#me at my best compared to my worst

[lesbienneanarchiste]

My younger cousin got a promotion at work so my aunt, uncle, both cousins, and one of their boyfriends all went to this restaurant that's $200 a person (or more w drinks) and I'm sitting here playing monopoly on my phone listening to 80s pop songs while my parents doze on the couch beside me and my big win of the day was taking a shower

#if even one person says 'its not healthy to compare uwu everyone has their own path to follow' im gonna BLOCK #i just want like. a single thing to go my way that i get to show off as an accomplishment #its not wrong of me to want to hit milestones that are valued in my culture #and acting like 'showering' and whatever the fuck level my cousins are on are comparable is unhelpful at best and insulting at worst #disgruntled octopus #ive already been trying to avoid thinking about valentines day as a whole bc it makes me wanna kms so like. this doesnt help

[thetriangletattoo]

.

#the way managing my family on my graduation day gives me more anxiety than the actual graduation #11 people every one with their own demands one worst than the other #the only thing i want to do is go to the bar and stay there until past closing time and just chill #instead i get dinner where are we having dinner did you order cake when are you going to order cake oh but i want that and i want that and #there's a bunch of children which will probably be on their best behaviour compared to the adults #and i did not think it through when i picked a very lgnt theme for my thesis #bc my family from very south italy is coming here and is going ro see it all #which is not a real problem #but 1/3 of them won't have any idea what I'm talking about #another 1/3 won't particularly agree with my theme #and the other 1/3 will be chill about it #but like public speaking is a problem I'll face later bc i really can't think about it now or I'll postpone the whole thing bc I'd rather #die then speak publicly #lgbt theme*

[juice-enjoyer]

being on tumblr more and seeing literally no discourse has made me realize

1. how much I need to do a serious purge of my twitter timeline

2. how fucking irritating my twitter tl is

#sorry for the negativity ill probably delete this later #i am an adult i dont want to see discourse over fucking fiction anymore #i just feel kind of bad for the people that constantly engage with it now #txt #if im gonna see people get mad about stuff on the tl id rather it be about real shit #not a 10000 word essay on why everyone that doesnt enjoy things the same way you do is wrong and why every video game is awful and terrible #negative #like one of my mutuals deactivated recently and it made my tl so much more peaceful but two of my mutuals still just constantly engage in #discourse over completely inane shit. it drives me insane. #the one that deactivated always had just the worst opinion of every other video game and like four of our shared mutuals treated their word #like gospel and would also proceed to shit on that game relentlessly #happened with bg3. then that mutual found wotr and decided it was the best game ever made so our shared mutuals also agreed it was the best #game ever made and have been posting about it nonstop for months #and every time they post about it they have to compare it to bg3 for some reason? and talk about why bg3 is so bad and everyone that likes #it is an idiot for liking it #like omfg guys . you can enjoy something without comparing it to other things. It feels like you just enjoy things out of spite.

[josephtrohman]

guys i literally feel so nervous i might puke and it’s the night before the concert. how am i supposed to feel ok actually GOING

#i’m also kind of stressed out planning how early we should leave and i. ugh. #it matters a lot to me obviously so i’m really in my own head thinking about it all. every possibility. #i think it’s a lot bc i’m VERYYYY out of practice for concerts and the last one i went to 4 years ago was like. a tiny venue compared to thi #and this is my fav band ever of ever and i have regrets about the one time i saw fob in 2016 that i wish to be different this time #and i’m like oh man what if they play a song i don’t like as much for 8 ball. even tho they could play almost anything and id scream and die #anyways sorry guys for being vulnerable but i’ve cried a few times and tom had to comfort me and talk me through it #anyways AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i just need to keep telling myself it’ll be one of the best nights of my life no matter what happens. #no matter if we’re at the back of the pit and they play [redacted] for the 8 ball song and everything. it’ll be still so amazing. #but it’s hard :( #i also think part of it is i’m very hormonal and my period just came at the worst time AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[glitter50000]

We acknowledge that Baghra wasn’t a good mother but also that her own trauma and the environment they lived in had not helped at all in this house

#I’m about to be petty as fuck right now so excuse my rant #Don’t come to me messaging me about how Baghra’s a bad parent believe me I know #In fact if I DON’T see her as a bad parent or I see ppl say she was a good parent then it just doesn’t make sense to me #Like she was decent at best #Every time I see ppl being like “smh she was so overprotective of him 🙄” or something like that it’s just like #Well when EVERYTHING is basically trying to kill you… #Also like the whole oh she told him grisha were superior why would she do that #Her own mother literally told her she was an abomination for her powers I don’t think she wanted him to ever feel like that himself #You’re trying to tell me that the woman who legit burned villages down to keep her child safe is a horrible mother??? #Don’t come trying to tell me she’s a good mother either cause then it’s like uhhhhhh are you sure about that? #I mean look at Aleksander. Like CENTURIES of mommy issues right there I don’t know what to tell you #Baghra just gets a gold star that says “you tried” #I made this cause I’d see ppl trying to compare the two’s trauma or something like who had it worst or who WAS worse #Or that because Baghra was a bad mother suddenly her trauma doesn’t exist #Oh Baghra was worse cause of “x” oh Aleksander was worse cause of “y” #NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE THEY’RE BOTH TERRIBLE PEOPLE #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone season 2 #Shadow and bone #baghra morozova

[shararan]

i think krita is starting to feel a bit better finally....???? figured out how to best adjust key shortcuts and after 2 months or so the default brushes are actually meshing with me now that i can better feel how similar they are to the ones i always use in csp.... tbh i might just consider using that and csp both side by side once i build my new desktop, theyre different enought to force different things out of me and i find that fun and refreshing honestly

#i struggle going outside my comfort zone these days compared to before with increasing physical issues #since its frustrating to feel like i wasted the few times i can sit and draw only to accomplish nothing of worth #but i need to learn how to best rest and how to best make use of the time i have #and keep practicing doing things in more smaller sessions #basically somehow defeat the adhd hyperfocus hard mode boss LMAO #it will be good for me though hyperfocusing is THE worst thing idk how anyone can enjoy it #both mental and physical anguish for me rip #sharan talks

[tangledfate]

♥ Tag dump, sorry

#{ how can such an innocent woman have such dangerous hands ;; stella | striker } #{ it was love that caught me now it's fear that keeps me with you ;; angel | valentino ;; emperror } #{ then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you ;; angel | husk ;; diresang } #{ you make me feel like dancing ;; angel | husk ;; suchaficklething } #{ baby angels like you can't fly down here with me ;; cherri | pentious } #{ if you can't handle my worst you ain't getting my best ;; angel | valentino ;; daddymothxxx } #{ never sure will you catch me if I should fall ;; overlord au ;; diresang } #{ all gold is fools gold compared to you ;; overlord au ;; gamblingbartender }

[modernmanblues]

I love everything about them. Despite the scandals, rumours, shenanigans, pre and post breakup, their imperfections and every negative thing that’s been said about them. No band is perfect, but in my eyes they’re more than perfect and that’s all a girl could ever wish for.

Led Zeppelin and 10cc. 8 brilliant men. God Bless them all.

#the worst band in the world #the greatest rock n roll band in the world #nothing absolutely nothing compares to them #i feel like i can only say this stuff here #bc i got yelled at by some fan for saying this stuff and they said to me “’well the beatles came first and therefore they’re the best’ #i mean the beatles will always have a special place in my heart but i must say #zeppelin and 10cc..they’re something else man. so many commonalities between both groups #love them with all my heart #led zeppelin #10cc

[deucegorgonz]

gonna say i don't get the hate on g3 deuces doll specifically his face/body mold. say what you want abt g3's fashion but as much as i love g1 deuce his signature doll certainly looked odd at some angles and sometimes it looks like his main outfit didn't fit correctly 😭

and looking back on it in most mh content like the movies and the webisodes he was pretty broad and yet his doll was like. the opposite. though that was kind of common for the boy dolls in general. (it's the most obvious with clawd i think his build was So inconsistent) either way his mold now feels like ... more accurate to g1 deuce in that way in my opinion. he's got some muscle on his arms at least finally

#i hope this makes sense lol i just feel like the body shape/mold they have for him now is just ?? better #not a diss on g1 deuce at all obviously considering my whole account lmao #i love g3 and g1 deuce almost equally besides some personality changes and the loss of his punk esque fashion but DOLL WISE ... #i think g3 body shape/mold wins sorry i think the best thing g1 deuce has is the snakehawk and the pierced ear #the WORST thing abt g3 deuce is the foot articulation and the fact it is an absolute bitch to put his glasses on cus of the snakes #covering one of his ears dont know why they didnt account for that considering his sunglasses are like.. his Thing... #deuce gorgon #monster high #i just think g3 deuce doll hate confuses me if its not abt his clothes so far lol #also applying this to his face obviously like GENUINELY if you compare g3 deuces face to deuce from like the movies they r pretty much #the same. esp the jaw?? in my eyes at least. all g1 deuce dolls faces ive seen from side angles look very . yeah

[reginaofdoctorwho]

me: sleeps for 14-16 hours straight, gets migraines 3 days in a row, get bad leg pain and cramps and can't think

also me: *period shows up* wHAT THE FUCK THIS CAN'T BE THE RIGHT DAY

#dear reader it was the right day i just didn't Think at all #on one hand it sucks on the other it's regular at least? #my sister has endo and we think i might too which is wild but to get that handled in any way i'd probably need a pelvic exam #and i DON'T need thigh scars going on my medical record #like u know when homer simpson got released from the insane asylum in an early season #''stupid stamp! i'm SANE now!'' me w my scars lmao #i have bad days still but even my worst day now does not compare to my best days a few years ago #and that is GOOD for current me

[thewhizzyhead]

what's up my bitches and bros I just turned 19 and I don't feel like it's the end of the world yet so let's fucking gooooo

#an improvement compared to my 18th #aka me singing 30/90 on repeat #fjdjsd i would like to um expect the worst for this year honestly because um yea life shits #but id still like to hope for the best #because now i dunno i think like im finally in my element with whatever the fuck im doing #like the stories i could tell you all on why ive been away from tumblr for a while #id like to think u guys would be proud #anyways #i PROMISE I WILL ANSWER THE ASK BOX SOON JFJXJSJFJSJSJ THAT WILL BE CLEANED #aND I WILL EVEN POP IN MY MUTUALS ASK BOXES FOR CATCHING UP FJDJD ITS BEEN A WHILE #anyways happy 19th to me #personal shit

[southerngothicaf]

Ohh no.

#ignore #clownery ahead #i may be fucked. this concert and this whole trip has like solidified my feelings for my best friend. #like before they were like there and i knew and it was def growing bc of living together and stuff #but i was getting on top of it and being careful and smart about it. ive done it before and everything #but man this whole thing. the way we've interacted #its a level of comfortability we havent really done before. #idfk why maybe bc of like natural progression of friendship idk #i wrapped my arm around her shoulder more today than i probably have in my whole life #we were so touchy at the concert bc yknow we're having fun dancing and singing and stuff. sitting close to each other #but the way my insides go crazy at every touch. whether its her touching my arm with the back of her hand to get my attention and resting #it there for a moment. or the hug we had after the concert that was so fucking strong bc we were both emotional. #i go wild inside im like a fool. all butterflies and warmth and that shit #thats not good to feel about my best friend and roommate 😐 and i know and i gotta work on it and find some solution. #but bro if we keep being this touchy. like if this is just how our friendship is now. #it will be the best and worst thing to happen. because it feels amazing but it will never progress further and god do i want it to #and i gotta stop being jealous abt every dumb guy. its bc of insecurity and i know it. i instantly compare myself in the most painful way #every time she talks abt her crush it hurts so much and i gotta stop myself from thinking those thoughts or lamenting that she will never #talk that way about me or feel that way about me #fuck this is gonna be a rough one #but i am still choosing to not let that tarnish the amazing time i had seeing taylor swift. she was the first artist i ever wanted to see #in concert bc she was like the first artist i ever became a fan of as a lil 6 year old #and i finally got to see her and it was incredible and i wish it had never ended #(and it wouldnt have been as amazing as it was if she hadnt come with me)

[theoldaeroplane]

The last year, year and a half has just felt like one extended exercise in truly realizing how varied humans are culturally and as a species, how little we know about our surroundings and selves, how harmful unquestioned assumptions can be to us and others. We are the first animals with sapience. We don't know anything

#i still don't know what my beliefs are these days #the world seems too strange and well knit to be totally chance #the beliefs instilled in me as a child seem to be almost all unhelpful at best and dangerous at worst #I've been doomscrolling a lot lately specifically in the area of fundie Christianity #there--funnily--but for the grace of god go i #i talk to Christian friends who weren't raised by hardcore evangelicals and am baffled to realize how different their beliefs-- #--are compared to what i was programmed to believe #and it was programming. i did not have a real choice in my beliefs growing up. and i mean i was literally a child #how was i to know #anyway #i need breakfast

[lightningfilledsaber]

I’ll be talking about the last post I reblogged in the tags of this post for the sake of the person I reblogged it from

#mud rambles #quick lil backstory for why. I follow him but he no longer follows me so I can have my privacy bc his partners are people ive cut off #he and i have how we interact figured out explicitly he's still my friend i care for him deeply what happened between his partners and i #didnt have anything to do with him. i let him know what happened. theyre not horrible ppl just bad friends to me #anyway #SO fucking ironic to see that on my dash from them specifically because his fucking girlfriend (my ex friend who was my roommate) would #CONSTANTLY compare me to her abusive father for! no goddamn reason! #it wasn't necessarily 1 to 1 comparison but she would bring him up OUT OF NOWHERE for example one time i was literally just listening to #metallica (fuck metallica but they were MY dad's fav band so i listen to them bc of nostalgia) and she just! was like #'you listen to dad bands. my dad likes metallica' o...kay??? #and that wasnt the worst one. she would just. unprompted compare me to her dad. usually like that over things i liked but she once like. #vagued me to my face about how ~crazy and paranoid~ her dad is #NOT EVEN ONCE she brought up how paranoid he was A LOT and like. at the time i was trying to be a little more open abt my paranoia w her an #my ex best friend (her other partner) so like. idk. whether it was a vague at me or not i did not appreciate it #even MY partner brought up multiple times how it was fucking weird and she was lowkey comparing me to her fucking dad #KEEP IN MIND BTW I PERSONALLY moved her out of her home state and away from her dad to room with me and my partner #i dont remember a lot of the examples bc i want to block that shit out but. what the fuck woman #anyway i needed to talk abt this but like i said i dont wanna be vagueing my friends gf in the tags of a post i reblogged from him lmao #i can talk abt it on my own blog not there #and mandatory disclaimer please do not try to figure out who the people ive cut off are and also please leave them and their bf alone #like i said he's still my friend and i care about him #i just feel the need to say that bc. i trust the people who follow me to not go and do that but. just genuinely need to clear the air #i cut them off for a reason. i dont want any kind of contact with them even indirectly. and i dont want people harassing my friend #i specifically went out of my way when that shit went down to make sure he and i were still cool so dont fuck this up for me thanx!

[vulcandyke]

every time someone says morgan wallen's version of cover me up is better than jason isbell's, an angel loses its wings

#and i get a little more homicidal #seriously morgan wallen could never compare to jason isbell yall are so fucking stupid #even ignoring the fact that hes a racist asshole hes also not talented in any way #jason isbells worst song is miles better than morgan wallens best song and i will die on this hill #anyone who genuinely thinks morgan wallen is better needs to listen to elephant and whiskey glasses back to back and then report back to me #literally none of you give a fuck about this ik but im from tx so you will have to put up with me bitching about country music im not sorry #this is a jason isbell appreciation post now. he wrote the best drive by truckers song ever. goddamn lonely love is so good #everyone say thank you mr isbell!!! #also also fuck you dierks bentley home is so clearly a ripoff of in a razor town and its so much worse than the original #anyway go listen to jason isbells whole discography right now. start with drive by truckers #then listen to sirens of the ditch twice and then you can move on to his other solo albums #then listen to everything he did with jason isbell and the 400 unit #this is required listening to even look at my blog #i have to add i was NOT implying elephant is his worst song. it's one of his best actually he doesnt have bad songs #just had to clear that up

[allbuthuman]

tw ed talk in the tags

#i might be worrying less about my heath eventually going downhill one day #and more about how i'll explain that to my family without them ever learning that i have an ED #my mum and sister would be supportive #but something about being vulnerable to them makes me so deeply uncomfortable #my bloodwork wasn't the best this year compared to the previous time i had it done #which was before the worst behaviour had started at all #it's gonna catch up to me someday and i won't know what to say to people #tw ed