#maybe someone else can do it better

[hellenhighwater]

Have you taken any pottery classes or were you entirely self taught? I REALLY want to get into it but classes are quite expensive

I took some sculpting in undergrad, but it was in the context of casting and mold-making, not ceramics. So I'm fairly comfortable with clay as a medium but not so much with clay as an end product--not being able to do armatures and having to think about firing is weird. (If I had the opportunity to do bronze casting again, though, I would, no hesitation.) That puts me in the minority of my current pottery peers, who are largely self-taught or only learned in our studio.

I do pottery now at a co-op studio space, and technically that means that I'm taking classes there--but the classes are more like guided lab time? There's not really assignments or anything, and there's only a couple other people who sculpt, none of whom are in my class. Mostly the class just means that the person in charge demonstrates a technique or two once a week and then lets us do our thing.

Personally I think that shared studio space is the absolute best way to go. You spend less in startup costs (kilns are EXPENSIVE, running kilns is expensive, glaze is expensive) and it plugs you directly in to a group of fellow artists who can help and support you at whatever skill level you're at. Yes, classes are expensive--my class is $250 per season. But for me that includes lab space, 50 lbs of clay per season, almost all of the glaze I use, kiln time, and other people doing all the maintenance and kiln loading/unloading etc. Very much money well spent.

Artist-run shared spaces are often not turning a profit on anything with studio fees, just covering operations costs, so while it's pricey, it generally is just...what it costs to do that hobby. And it is sooooo much easier to be motivated when you're going to what is, basically, Grown-Up Art Club.

But if costs are prohibitive for you to do pottery via classes, and you want to learn to sculpt, then get some polymer clay and see what you can do. It's a different game than actual clay, but form is form, and the medium is secondary to figuring out how to translate an idea into reality.

Polymer clay is relatively affordable and doesn't require nearly the infrastructure of ceramics. If you can't spend the money on classes or a shared studio, then polymer clay is a great way to develop technique and an eye so that when you're in a position to spend the money, you already have the skills to make it worth what you're spending.

#most people who have home pottery studios are either in a position to easily afford that #or are selling their work at a caliber to justify the expenses of making the studio space #which is not what will happen when you are starting out. #pottery is far and away my most expensive hobby and that means #that when it's done #the Minotaur series is going to get sold #probably for as much as I think i can get for it #and probably that means I am going to have to Find A Gallery and Submit Work To Gallery and be #in short #in hell. i have not had to think about doing gallery submissions in so long #and i am dreading it. #anyway if anyone knows a gallery in like. michigan or chicago and can hook me up #i have some sad cows that need homes #i kind of want to keep my sad cow mans forever but also where would i even put them? better to be treasured by someone else #and maybe i will make one extra sad cow. for me.

[frownyalfred]

What if, by implanting the codex into Clark, Jor-El accidentally put something else inside of his son? Something Eldritch, or ancient Kryptonian. Something old and instinctual that only comes out of Clark/Kal-El at the right time.

#something to do with Bruce #because I am superbat trash #but also #there’s hardly any mention of the codex in Clark or how he inserted it exactly #or why it had to be that way #I’m so curious #maybe someone else can jump in and explain better #Clark kent #Kal el #superman #man of steel #kryptonian biology #eldritch

[luck-of-the-drawings]

!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]

REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #cw flashing lights #LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!! #RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!! #BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!! #MAYBE SOMEDAY..... #ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww. #i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!! #i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness #LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!! #better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT? #U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!! #im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it #BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS #WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!! #GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY. #OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON #PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!! #ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!! #IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that. #ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I’m the anon that asked about you working during the strike. I really don’t want to ask dumb questions, but even after lots of googling with SAG and Japan, I can’t figure it out. Is there a reason why Japan isn’t part of the SAG??

If I’m missing something this probably sounds dumb but I’m being serious

Hey, good on you for trying to figure things out! I don't think it's dumb to ask questions but just to be absolutely clear:

SAG-AFTRA is an American Union. A union is an organization formed by workers of a certain industry which can then use its combined power to create large-scale events to disrupt workflow of that industry if the employers are forcing them into unfair working conditions or lowball pay.

America and Japan are separate countries, and their industries, although they interact on a global scale, are not the same thing. Although there are global, international unions, SAG-AFTRA is specifically an American organization. So is the WGA (Writer's Guild of America).

I currently

Do not live in the US

Do not work in Screenwriting, acting, etc nor any Hollywood industry

Am not a part of either union, nor indeed am QUALIFIED to be a part of the union

My actual career - what I do for a living - has nothing to do with writing or acting. I work on this comic as a hobby. I'm not legally or financially associated with Cartoon Network of Hollywood or ANYONE in the WGA or SAG. If I stop writing my comics, it will not inconvenience anyone in the Hollywood industry, because.... they don't make money off of me in any way.

The unions organize the strikes with people who are part of the union. They work together to push the industry (mainly the AMPTP) to give the union-members better control of their own Intellectual Property in regards to AI use in the entertainment industry, residual pay from streaming, and etc.

To clarify: I'm not a worker. I'm not a part of this industry. I'm a fanartist. I draw you guys comics..... for free. No company is paying me for this. I survive off of the donations of my Patreon supporters and my IRL job (which is Education).

If that still feels like a lot to take in, try this metaphor:

Asking me if I'm 'scabbing' by continuing to write/draw my comic while WGA is striking is like asking a kid in Japan why they're playing outside while middle schoolers in California are trying to petition for longer recess times.

#chekhov answers #i hope i kind of explained it? #i know it's confusing #maybe someone else can do better

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

I think fans want Jason to be a good person or be becoming one. To have a character that is well meaning and compassionate but decided murder is ok and to stand against main heroes who’s beliefs and actions go against the people he cares about and wants in his life. It’s confusing for people. People want their fav characters to be happy. But Jason can’t have his family’s support and follow his moral code. He’s cares about people and Gotham, and he’s an asshole who kills. It’s messy. It’s not black and white. I don’t even think Jason cares about being a good person or in the right anymore. I think he cares about what will save the most people instead.

Oh my goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled

Batman’s definition of Good is not synonymous with absolute good/right no matter how much dc insists it is. Torture, battery/assault, surveillance, those are all condemnable actions too. I won’t get into the exhausting and frankly dumb debate of comic book morality wrt killing because I’ve already reblogged plenty of posts from other people who explained my thoughts on the matter far better than I ever have the patience to sit down and articulate. I also just think the notion that there’s something to be done about fictional characters who kill nazis and senseless murderers is stupid. Jason’s point is that the “main” heroes’ sanitized definition of right has its unaddressed holes and flaws which ultimately result in more preventable fatalities, and that he’ll work to correct those missing spots.

He doesn’t not care about doing what’s right. What he doesn’t care about (at least during his Winick characterization) is whether Batman thinks he’s right or wrong, because he sees the flaws in Batman’s methodology (and since he has a mind of his own). Batman’s methods alone cannot address Arkham’s revolving door and the rogues that come and go through those doors who have no intention (or capability from the doylist pov) of ever changing or undergoing redemption. Jason knows that he’s minimizing the number of preventable deaths by killing his targets, typically Characters Who Simply Do Fucked Up Shit Just Because, Why The Fuck Not?

Secondly, Jason is compassionate … to a fault. That was his fatal flaw. If he wasn’t so hell-bent on saving his potential birth mother he just met from that bomb despite everything she did to him prior, he could have protected himself instead, however slim his odds of survival were. What about his relationship with his other parents? He was a caregiver during his early childhood years for Catherine, until her death. Even mature adults who are financially stable find being a caregiver to a dying parent to be extremely burdensome on their bodies and minds, but he never complained about it or resented Catherine for being unable to care for him. Despite how none of his parents have really been what he needed them to be, he doesn’t blame them for their failings, and even continues to think highly of them (Bruce included).

And post-death? Enter Lost Days. Despite being dead set on plotting his revenge on Bruce, he constantly sidelines this in order to save other victims who are helpless like he once was. His own anger, trauma, and mission don’t remain his priority. (Sound familiar? Something something my own trauma above my son’s, mission above all else, etc.). Why would he waste precious time and risk his own life to do this if he wasn’t empathetic towards these victims or didn’t care about doing the right thing. He is simultaneously horribly traumatized and full of rage, and also incapable of ignoring what’s happening to victims around him (even as he claims that it’s indeed not his priority). And in that same vein, the entire premise of his rebirth outlaws run was that he doesn’t care if the public views him as a villain, an outlaw, so long as he can protect Gotham. And anyway where is this portrayal of him not caring about being in the right anymore. Almost every modern Jason story is about him grappling with where he stands with Bruce/Batman. During the early 2000s was probably the last time he did not care (hello, tentatodd??).

Jason has very evidently been portrayed as a kind and compassionate character. He is also simultaneously a calculated killer who doesn’t hesitate to kill when he deems necessary, and does so without remorse. It’s called being a Complex Character With An Edge™ that as you said, people so often claim to love. However when he fulfills that latter part, that seems to upset people because “killing bad”, and they then try to shave off and round out all his edges and claim he shouldn’t be that angry. In that case I guess you should just stick to liking traditional one-dimensional characters instead of claiming to like Jason but then encouraging his character assassination attempt by dc. Lol.

Lastly, who said anything about the batfam making Jason happy? Just because he’s written nowadays to want acceptance from Bruce (a shoddy attempt at forcing a non-existent nuclear batfamily), doesn’t mean that it’s a sound decision or that it does his character justice. I certainly don’t empathize with the idea that Jason needs the family’s approval or acceptance to be happy. (And anyway he has enough outlets for angst and pain aside from the batfam hello explore his other sources of trauma and do more deep dives into how he thinks when he’s alone). I don’t want them to magically make up and become one big happy family. This is not disney Lol. Besides, there are plenty of stories from dc that have that type of “wholesome” (hate that word utilization) characterization for Jason (Li’l Gotham, Tiny Titans, wfa, and even new stuff like the brave and the bold mini) and that is sufficient imo. Jason fans who are invested in the character deserve accurate, nuanced characterization and well-written stories, whether they be from his robin days (e.g., Batman: The Cult) or as red hood.

#fellas. ya know what else is wholesome? avenging your own death #you can have moments of ‘reconciliation’ or peace but still maintain a strained relationship which is far more realistic #‘he’s an asshole that kills’ and Bruce is an asshole who doesn’t kill. lol. #you can’t claim Jason’s conflicted and disturbed but go on to say Bruce is perfectly sane those two are mutually exclusive #also please realize that a character acting out of anger does not mean they lack compassion. #implying that he doesn’t care about doing the right thing is saying the same thing that person said; #that he doesn’t actually know what he’s doing. that he hasn’t thought through his moral stance. #‘Jason didn’t put any thought into anything he did in utrh he’s just a poor mentally ill lost soul who needs the batfam’s love to heal 💔’ #🤝 #‘jokers just a poor victim of society 😔 he just needs someone to understand him and maybe one day he’ll heal and realize he’s wrong’ #what they both have in common is that they’re misunderstood in opposite directions #the joker doesn’t have a point to prove. there’s no deeper meaning behind what he does. everything is a joke to him. #he isn’t unaware of right vs wrong lmfao #jason todd #dc #asks #my post #and I think you’re implying that he’s utilitarian based on that last part but I don’t think he is #user mintacle posted a few metas regarding that and again they explain it much better than I prob could #anyway it isn’t difficult to understand his character if you know why you like him and you actually read his stories #that post specifically was from someone who clearly said they did not read the comic so. technically they’re on their own wavelength #edit: grammar

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

#apologies for the way I write sometimes I like to put out total garble because it makes my heart go thumpa thump #god I love them I LOVE THEM #THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER ON A LEVEL BEYOND THAT OF FLESH AND BLOOD AND IT HURTS KNOWING THEY DO #THAT THEY BOTH SUFFER AND THEY FEEL THAT IT'S BEST TO BE ALONE RATHER THAN BRING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RIDE #BUT THAT RIDE BRINGS THEM BOTH TO THE SAME DESTINATION THAT THEY ARE BOTH BROKEN MEN HAUNTED BY THINGS THEY DID—THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE #BUT MAYBE THERE'S HOPE IN HAVING SOMEONE TO LIVE FOR—SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE STRUGGLE OF REDEMPTION DESPITE ONE'S NATURE #TO LIFT EACH OTHER FROM THE DEPTHS OF SELF LOATHING BECAUSE THEY CAN DO BETTER #then I'm tranquilized and shoved back into my cage for relocation #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #my hcs

[andthebeanstalk]

Betty is so relatable I would do the same shit for my wife

#simon petrikov #original #at #the moment where she declares that she's jumping into the future to save him. just pure save-husband impulse #and maybe she made the wrong choice but I felt the emotion in my gut and that's good tragedy baby #I would do the same thing and then be in the future and realize I probably fucked up but also what else could I do but #devote my entire life and sanity to saving her after I have destroyed every other option?? #it's not healthy necessarily but a fucking apocalypse happened and her wife is in eternal torment. what else could she possibly do?? #I'm just obsessed with the attitude she has towards saving him and how it turns from joyful heroism to unhealthy obsession #I have a much healthier relationship with my wife. but also she's never been driven mad by a magical crowd for a thousand years! #and Betty did it!! y'all can argue about whether Ice King was better than Simon and I think he must make peace with every part of himself #but it is extremely consistent in the original series that being Ice King is basically this existentially horrifying Eternal torture #so the fact that someone who loved him decided they would save him from that at all costs is very sad and very beautiful #beautiful because no one deserves to suffer forever. tragic because she was far to willing to take his place if she had to. #betty grof #fionna and cake #golbetty #golb #*driven mad by a magical crown #you forgot your floaties #edit: upon rewatching every episode with betty in it i will say i don't think i would be so hellbent on murdering the person she had become #betty does act selfishly and it makes her character more compelling #but i like to think if my wife went banana-pants ice-king-level bonkers i would be able to love that version of her too #but who's to say whether this story would be the reason I responded differently? #it's a good story

[variksel]

i know i talk a LOT about glenn and nick respectively and together on here but goddamnit i just relistened to the episode where they glenn meets nicholas after prison and i cant get how tragic it is out of my head. spending almost twenty years in prison to protect your son from harm, from having to most likely face being orphaned. spending all that time trying to escape with only him in your mind because he is all you have left after your wife died years ago and when you finally meet him again he looks at you with disgust and the son you once loved so much is effectively dead and buried. hes got a new dad who you KNOW, factually and objectively because it was ordered by a court, did a better job raising him than you did with your son. you did try but eventually you ended up repeating the patterns your own parents left in your life and thats not good enough. your son ends up in an objectively better position without you, without needing you anymore despite everything you did for him, and you can do nothing but accept all of that

"glenns not stupid, he knows morgans death affected nick. he doesnt want him to have to go through it again" and (ron): "your son.. sucks now" (glenn, grabbing him from the collar): "you say that shit to me one more time." and "this is the first time ive seen- [the sunlight]"

#can you tell who my favourite dad is. can you #UGH ITS JUST LIKE. ITS SO FICKIGN GOOD #it makes me scream genuinely im so giddy about it in aGSHVSHEBSKFKDJDK #wont tolerate no glenn hatred here btw genuinely i love that man with my entire heart! #he was the worst dad but like LMAODJSKD #no but fr #IMAGINE. losing your wife in a car crash #and struggling to raise your son alone now #for years #thinking (hoping) that youre doing a good job #only to find out you were not only a bad parent and someone else ended up raising your boy better #AND for that guy to also not have lost his (your?) wife #youd be thinking what did you do so wrong #youd be thinking maybe her death too wouldve been avoidable #and then you just have to. live with that. #MAN #dndads #dungeons and daddies #glenn close #nick close #nicky freeman #nick foster #jodie foster #henry oak #darryl wilson #ron stampler #dungeons and daddies spoilers #dndads odyssey

[navree]

i love that it wasn’t obi wan who swooped in and saved luke and defeated reva, but that it was reva��s own decision, that even if obi wan had never realized anything was going on, she still would have brought luke back to owen and beru, she still would have spared him, she still would have realized that killing luke wouldn’t have done anything, that she needed to be more than what vader was. 

reva’s turn away from the dark side, away from grief and hopelessness and hate and rage wasn’t foisted upon her because she was bested in battle, or because someone else got her to see the light. she made that choice, on her own, and for herself. luke is alive because of reva, and only reva, because of the decision that she made in that moment, and no one else had any bearing on it. it wasn’t obi wan’s ingenuity or prowess or abilities that saved luke, it was just reva. just reva and her mercy, and her deliberate choice. it’s absolutely wonderful.

#personal #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi spoilers #reva #reva sevander #i love that messaging i really do #that yes you can always ask for help and there will be people there to give it #the way obi wan does after she gives luke back #but that ultimately the choice to be a good person and to try and heal from your trauma is your own #no one else can make that choice for you and no one should #it's for you to decide and you alone #i wonder if this had an impact on luke #beyond just his nature and how he is as a person maybe he does remember that time someone showed him mercy so young #and he's force sensitive so he had to have felt the conflict in her in that moment #does he remember that conflict when the tough choices are presented to him #that to choose light. choose good. choose the better path even if it's harder. even if it ears you apart #is an active choice #i love this show man

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry #when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister #but so easy literally everywhere else #I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person #I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents. #even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home #but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now #Lu rambles #can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn #bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister #bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me #the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW #that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone #so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to? #and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!! #ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so... #jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader. #because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly. #and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up. #it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out. #the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed. #but thats how it goes with any art piece i think #the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it #they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider. #is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad? #is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day? #that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own. #but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it. #it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person. #i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down. #puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world. #and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session #it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet #no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic. #(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol) #& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much #i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast. #even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it. #I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me. #i... really do love my fic y'all

[sneakyboymerlin]

Begging you all to watch the show without the m•rthur lens, because all sense of who these characters even are has been lost here.

#bbc merlin #merlin meta #tag meta #my meta #fandom critical #arthur critical #woobify much? #you will all just see whatever you wanna see huh. even if it is this disturbing. even if it is this dehumanizing. and all of it romanticized #also arthur doesn’t trust too much. or else maybe he’d legalize magic 🤪 his trust clearly doesn’t extend to the people he’s oppressing #arthur’s problem is nepotism! his problem is that he always trusts what is most comfortable for him to believe! #and most of the time he only looks as far as he is affected on a personal level! #he cares if someone /shows/ him the effects but it’s as gwen says… he shouldn’t need someone to hold his hand through being a decent person. #he’s not a child. and as prince he is supposed to have an even greater responsibility in this area. #anyways arthur has absolutely disagreed with people he trusts and stood his ground when he thinks it’s right. he has a mind of his own. #if he believed that his actions were truly wrong then he simply wouldn’t do them. we have seen this in action. #and this isn’t even touching on the merlin side of things. merlin did not cause arthur’s death. #you can scream it all you want but arthur’s bigotry is his alone. he chooses to lean into it again and again. arthur always has a choice. #it’s not that merlin didn’t ‘do enough’ to ‘fix’ him. wiping clean any accountability for arthur and putting it all on merlin’s shoulders #simply because merlin is one of those oppressed people and so ‘knows better’ (arthur already knows that magic isn’t inherently harmful- #-he chooses to believe that it corrupts people because it’s an easier guilt-free explanation) #…blaming merlin for arthur’s preference towards anti-magic sentiment is sick. arthur and merlin are their own individual people. #merlin is loyal to arthur because he sees his potential for the goodness that will unite albion and give his people a future. #arthur is his only hope. he’s battling tooth and nail with all these prophecies. ffs. #you cannot understand this series or these characters or their relationship dynamics in any way that matters #without first recognizing them as individuals and as people. people with different values motives approaches etc. #also the fact merlin is arthur’s servant and ‘happy’ to deal with his classism is inextricable from this #tw eye sore #tw hypnosis #tw unreality #tw delusion bait

[sundial-girl]

WHATS WITH RIN AND LEN BEING INVOLVED WITH STEAMROLLERS

IS THIS AN INSIDE JOKE IN THE COMMUNITY THAT I DONT KNOW ABOUT

ITS A REALLY OLD THING THAT GOES W/ THEM, FROM YEARS BACK LMAO. dont quote me on all of this cause i dont remember exactly its been a while but iirc:

so early vocaloid fandom internet memes led to most of the popular character + item associations that we see today (miku and spring onions/leeks, kaito and ice cream, etc), basically trying to assign some sort of 'signature item' to every new vocaloid release (this was like 2007-2011 for timeframe reference). these sorta became 'item wars' b/c there was the push to get some of these fandom-assigned to be officially recognized (and some of them were, as you can see merch now for example featuring kaito & his ice cream item)

i don't remember why a road roller was specifically tied to rin & len? i think it had to do w/ videos featuring them and. road rollers (possibly on niconicodouga) that went viral around their original release. this was before the orange & banana association both of them have more commonly now i think (that which i do know the reason for: rin's is orange b/c her bow looks like orange leaves and len's banana b/c his hair kinda[?] looks like a bunch of bananas), and there were these lil figures released for them:

however though i'm p sure the road roller as their item became replaced w/ the orange & banana that were more favored (easier to draw lmao?? and fit more w/ the food theme that a lot of the other items had).

anyways the item war trend/meme kinda died out around 2018 and nowadays you don't really see people talking abt it. but yeah tldr; roadrollers & these two used to be a big meme thing but not anymore

#ask #vocaloid #SORRY IF THAT STILL DOESNT CLEAR ANYTHING UP??? im still not sure why of all things a road roller was picked for them #the only thing i can guess is maybe something like. b/c that happened around the time of their release people were already expecting these #two were gonna crush their competition (other vocas released prior to 2007) so. make that literal w/ a roadroller. or b/c its yellow idk?? #im not an official vocaloid historian this is just shit i vaguely remember so yeah. dont take my word official 100% on it #if someone else remembers better and would like to provide insight feel free to do so ahkhsjghkg

[thisloev]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[sskk-manifesto]

Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

#And Kouyou!!!! #Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀 #King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen” #I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years– #but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like #“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the– #protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb #But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you. #Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime. #I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?” #I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green. #Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to– #engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color– #that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white. #What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws– #because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil” #Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before– #and will probably keep happening? #I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk. #This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about– #how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive– #their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment #I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes– #that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize. #Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol #random rambles #This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late