#maybe it's none of those things

[breakoutbox]

Do you think shadow just… sat there for a little bit? (ID in ALT)

#this is a shitpost but i was also thinking of angst #so here’s a mixture #also this is me coping with the fact that NONE OF THEM WOULD SAY THOSE THINGS #ok maybe amy and tails would BUT NOT KNUCKLES #THATS NOT KNUCKLES AND WE ALL KNOW IT #sonic prime #sth #my art #art #artist on tumblr #fanart #doodle #digital doodles

[harbingersecho]

Lasombra fashion show?

Now how did you know I've been meaning to draw fashion 'shows' for all the clans…?

But! Here's some Lasombra fashion stuff for you!

+ bonus because I love bullying Lasombra abt their tech issues (:

#vtm #vampire the masquerade #clan lasombra #lasombra #outfit design #mine #*24 #ask #lasombra is kind of interesting/difficult imo in terms of making a fashion 'style' for them bc they're very varied internally #from corp goth shadow ceos to religious leaders to streetwise survivors. theyre unlike their counterpart ventrue in that their appearance #isnt rooted in sociological reasons as much as theyre personal ones imo. if that makes sense lol. but i tried to do a few different things! #something classically lasombra and then some more modern discreet + showy stuff. hope you like em? <3 #for me lasombra is like dark fuschia-violet-purple and gold. silk velvet and dark lace. and ofc religious symbols #none of these guys have backstories or names or anything btw i just threw shit together. its easier to make up styles for chs #that have a story or a personality but like. i cant put rafael in this stuff or whatever lol he's kinda boring fashion wise #i thought abt doing shadow fashion too but i was like. thats way too impractical. #i kinda wanna finish those tremere fashion 'sketches' too. and maybe do some of deja's outfits bc she's a fashionista. there's also my #outfit wips for rose who's a ventrue... but also i wanna do freaky sabbat outfits... and a toreador look book... and finish the new #nikifor tzimisce fashion looks... help mee. at least the tzimisce one is like 85% done i just gotta work on the extra stuff a little -_-

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Not to be a Regency woman about things, but I think a trip to Bath or the fresh sea air would do wonders for my constitution

#I just want to eat little cakes while wearing a pretty dress and listening to the sea #I can do none of those things in my landlocked area #except maybe wade into the river when it gets high #but this isn't a novel by Chopin

[samarecharm]

Its so funny that Makoto gets such an awful rep (usually bc of her treatment of Futaba), but going through the game again, Makoto is the one who leads the conversation into getting her to open up for the palace door. She immediately offers up the idea of just being honest with Futaba; no lies or soft words, just straight facts in a calm voice. She knew Futaba wanted the change of heart, badly enough that shed listen without having to be convinced by force. And when Futaba panics about having to open up, Makoto makes sure she has no chance of backing out (‘give me time to open the door’ ‘ten seconds’ ‘WHAT???!’). Its for her own good!!

I think it can come across as mean and overbearing and even insensitive, especially if you are someone who is sees themself IN Futaba, but Makoto is both incredibly caring, sisterly, and understanding during the entirety of her arc. Like most characters, fandom seems to completely warp and exaggerate very specific moments and traits and sum up entire personalities bc of it. Ryuji and him being stupid; Ann and her being loud and mean; Yusuke being dumb as shit and singleminded for NO discernible reason, etc etc. People took the snooping and her one vaguely insensitive comment (about futaba and her whole Thing) and decided that she was a cunt and a bitch that couldnt be reasoned with.

Its so bizarre. Im aware that every piece of media w vaguely assertive girls has this issue (Sakura, Katara, Aqua, etc etc) but its still crazy that this is prevalent. Shes like the direct mirror of Goro and he does not get this specific kind of hate (usually its ‘he backstabbed and blackmailed us so i hate him’). Sorry. I need to be a Makoto Apologist to protect her from the rest of the world. My girl did nothing wrong shes just weird. She thought she could fight a mafia boss and she was RIGHT! She WON!!!!

#chattin #makoto girl i love yuuuuuuu #makoto doesnt really treat as a younger sister #but she is protective of futaba and i think thats a little sweet. no one else really gets that attention #and she tries to be understanding w some futabas quirks but it confuses and frustrates her #its like two autistic teens on opposite ends of the spectrum trying to interact #‘girl who follows social rules bc her sister and adults told her to’ #and #‘girl who follows NONE of those social rules bc shes an outcast and never learned them’ #u know makoto has scripts for sooo many things #and she talks extra slow when shes trying to think of something new on the spot for a difficult interaction 😭 #BOTH of them have not been socialized in the best way #and are now dealing w having people who care about them and their thoughts and feelings #and theyre BOTH opening up and getting to be more expressive #they do not hate each other they are FRIENDS !!!! SISTERS EVEN…MAYBE!! #AND ANOTHER THING #no way we are calling her a cop when the game was made by ATLUS. certified Boot Lickers 😭😭😭😭😭 #same company that made a cop character that said ‘i cant stand the injustice of the police and i hate perpetuating it’ #and then made the cop stay a cop. like what.

[alexcabotgf]

not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again

#xenia.txt #when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day #not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like #i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good #from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky) #but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent #history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything #you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with #internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day #and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like #bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes #'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed! #it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi #that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion #^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally #and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo #as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to #braga share the results the people want to know!! #makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly #there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed #but that's also just my opinion #and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case #(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities) #all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about #i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files #but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case #hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place #true crime tw

[biohazard-inevitable]

Hair

They say that hair holds stories, that the style is what makes a man.

They say long locks make you a pansy and a real man should have it short lest they be mistaken for a girl.

Where I grew up, every man buzzed their hair down.

It was a shame for it to be long and shaggy, and mothers would fuss over you, insisting upon a haircut.

For girls, it was fine.

They could have hair as long as they wanted or as short as they needed, so long as it wasnt buzzed as short as a man’s.

Being anything else just wasn’t a thing round these parts where churches chimed every sunday, pastors clammoring around resturants and filling their quotas in a single lunch.

So I buzzed mine.

I tried as hard as I could to seem as manly as possible

To appear as bull of a brute as any cowboy should.

I wore all the boy things and had all the short boy hair.

My scalp was sensitive anyways, so I thought it didn’t bother me.

It was better shorter.

Wasnt it?

I still gazed and clammored about the anime boys I saw on screen or in Otome games though.

I gushed about how pretty they were with hair down their backs like a silken curtain, or whipping wild through the air like the mane of a lion.

Legolas was never deemed as not manly enough

Beither was Zen or inuyasha or the undertaker.

A crush, I supposed.

Because of course thats all it was.

I was a gay little boy with gay little crushes and my type was men with long, Beautiful hair.

Right?

My hair was a dull, discolored brown from the shimmering blonde it used to be, the blonde I remember from kindergarten.

I tried to return to that blonde with bleach.

My school didnt allow unnatural colors, so anything was better than that matted, oily brown.

Shaved short and as platinum as a ken doll, I should have been as man as ever.

4 years, I stayed like that, and while the short hair was easy to take care of, I felt as hideous as a pile of sludge.

It didnt matter if I was loved for my looks, I supposed.

Wouldn’t that be too vain of me?

Boys weren’t supposed to care about what they looked like, they werent supposed to coo and admire Beautiful hair or seethe in jealousy that their sister looked so much better and has such long, goregous hair.

It wasn’t until after high school that I began to explore.

Covid let me grow my hair out more, though I still trimmed the sides.

I let my bangs grow long and shaggy over my face, like a veil to hide me from the world.

Eventually I dyed it again, this time going with that green I had always wanted to try, the one I had seen on my favorite youtuber growing up, fluffy and emerald.

Still, for years more, I kept it short. Only allowing that fringe to hover over me as some sort of style.

Recently though, I’ve realized I want that hair that those anime men had.

I want that soft curtain rolling down my back like waves of an ebony river, flecks of mossy green dotting it like a miasma of toxin flowing through the oily black stream.

I want the hair like the ring girl

The people around me are foolish and prudent to think the length of ones hair makes you more or less of a man.

I know that now, and I’m glad I do.

I want to stop pretending not to like things

#long post #personal #idk what else to tag #hair #trans #transgender #just thinkin about How different i treat my hair these days #its more beautiful than its ever been and keeps being beautiful #i’ve been dying it for 8 years now #and i wouldnt change a thing #except maybe the length #ive always loved long hair #i just mever felt like i was allowed to have it as a man #because i was worried it would make me less masculine #and to some people it does #i get called ma’am a lot #even with my chin scruff #i have a high voice when i speak to customers #but none of that matters #this area wont recognize me no matter what i do #so im just gonna do things i like #and hope that those i love will respect me and how i wish to be called #which i know they will

[vii-spider]

having an interest in entomology is just.

hears about new bug

new bug famously looks/acts weird

looks up new bug to learn more about it

check its taxonomy

it's a hemipteran

every. fucking. time.

#bugs #hemiptera #bugblr #true bugs #i swear #hemiptera is just the Weird Fucking Guy order #none of those freaks are normal #except maybe stinkbugs #but god #you cannot tell me planthoppers and toe biters aren't the weirdest fucking things #entomology

[lottieurl]

like okay the thing is. the show is about characters who were hunting each other and eating each other in the wilderness so i just think. well. it was never gonna have a nat arc that tells her you're okay baby and your life has value sweetheart. like if it was a different show and nat simply had struggles with drugs and suicidal ideation because of the shit that happened with her abusive father and stuff and then she ultimately died tragically while trying to recover that could really be quite questionable but like. that's not the story? she wasn't getting better she was getting into a cult. that was led by the unstable old friend she was in a cannibal cult with before. she wasn't getting better she was getting into a cult mentality that's why her behavior was so strange people were thinking she's manipulating lottie when in fact she was just getting indoctrinated

i do NOT think it was meant to be a "redemption arc" either like i've seen people say. i do not think it was supposed to FEEL like redemption that's why it DIDN'T. you weren't supposed to be tearing up like oh but with this death she made up for everything they did out there. she never could! none of them ever can! it's not about that. i think it's supposed to be tragic in a preventable way to parallel jackie's death in a way. a different set of circumstances allowed her to survive in the wilderness and doomed her in the present. she saw a moose and brought people to the lake to make a hole in the ice and pull out the moose. the ice wasn't as strong in that place which is probably why javi stepping on there broke the ice. and she was gonna save javi but misty stopped her. and this time misty found her and called for everyone to come because she was there and nat's visions at lottie's cult set off the chain of events. and this time misty's attempt to save her just led to her death instead. nat's attempt to save lisa's life led to nat losing hers like javi's attempt to save nat's life led to javi losing his

#like totally there with you abt pacing or how many different changes to the script and editing could make this better #or how it felt like a bit too early to kill a modern timeline survivor but tbh i think probably juliette didnt want to stay on the show #i think she has a habit of not staying for long #but she wasnt getting better and sadly i do not think any of those characters are getting a happy ending #she was never gonna be allowed to recover #one of my literal issues is the walter bullshit bc it attempts to? what? insinuate there os someone they think #is* #is perfect for misty and she can live a life where she has Connection and Mutual Love #which! no she cant #in part bc he was never THERE #get rid of walter #anyways none of them are gonna get a happy ending #if modern timeline writing improves it will just mean things will get much worse for them all imo #echoing nat's words to jackie abt her being lucky bc things will get worse #like that maybe she was lucky to die first in the modern timeline bc things will get worse #anyway #thinking! #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets blogging #nat

[cliveguy]

what lives are people leading that doing 15-30 minutes of brain puzzles a day is something to talk to a therapist about

#um.txt #im assuming that's how long they take i don't play them lol #forever mildly irritated due to jealousy of the way middle class americans talk about therapy... #just realising i didnt read the last tweet sorry its 3am. well maybe you do have a problem then because none of #those things should take more than an hour.

[sneeb-canons]

Headcanon #57: Heart is the only one that knows how to play a wind instrument, that being the Alto Saxophone. (since an actual saxophone is only ever used in The Heart Acoustic)

#also attempts to play the soprano sax but those things never stay in tune so he doesn't try it much #soul looks and acts like a saxophone player but would end up playin like a flute or baritone {maybe mellophone} #also kinda looks like a flute player? but he's got loser saxophone vibe/j #i say as a saxophone player #mind acts like a clarinet player but talks like a trumpet player #none of this makes sense but know its totally canon/j #chonny jash #cj heart

[fisheito]

Resting body temperature headcanons based on pure speculation

#nu carnival #no i didn't put them at their proper heights they are all just existing randomly #yakumo is an icicle because i want him to be i need him to be #but does he technically go in the middle?? bc someone says “endothermic temperature regulation” #and yakumo will respond “who is that” #how can rei and Dante be similar resting temps but one is almost dead and the other has the energy to fight at the slightest provocation #i don't know #none of this is science #maybe Edmond got his baseline down after his desert training lol #something something muscles higher metabolism than fat something differing temperatures something #edmonds fat thighs are the only thing keeping him from heat stroke #kuya needs everything to be a crisp 17.6 degrees Celsius for optimal comfort #i don't even know why quincy is the king Master heat radiator 6000 #i have no evidence #just a feeling #this entire scale was sparked by the lingering idea that yakumo would enjoy using quincy as a personal heater #they started this #as soon as i finished this i started changing my mind on everyone #gOOD THING temperature isn't a forever one time value----- huh---!!!!! #garu reminds me of those tiny dogs u hold and they're just somehow so warm and their lil hearts beat so fast and you're just wondering #how yall keeping cool under all that fur??? i need to get u some watermelons to lie on #yakumo #aster #blade #rei #dante #kuya #edmond #eiden #olivine

[silenthillbunni]

hmm

#i just feel like i cant connect to anyone #i dont feel safe with anyone. ppl are so cold and callous #and in fact most ppl support and contribute to abuse & rape culture #and knowing that just makes me not feel safe or comfortable with them #thus i cant trust them w my experiences. i cant trust them at all tbh #+ i have a deeper connection w animals & nature and most ppl.. are so disconnected from those #i just dont feel.. ok with anyone #also the fact that i constantly have to mask. every interaction w ppl feels like a performance #everyone already has decided what they think others should be. and i dont fit into that. im none of it #so i feel sm like no one could understand me. and in turn i dont understand anyone either :/ #it's making me feel so so so so fucking lonely #my world views and experiences and everything are things i just cannot ignore #i simply cant shut it off and be w ppl regardless #and i know i cant expect to meet ppl EXACTLY like me. but i just want some that are kinda similar #sigh all of this is so hard to even put into words. it feels like im not explaining this properly #i just look around me sometimes and feel so extremely alone bc i cant connect w anyone. i just dont understand ppl at all. #and i just wanna feel safe and comfortable #maybe what im saying is that someone world views and morals etc are important to me #i cant connect with someone who denies a genocide for example #bc that is so fundamentally against who i am and what i believe in #but it is so fkn rare i cant even come up w an example of me coming across someone similar to mtyself #idk.. just dont wanna be alone

[fiona-fififi]

...

#are people really worked up over a possible 'brother' drop?? #none of you would have survived the spn fandom #sometimes brothers fuck it's fine #(no but for real though this feels like back in 5x04 when everyone got worked up over 'bud' and insisted they were bro-zoning them #when in reality 'bud' was a very deliberate and loving moment of affection using a pet name eddie reserves for those closest to him #so like. this should not be concerning y'all #a brother drop would be the equivalent of an 'i love you but i haven't figured things out' #or maybe an 'i love you and HAVE figured things out but you're currently taken and still figuring things out yourself and i won't overstep' #which. either way would be kind of delicious) #anyway #911 spoilers #911 discourse #911 speculation

[uselessgaywhovian]

so how's everyone else's saturday night going

#the first time was in college #my poor choice of living in the 'party' apartment complex #that dude was like. practically non-verbally drunk. had to call an ambulance for him. #he eventually did wander his ass back to the correct apartment #which meant the cops broke up their party #rip #tonight i was just getting ready for bed #and i heard something thumping around #and thought it might be the neighborhood cats having an altercation #or maybe the neighborhood fox #which you would think would prevent people from letting their neighborhood cats run loose at night but no #sadly it was none of those things #it was a drunk guy #who was convinced that my house was actually his house #and was trying to let himself in #fortunately a neighbor had seen him wandering around in the street #and called the cops already #anyway i got myself one of those things that you jam under your doorknob #to brace your door so people can't get it open #10/10 best $40 i've spent #because my dumb ass forgot to lock the front door #but i did remember to put my brace up #and the dude did not get in #i should get a second one for my bedroom now that i'm paranoid #i should write the company a review

[synthshenanigans]

Continuing from my last post bout Mind, we also need to talk more about how paranoid & untrusting/second-guessing your mind can be cause i think its very interesting

#as somone whos way too paranoid for its own good i like seeing it portrayed into mind #im not projecting you are shush #but like especially the way he sometimes assumes heart is lying or doing thing for attention/pity #cause its like when your brain would tell those things #or maybe thats just my mental illness talking #also not trying to paint heart as innocent here this was just a mind post #heart can also be a bit self centered or the whole claiming to be the victim thing #but also thats not bashing heart either i love the guy too #this is just me looking at some lyrics and how the characters operate and going #“omg hes just like me fr fr” and projecting #none of them are okay and its fun to characterize the reasons why #heart always claims to be the victim mind thinks hes better off without the rest & souls answer to the problem is to off everyone/himself #all bad thoughts but to heal we must take funny lil guys and make them sad #and project said feelings & thoughts unto them #okay im realizing a main reason i like hms/cjs music is i might relate to it too much #im fine i swear #i haven't even talked about the fact i like his two wuv hokum all ye faithful & hallelujah covers a lil too much #i need a cj's music trauma bingo card/j #okay rant over #chonny jash #cj mind

[guruguruguruguru]

the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...

there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things

#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because #i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on #even when people get left behind #it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well #like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors #and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day #because of those outside circumstances #and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya #and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable #the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else #anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair #sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it #obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept #part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for #his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl #i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta #its just my feelings about them in particular #haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest