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#me goin yikes at my life

ventiswampwater · 10 months

Note

Bo and Lester Sinclair

AHHHHHHH, the stinky men themselves 🦍 + 🐀!!!

disclaimer: imo, any situation in which u "date" either of these two men would have to be predicated on some absolute tomfuckery and a hostage-type situation. LMAO. I see no other conceivable world where you'd just........run into them and have a normal ass relationship jhfdsjhfjdshjsdf they are so deeply ABNORMAL. so warnings for stockholm syndrome/dubcon headcanons below!!

once again under the cut bc a bitch truly does TALK

feel free to send me a character of ur choice for headcanons and I'll give u 3 pros and 3 cons of dating them. if ur so inclined!!!!

boseph

sidenote: I've been on a sabbatical from Him™ recently. he's been on the backburner. I've been hoovering down DIFFERENT fictional shlong. HAPPILY. so tell me why I was scrollin thru these gifs of him goin yum yum there he IS HIIIIII BABY hehehehe muy deliciosio. ?????? so fuckin embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY.

3 PROS

dick game is fucking immaculate. I HATE to fuckin say it. literally crying screaming THROWING TF UP. bc come on. I'd LOVE. more than anything. to tell u with CONFIDENCE that it's subpar. but I'd be fuckin lying to u AND myself. and the gods would smite my fuckin ass from existence. so yeah. it's good. u know. the kinda dick game where he absolutely does not care if this feels good 4 u. and it's mean and awful............but somehow it's makin u astral project into 328798329832 different galaxies. it's SUCH a fuckin shame. smh.

despite being a FAKE ASS LARPING "mechanic", I genuinely do think he's handy and knows his way around vehicles/how to fix things. he's very much a car guy. <-this is also a CON. have u met a CAR GUY before??? immediate no. but I'm considering it a pro. bc u will definitely have to bring him sweet tea down to his stupid shop one summer afternoon. and the garage doors will be wide open and he'll be blasting korn or slipknot or some shit. and he'll be workin on a car engine in a slutty wifebeater with a slutty lil rag tucked into his slutty lil belt loop. and he'll be sweaty and covered in grease and annoying. he'll complain about how ur interrupting his work. and then u get banged on the hood of the car bc he's a skank. so it's a pro.

I just feel like he smells G O O D. like. AS MUCH as I call him stinky. I unfortunately think he consistently smells good. like. the kinda smell that makes ur brain go ooga booga cavewoman-mode and forget ur basic motor functions. sigh sigh SMH

3 CONS

EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN FOR THIS LOSER

MEAN dom (this is also. regrettably. a pro)

it would be SO fun to peg him. u will never peg him.

mommy issues out the fuckin WAZOO. daddy issues too. every issue in the fuckin book. get ready 2 be seen less as a person and more as a weird conglomeration mishmash projected fantasy-nightmare. he's dedicated his whole adult life to maintaining a murdertown in his beloved mama's memory. his mother also fucking hated him. he's very aware of that. recreates and sexualizes his trauma to feel better about all that. yikes!!!!!!!!!! YIKES!!!!!!!!!!

lester

3 PROS

full of boundless enthusiasm!! genuinely interested in what u have to say!! will happily talk to u for hours about whatever dumb shit u have boppin around ur brain!! most ppl are usually unsettled by him (honestly, for valid reasons LMAO. I mean. he IS leading u to certain doom in his big bro's helltown), so having someone around who doesn't treat him like an oddity has him BUZZING.

he's a v strange but thoughtful gift-giver. I definitely see him as the kinda guy to randomly give u weird lil trinkets. like here u go. he whittled down this wood into the shape of a catfish for u. he's coming over to present u with a bizarre taxidermied raccoon w/a frilled dress and tiara. both the dress and tiara are made of recycled chip bags and six-pack rings. u love it

I feel like he makes a MEAN gumbo. u wouldn't even know it's made of lizard tails and alligator eyeballs. unless he told u. which he will. w/a huge grin while ur mid-mouthful

3 CONS

actually LITERALLY stinky. like. RANCID. DIS-COS-TANG. I'm not discounting the fact that he takes baths in like. a metal tub in his backyard w/dial soap. from time to time. but come on. he's a bit putrid. a bit foul.

I v much feel that he hasn't navigated a lot (if any) normal adult relationships. so get ready for some pie-in-the-sky goofy affection that skews pretty immature. he means well, but there's a lot of cognitive dissonance and general weirdness there. he's hardly been shown any good representations on how relationships should work, so his interpretation is...................boyish. and strange

I.........feel like he's clingy. just. smthn about him. as happy-go-lucky as he might appear, he's v liable of getting his feelings hurt if he feels like ur pulling away/losing interest in him. all the sinclair boys are pretty DEEPLY maladjusted lmao. I could see him being the type of personality to sulk around. he's the baby of the family after all. just a lil guy (affectionate) (derogatory)

#sighs. screams. vaults off bridge.#my mcfuckin dudes............................#SIGHING DREAMILY (HATEFULLY)#sam speaks #ask game #house of wax

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starlightshadowsworld · 5 months

Text

Danganronpa 3 Future Arc episode 8

Thonks.

Oh shit time rewind.

So we're back in the past seeing former teachers fight the Remnants.

Cool.

I guess this is the recruiter guys backstory? Koichi.

... Well at least we know the bloods red.

Back to the present and yup yikes Hiro is still on the roof being shot at.

Say what you will about Hiro but man has managed to singlehandedly avoid being shot while being fired at from all sides.

That's impressive.

And the cavalry is here!

Byakuya my dude, great entrance.

You wouldn't leave him you caaareee you can't deny it Byakuya you carreee.

"Somebodies gonna die because of me"... Oh yeah, straight back to Makoto having a crisis.

Fun.

Awwh shut up no, he promised Komaru he'd come back.

I know Makoto's not one to go back on his word but given he started this whole arc about to be arrested for life and or executed.... He erm... Wasn't gonna be keeping his word.

Well I doubt Kyoko or the others would let it happen so there's that but yeah.

It's sweet seeing Komaru give Makoto a words of encouragement, a hope speech if you will.

He needs one.

And the smile.

I forgot no one told em Gekkogahara was a robot, probably should've lead with that.

Confirmation that Makoto can run in classrooms.

.... Annnd straight into Munakata standing ominously with one eye.

Oh no.

Okay but the stabbing the sheath into the ground, pulling the sword out and in it's reflection is Asahina and Makoto.

So cool.

Words I don't usually use for Munakata.

And Gekkogahara is still functioning and just fighting Munakata.

Oh we're finally gonna find Kyoko, heck yes.

Speaking off, right back to her trying to investigate who killed Izayoi, aka the knife guy.

You know, I appreciate Kyoko for her dedication to her craft. There are no class trials but she knows how this games work.

Everyone wants to leave cos they might get murdered, nope they'll leave when she's done.

I admire her for that.

Idk if Ruruka tripping on some stuff means anything but Koichi says he's glad she just tripped and isn't trying to mess up the crime scene.

So, making a note of that.

Ah fuck Juzo's here.

Man I didn't care about Izayoi either but wow how flippant you are about his death.

Especially in front of his girlfriend.

Byakuya giving off the vibes of a man who's just so tired but he's got a job too while Hiro annoys him.

So they're stashing boxes with a danger sign on them.

"Don't you dare die before I have a chance to rescue you."

He totally cares.

Uh huh yeah sure like you're gonna be able to kill Kyoko Kirigiri, Juzo.

You can pretend to be a main character all you want, you sir are just a loud ass side character.

Koichi throwing something at him should've have made me laugh but here we are.

Oh! Oh he figured out his forbidden action, damn Koichi really pulling his weight this episode.

So Juzo can't throw a bunch, that's why he's fighting with a knife.

Despite being the former ultimate boxer.

That is quite interesting. And I love the idea that someone who talks down to people without a ultimate talent is now prohibited from using his.

Making him just no better than a talentless normal person.

Koichi is just ripping into this man that punching is probably the only thing he's good at.

Ah I love this, good shit.

Koichi sharing his forbidden action, which is opening his left hand.

Sure why not, makes for an interesting fight which I think is coming given how he's egging on Juzo who has the temperament of first game Byakuya.

"You are not even worthy of speaking that man's name."

... Munakata, Munakata, Munakata, Kyosuke Munakata.

Man you and Chisa have like 0 self respect, it's kinda concerning.

WAIT what was that, flashback for like a second of Junko on him and he's on the ground... Did Junko beat him?

That's a story, can't wait for that.

Nice, Koichi used the booby trap to get him. I don't think he's dead though. I love that it was just an accident too that's amazing.

Dumb luck man, never underestimate it.

AH HECK! Ruruka did mess shit up, fuck Kyokos going down.

Oh no... Koichi had to open his hand to save her... Fuck, that's good that's so good. Awh and he was bring poisoned and still got her to safety.

Man... Dude really honoured his promise to her father.

Aww baby Kyoko is so cute.

And she'll never know why he saved her.

Devastating.

Oh no Juzo got an energy boost from sweets.. Ruruka I know your doing a bit but I never needed to hear Juzo get called big boy.

I don't think she's the spy even if she's helping him rn, it just doesn't feel that satisfying.

Monaca being Gekkogahara, amazing twist didn't see that coming.

But Ruruka's been sus from the start, I feel like this is just so she can survive and get on Juzo's good side so he doesn't kill him.

Maybe?

Watch me be completely wrong.

... If that chocolate can actually mind control people I am suddenly very concerned for Izayoi and glad Seiko couldn't have any.

I don't think it can but weirder shit has happened in this franchise and Juzo has lost it.

Nevermind.

"I'm no ones puppet"

He really just said that didn't he?

I guess he isn't because he is very happy to be Munakata's bitch.... I mean, henchmen? Friend?... No I think I was right with bitch.

I love that Kyoko is just like why murder, when you can solve the mystery.

So true.

Ayy we unveiling cause of deaths, finally some investigation in my killing game.

Confirmation Seiko's dead, sad I liked Seiko.

Izayoi was stabbed after he died to make it look like that was what killed him, clever.

I love that Juzo is just unnerved by her Detective skills that he's just like... Okay explain..

Shouldn't be surprised to be honest, unless I'm remembering incorrectly the Kirigiri's are known for being a detective family.

Even than, you guys still worked together and would know each other's talents.

... Kyoko did you... Did she just lick Izayoi's saliva off her hand, for evidence?

... She did...

Man Kyoko don't mess around.

Reveal of the door!

Rukura killing Izayoi is a lot more satisfying of an answer, brutal.

I mean killing your boyfriend/childhood friend is a lot.

"Wow you really are cold."

Ryota, shut up.

Do not diss Kyoko for trying to move the plot along and saving all your asses.

Besides, you think this is Kyoko being cold?

"I know. I have to be, because I'm a detective."

Badass, and while true you have grown and you care and that's alright.

Ooooo post credit scene.

Byakuya and the gang breaking into the building.

And the buildings coming down..

... What on earth...

#danganronpa 3: the end of hope's peak high school #danganronpa #makoto naegi #kyoko kirigiri #koichi kizakura #yasuhiro hagakure #long post

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sems-diarie · 2 years

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hi semmie🥰🥰 hope ur okay❤️ little rant-

my best friend in the whole world won’t invite me to her birthday party😍😍how cool is that!! and she doesn’t think she’s made a mistake at all bc another friend is throwing it fr her🥺🥺 tbh i didn’t say anything bc its her birthday and we have a trip coming up where we’re supposed to celebrate my birthday and i didn’t want to cause a huge fight right before it but yikes. and here i was trying to find the perfect gift for her all these weeks!!😍😍😍how great. amazing truly. im so tired of people being assholes. seriously ain’t no way im being dramatic bc this is unfair. she doesn’t bother inviting me anywhere while i always invite her when im hanging out w my friends and they’re always super nice to her unlike HER friends who tbh treat me like shit and she does NOTHING when that happens🥰🥰 never gave a shit enough to even ask a simple ‘u okay’ when i was goin thru hell with my family,,, its all my fault fr caring more than other ppl do tbh but i just wanted an opinion cus yk what maybe im in the wrong here idk

i actually just had a similar situation happen to me! abt two years ago, my friend’s girlfriend didn’t wanna invite us to his birthday (even though his parents were throwing the party) and he ended up not inviting us! we haven’t talked since.

if she lets other ppl treat you like shit, then she is not your friend, baby :( you deserve better than that. especially since they’re her friends. it’s disrespectful and neglectful of you. i know it hurts but honestly? i’m voting 4 u to kick her to the curb.

if you’ve expressed your hurt and the most she can say is “well it’s not my problem bc yatta yatta yatta” then she’s not your problem either. fuck her and that gift. she’s not even trying to receive you emotionally.

i’m so sorry, my love. i know you must be so frustrated and hurt. but you have other people in your life that genuinely care ab your well-being and safety.

i don’t know her so i can’t really tell you but my mother always warns me ab friends who ain’t really your friends. ppl i know have been jumped by their supposed “friends.” situations like this can get so dangerous so quickly. keep an eye out for yourself :(

#vent baby! — ꨄ

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w3as3ly · 9 months

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youtube

i'm closing here, checkout, club went up, anyways, there's that sound, so people, people, that thought that i can't write down, is this currency. this is where i close, where i sing to her, not dunno, but where it's put together perfectly. checkout, closerclub, the sound, my love for her, me being a douchebag, put together perfectly. also, "mine," was something i considered placing, in the the seven groups. i chose not to place it, "so hard to find." bedrock, harder than a flintstone. mine, me singing to her, combining serious, romantic. open up your eyes, serious; keep walking blind, romantic. all i said was, "your move," no hurry, i wouldn't hurt her, there was no need to worry. the different day, club going up, refers to where she is, in my heart, where i was tortured, that day, the day i was tortured. let's leave it all in the rearview. you don't have to cry.

let's leave it, it is the beginning, in the rearview. you are crying, because, [combine singular, plural] you are crying, because, [profession, profession] i promise i'm i’m 2;1;4L i am, i'm, i'm i am, profession, profession

was having some trouble, there, 2:26, i'm i'm is my hand, it seems perfection really is so obtainable, yeah, i literally said i was about to end, close out of this all, my life is precious that's a part six thank you, where there is no lie, just respect; the truth will not just reveal itself, but that was the truth, respect top shooting stops coupe a wash top, shooting stops coupe a wash profession, profession sound, 2;1;4L do, done, did, not still, myself can you hide away? the sound of silence. watch, wrist, not just rearview

if you aren't crying, then your mind is in awh. if you were crying, then my mind would say awh. if not crying, then mind in awe. not audio, words, not parentheses, solution.

youtube

won't look back, that's on SH5, part six thank you, no lie won't look back, wrist on my watch, that's on SH5, where i'll shine, not thank you, next; to my love, i'm [not gon] it's earlier, where i omitted that i was watching, it did not logically follow, or fit, in this logic form. learn how to watch, will look back. thank you, part eight, the location of watching, omitted, coupe a wash, where i jump out the top, that's no top, omitted, but, to my love, that's where she's goin. told her to stop, double whammy, rhymes with okay, MI6 in the beginning of dunno, could have stopped, but this is the rap that i fucking know. stackin the guac, A LOT waitin to pop, ACTION, NOT SOLUTION, double whammy waitin to pop, ACTION, SOLUTION, double whammy rubbin the spot, coupe a wash, [combine singular, plural] learn how to watch, seven lines, not hours

youtube

yeah, what it look like. the sound of what i just fucking did, the rap that i can fucking do, the energy that i fucking love, it finally has it's place, so high that it can fucking function, and i don't even wanna translate, it's not an escalator, i'm an xlaker, i came from there, take care. alright, fine. filter, guidance. filter is RGM, what it look like. same mother fucker. been the same mother fucker. make a mother fucker faint. profession, profession, passenger. the sound, the energy, fucking function. E40, shit, i'll make time for it, and it really ain't shit, if it ain't columbine. thank you, part nine. answer, the decryption was critical for MI6, where i knew it, twisted. this is serious, romantic, intertwined. i'm an overachiever, did not start the team of leaders, but did start, not did, do have, a team of overachievers. could, not did, [blank]. do, have, team. yikes, thank you part nine, yikes. beast, dog, canine, bluff. see how she made that shit go down, with that bass line. then there's nothing. we out here tryna function, E40. YG, not BIIIG, profession, location. problem,

#Youtube

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thereadersmuse · 3 years

Text

Not to be micro-obsessed on main, but I am still hollering about the dinner scene in 1x03. I love all the little tiny things. The way the Jutuls were so hyper focused on Magne they change things to fit what he liked and disliked with barely a blink.

The details are so, so good.

This is all staged. Prepared. And for some reason it makes me cackle to think of Ran at the fucking rich person supermarket with a shopping list 56 miles long (because girl remembers the parties in the old days) and has to bring a semi-truck to haul it all home. They were prepared for anything. The different alcohols. The different types of food. They observed everything. What did he like? What didn’t he touch? It is all tallied and filed away to be considered later.

Magne makes a tiny face after tasting the champagne? It’s gone from the table in the next scene. Replaced by a white wine he seems okay with. A seafood course comes out and Magne’s body language politely says hell no. Saxa immediately tells him to put it down on a plate. Bam. Done. Right there they act like they've made a big discovery. We are told the seafood is expensive and hand-picked and the moment Magne shows disinterest they are like, yeah- just abandon that shit on a plate, no worries.

Magne's face holding the sea creature with the tips of his fingers is me trying to get out of touching mushrooms that have the audacity to touch my food always.

Next they come out with lamb and red wine and for first time Magne displays clear interest. The Jutuls are absolutely thriving now. They refill his glass and encourage him to take more, praising his appetite. (#mood). The next scene, apparently he’s eaten all the lamb meat?! How does Turid feed this boy? You would need to be rich. Like I am legit concerned. Also, side note, I hope the Jutuls have a god-proof toliet he can use after this because god damn.

Meanwhile, the Jutuls look like Saxa after eating that bird tbh. They are juggling that hot potato over a bonfire because they are so close to figuring Magne out they can basically taste it.

There is not a fucking vegetable to be seen.

Rip everyone's blown out assholes.

Get these bitches some fiber immediately.

Then, when you think dinner should be done, the main course arrives. EXCUSE ME?!? Rare beef steak is served and somehow Magne is still hungry. Once again, Magne is the only valid man to exist ever. They serve him like 3/4 of an entire cow and Magne is grinning because this boy has waited his entire life to be truly full, I guess?

It is upsetting how much I wish that were me.

That beef steak looked fucking amazing.

At this point Laurits is full just watching Magne eat I am assuming. I would love to have his inner dialogue as Magne destroys everything they put in front of him like he does this everyday. Portion control? He doesn’t know her.

Laurits is amused, intimidated and probably aroused because he is trying to play one-sided footsie with Fjor under the table. Our boy is getting his feel on, only he is probably accidentally playing footsie with Ran instead because Ran does not waste the youths in this show in any shape or form. #big yikes.

When they slap the meat on his plate Magne makes this rough sound I am fucking obsessed with. Almost a growl in a way? It was literally Thor coming through, I am dying. And I take no criticism for something that I might have just clit-dreamed up.

The Jutuls’ are haughtily delighted because with every inflection, every choice, they are that much closer to figuring out what Magne is before Magne even knows himself. We hate to see it.

The shots scene with Saxa is so understatedly hilarious. Because I am absolutely sure this is Magne’s first real introduction to alcohol. And he has been drinking all fucking night and probably being like- ‘I don’t feel bullshit’. And now suddenly he is doing shots with Saxa, because- who cares, I guess? I wonder how that even started.

They do five shots and Magne, our precious bean, just blinks.

MY MAN.

Saxa awkwardly going: “oh, I felt that one.”

Magne’s face is like: “feel what?”

My dude is completely unfazed and we stan.

Then they go for the nuclear option and break out the mead and let me tell you about the religious experience I had watching that entire scene. I love when you have a scene like this where everything is acted and shot so perfectly. You see Magne’s interest and the moment he tastes it, my dude chugs because part of him remembers this and you see the moment all the Jutuls’ are like- oh.

Meanwhile, Magne crushes his mead and is like-

I have to imagine this is when the Jutuls were like...

#ragnarok netflix #magne seier #laurits seier #vidar jutul #ran jutul #saxa jutul #fjor jutul

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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

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Over And Out (l.h)

End Up Here - Part 4

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x 5sos! Fem! Reader

Summary: A tour. A secret relationship. And rumors only grow...

Warnings: Angst, mild smut. Mentions of harassment, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, creepy men, jealousy, alcohol, cheating, fighting, sexism, and many frustrations. Language and some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 10k

Author’s Note: this is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever written, I believe. Next part will be up on March 14th. Remember that Reblogs, Fedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3

Liked by michaelclifford, 5sosfan4eva and 1,573 others

lukehemmings and away and away we go ✈️

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5sosfan4eva THEY ARE TOTALLY DATING

↪️ calumlovesash I hope they’re not 🤢 she was much better with Madden or Josh. At least they’re famous

yn5sos I’m changing seats with Michael

↪️ lukehemmings @yn5sos 🥺

@5sos EUROPE ARE YOU READY?!

“I can’t believe we’re already here!” Y/N cheered as they got to the hotel.

It’s been a month on the road already and they finally had a few days to rest before traveling to yet another destination. They had the idea of doing a tour to promote not only their new singles and tease the album release that’s bound to happen next year, and it ended up being one of the most incredible ideas they had after spending almost a year without doing shows.

They started with a small tour in Europe, then they will move on back home in Australia for a couple of shows, and then the big finale in the United States where most of their shows were already sold out. By that time, the fans would’ve already listened to the new songs and be even more hyped for the new album.

Luke was the newbie on tour, this not being the first time he traveled away from home, but the first time he did it with people he cared about. He was having the time of his life with Y/N, the boys, and their s.o. It all felt like a dream. He was actually living the life of a rockstar on his summer break, even if most of the things they did they had to keep it a secret.

When Y/N invited Luke on tour there was no way he would’ve said no to her - not just because he pretty much can’t say no to her, but that’s another story.

She said she wanted to take it slow and that was exactly what they were doing. They didn’t put a label on whatever they had going on, but rather they enjoyed the moment stealing kisses and nights whenever they could.

They would sneak out into each other's rooms late at night, longing to be closer. They would spend hours upon hours tangled in the sheets, loving each other and sharing whatever was on their minds at the time. Making those moments their own amid their borrowed time between destinations. A moment for the two of them.

Luke found it weird at the beginning; hiding their relationship from the world until it became official. But these last few months he could see a change in Y/N, she seemed happier, more open to talking about her feelings and her past. He understood that this was important to her, to live a normal life until she feels ready to share it.

If time is what she needed, time is what she’ll get.

The boys and their girlfriends were all supportive. They too understood the importance of keeping some things private as well as the changes in Y/N’s behavior. They were all happy to see their friend back, just in time for tour.

But it was almost impossible to control what was put in the media. The fans already know who Luke is and that he spends a lot of time with the members of their favorite band. They speculate about his relationship with Y/N, creating rumors that even though he wants to, he can’t confirm nor deny. And when it came to the media outlets, those were much, much worse.

They didn’t say much about him “The privilege of being normal” Said Calum once. But they did have a lot to say about Y/N…

“Y/N L/N is back at it again with a new man?!”

“No tears this time? Y/N L/N Caught smiling and getting cuddly with a member of her team! Can she mix work and pleasure?”

“Serial heartthrob Y/N L/N seen with other men while still refusing to talk about her most recent break-up? Sounds fishy to me!”

“What was she thinking?! Y/N L/N was spotted in an outing with his “new friend” wearing very thin shorts and a crop top. Not so family-friendly apparently”

Horrible things were written about her every day but she ignored them as if they didn’t exist. Luke wished he could do the same.

Every little article, tweet, or comment about Y/N made his blood boil. It was clear that they were completely made up to be some “big news” when the reality was far from that and they kept disrespecting them and their relationship even if it was still on the down-low.

But Luke could not stop reading them. It was addictive how he couldn’t resist clicking on her name every time it popped out, not because of some morbid reasoning behind it, but because those articles seemed to know more about Y/N than Luke himself. People kept talking about a past he didn’t know she had. Were those made up as well? Or are they based on reality? Would he be able to know the difference?

Truth was, he couldn’t. He loves Y/N blindly, he got to know her in one of the most genuine ways but it feels like that is not enough. It’s almost like she is living a secret life he doesn’t get to know.

He wonders when it will end. This seemingly permanent stage of seating on the sidewalk, waiting for the light to turn green so they could walk freely into their relationship. Where people will support them, respect her and let them be happy. But that could never happen when she’s the one who doesn’t want to move.

Luke respects that she is not ready to talk, as she said time and time again. But he just couldn’t comprehend how she, right now, could be so at peace while her name is thrown through the mud and back. Smiling with the boys as they take pictures for promo while management arranges the check-in. Does she not know what they are saying about her or she just accepts it without any retribution?

He was asking himself all these questions as he watched her so happy, his mind tormenting him with a dark cloud over their sunny day. He wants to protect her, but he doesn’t know how or if she would even let him.

And yes, maybe that was selfish of him. Banging on a closed-door with his heart in his hands. But what about the person with the key and the lock? Aren't they a little bit selfish too?

“Hey!” He heard Kat said as she sat beside him, nudging her shoulder against his.

Luke turned to her, his eyebrow still locked in a frown as he muttered a little “hey”

The blonde girl scrunched her nose at him “Yikes, what's happening that it has you all worked up, buddy?”

Luke pressed his lips on a thin line as his eyes traveled back at Y/N. She was laughing at something Ashton had said when she turned to look at him.

Y/N smiled, winking at him as she waved. Luke stared at her for a while, a small smile playing on his lips as he raised his hand in acknowledgment. He could feel his heart skipping a beat every time their eyes met, but the dark feelings in his mind made his expression turn sour the moment Y/N turned around again, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the girl sitting next to him.

“You read them again, didn’t you?” Kat asked, already knowing the answer just by looking at how his shoulders tensed the moment she asked it.

They were all aware of the tabloids and the stories, being a regular occurrence to them, but not for Luke. They all knew this was new to him as well and how overwhelming it might be. So they all tried to ground him as much as possible, not letting him get affected by it as he had before.

“Now why are they saying that?!” He spat as he threw his cellphone on the leather couch, calling the boy's attention.

It was a normal day at the studio. They were all getting lunch as they laid back in the break room while Y/N and their girls went out to get them coffee.

Calum was the first one to speak, confused by his friend's sudden outburst “Uh, what exactly? And who?”

“This!” He said, grabbing his phone and tossing it at Calum. The rest of the boys gathered around as Luke plopped himself down on the couch.

Ashton began to read out loud “Seeing the growing rumors of Y/N’s mystery man, here’s a list of every guy we wished would date her”

“Okay that’s fucked up,” Michael said, swallowing his food.

“It’s better than the last one…”

“What?!” Luke asked, outraged that there are worse things out there.

“Dude, chill,” Calum said, “We understand this is beyond fucked, especially now that you’re dating or whatever. But you getting this angry at it won’t solve anything”

“Won’t solve anything?!” He said in a loud tone “That’s my girl they’re talking about. My girl dating other guys while she’s with me!”

“But they don’t know that,” Michael argued.

Luke shook his head, taking his phone back from Calum’s hands as he started typing furiously.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?! Letting them know that they can go fuck themselves” Luke answered, eyes still on the phone, a second away from pressing send before Calum snatched his phone.

“No!” He said “You are not going to out your relationship without her consent!”

“But-“

“Plus, I already took care of it,” Ashton said, holding his phone up “I tweeted at them telling them how incredibly disrespectful they’re being, now the fans are onto them and I already messaged management to deal with it”

“And that’s it?” Luke’s eyes winded “That’s all you’re gonna do?”

“That’s all we can do right now,” Ashton said with a sigh, sitting next to it “We know these situations suck, they’re horrible and dehumanizing and we are glad more people are realizing just how shitty the media is. But if we respond to every rumor there is it’s going to be a never endless battle, it’s going to backfire. We know, we tried”

“But all the stories are aimed against her” Luke said, running a hand through his face with frustration clear in his eyes “She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Why do you think that is?” Michael chimed in “Think about Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears… They aim for women because they think are easy to kill”

“Which they’re not. It makes them stronger somehow. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if I was them” Calum said “Women are stronger than you think when it comes to this, Y/N included”

“We’ve been living with this kind of shit show for years. We defended her with knives and teeth, dragging every single outlet that posted something against her. But that shit only made it worse for her”

“They loved the attention they were receiving” Ashton’s voices laid with sarcasm “Every interaction we had they profited from it, creating even more rumors, one worse than the other, just so they could have the clicks. Eventually, Y/N asked us to stop defending her publicly and she decided to ignore it altogether”

“But we still fight for her, though. We flag the post, demand they take it down, talk to PR and management for damage control, and even sue for defamation a couple of times. She’s never got to go through any of that on her own, we wouldn’t have allowed it”

“And what am I supposed to do, then?” Luke asked, a mix of frustration and desperation filled his voice “Just do nothing?”

“Be there for her” Calum answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world “Support her. Love her. Comfort her. Whatever she needs. She’s a strong woman, one of the strongest we know. But there will come a time when she will have to lean on someone, and you have to be there and ready for her. She trusts you. Don’t let her down”

Kath placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder, understanding the man’s pain.

“I just-“ He said with a sigh “She never reads them, you know? The articles. But I do, I can’t help it. They seem to know more about her than me and that’s just-“

“Fucked?”

“Yeah,” He said as he took a long breath “I don’t know… I’m trying. This is all very new to me and she’s a professional at dealing with this kind of shit. But at the same time, she never tells me anything, how she feels about them or if they’re real or not. It’s fucking me up”

Kat hummed “And I assume you don’t ask her about it either”

The girl crooked an eyebrow at Luke, seemingly seeing through him “I- I don’t want to push”

She sighed and patted his shoulder “Let me tell you something, Luke. From girlfriend of a celebrity to the boyfriend of a celebrity” She started, earning Luke’s complete attention “When I started dating Calum we decided to keep it private, out of the eyes of the media and even from some of his friends. It was good at the beginning, great even! But the heart is ambitious and it always ends up wanting more. We fought a lot during those times, part of us wanting to hold on to what we had but at the same time longing for some kind of freedom. In the end, we did end up going public, as you know. We endure a lot of hate, we still do. But we knew what we were up against, you’re still trying to figure that out. But I’m telling you to know there is something you’re lacking”

“And what is that?” Luke asked with curiosity.

“Communication” Kat smiled sweetly at him “How do you expect to reach a meeting point while you’re sitting here in your own dark cloud and she’s over there with no clue of what’s happening with you and vice versa?”

The blonde girl got up from her seat next to him, giving him one last piece of advice before walking towards Calum “Don’t give up before you try. No one said it was going to be easy but, it’s your choice to see if it’s worth it”

Luke watched her walk away, rousing her arms around Calum’s waist as she smiled sweetly at him, giving him a small peck. Luke smiled at their love.

He thought about their friends, how in love they are with their partners and how free they are to love publicly, facing the retaliations of being in the public eye. But they seemed happy, they were happy. And he realized he wanted that for him and Y/N.

His mind drifted off to the possibility of going public, cleaning the air once and for all. No more “mysterious guy” or “Y/N’s possible secret lover” he’d be Luke Hemmings, the proud boyfriend of singer Y/N L/N. They could be happier, free. They could fight those rumors together and face the stormy weather that would come. He’d defend her until the end of times, protecting her with his life and supporting her in everything she does. He wanted that for them. But it wasn’t his sole choice to make.

“Babe!” He heard Y/N call.

She was walking up to him, a playful smile on her face as the nickname rolled off her tongue. She was wearing one of his hoodies, making her look small as she approached him.

He noticed that her eyes were shining, lately, they always did and he couldn’t get enough of them. He could get lost in her eyes willingly, throwing away the map and making himself home.

He loved her. Oh, he was so in love with her he didn’t even know what to do. The more he thought about it, the more sure he was about wanting to love her freely. He just wished she thought about it too.

“I got our keys” She smiled, pulling two cards out of her back pocket.

“Oh?” Luke asked playfully with a grin drawn into his face “And where am I supposed to sleep this week?”

In order not to create any suspicion about their relationship, they decided that Luke will have his own hotel room on tour - even though everyone knows that’s not where he sleeps or where he wakes up in the mornings. Usually “Luke’s room” is used to store the extra luggage they carry.

Y/N fake pouted “Sadly, Mr. Hemmings. Your room is at the other end of the hall”

Luke gasped “That far away?! Is there any way I can be… closer?”

The girl bit her lip as she rounded her arm around his waist, standing on her tippy toes as she softly whispered in his ear “Let’s see what I can do about that, Sir”

Y/N giggled as she heard Luke let out a soft groan, pecking his cheek with a small kiss as she stood in front of him again “Baby, you’re going to be the death of me” He said, trying to get a hold of her by her waist. But she was quicker, swiftly moving a step back as she started walking towards the elevators. One last look over her shoulder got him grabbing their things as he followed her without any questions.

The elevator ride is quiet, the beating of their hearts being the soundtrack to their wait as they reached their floor. Y/N didn't look at him as she walked towards the door, unlocking it with one swift movement of the wrist and leaving it open for Luke to come in after her.

When he opened the door, she was nowhere in sight. He wondered if she hid somewhere, this not being the first time she would jump and scare the shit out of him. But then, his ears picked up a soft humming coming through the bathroom door, and with a devilish smile he let their luggage at the side of the closet, he locked the door and made his way to her.

Y/N was humming one of her favorite songs when Luke caught her reflection in the mirror but she was not looking at him. She was putting some lotion in her hands, fingers tracing up until her upper arm with barely-there touches.

“Remember we have a party in a couple of hours, Hemmings,” She said when she felt him getting closer “We should get ready soon” He just hummed in agreement, not really paying attention to her words.

Softly, he placed his hands on either side of her hips, pulling her closer to him. Y/N kept ignoring him as she dried the excess of product out of her hands and it wasn’t until Luke pushed away some of her hair and started kissing along her neck that she finally gave him a proper response to his action.

Luke smirked as he felt her let out a shaky breath as his lips traced the shell of her ear, kissing it softly before moving lower and lower, kissing and sucking on her skin as slow as he could, making her tremble under his touch.

“Luke,” She said, holding her breath as she felt his calloused hands travel under the hoodie she was wearing. His hoodie. The one that always smelt like him.

“Hmm?” He asked, not stopping his movements for a second.

“We- uhm” The girl stuttered in a whisper when his hands started touching her over her bra, softly rolling over the nipples and making them hard “We should - oh - we should start getting ready soon”

“We should, huh?” He asked, voice raspy and low “It will be rude to go a little bit late. Wouldn’t it?”

Y/N let out a sigh when his hands left her breasts, trying to regain her breath before she lost it all over again when his fingers started playing with the hem of her jeans.

His fingers wandered carefully, fiddling with the button and zipper until they weren’t an issue. His lips grazed her neck up and down, kissing it softly as his fingertips finally reached her center.

She let out a soft moan when she felt him over her panties, tracing her lips over them and feeling her arousal “I’m sure they could wait a little bit longer” He said as he pressed a finger to her clit over the fabric “We need to take care of a few problems before that, don’t you think?”

He pressed his hips onto her, a soft whimper escaping her mouth when she felt his growing erection against her.

“So wet for me, my love” He groaned as her hand flew to the top of his hair, trying to find balance as she tugged on his curls “Always so beautiful for me”

“Luke-“

He opened his eyes just in time to catch her staring at him through the mirror with a desperate look in her eyes. It took him less than a second to spin her around and press her against the countertop, ceasing his lips into her like she was his last meal on earth.

She tangled her hands behind his head, fingers deep into his hair as he grabbed her by the back of her thighs, easily lifting her off and taking her to the king-size bed where they made sure to lose track of time between kisses and moans as they satisfied their needs with each other, over and over again until they fell through the abyss of pleasure together, whispering sweet confessions as their breath went back to normal.

It was easy to say that they were the last ones to reach the lobby. What was hard for them to ignore was the knowing looks and teasing smiles from their friends that were waiting for them for a good amount of time.

“Don’t say anything” Y/N threatened Ashton as he opened his mouth. But he just laughed

“If you want Luke to walk around with his fly open then sure, I’ll keep my mouth shut”

The ride to the party was filled with laughter and chit-chats. They were all in a great mood to finally have a mini-break in between shows and what better way to celebrate it than at a big party?

Luke stole glances from Y/N as she talked to Bethany. She looked beautiful with her black dress, making Luke proud and a little bit snug about him being the one who would take her home afterward.

But he knew that after tonight they needed to talk. And not “talk” like they usually do. No, this time he was going to express his concerns to her, his hopes for them, and confess his love for her over and over again. He wanted her to know how he feels, he needed to know where they stand and what she needs to feel more comfortable and what he can do to help her feel at ease.

He just needs reassurance, something to hold on to while he provides the same for her. In the end, he knew they would be okay.

After a few minutes, they reached the house of the host. Luke marveled at the mansion that stood proudly in front of him. When Y/N mentioned a party with some label associates, she never mentioned that the party was going to be hosted by the president and owner of the label.

He felt Y/N tug on his hand a couple of times before separating herself from him and going to stand next to the girls.

For a moment Luke forgot that they needed to keep appearances and couldn’t be together romantically in public. He could feel his heart aching as he watched her walk away with her friends, laughing together as they stepped into the party.

“Hey,” Michael said behind him, following the eyes of the sad man next to him “It’s just one night”

He tried to be comforting, but all Luke could wonder was: Would it be just for a night?

The party was wild. That’s the first thought everyone has in their minds as they step through those doors into a world of darkness mixed with neon lights, smoke machines, and three open bars scattered around the hall. People were separated into groups: The ones who were too drunk to stop dancing, the ones not drunk enough to start dancing, and the ones who were networking their way into the industry.

Everyone that was someone was at that party. Producers, artists, songwriters, performers, agents… You name it. It was a party for the big leagues and Luke could not help but feel out of place the moment he stepped foot into the scene.

“Hey! 5 Seconds of Summer. C’mere!” A voice called over the music.

Standing not too far from them there was a man, his bald head shined under the lights as he held a drink to his lips, beckoning the band to come over.

Y/N and the guys started walking towards the man without a second to wait, leaving Luke and their girlfriends to witness the interaction from afar.

“Who’s that?” Asked Luke, getting closer to Danielle as they watched their partners laugh with a bunch of men who were now surrounding the band.

“That’s Anthony Kellinghs” She answered, swiftly grabbing a drink from one of the trays carried by the passing waitresses “He’s one of the big bosses in the industry. Ashton said his team approached them not too long ago to see if they would be interested in changing labels and work with them”

Luke glanced back to the group. Y/N was standing next to Calum, talking about something that made Anthony smile even though her face was serious. He did not like the way that man was looking at her.

Anthony laughed loudly, making other guests turn his face towards them. Y/N and the boys shared a confused gaze as they laughed awkwardly along with him. The bald man kept laughing, clearly intoxicated as he lowered his hand and rounded his arm around Y/N’s waist.

Luke’s breath got caught in his lungs as he watched how Y/N’s body movements came to a halt and her eyes widened in discomfort, her smile seemed stiff but she didn't stop laughing or talking to the guy. Luke could feel his blood boil as he watched his girl in the arms of someone else, acting like nothing was happening and that everything was fine, in front of him.

“What the fuck?” He muttered under his breath. Debating on whether he should go and punch that dude in the face. No matter how important he was in the industry, he wanted him away from Y/N immediately.

But he didn’t move and neither did Y/N. Luke didn’t know if it was because she physically couldn’t or because…

No, he rejected that thought immediately. It was clear to him by her eyes that she was desperate to get away from his touch. And apparently not only to him because the moment that man put his hands around her Ashton and Michael called his attention away from her, moving a few steps back so Y/N could have more space to free herself the moment she could. Calum had his eyes on her, too, with his arm placed to his side as if he were to take her away from there at any second.

Yet the man did not move an inch away from her. Instead, his hand trailed lower with every word he spoke, until Luke couldn’t see it anymore. All he could see what’s Y/N’s uncomfortable face as she suddenly jumped forward, fear written all over her eyes.

Luke let out a curse as he took a step forward, ready to beat that man’s face to dust. But he stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait!” Danielle said, eyes locked on the scene played in front of them.

Luke stared ahead and let out a breath of relief when he saw Calum taking Y/N away from the group and towards the bar, seemingly excusing themselves to get a drink. He saw how his friend’s arm rounded around her shoulders, making it impossible for her to look back and for anyone else to notice her face as they walked away with no intentions of coming back.

Luke lost sight of them as he watched them disappear into the party. “Good,” he thought “At least she’ll be safe and away from him” But that thought did not calm the rage he felt towards the creep that dared touch her in front of her friends.

“I’m going to kill him” He hissed, once again trying to step forwards but once again being pushed back by Ashton’s girl.

“The guys got it covered,” She said, her sweet voice laced with a warning as she whispered loud enough for only them to hear “They will handle it and make sure they never work with that man, ever. It’s not the first time this has happened”

“This happened before?!” Luke said, attracting some curious eyes to him. But he couldn’t care less about it at the moment.

The girls looked at each other and then at Luke. How could they explain to the man that this happens more times than Y/N would be able to admit? They knew first hand how the industry was full of creeps and disgusting men, having dealt with them in the past as well, but Y/N…

She was the front girl, the main focus of attention. She was beautiful, talented, hot… that’s all they saw, never caring about her caring personality, or how intelligent she was, how she was the driven force of 5SOS. She was more than her looks, she was a girl trying to live her dreams. But men only seem to see one thing.

“I’m going to check on them,” Kat said as she walked towards where Calum disappeared with Y/N. Bethany mentioned going to Michael to try and make them get away from the conversation they were still having with that fucker.

And Luke stood there, not able to do anything “Y/N wouldn’t want you to cause a scene, that’s why the boys never do it anymore. She knows how important image is for all of them and a scandal is the last thing they need right now. Especially if some “random dude” goes and punch one of the biggest names in the industry”

Danielle was right and he hated that. He hated that he couldn’t do anything to defend his girl because she didn’t want to be defended. But the fact that she knew how to handle these kinds of things didn’t make it any less wrong or difficult for him to ignore. More so because their relationship was still kept a secret.

Luke couldn’t help but think that maybe if people knew they were together, things like these wouldn’t happen. After all, the only thing men like Anthony respected was the presence of another man.

Ashton and Michael returned after a minute, both of them with their jaws clenched and eyes filled with the same feeling of powerless Luke felt.

“Where is she?” Ashton asked, standing beside Dani and holding her close by the waist, almost as if he were scared something might happen to her.

“Kat went to check on them, they still haven’t returned,” She said, comforting her boyfriend by running her hand up and down his arm.

“This is bullshit” Luke murmured, frustration lacing his voice as he grabbed one drink from one of the waitresses and drowned it in one go without flinching. He turned around and started walking away from the group.

“Where are you going?” Michael asked, half concerned and half furious from him walking away at this moment.

“I need air” He answered as he took another drink and walked through the garden doors. Not even sparing a glance back when Y/N called his name as she watched him go.

Luke spent most of the night going back and forwards between the main hall and the garden. He drank whatever was being offered to him and sat down on a bench as he watched the casual smokers come outside, accompanying him from a distance.

He knew he was being childish. He didn’t understand much about the industry, nor how people that worked in it were. All Luke knew was that Y/N was nothing like them; she was not greedy, nor was she a creep, she wasn’t evil or ill-hearted and she didn’t deserve what happened.

He wanted to be with her, apologize for his shitty behavior, and tell her that he loved her. Because he did. He loved her with all his heart and it hurts him to see her like that. But every time he stepped through those doors back to the main hall - every time more intoxicated than the others - she was nowhere to be found. Or she didn’t want to be found, but that didn’t stop Luke from looking for her.

And every time, wherever he found her, she would have company. Sometimes she would be with the boys and their girlfriends laughing along with some other group of people - usually men - that stood a little too close and personal with her. Other times she would be on her own, talking to some guy or girl he didn’t know, too preoccupied with her conversation to even notice Luke standing at a distance, looking at her with longing eyes as he tried to find the courage to talk to her.

Then, he would go back to the bar, order his drink and go back outside or with the group, tightening the grip on his glass as he watched the girl he loves being swept away in conversations he couldn’t be a part of, after all, he was just one of the composers and her friend. Nothing else.

The guys and their girlfriends tried to cheer him up, including him in conversations and inviting him to dance. They knew how new this was to him, having to remind themselves every once in a while when they caught his sad eyes dancing across the room on the looks of his fleeting love.

“She came looking for you a few minutes ago while you were outside,” Dani told him the third time he came by the group.

“Why didn’t she go out with me?” He asked, eyes on Y/N as she talked to Michael and one of the producers they met in London a few years back.

“She was going to,” Ashton chimed in “She walked over there but I think Niall caught wind of her and they started to catch up”

Luke clenched his jaw at the thought of Y/N with other men. His mind couldn’t help but to go back to all those articles about her exes, her possible new partners, her possible future partners. Cheating scandals, break-up songs, parties where she didn’t leave alone… All the things she refused to acknowledge came to the surface, hitting Luke in the face as he realized that they might not all be lies.

He hated to think about her that way, to think that he didn’t trust her enough or that she didn’t trust him enough or whatever the fuck was wrong with them. But as he saw how Y/N hugged a stranger, all his thoughts went out the window.

“Who is that?” He asked no one in particular.

“Who?” Bethany asked in response, following Luke’s stare towards her friend “Oh, that’s Josh”

“Josh? As in Josh Benthlow? Her ex?”

Beth furrowed her eyebrows as she saw the look of pure rage on the blonde’s eyes “Uh, yeah? But you got something wrong there” She said, “They never dated”

Y/N laughed at something Josh said, pushing him playfully on the shoulder as he kept telling his story. Luke recognized the look in his eyes; it was the same way he used to look at Y/N when they first met: Pure adoration. And, he didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system that was making him see things that weren’t there, but he could swear he saw Y/N flirt back at him.

“Friends don’t act like that” He spat, taking another sip from his drink, already losing count of how many he had that night.

“Hey!” Beth called his attention, taking the drink from him “That’s enough now. Alcohol is making you act like a complete asshole”

“I-”

“I don’t care.” She said, interrupting whatever he had to say before he even said it “Look, I get that you’re getting used to all of this. But you need to stop with the jealous act right this instant. She’s famous, yes, they all are and that means that you will have to share her with the world whether you like it or not. It’s her dream after all, and besides Y/N would never do something like that to hurt you and you know it”

Did he?

Not long after the group decided to go back to the hotel, having already stayed at that party longer than necessary given that they have a show the next day. The ride back was quiet, everyone either being too tired to even speak or too smart to try and cut the tension that was being created by the new couple’s behavior. Even when Y/N sat next to Luke he didn’t acknowledge her, keeping his eyes looking outside the window the whole car ride.

Y/N was one of the first ones to get out of the car, walking up to the elevators and not waiting for anyone as the doors closed.

Luke clenched his jaw as he contemplated not going to their room tonight, fighting with the feeling of not wanting to see her and the feeling of never wanting to let her go.

“You need to go there right now,” Calum said, taking a step next to Luke but not looking in his eyes “Having been her friend for so long I can see that she’s upset… Nah, fuck that. Even idiots can see that she’s upset”

Luke scoffed “She’s the one that’s upset?” Voice laced with sarcasm.

Calum hummed “Guess not every idiot can see that” He pressed the button of the elevator and hoped in with Kat, not waiting for Luke as the door closed in his face, but not before saying “You’re not the only one hurting, you know?”

It took another 20 minutes for Luke to open the door of their room. Again, Y/N was nowhere to be seen, but the light coming from under the closed bathroom door let him know that she was there.

He sat at the edge of the bed, hands covering his face as he now wished he hadn't drunk as much as he did. His head was spinning, he couldn’t decipher if it were because of the alcohol or because of his intrusive thoughts that wouldn’t leave his head.

Y/N got out of the bathroom for what it felt like an eternity later. She was wearing her Spongebob pajama and her hair was tied in a messy bun. Her makeup-less face looked tired as she didn’t glance at Luke before sitting by her side of the bed.

They stayed in silence for another five minutes before she decided to speak.

“Are we going to talk about tonight?” She said, voice neutral of any emotion.

Luke scoffed “Now you want to talk?”

She ignored him “I didn’t see you all night, Luke. I was worried”

“Oh, you were?” He mocked with cruel sarcasm as he got up from the bed and started pacing around the room “Funny way to show it you weren’t around!”

“I wasn’t around?! Luke, you spent half the night outside! Every time I came over you were nowhere to be found!”

“And every time I was there you were too busy talking to other people”

“I was working, Luke!” She said with a groan, massaging her temple as she turned to look at him “It’s part of my job to make connections at these kinds of events. And if you didn’t notice, Calum, Ashton, and Michael did the same”

“Well, you must be pretty damn good at your job then!”

Y/N looked at him, shocked by the way he was speaking to her “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Luke was angry at her question. How could she not know? “Why don’t you ask Josh what I mean?”

“Oh my fucking GOD,” She said with the loudest tone he’s ever heard her talk “That’s what this is all about?! He’s a friend!”

“I was a friend, too and we still fucked!” Luke matched her tone of voice, probably waking the people in the room next to theirs.

Y/N laughed humorlessly “You have no right to-”

“And whose fault is that? Huh? Whose fault is that I cannot call you my girlfriend in front of other people? Whose fault is that I have to stand to the side and watch you flirt with every guy on earth just because “it’s your job”?” He asked “Y/N, I’m trying so hard for you to let me in and the only thing you do is push me away! Are you embarrassed by me in any way?”

“No,” She said, finally meeting his eyes and seeing no more anger in them, just an incredible sadness for both of them “No, of course not”

“Then why?” Luke asked, taking a step towards her and cupping her cheek with one hand “Why can’t you let me protect you? Why can’t I be with you freely? I know some things are hard for you to talk about, love. I get that. But I’m drowning here, not knowing what to think or what to say to make you trust me”

Y/N stayed quiet as she looked into his eyes before looking away. Luke sighed.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now. But we’ll have to do it eventually”

“I know,” She said with a string of voice.

“Sorry for the things I said”

“I’m sorry, too”

Luke wanted to kiss her, to comfort her. Even though he is still mad at her, he still has this need to protect her from the wrongs of the world. But she’s got to let him in first.

Instead, Luke placed a kiss on her head and walked towards the bathroom to get changed for the night. When he came back Y/N was already asleep on her side of the bed, her back turned to Luke’s side.

He let out a sigh as he turned off the lights, laying down facing the other side as he murmured a “Good night” Barely missing the soft sniff she gave in response.

The next morning Luke woke up without her by his side. He felt a tug in his heart as he remembered all the things he said to her, the cruel way in which he implied that it was all her fault when both of them had a bit of blame to put in their names. He wouldn’t be surprised if in the middle of the night she decided to leave and sleep somewhere else.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, ready to give her a call and apologize properly, hoping she’d pick up. But just as he was about to press the call button, the door opened.

Y/N walked in, sandwich and orange juice in hand. A small smile came to her lips when she saw him already awake.

“Hey,” She said softly, almost like if there were someone else in the room that was sleeping “You missed breakfast, so I bought you this. It’s now much but-“

“Thank you,” Luke said with complete honesty.

Y/N nodded, walking up to his nightstand to place the drink and the sandwich. But before she could walk away again, Luke grabbed her softly by the arm.

“Luke-“

“I’m sorry,” He said, his baby blue eyes looking into hers. He was sad to see no emotion in them compared with how shiny they were yesterday before the fight “I didn’t mean it”

Y/N let out a sigh as she sat on the bed next to him “No, you’re not” She said almost resignedly “And yes, you did. And it’s okay, I deserve it”

Luke shook his head, feeling even worse than before “No, Y/N I was out of place and-“

“You were, but that didn’t make your words any less than truthful. I hurt you, Luke. Even without wanting to” She said with a broken voice, but the tears didn’t come “But I want to change that. Tonight, we can talk after the concert. Okay?”

“I don’t want to pressure you” His hand flew to her face, placing a strand of hair behind her back. She smiled softly and kissed the palm of his hand.

“I know, but I want to” Finally, she got up from the bed and started walking into the bathroom, gathering some of her things. “We’ll start early today with some interviews and sound check, and the girls wanted to go shopping so they’ll meet us there. I will send a car for you before the concert and then we’ll talk. Alright?”

She grabbed her back and headed towards the door, giving Luke one last look and a soft smile before she left.

Luke didn't forget how she didn’t kiss him before she closed the door.

The day passed by and Luke was still in their room. He sat in front of the table with his notebook and pen, writing up words that, at that moment, reminded him of her.

He didn’t like how they were acting with each other. How quick everything went to shit after last night’s mistakes when words were louder than actions until those words became apologies.

Y/N said he didn’t mean his apology, and deep down he knew it to be true. He regrets the way he told her, admiring that he would have handled things a little better than he did. But he meant what he said about her pushing him away by not communicating. They were both trying but apparently, they sucked at it.

Truth was, there was no one to blame. Truth was, they were both at fault. And, truth was that he would still fall to his knees for her the moment she asked. Because he had never loved someone as much as he loved her.

When the time of the concert was almost upon him, he quickly jumped into the shower, ignoring all the beeps and rings of his phone as his thoughts and hopes filled his mind. He thought about what he was going to say to her, and he hoped that they could finally get past this and leave this whole situation behind; to start over and just be free.

He was putting on his shirt when his phone started beeping again, finally checking it to see what the fuss was all about.

Thousands upon thousands of notification flooded his screen, and they all said the same thing:

“Y/N AND MADDEN BACK TOGETHER?!”

“THE ENCOUNTER OF THE YEAR! MADDEN BANKS AND Y/N L/N SEEN TOGETHER AGAIN TALKING ON THE OUTSIDES OF THE VENUE”

“OMG Y/N X MADDEN SHIPPER REJOICE AS THE COUPLE SEEMS TO HAVE REKINDLED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AFTER CHEATING SCANDAL”

Luke felt as if an elephant was standing on top of his chest, losing his balance and falling to the bed with his phone in hand, unable to look away from his screen.

His breathing became elaborated as his eyes filled with tears as he read the tweets and article titles. He knew he shouldn’t click on them. He knew. And yet…

“Lead singer of the band 5 Seconds of Summer, Y/N L/N was last seen talking to her ex-boyfriend, Madden Banks, in a secluded alley outside the venue where the band is going to perform their concert tonight.

We last saw the couple last year around August when Madden announced their breakup after cheating scandals came out to the surface. None of the parties made any comments about it, but it was set to believe that Y/N was the one who committed the mistakes after a set of tweets on Bank’s personal account where it said that he was feeling “broken-hearted” by the situation and he hoped no one had to get through that ever again.

Now it seems that the past is the past! As Y/N and Madden were caught by paparazzi talking again, and by the looks on both their faces it seemed like their relationship was not over after all!

We are still waiting for confirmations from either of them but congratulations to the couple ❤️”

A set of pictures were attached to the article. All of them of bad quality and from questionable sources.

On the first one, you could see Madden smiling with Y/N’s back facing the camera. On the second one, Madden was closer to her, almost cradling her face as if to kiss her. The third picture had Madden pointing out the paparazzi, a surprised expression plastered on his face as Y/N appeared out of focus. The last picture had Y/N walking away with Madden following behind, both of them with angry faces seemingly for being interrupted.

Luke was gripping on his phone tightly, a sense of rage coming over him as he wiped his tears furiously and walked up the door. Turning off his phone before he could read Y/N’s message:

Y/N: it’s not true! Let me explain…

He did not go to the concert that night, nor did he stay in their bedroom, opting for sleeping in the room that was originally assigned to him.

His emotions walked him into a bar last night, letting him drown his sorrows in alcohol as he slowly drifted away from his senses. He doesn’t remember getting to the hotel, but he does remember not wanting to be with her that night. Feeling betrayed and used, what was the point?

It was pretty late when he woke up the next morning, too late for Y/N to even be in the hotel knowing that they still needed to do a lot of press before traveling to their next destination. It was sufficient to say that he was not going to go with them.

He was about to book a flight when he noticed his phone died while being turned off last night. He was in such a rush that he forgot to bring his charger with him, but he felt confident that it was safe for him to go back to her room now that she was gone. He would pack all his things and leave, he was not about to endure any of this shit anymore, no matter how much it hurts him.

When he opened the door to her room, however, Luke noticed that he was not alone.

“You didn’t come last night”

Y/N was standing by the window, looking at the street through the thin curtain, hoping she might catch a glimpse of Luke walking back to her. She was wearing the hotel’s robe and had her hair tied in a ponytail. Her voice was fragile, tired, and broken as if she spent all night crying.

“Good,” thought Luke “at least we’ll both be miserable”

Luke didn’t answer that, instead, he just asked “I thought you’d be doing the press tour”

She shook her head, her back still facing him as she sniffed “I couldn’t go. I didn’t know where you were”

He would’ve thought it was touching and he might’ve felt bad for her if she hadn’t shattered his heart the night before. So he said nothing.

“I needed you last night, Luke,” She said, voice a little firmer as she finally turned around. Luke’s heart ached when he saw her delicate figure, she looked sick, pale, and tired. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red from all the crying. Part of him wanted to go to her and hold her, but her betrayal was still too fresh on his skin.

Luke scoffed “Sure you did” He didn’t intend for his voice to sound with such malice, but it was almost as if his tongue had a brain on itself “Was Madden not enough?”

“Stop,”

“Is he here?” He asked, voice mocking interest as he walked around the room “C’mon Asshole!” He called, opening the closet doors and walking into the bathroom “You won, motherfucker, you can have her! It’s not like it’s hard anyway”

Her eyes widened at his words, cheeks turning pink at the realization of the insult “Luke!”

“Was this part of your plan?” He asked, turning towards her with nothing but the rage inside his eyes “To bring me here to make him jealous? To make me fall for you so easily? Is that why we never went public? Ha! Should’ve known you just wanted a free pass to whore around while still making sure you have a secure fuck waiting back at the hotel”

Y/N froze. Not even Luke could believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, but he was too far gone in his own anger to process them or to take them back.

“This is the part where you apologize,” She said, eyes filling with tears she refused to spill.

“No, this is the part where I tell you to fuck off” Luke spat, taking a step towards her, not realizing how she flinched as she took a step back “You know, I tried so fucking hard for months to make you happy. And every day I read those fucking articles that were talking shit about you and every fucking day I told myself that those weren’t real. That you weren’t like that… surprise, surprise! Looks like the cat is out of the bag. Makes sense! That’s why you never wanted to talk, you never wanted to admit to what you did because you never take any fucking responsibilities for the damages you cause! I thought I knew you, at least some parts of you. Turns out everyone is right about you. Every fucking word of it”

He turned around, ready to grab his things and go, but the adrenaline was kicking in and he just couldn’t stop.

“Tell Madden that he’s an idiot for taking you back,” He said with his back turned to her “That he should’ve left your cheating ass alone. Let you get what you deserve”

“I never cheated” She mumbled, voice barely above a whisper.

He scoffed “Yeah, right”

“I never fucking cheated!” Y/N raised his voice, making Luke turn around to face her. Her face was red with tears and she had her fist clenched to her sides, knuckles white from all the pressure she was putting in.

“I never cheated on Madden! I never fucking cheated on you! On anyone! He cheated on me, repeatedly and with several people for all the course of our relationship! I never touched a person outside ANY of my relationships. I have been nothing but faithful to you and now you’re throwing that shit at me without knowing an ounce of my side of the story?!

You want to know, Luke, why I never tell the story as it was? Why it’s so fucking hard for me to tell the story even to the people I love?”

It was a challenge, he knew from the look in her eyes that she was not going to stay quiet any longer. She didn’t even wait for his answer.

“I was fucking abused, Luke! Physically, mentally, sexually… you fucking name it! During that whole relationship. Want me to tell you the details or you could figure it out yourself?! I was getting beaten almost daily! I had to hide the bruises and cuts in front of the guys as they slowly watched me fall apart. I had to lie to them for YEARS because I genuinely thought he loved me. He said he did so I believed him. It wasn’t until one night where he got too far that I had to tell myself that it was enough. But what could I say? I was so fucking embarrassed I couldn’t go to the media that calls me a liar every chance they have! I couldn’t go to the police because he has money and could easily get away with it! I was so fucking alone until I met you and… You took his side”

Luke felt like his heart was taking a punch with every word that she said. Every tear that fell off her eyes was like a knife in the back. The guilt was eating him inside out, crashing into him like a tsunami. He should’ve kept his mouth shut, he shouldn’t have let his emotions take the reins, he should’ve... He felt all of his emotions turn to mush, all but shame as he stared into her eyes knowing he was the one who fucked up.

“Y/N-“

“I needed you last night when he cornered me. I needed you by my side as I broke down backstage because you weren’t answering your phone. How do you think I felt when I came into our room and found it empty? I was ready to tell you everything and then you just decided that wasn’t worth it anymore. That I wasn’t worthy anymore. All without giving me a chance” She cried, shattering sobs running through her body as she remembered the feeling of hopelessness she had “Not only that, but I come to find this on your side of the bed”

She threw his notebook at him, he didn’t need to open it to know what she read. Already regretting leaving it there.

“Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed

Don't know if you love me or you want me dead.

Some days, you're the best thing in my life

Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

Then you turn into somebody I don't know

And you push me away

Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth

Late-night devil, put your hands on me

And never let go”

She recited the words by memory, having read them over and over again as she waited for him to come back.

“Is that really how you see me, Luke?” She asked, voice broken as she looked into his eyes.

Luke felt his body tremble with shame as he looked at her. He has never seen her look so sad and fragile before, the smile he loved so much was gone and he knew he might never see it again. He wanted to scream that that’s now how he saw her at all. Those words were written out of frustration, out of anger. He wanted to tell her that she’s the most amazing, loving, strong, intelligent person he know but... how could he even look her in the eyes?

He knew that he went too far. That he should’ve given her a chance to explain what happened instead of just letting the media fill his brain with lies; lies he believed without question because of his insecurities. He broke the strongest girl he’s ever known, but she was still standing.

Despite the hurt, he caused her, she was still standing in front of him. Demanding answers he doesn’t know how to give. Still being so much braver than him.

“Y/N, I-“ He began, voice breaking as he was left speechless. How could he ask for her forgiveness now that he broke every ounce of trust she held for him?

“Luke, I think you should leave,” She said, rounding her arms around her torso as she looked back at the window. Unable to hold her gaze to him any longer.

“No,” Luke begged of her. Pleaded, even “Y/N, baby don’t-“

“Leave” She repeated more firmly “If I’m such a monster, the best thing we can do is for you to go home”

She turned her back to him once again, and he knew that he had just lost the battle he was too scared to even fight.

Y/N cried silent tears as she heard him gather his belongings and pack his bags, feeling as if she might collapse into the floor if she weren’t holding herself too tightly. If she concentrated, she could hear him cry, too, until he closed the last of his bags and walked through the door.

Because, after all, he would still go to the ends of the world if she asked.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @girl-toxxic

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thevoilinauttheory · 3 years

Text

Laughter Lines

[ FFxivWrite2021 Prompt 5: Extra Credit ]

The Five Part “In the Dreams of Ashley” series is done! Go read the others here! {Prelude} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Wind} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Fire} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Water} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Earth}

[ HEAVY, HEAVY CONTENT WARNINGS: drug use, detailed suffocation, detailed drowning, suicidal ideation, heavy guilt mentions ]

youtube

To dream that you are drowning indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Repressed issues may be coming back to haunt you. If you drown to death, then it refers to an emotional rebirth.

“That job was somethin’ else, yeah?” “Can say that ‘gain.” Ashley turned his eyes to the stars in the sky, fingers dug into the sand as he sat back against one hand, the other steadying a pipe in mouth. The stench of whatever he was smoking usually had Hunter rile up his nose in disgust… but this one was rather pleasant. Or maybe he had just grown so used to it, that it became a comfort. His eyes turned up as well, only to close to listen to the sound of the ocean gently washing the shore. “Ruta said you’re from ‘round here.” “Mm. Yeah. Limsa.” “...The ocean’s nice. I think I could stay out here a while.” “Yeah? I think so too. Can’t imagine growin’ up in a desert like ya’.” “It… Yeah, it ain’t much.” Ashley laughed, sitting up to look over his friend - then held out his pipe to him. “Want a hit?”

“Not really. But sure.” Ashley never pressured anyone to join him in his habits, and Hunter never took to it. But after their most recent job, it seemed best to get his mind off the entire thing, so he took the offer - inhaling a bit too much for someone not used to doing so. Before he knew it, he was choking on the smoke like he swallowed water wrong, waving his hand at Ashley as he laughed at him. “Got greedy!” “Like-- like hells--” He coughed between words, trying to laugh through the pain in the back of his throat. “Oh, gods… that’s strong.” “Usin’ this one for th’same reason yer wantin’ it.” “Can’t get it outta yer head?” “Mm.” Ashley shook his head. “Well, s’bit easier to ignore it when yer head’s floaty.” “Floaty? More like cloudy. Ooch.” There was silence between them again - but it was comfortable. It usually was, whenever they were in each others’ company. If it wasn’t prodding, it was some form of understanding through silence. “Ash?” “Yeah?” “...What d’ya’ think yer gonna do when yer done with all this work, in th’end.” “I dunno… haven’t thought o’ it. I… hm. Maybe I’ll settle down by the ocean.” “Maybe I’ll join ya’.” Ashley snorted. “Join me in settlin’ down?” Hunter returned it with that dorky smile he had whenever he had a dumb thought and was waiting for someone to catch just how dumb it was. Except this time, Ashley didn’t think it so dumb - no, he blinked at him, as if saying that were the highest form of honor; he wasn’t sure how to respond. He scooted over closer to him, taking his pipe back from him to take another - more impressive - long drag from it; just to show off how he swallowed it down into his lungs without much of an issue at all. In one motion, startling Hunter, Ashley flipped his knee over his lap so that he straddled him; now mimicking that.

“Helluva way t’propose, I’d say.” As he spoke; the smoke kept in, now pouring out in clouds; but a murmur as he closed the distance between them with a surprisingly passionate kiss - the rest of that cloud sucked down Hunter’s throat as he made a noise of bewilderment. He made no move to turn him away, however, now pushing into him until both needed to breathe. “Ash.” “Mhm.” They stared at each other - it was a moment that would have been engrained there forever. This one moment. “Ash, I-... I think I lo--” “Sh, no… don’t say nothin’. Nothin’ at all.” Ashley inhaled sharply, then smiled brightly. “...Not ‘til we get that chance t’settle down.”

“Ah, Ashley, right?” “Again? Don’t people have other people they can bother with this crap?” “I-... I apologize, sir. Our company, we were looking for more of your caliber.” “Caliber? You wantin’ me to kill off your people too? Look, kid, you obviously haven’t heard-” “We have, yes. But one mistake doesn’t mean all of the successes were mistakes as well.” “One mistake cost me my family, and it’ll cost you yours.” “Everyone who chooses this profession… goes into it knowing the risks, sir.” “...” The man was right, they knew that every mission had a chance of failure - yet they put themselves up on a pedestal, made themselves and thought themselves the best. Ashley let out a heavy sigh. “You’re right. But no, I can’t join ya’. I’m not ready yet.” “I see… thank you for your honesty, sir. Hopefully… you’ll think of us in the future, should you ever be ready.”

The ocean was something of a bittersweet notion, whether it was the memories or the way it was portrayed. The memories - gods, he held tight to them, maybe too tightly. They brought a wash of guilt and pain over him, regardless of how fond they were. Just as the ocean was both the clearest water, gentle and caressing in one moment - then the night would come and turn sapphire waves into bleak emptiness. Full of bounty, full of death, of sunshine, of storms - everything about it fit the description.

The ocean was bittersweet.

Ashley dug his bare feet into the sand, wiggling his toes into the soft grains as he watched the waves drag them further under. “Bet y’d never think t’see me in shorts, huh?” He spoke to no one, but his eyes were on the clouds. “I actually prefer ‘em. I wonder… what kinda clothes y’would’ve preferred outside o’ the armor?” The wonders were met with silence, only the sound of waves filled his ears. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere today. I told ya’ I could sit here with ya’, settle down here. I--” He hung his head, gritting his teeth as he held back tears, to no avail. “I wish y’were here. T’join me. We coulda been lazin’ out here… *I* coulda been, then y’d scold me fer bein’ too lazy. Then we’d laugh. I’d ask ya’ if ya’ wanted t’smoke with me - n’ you’d deny me ‘til y’didn’t. Gods, I miss ya’. I hope Llymlaen’s takin’ good care o’ ya’.” He trudged back to the dry shoreline, flopping into the sand and stared at the sky, listening to the waves until the sun started to set.

“*That’s* what y’d wear if y’could wear anythin’? Yikes.” A familiar voice struck his ears and he clamoured to his feet to greet it. “Hunter?!” He rushed at that lumbering body, filled with so many emotions - relief, anger, sadness. “Hunter, gods be! You- you’re… Hunter, I--” There was that flash again, his head raging a headache as he relieved that moment; that smile, the thumbs up, the last moments spent with him were in danger. And he. He was the one that lived. Why? For what?

He felt his breath taken from him when his eyes opened again. They stung with salt water as he sank deeper under the waves; they cast a hazy glimpse at the clear and reflective surface of waves above him, his hair waving about with the currents. This was the final straw, wasn’t it? This is the one that would take him - he… started to wish it, at this point. He hoped this was true. The sound of the waves and currents in his ears, water soaking his skin and clothes, pulling him further in. He did try to swim away, swim for air, but the water tugged him back in - what he felt was like a lover holding onto him, begging him not to leave.

He gave in when he couldn’t hold the air in his lungs anymore. This was no gentle smoke, no clouds nor fog poured from his lips to spew jests or to give kisses; yet the water still took his mouth with a passion he had only felt once. When he tried to cough, feeling the searing pain in his chest, the tides laughed at him - laughed with him. The corners of his vision were fading, blackening as he struggled to stay awake.

Who would miss him? Who would *he* miss? There was nothing and no one for him. He was so filled with images of war, of abuse, of fires, and murders. Why would he want to keep this? No, he could let go, he could join them; start this whole life-thing over again. Try again. Try for a better end. A storybook just as bittersweet as the sea that swallowed him. As he felt the last of his consciousness fade, he could only smile.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad, after all.

He woke up with another start, the tides licked his legs and the stars stared down at him. He coughed, as if the water truly reached his lungs, trying to rid itself of the salt that coated them. But there was nothing. He awoke in tears. Not today, that dream told him. Not today, his love told him. He slowly stood up, searching the shore for his pipe and matches - thankful when he found them dry. He sat back down further away from the water, covered himself in a coating of sand, and looked at the stars.

“This one’s fer you, buddy.”

#ffxivwrite2021 #prompt 5 #extra credit #about: Ashley Tucker #virtues and vices #actually cried writing this one #i was also thinking of using into the ocean by blue october for this one #but laughter lines hit a lot harder in the feels #🙃

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a-slut-for-smut · 2 years

Note

Oh my, I’m a new Ichiruki and I can’t get over the fact that neither Ichiruki or Rivamika became canon lmao. I’ll be forever bitter and I will never ever understand why the authors took the time to build the relationship if it all ended in nothing

Isayama, Kubo I see you guys

Hello fellow ichiruki & rivamika anon!

Apologies for the delayed response- while im hardly timely with these things, I will answer earnestly! This is also somewhat of a loaded ask so imma break it down.

Firstly- take a deep breath and repeat after me: what do we say to canon?

Feel better, not bitter!!! :D Best to think canon more as a "guideline" than actual law- trust me as i live 24/7 in my "fairy lalala everybody is smashing happily ever after headcanon land". Now that said, I do try to find the silver lining/appreciate canon beyond the ships i ship.

With ichiruki: I will agree that Kubo went to ridiculous lengths to establish their soul-defining bond, parallels to the point where they were literal antithesis of each other, not to mention a huge catalyst in each other's character development multiple times over. To do all that and have them not end up together is by definition EGREGIOUS.

However, i will say that at least Kubo had the decency to leave my girl Rukia with some agency- in that her ultimate goal wasn't always/all about getting the boy. She proved her worth and ability in Soul Society and ended up a Captain- so fuck yes, you go girl!!! As for Ichigo, he got...um...an interesting haircut? LOL i kiddddd

But in all seriousness, i have no issue with the canon ships themselves, just the execution of them. Let's just say it could have been done better, MUCH better and leave it at that. In fact, given the chance i'd happily hop on Renji's tattooed dick (lets be honest, it is) or smash my face in Orihime's boob pillows. So the canon pairings have that goin on for them at least lol

With rivamika: Isayama also created these undeniable parallels (altho not egregiously so as ichiruki), which ultimately were meaningless other than to have some unexplored, hand-wavey explanation for why they were the overpowered Gary-Stu/Mary Sue characters that they were i guess??? i mean, talk about a LET DOWN

At least with bleach ending, Rukia made something of herself but Mikasa? YIKES. Ships aside, I would have been happy for her if it showed her living as an adult in Hizuru -even with the scarf on- because at least it would show her being driven (to explore her heritage, because otherwise why bother introducing that plotline at all????) by something other than "the boy"/Eren, who ultimately was a genocidal maniac her childhood crush...like...they never were actually together??? come on man...maybe ive outgrown shonuen but jfc

Again, i have no issue with the canon ship itself but ugh, the execution of this "doomed romance" was terrible. Would have loved to see her in Hizuru, looking up happily/sadly at the sunny skies while clutching at her scarf, thinking "thank you for wrapping this scarf around me, and thank you for my life etc" end credits and not that grave kink epilogue she got....BUT OH WELL. The silver lining in this is...uh....Levi was spared from a shit ending, i guess??

Anyway the takeaway here is some mangakas can't write romance for shit its best not to take canon personally, make of it what you will and just enjoy yourself!!!

#thanks for the ask anon #ichiruki #rivamika #anti bleach ending #anti snk ending #anti garbage endings #replies

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jrueships · 2 years

Note

Luka (Keldon’s bf Luka not Luka Luka 💀) changed his Insta pfp to the Joker and reposted a video of the Jake paul fight to his story….. this is absolutely the worst day of my life 😭 KELDON GET YOUR MAN I DONT LIKE THE WAY HES ACTING 😭

OKAY SO... IM GLAD AND ALSO HATE THAT U SAID THIS CUS LIKE... IM NOT TRYING TO REACH OR DIG BUT LIKE... OKAY... JUS HEAR ME OUT... THIS GOT ME A LIL MESSED UP FOR A HOT SEC HANG ON. LEMME TALK BOUT SMTHIN REAL FAST

Okay so.. keldons birthday AND the day luka got waived bcus the nba hates gay people.. keldons getting interviewed on his bday. Love that 4 him! Keldon love!

A reporter asked smthin abt keldons bday, nice small talk, happy keldon, love wins

BUT THEN someone asks how keldon feels about luka getting waived ... and you can just See in keldons face how he Really feels about it.

But he's a professional and doesn't wanna start anything so he basically said like 'things just didn't work out.. y'know?' he just really wants to move on from discussing the topic

BUT THEY KEEP ASKING!! because they did their research and SAW how close luka and keldon were and keldons just 💧💧💧 'yknow, yknow, yknow' a keldon classic fill in phrase go to.

Reporter: asks another luka question*

Keldon:

😐. his voice is naturally kinda shakey but you can really hear it kinda tremble, & it's like.. keldon.... you can just say you're sad to see him go... reporters are saying like 'you spent some time in the gleague together' and he's like 'haha yeah... we grew up with each others....' AND ITS LIKE.... KELDONN :-((((.....

reporter: do you feel like this shows how cold business can be sometimes ?

Keldon: haHah well- uh- i mean, I dunno- business is business, yknow ?

Like i Get It, you don't wanna start something ESPECIALLY with the media who take the tiniest statements and snowball them into drama (so kinda what im doin LOL bUT IM DOIN IT FOR PURELY MY OWN ANALYSIS, NOT TO RUIN OR GAIN REP) , but you shouldn't be afraid to express your feelings either !!!!! Like that's one of the things i kinda worry about keldon becoming a bigger front figure for spurs. Like YES i love him getting more attention BUT ITS LIKE... he's becoming the comical, happy go-lucky rep n that's CUTE but like... keldon.. u don't Have to be happy or funny all the time... im not saying what he presents isn't real, but he Is a pretty big showoff. Likes impressing people and keeping them happy.. i dunno.. i just want him to know he can be sad sometimes!!!! It's okay!!!!

AND THEN THE WHOLE LUKA THING... OKAY.. SO... instagram luka is. Wow. Okay.

The joker pfp change??!?? OMG... THANK U FOR TELLING ME. i don't really keep up with others social media unless i remember to check in every now n then out of curiosity, so i take ANY media updates from anyone i can Get. thank u and also ARRRGH for this info bcus... it's only adding more ideas into my head that i Do Not like....

So the joker pfp. From the newer movie joker😭😭 YIKES. Men really love turning to that for feelings ... so he in his feelings... the Jake Paul fight... im not even gonna Speak on that BUT BASICALLY... bruh turning to weird shit out of personal feelins. he wylin and keldon isn't getting him. He wylin BECAUSE keldon isn't getting him.

He just posted some will smith thing ( which is like. Don't even get me started on will idek WHATS goin on with him... ) and the video was basically will saying smthin about the road to success being a journey you have to go on alone?? And people won't believe you can do it? IDK i have bad memory but it was basically some lone wolf anguish and it's like.... yikes..

SO WHAT I MEAN IS... u got professionalism keldon and isolation luka which is Not a good combo... but an even worse cause and effect.

You got keldon in an interview trying to smile his way through tough questions about his (boy)friend getting waived and then his (boy)friend jokerfies himself and becomes obsessed with the idea of clawing your way upstream with the entire world turning against you . Like. Yikes. Yikes yikes. YKNOW cus it's not like deebos trade then kyle answering interviews with 'my friends upset so im upset.' you get... 'business is business... yknow ? '

and its not like luka got Traded, he got straight Cut. Not even trade material. while he doesn't get the inhumane feeling of only being a pawn in a giant trade game, he gets no feelings at all. Not from his team and not from keldon, not in public , anyways. And it's Understandable . But it Hurts. Because it's understandable .

#NAMEAN ????#WHAT I MEAN IS.... LIKE.#the idea of luka getting cut and then watching his friend have to act like hes not that affected when he Is #because he doesnt wanna disrupt or cause anything #it hurts #he cant say any feel bad stuff about his Friend and that makes Sense #but i think what luka feels anyways is that even tho it made sense to keep feelings out of sports .. it doesnt mean it didnt hurt #its like that little kinda self centered part of you that wants someone to just. stick up for you even tho u know u might be in the wrong #u just want someone in ur corner #and to have keldon.. a guy known for being in EVERYONES corner and talking and laughing and being Everyones Corner..#suddenly just. Not be in it anymore.. when you want him the most.. it kinda hurts.#so yeah... literally keldon COME get your MANS #he is ACTIN UP !!!! thinkin aint nobody got him and hes gotta be in this shit by himself #when he literally doesnt have to #like he believes in getting up and doing better hes not rlly crushed by defeat he still has Drive #but he just doesnt think anyone else believes in him now and hes added that to his motivation #some ppl always have a bulldog mentality but that doesnt mean that they dont want love!!!!#IDK IM A LITTLE WORRIED...#keldons follower mentality is so obvious....#ANYWAYS YEA THANKS FOR THIS ASK IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE #ITS BEEN BUGGIN ME... WORRYIN ME... I DONT LIKE THIS CHANGE ???? I JUST WANT THEM TO BE BOYFRIENDS AGAIN!!!#TELL ME UR THOUGHTS!!!!!@#keldon #keldon/luka #ted asks #to think this all became big bcus a stupid joker pfp change... shoutout to one of the biggest red flags of all humanity #da jokah babay

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albatris · 3 years

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HI hello hope you're enjoying this nice rainy Tuesday, I was listening to 'The Only House That's Not On Fire (Yet)' and I know it's a ATDAO bop and I was just curious as to how exactly? May I request a Ramble? As in-depth as you would care to be? Thank you thank you

hey hey hello hi!! I am enjoying this nice rainy-Tuesday-that-is-now-a-not-rainy-Thursday c: I hope you're enjoying it also, hope you're goin good, hope you're up to all sorts of cool stuff!

thank you for the question!!! I am always always excited at any opportunity to ramble about ATDAO song choices so as soon as I saw this in my inbox my thoughts started going a billion miles an hour

anyway, hey, yeah, ramble time! ramble might be a little fuzzily-worded because my brain is a little fuzzily-everythinged but hopefully it makes enough sense ahaha

ok, so!

this one is a bit of a peculiarity on the ATDAO playlist, actually! it falls into the category of "this song doesn't have an awful lot of direct plot relevance and is mostly just here because Vibes" yet, somehow, if pressed to name the song on the playlist that encapsulates ATDAO best as a whole, I would say it comes pretty close to the top spot :P

so, yes, a lot of the specifics of the lyrics don't particularly fit if we're thinking in literal terms......... the ENERGY is unparalleled though. HOWEVER I do have some particular parts of the song I can direct your attention to, of course, which I'll get into in a sec -

but ya, as for the song as a whole? it's the cheerful, upbeat acceptance of a series of completely bizarre circumstances! it's just a good bop for being like Welp I Guess This Is My Life Now. and being so accustomed to the completely bonkers state of your reality that it's all just completely mundane to you, which parallels to ATDAO so nicely

plus the start of the second verse, like so

I feel strangely regular / but honestly I prefer it to the usual bizarre / damn that oxymoron

AND the very...... feeling....... concept.....? of this being the only house that's not on fire yet is just kind of like........ I mean, whatever the narrator of the song is involved in, it very much gives me the impression of being entirely at the whims of some force that's volatile and completely incomprehensible

with the "yet" being crucial

But something keeps me as a pet / the only house that's not on fire yet

combined with the general tone of the music gives me the image of just like. sitting on ur front porch sipping a margarita, having just watched the rest of your street devolve into chaos and fire knowing you're completely at the mercy of something bizarre and all-powerful and just being like. "hm. yikes. anyway--"

it's a good tone for the general state of the ATDAO world, which is full of people going about their everyday lives against this bizarre backdrop of ever-present looming apocalyptic dread, completely at the whims of a chaotic and indifferent universe

the world is ending! the world is ending! a reality-warping sinkhole just opened in your local bowling alley! but in more pressing concerns, you're almost out of milk, you should try and get to the store before it closes or your mum won't have anything for her cereal tomorrow morning

another point I wanna address is the bridge (?) which is just

the punchline is that there is no punchline

repeated over and over, which is the kicker for this song in its relation to ATDAO imo

'cause like

the theme in ATDAO that keeps coming back and the main......... antagonistic......... concept? force? The Thing The Protagonists Are Constantly Up Against And Struggling With In Some Fashion Or Another? is simply "there is no meaning to this, there is no answer, there is no grand puzzle to be solved, this is all just cold and unfeeling cosmic machinery that doesn't even know you exist"

quite literally, if this is the universe's idea of a joke, there's no punchline

like, the things that happen to Tris and Noa (and Shara and Kai), the things that set the plot in motion, these are acts of chance, these are people being in the wrong place at the wrong time, these are ordinary human people getting swept up into the gears of this endless grinding machine they can barely comprehend and There Is No Point To It. There Is No Motivation Behind It. it happens because it happens!

and there's this shift from like..... seeing it through this very human lens, being angry AT something, being angry AT a particular force, trying to reason with it, trying to plead with it, trying to make it hear you......... to the realisation that there's nothing on the other end of it, there's nothing there to hear you, nothing to take the force of your anger and fear. and like, you knew you were alone, but you're only just realising you're ALONE

n just. "there is no punchline" just clicks FANTASTICALLY for that

(n of course, that's..... grim. so it bears repeating that, like...... the whole heart and soul of ATDAO is people coming face-to-face with the reality of an uncaring unfeeling universe and deciding, Hey, No, Fuck You. it's people caring about people, intentionally, purposefully, violently, no matter the costs! it's the human capacity for love and kindness and connection in the face of horror and indifference! and it matters! even if it doesn't matter at all, it matters!! it matters here and now in this tiny speck of time and space!! love is at the centre of everything!! it's the single greatest act of defiance against the nothing!!!!)

(and that's not relevant to this post at all, I just would have hated to leave on that sort of note LMAO)

long story short: tune good c:

#atdao #a lot of my Just Here Because Vibes songs are ones i'm vaguely annoyed at cuz like #they FIT but they don't FIT-fit y'know?#they're ATDAO-adjacent #they don't add much to the core of the playlist or express the plot in any meaningful way #this song is the exception to that ahahaha #but also as i was typing up this explanation i was like ''wait a minute this is not Just Vibes at all''#oh there's plenty of very concrete reasons this song fits the story actually. i get it now #anyway #i feel like i've mentioned in the past that #''the only house that's not on fire yet'' and ''the nothing'' by freelance whales r two songs that #if you put them in a blender and set it to high and mixed 'em up real good. the end result would be something #that more or less resembles the kind of vibe / genre / feel I want ATDAO to have #i have also i think quoted the only house that's not on fire yet as ''the only motherfucker on this planet who gets my artistic vision''#which is. hm #i don't know about that but also yeah #half the lyrics may not be plot relevant but boy is it a Fucking Mood

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admiringlove · 2 years

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sammie! i feel like i've been ignoring you; my bad, sorry ;-;

how was the weekend??

here's a question (acknowledge my poor attempts at getting to know you more): what's your favourite piece of lyric and why?

hey no, dw about it. i've been kinda absent and hovering over tumblr because of my own mental health issues atm so it's okay! my weekend was actually okay, i went to a café w my friends to catch up!

hm. this is really really hard. any music related question and i have like a few(by few i mean like 20) different songs in my head, different lyrics etc etc. so, again, here's a few of my favorites.

#1. "i could feel the mascara run / you told me that you met someone / glass shattered on the white cloth / everybody moved on." - right where you left me, by taylor swift.

this one has a lot to do with my past i guess. this song just. it feels like a page out of my actual life which is scary.

#2. "we know what hell look like / still, it's a hell of a life, yikes / guess who's goin' to jail tonight." - jail, by kanye west.

okay it's about to get philosophical in here. so basically. i interpret this line in a way of like, just live your life however you want to because as long as you're alive, there will always be problems? we know what hell looks like already because life is hell, and this is it. your one chance.

#3. "this dream isn't feeling sweet / we're reeling through the midnight streets / and i've never felt more alone / it feels so scary getting old." - ribs, by lorde.

alright so. another life lesson type of lyric where it shows that just growing up in life doesn't ever turn out the way you thought it'd be like as a kid. life becomes dull, it's not sunshine rainbows or dreams don't always get fulfilled. and that's scary as hell.

OKAY THAT'S IT I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LONG 💀💀

#incoming; ril ❄️#ALSO THANK YOU??#this ask just brightened my day #idk why i always love it when people ask me things #about my interests #<333 #everyone send love to ril right now 😡#to: sam.

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eternalgoldfish · 4 years

Text

Steve wakes in Billy’s bed.

Steve never wakes in Billy’s bed.

But the sun is shining, and Steve’s eyes are crusted with sleep, and Billy’s back is warm and solid where it’s pressed against his, their legs touching, Billy’s dorm-issued twin-sized bed hardly large enough for one full-grown man, let alone two. Steve doesn’t remember getting under the covers, or Billy wishing him goodnight.

But the sun is shining, and Steve wonders what Billy would do if Steve rolled over an tucked an arm around his waist, pressed kisses into his neck. Steve wonders what Billy would do if Steve curled them together and called him baby.

They’re wearing underwear, so at some point, they got out of bed.

It’s not that Steve doesn’t remember anything. He remembers sitting in Billy’s car -- almost jerking off in Billy’s car. He remembers whining against Billy’s lips with Billy inside him -- Billy’s hot thighs between Steve’s legs, Billy’s fingernails digging into Steve’s hips.

He remembers falling on Billy, which. The universe couldn’t have let him get away with one bit of dignity in all that, huh?

Up until that point, he thought he’d been doing pretty fucking well, thank you very much.

Billy’d laughed and laughed, and pulled Steve on his side, and jerked Steve off until Steve was gasping and coming, toes curling, feeling drunk, and eager, and toomuchnotenoughpleasedon’tstop.

There’s just a gap in time there, clearly, because fucking into Billy’s fist doesn’t equate to waking up in his sheets.

So, Steve stays like that, back to back with Billy, wonders how much time he has until Billy wakes up, asks him to leave. Wonders how it could go if he pressed a kiss to Billy’s shoulder, danced his fingers over Billy’s arm hair, flicked his foot a certain way. Unlikely butterfly theory shit, and all that.

Then Billy fucking rolls over and wraps an arm around him, giving him a sleepy squeeze. “Dude, why’re you still here?” Billy asks.

And that’s a fucking mixed signal, Jesus Christ. But Steve has been thinking exactly the same thing, so, “If you didn’t want me to stay--”

“What?” Billy lets go of him and sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. His bun is a lop-sided disaster, but the pendent resting against his chest is gold. “It’s Friday,” he says. “You have economics at ten, or whatever, don’t you?”

And Steve does, but.

“Fuck,” Steve gets out of bed and scrabbles for his phone in his jeans, says, “Fuck,” because it’s nine forty-two.

“Bye?” Billy offers.

“Fuck.”

---

Steve’s skipped classes before, but the thing is, his mom has been wild lately about his grades, and he’s kind of bombing economics, so it’s kind of fucking important that he gets there on time, and that he actually fucking listens and takes notes, and behaves.

He’s five minutes late, but he gets there, which is kind of the point.

Not that his mind is on economics.

He’s too hung over, too weirdly wired. There’s something under his skin that he can’t itch, and for once it’s not his dick chubbing up in his jeans because Billy is sending him nudes before lunchtime.

(Although his phone does keep lighting up, so.)

(He thinks it’s maybe his heart chubbing up, and that’s definitely not good for his cholesterol, or the sticky notes left on Billy’s door, or what he’s supposed to tell his parents when they ask about his love life at Christmas.)

When he checks his phone, there are no nudes, just two texts that say,

found ur thong princess

goin 2 jerk off w it

And Steve has no fucking clue what he could have even left at Billy’s, but it definitely wasn’t a thong. He actually doesn’t even think it’s anything, just another one of Billy’s weird ways of making him fuck up in class, but it still twists something in Steve’s chest, something weird-bad. Like thinking about Billy’s other guys when they fuck -- and other girls, apparently, girls who wear thongs, so.

Steve texts back, Not mine, sorry, must be your mom’s.

Billy doesn’t text back a long while, so like, maybe he’s blown his load, or maybe he just thinks Steve is boring for not playing along. Whatever. Steve has like, actual things he needs to be doing.

But with half an hour left in class, Steve’s phone finally lights up, like, My mom left when I was ten.

And well. What? What? Steve didn’t know that, doesn’t even know how Billy feels about that, like, if he’s angry, or upset, or fucking like, anything. He tries to scroll up through their conversations looking for an answer, but he’s coming up with nothing, just raunchy one-liners and sweaty dick picks. Billy’s barbed wire and crucifix, sandy skin, golden hair.

He doesn’t know a fucking thing about Billy.

How Billy’s dick tastes doesn’t count.

---

Steve doesn’t know what to say, so he just doesn’t. Like a fucking coward. He slinks to the library after class like maybe things’ll just work out if he lets them cook for a while. Like maybe all the weirdness from this morning will gloss over if he pretends it didn’t happen.

No cigar.

Billy flops into the chair across the table from him like this is nothing, normal, and Steve guesses it is, because they do study together, sometimes, but not together-together, so. Billy’s not even taking out his books, just tipping his head slightly and running his tongue over his teeth.

“Sorry?” Steve offers, like a moron.

Billy scrunches up his nose. “Sorry for what?”

And Steve doesn’t really know, so.

After a pause, Billy huffs and pushes back his hair. He’s got tacky diamond studs in his ears, the kind that make Steve want to tug on them with his teeth, see what they’re really made out of. Billy crosses his arms, says, “Guess I didn’t tell you about my fucked up family, then?” and they might as well be in the fucking Twilight Zone.

“No, uh,” Steve clears his throat, winces slightly. “We haven’t really had time?” Between all fucking. Yikes.

“Well,” Billy sneers, like, “My mom flaked, my dad is an abusive asshole, my step-mom might as well be a cardboard cut-out of a human, and my step-sister is a huge fucking bitch. I don’t want to talk about it.”

The thing is, in person, Steve can’t just leave Billy on read when he doesn’t know what the fuck to say, so he’s stuck just kind of staring, mouth partly open, running through all the whats and whys and hows. Processing months knowing Billy, fucking Billy after a party, waking up in Billy’s arms, and now whatever the fuck this is.

“You know what, fuck this.”

“Wait--” Steve snaps his books shut as Billy gets to his feet. “Sorry? Just. Sorry, I guess. Fuck. I just didn’t know what to say to that earlier, you know? A thong? That text might not have even been for me.”

“Who else could it have fucking been for?”

“I don’t know? Someone else you’re--”

Billy laughs, kind of mean. “I’m not hooking up with anyone else, you idiot. What was it you said, I ‘haven’t really had time’? I could have had anyone I wanted at that party.”

And Steve knows that, even though Billy is contradicting himself. Knowing it’s not making it any fucking better. Kind of just makes Steve want to die.

“But you wanted to fuck me.”

“Yeah, I wanted to fuck you.”

They’re talking way too loud for being in the quiet study zone.

“Do you want to fuck me right now?”

“I kind of want to punch your face in.”

Steve lets out a slow breath. “Cool, so we’re just back in fucking September again.”

Billy snatches his keys from where he threw them on the table and grabs his bag from the floor. “Shut the fuck up, come on.”

But Billy doesn’t punch him when they get outside the building, like he might have in September. He crowds Steve up against the wall, pushes Steve’s shoulders until his head hits brick. With the way the stairs jut out, there is just enough space between them and the hedges that they probably won’t get seen, and Steve’s worried about no one finding his corpse for about five seconds before Billy’s lips are on his, kisses all clicking teeth and fingers digging into his sweater.

It should make him angry.

It’s kind of erotic.

(It’s kind of confusing, but Billy’s slipping his hand into his sweatpants, and they’re kind of in public, and Steve really doesn’t need a criminal history, but)

He bucks against Billy’s palm, wants his hands on Billy’s skin. Wants to think this is maybe a solution, with Billy’s teeth grazing over his neck, Billy laughing softly in his ear.

“You like to get off in public?” he asks, and Steve is pretty positive he’s shut that down about a million times, but Billy’s kissing him in earnest, playing with his cock, and well.

Steve can’t exactly hide how fucking hard he is when things are already this far gone.

“You got something to say to me, Pretty Boy?”

Steve tugs on Billy’s hair. “Like what?”

“A sorry, maybe, since I’m being so forgiving.”

“I said sorry,” but it’s shaky, kind of airy. “If the campus police--”

“Guess you better be quick, then.”

And Billy is confusing, disgusting, infuriating, gorgeous, and Steve is a complete dumbass, so he whines, “C’mon, I’ll blow you in my room--” which absolutely does not work.

“Or you could blow me here.”

Which Steve is definitely not going to do, but the idea makes his breath catch, has him moaning softly as Billy tugs on his bottom lip. Faintly, he realizes he had more resolve when he was drunk than he does now, and that’s not something he really wants to investigate, not when he’s unzipping Billy’s jeans and jerking Billy in return, heart thumping and skin tingling each time the library door opens and slams shut.

Billy’s teeth are on his cheek, breathing hot in his ear, murmuring, “Someone is going to hear you,” like Billy isn’t also making noise with every breath, fucking into Steve’s hand like they’re on a clock. Like he’s trying to get Steve’s hand fucking pregnant.

“Sorry,” Steve says, mostly a gasp. “Sorry, sorry.”

Meaningless. Billy doesn’t need it, can’t with how smug he is when Steve comes first, with how he almost breaks their cover laughing when he wipes Steve’s come on the inside of Steve’s sweatpants. He comes with his nose in Steve’s neck, hands gripping Steve’s hips, and it’s.

Well, it’s kind of mortifying.

But Billy is laughing again, knocking away Steve’s hand so he can fix himself back in his jeans, and Steve should be angry, but.

“What was that about blowing me on your rich boy sheets?” Billy asks.

They have to change their pants now anyway.

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #stranger things #fanfiction #stranger things fanficton #my fic #does anyone even remember that i WRITE THESE i am sorry

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thefirsthogokage · 3 years

Text

OMG

I am watching worst cooks in America.

WOW

Season 6, Episode 1 - SPOILERS

One lady killed her dog with the her awful food. I almost slipped this season because of that.

"Is this an onion or a potato?"

"Does any see the goose fat." Can't find it, thinks GUMMY BEARS will be a good equivalent and make her dish a "showstopper" and show that she is artistic.

Woman is trying to cut the gummy bears.

The male chef: "Christina, do me a favor. I'm a [unintelligible] that-that knife has a sheath on top of it. Right? Take it off. Take the knife guard off. There's a knife underneath that."

Christina: "I was wondering why [unintelligible and laughing] there wasn't a blade."

Female chef, sarcastically, but upbeat: "She's a smarty."

Christina, trying to cut the gummy bear with the WRONG EDGE OF A BREAD KNIFE.

Female chef: "Turn the knife over!"

Male Chef: "Turn your knife around." (x2)

Christina: "For a sharper cut or what?"

Male chef: "You want to cut something with the sharpe end of the knife. That's just my opinion."

Christina: "Ok."

Female chef: "and you wonder how these people get along in life."

MY GOD I AM LESS THAN TEN MINUTES INTO THIS SHOW

David: "I've got a french bulldog. She'll eat her own poo, but she won't eat my own food."

Female Chef: "David's fascination with meatloaf animals is...a bit perplexing."

SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL CAKE WTF?!

Female chef: "oh look the first thing she has on her board is a bottle of wine."

Oh, the person she's talking about is an art teacher. Some things are making sense now.

Sarah, this woman, proceeds to pretend to be Julia Childs.

Sarah: "I don't really follow directions. I base my cooking time oh how many glasses of wine it might take me - OMG SHE POURED WINE INTO A LADLE AND DRANK IT - to finish a dish. I love cooking with wine!"

Still holding the ladle: "Half the bottle for me. Half the bottle for...sauce?"

Her bench partner, Genique, comes over and gets a sip from the laddle.

Genique, whose cooking is "like the G-spot,": "Wait until I get the gravy-oh I left a piece of paper in there." (It was a piece of plastic)

Jason, right on combining the flavors of applesauce with mashed potatoes...

He is cutting the apple poorly.

Jason: "I think my cooking is very creative. The goal is to make it edible."

Stephanie: oh god, problem child.

I took a break and took a shower. I am at most 15 minutes into this.

Stephanie, sweetie, you do NOT know how to make a fried egg. Then again, I don't either, I just know THAT is not a fried egg.

Aww, the male chef thinks Leo has a nice high step.

Leo: "they took Leo from Rio, but never Rio from Leo." Atta boy Leo!

"My cooking is very very very very bad."

LOOK WE HAVE A SELF-AWARE ONE!

Male Chef: xI swear to God, I have no idea how Anne does this everyday."

So, I the female chef's name is Anne. I think I saw her compete on Guy's Grocery Games. God I love that show.

Male Chef: "This is a very very special place."

He's not digging this job very much.

She not looking forward to tasting their food.

OMG LOOK WHILE YOU'RE CUTTING, MORON! THAT'S EVEN WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT! HOW YOU ALWAYS NEED TO LOOK WHILE YOU'RE CUTTING!

"what kind of oil is Canola?"

What's her name...must rewind...Kristen.

HOLY SHIT HER FAMILY ARE COOKS AND HER DAD IS A CHEF AND OWNS HE'S OWN RESTAURANT! WHERE DID THEY GO SO WRONG?!

Turned out the guy who called the female chef Hon.

Susie who doesn't eat the thing she's cooking, but her husband apparently loves it.

Chef Anne: "microwaving a potato in a plastic bag? That's priceless." Can't remember the girl's name, but she said she learned it from the male chef, who's name is apparently Tyler.

OMG GUMMY BEAR LADY/CHRISTINA WAS TRYING TO MAKE MATZO BALL SOUP?! WITH FUCKING GUMMY BEARS?!

Oh, btw, they are going around and trying these dishes. I don't envy them.

G SHE TURNED THE MEAT INTO ROCKS.

I'm surprised you have any taste buds left too, Chef Tyler.

How is there potential in any of these people?

Oh god, these people are insane.

And now they will be learning to cook.

Ahhhh, they're going to be cooking with aphrodisiacs.

Oh good for baked potato girl, she recognized the dish with French. But she couldn't recognize filet mignon as beef. She thought it was a fish.

Yeesh.

I can't remember who this girl is: Chef Tyler cut the mushroom, and she is genuinely bewildered: "how did you just do that without cutting your thumb off?"

"Because I know where my thumb is."

YIKES.

Ahh, she's "scared to death of knives." My gods.

Chef Tyler is making something more complicated then Chef Anne. Asshole.

And off they go!

Teddy Bear Meatloaf Guy: "I've have no experience with actual food."

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T HOLD A KNIFE AND TRY TO CUT LIKE THAT!

Ahh, Bagged Baked Potato girl is named Courtney (spelling?). I'm not goin. To remover that. I've already forgotten everyone but Christina.

Christina tasted her whatever is was, and dumbed the rest back in in front of the chef. She has to start that bit over.

I need to eat the food I've made, but I'm too shocked by all this.

Drinking lady is drinking again. Her brother is a chef.

WHY AM I WATCHING THIS?!

OMG CHRISTINA TASTED IT AND DUMPED IT BACK IN AGAIN!

I can't do this to myself, omg. Why am I doing this to myself? WHY?!

Courtney is calling the herbs trees. I

YOU HAVE NO INTUITION AND THAT'S NOT THE RECIPE!

I might have to stop watching this show.

Oh thank God, they are done cooking.

I hope this turns out to be a happy story, I really do.

OMG SARAH (CRAZY ART TEACHER) COOKED HER MEAT THE BEST! And Chef Tyler was spot on about her focus.

I think Chef Anne's team is doing better that Chef Tyler's team.

Side note: for the fourth time in ... For the fifth time in 3 minutes, I have to get my cat's toy out from under the TV stand.

Oh good! Norman won on Che Anne's team.

CONGRATS TO SARAH TOO!

Aww, the two contestants are holding hands.

Poor Christina. I was hoping she would last longer.

Poor Jason, but he doesn't listen.

Ok. That, was something.

Don't know if I'm going to do the next episode or not.

#worst cooks in america #my transcripts might not be 100% accurate #but you'll get the picture

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meepmoopfanfics · 4 years

Text

you don’t get a win unless you’re playing the game: Daveed Diggs x Reader Chapter 3 Part 2

The whirlwind of the party swept you off of your feet. You were beginning to feel on the drunk side. You met every single one of the OG members, laughing alongside them, dancing along side them. Everything began to blur together. Everyone was pretty drunk and you began to brown out a bit. Your fave dance of the night so far was a tie between your dance with Phillipa and her husband to Bust A Move or you, Oak, Jazz, and Ant’s moment scream-singing No Air in terribly off pitch.

“Y/N, there you ARE!” You looked over to see Michelle dancing, hanging on to Cedric laughingly. Cedric looked please so you smiled flirtatiously at the two of them.

 “My faves!!!!” You were happy to feel a sense of normalcy creep back into this chaotically amazing evening.

“Where the hell have you been?” Cedric asked.

“Nah the real question is where have the two of YOU been?!”

They both laughed. There was a visible hickey on Cedric’s neck, but I don’t think he figured that out quite yet.

“I saw ya over there chatting up Diggs!” Cedric raised his eyebrows.

Diggs. Shit. Where’d he go?

“Speaking of Diggs... where is he?”

Both Michelle and Cedric shrugged.

You began to pace through the large penthouse apartment and saw Rafa laughing with your fellow castmates watching random YouTube videos on the movie room tv.

No Diggs.

You searched the bedrooms. All doors locked with the lights off.

You finally got to the powder room and opened the door. There he was, on the phone.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He mouthed without letting out any sound.

“Sorry sorry sorry” you whispered as you began to shut the door behind you.

He stopped you from shutting the door and waved you in.

“Ya brah, it’s all good. Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure out the next steps. I can’t wait. Bye brotha.”

He hung up the phone.

“Have you heard of knocking?” He said, with a slightly disappointed look on his face.

“My castmates were asking where you were so I thought I’d look for you to make sure you were oka.. to make sure everything was okay.” You stumbled a bit as you shut the door behind you. “Everything okay on the phone?”

“Yeah! Just business stuff. The time difference between here and LA is a bitch sometimes.”

There was a pause as he looked down at the floor and then back up at you.

“Diggs, people probably think we’re doing blow in here or something.” You said as you laughed.

He laughed too as he put his arm around you, both of you facing the ceiling to sink mirror covering the wall. Instantly you felt the tension continuing from earlier. He looked at you like you were one of the most precious things he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Look at us. Fuckin HOMIES. We look so damn good. Kith should sponsor us.”

You giggled as you released your nerves, curling your head onto Daveed’s shoulder without even thinking.

He guided you in front of him and he put his hands on your waist.

Fuck.

He nuzzled his face up against the left side of yours. His hair tickling your neck and his scruff brushing against your cheek.

“You’re hella cute, Y/N.” His voice was dropping deeper and getting a lot tougher.

“Thanks Diggs!” You said innocently back trying not to read into anything.

He turned his head to look at your face. Your eyes were still in the mirror. How the hell was this happening?!? He slowly began planting the sweetest kisses all over your cheek. They felt quite naive. You didn’t think this would go any further. You giggled playfully as he squeezed you into a hug from behind.

That’s when you felt him, up against you, filling out his pants.

Not on the first night. Not on the first night. Not on the first night. You kept repeating to yourself. That’s when the two of you met eyes in the mirror.

“Shit.” You accidentally blurted out.

You turned around to face him. His hands still on your waist. You both stared at each other breathlessly. He still towered over you, even though you were in your suede platform boots.

In a second he picked you up to sit you on the sink carefully, yet forcefully, keeping his left hand on your right hip, bringing his right hand behind your neck.

Then, your lips crashed into one another. Hard. You moaned into his mouth and he reciprocated. He slowly started to intertwine his tongue with yours, stopping every now and again to suck on your neck and nibble your ear. The hand behind his neck guided your head. The kisses were beyond incredible. The only thing slightly off putting were that his lips way larger than yours and his scruff was for sure scratching your sensitive skin on your chin, making it irritated. You could give less of a fuck.

You felt yourself getting so hot and heavy. You were wet. Drunkenly, you reached your right hand to stroke his cock over his jeans.

“Fuck...” he whispered under his breath.

You felt how well endowed he was through his light wash jeans. All you could think was how difficult it would be to fit inside, but you’d do anything for it. For him. You were desperate.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“What in GOD’S name is goin on in there Diggs?! You takin a dump?” You heard the familiarity of Rafa’s high pitched drunken voice through the door. He cracked it open... you forgot to lock it. “HellooooooOoO?!” He said as he pushed the door open.

The two of you parted immediately. You sat there, red in the face, on the sink, specifically scratched up on the chin from Daveed’s scruff, out of breath. Daveed took a step back, looking wide eyed at his friend.

“Oh... Oh!!! FUCK!! I’m so sorry...... Continue!” He shouted and slammed the door.

This jolted you sober. Your heart was visibly pounding in your neck. Diggs started scratching his head, pulling his hair nervously. All you could do was laugh.

“Maybe we should continue this another night? Somewhere a little more comfortable?”

“I’m in, I’m in.” He said looking away.

“Sorry to leave you hanging.” You planted one more slow, sensual kiss into his lips while grabbing the chest of his hoodie. “Who knew Kith would’ve brought us together like this?” It took every last bit of your control to stop yourself from ripping off your matching hoodies.

“You’re tellin me...”

You opened the door to see Rafa and Ant staring at you glaringly.

You looked back at Daveed and looked back at them.

You all erupted into a never ending fit of laughter.

Lin was right. This was your fucking family. You were so ready for this next chapter of your life. Whatever you and Daveed just got yourself into was not a mistake.

—-

You slowly made your rounds and said your goodbyes, ordering your $55 uber (yikes) back up to the heights.

Diggs kissed your hand and waited for your uber to pick you up safely.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s your number? I want you to text me when you get home.”

You smiled as you typed it into his iPhone. You hopped into the uber and smiled like an idiot with the window down the entire 45 mins home.

You reached your apartment, climbed 4 flights up, stumbled in, taking your suede shoes off and putting your sweatpants on. You decided you weren’t gonna take the hoodie off. It smelled like him.

Your phone vibrates.

“Maybe: Diggs” it reads.

You open it.

2:14am “Hey it’s Diggs. Make it home safe?”

2:14am “Just got in. Safe and sound 😊”

2:16am “Good good. I’ll see you on Monday gorgeous”

2:17am “Looking forward to it”

You kept typing and deleting a second message... you decided to shoot your shot.

2:22am “Looking forward to finishing what we started earlier too 😉”

Now the text anxiety settled in.

The last think you remember seeing before passing out was opening Twitter and seeing this:

9:37PM