#mcgonogall &x dumbledore

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Severus takes Harry in after James and Lily die. He refuses to allow his son to be raised by anyone else.

He enlists the help of Remus and Sirius, of course. He’s a grieving widow, an ex-spy, and a newfound Potions Professor; he can’t raise a baby alone. Not even his son, who he loves more than life itself. Remus and Sirius, hired as the Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts and first Counselor of the new Guidance and Student Support Department respectively, move back into Hogwarts with their four children to help him.

While Severus struggles to care for an infant who still asks after James and Lily, Sirius and Remus are struggling with their own grief. While Luna, Hermione, and Newt are theirs officially (enough), they’re still fighting for custody of Draco, who Narcissa and Lucius have abused (and allowed Bellatrix to abuse as well). Remus keeps checking in on Seamus, Peter’s son, who now lives with the Finnigans since Max’s death and Peter went on the run from the law for his crimes. Sirius is trying fruitlessly to find Regulus’ lost family, Amir and Hailee, and has still not recovered from his brother’s death, prone to breakdowns at odd and unexpected moments. Severus tries to help them as best he can.

(age) 1.

Harry won’t stop crying. I mean, Severus knows he’s a baby, but still. Should Severus have really taken this on? This was so stupid, he’s giving him up, he can’t do this - and then Harry smiles at him and Severus knows he’d never have it any other way.

2.

Sirius and Remus lose the custody battle. Draco cries as the Malfoys drag him away and Sirius breaks down, feeling like he’s lost his brother and niece all over again. Harry has stopped asking for Lily and James now, but it’s almost worse - now he’s just quiet. So, so silent. Nothing like the happy, loud baby Severus always knew him as back when his parents were alive. Just… a ghost.

3.

Sirius and Remus try to fight for Draco again. Luna and Harry prefer each other’s company above all others, and Hermione spends her days against Remus’ chest while Newt explores the woods around Hogwarts. Severus takes Harry to visit James and Lily’s graves for the first time and cries, cries, cries.

4.

Severus finds the cure for lycanthropy. He presents it to Remus, who is beyond grateful. Without that one hindrance, he and Sirius are able to adopt Draco from Narcissa and Lucius, who are sent to Azkaban for their crimes. Severus presides over the friend-wedding of Dumbledore and Mcgonogall and listens to Sirius and Remus reminisce about their similar relationship with James, silent on the matter himself.

5.

Harry asks what happened to his parents. Severus closes his eyes and answers.

6.

The Aurors find and arrest Peter. Severus takes a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He tugs Harry close and doesn’t let go.

7.

Harry meets the Weasley children. He immediately finds a kinship with Ron; Newt is attached to Charlie while Draco mostly follows Bill, who dotes on him like a little brother. Luna bonds with Ginny while Hermione takes walks to Zonko’s with Fred and George. Severus has tea with Remus and Sirius and reminds himself that they weren’t just friends because of James.

8.

Harry tells Severus his scar hurts. Severus does his research, and brings Remus to Grimmauld Place for a private meeting. They find Regulus’ note and gift it to Sirius, who destroys the Horcrux with a vengeful glee. The three of them set about finding the other six.

9.

Harry tells Severus he wants to spend the rest of his life with Ron and Hermione. Severus kisses his head, tells him he loves him, and sends him off to play.

10.

Severus takes Harry to visit James and Lily’s graves. Harry admits that even if they can’t be here, he’s glad Severus is the one raising him. Severus gathers his son up in his arms and tells him he looks so much like his father and he has his mother’s eyes and they cry, cry, cry but together this time.

11.

Severus sends Harry off to Hogwarts with the words that he’ll love him no matter what House he’s in. Remus and Sirius are there too, sending off Luna, Newt, Hermione, and Draco. The Weasleys are there beside them. Seamus runs across the platform with Dean Thomas and bounces around with Harry excitedly; Severus watches them with a smile and glances up when Sirius gasps, staring across the platform at a girl who looks so much like Regulus it’s almost scary. She smiles at him and winks, and Sirius throws himself around her as she laughs, her father coming up to join the hug. Severus lets Remus slip an arm around his shoulders as they watch Sirius reunite with Hailee and Amir, his brother’s long-lost family, after so long. A week later Severus gets a letter from Harry saying he’s been sorted into Hufflepuff, and he smiles and reads the letter aloud to Lily and James’ portraits so they can celebrate it too.

12.

Amir offers up some notebooks he found with Regulus’ things after his death that have information on Horcruxes. Harry makes the Quidditch team and Severus goes to every game he can.

13.

They destroy all the Horcruxes but Harry. Severus looks for alternatives until his hair is grey.

14.

Seamus starts staying for the summer. Severus watches him and Dean and is reminded of Sirius and Remus, but doesn’t say so. Sirius and Remus remarry just for the hell of it, and Severus locks himself in his room and reads James and Lily’s old letters to him until Harry finds him and hugs him as they both break down in tears.

15.

Newt tells them he plans on marrying Charlie Weasley in a completely platonic sense, and makes a crown of autumn leaves for his platonic-wife-to-be Peggy Schuyler, a Muggle from the Lupins’ neighborhood. Harry tells Severus he thinks he wants to be with Ron and Hermione and is that okay, and Severus kisses his head and tells him his mother and father would be proud of him no matter what, thinking that their son is more like them than he will ever know.

16.

Seamus and Dean kiss under the mistletoe at a Christmas party. Hailee decides to travel the world after Amir’s death, but still writes Sirius plenty. Luna and Ginny are caught making out in Ron’s bed in the summer and Remus hugs Severus when he gets too drunk and Severus tinkers with his wedding ring and smiles.

17.

Harry dies, but he lives. Ron and Hermione won’t let go of him after the Battle of Hogwarts, and Sirius stands by Draco’s side as he tells off the Malfoys. Severus retires from Hogwarts with Sirius and Remus and moves to the countryside. It’s quiet there.

Some time passes.

25.

Harry stops by to tell Severus he, Ron, and Hermione are engaged. Severus tells him he’s proud of him and he loves him. As his son leaves through the sunlit door, Severus realizes he doesn’t know how many years it’s been.

30.

Harry calls him to say they’re expecting. Severus cries after he hangs up.

49.

His grandchildren have graduated and are settling down. Sirius passes away. Severus grieves. Remus lives for his family and his family alone.

53.

Remus dies of fatigue and heartbreak. Severus stands by Harry at the funeral, watching as his long gone husband finally has his partners buried next to him, the Marauders reunited.

57.

The newspaper headline reads, DEATH EATER PETER PETTIGREW DEAD OF COMPLETED SUICIDE. Severus sighs, takes a sip of tea, and heads back to bed. He calls Harry for a goodnight chat, because it’s been a few months since they’ve seen each other. He falls asleep.

He wakes up with Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Regulus around him.

Oh, he thinks. I’m home.

#severitus #severus snape #remus lupin #sirius black #harry potter #james x lily x severus #wolfstar #regulus x amir #peter x max #marauders #harry x ron x hermione #linny #newt &x charlie &x peggy #mcgonogall &x dumbledore #james &x sirius &x remus #deamus #i don't know what this is #have it anyway #have a nice day y'all

[bikelock28]

Can you explain what you mean by “Lupin's Pottermore bio doesn't fit with canon Remadora.”?

Ohhh boy, thank you for asking this question. I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while. There are 3 main inconsistencies so prepare for a long answer!

Inconsistency 1: OotP According to Pottermore, the whole Lupin/Tonks thing kicks off with: One night when they lay in hiding outside a known Death Eater’s house, after a year of increasingly warm friendship, Tonks made an idle remark about one of their fellow Order members (‘He’s still handsome, isn’t he, even after Azkaban?’). Before he could stop himself, Remus had replied bitterly that he supposed she had fallen for his old friend (‘He always got the women.’). At this, Tonks became suddenly angry. ‘You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice.’

Then Lupin goes Full Lupin about it and, "avoided any further excursions with [Tonks], barely talked to her, and started volunteering for the most dangerous missions. Tonks became desperately unhappy". This all happened BEFORE Sirius' death.

There's a few things to unpack here. I'll start with the fact that "I suppose you've fallen for him. He always got the women," is a crazy thing to say to someone about their cousin. JK is a fan of the Tonks-loves-Sirius fake-out and it's understandable from Harry's PoV but a weird take from Lupin (*cough* especially if you also ship Wolfstar *cough*).

Next, in the final scene of OotP, Tonks is described as, "her bright bubble-gum-pink hair gleaming in the sunlight"- her hair is still working and she is specifically described as standing in sunlight, #patheticfallacy. "Next to Tonks was Lupin"- THEY ARE SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED AS BEING BESIDE EACH OTHER. And then they start finishing each other's sandwiches sentences. Not the behaviour of a guy who is desperately trying to avoid someone.

Inconsistency 2: HBP After all that, Lupin goes off to Greyback Land for most of HBP. Pottermore says that around Bill's hospital bed in HBP Ch 29, "Tonks made a brave, public declaration of her feelings for Remus, who was forced to admit the strength of his love for her". This fits with what Pottermore has previously suggested- that HBP Ch29 is the first time these feelings have been discussed by either party since the "You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for". Except here's the dialogue from the book: Tonks: “You see! She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!"

Lupin: “It’s different. Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely —”

Tonks: “But I don’t care either, I don’t care! I’ve told you a million times…”

Lupin: “And I’ve told you a million times that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…”

Molly: “I’ve said all along you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,”

Lupin: “I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.”

Arthur: “But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so,"

Lupin: “This is…not the moment to discuss it. Dumbledore is dead…”

Professor McGonagall: "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,” This is not a "brave, public declaration of feelings for Remus"! And in no way does Lupin "admit the strength of his love for her"! It's almost the opposite, he can barely look at her. Nobody mentions love until McGonogall right at the end. This isn't a declaration of love, this is a follow-up argument from a conversation which has already happened, and which all the adults in the room are aware of. It doesn't fit with the Pottermore implication that this has all been repressed for a year- this situation has been well-known, and it's clearly not the first time Tonks and Lupin have discussed their relationship.

Inconsistency 3: HBP/DH The above scene happens on 30/6, and by 31/7, they're married and they both know she's pregnant. Even if you headcanon the unlikely idea that Teddy was conceived as soon as Harry left the room in HBP Ch29, 31 days is pretty quick to develop pregnancy symptoms at all, let alone decide the symptoms are consistent enough to warrant a test, and then actually get hold of and do the test. And that's just for Tonks to find out herself, she might have taken a while to tell Lupin. And it wasn't a normal 31 days, it was a pretty busy time in which you might not have time to worry about missing a period or sourcing a pregnancy test! So while technically yes, it could have happened, it seems a pretty tight turnaround to me (full disclosure: I've never been or tried to get pregnant, so my evidence for this is anecdotal/from Google. Happy to be corrected if anybody has anything about this to add).

(Also Pottermore says, "Remus realised that Tonks was pregnant," which irritates me because I’m pretty sure that Tonks realised Tonks was pregnant before anybody else did).

Conclusion Those are the three main inconsistencies imo. I vaguely included that “You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice” scene in Pluto because I quite like it (despite having to find a reason why Lupin would suggest that cousins fancy each other), although I had it be a catalyst to Tonks and Lupin having a relationship in OotP. I suppose I was trying to cover all basis/ have my cake and eat it, and sometimes I wish I hadn’t included that Pottermore scene at all tbh, but there we are. For me, Book Canon is gospel and Pottermore etc is a lesser form of canon, so the inconsistencies don't, like, ruin my life. They're just kind of annoying. I don't think they're huge errors or fails on JK's part, I reckon she overlooked a few details from the books when she wrote Pottermore, which is forgivable considering there's over a million words of the books in total. Phew! Glad to get that off my chest. Thanks for asking, have a fantastic week :) x

#questions or something #my rambles #this is a big ramble #pottermore #hbp #hp #jkr #remadora #pluto #bikelock28 #remus lupin #hp meta #is it called a meta? #tonks #nymphadora tonks #dh #ootp

[space-helen]

Never

Words: 1833

Pairing: Snape x Reader

A/N: First time writing Snape and honestly I don’t know how I feel about this one since there’s so much going on but yeah I hope I did the request justice!

Request: Hey! I've never requested anything before so not sure how to do this but I'd love love LOVE to see a professor!Snape x professor!reader please!! I really love your writing, thank you so much just for reading this! Just lots of fluff and kind of going from being friends to then being together with first kiss and all that fluffy goodness! Thank you! - @awkwardaxelotl

_________________

You marked the final piece of work before looking up at the man opposite you. It had become a weekly thing about two months after you started teaching at Hogwarts and now you were two years in. Your teaching experience had started out a bit rough there was a huge adjustment period for you but you’d quickly made friends with all of the other professors but after some time clicked the most with Professor Snape.

“How long have you been done?” 

“Long enough to see you decide whether you wanted to award a point for the sarcastic answer.” the man said in his monotonous voice with a small smirk on his face. He showed you a different side entirely, one he didn’t show many other people.

You smiled “I really should just expect answers like that from now on.”

The man let out an amused breath “Well, Congratulations on your two year teaching anniversary.”

“Thank you Severus.” You leant back in your chair and gazed around your office taking in all of the books that you needed to clear away.

“You’ll come to dinner in the great hall later?” he asked as he stood up from his seat.

“Of course. I’ll just tidy up and I’ll be there.” He walked towards the door before speaking again “A word of advice. Don’t open any of the books. Otherwise you’ll never tidy them away.” He said with a quirk of an eyebrow.

You smiled “Now what makes you say that?”

“I know you. You get distracted.” With that he turned and left, closing the door behind him. 

You sat back in your chair and shook your head in disbelief. When you’d joined the Hogwarts Professors team everyone had said things like ‘don’t take it to heart if he ignores you’, ‘deadpan sass is his middle name’ and ‘don’t expect to make friends with him, he only baseline tolerates all professors and only has a select few he enjoys the company of.’ Yet within weeks of being in Hogwarts the two of you had become more than just acquaintances and now you were friends.

Originally he’d just say a hello to you and carry on with his day but then he saw your passion for teaching, your love for the subject and your ability to be kind, relatable and humourous with classes whilst also being able to control them, he admired that and he wanted to know more. 

You on the other hand didn’t try hard in the beginning at all, you’d be kind to the man and that was it, not going out of your way to see him or try and be his friend. You had plenty of other friendships with the other professors, McGonagall being the one who’d taken you under her wing. That was until one day Snape came to sit near you while dining in the great hall. It was unusual for professors to change seats but he did it with such conviction so no one questioned it. After that evening you saw that the man wasn’t so cold hearted and harsh afterall.

You looked at the meal before you as Severus took his seat next to yours. “I see you made it.”

“Yep I listened to your advice.” you said angling yourself towards the man.

“I guess there’s a first for everything.” He said before starting to eat his meal.

The two of you ate and fell into a natural conversation with each other and the other Professors at the table.

“Professor Y/L/N!” You peered up to see the Slytherin 6th year boy, Rupert Pickett, who’d been causing trouble in your classroom approach the front of the great hall.

“Yes?” 

“Can you stop chatting up our head of house? It’s kind of embarrassing.” 

You could feel all of the heat rushing to your face. This kid really did get your blood boiling before you could even say something a deep voice came from beside you. “How dare you speak to another professor like that. 50 points from Slytherin and a week's detention.” 

“Just because you like her doesn’t mean you need to defend her. After all she’s a mudblo-”

Snape stood abruptly “That’s enough an additional 50 points from Slytherin detention for 2 weeks and all Hogsmeade privileges are revoked until further notice.” he had begun to raise his voice slightly at this point. Making much of the room notice the dispute happening.

The boy looked dumbfounded, his mouth agape but clearly mad. It took him a second to unfreeze before turning and practically stomping away. 

“I apologise for his behaviour.”

You looked at the man tears collecting in your eyes but not falling. “Thank you. He's one of the harder ones to control in the classroom."

"He misbehaves often. I'm sorry you have to deal with him"

"There's always one" you adjusted yourself in your seat "Anyway, tell me more about that potion."

It had been a couple of days since the incident with the Slytherin boy and it was nearly forgotten about entirely. 

“Any questions?” you asked the class.

A very young first year Hufflepuff girl raised her hand and you called upon her. “What’s a mudblood?” 

You shook your head in disbelief “Miss French I’d advise you not to repeat that word again, it’s a derogatory term used in the wizarding word and it should not be used under any circumstances.” “Any other questions?” The class was silent. “You are dismissed.”

Turning you picked up a book from your table and walked towards your bookshelf. That’s when you heard a giggle and a pain shoot through your legs causing you to fall, as your head hit the floor you were greeted quickly by darkness. 

Severus’ robes billowed behind him as he took strides down the corridor towards Madame Pomfreys. It hadn’t taken long for the news to spread that the lovely Professor Y/L/N was injured.

Pushing the doors open, making an entrance as he always did, he saw Dumbledore and McGonagall around your bed with Madame Profrey. He quickly joined them.

“Severus just in time. I’m afraid there’s going to be an investigation into some pupils in your house.” 

Severus peered towards you. “Do we suspect they were the cause of this?” you nodded. “What’s the extent of the injuries?”

You went to open your mouth before you were cut off by Madame Pomfrey “Her bones were completely shattered in her left leg, I’ve repaired them but it’s still going to be painful for a while, she also had a nasty concussion.”

“So I’ll be using a walking stick for a couple of weeks.” you laughed.

The man huffed in response. “How are you feeling?” His eyes were full of concern as he looked at you.

“I’ve had better days. I’m just disappointed that this happened, McGonogall overheard some rumours that Mr Pickett had given the spell to one of the pupils in the classroom to cast.” you bowed your head in shame and sadness that a pupil would ever do this.

Anger boiled within Severus and he was soon storming out through the doors. He cared for you and he’d be damned if he’d let the boy who did this to you go unpunished.

Madame Pomfrey had kept you in overnight to ensure you didn’t have a concussion. Severus had sat with you long into the night and the two of you had talked about various things. Before long you had fallen asleep and Severus had sat with you for a while before deciding to return to his own quarters for the night.

“Ok when you’re ready stand up” Madame Pomfrey spoke to you. Perched on the edge of the bed you braced your arms either side of yourself ready to push yourself to your feet. Severus standing next to you with a walking stick ready for you to take. 

You took a deep breath in and pushed yourself up quickly grabbing the walking stick from Severus and giving him a small smile. 

“Ok take a step for me?”

Severus could see how unsteady you were and caught your arm to steady you  just before you could tumble over. 

You let out a small laugh “Walking is harder than I remember and it hasn’t even been a day.”

Madame Pomfrey laughed “It’s ok you’ll be unsteady for a while but that’s what the stick is for. Now I’m sure Professor Snape can help you back to your classroom but take it easy once you’re there. Practice walking but also don’t put too much strain on your leg.”

You nodded as Severus let go and offered you his arm properly. You wrapped your arm around his and held onto his forearm.

“Ready?” he questioned looking at you.

Clutching his arm tighter you brought yourself closer to him “Ready.” 

The two of you slowly walked towards your classroom, clutching his arm tightly occasionally when you felt unsteady.

Arriving at your classroom you let him walk you to your desk before letting go of his arm and taking a seat. Thanking the man he moved around the desk and sat opposite you as you rearranged some items on the desk.

“Feeling better already?”

You smiled up at the man “You could say that.”

Severus started lecturing you about taking it easy when a pencil rolled off your desk and onto the floor. Pushing the chair back slightly, a shooting pain went through your leg from the pressure. The man moved around the table instantly, his concerned expression right at your side as he placed a hand on your shoulder. “Allow me”

Gently kneeling down next to you he picked up the pencil and placed it on the table. “Thank you.” you said quietly.

The man looked at you from his half kneeling position for a moment, he was knelt but still tall next to your chair. “Whatever are you thanking me for? It was only a pencil.”

“Everything.” you let your gaze flicker over the mans face. You’d be lying if you said some feelings for the man hadn’t developed and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care for you.

Severus’ heart beat loudly in his chest as he slowly moved towards you and soon his lips were on yours. The kiss was short but sweet as he pulled away.

“I’m sorry I should never have ki-” you quickly leant in to kiss the man again letting him know you felt the exact same way before long his hand was on your face deepening the kiss. 

Pulling away the man gently let his thumb run over your cheek before standing up and placing a kiss to your forehead. “You have a class to teach shortly. I’ll come back at the end of the day to escort you to the great hall”

With one smooth movement he was gone. Everyone had told you not to bother with Snape because he’d never want to be your friend, yet here you were doing the exact opposite. Tag List: (open) Snape: Harry Potter:

#snape x reader #severus snape x reader #professor snape x reader

[wrestling-posts]

Newt Scamander Smut

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Request: Nah,I just got bored

Prompt: You and Newt had met at Hogwarts, and had both left a while ago, Newt left before you due to being expelled. But Professor Dumbledore had asked you both to return and fill temporary positions. You were going to teach DADA, and Newt, quite obviously was teaching Care of Magical Creatures

Warnings: Smut, and a lil bit of fluff at the end, cause well, it’s Newt

Word count: 1,345

I did this one, cause I’d just finished watching the film, and well, cause I could. Plus, this gif of Newtie is so cute. There’s a reason Newt and cute rhyme.

You and Newt had just apparated into Dumbledore’s office, for your first day on the job. “Ah Miss (Y/L/N) and Mr Scamander, thank you both for helping me out in this difficult time.” Dumbledore said. “Now, since you two were inseparable while you were both students here, I have placed your sleeping quarters next door to each other.” “Thank you Dumbledore.” You smiled at him. “Now away with both of you, Professor McGonogall will show you where you are sleeping before you start your teaching duties.” You and Newt both turned around to see McGonogall standing behind you both, and she walked out, so you both follow her. After a few minutes of walking, she halts and turns to you. “Miss (Y/L/N), this is your room.” She said, indicating to the door right next to her. “And Mr. Scamander, you are in the one next to it.” She said, gesturing over her shoulder. “Now, please put your stuff away and head to your first class. You did as she said, and gave Newt a quick kiss on the cheek for good luck, before heading to your class, luckily remembering where the classroom was. Your first day had gone really well, despite the few odd students, who decided to mess around with the new Professor, but that had quickly stopped. You headed back up to your room after dinner in the Great Hall with the other Professor’s, you and Newt not being able to catch up yet, as you were sitting at opposite ends of the table. You wanted to catch up, but you couldn’t find Newt as you left. You figured to go to sleep, and talk to him at breakfast tomorrow. You got changed into just a long shirt, which you were sure was originally Newt’s, and into bed, but couldn’t sleep for anything, dying to speak to Newt. You decided to get up and went and knocked on his door. “Newt?” You asked. “Coming.” You heard him answer. A second later, he opened the door, wearing just pyjama pants. You stared at his chest, which was surprisingly toned, until he brought you out of your trance. “You okay, (Y/N)?” He asked, face filled with concern and worry. “I, uh, I couldn’t sleep.” You said quietly. “Come in.” He said, opening the door wider. You had walked in, and just stood there awkwardly. “Make yourself comfortable.” He said, shutting the door. You sat on the bed, as it was the closest thing to you. “How did your first day go?” He asked you, sitting next to you. “It went really well, actually.” You smiled. “How was yours?” “It was great, the children loved it.” He grinned. “Uh, speaking of first’s, there’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while.” “Which is?” “This.” He said, before pressing his lips to yours. You froze for a second in shock, but quickly kissed back. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, as you wrapped yours around his neck. The kiss became more heated, and he pushed you backwards, and he hovered above you. He removed his lips from yours, trailing kisses down your neck. His fingers worked on the shirt you were wearing, but stopped before he un did one. He looked at you. “Uh, is it okay if-if I…” “Newt, it’s fine.” You cut him off. He went back to kissing your neck, his hands now undoing your shirt. He bit your neck, making you gasp in surprise. He bit down hard enough to leave a mark, as he lifted you up slightly to throw your shirt on the ground, leaving you in your bra and panties. Your hands trailed his chest, as he unclasped your bra, throwing it next to your shirt. His lips then travelled to your breasts, taking one in his mouth, as his hand caressed the other. You moaned in pleasure, as he sucked on the nipple, his fingers pinching the other one. He soon replaced his lips with his other hand, and began trailing kisses down your stomach. Once again stopping, as he reached the top of your underwear. “Is it okay if I, uh…” “Yes Newt.” You cut him off again. He slowly slid your underwear down your legs, before letting them join your shirt and bra. One of his hands travelled away from your breast, and travelled down your body, before reaching between your thighs. You gasped as he stuck two fingers inside you without warning, his thumb rubbing your clit. “Oh Newt.” You moaned, as he curled his fingers inside you, managing to hit all the right spots. You could feel the familiar sensation bubbling up in your stomach, as he spoke. “So wet (Y/N).” He said, in a seductive voice, which sounded sexy on him. That just made the sensation build even more. Then his tongue joined his fingers, giving you immense pleasure. “Fuck, Newt.” You gasped, as his tongue worked it’s magic inside you, his fingers still curling as well. He removed his tongue for a second to speak again. “You taste so good.” That was all it took for the sensation to overcome you, your juices flowing onto his fingers. He got you through your high, before removing his fingers, sucking your juices off them. He trailed his kisses all the way back up your body until your lips met again. You quickly removed his bottoms, and underwear in one motion, rubbing your hand up and down his member, making him groan in pleasure, pre-cum coating your fingers. You removed your hand, and licked the pre-cum off, before managing to flip you both over. You copied his motions, leaving a mark on his neck, and trailing kisses down his body. Once, you reached his cock, you gently lowered your mouth around it, using your hands where your mouth couldn’t reach. You massaged his balls, as you could, using your tongue around his cock, as you went. “Fuck, that feels good.” Newt moaned, gripping the bedsheets. Once you removed your mouth, Newt flipped you over again, pinning your arms on either side of your head. He lined himself up with your entrance, and pushed himself into you slowly. You gasped in both pain and pleasure. “A-are you okay?” You could hear the panic in his voice. “I’m fine Newt, just stay still a sec.” You said. Once you got used to the size of him, you looked at his eyes. “You can move now.” He moved slowly at first, being gentle, earning small moans from both of you. “Faster Newt.” You whispered. Newt obliged quickly. Thrusting in and out of you at a quicker pace, causing you to grip on the bedsheets. As you moaned again, Newt went faster, causing you to buck your hips, an arch your back in pleasure. He moved one of his hands back to your breast, and you used your now free hand to dig into his back. “Fuck Newt.” You moaned, as he lifted up one of your legs, and went faster. His thrusts also becoming harder as well. You knew there was gonna be marks all over his back tomorrow, as well as on your breast “I’m close baby.” He muttered, squeezing your breast. “Let go Newt.” You whispered, feeling the sensation going to overcome you again as well. “Oh fuck, (Y/N).” He moaned, as he released himself inside you, causing you to do the same. You rode each other through your highs, then he pulled himself out of you, and lay next to you. He pulled you closer to him, so your head was now lying on his chest. “Was that my shirt you were wearing?” He asked, as he tried to recover his breath. “Uhm, maybe.” You giggled slightly. “You should wear it more often.” He said, kissing your forehead. “It looks better on you anyway.” You leaned up to kiss his lips once more, before laying your head back on his chest. And that was how the two of you fell asleep, starting a new kind of relationship between the two of you.

#fantastic beasts and where to find them #newt scamander #newt x reader #newt x you #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander x you #fantastic beasts x reader

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Albus Dumbledore being an awesome teacher and human being

Bubblegum Bitch - MARINA

(Imma be honest with y’all, it’s mostly just him being a crackhead.)

He tells stories about Grindelwald, about their marriage and their beliefs and their lives together. All of the stories have lessons - sure, a lot of those lessons are about how NOT to make pasta, but they’re still lessons!

He likes to matchmake students using seating charts and certain magical spell assignments. He’s very good at it. I mean, he’s shit at figuring out who likes each other, but he is great at meddling, so Mcgonogall tells him who to mess with and he does as he’s told. They make a great team (and are invited to a lot of weddings). Couples they’ve helped include but are not limited to: Dean and Seamus, Luna and Ginny, Hermione and Harry and Ron, Sirius and Remus, Peter and Maxwell Needles, Peter and Regulus (that was later), Lily and Severus and James, Fred and Lee plus George and Lee, Charlie and Newt (queerplatonic), Leta and Newt (queerplatonic), Harry and Luna (queerplatonic), and Sirius and James and Remus (queerplatonic). They’ve been very busy.

He and Mcgonogall have teatime almost every day. They talk about their students and work on their matchmaking plans. There’s a lot of sass and deadpanning involved. Sometimes they invite Remus, Sirius, and James. (Not Peter. He doesn’t need the same level of torturing that they do.) Bubbles of all shapes and sizes and colors float around the room the whole time. It’s fantastic.

He accepts gossip in exchange for extra credit. He’s a really good secret keeper too, so a lot of students go for it. (It hasn’t broken any friendships. There’s an understanding among the student population that Dumbledore is like Ms. Potts from that Muggle film Beauty and the Beast - well-meaning and trustworthy, but terribly, terribly bored.)

Everything in his classroom is pink. And glittery. And covered in sequins. Once a student asked him why and he just smirked for a solid minute before whispering, “Lemonade.” (As if that makes any fucking sense.)

He once taught class in a full-fledged glittery ballgown that faded from light pink to deep purple. He did not once acknowledge it or act like anything was out of the ordinary. One student raised their hand and asked timidly, “Professor? Why are you wearing a ballgown?” And his brow furrowed as he frowned, looked down at himself, and muttered, “Thought it was a bathrobe.” (Harry does not let him live this one down. His dad is not much help - Severus took many, many pictures.) (Not that it mattered. On Wednesdays Dumbledore wears pink (glittery ballgowns).)

He speaks to kids who have parents, friends, and relatives in prison, whether for being Death Eaters or otherwise. He chaperones visits to Azkaban for them so they can see their loved ones. He casts protective and invisibility charms on them so only the one they’re visiting can see or hear them, and he teaches them Patronuses (with Remus’ help, of course). He often spends these visits on the other side of Grindelwald’s bars, playing wizard’s chess against him. (Sometimes Grindelwald gives him flowers. It always makes Dumbledore smile. There may be no one left in the world who understands why they love each other, but they don’t need to understand it for it to be true.)

He stands at the front of the classroom and makes funny faces during tests and waits to see how long it takes for a student to look up. His latest record is seven minutes.

When he’s teaching Grindelwald’s history, he makes snarky comments about his husband. They range from “I mean really. Who the fuck thought wizards ruling Muggles was a good idea?” (Rest in peace that one student who thought it was a good idea to say, “You did, Professor.”) to “Honestly, that man has no concept of romance. I ask him for a nice night out and he takes me to a Muggle rally about witchcraft and tries to impress me by playing practical magical jokes on the speaker. A toddler could do that.” (He often gets mushy during those stories though, usually trailing off like “But that time he took me to my childhood home for my birthday was sweet… brought me flowers for Ariana’s grave and everything. Sure, he killed her, but… he has a sweet side…” and from there on out he’s basically a lost cause and you might as well go to your next class because he’s not going to stop humming that fucking Elvis song).

He “loses” his glasses all the time by casting an invisibility charm on them and forces his students to search the classroom for them when they’re on his face the whole time. He thinks it’s funny. Harry does not. (But Severus and Mcgonogall do, and that’s really what matters.) (Severus and Mcgonogall and Dumbledore are  a fantastic trio full of snark and sarcasm and shit, I have just decided.)

He makes little animals out of multi-colored magical dust and they fly around the classroom and perch on his favorite students’ heads. Once a dragon fell asleep on Newt’s head and wouldn’t leave even when class was over. Newt had to wait for the magic to wear off so it would disintegrate. (Of course, he had named it by that point and had a meltdown when it disappeared, so Dumbledore recreates the dragon (Robert) every class and just lets Newt coo at it, even during tests.)

He conjured and charmed two giant (I mean Egypt half-animal half-man guard statue size giant) fluffy pink teddy bears that are alive and stand on either side of him like bodyguards during class. A Slytherin student punched one in the stomach once and it vomited enough M&Ms over their head to completely bury them. The student’s partner, a Ravenclaw student, punched the other one in an ill-advised burst of illogical thought and received the same treatment, but in Skittles. (Luckily their Gryffindor aro-ace friend and nonbinary Hufflepuff friend stayed after class and ate until they could move again. Safe to say no one has dared punch the bears again.) (Though I hear they do give very good hugs. And they eat homework if you ask nicely enough!)

He has a bunch of cloaks that act as portals to realms like Merlin’s Celestiums (S.G.E., Soman Chainani). He gives one to each student for tests, and they are transported to their ideal test-taking environments, complete with whatever song they feel like listening to at any given minute playing all around them. Unsurprisingly, his students have the best grades in all of Hogwarts. (He also has a secret cloak that he uses for himself, to see Grindelwald. Grindelwald has his own matching one so he can always make it home for Thursday date night.) (They have been caught. Of course they have. But no one is going to challenge Dumbledore for his right to see his husband, even if he did marry a murderer.) (Sirius and Remus used to steal the cloak for their own dates. And later on James would steal it to take the two of them on friend-dates. Inspired by that, Dumbledore made a special cloak for Mcgonogall that he gifted her on her fiftieth birthday. The smile she gave him then is his favorite of all time.)

He bickers with Fawkes constantly. This often evolves into full-fledged screaming matches with spastic hand gestures, gratuitous spit, and angry hops on both sides. Once Dumbledore drew wand on his “useless babbling bastard of a bird”. No one has bothered to tell Dumbledore that Fawkes probably can’t understand a word of their arguments. (They do evacuate the classroom when these fights start though. The last time they stayed their hair was gone for a week, and when it grew back it was glittery and pink.) (Harry looked especially fantastic. Sirius thought he looked great. He laughed until he was in tears. Harry was not amused.) (Remus was.)

Sometimes he’s absent from class and Mcgonogall teaches them instead. When asked if he’s alright, Mcgonogall simply answers, “My partner is away on personal business for the day. Now, turn to page -” Soon enough people figured out that “personal business” meant “conjugal visit with Genocidal Maniac Husband™ in prison”. They stopped asking.

He gives all of his students the red button test (without knowing what it does, do you press the red button?). Those who pass get automatic A’s and a lollipop. Those who fail get a talking pet pygmy puff. The thing that usually trips people up is that Dumbledore considers the “correct” answer to be pressing the goddamn button. (Seamus is the only one who has ever passed (enthusiastically too!). Newt half-passed because Niffy the Niffler sat on it.) (Sirius and James would have passed too if they had not been the life partners of one Remus Lupin, whose creativity with threats and extensive curse-word vocabulary rivaled Mcgonogall’s even at the tender age of fifteen.)

He has floating war maps just lying around. He plays battleship with his students on them. What he neglects to tell them is that their moves have actual consequences in the world, as the maps are magical and reflect real battles and places. When Harry finds out (he blew up Denmark, completely unawares) he shows up at Dumbledore’s door soaking wet at five-thirty in the morning with a newspaper, his fists clenched, his face red, and his chest heaving. He wouldn’t stop glaring for weeks. (Alas, Dumbledore’s glorious beard has great resistance to fire spells.) (Following an incident involving the original four Marauders in their third year. Shhh… we do not speak of that.)

He has a habit of walking into random classrooms, gesturing for a student to come with him with his finger, and then taking them to his office for teatime. He usually asks them inane questions about a specific theme (fish, pasta strainers, socks, throw pillows, mooses, etc.) for hours until finally dismissing them. It drives Mcgonogall crazy. (She’s yelled at him plenty for “kidnapping students to ask them questions you know you could easily find on that Muggle infer-het thing! They have exams, Albus -” but he just smiles at her while calmly sipping his tea and she always ends up collapsing in the chair across from him with a sigh, taking the tea from his hands and chugging it before wiping her mouth, slamming it down on the desk, and asking, “So. Fish. What’s up with them?” and Albus just beams.)

He spends half of his class lessons babbling on about how Merlin was gay for Arthur and Arthur was gay for Merlin, but not in long tangents. Just a bunch of random comments without context, warning, or explanation. (He mentions “poetry” a lot and waggles his eyebrows for some reason, so… what’s up with that? (Merlin BBC))

He overshares A LOT about his and Grindelwald’s lives. It’s a problem because 90% of the time it’s something sweet or innocent like “Oh, he brought me a tiger lily that bloomed open to show a gold and ruby ring nestled inside on our first anniversary. That’s how he proposed to me” and “He used to hum while he did the housework, you know? He’d stand in the middle of the house and close his eyes and just hum. Almost entire symphonies too, just waving his wand in the air like a conductor” to “This one time in bed he…” and there is NO warning. The amount of things these poor children’s ears have had to endure… (*shakes head in mock disappointment*)

He often cooks during class using wandless magic. The pots and pans heat themselves and float around in the air. Sometimes Dumbledore dances and then they start dancing too. He whistles and creates a base beat for the sizzling, popping, clanging, and other kitchen noises to follow. This usually happens during tests. Oh joy.

He leaves the windows open when it rains, but somehow nothing ever gets wet. Harry and Hermione have a theory that it’s protection charms. (Really it’s a spell Severus made up when he was drunk because he was angry that umbrellas don’t have enough room under them for three, and he’s always been the most self-sacrificial person in his marriage.)

He regularly makes bets with Mcgonogall about the students’ love lives. Not money, but little things the other doesn’t want to do or buy. Dumbledore usually has to handle the Marauders’ detentions or give up one of his teddy bear guards for Mcgonogall’s experimental enjoyments. Mcgonogall has to do something embarrassing or let him borrow one of her glittery hats. They should really stop making bets at this point; the stakes and the winners are dreadfully predictable. He always wins when the bet is on a student’s sexuality or gender and she always wins when the bet is on who a student will end up with. Nonetheless, the bets continue. So too does their grumbling amusement.

He figured out how to make a broom invisible when he and Grindelwald first fell in love, so they could be showy with each other at their Greater Good rallies. They later used it for dates, prison breaks, and daring escapes complete with kisses under the moon. Once Grindelwald went to Azkaban, Dumbledore used it to find some privacy where he could grieve. Now, he uses it to travel around his classroom and Hogwarts and trick everyone into thinking he can fly by sheer will. Only Mcgonogall knows his secret. (And Severus, but Dumbledore doesn’t know that because he told him when he was black out drunk. So.)

He lets pygmy puffs sleep in his beard. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

He once taught class while teetering on his feet because he had somehow gotten himself tangled in Christmas lights from shoulders to ankles and couldn’t move. (Sirius wandered in and saw this, cried he was laughing so hard, and then warbled his off-key way through as many Christmas carols as he could remember for the rest of class.) (Dumbledore tried to Silencio him but just fell over trying to make the wand movement. He broke his nose. Sirius almost had a panic attack because he couldn’t breathe from how hard he was laughing. By the end of this he had curled up in a fetal position on the floor, Remus was lying down next to him and muttering jokes to him, Mcgonogall was trying to fix Dumbledore’s face, and Severus had taken over the class. Not that they got much done - James was visiting that day. And him, Sirius, and Remus all laughing about the same thing rarely leads to a quiet and calm learning environment.) (They gave him a joint present of rainbow Christmas lights for his birthday - “Happy Gay Day, Professor!” - and he was not amused.) (Grindelwald was though. So was everyone else.)

He tends to mix up holidays in his head and often decorates for the wrong one. He goes all out too. He’s kind of a disaster, and so is his classroom. It became such a problem that the Marauders actually took pity on him and made him a very big calendar with all the holidays marked on it in glitter and fake jewels and flowers. It sits behind his desk and occasionally works.) (Occasionally.)

He’s queerplatonic partners with Mcgonogall. They held a friend-wedding and forced Severus to be the flowergirl. Harry officiated, Remus was Dumbledore’s best man, Sirius was Mcgonogall’s, James wasn’t given a job cause he was crying too much, Lily was in charge of taking care of James, and Peter was the ring bearer (he only lost them TWICE and they were ring pops anyway). Mcgonogall screeches at him a lot and Dumbledore can be depressive and neglectful because he misses Grindelwald but they love each other so it works. (And they’re the prime source of advice for James, Sirius, and Remus regarding their own queerplatonic relationship, for better or for worse.)

He puts his feet up on the desk even though it’s bad for his knees. Mcgonogall told him it’s bad for his knees and he has stubbornly put them up there every class since. (His knees are killing him but he will not give in to “a paranoid, batty old witch who doesn’t know shit about what’s good for me and wouldn’t if she was hit with an Imperio and I told her -” “I’M YOUR FUCKING PARTNER, YOU BLASPHEMOUS ARROGANT BRAT OF AN OLD FART!”)

Instead of walking around his classroom, he struts. (Yes, it worsens his knees.) He does strike poses, he does make obnoxious expressions, and he does look fabulous. WORK! (Yes, that was a Hamilton reference.)

He once taught class without a  face because Mcgonogall cursed him for “fucking up the alphabetical organization of my tea, you old twit. Honestly, Albus, it’s not that hard”. (How did he teach without a mouth, you ask? Easy, he used intermediate BSL (deaf students, plus Azkaban isn’t great on old men’s ears and he and Grindelwald are both gettin’ up there) and Sirius interpreted.) (Incredibly wrongly, crudely, and foul-mouth-ly, but nonetheless he interpreted.)

He has difficulty understanding the straight people in his class. He is fully accepting of everyone and wants the best for all of them, but when it comes to relationship advice, he’s shit.

Excerpt pulled from Pensieve of a conversation he had with a student who identified as female:

Dumbledore: “So your boyfriend is a dick, is what you’re saying?”

Student’s best friend: “Yes. Merlin, he’s such a dick. Would you believe he -”

Dumbledore: *looks at student and points to her best friend* “Why don’t you just date her?”

*cue red faces and sputtering*

(They did not take his advice.)

He wears bowties ALL THE TIME. If he’s not wearing a bowtie, there are bows in his hair and tying the ends of his beard together. Once he wore pigtails. It was great.

He has a habit of bursting into song randomly and performing full-blown Broadway musical numbers (yes, he can rap Guns and Ships at full speed). This usually involves all of the complex moves to be expected in a musical - dramatically climbing up the stairs while looking forlorn, leaping onto the desk and squatting as you launch into a whispered limerick, speedy costume changes - you know, the works. Sometimes Sirius and James back him up, if they’re there. Severus will take over teaching with a bored look on his face (“What are you looking at, Harry?” “Dad, there’s -” “I don’t see anything interesting happening, Harry.” *glares*) while Mcgonogall screeches at Dumbledore to “GET THE FUCK DOWN, YOU NARCISSISTIC HEATHEN!” It’s a problem.

When the Marauders challenge the dress code, Dumbledore is the first Professor to encourage it. While Sirius is perfectly confident in a skirt and Regulus isn’t far behind (neither is Severus, surprisingly), James and Remus are far more insecure. Dumbledore wears a tutu to class one day to show his support, and Remus wouldn’t stop smiling the rest of the day. (James just turned bright red and beamed when Sirius started laughing.) He also backed Lily up when she wore pants (along with Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary) by convincing Mcgonogall to wear pantsuits for a week. (Sirius, despite being a hardcore gay, was quite affected by this. Remus did not appreciate the water spit in his face and refused to kiss Sirius for a week.)

He plays Cecily Smith (Will Connolly) on the ukulele on late nights and stares out at the stars thinking of Grindelwald. Sometimes he forgets to turn off the Sonorus from earlier that day and ends up broadcasting his little song to the whole school. Sirius and Remus will dance to it in the common room while James watches his partners with a happy smile on his face (and Peter sleeps, because he’s tired and doesn’t force himself to stay up simply for the purpose of being cool or finishing that one assignment that isn’t due for another two weeks) (I’m sorry, do you feel called out?).

This man has weed brownies stashed away in his desk and he does eat them during class. He also offered one to Remus once, who is the only student that knows about the stash and tends to use marijuana for medical purposes (helping with anxiety and pain regarding the full moon, courtesy of my beautiful girlfriend who has never read nor seen Harry Potter but nonetheless insists to me that Remus Lupin is a stoner who wears red beanies). This prompted Sirius to ask for one, which Dumbledore refused, but then James joined in and they started a riot by standing on their desks and pumping their fists in the air and screaming, “BROWNIES FOR ALL!” while Remus giggled into his hand and was no help at all, so Dumbledore gave them each a brownie just to shut them up. (Sirius wouldn’t stop rambling about how pretty Remus’ eyes were, James was babbling on about unicorns, Severus was hissing at something no one else could see, Regulus was hissing at the same thing for some reason, Peter was crying because he couldn’t tell the difference between hamsters and gerbils and guinea pigs, and Lily was muttering pi under her breath until she fell asleep.) (Mcgonogall was unimpressed.) (No teatime for eight weeks. Damn.)

Dumbledore cares about all of his students, however little he shows it. He wants them to lead a better life than he did. And maybe fall in love with better people than he did.

#albus dumbledore #albus wulfric percival brian dumbledore #mcgonogall &x dumbledore #&x means queerplatonic i have just decided #grindledore #wolfstar #james &x remus &x sirius #severus & mcgonogall & dumbledore #james x lily x severus #albus dumbledore is a crackhead 2021 #i dunno please enjoy this shit #i'm really fucking tired #harry potter #have a nice day y'all

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

James Potter, Remus Lupin, & Sirius Potter Lupin’s QPP Rules & Boundaries as discussed and mediated by Minerva Mcgonogall and Severus Snape

QPP = queerplatonic partnership

James

Remus

Sirius

Mcgonogall

Severus

(this is weirdly formatted please forgive me i have very limited options and i'm new here)

#1:

“Friend-dates” will occur approximately three times per month at least. Sirius Potter Lupin and Remus Lupin hereby rescind their right to the planning of said friend-dates exempting my birthday.

I absolutely do not rescind.

I do.

#2:

Remus Lupin will be allowed at least two hours per day for homework without any interruption from the two idiots he’s chosen to spend his life with lest one of them be on fire or dead.

Moooooooonnnnnnnyyyyyyyy!

Fair enough.

#3:

Picnics will only take place by the lake with the giant squid.

Sirius Potter Lupin is forbidden from being within five hundred feet of the giant squid. So is his wand.

You’re no fun, Moony.

#4:

When James and Moony are doing that

disgustingly sappy curse upon my innocent eyes

THING where we close our eyes and press our foreheads together for an unspecified amount of time, Sirius Potter Lupin must agree to leave us the fuck alone.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo…

Padfoot.

Fine.

#5:

Remus Lupin will not be doing any of Sirius or James’ homework lest there is an emergency. (Emergencies include: lying letters from bitch mothers, depressive slumps, shortage of ADHD medication, self-harm recovery, anxiety/panic attacks, relapses into unspecified eating disorders, traumatic episodes, James fucked something up with Severus and/or Lily and needs to focus all his energy into fixing it, a prank involving Peter of which I am disinvolved.)

(What about

No.)

#6:

Remus and James will tell Sirius these exact words: “I love you” without alteration or exception at least once every day. Twice is preferable.

The same words will be repeated to Remus at least once a day, barring the occasional addition of “fucking” in between “I” and “love” for reasonable purposes. Seven times per day is required the day before, of, and after the full moon.

I love you, Pads.

I love you too, Moonshine.

#7:

James and Sirius hereby agree to spend an obscene amount of their respective riches to shower Moony in affectionate gifts, such as chocolate, jumpers, and books.

Absolutely not.

Remus Lupin, in return, promises to keep on being his wonderful breathing self and to understand that aforementioned gifts come from a place of love and never pity.

I said no.

Moony acknowledges that his refusals have been duly noted, discussed by the council of Padfoot and Prongs, and swiftly dismissed on the basis of being complete and utter dogshit.

PADFOOT!

#8:

Sirius and Remus will set aside at least one hour per day for time with James.

Three is preferable if possible.

Of course. This time can either be split between the two of them or spent with all three of them together.

#9:

James and Sirius promise to take care of Moony always. Because of full moons or otherwise.

Guys.

This is non-negotiable. They will do what work they can for him, help him study for tests, speak with professors on his behalf, stand up for him against friends and foes alike, and never take his unconditional love for granted. They will love him the same and accept every part of him, regardless of illegality or immorality.

Guys.

We love you, Moony.

#10:

Remus will hold Sirius and James’ hands (respectively or together) between at least three classes per day. On the weekends, he will hold both their hands during Hogsmeade visits.

You two are insufferable.

Think of it as keeping us on a leash.

Fine.

#11:

James’ house is open to both Sirius and Remus at any point in time, regardless of season or circumstance. By extension, Regulus Black

Lupin

Apologies, Regulus Lupin will also be permitted at any time, night or day.

#12:

Sirius and Remus hereby agree to give James advice regarding Lily and Severus whenever he asks, barring his understanding that their advice may very well be shit.

Fine, you wankers.

#13:

Remus hereby agrees not to blast his sad indie music at two in the morning, especially on Mondays.

Fine. You can’t wake me up with Queen at three.

REMUS! FREDDIE MERCURY IS A GOD!

BOW TO CONAN GRAY AND LANA DEL REY OR DIE.

We could just play Taylor Swift.

And Hamilton.

Fine. Agreed.

#14:

James and Sirius vow not to make fun of Remus when Regulus calls him “Mum”.

We do?

You do. And you can’t make fun of Regulus either, he gets shy.

But Moony

I said no, Sirius.

#15:

James and Sirius will make themselves scarce when Remus cries.

James and Sirius promise to give Remus his space but still give him hugs and cuddles and tell him they love him when he cries, because they know Remus hates crying and especially hates crying alone and that no matter what he says he wants them to stay.

Fuck you guys.

It’s okay, Moony. We love you.

#16:

Sirius and James hereby swear they will not make any werewolf jokes in front of Remus’ mother.

You’re no fun.

Pads…

I love you, my Moonshine.

#17:

Sirius and Remus hereby promise to keep their sappy gay shit away from James’ embarrassed bisexual ass.

Sure, sweetie. Sure.

#18:

Sirius will not sing, reference, dance to, play, or otherwise acknowledge the existence of any and all Disney Channel movies, High School Musical included.

Moony!

NO, Sirius.

#19:

Short pecks on the mouth are permitted. Short pecks are also acceptable on the nose, cheeks, forehead, hands, shoulders, jaw, ears, neck, and elsewhere if specified and consented to.

Remus and James will keep their dirty lips off of my hair.

We will not.

#20:

Remus and Sirius hereby agree to be referred to as Remus Potter and Sirius Potter respectively at James’ introduction.

Fine, but only if I can call you Sirius Lupin and James Lupin to total strangers.

Fine.

Fine.

I don’t want either of you to have my name.

Your name is Sirius Potter Lupin. It was never anything else. I don’t know why you’d be ashamed for us to borrow it.

I love you guys.

We know. We love you too.

#21:

When Sirius wears a skirt, Remus and James are required to tell him he looks beautiful in it.

And when Remus wears a skirt, Sirius and James have to tell him he looks beautiful in it.

Yes, yes, yes, we’re all gorgeous. Old news. Moving on!

Jealous, Jamie?

Oh stuff a toad up your ass you

Boys.

Sorry, Moony.

Sorry, Moony.

Hmm.

#22:

Sirius Potter Lupin, Remus Lupin, and James Potter solemnly swear to spend the rest of their lives loving each other, to the best of their ability and with the utmost honesty.

We solemnly swear to protect, defend, and guard each other from our own demons and the world around us that extorts them.

We solemnly swear to be loyal to each other above all else, to encourage the best in each other, and to accept one another as we are without conditions, exceptions, or judgement.

#23:

This list may be altered at any time by either Remus, Sirius, or James so long as there is a communicated understanding of why so. Until said altering is necessary, if said altering is necessary, this list will be kept in the safety of Remus’

humongous and annoying and boring oh my

favorite book, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Oh. I thought you were gonna say that Defense Against the Dark Arts book you’re always carrying around.

That’s a textbook, you dipshit. I’m required to carry it around.

Ah. Sorry.

ANYWAY, these rules and boundaries may always be altered or discarded. Understood?

Except for #22.

Except for #22.

Except for #22.

Alright. Except for #22.

#24:

The violation of any of these rules will result in Remus crying, Sirius punching something, and/or James refusing to eat. For the safety of each other and your poor friends and family (Merlin help them), please take care to act within the boundaries you all have agreed upon. Best of luck.

#25:

Translation: Try not to fuck it up, losers.

Signed 1976

James Potter (guys this is gonna be so great)

Sirius Potter Lupin (do you think Peter’s jealous???)

Remus Lupin (I swear to Merlin I will stab both of you)

Minerva Mcgonogall (now I know how you felt with Albus and I, Mr. Lupin)

Severus Snape (why am I involved in this again?)

#wolfstar #wolfstarbucks i guess but queerplatonic #james &x sirius &x remus #because we need more queerplatonic relationships in fandom #btw sirius and remus are dating in this but neither of them are dating james #just the slightest hint of #james x lily x severus #and #mcgonogall &x dumbledore #anyway #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black #sirius potter lupin #minerva mcgonagall #severus snape #again i'm so sorry for the formatting #but here #enjoy this #all that good gay shit #have a nice day y'all

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Minerva Mcgonogall & Albus Dumbledore’s QPP Rules & Boundaries as discussed and mediated by Remus Lupin:

QPP = queerplatonic partnership

Mcgonogall

Dumbledore

Remus

Hand-holding is only permitted if one of us is dying or we’re high.

Teatime shall only be interrupted by an life-threatening emergency. (Sirius Potter Lupin and Remus Lupin’s deteriorating mental states count as emergencies.)

No gossip about students’ love lives shall be withheld without proper reasoning, which must be backed up by sufficient evidence and/or three eyewitnesses.

Grindelwald Gellert Grindelwald will not be privy to any of my secrets, Albus.

Albus is not allowed sweets of any kind after ten p.m.. That was one time. It was not, dear.

If you touch my hats without permission I will end you.

Newt Scamander belongs to Albus or Minerva every other week. One person’s week may not be interrupted by the other under any circumstances.

Sleepovers are limited to three times a week and will not occur on Sundays, Mondays, or Tuesdays. Remus Lupin is always invited. Fine, then I’m inviting Severus Snape. Fine by me, Minnie. Fuck you, Albus.

Nicknames are absolutely forbidden.

Albus must lock his idiot bird away during our visits. Why? Don’t ask stupid questions, Albus.

Friday nights are reserved for dancing. Only to record players. And with the understanding that any singing of yours will result in a swift Silencio. You’re no fun. You married me. And I regret it every day.

Any jokes regarding Albus’ unappreciation of me will result in the expulsion of his tea into the lake that houses the squid. You bitch. Say sayonara to your Earl Grey, Albus.

On friend-dates in the Muggle world, bets must be placed on how many people will mistake us for a couple. Minimum stakes are mild annoyance; highest stakes are complete and utter humiliation at the hands of the Marauders without punishment. I will get you to expose your collection of smutty “novels” one day, Albus. And I will be sure to remember that as I hide exploding dragon eggs in your precious hat collection, Minerva. I am not afraid to slap a bitch, Albus.

If Sirius Potter Lupin cries, for ANY reason, Albus must cancel all classes for the day. He can’t find out about this rule. Oh please. I’ve already spoken to Remus and Regulus and they’ve agreed to keep it from him. Besides, this parchment is under strict instructions to burn itself should he ever even graze it with his sticky little fingers.

Minerva will buy Albus donuts with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles without complaint, and all deluxe versions of every Taylor Swift album without question. I’m not going to argue with you, Albus. That woman is a goddess amongst mortals. So disappointing, her lack of magic. I would have loved to teach her. We all know I would have been her favorite. Oh shut up, you wheezy old bitch.

Albus is forbidden from borrowing any of Minerva’s gowns. ANY of them. The last time I let him wear one he stretched it so far it hung off my frame like a frumpy old sack. Are you calling me fat? Of course not, Albus, I am merely pointing out that perhaps you should stop celebrating at holiday feasts quite so enthusiastically.

Minerva will accompany Albus to at least one visit to his husband per month. I did not agree to this. Too fucking bad. You know Grindelwald and I don’t get along. Whatever, you’re both stuck with me. You have to at least be able to tolerate each other for an hour. I regret you. I know.

The name of Minvera’s favorite book shall not be spoken aloud, sung, or written down. Why? You don’t want anyone knowing how much you enjoy reading about Avada Kedav OKAY FINE.

Albus concedes that Minerva is always right, no matter the argument or the circumstance. I do not. Albus, dear… Fine. Bitch. I could kill you. They’d acquit me and you know it. If I killed you they’d thank me. I’ll tell Grindelwald you won’t be joining him in Azkaban, then. Wait… Yeah. That’s what I thought.

This list may be altered at any time by either Albus or Minerva so long as there is a communicated understanding of why so. Until said altering is necessary, if said altering is necessary, this list will be kept in the safety of Albus’ giant unnecessary waste of space obscenely expensive important to my mental stability ball. I NEED IT MINERVA. You do not. Oh shut it you batty old witch. ALBUS!

The violation of any of these rules will result in immediate war. For the safety of Hogwarts and all its students, please take care to act within the boundaries you both have set. Best of luck.

Signed 1973

Minerva Mcgonogall (fed up with Albus’ bullshit)

Albus Dumbledore (has a collection of glitter he’s not afraid to use)

Remus Lupin (exhausted acting lawyer who wants a raise)

#mcgonogall &x dumbledore #&x meaning qpps #grindeldore #albus dumbledore #minerva mcgonagall #sirius black #remus lupin #harry potter #i'm not even sorry #here enjoy MY brain's version of crack #this is me trying to be funny #did it work??? #either way #have a nice day y'all #try not to kill anybody #i know it's hard #but try

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Severus Snape being an awesome teacher and human being

Au Volant - Elsa & Emilie

He makes sure to let students work on their own when they brew Amortentia. They only have to pass in a list of things they smell and he draws little smiley faces on them because he knows a lot of kids are very insecure about their feelings. (Once a kid passed in a list that just said, I’m sorry Professor but it doesn’t smell like anything, and on their paper Severus drew an ace and aro flag and a time for the student to be at Mcgonogall’s office that weekend for tea, along with a smiley face and an O grade.) (The student was Newt.) (Hailee’s just read, People are gross and if I fall in love with one I want you to kill me, to which Severus responded, Valid, and drew her a picture of a turtle.)

He makes fake batches of Felix Felicis and gives one to every student secretly before their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s so they feel extra confident going into the test but aren’t actually cheating.

He knows his area is Potions, but he teaches defense spells to students who come after class or report bullying anonymously. Severus Snape does not fucking stand for bullying in his classroom or outside of it. If you dare to pick on one of his students, he will burn you so hard with his mere words that you will wish you were dead. Do not fuck with Severus Snape’s kids.

On parent-teacher day, he drinks different batches of Polyjuice Potion to imitate certain students, all of whom hide away in their dorms after drinking a fine batch of invisibility potion. He then follows these select parents around and endures their horrifying, demeaning remarks about their “failure of a child” so his students don’t have to. He makes sure to give these students glowing praises to their parents when it’s his turn to offer feedback (after making up an excuse to go to the bathroom as the student), and takes mental notes of the parents’ most prominent criticisms so he can be sure to compliment those parts of his students during their next assignments (and also just because).

He brews sleeping potions for students he knows stay up all night studying and sometimes slips it into their drinks if they refuse to take it willingly. He then gives them back their (usually almost flawless) tests with the note that if they want a full O they need to sleep more.

He invites kids he knows don’t have many friends to have dinner and lunch and breakfast in his classroom whenever they’d like. He tries to make friends with some of them too, hoping to make their lives a little less lonely than his was.

He keeps an eye out for abusive home situations. He does his best to come up with excuses for those unfortunate students to stay at Hogwarts over breaks or to visit often over the summer. He tries to find them friends that will help them the way James helped Sirius and Regulus, and speaks to Mcgonogall about opening a home for these kids on campus. He does his best to be the parent he knows these kids don’t have, and is open about his own horrid past in hopes of getting some of them to fess up so he can help them better than he can without hearing it explicitly from their mouths.

He uses his Pensieve to collect happy memories of and for his students to reflect on when they need to and they sit in the corner of his classroom. (Among them are his wedding day to James and Lily, the day Harry was born, a couple playdates with the other Marauder children, Sirius and Remus’ wedding day, studying with Remus, pranking James with Sirius, Sirius and James asleep cuddled together with Remus on the couch in ugly Christmas sweaters, his son and many nieces and nephews playing dress-up, reading with Hermione and exploring with Luna and Newt, dancing with Draco (he likes to dance but was always ashamed to do it at the Malfoys), going on long drives with Regulus, the Blacks’ funeral (Regulus and Sirius performed a very gay stripper dance on top of their graves, it was beautiful), and many, many more.) Sometimes he can see his saddest students watching them and smiling, and their sad eyes twinkling make him smile.

He brings in a box of small kittens, puppies, and bunnies one day and lets them wander around the classroom. Some kids start crying because they haven’t felt this loved in years. After an incident with a bad potion and a rainbow puppy, he stops bringing them all out during class, but they’re there on the weekends and whenever a student needs to hug one (or borrow one, much to Mcgonogall’s chagrin).

He works to break down House biases and help students develop inter-House relationships and friendships. He wants every student to be proud of their House and not to treat anyone differently because of theirs. He creates (with Dumbledore, Sirius, and Regulus’ help) an annual House Pride, in which every student dresses up in their House colors and has their nails and skin painted and everyone is smiling and laughing and waving flags with their House emblems in the air. Even the teachers get in on it.

He stresses the importance of friendships, communication, and choices. He urges students not to make his mistakes by treating their friends well, talking about their feelings even if they’re ugly, and making the right choices in life for you and your loved ones, even if those choices are hard. He invites Lily in to talk about this too sometimes.

He sends out his Patronus every night to wander around the school. Often it comes back to him with nothing, but sometimes he can hear a student crying through it. He’ll instruct his doe to sit with the student until he gets there, and then he’ll walk around the castle, pretending to “accidentally” happen upon the crying student. He’ll sit with them until they’ve calmed down and listen if they want to talk and then take them to their dorm, bidding them goodnight and get well soon.

He gives students hugs when they want them. He didn’t want to originally, but Harry would greet him every class with a hug, and then one day Draco came in crying and attached himself to Severus like a sloth, so he patted him on the back and continued to hug him. Not long after, Hermione couldn’t figure out a potion and burst into tears out of frustration, turning and burying herself in his chest. After Luna wrapped her stick arms around his neck for no reason, Severus just accepted his fate and let his students hug him.

A lot of first years get scared in the hallways, since the staircases move and everywhere is incredibly crowded and they are oh so very small. Severus will often hold the hand of the most anxious ones for the first few weeks and walk them to class. Eventually they become more confident with the castle and themselves and stop needing it, but the occasional sixth year will slip their hand into his just because sometimes.

He walks around campus with students sometimes. He can tell when they’re nervous or sad or angry and he takes them on walks around the outskirts of campus and lets them vent. He also teaches them how to throw curses at the Whomping Willow just because (it’s for Remus but nobody’s gonna say it out loud).

He teaches students how to walk dramatically (as he should). He puts on student drag shows in the Great Hall with James’ help (who always kisses him way too enthusiastically because of it) and Dumbledore’s permission (so long as he gets to be the finale). The students work with Sirius on their drag looks and Sirius and Remus both join in the drag show for the opening act. Sirius’ job is to design and create the students’ looks while Remus tells them they look pretty and tames their stage fright. Severus just sits in the audience smirking while Lily screams in delight. (Regulus also shrieks with excitement eventually, though he does usually spend the first half trying to look disinterested.) (Peter’s job is to get the cookies and sweets (and underage alcohol).)

He turns into his snake Animagus form sometimes without warning when his students aren’t looking and just slithers around the classroom scaring the crap out of people. His favorite students are the ones brave enough to pet him. Harry and Newt are the only ones brave enough (and allowed) to wind him around their shoulders. Severus and Harry sometimes have conversations in Parseltongue.

He invents spells to help with dyslexia and other learning disabilities in his spare time. When he’s done with that he plans to try looking into some cures to mental illness. He’s thinking possibly a potion that treats PTSD by replacing traumatic memories with pictures of puppies, unicorns, bunnies, cats, and parrots. What do you think?

He tries hard to come up with solutions and modifications to his lessons for students with ADHD. He often talks to James about what the best steps to take are because James has ADHD. (So does Sirius, but his insecurities are bad enough that he won’t talk about it with anyone but Remus and James.)

He plays the violin sometimes during tests and uses Sonorus to make it echo throughout the classroom. Occasionally he cancels class and just plays until most of his students fall asleep. Those who want to work on extra work can, but he tries to keep their stress and general teenage angst to a minimum. (Though he encourages the emo phase.)

One of the first things he does after the Prank is get to work on a lycanthropy solution for Remus. After a couple years he invents the wolfsbane potion, but it doesn’t quite do the trick. Eventually he manages to figure out the cure, and when Remus finds out he cries so hard he can’t breathe right for days. (Sirius also cries. So does James. And Peter. And Lily and Regulus and Mcgonogall. Seriously, everyone cried and everyone hugged him and Severus tried to get away by transforming into his snake form but toddler Harry just grabbed him and refused to let go, so that didn’t work.) (He also helps Remus become a wolf Animagus when he asks almost a year later.)

He teaches certain kids Occlumency and Legilimency after school. It’s strictly for kids he knows come from abusive homes, whether they’re open about it or not, so they can tell when it’s going to be a bad night and get away or protect themselves. He teaches Occlumency for those who need to hide things from their parents (like Sirius and Regulus used to) and Legilimency to all, just in case. He focuses on stealth and untraceable versions of the craft to earn the kids as much time and protection as he can.

He figures out how to remove the Dark Mark from his own arm after the war. The next person he calls is Regulus, whose he also removes. He writes down the entire process and when the war starts up again, he keeps an eye out for students suddenly wearing long sleeves. He speaks with those he does find and helps them to make the right choice and join the right side of the war, starting with removing that horrid tattoo. (Draco bawls uncontrollably when Severus removes his.)

When they do the lesson on Veritaserum, he’s extra careful to make sure students don’t test it, especially on themselves or their friends. It, along with Amortentia, is the most guarded potion in his stash. The only times he uses it is when a student from an abusive home is too scared to tell him what’s going on, in which case he finds them somewhere private, asks them if they’d be okay with it and if so which teacher they want to be there to ask the questions (usually Remus, Sirius, or himself), and then administers the potion and leaves or begins to ask yes or no questions. It’s helped a lot of kids escape their families.

He tries to ease trepidations about himself early in the school year, since he’s aware he can be intimidating and the rampant stories regarding his time under Voldemort (though entirely as a spy) do not help. His friendships with Remus and Sirius often serve to alleviate students’ fears though, as they tend to tell embarrassing stories about him from their own Hogwarts days that make him seem more human (and make him want to strangle them, but that’s neither here nor there).

Every year, he works with Remus and Lily to arrange Muggleborn Pride. It’s an incredibly popular event with tons of Muggle inventions and artifacts floating through the air over students’ heads. At any time they can reach up and pull one down to study it. Many students dress as their favorite Muggle icons and characters. Because of this, Muggleborn students are more comfortable being who they are than ever before. (Some have even reclaimed the word Mudblood by setting up mud pits during their Pride.) (They also have more Slytherin Muggleborns now than any other time in recorded history.)

He tells Regulus’ story to every class of students, to teach them what true bravery is and how love and family, even if not blood, can change the course of history. Regulus survived his encounter with the Horcruxes and worked to destroy them and eventually Voldemort, but now lives away from the public eye in a secluded part of Muggle London. He and Severus are friends and visit often, and Regulus will occasionally come back to Hogwarts to say hello to his brother and mum (Remus), but for the most part he keeps his life intensely private. He allows his family to tell his story because he wants other kids to know they are not alone and that there is a way out, and that you are not a bad person for things you did in your childhood. Severus does his best to do it justice.

He has incredibly loud arguments with Dumbledore until he finally agrees to implement sex ed as a mandatory class at Hogwarts. Severus works with the other Marauders on the curriculum and they try to include multiple angles and identities in their lesson plan. At first they try to trust Remus with it, but Remus doesn’t go anywhere without Sirius who is less than tactful and Remus himself has some deadpan sarcasm and a lack of shame to rival James Potter’s, so. They try Lily. She can’t stop giggling. Finally they beg Regulus to come back and teach it. He’s surprisingly… perfect for the job. (He steals parenting books from Amir, that’s his secret.)

When James visits, everything becomes chaos for a bit. While he mostly hangs out with Sirius and Remus and causes trouble with them, he certainly seems to enjoy sitting in the back of Severus’ classroom and bothering him during lessons. The only way to get him to leave is to turn into a snake and wind himself around his shoulders, which makes James shriek and sputter and run away (James has always had an irrational fear of snakes; odd that he married one then, innit?). But when James isn’t causing chaos, he’s following Severus around adoringly and grabbing at his hand, whispering jokes in his ear and kissing his cheek. Despite all of the times he’s a pain in the ass, there are always these little moments that remind Severus why he fell in love with him in the first place (entirely unwillingly and with much stubborn pride on both ends, but, well. It is what it is and they got here eventually, so that’s all that matters).

When Lily visits, everything is calm. She reigns all of the Marauders in and forces them to have picnics under the tree where they all used to do homework. She often holds Severus’ hand and dances with him there, turning his insides to useless goo. She’s always full of laughter and fairy bells, and though she makes every student question their priorities and life decisions, she’s a favorite of them all. Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t pull him aside and say, “You’re a lucky, lucky man.” (Or, in James’ case: “Fuck, love, how’d we bloody manage that?” (Severus just shrugs. It’s not like he knows.))

He helps kids with autism feel more like they belong. He also works to educate non-autistic students how to better socialize and respect those who are, and takes extra care to dispel myths about autism and its causes, effects, and characteristics. Lily helps when she can.

Above all, Severus tries to give his students the education he never had. Anything he can provide for them he will. He’s been given a second chance and by Merlin is he going to bloody use it.

#severus snape #pro snape #marauders #pro marauders #james potter #lily evans #regulus black #remus lupin #sirius black #minerva mcgonogall #albus dumbledore #james x lily x severus #wolfstar #hailee sirirem amirus lupin is regulus' kid with this librarian muggle amir levis #maxwell neeedles is a punk nonbinary with magenta hair #they're a hufflepuff with gryffindor energy whose animagus is a cheetah #they're peter's partner and their son is seamus finnigan #remus and sirius adopted hermione and luna and draco and newt #severitus #severus and james and lily are all harry's parents #mcgonogall is dumbledore's qpp #james and sirius and remus are qpps #this is my harry potter canon now #fuck jk rowling #everybody's gay #harry potter #have a nice day y'all