#me negging my friends' crushes

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me

#like this has been happening with various people all summer #I'll be like... the thought of this person causes negative emotions that are literally directed at nothing #it isn't anything the person has done I just. feel like I don't care and don't really want to put in the effort with whatever friend #which is really weird bc I KNOW if I DO just put in the effort and ignore that random feeling I'll have fun and enjoy myself!! #bc I DO still like my friends actually!!! I just sometimes feel like I Don't and idk why #Lu rambles #this is especially odd when it's the sound guy bc like. not only have I been massively crushing on him all summer #but he's also one of the few people I genuinely have clicked with here. like we get along. it's cool. I've been slightly in love with him #so why do I now have this weird feeling like I want nothing to do with him/don't care #actually I feel extremely ambivalent about just about everyone right now but for some reason especially him #wait maybe it's PMS actually.... the Leave Me Alone Don't Talk To Me Don't Look At Me Don't Make Me Show Up hormones have hit :/ #...that would actually explain several things from the last couple days. I should start tracking it #ok sorry I'm done externally processing my emotions on Tumblr dot com. bye

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

eugh not a fan of my ex boyfriend excitedly going to tell our group that he has a crush on someone

#i so desperately need to know who it is so i have more information to be desperately insecure about #just me rambling again #being actively in a friend group with your ex where many of your friends will avidly flirt back and forth with him also isn't. the most fun #especially bc the main 2 friends that flirt back and fourth with him are the two that know the most about how #badly the relationship fucked me up #so. fun :] #it makes me incredibly uncomfortable but also our group has a very flirtatious energy so i have no right to be #i just have to get over it i am making this post so that i dont say anything because that would be bitchy #also i literally cannot say anything about the main part of this post bothering me bc i literally have told the group i have a crush #but alsooooo i need my ex boyfriend to tell me who he likes immediately so that i can turn around and violently compare myself #and like take note of all the ways that they're more interesting than me #y'know #but like we're friends obviously he has full right to?? tell us Abt a life update he's excited about #hence... tumblr dot com vent post so i don't become a bitch in person and i can continue to ignore any negative feelings i have

[brightbluekicks]

we literally always hang out (him, me, tatum) during 5th block on thursdays. he knows i am committed to going to [school]. he might be going there. tatum might be going there. he made plans to go visit [school] during 5th block on thursday with tatum and 2 other people we know who are committed to going there. and not me. what the actual fuck 😭

#it is like. baffling to me why he would do that. like he has become an incredibly shitty person! which is obviously indicative that he had #these traits before its just like. what the fuck dude why were you my friend and suddenly you aren't? because i liked you? grow tf up! #txt #🎹 #i feel legitimately awful. like i feel so bad. he has a deeply net negative effect on my life right now. not even when i was crushing only #but like. all of it. this is so awful. get out of my life 😭

[trujellyfish]

not to sound like a quitter, but.

#wat do u do wen ur in iceland with two of ur best friends #but u cant fucking sleep #and u dont have any of ur creature comforts and by gods are u a creature of comfort #and u have no money #and youve put very little effort towards this trip and even less money lmao #like wow i have ppl who will just. buy me plane tickets and tour tickets and food #which is lovely but ultimately soul crushing #bc im going to spend the next four years repaying that #bc i cant get it the fuck together with my spending habits #like ffs im almost 30 and i keep spending my money like a 10yo who found $5 in the street #and cash doesnt feel like a real option in iceland #and unfortunately i also screwed myself by not getting my new credit card #there is. a lot of negativity in my brain rn. #yeah its bc im tired as shit but with the insomnia #like i would pretend to sleep bc i know its better than doom scrolling but fuck #my brain refuses to be distracted from the self loathing rn #2hrs of lying there and i was like okay ill read fic for a bit so i stop. Thinking. #but then i close my eyes and my brain just fucking flushes itself again #anyway. screaming. hollering. homesick. #i only have unhealthy coping mechanisms at this point and unfortunately my fave one is illegal here sooooo....... #might try buying a pack of smokes tmrw lmao #provided i dont find anything sharp first heyyo

[kerorowhump]

my boy best friend having trouble identifying/accepting envy?

actually makes so much sense for him

#keroro #because if you think back to the childhood relationship with dororo. i really do believe he was envious of all he had #i mean obviously the money disparity. but also just being allowed to have pekopon stuff #but it wasn't like. an acknowledged and processed feeling. just in the back #and with how he fucked up the friendship due to that (like. often a result of actions that stem from unprocessed envy... - #like literally taking his things) #IT HONESTLY DOESN'T SURPRISE ME THAT HE NEVER DEVELOPED A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH IT? #i love that here he just needed an excuse to succumb to his crushing envy but still couldn't name it until tamama did #my boy best friend repressing negative and uncomfortable feelings is So real ! #i love that he phrases it as 'i should be happy for my friend'. he has such a messed up mental relationship with Friendship #like obviously yes you should be happy for your friend #but he feels guilty that he's feeling envious AF because that's not how friends are supposed to act. #he wants to have friends and be a good friend but fails at every step precisely because of his attempts #plus 556 and dororo were both childhood friends of keroro so to me the parallel comes to mind #ESPECIALLY AFTER THAT VERY PARTICULAR SHOT OF DORORO LOOKING AT THE TWO OF THEM FROM BEHIND THE DOOR #very loud

[impostorsshow]

Tips on how to be just as sexy as you?

Y'know I was gonna make a funny ha ha comic about me having no rizz but I actually uh. Have gotten asked out like 5 times in the past 4 or 5 years,and I've gotten in 3 relationships without making any of the first moves so uh. Idk be autistic and find someone who your happy to hang around with and natural rizz will come out

#i also think one of my friends has been flirting with me? and i know that 2 of my irl friends could very well develop a crush on me #i hope the irl friends dont #so thats like #3-11 people depending on how you count someone with DID #im deleting this tag if they ever find my tumblr account #ask #talk talks #I SO BADLY WANTED TO SUPPORT THE PART OF MY BRAIN THAT SAYS 'YOU SUCK' BUT THERES TOO MUCH EVIDENCE #IG SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE GOD COMPLEX THE DEPRESSION AND THE AUTISM I GOT PASSIVE RIZZ?? #update my partner says i have both rizz and negative rizz #and this is because i constantly type out finger guns after pulling s good flirt so uh #choose between finger guns or love i know what ive chose *finger guns*

[pacifistcowboy]

i’m nineteen years of age, i shouldn’t be googling shit like “does my crush like me” ffs this is humiliating

#i’m sorry i just keep talking about this #but i can’t stop thinking about his stupid fucking face and stupid fucking hair and stupid fucking hat #i’m lying they’re not stupid. that’s the whole problem #also i told one of my college friends about my feelings towards this guy and i regret it #because they’re gonna see us hang out and i’ll just KNOW they know so i’m gonna probably get so much more awkward dhfhehf #i honestly thought i was painfully obvious about my crush on him! but my friend was surprised when i told it! #there’s a chance only my crush has picked up on it! i feel like he notices but idk how he feels about it ‘cus he still hangs with me #which is good but he doesn’t like…give me any clues on how he feels about my feelings?? like not even negatively? #like he claimed i blushed at a compliment he gave me once n that i’m bad at looking at someone without being noticed #but like has no further commentary than ‘i notice you do these things’ and nothing telling me to stop or even to keep going like? wtf do i d

[chaoticbooklesbian]

If I hadn't been thinking this for the last couple of weeks at least, I'd be convinced it was just The Middle Of The Night talking, but I've reached the stage of having a crush when I become convinced that my body will disgust them if/when we ever meet in person and so I should never inflict my affections upon them. How awful would it be to fall in love with someone, only to meet them in person and be physically repulsed by the physical form in which they exist? I can't inflict that upon them. Sure, they've seen pictures, but there's a big difference between a still image and the grotesquery of seeing my body in horrible, horrible motion. And to ask someone to touch me? To put a hand on my arm, or worse, my lack-of-waist? To navigate kissing me around my massive belly?

I've worked really, really hard to get comfortable existing in my body, to be kind to my appearance when I see pictures of myself. I can't maintain it when thinking of other people interacting with my body, though, even just seeing it. I'm convinced, seemingly unshakably so, that my body is so repulsive that it will kill any romantic interest anyone might have had in me as soon as they see me in person. The last time anyone kissed me, touched me with romantic intent, was my sophomore year of college. The difference in my weight between then and now would be enough to make a whole person out of. I haven't experienced requited attraction that survived first IRL contact since, and I can't help but feel that the problem is my body.

Even if they did like me back now, would they still like me back once they saw how my belly rests on my legs and is moved and distorted with every step I take? Once they saw how it bulges when I sit down? Once they felt the floor shake when I misstep and have to catch myself? I want to believe that someone, somewhere, could still like me after all of that, but it feels like that would be too good to be true. I'm still the high school kid, half my current size, being asked in front of the entire class to bow out of being one of four Juliets and do something backstage instead for our wildly silly "production" of Romeo and Juliet because one of the Romeos was going to back out because of me and my body.

I've managed to stop talking badly about my body when I'm the one who has to look at it and interact with it, but fuck, it's so hard to believe that other people will do the same when, historically, they just find ways to make saying horrible things sound less bad.

#pedanticblah #dylan's stupid crush #i've moved into the 'feeling bad about myself' stage #body image issues #negative body talk #i know it's not nice to imagine my friends thinking badly of me #but i've never had anybody be genuinely positive about my body irl #so i can't imagine it happening

[zlebooks]

the type of crush i hate the most is the crush that makes you look at the list of ppl who liked ur post wishing they were one of them ☹️ AND THE ONE THAT MAKES U LOOK AT UR STORY VIEWS ON IG 🫣 and the one that starts out as friends and then u pine for three years, wishing it would end up like the ao3 fic under the friends to lovers, mutual pining, slowburn tag… but which fanfic writer is in charge of ur story bc gaddamn it’s taking too long. and then u know that u should stop liking them bc ure pretty sure ur just a friend but u cling unto the hope that ur story might end up like the ao3 fic

i need help

#he greeted me happy new yr #on the clock #LIKE EXACTLY 12:00 #OFC I WENT AHEAD AND SQUEALED #like a crazy mf #but the thing is… #i’ve been told that he looks like my boy best friend #and i look like his girl best friend #AND U KNOW THE NEGATIVE CONOTATIONS AB THAT RIGHT #ive been stuck in the friend zone for THREE YEARA #AND I’VE BEEN THROUGH W HIM AND HIS CRUSHES #even helped him get with this one #that became one my closest friends now during the process #only form him to uncrush her (thank god) #tbf he’s been there too when i liked other pol #ppl* #BUT I ALWAYS END UP LIKING HIM??? IT’S A FULL CIRCLE I SWEAR #AND HE DOES SHIT LIKE #PROMISING ME A GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS #OFFERING TO PAY FOR ME #LIKE IM PRETTY SURE HE DOES THAT BC HE TREASURES ME AS A FRIEND #but that only makes it harder for me to move on 🧍‍♀️ #like we both know i like him (naur he doesnt) and i need to get over him #LIKE IT’S BE GREAT IF HE LET ME TRY #he had me reading he’s just not that into you #had me watching romcoma #ROMCOMS* #he triggered my seasonal depression #anyway happy new year im leaving this in 2022 #⸝⸝ ˚. thea's unsent ‹𝟹

[orcelito]

I don't like training very much

#speculation nation #feeling very. 😐 today folks #i mean the training is fine but i feel listless and disgruntled #and i saw someone today who used to work here who i kind of had a maybe crush on #but who was close friends with the person that had beef with me so probably was bitching about me behind my back #and i saw her SON for the first time. bc she left bc she was having a kid. just a baby rn but he exists #and just. it has me feeling all out of sorts and unhappy. and just. ughhhh #i have 3 more hours of work. ugh. #negative/

[caralara]

.

#it’s really #bugging me #not necessarily in a negative way #but it is peculiar to me #and idk how to handle it #ive realised in recent years that my v #very complicated friendship with a girl #that turned into somewhat not really talking and being distant #after very intense jealousy etc #was actually a crush in high school #and now #since I’ve been out to my friends #and her #and have actually introduced partner that are not male to them #she’s suddenly been very #flirty? #like the last two times I’ve seen her #she’s exhibited actual flirting behaviour #and after years of cold distance #this is so odd??? #and now she’s saying all these things #i really don’t see myself getting engaged to my 6 year long distance relationship #or #not really sure about not being s lesbian tbh hahhhhahahah #im just left #????? #help? #like #this is so?

[miguelo-hara]

.

#.txt #for anyone whos keeping up: #I TALKED TO MY CRUSH TODAY!!! #lmao I feel like I sound like a teenage girl but I promise you I'm adult about this I'm just excited #he was in my class again #so when I got the chance (and when I calmed my nerves lol) I just went over and started a conversation #and hes SO fun and easy to talk to omg #I mean I knew that from before but it'd been a while yknow #we mostly talked about what he's been upto #not much about me but that's fine bc I was mostly curious about what he's been doing lately anyway #and.... we got talking about.star wars #and I asked him if he's a fan to gauge how much of a fan he is #and he basically said 'I'm a fan through and through' #which is!!!! AHHHH #hsgdj I'm so happy about that and it makes him more attractive lmao #I also asked on what days he's here and when we went home we basically both said 'I'll see you around' to eachother #I can't wait to talk to him again :'))) #and honestly. if he's not into me I think I'll be fine with that too bc I would still like to have him as a friend bc he's just fun #so this is good whichever way it goes #the only negative thing is that I looked kinda shitty today lol 🥲 #it's okay I'll make sure I look cute the next time 😌 #oh also he smelled nice lol

[elytrafemme]

the concept of doing something irrational and risky and wrong and keeping it to yourself is... strange, to me. none of you will believe me, but i don’t tell my real life friends much about my mental health nowadays. but in the past, and sometimes still now on my bad days, i like making jokes out of it. everything is a performance. so i don’t get it. i want to do bad things and then i want to tell people that i did it. 

but apparently that makes me. more mentally healthy. because i can admit it and analyze it. i don’t want to analyze it. i don’t want to sound like i have self awareness because that is a bad thing for me. other people need more awareness, i need less. i have abandonment issues not because of people leaving me, but because my own symptoms leave me as soon as i recognize them. like i’m all better. 

so i want to do mentally ill things. it’s not natural and i always have to overplay it. i say i’m not aware i’m doing things that i am very aware i am doing. i just. lie. all the time. because i need people to know. i don’t know what about this method is flawed. 

#negative #vent #neg #nightmare.vent #ugh these aren't even. that upsetting. but i'll tag anyway because. y'know. #my therapist told me today that some sessions feels like i'm performing to her. #she asked if it felt that way to me and i said no because it doesn't. it doesn't feel like i'm performing. #but maybe i am. maybe i am. #this is why people having crushes on me makes them worse people huh. #i even tell you guys here. i can keep a secret of a friend's to the fucking grave. #but i can't hide the events in my life. people have to know. #people have to tell me what's wrong. #i can't even be spiteful right now. i can't even be mad at people. #because it doesn't matter. i could probably get beat up by someone and wake up in the morning with 0 bruises #i wonder what you guys must think of me. i'm not a writer anymore. maybe i'll stop forever. #just so you all can tell me who you think i am when i'm not writing. #but that's effort too. christ.

[discountwives]

I DONT RMBR THE CONTEXT OF THESE PICS/GIFS still want him tho idk why they did this to him in the later seasons. they were like spen/cer. whip your cock out for the viewers 😏

#IM BAWLING HIS LEGS AND ARMS ARE SO SKINNY /NOT NEG #god i could snap him in half #THIS is the man that tops you? #yes. #no one will see my vision #skinny boys carry a heavy veiny girthy burden. #im sorry #also my friend saying hes kinda....in the 1st pic and i was like thank god. maybe im NOT biased bc u said it. #at the confessional 🔞 #im p sure i make him thicker in my art #thank god revival spen/cer shows more ass. #he looks like a raw chicken #HELP I SHOULD SEND THESE AS REFS FOR MY CO//MMS AHDHDJ #jude jests 🃏 #anyways hello #im period posting #why are u. attracted to him. #maybe i should ask my therapist ab that #his chest looks fragile. one solid smack and id crush his ribcage #this is why he needs a big bitch like me. #hes so skinny his thigh dont touch #not when im done w/ him #*cuts to rev/ival where hes chubbier* #yipppeee #♡: 🛠 hot rod 🎨

[mirohtron]

HE KNEW?! OH MY GAWD

OF COURSE CLASSICAL MUSIC IS THE WAY TO ANY GUY'S HEART

Your bsf also knew 😫🥺 Are you still as close?

HELPPP no yeah i told him bcs like the way my crush on him began was funny asf . but then like . i never told him the story . so it just stayed there super stagnant. 💀💀💀💀 we're chill tho

#theres actually also another close friend of mine i used to crush on n he knows too lmaooo but like #that was like 5yrs ago idrt he cares but he brings it up sometimes ? which is so weird because he has a gf ? and that gf is my close friend #if ure curious uhm. my crush on band boy was kind of like one of those fevers where u think its a cold u can sleep off. then u wake up and #youre just so fucking sick like ure gna die #he kept popping up in my head for no reason n 1 day i was like no ill just take a nap n ill wake up and ill get over it. but then. #i dreamt abt him. ad we went on a stupid ass date. my godddd #BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. i got sad sometimes bcs I'm emotional but it was mostly just funny #no but yeah i think we're chill but idr like him now like as a person its just bcs I'm petty and i hate my class #and hes in my class . he's probably just a good guy though #probably has something of a complex bcs he's a good singer and pianist . and I'm a mid singer and a beginner pianist and he's probably + #negatively judged me before . regardless! lmfao #bsf and i are on good terms we're not that close tho but that's bcs of a different thing LMFOAOO 💀💀💀 #asks #thats my lore tho 😍😍 and thats probably the most ill ever say bcs its personal

[aholotte]

joining the war on Valentine’s Day on the side of the aromantics

#I’m alloromantic but I believe in their beliefs #it’s also because I was rejected by my irl friend and crush #he’s always busy and we can’t see each other every day of every week #so i asked him to be my valentine ahead of time #he said no and that he only likes me as a friend #I could have sworn he LIKED-like me but #it doesn’t matter anymore #this is what I get for crushing on a (as far as I know) cishet boy #(I’m just putting cishet because idk if he’s allosexual and it seems likely that he’s ace) #(But I’m not one to decide people’s identities for them) #so now I have negative feelings towards valentines day #and am now joining the aromantics in destroying it #e