#me who is barely fluent in one language: what could go wrong with the ultimate linguist!! :)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Not German

Hardersson x Teen!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You're not German

Magda doesn't often get phone calls from her manager. Most of the time it's emails or good old-fashioned letters in the mail so when she gets the phone call, she's a little confused.

She's even more confused when the topic turns out to not even be about her but you instead.

"Does y/n hold German citizenship?"

Magda's confused. "Huh? Erm...I don't know, why?"

"Was she born in Germany? Is that where her birth certificate is from?"

Magda laughs slightly. "Which one?" She turns serious though as anxiety swells in her gut. "Yeah, she's got a German birth certificate. And a Swedish one and a Danish one."

She hears her manager swear on the other side of the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Germany are interested."

"Interested? In what?"

"In having her play for their under-fifteen team."

Magda laughs again. "They can't do that. She's not German."

"Legally, she is. She was born in Germany. She's lived there for more than five years. She was registered in a German school while you and Pernille were at Bayern. Under the eligibility rules, she meets the criteria."

"She's not German," Magda insists.

"It's called jus soli - the principle of birthplace. She was born in Germany. She has citizenship. They can call her up if they want."

Magda swears. "They can't," She insists," I...I won't let them. We've settled. We're good where we are. She's too young to be shipped off across the world to a country that-"

"To a country that's interested in her? A country whose language she's fluent in? A country that she's grown up in?"

Magda grinds her teeth. "A country that shouldn't be trying to poach the future star of Sweden or Denmark. How did they even find out about this anyway? It's sneaky. She's not theirs to have."

"Magda-"

"No! She's barely fourteen! She's not going to Germany!"

"Who's not going to Germany?"

Pernille appears in the doorway, still wrapped up in her coat from where she's just gotten back from dropping you off at training.

"y/n." Magda's still grinding her teeth. "Germany want her."

"For what?"

"To play on their youth team."

It's not often that rage flickers on Pernille's face but this is clearly one of those times.

"She's not eligible to play for them," She says firmly, as if her speaking it into existence will make it happen.

"Apparently she is. Some stupid law about being born in Germany," Magda replies, turning her phone onto speaker.

"They can't have her."

"That's what I said."

"She's too young to go off to Germany by herself."

"I said that too."

"You're missing the point," Magda's manager says," They're inviting her to play for them. It's not them saying she has to or them pretending that they're her only option. Just an option. She's not registered with them so they put out feelers with the Swedish FA who put them in contact with me."

"She's not German," Magda insists again, feeling her throat tighten.

In her mind, Sweden and Denmark were always going to be the only option for you. One day, one (or both) would want to call you up for the senior team. One day, you would choose which of your mothers' footsteps to walk in. One day, you would either be wearing Sweden or Denmark's colours at an international tournament.

She hadn't even considered that your birth and time spent growing up in Germany would mean that you might not end up in either her's or Pernille's team.

"Listen, Germany knows that. They know that but they also know who her parents are, they know she's on track to be one of the best keepers in the world. They know that she speaks the language and she's smart. To them, securing her now could mean she chooses them when she turns eighteen and all three of us know that when she hits eighteen, she's going to be great. It's tactical for them. Sure, they lucked out on her meeting all of the eligibility criteria and, sure, it's completely underhanded and sneaky of them but, ultimately, it's no one's decision but hers. She's not registered with them. If they want her they go through me and they go through you. But they want her and a decision needs to be made."

"A decision has been made," Magda says," The decision is no. They can't have her. She's too young to go to Germany by herself. She's too young to be mixed in with the politics of this all. It's confusing and I won't let it happen."

Pernille's nodding firmly at her side even though Magda's manager can't see them.

"It's...Magda, I understand what you're saying. I do. None of us want her in German colours but...it's not your decision to make. It's hers."

"She's not here right now," Pernille says after a long stretch of silence," She's at practice."

"Talk to her when she comes home," Magda's manager says," Let her make the decision."

●～●～●～●～

You think Momma and Morsa have had an argument when you slip through the front door after having been dropped off back home by your friend's mother.

The vibe at the dinner table is frosty and you glance between your mothers awkwardly.

You're not entirely sure what they could have argued about but it's making your dinner very unenjoyable.

"So," Morsa says finally, putting her cutlery down," What do you think about Germany?"

Momma shoots her a look and your eyes dart between them.

"Er...Are we moving again? Back to Germany?"

Morsa's eyes widen. "Why? Is that something you want? You want to go back to Germany?"

Momma keeps glaring at her and horror swirls in your stomach.

"Are you two breaking up?" You ask quickly, looking between them in disbelief. "Is that why you're asking about Germany? Is one of your moving to Germany and you're sorting out who I'm living with?"

You stand up quickly, your chair clattering to the ground.

"I-I don't want to have this conversation."

"No! No, princesse." Momma reaches out to grab at your wrists, pulling you into her grip. "Me and Morsa aren't breaking up. We're not separating. We're not moving to Germany."

Morsa scoffs.

"We're not moving to Germany, Magda!" Momma snaps before pulling away, her tone softening," I'm sorry for worrying you, princesse, but me and Morsa got a call today."

"A call?"

You're guided back into your seat.

"A call," Morsa says. Her hands are clenching and releasing on top of the table.

"And...This call had nothing to do with you two separating?"

"Nothing at all," Momma assures you," It just threw us."

"And it's about Germany?"

"You were born in Germany," Morsa continues, though her eye twitches like it did all those years ago when Leah Williamson gave you her shirt," And you went to school in Germany, when you were younger. Do you remember?"

"I only went to school once a week," You reply," You home schooled me the rest of the time."

"We did but it was still a German school you went to."

"I guess. What has this got to do with the call, though?"

"My manager called earlier. Germany's interested in inviting you to their under-fifteen team."

"Oh." You sink down in your seat. You don't like where this is going at all. Both of your mothers had played for their youth teams. They were always going on about how much of a good experience it was for them.

You hadn't been called up for either Sweden or Denmark just yet.

You don't know if you really want to go to Germany to play.

"Oh?"

You laugh bitterly. "Germany, huh? I'm...I'm not German."

"Under the law, you are. And under the eligibility criteria, they can ask you to play for them," Momma explains.

"Oh..." You play with your food. "When do I have to leave?"

You don't want to play for Germany at all. You don't want to play for anywhere but Denmark or Sweden. But Momma and Morsa always go on and on about how much it improved them to play in the youth teams. You don't want to let them down.

You don't see Morsa's face fall at your words. "You want to go?"

"Do I have a choice?" You sullenly look at your food. Suddenly, everything tastes like ash in your mouth.

"Of course, princesse," Momma assures you," You always have a choice."

"You won't make me play if I don't want to?"

"Of course not."

"And-And Germany won't force me to play for them either?"

Morsa lays a hand on your arm. "What makes you think that Germany will force you to play for them?"

"Tia Tana said once that she and the Spanish team went on strike and then they all got called up during their next international break."

"This is a youth team, princesse," Morsa says," They have no right to ask that of you and they'll have to get through me, Momma and Sweden and Denmark to make you. You don't have to play for them if you don't want to."

"And you won't get mad? You always say that playing on the youth teams developed your skills."

"We won't get mad," Momma says," You don't want to play for Germany?"

"No."

"Okay. Then you won't play for Germany."

"That simple?"

"That simple."

You breathe out a long breath as your body finally relaxes, all of the tension bleeding out of the room.

Morsa is in a similar position, finally looking relaxed for the first time since you got home.

#woso x reader #hardersson x reader #pernille harder x reader #pernille harder #magdalena eriksson x reader #magdalena eriksson #woso community #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso #The Big Adventures Universe

[sodone-withlife]

i know who i am

summary: really, he never saw himself ever willingly letting anyone in on his broken past, but here he was, sitting in across from Waipo in the tiny cramped office at the back of the shop and nervously sweating about what he was about to tell her

read it on ao3: chapter 1 is the original version with Mandarin, chapter 2 has everything translated into English

the movie really hit me hard as an ABC, and I really wanted to write something for it. even though she barely had any screentime, I loved Waipo—she reminds me of so many of my relatives—so I decided to make her be one of the most important people in Shangqi’s life, and it turned into this wonderful mess (i had to stop writing this for a bit because I literally made myself cry). there is mandarin in this, it's kind of intended to be a physical manifestation of how my bilingual brain works (i did put the English-only version first, the original version with Mandarin is under that one but the formatting for it one is better on ao3, so i suggest reading it from there). apologies for my shitty mandarin; I have mediocre language skills, but I'm still so excited to be able to incorporate it in my writing. in regards to the character's names: I only know for certain the Chinese characters used for Shangqi and Wenwu, but for Xialing, I'm going to go with what it apparently was in the hong kong release (夏灵, with 灵灵 as the nickname)

English Translation:

“Waipo, do you have a bit of time?” Shangqi stood in front of Katy’s grandma, fidgeting nervously as fluent Mandarin rolled off of his tongue with an ease he's never felt in any other part of his life. “I want to talk to you about something."

She pinned him with a knowing stare. “Does it have anything to do with the trip you and Katy went on this past week?" she asked, Not waiting for his answer, she got up from the shop register and beckoned him into the back office. Feeling oddly like the first time he came into the store years ago as a teen—when he first met Katy’s family who had since taken him under their wing—he followed her into the familiar, cramped space.

He wasn’t exactly sure what within him prompted this interaction. He had come to San Francisco for a normal life, to get as far away from his father’s reaches as he could and to outrun the blood that stained his footsteps.

Never did Shangqi imagine that he would end up claiming the ancient rings that now sat in a heavy-duty (thanks to Xialing, with whom he now keeps in regular contact because of the promise they made to each other before he left the compound because he already left her behind once, and he’s never doing it again damn, my baby sister is running the Ten Rings now, and she’s trying to turn it into something better) and a very well-disguised (thanks to the sorcerers in the New York Sanctum and holy shit he’s in contact with famous superheroes now) back in his mess of a studio apartment.

Never did he imagine letting anyone in on his broken past, and even though his hand had been forced when it came to telling Katy, here he was going to the second person who truly saw something in him when he first started his new life and planning to tell them everything.

(Okay, fine, Shangqi wasn’t actually planning on letting anyone else in on it after telling Waipo, not even the rest of Katy’s family, but he really didn’t want them to be so involved yet—he still had no idea what he himself was doing and he wants to preserve what normalcy he can.)

(Also, he’s been reliably informed that anyone close to a public figure is bound to be targeted for attacks—which he figured out when the mercenaries attacked on the bus because yes, Lingling, he does have brain cells thank you very much.)

“Little Dragon, what’s on your mind?”

Little Dragon.

He started at the nickname, the one originally given to him by his mother. Somehow, it had completely slipped his mind that Waipo also called him that, starting a few weeks after he first met the Chen family. He barely kept it together, the long-unused nickname dredging up memories he had thought left him forever.

You have the heart of a dragon, she had declared firmly when he asked her why she decided on that particular nickname.

(That was exactly what his mother had told him right before she died, and yet he stood by, hidden behind a door, and did nothing while the men beat and killed her, the heart of the family.)

(He would carry the guilt with him for a lifetime.)

It was a while before he could bring himself to visit the family again—there were a lot of awkward excuses before Katy reluctantly backed off—and it took even longer for him to get somewhat used to the name again, but he eventually started seeing it as a gift with each faint impression of happier days that he got every time Waipo called him that.

Old, weathered hands gently covered his own, which were shaking and clammy with nervousness. Shangqi wondered how Waipo would react to the darker side of the lost boy she had basically adopted all those years ago, wondered if the legends of Ta-Lo and the Great Protector were known outside of the rather insular communities that continued to tell the stories, wondered if she had heard about his father through the stories that were passed down for thousands of years, from generation to generation…

(It can’t be wrong to miss him, can it? Even with the years of hell Wenwu had put him through, he was still his father. Shangqi still faintly remembered the man his father had been when his mother was still alive, the happy times they shared as a normal family…)

(But those times were long gone, ripped from their grasp by the past Wenwu wanted so badly to leave behind. Grief had shattered the whole family, and it ultimately led to the children fighting the father who had been driven to near madness in his denial, in his quest to put his broken family back together again.)

Mom, I miss you so much.

(And now Wenwu is dead, just like his beloved wife.)

(But just as she died to protect her children, he did the same. Now, his children are reunited and in contact again, getting ever closer despite living as far apart as they did, and he was reunited with his love in the afterlife.)

Finally, he straightened his posture and took a deep breath, looking directly at Waipo, who he’d come to view as the grandmother he never had.

“Waipo, have you heard of the legend of the Ten Rings?”

And Shangqi told her everything.

He told her everything and more,

She listened.

She listened as he described the legends behind the Ten Rings, Ta-Lo, and the Great Protector; his father’s history; his own history, from witnessing his mother’s death to ripping open the throat of the man who killed her when he was barely a teen, from leaving Lingling behind to seeing her again in the fight club she built from the ground up, from returning to the compound after a decade away in San Francisco to the battle in Ta-Lo…

Finally, he fell silent and stared at his hands but it wasn’t long before Waipo moved, slowly standing up with one hand on her cane. He made to help stabilize her but was quickly waved off with a stern look. He sank back into the chair and felt her move behind him. The shaky weight of her hands on his shoulders as she gently pressed down and straightened his posture was familiar, even after years of not having his posture deliberately—so gently—fixed like that every time he saw Waipo.

“You are the legacy of all who came before you, but you are your own person.” she finally said gently, and the tension in his shoulders slowly loosened under her familiar touch. “You decide your own fate.”

~~~

That night, Shangqi knelt before the altar he had in his apartment, the only part that was carefully maintained in all the years he had lived there. But now, two smiling faces stared back at him, a joy reflected in their eyes that he knew would disappear in less than ten years after the photo was taken.

Am I still your pride and joy? Lingling grew up, but I didn’t even take care of her like I should have.

I swear to you, I will never abandon her again

Even as his life got even more unbelievable as the years went by, the altar and his copy of his parent’s wedding photo would remain a constant. He and Lingling dove deeper into their family history—of the Ten Rings, of Ta-Lo, of both the good and bad—and both worked to carry on their parents’ legacy.

(With all of the proper discretion agreements and threats when needed, of course.)

Lingling is dating my best friend now, and they’re so happy together. Mom, I know you would have loved Katy. Dad, I know you didn’t like her much, but she really is a wonderful person.

Life went on.

There were the good days, when he went out with others and could almost feel normal, and there were the bad days, when phantoms pains plagued him and he woke up from a restless sleep expecting to see bruises mottling his body like they did so often when he was younger.

(Also, he was considered a superhero now and holy shit that’s still insane, even years after he first got in contact with the Avengers and the sorcerers in New York. Now he was going all over the West Coast, to help the locals take care of whichever crazy supervillain decided to wreak havoc that day.)

Dad, I hope you find this story as funny as I did: I helped a group of American superheroes yesterday. They’ve never been to San Francisco before and were extremely unfamiliar with the roads, especially Lombard Street. They spent half an hour trying to drive down the street, but I ended up driving them down myself.

(San Francisco was still home, and he had found a life there with all his friends and Xialing whenever she visited. He had a job now, too, at the local youth center teaching martial arts and self-defense, teaching and guiding the youth in a way he wishes his father had with him.)

People came into his life; some stayed, some left, and some even got together.

Mom, Dad, Lingling and Katy are getting married today and everyone is so excited for them. I’m taking over the Ten Ring within a month so Lingling can take a break. She’s led the organization for so long, it’s my responsibility now. I hope I can live up to her standards, she’s done really well. She’ll be back in a few years, but even after, I’m going to be much more involved to lessen Lingling’s workload.

Shangqi walked the path knowing who came before him and who was still with him.

Most importantly, he walked the path knowing who he was—demons, flaws, strengths, and all.

Mom, Dad, don’t worry. I’ll take care of them.

I hope you’re happy together in the afterlife.

~~~

Don’t be afraid, Shang-Chi, for you have heart of a dragon and the power of the Ten Rings.

We will always be with you and Xialing.

Original Version w/Mandarin

“外婆，您有没有一点儿时间？” 尚气 stood in front of Katy’s grandma, fidgeting nervously. “我想告诉您一些事情。”

She pinned him with a knowing stare. “是不是跟你和瑞雯这前个星期去的旅行有关？” Not waiting for his answer, she got up from the shop register and beckoned him into the back office. Feeling oddly like the first time he came into the store years ago as a teen—when he first met Katy’s family who had since taken him under their wing—he followed her into the familiar, cramped space.

He wasn’t exactly sure what within him prompted this interaction. He had come to San Francisco for a normal life, to get as far away from his father’s reaches as he could and to outrun the blood that stained his footsteps.

Never did 尚气 imagine that he would end up claiming the ancient rings that now sat in a heavy-duty (thanks to 夏灵, with whom he now keeps in regular contact because of the promise they made to each other before he left the compound because he already left her behind once, and he’s never doing it again and damn, my baby sister is running the Ten Rings now, and she’s trying to turn it into something better) and a very well-disguised (thanks to the sorcerers in the New York Sanctum and holy shit he’s in contact with famous superheroes now) back in his mess of a studio apartment.

Never did he imagine letting anyone in on his broken past, and even though his hand had been forced when it came to telling Katy, here he was going to the second person who truly saw something in him when he first started his new life and planning to tell them everything.

(Okay, fine, 尚气 wasn’t actually planning on letting anyone else in on it after telling 外婆, not even the rest of Katy’s family, but he really didn’t want them to be so involved yet—he still had no idea what he himself was doing and he wants to preserve what normalcy he can.)

(Also, he’s been reliably informed that anyone close to a public figure is bound to be targeted for attacks—which he figured out when the mercenaries attacked on the bus because yes, 灵灵, he does have brain cells thank you very much.)

“小龙，你有什么心事儿？”

Little Dragon.

He started at the nickname, the one originally given to him by his mother. Somehow, it had completely slipped his mind that 外婆 also called him that, starting a few weeks after he first met the Chen family. He barely kept it together, the long-unused nickname dredging up memories he had thought left him forever.

你有神龙之心 ，she had declared firmly when he asked her why she decided on that particular nickname. You have the heart of a dragon.

(That was exactly what his mother had told him right before she died, and yet he stood by, hidden behind a door, and did nothing while the men beat and killed her, the heart of the family.)

(He would carry the guilt with him for a lifetime.)

It was a while before he could bring himself to visit the family again—there were a lot of awkward excuses before Katy reluctantly backed off—and it took even longer for him to get somewhat used to the name again, but he eventually started seeing it as a gift with each faint impression of happier days that he got every time 外婆 called him that.

Old, weathered hands gently covered his own, which were shaking and clammy with nervousness. 尚气 wondered how 外婆 would react to the darker side of the lost boy she had basically adopted all those years ago, wondered if the legends of Ta-Lo and the Great Protector were known outside of the rather insular communities that continued to tell the stories, wondered if she had heard about his father through the stories that were passed down for thousands of years, from generation to generation…

(It can’t be wrong to miss him, can it? Even with the years of hell 文武 had put him through, he was still his father. 尚气 still faintly remembered the man his father had been when his mother was still alive, the happy times they shared as a normal family…)

(But those times were long gone, ripped from their grasp by the past 文武 wanted so badly to leave behind. Grief had shattered whole family, and it ultimately led to the children fighting the father who had been driven to near madness in his denial, in his quest to put his broken family back together again.)

妈妈，我太想你了。

(And now 文武 is dead, just like his beloved wife.)

(But just as she died to protect her children, he did the same. Now, his children are reunited and in contact again, getting ever closer despite living as far apart as they did, and he was reunited with his love in the afterlife.)

Finally, he straightened his posture and took a deep breath, looking directly at 外婆, who he’d come to view as the grandmother he never had.

“外婆，您听说过 ‘十环’ 的传说吗？”

And 尚气 told her everything.

He told her everything and more,

She listened.

She listened as he described the legends behind the Ten Rings, Ta-Lo, and the Great Protector; his father’s history; his own history, from witnessing his mother’s death to ripping open the throat of the man who killed her when he was barely a teen, from leaving 灵灵 behind to seeing her again in the fight club she built from the ground up, from returning to the compound after a decade away in San Francisco to the battle in Ta-Lo…

Finally, he fell silent and stared at his hands but it wasn’t long before 外婆 moved, slowly standing up with one hand on her cane. He made to help stabilize her but was quickly waved off with a stern look. He sank back into the chair and felt her move behind him. The shaky weight of her hands on his shoulders as she gently pressed down and straightened his posture was familiar, even after years of not having his posture deliberately—so gently—fixed like that every time he saw 外婆.

“你是所有在你之前的人的遗产，但你是你自己的人，” she finally said，“你决定你自己的命运。”

You are the legacy of all who came before you, but you are your own person. You decide your own fate.

~~~

That night, 尚气 knelt before the altar he had in his apartment, the only part that was carefully maintained in all the years he had lived there. But now, two smiling faces stared back at him, a joy reflected in their eyes that he knew would disappear in less than ten years after the photo was taken.

我还是你的骄傲吗？灵灵长大了，但我也没好好照顾她。

我向你发誓，我再也不会抛弃她。

Even as his life got even more unbelievable as the years went by, the altar and his copy of his parent’s wedding photo would remain a constant. He and 灵灵 dove deeper into their family history—of the Ten Rings, of Ta-Lo, of both the good and bad—and both worked to carry on their family’s legacy.

(With all of the proper discretion agreements and threats when needed, of course.)

灵灵跟我朋友最近开始谈恋爱，他们俩可开心了。妈，如果你还在我们身边，我保证你会喜欢她。爸，我知道你一开始不太喜欢她，但她确实是一位精彩的人。

Life went on.

There were the good days, when he went out with others and could almost feel normal, and there were the bad days, when phantoms pains plagued him and he woke up from a restless sleep expecting to see bruises mottling his body like they did so often when he was younger.

(Also, he was considered a superhero now and holy shit that’s still insane, even years after he first got in contact with the Avengers and the sorcerers in New York. Now he was going all over the West Coast, to help the locals take care of whichever crazy supervillain decided to wreak havoc that day.)

爸爸，我希望你跟我一样觉得这个故事很好笑：我昨天帮了一组美国超级英雄开车。那是他们第一次来旧京山，对道路非常陌生—尤其是 Lombard Street。他们开也开不好，花了半个小时慢慢的开下去。最终，我把他们的车开下去的。

(San Francisco was still home, and he had found a life there with all his friends and 夏灵 whenever she visited. He had a job now, too, at the local youth center teaching martial arts and self-defense, teaching and guiding the youth in a way he wishes his father had with him.)

People came into his life; some stayed, some left, and some even got together.

妈，爸，灵灵她今天会跟我最好的朋友结婚，我们都很兴奋。我一个月之内开始接管十环的业务，让灵灵休息休息。她干了多少年了，现在是我的责任。我希望我能辜负她，她管的非常棒，帮了许多人。她几年后会回来继续当领导，但我好像在领导方面发挥更大的作用。

He walked the path knowing who came before him and who was still with him.

Most importantly, he walked the path knowing who he was—demons, flaws, strengths, and all.

妈，爸，你们放心吧，我会照顾他们。

我希望你们俩来世都幸福。

~~~

尚气，你别怕，你有神龙之心，十环的力量。

我们永远会在你和灵灵的身边。

#i’m so sorry if the mandarin is shitty #the format is better on ao3 #but i’m so excited to be able to at least try it #shang chi spoilers #shang chi and the legend of the ten rings spoilers #shang chi fanfiction #shang chi #shang chi and the legend of the ten rings #marvel fanfiction #mcu #shang chi imagines

[shay11a]

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again. 

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that. 

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING) 

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.  

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece. 

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything 

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius. 

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic. 

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters 

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.   

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has  consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective)  makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area. 

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing. 

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant. 

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious 

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking. 

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?” 

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part.... 

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you…  ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled”  This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333 

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her.  Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow. 

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else) 

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.”  The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me  

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?”  <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you 

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here 

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way. 

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?”  No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends. 

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most  natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this 

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus 

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is 

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable. 

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best  way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails. 

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again. 

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun 

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads 

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism. 

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that. 

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ 

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t. 

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU 

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! ! 

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece 

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful 

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable 

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry 

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind 

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you  sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part 

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man 

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin. 

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff  because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there 

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the  and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school 

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl 

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

#BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook #jk #bts fanfic #fanfic review #New rules #god I finally finished this #I feel strangely nostalgic because I read this ff when I was in a really bad place and it resonated with me on so many levels #like it brought me comfort and to finish this feels like closure even though it's not even finished #it's like finishing harry potter all over again gosh #please read it :((( #I never see Tayegi and her amazing work in people pic recs and like recommandations it makes so sad she is the most talented person #I have been a silent reader for too long it was my way of compensating for that #Tayegi if you're reading this tags don't stress over updating this isn't about making you post faster this is me thanking you

[maxmcyfield]

Peyton Chua Shares Her Firsts | Teen Vogue - Youtube

posted on 12 October 2021

[...]

First Big Career Decision?

I think... Like the first time I turned down a dance job to do a role. Yeah. Like I was offered to do a pretty big dance tour, and I had done a couple rehearsals at that point, and then I got called that I got the role for Ladybird. It was a really big decision for me because I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions but ultimately I took a stand and told my mom I wanted to act. I think it was then when I was filming Ladybird and I got to watch Winnie Ramsey work and act her heart out that I realized how much I loved it and that I could just... really do it - that I thought ‘Oh okay, I want to do this for real’. Because of that I got to be where I am now and doing all this acting that I love! And I still love dancing and I get to do it so it was a win-win. Thankfully. Thank god.

First Movie Premiere?

It was for Pitch Perfect 2! Wow I remember this way too well. Me and my sister and a couple other Dance Moms girls were invited and it was so exhilarating? Like we got to pick out our dresses and got our hair and makeup done and everything. I remember being so nervous on the carpet for some reason so I was holding on to Lily’s hand so tightly while we were taking pictures. I was wearing like a

First Time Abroad?

I don’t remember it I know but we used to always go to China to visit my grandparents. It was usually for Chinese New Year for a couple days a year. So I was on planes even before I realized what I was doing, really.

First New Language?

I used to speak some Hokkien and Mandarin to my grandparents when I was younger. But then when my grandma moved here to live with us when I was around fourteen? I think? I spoke to her a lot in Mandarin and became pretty fluent because of that. [in Mandarin:] I was really the only one who tried to learn Mandarin with my grandmother so no one else except my mom really speaks Mandarin. My little sister does, a little, enough that we use it sometimes when we don’t want anyone else to know what we’re saying.

First Los Angeles Moment?

Sia brought my brothers, Elias and Oliver, Lily and I out to go eat In N’ Out. It’s simple, but it was just a really nice thing after we got settled into our new house after moving from Pittsburgh, she wanted to spend time with us before we had to start dance rehearsals again so we just ate some really good burgers and then hit up an arcade and had ice cream after. It really helped me ground myself in that moment of “Wow! I’m in LA!” but in the best way possible. Like I’m still here with my family and we’re having fun together as a family and not everything is show business and dance.

[...]

First Dancing On Stage Experience?

It was my first mini elite dance competition! I was five and it was great, surprisingly. Like I felt like a star on that stage. There weren’t that many people in the audience either so that helped because it was just between the Pittsburgh dance studios. My first ever number was a tap number titled ‘Over the Clouds’! I had a cute little sky blue leotard with a flowy skirt and I danced my tiny heart away into a third placing.

First Role That Inspired Me to be an Actress or a Dancer?

But when I was really tiny? This is gonna sound so dumb, but genuinely? The first Step Up movie. Like these people were doing real dancing and they were acting? Blew my little mind. Also Joy Luck Club - it was the first time I saw people who looked like me on stage leading a movie. Yes, I love the Step Up series. I was never really a hip hop dancer but watching those movies made me fall in love with the art of it and made me want to try it out in classes at my old studio. Really kind of changed the trajectory of the type of dancer I’d become even though I didn’t realize it at first. Of course, I’d love to be in one in the future - if they ever make them anymore?

[...]

First Best Friend?

Jean! Jean Harlow. Who was on Dance Moms with me and we still hang out sometimes today too! Like I plan to meet her tomorrow before I go to Charleston. I remember it was before our tap class together. We had seen each other before a couple of times, but that specific time, we were both earlier than everyone else and we set our stuff next to each other and something just clicked, you know?

First Instant Connection?

If we’re talking about people and not wi-fi or something then Link and I when we first met... it was an instant feeling of closeness. He’s just so warm and personable that the initial awkwardness of meeting someone new I usually feel just disappeared. Our director, after our first rehearsal, got us to just walk around New York for a bit and we got ice cream and we just talked for a long time. I probably told him far too much about me like... TMI stuff, but it never felt wrong. I’m lucky he still wanted to date me after all that. But yeah... that’s kind of when I knew I’d have him in my life for a long time.

First Kiss?

I think everyone knows the answer to this. It was on Dance Moms! Everyone saw me run away when I had to do it! But yes, I was ten and it was with Paolo - who I talk to sometimes still today, he’s doing amazing things in dance right now - and... full disclosure, I hated it. Sorry Paolo. But sometimes I like to think that my first kiss was with Tristan Falkenrath from Permafrost. Why? Because that was the next time I ever kissed anyone! It was for a movie we shot together, and he was so nice especially because I was so nervous, and like I was so so happy because I had basically fulfilled the dreams of twelve-year-old Pey.

First Time Being Starstruck?

Oh, meeting Permafrost for sure. I remember this so clearly I was fourteen, and it was straight after dance rehearsals. It was my first concert too. I begged my mom to let me go and my step dad got me meet and greet passes as a treat and my older sister brought me. It was crazy like I remember just barely saying anything I felt so dumb but I also remember Minzy smiled at me to like encourage me which was the coolest thing. Then I was crying immediately after I took the pictures with them and then also crying during the concert. And yes, anyone that knows me knows that I do still feel very strongly for Permafrost.

#peyton #anom #i love... she... #also since he's mentioned #o:lincoln #peyton x lincoln #otp:can't hide it

[hippyspacewitch]

This has been building up for a while and this recent “bible” argument really bothers me. I can’t and won’t stay quiet about this. This is pungent with Fox News and the extreme Republican views. How can you not feel for people. It is genuinely upsetting and heart breaking. Those who stand on the side of coldness and disregard for life. You’re beyond despicable. There just aren’t words powerful enough to describe how much. Hypocritical. Sickening. These are words we could rightfully use to set the tone for an administration that strongly advocates putting children into concentration camps, separating families, while at the same time declaring it always necessary to follow through with every pregnancy. How cruel and lacking self awareness can you be? No, this is done in order to keep people down, and maintain control. Willful ignorance evolves into ultimate evil again.

I am not a sadness seeking person. I’m not the misery chick. Coming off a good high, actually. I’m living my life, feeling good. Aren’t I a lucky duck. Sweat is smelly, but it feels so good to get out of my skin for a bit. Looking more fit, take a pic, feeling happy. Whelp, let’s take a little trip to yon’ internet, gonna post another selfie of my cute face, look at those dimples! Wait, I’m not looking at my dimples anymore.

Looking at what’s going on in the world instead, so I continue reading NEWS, which is based on FACTS. I know. REALLY crazy to hear. Hopefully that catches on one day. Regardless, I am incredibly saddened. Only wish to repost the unpleasant articles I read, hoping it helps create awareness. It doesn’t feel like an appropriate time for sharing pleasantries or my happiness, because I’m truly very upset with the direction this current regime is leading our nation.

We weren’t too far from that standard already, but snowflakes are pushing back hard, trying to double down on ending crucial necessities needed to maintain a semi-capable, albeit heavily flawed, semi-civilized society. So many people have died to protect the right just to exist with dignity, relative to that previously stated fact alone, as it pertains mainly to the elongated fight for basic human rights. People of all races and cultural backgrounds have died for that much. I’m wholeheartedly dissatisfied and sickened by the actions of not just the notorious current administration, but the White House too, along with those who see the overall standard of humanity that so many people hold, as anything short of unacceptable. If you accept this, you should feel ashamed. I can’t say that enough, if you don’t hear your momma’s voice. If you continue to follow me, I’ll make sure you hear my voice enough.

I’ll make you feel something, whether you just stop reading because you can’t handle the truth, or if you’re feeling froggy, ready to speak against me, (I’ll weed y’all out.) or hey, you evolve at least far enough to want to see the world be better someday. (Work toward the latter.)

Therefore I am strongly urging and pleading with COGNITIVELY DISSONANT WHITE PEOPLE out there. It is long past time you MAKE A CHANGE, concerning the way you think about racism and race. SPECIFICALLY ADDRESSING people of PRIVILEGE here, anyone born into the Christian faith, not specific enough, here - WHITE PEOPLE! Yes, I am one, and I even fit all that above criteria. Well look at that. I can speak for myself and therefore others like me. Coming from a place where I was misdiagnosed AMAB (that’s assigned male at birth) I can absolutely say it is EASY for me to recognize the first 27 years of my life I was living with the highest standard of privilege in the United States. I still live with privilege as a white person, even as a transgender woman.

Anyone who knows me well enough, might say, “Well, Eris you’ve described what it’s like to live in an impoverished area, with high levels of crime, gang violence, and from what you tell me, you had reason to be afraid. That doesn’t sound like privilege” To which I would respond to myself as someone else, for the purposes of making a point in this hypothetical scenario that fits my point in the end, “Self that isn’t myself, because I’m not an idiot. We see comment sections for days, with white people fired up, wanting so bad to let the world know from their brand new iPhone, they experienced some semblance of living within poverty. White people essentially bragging about having a cup of coffee in the ghetto. It’s either that, or meth head white people living in a meth head white people neighborhood. Fox News’ most loyal demographic. White people who take unemployment, have tons of babies, vote Republican, damn liberals out there who are fighting to keep them off the street, with extremely limited resources given. Some viewers don’t know the definition of ironic, but isn’t it ironic? Ignorance isn’t at all self aware, until you spell it out for them slowly, and then there’s a chance they briefly acknowledge it before turning away, and forgetting it happened entirely. That said we must strive to look further than our individual experience for lessons.”

I heard that hot garbage living in Washington. Surrounded by meth heads. Working at the gas station, you here people talk. False arguments straight from hypocritical, entitled white people who are just looking to close the gap and get even more. So many of them are far too shameless, they’ll just admit it themselves. Who else are they going to tell? I can’t make this up. People who think like this are naturally afraid, as you should be. Fear clouds our minds far too often, but white people like this are next level.

Pissed off they have to share, like an overgrown petulant brat, ready to lick whatever unseen, promised hints of scum off a criminal inheritors shitty ass boot, as long as they feel like that boot isn’t treading on them. I’m not at all going to even get into my experience living in a bad neighborhood, here. I won’t even get into how long either. I can tell you, it was bad enough for me to want to know why. Now, I know why, and it’s more important to know. Privilege white politicians redistricting people based on race.

If you’re at all uncomfortable hearing white people, think how other people must be feeling about the whole sociology of race and everyday human relations. Oh I’m sorry, you can’t know, and neither can I. White people contribute to poverty maintaining class and privilege, institutionalizing racism through laws they create with that specific intention. Now they want to shut immigrants out entirely. The rich are a head of the curve in terms of closing the gap. Not out of strictly self preservation, the real goal is to maintain constant control and domination, basically keep people of color down.

This is barely getting close to just scratching the surface about race. A subject, I actually don’t like speaking a whole lot about. I don’t feel like I’m appropriate representation, for one thing. Personally, more of a reader on the subject. I will explain my experience learning about racism. It was fairly early on. I didn’t learn it, because of the area I lived in. The area I lived in was small, bad areas are small or larger depending on the states race issues and redistricting. I learned it before I moved there actually. There’s no way to put this without causing discomfort, so I apologize.

My biological donor called my former step dad the n word constantly. I actually asked him about it. I was very young, so I only remember my stepdad at the time, explaining certain things in a very delicate way, mostly to not harm my innocence. Saying he doesn’t actually feel like he’s a racist, that he’s just mad. It was hard on my mom and step dad to struggle with not wanting to shatter the image of my biological father, versus him basically doing it to himself. Being an empath, I recognized it was difficult, eventually I was calling them out on it. That doesn’t really have much to do with where I’m going, it’s just a bit of background to my mind altering experience as it pertains to learning about race.

Once I was older, around fifth or sixth grade, a few people would target me at school, because I’m white. It wasn’t until we got older, for the last couple years before I moved. I used to just be frustrated that we couldn’t keep seeing past it. I had yet to discover why that thought is selfish, but I was a good hearted kid. I thought it wasn’t fair, remembering how I felt, as it pertains to expecting people to learn English. How many extra languages are you fluent in, again. It isn’t easy for most people to casually pick up another language.

It’s important to realize, I’d been taught discrimination is wrong. I was taught not to blame other people for my problem. Once again, more learned behavior. My whole point is coming into fruition soon. Yes, I was discriminated against for being a white person. There it is, did you catch it? You might only be able to imagine why people of color would discriminate against white people; if you watch bullshit news and drink hot garbage for tea, wake up and smell the coffee!

If you are not lacking in awareness, you don’t have to look very far to see racism for what it is, and know the difference between perceived racism (discrimination) and racism as a contributing factor in our society. A real problem that effects people of color in so many complex ways, I truly can’t comprehend. It’s hard enough being trans and dealing with people hating you, before they know you at all. That’s one instance I can peel back in a big old nasty onion with many layers. Another privilege for white people, along with ignoring it, as far I am concerned it’s absolutely willful ignorance.

Deflate this desperate flotation mechanism and aesthetics. I hope this at least brings people the shame and guilt too many people are tired of feeling and want to just move past. Check yourself white people, you have no idea what it’s like to struggle daily as a disenfranchised person of color. You might have problems, but your privilege confines your experience.

#race #racisim #redistricting #discrimination #profiling #politics #white privlege #privledge #white people #wokeuplikethis #stay woke #people of color #inequality #immigration #willfully ignorant #fear #freedom #right to choose #human rights #basic human rights #basic human decency

[deathbyvalentine]

DuD Fiction Mild FOIP

Family

Cal said a prayer for each of them, every night. They said a prayer for everybody of course, for all those they knew and all those they didn’t, but these by name. 

Nic first. They prayed that he would hate himself a little less, that his mind would heal without fracturing more. They prayed even for the parts they shouldn’t. They prayed that he wouldn’t leave them or forget them. They prayed that they wouldn’t stray too far from him, or forget him either. Half of the prayer was merely his name, trying to carve it so not even the sea of souls could wash it away.

Silvestro. They prayed for his darkness. They prayed that his duties wouldn’t leave too deep a mark on him. They prayed for his resentment and his bitterness and his anger, and mostly for his healing.

Bridge, who’s name still tasted wrong compared to the one they heard in a hospital bed that was not theirs. They prayed for him because they were sure he prayed for everybody else and weren’t sure that anybody prayed for him. They prayed that his family wouldn’t get lost from him.

Anoretta. For all her mistakes, real and imagined. For all her wounds, her own and others. For all her stubborness, for all her tears, for the future Cal so desperately wanted them to have together. 

Baris. Baris, always. Baris who had broken them to the point where their words were barely even a prayer, and more of a litany of begging for forgiveness. Forgive me for all the things I did, but most importantly, the ones I did not do. 

Often Argento, Gwyn. Sometimes Mitra-Shadi, Aleph. Rarely Esme, if they were feeling particularly selfless. Then they felt guilty for not always including her, and prayed for some forgiveness. They did not pray for Grulge, as they figured he had his own lookout and quite enough help as it stood. 

Their prayers never truly ceased. 

Emperor’s Chosen

They had spent the first half of their life wishing they were special. They had tried to be, trained and worked and sweated for the chance to win at something. They didn’t even care what the prize was - it was the winning that mattered, the acknowledgement, the victory.  And they failed, ultimately. 

And the next quarter of their life was spent wishing they didn’t exist. Wishing to be the opposite of special, wishing to be invisible and obscure. Being a psyker was not a blessing. Everybody knew it was a curse at best and a death sentence at worst.

And now. Something had changed. Irrefutable proof they were special. It didn’t feel uncomplicatedly good. It hurt. It was hard. Harder than anything else they had ever faced. Lonely too. Nobody else could possibly understand this. The horror of a body that was not only not your own, but was supposed to be a gift. They couldn’t rage, they couldn’t fight, they had to bite back their anger and transform it into gratitude. Their destiny, their fate was inescapable and all consuming and suddenly, their specialness didn’t seem like something they wanted any more. 

And they couldn’t tell a single damn person.

Sacrifice/ Duty

You want to talk about sacrifice? Let’s talk about sacrifice. 

Let’s talk about blood and oil. Let’s talk about how they both oiled the factory gears equally and how you never fucking saw what you made. Let’s talk about sleepless nights and blistered hands and sweltering heat. Seeing gears in every time you close your eyes. Everything aching. 

Then there’s the sacrifice you give to the ships. Your joy, your love, your bravery until nothing of the old you is left. Until you’re a shadow with a body. The screaming in your head starts here, and never goes away, not really, not truly. 

Your eyes aren’t even the last thing you give. You give your life, really. This was it, forever, owned and branded and owned. You are property all over again, except not to the Admech, to the Imperium. So many people have claims to you, there is none left for yourself. You whittle off parts of yourself and hand them over to the powers that be.

And now your palms bleed and ache. And now you can’t sleep. And your chest had wounds in it that go deeper than skin, and everyone looks at you with wide, hopeful eyes, and you know you’re going to let them down. You become more than a person to these pilgrims. You don’t matter, not really, but the voice in your head does. You sacrifice your feelings, because they can’t matter with lives at stake.

But people will still look at you, and see nothing but what you have, not what you gave.

The Virtues of Shooting Psykers

Lance loved his work. He loved the arid simplicity of it, the clean lines and choices that made it the direct opposite of his somewhat messy personal life. Someone was placed in front of him, and he broke them or killed them. He was placed in his cockpit and he destroyed whatever machine they told him to. No thinking required, half the time. Just muscle memory and instincts.

Idly, he crushed his cigarette underneath the heel of his boot, leaving a smear of ash across the metal floor. His leather gloves were a little tacky with blood still, the air conditioning in the room drying it unnaturally fast. The psyker’s head was drooped, chin to chest, a small trickle of scarlet dried by the corner of his mouth. Lance wasn’t quite sure how long he had been in custody total, but he had been in his care for three days now. The cuffs had dug angry red lines into his wrists, his shoulders tight and surely agonising from hours sitting in the same unforgiving chair.  

Lance didn’t feel sympathy towards him. Nor did he feel disgust. Rather he felt an abstract distaste, making him want to turn away, not look the creature in the eyes. It was almost an acute embarrassment, that this person could exist and not simply just fade away of their own accord. No, they had insisted on living and both of them had to live with the consequences. 

His dataslate buzzed obnoxiously, clattering across the table set in front of the psyker. He opened it casually, sighing as he read his orders, locking it again a moment after. He unsheathed the laz pistol strapped to his outer thigh and began checking the energy pack. The psyker started, feet pushing fruitlessly at the floor in a vain effort to retreat. 

“I would say this isn’t personal, but we both know that’s not exactly true, don’t we?” His voice betrayed no hint of anger, pity or resignation. In fact, it betrayed nothing at all. No emotion. “You have betrayed the Throne, which makes it personal to well, basically everybody.” He cocked his gun. “But well, I’d be lying if I said that was the main reason. Mostly, well, I like it. And I’m good at it. Pray while you still can. Someone’s gotta hear you, right?”

Corruption

“A-Argento, is this… Okay. Right.

The Imperium is facing some difficult choices. Some of these choices will seem too much for us to bear, but we must not lose hope. All of us are special - all of us are blessed with the presence of the God Emperor.

But this does not mean we can be complacent. We must all look inside ourselves and decide what we can do to bring Her glory. We must fight and we must die. We must sacrifice. We must obey just authority. We must root out the corruption and the rot, wherever we find it. We will cleanse it with pain, with prayer, and with flame. Faith is our weapon and it will never fail us.

I know sometimes the work can seem too huge to bear. I have been frightened, I have been weak. But I find His love, and it gives me strength. I remember that my fear does not excuse me from doing Her holy work. A friend… A captain once said to me, that everything you must do, when you stand before His golden you must be able to justify to Her. Think - have you done enough to defeat His enemies? Have you done your duty to the best of your ability? Have you fulfilled your purpose to Her? Have you dedicated your life to Him alone?

A future is ahead of us, and it is beautiful. We will move on from the ashes of our past sins, and bathe in the light of a galaxy lit only with flame and golden light. I pray for all of us, and She listens. This much I know to be true.”

Ave Imperator

It felt odd sometimes, knowing what they knew, feeling what they felt. The God they worshipped had turned out to be a stranger to them, and yet now, they were closer than ever. Cal felt the lines between them had truly began to blur. Cal knew that with every dream, every changed perspective, every time they forgot where they were or what someone’s name was.

Their love had deepened for Her. They were obsessed in all honesty, their every other thought coming back to Her. It was understandable - His voice was echoing in their head constantly after all, drenching everything in molten gold. 

Distantly, they remembered Olethra. They remembered reverent faces reaching out to touch their skirts, their hands, their hair. They remembered crouching, healing every wound they came across, whispering of the Omnissiah and the God Emperor, code switching with alarming ease. It was like speaking two languages, fluent in both. This was the tiniest hint of worship, and they wondered what He must feel like.

Did She get tired of the constant requests and cries for help, thousands upon thousands all at once? Did He wish He could talk, just talk to someone, about something other than the fate of the known universe? Cal thought She must be very lonely, and strove to pray about everything and nothing, just wanting the intimacy of baring your soul and expecting nothing in return.

Lazgun

She crouched in the vents, bandanna pulled over her nose and mouth, and tilted her head, listening to the noise below her. The hive market was bustling, calls carrying over the heads of patrons, bartering and arguments intermingling, all the little noises of life. Steam rose from freshly cooked corpsestarch and smoke rose from Iho sticks. The comings and goings in the narrow corridors into the plaza made the populace look almost like the sea, waves upon waves.

She scanned the crowd manually, knowing her auxspecs was useless here. There were too many bodies. However, it was easier than she predicted. When everybody was moving, her eyes picked out the solid points easily. The arbites leaned against a far wall, guns hanging idly by their sides. One had their visor up, chewing idly on some hive-food, murmuring something to their partner. The partner had their visor down, reflecting the market back at them, rendering them anonymous. A surge of furious, hot hate ignited in her heart, and she had to swallow it. She remembered what her leader said - her hot head would get her killed if she didn’t cool it down.

Careful not to bang her elbows against the side of the vent, she opened her backpack, removing a bundle of cloth. They unwrapped it in their hands, feeling the intoxicating weight. The gun was sleek and clean, apart from the muzzle which seemed chunkier than the rest of it put together. The energy pack slid in with only the smallest click, a tiny light flickering green to show it was ready to be used. 

On her stomach, she wiggled to the grate at the front of the vent. She had been working towards this moment for longer than she could remember. Rising Flame had found her when she had nothing, absolutely nothing, and gave her all the tools she needed to avenge her sister. She could remember her death only in the vaguest impressions - an arbiter’s gun, screaming, not being allowed to stay with the body. It had started a hatred burning in her heart that had only grown and grown with every injustice the Imperium committed and they were oh so numerous. She rested the barrel on the grate, flicking on the sight. This was a small action, to be sure. Not killing a high lord, not killing a inquisitor. But it was cutting off a finger of those institutions, sending a clear message; this would not stand. 

She took a deep breath, noticing how her hands were not shaking at all. Good. She had never felt this calm in her life. And now, it was time to fire.

Hidden Things/The Night 

The hillside seemed quiet. The chattering and chittering and hissing of the animals had faded. The rapidly darkening evening had granted a fragile peace from the hustle of the day. The locals had left their fields and returned inside to huddle by the fire, rest and sleep. 

And one by one, pairs of red lights flickered to life on the hillside. The skitarri woke up, shaking the leaves and dirt from their metal casings. They didn’t have to concern themselves with being silent. Stealth was not their objective. They were not a secret. They were looking for someone and were did not worry if he knew they were coming.

They slowly advanced down the mountainside, brushing trees aside as if they were cobwebs, not glancing back at the destruction they left in their wake. In their stone houses, the locals flinched, and pulled their blankets around them a little tighter. They knew if they were innocent they had nothing to fear. But the skitarri were strange creatures and who knew what their definition of guilty was? They had razed entire fields to find a energy pack casing, had burnt down a forest to find a few dissidents.

They walked in loose lines, no two looking entirely similar, but they were all clearly from the same pack. Some had claws that shone in the bright moonlight. Some had hoods that hid their faces deep in the recesses. Some made whirring sounds as the pistons inside them pushed them on. One in particular had a fur wrapped around it’s torso, some exotic creature coloured like ink. 

In the middle, was a Magos. And they were the worst of all, somehow, their humanity both more and less apparent. There was a savage intelligence in her eyes, but there was little mercy. If the skitarri were a pack, this was their alpha, the nucleus to their molecules. And tonight, they were hunting. 

Kingfisher

Las sat on the riverbank, trousers rolled up, feet dangling into the cool water. All was quiet, if you ignored the distant gunfire in the hills. It didn’t concern him too much. Nothing had been entirely peaceful since the Imperials came. 

This could have been paradise otherwise. The forests were full and alive, the river quick moving and populated, the winters kinder than they had any right to be. Las walked the same path through the woods he always had, the ground worn bare from hundreds of feet similar to his own.

He wasn’t sure what was going to happen now. Things had been changing, going wrong. People found dead in the woods, mauled by claws that matched no animals they knew of. The Governor's hunting becoming more and more vicious as they all pretended they didn’t know the fate of those who went missing. The planet had started to feel... wrong. It gave him a deeply unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach. Like the feeling before a storm.

But right now, he was sitting at the river, watching the birds swoop and chatter, excited by the arrival of summer, undisturbed by his presence. He wished he could stay in this moment, crystallised and untouchable. But times arrow only flew forward, and soon it would be dark.

Cal and Anoretta Go for a Walk Outside

This is what happily ever after felt like. Their bones were still aching - they had never fully recovered from the blessings of the Emperor, and they were hardly getting any younger, but they lean on each other, and their sticks, and made their way slowly to the porch. They spent most of their evenings here, side by side, petting the gyrinx that wound around their ankles.

They had made this home for themselves, carved it out with blood and tears and sacrifice. Finnesterra had waited for them, patiently, and returning to it felt like finally coming home. The first home Cal had ever really had. It felt like they could finally rest. The voice in their head had quietened, but not abandoned them completely. Cal knew they would meet again, for the final time, but that time wasn’t now. Their embrace could wait a little longer.

For now, it was time to enjoy their life. They meddled happily, they were rarely seen without Nic or Anoretta. They wore their Guardian sash at all times, never too busy to help if asked. They slept, deeply, untroubled by bad dreams. They dreamt instead of Baris, distant but safe. He had a different destiny. One which tragically, was not with them. 

But they were never hungry here, and they hadn’t held a gun in years. The stigmata in their hands had ceased bleeding some time ago, though the marks remained, unmoving. On the porch, they rested their head on Anoretta’s shoulder, reading her contentment as thought it were their own, because maybe it was. “Told you we’d retire happy.” 

Forgiveness/Trust Issues/ Disappointment

Cal kept thinking that they were supposed to be better than this. They were meant to be working past human desires and needs, becoming something better. But instead, the resentments simmered. All the tiny hurts they had ever felt did not fade away, but stuck to the inside of their ribs, mostly unnoticeable, occasionally suffocating. 

They were fundamentally petty at their core. It was a sign of their mind becoming their own again. No longer would they accept hurt from others as a matter of course, something they deserved without further examination. Their mind prickled at the small injustices rather than the grand pains.

George and Esme were the principle figures these complicated feelings revolved around. So George was hurting. It didn’t negate her microaggressions, or how she spoke to Cal, or the fear in her eyes. Her pain was regrettable but her actions were not excusable.

Then Esme, the woman that had inspired the most doubt and fear in Cal out of all the naysayers, her gentle voice worming its way into their head the most, now deciding she believed Cal. And thinking that that was alright, that things were fine now. Not to mention the bloody Grulge complication.

This is why Cal didn’t trust anyone who wasn’t hive or factory scum easily. They never realised when they were hurting, or thought moving on was the best way of healing it for all involved. Nobles had no self awareness. They’d never had to develop it.

Knights are Awesome

The two girls sat on the edge of the pier, legs dangling over, kicking in tandem. Streamers hung off every available surface, banners snapping in the wind. They knew it was a special day because they’d been given a day off work, the machines minding themselves for twelve hours. This was next to unheard of. Certainly they could never remember this happening before, but they were very young. 

Underneath them, a crowd surged and pushed on the sand, facing towards the long path of concrete that had been cleared. They weren’t strictly supposed to be up here, but they were adept climbers, and they wanted to see.

And see they did. They started small on the horizon, lost amongst the factory pipes and chimneys. But as the crowd chattered and parted, and they got closer and closer, they came into view. Machines made into a form resembling human, metal twisted into an offering to the Omnissiah. This was the closest to a titan they would ever get, and it was close enough. Their mouths hung open in awe, a thousand futures flashing through their head where they became knights together, moulding their mind to link to their machines, never once realising that this future was never meant for them. They were shut out from it, destined instead to be the oil that kept the gears turning. 

Right now though, that didn’t matter. It was enough to be close to holiness, to be a part of the system that kept these artefacts moving. They were all tools of the Machine God, even if some parts were bigger than others.

Astropath Small Talk

“I’m still not used to this.” “I’m not sure I’ll ever be used to this.” “It’s so dark.” “It’s okay. I’m right here.” “This has got to be easier for telepaths.” “Mm, only when it comes to bumping into other people. Objects are still posing a bit of a challenge. Telekinetics still have the lead on that one.” “And diviners are just cheating honestly.” “As always.” “... What do you think being in a choir is like?” “I’m not sure. I didn’t even know there were people like me.” “You didn’t have posters up about psykers?” “I grew up on a half-empty agriworld, we didn’t have posters up about anything. The whole Warp thing came as a bit of a shock to be honest.” “I think a choir might be nice. Feeling close to others.” “Not sure I want anyone in my head though.” “I’m not sure you are. I think it’s like... you occupy a different space together. Not your head but somewhere else - “ “Shhh. I can hear the hourly check in.” “Goodnight.” “Shhh.”

Thought for the Fortnight/Loyalty

His voice echoed through the hallways of the Chaser, through the dormitories and mess halls, canteens and officers, decks and bridges. It seemed to belong there, not seeming imperative or out of place. It added a presence that the Chaser had been desperately missing. Everyone had noticed it, from the lowliest rating to the arm-screws to the archivists. 

Cal had been amazed by the feeling on the ship, the comradeship, the sense of fierce pride and protection they all had for it. They weren’t sure if their isolation prevented them from seeing it on the Lord’s Confidence or if it simply just didn’t exist. But here was different, and it was at least mostly because Bridge and Nic made it different. It wasn’t just a job for so many of the people here, it was a home, a livelihood they had previously not been afforded. Sitting in the security dormitory, Cal saw crowds of people that had been given a second chance.

Cal realised that it wasn’t solely because of their righteousness that they had hung their flag to their mast. It was because of their kindness, the softness that came from not wanting other people to suffer the same as they had. They thought of Bridge’s hand on their shoulder, Nic’s arms around them, Silvestro’s steely protectiveness. It would kill Cal if they were on the opposite side to them, so they were infinitely glad they were not.

Drawings

Davian glanced over his brother’s shoulder, at the paper he was pouring over. This was yet another talent he lacked that his brother had in shed loads. Not that Sol was perfect at it, he had a long way to go to greatness, but there was a care and skill there that Davian couldn’t dream to have. 

He was sketching out the flowers blooming from the biodeck, a riot of colour and movement, the air regulation making the leaves shiver and twitch. Davian had never particularly stopped to look at it before, its practical function far outweighing its aesthetic one. But Sol had grown up in a hive. He hadn’t seen anything like it before, and he wondered at it. And through his fresh eyes, Davian shared the experience. The biodeck was no longer merely a necessity but also an indulgence, something to admire. 

A small part of him was satisfied with the idea that Sol only had this cheap imitation of plant life. He had been on an agri-planet, he had walked in open fields, seen whole forests, seen the open pink sky above them. He had that beauty cradled close to his chest and used it to affirm his own superiority. As it was his right to do.

And yet here was Sol, sketching out flowers with agonising care, trying to document the beauty he saw in gene-altered flowers on a ships biodeck. And Davian was jealous.

Bad Taste

Lance’s shoulders hit the wall, and the Commissar’s lips hit his a moment later. “This is a bad idea.” He said, discarding the iconic hat, much to Lance’s sorrow.

“Yes.” Lance agreed, nodding, his lips moving to press kisses along his shaven jaw, occasionally biting the soft skin there, leaving small red marks. He liked the idea that the next morning, the mirror would reflect the evening before. 

“I should go back to my own room.” His hands tugged on Lance’s shirt impatiently, sending a button fraying and making him laugh. He shrugged it off, revealing a torso painted with faint and not-so-faint scars. An entire history on his skin, nothing and nowhere to hide. 

“Probably.” Lance experimentally moved a hand to his belt buckle, quirking an eyebrow, asking for permission. Without hesitation, the Commissar nodded, his fingers fumbling with his own belt, clumsy in his hurry.

The next few hours passed as one would expect. Sweat, bruises, moans, desperately trying to muffle noises as the walls in this ship were not all that thin. Lance wasn’t sure if he was insulted or not, when he was getting dressed, quite how much the Commissar emphasised the need for discretion and secrecy. He wanted to believe it was because of their respective positions, no pun intended, but a niggling thought in the back of his head wouldn’t quite quit. 

The idea that it was him he was ashamed of, that his personality or his manner somehow made him a guilty pleasure. This had been somewhat of a reoccurring theme in his flings, and he was starting to get sick to the back teeth of it. He was a goddamn war hero, a member of the Inqusition, an amazing pilot and a great fuck to boot. What was it about him that was so shameful?

Whatever. It’s not like it mattered. He liked his sex casual and compartmentalised. He didn’t want a relationship, or even someone to talk to. He just wanted a body in or around him, and to lose himself for a few hours. Emotions didn’t factor into this.

Thankfully.

Murder Servitor

They could hear it still. The metal clicking. The slide of something dragging. The whirr of a blade. 

They heard it in the oddest of places. The mess hall. The security bunk rooms. Even in the corridors as they walked with their armscrew on one side and Argento on the other. Their footsteps would falter, their muscles would tense and the air would be caught inside their throat. 

Then the moment would pass, and they would realise it was nothing. A vent creaking open to release some heat, a grinding belt. Something mundane. Something safe. But their heart would still be racing and they’d be forced to smile at Argento, assure him it was nothing, nothing at all. They were doing that with a worrying amount of intensity these days. 

Sometimes, when Baris came calling for them, they’d mistake the sound of his footsteps for something more sinister. That hurt most of all. They swore to learn him by heart again, so his movements could never be mistaken for a threat, for better or worse. Mitra-Shadi was even worse, possibly because Cal always got the sense she was barely holding back from killing them anyway. 

It was almost laughable, this mundane fear, so far removed from the cosmos and the forces pushing and pulling them this way and that. So rooted in reality and the physical realm. The nightmares that came were memories, not imaginings. So Cal couldn’t quite laugh. 

Devotion

Cal wondered if mad people knew they were mad. If they could feel their sanity slipping through their fingers bit by bit, or if they were oblivious to their mind splintering apart like rotten wood. 

Cal thought sometimes they were being driven mad. Not going, no, nothing so natural or inevitable. Being driven. Inch by inch, digging their heels in every step of the way.

They couldn’t sleep. They tossed and turned, blanket tangling between their legs, cold sweat coating them in an unhealthy sheen. No matter who’s head they tuned into, what songs or stories filled their mind, how much they relaxed... The voice wouldn’t go away.

It was there, molten and golden, touching everything. All-encompassing. Deafening. Absolutely incomprehensible. The first few nights they spent on their knees, lips moving in constant prayer, begging to be told what to do, what their God wanted. No answer came, but the voice remained. 

They couldn’t sleep. And they couldn’t eat, after two weeks of restless nights, their appetite wiped away. They grew thinner, dark shadows falling under their cheekbones, their skin looking even more pale and unhealthy than their usual. Their hair was brittle and dry, their nails breaking constantly. They couldn’t recognise themselves. 

What else was there to do? They lay in bed, and they prayed. It stopped being a plea for help, it stopped being coherent. Instead Cal just talked inside their own head, for hours, every thought that came into their head, sharing their whole self with Her. She didn’t care if Cal was on their knees, or if their hands shook too much to make the right shape. She cared about the intention, and everything about Cal leaned towards Him, yearning, working, striving. 

Soon, something inside them promised. Soon. 

#prompts #Death Unto Darkness #larp #prose

[frommainetospain2020]

The Grizzly World of Mental Health

The sensitive topic that no one usually wants to talk about, myself included. But since it’s important to end the stigma associated with mental illness and also somewhat therapeutic to let it out into the open instead of bottling it inside, that’s what I’m doing. Will I regret it later? Probably.

I’m going to start this tirade by saying it. I have anxiety and depression. I’ve had it for, what I imagine to be, longer than I’ve known what it was. I was first medicated for it in the spring of 2016. When I went to Italy, the medication wasn’t really working for me the correct way anymore, so then I stopped taking it. I found myself secluding myself for a good chunk of the time I was in Italy, partly due to the lack of medication assistance, and the fact that I had a cold/flu that knocked me flat on my ass. I was then unmedicated until my first year of teaching. I went and saw a doctor because a lot of that teaching job was incredibly stressful, and was causing another spiral. So I was on a different medication from that point. Unfortunately, that one didn’t work as well, and while it made my anxiety lessen, it made my depression get worse. So, I again stopped taking it. My third attempt at anti-depressants came more recently. I can’t recall when exactly I began this, but it wasn’t tremendously long ago. I made the stupid mistake of trying to go cold turkey from the anti-depressant when I came to Spain. Big mistake.

I could say that a lot of factors could contribute to my current mental state. I’ve moved to a different country for a year, in the middle of a pandemic. I’ve had a weight loss surgery that makes me see a different person every single time I look in a mirror. I am still wearing clothes that I wore 120 lbs ago because I lack the energy to go clothes shopping. I’m working with extremely young children that can barely understand their own language, let alone mine. The old saying goes that “You are your worst critic”, and boy let me tell you, ain’t it the truth. Every time I look into a mirror, I’m ultimately disgusted with myself. “What did you do to yourself?....” I’d say to the reflection. “You’re not worthy of friends.” As harsh as it sounds, I’ve genuinely gotten used to the negativity within my mind.

Anyone that knows me well enough, knows that I’m not social. At all. I was thankful in Italy that I had a friend group that was easy to find or get a hold of. Coming to Spain, I knew that the dynamic would be different. For starters, I was in a small town in Italy, whereas I’m in the biggest city in Spain. I was taking classes with the same group of foreigners, compared to everyone within my program being scattered all around the Community of Madrid. I knew it would be different, but this is downright debilitating. Lacking the energy to even do something as simple as buying clothes that fit me, my mind expects me to be able to socialize? The only people that I talk to on a regular basis are my roommates, my landlords, and anyone at the school. Of those, the only one that is fluent in English is one of my roommates. I knew to expect culture shock and to feel out of place, but the reality of the situation was much more “othering” than I anticipated.

How did I cope? Well... if you’ve read this blog, I’m sure you could figure out the answer to that. Since I’ve had my surgery, I cannot eat NEARLY the amount of food that I could before. A majority of the things that I bake, I do so to bring me peace of mind. To make me feel productive. Useful. My mind certainly hasn’t been doing that. My roommate is usually the one who partakes in my baking ventures, but it’d be nice to be able to know more people to share it with.

With this debilitating feeling of downness and lack of energy, I decided to, yet again, attempt to get anti-depressants. I sent an email to the hospital recommended to us by our program, and told them I wanted to get back on anti-depressants. They said that I needed to see a psychiatrist, and they made me an appointment. 

When the day arrived, I went to the therapy center, but I was met with a devastating realization. Somewhere in the appointment process, someone messed up and scheduled me with a psychologist, instead of a psychiatrist. Don’t get me wrong, I need them both, but ultimately I needed to get back on antidepressants, which clearly wasn’t happening that day. A moment that struck me during my session with the psychologist was my involuntary reaction to a simple statement. After telling the psychologist my story, she said the simple phrase, “You deserve to be happy.” Friends, when I tell you I was a mess after that, it’s an understatement. I left that session in tears, both from the whole “delving into the inner psyche” thing, but also because I was probably going to have to pay for an appointment that I wasn’t intending to even have in the first place.

After leaving the session in tears, I then had to maneuver the public transit system with tears running down my face, and snot collecting under my mask. So that was a time.

I made the correct appointment, but the initial appointment I made, I rescheduled because when the day came, it was a rough day mentally and I just couldn’t. The actual appointment was yesterday. This one was less of a journey into my mind, and more like an interview. There was a masters degree student that observed the session, and it went well. I was prescribed the same medication that I had before I came to Spain, so we’ll see how this goes.

So, in closing, don’t suffer in silence. Seek help. There is help for you out there. Don’t let your mental illness own who you are.

[f-i-n-d-4]

Free (1/?)

It was cold. Wet. A young boy no older than 10 could feel every single raindrop that plipped onto his already-soaked body. An involuntary shiver shuddered up his body and he lets out a small sneeze. Of course it rains when he decides to do this, of course. Fate just always wants to make things harder than it already was for him, huh?

The boy wraps his arms around himself in a feeble attempt to keep himself warm, his draconian wings wrap around his body as well. His white dress shirt and nice black pants were now soaked and clung to his skin and he lets out a soft whine from the windy weather. His black hair was also soaking wet and he had to periodically run his hand through it to stop some of his bangs from falling over his eyes. It was cold, it was wet, and it was lonely.

Yet, he couldn’t find himself regretting his decision.

He ran through the streets, emptied due to the downpour of rain. The boy’s head constantly turned left and right as he desperately tried to find a place for shelter, but to no avail. Of course, he was in an area that he was totally foreign with; in fact, everything was really alien to him. The empty streets were filled with litter, the closed stores look dirty and in ruins, and the homes were either the smallest he’d ever seen, or the apartments he saw could barely even be considered a room, as far as he could tell from the tiny windows that were so cluttered next to each other in run-down buildings. It was so..peasant-like, yet the boy would definitely say it was better than his previous situation. 

In fact, if he wasn’t soaking wet and chilled to the bone, he might actually say this was the most fun thing he’s done in years, even if he’s only 10. But, his body wasn’t able to revel in the joy of being free and instead screamed in his head to find a place to get out of the rain. No matter how many times it screamed into his mind, however, it didn’t make it any easier. Any places with shelter were already filled with people without homes of their own or were occupied by extremely-intimidating dragons, who glared at the boy with their sharp reptilian eyes if he so much as even looked at them.

Fortunately, after quite a bit of time searching, he found a small alleyway that was shaded from the torrent rain. He breathed out a heavy sigh of relief before hurrying over to the alley, though his footsteps were a little bit more sluggish than it had been a couple minutes ago. Being in the rain for this long was starting to make him feel tired, his body starting to grow heavy from fatigue, and possibly something else?

“Oi! Was glaubst Du, was Du tun?” However, he didn’t have much time to dwell on that thought and jolted when he heard a scary voice call out to him in a foreign language, most likely German, which was a language that he was supposed to know fluently, but didn’t (he never really paid attention during German class...he was never good with learning languages and he hated how that caught up to him now). He gulped and turned around to see two teens looking down at him with glares, their hands shoved in their pockets while their rather big-looking wings twitched with annoyance.

“A-ah, u-u-um...” he stammered both from the cold and fear he felt churn within him. He had no idea how to speak fluent German, and he didn’t want to piss them off any further by speaking it in a broken way.

“Ah, Ein edel?” one of the teens looked down at his formal clothing and raised one of his eyebrows. He then smirked and cracked his knuckles. “Vielleicht sollten wir ihm eine Lektion über das Kommen in unserem Hoheitsgebiet.” He shrank at their menacing grins. He didn’t know the entirety of what he said, but he was sure that he had realized that he was a noble and that he was about to beat the shit out of him because of it. He gulped as he saw the teen raise one of his fists and wrapped his arms around his head, whimpering as he prepared himself.

“Oi! Auf jemand Ihre eigene Größe wählen!” Just as he squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the blow from the teen, however, he heard a voice, one that sounded rather immature and hadn’t hit puberty yet. Hesitantly, he opened one of his eyes and sees quite an amazing sight. A boy with black hair and ruby-red eyes that looked just as soaked as his suddenly kicked one of the teens that were trapping him right in the jaw, causing him to stumble back in shock before ultimately falling to the damp ground. 

“Begatten!” the boy cursed and held his chin, blood starting to dribble down the corner of his mouth as he glared at the boy. 

“Nur wissen Sie, mit wem Sie es zu tun haben mit, Arschloch?!” The boy could only understand bits and pieces of their German (something-something “think you’re dealing with” something something asshole...) as the other teen went to swing at the red-eyed boy, and he winces in second-hand pain as his rescuer get hit right in the chest, a pained cough being breathed out as soon as his fist hits his upper body. He watches in wonder as the red-eyed boy grit his teeth and swang his fist back at the teen, hitting him right in the cheek and causing him to be thrown back to the wall.

“Ich glaube, ich bin mit arschlöchern, Arschloch!“ the red boy spits back, rubbing his knuckles (”I am dealing with assholes, asshole[?]”). 

“Tch, let’s get out of here,” the teen who had gotten kicked in the jaw clicks his tongue and speaks in English, though the boy himself was worse with English; he couldn’t understand a single word that was said. “His noble dad is probably coming to save him.” Red eyes were given to those who were strong, powerful, or so the legend goes anyways; it was not uncommong for people with eyes of red to be from noble descent. But, the red-eyed boy narrowed his eyes and spits at them.

“You think I don’t know English? I’m not dumb,” the boy growls in rather fluent English, surprising both the teens and the boy he rescued as well (though he still couldn’t understand what he was saying). “Get the fuck out of here before I kick your asses even more.”

“Hah?!” the two teens snapped, ready to fight. However, the boy glowers at them with his glowing red eyes.

“Did I stutter?” he snarls, his voice low, which made the two teens back up a bit, intimidated by his blood-red eyes. The two teens slightly backed away from the blood-eyed boy and quickly stood up and ran off, the boy letting out a huff of disbelief before looking at the boy he had saved, who too flinched at the sight of his bright red eyes.

“D-Danke...” he nervously mutters one of the only words he knew in German. The red-eyed boy narrows his eyes.

“ 你是谁 [Who are you?]” His eyes widen to the size of plates when his rescuer suddenly switches to a language he was quite familiar with in contrast to German.

“你知道...中文 [You know...Chinese?]” he mutters, his heavy arms slowly falling to his side rather than protecting his face. The boy shrugs.

“没错。 什么是某人喜欢你这里做的吗 [That’s right. What is someone like you doing here?]” the red-eyed boy replied, cocking his eyebrows. “王公贵族的生活远了 [Nobles live far from here.]” At the mention of nobles, his eyes widen and he suddenly lurches forward, clinging onto the red-eyed boy’s shirt.

“请, 请! 不带我回,  不带我回 [Please, please! Do not take me back, do not take me back!]” the boy pleads, tears starting to well in his own orange eyes. His body starts to fall as his knees buckle, though he continues to desperately hold on to the boy’s shirt. “我不想回去, 我不想回去 [I do not want to go back, I never want to go back!]” The red-eyed boy flinches and stumbles back due to the sudden weight of the boy leaning on him for support.

“没关系, 没关系! 我明白 [Okay, okay! I understand]” he sweatdropped, trying to lift the boy up so that he wasn’t falling down, but his legs didn’t obey him and actually started to feel numb from both the cold and the sudden lack of energy he felt. Had he always been this low on energy? the boy subconsciously asked himself. He could feel the edges of his vision start to turn black as his body grew increasingly heavy.

“ 请.. 不带我回... [Please..do not take me back...]” he continues to plead, his voice starting to slur as his eyelids grew heavy. It had felt so cold and so wet for so long, so the red-eyed boy’s warmth and dryness was starting to make him drowsy. His head suddenly slumps forward and rests against the boy’s chest.

“H-hey! 有什么问题吗 [What’s wrong with you?!]” The boy could faintly hear the other stammer out as he realized that he was falling unconscious. He tried to continue clinging onto the boy’s shirt, but at some point, his grip disappeared and he could hear the air whip past his ears as his body slumped forward for a split second before the boy caught it and supported his limp body. “嘿, 你能听到我的声音吗? 嘿 [Hey, can you hear me? Hey!]”

He could, but he no longer had the power to speak anymore as his eyelids closed over his eyes, leaving his vision in darkness before he ultimately fell unconscious.

‘Please..don’t take me back....’

#{iN ThiS WoRLD ThAT iS OuRS [ic]} #{The CRySTaL WriTeS [mun writes]} #~Free~ #Part 1 #~Free: Part 1~ #//LangUAGES WhY #{ThE UpRoAriOuS DrAGoN [Drake]} #D

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 5

Hokay! Moving right along- and surprisingly I actually have a lot to dissect in this episode! (Well, mostly about a couple of key conversations). This ep is where we get introduced to the Press Society fuckers and the boys start to pick up on a base level that their monster fighting might have a bigger purpose- although most of that is glossed over in favor of focusing on the lack of privacy. 

Thanks again to those who keep commenting on/reblogging my liveblogs! I come to love this community more and more each day, it seems like. You all rock <3

THAT GODDAMN FISH I FORGOT THIS WAS WHERE HE WAS INTRODUCED

And from his first moment on screen I remember thinking he was going to be significant

And they aren’t concerned about the censoring?

Like that isn’t normal in real life, dude.

Ominous scene is ominous - I have more on this later~

Animation callout here- I could even notice Atsushi’s eyes scanning the pages here. A+ detail.

I agree En- I hate the rain with a burning passion. Makes me just want to nap. (Again- I have a strong feeling that En is my spirit animal)

Again noticing the color-coordinated cups lol- @nardaviel 8D

ATSUSHI WITH THE SASS AGAIN- similarly to Arima, why did I not notice how much fucking shade Atsushi throws (mostly towards En) the first time I watched this series? He has the best lines lol.

AND EN IS JUST LIKE ‘ORLY?’ LIKE HE ISN’T SELF-AWARE.

Not quite compliments there- but what does En say?

HE CALLS HIM “MY ATSUSHI” AND COMPLIMENTS HIS ENGLISH OMG I AM DEAD

Like... is there any doubt that they’re boyfriends at this point? Or at least getting there? Lol

Side note I just noticed that while En never wears his tie he keeps it in his jacket pocket at all times... c’mon En if you make it a point to have it on you why not just wear it?

I apologize in advance that I am basically screencapping this entire conversation but I am going to over-analyze it to death because A) My graduate degree is in English and B) Linguistics is fascinating. SO BUCKLE UP KIDS.

On this note- at first, I agreed with Io wholeheartedly that ‘naive’ and ‘sensitive’ are not considered compliments in English-speaking cultures and was a bit confused as to how they could be in Japanese.

However... then I thought about it again, and taking ‘naive’ as its definition of ‘innocent’ and ‘sensitive’ as its definition of ‘sympathetic/empathetic’, then the former can be seen as neutral, rather than an insult, and the latter can be seen as a compliment. So... culture differences are fascinating.

But definitely gut reaction is that you do not want to be called naive or sensitive in English so...

The way Ryuu says this makes me think he’s heard that phrase directed at himself on more than one occasion lol- which is probably why he brings it up.

Atsushi’s definition, however, is not one I commonly would think of when confronted with ‘naive’. It more to me means ‘childlike’ or ‘ignorant’, because ‘careless’ is a deliberate action, whereas ‘ignorant’ is simply passive. 

I have no reason for this screencap other than that I melted at Io’s English. Adorable- and I get the feeling from his pronunciation that he’s definitely got top marks in English.

Though it makes sense that he’d be pretty fluent in English due to his business transactions.

Then the fact that he pointedly directs this at Ryuu is hysterical for other reasons.

Well, Ryuu, you kind of had it written all over your face when you brought it up that you were thinking of a phrase that had been directed at you~

Love Io’s sutble teasing here, too haha. Look at his face.

Ryuu is so earnest in his defense of himself lol

But the word he chooses here- ‘guileless’- is interesting because when I went to the dictionary page for ‘naive’, ‘guileless’ is one of the synonyms

So they’re all basically meaning the same thing here, however- ‘guileless’ has a more direct definition of ‘honest, sincere, & straightforward’, which does describe Ryuu pretty well.

His demeanor in this entire scene as an example, and the phone call with a potential girlfriend we hear later (which is hilarious for other reasons) definitely contains that tone.

And Io continues with his gentle ribbing lol

The camera cuts away before we see Ryuu’s reaction but I would imagine he pouted at Io after that

In general, aside from the language discussion this scene just shows how the boys interact with one another beautifully and asdfgjlskjf;lkj they’re all so cute

En you just keep setting yourself up for Atsushi’s shade lol

Ummm Yumoto you okay?

That is not convincing me that you are okay at ALL

I LOVE THE PEANUTS REFERENCE

Smol fluffy child stop being creepy you are molesting an innocent creature

Like seriously I don’t care how cute you and Wombat look here it’s UNSETTLING

Yumoto says ‘feel so fine’ in English- but this one I’m stumped. I haven’t heard that used as a phrase, before. I mean, I get his meaning... does he perhaps mean to say “that feel good feeling?” Idk... I guess it can be said multiple ways but that particular phrasing seems weird to me

MOLDY TEACHER

Uhhhh I don’t think it works that way, Wombat

Psssssh En just gave Wombat the ultimate diss- you almost feel sorry for the poor pink creature

Side note- Press kids are creepy as hell

And then they don’t give a shit when Wombat falls THREE STORIES- or is it 5 stories?

Io how do you have such a calm face saying that- Atsushi looks like he’s about to shit himself with panic

No explanation other than their expressions are hilarious- NOW Io looks panicked

From their first like 3 seconds onscreen I immediately hated these assholes. Well, I suppose the smol asshole. The other one is just... there.

Also, how the fuck did they get up to the club room so fast from taking pictures down below just moments before???

Binan’s website is sophisticated as all get out like whoah

From this monologue, I get a couple of things;

1) Kinosaki’s hair is stupid

2) I feel like his true calling was drama club but he got stuck with newspaper/website instead

3) He just REALLY rubs you the wrong way with how he talks out of his ass like that- it makes me wonder exactly how much they know ahead of time about the DC

Like, if I remember right, it’s revealed later that they knew about them (because the fucking fish- Hireashi- is apparently their club mascot???)

But it isn’t clear at this point if they actually know their identities, or if Hireashi just told them about CIDE2 but didn’t tell them right away about the DC’s identities and Kinosaki just kind of deduced on his own that they should probably investigate the club that does nothing because they’re kind of suspicious now that this cosplay group thing has shown up

...but I suppose it makes more sense in hindsight that they’re in on the entire thing and they’re just trying to see how the DC react- their real purpose here instead of getting a story is getting better ratings for CIDE2

Regardless-

I agree, Yumoto

En once again picking on Yumoto.

Sometimes I get the impression En’s just doing it in a teasing, good-natured way and then at the same time I get the impression that En just barely tolerates Yumoto in the earlier episodes.

Hm. I can’t tell.

I wonder if this line is just more bullshitting on Kinosaki’s part or if he’s actually hinting at something here.

And now I can’t tell if Kinosaki just simply DOESN’T NOTICE Tawarayama is technically DEAD or he KNOWS because of the stupid fish and is blatantly ignoring it just to see how far the DC will go to get him the fuck out of there lol

Either way, he’s succeeding in freaking them out

Evil reporter is evil (THOSE EYEEEEEES)

I love their expressions here- and then the way they all look at one another, expecting someone to come up with a plan to get the annoyances out of there

Like idk it’s super cute how Ryuu and Io look at one another and then En and Atsushi look between each other and Yumoto and Yumoto just looks up at his senpais like “ummm”

And it definitely WOULD be Io who’s the one to come up with some loopholes or a ‘logical’ point about press responsibility in an effort to scare Kinosaki off

I have a feeling he’s well versed in these things because business

I sometimes have a hard time remembering he’s like 16/17- he acts MUCH older than all of the others.

Not quite sure what he’s implying here- though it’s definitely an interesting line if you take into account that he likely knows all about the DC and their true identities as the Battle Lovers

Perhaps he’s alluding to the fact that they should use their interviews with him to make themselves look better to CIDE2′s audience, which would be really interesting because potentially he’s operating under the assumption that the DC know they’re being filmed. Which is plausible because Hireashi could have told them anything.

Or on a more local level, it could be him wanting the DC to take him up on his offer to improve their position in the school (although I get the impression that some of them are already pretty popular as is? Ryuu definitely but potentially En as well)

Maybe he has heard rumblings of the conflict between Atsushi and Kinshirou and knows that the DC is on thin ice with their status as a club so he’s offering them a favor to make Kinshirou hate them less?

Oooh looking at him from these angles he’s a bit more likeable as a character

But this is all still speculation so I most probably am wrong.

En goes from adorable to annnoyed in .2 seconds flat lol

Snerk- he points out so easily that En an Atsushi are always together.

Everyone knows they’re boyfriendssssss

This conversation is a bit telling- definitely a lot more so than when I first watched it.

En doesn’t like talking about himself. He says as much in his next line, although it’s a bit sutble;

Give me some questions that are easier to answer.

I can read this scene as En nearly admitting that he doesn’t find himself remarkable- or he’d have to think about it a little harder if Kinosaki wanted a better answer. 

Talking about himself doesn’t come naturally- he doesn’t think of himself as anything special, or he has a hard time thinking about what does make him special.

Talk about a pointed question

Io just ignores him lol

Though that’s a bit on the nose. Io definitely finds the whole Battle Lover thing bothersome

Although that contradicts my headcanon that Io is secretly super into it even though he isn’t at first lolol

Money is SRZBZ

RYUU I HAVE A FEELING THAT’S NOT HOW YOU FLIRT WITH GIRLS

Though there is his self-described ‘guilelessness’ lol

Guys... stahp

Fffffffft RYUU WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE A VIBRATOR

I’m sorry I can’t picture anything else that he could possibly be talking about. Nope. Can’t do it. My mind is trash.

Though I have to say this is probably some of the worst foreshadowing. It was like the writers were like ‘shit we’re halfway through the episode and we haven’t foreshadowed what the monster is going to be here let’s let Ryuu talk about it suggestively’

Upset Pink isn’t getting laid tonight

Meanwhile Atsushi is still trying to rival Arima to be the Sass Master

I can’t with Tarawayama and Wombat it’s so silly

And all the kids have just ACCEPTED that their teacher now carries around a pink plush wombat that sort of seems alive all the time

Yumoto bby that’s not how you get to college...

WHAT THE FUCK GUYS THAT’S SO CREEPY

AND NO ONE EVEN NOTICES

That was the quickest exposition for a loveless character

Like seriously, 2 lines, a Zundar Needle and a sassy line from the CC

At least they all realize it’s just Kurosaki who is annoying. Tazawa just snaps pics in the background.

Wombat has spent too much time on Tumblr. I’m sorry I had to

Wombat’s Kansai accent cracks me up

So basically you’re admitting that Tawarayama is dead-dead and your ‘technology’ isn’t doing much?

WOMBAT! Is that anything to say to the character who’s mother is mysteriously absent? <.<

Nice callbacks!

NAKED HANG OUT

Tho why the fuck does he have a camera in the onsen?? INVASION OF PRIVACY MUCH?

SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE HE’S DEAD

Wombat’s pissed and firing back the nonverbal sass at Atsushi

Another line supporting the “Press society knows too much” idea- it’s as if he was clued in on what to listen for~

Wombat’s little anxious dance is like wtf

I like how imaginary Yumoto is covering his shorts all ashamed lol

Is this Yandare simulator?

No srz tho Yumoto is savage af and everybody’s like “WTF”

Self aware “we are in an anime” joke featuring genre/time period awareness

I think someone on staff just really wanted to draw Ryuu like that lol

About here is where I realized I really liked Tazawa’s design- his ponytail is super cute

Yumoto is a very convincing actor in a pinch

Attempt at badass poses isn’t very effective when you all are naked

Side note I just realized they all tie their towels in the same manner- is that a cultural thing or are they all simply right or left handed???

Or is it just a lazy animation thing? hahaha

I swear Tazawa only has like 3 lines but he’s adorable AF

Also... he’s got a point

Ryuu does have a point

Because how else will we know that we’re true magical boys???

Okay, so I’m not a huge fan of the ‘remote control monster’. But I suppose its symbolism is twofold;

1) It directly represents the micro-conflict of the episode, the DC having their image controlled by the Press Society

2) It leads the way for the DC to put two and two together and realize that the monsters are being controlled by someone (although I feel like that’s obvious because they’ve been... y’know... members of their school spontaneously turned into monsters? Like that doesn’t just happen)

Idk tho I wish we’d gotten a smidgen more about this student; but I suppose the actual conflict is the one going on with the DC

This line made me giggle hysterically but I just realized how big of a culture gap there is because I have never even SEEN a bidet toilet. The quick google search I ran indicates they’re fairly common in Europe/Asia? Like WTF America you’d think we’d be more hygienic.

I love when they use physical violence lol it makes it more serious

It also serves a dual purpose in knocking annoying monsters down a couple pegs

ONE HIT KO

Srz though Yumoto that was epic

Though there definitely wasn’t much of a point for the others to be there which I know is a stab at the typical magical girl genre trope of the main character being OP’d but on the other hand that’s so frustrating that this happens ALL THE TIME

Like once is funny, the entire series playing it as a running gag is old

Though I wonder if we timed all of the monster encounters in this show if this one would be one of the shortest lol

But seriously though... this show HINTS at being a much deeper magical boy show and then it just subverts everything by having Yumoto be OP and they talk their way out of ridiculous, potentially DANGEROUS situations

Like exhibit A)

Like this COULD BE REALLY SCARY. Cliche remote control monster with the ability to control real people!

He could have ALL the battle lovers fight one another! Or like what’s hinted at happening- have Yumoto do the love attack on his friends!

Like it’s not outside the realm of possibility for Yumoto to fire a shot at the others. They could have dodged, and having him resist the control is a great tension device, but then-

DEUS EX WOMBAT

Like... so disappointing. Boueibu your narrative needs to go up a notch.

And this is where my crunchyroll app fucked up and couldn’t buffer anything over 240p long enough to take screencaps, so I’ll just summarize the last couple of points;

The monster before it turns back into the student is self-aware enough to exclaim that he was being controlled by someone else’s will- which is enough for the DC to pick up on the fact that the monsters are being controlled. I mentioned it earlier but I suppose it bears repeating that these poor boys aren’t necessarily too bright lol- or they just aren’t thinking too hard about the surreal monster thing.

The scene back at the onsen doesn’t have much- I just thought it was funny that Kinosaki was scared of Gora with his giant axe.

Kinshirou’s typical arrogance was typical; a bit more of his irritation towards anything having to do with Atsushi’s new crew but nothing major here with their characters.

And then the last scene- Kinosaki’s line about ‘our initial report went well, huh?’ and then the shot of Hireashi is an example of foreshadowing DONE WELL and not played for laughs. That definitely confirms that those two are in on the whole CIDE2 thing and are acting as agents for the TV network. Makes me wonder how THAT conversation happened- like those two probably would have been WTFing over a TALKING FISH.

But anyway! Another episode that’s a bit deeper with character development than at first meets the eye, and disappointing shades of what could have been a magical boy show that played at the tropes but ultimately subverted them. Sigh. I suppose this is what fanfic is for... and thusly I continue my research gathering!

#cupkayke rewatches boueibu #cupkaykey rewatches boueibu #boueibu #boueibu meta #binan koukou chikyuu bouei bu love! #binan kōkō chikyū bōei bu love! #binan high school earth defense club love! #Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu LOVE! #Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!

[bigtinyworldtravel]

Judging by picture-perfect, colorful squares on Instagram, the freedom of a travel lifestyle is presented as paradise – an endless parade of tropical breezes and fruity drinks, interspersed with exciting adventures that would make anyone envious.  While travel is, indeed, amazing and life-changing and exhilarating and rewarding, social media paints an incomplete picture.

We have learned firsthand what living the life of travel entails.  If you’re wondering if full-time travel is right for you – and if you’re ready for what actually awaits – here is what you can expect.

You will be out of your comfort zone

Whether you travel across the country or around the globe, the environment will be very different from what you’re used to.  You won’t have the comfort of your own bed, the convenience of your familiar beauty products, or the nostalgia of your favorite foods.  Kitchens won’t have the same appliances to which you’re accustomed, you might need to suffer cold showers, and depending on where you go, you’ll have to break the habit of flushing toilet paper.

Your phone won’t work the same way – if it works at all – and you’ll learn how much you’ve taken simple phone number dialing for granted.  And good luck if you need to print anything (boarding passes, visas, tickets, etc.).

People will likely speak differently, even if they are fluent in your native language.  Words with which you’re familiar could get buried in thick accents and local idioms.  You might offend someone without even realizing it.  I know we have on more than one occasion.

You will grow in ways you never expected

People so beautifully different from you will teach you things you never knew you never knew.  You will learn new was to use your own language, and your communication skills will expand exponentially.  You will learn bits and pieces of other languages.  Stay long enough and apply yourself, and you could become fluent.

You will grow to love brand new ideas and gadgets from around the world, and you will adopt some of them into your own life and later wonder how you ever lived without them.

You will be come a problem solving master, and you will become stronger than you ever were before, having survived any number of unanticipated mishaps.  This will make you a natural leader, as you’ll have the confidence of experience and the compassion of wanting to protect others from the worst of it.

You will learn how little you actually need, and you’ll grow to appreciate the freedom of minimalism.

The actual traveling can kind of suck

Buses and ferries and planes, oh my!  Oh, and tuk tuks and cars and trains and rickshaws and scooters and bikes and taxis and good ‘ole fashioned walking!  If you travel long enough, you’ll experience all of these (and more).

Travel days can be long and miserable, and they don’t always go smoothly.  We saw cancelled flights (sometimes the morning of), and our barely touching Scotland consisted of a bus on windy roads with a pair of puking kids (trust me: not fun).  We experienced long layovers, missed buses, wrong train stations, and even standing in the pouring rain at a bus door with insufficient fare in the correct currency – all with 50 lbs of carry-on luggage strapped to our front and back.

Even when the travel is uneventful, it’s exhausting, which is why we try to limit it or break it up as much as we can.

Nothing can compare to the thrill of stepping foot in a new place

But when we finally get there?  I have the word, “strikhedonia” engraved into my travel ring for a reason.  It means, “the love of striking out for a new destination,” and I certainly have that – bad.

When you stay in one place for long enough, you’ll find it begins to feel a bit like home.  The longer you stay, the harder it’ll be to leave.  But if you love travel as much as we do, then you know there’s no joy quite like the excitement of planning for and arriving in a new destination.  So, much as we might sometimes dread the actual traveling, there are far too many new and enticing places to remain stationary for long.

You will long for your favorite foods

Aaron called this dish “kitty litter”

Do you love fresh veggies?  Good luck getting those in the desert of Namibia.  Addicted to bacon?  You won’t find that in Muslim countries.  And don’t expect to find much dairy in Southeast Asia (sorry, cheese lovers!).

We naturally couldn’t eat as healthily as we were used to (especially when tempted by local dishes), and we got very tired of rice with every meal (but it was easy and cheap wherever we went!).  I had an absolute devil of a time trying to find dark chocolate anywhere in South America (though milk chocolate was readily available), and sorry, Europeans… you could use a lesson in what hot sauce actually is (hint: not slightly spicy ketchup).  But I think I was most surprised by my cravings for kombucha on the road (which probably explains why I drank about a gallon of it upon our arrival back home).

Each country has its limitations, and it was a (not-so-)fun exercise to figure out what our meals would look like upon each relocation.

You will discover new tantalizing cuisines

But once you figure out what that exotic fruit actually is (and how to eat it), you won’t be able to stop!  You will find spice combinations you can’t even identify, and the flavors will dance on your tastebuds and haunt your dreams as soon as you leave.

We absolutely love to eat, so we were excited to try all the local delicacies (though I don’t think I’d be brave enough to try bugs or scorpions or 100-year-old eggs).  I couldn’t get enough of Turkish meatballs, and we had more Croatian fritule (fritters) than I’d care to admit.  Italian lasagna, British fish ‘n chips, Argentinian empanadas, Namibian oryx steak….. my stomach is grumbling just thinking of it all!

And you can bring some of these recipes home with you to expand your own meal plans, letting the exotic tastes bring you back to your favorite countries without even leaving your kitchen.

Not everything will be as you expect

Tourism boards put every location in its best light to attract more visitors.  The truth is you’re very unlikely to see that temple without a horde of screaming kids or that famous palace with the jaw-dropping sunset colors.

Everyone always raved about Amsterdam (they still do).  But we just weren’t that impressed.  It was crowded and just not as charming as Rotterdam or Delft.

We were excited to spend the holidays in Switzerland (c’mon.. Christmas and snow with that gorgeous scenery??), only to find out we miscalculated how far from the mountains the town of Basel really is.

The spires of Torres Del Paine is arguably THE reason we were determined to visit Patagonia.  However, after a grueling hike, we arrived at a crowded glacial lake with dreary clouds obscuring the peaks.  The lack of clear weather put a literal damper on the otherwise beautiful location.

If you set your expectations too high, some places are simply bound to disappoint.

Other moments will completely blow you away

Sure, Dublin was a rainy mess the entire time we were there, but the Irish pubs were exactly what we wanted, and we had far more fun than we expected!  I simply couldn’t get enough of the Zadar sea organ – something I didn’t even know existed until we arrived.  Omis was insanely beautiful, and it wasn’t even on our itinerary.

We had a sick kitty during a housesit in Montenegro, but we were thrilled to find the Kotor fortress was completely free of charge during our visit (yay, off-season!).  We got the most incredible leopard encounter in Namibia.  And we were left speechless with the sheer beauty of Fitz Roy after the somewhat lackluster Torres.

We live for these moments, and with time, they will be the ones you ultimately remember.

Something will go wrong

Word to the wise: do not attempt to plan out every detail of your travels.  That is a recipe for disaster, as something will stray from your plans, derailing everything else you had lined up.

Aaron cataloging his stolen gear replacements

A park you want to visit might be closed the one day you’re in town.  A strap of your pack could break.  Lodging could fall through.  Your bus might never show up.

We began our travels by being robbed, and we ended them amidst a pandemic.  We certainly never planned for those things to happen.  The robbery almost stopped our travels before they truly began, and the virus almost kept us abroad unwillingly.

In the end, flexibility is paramount; it’s the only thing that kept us sane.

You will accrue the most fascinating stories

We’ve obviously been through a lot, but it sure makes for some amazing conversation!  While we were stressed and afraid and miserable in those situations as they were happening, we love to regale our battles to our friends (and you!) in the hopes that they find a lesson in them and avoid them, themselves.

These hardships will inevitably make you stronger, but they’ll also make you more interesting.  We were always drawn to those who possessed epic tales; now we’re finding others are drawn to us.

You will miss your friends and family

I hate to be the one to break it to you: life goes on without you.  Babies are born, people get married, barbecues and birthdays and holidays all keep happening.  You will miss some milestones, and you will miss those closest to you.

We had to skip our favorite anime convention (yeah, we’re geeks).  We missed countless hikes with our photo friends.  And for the first time ever, I missed Christmas with my family.

But we also dearly missed our kitties.  I’m so attached to them that I have crocheted tiny replicas to travel with us.  And with an 18-year-old cat, we ran the very real risk of never seeing her again.  Unfortunately, Skype just doesn’t replace purrs and nighttime cuddles.

You will meet incredible new friends

Fortunately, the world is a very large place, full of seven billion people – seven billion opportunities to make new friends.  And leaving those with whom you are familiar will force you to fill that void with exciting new personalities, and you’ll never be lonely.

Some will barely touch your life – someone who’s there for only an instant and is quickly forgotten.  Others will become the new best friend you never knew you were missing.  You will influence and inspire those you meet, and those ripples will have a profound effect not only on those they know but also back on you.

A bartender in Chile.  A tour guide in Germany.  A pair of travel bloggers in Montenegro.  A reader in the UK.  A couple in the Netherlands.  A family in Namibia.  A couchsurfer in Ireland.  A dog owner in Italy.  We are forever changed because of them and so many others.

You will internalize in a way you never thought possible the fact that we are all human at heart.  You will embrace the unique, and you will realize that those who have the least tend to be the most giving.  You will never forget their kindness, and you will become a better person because of it.

You will get sick

Chances are, you’ve already experienced getting sick while on vacation.  We don’t let ourselves fall ill when we have so much to do, so we sometimes crash as soon as we hop a plane and let our defenses down.  Traveling longer only stacks the odds against you.

And let’s face it… You will be exposed to so many new environments so quickly, it’s only a matter of time before some new bug takes you down.  Unless you were a military brat and/or ate Cheerios off the dining room floor as a kid (guilty), you probably don’t have an ironclad immune system.  And if an airborne bug doesn’t do it, just wait until you meet Dehli Belly!

It will force you to slow down

If you travel anything like us, you want to pack as much as you possibly can into every moment.  It’s so difficult to justify taking a break, because: when’s the next time you’ll be there?

But rest is just as important as adventure.

Slowing down lets you take in elements of a place you might otherwise miss entirely.  Besides, longterm travel is a marathon – not a sprint!

You will get tired of traveling

The old adage says, “everything in moderation; too much of a good thing is bad.”  No matter how much you love it, you will find days when you’re simply tired of traveling.  You’ll long for the stability and comfort of your own bed and home, and you’ll want to just be done for a bit.

Slowing down and resting certainly helps in this department (see above), but every so often, even that won’t be enough.  Try to maintain routines when you can, and work in “vacations” back home.

It will all be worth it

Travel is exciting, and it will forever change you.  Sure, it might be uncomfortable sometimes, but you will look back on the memories and know you’ve truly lived.  Perhaps you’ll go crazy being deprived of your favorite caramel lattes and bacon burgers, but the photos will remind you how incredible your life is.  You will build unforgettable relationships, and you’ll be able to tackle so many more hurdles life throws at you in the future with ease.

You’ll know you’ve lived your best life, and you’d never want it any other way.

What harsh realities have you learned while traveling?

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  Are You Prepared to be a Full-time Traveler? - #Fulltimetravel isn't all cocktails on the beach and exciting adventures. Sometimes it sucks. If you're considering it, know the truth before you dive in. #bigtinyworld #honesttruth Judging by picture-perfect, colorful squares on Instagram, the freedom of a travel lifestyle is presented as paradise - an endless parade of tropical breezes and fruity drinks, interspersed with exciting adventures that would make anyone envious. 

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[biofunmy]

One Of Afghanistan’s First Women Air Force Pilots Is Living In Exile In Florida

TAMPA, Florida — Sitting outside a sidewalk café on the waterfront in Tampa, a light breeze making for one of those perfect fall afternoons, is a feminist icon.

You might not recognize her — and the tourists eating ice cream and skateboarding kids certainly didn’t — but Niloofar Rahmani is one of the best-known Afghan women in the world.

That’s because Rahmani, 28, shot to fame in 2013 after she became the first woman to pilot a fixed-wing jet in Afghanistan’s air force. Photographs of her in dark aviator sunglasses, with a scarf loosely covering her black hair, went viral across the world. Look at what the women of Afghanistan can do, the pictures seemed to scream.

Niloofar Rahmani, 23, Afghanistan’s first female pilot to serve in the air force since the fall of the Taliban.

08:39 AM – 14 Apr 2015

For Rahmani, it should have been a time of triumph. After all, she had dreamed of flying a plane since she was a little girl — however impossible that might have seemed to a young woman growing up in a conservative society.

But in the years since, her dreams have all but fallen apart. She has been accused of desertion, of acting improperly for an Afghan woman, and she and her family have received hundreds of death threats — some from anonymous trolls, some even from members of her own extended family. As Rahmani became more successful as a pilot and more famous, the threats against her multiplied until her life in Afghanistan became unbearable.

Rahmani’s family has been forced to move again and again, leaving behind the house in the capital, Kabul, that her family had lived in for generations. Her father lost his job because his employer saw the threats as a liability; her siblings couldn’t find work. Rahmani ended up having to cover her face with a niqab just to leave the house.

After years of living in hiding with her family, Rahmani — who prided herself on never giving a damn what anyone thought of her — did something she never believed she’d have to do: She fled.

Rahmani’s story is a testament to the cost born by the women in Afghanistan whom the West has elevated as feminist heroes. As the US negotiates with the Taliban in hopes of a peace deal, women’s rights have been largely ignored, and women across the country face an uncertain future.

It’s not as if Rahmani ever really wanted to become a feminist hero — she just wanted to be a pilot. Now, she believes her only path forward lies in the US, where she sits in administrative limbo waiting for her life to begin again.

Eve Edelheit for BuzzFeed News

When the US invaded Afghanistan and ousted the Taliban from control in 2001, it ushered in a period of tentative hope for women, who were able to recapture some of their most basic freedoms, like going to school and joining the civil service. But those gains came at a heavy price. Women leaders in the country routinely endure attempts on their lives, death threats, and more.

Rahmani is no exception.

Sitting beside her sister at the café in Tampa last month, Rahmani wore her long hair loose and a black floral dress. Most of her face was covered — by a big pair of sunglasses, even if they weren’t the aviators she’d like to be wearing right now.

Rahmani has been living in Tampa since the US granted her asylum in 2018, while her sister Afsoon is still seeking asylum. Rahmani said she might be safe now, but it’s a hollow feeling. No longer able to fly, she works as a translator between the three languages in which she is fluent: Farsi, Dari, and English.

Rahmani dreams of flying planes again; this time for the US Air Force. To do that, she would have to become a citizen first, and, as it’s unclear how long that might take, she worries that her skills will decline in the meantime.

More importantly, her parents and most of her siblings remain in South Asia. (Rahmani wouldn’t say exactly where, out of fear for their safety.) Their support for her has never wavered, but because of the constant barrage of threats and violence, they’re still scared for their lives.

“It never goes away. Ever,” said Rahmani. “I thank God that I am safe, but always, half of my mind is still thinking about them.”

“My path, since I was born, has been difficult,” she said. “Kids here have so much. I never had that kind of freedom. I never got the chance to feel like one of those kids.”

Rahmani talked about the state of women’s rights in Afghanistan, bouncing from an explanation of social movements through the country’s history to interpretations of the Qur’an. Her arguments, which she makes eloquently in English, her third language, barely conceal the anger of a woman who has spent her entire life being underestimated.

But still she occasionally wondered if she was somehow at fault for what has happened to her and her family.

“Sometimes I doubt myself … I wonder if I did something wrong. Did I deserve to be treated that way?”

Eve Edelheit for BuzzFeed News

Rahmani was the first woman fixed-wing pilot in the Afghan air force.

Rahmani was born in the midst of a civil war in the 1990s. The day her mother went into labor, she said, the building beside her family’s house in Kabul was bombed. There was no way to get to the hospital, so she was born at home.

Shortly after, the family fled to Pakistan. Rahmani came to learn about her home country through her parents’ stories of the ‘70s, when many women had relatively more freedom to dress the way they wanted and participate in public life. Her father grew up hearing Russian jets flying through the skies above his city. He had dreamed of being a pilot, but when he was young, he lacked money to bribe his way into a coveted job in the air force. Instead, he became a civil engineer. But he taught his children about planes and the way they worked.

In 2000 — the last full year of Taliban rule before the US invasion — Rahmani’s family returned to Kabul. She saw a country she couldn’t recognize from her father’s stories. Hardly any women could be seen walking the streets. One day her sister fell sick and had to see a doctor. Her mother tried to take her, but she forgot to put on socks under her sandals. An officer from the Taliban’s notorious religious police caught and beat her.

“When she came home, my mom was bleeding all across her feet,” Rahmani said. “I felt that this is not my country.”

The Taliban forbade girls from attending school, so Rahmani’s parents taught the children at home. When the US invaded, she heard the same sounds her father grew up with as a boy, but this time it was the roar of US jets. Rahmani, who was 9 at the time, knew she should have been afraid, but she wasn’t.

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off the sky,” she said. “I had never been on a plane. I was so excited by the arc of the jet trails, the noise they made.”

Standing on the same balcony her father had once stood on as a boy, she watched them soar through the sky.

Shah Marai / Getty Images

Rahmani in Kabul when she was 23.

In 2010, when Rahmani was 18, she went to apply for officer training school in Kabul. Even applying was bold, but she wasn’t thinking about gender equality. Mostly, she was thinking about flying planes.

It didn’t exactly go smoothly.

The Afghan air force’s doctors tried multiple times to deem her physically unfit to fly, she said, but eventually she was accepted into the officer training program. She was the only female pilot candidate, and said she was belittled endlessly. There wasn’t even a women’s bathroom. “The men treated me like I would fail,” she said. “I was just 18 at the time. I tried to ignore it.”

She had no choice, she said, but to be twice as good as her male classmates, getting up extra early to study and ignoring their taunts.

“They always told me I’d fail because I am a woman, and because I am weak I would crash the plane and kill myself,” she said.

When she doubted herself, she’d call her father, who had always supported her.

The hard work ultimately paid off: She was one of only ten in her class selected to become fixed-wing pilots.

The night before her first solo flight, she was too excited to sleep, her heart pounding in her chest. When she got into the cockpit and felt the wheels lift off the ground, it was as if the weight on her chest had lifted too.

“I felt like nobody could reach me up there. Like I was on Mars,” she said.

Most of the other men on the base, she thought, had hoped she would fail. She had proven them wrong.

Rahmani’s flight made headlines and her accomplishment was hailed in the US as evidence of progress for the country’s women, and photos of her flew around the world. She remembers feeling “amazing” and powerful.

Other pictures of Rahmani started to show up on Facebook and Twitter. Some were taken out of context — like a photo that showed two US Air Force women throwing her in a pool of water. It depicted an international tradition after a pilot’s first flight but was a portrayal of an Afghan woman that many considered improper. Some speculated online that it could have been a man who had dunked her, or that she was being baptized by Christians.

Overnight, she became a public figure. The praise bolstered her, as did the thought that her fame might spur on other young girls to become pilots. She took time out to speak to girls in elementary schools about her career, wearing her uniform.

“I’m proud of that,” she said. “They’d say, ‘Oh, I saw you on TV.’”

But things soon took a dark turn. Her brother was shot at twice by militants in Kabul. The first time he escaped unharmed, but the next time he wasn’t so lucky and ended up in the hospital. From 2013, her family started receiving so many death threats that they had to move from house to house, once moving three times in a month. Rahmani stopped being able to buy vegetables at the market without attracting attention.

People would call every day to make threats — some were strangers, and others were people the family knew well. A letter arrived that bore a Taliban stamp. It said simply, “We know where you live.”

The Afghan air force did nothing to help her, Rahmani said, telling her she could quit if things were really so difficult.

But she still loved the job itself. On one mission, she saved a man’s life by flying him from the remote northern province of Kunduz to a hospital in Kabul; on another, she transported the bodies of Afghan soldiers so they could receive a proper burial. In 2015, she traveled to the US to receive an International Women of Courage Award presented by Michelle Obama, sparking another wave of press. When she returned home, her superiors didn’t even acknowledge it, she said.

“When I went home, it was like nothing had happened,” she said. “It felt like nobody had even noticed what I had achieved.”

From the outside, Rahmani’s life looked perfect — a story about a woman who had defied the odds and triumphed over patriarchy. But Rahmani felt crushed. She had gotten recognition from the White House, but her own colleagues treated her as if she were anonymous — or worse, with open contempt. She remembers these days as some of the hardest of her life.

“We tried to support Niloo, but inside we were scared too. It was hard in a different way for each of us,” said her sister Afsoon, who now lives with her in Tampa and spent years in hiding in Kabul along with the rest of the family.

In 2017, Rahmani traveled to the US for a yearlong training program for military pilots from around the world. It was a welcome break — she worked for months to earn the certification to fly a C-130, a military transport aircraft that can serve a variety of purposes.

The day she got her certificate, she called home. The sound of her father’s voice told her something was wrong.

“When can I come home?” she asked him.

Her father, who had supported her through so many years of pain and striving, sounded defeated for the first time. The family was going back to Pakistan. “I can’t live like this anymore,” he said.

“That was the moment I gave up on my career,” Rahmani said. “That was the moment I quit.”

That night, she cried herself to sleep.

Eve Edelheit for BuzzFeed News

Rahmani was granted asylum in the US after about a year of waiting — a process that was likely sped up because of her fame, said her lawyer, Kimberley Motley.

It wasn’t without its bumps though.

Soon after Rahmani filed for asylum in the US, she remembers a particularly humiliating moment when a US government bureaucrat made fun of her for not having a birth certificate. She didn’t have one, she pointed out, because she was born at home in the middle of a war, not in a hospital.

Afsoon had to flee her country for the same reason as Rahmani, but her asylum-seeking process may be longer, Motley said, because she isn’t a public figure.

The sisters have hardly a negative word to say about their adopted homeland. Afsoon’s Instagram — which she uses under a pseudonym — is full of snaps of the ocean and the Jet Skis they sometimes rent for fun. (“I love anything that goes fast,” Rahmani joked.) But Florida feels isolated compared to Kabul — you have to drive to get anywhere. And their status in the US still feels shaky.

Motley, a well-known defense attorney who has extensive experience practicing in Afghanistan, said she’d repeatedly requested that US immigration authorities expedite Rahmani’s citizenship — something they have the power to do — but has received no response.

Rahmani’s fame had been a double-edged sword, according to Motley.

“I’ve just seen so many women oppressed in Afghanistan who don’t get media attention, who are military personnel or police officers, and it’s a real struggle for them, even more so in some ways,” she said.

Rahmani is quick to say she does not blame the media attention or her supporters on social media for what happened to her — rather, she blames the people who came after her family and the Afghan military, which told the New York Times she shouldn’t receive asylum and accused her of lying about being threatened.

More than flying, now, she thinks about her father and the rest of the family she left behind. She and her sister hope to someday bring them to safety in the US.

“I feel like my life is on hold right now. I have to start from zero,” Rahmani said. “In truth I have felt alone for most of this time. I don’t want to die losing my dream for the future.” ●

Opening image: Shah Marai / AFP via Getty Images

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[mcnairsocialjustice-blog]

February 7:

What is privilege?

           Privilege refers to the benefits one receives solely based on the circumstances of your birth, wealth, culture, race, gender, or sexual orientation. It has no correlation to talent or effort you have or have put into any given action or enterprise.

           Privilege is about how society accommodates you. It’s about advantages you have that you think are normal, while others are different due to their lack of the same accommodations.

Do you agree with this article?

           Of course. I find it irrefutable that no one can be blamed for their own privilege. I will never apologize for being privileged, it is simply the way I am. At the same time however, I will not bare any delusions as to my perception of my own privilege; I always admit I am privileged, and it will not be my shortcoming should I offend someone.

Entry # 1.2: Statements and responses

Statement

My Reaction

The death penalty must be  brought back because murderers should not be allowed to live. Many prisoners live better lives in prison than they did as free individuals.

As much credence as there  appears to be to the notion that one should have their life taken if they  take others’, it is clear that the discrepancy in prison is in their idiotic  perpetuation of jail being punishment over rehabilitation. In countries such  as Norway or Sweden, their practice of rehabilitating prisoners rather than  punishing them gives them some of the lowest rates of recidivism. People  accused on grounds of murder are even allowed to use knives and cook for  themselves! The death penalty should never be an option, it is simply not plausible that someone can only be reprimanded accordingly by the ultimate punishment.

It’s okay to practice your own  culture within reason, but when you come to Canada you should be prepared to act Canadian.

I  agree only to the extent of: people that come to Canada should make an effort  to learn English or French. Apart from language, I see no reason why someone  should be prohibited from practicing their cultural beliefs and ideas. If it  does not harm anyone, it is on no logical grounds you can stop someone from  their cultural or religious practices.

Giving  homosexuals the same legal rights as heterosexuals is special treatment. Why should abnormal behaviour be rewarded?

Being  homosexual or not is entirely preset. No one simply decides to be homosexual,  just as no one decides to be short or have a low voice. The only reason they  are attacked or noteworthy in the first place is because they have been  branded as abnormal. If they were labeled the same as anybody would label  Hispanics or women, they would not need special treatment. Even if you were  to look at being gay as a disability/abnormality, saying they do not deserve  special treatment may as well be saying the War Amps should be disbanded.  Disabled people get all kinds of special treatment, but even if homosexuality  was a legitimate mental disability, there is no reason they should not get  special treatment.

Our society doesn’t give enough respect to the elderly.

I do  not see any injustice against elderly people, so I do not agree with this. My  perceptions tell me that it should be innocent until proven guilty, and only  once I have seen an abundance of elderly abuse I will change my mind. If we were to expand this idea to respect for people older than you, rather than those of an objectively old age, I can agree that my generation as a whole has not learned respect. My age group--and those preceding mine--have little respect for authority figures, elders, or even property. We as a people need to learn to be more grateful for those who have paved the way. It is due to the anonymity and lack of real social connections that social media gives these younger kids that keeps them form forming any kind of social abilities or respect ideologies.

Life is so much easier when you have money.

I  cannot see in any way how this would be wrong. Perhaps one can make an  argument to say you will be morally corrupt, and thus live a harder life with  less friends and a smaller conscience, but that does not keep coherency when  dealing with philanthropists. It is objective that life is easier the  wealthier you are, however, saying this is absolutely undermining the obstacles in everyday life for aristocrats. It is paramount to remember that from their perspectives, the dilemmas they confront are just as valid in essence as any other problem for any other person. The only discrepancy will be in the severity of the problem. Do not become delusional and believe the life of the wealthy is without adversity, but it is still not to an extent of many other less financially blessed individuals.

Of  course we shouldn’t mistreat animals, but if it comes to a choice, humans’ rights are always more important than animal’s rights.

People  are not likely to end up in a situation where our rights are pitted against  those of animals. Should this occurrence take place, there is no doubt that  humans should be prioritized above animals. As much as people such as I love  animals, they do not have souls or passions or desires like people do. Humans  have objectively more to live for and be free for. That being said, the way animal rights are now is absolutely unfair and cruel. The way it is right now, like in many other cases, animal rights are put below human luxuries, which lets corporations abuse them and genetically destroy them for the sake of meat and attire. When it comes down to it, animal lives would be infinitely better accompanied by the absence of humanity, but to be pragmatic, that will not happen for a long time. It is imperative that 

I  guess some people on welfare have a good excuse, but most could get a job if  they just tried.

For  many people living on welfare, it is not in any way a choice. Many people  living in poverty are seen as weak or defeatist or stupid drunkards, but for  many, the poverty itself catalyzes this alcoholism. It is true that men and  women exist who had nice lives before drugs or alcohol or gambling became  habitual, but we cannot generalize and marginalize an entire group based on a  minority.

Just  because he’s only 14 doesn’t mean he should be treated any differently by the  legal system than an adult. If you’re old enough to do the crime, you’re old  enough to do the time.

As long as you can be convicted, you should be incarcerated, or given whatever fitting punishment is due. By the time someone is an adolescent, they should have instilled within them a moral compass that tells them to not murder, steal, assault, etc. 

I  believe in an eye for an eye and nothing will ever change that.

Depending on the beliefs of any individual person, the best execution of consequences may be to turn the other cheek and forgive, assuaging the fear of any party of quarrel. Many will also believe that to placate an aggressor is nonsense; to attack them with an equal amount of harm and repercussions is the only way to stop the continuation of the antagonist’s belligerent status quo. 

Of  course men’s sports have greater prominence in the media than women’s sports.  Men’s sports are just more popular.

I am  not affiliated with sports, but since men’s sports are far more showcased, it  is obviously fact that they are more popular. Men are, by way of anatomy, objectively better at sports than women. It has been romanticized more, and will continue to be so, since with that added skill and demographic leaves men with an obvious athletic advantage. With that, it is then easy to  see why men’s sports are featured more prominently in media than women’s.

I don’t  care what gay people do in their own homes, I just don’t want to see it  flaunted.

If  one is proud to challenge the status quo, that is fine. Should someone flaunt  their homosexuality for the sake of either deliberately attacking the status  quo, or just to gain attention, they are using it as a tool. To use their  nature as a tool to get what they want, especially when their desired  reaction or possession is negatively affecting others, it is wrong and there  is no logic to stand by the idea that it is right. Be proud to be gay, and do  not let anyone stop you from being so in public, but do not act overly flamboyant just to get attention. Show affection to your significant other in  public because you love them, not because it gets people riled up.

I  don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying items made by people in poor  conditions in underdeveloped countries. At least they have a job.

As  long as people buy products from companies that promote and utilize slave  labour, it will be perpetuated. It is not fair to these people who may have a  better life, should they be able to go some place else. Many of these  children and adults working endlessly under deplorable conditions are getting  so little pay it hardly makes a difference, if they get any at all. Even then,  if it is child labour, they may not get to even go home. This practice must  be stopped no matter what. The biggest issue is that no one knows how to stop this kind of slavery. Many will believe they cannot make a difference on their own, and opt out of any guilt, denying they are part of the problem. It is very hard to conquer such a force as great as child labour forces, but somehow it must be done.

I  think it’s rude for people who speak other languages not to speak English  when you are with them.

If  one does not even know English, it is in no way rude to not speak it. That  would be lunacy. For those who are fluent in English, but make the choice to not  speak it when English speakers are around, it is rude, especially when you use it as a means of insulting them. People should know what others are saying, and if you have the ability to speak English to English speakers, do so.

A  corporation’s greatest responsibility to maximize profits for its  shareholders.

Corporations  themselves are inherently bad, as so many greedy ones can make massive impacts  to the detriment of thousands of people. It is wrong for a company,  corporation, or any kind of executive officer to be so avaricious that they  neglect the needs of people who utilize their products or actions. Companies  should be for their demographic, as communist as that may sound, and their  people should not have to worry about the power of greed within the system. The dilemma occurs when we look at the harsh reality that corporations are businesses, and businesses are there to make money

Sometimes war  is the only option.

I  cannot think of a way to try and stop Hitler from reigning over Europe. When  someone is radical enough to dispose of life for an ideology or practice, any  kind of diplomacy cannot be arranged. If they are the initial aggressor,  letting them conquer will not achieve anything, except for putting an autocrat at an even higher throne. As much as I would love to never go to  war, non-intervention is simply not an option sometimes.

If someone  doesn’t like my opinion, that’s too bad.

If  there is disagreement, I will make amends to my opinions, given evidence to  support mine being wrong. I am open to changing my stance on any topic, and  will not stubbornly keep to an idea just because it was mine, or because it  seems nicer. I go by facts above everything else.

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