#maybe she’ll come back and we won’t spend a day apart and I’ll ask her out

[bwabys-scenarios]

Reunited

Part 35

Illumi x Reader x Feitan(+Kurapika)

part 34

Routes to take

warning: SMUT, FINALLY!! pussy eating, talks of breeding, bj, creampie, Kurapika is sweet and takes care of you!! Also yes she’ll be fucking Fei AND illumi in the future so no complaining!!!

taglist: @tsukilover11 @mercyboluthecrazychicken @sxyriii @shidoni-san @living4tomrua @lemonslut @honeylunalove @sugarrushdaydream @canthebest1 @whorermoviestar @fabitheraven @ashdownunderscorebeloved @astresoleil @ranzxki @smuttysammie22 @yandere-enthusiast @lostsomewhereinthegarden @sketchy-owl @bekahtaylorgriggs @zanzie @dabisimp21

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(Name) walked up the stairs to Kurapika’s room, Leorio staring at her wide eyed when she walked through the door.

“Oh wow. You look, um…”

“You look stunning…”

Kurapika was sitting up in bed, a tray containing the soup (Name) had made on his lap.

The girl blushed, placing her purse on the table before pulling off the long white gloves a feitan had given her. “Oh, um, thank you. Sorry I was gone for so long.”

Kurapika shook his head, his eyes moving from her chest to her exposed thigh. “Don’t apologize, I heard you’ve been by my side day and night since you were told about my condition.”

(Name) took over feeding Kurapika, blowing on each spoonful before offering it to him.

“You’re an amazing cook, I’m already feeling much better.”

He did look a little better, able to sit up by himself without falling over, but (Name) still pouted.

“You’re not thinking of getting up anytime soon, are you?”

Kurapika chuckled. “Well, I was planning on leaving tomorrow with my boss, but…”

He placed a hand on her cheek. “I promised I would take you on a date, right?”

She nodded, leaning into his touch, kissing his palm.

“Ew, get a room you two!” Leorio yelled, making gagging sounds.

“Don’t worry, I plan to.”

Both Leorio and (Name)’s jaws dropped at that statement.

A few hours passed, Kurapika eventually able to walk upstairs to talk with Gon about his nen training. As he did, she got a phone call from Feitan.

“(Name), got you something. Heard about Greed Island?”

She tilted her head, leaning against the outside wall of the motel. “Yeah, I have.”

“Got you copy. Leaving it in your apartment along with console. Phinks wrote a note explaining how to find us once you’re in game.”

(Name) pouted. “So you’re going into the game?”

“Yes. For own reasons. Hope… hope I’ll see you there.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I might be a few days late, but I’ll come. I heard it’s dangerous though.”

“Don’t worry, we protect you. Always.”

She felt her heart skip a beat, clutching the fabric of her shirt. “Alright… I’m in. I have to go now, please be safe Fei. I love you.”

Feitan gripped his phone tighter, glancing at Phinks before responding.

“… see you then.”

(Name) giggled to herself when he hung up. ‘God he’s so cute. Maybe I’ll be nice and kiss him when I see him again.’

——————

(Name) watched over Kurapika’s recovery another day before she sat down next to him with an offer.

“Would… would you like to come stay at my condo? It’ll be a lot more comfortable there.”

His eyes widened and his cheeks turned pink. She was offering for him to stay with her.

Alone.

“Oh… that does sound nice. You sure it won’t be a bother?”

(Name) shook her head quickly. “Not at all!”

She left to call a taxi for the two, waving as she walked down the stairs. He couldn’t help but sigh, brushing back his hair and smiling.

Leorio plopped down onto the couch in front of Kurapika. “Wow, she’s inviting you over to her place, huh? You know what that means.”

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. “What are you implying, Leorio?”

He snickered. “You might just get lucky. I’ve seen the way you two have been looking at each other. I’m surprised you haven’t pounced on her yet.”

Kurapika huffed. “I would never ‘pounce’ on her. I love (Name), if she never wanted to have… make…”

He blushed trying to get the words out. “If she never wanted to go any further than kissing that would be fine with me. It’s not about… that.”

Leorio waved his hand dismissively, giving the poor flustered blonde a break. “Yeah, yeah. I’m just saying she’s been giving you some pretty strong signals. Try and… be gentle with her alright?”

Kurapika groaned. “Please shut up.”

(Name) arrived back a moment later, smiling at Kurapika and Leorio. “They’ll be here in 15 minutes.”

While they waited, Kurapika packed his meager belongings, butterflies in his stomach. He was excited to spend more time with (Name). Even being near her was enough to make him blush, the thought of potentially sleeping in the same bed with her, even without sex, made his head spin.

“Kurapika, he’s here!”

He ran down the stairs and climbed into the cab, sliding in next to (Name). Kurapika was still tired, but he had nearly recovered. Another day and he’d be good as new.

“When we get to my condo, I’ll start on some dinner. There’s a TV and some books you can read if you get bored!”

He leaned his head against her shoulder, glad he was tired so she wouldn’t question. Not like she would anyways, but Kurapika didn’t know that.

“I don’t think I could ever be bored when you’re around.”

(Name) giggled at this, the sound making Kurapika smile. He’d forgotten how much he loved to hear her laugh.

They arrived at (Name)’s condo, the girl carrying Kurapika’s bag for him. When he attempted to protest, she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Noope, you’re not feeling well! I’ll be taking care of you, Mister!”

He couldn’t argue with her, especially when she was being this cute. “Alright, but when I’m better I get to carry you around as much as I want.”

“Deal.”

She set him up on the couch, unpacking his bag and throwing the machine washable clothes he had into the wash. Kurapika relaxed on the couch with a cup of tea, watching some random cartoon movie she put on.

“I hope you don’t mind baked chicken for dinner.”

He smiled and sipped his tea. “That sounds lovely, angel.”

She still wasn’t used to that nickname, her legs rubbing together slightly. He didn’t miss this small motion, his eyes lingering on her bare thighs before he looked away.

‘Can’t get too excited. Not until I’m sure she wants me.’

———————

After dinner Kurapika took a shower. She left a freshly washed pair of his pajamas on the bathroom counter for him along with a fluffy towel.

He walked out of the shower with his hair still wet. Kurapika shyly sat down on the floor in front of her.

“Oh, do you want me to dry it again?”

He nodded. “Yes, I’ve wanted that since you did it last.”

She began drying it. “Really? I don’t mind doing it at all, you know. Honestly, I enjoy spending time with you.”

He was glad she couldn’t see just how red his cheeks had gotten when she said that. “I hope… we can spend a lot of time together.”

He relaxed under her gentle touch, leaning back against her knees. (Name) giggled and kissed the top of his head, causing him to look up in surprise, and her to place a kiss on his lips.

Kurapika’s eyes widened a bit before he sighed into the kiss, reaching his hand up to caress her cheek. When he pulled away his eyes were half lidded, staring up at her.

“You’re so affectionate lately. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it, but…”

He crossed his legs. “It makes me want more.”

She looked away from him and tried not to blush, but he could tell she was flustered. “Oh…”

She continued to dry his hair, humming the Kurtan lullaby he taught her months ago. It felt nice to receive all of her attention for once, with no one else to get in the way.

“It’s dry, now. I’ll get changed, you can get into bed.”

Kurapika blinked. “Into bed? Is this not your room?”

(Name) smiled at him, standing up and walking over to the bathroom. “Yes, it is. Would you rather sleep on the couch?”

He shook his head, plopping himself down onto her bed. “… much more comfortable here.”

She snickered and closed the bathroom door behind her.

Kurapika waited on the bed, glancing from the bathroom door, to his lap, to the bathroom door again until it opened.

She walked out in a short nightgown, rubbing at her eyes sleepily. “So, we going on that date tomorrow?”

When he looked closer he noticed just HOW short that nightgown was when she turned around to close the door behind her. It barely covered her entire ass, revealing the smallest hint of her panties at the hem of her dress.

Kurapika decided to look away before the urge to pull her dress up and panties down overwhelmed him.

She climbed into bed, seemingly unaware of her affect on him. (Name) pulled the cover up to her chin and looked at him, giggling.

“Earth to Kurapika. Are we going on that date tomorrow?”

He blinked, shaking his head to clear away his dirty thoughts.

“Oh, um… yes. You said you’d like to go to a cat cafe, yes? Melody said there’s a popular one near here. We can walk over for lunch.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

(Name) snuggled closer to him, the man’s breath hitching in his throat when she wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, don’t be shy. You can touch me if you’d like.”

Kurapika’s brain short circuited. His hands moved to hover around her hips for a moment before finally finding their place around her waist.

“You’re always so warm…” he said softly. Kurapika couldn’t help but nuzzle his face against her neck, causing the girl to gasp.

“Careful, I’m… a little sensitive there.”

He stopped for a moment, glancing at her from the corner of his eye before nipping at her neck gently.

“Eep!”

He felt her grip on him tighten, now feeling her leg wrap around his waist to pull him closer. Kurapika blinked. She was staring at him with wide, surprised eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-“

She gave him a kiss to silence him. “Shh, it’s alright. You just surprised me is all.”

(Name) kissed across his jaw and to his neck. He was beginning to breathe heavy with all of this affection. Kurapika gasped when her tongue lapped at his skin, immediately moving his hands to grab her ass.

“Woah!”

(Name) giggled against his skin, causing him to whimper. Every little touch was sending him over the edge, the hardness between his legs making it obvious how much he wanted her.

He’d been having absolutely filthy thoughts about this woman for months, and now she was in bed next to him, kissing HIM!

Before she could even think, Kurapika hand was slipping from her waist to her panties, his fingers rubbing at her slit through the thin material.

(Name) hadn’t been expecting this, the woman letting out a yelp. “K-Kurapika!”

He could feel her grow wet through her panties. “Yes, angel?”

He applied more pressure, causing her to bury her face in his chest.

‘Cute…’

Soon enough he wasn’t satisfied with just rubbing her through her panties. Kurapika repositioned them so she was on her back and he was lying with his head between her legs.

(Name) blinked before she realized what had happened. Even in his weakened state, he’d flipped her over and gotten between her legs faster than she could think.

“I want you.”

He hooked his fingers under the waistband of her panties, staring up at her for approval. Kurapika waited patiently, knowing how scary it must be to have a man between her legs, possibly for the first time.

(Name) sighed softly. “Go ahead…”

She seemed a little hesitant, but there was excitement and lust lacing her voice. He pulled them down quickly, his breath hitching in his throat at the sight of her bare pussy.

(Name) immediately shut her legs out of instinct, gasping at the cold air fanning over her.

Kurapika seemed transfixed by her, his hands prying her thighs apart easily. She whimpered, a bit embarrassed for him to be looking at such an intimate area with those hungry eyes.

“God, you’re beautiful… better than I could have ever imagined.”

He propped himself up between her legs, getting comfortable. He planned on staying there a while, after all. “May I… have a taste?”

(Name) covered her face, unable to look him in the eye, but gave a nod of approval.

Kurapika would have liked for her to watch him enjoy his meal, but knew how flustered she must be. ‘It’s adorable, really.’

He kissed her thigh, nipping at her skin. “My angel. I’ve wanted this for so long, you know. It’s been hard to resist, ever since we first kissed.”

He kissed his way down until his lips met her inner thigh. “I’m going to start now, okay?”

“Okay…”

He lapped at her folds, causing her to grip the sheets. Kurapika couldn’t help but chuckle against her. “Are you sensitive here?”

He gently pulled her hips closer to his head, finally diving in. She gasped out, trying to steady herself by holding onto the bedsheets.

He seemed to notice het struggling, and pulled her hand towards his hair. “Hold on, angel.”

His tongue prodded at her clit, causing her to pull his hair and moan. He could feel her thighs squeeze him gently, almost cumming in his pants. Kurapika had imagined this exact scenario so many times, and now he was loving it.

Kurapika held onto her thighs as he gently sucked on her clit, his fingers making their way to her core. He slipped one of his fingers in, causing her to buck her hips into his face.

“Hnnn!”

He looked up to her, raising an eyebrow. “You’ll need to stay still, angel. It’ll be hard for me to make you feel good if you’re moving too much.”

“B-but it feels so good…”

The whine in her voice made his cock twitch. Kurapika took a deep breath before pulling her hips back into place and keeping a good grip on them to keep her from moving.

“I know, I know. Just be good for me, okay?”

She nodded, looking down at him with tears in her eyes.

“Okay…”

With that, he went back to eating her out, adding another finger. When she moved her hips to buck again, he kept her in place with his strong grip.

‘Hmm, she’s really tight. I’ll need to stretch her out on my fingers…’

“Ahh, t-too much!”

Kurapika gasped when she pulled at his hair more intensely, beginning to lose herself in pleasure.

“Getting close, huh?”

He moved his fingers in a scissoring motion, humming against her clit.

“‘P-pika…”

His eyes widened slightly. Was that some sort of nickname, or was she so close to her orgasm she was having trouble speaking? Either way, he liked it.

“Yes?”

She panted slightly, peeking down at him. “I’m… I’m…”

He paused his motions, smiling. “You’re what?”

She gasped, wiggling her hips. “D-don’t stop! Gonna cum!”

His breath hitched, the blonde immediately continued to finger her, faster this time.

He only slowed down when he felt her walls tighten around his fingers. She gasped and whines as she came, bucking her hips into his face.

This time he let her ride out her orgasm, continuing his assault on her clit until she finally calmed down.

As he heard her sigh, he began climbing on top of her, positioning his hips in between her legs. He wiped her juices from his chin, licking his fingers.

“I didn’t think anything than could taste sweeter than your lips…”

He kissed her cheek, his hands reaching down to his pants.

Before he began to unbutton his pants to chase his own high, he glanced down at her.

She was looking up at him with eyes she was barely able to keep open. He remembered how sleepy she had been even before they’d gotten into bed, knowing she’d had been staying up late to watch over him the past few days.

“Mmm, Kurapika? You gonna…” she yawned, rubbing her eyes. “You gonna continue?”

He pushed back his hair and gave her a smile. He positioned the two so they were laying on their sides, pulling her into his chest.

“Kurapika? Do you want me to…”

She trailed her hand down his chest, stopping right above the waistband to his pants. He grabbed her hand and dragged it back up to his lips, kissing each of her fingertips.

“No, it’s alright. You’re tired. We have to wake up early, remember?”

She pouted at him, nuzzling into his chest. “But… you made me feel so good, it’s not fair…”

He chuckled. “Making you feel good makes me happier than you’d think. That’s enough for me.”

Kurapika hissed when she pulled him closer with her leg. “Okay… goodnight…”

She was pressing up against him, falling asleep soon after. Kurapika sighed, pressing a sweet kiss to her lips before pulling away a bit to deal with the ache between his legs.

He ended up cumming all over her bare pussy, feeling a bit embarrassed about it. ‘Oh well, I’m sure she won’t mind.’

Kurapika felt weirdly uneasy over the fact his cum was on her, not IN her. He collected some of his cum on his finger, glancing up at her sleeping face before slipping it into her cunt.

‘There, that’s better.’

———————

“Kurapikaaa, wake up!”

The blondes eyes opened slowly, drinking in the sight before him.

(Name) was sitting on the bed next to him, wearing only a towel around herself. She must of just taken a shower.

“You can go ahead and take one. I was going to ask if you wanted to take a shower with me, but you wouldn’t wake up.”

She giggled when he turned red. “Shower with you? Damn it…”

He seemed disappointed he hadn’t woken up, a pout forming on his face.

“How about to make up for it, I give you a little peek?”

She toyed with her towel, giving him a teasing smile. He turned away quickly, waving his hand.

“Let’s… let’s wait until after the cafe. If I see you now, I won’t be able to control myself…”

It was her turn to be flustered now, the girl giggling. “Really? I didn’t know I had that much of an effect on you…”

She hid her face in her hands before leaving to get dressed in the bathroom.

‘She’s too cute. I need to claim her, before someone else does…’

He waited for her to get dressed, picking out his outfit for the day. When she walked out, he sighed dreamily.

“How’s this? It’s a little cold today.”

She was wearing a pair of jeans with a (fav color) cardigan and scarf. He reached out and fixed her scarf, smiling. “You’re adorable. The prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

She stared up at him with her jaw dropped, before running away. “You’re going to over heat me, I can only blush so much!”

He chuckled. “Sorry, angel. It’s hard to not compliment you when you’re finally here with me. I want to really… soak in our time together.”

Kurapika closed the bathroom door behind him and took a quick shower. (Name) dried his hair for him again, the man humming the lullaby along with her this time. He hadn’t felt this loved, this content in years. He hoped that if this was a dream, he’d never wake up.

They walked hand in hand down the street, occasionally stopping so (Name) could take a picture of them. His heart almost stopped when she made one of them her home-screen picture.

“Oh, there it is! They sell boba too!”

They entered the cafe, (Name) nearly jumping out of her boots in excitement. He couldn’t help but laugh at how happy she was. “I have cats, ya know? And I miss them so much. I can’t wait to hold one!”

Kurapika kissed the top of her head, the girl calming down enough to look up at him. “It’s our turn, angel.”

She followed him in, gasping. There were cats everywhere, in little cat trees, running across the floor, sitting on tables. (Name) pointed, starting to tear up. “Kurapika please help me pick which one to pet first, or I’ll get too overwhelmed.”

He crouched down and picked up a small orange kitten, holding it out to her. “How about this one?”

The kitten mewled in his arms, trying to escape. She picked it up and scratched under its chin, instantly calming it.

‘They say animals are drawn to pure individuals.’

He watched as various cats began to walk up to her, sniffing her legs before clinging up into her lap. She had to sit down so they could all be held by her.

“You sure are popular!”

He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of (Name), the girl nearly completely covered in cats.

“This is the happiest day of my life.”

Kurapika smiled as she kissed the top of each cats head, cooing gently to the small creatures. “Kurapika this is the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“Angel, we’ve only been here for 10 minutes.” he said with a laugh.

“I know, my point still stands.”

The cats didn’t seem to pay much attention to Kurapika, following (Name) around as she played with and fed them treats. He swore his camera role might fill up entirely just with pictures of her.

Kurapika couldn’t help it though, especially when she looked so cute.

“Times up! Thank you for coming!”

The owner of the cafe walked into the room, giving them an apologetic smile. Kurapika had to help the owner pull the cats off of (Name) while she attempted to leave.

“Bye kitties, I’ll miss you!”

She pouted a bit as Kurapika led her away, a boba he ordered for her in his other hand. “We can come back later, if you want.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Why don’t you pick what we should do next?”

He blinked, sipping from her boba. “Hmm… honestly, I would prefer to just cuddle with you at home. Maybe grab some takeout?”

She nodded slowly, clinging to his arm. “You sure?”

He stopped and cupped her cheek, the girl flinching slightly from the coldness of his palm. “Of course. You being in my arms is all I want right now.”

“Kurapika… you’re just the sweetest.”

She kissed his palm, before holding it tightly. “If your hands were cold, you could have told me.”

She continued following behind him, now holding onto his hand tightly.

He couldn’t describe how he felt in that moment, happy would be an understatement. She made him feel whole, like he’d finally found the missing piece to the puzzle of his life.

And he wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

———————

They grabbed some lunch before arriving home. She pulled off her pants and ran to her room to slip into a pair of shorts to be more comfortable.

He blinked and stared the entire time, surprised she was this at ease around him to get half naked. ‘I know I saw her… exposed lower half last night, but seeing her in her underwear…”

He stared down at the tent rising in his pants. He quickly jumped on the couch and pulled a blanket over his form.

“Okay, I’m ready!”

(Name) turned on a random movie before climbing onto the couch and sitting next to him. She rested her hand against his thigh, smiling to herself when he tensed under her touch.

“Pikaa~”

He jumped a bit at the way she’d said his name. “… yes?”

She ran a finger up and down his thigh, giving him a pretty smile. “Can I… touch you?”

His entire face turned beet red, his eyes going wide. “T-touch me? Where?”

Kurapika could already tell what her answer would be by the way she glanced down to the tent forming in his pants. “Weren’t we supposed to be cuddling?”

She tilted her head. “Well if you just want to cuddle that’s-“

“No, no. I… I would like if you…”

He stuttered, obviously flustered. He’d never been touched by another person, and he’d been wanting her for months now.

“Hmm…”

She toyed with his tabard, looking up at him with those pretty (e/c) eyes. “Wanna go to the bedroom?”

He nodded a bit too earnestly, causing her to giggle. “Come, follow me.”

She led him by the hand to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. She sat him on the end after pulling his tabard off, leaving him only in his white underclothes.

She sat down on the floor in front of him, leaning her chin against his knee. “Could you take off your shirt for me, Pika?”

His heart began to thump against his chest painfully as he pulled his shirt off, exposing his pale chest. She tutted softly when she spotted new scars littering his skin. “You should really be more careful, you’re gonna end up really hurt…”

She scooted until she was between his legs and kissed a scar on his tummy. He whimpered, feeling her breasts rest against the bulge in his pants.

“You’re really cute, you know?”

He could only blush, his breath hitching in his throat when her palm rested on his bulge. She rubbed gently, looking up at him. “Want me to take your pants off?”

“P-please…”

She giggled and pulled the waistband of his pants down, blinking as his cock sprang forward and nearly smacked her in the face.

“Oh, wow…”

Kurapika couldn’t look, covering his eyes. He was super embarrassed to expose how much he wanted her.

“Kurapika, your cock is so pretty!”

He gasped at her foul language. “(Name)! That’s… that’s so dirty.”

“Really?”

She blew on his head, causing his cock to twitch. “H-hey!”

He opened his eyes to see her hand reaching out to touch him. He watched as her fingers wrapped along his length, the man neatly cumming instantly from her touch alone.

“H-hnnn… (Name)…”

She began stroking slowly, seemingly mesmerized by the way it twitched in her hand. “You know, I’ve never done anything like this before, so I’m sorry if I’m not that good. I’ll try to make you feel good though, okay?”

He panted softly, staring down at her with lust filled eyes. The way she looked at his cock with those big curious eyes both turned him on, and amused him.

“W-well I’m glad I could be the first one you… touch like this.”

(Name) leaned forward a bit, glancing up at him. “Oh, are you not a virgin too?”

His face turned even more red, if that was possible. “M-me? No, I am.”

She rubbed her legs together a bit, biting her lip. “Could have fooled me. You made me cum hard yesterday, better than I can do for myself.”

This filled him with a certain sense of pride, his cock twitching in her hand again. She took this as a chance to stick her tongue out and lick the tip lightly.

“(N-Name)!!!”

He gasped out, precum leaking from his tip. She giggled. ‘He really is a cutie.’

“Yes, Pika?”

He covered his mouth, his eyes burning a pretty shade of red. “P-please… do that again.”

She smiled. “Of course, sweetheart.”

He sighed dreamily when she leaned forward and took him into her mouth. She looked absolutely adorable as she bobbed her head slowly, pushing some of her hair out of her face.

Even doing something so lewd, she was still gentle and occasionally rubbed his thigh soothingly, glancing up to make sure he was enjoying himself.

After a bit she pulled back, letting his cock fall from her lips with a soft ‘pop!’. She smiled up at him, continuing to stroke him softly.

(Name) planted a sweet kiss on the tip, causing him to reach out and push her head back a little.

“No more, don’t wanna finish yet…”

She blinked and tilted her head. “Hmm? Do you wanna…”

He nodded, gesturing for her to stand up. She did, Kurapika holding onto her hips and pulling her in for a heated kiss.

He pulled away and stared at her with those scarlet eyes, a string saliva connecting they tongues.

“My perfect angel. I’m going to take your virginity today, okay?”

This made her face heat up. “… okay.”

Kurapika pulled her shirt over her head, pausing for a moment when he noticed she hadn’t worn a bra.

He hadn’t seen her breasts yet, and they certainly were an… eyeful…

“Mmm…”

He groped her chest, his hand squishing and squeezing them, a bit too rough. “H-hey, be gentle!”

She grabbed his hands and pouted at him. He looked up apologetically. “Sorry, I just got a little excited.”

He relaxed his grip, letting his thumbs run over her nipples gently. She sighed contentedly. “That’s better…”

His hands left her breasts, moving to her shorts to pull them down, exposing a pair of white panties with little scarlet hearts covering them. “Did you wear these for me?”

“Maybe!”

He pulled them down as well, looking her up and down. Now completely exposed, she felt the need to cover herself, but he grabbed her arms before she could.

“You’re beautiful, (Name). Don’t hide away from me.”

His fingers traced the stretch marks on her hips, before pulling her onto the bed with him.

She squeaked as he pinned her down, his face hovering over hers.

“Pika… you’ll be gentle right?”

She rubbed her legs together, glancing up at him with anxious eyes. (Name) was scared, yet aroused.

“Angel…”

He caressed her cheek, planting kisses all over her face. “Of course. If at any time you want me to stop, I will.”

He positioned himself between her hips, lining up with her cunt.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded slowly, pulling him closer so he’d kiss her as he slid in.

He pushed gently against her cunt, cooing in her ear when she whined in pain. “Shh, I know. We’re almost there, okay?”

He peppered kisses down her neck, his breath hitching as he pushed in further.

God, he wanted to thrust into her more than anything, pound into her until she was a mess, but he kept calm.

“Pika, it hurts…”

She whimpered, a few tears pooling in her eyes. He kissed them away, before finally bottoming out.

She immediately wrapped her legs around his hips, desperate for his comfort. He held onto her, rubbing soothing circles into her thighs.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here…”

It took a few minutes for her to get adjusted to his size. He was about six inches, but girthy, and the stretch was a bit painful.

“P-pika?”

He swallowed, staring down at where they were connected. She could feel his cock twitch inside her. “Yes?”

“… you can… you can move now.”

He glanced back up to see her biting her lip, her hips moving ever so slightly against him.

He didn’t need her to say it twice. He slowly pulled his hips back, hissing at the feeling of her walls gripping him so tightly.

“Hnnn, angel…”

He pushed back in, (Name) bouncing slightly from the force. “Eep!”

He moved in and out at a slow, steady pace. This was a new experience for him too, the man panting from the effort of holding himself back.

He moved faster, holding onto her hips as he thrusted in and out, leaning down to lock his lips with hers.

“So so tight, angel. Wanna be inside you for forever…”

Her sweet, well spoken Kurapika was coming undone, moving to her neck to nip and bite, the girl squeaking out. “P-Pika!”

She mewled when his fingers moved to rub at her clit. “G-gonna… gonna cum, Pika…”

He continued his work on her neck, his possessive side taking over. “Mine, all mine. Gonna make you all mine okay?”

She wasn’t able to argue when he was beginning to pound into her, rubbing at her clit. “It’s okay angel, you can cum…”

He could feel her walls flutter around him when she came, her arms shooting out to pull him closer. “Kurapika!”

He barely kept himself from cumming, his tongue pushing itself into her mouth to silence her whines and whimpers.

“Mmph…”

(Name) gasped when she felt Kurapika push her legs up to her chest and continue to pound into her through her orgasm. ‘Need to… need to get her… get her pregnant…’

He had done a bit of research before on what positions would be best for getting a woman pregnant, and this position was called the mating press. It should work, right?

“Pika, ah!”

The way he was looking down at her as he sank into her cunt could make her blush all on its own. Those pretty scarlet eyes on her face, his mouth open in a pant.

“Shh shh, it’s okay. Just…”

His movements became harsher, more rough as he let loose a little. It was easier to move now that she came around him, providing natural lubricant.

But he paused when he heard (Name) whine, this time with tears in her eyes.

“G-gentle, please… you promised…”

He paused for a moment, before nodding. “Sorry, angel. You’re right, I’ll go slower, okay?”

She nodded, a cute pout on her lips. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to them before continuing.

He could tell, even when he held back that he would still be leaving bruises on her soft skin. It was to be expected, Kurapika was incredibly strong, and even at his calmest he still sometimes crushed objects in his hands by accident.

“Being so patient with me, angel. I’ll make it up to you, promise.”

He bottomed out inside her, before pulling out completely and slamming back in.

“Hnnn…”

She was being fucked stupid, seeings stars. The Kurtan could only coo into her ear.

“My good girl, taking me so well…”

He kissed away the tears from the corners of her eyes as he pounded her pussy. Although Kurapika knew he could go on for hours and wanted to fill her up with several loads of cum, he knew she wouldn’t be able to take that her first time.

He could feel himself getting close, that familiar coil in his stomach tightening. “Gonna cum inside, okay? That alright, angel?”

“P-please fill me up, Pika…”

This ignited something inside of him, his movements becoming animalistic as he nails dug into her thighs. He couldn’t hear her anymore, chasing his own high as he came.

“F-fuck, angel! Hahh…”

He rode out his orgasm, moving down to capture her lips in another heated and sloppy kiss.

She whined into the kiss, the feeling of his hot cum filling her up making her hold onto him tighter.

He continued to thrust in and out of her a little longer, looking down at her pretty eyes as he came down from his high.

He stayed inside her, smiling giddily. “That was amazing…”

She could only nod, her fingers still running through his hair. He kept her plugged up with his cock for a little longer, not wanting anything to leak out.

“Pika?”

He smiled, the nickname making him feel soft and warm. “Yes?”

She pouted up at him. “What are you gonna do if I get pregnant?”

His breath hitched, (Name) gasping when his cock twitched inside her. “I would… I would take care of you, of course. We would get married and I’d buy you a house, along with anything you’d ever want.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay… but I want one more thing.”

“Anything.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, kissing his cheeks. “If you get me pregnant, I want you to give up on getting revenge. You can still look for your clan’s eyes, but… but no more putting yourself into danger like you did the past few days.”

He thought for a moment before nodding slowly. “Okay, if that’s what it takes, then I agree. I would not want to leave you and my child alone.”

She sighed in relief. “Okay… now that’s settled…”

She pointed to where their hips met. “Pull out, I wanna cuddle.”

———————

The two fell asleep soon after, entangled in each others arms. If they hadn’t both been so tired, Kurapika would have doted on her like a princess. He would have liked to have propped her hips up on a pillow to ensure none of his cum leaked out, but that would have been too obvious.

When they woke up the next morning, (Name) could only groan.

“Sorry, angel.”

He felt pretty bad for leaving her so sore and bruised, kissing the hickies and bites he’d left all over her neck.

Kurapika had automatically began tending to her wounds, cleaning the scratches he’d left on her hips when his nails had dipped into her skin.

He was a little glad that she struggled to walk, though, because that meant he got to pick her up and carry her around.

“I’ll start a bath for you, alright? It’ll help relax your sore muscles.”

He really was sweet, caring for her so tenderly. (Name) waited, naked on the edge of the bed for him. He walked back in, carrying her to the bathroom and setting her in the bath.

“I’d climb in with you, but it’s too small.”

She giggled at his pouty face, kissing his cheeks. “When I can stand, we can take a shower together. Would that make you feel any better?”

“… a little.”

When he said he’d make it up to her for being a bit too rough, he hadn’t been lying. The rest of the day, Kurapika carried her around, giving her all the kisses and cuddles she wanted.

He only left to grab takeout and some of her favorite ice cream. It was only fair, and Kurapika loved doting on her.

“Pretty…” he muttered into her hair as they cuddled on the couch. She smelled nice, his scent mixing with hers. Having her in his arms made everything seem okay.

That was until he got a phone call.

“Sorry, I gotta take this, angel.”

He walked out of the condo, (Name) waiting patiently for him to return.

When he did, he seemed a bit irritated, plopping back onto the couch with a sigh.

“Something wrong, Pika?”

“Well…”

He pulled her into his lap, kissing her shoulder. “My boss wants me back on duty within the next few days. I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

He felt her disappointment, squeezing her lightly. “I know, I wanted to stay longer too.”

He kissed the hickies and bite marks he left on her neck and shoulders, sighing. “But… duty calls. I should be finished with this job in a few months or so. Then..”

He caressed her cheek. “I’d like to see you again.”

(Name) pouted. “A few months? That’s foreverrrr!”

He chuckled. “Are you going to miss me that much, (Name)?”

“Of course.”

He was surprised at how quickly she answered, her eyebrows furrowed. It was obvious how seriously she took his feelings for her, and he appreciated her for that.

“I’ll miss you too. So much…”

He rested his head against her chest. “Have you thought over everything? Would you… like to be mine?”

She kissed the top of his head. “I need more time, Pika. It’s a big commitment.”

He nodded slowly, holding onto her so tight she was gently smacking his arm for him to loosen his grip. “Sorry, you’re just so soft, I love squeezing you.”

(Name) snickered, pinching his cheek. “Uh huh. You just wanted to put your face in my boobs, didn’t you?”

“Guilty.”

They laughed.

—————————

(Name) waved as Kurapika boarded his flight, blowing him kisses. He chuckled and caught them, pressing them to his lips.

“Be careful, Pika! Remember, I could be pregnant!”

Leorio sighed next to her. “Maybe that’s not something you should yell out in a crowded airport.”

She laughed. “Oh, oops.”

He rolled his eyes and walked her back to their cab, snickering to himself. “So are you two together now? He uh… he could of gotten you pregnant apparently?”

She sighed. “Not together, I still have some things to think over. And… I kind of have a few other guys in my life.”

“Wow, aren’t you popular.”

Leorio could understand why, not only was she gorgeous, but he’d never met someone more kind.

“Are you going back to med school?”

He nodded. “Yeah. What are your plans?”

“Well, I have a few more days at my condo, then…”

She looked out the window, smiling.

“I’ll be going to greed island.”

#reunited illumi x reader x feitan(+kurapika) #reunited illumi x reader x feitan #reunited illumi x reader #x reader #anime x reader #headcanon #requests open #reader insert #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #smut requests #hxh illumi #illumi x reader #feitan x reader #hunter x hunter feitan #illumi hunter x hunter #hxh kurapika #kurapika x reader #kurapika smut #hunter x hunter kurapika #kurapika hunter x hunter #hxh smut #chubby!reader #anime x chubby reader #chubby reader #female reader #fem reader #x reader smut #kurapika #leorio

[raphinaloveschaos]

The City Is Poisoned

(Victor Zsasz x Fem!Cobblepot!Reader)

Click the title to go to the masterlist.

Chapter One

It's no news to anyone that Gotham isn't the safest place in the world, far from it. Anyway, I've felt that things have become heavier than normal in the city, more tense.

Maybe it's the recent deaths of Thomas and Martha Wayne. Maybe it's the way my brother Oswald comes home exasperated every night after spending the day working for Fish Mooney, who is a true lady, but has already made it clear that she is an important part of the city's underworld.

Oswald was always a good brother, always close. Despite his physical condition, he always tried to protect me from anything bad that could happen to me and we both take care of our mother. He was always here to have fun and support me.

It was his sudden change and the way he distanced himself that made me realize that something weird was happening at his workplace and consequently, in our city.

At first I thought Oswald was just a helper, until he disappeared and a man and a woman appeared in our apartment. Detectives.

Clearly impatient with any praise my mother had to pay for Oswald, as she stood up to pick up a portrait of him, the detectives whispered to each other something that I couldn't hear from the window where I was leaning, but my mother seemed to hear a buzz.

“What are you…” she tried to ask what it was

“Um…nothing, Mrs. Cobblepot…-” The man interrupts, taking the portrait of my brother that she offered him.

“Kapelput.” My mother corrected the last name and I couldn't hold back the smile.

“Mrs. Kapelput… Do you know anyone who might want to do to your son a harm?”

Upon hearing the detective's question, I move away from the window and walk behind the sofa, facing his partner. My brother is in danger.

“No, I would feel it. A mother feels these things… It's a woman. Some painted slut has him in her clutch.” My mother says and although she is right, that woman and my brother were not involved in the way she thinks. Oswald didn't tell her that he works for Fish Mooney.

“A woman…You think?” The female detective asked.

“I'm sure… So handsome he is, so naive.” The detectives seemed to know that he's not so naive, like I know.

My mother looks at them. “Who are you again?”

***

When my brother returned, covered in bruises and limping more than usual, my worry and curiosity had already taken over me.

“Oswald, if you don’t tell me what the hell happened to you, I’ll tell mom and she’ll beat your ass!”

Not even my failed attempt at humor seemed to shake my brother out of the wave of stress he was in and I watched as he paced back and forth across the room, but I knew that the condition he had would soon cause him to have to lean on something or sit.

“C’mon, Ozzy! You used to tell me everything. What's going on?”

As I walked toward him he stopped moving and looked at the ground, at me and then at the window behind me, but his mind was somewhere other than the aging, gray buildings.

“I’ll get revenge and I won’t involve you in it. Neither you nor mom.”

His gaze seemed darker than usual, as if he had seen or done something he shouldn't have. It scared me, but I tried not to let it show. He was doing what he could to protect us.

My mind raced. Who is he talking about? Is it Mooney? If it is, how would he get her in any way, she's too powerful, too dangerous

“Ozzy, just… promise you'll be safe.”

I wouldn't try to change his mind, it never worked and with the way things are right now it wouldn't end well. I'd rather have him around with family and doing what he had to do than away. Our mother would die without him close. We both know that.

I walked closer to him and took his hand in mine, looking into his eyes. Even though we're seven years apart, we're almost the same height. He squeezes my hand affectionately.

“You're my big bro. I'll always be there for you.”

He gives me a reassuring smile. “I know.”

“Now, get something to eat. There's half of a pizza in the oven. I’ll go get mom from Mrs. Cameron’s.” I open the door and leave him behind to go to the neighbor, who was an old friend of our mother.

***

Ever since it happened, I haven't been able to get out of my head whatever my brother meant by “I'll get revenge.” Thousands of possibilities circulated my mind and I knew that nothing good would come of this whole situation.

To Mom, Oswald may be an innocent angel, but I've heard enough of his angry and sometimes even psychotic rants to know that he's capable of a lot. I love him, but I know he is not innocent.

I just hope I go to sleep and when I wake up I'm not curious enough to try to find out what really happened. Or what will happen.

A/N.: it's short but it's only the begining, so stay tuned! Love y'all!

#victor zsasz x reader #fanfics #gotham tv #gotham fanfiction #gotham villains #edward nygma x reader #jerome valeska x reader #oswald cobblepot x reader

[hischierdevils]

I was thinking that maybe a cute lil blurb for the forget series would be Nico taking care of all 3 of the boys by himself and calling Jack or maybe Dougie to help him out! And y/n comes home to find all her boys passed out on the bed together lol or something. I feel like having 3 boys is so overwhelming!!

“I pumped earlier so everything is in the freezer when Cam’s hungry. Ben needs his ear drops again at noon and Al-“

“Babe.” Nico takes the blanket you were folding out of your hands. “I can take care of the boys, I am their Dad you know.”

“I know.” You give your husband a nervous smile. The season just ended and this is the first time Nico will be alone with the boys since Cam was born two months ago. “but…”

“But nothing.” Nico says as there’s a knock at the door. “You deserve a day to yourself. We will be okay.”

“I get!!” Alex runs toward the door, opening it before you or Nico can stop him.

“Hey little man.” Dougie grins down at your oldest.

“Dougie!” Ben, who’s been laying on the couch with an ear infection for the last two days, jumps up and runs to Dougie.

You glance at your husband. “You called for back up already?”

“Jack was busy.” He shrugs.

“I’m here too!” Abby smiles as she walks into your apartment behind Dougie. “Where’s my hugs?” Alex and Ben run to her, each giving her a quick hug before running back to Dougie.

“Say bye to mommy, boys.” Nico tells the two oldest as he bends down to take Cam out of his swing.

“You can’t go mommy!” Ben runs to you and hugs your leg tightly. The boys are usually all about their dad until they’re sick, then they want you.

Your lip wobbles as you make eye contact with Nico and he shakes his head. “Ben, mommy needs to go with Abby. She’ll be back later.”

Alex gives you a hug and then pulls his brother away from you. “Bye mommy.”

“Bye buddy be good for Daddy and Dougie.” You give Nico a quick kiss and then kiss Cam’s cheek before heading to the door with Abby.

The two of you spend the day in New York City, talking and shopping like you used to when you both lived in Manhattan. It’s a nice day for you to get out of the house and get to be y/n again. A day out with your best friend is exactly what you needed to feel normal again.

Even though you had a good time, you’re excited to get home and see your boys. It’s suspiciously quiet when you walk in and only Dougie sits on your couch.

“Where are they?” You ask him as you set all of your bags down by the door.

Dougie grins as he gets up and meets you. “Nico laid them all down for a nap about half an hour ago and I haven’t seen him since.” He chuckles.

You smile. “Thank you for helping him.”

“Of course.” Dougie bends down to kiss your cheek. “I love the little guys. I’ll see you guys later.”

You wave goodbye to him as he leaves and then you make your way to Alex and Ben’s shared bedroom. Nico moved Cam’s bassinet in the room and the baby is sleeping soundly inside. Nico is sprawled out on his back in Alex’s twin bed with Alex and Ben tucked under each arm.

They’re all snoring lightly and you can’t help but laugh at how similar all four of them look as they sleep. You gently give each one of them a kiss and Nico stirs softly as you pull away from them.

“Hey, baby. Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah.” You giggle. “Did they tire you out?”

“I don’t know how you do this everyday.” He groans as Alex stretches, kicking Nico in the rib.

“I think it’s time to start looking for houses, Ni.” You tell him as you look around the small room with two twin beds in it. Cam has been sleeping in his bassinet in your room but he won’t be little forever. “We need more room for the kids.”

“For more kids?” He winks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Enjoy your nap, Hisch.” You wave to him as you back out of the room. “You’re stuck there until they wake up.”

#forget series #nico hischier blurb #blurb #my writing

[moonstruckloverwritings]

Can you please do something with Yandre! Peter Parker and a reader who just fully accepts it? I reader your general headcanons and loved like the sweet side of things lol. Like she thinks she’ll hate it but she hasn’t got to do anything and can research stuff she’s interested in (like History), and then Peter comes home and she just gets love and someone cares for her. idk, hopefully my message is put across well lol. Thank you!

Yandere! Peter Parker With Accepting Reader

Hopefully this is adequate for what you requested. I hope you like it. Also, I just wanna explain that I imagine this to be the Peter Parker who’s living in his own apartment at the end of the last movie. 🕷♥️

Ooo I love this idea. But you’re right he would be really sweet. I think the only times a yandere tendency would come into play with him is when you were in potential danger of harm by someone else, in potential danger of being taken by someone else, and when he’s had a bad day and just wants to indulge in you.

I see that last one happening a lot with the work he does. But I’ll come back to that later and just go in chronological order; by events.

When he first takes you and you begin to heavily hesitate, he understands. He’s not a delusional yandere. He would know this is a big change for you that you had to get adjusted to and he’d do whatever you want to make that more comfortable. (Except for going back home that’s out of the question)

He would definitely try talking to you about things first. Your worries about the situation, things to make the transition easier, rules, punishments with an emphasis on how he’d never physically hurt you though because he never wants to see you upset.

“Well we can go over everything to maybe ease your mind.”

“Um.. not right now but if I know I can trust you then later you might can talk to your friends and things.”

“I’m sorry.. I don’t want to make this miserable for you. Is there anything I can get you that you like that’ll make it easier to be in here? You like history facts? Ok, I’ll pay for the history channel and get some books for you. What kind of history do you like? Heh, there’s a lot of it”

“well I do have some basic rules that I have to go over with you but again, they won’t be permanent if I know I can trust you.”

He would get a part time job to fund everything he needed for you. You ask and you shall receive!

After the tension has settled down between you two and you become more open to the idea. He would slowly introduce new aspects. He’ll come home showing you his new Lego set and asked what you found out about history that day. Spending general time together makes him, well, giddy.

He would think about introducing physical touch but was still weary of how you would react. He knew you were probably still adjusting but.. he just wanted to hold you.

“Hey uh.. can-can I hug you? If not I understand I just..I want to.”

If you said no, he’d totally respect it and wait til you guys felt a bit closer to ask again. But if you said yes, prepare for cuddles!

Remember when I said he’d want to indulge in you after a bad day? This is where that comes into play. I 100% can imagine him coming in with cuts and bruises and those puppy eyes just wanting to cuddle. He’d deny any treatment you’d offer at first. He’d just want to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle his head into your neck or even lap. Very golden retriever, this guy.

“I’ll get the first aid kit in a minute, I just… can I lay with you for a little while.. please?” 🥺

He would cook breakfast for you before he left, have a mini fridge with drinks and snacks for when he’s gone, and would come home to make dinner for you. He didn’t know much about cooking before, he learned to cook just because of you.

He’d clean the room as well and would ask you didn’t do anything too strenuous. Leave it up to him. That’s what he wants. He wants to take care of you any way you’d let him. If you one day asked him to comb your hair, he’d almost jump with glee then calm down enough so he can be incredibly gentle when combing. He did not want to tug on it or hurt you so it would take him a while and he’d go really slow. If you asked him to hand feed you, he’d love to and make sure to blow on each bite before feeding it to you. He’d get a little anxious not knowing if what he was doing was good enough though. If he was combing your hair and there was even the slightest tug, he’d gasp and ask if he hurt you. Or if he was feeding you and you grimaced or your facial expression faltered, he would turn into: 🥺 that emoji with the puppy eyes and ask if it was too hot, cold, or if you didn’t like it. So, in other words, he’s extremely, if not overboard in his attentiveness.

But it’s all for you and because he loves you. He just wants the best for you!

After your relationship developed and he could completely trust you, he’d allow you more freedoms. He’d at first allow you to text one, just one, of your family members of your choice just to take it slow for now. He will also be watching over your shoulder. He’d gradually allow more freedoms with who you spoke to. He’d then allow you to go out into town with him once your family knows you’re okay and that, “you just needed time alone.” Although you had to by with him every time you went out in town but he would buy you absolutely anything you wanted. One of the big freedoms he’s kind of scared to give you is to see your parents again because of course, he’d have to be there and that means he’d be meeting your family. What if they don’t like him? What if they try to take you away from him? He would express these feelings to you and ask what you thought as you knew your parents and what they’d accept in their daughters partner.

Also, quick note. He acts very much in the dating phase but in his head he thinks (knows) that marriage and kids are going to happen with you guys at some point. Like it is just natural information in his mind. So while he’s easing you both into more scenarios/freedoms/situations, he already sees you as his wife. He always had. He is committed to you and nobody but you.

Hopefully everything went well with your family and friends and they all got along with Peter. Otherwise you might “need to take a break” again. Contact via cell phone would still be open with them, but no way in hell were they going to separate you both. Unless you can convince them to think otherwise.

He just wants to be with you. Nothing is going to change that from happening. As long as your friends and family accept that, you’re life will be lived happily ever after.

#headcanon #spotify #x reader #x y/n #x you #yande.re #yancore #yandere #marvel mcu #marvel #mcu #mcu fanfiction #fanfic #peter parker x reader #peter parker #willingness #accepted #reader insert #self insert #obsessiveness #protective #posessive

[alwritey-aphrodite]

A Cat Named Bee

Chapter 8 of You Are In Love

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: modern!Poe Dameron x reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: can you tell I like when cats do that nuzzling thing?

It seems strange to you how strange normal life feels. You always expect to hear your friends busy in the kitchen when you wake up, to see them first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Only after a week living together, it seems odd to be apart.

Although, you really aren’t apart all that often. You and Rose work the same shifts at Maz’s more often than not, and Finn, Poe, and Rey come in at least once a week. The five of you always get together on Fridays, whether that’s at someone’s apartment, The Resistance, or somewhere else altogether.

And, you’re always texting each other throughout the week, so not a day goes by that you don’t talk to them at least once. But it really isn’t the same as being around them all the time. You’d been worried that they’d get sick of you, but you all seem to feel the same way: the more time you spend together, the more you want to be together.

You just keep finding more and more things to love about your friends. Sure, they have some negative qualities, all people do, but all in all they’re the best people you’ve ever met, and you’re thankful for them every day.

Even when Rose springs it on you that she’ll be gone for an entire week, off to visit with her family out of state.

So, not only will you have to brave all of your shifts alone, you won’t get to see her or Rey for an entire week. You can’t even remember a time when you weren’t spending at least five hours of your day with Rose.

But you know how excited she is to see her family in person after so long, and how excited she is to bring Rey home. You can’t help but smile whenever she talks about it.

You promise, or threaten, to send her updates every hour, and she responds by saying she’ll block your number. Knowing her, she’d do it. So instead, you just tell her to have fun and tell you all about it when she comes home.

The morning shifts go by so much slower without Rose to keep you company, even when Finn and Poe stop in to talk during your slow times.

“Just the three of us, huh?” Poe says, leaning his elbows onto the counter while you finish making their drinks. You ignore the wink Finn sends to you.

“You should stop by The Resistance later, annoy us while we work as much as we annoy you,” Finn adds, taking his to-go cup from you after placing a generous tip into the jar.

“Maybe I’ll make an appearance,” you reply with a shrug of your shoulders, as if it’s probable that you’d have any conflicting plans.

“We’ll see you later!” Poe shouts on his way out the door, letting you tend to the customers who arrived during the mid-morning rush while he and Finn were distracting you.

You spend your afternoon lazing around your apartment, staring at half-finished paintings with a brush in your hand before giving up and settling on the couch with a book, hoping that you’ll magically receive infinite inspiration.

When that doesn’t happen, you make yourself dinner and send Finn and Poe a text, confirming that you’ll be at The Resistance later. When they text you back, they try to upstage each other on the number of exclamation points they can send. You just watch the messages light up your phone screen with a smile on your face.

A few hours later, when you arrive at The Resistance, you find yourself a spot near the corner of the bar, and settle in for the night.

“Usual?” Finn asks as he slides over to you, your drink already half made.

“What if I said no?” You ask, with a nod of your head to the drink he's already placed in front of you.

“I would have given it to a customer who appreciates me,” he responds, ignoring your eye roll and heading off to tend to more of the customers leaning against the bar.

You don’t see Poe until a little while later, but you don’t miss the way his eyes light up when he spots you after stepping out of the back office to help Finn behind the bar.

“Look who finally showed up,” he says in greeting as he steps behind the bar, working on refilling your empty glass.

“I got here on time, you should pay more attention,” you quip back, accepting your drink with a smile of thanks.

You spend most of the night by yourself, with Finn and Poe coming up to chat whenever they have some down time. It’s not until they’re practically closing that the three of you have a whole conversation, interrupted only by their shouts of goodbye to the customers heading home.

Once they’re all done cleaning up, you slip off your barstool and make your way towards the door, only to be stopped by both Finn and Poe.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Finn asks incredulously, pausing in his wiping of the bar top.

“Home?” You reply, but your confusion makes it seem like a question instead of a statement.

“Alone? Are you walking?” This time it’s Poe, organizing the space behind the bar that descended into chaos throughout the night.

“I was going to Uber.”

“By yourself? At one in the morning? No fucking way, Poe’ll drive you.”

You know they’re looking out for you, but you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Guys-“

“No arguing, Finn can finish up,” Poe already has his keys out and is shrugging on his coat, truly giving you no room to argue.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you buckle yourself in and Poe starts the car.

“It’s no problem, really,” he moves his hand off the gearshift, gently squeezing yours where it rests on your knee, and your body is full of sparks, “if you ever need anything, I’m always here.”

He says it with that signature smile that melts your insides to goo, so you only nod, even though he can’t see you. The rest of the ride is silent, in a comfortable way, only the gentle hum of the radio filling the car.

It’s over much too soon, and you linger a little too long outside of your building.

“Thanks again,” you say, leaning through the car door you’re still holding open, drawing out this interaction as much as possible.

“Like I said, not a problem.”

You’re turning and about to shut the door when you hear him clear his throat, so you turn back around and Poe looks like he’s about to say something. You raise an eyebrow in question, silently urging him on.

“Wanna get dinner tomorrow? Finn’s busy and it’s a Friday and that’s when we all do something together but everyone else is busy, so I thought-“

“That’s great,” you’re trying to play it cool, but you can feel your grin splitting your face apart, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

With that, you finally shut the door, and hope that he can’t see you silently celebrating as you walk up to your apartment.

Little do you know, he’s doing the same thing in his car.

As it turns out, the only thing Finn was busy doing was playing matchmaker. When you call him the next morning and ask what his plans are for the evening, you hear him chuckle to himself and immediately know he’s set this all up.

“You’re awful, did you know that?” You say through a smile, only making him laugh harder.

“You know you love me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Let me know how everything goes.” He’s barely containing his laughter, he’s just so proud of himself.

“I’m never speaking to you again.” That makes him cackle through your phone speakers, and you hang up without another word, not yet deciding if you’re going to be upset at Finn for setting you up.

You spend the day as an anxious mess, and nothing works to distract you. To try painting, reading, watching TV, taking a nap, and no matter what you do, you always end up thinking about Poe and overthinking what it’s going to be like to spend the entire evening together.

It’s not like you think he’s going to be rude or anything, you’re worried if you’re going to be able to control yourself and not let loose all the feelings you’ve been containing for months now. You’re practically a bundle of nerves the entire time you’re getting ready, and during the walk to Poe’s apartment, and by the time you’re knocking on his door, you’re sure you’re going to pass out.

You manage to stay upright when Poe opens the door, a broad smile on his face and a towel thrown over his shoulder. There’s a smear of flour across his nose that makes you fight the urge to gently wipe it away, and have your hand linger on his cheek.

“C’mon in!” Poe steps back, letting you enter into his space, “I tried to clean it up, but it’s still a bit cluttered. And dinner is almost done.”

You toe off your shoes before stepping deeper into his apartment, taking in all of his decor and furnishings.

“Wow, a chef and a bartender, what can’t you do?”

“Juggle.”

You snort, and it’s an ugly sound, but Poe breaks out in a grin while you shake your head at his joke, and you’d make that noise a hundred times if it means you can see that expression light up his face.

He goes back to cooking, frantically stirring at something simmering on the stove, while you take a peek at his kitchen and living room, looking through the items he has on his bookshelves and end table, the pictures he has framed and hanging on the walls.

There are pictures of him with Finn in front of jets, looking baby faced and bright eyed. There are pictures with him, Rey, and Rose, laughing around a table with a board game set up. There’s a picture of the five of you from your lake trip, and you can’t help the smile that grows on your face.

He had pictures with a man who you assume is his father, with the same nose and dark brown eyes, spanning from his childhood to what looks like a few months ago, in front of a large tree. He has older, weathered photos, with a smiling woman with curly hair and a curly haired baby on her lap. There’s a photo with him and an older woman, a different woman, with her grey hair in an elaborate braid.

You want to ask, want to sit and listen to him rememinse on every moment from the pictures, but you’re not sure how he’d react. The last thing you want is for the two of you to start growing close, only for you to ruin it by prying into his past.

While you have your dilemma, an orange and white cat winds itself around your legs, nuzzling its head as it goes.

“Oh, you must be the famed Bee,” you say to the animal, crouching down to give him a good scratch between his ears, delighting in the way he purrs and rubs against your hand.

You stay in your crouched position, cooing to the cat as he flips onto the ground, allowing you to pet him and making happy little noises as you do. Poe, for just a moment, stands in the entryway to the living room, smiling as he hears you speaking softly to Bee.

“Be careful, or you’ll inflate his ego,” he finally says, suppressing a chuckle as you jump in surprise.

“He deserves it, he’s adorable,” you reply, standing up, much to the protest of Bee, who meows loudly in an attempt to get you to stay.

As much as it pains you to leave the cat, you follow Poe back into the kitchen, Bee trailing behind.

“What can I help with?” You ask as Bee winds his way between your legs again, trying to get the attention back on him.

“Nothing, it’s almost done.”

“Then can I help set the table?”

“Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’ sound. He truly is a headstrong, stubborn man.

So, you sit around and wait while Poe finishes up before plating the food and setting it on the table. It smells amazing, and you’re sure that it’s going to taste twice as good. Poe pours you a drink, and then you settle in at his cozy kitchen table.

You spend hours there, talking and talking about everything and nothing and all the things in between. You reminisce on your childhoods and cringe as you tell stories from high school and college, reliving your fondest memories.

You can’t remember a time in your life where you’ve talked with someone this much, where you don’t even realize the sky growing dark or the hours ticking by, you’re so enthralled with Poe and everything he had to say. Of course, he listens to you and your stories with just as much intensity, asking questions and humming along in all the right places.

At some point, you find yourself squished between him and the counter, helping him wash the dishes. He still insists that he wash and you dry, so he instructs you on where all of the dishes go. It feels intimate in an unexpected way, and it makes your heart thud against your ribs.

Though, you’re doing a much better job at keeping yourself together than you thought. You haven’t spilled your guts to the man yet, and it looks like you’re in the clear, as long as you remember how to breathe when he steps behind you to open up a cabinet and you can feel the warmth of his chest on your back, even through the layers of fabric that separate you.

It’s like he does it on purpose, acts all charming and lovely so you fall in love with him, and even though you know it’s not remotely true, that’s the only reason you can think of for why he’d torture you like this. Or, maybe, you’re being a bit dramatic and he’s just trying to put the dishes away.

Either way, he steps away all too soon, and you suddenly feel extremely cold without him pressed up against you.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” you blurt after a glance at the clock on his oven, worried you’d overstayed your welcome by about three hours.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he responds, looking confused until you jerk your heads towards the time flashing on his oven, nodding along as realization dawns across his face. “Well, now I’m sorry for keeping you here so late.”

It’s delivered with one of those classic Poe Dameron smiles that makes you weak in the knees, and you’re lucky you’ve got the sink at your back to support you.

“Alright, let me grab my keys,” he says, leaving no room for discussion as he turns away, heading towards his bedroom.

You shake your head, even though he can’t see you, and crouch down to give Bee some goodbye scratches. When you stand, he gently headbutts your leg, and your heart bursts at this adorable little animal. You see why Poe loves him so much.

When Poe comes back into the kitchen, you head towards his door and slip your shoes back on, waiting as he does the same. The two of you talk quietly as you make your way to his car, mindful of the late hour.

The conversation dies off into a comfortable type of quiet after Poe starts driving, and you almost think you could fall asleep like this, feeling warm and happy and safe. But, then Poe starts to talk, so you put off your nap for now.

“I’d let you watch him, next time I go out of town if you want.”

It seems random, out of the blue, but it makes your throat close up all the same. You remember the jokes about just how much Poe loved his cat, how he wouldn’t let anyone but Finn, Rey, or Rose pet sit for him.

You think you grasp his meaning, despite how well he thinks he’s hidden it.

“You’d trust me with your best friend?” Your voice is teasing, and your chest warms at the smile that graces his features.

“‘Course I would.” He’s pulling up to your building now, and you’d give anything to live in this moment for a little while longer. “Though he’s more of a handful than he seems.”

“Like you?” You ask, unbuckling and getting ready to bolt.

“Just like me.”

“No one’s just like you, Poe.” You say, voice going soft and tentative, “You’re one of a kind.”

You hope he grasps the meaning behind your words, while simultaneously praying he doesn’t.

“Goodnight, Poe.” You decide that no answer is better, so you hurry out and shut the car door without looking back at him, trying to walk to your apartment as calmly as possible, even though you’re rioting on the inside.

Your heart doesn’t stop pounding until you're laying in your bed, running through the night in your mind over and over, analyzing every single thing you’ve said. You aren’t sure how, but at some point, you fall asleep, still ruminating over every moment you’ve spent with Poe.

Tags: @aellynera @userspectors @andromeda-dear @dailyreverie @poopirate @luckynachos @creatively-analytical @stevenngrant @tiquinntheghost @fallinallinmendes @sabxism @ghostsongwriter-22

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron au #modern!poe dameron #modern!poe dameron x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars au #you are in love series

[invisibleraven]

Haunted Holidays

December 24: Fairy Lights <-AO3 link!

“I know you’re disappointed, I am too,” Julie said down the phone line. “But the ticket prices are just way too high to afford coming home this year.”

“I’m more than happy to pay mija, you know that,” Ray replied.

“No, I can’t ask you to do that,” Julie chided. “Look, I know it sucks that we’ll be apart for Christmas, but that means I have months to save up and come home for the whole summer next year, okay?”

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come?” Ray asked. “I don’t want you to spend the holidays alone.”

“I won’t be alone,” Julie assured him. “Reggie is stuck here too, and we’re going to have a nice, quiet Christmas together. But we’ll video chat for presents on Christmas morning, and it’ll be almost as good as me being there, okay?”

“You try telling your tia that,” Ray grumbled. “I’m sure she’ll call you later telling you to come home too.”

“Next year, I promise,” Julie vowed. “Te amo papi.”

Ray repeated the sentiment, and Julie ended the phone call with a sigh. Reggie offered her a cup of coffee, which she took with thanks. “Your folk take it any better?” she asked.

The tips of Reggie’s ears burned. “Oh um, I wasn’t planning on telling them? They don’t care if I come home or not-this will be one less thing to fight over. I usually spend the holidays with my MeeMaw, but she gets that the flights aren’t cheap. I’ll see her over spring break if I can.”

Julie flung her head back with a groan. “Man, why does everything have to be so expensive?”

“Capitalism?”

“Fuck Capitalism!” Julie proclaimed. Reggie bumped fists with her at that, and then they looked around their barren little apartment. “Won’t be much of a Christmas, but at least we’re together.”

Reggie hummed. “I’m sure we could go find a few cheap decorations and a second hand tree if we looked.”

“I unfortunately have a shift in an hour, so I can’t help with that,” Julie replied. “But feel free to look around, and if you find anything decent, let me know how much I owe you.”

Reggie gave a mock salute, and soon saw her off to work while he decided to hit the thrift stores. He had honestly never really cared about Christmas, but he knew it stung Julie to not be able to spend the time with her family, so for her, he was willing to go all out.

The next few days were rinse and repeat, with them working, and Reggie finding them decor, while Julie agreed to handle the food. It wouldn’t be anything fancy, but it would be better than nothing.

The morning of Christmas Eve, Julie rushed out of the apartment, with Reggie promising it would be fully decked when she came home. She had volunteered to pick up a shift today , since the tips would be good, and she could add them to her going home fund for next year. Or maybe pay Reggie back because she knew he spent more than he was admitting to on the holiday decor.

Of course the day dragged on, and Julie swore no amount of tips made it worth it-even if she could now swing by the bakery and pick up a tray of pastry for dessert. Plus a Santa cookie, just because.

Julie rushed home, almost giddy to see what Reggie had done with the space, and to have a few days free. Sure, it sucked not to be going home, but she had to make the best of a bad situation right? She kicked her boots off at the door, calling out “Reg! I’m…home?”

The space was filled with fairy lights, strung from the ceiling, the cupboards, around the windows. “Oh wow.” There was a tree in the corner, decked out with little decorations of red, purple, and gold. A laptop was set up at the coffee table playing a crackling fire, with soft music coming from it. There was garland and tinsel and holly everywhere, but in a tasteful way, not just flung over every surface.

“Hey, you like it?” Reggie asked, grinning from beneath a ridiculous pair of antlers he was wearing on a headband, a small red dot painted on the tip of his nose.

“Reggie… this is magical!” Julie said, setting her things down so she could hug him, whooping as he spun them around. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble!”

“Yes I did,” Reggie assured her as he set her down. “I know you’re bummed you couldn’t get home, so I had to make your holiday season as amazing as you.”

“Well I love it!” she declared. “Let me get my stuff off and I’ll start cooking, we can put on a movie, have a good snuggle.”

“Sounds like a perfect Christmas to me,” Reggie said. “As long as we can wear our holiday jammies too.”

“Well d’uh.”

Julie hadn’t gone all out for the food for tonight-just some fish tacos, but she had a small chicken for the two of them for tomorrow. Plus it would last days, so they could survive on leftovers for a few days. They ate quickly, then met back up with cocoa to snuggle while watching Love Actually-a favourite of Julie’s, and only because she had won the thumb wrestling match and narrowly beat out Reggie’s choice of Gremlins.

“At least you didn’t suggest Die Hard,” Julie said.

“I mean, it is a great movie, but it’s not a Christmas movie,” Reggie said. “You should be more happy I didn’t suggest the Star Wars Holiday Special.”

“Ugh nope!” Julie declared. “I’ve seen enough clips of that to ban it from our home.”

“What if I tickle you into agreeing?” Reggie asked with an arch of his eyebrow before pouncing, making Julie squeal as he assaulted her sides with his fingers, making her cackle with laughter.

“Stop! I give!” Julie declared, breathing heavily, flat on her back on the couch, Reggie perched over her, smiling down and a little winded. The fairy lights everywhere gave him such a golden glow, and Julie reached out, tucking some of his hair back. Sucking in a breath as he caught her hand, kissing the centre of her palm.

“Julie…”

Eyes met, and there was no more need for words, as Julie pulled him down for a kiss-a real, passionate, fiery kiss that had Julie whimpering into it and Reggie’s toes curling in his festive socks. A kiss that ramped up and then slowly petered off as they needed to breathe, pulling back with wide eyes and racing hearts. “Wow,” Reggie whispered. “Didn’t even need to break out the mistletoe.”

“You never needed mistletoe with me,” Julie promised him. “I never needed any of this.”

“I swear if you quote Mariah Carey at me,” Reggie fake threatened, but grinned as Julie pulled him in close once more, nipping at his ear, which made him gasp.

“I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know…” she purred.

“Oh darlin’, I swear, I’ll make all your wishes come true,” Reggie declared, scooping her up from the couch. “Just lead the way, and I’m yours.”

“My room then,” Julie declared, laughing as Reggie trotted them off.

Sure she hadn’t gotten to go home to her family that year, but Julie didn’t really care at that moment, because she finally got what she really wanted for Christmas all along. And the next year, she got to bring him home with her, and every year after that as well.

#jatpadvent2023 #rulie #julie and the phantoms

[heartsforsalem]

knktober day four

I rushed off the bus running to my apartment it was dark and late at night and I had a bad feeling as soon as I stepped off the bus. And I was correct as a slightly taller man walks up to me 

“Where are you going at this time of night beautiful” he cooed grabbing me by my shoulders. I tensed up “I’m just going home” I mumbled if it was anyone else I’d probably be snappier but this man was bigger than me and stronger than me who knows what could happen. 

“Why don’t you come with me” he offers I shake my head “no sir I’m ok” the man doesn’t seem drunk or on any type of drugs. Suddenly the man stepped back he looked like he had seen a ghost. I felt a hand on my side pulling me closer to a body “I don’t think she’ll be going anywhere with you” a familiar voice states behind me.

I relaxed hearing Cheryl’s voice. The man ran off screaming I just turned around and hugged Cheryl “thank you oh my god” I say feeling her wrap her arms around me 

Cheryl has been my roommate for almost a year now. I like living with her she’s tidy and clean she just has some strange quirks like she spends most of her days sleeping. Cheryl’s a lot more well of than I am so she doesn’t need to work as much as I do, she works I just don’t know what she does 

And then she stays up till the ungodly hours of the night doing god knows what in that basement we have she hardly eats and it freaks me out. Other than that she’s ok she’s kind to me and I never have any problems with her 

Me and Cheryl go back into the apartment “you were out there without a jacket poor thing you must be cold, I’ll make you some tea” Cheryl said hurrying over to the tea kettle “no I’m ok you don’t have to” I replied “nonsense just relax” that’s something else I like about Cheryl she takes care of me she looks out for me 

I sank into the couch letting a sigh of relief out and after a while Cheryl brought the tea to me. We sat on the couch and talked for a while we talked about our day what we did how it was she played with my hair the whole time I always liked when she did that.

I felt myself start to doze off I’m tired anyway I should probably head to bed “Cheryl I’m about to go and sleep” I say immediately yawning after “ok sleep well T” she seemed unusually exited tonight maybe she was just happy.

I stood up from the couch slowly and dropped down almost instantaneously. 

I woke up my brain felt hazy and even though I opened my eyes it was still pitch black. I could feel I was dangling. My arms were above my head and my feet didn’t touch the ground 

My body hurt a lot more than it should. I pulled against my constraints and jumped when I felt a had on my waist gently holding me still “shhhh relax” the voice said. I immediately recognized the voice as Cheryl’s. She runs her hands over my figure before stopping at my hips and gently giving them a squeeze 

“Cheryl what the fuck is-“ “you don’t know how long I’ve waited to sink my teeth into you” she hissed cutting me off “what?” I said confused

I felt hot breath near my neck making me flinch  . She kissed my neck tenderly making me squirm “Cheryl what are you doing” I asked again fear growing.

She took the blindfold off. Cheryl looked sickly her skin was paler than it usually was and she was shaking she had this look in her eye a look of desperation “im sorry I just can’t do it” she whined 

“Do what?” She showed a toothy grin revealing her fangs. She dragged her tongue against her sharp white blades looking at me hungrily “suck you dry” she said her words came out slowly and precisely she hit every word with precision.

She meant it. I stared down at her surprised but then it clicked she was so odd it made much more sense “your, your going to kill me” I whined struggling more and more feeling my constraints start to slip. She didn’t tie them correctly 

She held me still again “oh baby I won’t kill you I’d never kill you” she said biting her lips “I tried to hold myself back I really tried baby” she said getting a bit whiney “it’s just, you look so good and I bet you taste even better” she said letting out a sigh reminiscent of a moan. It shocked me still 

“Please Toni baby just give me a taste I’ll leave you alone I’ll even move out but I need it just a taste” her grip on me had tightened so hard her knuckles were white and the look in her eyes was nothing short of desperate. I couldn’t answer her “won’t that like turn me into a vampire too” i replied 

“This is real life it doesn’t work like that. I swear I’ll patch you back up I’ll only take a little just please I need it” she said. “Real life” i scoffed under my breath. If  I didn’t say yes it feels like she’d bite me anyway she was basically squirming holding on to me and the table right next to me physically restraining herself from jumping at me

“I’ll even make it fun for you” she pleaded “fun for me?” I replied “I’ll touch you I’ll do anything you ask me too I’ll do anything for it” her words had me dizzy I could feel my arms getting tired and my core heating up

Seeing her all desperate like this. She’ll do anything for it “anything?” “Anything” I tried my best to hide my smirk “what makes me so desirable hm?” I coo “everything the way you walk the way your body moves everything even  the way you say your words god the things I’d do to you I  don’t just want to bite you I want to devour you I want to make you all mines and I don’t think I can take it anymore” she said she was falling over her words and now digging her nails into the table 

“Let me down” I say. She looks at me hesitantly but agrees letting me down slowly and untying me she kept her hands around my wrists though her eyes where obsessively going over my whole body “you can have me, if you promise you’ll stop following me” she looked flabbergasted “you knew!?” 

I giggled “your not sneaky blossom, now do you promise” she looks away embarrassed “it’s to make sure you’re safe” she said defensively “it’s creepy” I responded. She huffed “fine can I-“ “ yes you can”

In an instant she had me pinned to the wall her hand still on my hip. I felt her sharp fangs dig deep into my skin making me wail “I like seeing you in pain” she rasped straight into my ear sending shivers down my spine. I felt as the blood left my body. Cheryl’s moans and my whimpers  filled the room. The sensation ran through my body. Finally she pulled back my dark red blood dripping down from her mouth 

She scooped it up licking every inch of it off “you taste even better than I expected” she said half moaning I stood up trying to catch my breath “fuck you said you’d make that fun for me” her face reddens “sorry I got carried away” 

She covered my bleeding neck and then took her hand off. The wound was clean and healed the only thing that remained were extremely obvious bite marks. “Unbutton your pants for me” I looked at her shocked. I suppose that’s not what I particularly had in mind but I really wasn’t opposed to the idea.

I obliged. “Sit on the table” I scoffed “why can’t you just do it standing up” she just chuckled “fine stay up” she walked over to me attaching her lips to my neck leaving various hickeys in various spots on my neck on my collarbone, near my jawline her hands playing with the hem of my panties.

She removed her hands from below unbuttoning my shirt and unclipping my bra and starting to play with my chest. “God you don’t know how long I’ve waited to see you like this” she cooed 

I looked up at her I couldn’t take my eyes from hers her beautiful brown eyes scanning every part of my body going limb to limb muscle to muscle. It took my breath away. And in the soft lighting of this basement for once she didn’t look threatening she looked magnificent 

Like a queen like a goddess blessed by the beauty of heaven. I pulled her head towards mine and kissed her feeling her fangs brush up against my lips as I pulled her in the kisses got hungrier and she slipped her hands into my pants sticking her fingers into my throbbing heat 

I let out an exhale as I slowly started to grind on her fingers. She curled her finger a little hitting my spot just right causing me to let out a small whimper 

She kept going painfully slow and keeping her lips inches away from mine. Suddenly I guess she changed her mind. She started to kiss down my neck taking off my shirt and bra she pushed me into the wall going all the way to her knees as she was now face to face with my pelvis.

“Open your legs for me” and I did. She let her fangs gently brush  me as she started to eat me out I moaned as her tongue brushed against my clit. She kept this up for a while getting more aggressive as I got closer I held onto the table next to us for stability “fuck Cheryl make me cum” I begged slurring my words 

“keep going my god baby I’m so close” I whined  she started to speed up naturally knowing just where to lick to drive me absolutely crazy. I dug my hands in her hair making her groan.

Suddenly I felt my orgasm coming as I got louder “fuck I’m cumming” I whined feeling my legs start to shake. At this point even if we were in the basement the neighbors probably heard us. She kept going not slowing down or stopping.

I felt my legs becoming weaker by the second as she was working me up to a second orgasm  if The people walking past didn’t know who lived in this house they did now. As I can too my fourth orgasm I collapsed falling into Cheryl’s grasp. “Fuck” I sighed relaxing into her hands “I told you sit down” she teased.

#kinktober 2023 #choni fanfiction #smut #kinktober #wlw #lgbtq

[mxpseudonym]

Not Good Enough

Pairing: Luca Changretta x OC (or she/her pronouns reader)

Summary: Luca decides it's time to call it quits before anything dangerous happens. Of course, he hasn't quite thought through how this would go.

Length: 993

Warnings: None

A/N: I love that these are getting longer and longer 😂. This is the same OC from Get a Real Hobby and I Don't Like You, I Just Want You Here Forever.

(By the way, I didn't realize the major plot hole of where exactly does OC live? I don't know how to fix it other than just saying she lives in her own secure luxury apartment that Luca pays for and basically lives in as well cause he's always there. She'll eventually live with Luca.)

--

She knew when he called her by her first name that something was wrong. It had been ages since Luca had called her anything but Blossom. She almost thought he'd forgotten her name altogether.

"What? What is it?"

She walked slowly from her place at the living room entry to where he sat on her couch, elbows on his knees and hands clasped in prayer. Her heart was thumping loudly, preparing for anything.

"Maybe, maybe we shouldn't get married," Luca said.

She sighed and dropped the bags she held before sitting next to him and placing a hand on her chest.

"Jesus Christ, Luca, you can't scare me like that. And what the fuck are you talking about? Of course, we're getting married," she scoffed, smacking his arm. Under any other circumstance, he'd laugh and tease her for declaring it so clearly and proudly before him. But today was different.

"Listen. My family, we've got trouble, alright? My brothers have made a mess of things overseas. Worse than my mess with the robbery before I got here. I told you about that, didn't I?" He asked.

"Uh-huh," she nodded. Luca told her everything. She gave him a look that told him to get to the point.

"My cousins are stirring things up with the local gangs. I heard some of these kids don't care about honor. They'll take down whoever. I'm not letting that happen to you, alright? You can keep the apartment, and I'll take care of you. You don't have to worry about anything."

Luca included the promise while keeping his eyes on the leather shoes she'd helped him pick out that morning. There was a pause before she huffed, shaking her head.

"That's not good enough," she said quietly.

"What,"

"That," she stopped him, loud and firm now as she stood. "That is not good enough. It wouldn't be good enough on an average day, but it's definitely not good enough today when I just spent hours with your mother, promising her I'll be a good wife to her son and proving that I can cook. By the way, I almost divulged a secret family recipe for you, okay? Come spring, you're meeting me at St. Bernadette's, and we're getting married in that church."

Luca looked at her in some surprise. They always kidded, and he, for the most part, knew she loved him. But a tiny part of him that could be real loud sometimes, thought she'd jump at the chance not to marry him. At the very least, he thought she'd be okay postponing it. But spending the day with his mother on her own accord? Exchanging recipes? What was this side of her?

"Are you hearing me?" He asked anyway.

"Unfortunately so. I've been sitting here hearing you give up. I'm hearing you be a coward. You are a lot of things, Changretta, but chicken? That's new," she tsked, turning away from him.

She faced the other side of the room and placed a hand over her chest as discreetly as she could. She'd likely never admit it, but the pang she felt in her chest at the idea of walking out for the apartment without Luca was unbearable. How dare he make her love him and then do something like this? She heard him moving until he placed his warm hands on her shoulders.

"You are most important to me."

"And do you protect things you'll cherish from a distance?"

"If you were hurt,"

"Like now?"

There was silence until he let out a sigh. She could feel him trembling with aggravation and turned to reason with him only to find him laughing to himself.

"Why are you laughing, you sick monster?" She grimaced and moved away from Luca in case he was losing his mind before her very eyes. His husky laugh, the one she loved and reminded her of home, eased her while he rubbed his temples.

"I cannot believe I've found a woman who is so stubborn she won't let me leave her. As if it was your idea to get married in the first place."

"For fuck's sake." She rolled her eyes and moved to walk past him, only for Luca to sweep her into his arms.

"You're smart, huh?" He asked. She nodded immediately.

"I'd say so."

"Then I'm trusting you're thinking this through. I told you the problem, and you'd rather be with me instead of safe somewhere." He reminded her of what she was giving up. And still, she nodded without hesitation.

"If safe means all your hard work in getting me to stay with you goes out the window, and I lose something important to me, then I don't want it."

"Alright," Luca agreed. All he needed was her to say it.

Luca leaned down and pulled her into a kiss. He'd never stop worrying. But something told him that any person willing to go after the love of his life would have hell to pay. She was no docile thing, which was only proven when she moved away from him all too soon.

"And never say that to me again. You come home, and you tell me that you had a bad day, and we talk about it. Don't go deciding shit like that on your own," she scolded him, pressing her manicured nail into his chest. Luca grabbed her hand, pulling her into his chest with a chuckle.

"Yes, ma'am," he murmured against her cheek between kisses. He could feel her face warm from his caresses even as she told him he was too silly. She mumbled into his shirt, and he leaned back. "What was that?"

"That's not my name," she said with furrowed brows and a slight pout. He had to bite down on his knuckle not to laugh out loud. When she was this adorable, it went straight to his heart.

"You're a fucking riot, Blossom."

"Yeah, I am. And you're gonna be Mr. Blossom whether you like it or not."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am."

—

Mx Any Taglist: @cactisjuice

If you're a follower and would like to be on a taglist, please message me via dms or asks. You can be on a list for a specific character, for smut, or for any time I post.

#The love of our lives is back! #She's still a baddie #And Luca is still down bad #Also Blossom 🌸😭 #She's spoiled af too #Luca Changretta #Luca Changretta Imagine #Luca Changretta x Reader #Luca Changretta x OC #Luca Changretta Fanfic #Peaky Blinders Imagine

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

The Stars Were Bright Above | Peter Parker

✦ pairing — Peter Parker x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 12k

✦ fake dating AU

✦ summary — in an attempt to make your best friend Harry jealous, you accept to fake date Peter who needs to cover up his big secret.

✦ request — I just read your Harry series and I was wondering if you could do something similar where reader is in love with Harry and she fake dates Peter and falls for him?

✦ warnings — angst, family issues, mentions of food and alcohol, language, reader and Peter are in college, brief depictions of anxiety, sexually suggestive content, drama between friends, fluff.

✦ author's note — whew, this one was supposed to be a quick one shot that’d help me get back into writing after days with a horrible migraine and then I completely lost control of it. I managed to find a compromise in 12k words after an excruciating editing process. Hope it’s coherent and that you like it!

════════════════════════

“I would love to stop and chat,” you told Peter as you looked for your keys, “but I’m in a hurry.”

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

If only you could find the stupid keys first! Oh, well, you’d check your backpack once you were in the parking lot.

Peter could have used the time it took you to cross campus to tell you whatever it was he wanted to say. Instead, he fiddled with the straps of his backpack and walked beside you in complete silence.

“I need a favor,” he finally said when you stopped in front of your car. As though it hadn’t been obvious.

“Peter,” you sighed, trying to hold your open backpack against your knee. A horrible idea, really. “My mom will kill me if I’m late for lunch.”

He took your backpack in his hands and held it for you. “I... it’s embarrassing.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“It can’t wait!”

His tone made you lift your head. “Are you alright? Is your aunt sick or something?”

He shook his head. “It’s about May in a way... oh, that rhymed.”

“Focus.”

“Right, right. Uhmmm she thought I was hiding something from her—“

You interrupted, “Were you?”

“Kind of,” he admitted. “So I told her I have a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t know you were dating anybody.”

“I’m not.”

“So why did you—“ You groaned. “Oh my God, you’re an idiot.”

“I deserve that one.”

“You want me to convince Gwen?”

“Gwen? Why would—“ He shook his head. Avoiding your eyes, he said, “I told her it was you.”

“And she believed you?”

“I’m as shocked as you are!”

“So you want me to lie to your aunt and tell her I’m dating you.” You closed your backpack, having had no luck finding your keys.

“More or less.” Peter continued holding your backpack, patiently waiting for you to retrieve it. “I was thinking more along the lines of lying to everybody and tell them we’re dating.”

You brought a hand to your hair, lightly gripping it for a moment. “I’m not a good actress.”

“I think your keys are in your hoodie.”

You palmed the front pocket where the sound of metal against metal let you know he was right. Introducing your hand, you withdrew the keys. “How did you know?”

“I heard them.”

“You have amazing hearing.” You reached over to take your backpack.

He handed it to you. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

You unlocked the car and opened the back door on the driver’s side. Leaving your backpack onto the backseat, you heard Peter ask, “So... are you helping me?”

Standing straight, you turned to peer at him. You had to squint as the sun hit your face. “Can we talk later or tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Text me. Please.”

Peter had always been considerate with you and this time was no different. He patted your back before walking away on the opposite direction.

You bit your bottom lip. “Hey.”

Peter turned around. “Mmh?”

“Want me to drop you off?”

“Sure.”

It was nice to have some company in the car after a pretty lonely day. Gwen was nowhere to be seen and you didn’t share classes with Mary Jane. You had other friends, but they didn’t make you feel complete like Gwen, Mary Jane, Flash, Peter, and Harry did.

Harry...

You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “Did you tell Harry?”

He didn’t sound surprised. “I was waiting for your answer. I told May she was the first person to know.”

You hummed. “What would I have to do?”

“She’ll want to confirm it’s true so you’d have dinner with us and then we would act like a couple in front of everybody.”

“Like a couple?”

“Just holding hands and hugging,” he clarified. “Maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek to throw people off their rhythm. Oh, and pet names!”

“You’ve got everything planned, huh.”

“My life depends on this,” he said dramatically.

“Do I get to know your secret if I say yes?”

He considered your question for a moment. “Eventually.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing this. “When should I come over for dinner?”

Peter’s eyes lit up. “Probably this weekend. I’ll ask May and text you.”

“Cool. I’ll talk to you later, then.”

He nodded. “Be safe.”

“You too.”

You pulled over a few blocks from your family home to put on some makeup, that way you would avoid the chastising that came every time your mom saw the bags under your eyes.

Wondering if Peter could tell the reason behind your helpfulness, you got rid of your hoodie and slipped a sweater on.

Doing this every time you visited after school was tiring, but it was better than putting up with meaningless fights.

Your mom was losing her patience when you arrived, you could see it on her face. She glared at you as you approached her to kiss her cheek. This and the fact that you couldn’t stand pretending so many aspects of your personality, were what lead you to choose to live on your own.

She hadn’t been too happy about it, but she was busy with the family business, her social life, and your sister to complain. Your dad always did what any of you wanted, mostly to make you three shut up.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! Peter needed help with something.”

You sat down next to your sister who lifted an eyebrow.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately,” your mom suspiciously pointed out.

Oh, so she was keeping tabs on what you did on your free time...

The truth was there had never been anything between you and Peter.

You met him on his first day of college. He was the new kid everybody was intrigued by. Harry hated him at first and although you didn’t, you didn’t speak to him until Harry decided to stop being an asshole.

Now Harry was too busy with Liz, his gorgeous girlfriend, to care about you, his best friend.

It hurt, it really did. You befriended Harry when you were kids and had been inseparable up until now. Of course you had to put up with his weird flings, but he had never cast you aside for them.

You had harbored hope that he was secretly into you, but the less he spoke to you the more you realized he hadn’t found the one until he met Liz. That hurt even more — you were supposed to be the one.

Everything had played out in your mind from the moment you realized you had a crush on him. You would start dating in high school or college, get married, have kids, be a happy family...

But ever since he left you by yourself at a party when he was supposed to be your ride, you realized he hadn’t cared as much as you did.

Peter walked you to your apartment that night and made sure you drank plenty of water. He didn’t have to do it, Gwen and Mary Jane had already offered to do it themselves, but for some reason he felt like it.

You took a sip of water, realizing your mom and your sister were waiting for an answer. “He’s nice,” you opted for saying.

“Nice, eh,” you sister teased you.

“Yeah, nice. Is there a problem with that?”

You knew that attitude would only make them believe they were right in their assumptions. It was what Peter needed from you either way.

Truthfully, Peter wasn’t always nice, but you knew he tried.

“Are we waiting for dad?” you asked.

Your mom nodded. “He’ll be home any moment now.”

Your mom never complained when your dad was late, or when he was too busy to come home for lunch. You were used to it, she was biased in his favor — she had been since you were a child.

You checked your phone to keep yourself entertained. The Notification Center showed multiple badges, but the messages one caught your eye immediately.

Gwen💛: Missed you today.

You unlocked your phone to reply that you had missed her too when another text came in.

Pete: May said it would be cool if the three of us had dinner on Saturday.

You answered Peter first.

Sounds good to me. Just tell me what should I bring.

Your presence is more than enough, you’re our guest.

You huffed a laugh as you typed. Look at you trying to be cute.

I’ll have you know I’m extremely cute all the time.

Yeah, yeah. Should I bring dessert?

You don’t have to bring anything if you don’t want to.

I will strangle you the moment I see you, Peter.

Just say yes or no.

Maybe.

I hate you.

That’s not the proper way to treat your boyfriend :(

You could picture the glint in his eyes as he tried not to laugh.

You went along with it. I’m sorry, babe :(

I forgive you because I’m a nice boyfriend.

Won’t happen again. <3

Now let’s hope we can talk like that in person.

Are you daring me to sweet talk you in person?

Yes.

Your mom called your name. “Your dad asked you a question.”

You lifted your head. “Mmh?”

“No, no, continue texting,” he said sarcastically, “I have all day.”

You quickly typed TTYL and locked your phone. “Sorry.”

Your dad shook his head. “You and Harry always do this.”

“I wasn’t texting Harry,” you felt the need to explain. Harry didn’t deserve credit for this. “What did you want to ask?”

“I asked,” he remarked the word. “If you would be busy this weekend. Your sister won’t be.”

“I— uhmmm... I’m having dinner with Peter and his aunt on Saturday.” You saw your sister purse her lips beside you. “Did you need anything?”

“To spend time with my family.”

“I guess I can come over on Sunday or Saturday morning.”

“I was thinking about going out of town for the weekend,” he clarified.

“The three of you can go if you don’t want to wait another week,” you assured them. “I already told Peter I would have dinner with him and his aunt so I can’t cancel. I also have projects to do.”

════════════════════════

You rested your head on Gwen’s shoulder as both of you waited for Mary Jane in the cafeteria. They never made you feel like a third wheel even though they were dating so you never avoided spending time with them.

Mary Jane arrived accompanied by Peter. He looked extremely serious but he didn’t say anything as he stood across the table, staring at you like a child scared of saying what they had been up to. She elbowed him on the side before sitting down.

Peter got closer to you. “Can we talk?” he asked. “It’s important.”

You nodded, lifting your head off Gwen’s shoulder. As you stood up, you felt her hand squeeze yours which prompted you to turn and look at her.

She gave you a playful look that made you realize she wanted to know every detail once you were done. As your eyes crossed Mary Jane’s, you saw a similar sentiment in them.

“I’ll be right back,” you told them to pacify them.

He guided you to an empty area which wasn’t such an easy task. You ended up resting your shoulder against the wall, facing Peter while he looked around.

His eyes landed on you as he spoke in a hushed voice. “Can we start today?”

You mirrored his tone. “Fake dating?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay...”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Well, you’re changing the plan,” you explained. You hated changing plans, even more so when you weren’t sure you were the right person to execute them.

“I know. Just a day earlier, though.” He unashamedly pouted.

“Okay,” you said, this time sure. “Any particular reason?”

“There’s this freshman who thinks I flirt with her just because I’m nice to her and she’s creeping me out. I feel like she follows me around.”

You sighed. “She just has a crush on you, don’t be a baby.”

“Please?”

“I already said yes, you baby.”

“You kinda like calling me baby, don’t you?”

You playfully shoved him “You’re so annoying.” However, before he could leave to do whatever it was he did in his free periods, you grabbed him by the wrist. “Does Mary Jane know about your plan?”

“No. Why?”

“You arrived together.”

“Ah. No.” He shook his head. “I was looking for you and asked her if she had seen you.”

“Makes sense.”

“Yeah...”

You shifted on your feet. “So what now?”

“Do you have class next period?”

“Sadly.”

He chuckled. “I’ll walk you to class.”

“Wanna hang out with us for a little bit?”

“I gotta talk to Flash.”

You wiggled your eyebrows. “Gonna ask him out too?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m never telling you who I find attractive ever again.”

“Good. Don’t wanna make your girlfriend jealous — do you, babe?”

Peter leaned over. His breath fanned on your face as he said, “Don’t worry, baby, I only have eyes for you.” He then kissed your cheek. “I’ll be right back. Wait for me with Gwen and Mary Jane.”

You nodded, hoping you didn’t look as stunted as you felt.

Both your friends stared at you, desperate to hear an explanation. You understood why, but you were still trying to come up with an excuse as to why you were so flustered over a kiss on the cheek.

You checked your phone, but there was nothing worthy of your attention.

Mary Jane spoke first, “What did Peter need?”

“We are a thing now.”

Gwen hummed. “But what did he need?”

“Permission to make it public.”

Mary Jane scratched her cheek. “Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“You think he’d be a bad boyfriend?”

“I think you shouldn’t use him to make Harry notice you.”

That was harsh. Perhaps you deserved the reminder that Harry couldn’t care less about you, and perhaps you also deserved to feel bad for trying to use Peter against him — you would’ve preferred if the reminder didn’t come from your best friend.

“I’m not,” you partially lied. “I genuinely like Peter.”

True to his word, Peter walked you to class. You didn’t hold hands, it didn’t feel right, but he sweetly told you that he’d be waiting for you after your last class.

You saw Harry across the hallway, talking to Liz and one of her friends. For a second you thought he would walk towards you, the way he held your gaze had been almost cruel.

But he didn’t, he just gave you a nod and walked in the opposite direction, hand in hand with Liz.

You had better things to worry about. Your classes, your family’s expectations, helping Peter — reciprocal things to an extent. So why couldn’t you just get over the fact that Harry didn’t care about you?

Somebody poked you on the arm with their finger. Turning to the side, you found Flash who shot you a smile.

“What’s up?” you greeted him.

“We have a project to finish.”

You cursed under your breath. “Are you free on Sunday?”

“Nope.”

“Tomorrow?”

He tilted his head. “Yeah. I’ll drop by your place.”

“At what time?”

“Like 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Don’t wanna wake you up by mistake again.”

Peter laughed behind you, having caught that last part.

You ignored Peter. “I have something to do after 5. Why don’t you come over early? I promise I’ll be awake.”

Flash shared a look with Peter and then patted your shoulder. “Cool. See you tomorrow, sleeping beauty.”

Peter snickered, standing beside you now.

“Stop laughing.”

“I just can’t believe you’re that grumpy in the mornings.” He started walking towards the exit.

You walked beside him. “You don’t know the whole story.”

He opened the door for you and then followed your steps. “You can tell it tomorrow at dinner.”

Craning your neck go look at him, you asked, “You want your aunt to laugh at me?”

“I’ll defend you.”

You suddenly remembered that you didn’t know what you were supposed to do or say in front of his aunt. You had met her before, but that fact made this situation even more bizarre.

You tried to start with an easy question, “Should I wear a dress for tomorrow?”

“You can wear whatever you want,” he assured you.

Well, that wasn’t helpful at all.

════════════════════════

You checked the time on your phone and realized you had a message from Flash. He was on his way.

Looking around your bedroom, your eyes fell on the bed where a pile of clothes laid. The sight stressed you out, and even more the fact that you didn’t seem to be able to set your mind on an outfit.

You anxiously waited for Flash at the door, pulling it open the moment you were aware of his presence on the other side.

He lifted both eyebrows. You usually took your sweet time to answer the door.

“We sh—“

You interrupted him. “I need your help with something else first.”

Flash softly dropped the materials he had been carrying onto the couch as he gave you a skeptic look. “I’m not disposing of a body for you.”

You took him by the wrist, dragging him to your bedroom. It wasn’t an abnormal occurrence by any means, he honestly should have had expected it.

“God, not again.” He sighed as his eyes fell on the pairs of shoes scattered around the room.

“Come on, just tell me if I should wear that skirt.” You pointed at the black skirt on top of the mountain of clothing. “Or jeans.”

He opened his arms, unsure as to what to tell you as his hands stayed in an awkward angle.

“What would you want me to wear if I were meeting your family?” you encouraged him to help you.

He cocked his head, looking at you through his lashes. “A straight jacket.”

“Please take this seriously.”

Inhaling deeply, he set his eyes on the pile of clothes. “Is the skirt more comfortable than the jeans?”

“I’m not thinking about comfort.”

“Well, you should. You know May will make you squirm with her questions.”

“No skirt, then.”

“It’s just dinner,” Flash reminded you, “wear something casual.”

”Yeah,” you sighed, “just dinner.”

What an easy thing to say. You knew so few details that you might as well make a fool of yourself in front of May.

Flash ignored your semblance even though you knew he took note of it. He reached his hand into one of the bags he had been carrying then handed you a paper bag. “I brought breakfast.”

“Why didn’t you say so when you arrived?”

He glared at you. “Why don’t you get us something to drink instead?”

You ate breakfast sat on the living room floor while discussing your project. Flash wasn’t the most responsible person ever, but he was by far the best partner you ever had for a project.

However, his comment from earlier made you wonder something. Unable to hold it anymore, you asked, “How did you even know about the dinner?”

“Peter told me,” he answered simply.

“He did?”

“Why are you so shocked?”

You shrugged. “I thought we would wait a little bit longer.”

“Yeah, but it was bound to happen.”

“Don’t,” you warned him.

“Why not? I told you you’d end up having a crush on him.”

“Flaaaaaaaash!”

You hated to prove him right and although this was different, you wouldn’t lie and say Peter wasn’t attractive or crush material.

“Peter’s cool.”

“You don’t have to convince me, I’m already dating him.”

“I’m just pointing out that he’s an upgrade.”

There it was.

Flash took a dislike towards Harry when Harry started dating Liz which was normal because she was his ex, but it turned into vitriol really quickly.

Both Flash and Harry put Peter in an awkward situation the first few months. Now you didn’t know much about it — Harry complained about it with you at first, but he stopped.

“It’s different.”

“That’s the point, isn’t it?”

You frowned, looking into your half-empty cup of coffee.

“I can see through you.”

“Mary Jane told you her theory, didn’t she?”

“She thinks the same?” You nodded. He pensively hummed. “She didn’t tell me, to be honest. I’m only trying to look out for you and Peter.”

“I like him, I don’t know why you think I don’t.”

Flash didn’t spare you as he reminded you, “Because you said the same about your ex.”

“Yeah and look how that went!”

“(Name).”

“What?”

“Stop comparing guys you like to Harry and I promise you things will go well.”

He really could see right through you.

“I’ll stop. I promise.” Not knowing why, you added, “It’s not even that hard, Peter is... Peter. You know what I mean? Like how can you compare him to other people or other people to him?”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Oh no. “Do you like him?” you blurted.

Flash laughed softly. “Not in that way, no.”

“You sure? I don’t want things to be weird.”

“Peter might be handsome and cool,” he admitted, “but we wouldn’t work as a couple.”

“You think Peter and I would?” you incredulously asked.

“You will, yeah.”

You were truly nervous now. Not because of May’s potential questions or because you would have to lie — actually, you didn’t know where the nerves were coming from.

You just knew that Flash’s words resonated with you. He went from hating Peter to being his close friend which in your eyes meant he knew Peter better than anyone.

Did Flash know what Peter was hiding? Perhaps that was what he was alluding to when he assured you Peter and you would work as a couple.

The day went by extremely quickly. You weren’t mentally ready when Flash left or when you were on your way to Peter’s for that matter.

Peter was waiting for you in the lobby with hands in his pockets and shifty eyes.

“Is she like mad or something?” you asked instead of greeting him. You were ten minutes early so tardiness couldn’t be the issue.

He made a face, jerking his head as he gazed at you. He looked confused. “She’s just worried.”

What if she got angry at you when you hadn’t done anything? Peter told you to act normal, but normal you wasn’t madly in love with him.

As you approached the apartment, you found yourself thinking you were either going to ruin this or find out you deserved an academy award.

Peter opened the door and allowed you to come in first. May smiled at you before giving you a side hug in greeting.

“I brought dessert,” you told her as you parted from her.

“Oh, honey, you didn’t have to.”

Okay. Not angry yet.

She placed the dessert onto the table and motioned for you and Peter to sit.

Peter and you grabbed the chair at the same time. He opened his eyes wide, making you withdraw your hands immediately. He took the chair out for you.

Peter could be polite when he wanted, but you were getting worried. Since when did he treat the people he dated like this?

Nonetheless, you sat down.

May didn’t waste time and touched the subject pretty quickly. The moment she served dinner, she said, “I thought Peter was messing with me at first.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” he defended himself.

“Sure you wouldn’t,” she said sardonically.

“I thought he was messing with me when he asked me out, so I get it.”

Peter looked at you in shock and you unconsciously smiled at him.

May cooed. “I don’t understand why you two hid your relationship for months when you’re so cute together.”

“I didn’t want it to be awkward with our friends,” you quickly lied. “What if it didn’t work out or something?”

Your answer would have made sense if your relationship with Peter was real and that would be your strategy from now on. He couldn’t have a secret that would need you to lie that often.

May was so happy with your answers that the conversation deviated from you and Peter to everything but your love life.

You felt a little silly now, having expected the worst when Peter had already told you she was just worried.

He walked you to your car at the end of the night, something you guessed would become a common occurrence.

Things had gone well with May so you had no reason to think things wouldn’t go well with your friends.

You gnawed on the inside of your bottom lip. “Are things going to be awkward now?”

“Between us?”

You nodded. “I mean... saying shit is one thing, but you know...” God, you felt awkward already.

Peter frowned for a moment. “Give me your hand.”

Shifting on your feet, you asked, “You want your hand to be under mine or on top?”

“I don’t mind. You choose.”

You slid your arm under his, opening your palm but not touching him yet. He took the initiative and pressed his hand against yours.

“Is this okay?” he softly asked.

“Yes.”

He intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing a little bit. You huffed a laugh.

“This too?”

You nodded.

“Well, that’s the only thing that’ll change between us. We already hug pretty often.”

Oh, Peter gave the best hugs. Although Gwen was a close second, you preferred his because he was always warm. He also smelled good, but you had to give it to Gwen and admit she did too.

“I’ll see you on Monday, then, boyfriend.”

“Drive safe, girlfriend.” Before you could say anything, he added, “Text me when you get home.” Yet he didn’t let go of your hand immediately.

════════════════════════

Harry didn’t take the news of your relationship with Peter that well. The moment he saw you holding hands, he made his way towards you.

Peter squeezed your hand, easing your nerves. He was there, nothing could go wrong with Peter there.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Harry drily asked you.

“In twenty minutes or so,” you softly answered.

“Well, can I talk to you?”

You turned to Peter, hoping he’d save you from an awkward conversation. Sure, you wanted a reaction from Harry, but not an angry one!

“It’s okay, baby.” Peter kissed your hair as he let go of your hand. “I’ll see you later.”

With a shaky sigh, you motioned Harry to lead the way.

He immediately asked, “Why Peter?”

You stuttered. “I... things just happened.”

“Did they have to happen with my other best friend?”

In a twisted way, they had to. But you couldn’t possibly tell him that. “You didn’t care when Gwen had a crush on him, why is this any different?”

His eyes sharpened. “It just is.”

Many things just were. That didn’t mean anything. You wished you had the courage to reply.

As always, you gave him the upper hand and allowed him to make another question. “It’s not serious, right?”

What were you supposed to say? The thing that’d make him angry or the thing that’d pacify him? How selfish of you to be thinking about making Harry jealous when Peter needed this to be believable.

“It’s too soon to know.”

Harry hummed, softly nodding. “I’ll walk you to your class.”

You frowned. He had never done something like that.

“You’re coming to my birthday party, right?”

You almost tripped as you answered, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Cool. I’ll see you there.”

Thirteen-year-old you was right when she thought boys were confusing, but Harry surely took the cake. You assumed he’d ask you to hang out more often given his reaction, but there he was telling you —on a Monday— that he’d see you on Saturday.

Harry’s attitude soured your entire morning. If classes were already unbearable, he made you want to skip each one of them. Your friends noticed, but nobody said anything.

What a horrible morning and what a horrible week it would be until his stupid birthday party rolled around and you’d have to see him show his girlfriend off.

Your friends decided to go to the coffee shop near campus after class and although you weren’t in the mood for socializing, you would rather suck it up than be by yourself.

Besides, coffee shops were always a good place to do homework and you had quite a few projects accumulated.

Peter rested his head on your shoulder in the same way you always rested yours on Gwen’s. You threw your arm around his shoulders as you rested your eyes.

“Are you getting sleepy?” you whispered in case he was.

“No,” he mumbled. “But I don’t wanna move.”

“I have to pick up my sister from the mall in a couple of hours so you’ll have to.”

He whined.

“Who would’ve thought Peter would be a clingy boyfriend,” Gwen teased.

“Literally anybody who has ever seen him drunk,” Flash continued teasing him.

Peter was red. He shifted, trying to hide his face on your shoulder.

In all honesty, you didn’t mind if he was clingy or not. You had been told you were a little too effusive when it came to affection so you had a soft spot for people who were similar in any way.

You withdrew your arm from his shoulders in order to continue typing on your computer.

Peter went back to his previous position, facing your computer too. “You made a typo,” he told you. “Third line on the second paragraph.”

Mary Jane arrived late and she seemed to be in a bad mood so Gwen made up an excuse in front of your friend group as though she knew something you didn’t —she probably did— and took her home.

Looking at the time, you realized it was time for you to get going too so you started to put your things away.

‘I’m leaving with Flash,” Peter reminded you. “Text me or call me if you need me. I might not answer quickly because we’ll be playing video games but just try for a second time, okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed your forehead. ”Drive carefully.”

You hummed. “Have fun, Pete.”

“You too, baby.”

Your mom didn’t give you many details when she asked you to pick your sister up. You didn’t even know with which friends she was hanging out with or why they were at the mall on a Monday and not somewhere more fun.

There you were, judging her like you hadn’t followed Harry like a puppy when you were her age.

She texted you that she was on her way to the entrance you were waiting at, telling you she had been all the way across.

It was probably a lie, but you’d let it slide.

Your sister tugged the door open and got into the car in silence, putting her cellphone away as she got comfortable.

“Did you have fun?”

She nodded and smiled at you.

You snickered and poked her cheek. “You have dried lipgloss all over your mouth.”

Your sister bashfully looked down.

You handed her a tissue. “Hey, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

She stayed silent for a small moment before worriedly asking, “Are you telling mom and dad?”

“No. But I’d like to know who it was.”

She whined. “Do I really have to tell you?”

You tried to put yourself in her shoes. You didn’t know how embarrassing it would have been for you to talk about your first kiss —or kisses— with a family member because nobody really cared when you started dating classmates.

But it didn’t sound fun so instead, you asked, “Are they your age?”

“Yup ”

“You promise?”

Realizing the question was serious, she nodded for emphasis. “Yes.”

“Cool. That’s all that matters.”

Your dad was home so you were forced to stay for dinner which again, was better than being on your own.

You couldn’t wait to either get together with Harry or over him. As things were going, you could only admit it would be the latter.

“Did your friend have a good birthday?”

Your sister looked at you before answering. “Yeah, we saw a movie.”

“What was the movie about?”

Your dad really tried to get along with both of you, you had to give him that. He was bad at it most of the time, but he tried.

Your phone started ringing. As you stared at the screen, you frowned. Unknown numbers rarely called you.

Hesitant, you answered, “Hello?”

“Hi, (Name),” May tried to speak sweetly. The moment you heard her voice, you stood up from your seat on the couch and left the living room. “Peter isn’t answering his phone, can you put him on the line for me?”

You walked into the adjacent studio, weirded out by her request. “He told you he’d be with me?”

“Isn’t he?”

“He is,” you said hurriedly, “I was just curious.”

“Can I talk to him now?” May laughed nervously.

“He went out to buy food and left his phone here. I’ll tell him to call you as soon as he’s back.”

“Thank you.”

You texted him multiple times as soon as May hung up.

May called. Where are you?

She sounded worried.

I had to lie and say you had gone out to buy food and forgot your phone in case she asks.

Hey.

Pete?

Dude, you’re scaring me.

PETER

Come on

Istg I will lose my shit if you’re messing with me

It’s not funny

You made your way towards the bathroom, needing to splash some water onto your face or something. Anything.

He couldn’t be so immersed in a video game as to not answer multiple calls or texts.

Why would Peter tell May he was with you when he could easily tell her he was with Flash? Was he not at Flash’s anymore?

Perhaps Flash would reply!

You texted him and called him dozens of times before giving up. You didn’t want to think the worst, maybe they were out buying something, but they could be in danger too.

Your hands started shaking pretty quickly when the idea of something happening to him overpowered your thoughts.

You needed to get out of that bathroom and back to the living room where a distraction could meet your anxiety before you went crazy.

So you splashed your face and bolted.

Back in the living room, you caught pieces of your dad’s conversation with your sister. He was boring her with business talk.

You had been in her place many times, and although his tone was more lighthearted with her because the expectations to follow in his footsteps were on you, it was clear he was trying to get her interested in things she didn’t even understand.

Your phone dinged. You immediately looked down.

Pete❤️: I’m okay

What the fuck, Peter?

Where were you?

Busy, sorry.

Did you call May?

Yeah.

Ok.

You didn’t know what else to say. ‘I had a shitty day and you almost gave me a panic attack’ didn’t sound appropriate. It would be truthful, but you couldn’t do that to him.

Where are you?

At my parents’.

He didn’t reply anymore so you locked the device and rested your head on the arm of the couch.

What a fucking day. If your week would be half as exhausting, you were ready to give up on the entire month in advance.

Remembering you were meant to ask if Mary Jane was okay, you unlocked your cellphone again.

As you finished typing your message to Gwen, one from Peter came through.

Can you come out for a few minutes?

Yeah. Give me a moment.

You took a deep breath, fixing your outfit as you slipped your phone into your pocket. You rounded the couch as you attempted to take the path towards the front door.

“Where are you going?” your sister asked.

“Outside. I need to give something to Peter.”

“Don’t take too long,” your dad told you.

You said a meek yes as if you were going to listen to him when you needed to inspect Peter from head to toe just to make sure he was truly okay.

You couldn’t bring yourself to speak as Peter slowly approached you. To his credit, he looked fine so he hadn’t lied.

He spoke first, as he should have, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad,” you mumbled.

He gave you a look.

Clearing your throat, you opened your arms only to slap your hands against your thighs in defeat. “You had me worried sick.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“Are you going to tell me where were you?”

“I can’t.”

You scoffed. “So I have to cover for you without even knowing what the hell I’m covering?”

He whispered your name, placing his hand on your cheek as he tried to make you look at him.

You closed your eyes. “I don’t mind lying for you,” you softly said, meaning it like you had never meant anything else in your entire life. “But don’t I deserve to know why I’m lying?”

He brought you onto his chest, holding you tight against him. “You do deserve to know,” he admitted. “And I’ll tell you everything, but not tonight.”

You were scared to ask why.

════════════════════════

Peter draped his arm over your shoulder, holding you close to him as the two of you stood with your group of friends.

You hadn’t been in that place in a long time but still remembered where every room was. You also knew in which one Harry would fuck Liz at the end of the night.

You took a sip of alcohol. It didn’t taste like much — a bad sign.

Your eyes fell on the beer pong table. A guy you didn’t recognize and Harry were playing against Mary Jane and Flash. That was a bad sign too.

“I’m gonna refill my cup,” you whispered in Peter’s ear, “do you want me to refill yours?”

He shook his head. “I’ve still got plenty.”

It took you a moment to move and he didn’t make a sign to having found it weird.

The kitchen was quieter, not by much but the change was nice. Something you had always disliked about Harry was his taste in music.

You crashed against a thin body.

Liz took you by the waist and you awkwardly placed your hand on her hip, each of you steadying the other. “Sorry,” both of you apologized at the same time.

“I was distracted,” you insisted.

She took her hands off you and you did the same. Liz extended her hand so she could refill your cup for you.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said as she refilled your cup. “Harry thought you wouldn’t come.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “You know how he is.”

You didn’t. Not anymore. You took your cup from her, thanking her before bringing it to your lips.

“Well, we’re all here,” you said in pretended optimism. “And we’re all having fun.”

She smiled, looking as pretty as ever. “Damn right we are!”

You went back to Peter while Liz took off to talk to some of her friends. Once again, he threw his arm over your shoulders, hand almost brushing your chest as it dangled.

Mary Jane was back, bored of playing. Flash asked Peter to team up with him. Peter removed his arm from you, telling you he’d be back.

You focused on Peter as he rolled his sleeves on his way to the table.

Feeling something move in your pocket, you took your cellphone out. Your dad was calling.

“I need to take this call,” you told your friends.

The air was cold in comparison to the inside of the house. You let your dad call again and answered the phone, already expecting some kind of bad news.

To his credit, he sounded disappointed while telling you the plans the family had made for the next day were cancelled. He said your mom was upset.

As a child you often heard excuses for his absence. He was busy, his success depended on sacrifices, he tried his best so you and your sister could have everything you wanted.

Harry always told you to be grateful that you had loving parents. You weren’t sure you had the same definition of love.

You still assured your dad you weren’t angry and promised to spend the day with your mom and sister. His silence as an answer to your offer was a reminder that he didn’t believe you were capable of fixing meaningful problems.

You didn’t show how much it hurt you, there was no point. He meant well, your mom and sister did too.

Leaving the party sounded appealing, but your friends didn’t deserve it. You sucked it up and went back to the house.

Peter and Flash were bumping fists when you approached the area. They had won the game.

You went directly to the couch, not in the mood for dancing. Peter walked towards you, fixing his hair.

Sitting down, he twisted his upper body. “Is everything okay?”

“My dad just cancelled tomorrow’s family plans and said mom’s kinda upset.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“Neither am I.” You changed the subject, “I’m surprised you won that game, though.”

“You don’t have faith in me?”

You swiped your tongue across your bottom lip. “I never said that. But you have to admit you’ve never been one for taking part in games. Last time I saw you play something, you got your ass handed to you by Flash.” Twisting your mouth, you tilted your head. He looked down. “You’ve never played sports, right?”

He didn’t answer.

You insisted, “Right?”

He hummed, nodding at the same time as though it made any sense.

“Were you even listening?”

“No,” he quickly admitted. “Can I kiss you?”

Oh. He had been looking down at your mouth.

He caught you off guard. You couldn’t say no, though, you didn’t want to say no. “Yes,” you answered him.

He started slow and sweet, with his hand on your cheek as the other rested on his lap. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, so you just closed your eyes and kissed him back, following his rhythm.

He slowly build the kiss up, sucking your bottom lip between his. Gripping the front of his sweatshirt, you boldly bit down his bottom lip in return.

Peter wrapped his free arm around you then he brought you closer, flush against him. His tongue tried to pry your mouth open in the exact moment you were about to do the same. Your tongues clashed together and instead of turning it all awkward, it only prompted you to grab him by the hair.

Peter hummed on your mouth and continued kissing you. Now he had both hands on your body, holding you tightly by the waist.

Maybe you could take him to another room, maybe you could feel his hands on you without the burden of your clothes.

His vice grip on you made you feel like floating and you suddenly wondered why you hadn’t made out with Peter before. It didn’t have to be anything serious, it didn’t have to go past messing around.

He was attractive, so were you. Why hadn’t you seen it before? Why had you denied yourself this when he was so good at kissing and his touch was so rough you were sure he would leave marks? And you wanted him to do it, you wanted him to let himself loose on you.

Fuck, you were getting horny over your fake boyfriend.

And as if he knew exactly what was going on inside your hazy mind, he attached his lips to your neck. It was over, you were done — it would be a failure if you didn’t manage to take him to a private room or back to your apartment.

Resting a hand on his thigh as you pushed yourself over, you felt the vibration of his throat as he whimpered while you kissed him.

Something buzzed under your hand, prompting both of you to part. Panting, you stared at each other for a moment. His hair was a mess and he had never looked prettier.

He withdrew a hand from your body to take his cellphone out. You knew the mood had completely been killed when he sighed and locked the device.

“I need to do something,” he announced as he stood up. “I’ll be back.”

What? You didn’t have a chance to react, he just left you there, hot and bothered.

════════════════════════

You padded your way toward the kitchen for the second time since you had gone to bed. Sleep wasn’t necessarily elusive that night, but you found yourself waking up every hour.

Turning the lights on, you looked at the time. Almost 4:00 am. You filled a glass with water and slowly drank it.

You knew the tough day you had with your family was still doing a number on you even though you had left early, you also knew you should have been used to it by now.

Tapping against glass took you out of your mind, bringing you goosebumps. As the sound continued, you realized it was coming from the living room.

You considered going back to your room and locking yourself up which sounded safer, but curiosity overpowered logic.

A figure loomed over the windowpane. You wondered if your mind was tricking you — you lived in the fifth floor.

The figure became clearer as you got closer to the window. You let out a relieved sigh. Spider-Man waved. You tilted your head — why would Spider-Man want to visit you?

Maybe he was hurt and needed help.

You opened the window. “Can I help you?”

He nodded upward, letting you know he needed to come in. You let him, moving to the side.

He took the liberty to close the window once he was inside. You stood before him, assuming he would verbally tell you what he needed.

He wasn’t hurt from what you could see. He walked just fine, his breath wasn’t ragged... You were more confused now.

Reaching to the back of his head, Spider-Man took the mask off. Brown eyes bore into yours.

“You wanted to know what I was hiding...” Peter trailed off.

“You’re joking.”

He stepped closer to you. “I’m not.”

He had to. His sense of humor wouldn’t match a joke like this, but he had to.

The suit didn’t look like a cheap costume, but there had to be another explanation. Yes, it made sense — every time he disappeared out of nowhere and worried you sick, those days he sported black eyes or cuts on his face... but you didn’t want this to be the truth.

You dragged your finger down his arm to feel the texture of the suit.

Peter took a deep breath.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

“It’s okay, baby,” he huskily said. When he got no answer, Peter added, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you baby.”

You inhaled deeply. “I get it, you’re getting used to it.”

He hummed, eyes on you as he sighed.

You placed your hand on his bicep. “Are you okay, Pete? I’m not going to tell anybody if that’s what worries you.”

His hands found their place on your waist. You leaned closer, seeking his warmth. Peter opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it.

He leaned in and kissed you, tentative as he gave you time to push him off you. But you didn’t, why would you?

You ran your hand through his hair as you kissed him back, already familiar with the shape of his lips and the warmth of his mouth.

He pushed you onto the wall as he shoved his tongue inside your mouth. His kiss became sloppy while his hands started wandering down.

He gripped your thighs, bringing your legs up so you’d wrap them around his waist. Both of you ground against the other, sloppily kissing. You could hear the sound your mouths were making and feel his hot breath on your face.

He was driving you crazy.

Peter didn’t stop there. Giving you room to breathe, he lowered his mouth to your neck where he took his time to find your sweet spot.

You felt his fingers up your thigh, where he played with the edge of your sleeping shorts.

He kissed, sucked, and licked his way up to your ear. “Is this okay?”

You hummed against his mouth before kissing him again pawing at his suit, desperate to feel his skin under your fingertips. Frustrated, you broke the kiss. “How do you even take this thing off?”

He chuckled and gave you another kiss. “I’ll teach you.”

“Are you gonna strip for me?” you joked. Why were you making jokes right now?

Peter tilted his head. “Is that what you want?”

The idea wasn’t bad at all, yet you answered truthfully, “I just want to touch you.”

He didn’t deny you anything that morning. You couldn’t remember the last time you enjoyed yourself that much with a sexual partner.

You didn’t leave an inch of his body untouched, relishing in his reactions. He wasn’t ashamed to tell you if he liked something, or to ask you to touch him firmly.

Peter didn’t hold back either. All he wanted was you and you weren’t complaining. He gripped you tightly and sucked on your skin as much as he was able to.

There would be bruises on you by the next day, and there would be scratches on him if his powers didn’t heal him quickly.

You liked this side of him, the side that fucked you into the mattress and groaned above you. He wasn’t scared of breaking you or hurting you — for a moment you wondered how it would feel if he did it.

He came on your belly then cleaned you up afterwards which was more than appreciated. You weren’t even sure you could speak properly when he asked if you needed water.

He brought you a glass either way, of course he did.

The sun was up when you were done, too tired to move and too spent to complain. Peter was back on the bed, warm body pressed against yours.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No,” you tiredly answered. “I’m good.”

He held you tighter, laying his head on your chest.

You lazily dragged your fingers down his spine. “Is everything okay?”

“It was a long night,” he told you in a low voice.

You chose to believe he had visited because he thought you could provide him comfort, and you also decided that you always could — that you were okay with doing so. Even if most things about your relationship were fake, this one didn’t have to be.

════════════════════════

Peter and you never talked about it, and although you would have liked to hear the reasons behind his actions that night, you didn’t need to because it continued happening.

Having sex made pretending easier. He always had an arm around you or a hand on your body around your friends and by now you not only were used to his touch but sought it.

You often woke up next to him, sometimes clothed and sometimes naked. He always woke up before you, but he never left immediately. You wanted to know why.

Flash had been right to assume you’d develop a crush on Peter and now you had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t just a crush anymore.

You worried about him and wanted to be around him every second of every day, you liked hearing him tell you about his classes and his day — you liked that he always asked about yours, that he was willing to drop things for you because you would drop everything to be there for him.

Covering for him became a reflex. You had an inkling that May knew you were lying sometimes, but she never said anything according to Peter.

Your friends were happy with the development of your relationship which would have been lovely if this was real. But now you worried that the supposed breakup would disrupt your friend group.

It was hard not to think about it. The day would surely come and you’d be by yourself most of the time again. As if that was the only problem.

And problems continued rolling onto you. The last person you expected to see was at your door.

Harry gave you a smoldering look as you stood speechless. “Are you letting me in?”

You did.

He sat down on the couch, making himself at home even though he had barely visited your apartment.

“I thought you were sick,” he said in reference to the fact that you cancelled plans with your friends the day before.

“I was busy.”

Disgust contorted his face as his eyes fell on your neck. “Busy fucking my best friend?”

You flinched at his tone.

“I should’ve known you were only spending time with him because you wanted to get him into your bed.”

He said it as though you were the type of person to fuck anybody you met, as though you hadn’t rejected people because they weren’t him specifically.

“Believe it or not,” you coldly lied, “I started dating him months and not days before your birthday. You would’ve known about it if you talked to me.”

“Rubbing it on my face, aren’t you? Do you know how embarrassing it was to hear you were making out with him at my house after I told my friends multiple times that you were off limits?” He was seething, expelling droplets of saliva as he reproached you.

“Why would you do that in the first place? You knew I’d end up dating somebody who goes to the same school as us.”

“Why would you go for my best friend specifically? Don’t you care about my relationship with him?”

“Is this what our friendship has come to be? A reproaching fest?”

“You’re the one who crossed the line.”

“Harry, you didn’t have a problem when half our friend group drooled over him!”

“Because that’s different. I know Peter, he’s not right for you.”

You incredulously scoffed. “Funny how you’re the only one who says that.”

“I’ve never been wrong about the guys you’ve dated.”

Well, you couldn’t argue against that. But Flash was right, those guys hadn’t been the problem — the fact that you compared them to Harry was.

“Let time prove either of us right.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“What?”

“You promised nobody would ever be more important than me.”

You both promised a lot of things as kids... that you would never bring dates to an event you could attend together, that you would attend the same college, that you would be part of the same friend group your entire lives, that you would tell each other everything...

“I’m not saying Pete is more important than you, I’m j—“

“Break up with him, then.”

“You’re making it sound like I have to choose between you and him.”

“Because you have to.” When he didn’t get an answer, he added. “I’ll give you time to think it through.”

You wanted to do anything but think. You wanted to have your best friend back — you didn’t care if he was jealous anymore, you never should have. You weren’t Liz, it was okay, he liked her and you liked somebody else.

“Harry, come on...”

But Harry walked himself out and forced your words to die in your throat.

You never thought he would be as angry as you wanted him to be. You got your anger and your jealousy and your dilemma. He had it all clear, you were the idiot who had to get into this mess.

A shower and a portion of your comfort food later, you decided that you couldn’t be inside your head right now and left your apartment.

It was drizzling. Such a perfect weather to be inside doing everything or nothing alike.

You loved being by yourself at your place. The plan for the day had been just that. But as always, Harry made you change them.

Chastising yourself for forgetting your phone at home, you knocked on the door in front of you.

The door opened and you were greeted with a smile.

You wished you could’ve smiled back. “Hi, May, is Peter home?”

She motioned for you to come in. “He’s in his room. Do you want something to drink?”

“Not now, thank you.”

You knocked on his door, hoping he would answer before May could tell something was wrong with you.

Peter yelled for you to come in. You were an idiot, he probably had heard you talking to his aunt.

Pushing the door open, you stuck your head in. “It’s me,” you softly said just to make sure you had his permission to come in.

“Come in, baby.”

God, not that pet name. Not now.

You closed the door behind you before facing him. He was sat at his desk, writing something down on a notebook as he looked at the computer screen.

Approaching him, you leaned in to see what he was doing. You didn’t understand much of it, science was his thing.

He rotated the chair to face you. “What’s up? You didn’t text me...”

“Forgot my phone at home.”

Peter frowned and dropped his pen on top of the notebook before standing up to move towards his bed. “Are you alright?”

Did you look that bad? You weren’t wearing makeup, but he had seen your bare face plenty of times to be weirded out.

“Can I have a hug?”

Now sat on the bed, Peter opened his arms and legs so you’d make yourself at home between them.

And you did. You hugged yourself to him as tightly as you could, afraid he would let go at any moment.

He didn’t let go, you should have known he wouldn’t — your mind was playing tricks with you, that was it.

“What happened? Why are you upset?”

You didn’t have the heart to tell him. Not yet, not when you were scared he would cut you off from his life just because Harry thought it was for the best.

“Had a long day yesterday and didn’t want to be alone today,” you mumbled.

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” he offered. “I’ll let you pick which one we watch while I go get some snacks.”

You whined. “I don’t wanna move.”

“It’s just like ten minutes. We’ll cuddle the entire runtime.”

“You promise?”

He kissed your forehead. “I promise.”

It amazed you how easy it was to trust him, to like him, to want to be with him no matter the moment or the activity.

It took you longer to pick a movie than it took him to come back. You didn’t want any snacks, but you still took them because you didn’t want him to worry too much.

You would worry on your own later.

Peter hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. His hands rested on your belly as he watched the movie, giving you butterflies every time he laughed against your skin.

How were you supposed to give this up when it felt so good?

════════════════════════

Mary Jane sat across from you, playing with the glass between her hands. She was listening to you, but by the way she was tapping her fingers against the glass, she was dying to interrupt.

You went on and on because you still couldn’t believe Harry would make you choose between him and somebody else. It didn’t even make sense when he had thrown you and Peter to the side when he started dating Liz.

When her time came, Mary Jane spoke, “You shouldn’t care about what Harry says.”

“I care more about the fact that I ran to Peter like a fucking idiot.”

“He’s your boyfriend.”

You knew she was trying to be the voice of reason, but no, he wasn’t. That made it worse. “But doesn’t it make it look like I already chose?”

“Kinda,” she conceded. “But that’s not a bad thing necessarily.”

“Harry and I grew up together.”

“And Peter fucks you stupid. They have different roles in your life.”

You remained silent. Your cup was already empty and you didn’t need more caffeine. In fact, a soothing tea would have been a better choice — you needed to drive after this once your sister was done with her friends.

“Do you still like Harry or something? I will kill you if you say yes.”

You got that from her tone, she didn’t have to tell you. “I don’t know.”

“But you like Peter more... Right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Maybe liking was selling it short at this point.

Peter didn’t make you choose, and if anything between you were real he wouldn’t make you choose either. You were so sure that you would’ve bet your own life on it.

That fact was a problem. Why couldn’t Harry be like Peter?

“Maybe I need another opinion,” you mused out loud.

“Gwen will tell you the same.”

“What about Flash? Maybe if he had all the details...”

“Flash will try to convince you to kill Harry in his sleep.”

“You think so?” Of course he would, but you were desperate.

“He’s team Peter all the way. Honestly, I would think they have something going on if Peter wasn’t so into you.”

You avoided looking at her. “What should I do?”

“What do you want?”

“Just... I don’t know. About what? From what?”

“Do you want to choose?”

“No.”

“You could choose neither of them.”

“But—“ You shook your head.

“No, say it.”

“I can’t.”

Mary Jane wouldn’t pressure you to talk, she wasn’t that kind of person.

“At least tell Peter about it before Harry does,” she advised.

“I’ll tell him once I’m done here.”

It was late when your sister met you at your table. Mary Jane had left two hours earlier and you had even entertained yourself looking around a few stores and come back.

You drove in silence, allowing her to talk if she wanted to. Maybe asking something would’ve been better, but you didn’t have the energy to find out who your sister was dating or why she had decided to hide it.

Enough was already on your plate, and you needed to trust her, unlike your parents.

Stopping the car, you waited for her to get inside. Your mom hurried outside the moment she opened the door and walked towards your car.

She made you a sign with her hand, asking you to roll the window down.

With a sigh, you indulged her.

“Dinner tomorrow,” she drily told you. “You should bring Peter, I think it’s time your dad meets him.”

“Mom, I’m not marrying him or something like that.”

“I don’t care. Bring him.”

Great. Another fucking problem you had to deal with now. Your dad had always been clear on the type of person he wanted for you and Peter was not it. A shame, really.

“I’ll ask if he isn’t busy,” you compromised.

She looked happy with that. Your mom wished you a good night and turned around. You watched her get inside the house, wondering if she truly wanted you there the next day or not. You never knew with her.

You didn’t get to talk to Peter that night. Instead of telling him you wanted to see him so you could talk in person, you told him your parents wanted to have dinner with him.

Peter said yes immediately and asked about the dress code. God, you didn’t even want to think about clothes.

And with good reason — it wasn’t fair that everything suited him. There was no color or style Peter couldn’t pull off.

But it was probably for the best, he’d make a good impression that way.

You wanted your dad to like him and your sister to trust him and your mom to laugh at his lame jokes. You wanted them to see the person you desperately wanted to be in your life until your last day alive.

Truthfully, you didn’t care if he had feelings for you like you did for him. You enjoyed being around him, his friendship was enough.

The surprise the two of you got when Norman and Harry stood up to greet you was extremely hard to hide.

Norman gave you and Peter a warm smile. “I told Harry to bring his girlfriend, but he didn’t listen to me.”

You shifted on your feet, using Peter as leverage to ground yourself by squeezing his fingers between yours.

Your mom smiled tightly. “Next time it will be.”

Much like Flash did with you, Norman talked wonders about Peter to your parents.

You avoided looking at Harry with the pretense of being polite by gazing at whoever was speaking. Such gesture didn’t sit well with him and he showed it by standing up and walking towards you.

Harry inhaled deeply. “Can we talk in private?”

Unconsciously, you turned to look at Peter. He patted your thigh in encouragement.

“Sure,” you feigned enthusiasm.

You walked across the house in silence, wishing he would tell you to forget about what he said before.

Harry stared at you as you looked around the backyard. Not only were you avoiding speaking first, but you were confused as to when the lighting fixtures had been changed.

The spot you were awkwardly standing at had witnessed many secrets being exchanged between you. Perhaps it would be witness and accomplice of your fallout too.

“So you’ve made your choice.”

“Harry...”

His furious eyes bored into yours. “Why the fuck did you bring him?”

“I wanted to,” you confessed. “Mom told me I should and I agreed.”

“We never bring dates tho dinners like these. We promised,” he reminded you.

“He’s not just a date, this is different.”

“I didn’t invite Liz because I keep my promises.”

“You didn’t invite Liz because you didn’t want to.” You hated that he couldn’t own up to his mistakes with her when he loved her so much. “Stop holding a stupid promise I made when I was six against me.”

“You wouldn’t have liked it if I brought her here while you were single.”

“You stopped talking to me the moment you started dating her. I would’ve expected it.”

“So you went and tricked my best friend into a relationship.”

Was that he thought about you? That you manipulated or forced people to be around you?

“Your best friend? You barely talk to him anymore, Harry. And don’t you dare tell me it’s Liz’s fault.”

He ignored your first comment. “Now I will get in trouble with her for not taking her here if she sees pictures.”

“Call her and tell her the truth. Or blame me, I don’t care.”

“It is your fault,” he bitingly said, “you brought him to something special for us.”

“I didn’t even know you’d be here! And honestly, you should be happy for me.”

“I would be if he wasn’t my best friend.”

“Again with that...” You sighed, hoping you could find the right words. “I don’t want to choose, Harry, and it fucking hurts that you from all people are putting me in this situation God knows why.”

“I’ve told you before, it’s because Peter is—“

You interrupted him, “Peter being your best friend doesn’t matter, he’s not going to drop you like you dropped us.”

“I know I dropped you for a while, but Liz needed my attention.”

You didn’t blame him for focusing more on her, or for wanting to spend most of his time with her, but you knew for a fact that Liz made time for her friends; Harry could’ve done the same.

You started tearing up There was the problem, Harry couldn’t make time for you or Peter or Gwen even when he was free.

Harry stammered, but not a single word came out of his mouth after that. It only made you cry harder. Did he not care even a little bit?

“I’ll give you a moment alone,” he finally mumbled.

You walked further down the backyard, cursing yourself for crying and for wearing uncomfortable shoes. You were supposed to look pretty and taller, not to ruin your makeup and walk around furniture and plants.

You sat on the couch before deciding to lay down on your side. You used to do that when you were a kid too. You’d wait for the pool to be ready in that position and you would lay on your back when you wanted your mom to ask if something was wrong.

Right now, you weren’t sure what you wanted. You definitely didn’t want to talk to whoever the approaching steps belonged to.

You still looked up as a figure stood before you.

Peter crouched down and reached over to wipe your tears. The gesture made more tears come out.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, placing a hand on your waist and slipping his other hand to your back to make you sit up. He sat down beside you. “Come here.”

Peter brought you closer, making you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t understand why he’s making me choose between you and him,” you lamented.

“He is?”

Fuck. You had assumed Harry had told him and that was why he was there. “I didn’t know how to tell you...”

Humming, he rubbed your arm up and down. “You can tell him the truth if you want.”

You lifted your head off his shoulder, searching for his eyes. He didn’t seem to mean it in a bad way. You shook your head.

“Are you sure? I can tell him if you want.”

“It would be pointless.”

“I don’t like seeing you cry.”

“We should change the subject then.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just...” Peter pursed his lips, second-guessing his next words. “It pains me to see you upset.”

“Peter,” you pleaded, “don’t do this to me.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You’re making everything more difficult than it already was.”

He slanted his head, taken aback. “Because I care about you?”

“Because I think I’m in love with you.”

Peter blinked rapidly before his eyes started dancing all over your face as though he was waiting for you to say something else.

But you didn’t have much to say anymore. All your cards were on the table. Although you had to admit his lack of response would drive you insane if he continued looking at you like that.

“You don’t have to say anything,” you lied. “I’m okay with being just friends. I just thought you should know.”

“No, no, no.” He shook his head, taking himself out of his self-absorption. “I feel the same, I promise! But... I don’t want to ruin your friendship with Harry.”

“So you’re making me choose too?”

“No. I just don’t want you to regret being in a real relationship with me because you lost your best friend.”

“It wouldn’t be your fault.”

“Yeah, you’re right...” Peter looked up at the sky and huffed a laugh.

You mirrored his movement. The sky was clear, allowing you the privilege to gaze at the stars.

“Remember that night I walked you to your place and we stopped in the middle of the street to look at the stars?”

You giggled. You had been on the verge of crying that night after Harry ditched you for Liz if it hadn’t been because Gwen distracted you. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Should I have kissed you that night?”

You weren’t sure, it was hard to know if you would’ve kissed back or not. You wanted to believe you wouldn’t have, but who knew. “Does it matter?”

“No.” Peter twisted his body and cupped your cheek so you’d look at him. You softly smiled at him and he gave you a small kiss. “Not anymore.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x plus size reader #peter parker

[justoneofthoseghosts]

invite me + brettsey

“You seem chipper.”

“Chipper?” Matt echoes from his place crouched down in front of the cabinet he was fixing for his sister.

Christie nods, “yeah, like less broody.”

“When have I ever been broody?” Matt asks indignantly.

Christie gives him a look.

“Okay, maybe a little sometimes,” he concedes.

“Sometimes is putting it lightly,” Christie quips as he approaches him and examines his work, "you were born broody, Matt.”

She observes quietly as he continues in his task, making sure he screws the hinges on tightly. After a few minutes of silence, Christie speaks again.

“So who is she?” Christie inquires, a curious tone evident in her voice.

Matt stops what he’s doing and looks up at her, “does it have to because of somebody? Can’t it be that I’m just happy to spend some quality time with my sister who guilt tripped me into coming here because we haven’t seen each other for a month?”

‘No, not really,” Christie comments, shrugging.

Matt rolls his eyes. He’s keeping his mouth shut for now because he and Sylvie have only been together for three months or so. The last thing he wants is to subject her to all of Christie’s questioning.

“If you’re not going to talk and I’ll have to guess,” Christie states.

Matt scoffs, “have at it.”

Christie narrows her eyes at him before comprehension dawns on her features, “it’s that blonde paramedic, isn’t it? Brett! That’s her name right?”

Matt drops the screwdriver and stares at his sister with his mouth agape.

Christie grins in triumph, “women are far more observant than men are. I remember you introduced me to her the last time I stopped by the firehouse and the way you were looking at her? Please. Dead giveaway.”

“Fine,” Matt says, “yes, we’re dating and yes, it’s been going well and her name is Sylvie, by the way. Is there anything else you want to know?”

“Not really. I just love it when I’m right,” Christie points out before turning to exit the basement and head back upstairs leaving Matt to finish his work.

A few days later, Matt receives a text from Christie trying to schedule family dinner for the following week when Violet is home from college. She hints at wanting to meet Sylvie but Matt is on the fence about it.

He texts Christie back saying he’ll think about it but Christie is not having it. She informs him that if he won’t ask Sylvie, she’ll do it herself.

Big sisters are mean no matter how old both of you are, Matt thinks.

Matt doesn’t want to call Christie’s bluff so he just decides to wait for a good time to ask Sylvie.

Christie continues to text him. He’s been dodging her calls but he can’t stop her from sending messages and constant ping of his phone is beginning to annoy him.

Two days later, Matt finally snaps from the barrage of texts and asks Sylvie while they’re doing the dishes after dinner at her apartment.

“Hey, you free next Friday?”

Sylvie laughs, “let me consult my day planner.”

Matt waits for her to check her schedule not getting that she was teasing him.

She raises an eyebrow, “that was a joke in case you didn’t know.”

“Oh.”

“What’s up with you? You seem a little tense” Sylvie wonders.

“You remember how I went over to Christie’s last week?” Matt asks.

Sylvie nods, “yeah.”

Matt clears is throat before he continues, “well, she kind of cornered me and asked if I was seeing somebody.”

“Okay,” Sylvie replies, looking at him expectantly.

“Long story short, she wants to invite you to dinner next Friday but only if you’re comfortable, of course. I can always tell her no. I don’t know where we’ve landed yet when it comes to meeting the family,” he admits rather nervously before glancing at Sylvie.

She looks at him with understanding in her eyes, “of course I’d love to meet Christie. She’s your family, Matt, and honestly, my parents have been kind of bugging me about meeting you too.”

“You’ve told your parents about me?” he asks in awe.

Sylvie bites her lip, “I have.”

“All good things I hope?” Matt jokes.

Sylvie wipes her hands on a dish towel and wraps her arms around his waist.

“Only the best,” she confirms.

Matt smiles before kissing the top of her head. He’s been spinning out about asking Sylvie but he should have known not to worry that she would think to to soon or too fast. They’ve spent two years trying to get to each other that sometimes, everything else seems like warp speed.

“I’d love to meet your parents too,” he whispers.

Sylvie chuckles, “you sure you’re ready for all the Bretts to get together in one room and grill you?”

“Bring it on,” Matt says confidently.

He doesn’t take meeting parents lightly but he’s also somewhat excited to get to know the people who raised Sylvie and helped shape her into the incredible woman she is today.

After dinner at Christie’s, his sister pulls him aside.

“I love her,” Christie remarks, smiling at Matt.

“Thanks, I do too,” he teases.

Christie swats him in the arm, “better hold on to her then because if you ever let her go, I know a few men who’d sell their homes just to date someone like her.”

Matt looks at his sister, his mouth curving up, “you don’t have to worry, Christie. I’m never letting her go.”

To think he almost ruined it all. Thankfully, everything fell into place.

#chicago fire #brettsey #fanfic prompt

[theartofdreaming1]

Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.” 

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of  competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have 

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been! 

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. -  Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #hunger games #thg meta #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #gale hawthorne #my sketches and drawings #thg fanart #catching fire

[extremelyblackandwhite]

into the woods

PAIRING: alpha!bucky barnes x innocent omega!reader

WARNINGS: age gap (reader in her 20′s, bucky in his mid to late 30′s), smut, a/b/o dynamics

A/N: this has some acotar vibes because i was reading it while writing this but i hope you enjoy it. have fun xx

The High Lady of the North, is what they called her, or at least what they refered her. to whenever they spoke of her as seeing the daughter of one of the most powerful men in all the land was a rare sight. Those who knew her, knew her from her time at school and those who didn’t merely gossiped about her. They knew what she was, an omega, the first omega born in a family of alphas who had ruled over the land for centuries. Her birth had been celebrated as a gift to fertility yet, the most desired omega in all of the land was yet to participate in one of the Spring Celebrations where omegas going through their first heat would be chased by eager alphas into the woods. Y/N absolutely hated the mere idea of being thrown around like a piece of meat for alphas to go after and she was thankful that as years went by no sign of a heat was yet to come. Servants at the mansion would comment maybe she was an infertile omega while some commented she was merely buying her time. However, despite all those comments and all those titles thrown at her by people who did not know her, one person did know the reason why the omega High Lady was kept apart from everyone else. That person was James Barnes, Bucky for short. He, like everyone who surrounded her was an Alpha yet his task was merely to look after her whenever she wanted to venture around, not that she enjoyed to be out of her little walls for long.

He was quiet, a far cry from how loud every Alpha she knew was yet in his quietness and lonely demeanor, he had a power that kept everyone else at arms’ length. He wasn’t a brashy young Alpha who couldn’t control his nature, no, his inner wolf was always restrained with just enough of a facade that kekpt everyone else away. No one dared defy James Barnes unless they wanted to be beat to a pulp. That reputation had earned him a reputation which led to the job he had occupied for the past 3 years, starting during her 20th birthday. It hadn’t taken him too long to grow attached to her and her little quirks. Yet again, he was an alpha and she was an omega so he guessed biology played a role in it. 

She herself wasn’t much of a outgoing omega, instead keeping to herself with her piles of books and flowers. However, recently, she was even more hidden from everybody, staying in her room covered by her blankets and vanilla candles and god blessed anyone who attempted to bother her. As the days went by, it became perfectly clear to everyone what was happening; the 23 year old omega was starting her heat. 

     - I don’t need to be coddled! - she snapped at Bucky as he stood by her side. He wasn’t closer than he usually was, actually, he was even trying to keep his distance. Despite his control, he knew how strong first heats were and he knew how easily they could trigger a rut even in the most experienced Alpha. However, he couldn’t help but find it amusing how irritableshe was. 

     - I’m sorry, m’lady. - he chuckled. 

     - You find it funny? - she crossed her arms, cocking her head to the side in a menancing manner; yet, she merely looked like an upset child in that ridiculous periwinkle dress. - I’m to be bait for horny alphas and you think it’s funny. 

    - You’re being overdramatic, you’re not going to be bait. Everybody does it.

    - You didn’t do it.

    - I’m not an Omega. 

    - You didn’t join the other alphas either. - she noted, continuing her distance from him. - It’s sexist!

    - No one is going to touch you if you don’t allow it. You can’t force a mating bond onto someone, m’lady.

    - Call me m’lady one more time. - she rolled her eyes. 

    - Sorry, Y/N. - he smiled and she couldn’t help but forgive him and he couldn’t help but not take it seriously. He knew she wasn’t sleeping, way too overwealmed by pre-heat and preparations for it. Just last night he’d seen her carrying more pillows into her bedroom along with a full supply of food. - You still remember how to mask your scent?

    - Yes. 

    - Then they won’t even be able to detect you. They’re young alphas and will go for the omegas whose scent is stronger, you’ll most likely spend the night by yourself. 

The two continued to walk past the meadows, her eyes never leaving the woods close to her childhood home where she was certain to be thrown into the next night. She wondered if Bucky was right and that would be enough. Maybe he was right about forcing mating bonds but she knew they could force something else ... she wasn’t naive. 

    - You’ll be okay. - he reassured, noticing how lost in thought she was. - I’d never let them harm you.

    - You think I’ll smell bad? - she changed the topic.

    - No. - he chuckled at her question. - Omegas always smell sweet. Haven’t meet an Omega who didn’t. 

    - Even the one you brought to your room last week? - he had unbelievable control but he was still an Alpha and a very desirable one. While he’d gotten used to having a few ruts every year, lately it appeared as every month he was going into ruts and after an Alpha goes into rut, well, they need to mate. He expected her not to have noticed, her room was very far removed from everyone else’s, standing in the highest floor, far removed from every Alpha and Beta in the house. Yet, he should’ve known how attentive she was, how observant, how no detail went unnoticed. 

   - I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble.

   - You didn’t. - she didn’t look at him, continuing her walk around the gardens of the grounds she had grown up with. Roses of various colours were starting to bloom once again, creating a palette of soft hues which reminded her of soft spring paintings which hanged in the big halls of the old house. - They’re expecting me to find one, you know, a mate. They say they’re not but I know they are. 

   - Y/N ...

   - You could go. - she argued, the same thing she’d been trying to convince him for the past days. - If you go, no other Alpha will try to even go after me.

   - I’m too old for even participate in those things, besides you can take care off yourself. 

She decided not to rattle him, childish crushes set aside, she knew he could be the one to keep every other young and power hungry Alpha away from her but Bucky was a hard one to convice. He was in his mid thirties and despite his good looks, he remained unmated, mostly hanging around with Omegas and Betas whenever his ruts were particularly bad. Staff would tell her he probably had no mate due to his actions in the war years ago, but Y/N didn’t really believe them. Nevertheles, he remained set in stone in the idea of not even attending the event, always saying “An Omega’s first heat close is way too dangerous”. She’d always retort if it was dangerous then he should be the one to protect her, yet he shrugged it off. So, she was once again back in her own and as the hours passed faster and faster, she found herself staring at her own reflection dressed in white. The same features as her mother’s stared back at her, yet she was no Alpha woman and her own biology reminded her. Her skin was starting to boil hot, a reminder of what was yet to come. She hoped it wasn’t as bad, she hoped she could bathe in the river coursing through the woods for the evening.

She emerged from her house, walking up hill just to beginning of the the woods. Several other new omegas were around, much younger than her, eager to take this new step and find their omega. Y/N, on the other hand, felt like this was merely another joke from the world yelling in her face that she was an omega. She, the daughter of an Alpha leader, the lady who’d inherit all the estate including the woods, the High Lady of the North, was an omega. There was only one reason why they were excited about a heat, it meant she could produce children, alpha children to continue the bloodline. She was merely a dark weak branch in the tapestry of her family. Her eyes scanned the Alphas who were about to participate, no Bucky in sight. She didn’t know why she had hope he’d come. Part of her understood it was dangerous, after all Bucky was fresh out a rut, his rut having started around the time her pre heat started so it was no good to have him around. Nevertheless, she wanted him here. Her hands clutched the lotion Bucky had given him as she ran into the woods with the other omegas, their white dresses disappearing into the dark green. 

Bucky watched her from the crowd which had gathered to see the High Lady’s first attempt of a Spring cerimony. They clearly had nothing better to do, he thought to himself. How come her heat was that important? She was still a bright, intelligent woman who no question would well suceed her father as leader of the North court. 

     - You think she’ll come out mated? - one of the maids who’d come to see the spring cerimony asked.

     - Don’t think she wants to. - he commented, mostly out of politeness. The last thing he wanted was a rookie Alpha laying a claim on his omega. 

     - I surely hope so. We were so blessed when her pre-heat started so sudden 5 nights ago.

    - I thought it didn’t start up to 3 days ago. 

    - No, it was definetely 5 nights ago.

Shit.

Y/N continued to run through the woods, rubbing the lotion onto her scent glands in her wrists and junctures between the neck and shoulders. However, no matter how much her mind wanted to keep running, the heat was starting to overtake her and her legs were growing weaker and weaker until she tumbled onto the ground. Her head hit the ground, her eyes looking onto the stary sky as she heard the sounds of mating and footsteps. She just knew it was only a mere of time til someone found her and took her, but they only never be her alpha. No, it wasn’t the alpha she wanted. 

She clenched onto the locket which was the only relief against her own skin, praying she could gain some strength to get up and continue to run. She didn’t want this, she didn’t want any of the alphas she’d seen. They weren’t her alpha. They’re not alpha, her mind yelled at her. They’re not Bucky. 

The footsteps got louder and she reached for a sharp rock, preparing herself for whoever attempted to go after her. However, the person who emerged was someone who she had not expected. Standing away from her was Bucky, breath ragged and sweat covered forehead. Once his eyes set on her, his nostrils flared and he took a step back, faltering in his movements. 

    - Yo...you scared me. - she hiccuped, trying to move from the floor. 

    - Why aren’t you wearing the lotion, omega? - he’d never called her omega, he’d never dare to call his lady anything other than what she wished, yet Y/N couldn’t complain about being called omega by him.

    - I am. - ever the argumentative, she showed him the empty tin of lotion yet Bucky could still smell her, and how fucking sweet did she smell. - Bucky, I don’t feel good. 

     - Shit ... - he shut his eyes. Control yourself, he told himself over and over again, but her scent was just intoxicating. It filled every single sense, every crock of his brain, telling him to take her, to take his omega, the same omega that was laying on the ground. The omega whose mere pre-heat had trigged his rut.   

    - Bucky ... - she clenched her stomach. It was bad, very bad. Her skin felt like it was burning and her inner thighs were starting to get wet due to the slick which just kept appearing. She didn’t kknow what to do, no one had told her what a heat felt like, no one had told her how to calm down. Looking at Bucky only made it worse, her mind yelling at her to be near him but his eyes were clear, don’t get close. - Alpha, please. 

That name. Being called by his title by her of all people made him want to take her right there. No matter how hard he tried that’s all he could see in his head, making her feel better, knot her. 

    - It hurts. - she cried out. - I don’t know what to do.

She had heard from other maids who were omegas what to expect but she didn’t exactly know what to do. She was an omega in a family of Alphas; her father was an alpha, her mother was an alpha and so had their parents. She was the first omega to be born and it wasn’t her parents didn’t care about her they just didn’t know how to exactly raise an omega. It didn’t particularly help that she didn’t act like a stereotypical omega, or what an alpha family expected, so she was treated no different. Bucky also didn’t think her family talked much about mating; she was a high lady after all, the one who’d continue the family line. He wanted to help her, he really did but everytime he looked her, his inner wolf wanted nothing to but to lay his claim on her. 

His mind was overwhelmed with thoughts of helping her clashing with doing what’s best for her. Bucky, an old alpha, definetely was not the best for her and he wasn’t fit to be the mate of the high lady, he wasn’t fit to be anyone’s alpha much less someone’s mate. 

    - I want it to stop. - she took him of his thoughts. In the absence of his attention, she’d managed to lean against a tree, her hands pulling at her dress, attempting to get some cold air.

    - Not gonna stop for three days. - his voice was lower and she couldn’t help but feel entranced by him. She’d never seen him like this, acting like a pure alpha whose voice dripped dominance. His eyes shut again as her smell surrounded him once more. God, why did she smell so good? 

    - Make it stop. - she begged him. Him, out of all alphas, some sons of high lords themselves and here he was, the lower of the lowest born alphas. - Alpha.

    - Don’t call me alpha. - he would lose it if she called him alpha even just one more time. He was barely keeping himself away from her, despite how much he wanted her. God, he wanted her. He’d always wanted her. The other alphas weren’t enough, no one would ever be enough for her. 

His mind race with ways to help her. He could always try to lead her out the woods through the other side and sneak her back into her nest so she could go through her heat away from any eager alphas; yet, he doubted she could walk much at this moment and carrying her was not an option, not when she’d be so close to him, her skin touching his would end it for him. Yet again, he’d rather be damned than not help his Y/N. He couldn’t bare having her go through this when she didn’t want to. She deserved better than this, she deserved all the choices that were offered to her ancestors, no matter what biology dictated. Bucky would rather watch the world burn than to let her go through this a second longer. 

With his mind set on taking her back to his bedroom, he told himself he could control himself. He was in his thirties, he’d had ruts before and he could conttrol himself. He took a deep breathe in before getting up and walking up to her. Her scent got stronger and stronger but his mind wanted her well, wanted her to be completely and fully happy. The alpha put his arms around her and picked her up, her legs dangling from the his arms. Intuitively, her nose rubbed against the scent gland on his neck. Her body slightly cooled down and she cuddled against him, happily surrounded by the scent of pinewood and ash dust. Despite her being much calmer, he himself could feel his blood boil. Her scent was starting to morph with his and all he could think about was her being absolutely owned by him. Yet, he had to keep those thoughts quiet. This was his lady after all and he owned her vasalage. 

The night had dawned in and the once familiar woods were dark, filled with noises he knew too well and the sound of the creek passing by. He held her close to him, attempting to make his way through the darkness and out of the woods. A sudden noise had him stopping in his tracks. She looked up at him, with those eyes which just screamed trust within him, and a feeling of overwhelming possesiveness took control of him. He held her tight against his chest as his eyes zoomed onto the figure which made their way straight at them. He knew him. He was the son of a lord ruling over the south and Bucky absolutely hated him. He’d heard way too much about the young alpha to want him to stay away from his omega. 

   - Evening, m’lady. - he looked at Y/N, completely ignoring Bucky. She rolled her eyes, gripping Bucky’s shirt as much she could. - Bought Barnes with you?

   - Move along, Michael. She’s not interested. 

   - I didn’t know you spoke for her now. - he took slow steps towards them, stalking them like a predator to a prey. - Unless you’re thinking about taking her just for yourself. 

   - Go away. - Y/N managed to speak through her heat, although even speaking made her uncomfortable. 

   - You stink, Barnes. - he snickered. - Yet again an omega in heat and an alpha in rut is never a good match is it?

   - It’s none of your business. 

   - If you change your mind m’lady, just let me know. - he winked at Y/N before disappearing into the greenery. 

Bucky’s eyes grew darker, his insticts taking more and more of his thought process. He wanted to hurt him for even daring looking into his omega’s way but her mewling had him back on his mission to take her back to her bedroom, back to her nest.

Y/N, however, had her eyes set on Bucky. Was he on his rut? He didn’t look like he was on a rut and she had grown up in an house of alphas. She knew what a rut looked like and she knew no omega wanted to be near an alpha in rut. But Bucky wasn’t acting domineering, he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t making advances, he was just stoic. Maybe she wasn’t enough of an omega for him, people always told her she wasn’t enough of an omega. She wasn’t enough for him. He probably looked at her like a silly rich omega and the mere thought of it made her heart ache.

   - What’s wrong? - he stepped outside the dense greenery, seeing her house in the horizon. 

   - Is Michael right? Are you on your rut? - Bucky was pensive for a while. He didn’t want to scare her but he also didn’t want to lie to her. - I thought your rut was finished.

   - Got triggered. - he replied. - I’m not gonna hurt you, I’d never hurt you.

   - Does it hurt? 

   - Not my first rut, sweetheart. 

   - Is it because I’m not a good omega? - he snapped his head towards her harshly. No, his mind yelled out, you’re my omega how could you not be the only thing in this whole world which was good and bright. - Am I just not enough?

   - What are you talking about, sweetheart? You’re being delirious.

   - I know how alphas act around omegas, any omega. - he grip grew loose on his shirt as she looked down, unable to look at him. - Am I just ... not enough?

   - Y/N ...

   - You don’t need to sugar coat it for me. Nobody wants me. My parents didn’t want an omega, no one wants me to rule and not even the type of person biology dictated would want me wants me. 

   - You think I don’t want you? - his eyes grew dark, the baby blues replaced by dark blue all consuming. - You’re all I fucking think about ever since I met you. Ruts without you are a fucking nightmare because all I keep thinking is to find you and mate you. You’re my only omega. 

   - Then why won’t you mate me?

   - I’m not good enough for you. 

   - You’re my alpha. It hurts whenever you bring another omega to your room because all I want to do is be your omega and now, now you’re pushing me away. You don’t want me just like everybody else.

   - Don’t you dare say that. - ever. - Don’t you dare ever tell me I don’t want you.

   - Then do something about it.

She was just being defiant now, a sparky little omega. One of the many qualities which he adored about her; yet again he loved everything about her. He knew she was his omega, she had triggered his rut way too easily and based on the timing of his last rut and her pre-heat it wasn’t stupid to assume he’d triggered hers. Nevertheless, he was not the right person for her. She already had a tough time trying to get people to take her seriously as high lady, if she sported his mark on her lovely neck, it’d only make it harder. He wasn’t a particularly good partner to have, much less for a high lady. Nevertheless, those words stroke a chord on him. How dare she think she was not enough? Looking back at her, he could see it clear as day, the heartbreak scetched onto her lovely features. His instincts finally got the upper hand over his better consciousness and suddenly his lips were on hers. Strawberry laced flavours had him growling for more, for her body yearning for him and then the innocent kiss started to descend as he tasted her skin. 

His touch was soft and rough at the same time yet all she could think of was of him, having him. Her alpha. Her skin grew hot and cold in waves, his touch alone making slick run down her legs. 

   - You want this, omega? - he nipped at her scent gland in her neck. - You gotta tell me.

   - Please, Alpha. 

She leet out a small moan as he pushed her dress up, his fingers wandering close to her core as his lips kissed her skin leisurely. She wanted him, she wanted him so badly. His knee lodged between her legs, close to her pulsating core as he laid her down on the grass. She looked tempting, like a gift wrapped in white tafeta. How could he say no to her? How could he say no to his omega? He looked at her with lust filled eyes, head cocked to the side before leaning down to place a slow kiss on her lips, his hand massaging her breast, thumb teasingly rubbing her pebbled nipple.

His other hand replaced the pressure from his knee against her core, finger separating her folds as he started to circle her clit, his kiss silencing all her slow and earning moans. Her nails digged on his shoulders as she attempted to mutter a faster between his long kisses.

   - Shush princess, alpha is going to make you feel all better. - his voice was low, almost mocking how yearning she was. 

   - I want you inside of me, please.

   - You don’t need to beg, omega mine. I’m all yours. 

His hand moved to hold her waist as he aligned his cock with her entrance. His eyes searched for hers, wanting to look at her before he did it yet as he looked into her eyes all he found was love and trust. Someone loved and trusted him. His omega loved and trust him and that was all he could ever want. He leaned in to kiss her again before fully slipping inside of her. He went slowly, watching the way her face contorted with pleasure just for him, listening to her little moans before he was fully sheathed inside of her. The two moaned in unison and he stilled, looking for any sign of discomfort in her face.

   - Move, alpha. Move. - she begged, nails dragging up and down his shoulders. 

   - Whatever you want, sweetheart. - he leaned to kiss her again as he started to move in and out of her. She moaned out a breathy moan, hands holding onto him as he moved to kiss her neck, her scent making him drunk with pleasure. 

She was filled with him and all that yearning only seemed to heighten everytime he moved. He was her alpha and she was happy being filled by him, being his. He nipped at her neck, continuing his movements so he could hear all those lovely moans. God, he was drunk on it, her scent and her moans. He moved his hand to feel himself against her stomach. God, she looked pretty, so owned. Those waves of heat were back again as she started to clench around his cock. His movements quickened as he let out a groan against her skin, his thrusts were no longer controlled and merely looking for release until she let out a high pitched moan. 

   - Fuck, omega. - he growled, before biting her skin as ropes and ropes of white painted her walls. His knot inflated, keeping them connected. He didn’t think he’d be able to ever leave her. - Fuck, Y/N, I’m sorry.

   - You marked me. - she looked at him playfully, kissing down his jaw. - You’re stuck with me. 

   - I think it’s the other way around, m’lady.

   - High Lord James Barnes, it has a ring to it. 

   - Don’t say that. - he hide in the space between her neck and shoulder, licking the fresh mark on her neck. - I should take you back to your nest, sweetheart.

   - You’re joining me right?

   - A heat is three days, omega. We’re going to have fun. 

taglist: @kitty4860​

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky/you #bucky x y/n #bucky/y/n #bucky x reader #bucky/reader #omega!reader #alpha!bucky #bucky smut

[tennessoui]

FeralObi anon here. How do you come up with these so fast?? Are you an infinite number of ideas and worlds in human-shaped form? I love both of those ideas. The first one kills me tho, Obi gets his first kind touch in years from lil Anakin. Also you can have lil Anakin coming home one day with a skulking, snarling nonverbal murder puppy and saying brightly, "He followed me home, can I keep him?" Schmi thinks this is definitely worse than the time he brought a krayt dragon home.

ah! hello! yes this is the first idea of a feral obi-wan who meets anakin when he's still on tatooine. i will also still do the second idea because like. i liked them equally as much rip me

but i told myself these were going to both be very short snippets and instead this one is uh 2k so i'll post the second one tomorrow instead of tonight!

(ficlet where obi-wan is captured by pirates/unspecified forces at a young age and then tortured for a decade before he escapes to tatooine when anakin is like 6. obi-wan, after a decade of torture is....not alright in this fic though he's only here at the end) (2k)

Shmi had known that when she sent her little Anakin away to follow after the stern-faced, warm-eyed Jedi Master, that this would not be the last time she ever saw her boy. She couldn’t explain how she knew, just as she had not been able to explain how she became pregnant, but she knew beyond a doubt that one day, she would see her little boy back in her arms.

She just hadn’t known it would be so soon.

“He died, Master Jinn died,” Anakin mumbles into the front of her dress, unwilling to move his head far back enough from her hug that he could talk clearly. “On Naboo. And the stupid Jedi council refused to train me even after I was so amazing in the air. Mom, I destroyed a blockade! Entirely! And they wouldn’t--they didn’t--” his little face scrunches up and then he’s bawling into his hands.

A slave, a born slave, knows intrinsically the injustice of the galaxy. It is not often they know hope.

“Oh my boy,” she whispers, smoothing a hand over the top of his head. She has questions. She has so many questions about everything he’s just said and what those strangers have put her son through, but the most important thing is a question she cannot wait until he has cried himself out to ask. “Is your chip gone, Ani? Did they remove your transmitter?”

Because she had sent him away from her so that he could be free. And that had been her own twisted version of hope, that her son could know a life she never would again. If the Jedi masters had proven to be just like every other master in the world, she would find herself sobbing into her own hands.

“Yeah,” Anakin sniffles and wipes at his ruddy cheeks, pulling back a few steps. “They removed it and everything. And--”

He pauses and drops his satchel to the ground in front of her. “They gave me credits. To buy you. For my trouble.”

He spits out the last three words like they’re the most disgusting thing in the entire world. As if Shmi’s freedom isn’t laying at their feet, mere centimeters away.

“Republic credits are no good here,” she hears herself say faintly.

“Padme, the handmaiden you met, she talked to the queen about me I guess,” Anakin mumbles, kicking his feet. “And when the queen learned that the Jedi didn’t want me even after all that, Padme says the queen says I’ll always have a place on Naboo. Me and my family. And then she took the Jedi credits and gave me these instead. It should be enough, Mom.”

Shmi sits down on the floor. With shaking hands, she opens the bag and looks inside. Yes. Yes.

There’s more than enough.

There’s enough to buy her freedom and take her boy away from Mos Espa. There’s enough to take her boy away from Tatooine completely.

“I…” she says. “Ani, I…”

“Padme said she’d send a ship for us,” Ani reports as if their lives are not changing right in front of their eyes. “In two days ‘cause I told her it might take a little bit of time to get Ben to come with us. But we can’t leave without him.”

This is said fiercely and with his arms crossed tightly over his little chest.

Shmi stares at him.

“I’ve already left him once!” Anakin says, stomping his foot. “But that was okay, because I knew you would bring him food and water and stuff. But if we’re both gone, no one’s going to be there for him.”

Shmi bites at her lip. There’s a lot of things happening very quickly right now, and she doesn’t know how to process half of them.

Her son has come back, after only being gone for a week and a half.

He has apparently either endeared himself so much to the queen of Naboo that she was willing to give him the money necessary to buy his mother from slavery and also promise him sanctuary on her planet. He says he’s done this by single-handedly ending a blockade, which is something she just cannot even think about right now.

He has told this queen--queen--that he will gladly live on Naboo with his family. Yes. Alright.

His family seems to include his imaginary friend, Ben.

Anakin has been talking about Ben for years now, ever since he was six and a half years old and sent by Watto to retrieve any scraps he could from what looked to be a crashed pod in the Wastelands. She’d let him ramble on about the ghost of a friend, because she’d known it to be something all children go through and experience. She hadn’t thought Anakin a lonely child, not with the friends he made in Mos Espa, but she’d always known that Anakin had a wandering spirit, ill-suited for Tatooine. If he liked to imagine an older man from a strange world hiding in the caves of the Wastes, then she wasn’t going to say anything.

“You have been leaving him food, haven’t you, Mom?” Anakin asks, almost accusatory. “I told him to expect you and everything.”

No. Shmi has not been traveling to the edge of the Wastelands every day during her precious few hours of free time in order to leave food to be picked apart by womp rats and desert critters and not her boy’s imaginary friend.

“Ani,” she says cautiously, quietly, “we cannot...we won’t be able to bring Ben with us when we go.”

Anakin, predictably, does not react well. “Why not!” he yells, backing away from her even further and looking as if she is the enemy. “Padme’s fine with it!”

“Aren’t you a little old for imaginary friends?” Shmi asks desperately, feeling cold suddenly even though the heat of the mid-morning sun has not abated at all.

If anything, her son looks more offended. “He’s not imaginary! Saying...saying that he’s not coming with us...is...is a bunch of poodoo!”

“Anakin!” Shmi gasps.

“Come on,” her boy says forcefully, grabbing at her hand and tugging her towards the door. She gets on her feet reluctantly and has half a mind to pull back just because he needs to learn that this sort of behavior is not okay, war hero or not. “We’re going to buy you from Watto. And then we’re going to go visit Ben!”

---

Buying her freedom takes less time than Shmi Skywalker ever thought it would. It feels distant as well, as if it’s happening to someone else.

It doesn’t help that her Ani is impatient and surly by turn, spilling the coin out onto Watto’s counter and barely waiting for him to finish counting it before he’s looking at the price of renting a four-person speeder parked outside.

“You won’t survive out there on your own,” Watto sneers, even as he’s passing her the kill-switch of her own slave chip. “Days. It’ll be days until the Hutts find out there’s a newly freed slave with no connections out there in the open. Ripe for the pickin’.”

Watto doesn’t have to tell her any of this. She knows. Gods, does she know.

But Anakin seems so sure about possessing the favor of the Queen of Naboo, or at least her handmaiden, which might be close enough to the same thing. She thanks Watto--she thanks him and then doesn’t even know why--and meets Anakin outside.

He’s bouncing around the speeder, little hands clutching his satchel to his chest. “Good!” he says when he sees her, hopping onto the machine and putting the parcel between his feet. “I got Ben something called a fig on Naboo, but I don’t know how long it’ll take for it to go bad. Apparently they’re sweet.”

Shmi goes along with it. Shmi doesn’t know why she goes along with it, but she does. She can see this is important to her boy, and though she’d rather spend the afternoon and early evening saying goodbye to her friends, she will allow Ani to say goodbye to his imaginary friend. Maybe she’ll even talk to it. “Hi, hello, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the imaginary blue milk and delicacies I’ve left out for you this past week and half. Oh no, it was no bother. My son insisted.”

The ride is quick--Anakin has always been a driver to push the limits of any engine he comes across--and before she knows it, he’s dismounting on a piece of desert and rock that look exactly the same as the last four pieces of rocky terrain they’ve past.

“Ben!” Ani calls, satchel clutched firmly in his hands as he makes his way deeper into the crevices of the landscape. “Ben, it’s Ani! I’m really sorry that I left! Ben? Ben! I’m back now! Ani’s back!”

It’s actually...quite pathetic, to watch her boy speak so pleadingly to the cold stone faces of the rocks around them, but if this is what he needs to do to say goodbye to his life on Tatooine, Shmi won’t say a word.

“Ben--” Anakin draws in a breath to call again, but then there’s movement out of the corner of Shmi’s eyes, and something jumps from the rock down to land on her boy.

She screams and darts forward, but the thing on top of her son snarls at her in guttural warning.

“No, Ben,” Ani coos, stroking at the face that yes, is human, now that it’s not in unnaturally fast motion. “That’s my mom, Ben.”

Ben--Ben??--growls anyway, pinning the boy--her boy--beneath him with his legs and arms.

“She’s fine,” Ani murmurs gently, one hand reaching up to stoke over the beginnings of a beard on Obi-Wan’s face “Oh Ben, I’m sorry.”

The man on top of Shmi’s child finally looks away from her and at her boy, which is both better and worse.

“Ani,” Ben drawls out, as if the word--or perhaps forming the word--hurts him.

Anakin is happy. Shmi can tell he’s happy without even being able to see much of him. It’s like the very air vibrates with his joy. “Yes!” her son says. “Ani. Ben.” He taps the man’s chest. “Ben. Ani.”

The man buries his head into Anakin’s hair, hands rubbing up and down his sides and his arms and his face.

Shmi needs to say something, wants to say something about this strange man touching boy like he owns him, but the memory of his growl and the flash of his golden eyes stops her from stepping forward.

“Anakin, get away from him,” she hisses instead of stepping forward and tearing the stranger off of her son. She has the distinct feeling Anakin wouldn’t let Ben go anywhere, not with the way his little hands are holding so tight to the man’s shoulders. The man’s shoulders that are covered with one of her old tunics that Anakin had told her became unsalvageable after its last wash.

“No,” Anakin says, tightening his hold on his...friend. “He says you didn’t give him food the entire time I was gone! He’s hungry.”

Shmi thinks there’s a very good possibility that this Ben is going to eat her, but she knows not to say anything of the sort. Not when it’s two against one.

“He hasn’t said anything!” She cries instead.

Anakin huffs at this and pats at the feral’s head. “Maybe not to you, but he talks to me.”

Shmi stares at him and wonders if there’s something she’s supposed to be doing or saying here. The man won’t allow her to tear him off her child, she knows that automatically. But she can’t--she doesn’t know--

“Anakin,” she tries, desperately.

But Anakin doesn’t even look at her, too busy petting over the man, who has at least allowed him to sit up. “Hey, I’m sorry, I thought she would,” he tells him in an undertone. “I really thought she would, but I’m back now. I’m not going anywhere without you again--”

He extends his hand and Ben presses his cheek against it with enough force that it pushes him back slightly.

“You’re coming to Naboo with us, Ben,” Anakin promises, clutching at the ends of the man’s long hair. “Or I’m not going at all.”

To Shmi, it sounds like a threat.

The way her son’s eyes flash an unfamiliar golden color makes her feel cold as a Tatooine night. She shivers, but no one notices.

#asks #feral!obi-wan #cw: torture aftermath #its really quite vague tbh #i wanted to use shmi as a narrator because i never really have before #but that means nothing but shmi's perspective gets shared #i mean obviously #but its defo outside perspective here #but this was fun #im not gonna tag it as obikin because anakin here is nine #but yeah i see them living on naboo and healing together from their traumas #and being the most important person to each other #and eventually when anakin is like 25 maybe even older #they kiss #but that's the story i didnt write lmao

[ashintheairlikesnow]

A Little Bit Stabbed

Jake Gets Stabbed Miniseries: First Second Third Fourth Fifth Sixth

CW: Discussion of past child abuse/domestic violence, description of stab wound, painkillers/drugged but in a good way, brief IV needle reference, some short references to Jake’s religious trauma, some trauma response stuff

“Took four of us to get you onto the couch, you know,” Kauri says, fingers moving gently to brush Jake’s short hair back off his forehead. There’s a hint of humor to his deep voice, but Jake catches the tremor in it, too. “You’re heavier than you look.”

“Must be… pretty fucking heavy, then,” Jake manages, voice slightly thin. They gave him something - Nat’s EMT friend showed up with IV supplies while refusing to tell anyone where they’d gotten ahold of everything from, except to repeatedly reassure all of them I know someone, it’s taken care of, I probably won’t go to jail for this. Besides, I’ve been in jail before.

Jake might not have found it very reassuring if he wasn’t halfway to unconscious from the pain alone at the time.

Now, though, there’s a needle feeding a steady supply of something wonderful into his bloodstream, holding the worst of the pain at bay. All he can feel now is maybe a little bit of an itch he knows better than to scratch, and a heaviness to his limbs that keeps them limp and relaxed. 

“We had to turn the stupid thing into the pull-out bed just to make sure your feet wouldn’t be higher than your head.” Kauri smiles at him, but there’s worry in those warm blue eyes, and Jake uses every ounce of strength to lift his good hand, the one on the uninjured side, and take Kauri’s, pulling his knuckles to his lips to brush against them. 

“I’m okay,” Jake says softly. “I am, Kaur. It’s not so bad.”

“It’s not-... you got fucking stabbed in your own kitchen, Jake.” Kauri’s lips thin and he looks away, over towards the TV, playing Clue.

Funny, Jake thinks, woozy and untethered to any kind of focus. My mom used to play Clue when we were alone, after. Made her feel better for a while.

“Just a… a flesh wound,” Jake manages in a terrible approximation of a British accent.

Kauri just looks at him, expression serious, and leans over until their foreheads touch. He’s warm, and Jake’s eyes close, basking in the body heat that comes off of him, surrounds them both. “Don’t,” Kauri whispers. “Please don’t make jokes. I thought-”

“It’s okay,” Jake murmurs. 

Eventually, he should probably tell someone he can only sort of feel the hand on the injured side. But not now. 

“It’s okay. It’s not s’bad. I got the good drugs, right?”

“Antibiotics and…” Kauri squints at the label on the bag attached to the IV, then winces and shakes his head. “Sorry. Can’t read today. It, uh. It kind of comes and goes when I’m worried, and today-”

“I get it. But… you don’t have to worry about me, Kaur. It’s over, it happened… I’ll feel better pretty fast. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Kauri says softly, but he relaxes beside Jake, keeping a hold of his hand. His fingers are slightly chilled, but they warm against Jake’s. The two of them settle into silence for a while, a woman in black on the TV with eyes blown wide in comic exaggeration of anger speaking in a blur of sound Jake knows by heart but can’t really pick apart from anything else, not just yet, not right now. 

He knows this movie by heart. He and his mom used to curl up under a blanket while she closed her eyes and prayed for things to get better and Jake prayed for his dad to die in a car accident or some other terrible way, and make it slow, and then pray with terror not to go to hell for thinking like that.

If men like his father go to heaven, Jake would rather burn in hell.

At least my favorite bands would be there, he thinks, and laughs to himself, shoulders shaking a little, sending a ripple of pain down his arm and spiking into his skull. He winces, but the thought still strikes him as too funny to quit circling woozily around his mind, and he keeps laughing a little.

Kauri turns to look at him, eyebrows raised. “What are you laughing at?”

Jake blinks over at him, those wide blue eyes. It had been hell not to be able to hold him for so long, with eyes like that. Real hell, the kind where you spend your days wishing for a connection that seems too hard to make. “Nothing, just… thinking about shit with my dad,” He says, finally. “My mom and I used to watch Clue all the time. It’s her favorite movie.”

“Yeah?” Kauri looks over his shoulder, back at the television, and Jake’s eyes move lazily over the slight bump in his nose where it was broken by someone years ago, the dip of his lips, the roundness of his chin, angling a little with age. The way his neck would feel to trace with just one fingertip, how he smiles when Jake does it, asks him what the fuck he’s looking at when there’s way more to Kauri that needs attention right now than just his face.

There’s a lazy wave of warmth in Jake, a steady thrum of something that goes much deeper than arousal, at the memory.

Adoration.

“Yeah,” He says, softly. “She’d put it on when he left the house, we’d make popcorn and watch it. Saturday night special, popcorn and a movie, Mom and Jake.”

“Where’d your dad go?” Kauri asks, then the answer catches up with him, and he winces. “Wait, sorry. I think I know where he went.”

“Church.”

That is clearly not what Kauri expected to hear. “I-... what?” He turns back to Jake, eyebrows furrowing. “I thought-”

“Nope. He went to church. Fish fry on Saturdays, he volunteered.” Jake is dimly aware that this might be more than he’s ever told Kauri about his father, at least more than he’s ever said that wasn’t laser-focused on the hurts, the bruises, the concussion, the ER visits where Jake learned to lie. “He was a magician with a deep fryer. Best fucking fish I ever ate.” He laughs, then coughs a little against the new round of ache in his shoulder. 

Kauri is quiet for a moment, his eyes searching Jake’s face, maybe looking for an idea of how to respond the right way. Jake knows that look - he’s seen it less and less over the years, but it never fully stops.

Kauri never stops looking for the safe answer, the one that won’t get him hurt. Jake never stops being ready to fight his way out if it happens again. Kauri is still ready to say what the abuser needs to hear, placate and please and keep himself alive.

Jake is still ready to pick up a weapon and use it if his father ever comes near he or his mother again. Not that he ever will. Not that he even wants to, sixteen years after Jake last saw his face. 

But he’s still built, deep within, to fight the threat. And so is Kauri, in his own way. 

“I love you so much,” Jake says softly. “I hope you didn’t pull anything dragging my ass around.”

“Mmmn, guess I’ll find out,” Kauri says softly, snuggling back up to him, then. “Should we change the movie? If it’s, like, a thing for you-”

“Nah.” Jake smiles, slightly. He feels pleasantly drunk, on whatever the painkiller slowly drip-feeding into his arm is. A little woozy, a little bit in love with it. “It’s like a comfort thing, really. I should call my mom-”

“I already did,” Kauri says, gently pushing him back down as Jake tries to make himself sit up. “She’s driving up. She said she’ll get here in the morning, she had to find someone to watch her dog.”

Jake blinks twice. “Mom has a dog?”

“I think it’s new. But, um. You can’t exactly meet her at her hotel, Jake. She’s gonna have to come here.”

Jake feels a rush of old nerves prickling along his arms, the hair of his neck trying to stand up. He closes his eyes, tries to push it back down. “I’ve never given her my address. It’s not safe for us. What if-... I don’t know. I’ve just never… I’ve always worried that if he found her, you know, that he’d… convince her to tell him where I live. He’d turn us all in just to feel like the big righteous moral hero all over again. Probably hard to feel that way when you’re hitting a teenager. Easier when you’re turning in vigilantes with stolen property.” He spits the words, and Kauri flinches a little. “Shit. Sorry, Kaur.”

“No, it’s. It’s okay. I get what you mean. But I don’t think your mom would do that. She loves you.”

“She does.” Jake exhales, closes his eyes. Inside him there is still an angry child that wants to point out that it hasn’t always been enough. But there’s a grown man, and a decade of fucking therapy, telling him there’s a whole lot more to it than that. “And she’s finally come around to understanding why I do this. Yeah… yeah, we’ll tell her where I am. It’ll be fine. Honestly, it’s not so bad. Jameson really did a great job on the stabbing.” Jake tries to laugh again. “Fucking surgeon with a butcher knife. He managed to miss every fucking bit of me that would have killed me.”

“Except for if you bled out,” Kauri points out, voice small. 

“Yeah… but I didn’t.” Jake thinks of Antoni’s face, the focus in his dark eyes, the quick movement of his hands, the blinding agony of the cloth being forced into the wound to soak up the blood, the way Antoni had leaned all his weight forwards to put enough pressure to staunch the bleeding. Jake had never felt pain like that before, and he’s not sure he could handle feeling it again. “Ant was there. It’ll be okay. Where is he?”

“In his room.” Picking at the heavy thick blanket laid over Jake, not quite looking at him now, Kauri asks, “How are you so calm about this?”

“Drugs,” Jake answers right away. “Like ninety percent drugs.” He groans as a throbbing ache travels from the stab wound, up into his skull, all the way down to his toes. “Fuck. The… whatever’s in there helps. But also…” Jake sighs, letting his eyes drift to the ceiling, over the popcorn-texture there. He’d meant to scrape it clean and smooth, when he bought the house, but other stuff kept taking priority, and he hadn’t gotten around to it yet. “This isn’t th’ first time, you know?”

Kauri frowns. “Jake, I have licked just about everything on your body, I’ve never seen a scar from-”

“Not… not stabbed. But… stuck here, on a couch-bed, tryin’... tryin’ to heal from shit. That’s not new.” Jake exhales. Above him, the blades of the ceiling fan circle lazily, and his eyes follow the movement of the shadows. 

“No, I guess not.”

“In any case… I haven’t s-seen… Jameson’s upstairs, right? Can you get him down here?”

Something passes over Kauri’s face, a shadow, a discomfort and darkness that Jake can’t quite read. “Jameson’s not in the house, Jake.”

“What? Why?” Jake starts trying to sit up again, and this time Kauri’s gentle push isn’t enough to get him back down. He grinds his teeth against the pain and forces himself upright, trying to shift his legs over the side of the bed. The room spins around him, dizzy-sick flip in his stomach, but he ignores it. He’s felt worse than this and kept moving before. “Shit, fuck, I should’ve made sure he didn’t leave-”

“He didn’t. I made him go.”

The look Jake turns on Kauri is baffled, but there’s anger, too, welling up inside him. “You what?”

“I told him he can’t stay here if he’s a danger to you and the others,” Kauri says, but he cringes back from Jake’s expression, instinctive fear. Jake hates how he looks like his dad - huge and muscular, a threat inherent in his existence that he might not give off if he were smaller. But his bulk and his strength is also the thing that makes him capable of withstanding the danger he puts himself in for them. It’s the reason he could come home and pick Chris up with a broken rib and carry him after they raided the last safehouse he’d lived in. It’s the reason he could finally fight back with his dad. It’s the reason the kids at his new schools, one after another after another as he and his mom moved constantly to try not to be found, left him alone. 

“Kauri, he can’t-... Jameson’s not. He can’t live on his own.”

“That’s a lie,” Kauri says, lips barely moving. “That’s a lie they tell us-”

“No, that’s not what I-... Jameson’s like Chris,” Jake says, softly. “Like Chris used to be. He was treated like an animal, Kauri. He didn’t get to use fucking utensils to eat in the last two places he was held, he told me himself. He can’t live on his own yet. If you kicked him out… Jesus Christ, Kauri, do you not remember how it felt when you were kicked out?”

Kauri looks like he’s been slapped. “Wait, Jake-... I didn’t mean-”

“We found you half-dead under a goddamn bush, Kauri, you can’t do that to someone else just because I got a little bit stabbed! Shit. Fuck. I gave him a burner phone, if he’s still got it on him, maybe I can call-”

“Jakob fucking Stanton!” Kauri yells so rarely, and Jake goes still, turning to look at him, seeing the anger written across Kauri’s face. Kauri angry is electric, and immensely sexy, and something Jake had gone so long thinking he would never see unless Vincent Shield showed up with a new idea for how to make up for all his failures by forcing himself around someone who hated him. “Will you fucking listen to me?!”

Jake just sits there, staring at him. He can’t even find the words. Eventually, he just nods.

“I didn’t kick him out on the street, I’m not that awful, and fuck you for thinking I am and we’re going to talk about that later when you aren’t half off your head from painkillers. I don’t want him here until you’re feeling better in case it happens again, so I-... so I sent him home with Nat. She doesn’t have anyone living with her right now, and she said okay, so he’s going to stay with her.” Kauri swallows, reaching slowly out to lay his hand on Jake’s leg. “He and I talked. He said it’s always been men, Jake. All of the ones who hurt him were men, one of them was... was really big like you, I guess. So I thought-... if he’s with Nat, maybe it won’t happen again for long enough for him to, to work it through in therapy and Dr. Berger maybe can give him, give him s-something to help. So maybe he won’t, um, hallucinate or… or w-whatever the next time.” Kauri’s eyes well up, glimmer with tears that don’t fall. “I was trying to help. I thought he’d feel safer with only a woman, maybe, and I sent him alone so that he’d know he can’t hurt Allyn, he was really scared of that, and…”

Jake’s mouth hangs open.

Kauri slumps over, his forehead slowly resting against Jake’s back where he sits slightly behind him now that Jake is nearly off the bed. “I had to make sure everyone’s safe. I didn’t know what else to do. I sent Chris to stay with Laken overnight but he’ll be back tomorrow, Antoni’s fucked up but he’s in his room and he’s safe, and all the rescues promised to stay in their rooms and Allyn tried to go with Jameson and I think they hate me now because I said no, but I didn’t-... I tried to think of what you would do, if it had been Chris or me he’d hurt. I was trying to be like you. I’m s-sorry if I fucked it up, I’m sorry, please, I thought you were going to die, please don’t be mad at me-”

“Kauri.” Jake turns, and uses his good hand to lift Kauri’s chin, meeting his eyes. 

Blue on blue, always. 

“I’m not mad,” He says, gently. “Not… not now. You’re right, I shouldn’t have… just been a shit deciding what you did without asking. I’m sorry. So, let me just… you spent the last couple of hours really fucking busy, huh?”

Kauri nods, kissing Jake’s fingertips, one by one. “I’m sorry,” He whispers. “I’m not… I’m not good at this, I’m not... not... I was so scared. I didn’t know what you would do, Jake, and Nat said she thought it was a good idea, so-”

“It is. It is a good idea.” Kauri blinks, surprised, and the tears that have been threatening finally run, clear as crystal, down his flushed cheeks. He looks like a fucking sculpture, Jake thinks to himself, like some artist’s idea of the perfect beautiful person. “Kauri, just. Now that I get what you were trying to do… Shit. That’s really smart.”

Kauri huffs a laugh, a kind of half-sobbing sound, and shakes his head. “It’s just, I was just guessing-”

“That’s all we ever do, too,” Jake says, voice soft. “We guess, at what we can do to help. Nat always says we make the hard choices when nobody else can. Kauri, that’s the smartest fucking idea. I’m… that’s some grace under fire shit. That’s amazing.”

“It… it is?”

“Yeah.” Jake kisses him, and Kauri tastes like mouthwash, like mint, kisses back with desperate intensity. “Yeah, Kaur. That’s even better than what I would have done. You’re so fucking smart. What made you decide to slum it with me?”

“You have a really good d-dick and I don’t w-w-want to lose access,” Kauri says, and he’s crying or laughing or maybe both. “You’re my eye candy.”

“You’re my Einstein.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself,” Jake says softly. 

“Heal a little first.” Kauri sighs, half-smiling, pulling Jake back into the bed to lay down again. “Everyone’s safe, Jake. At least for now. Everyone’s okay. You need to rest, and everyone’s going to be okay.”

Jake lets his head be maneuvered back onto the pillow, feels Kauri settle back down next to him, pulling the blankets back up over them both. He’s silent for a while, lets the soft sound of the end of the movie wash over him, showing the different endings.

“I love you,” He whispers. The way the adrenaline is fading makes him sleepy, drifting in a new drowsy haze, ready to dose off again. “So much.”

“Love you, too,” Kauri murmurs. 

He knows this - the couch-bed pulled out, watching movies and stand-up comedy at a low volume, a throb of pain somewhere that will heal only with time - by heart.

With Kauri’s weight and warmth beside him, it feels entirely, completely new.

-

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @whump-tr0pes @raigash @moose-teeth @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @eatyourdamnpears @boxboysandotherwhump @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @outofangband @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @thehopelessopus @butwhatifyouwrite @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @newandfiguringitout @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whumpiary @endless-whump

#whump #past child abuse tw #past domestic violence tw #erase to control #jake the shelter guy #caretaker and whumpee #whumpee turned caretaker #caretaker as whumpee #injured caretaker #hurt/comfort #mostly comfort but some hurt #h/c #angsty fluff #stab wound #injury aftermath #box boy universe #bbu #box boy #religious trauma tw #it's vague but still #angry whumpee #angry caretaker #both of them are both! #drugged whumpee #sort of #ptsd tw

[jakeyp]

“I don’t know why I’m crying I-I’m sorry” // angst and fluff ♥︎

hi... i kind of wrote a small fic with that prompt. you can read it here or on ao3! thanks for this i really needed the motivation. i decided to write something about what happened after 8x06! <3 

—

Amy arrives home a little later than usual that night, overwhelmed with the events of the last few days. There are so many things to process, though the only thing she can focus on at the moment, is her husband’s suspension. She knows Jake very well, and most likely he’ll try to hide his sadness and pretend he’s fine, not because he thinks he’s weak but because he doesn’t want Amy to worry about him. Yet, she can’t help to wonder how he’s taking it.

Not knowing what to expect as she enters their apartment, Amy tosses her keys onto the couch sadly, too distracted to place them on the key hook. Jake is nowhere to be seen, so she figures he must be putting Mac to sleep, since it’s past ten already, and there are no toys scattered around the floor.

Indeed, she finds Jake whispering to his son, who lies in his crib, babbling and very, very awake, even though the lights are dimmed and it’s quiet in there.

“Hey,” Amy says softly.

Despite her tone, Jake startles, turning around, but immediately relaxes when he sees it’s just her. “Ames,” he breathes, looking down at Mac and then back at his wife, guilt taking over his features. “I kind of let him take a nap earlier and now he can’t sleep…”

“It’s okay,” Amy says, shrugging. She wants to add something else to reassure him, but her mind’s entirely blank, so she settles for a casual question. “What did you two have for dinner?”

Jake smiles. “He tried scrambled eggs for the first time. I know it’s technically breakfast food, but I read he can eat them now, plus it’s what I cook best.”

“And?”

“He loved them, duh.”

Amy chuckles. “Of course. Did you have some too?”

“I… wasn’t really hungry.”

“Oh. Well, I haven’t eaten either. We can heat some leftovers if you want.”

Jake nods with a weak smile, which widens as he turns to check on Mac. “Hey, he’s asleep! Maybe he just needed to make sure mama arrived home safe.”

Amy leans over to look at her sleeping son. Mac looks so much like his dad, when he laughs or smiles—which he’s been doing recently a lot—but especially when he’s asleep and completely peaceful.

She turns to see Jake staring at their baby with a proud smile and it warms her heart. Perhaps he’s forgotten about the suspension.

“Leftovers, then?” she whispers after a while, grabbing him by the wrist to pull him a little closer to her.

“Sure,” he says, throwing a last glance at Mac before following Amy out of their room and closing the door behind him. They’ve learned to make as little noise as possible in the last ten months, so their voices are barely above a whisper by default whenever Mac is asleep.

As it’s routine, Jake turns on the TV, not choosing a channel, and mutes it before joining Amy in the kitchen, while she gets the food from the fridge and puts it in the microwave.

From the corner of her eye, she can see Jake leaning against the counter in an awkward pose, staring at her almost anxiously.

Amy has no idea how to ask the question she’s been wanting to ask him since she got there, so she takes a deep breath and turns to him. “Babe, are you… okay with it?”

His expression tells her he’s been dreading her to ask. Yet, he plays dumb. “With what?”

“With everything that happened. Your suspension…”

“Oh,” Jake spats after what seems like hours, as if every emotion he was supposed to be feeling before was just settling in. Amy’s stomach drops. These subjects might not be her thing. “It’s fine. I suppose I can talk about it, but is it necessary?”

She shrugs. “Just tell me.” Her voice is as soft as it can be. “How do you feel about it?”

Jake puts on a poker face now. She’s usually good at reading him, but she can’t tell what he’s thinking. Amy knows how much he enjoys his job. Everything had happened so fast, though, at some point she’d lost track of it all. One second he was very excited about his ‘Speed’ situation and then, suddenly, he was in too deep.

To sum it up, it hadn’t gone well.

“I feel weird,” Jake finally admits, looking down. “It feels weird to know I won’t be going back tomorrow. But I’ll… adapt, I guess.”

“I’m sure you will,” she automatically replies, hesitating a little before placing a hand on his chest.

He seems to attempt a smile, but it vanishes right away. “I feel stupid too. Why can’t I listen? Holt told me to stay out of it and I screwed up. I screw up a lot.”

Amy frowns. “Of course you don’t. Sometimes you can be silly, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with it. This time it just… it got out of my hands too. I was really drunk.”

Jake chuckles. “Yeah,” he says shortly, and then swallows. “So five months, huh? It isn’t that much, is it? There are like thirty days in a month so it would be like a hundred days which have twenty-four hours each, so it would be like twenty-four thousand hours.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head with a smile. Math is decidedly not Jake’s strength. “It’s only like… three thousand and seven hundred hours.”

“Oh. That’s… still a lot.”

Amy sighs. His eyes are red, probably with exhaustion, and she can’t recognize the emotion behind them. It might be just deep, deep sadness.

“Ames,” he says huskily before she can talk. “What am I gonna do?”

Her eyebrows shot up, but before she can even think of an answer, Jake cuts her off again. “Things were so well yesterday. It makes me think… I can mess everything up so quickly. And it’s always my fault. What am I gonna mess up next?”

“Don’t say that,” she says, her throat knotting. “It’s okay to make mistakes, babe. And you are great at dealing with the consequences. You learn from your mistakes, you’ve always done.”

“Yeah, I keep pushing things until something goes wrong,” he argues in a trembling voice, “and until then I stop, I—” and suddenly that trembling voice breaks.

Amy’s stomach drops again as his eyes tear up, becoming redder. He immediately looks away when he realizes himself.

“Hey,” she says soothingly, cupping his face to make him look at her. “Don’t beat yourself up over this.”

“I’m sorry,” he chokes. “I know it’s a dumb thing to cry over, I just—” once more he’s unable to finish his sentence, pinching his lips shut before his voice can get any louder or high-pitched.

A single tear streams down his cheek.

“It’s not dumb,” Amy says. “If it makes you feel like this, it’s not dumb.”

“Well, I got myself into it—”

“And as I said, you will learn from it. That’s what matters.”

“I’ve been suspended like a thousand times already,” he counters, his tone bitter. "What makes you think it won’t happen again? What makes you think I couldn’t get fired?”

She shrugs, trying to stay calm even though she wants to cry as well. “I wouldn’t be less proud of you than I am today,” she says. “You’ve grown up so much and whatever you have to deal with, I have to deal with too, because I love you and I’m willing to. So please, don’t beat yourself up over this because it’s going to be fine.”

He sniffs. “How can you know that?”

“Because I’ll make sure everything’s fine. You’re not alone, babe. You have me.”

Jake stays in silence for a few seconds, and she thinks he’s going to start sobbing, but his lips curl instead. “I love you so much,” is all he says.

“I love you too,” she mouths back, afraid she’ll begin crying if she talks, and then pulls him into a hug.

They stay like that for a while, maybe five seconds or ten minutes, sinking in a silence that they don’t really mind. She pulls away from his embrace only to wipe his tears away. Jake looks so tired. Exhausted, even. She feels the same way, when minutes ago they were going to watch some TV and have dinner, though now she’s not sure she’s up for it.

Jake must have been thinking the same thing because a small laugh comes from his lips all of a sudden.

“What?” Amy asks, amused.

“I just realized we never even heated the food.”

Amy chuckles, and it only causes him to laugh a little harder. She wonders if it’s the exhaustion making such a simple detail seem so funny, and rests her head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. It’s calmer now, it could be matching hers.

“Babe,” she says softly.

“Yes?” Jake hums.

“It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

He doesn’t answer right away, and Amy separates, afraid she said the wrong thing, but Jake’s only bowing his head like she said the cheesiest thing in the world.

“I know. Thanks, Ames,” he says, and then adds, “I love you.” Even though she hears those words coming from him at least ten times a day, he manages to make them sound like it’s the first every time.

“I love you too,” Amy whispers, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Jake is about to return a much longer kiss on the lips when Mac interrupts the moment. Amy squeezes her eyes shut with a knowing smile—this has happened many times before. However, Jake immediately becomes alert and rushes to attend to his son.

Amy chuckles to herself, finally heating the food which is still inside the microwave and turns off the TV, because they are definitely not watching anything before they fall asleep, worn off with the events.

Like Jake would say, they’re sort of an old couple now, but she couldn’t care less. To her, so far, it’s meant that things can be so easy now.

Her husband doesn’t join her back in the kitchen so she goes and checks on him and Mac. The room feels so warm and quiet still, as Jake rocks his son softly, lulling him, again not realizing Amy’s watching. It always seems like he drifts away from reality when he’s trying to make Mac stop crying—and he’s good at it. She doesn’t know what it is, but Jake is great at it.

“I have to admit,” Amy says, startling him of course, “I’m a little jealous of you. You get to spend five months with him, all by yourself.”

Jake gives her what looks like an automatic smile, and then realization hits him. “I hadn’t thought about that before,” he huffs, stroking Mac’s soft curls and looking down at him. “Did you hear that, bud? Five months for only the two of us.”

Mac babbles, and Amy tries to ignore how awake he still sounds. “Careful, Ames,” Jake tells her. “That sounded a lot like ‘dada’, and with these five months? It’s definitely going to be his first word.”

Amy rolls her eyes with a playful smile. “Not if I train him every night.”

“Challenge accepted.”

An hour later they’re both in bed after eating dinner and Amy has already changed into her pajamas. Jake hasn’t stopped rocking Mac, who woke up once more, but his father doesn’t seem to mind, and Amy has the feeling that his suspension doesn’t sound so bad to him anymore.

—

#this is the first time i post a fic!! #i let myself go #it's 1.9 k words i think #anyway i'm excited to know what you think! #i enjoyed writing this a lot #it had been ages since i wrote anything like this #so THANK YOU anon #ilysm #jake peralta #amy santiago #mac peralta #b99 fanfic #fluff #angst #comfort

[triptuckers]

New In Town (part seven) - Kaz Brekker

Request: nope Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: after kaz outsmarts you, you're desperate for a new way to get your information. it turns out kaz has a solution to your problem Warnings:  none Word count: 2.4K A/N: the last part wow!! I had so much fun writing this, thanks to everyone who has read this series! <3 PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (all grishaverse fics): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha@story-scribbler@romanoffstarkovs@daliareads@meiitanoia @itsnotquimey@sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone@aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess @sassybadqueen TAG LIST (Kaz Brekker): @mufnasa @Janesofia7 @stairscortana @parker-natasha @illicitghosts @brick-by-brick553 @gallysonegoodlung @dropssofjupitter @earthtokace TAG LIST (New In Town): @calums-betch add yourself to my tag lists here

You couldn't believe it. You stayed up all night trying to figure out how Kaz could outsmart you. How he figured out how you got your information on his jobs.

You hadn't found the answer yet.

While you're kind of angry he figured it out, you're also impressed. It took him a while, but he did figure it out eventually.

But now you have to figure out a new way to get information.

You couldn't climb the roof again soon, obviously. No doubt Kaz would have sent Inej up there to make sure you couldn't listen in on their meetings again.

Even if you were to approach the Slat, you now have six people to be on the lookout for, instead of just Jesper and Kaz. And there was no way of telling wether or not Kaz had given your description to other Dregs as well.

You spend the rest of the day in your apartment, trying to figure out how Kaz could have figured it out. And sulking because they got away with your prize. Well, it was their prize first, so you didn't really have a reason to be upset about it.

The next day, you're walking toward the Barrel. You're wearing a coat with a large hood pulled over your head and part of your face. Even if someone did see you, there's a chance they wouldn't see your face.

But just how much does Kaz know about you? He knows your true identity, the name the Ravkans had given you, how you get your information. You'd be a fool to think he wouldn't recognise you if he saw you in the streets.

In the distance, you see the familiar crooked building appear. Your eyes are darting around the street, looking for any of the crows. When you don't see them, you slip in the alley behind the Slat.

Though you know you probably won't hear anything, you climb the building anyway.

All the way to your spot by Kaz' window. Maybe you wouldn't hear a detailed plan for a job. But you could happen to overhear something else. Maybe you could hold that information against him. Demand part of the prize.

But when half of the day has passed, you hadn't heard as much as a door opening.

Could they be away on a new job already? You had no idea just how many jobs he had in a week. After all, you only knew about the ones they talked about when they were in Kaz' rooms. There was no telling if they talked about other jobs in other places.

When you rise again, your muscles are sore and stiff. You would come back the next day, see if you could hear anything. Maybe they were out celebrating last night's success. They might be back tomorrow.

But they're not. Nor are they there to talk business the day after.

For an entire week, you hope to eavesdrop on them. No luck.

When a week has passed you find yourself on your way to the Slat again. You don't even know why. The chance you'd be able to hear something is basically nonexistent.

But there's some comfort in the routine. When you lay down on the roof, you can tell it's going to be a sunny day. There are no clouds in the air, and it's still a bit cold from the night.

You're starying to get lost in thoughts when you finally hear a sound in Kaz' room.

Footsteps. And of course his cane. You hold your breath, excited to finally hear him say something. You're surprised, when he seems to address you.

'Do you really think I'll tell you everything again?'

You carefully peer over the edge and see how Kaz pokes his head out of the window. You don't even bother to duck away. Instead, you glare at him.

'I've been eating the worst food every day because I need to save money for my fucking rent.' you say, frustratedly. 'My old job won't take me back.'

Kaz shrugs. 'Not my fault.' he says.

'Yes it is.' you say.

'No. It's not my fault that you don't get to steal from us anymore.' he says.

'Just give me a little something.' you say, almost begging him.

'I don't think I will.' says Kaz.

You groan. 'You're the worst.' you say.

'You have no idea.' says Kaz. 'Now come in so we can talk like civilised human beings.'

You glare at him again. 'Your words, not mine.' says Kaz.

His head disappears again and you hesitate. You then skilfully climb through the window. You let your eyes roam through the room.

It's clear that this is his office. There's stacks of paper everywhere, and though the room isn't that big, he's crammed a desk in there.

Kaz is sitting behind it, gesturing to a chair across from him. You look at him and slowly walk over to the chair to sit down.

He pours you a glass of kvas, then pours one for himself. You don't say anything, waiting for him to speak.

'So.' he says. 'Did you honestly think we'd have a meeting here again?'

You shrug. 'I hoped you would. Turns out I was wrong.' you say as you take a sip of your drink. 'How did you know how I got the information?'

'Inej.' says Kaz.

You chuckle softly. 'Of course. Did she see me?' you say.

Kaz nods. 'Once. She immediately told me someone was up on the roof near the window. I knew it was you. I suddenly knew that was how you kept getting the information.' he says.

'And you set a trap.' you say.

'And I set a trap.' says Kaz. 'You didn't even second guess it. Just took the bait like that. You ought to be more careful. This is still the Barrel. Everyone tricks everyone.'

'This is still the Barrel, but I'm still an outsider. I can make a few mistakes.' you say.

'Are you still an outsider?' says Kaz, finishing his drink.

You frown at him. 'Well, I'm not exactly Kerch now., if that's what you're implying.' you say.

'You don't have to be an outsider.' says Kaz. 'I've told you before, I value your skills. You would be a remarkable crow. An exceptional addition to the team.'

It sounds very tempting. Especially since you have no source of information now. Still, you should be able to survive on your own. Find and plan your own jobs. You're more than capable. But Kaz knows Ketterdam. Knows its valuables, its people, he's got eyes and ears everywhere.

But you're not a team player.

'I'll give you the same answer to the same question. I work alone.' you say.

'Fine with me.' says Kaz. 'Enjoy your cheap food.'

He gets up and walks through the door into a different room that's attached to his office. You're waiting for him to come back, but when he doesn't, you climb out of the window again.

You climb down to the street, and start walking back to your apartment. You really had to find some jobs, and fast.

After having declined Kaz' offer a second time, you doubt he'd offer it to you again. You're determined to find a job yourself.

You spend the next few weeks trying to find a job. But the more gangs won't accept you, the less jobs you find and the worse food you eat to save money, the more desperate you become.

Every day, Kaz' offer is still on your mind. You're starting to think he might have told every gang leader to not give you a job, so you'd have no choice but to accept his offer. You didn't even know if gangs had a lot of communication with each other, but you did know Kaz was more than capable of reaching out to them to stop them from employing you.

After no gang is willing to offer you a job, you try all the cafes and pubs in the city. You even try some near the university, but they'd taken one look at your clothes - not exactly student material - and sent you away.

And when your landlord approaches you and tells you that if you don't pay your rent on time she'll kick you out, you realise you really have to do something.

And desperate times call for desperate measures.

Your feet feel heavy when you walk toward the Slat. You feel like a fool. Declining Kaz' offer twice, and then going back to him when your landlord threatens to kick you out.

You don't bother to conceal your face, but you do take your weapons with you. It's still the Barrel.

Instead of climbing to the roof, you go through the front door of the crooked building. You step into a hallway, and when you look through an open door, you see something what looks like a combined dining room and kitchen.

Deciding it's a good place to start, you enter the room. There a few people there, none of which you recognise. They give you funny looks, but none of them speaks to you as they turn back to whatever they were doing.

You're standing there, unsure of what to do. Could you just walk up to Kaz' floor? Or would that be considered rude?

Right when you want to slowly turn around and walk the stairs, someone enters through a back door. You're relieved to see it's someone you recognise.

Nina walks up to you when she spots you.

'Y/N, right?' she says.

'Yes.' you say.

She smiles at you. 'You must be here looking for Kaz.' she says.

'How did you know?' you say.

Nina still smiles at you. 'He's always talking about you. He was convinced you'd accept his second offer. Is that why you're here?' she says.

'Yes, I want to talk to him, but wasn't sure if I could just walk up to his floor and knock on his door.' you say.

'Probably not.' says Nina. 'He might've made an exception for you, though. I'll take you upstairs.'

You follow Nina to the stairs.

'Why would he make an exception for me?' you ask her.

To your surprise, Nina chuckles.

'You're the only one to ever outsmart him. You've gotten his attention, and he's impressed by you.' she says.

'Really?' you say. 'But all the stories I've heard about him on the streets describe him as some indestructible, clever thief. Hard to outsmart.'

'He is hard to outsmart.' says Nina. 'Which is why he's so impressed by you. Here we are.'

You've stopped in front of a door. Nina looks at you, and with a wink, she knocks on the door.

'Come in.' says Kaz' voice.

Nina opens the door and gestures for you to follow her.

'Look who I found wandering around downstairs.' she says.

When Kaz' eyes fall on you, you can tell he's pleased to see you. He doesn't smile, but there's a hint of it in his eyes.

'Y/N.' he says. 'How's the cheap food?'

'Still horrible.' you say.

'Nina, leave us.' says Kaz.

'Give a yell when he attacks you with his cane.' says Nina, and she leaves the room and shuts the door behind you.

'I could probably guess why you're here, but I'd still like to know why Nina caught you wandering in the Slat.' says Kaz.

'Does that offer still stand?' you ask him.

'It does. he says.

'Then I accept it.' you say.

Now, he does smile. He stands and offers you a gloved hand, which you shake.

'Welcome to the Dregs.' says Kaz.

'I wasn't exactly sure if the job was still mine.' you admit.

'How so?' says Kaz, sitting back down.

'Well, I'd declined it twice. But then I got here and was told I'd impressed you.' you say.

'Did Nina tell you that?' says Kaz.

You nod. 'She said I'm the only one to outsmart you.' you say.

'Until I outsmarted you.' says Kaz.

'But I outsmarted you first.' you say with a smile.

'We'll get you a room at the Slat.' says Kaz, quickly changing the subject. 'We lost someone a few weeks back and the room's been empty every since. You can take it, it's on the second floor next to Jesper's room.'

'I'll move my stuff right away.' you say.

You get up and walk to the door. Just before opening it, you look at Kaz over your shoulder. 'Thanks.' you say. 'For the job.'

Kaz nods at you and you leave his office.

When you walk through the door and step out onto the street, you hear someone call your name.

You turn around to see Jesper and Wylan catching up with you.

'Hey!' says Jesper. 'Nina told us you accepted the job!'

'I did.' you say. 'Looks like I'll still do your jobs for you, only Kaz is aware of it now.'

Jesper places a hand over his heart. 'Already threatening us, you'll fit right in.' he says.

'Kaz gave me a room in the Slat, next to yours.' you say.

'We know.' says Wylan. 'He sent us to help you move.'

'Oh, I don't have a lot of stuff. I can manage on my own.' you say.

'Walk up and down three times by yourself, or once with our help.' says Jesper. 'And then we can invite you for your first drink at the Slat.'

'Alright then.' you say. 'You guys can help. If you let me buy the first round.'

'Agreed.' says Wylan.

With Jesper and Wylan's help, it indeed takes one trip from your old apartment to the Slat. You put your stuff in your new room, deciding to arrange everything later, and head back down.

You see Nina and Matthias have joined Jesper and Wylan, and right when you walk through the door you see Inej walking down the stairs.

Apparently, news travelled fast. They all welcome you and congratulate you on the job, telling you they can't wait to go on a job with you.

Just when you order the first round of drinks, Kaz comes downstairs as well.

He sits down next to you and grabs the glass Jesper offered him.

Kaz looks at you before raising his glass to make a toast.

'To Y/N, the newest addition to the Crows. And also the first person to outsmart me. I'm sure you're all going to make sure I will never forget that.' says Kaz.

You smile as they all raise their glass and say your name. You're glad you accepted his offer after all.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#lmao pAIN it ended :') #new in town #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #grishaverse #Kaz Brekker x reader #Kaz Brekker fics #Kaz Brekker fic #Kaz Brekker fanfiction #Kaz Brekker fanfic #Kaz Brekker fanfics #shadow and bone fics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction