#maybe thats part of it too..the more my bf meets people in my life the more stable it feels

[bridgetotheskyyy]

I've seen you have written a Renji fic so i wanted to ask...any headcanon about him? Thanks!

Omg Renji ~

I've actually talked about Renji and have shared some of my thoughts for him here, but I can go in a bit deeper in a few hcs. Also sorry this took so long asdfghgfdsa -

Renji’s very traditionally romantic ― dinner dates with candles, flowers, come to their door to meet your dad type of man. Renji a man who throws 100% into whatever he does, so he somehow manages to make the cliche riveting effortlessly. I think anything having to do with romance he would take very seriously. Renji’s a romantic at heart and very earnest. Totally the type to confess his love all dramatically to them (even though you’re already in a relationship lol). He’s very meticulous, a mind like a steel trap, and remembers the tiniest things about his partner, so surprises are always very nuanced and especially sweet.

Definitely not the one to make the first move or anything; Renji’s shy with someone he’s interested in, so he tries to woo them in other, more discreet ways, like impressing them with his bankai or combat skills, or his proficiency as a lieutenant and leader. These are things he excels at, so he tries to be THIS Renji whenever they’re around. He’s also the one to run around and do lots of favors and tasks for them if they ask. If they need something for work, it won’t be a surprise when that thing magically appears. He’s the guy to listen in to what they need and then one day just say, “Oh, btw, got you this.” Like, try to be all unbothered, cool guy about it, when he knows damn well he’s been scouring the universe for the ONE thing they need.

Supremely jealous partner. Not even in the cute bf way. Renji doesn’t have the most self-esteem, having to compete with his rival/captain, Kuchiki. There’s also the issue of his upbringing on the streets of Rukongai, so doubts are sure to plague him of not being good enough for his crush, of not being able to offer much. Deep down he fears he’s not good enough for his partner, that he won’t be able to give them the world and this haunts his every action. So this is definitely something he and his partner are gonna have to address.

Prefers a partner that can rival him intellectually, and maybe in ways he wouldn’t expect, like introducing him to a new hobby or subject in life, like philosophy or literature. It’s part of the reason he admires the astute Byakuya Kuchiki so much. Renji really can’t stand dumb people lol. He’s made a name for himself being something of a bruiser but he’s really the whole package: brains and brawns.

He doesn’t really like his hair all that much, thats why he ties it up and keeps it out of the way. And the only reason he keeps it long is 1) because he’s used to it the way it is and 2) because he loves the feel of his partner’s hands through it. His partner is really the only one outside of himself who can touch his hair and if they play with it for too long he will playfully slap their hands away. Like, “ok, stop.” lol 

― NSFW

Definitely a virgin. There probably won’t be sex until the relationship is firmly established (or even marriage, I wouldn’t put it past him to be that conservative lol!) The first time with his partner is really just him feeling around, too proud to admit he doesn’t really know what he’s doing but eager to learn how to satisfy his partner. And, thankfully, Renji is a quick learner. He’s very attuned to what his partner likes and what they don’t. This appreciation for his partner’s body quickly evolves into body worship, which he’s fond of; he can take his time with one particular part of their body and appreciate that one part for what will feel like hours. 

Has a bit of a size kink, but a reverse size kink? He’s fascinated with having a smaller partner (if his partner is smaller). The difference in sizes of hands, the way they feel so fragile in his embrace. And then, he’s doubly fascinated with the way they can take him so easily, not nearly as fragile as they look. 

Speaking of which, there’s a bit of a praise kink in there as well. Nothing sends Renji over the edge like knowing he’s making his partner feel so good they can’t contain themselves. 

Has a weakness for legs and smiles. His favorite positions are the one where his partner can have their legs wrapped around him. A partner with a cute smile can get him to do pretty much anything. He’s also fond of neck kisses, giving and receiving, and sensual neck kisses and hickies is usually how he initiates sex. 

#abarai renji x reader #renji abarai headcanons #renji abarai x reader #bleach imagine #bleach x reader #I'm sorry if you wanted something more in depth feel free to send another #renji abarai #abarai renji #bleach imagines #bleach #renji x s/o

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

somethings to say about the Nina tribute video:

i originally planned on her video maybe being 5 minutes long

def was not my plan to have a 15 minute video. (14:50 if you wanna get technical)

wowza.

and im STILL missing the uncut version (yep there's more!)

but im honestly okay with it bc well the thing about nina is that she had SO much going on:

navigating a new school and residence, dodging false accusations from an angry girl, meeting this mysterious woman that sends her on a quest, becoming the de-facto leader of a new group and people looking to her for what to do next, sarah dying, hearing voices around the house, thinking she may be going insane, rufus zeno threatening not just her life but her friends’ lives as well, learning she’s the chosen one and assembling a magical cup all in less than five minutes, an evil spirit threatening her life and now her bf’s life and now her friends’ and grandmother’s life unless she finds some mystical mask in a set of tunnels under the house, accidentally hexing her friends leading to alfie regressing to a child and baby; and amber aging to a very scary point, choosing to put on the mask of anubis in order to save her friends and gran’s lives which meant her going into the field of rushes and just flat out die basically. all the while deal with romance drama and joy’s villain era.

so to put all of that in a five minute video would not suffice it nor do her justice

i did try and do parts for each song

power of the mind is and always will be a nina song, it was the first song i picked out for her and i just think it really fits her

like the first song is mainly her introduction, the most important bits like meeting sarah, getting the locket, her parallels to sarah and her ingenuity as well as smarts and recklessness too, just her character overall and then we slowly moved to chosen one stuff in the next song and then senkhara's hold over her as well as why she wants the mask after that

i didnt show a lot of rufus going down bc it's nina's story to tell, rufus is a whole other thing and at the end, i really tried to focus on nina specifically

that being said, it does end with fabian (and amber) missing her, the last bit of her being the hand written letter (not the locket, that's another thing entirely) i wanted to focus on something nina did rather than what she was given

i used imovie for the software, dont really have anything to say about it bc its free for me so i dont really know other video editing software *shrug*

the penultimate song (the way by zack hemsey) was almost this song called dwell on dreams and i changed it bc it was just too uplifting, like nope, we gotta go down darkness right now

i listened to like eight different songs trying to decide what fit fabina in the end, and i think last kiss by taylor swift really does summarize them in majority, if anyone else has another song please let me know

there’s seriously enough recorded content to make a senkhara video im ngl

also a victor video would be fun too but i’d have to go back and record his scenes again bc i was mainly focused on sibuna stuff

at one point nina’s video has over 54 minutes of content. yep. (thats not including the fabina scenes. in total it should come around to an hour and thirteen minutes. yep.)

15 doesnt sound like a lot now, does it?

i just realized while i didnt end up publishing it on July 7th, i managed to get it out there on July 17 which i think is a fun win!

my favorite part of the video is prob when vera asks victor “what is it about that girl? she makes you nervous, decidedly nervous.” i love it, i wished more characters talked about nina and what she can do, like idk rufus or some of the teachers smth like “dont underestimate them. especially nina martin.” and shit.

like for example in the s1 ending for HHA victor’s on the phone w the real bad guy or whatever, and he’s asking who’s responsible for all this shit and victor answers, “Her name… is Nienke. Nienke Martens.” or smth like that i cant remember

the next video is Alfie’s and i hope his does remain with five minutes bc the song i have for him is perfect and unlike Nina he does have one direct line of evolution from class clown to traumatized to untrustworthy sibuna to brave sibuna, proving to us and to his friends but most importantly to himself that he’s the bravest sibuna no matter what.

#house of anubis #hoa #sibuna #nina martin #nina tribute

[transxfag]

thinking about my desire in casual sex vs LTRs

i think my desire when it comes to hookups/casual sex are different than what i want with my boyfriend/long term partner ... cuz when i fantasize about casual hookups / stuff i'd like to do with people i dont have a connection with, its primarily service top stuff, focused on giving the other person something but not primarily interested in receiving pleasure ...

and also. like. im just so uninterested in being topped by someone i dont know? idk if its cuz im (maybe?) demisexual/grey-asexual or if its a dysphoria thing or what, but when i imagine bottoming for someone other than my current bf, i just dont get turned on, and sometimes it borders on feeling repulsed by the idea ...

and before i dated david (hes the first person i was ever with sexually b/c i didnt date much in high school) i only ever imagined topping, or at least doing things To the other person rather than For me, and i liked that idea and thought it was all id ever want, so it surprised me when david and i discovered we were both vers (hed thought he only ever want to bottom, and i thought id only ever want to top, and now we pretty much only do the opposite lol)

when we have sex, i dont feel guarded or like i need to Only focus on him - i just sort of let myself do what feels good in the moment and let him do what feels good also? like he really likes topping me so i was okay with trying to bottom and over time i realized i actually like it a lot too and now i initiate it more often than not

but with people i dont know, i dont think i feel comfortable (now, maybe ever? idk i guess it could change w/ time) with bottoming for them ... maybe a part of me also feels like it's a particularly emotional sex act as compared to oral and manual sex, which dont feel super "sacred" to me - i guess that could be cultural heterosexist baggage, but it could also be a dysphoria thing? cuz i Do still have some bottom dysphoria every now and then. its not nearly as bad as it was before david and i got together but its still not Awesome all of the time

maybe i would feel differently if it were with another trans man, too. thats smth ive been interested in exploring, once we're officially open (we've been working towards an open relationship for a while but life is too hectic to act on it rn so we're waiting until things are a little less stressful before we can meet up w people). ive only ever had sex with amab penises so far, but i do think other transmasc bodies are very attractive and im really drawn to t4t sexually so id love to hook up with another trans guy one day :')

#text #journal

[awigglycultist]

Okay hatchetfield zombie apocalypse au bc why not ("but tgwdlm is a zombie apocalypse" shh no that's an alien musical apotheosis and also this is won't be the exact same as tgwdlm)

This ended up being way longer than I thought it would and also kinda ramblely (is that a word??) oops. So read the rest under the cut

Okay this takes place in 2019

Emma and Paul are together, emam ofc suggests they going to her cooky reclusive biology professor

This isn't the apocalypse Henry excepted and he doesn't like that, but hey he still prepped for an apocalypse so he's safe

Since this isn't a musical apocalypse and it'd probably be pretty hard to get money off of someone during a zombie apocalypse, so he's currently not trying to murder anyone

He let's Emma and Paul stay with him

But then Emma is like "hey you have room do you think my nephew, brother in law and his gf could stay with us? The gf's a nurse she could be helpful!!"

He eventually agrees

Then Paul's like "hey my coworkers are kid dumb asses there's know way they're surviving an apocalypse on their own can they stay with us? And also one of them has daughter and the other has a little brother (cough cough HCB) them too?"

And then Hidgens ends up agreeing to that, and then Alice and HCB are ofc both like "wait hold on our friends-" (ie: Deb, Ziggs, Grace Chasity (this would be HCB's friends not Alice's ofc), Cineplex kid (because I said so) Ethan (also Tony, my beloved) Lex and Hannah (once again, because I said so, do we seem them interact? No, but they're friends now)

And Hidgens at this point is like "well fucking fine I guess so! Bring em here we have a bunch of ppl already so why not!!"

All of these people, living under one roof (albeit a very big roof) is ofc chaos!

I'd imagine ppl kinda stay in groups a bit tho. Like the teens stay with each other for the most part. CCRP gang hangs out together most. Ect.

Still, very chaotic. The teens (really mostly Deb, Ethan and Lex) causing plenty of trouble. The adults all being dumb asses. Plenty of arguments between Bill and Ted ofc. And probably several arguments between the nerdy prudes (grace, hcb and cineplex) and the other teens. Probably one fight between Alice and Ziggs but it gets settled quickly and they figure everything out and clear the air and become good friends.

I mean you think this amount of ppl, particularly this certain group of ppl, are going to be well organized durning the apocalypse? Hell no!

Hidgens is the only one that actually understands shit about apocalypse, he's the one who prepared! (once again: although for the wrong one) so he's constantly having to be like "no we can't do that that's dangerous!!" Emma, Alice and Lex are the only other really competent ones.

Hidgens ofc spends his time trying to find a cure, Emma helps him. If life ever goes back to normal she has an automatic A in his class for the rest of college just for going through this shit and helping him.

Tom, Bill, and Tony are the dads. They're obviously dealing with the kids. But the do mainly try and focus on their own kid because... That their kid ofc they care about them the most. But they try to take care of the other kids too.

Bill has a rough time connecting with anyone besides Alice. But Grace was always nice to him church so there's that. And ofc Alice has gf, a gf he doesn't like a ton but now he's very much stuck with so he might as well try and get along with. They eventually do.

Tom ofc like I said cares most about Tim. But after him the next he cares most about are CaliforMIA gang. Lex and Ethan were his students (I know it's not confirmed that Ethan was one of students but he is now bc I want him to be), probably his favorite students, and that Lex's little sister who's only a few years older than Tim, ofc he's also gonna care a lot about them.

Tony also cares alot about Lex and Hannah, that's his son's gf and her little sister, once again, ofc he'll care about them alot too.

Becky absolutely cares about all the kids a ton!! She's a nurse who works with kids, she's very nurturing and mother like. She cares for and about them all fairly equally but Tim is her favorite because... Well that's her bf's son and she's known him the longest out of any of the kids ofc. Lex and Hannah end up loving Becky alot because she's so much kinder and sweet than their biological mother.

Before the apocalypse Ted took care of HCB, now he's still taking care of him ofc. Ted doesn't want to be taking care of any of the kids besides his brother. He wants to drink and party and stuff. I mean it's the apocalypse so why not? But he ends up taking care of Grace and Cineplex quite a bit too. This happens not bc others aren't taking care of them, they are being taken by the other plenty well (like I said the dads and Becky all care for all the kids they just have favorites) but because they see HCB going to Ted for almost everything and Ted doing stuff for/helping out HCB so they're like "well okay guess we'll go to him too" He's not happy about it. He already has to deal with his obnoxious little nerdy prude bother and now there's two more? But part of them reminds him a lot of himself when he was younger. Maybe that's why he doesn't like them, or also maybe that's why secretly likes them a ton?

Hidgens, Emma, Ted, Tom and Lex are the ones that go out most often because they're the only who are really able to fight off the zombies and stay safe a stuff (okay Ted not so much as the others but they bring him anwyay cause Henry's like "he looks like he can use gun or something" and Emma, Paul, Bill and Charlotte are all like "this is a horrible idea don't bring him" but they do anwyay. He doesn't kill any of the others so hey why not keep bringing him? Besides if something goes wrong they can use him as bait or throw him to the zombies to get them off the rest of the group /hj)

Other ppl in Hatchetfield exist of course and are out they're trying to survive. Sam and Pamela are some of the first to die that's karma bitch

Lex and Hannah were living with Pamela ofc when the apocalypse hit, the girls wanted to go somewhere safer but Pam wouldn't let them, then one day she went out and got turned into a Zombie, the girls quickly took that as their chance to escape and they went to Tony and Ethan and then ofc ended up at Hidgens'

Charlotte was with Sam before he turned into a Zombie and then when he did she ran to Ted & HCB and stayed with them before they ended up at Hidgens'

Gary and MIAH are together and trying to survive on they're own. Sylvia, Melissa, and Greenpeace Girl end up meeting each other and decide to gang up together and they're badasses. Dan and Donna are two focused on the news and finding out if Peanuts is surving (which yes, Peanuts, (as well as Papa Ed.. At least for a while) are doing fine) and they die pretty quickly. Holloway and Duke are doing great, Holloway's a witch so yeah she's good and ofc Duke is with her so he's good too.

Lucy is in Hatchetfield and she's already in the woods vibing with Chumby before the apocalypse hits (THAM doesn't happen in this universe and instead Lucy ends up finding Chumby own her own because uh??? Reasons??? Idk bc I said so) the two of them have no idea there's a zombie apocalypse. The Paul clones take this apocalypse as they're chance to escape, Paul23 leading the uprising ofc, they don't kill Paul and take his place tho, instead it's more like "there's a zombie apocalypse? Oh fuck yeah!" *escapes* "oh theres a zombie apocalypse oh no-" some try to stay in a group and live together, some try to go out their own. There's now a bunch of random Pauls and Paul zombies around town. The main gang do end up seeing the clones and they're all just kind like "uhhh wtf???" except Paul, he's absolutely freaking out, the clones kinda are just "uhh haha how do we explain this".

Spoiler alert: the world isn't destroyed. How? Not totally sure yet but probably through Hidgens managing to find a cure and time travel. Emdriod has traveled back in time to replace Emma, but oopsie she didn't travel back far enough so she can't kill Emma in Guatemala, so she goes to Hatchetfield in hopes she can kill Emma when no ones looking and just replace her then, but oh no there's apocalypse so thats a much bigger issue. She survives easily, she's strong af, doesn't need food, all that jazz. She and Emma do meet each other and it's another "wtf?" "how do I explain this?" situation. But Emdriod lies ofc and kinda explains what happened but said that she accidentally time travelled and leaves out the whole wanted to kill her part. Now the Emdriod has found Emma she does try to kill her, that's awfully hard to do tho considering Emma is literally always with a group of people, and Emdriod doesn't want to just kill Emma right in front of everyone bc then they'll all hate her and her goal isn't to just kill Emma it's too replace her. She end up giving up and she runs into Paul 23 and they bond of my doubles of someone and wanted to kill that somoen at first and then fall in love and kill zombies together :)

Ohh uhh other ships: Paulkins, Lexthan, Barneston, Potseed (Alice x Deb) ofc. Charted, Obnoxious Teens (HCB x Cineplex Kid) oh and ofc Holloduke. Uhh Bill x being okay for once, Ted x probably not dying for once (not too sure about that one yet) Hidgens x not actually trying to murder someone for once

Wait wait I just got idea: the zombie apocalypse occurs BECAUSE of Hidgens, he tries too bring back the working boys (remember his original backstory with accidentally killing them and stuff??)

Okay I think that's all I got for now

#starkid #hatchetfield #tgwdlm #black friday #nightmare time

[emetkoto]

What was k'oto and g'raha's relationship like during the crystal tower questline? also how did he feel watching those doors close on g'raha knowing they were unlikely to meet again?

i did that thing where i accidentally write too much again. sorry </3

k'oto has chronic "must protect soft kind boys" syndrome so right off the bat he was more friendly and receptive to g'raha than normal..its hard to explain its just like. he sees a nice looking man. he is more willing to trust them right off the bat :) less 'guilty until proven innocent' like usual and more 'innocent until proven guilty' ! its kind of a problem of his, judging people like that as soon as he meets them but this isnt a character study of k'oto its about him and his bf so lets move on

ANYWAY so yeah k'oto thought g'raha was pretty chill and funny and kinda cool like the man was an archon and had allagan blood and was a badass archer and his enthusiasm was contagious <3 it really helped k'oto get through the crystal tower stuff which he originally saw as kind of an annoying drag of a task he didn't want to do, he wasnt particularly interested in allagan history and didnt think or care much about the tower....he was in the middle of a 'why do i have to be the one to do this' phase, back then he didnt fully grasp why or how he was so important so being made to do stuff like this annoyed the hell out of him but g'raha came along and was so excited about it he was like 'ok....maybe i can do this if it means this guy will smile more and his eyes will sparkle and he'll infodump on me a little more'....he was just glad to have another chill friend yknow thats why he liked cid so much bc he was just Chill <3 it was basically puppydog (kittycat?) love, k'oto never in his life could have guessed how little time theyd have together so he didnt think much of that lil crush and was like 'ill think about that later'.....oops! later is a lot later than he thought </3

g'raha was ofc very excited to meet k'oto, he'd heard all about the cool stuff he had been upto and was a bit jealous of how many grand adventures he'd been on and how much impact he'd had on the world in such a short amount of time, the normal g'raha idolizing wol thing yknow? he wanted to be a lot closer with him but found himself hesitating a lot because. inferiority complex and imposter syndrome is a bitch, trust me buddy i get it </3 even if he could see k'oto was kinda crushing he was just like 'nah...no way the warrior of light likes me' so they just kinda both. didnt do much about it at all! they had a little moment there on top of the tower before the end of the questline and both of them were like 'oh man maybe theres a chance for something here' and then...........................g'raha realized his destiny and sealed himself in the tower :,)

k'oto was like. devastated when he realized what was going on, it was the first time that someone other than him was the 'chosen one' and even though he always asked for it to be someone else he didnt mean it like this cmon hydealyn he likes this guy,,,,,but yknow g'raha was like 'this is my destiny ive got to do it' and it kinda helped k'oto realize his own importance bc sometimes...you really ARE just the only person who can take on a responsibility no matter how much it sucks and can hurt, so he and g'raha were able to part with a (pained) smile in the hopes they'd be able to meet again someday....but k'oto really didnt get his hopes up too much, everyone had made such a big deal about how hard it is to open the tower that he really just thought it was the end, even if it got opened it wouldn't be in his lifetime so he kinda. blew that real bad </3

needless to say they were both. SO happy to get a second chance

#ocs #koto tia #grahakoto #words of mimi

[probably-writing-x]

Unwelcome home.

Guzmán x Reader

Request by @elitesonly : hii! may you write a guzman x reader , where the reader goes away for a trip with her parents and comes back and guzman (her ex bf) starts dating a new girl that just transferred (cayetana) and forgets about the reader until they come back . (and the rest is to you) . love your writing💯✨

Gif is not my own

Requests are open🤍

Stepping foot back onto the ground of the school felt like you’d stepped back to six months. Everything felt exactly the same, everything in its normal place, a sea of unchanged uniform and carbon copies of the same people.

“(Y/n)!” Carla calls when she sees you, hurrying over, “What are you doing home?”

“We’re back!” You reveal, wrapping her in a big hug, “Dads set up his business and its running smoothly so we’ve moved back and he’ll be between here and England to keep checks on everything. But I’m home!”

“Oh, girl, it hasn’t been the same without you!” She sighs, “You have so much to catch up on.”

“Please tell me you’ll tell me everything, I feel so out of place,” You joke, “What do I need to know?”

“Well, there’s a lot so we’ll definitely have to find time for the details. But after you left, we had some new kids join - Rebe, Valerio and Cayetana...”

She continues to explain the stories of the other two new people until she gets to Cayetana.

“And so she invited Lu round and Valerio and Guzmán came. And then it kind of became this big thing because her and Guzmán kissed and they’ve been together ever since. I mean Lu was pretty pissed because she thought she’d be next in line after you left,” Carla scoffs, “But Guzman’s with Cayetana now.”

You swallow the lump in the throat and she must notice your change in expression.

“Shit sorry, I didn’t really think of how things ended between you two. I didn’t expect it from him either,” She sighs, her brows furrowing.

You shake your head, tucking some hair behind your ear and trying to re-compose yourself, “Whats she like?”

Carla lets out a little laugh, “Nothing compared to you darling.”

She wraps an arm around you and it gives you a little bit of reassurance. You and Guzmán had split up when you moved to London as you’d both realised how hard you’d find it to manage your separate lives whilst also trying to keep up with a long distance relationship. Part of you had always expected him to be waiting. Just as you had done. You’d been on a few dates with one guy but it never went any further than that, and that had been your final straw to decide that it wasn’t worth it. You weren’t over Guzmán. Clearly he didn’t have the same mindset.

“Girl, who needs Guzmán anyway? Haven’t you found a fancy British boy?” Carla laughs, always managing to make you stop worrying so much.

“Not even close,” You shake your head, “I wasn’t really interested in anything like that.”

“Are you in class with us?” She asks as you approach the class where all of the typical group sat.

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

Inside, your eyes only focus on one boy in particular. Guzmán is sat in the centre of the class with one arm around the back of the chair beside him - the chair occupied by the girl you assumed was Cayetana.

“(Y/n)!” Ander exclaims when he sees you, “How have you been?”

You smile and give him a warm hug, “I’m good, I’m good. How are you?”

“Glad you’re back,” He grins, “We’ll need to catch up, okay?”

You give a hug to Nadia as she greets you, and you introduce yourself to Valerio and Rebeca until you turn around to see Cayetana now stood in front of you.

“I’m Cayetana!” She smiles and you already sense a falseness about her. No, you couldn’t be rude - it was her boyfriend you had the problem with.

“(Y/n),” You nod to introduce yourself.

You see her smile falter and her eyes flit to Guzmán for just a second, “You’re (Y/n)?”

From behind you, you hear Lu let out a scoff but try not to respond in any way yourself.

“Yeah, thats me.”

She tucks her hair behind her ears and takes her seat beside Guzman once again, her hand settling on his thigh, “Well it’s nice to meet you.”

You force a smile too, “You too. And it’s good to see you Guzmán.”

He wishes he could say more. He wishes he could get up and wrap his arms around you and kiss the lips that he’d been missing for so long. But Cayetanas hand hadn’t moved from his leg and you’d already taken your seat with Carla.

- - - - - -

It’s a whirlwind to try and fall back into the patterns of Las Encinas - especially when Cayetanas lies had been exposed only a week after you’d first got back. Yep, you were definitely back home.

Your heart had practically dropped as Lu spoke the words, Cayetana being exposed completely for being a fraud and lying to the entire year. Though, all you could think of was how Guzmán would react. He’d believed her. So much so that he’d dated her. And she’d just been using him as a way of further shielding herself from being found out - date the most popular boy in school.

“Guzmán,” She hurries over to him instantly, “Guzmán, baby, I can explain.”

She lifts up her hand and cups his cheek, to which he completely ignores the gesture.

“I was going to tell you, I promise...”

Guzmán scoffs and pushes her hand away from him, setting his glass down on the side before he goes to walk off. She goes to follow but you’re moving quicker than you can think too much about. You step in front of her and stop her with a hand on her chest.

“Don’t follow him. The last thing he needs now are your excuses,” You state coldly, “Don’t hurt him any more than you already have.”

“Like you haven’t hurt him?” She seethes, evidently finding no defence for herself and instead focusing on belittling you.

“I’m not saying I’m innocent,” You look her up and down, “But I think there are a lot of other people here that you need to explain your lies to before you try to fix your lie of a relationship. Understood?”

With that, you hurry down the stairs on the rooftop and push through the crowd until you can find Guzmán amongst the heads.

“Guzmán!” You call, slowing down when there is no longer any people between you two.

He turns around at the sound of your voice, evidently not expecting you to be the one who’d end up following behind him.

“I’m so sorry,” You sigh, furrowing your brows like it would give any more sympathy to this situation.

He scoffs, “They set up this entire event to give her money to try and live a life like everyone else - can you believe that?”

“It’s ridiculous, but she was desperate enough to do whatever she could. She didn’t care who she hurt, it could’ve been anyone in the explosion and she’d have still set the plan in motion.”

“I just happened to be in the middle,” He scoffs, “All to try and forget you.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and sigh, “Was that all she was to you, Guzmán?”

“She didn’t leave like you did,” He snaps, “She made me feel like I could actually be her priority.”

“So she really was my replacement?” You step down a little closer to him, “I thought I was irreplaceable.”

You’d quoted something he’d told you when you left.

“You are,” He smirks, “That was the trouble.”

A silence drops between the two of you. You had nothing to say to him, despite having six months of things to express to the boy you’d told everything to him. But now, as Cayetana’s debris was falling and crashing around you, all you could think of was what had happened when you’d gone. How long did it take him to try to move on? Had he told her he loved her? Was that all she was - a replacement? Or maybe that was just because she’d gone now, and he couldn’t bare the thought of being alone. Too many questions.

“You left (Y/n), and you gave up on us,” He points out, “Cayetana was here, and she was nice, and she wasn’t planning on leaving me.”

“I had reason to go, Guzmán. My family had commitments and I made that clear to you,” You defend, “I thought it best for both of us to not try to make this work. I didn’t want to force myself into hating you because we were trying our best to make something work when it was impossible.”

“So instead you dropped it all and abandoned me for an entire six months. Did you expect things to be the same when you got home?” He shrugs his shoulders, “Did you think I’d be sat on those stairs at school waiting for you?”

You smirk and step forward to face him properly, “I came here to make sure you were okay, and you seem fine - clearly.”

He looks away from you but you turn his chin to focus on you again.

“I did wait for you Guzmán,” You say directly into those eyes, “I promised myself I’d come back for you and not feel guilty for anything I’d done in London. I thought both of us would’ve at least kept that in common. I knew you couldn’t be replaced either, but the difference is that I didn’t try to replace you.”

With that, you drop your soft hold on his face and walk yourself away from that party. He might have lost Cayetana. But that didn’t mean he’d got you back. It wasn’t a bargaining value, one for the other. He’d replaced you, in only a matter of months he’d tried to find someone to replace you and he’d committed himself to someone else. He knew you’d be coming home eventually. Why couldn’t he just wait for eventually?

- - - - - -

When school starts on the following Monday, you and Carla are walking down the corridor chatting about everything that unfolded over the weekend - making sure she updated you on all of the gossip she’d collected on what had happened in the aftermath of Cayetana’s exposure. You’re about to turn to follow Carla into the class when you see someone sat on the stairs and you can’t help but stop at the sight.

“I’ll catch up with you in a minute,” You assure her, turning instead to the boy taking up an annoying space amongst the flooding crowds.

Carla follows your eyes to see what had caught your attention and she lets out a laugh, “You two are impossible.”

You walk yourself toward him until you’re close enough to catch his attention. He looks up at you with a classic smile lighting up his face.

“Seriously?” You cock a brow.

His face drops instantly and he looks down at his feet, clearly losing the hope that he’d built from seeing you approach.

“You thought this would work?” You fight back a smile.

“I just thought it would give me chance to explain myself,” He sighs, pausing the music playing through his headphones.

“What are you listening to?” You ask him, taking the space beside him on the stairs as a seat.

He looks at you with a little bit of surprise before he fumbles and slips the headphones over your ears, hands slowing as he brushes your hair out of the way.

“I’ve been kind of out of the loop with Spanish music,” You comment, “Although I have a lot of English songs to play you now, grime is really big in London and I think you might like it.”

He smiles as you listen to the song before you pull the headphones back off from your head.

“I don’t think you did the right thing by getting with Cayetana - I mean, out of everyone!” You joke a little to at least lighten the mood slightly, “But I do agree that I shouldn’t have ended things. I knew I’d spend that entire time in London waiting to come back here, to you - if that had been six months or six years. You’d left too much of a mark for that to be erased so quickly. I made a quick decision and it was the wrong one, just because I didn’t want us to become one of those couples that just distance and argue all the time and lose trust for each other.”

“I don’t think we’d have ever done that, you’re terrible in confrontation,” He jokes, “I heard what you said to Cayetana at the party, I was impressed you had it in you.”

You laugh a little, “So you waited to hear that but still made me run after you?”

He looks down at his feet again with a smirk, “I should’ve never tried things with Cayetana, or anyone for that matter - even if Lu would’ve been the better choice. I felt lost (Y/n). And I saw this photo of you at an event with your parents and you looked so happy, I thought you’d just moved on and I’d have to do too. She was there and I took the opportunity before I had the chance to think of whether it was a good idea or not. I shouldn’t have, I know.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that.”

“It wouldn’t have ever lasted with her, you know, even if she hadn’t turned out to be a fraud,” He chuckles, “All I could think of was how different she was to you and how much I hated that. And I’m sorry for hurting you by being with her in the first place.”

You nudge his shoulder, “I think we both did things we shouldn’t have done.”

“So, where does this leave us?” He raises his brows, gulping and bobbing his Adam’s apple as a result.

“Oh, I hate your guts,” You joke, “But I don’t see why we can’t give ourselves a second chance, for ourselves and each other. And see where that takes us.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” He smiles and looks back down to his feet now with his cheeks tainted by a blush, “I can go with a second chance.”

#guzman #guzman imagine #guzman one shot #guzman drabble #guzman blurb #guzman writing #guzman fanfiction #guzman request #guzman x you #guzman x reader #guzman x y/n #elite #elite netflix #elite series #elite writing #elite fanfiction #elite request #elite blurb #elite drabble #elite one shot #elite imagine #elite guzman

[syfynjvall]

OTP ASK GAME - farah & juliette

tagged by @havennly thank u!! i’m gonna tag @agentnatesewell @bryceslahela @agentfreckles @serafinedupont @agentnats if youve done it already i apologize ksks

(long post warning)

DISAGREEMENTS.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

juliette, but it’s honestly never anything serious. more often than not its just bc she gets very competitive during game nights

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

neither, even kidding about it kinda hurts each others souls

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither

Who trashes the house?

i cant see either of them doing it

Do either of them get physical?

never in a million years

How often do they argue/disagree?

not often, and when they do its mostly about petty things like leaving empty containers in the fridge

Who is the first to apologize?

both are good about it

SEX.

who is on top? Who is on bottom?

hmmm they switch

any kinks?

welllll jules put on her old cheerleading uniform from college as a joke once and farah was into it. theyre both into roleplay

who has the strangest desires?

jules

who’s dominant in bed?

it’s a pretty even split

is head ever in the equation?

yes

if so, who is better at performing it?

probably farah

ever had sex in public?

once. under the bleachers at the football field. pretty cliché

who moans the most?

uhh both

who leaves the most marks?

farah

who is the more experienced of the two?

definitely jules. she had a LOT of fun in college

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

make love. it’s very special for both of them bc they know they’re gonna last

how long do they usually last?

it depends but both of them can usually go pretty long

rough or soft?

typically soft, but rough if theyre in the mood

is protection used?

no

does it ever get boring?

no

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

dont know? maybe in an empty room in the agency? idk lol

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children/or have children?

oh yeah definitely

if so, how many children do they want/have?

juliette loved the look on farahs face the first time they talked about it and she said she wanted ten kids. it was a joke obv but they probably end up having three or four. jules always wanted siblings growing up and she was sad she never got that wish so she doesnt want her own kids to be lonely like she was

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them are huge cuddle bugs and they get cozy almost everywhere

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

juliette

who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

both

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

their cuddles can last a while but farah probably wiggles away first

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

they love girls night out and its even more fun when tina joins them. put the three of them together and its basically nonstop chaos, but so fun

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

predictable, but the bed. jules is one of those extravagant mattress people so her bed is basically a giant pillow and its very comfortable

SLEEPING.

who snores?

both

if both do, who snores the loudest?

jules, and you better believe farah teases her relentlessly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

jules WAS a very picky sleeper until she got together with farah, now she gets pouty if they dont share a bed

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

they cozy up, but juliette is a blanket hog so she usually ends up with most of the covers

what do they wear to bed?

jules usually just wears a top, farah wears pajama sets

are either of them insomniacs?

no

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

not before everything that went down in book one, but since murphy, yeah. jules has a hard time falling asleep now

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

definitely cuddly sleepers

who wakes up with bed hair?

both

who wakes up first?

farah. she’s usually the one to rouse juliette when she’s about to be late

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither of them can cook so... neither lol

what is their favourite sleeping position?

farah loves being the little spoon and jules loves making her feel safe so

do they set an alarm each night?

jules does but she hits snooze at least six times a morning

who has nightmares?

juliette, and farah has no problem soothing her back to sleep when she wakes up

can a television be found in their bedroom?

yes. they’re both obsessed with trashy shows

who has ridiculous dreams?

farah!

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

again, juliette is an unfortunate bed hog

who makes the bed?

farah. juliette is cute but she’s not always that tidy

what time is bed time?

whenever jules feels like it, and farah will follow her lead

any routines/rituals before bed?

other than the typical going to bed things, no

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

farah probably

WORK.

who is the busiest?

both are pretty busy but since juliette has two jobs i guess she is a little bit more

who rakes in the highest income?

juliette probably?

are any of them unemployed?

UB gets paid right? so neither then? lol

who takes the most sick days?

juliette. her “bend the rules” stat is at 88%

what are their jobs?

detective and agent

who sucks up to their boss?

definitely not jules. farah might a LITTLE bit since rebecca is juliette’s mom but i think we know how that turns out lmao

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

despite juliette’s aversion for rule following she’s usually pretty puntcual at least, so im gonna say farah

who stresses the most?

im gonna say neither

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

farah loves hers for the most part, jules feels like hers is more of a chore but she does love interacting with people.

are they financially stable?

yes

HOME.

who does the washing?

farah. once again juliette isnt super messy per se, but she is a bit cluttered

who takes out the trash?

both

who does the ironing?

jules is pretty good about that

who does the cooking?

neither. they both try but they’re both disasters so they order out mostly (more than they should)

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

it’s about equal because again, they’re disasters

who is messier?

juliette

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

farah

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

neither

[redacted] you are not going to miss this question.

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

both

who answers the telephone?

juliette

who mows the lawn?

they dont have a lawn

who does the vacuuming?

probably jules

who does the groceries?

when they remember to do it, they like to go together

who takes the longest to shower?

jules

[redacted] you are not going to miss this question.

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

no but farah does love buying stuff

how many cars do they own?

just one

what’s their song?

it changes but rn lucky by jason mraz fits them so well

do they live in the city or in the country?

juliette LOVES city life and farah thinks it would be fun too so they plan to move to the city one day

do they own their home or do they rent?

rented for now, for juliette anyway

do they enjoy their surroundings?

jules has a nostalgic fondness for wayhaven but again, really she’s itching to live in the city. farah likes it too but it’s a little too mellow for her liking sometimes

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

oh my god, theyre both clingy babies so they’ll be pouty and sad and constantly just text each other

where did they first meet?

juliette’s office

who spends the most money when out shopping?

probably farah

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

jules, but farah will too

any mental issues?

juliette definitely has ptsd after book one, and then its worsened after the trappers (she saved farah so she had to see sanja die)

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

they both do lol

who’s terrified of bugs?

im thinking farah

who kills the spiders around the house?

juliette

do they have any fears for their future?

they’re both afraid of losing each other, mostly. juliette also worries a bit that maybe farah will get sick of her because she’s a “lot,” she was always told by past bfs/gfs that she was a handful or too wild or whatever so she worries she might scare farah off but when she voices that thought farah is very quick to very seriously assure her thats not going to happen

their favourite place?

the bar, also the forest to stargaze or picnic

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

jules, but it’s definitely at a restaurant lol

who pays the bills?

definitely juliette

who’s the tallest?

jules is 5’9, farah is 5′4

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

farah

who wanders around in their underwear?

jules

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

both!! theyre both so goofy about it

what do they tease each other about?

pretty much everything, they’re bantering almost constantly

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

neither of them are exactly fashion experts, so

who crushed first?

juliette

any alcohol or substance related problems?

no, jules enjoys drinking but she knows her limits

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

jules

who swears the most?

both

#this was so much fun! #thank u for the tag #twc #tag games #twc: farah x juliette

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

#lj watches hxh #hxh #woohoo continuation

[oscar-mildes]

elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part 

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy 

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it 

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT  i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

#asks #nev you asked for this #oversharing??? me??? never #lgbt stuff #im gay yall

[beanleaf]

(1) I was seeing a guy I met through tinder bf the quarentine, and we already hooked up. It was a significant connection, honestly. We still text every other day and make plans of meeting again, but he makes it v clear that all he wants from me is sex (although never told me explicitly). I'm very unexperienced and although he already told me he likes me a lot (ik he was sincere), he doesn't want a serious relationship, & I don't feel comfortable with having to limit my feelings.

(2) I wanna show him affection in other ways (like texting him on his bd, send him songs that I think he'd like...) but I don't want no reprocity/ putting my love and time on someone who won't appreciate it/ looking like a loser/ pressure him in any way. Yet I always tend to back up in this situations and never show interest in fear of not receiving it back. Idk whether I should jump into the pool and make the effort or see if he misses me if I disappear for a couple of days.

Sorry for taking a little while to answer this school has been hectic but! I have been thinking of your message.

Ive been in this EXACT scenario. There’s like a lot I want to say but the first thing I’m gonna mention is don’t disappear. No one should disappear to feel missed and loved. The conditions of invisibility will not make you feel as good as you think. I miss people I speak to every day. People are missable even when they exist loudly. Don’t make a place where you don’t exist. This goes into the point of your wanting to show affection. When I entered a relationship as you are saying now I had a false idea that they require no emotion but the truth is you’re allowed to want and need things in any relationship committed or not. If this is just for sex it is still a relationship by definition. Let yourself exist and create a channel for your existence. That is what made me happiest. I didn’t let myself do everything I wanted but as it grew I realized it didn’t matter. The limitations and notions we have are not always correct. If he’s texting you every day it just proves that he doesn’t take the “rules” of hooking up the same way you might. Part of these relationships is finding your boundaries and setting them. When I left the relationship my biggest regret was not saying I miss you and I care about you enough. Letting myself want. I wanna say however that if you’re someone who wants reciprocated feelings this may not be where you find them. He has laid out what he wants which is valid and you should lay out what you would like too. That doesn’t make you a loser for being in a different place. Your human with emotions and needs and if people you know don’t meet those needs then maybe you don’t want them in your life. So what this all is saying really is be honest. Worst case scenario you have a discussion and want different things and you say your farewells. That relationship wasn’t gonna serve you anyway. The risk and reward would be painful and sad if you pretend it is giving you what you need when really you want much more. You met someone and had a connection which is beautiful and real, but thats proof you can connect to people in a deep way which fulfills you enormously. It’s hard I know this it’s very hard. But if a relationship doesn’t allow you to have wants and needs then it forces you out of an existence you deserve. You’re not 2 dimensional. You are in this world to exist consume and at times be consumed. Let yourself have that if it’s what you want and he honest with yourself if that’s what you need.

[96xie]

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

[uncloseted]

i am turning 20 this year and i never really had experiences with boys and i never had a boyfriend and it makes me sad. i was always someone who was like if it happens it happens but i am getting impatient because it just never happens and i honestly feel like a loser. i can‘t talk with my friends about sex or anything because i never had the experience. also i feel really lonely at times and i just kinda long for a bf. i don‘t know what to do anymore to be honest...

I think you’re right that relationships happen when they happen, and there’s not all that much you can do to force the right one to happen. It seems like you just haven’t found the right person yet. And that’s totally okay! That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. So much of finding a partner really is just up to chance. There’s nothing that you can do to bring the perfect person into your life. But there are some things you can do to increase your chances of finding the right person, and I would say maybe those are the things you can focus on now. The more people you meet, the more chances you have to find a person that’s right for you, so get out there as much as you can. There are always dating sites and apps like OKCupid or Bumble that you can try, and that way even if you don’t meet anyone you like you get practice dating and figuring out what you like and don’t like in a potential partner (and have lots of stories to talk about with your friends, which is really the most fun part of dating). If that feels like too much, you can also try joining different groups and classes where there will be new people, or just hanging out in public places where you might be able to strike up a conversation with someone new. Finding the right person isn’t always easy, and that’s okay! It’s also okay if dating and relationships end up not being for you at all.The last thing I’ll say is I think everyone should do things at their own pace, and that it’s more important to find the right person to have these milestones with than to do them within some sort of arbitrary time range. It can feel awkward to be doing things at a different pace as your friends, of course, but I think it’s more important to do things in a way that makes you feel comfortable than it is to do things that other people are doing because other people are doing them. Sometimes people don’t meet the right person until their late teens, twenties, or even fifties, and that’s totally okay because in the end they’ve found the perfect person for them. I would try not to worry too much about it and let your life unfold the way it happens.

[mysticmessheadcanons]

Headcanons for the RFA+Saeran going to MC's family's house but as the day progresses MC's family has some crazy drama like MC's sister slept with the other sister's bf and it turns out her brother cheated on his wife and theres so much drama and MC and the RFA+Saeran are just there like "okay wow um"

Sure haha

YOOSUNG

* you invited him to spend a weekend with your family 

* mostly because your parents wanted to know him 

* and also your sisters were coming too 

* so it was going to be a typical weekend at your house 

* nice food because your parents loved to cook special meals on weekends 

* movie nights 

* and maybe some games 

* it was like that all your life 

* so you were excited to show Yoosung all of this 

* when you two arrived your sisters were already there 

* so he got to meet everyone 

* and being like he is everyone loved him 

* later that day you were helping with the dinner and he was talking with your sisters 

* dinner was ready and the table was being loud as ever 

* everyone talking about different topics 

* your mother talking about her job and your dad about something that he saw on internet 

* your sisters talking about college 

* they were a year apart and went to the same college 

* you were sitting next to him so you two were talking 

* mostly because the rest was a mess and you couldn’t hear the other conversations 

* but all of sudden the table stopped 

* you both looked up and your sisters were about to fight 

* you knew their looks and this was going to be huge 

* they started yelling at each other 

* about stupid things 

* your parents trying to calm them 

* it was impossible 

* you knew those two since they were born and nothing was going to calm them 

* “I MEET HIM FIRST! I TOLD YOU! “ 

* “YOU NEVER SAID HIS NAME!! HOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW! “ 

* Yoosung was in shock 

* they were fight about a boy 

* who apparently was dating them both

* “Mc, should we stop them?” 

* he was whispering because he didn’t wanted to upset them more 

* “no, leave it… I guess it will stop soon” 

* also you wanted to know more about this, it was like a tv drama

ZEN

* he is dead nervous 

* he wants to do a great impression 

* so he wears nice clothes and bought a present for your parents 

* “are you sure this is fine? only wine?” 

* “Zen, calm down. They are going to love it. Did you thanked Jumin for the suggestion?” 

* “yes…” 

* you two made your way to your parents house 

* they greeted you with happy faces 

* of course they were happy to see you 

* and happy to finally meet Zen 

* “Oh dear, she talk about you every time. Don’t worry, if you are like she described you you will be fine” 

* you mother was being nice as always 

* your father was a bit more quiet but he was just keeping an eye on Zen 

* funny enough they were friends by dinner 

* “oh I forgot to mention but your uncle is coming too, he brings the kids” 

* “mom, they are not kids anymore. They are older than me” 

* “oh, yeah… they are still young to me” 

* the food was so good 

* and then your mother offered tea to everyone

* and your dad and uncle started talking about their school days 

* “you remember that girl? the one we both liked?” 

* they started talking about that girl 

* your mother didn’t said a single thing 

* she was kind of pissed 

* and you could swear they were going to fight soon 

* but surprise!

* your cousins were the ones fighting 

* “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT??” 

* “WE WERE DRUNK!” 

* “SHE WAS MY GIRL, DUDE”

* “YOU BROKE UP WITH HER!!!” 

* you looked at Zen 

* his jaw dropped 

* he was not expecting this 

* but to be honest neither you 

* “WE GOT BACK LIKE A WEEK LATER” 

* “IS NOT MY FAULT!” 

* you couldn’t do nothing but stare 

* they were giving a big ass show 

* your uncle tried to stop them 

* but he couldn’t do much

* “WHY DO YOU CARE? SHE’S WITH OTHER GUY NOW”

* “BUT SHE WAS WITH ME, AND YOU HAD SEX WITH HER!!” 

 “IT WAS LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO!”

you looked at Zen and his eyes almost popped out of his face 

he tried to say something but nothing came 

JAEHEE

you two are going to your cousin’s marriage 

she’s very happy that you wanted to go with her 

and of course the ceremony is beautiful 

she tears up a bit 

but now the good part starts

the food and the party 

what can be better 

you are with the most lovely woman eating nice food and about to get drunk 

some people are dancing and you are still in the table 

some of your aunties come to chat a bit 

you haven’t seen them in years 

but they are… a bit intense 

they love to talk about people 

“did you see what she’s wearing?” 

“I can’t believe your cousin’s boyfriend” 

and suddenly they started talking about one of your aunties and how her husband was cheating on her 

you were kind of interested too 

but it was still a bad thing to do 

“I heard that he’s with a girl way younger” 

“and she doesn’t know nothing” 

they were pure evil 

speaking of that poor woman like she wasn’t part of the family 

they were about to say more shit but in a second they both were covered in some red cocktail 

you looked at your back and there was the woman 

“you want to talk shit on my back? huh?” 

Jaehee was about to say something, to calm the situation a bit 

but the women started a little fight 

nothing serious 

but they were saying some shit 

“you are always like this, talking and talking but doesn’t do shit” 

“oh come on, he’s cheating and yet you are here angry at us” 

“at least I had sex, not like you lonely bitch” 

all the attempts of Jaehee trying to calm them failed 

and at this point she was just like “wow…” 

she looked at you trying to find an explanation but you were as speechless as her 

you two did nothing but look until some men came to separate them 

the rest of the night was fun but you will always look different at your aunties 

and Jaehee will always remember how she meet your family 

and how… interesting some of them are

JUMIN 

he is happy to finally meet the family you always tell stories about 

that big and loud family you have 

“you have many siblings” 

“yes, I do” 

he is still impressed on how many siblings you have 

6

he can’t believe how you managed to be with so many people in the same house 

but he sure wants to meet them 

hearing all those stories about them getting in trouble of fun fights with water 

sounds like a family he has to meet 

but is hard to get all of them at the same time 

they all have different lives now 

so he only met your little sister 

but nothing about your other 5 

but somehow your parents managed to bring them all in the same weekend 

“your house must be big” 

“not as your house, but we fit perfectly” 

he is really having a great time 

hearing about you by your older brother’s point of view is something he would treasure for life 

and let’s be honest all your older siblings want to meet him 

you and your little sister were the babies of the house 

so you got the protection fo them all 

you older sister is with her boyfriend as well 

and they seem a bit distant 

but you are more worried about the questions your bothers are making Jumin answer 

“Jumin, you don’t have to listen to them”

“But MC, I want to” 

“haha see kid, he’s a good one” 

you were having the same old conversation with your brother when you heard them

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU” 

“no… is nothing like that” 

“NOTHING LIKE THAT??? ARE YOU SURE BECAUSE HERE IS THE PROOF” 

everyone turned to see what was happening 

your sister screaming at her boyfriend 

he had a piece of cake on his shirt 

and she looked just like that time you broke her favorite skirt when you were younger 

but this was serious 

“ARE YOU GOING TO STAY THERE AND NOT ADMIT IT??” 

“no, please calm down” 

“JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE SEEING OTHER GIRLS AND THATS IT” 

that turned all the alarms 

in a moment he was surrounded by your whole family 

your dad and brothers 

five big boys looking at him like he was the worst of the worst 

and him looking at them like he was begging for his life 

the next minutes are really tense 

nobody says nothing 

and no one moves a muscle 

Jumin switches between your eyes and the scene 

not knowing what to do 

he is a strong man but he doesn’t want to get involve in this 

“should we do… something?” 

“no… you just…. don’t do nothing”

you know how to handle this 

but you are waiting a bit 

just to scare that idiot 

so you don’t move until one of your bothers push him to the ground 

you move fast and step in the middle of them 

“Okay… no need of violence here boys”

you sound like this was a normal thing in your house 

but only happened once in the past 

“you idiot, leave this house and never come close to any of us or you are done. And you boys… just do something else” 

SAEYOUNG 

he loves fights more than he cares to admit 

but as long as they don’t involve him 

is a funny thing to watch 

drama is his thing 

would grab pop corn to see how people fight in front of him 

so when he sees that in the family reunion some of your cousins are having an argument he’s the first person to be there 

sadly he drags you there too 

they are having some sort of fight about this girl 

they both liked her 

but she was more like a player 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? SHE’S MINE” 

“OH THAT IS WHY SHE LET ME KISS HER IN THE PARTY?” 

“YOU ARE AN IDIOT” 

“YOU ARE THE IDIOT, SHE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE YOU”

Saeyoung looks in heaven 

and you are just bored 

somehow they start talking normal again 

but the boy beside you has other plans 

“so you are letting him take your girl?” 

and boom 

they start again 

“Saeyoung!! why?”

“I love this drama, I want to know more” 

they say more and more things 

not nice things 

until one of them punch the other 

they start a real fight now 

all your family is there now trying to stop them 

but it doesn’t seem to work

they are really pissed 

“This is your fault… you stop them” 

“Umm… how? I mean… wow I didn’t thought they were going to….sorry”

SAERAN 

it took him a couple times to feel comfortable at your house 

your parents were always so good with him 

but he was a bit cold at start 

now he’s like their son 

but this time your uncle and auntie are coming 

he doesn’t feel bad at all 

because how bad they can be if they are related to you 

also your parents proved how good they are 

maybe they were the same

and at start it seemed like that 

nice talk 

and funny laughs 

but as the day passed 

things got a bit intense 

your uncle was a bit drunk 

and he was talking no sense 

and suddenly he shouter other girls name 

your auntie of course asked him about it 

but he was like “ahh you don’t need to know” 

“I NEED TO, I AM YOUR WIFE” 

there was no way to stop your auntie 

she was angry 

and he was drunk 

“SHUT UP AND LET ME DRINK” 

“YOU ARE NOT DRINKING MORE, NOW TELL ME” 

Saeran was a bit… shocked 

of course that is something you never expect 

they continued with the screams 

your parents stopped they efforts on trying to stop them 

“IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU DOESN’T LOVE ME” 

“WELL YOU IDIOT IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT THAT IS CHEATING” 

Saeran was getting a bit tense by the situation

so you took him to other room 

“is okay to let them fight?” 

“yeah… they will end soon and leave” 

“oh…that is… sad” 

he was really concerned about them 

and the whole situation made him feel sad too

but your parents entered the room too 

“Maybe we can go eat something outside… they will be like that for a moment” 

your dad had the best idea 

and that made Saeran feel way better

Okay… sorry because 1) the first ones have that… that thing, I write those two in my notes and ended like that and 2) because the last two are really short and bad :( 

#mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mystic messenger hc #mystic messenger headcanon #au #imagine #yoosung #jaehee #zen #jumin #saeyoung #saeran #choi

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

#general oc tag #Anonymous

[thegurlbehindthesmile]

Head Storm.

If i don't take minute to write these things down they just weigh so heavy. where do i begin.

i'm frustrated.

sometimes its like a repeating nightmare. Its me and brian and we are on a 13 hour flight to Germany. this double decker plane is huge and filled with strangers and i cant see their faces. i know our destination is a long way away. im tired. and there we are in the middle row. u next to me and me on the isle. We're sharing your blue ipod with music i never really listen to and this is the moment im stuck in.

for a minute my body goes into drive. at first you think the dream would play out as i remember, but this isnt a memory its a dream and now that im more aware- more awake within the dream; im always asking myself.

why am i here? wheres juan? wheres julian? (thats right this is a dream/ im sleeping)

and i realize im meant to doo something. and i go and look at brian and its not the same. i can barely see his face and i no longer remeber the sound of his voice. its as if im stuck in my seat.

the dream is almost paused- as i struggle to put these pieces of the real memory back together. its like im waiting. im waiting for brian to speak first. im just sitting here. on this plane.

i went to russia in 2005. the trip was from philly airport to germany than germany to russia.

it was for a youth peace team mission. we met up with kids our age over there and talked about religion and life. it wasnt just us two- we had a team of our friends and it was amazing.

It was the first time i had left the country- it was the first time i had flown without my mom. first time i felt homesick. the first time i saw how big the world really is. how there is so much to see and so much going on. it was an experience.

i never knew Demisexual was a thing. (The term 'demisexual' comes from the concept being described as being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. ... The gray-A spectrum usually includes individuals who very rarely experience sexual attraction; they experience it only under specific circumstances.)

i didnt even know what sexual was- i was young naive and anything i did know about sex and beauty most likely came from the wrong place. i managed to get all the way to freshman year of highschool without really relationships that included sexual and non sexual.

freshman year was horrible. i was the new girl becuase i didnt attend the same middle school as the other kids and my prior school was MUCH smaller than the highschool i went to. but i was excited for the change. i asked for the change.

its easy to say "well idk?" when u have lack of experience. Idk why i was single so long. idk why i never wanted a bf. idk why i have never kissed anyone idk? idk? idk? (...now i know) my first thoughts were always like omg maybe noone wanted to kiss me? maybe im the weird one. less desired. not wanted. i was the problem. i imagined my body was less than perfect and i guess my attitude and demenor wasnt the dating type (lies) i just felt weird and alone.

sometimes people cant make a sexual connection unless they have an emotional connection with someone as well. it isnt prude it isnt wierd its just how it works (literally) the better and more i get to know you i can finally start feeling any real connection at all especially sexually.

this new demisexual wasnt even a thing until i was half way through my twenties...THAT and pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.) people would ask "well whats ur type?!" idk id say?? i didnt even realize internally i found both sexs appealing. not even just sexs just ANYone. hearts not parts we say now.

i was basiclly lost ,frustrated and didnt understand a damn thing about myself.

brian and i were friends. we went to the same church- we lived in the same town. our families knew each other. it was a very safe space for me. i didnt think brian liked me. ( i didnt think ANYONE liked me; that way anyway) i had guy friends i had girl friends i just felt like we were all at the same level. most my girl friends had kissed people, most had bfs; same with the guys. i just didnt... it wasnt that i didnt like brian- i just had no idea what any of this stuff was. how to even begin "liking someone" i wasnt stupid - i was scared? i felt scared. worried that becase i hadnt had the experiences - that i wasnt good at ANY of it. i got to know brian because he was around. youth group trips and church events ; school- we were always hanging around each other.

i was never a physical person. honestly self pleasure was the only pleasure i knew and i thought id be going to hell for masturbating so theres that complex. a secret i held tight forever.

i didnt know the more i talked and was around brian i would fall inlove with him. people SAYYY that- but in my world it was a must. it was inevitable. as long as he was open with me and vulnerable- i began to want him.

he was my first kiss. and he let me kiss him. it might of seemed innocent ( i mean it was really) but it was big for me. the only person in the world i had let in. and he was ready to reak havoc on my new world. kisses lead to make outs- making out lead to sex- and that was that. id say i was his or he was mine but i guess we were each others. i wasnt ready to do this with anyone else. i didnt think i even could. it took so long for brian to become this person for me. i was..postive; id make this love last a life time. but that wasnt the case it was a rocky 3 years but at the end of it i personally learned alot.

i still didnt know all that i said above. on my rocky one relationship road... i was frustrated. i didnt know these things existed and while life seemed easy for brian- it was not for me. i struggled and argued with myself resulting in very poor communication with brian leading to only end in sight. if i wasnt making an emotional connection with my person then it had to be the opposite; i wasnt interested at all. almost the opposite- i felt nothing.

i let the hurt find its way in- i let it block any form of fix. the emotions were turned off. and the result was sexless.

i went on a rampage and found a random lover. Peter was ..peter. i didnt know him prior to meeting him- i barely knew much about him at all. all i knew was i was numb and needed to feel again. ( now if only i had known who i was i would of tried to build and talk through these emotions, break some walls down. reopen the lines. reconnect and succeed. but i didnt know that. all i knew was i was hurting and i nolonger had my person- i wanted to feel again.) i wouldnt even say i was attracted to peter. i really wasnt "looking" at all. i wasnt looking with my eyes or my heart.

i was already pretty good at hurting myself just plain jane. but this was a whole different world. what if i could just have sex and not care. just do it and live. just feel something. and i did it. i found peter and yeah we had sex. i was postive i didnt want a relationship ( i was heading down the wrong road in the wrong direction WITH no directions) it was a mess. a mess that didnt last long (thankfully)

i look back at it now and would like to have lunch with peter. although im sure im a spek of nothing in his life stream; he was a pretty big rock in mine. mainly to say sorry. sorry for using him. more sorry that i had no intentions at all. i was a shell of person and im sorry he never got the chance to meet the true me. cuz im not that person at all. and i think he was geniune and we could of learned alot from each other.

i am 30 years old now and still to this day brian and peter are the only people ive slept with except my current husband.

ive trusted 2 (brian and juan) of those souls with my heart. my whole heart. ive been with them to the extent i lost myself. my body has craved them and known them. and they will forever have a piece of me. they took with them what insecurities i had and threw them out the window. i was engulfed and loved and it didnt stop. i had alot of sex with brian as i currently have alot of sex with juan (my husband)

if i had known who i was then i would of talked to more people. resulting in more meaningful connections. resulting in more stories and experiences to tell about. girls guys gays all different kinds of souls i would of touched and danced with. but i didnt know what i know now.

time has given me the learning ive neeeded and now i know alot.

as my nightmare continues its me and brian sitting on a 13 hour plane. i want to ask him how he is, and what hes doing. what other souls hes experienced and what life is like for him now. we would laugh and joke and unerstand that life goes on and although we are not lovers any longer we wouldnt be who we are without having known each other. on this plane its noone but us. reality doesnt hit because its just a distraction and we just want to catch up.

its like a clock is ticking and were anxious. as if he too knows this is a dream, a mear astroprojection into a memory. and noone talks. we both stay silent. its almost like i cant breathe.. its almost like im drowning.

i havent spoken to brian in atleast 10 years possibly. not a single word. across the universe is a soul i once loved wholefully and now were strangers. i think a piece of me hurts still today. like a lost limb. how can i go through life and succeed at only making connections that count when my first connection is fried and dead.

how do i begin to process the things i now understand when one small piece of me is gravitating through space.

i was told not to long ago that you are infact alive. simply living- trying to stay to urself.

as this new person i am. as i am learning and growing. you were a big part of who i was- i wish u could see who ive become. my soul acknowledges your absence and i am aware of it.

i hope love and light find you on ur dark days. and that you follow that light to become whoever you are meant to be.