#maybe ill bring her back . maybe ill revive her

[mysticalsoot]

you changed, it's good

A/N; soooo ive kinda been in a writing slump so take this fic thats been building dust in my docs- also tysm for 300!! hopefully ill come up w smth for it lol- I have no clue how to process that information omf

summary; months after wilbur's revival and his reunion with you and the daughter you share (that he didn't know about), you let out pent emotions and have a heartfelt talk with wilbur

tw// swearing, not lore accurate, im a wilbur apologist shush, children, suicidal mentions maybe? lmk if i missed anything

words; 1.8k

pairings; c!wilbur x gn!reader (they're parents), revivedbur x gn!reader

pronouns; none!

masterlist

—★—

The time since Wilbur’s death and revival may not have been that long, but for you, it felt like ages--you had a child now, his, yes but you’ve begun another life. A life with a little girl, a life without him. But now, he was here and he was trying. You appreciated it but god did you fear it too. The memories taunted you, the hurt and the aching that still lingered, haunted you. He haunted you.

Your head is rested upon Wilbur's chest, and the thumping of his heart echoes in your mind. His left arm wraps around your shoulder and your own arms around his middle. Your daughter, Willow lays against his other side, curled into a ball, and his other arm held tightly around her in comforting warmth. This moment is what you imagined life to be all those years, before everything…happened.

You seemed to always subconsciously wish for moments like these, at least, in the past few years. One’s where Willa has a parent other than yourself, someone else to hold her, and someone to hold you too. Domestic bliss, calm and serene. No wars or bombs, no screaming, and yelling. Simply the sound of your partner's heart and the sight of him holding your child. It's a reassurance of sorts, a silent "everything will be okay, even if it wasn't before". 

Things used to be so not okay that having this calmness is nice. Having his arms around you again is lovely, being able to kiss him and hold him, to watch him help raise your daughter, to play with her and hold her. Tickle her and carry her on his shoulders, hold her hand with his, and walk with her on the prime path. To teach her how to ride a horse, after bringing one home for her, and helping her name him.

"Wilbur?" You whisper to him, moving your head back, your gaze locked upwards on him. He looks down at you, a soft smile written on his features, and he tilts his head to the side.

"Yes, my love?" he leans down, leaving a soft kiss to your lips and you smile through it, the warmth in your stomach swelling the same way it did when you both were younger. You take a moment to admire him, the way his curls fall in his face, how his glasses are always crooked and now are no different, and how the small freckles he adorns sprinkle his cheeks. Everything about him is beautiful, and so it brings you back to what you wanted to say. What you need to say, what is right to say.

"What happened? After lmanburg? You were so…" Your mind goes blank for a word to properly describe it, without hurting him. Cruel, evil, manipulative, the list goes on. It's odd to you, how someone could become so horrible and then return to a better version of their old self in a matter of years. "Horrible, then. To everyone, to yourself."

His face falls, and so does your heart, falling to the deep pits of your stomach. You can feel the life drain from your face and it hurts. You feel an immense dread, and wonder if you hadn’t mentioned it, how you would feel. It's a difficult subject for him but at this point, you think it had to be brought up. How can one accept this happy domestic life without knowing the full truth?

"I got lost, I think. Lost in the greed I suppose." He pauses, dips his head down to press his forehead against yours. His eyes close and he takes a breath, his arm letting go of Willa and placing his hand on your cheek, fingers gently brushing the skin and his eyes hold a warm sadness to them, "I wanted the joy still, the happiness for our future. But it got pushed back. I was blinded. There's a lot I don't remember. I mean I remember pieces here and there. Bribes from dream, desperate attempts to make things work for everyone and everything."

"And then what? You realized hurting us was better?" You’re hostile now, something switching or rather, breaking in your heart. You know you shouldn't react this way, get defensive--but a piece of you is still painfully angry and hateful, filled to the brim with spite and it’s accidentally let through the cracks. You back up a moment, his touch leaving you, hand falling to his side, head still dipped down.

"I realized I couldn't make it perfect for everyone, there were sacrifices I had to make." He takes another deep breath, wraps his arms around Willow again, she doesn't move. "And I made the wrong ones, I know that. I see that." Wil looks down at the lump that his daughter forms, a little ball of a girl. She moves to grab onto his arm in her sleep and she hums, a soft smile adorns his lips.

You feel you should be satisfied with his answers, and half of you is, but you still wonder; "Why? Why did you do it?"

His gaze lets its grip off of Willow, walks up and he looks to you, pupils big and somber, bloodshot and wet. "To not hurt anyone anymore. It was for the best." 

You want to scream at him now, tell him how much of an idiot he is. Screams that are bloodcurdling, one’s that most definitely would wake up Willa and anyone surrounding the area. That no, killing yourself in fact does not stop the hurt, it only fuels it, like a spark to dead grass. He made Phil kill him, he made you watch as he destroyed his livelihood, your shared livelihood, watch as he's stabbed to death by his own goddamn father. It was never ending with him, it was always something new, something bigger, more painful than before. You want to storm away, back off, and not let him near you for a split second, it's all an overreaction, you tell yourself but you simply can't help it.

You stare at him for a moment, your expression blank and emotionless. Willow turns onto her back, eyes open slightly and her arms reach up to Wil. "Hey, daddy." She mumbles out, a smile of her own sculpted onto her features. Wil smiles back.

"Hello, my love. Are you ready for bed?" He asks, lifting her up by her sides and gently sitting her on his lap. She nods sluggishly, and she rests herself against him, chest to chest, head on shoulder, and tiny arms wrapped around his neck. "Let's get you into bed then, sweetie."

You just watch, your eyes follow him as he walks out of the living room, into the kitchen, and down the stairs. You sit there, alone now. Thoughts cycle through your mind. All the things you had wished for, every thought that graced your consciousness, every question unanswered for years. You missed him, you really truly did. But you aren’t sure who you missed more, and is the one you missed, the one you lie with at night? The one that wraps his arms around you in the morning, leaves a sloppy kiss on your cheek, and brushes the hair out of your face. The man that waits there, holding you, until Willow comes rushing in the room to ‘wake’ you both up. The same man that shushes you lovingly and says "Pretend you're asleep, love," the moment he hears her bedroom door open, so she can have the satisfaction of waking you both.

You now rest your head on the back of the couch, your gaze focused on the window on the opposite side of the room. Snow gently falls past it, frost taken over the glass. The fire crackles and warms you like a hug. 

What feels like moments later, even warmer arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to the body they're attached to. "Wil?" You call out, your voice coming out gravelly, and you realize you must've fallen asleep.

"Hey.." It comes out weak, the word feels broken and sounds broken. "I'm sorry, for all the shitty things I've done. I know my reasoning isn't nor has it ever been valid. But I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, and I don't have any plans of mass terrorism." His voice becomes clearer, breaks up less and he dips his head down again, pressing his cheek against yours. You nearly open your eyes, but keep them closed, and revel in the feeling of him more. 

"I know." You pause, and let your own arms wrap around him, but instead of his middle like he has you held--you wrap your arms around his neck, your hands weaving into his mop of curls. "I think part of me still hurts, it's stupid I guess." You rest your head on his shoulder, and he pulls you closer, your legs now wrapped around him too.

"It's not, I hurt you. I take accountability for that and I hate that I even did it in the first place." His voice cracks again, and you know he means it. You pull back, your hands pressed against his cheeks and he looks up at you.

You hesitate, mulling over the words falling off his lips, his expression knotted in anxiety. Your thumbs run over his pink-tinted cheeks and you kiss his forehead.

"If you were that same person, you wouldn't say that." You take a breath, "I think you've changed. In a good way."

He sighs, wrapping his arms tighter around you. "I hope I have."

“I know you have,” You pause, grasping his face in your hands and getting him to pull back simply so he can gaze at you.

“How?” His voice is merely a croaked-out mumble but it’s enough that you hear it loud and clear.

“Would you be here, in my arms, after putting our daughter to bed if you hadn't changed?" You paused, eyes gazing deeply into his and searching for any doubt to crush with your words, "Would you even search for us if you were that same man? For good, not to hurt us."

He shakes his head, "I changed, didn't I?"

"In the best way possible." A soft kiss placed on his lips, one of love and devotion. A simple peck speaking every word and emotion you've ever felt--but only the good.

He smiles against the kiss, grasping at your sides and pulling you closer and closer to him. You were already so close, practically one, but he felt the need to pull you so much closer that not only were your bodies one, but so were your souls.

He pulls away from the kiss, hands resting on your face, "I love you," he nuzzles his nose against yours and you giggle, twisting your fingers into the curls on the back of his head, "so much." The last bit is whispered, like a quiet promise. A promise of devotion and loyalty. Something you're glad to finally have. 

There's nothing in the way of him being with you. With your daughter.

"I love you more," You smile to him softly, a kiss placed on his forehead, and you push stray curls out of his face as he nuzzles his head against your chest.

taglist; @ella-fella-bo-bella @lillylvjy @sleepyburs @lotusanonymouse @lcvejoy

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #c!wibur #c!wilbur x reader #c!wilbur #c!wilbur soot #c!wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur soot x y/n #dsmp x reader #dsmp wilbur #dsmp wilbur soot

[dozyrogue]

Hey I'm an old tubbling (dsmp days) that hasn't been really keeping up with the qsmp but knows some of tubbo's lore. What's all this about a revived tubbo? If you don't mind explaining of course.

Hiii anon!! As you hopefully remember tubbo does a lot of subtle lore so the only way to understand the revival is if u get some conext before that. Sorry if it gets just a little bit rambley

I will do my best to explain but for some background ever since maybe purgatory 1 qtubbo has been spiraling. Then he got sunny and genuinely tried to be good for her. And he was!! Hes a great dad to sunny but qtubbo is very mentally ill.

Then he got kidnapped for purgatory 2 and came back significantly worse. He became very passively suicidal, like he didn't outwardly say he wanted out, but from his actions you wouldn't know any better. At least from chats pov. Like he would jump off the top of tubchunk and get downed and sunny would be forced to revive him. "Accidentally" falling off the wall when hanging with phil. Going against the eye workers and just not caring how many times he died. It was pretty bad.

He started feeling like all his friends didn't really care for him and only wanted to use him for the factories he made and the supplies he had created. Then fit and pac got together and again he got significantly worse. So because the relationship that is morning crew changed even tho they claimed it wouldn't. Tubbo started actively pushing people away. Like he would purposely be suppppper fucking annoying and loud and abrasive. It was like he was testing who would stay with him even if he was being a dick. And basically no one passed really. Like even sunny would constantly go to fit or pac or bagi. Saying she doesnt know how to help her dad, he needs help, plz help him. And they would all respond in some variation of "aaahhh its just tubbo!!! Hes fine. Hes just being dramatic." Or assume its about fred.

On top of that because of tubbos mental stability. He couldn't really help Sunny's with her feelings and mental stability.

And I wanna mention all the eggs could see him rotting away and they would mention it too their parents, but they were like "well keep an eye on him" but didn't exactly do much. At least from tubbos pov

But moving on to the new island/spawn point.

For the most part he didn't really interact with morning crew at first. He was with foolish and the town of fobo and he was so fucking happy!!!! It was awesome!! Like even sunny was so excited that tubbo was happy again. Foolish and town of fobo was a new start for him and he felt appreciated. But everything changed when create was put behind a pay wall (I love atla lmao)

So foolish got to get to work on town of fobo projects but tubbo was feeling extremely useless. He couldn't participate in the only way he knew how. create.

He felt useless without a purpose, and was trying hard to get the money for create. He had his high with the beginning of town of fobo but this new create playwall would be the star of a new low. He was once again actively rotting in front of his friends especially his daughter and only she and a few eggs really noticed. His friends would laugh and giggle that hes being dramatic. He was rotting away again in real time. Faster than before really. Tubbo was lacking purpose, he was useless in his eyes and started looking for a purpose, a reason to keep living.

How did he find that you're wondering??? By getting two lives. So one day we had a bunch of the eggos with him. One being empanada and he brought up the fact she's the only egg with one life. How that sucks and if he could he would give a life up for her. Empanada of course refuses. But he keeps going and was like "oh you know what would be really cool..... Only having 2 lives and if I die I don't come back for good." *stares at chayanne*

Empanada is refusing and hes like "naaahh it would be really fun and cool tho." She even tries to get him to stop by bringing up sunny. And he stops for a millisecond and says something like "sure she wouldn't like that too much but I'll be fine" so now he's on two lives.

The thing is tubbo was not hiding this information, like he brought it up all the time. "I have to be careful I only have 2 lives" then he lost one. "I only got one life then I'm dead dead." Feb 13 he almost lost it due to radiation (he will never escape the nuke aesthetic lol) and the next day valentines day he dies.

And I have to make it very clear tubbo keeps telling everyone hes working on one life. He only has one life. Hes doing hardcore. Everyone thought he was joking. So on valentines he went out with a group consisting of sunny, fit, ramon, phil, chayanne, chunsik, and richarlyson. They wanted to compete a dungeon together and tubbo was down for it.

Tubbo ended up making a beat with richarlyson that he ended up losing. Richas killed him, qtubbo ended up dying begging for fit to help him but he died anyway. But it wasn't like last time he didn't come back. Fit basically left immediately sunny was left just standing over her dads body in shock. Chayanne also thought he was joking this whole time but unfortunately learned that he was being serious. And phil was there to just laughing saying tubbos being dramatic lol. No one took his death seriously, like they were all joking and laughing in front of his daughter saying he was having a tantrum and would be back when create is back. The only other person who understood sunny was chayanne.

People only started takeing his death kinda seriously was after creation showed up. The eggs did at least

Now creation is a robot that a ~version of~ qtubbo made to protect the eggs. More importantly protect sunny. Especially in the event that "primary protector" aka tubbo is gone. So late during the valentines stream on phils end, creation shows up confirming that qtubbo is dead dead and hes not coming back unless creation has the proper data. His purpose. The only way to get tubbo back is to bring him back with his purpose

And now I can finally talk about this weeks streams. Creation comes and we are shown the message that was left for sunny. Saying he doesn't know how he got himself into this, and how sunny shouldnt have to hear this message. How he expects any of the adults there to care for her. He knows he hasn't been a good example of self care. But he explains that he will have no idea that he left the message, he will have no idea that the message will even exist. There's only 2 people that can show u this message, and he promises that he will make sure she will never see either of their faces. He apologizes and explains that he never expected to have to take care of anyone else. Goes on to say if he had known he was going to care for someone else he would have never signed up for this kind of "scheme" or "operation." We don't exactly know what hes talking about tho.

He again emphasizes that the friends that we have will take care of her. And how he refuses to believe that they would let anything happen to her. And tells her to keep going and have fun in life because she's just a kid. Then we were cut back to creation who finds sunny saying he needs to find people to help bring him back. They end up with a group consisting of bagi, sunny, empanada, and chayanne and they work together to get what creation needs to bring back tubbo. Its old smooth stone, form a mod, thats before the rest of the islands time. The old order creation stated. And eventually find a secret room in town of fobo, that bagi decodes a book to get the data needed to bring tubbo back. Builds a contraption and creation dies but tubbo is alive again!!!

Then we have the next stream and tubbo is back,,, but he's different-

he comes out of lava and only remembers dying and he thinks he's been gone a day at best. He learns that only fit helped sunny. He doesn't want to believe, but its mostly true. But oddly enough he plans to murder people cuz how dare people not take care of her. Hes more aggressive, he keeps making threats of murder and only sunny is safe it seems. Hes massively holding grudges as well.

they woke chayanne up and hes basically jumping on him and yelling lmao. Claims chay doesnt care cuz he didn't wake up immediately and isn't happy hes back. And like chatters know chay was genually fuck up after losing tubbo. But dude is s c r e a m i n g at sleeping chay.

Chay wakes up, they go outside and end up talking, learned he was gone a week but hes very loud not understanding the vibes of 2 depressed children who missed him very much. He keeps trying to speak but the windchimes are pissing him the fuck off to the point he rips them down. Noises in general is really pissing him off, like things that normally would be really quiet like fire places and the motor boats he gets really angry cuz he claims its really loud.

Just overall being a Menace. Like Chayanne apologized for hitting him and Tubbo was like "oh it's okay it's okay I understand but I will simply take note of that and you'll never know when I'll Strike Back." So he's threatening even the eggs even If he is joking. Qtubbo never use to do that, some.of the eggs ruined his farm and it sent him into a tirade of just talking about how things build up and up and up how they turn into large cracks in the wall and eventually the wall will break. But as he's doing this he practically yelling but aggressively. Also threatened chat saying he can prove how scary he can be lmao.

And was constantly asking people who they think the worse parent of the island is. Sunny and chay were just tryna see where he is mentally. But hes like cornering chay "DONT I LOOK FINE, IM ALL GOOD, WHATS WRONG???"

In other words hes very angry???

Fit was just existing and man's dogged on him "what you think you're so much better than me with your spit shine bald head of yours" and anytime any of the group would try and talk away from him hes just "ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME???" "WHATS HAPPENING, IS THIS ABOUT ME"

Oh and he keeps mentioning the little time people have left.

Like I said some of the eggs ruined Sunny and Leo's farm and he starts off calmish??? But just gets angrier or aggressive is a better term?. Planning to just stand over richas's bed and stare at him. Hes giving arg kinda need to draw that ngl.

He gets mad that the lil group of fit, chay, Sunny, and ramon for fixing the farm that the other eggs destroyed. And fit is trying to like convince him that it's okay like they're just kids it's a mistake. And fit is like it isnt your house so it's okay and tubbo is like "fit I think you're undermining my feelings how is that okay." And fit is just like "oh but it's just like a little thing so it's no worries." And this is how tubbo goes on his "chips and cracks in the walls monologue" that sums up his character perfectly.

Soooo yeeeaaaahhh revived tubbo something else

#qsmp tubbo #yes I could have constricted what I said more but I feel like that be really hard considering how tubbo presents lore #for me at least #qsmp creation #tubbo #imagine ctubbo's passive suicidel idiation but way worse #tw self destructive behavior #tw sui ideation #tw death #i know theres words wrong here and i can only fix so much #took me forever to write these i just feel like theirs so much context needed #this took me a hot minute to write #it's my magnum opus #asks #i wrote all of this and still feel like i didnt really asker the question

[xyfanficarchive]

labor of love

norman bates (psycho 1960) taxidermies you (romantic) (gender neutral)

or, the strange mentally ill erotic fantasy of someone cutting me open and just getting all up in my guts (Nicely,) has surfaced from the old deep deep deep dark days of my life and now has a place ig?

cw death and detailed gore; cw fucked up content in general but if you saw this title and are still reading further you already know whats up, you sicko ;) this is unedited word vomit style typed directly into the tumblr post editor, bcs it was very very slow today and this was better than ruminating myself into an actual mental breakdown at freaking work so this is for the absolute freaks and please dont come for my ass if anything in the getting taxidermied by norman bates fanfiction isnt accurate

in thinking about the potential endings for an extended norman and reader romance... i think it would be such an extraordinarily delicate balance to manage a relationship and try to help him while avoiding the shitshow of human rights violations that was psychiatric care in the 1960s. and maybe you could manage it but if you couldn't......... perhaps he was hiding the true extent of his illness, even well into your relationship, even after getting married. some act of repression, of course he didn't want to scare you away and he was so certain he would, and nobody had ever loved him like you did and nobody ever would again. but ya just can't bottle it up like that without building and building the pressure... and to have a relationship, to have sex with you and marry you and try to be happy WITHOUT HER, oh what a grievous transgression to the ignored Norma, cast away to the far recesses of his awareness, he's managed to hold onto control for this long but the situation will simply not do, and she'll just have to eliminate the disgusting little bitch who stole her son away from her, take the reins back in a moment of weakness, of fracture -

and norman wakes up in a place he doesn't remember, in clothes he doesn't remember, but he remembers the fight and the fevered pitch of your voice, the wide-eyed fear in your face, his mixed up train of thought derailing, crashing, and the sound of his mother screaming in his ears. not a hint of a thought of what happened enters his mind as he retraces the trail of blood through the house, empty and automatic and despairing but still not connecting the ideas together until he actually finds the mangled heap of your body slumped on the floor, with the sick metallic smell of clotting blood, a dizzying lake of deep red bigger than he'd ever seen before surrounding you.... it's so shattering that he is disconnected even from the impulse to vomit, though he drops to his knees and screams and screams and screams...... and his mother is nowhere around to help him, and you're gone gone gone, forever! forever! but no! he hears your voice in his ear, soft though it startled him: "no, you can still save me, don't you remember? you've done it already before, norman, save me, save me before it's too late...!"

you're still even warm by the time he brings you down to the basement, cradling you in his arms and staining the clean clothes mother had gone out of her way to dress him in, still limp dead weight, he puts you on the table where he does his taxidermy and kisses your lips with blood on your mouth, pets your hair, coos a billion apologies. "oh my love, i should have never ever let this happen! i promised myself i would never let this happen to you that i would never let her hurt you im sorry im sorry im sorry i tried i tried!!" screwing his eyes shut at your body in front of him, crying tears that dripped onto your skin. and you shush him, your voice comes like a bell calling him in the darkness "i love you norman, i forgive you, but you must work fast now, you have to work fast to revive me!" he opens his eyes, far gone, nods fervently into your lifeless face, knowing that this would be very hard, and very easy, in that he had done it dozens of times before but not on this scale and not this fresh. he strokes the soft skin of your cheek, flits over to bring his tool kit near and then strips your body bare to begin his work - but he already has to stop, go up to the linen closet to bring towels and a bucket of water to clean the blood and gore off your skin, revealing in detail every grisly angry slash, stab, loose flap of skin that should still be all connected, should be, norman cries, with only an extremely dim awareness that it was his own hands that wrought this upon you. but he would fix it, he would suture your lovely flesh back together last, after the bulk of the work was done.

it takes significant effort to cut you with the same blade that he had cut birds and other small creatures with but he made it through all the layers of skin and fat and muscle, cut flaps to splay your belly open for easy access. and the inside of your body. explodes with colour and detail that he had never seen on this scale before. your insides were all shining red, and translucent membranous pink, with lipid yellows, greenish and brownish hues, pearlescent white fascia and winding lines of purple-blue connecting everything. and then he trembles all over seeing it his hands shaking violently, already slick with blood, as they approach the opening, and you comfort him, sweetly in his ear, "calm now, my love, i'm in good hands, i know i am, but you need to stop shaking, you need to be gentle." "i know, im just scared. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry..." "i trust you, norman." he steeled his nerves and then slips his hands oh so, so gingerly into the wet, the slick and smooth mess, the winding intestines, cold on the surface from contact with the air but still warm underneath, and he only loves you more and more and more that you trust him like this, that you let him do this to you, putting your faith in him to revive you.

he was struck by the intimacy of it, he was so close, closer than anyone else in the world had been to you, even closer than sex, up to his forearms in your body cavity, with all the beautiful unseen parts that had sustained your living body for so long, all those years........ you would have to learn a new kind of life now, with him. he scoops the intestines, they spill over the sides onto the table, attached at either end, and he realized he would have no place to actually put any of this once he removed it, he took the bucket with red translucent water and tipped it over into the floor drain. then, bringing it near, cuts your entire digestive tract free, placing it gently in the bucket. looking down at the heap inside, he feels a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and reached up to wipe it with the bloodied back of his arm. then, the pancreas, the kidneys and bladder, the liver (some cultures thought the liver was the seat of human love, he thinks), everything is so connected, tubes and gossamer-thin tissues that he has to dissect to separate the parts out. he has to reach underneath your ribcage to cut your lungs free, they sink in and deflate more as he works, and puts them too on top of the rest of your organs. then, last, your heart - he hesitates, and trembles, feeling the imperative to be especially delicate now, as if the muscle might disintegrate under his touch. but he feels around, remembering the anatomy diagram of the heart he'd learned so many many years ago, cuts free the three arteries connected to the aorta, the pulmonary vessels, both venae cavae, and suddenly he is holding the fist-sized organ free in his hand. he set his knife to the side and then reached in again, cradling the muscle in both of his broad palms as he brought it out into the light, letting out a shuddering breath - your heart! oh it was your actual heart, the heart that loved him, the heart that once beat in your chest, that he listened to countless nights to soothe himself, pressing his ear to your sternum. he sees the fatal gash the knife made, he turns his head and leans his ear in, though he knows it's silent anyways he almost starts to sob, "keep it," you say, and he startles "keep it, my love, it's yours, it was always yours" and he looks up into the ceiling "really? are you certain?" forgetting the anguish, and he feels your confirmation, your permission, as the warmth of your love. then, looks down at the deep red knot of muscle, presses a tender kiss there, and holds it to his chest, mirroring his own living heart. with reverence, he sets it on the table in his view and continues on -

it's best practice to remove the bulk of the skeletal muscle, too, and so he opens the skin on the arms that held him close, the legs and thighs that he'd had bliss between, and frees the long corded masses - the ones in the limbs come out of the body clean and compartmentalized, attached to the bone really only by two tendons on either end, separating easily from each other. this was by chance one of the largest buckets he had in the house but now it was full top with all your externalized insides, and the slippery smooth remainder of your muscles went to the floor - it was only a short distance to the furnace anyways, and all of this would have to go to the furnace, into the fire, you wouldn't be needing them anymore, and everything would have to be clean, clean, clean after. and now your body was ready for treating with the chemicals - there might not be enough, but it would have to do - and the sawdust which only seemed to come in large quantities, and it's easy, easy, art to craft the contours of your body that he learned, he knows from memory. he closes with care the long incisions he had made, making the flesh edges meet neatly all down the length of your limbs, up the i-shape he made on your abdomen and then, the awful wounds, slashes and gashes all over he sutures at last with a lingering feeling of sorrow, that dissipates when, finally cutting the last thread, he sees the miracle of life bloom forth on your face out from the monochrome of death "norman!" you smiled, with recognition in your eyes from where your head was limply rolled to the side

he smiled back at you, euphoria like a thrill of electricity tingling through his body as he reached out to cup your face - of course the fact he didn't have a sufficient amount of preservatives and anything didn't matter because it had little to do with the process of reviving anyways. it was all in the effort itself, in the way he marked his own soul in order to remake you and have you forever, it was in that labor of love where the actual transformation was made. he stroked his thumbs on your cheekbones, leaning over you and sobbing out "yes, yes, yes, yes, it's me, i'm here!!"

"you did it, i knew you could, i knew you would save me, norman."

"i could do anything for you, i would do anything for you!"

"i'm so cold now down here in the basement, i feel so weak and exhausted after everything... would you please help me get dressed?"

your bloody clothes were all heaped on the floor and he sniffled, blinking the tears from his eyes. "oh, those are all completely ruined..... I'm sorry... I'll take you up to the bedroom now, okay? and we'll get you into pajamas, and then you can just sleep for however long you need." and you would need the sleep - it was a strange and difficult new life to adjust to, being so dependent on him now for so many things, and you would never be able to leave the house anymore, which would likely be as hard for you as it was at first for his mother. but might get easier for you faster, he thought, as you had both found many more interesting things to do inside than he and his mother ever had in nearly thirty years until you came along. he kisses you on the forehead, and gently lets your head down, before he shifts his arms underneath you and scoops you up in a bridal carry, the whole weight of you in his arms as he carries you up the stairs to the main floor, then turned, climbing up and up again

"i was so scared when she killed me, Norman." Your voice makes his lip tremble as he looks down into your eyes, "but I know i'm safe now with you."

"Yes, you're safe here with me... You'll be safe here with me forever..."

He can feel the vibration of love coming off you, that keen resonation, it was always always there though he never managed to put it to its name, his heart absolutely swells with the sensation, love, pure ecstatic love! you were his one love and the most precious thing he had ever encountered in his life and now he could keep you safe from everything, forever, with him! oh, it didn't work out as nice for you as if it has never happened in the first place, but he could feel a new tension and energy, a precipice on which he was looking out at a new and encompassing depth of your bond, of your relationship, and he only had to dive in with you. he was almost even excited to start this new and beautiful era of your life together.

#norman bates x reader #norman bates #slasher x reader #slasher fandom #psycho 1960 #i dont know man freaks come around i need the freaks to see this #x.wordvomit #x.writing #does this count as a cry for help? #jk guys im fine (i want norman to taxidermy me and act out my life so i dont have to live it myself) #barely read hit post

[executables-sims]

Get to know you: Sims Style

Thank you so much for the tag, @goatskickin! :D I am ill rn, so please excuse the rambling. x) Long post ahead!

What’s your favorite Sims death? Maybe fright? I've only ever had it happen once via ghost, the anim is pretty funny. :)

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? My Simblr probably says otherwise, but I don’t have a preference! I’ve had nearly every possible CC style under the sun throughout my years of playing, and I constantly think about reviving my 'semi-realism' folder (living vicariously through you, other simmers!). I didn't play with CC until early 2006 though, so MM is a little bit more nostalgic. :)

Do you cheat your sims weight? Hell no! I'm still in awe of Nysha's townie body diversity mod finally letting townies be fat. :D I wish the game had a better way of managing bodyshapes so I could add more variety that way.

Do you move objects? Of course!

Favorite Mod? Of all time? Impossible! My continued interest in gameplay is always because of new mods. :)

I did gain a new outlook thanks to a mod recently, though! My wild romance sim Blaze Biermann ended up 'mood swinging' to fortune before he went to uni, and instead of reverting, it got stuck.

He had a few flings still (pleasure secondary), but after he returned home and met his daughter (for the first time since her birth), he started cringing whenever I directed him to romance his dates. It felt like he had grown as a person, and I loved it!

TL;DR: Randomly change your sims' original aspiration/s to give them interesting character arcs! First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack? I mean, not my decision, but our first TS1 EP was Hot Date. I'm pretty sure I got TS2 EPs/SPs in order of release (miss those days of unwrapping a new one every birthday/christmas!).

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing? We're LIVE, baby! 🎥

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? I don't usually get very attached to my first-generation sims, but maybe Evonne Milos, from the gameplay/story hood I accidentally destroyed in four days? Never actually played her, but I had a lot of ideas for a corrupt 'sexpot' politician. x)

Have you made a simself? Lots! 99% of the fun I had playing TS2 as a kid was me and my best friend making ourselves and our respective crushes of the week, and we'd always live in one of those Veronaville lots that was two houses connected by a balcony. I can't even tell you the amount of times she got me pregnant against my wishes whilst I went to the bathroom, lmao.

Which is your favorite EA hair color? For colour consistency, probably brown? But there are a lot of brunettes in Brunwick (must be the name!), so I enjoy the recessives popping up in gameplay. :)

Favorite EA hair? Does an EA download count? Jeanette is lovely.

Favorite life stage? Ohhh dude, that's so difficult to answer. They all bring different challenges and dynamics to the household! I feel like I've started to appreciate the child lifestage more since Brunwick has grown large enough to have multiple friendship groups. It's fun watching them goof around with each other and be actual kids, instead of sitting indoors skilling. I really need to build a park! :)

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Are you a CC creator? Yes, I really love how this game has led me to so many creative hobbies! Would like to tackle BHAVs one day. :)

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad? Yeah! I consider us all friends over our shared enjoyment of the game really, but as a chronic lurker I'm not the best at cultivating connections. x) Does anyone wanna make a secret club? xD

Do you have any sims merch? No, but I do have a bunch of rad sims memories. 👉😎👉

Do you have a YouTube for sims? Nope, but I watched plenty of sim music videos back in the day! Found a lot of songs that way. :) Some formative memories here: One / Two

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing? I sadly don't have screenshots of my oldest saves thanks to a combo of no external HD and no screenshot program, but here's one example:

But gameplay-wise, a lot! My early years were probably based around creating stories more than actively playing, but when I did I would just emulate perfect families, attempt legacies, and restart BG hoods over and over. x)

Now I'm all about wants-based gameplay; witnessing and interpreting a story, as opposed to creating one from scratch. But I will add drama if I find my interest waning! x)

Who’s your favorite CC creator? Again, super-duper impossible to answer because everyone's CC makes the game fun, but my most recent CC shopping spree was Honeywell and HugeLunatic! :) 🛒

How long have you had Simblr? Technically 2011, officially 2013, but if we're being pedantic, I finally made a dedicated Simblr (this) in 2016. x)

How do you edit your pictures? These days, just sharpen and shrink! CC previews aren't too complicated either- a blurred out screenshot for the BG and a shadow.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite? Ooh… maybe Nightlife, by a smidgen? I feel like it gave us a lot of new features and items, and the subhood was nice (as a non-builder at the time!).

Tagging: @daman19942 @aondaneedles @eulaliasims @profesionalpartyguest @tvickiesims @and everyone else, I love reading these! :D

#Tag meme

[diaryofellen]

thank you for voting, everyone!! well done for campaigning for your characters and getting them through round one. some characters put up very tough fights, and others.....maybe weren't as evenly matched as they maybe could have been, haha.

before the main brackets continue, heres an extra chance to get two of the eliminated characters back in the running! yeah, two! ..but it might be a little confusing, so bear with me!

there will be larger polls for the loser rounds. the characters from the left who have been eliminated; Rachel Gardner, Niko, Goldia, and Aki Narukami. the characters from the right who have been eliminated; Russell Seager, Sunny, Noel Cerquetti, and Aya Drevis.

these characters will be put into two 4-option polls. one for the left side, one for the right side. for now, i'm just using the left side as an example.

this is the chance to get one of these characters back in the game if you think they didn't get justice! for the first part of the revival polls, simply vote who you want to see get a second chance, and the one with the most votes can be revived. but there's a catch. whoever is brought back will be replacing one of the characters who already survived, from their respective side.

focusing on the left side, lets say aki is gets the most votes for the character who will be given another chance...then, the next poll is to decide which of the survivors from the left side will get eliminated for her sake.

one of the characters who survived the first round will have to be eliminated to make space for the revived character! in this poll, it will clearly state that the person who gets the most votes here will be eliminated. so unlike the other polls, you'll want to avoid voting for the characters you want to win! i understand thats maybe a bit confusing - but if a poll doesnt have that added statement, its safe to assume that all other polls are just for voting the character you want to succeed. just make sure to read carefully during the revival round! vote for characters you actively dislike, ones you like the least out of the options, ones youve never heard of….just dont vote for the character youre rooting for when it says "you are voting for a character to be eliminated" .and dont get mad at me if you click wrong, im trying to make it as clear as i can.....

if claire elford got voted the most in this example, then aki and claire would simply swap places - claire would get eliminated, and aki would be back in the brackets up against madotsuki in the next main round. of course, im just using aki and claire as...... examples.

(...it is just an example.)

...yes, this is a slightly annoyingly confusing way to do this. i know. i really want to avoid having a three-way vote in the final round, so if we're going to bring back some of the eliminated characters, they'll have to swap places with one of the survivors. ˢᵒ ʷʰᶦˡᵉ ᶦ ᵍᵉᵗ ᶦᵗˢ ᶦʳʳᶦᵗᵃᵗᶦⁿᵍ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵇᵉ ⁿᶦᶜᵉ….ᶦ ᵈᶦᵈ ᵗʳʸ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ ˢᶦᵐᵖˡᵉ….

if you're still a little confused, you're free to ignore the replacement/revival round! ill tag it all posts associated with it as #revival round . if this is a bizzare and annoying way to set up a losers round, then feel free to blacklist that tag.

#revival round

[princesssarisa]

More "Little Women" thoughts: Beth March and ableism (warning: very long)

@littlewomenchannel, @thatscarletflycatcher, @joandfriedrich

A few days ago, I was looking for articles about ableism in 19th century literature (because some of us casually do that sort of thing) when I came across this review of Little Women. It's a sad review: the author writes that Little Women was her favorite childhood book, but now, as an adult, she can't enjoy it anymore, because she's come to recognize the "ableism" of the portrayal of Beth's illness and death. As a chronically ill person herself, she used to enjoy identifying with Beth and looked to her as a role model. But now she realizes that this probably fed her own internalized ableism and taught her to suppress her feelings about her illness, because of the way Beth is admired for never complaining while she's sick. She also objects to the fact that Beth (a) has no ambitions or dreams for the future, as if sick people "aren't allowed" to have them, (b) is portrayed as "too good and pure for this earth," and (c) is used as "inspiration porn" to teach Jo and the other sisters to be better people.

I've written in the past about how much I dislike most of the commentary I've read about Beth's character. Without a doubt, critics tend to view her in ableist ways. But only in the past year, with this review as the culmination, have I considered that maybe her portrayal in the book itself is ableist. While I'm not chronically ill, I relate to Beth for different reasons, and I wish I could argue that her portrayal isn't ableist at all: not only for my own sake, but so the above reviewer could enjoy her former favorite book again. But that's impossible to argue. Still, I'd like to take some time to look at Beth's portrayal, through the lens of disability, illness, and premature death in fiction, and the complexities of how it handles those issues.

There's no denying that the book uses Beth's illnesses as a device to inspire growth in the other characters. In Part I, her scarlet fever is written chiefly as an ordeal for Meg, Jo, and Amy, which serves their coming-of-age journeys, and in Part II, her final illness and death once again serve the others' development. Namely by teaching Jo to be kinder and more patient, by reviving Jo's writing career as she works through her grief by turning back to her pen, and by finally bringing Amy and Laurie together as a couple. Of course using a sick or disabled character's suffering and death mainly to serve the healthy, able-bodied characters' personal growth is an ableist tradition, just like the "women in the refrigerator" trope (sacrificing female characters for male characters' development) is sexist.

There's also the fact that Beth is admired, both by Jo and by Louisa May Alcott's narrator voice, for being patient and uncomplaining throughout most of her sickness (though not through all of it– more on that below), rarely even asking for help or care, and "trying not to be a trouble" even as she nears death. Of course we should question the old tradition of glorifying people, especially women and girls, who efface themselves for others and who never complain no matter how much they suffer. Whether their suffering is illness, abuse, poverty, or anything else, the old-fashioned model of "bearing it cheerfully" should definitely be questioned. A chronically ill person should be allowed to fully express their pain and anger. And Beth's real-life model, Louisa May Alcott's sister Elizabeth "Lizzie" Alcott, was angry about her fatal illness – allegedly she became prone to uncontrollable rages in her painful last year of life, which her sister left out of Beth's decline to give her a more socially acceptable "good Christian death." The pressure to never complain, to "try not to be a trouble," and to be a role model of bravery for friends and family is a burden that no sick or disabled person needs! Yet as the above book review made clear, Beth's portrayal can potentially put that pressure on a sick or disabled reader. Just because it was common and accepted in the 19th century to portray illness and death this way doesn't make it any less ableist than it would be from a modern author.

Yet Beth's storyline is more than just a string of ableist 19th century illness tropes. To view it that way requires ignoring its context, both in Alcott's personal life and in the literature of her era.

First of all, there's the fact that Beth is based on a real person, Alcott's beloved sister. She's an idealized portrait, but she's still based in truth. Alcott didn't create a sickly fictional character just to kill off for the sake of the other characters' growth; Beth becomes chronically ill because Lizzie became chronically ill, and she dies because Lizzie died. By idealizing her as Beth and by portraying her life and death as inspiring her family and friends to become better people, Alcott meant to pay tribute to her sister – and maybe it also filled a need within her to find some meaning in her sister's suffering and in such a terrible, unfair loss. Of course just because Alcott loved her sister doesn't mean she couldn't have been ableist toward her, and just because she meant Beth's portrayal as a tribute doesn't mean it can't include problematic tropes. But the context is important to remember.

Besides, while Beth might seem like a figure of old-fashioned, syrupy sentimentality by modern writing standards, I would argue that compared to similar sweet, doomed female characters in other books of the same era, her portrayal is fairly progressive.

19th century fiction is full of angelic young girls, either children or teenage maidens, who, after short lives of gentle, selfless piety, waste patiently away from a drawn-out illness, and then die a "good Christian death," leaving their loved ones to become better people by their example. Two others I know besides Beth, and whom Alcott knew too, are Helen Burns in Jane Eyre and Evangeline "Little Eva" St. Clare in Uncle Tom's Cabin. (Anyone who calls Beth's death "the most maudlin death in 19th century literature" hasn't read Eva's!) Another famous example would probably be Charles Dickens' Little Nell from The Old Curiosity Shop, but I haven't read that book yet. Fairly often these characters seem to have been written as tributes to young girls in the authors' own families who had died: for example, Charlotte Brontë based Helen Burns on her sister Maria, while Dickens based Little Nell on his teenage sister-in-law Mary Hogarth. In some ways Beth is a classic example of this trope: that I'll grant. But I would argue that she's a complex example. I sincerely think Alcott set out to portray her as less of a romanticized paragon who exists to inspire others and more of a real human being than earlier authors' doomed angel-girls.

Beth is framed as a co-protagonist with her three sisters, not as a supporting character like Helen Burns or Eva St. Clare. This gets lost in the adaptations that focus more exclusively on Jo, but the book is called Little Women and not Jo for a reason. In Part I, despite idealizing her more than the other sisters and sometimes holding her up as their role model, Alcott still makes a point to say that Beth was "not an angel but a very human little girl." Just like her sisters, she dislikes tedious chores. She can be irresponsible, namely when her pet bird dies after she forgets to feed him for days. She can be moody, though it tends to manifest as tears or headaches instead of the angry snapping her sisters indulge in. And she has one big "burden" that she actively struggles with: her overwhelming shyness. She isn't a static character who inspires growth in others without needing to grow herself. Even though her flaws are minor, the idea that Alcott meant her to be a symbol of perfect goodness, too pure for this earth, doesn't ring true.

Her illnesses are also portrayed with a degree of harsh realism that sets her apart from the saintly dying girls in other books. The tuberculosis that kills both Helen Burns and Eva St. Clare is just a slow, gentle weakening with occasional coughs. But Beth's scarlet fever is frightening, both for her sisters and for herself, and her final illness, although vaguely described, is emphatically painful. Her body becomes a "prison-house of pain," as Jo writes, and her formerly calm, uncomplaining demeanor crumbles in a "rebellious" period of physical and emotional torment, horrible for her family to watch. This was clearly the phase when in real life, Lizzie Alcott became prone to fits of rage and dependent on drugs to manage both her pain and her moods; even though Little Women cuts those uglier details, we still feel the tumult, which isn't negated by the fact that it eventually passes and Beth's last days are peaceful.

More importantly, even though Alcott admires Beth for rarely complaining, she still allows her to be miserable about her condition, and the journey of coming to terms with it is Beth's own journey, not just her family's. Helen Burns and Eva St. Clare both serenely embrace death and look forward to heaven. But Beth? She's distraught to have her happy life cut short. True, she tries to resign herself and hide her sadness from her family, but it's clear that she's deeply depressed, and in two different scenes she breaks down crying in Jo's arms (first in bed, before she admits the reason why, and later at the beach after her reveal that she knows she's doomed). Only gradually, over the course of a year and after the above-mentioned period of anguished "rebellion," does she find inner peace, partly thanks to her religious faith, but thanks even more to the loving care and support her family gives her. She's not just a brave role model who makes peace with her fate all alone.

Now, about her lack of dreams and ambitions... This is entirely personal, but never once have I viewed this aspect of Beth's character as Louisa May Alcott "not allowing her" to dream and aspire the way her sisters do. I've always seen it as just a part of her personality, probably taken straight from Lizzie Alcott. Of course I don't know if this is true or not: for all I know, Lizzie did have grand plans for her future which her failing health shattered, and Louisa just chose to give Beth no ambitions to make her a better foil to Jo and/or to make her death less cruel. But why assume that? It's more than possible that even if Lizzie had been healthy and lived long, she really would have been content to stay with her parents until they died, then gone to live with one of her sisters afterward, and chosen to devote her life to taking care of her family.

This is probably a good time to discuss why I relate to Beth. I've written about it before, but it's important, and it explains why I've never viewed her a just a cardboard saint, nor viewed the portrayal of her illness and death as just "inspiration porn."

Even before she becomes chronically ill, Beth is different, and not just by being angelic. "She lived in a happy world of her own," Alcott writes in Part I, "only venturing out to met the few whom she trusted and loved." As late as age fourteen, she still plays with dolls, treats them as if they were alive, and has imaginary friends. She's also been homeschooled, because her social anxiety made the classroom unbearable for her; Alcott describes her shyness as "her infirmity," implying that it's not just a character flaw, but a disability. She never wants to get married, and not only does she have no worldly ambitions, she never even wants to leave her parents' house. Her fondest wish is to "stay at home safe with Father and Mother" forever – a wish that comes true in the saddest possible way, as she dies without ever having left the nest. Yet she's not just a childlike figure, as she has high emotional intelligence from a young age, and she even composes her own music to play on the piano. From a modern perspective, it's easy to read her as neurodivergent, and it seems more than likely that Lizzie Alcott would be diagnosed as neurodivergent if she lived today. As an autistic person, I see so much of myself in Beth... and that includes her lack of ambition. Leave the safety and familiarity of home? Live far from my family, the only people who really understand me? Go out into the big, unknown, anxiety-causing world? Give up my comfortable daily routine to make massive life changes? Not me, unless I have no choice!

This is why, when I first read the book, I found it beautiful that this odd, shy, sickly homebody of a girl, so easy to overlook or dismiss, is ultimately so adored and admired. Even though she doesn't sparkle in society, or defy gender norms, or have grand ambitions, or win any man's romantic love, and even though she dies so young and would probably have never "achieved" much or lived a "normal" life anyway, she's still valuable. Her kindness, her selflessness, and the love she gives to others are enough. Her low self-esteem ("stupid little Beth") and her regret for not doing more with her life are proven wrong, as during her sickness her family and friends reveal just how much she means to them, and even after her death she still makes a positive impact, as her sisters resolve to follow her example of selfless kindness and as she inspires Jo's writing. Of course it's not her job to inspire them, but is it really so problematic that she does?

Still, I've struggled with one possibly ableist aspect of Beth's characterization: the fact that, when she confesses to Jo that she knows she's dying, she suggests that "it was never intended that I should live long." Because she's never had any desire to leave her parents' home and live a "normal" adult life, she reluctantly views her impending death as "for the best." At least it's only Beth herself who says this and not Alcott's narrator voice or any other character; but unfortunately, no one argues against it either. I'd like to think that this speech only voices Beth's low self-esteem (possibly her own internalized albleism), which her family's love, care, and gratitude toward her refute. But the possibility stands that Alcott did rationalize Lizzie's death by thinking she wouldn't have been suited to a long life because she never quite "grew up," and that she expected us to view Beth's death in the same way.

Last spring, I had my first real health crisis since early childhood. For reasons I still don't fully know (probably genetics combined with weight gain and anxiety from two years of living in a pandemic), my blood pressure went dangerously high, and I spent two days in the hospital and still have to take stabilizing pills. In my hospital bed, afraid for my life, I found myself thinking "Maybe I'm like Beth. Maybe I'm not meant to live long. I've never held a full-time job, I can't even drive, socializing is hard, I still depend on my parents and I don't know what I'll do when they're gone, I'm oversensitive, and I feel so much younger than I am. I want to live, but maybe I'm just not suited to this world." Of course that was irrational, fear-based thinking. But it showed me that I have some internalized ableism, and that Beth's view of herself as destined to die young because she's different... doesn't exactly make it better. Just like her self-effacing patience and her role of serving her sisters' character development fed the internalized ableism of the linked review's author. While it hasn't made me dislike Beth or Little Women, it did force me to view her storyline as more of a "problematic fave" than I did before.

At any rate, though, I think the book's portrayal of Beth is much less ableist than most commentary written about her. From critics who insist that she is a symbol of perfect, ethereal goodness that can't survive on earth, to those who wholeheartedly agree that she dies because she's "unable to grow up," to those who view her sisters' admiration for her as inherently anti-feminist, I've read more bad remarks about Beth than I can stand! The worst is when so-called feminist critics conflate Beth's frail health both with her home-centered life and with her gender presentation, and think they're being progressive by saying, for example, "She's killed by her traditional femininity, which makes her too weak to survive," or "She has to die because her life has no meaning outside the home and a modern woman's life needs more meaning than that." Comments like those will always make me angry, but I don't blame Alcott's writing for them. I don't think those were the messages she meant to send.

So what conclusion should I draw from all this? Well, for one thing, I have to admit that Beth's storyline is a "problematic fave" for a disabled or chronically ill reader. I can't claim it's free from ableism and I understand why there's backlash against it. But I won't join fully in the backlash just yet. Alcott's use, and arguable subversion, of ableist tropes in Beth's characterization is complex. I think it's a topic that deserves to be discussed and explored, not used as a reason for readers who relate to Beth to dismiss Little Women altogether.

#little women #beth march #disability representation #chronic illness #ableism #louisa may alcott #elizabeth sewall alcott #fictional characters #characterization #analysis #long #tw: ableism #tw: illness #tw: death

[s0lar-ch3ri]

riptide wonders that encase my head (and a theory on how MAYBE we get chibo back)

okay, the title in itself is a spoiler, but i just gotta be dramatic okay? its honestly just me pointing out shit in riptide i noticed (which i miss shit so if i got smth wrong pls tell me)

this all started from a convo about nico de angelo with my non jrwi friend btw so yeah

so, by actual account, chip is dead right? well, my non jrwi friend (@arcadianxanadus) brings up a fun idea: magically hes considered alive.

we know jack shit on how captain widows revival magic works, so lemme give you my theory notes now

captain widows magic seems to only take that full effect (murder i mean) when the victim is unconscious, im doubting it even works on someone awake as i dont recall any needed checks for those (could have to do a rewatch of jrwi oh well)

once the heart is removed from captain widow by any means, the person it belonged to dies, meaning something inside captain widow keeps that shit thumping yet also allows a connection to remain between the owner and the heart

captain widows body allows the hearts to move arround, and i dont think she has her own

grizzly mentioned in one ep that he was translating some monsters over to enemies

(mentioned by non jrwi friend!) captain widow seems to be opposite magically of the black sea. widows victims end up dead yet magically the brain is tricked into believing the body is alive so they "come back" from the dead, while those affected by corruption have the mindset of a zombie or undead but are very much alive

now for a couple questions which relate to captain widow:

(mentioned by non jrwi friend!) can captain widows magic be reversed with the opposite process? would the same process work?

can chip even be revived if captain widows magic is the only reason he is alive? what happens if he is (somehow gets a new heart), then they remove chips old heart, would chip die too?

can captain widows process even be reversed at all?

does captain widow have any connection to victims of the black sea or the corruption?

what is this womans biology like? how is any of her feats done?

(mentioned by non jrwi friend!) could captain widow give chip back his heart?

with this came questions about the black sea and mana, so accompanied by roses world map, heres my questions and notes on this shit:

the only known sorcerer onboard the midnight rose that we know of (one whos been shown to have very strong magic) that could have helped rose with what he wanted is finn

adding to the last note, yes nk is an option, but why wouldnt rose go for his loyal crew member, one who swore an oath to help him and shit?

the tidestriders have been shown to be very resistant to corruption (only reason finn struggling cause he old)

the black sea has 2 crescent shaped islands, and the viridis sea has 1 creacent shaped landmass (apon closer inspection, the royale blue ocean also has 2 crescent shaped islands, one of which being jays home land and the other being desire island)

considering how liquidus is located in a hole in the northern sea (dont wanna struggle to spell viridis), the holes can naturally occur (why else does nobody fucking question it), so the irregular part must be how it corrupted the sea

could there have been undersea people in the sakura ocean? did they get corrupted by the sea?

what actually happens if you get all corruption points?

would goobleck be affected by the goop of the sea? could he just absorb it?

is niklaus's deal actually active with chip still? would any of their deals stay active if they got corrupted?

theres a g mart in every sea. how the fuck did the black sea one get there the map literally says its the black sea already

(i forgot who mentioned it, ill go hunting after i post this) if chips dead, does the memory he lost come back? or since by magical rule hes alive it doesnt work like that?

there are ways out of the black sea! its not just cause "black rose built different", GRYFFON CANONICALLY IS FROM THE BLACK SEA.

we actually dont know much on the undersea. gillion isnt a reliable source because he didnt get to see it much, finn isnt a good source either cause his age and magic are affecting his memory, leaving edyn whod be the best source...except for the fact that shes nowhere to be found and would probably run before any questions could be asked.

any additional questions and notes are encouraged to be addedon, but now for my theory on this all...

chip can be revived by maybe a couple of 3 ways:

chip is brought to zero hp again and captain widow gives back his heart

chip is brought to max hp and captain widow gives back his heart

(for me the most likely thought) chip gets fully corrupted and (maybe needed) fails the check to remember shit

i have the most trust in the first part of theory 3. since each magic has opposite effects, maybe itll force chip back to life, thus reviving him? im hoping chip doesnt try it though, aster forbid im fucking wrong and we just lose chibo

the second part of theory 3 is there cahse (cause) maybe chip has to be fall to rise again? the only way to get up is to fall til you cant no more type shit. maybe if chip loses himself to the sea, all the magic going on will fucking return him to normal? look, im trying to be positive, and in the bleek dark trauma hole its fuckin hard

so yeah maybe grizzly plays will have mercy and even take my ideas to consideration but please. i cant handle my boy being haunted for so long

#i actually can but its hurting gillion so... #IM SORRY I LOVE GILLION TOO MUCH #jrwi theory #jrwi #jrwishow #jrwi podcast #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi spoilers #jrwi riptide spoilers #jrwi chip #chip lastname #chip james #chip bastard #chip jrwi #theory notes #cheri's insane again #<- yeah this is one of my crazier theories #jerwee supreme

[yanban-san]

What would happen if darling were to get sick -like cant come in to work, stuck in bed, "omg this will never end" kinda sick.

Would they "poof!" the sickness away or go about it o' natural human style?

(currently recovering from covid and my discovery of your blog has revived my dead body)

Adding Necromancy to my resume, brb (In all seriousness Anon I hope you recover swiftly! Covid is a lil bitch >:( )

Tags: Poly, Demon/Monster AU, No beta we die like men

You messaged your bosses on your X-Transceiver after you'd woken up with a horrible headache and sore throat- Your whole body felt chilled with pins and needles in between bouts of burning fever, and you knew you were in no condition to go into work today. You'd hoped the scratchiness in your throat from the day before was just from some dust or cleaning fluid's caustic scent you'd inhaled too much of- Oh well. Damn it.

Ingo and Emmet were already at Gear Station; They were awaiting your arrival quite happily and impatiently-

Until they got your text. You were... ill? Sick?? How awful! Sickness was such a pain- Not that they knew what being sick was like, just that it was a nuisance for humans and made them feel terrible and, in bad cases, could be deadly.

This could not be! They would not allow some useless, questionably alive viral cells/bacteria to cause you such suffering. Emmet was already digging through Ingo's library of arcane knowledge and magic- Surely they had collected some references and spells on ending sicknesses in humans? If not, they could easily make one, though Emmet was very lazy.

Ingo however, had a different idea.

He observed you through his shadows- It was only a simple sore throat you had; And all the terrible symptoms that it brought on. Curing it would be easy to them- But what this bought of sickness really was, was an excellent opportunity for showering you with their affections- To show you they would be excellent caretakers of you in the future! What better way to show how they could tend to you then by bringing you a care package- Like the one you'd brought Emmet when he'd been out "sick" for a week. Although in actuality, he'd been being punished by his brother for his carelessness in dealing with Miss Elesa's memories- And that dumb photo he'd let her take of him exterminating some pest for their home realm.

"What do you say, dear brother?" He asked, turning his gaze to his twin, who had a rapidly growing pile of grimoires and arcane scripts beside him. A small voidal portal opened up beneath the stacks of books, sending them back to wherever they'd come from.

"A verrry nice idea. But the medicines in this world are terrible, brother-"

"That is true-"

"I do not like seeing them in pain."

"Neither do I," Ingo reassured his brother.

They would make you suffer only a little longer.

---

You spent the day in quiet agony- You really needed to go to the corner store at least, grab some sodas, cough drops, maybe some cough syrup too. But your head felt like it was splitting every time you stood up, and you were a shaky mess. The world was spinning from your headache, and you just couldn't bring yourself to get out of bed.

There was no way you'd be able to walk to the corner store without collapsing. You were rationing your almost-empty bottle of cough syrup, but your throat felt horrible. Soup would be nice too- Just some plain broth, even. Maybe you could order some takeout.

Several times when you almost managed to fall asleep, you swore you heard someone's voice shooshing you and reassuring you- And a hand or two gently stroking your hair and back. You'd bolt upright, completely awake, and- Nothing.

Just some funky sickness induced hallucinations, you reassured yourself.

But still. You needed to get something.

And your X-Transceiver beeped- ringing with an incoming call.

Station Master Ingo, the screen said.

"H-Hello?" You answered, trying your best not to sound like an 80 year old chain-smoker-

"Greetings, Miss! I was wondering- Or well, Emmet and I were wondering- We pass by your apartment on our way to our own. If we may, would it be acceptable for us to bring you... er, some medicine? Emmet quite enjoyed the gift you gave him last time, and he and I would greatly appreciate it- If you'd let us return the favor."

Oh thank Sinnoh above, you thought! You hated to pester your bosses like this- But at the same time... the offer was extremely tempting. Luckily your apartment wasn't too messy- You could receive a visitor for a second.

"If you'd like to, but please- Don't go out of the way!"

"Of course! Thank you- Miss."

And with that, Ingo hung up.

Wait- did he know what kind of cough syrup you bought?

Well, it didn't matter. Any of the normal drug store brands would be good. And maybe some plain bone broth soup from the deli that existed at the bottom of your apartment... Would that be too much to ask your bosses for? You were starving.

You sighed, getting up- You had taken a shower earlier, but you should probably be dressed before your bosses came up. Your pajamas were not something you wanted them to see.

Afterwards, you went to your kitchenette- You didn't have anything to offer them. Darn. Well, it wasn't like they'd want to stick around or anything- They'd probably knock on your door and drop it off, or wait for you to come to the door to take whatever they'd bring you. Inviting them in to your apartment while you were sick was probably... not right?

You didn't want to think about it. Your head hurt. You'd thank them, and promise to be into work as soon as your cold was over, and they'd go on their merry way-

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-

The knocking on your door was startling, and you couldn't help but jump when you heard the rapid fire tapping echoing through your living area. "C-Coming!" You coughed out, taking a swig of water. Maybe it would've been better to just go down to the corner store yourself, you thought-

But then you opened the door- to Ingo and Emmet both standing there, smiling as brightly as they could. Emmet's smile naturally was much wider than Ingo's, whose smile was still a frown- curling at the corners. Adorable.

"Hel-Hello, Station Masters-" You coughed out, holding open your door with your arm- When Emmet took his free hand and held the door for you, and off your body.

"Miss! We have brought you some medicine- And other things! For your sore throat!"

Ingo tipped his hat. "No need to be so formal outside of the Station, Dear- But no matter- May we come in to set these down?" He asked, lifting up the bags.

"Oh, thank you, you two! But really, I'm not feeling good- I would hate to give you two this awful cold-"

"Nonsense." Emmet responded monotonously. He found it almost insulting that you thought he'd be capable of becoming ill- He was not so weak! He put his foot forward, sliding into your apartment despite your protests-

"Er, Emmet-" Ingo added warily as he saw his brother loom over you, smiling as cheerily as ever and holding the door open. "Nonsense, brother- We cannot dump these heavy bags off with a sick person and leave them to deal with them themself!"

"I agree, brother- But still, you should not- Force your way- Into- their apartment-" And he shifted all the bags into his other hand while the now freed one grabbed at his coat collar.

You could help but smirk at their antics. They really only meant well, didn't they? And-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the smell of- soup. Really good soup.

Coconut mushroom soup? But the Alolan hangout would've been closed by this time-

"Is that... coconut soup." You asked intensely, staring at one of the bags Emmet was holding.

"Yes."

"Where did you get that?!"

Emmet's smile went crooked for a second as he thought-

"There is a place. Brother and I go to it occasionally. We get verrrry good soup there! This soup is good for you too, so we picked some up for you."

"Oh, you shouldn't have! But it does- It does smell amazing," You added. "You know what? If you two are alright with it, come on in- I won't keep you long or anythi-" And your words were cut off as you coughed again. Ingo's semi-smile vanished, replaced by a look of worry. Humans were so fragile, weren't they?

The two practically glided into your apartment, moving swiftly- Ingo insisted you at least sit down on your couch- And they brought you the wonderful, throat-healing soup- And also arranged all the medicines and treats they'd brought you for your sickness on your table. Packages of special teas, and... strange cough drops and a syrup you'd never seen before. Unlike most medicines at the drugstore, it wasn't kept in a plastic bottle- And the labeling on it looked quite old fashioned. What back-alley herbalist did they buy these from, you wondered-

"Oh, this- Emmet and I prefer a... private pharmacist for certain medicines. I apologize that we didn't pick up any er, regular medicines for you... but I can assure you, this cough syrup is excellent." Ingo stated- You studied the bottle. The syrup inside was a deep, rich brown- And it was definitely a syrup. You cracked open the bottle, smelling it-

It smelled vaguely alcoholic, but also sweet- and... like greenery.

"Try a tiny bit of it!" He encouraged. You poured barely a teaspoon of it into a dosage cup- And threw it back in your mouth, expecting the worst.

But instead of tasting horrible-

It tasted like a burn. Probably the alcohol, you realized- And then a sweet, cinnamony taste hit you-

And your throat felt like it didn't even hurt anymore. The relief was instantaneous, and for the first time all day you didn't feel the scratchy, bitey itch at the back of your mouth.

"Wow," You remarked- Even your voice sounded better!

Ingo's expression relaxed. "I'm glad it worked so well for you, dear."

You took a sip of the soup- Rich and creamy and also wonderfully soothing on your tired throat. And quite unlike the soup you were used to from your local Alolan-themed diner. It almost, you felt like remarking, tasted like the coconut soup you'd gotten when you'd been to Alola with your parents so long ago! Like the real, authentic thing- Freshly made with fresh coconuts and freshly harvested mushrooms and freshly made bone broth-

"I'd love to visit wherever you guys got this from!" You added as you took another sip of the delicious broth. Ingo and Emmet exchanged a glance- They would certainly be more than happy to take you Alola sometime, if that is what you wished for-

But you didn't want to keep your bosses late. It was after work, surely they must've wanted to head home too? And it was rather nerve-wracking having them in your apartment of all places, while you were ill-

And finally, after much goading and reassuring them that yes, you were fine, and yes, you would definitely take as much rest as needed-

You managed to get them out of your apartment.

"And Station-" "Informal." Emmet interrupted, smiling.

"-Mas- Er, what?"

Emmet repeated. "We are not at work right now- We prefer casual addressment when we are not at work-"

"-If you are alright with it yourself, of course." Ingo added rather forcefully, glaring at his brother for rudely interrupting you.

You smiled again- They could be so silly together, your twin bosses.

"Well then, Ingo and Emmet- Thank you both very much for bringing me some medicine, and the soup, and the tea. I'll be sure to recover quickly!"

"Please do- But please remember safety first!" Emmet added. "Rest."

They bid you good night- And you settled into your bed, taking the cough syrup with you to your bedside.

A proper dose of that medicine, and you'd be fast asleep and feeling better- And cured by morning.

And thus, the twins got their opportunity to take care of you- without making you suffer unnecessarily. You would spend the evening, and the whole of the next morning- And the days that followed, thinking about how sweet they'd been to bring you something when you weren't feeling well. How kind, caring- protective, nurturing- The Station Masters were towards you.

And with that, they were quite satisfied.

#Emmet X Reader #Ingo X Reader #Ingo/Reader #Emmet/Reader #Coconut soup is really good #Demon AU #Monster AU #Demon Submas #Monster Submas #Seth.anon #Seth.asks #Gawsh dangit now I want Tom Kha and I'm out of curry paste >:(

[kiwibirdlafayette]

Its Gays on A Boat! (working title)

There's a multiversal threat, and theres only one group of idiots that can stop it! Its taking out the S1 Mianite world and its comin for the rest of the universes in the vast SMP Multiverse o nooo

Mianite spin off pitch; Post DSMP; canon divergent. uhh fills in what Sonja was up to during Isles and after the fact. mostly just random ideas i had i cant write prose for shit

A few years after S2 Sonja and Wag get kinda left behind. Tom returns to Astrakheins with Alice to find himself, Jordan depressedly goes off to become a pirate, Tucker leaves the universe to pursue other things

The two of them end up gettin into more powerful magics outta boredom (which Martha doesnt really like all that much) and in her explorations, Sonja stumbles upon the idea of necromancy. i dont have it fleshed out but. she talks to Philza (whos in the S1 world with Techno, pre-SMP Earth) who introduces her to Kristen. exploration of Capsizes limbo and basically she brings back Capsize

Canonically SMPEarth takes place right before Isles. and uhh While Jordan and Tom have reunited when Martha and Alice send the two back in time to investigate x thing idk i didnt finish the series yet (Mianitian Isles) Sonja is kinda just tryna help Capsize find herself again bc she didnt come back right (big ol memory issues). Post Isles Tom ends up on their boat with no idea where Jordan went (spoiler: bro ended up in the End of the DSMP, pulled there by XD) Jordan gets involved with the DSMP Syndicate bc of Phil and Techno

((theres a gap in story here but tldr; before the nuclear bomb that resets the server goes off, the trio find Jordan and take him and Tubbo- maybe also Ranboo and Michael- onto the boat and they fuck off to.... somewhere. Phil and Techno have their own way out i personally like the Syndicate ending Phil wrote i dont wanna mess with it))

A lot of it kinda focuses on the four reconnecting and repairing their faults of the past and a continuation of this multiversal threat that Jordan was investigating on the DSMP which i cant really explain yet. basically think world historian but a lot worse with quintessence stuff

like Jordan trying to make it up to a Capsize for how he treated her, but who doesn't remember him that well, Jordan reconnecting with his son that he basically had to abandon when the Realm of Mianite was falling apart, the tension between Sonja and Tom, where Sonja has kinda been Capsize's friend all this time while he was gone and regretting not being around, Tom helping Capsize through this revival state relating his own experience where he cant remember the ghosts of his past life all that well- and more!

also shenanigans. tons of mianite-style silly shenanigans cause we love some absolute 180 contrast in these damn things

other maybe plot points

Furia. yea theyre back

redbeard coping with the fact his sister is back. havent decided how much she remembers of him for angst reasons >:]

if i stick to ranboos canon ending for their character, them finding ranboo in the nether at some point

tom really leaning into the godhood of bein mecha dianite

meeting their origins alts from starborne kingdom of dianite when the timelines start to get fucky and blended together

motanite returns, and most of the Ruxomar Alts (including Spark whos been in the vast expanse with S2Ianite and comes back to roast Jordan)

Waglington. just waglington.

ok thats it for now. ill take questions i guess i know its very disorganized bc im still writing OSMP stuff and im tryna to not do two at once

#mianite #inspired by post-capsize revival works by Coolcattime and Licantropa! :D #mianitian isles #mianite x dsmp #mianite: gays on a boat #zombiecaptains duo #embersduo #sonja omgitsfirefoxx #jordan captainsparklez #captain capsize #tom syndicate #tubbo underscore #dsmp sparklez #long post #worldbuilding #story development #lafakiwi talks #gkm arts #lafakiwi draws #ill add more later #i wanna write lore for godswap next. but SkoD first #non est ad astra mollis e terra via: smp multiverse

[dyed-red]

I feel like the prequel is lowkey trying to flip it so that Mary (who very much resembled Sam at this point in her history) is bringing Dean's energy and John (who should, fresh out of Vietnam, have Dean's harder "fuck it we ball, if I die then I die" vibe) is bringing Sam's energy because they looked at Traumatized Hardass Marine With A Secretly Kind Heart and Outwardly Sweet Girl Who Can And Will Kick Your Ass and went, "Oh god, we're gonna get accused of so much sexism."

But at the same time, they don't actually want to make John soft enough to make the gender-role-swap work. Like I could maybe live with the contradiction of previously established canon if they would actually commit to it. If they would let Mary be a real asshole sometimes, and give John some real vulnerability. But instead we're getting Whedon-esque Strong Female Protagonist from Mary and John's just kinda there.

It's pathetic and deeply disappointing.

that's the impression i get, though i never assumed it would be predicated on concerns of sexism accusations.

i was thinking it was based on mary's characterization in the late seasons after she's revived and her dive back into hunting and paralleling her to dean. and i was assuming it was largely born out of this being a dean-focused writing team.

i also assume, beyond circumventing sexism accusations, they probably thought it would be more ~interesting~ to have mary be this cold badass and have john be soft.

and it's not like john doesn't have this softness to him, i actually do think that's interesting. mary likes him because he's not like hunters, not like her family. i've always kind of taken that to mean he has some of what dean has -- possibly the same kind of bleeding heart where he won't trade one life to save 30, contrary to early-seasons sam being the type to make that sort of call.

john cries when he loses his friends, when jim murphy dies. he gets teary-eyed looking at his sons in Shadow. he's a really complicated and interesting character! so bringing that to the forefront in the era he and mary are falling in love makes some degree of sense for me.

but like... that's not all he is, and that harder side of him is absolutely essential, or else how are we supposed to believe he's a hardened marine? how are we supposed to believe the man he's going to become? is the prequels version bringing the intensity of this john:

(maybe he is, i haven't watched it, but nothing that i have seen suggests that he's got the anger sitting there under the surface)

ultimately mary's softeness, even if it's a veneer, is such an incredibly important part of her character. she wears a mask so similar to sam's, doesn't let people in, craves safety and normalcy despite being incredibly ill-built for it, craves it so much it damns her. she purposefully softens her hard edges and sands them down smooth to fit in with others and attain this unattainable goal, and that is something practiced over a lifetime.

tbh - whenever any piece of media writes badass cold hard women who kick ass and take no shit, to me it just sort of comes across like they don't know how to write tough women without stripping them of their femininity and gentleness. and i'm all for traumatized, angry, badass women, but it ends up reading as really flat if there's no depth behind it. like, you can do it well, exceptionally well. when done well these tend to be my favourite characters tbh. mary could be my favourite -- i absolutely love love love her in the original canon, up to about the end of s12 (after that it's kind of meh but that's another post).

but.... the actress may be to blame for that lack of depth too though? idk, but it's not necessarily easy to make that jump off the page, and while a very skilled actor with very good script sensitivity might be able to bring that depth naturally, a more inexperienced actress probably needs more writing and direction to make it work, and it seems to me they... well, my personal salty opinion is that mary was not well cast. this in no way absolves the writers and showrunners of not necessarily thinking this through in the depth i would've liked to see, but it isn't really helping matters.

#fandom wank #wank for ts #anti prequel #anti tw #sorry guys it is what it is #i haven't actually like... watched it though so my opinion is pretty moot outside of a few scenes and reviews and the promos #maybe the later episodes pick up and provide more rounding on the characters #my impression based on what i've read is that is the case #but yeah #interesting ask and i more or less agree #i'm just not sure the motive was so straightforward #negativity for ts

[sombredancer]

How to fight your doom (Pt. 4)

Episodes 13-19 To fix the situation the story needs deus ex machina, and because the power of accidents is very huge in this story, it`s not a problem to have one represented by Shop girl Jieli. She brings to Girl a simple thought: it always matters only what you DO for each other, not what you SAY. Words can be a lie or can be misunderstood, but deeds are always deeds. Girl thinks carefully and finds out that Devil is in fact very caring even if he said he was pretending. So, just a monster turns back into a caring criminal AND a monster. And then she finds out that he was so heartless in ancient times because of his dead Feelings Tree and is willing to revive it for him.

 There is the hint to the main plot of a story we don`t know fully yet: he says that even ancient gods can`t fix someone`s primordial spirit or Tree of Feelings, but later we will learn that she IS an ancient goddess and she can fix primordial spirits as well as Trees of Feelings.

She likes that he cares for her and because of that she likes him too. She really wants to repay his kindness by doing something important to him but she also thinks that she can fix him and turn him into an ordinary demon (whom it will be easier to like). It`s an illusion that lovers often have: if there is something disturbing in people we like, we often think that we can fix it with the power of our love, our fairy power or whatsoever. We like not a person that in front of us but an image of this person in our mind.

Then he saves her from Haishi city and their mutual care starts to be very obvious to each other.  On their way home Girl takes a chance to look into daily routine of demon village and she learns that war and hatred took from them too much. Demon people are in pain, their wish to take revenge is understandable, although she can`t support them at this point. And Devil demonstrates that he is an EXELLENT LEARNER once more: he doesn`t force Girl to take off the hairpin to bare her feelings nor will he do it later even as he will be badly in need to know about them, because she asks him to respect her private mind space (she likes him at this moment already, obviously, and doesn`t want him to know it).

Devil`s father is really a jerk. Like God of War before, he represents that type of people who sacrifice their love according to fulfill their duty. Maybe it was the right way in those circumstances (it`s a popular moral dilemma IRL), but it unbearable hurts those who are sacrificed. To be sacrificed by the most beloved person in the world, to be called a patricide and to be hated by only left relative so much that he gave up on the whole realm to kill him hurts Devil a lot.

He was a very sensitive child and now, returning to his real self, he is in huge pain. He wants to be free of it by any means because there is no chance to calm it (as he thinks).

Before, he told Girl that he is Moon Supreme and doesn`t need someone to love him, but the whole story is about him craving love (from his father and from Girl later) and willing to give much more in return if someone will be willing to love him first.

Girl is very eager to help him to be the man from her fantasies about how he should be, so she makes huge effords to recover his feelings, to reconcile him with his dead father and his almost dead brother. And she moves from these legends about how awful Devil is to the thought that he is something other than stories she has been told in Fairy realm. A little bit better that that.

Sometimes external pain is much bearable that internal, so here Devil`s punishment of himself starts. He saves his brother but also punishes himself for all of these years when he didn`t care of what he has done.

And then he shows us that he is a really GOOD LEARNER: he simulates his illness to get attention of the girl he likes the same as she faked her illness before to lure him into Fake Arbiter Hall and to swap their bodies.

And when life gives him a chance to learn how to express his affection to his nearest, he embraces this opportunity fully. He embraces his ability to be merciful, in love and empathic even if he knows that it means to him being in pain or losing his great power. He knows he will lose it as his Feelings Tree will recover so he is terrified when he finds out Girl really has cured it but then he chooses by himself to feel good things as well as bad things. There is no use in great power if you are a living corpse without everything that makes you a living being.

Knowing that Girl likes him back (according to her care and eagerness to help him in recovering his soul and body no matter what) he thinks they can be together and he can make her happy by making the biggest wish of her come true. There is no lack in his way of thinking: his goal as Demon lord is to avenge his people and to wipe away their enemies and her wish is to have an opportunity to go back to Fairy realm. He can kill two birds with one stone. And she is terrified of his words because her rose-tinted glasses have broken. He can`t be just an ordinary demon and live with her happily ever after because it is in his power to wipe her nearest and dearest people away just by flicking his fingers and, what is even more awful, it`s his duty to do so. It is the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet in a nutshell.

He confesses his love for her once more («I don`t care who you are, I only want you to be by my side forever») but she refuses him. Although she is in love, she finally understands their misalliance and pushes him away. It hurts her as well as him and he can`t understand the reason. «You took so much care of me, you did so much for me, was I wrong thinking you liked me?» he asks her in another words. Although her explanation of a problem is pretty clear («Can you give up on your home and friends for me?» «And you? Can you give up on your duty for me?»), he doubts that she refuses him only because of that  (and this is so HUMAN – to be in complex, hopeless situation, to suffer from it, not knowing if you should leave it for later or let it go completely). So he doesn`t give up on his plans although he is in pain and loves her and she also decides to disturb his plans although she is in pain and loves him too. No one chooses love over their duties by now (just as Devil`s father and God of War did), but love is still an option and neither Devil nor Girl wants to give this option up.

The Romeo and Juliet problem has got two ways to be solved: either the conflict is not huge and could be resolved (or someone turns side), or you just broke up (and someone optionally dies in process). This story orders us it`s variant of the Romeo and Juliet problem salvation, which is not death (at some point of view).

#love between fairy and devil #cang lan jue #苍兰诀 #dong fang qing cang #xiao lan hua #cdrama #SDaboutLBFAD

[rosenongrata]

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land

⋯ 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary. Two sides of the same coin—the divine man and the accursed lady will one day intertwine.

⋯ 𓆩♡𓆪 A/N. ❌

⋯ 𓆩♡𓆪 AO3 Link.

⋯ 𓆩♡𓆪 Chapter W.C. 822.

⋯ 𓆩♡𓆪 CW. the abyss order are blatant bastards, no shame fr. eventual romance. blood & injury & violence. trauma/mental illness exploration. slow burn. OC-CENTRIC, OC-INSERT. OC X CANON.

Chapter 2 — New Beginnings.

The frostnip falls upon Hauteclaire’s face—the pokey sensations of pins and needles all over her face and body. Her eyes rise open, only to stare up at the clearing between the dense forest trees to see the white sky powdering her with snow. She's on her back with her limbs splayed out awkwardly as she thinks aloud—

"What time is it?" She sighs, then she begins coughing a lung up from the freezing morning air chilling her down to her bones. "…So tired…" She murmurs, threatening to fall back into an empty dreamland.

Being torn from her lifeless dreams, she hears a distant, "Hey! We found someone!" And then the rapid crunching of snow beneath boots made for this weather approaches her side. "Hey, hey, are you alright, Miss?" They kneel down next to her, but her eyes are so foggy with sleepiness and pain.

"…Does…Does it look like I am…?" She barely breathes out, eliciting an awkward chuckle to come from the man beside her.

"Ah, you got a mouth on you… We'll bring you back to the city swiftly. Don't you worry another moment." His deep, resounding voice reassures her, and then she's fallen back asleep once more. "Dang, she fell asleep…" He sighs.

———

Rousing into a much warmer area, Hauteclaire breathes a heavy sigh of relief while shifting in the soft bed beneath her. Attempting to sit up, her once-frozen bones snap and pop from the lack of usage. She groans, rubbing the joints of her arms with both opposing hands. Golden eyes laden, she stares at the long window to her right side through thick eyelashes.

(Where am I?) She asks herself before shaking her head, placing her feet on the floor to the left side of the bed. (I should investigate…) She stares ahead at the open doorway, leaving behind a crystalline ornament on the bedside table.

Before she's able to leave the room, there's that resounding voice from earlier speaking,

"She can't be dead. Her Vision is still lit up, I even checked." He remarks, crossing his arms firmly.

"It is suspicious, but… She was definitely dead when I checked her body. No pulse or breathing found…" A blonde woman with a stern voice chimes in.

"That's nonsense, someone can't simply just revive like that." He argues with a sigh rolling off his lips. "Let's go check if she's dead then, alright? Maybe you were hallucinating again."

"On the contrary…" Hauteclaire speaks up, pacing past the cathedral nave.

"Ah!" The woman screams in terror, jumping into the man's arms, "Sh-she's alive! A zombie!" She yowls. “D-Don’t eat me!”

"Calm down already." The man sighs, holding the woman without much issue.

"Just who are you, anyway?" The woman breathes heavily.

"Hauteclaire." She nods, "And you are?" She raises a thick brow.

"This is Piep, my betrothed and a nun here at the church," The man gestures his head to the woman in his arms, "And I am Eduard, a local Knight." He gently places Piep back down on her feet.

(None of these things make sense to me except the knight part…) Hauteclaire stares down at the polished floor for a brief moment, and when she looks up at them again, "I see. I presume you saved me, so thank you."

"No problem." Eduard nods, "Mind telling us about yourself, stranger?"

"I do mind." She crosses her arms beneath her bosom.

"…Wow." Eduard and Piep say in unison.

"All I can tell you is that the Abyss Order wants my head on a pike at the moment." She sighs; gaze shifting elsewhere.

"What?!" They yell in surprise. In unison. Again.

"Wow, you two sure are on the same wavelength—"

"The Knights of Favonius will protect you, Hauteclaire. Stay within the city walls and you'll be dandy." He nods and offers a beaming smile.

"…Sure." Hauteclaire's eyes screw shut, vexation growing in her chest. "I suppose I don't have much of a choice." She shakes her head, more than a bit disappointed in herself.

"Why not live with us here in Mondstadt? You don't look like you've got any Mora on you." Piep smiles as well, although it almost looks embittered.

"…Thank you. Truly." Hauteclaire stares holes through their souls, causing chills to run up the couple's spines.

"By the way, I found you with a Cryo Vision in Wolvendom this morning. You should get your things if you're feeling better." He remarks.

"A what now?" She replies with a face warped with confusion and dread.

"Uhhh…" Piep murmurs, offering an awkward smile. "How do we explain this?" She turns to her fiance, whispering to him.

"I got this." He nods before speaking up, "Simply put, it's a channel for elemental energy granted by the Gods. It's a very rare phenomenon."

"Oh, I see." Hauteclaire hums, "That's neat, I guess." She shrugs with a confused frown etching into her features, "By the way…"

"Yes?"

"What's a Mondstadt?"

#oc #original character #genshin impact #mine #oc: hauteclaire #fic: ancient dreams in a modern land #canon x oc #oc/canon #oc x canon #zhongli x original character #zhongli x oc #ship: zhongclaire

[autobots-and-their-crazy-kids]

What if Sari’s role is being the heir of the recently deceased Professor Sumdac’s Robot Company? ⭐️ 

*Sari’s father aka Prof. Sumdac had passed away from an illness 2 years before Sari meets the Autobots. 

*In this story, her full name is Professor Sarika Sumdac. 

*Sari is already an adult when she first meets them. 

*This Sari is somewhat more mature and a bit wiser than her canon counterpart, but she has her issues; she’s one of those people that act happy to hide how miserable they truly are inside... she also can’t stand that people keep comparing her to her father or other inventors. 

*She’s also way too curious and excited about alien-related stuff sometimes. 

*Sari is one of those adults that look like teenagers, so some people don’t take her seriously as the true successor of her father’s company, including Powell. 

*Instead of getting an Allspark Key that heals Autobots, Sari was wearing a robotic glove during the time she finds the Allspark, so it gave her an Allspark Power Glove. 

*Sari is born a fully organic human in this story (either adopted or genetically created), but she becomes a techno-organic cyborg later on (maybe she was dying and Optimus sacrificed the Allspark Glove to bring her back as a cyborg). 

*The Original Prof. Sumdac still discovered Megatron’s head a long time ago and used it to create his advanced, powerful robots that made him so famous... however, since he died before Megatron’s head got revived, Megatron had to trick Sari into helping him instead.

*Before Megatron got revived, Sari thought that his head was a weird giant robot prototype that her father gave up on creating.

*Sari gains a broken pedestal for her father when she learns that most of his inventions came from reverse engineering an alien robot tyrant’s head.

*She also feels super guilty for being tricked into helping Megatron, who made her think that he’s a nameless Autobot Ally. 

*The Autobots never blamed her for what happened, because they know she was only trying to help an ‘ally’, but a lot of Detroit decide to blame both her and the Autobots over what happened when Megatron gets his body back. 

*It leads to her losing her company to Powell, but she eventually gets it back. 

*When she loses her company, it devastated Sari, but the Autobots comfort her and share their home with her. 

*Sari later learns to live outside of her dead genius father’s shadow and become her own person. 

*Sari is like a sister to Bumblebee, Bulkhead and Prowl.

*She’s also their teacher about Earth stuff. 

*Sari sees Ratchet as a grumpy, but lovable grandpa that needs to sleep more.  

*He teaches her about Cybertron (but he refuses to talk about the Cybertron War and Megatron, thus Sari didn’t know what Megatron looked like and made it easier for Megatron to trick her). 

*Sari secretly views Optimus as a new father figure. 

*They bond over trying way too hard to be perfect and never feeling good enough for certain people, whenever they make a mistake.

*They had basically become each other’s therapists. 

*Their talks actually helped their mental health. 

*Sarika is seen as one of them. 

*Unlike in canon, Optimus was part of the first Cybertron War with Ratchet and Prowl. 

*Elita died during the war, so Optimus retired as Leader (with Ultra Magnus later taking his place) and became a Spacebridge Repair Bot with Ratchet and Prowl (and later Bumblebee + Bulkhead) to live a more peaceful life. 

*Megatron never forgot about Optimus defeating him. 

*Blackarachnia was previously an Autobot Scientist named Stella born after the war and is interested in organic life and turned herself techno-organic to become the ‘perfect’ lifeform… she joins the Decepticons so they could give her the supplies to create more perfect lifeforms like her as warriors for them… Has a desire to turn Optimus into her greatest warrior ever… Secretly had a hero crush on him as Stella…

*Her servants are Waspinator the Wasp, Inferno the Fireant and the Dinobots (whom she brainwashed and made techno-organic).

*The Dinobots were created by Sarika and accidentally brought to life by her Allspark Glove; Megatron tricked them all into hating humans, because their cars cause pollution that destroys nature.  

*The Autobots and Sarika all decide to spare the Dinobots and take them a human-free island near Detroit (until Blackarachnia had found them).

*Sarika’s twin inventions of music blasting giant robot birds. The Decepticon Soundwave hacks them to steal Sarika’s glove and use it on them themselves, giving them both a spark. 

*After failing their ‘Earth Robots attack humans plan’, the birds became Soundwave’s loyal companions.

*Sarika later sees how the Autobots became kinda corrupt after their war and helps Optimus with fixing it. 

*She hates Megatron and the Decepticons, but at the same time feels pity for them. 

#sari sumdac #isaac sumdac #optimus #megatron #bumblebee #tfa #transformers animated

[devilgene]

Tekken timeline ( pre series to tekken 2 )

???

Hachijo clan, assassins, obtains the power of a malovent spirit dubbed "Devil".

The Mishima clan are warriors that served the Japanese Emperor during the Heian period.

1410s

Eliza, a vampire, falls asleep under what would be known as the De Rochefort Family Estate.

Somewhere between the 1920s-1930s

Mishima Corporation is established by Jinpachi.

Early 1940s

Jinpachi expands the corporation into an industrial empire by capitalizing on military demand during World War 2.

Later regrets this decision post war and walks it back, focusing on the dojo he opened.

1950s

A young girl named Kazumi ( sent by her clan to monitor the Mishima foretold to be a threat to the world ) arrives at Jinpachi's dojo and becomes rivals with another student, Heihachi.

1967

Kazumi and Heihachi get married in 1966 or early 1967.

Kazuya is born November 2.

1968-1972

Kazumi saves Akuma's life.

Heihachi gradually gains power and standing within the company after being given control of the Mishima Industries subsidiary. He works to expand the industrial wing via underhanded tactics such as intimidation and instigating gang wars in cities like New York ( the Big Apple War ), Shanghai, and Hong Kong, quickly accumulating mass amounts of wealth. Turmoil is brewing between Heihachi, who continuously makes grabs for more power, and Jinpachi, who is steadfast in his belief that the company can be a force for good without returning to the dark methods used during its initial expansion.

1973

Heihachi initiates a corporate takeover and renames the company to the Mishima Zaibatsu.

Jinpachi disagrees with the militaristic direction Heihachi is steering the company in. He attempts another coup to retake the company from Heihachi and challenges Heihachi, but fails. He's imprisoned beneath Hon-Maru and eventually starves to death.

During a business trip to a Chinese city ( possibly Shanghai ), Heihachi is impressed by a street orphan's fighting potential, adopting Lee Chaolan as his son and bringing him back to Japan. Lee was intended to be used as a means to push Kazuya to become stronger through motivating him as a rival.

Kazumi confronts Heihachi to try to get him to return the company. Heihachi refuses. Devil Kazumi begins making attempts to take over and carry out the mission, attacking Heihachi at random intervals. Kazumi calls upon Akuma, cashing in his debt to her by setting up a contingency plan for him to kill Heihachi ( and possibly Kazuya ) should she fail and lose her life.

Heihachi foils Devil Kazumi's assassination and kills Kazumi. Devil chooses not revive her. Kazuya is aware that Heihachi murdered Kazumi.

Shortly after, possibly maybe even the same day, Heihachi takes Kazuya to the cliff. He throws Kazuya - who he already viewed as too weak - off it as a test. "If he's my real son, he'll climb back up!" He wants to know if Kazuya’s strong enough to be worthy of being his son and, keeping his suspicions of what just occurred with Kazumi in mind, wants to see what would happen if Kazuya survived. Would it be a transformed monster or an actual true Mishima?

Kazuya bleeds out and dies, triggering his latent devil gene and opening him up to being possessed. Devil brings him back to life.

Kazuya eventually climbs back up, bloodied and scarred but has no outward physical changes like Kazumi did after transforming. Heihachi affirms this as Kazuya not being inflicted with the same cursed "illness" as Kazumi and continues to raise him in his household. Kazuya is permanently instilled with hatred and resentment for his father following this.

Kazuya and Lee’s upbringing under Heihachi goes onto consist of strict, harsh and abusive conditions with imperialistic teachings hammered into them.

1987-1993

Heihachi discovers a bear cub on the Mishima estate, eventually raising it to learn how to fight and understand human language.

Lee is given some power over the American branch of the Mishima Zaibatsu. Lee moves to San Francisco, meeting and training with Marshall Law and Paul Phoenix. Becomes known as the ‘Silver-Haired Demon’ in the underground fighting world.

Heihachi gives Kazuya a position in the Zaibatsu directly under him, though he does not give him power over a branch like Lee.

Kazuya participates in martial arts tournaments and unofficial fighting rings around the world. During one, Paul Phoenix fights him to a draw.

In 1989, to double check that what happened to Kazumi wasn't transmittable through genes, Heihachi had a child with a Swedish woman during a Scandinavian operation. Once he confirmed the child had no hallmarks of the "illness", he moved on with his life.

Around 1990, Bruce Irvin became the heavyweight Muay Thai kicking boxing champion.

1994 ( Tekken )

The King of Iron Fist Tournament is announced by Heihachi with an obscene cash prize money and the King of the Iron Fist title as the rewards.

Tournament competitors: Kazuya, Lee, Heihachi, Michelle, Nina, Paul, Marshall, King, Yoshimitsu, JACK, Armor king, Anna, Kunimitsu, Ganryu, Kuma, Wang, Prototype JACK

Kazuya's plans to get revenge on Heihachi and enact a worldwide coup d'etat. The Russians get wind of this global takeover plot and enter JACK to eliminate Kazuya. Heihachi perceives this as a threat to him and enters the P. Jack model he stole from the Russians to combat the JACK.

Nina seeks to assassinate Heihachi. Anna enters to get back at Nina as part of their rivalry.

Wang faces Marshall in the King of Iron Fist tournament and the fight ends in a draw. 

Kuma, Heihachi’s pet bear, gets whooped in combat by Paul.

Michelle enters the tournament to get revenge on Heihachi for the murder of her father. Kunimitsu, a thief banished from the Manji clan by Yoshimitsu after caught stealing from them, tries to steal Michelle's pendant. She is defeated by Michelle.

After being dismissed from the sport, the sumo wrestler Ganryu enters to prove his strength and falls in love at first sight with Michelle. Yoshimitsu defeats Ganryu and steals his wealth built from crime and illegal gambling, which he later gives to the poor - including Marshall, who uses it to fund and open his dojo.

King enters to raise funds for the orphanage he ran. Armor King enters to settle the score he has with King after the wrestler crushed his eye during a match. King defeats Armor King, and the two go on to become friends.

Kazuya defeats Paul after a furious battle that lasted for hours.

Lee saw this as his chance to beat Kazuya, and win sole inheritance of the Mishima Zaibatsu but instead suffers a crushing defeat by Kazuya.

King came in third place. Lee came in second place. Kazuya finished first.

Coming face to face with his father in the grand finals. Kazuya confronts Heihachi and engages in a vicious, bloody battle. He wins and throws Heihachi's body off the same cliff he was tossed  off of. He smiles at the perceived completion of  his revenge.

Kazuya gains control of the Mishima Zaibatsu as its intended heir.

1994 - 1996

Kazuya hires Lee as his secretary, Anna as his secretary / bodyguard, and Ganryu as a bodyguard.

Heihachi survives the fall off the cliff and retreats into a life of seclusion deep within the mountains with Kuma to refine his karate.

Dr. Bosсonovitch saves Yoshimitsu's life and attaches a perpetual engine to his artificial arm.

The Zaibatsu expands on corrupt practices and strengthens ties with organizations like the Triad and criminal mafia groups around the world. Kazuya works to increase the Zaibatsu’s strength and finances across the globe, gaining immense power and sway. Kazuya is still being increasingly influenced by Devil.

Bruce competes in Thailand and refused to throw a match, destroying the other champion's career. A Muay Thai gambling organization put out a contract for Bruce's life. While onboard a flight returning to America, the assassin attempted to take Bruce's life, but a Hong Kong police investigator also on the flight intervened. A fight ensued, causing the plane to crash.

Dr. Bosconovitch is kidnapped from the Russians to work for the Zaibatsu.

Bioengineering is given a focus within the company and various animals are illegally smuggled into the Zaibatsu to be used as experimental test subjects with the purpose of being turned into military weapons, such as kangaroos. Dinosaur DNA is taken from a fossilized insect and spliced together with kangaroo DNA, successfully reviving a new animal from a long extinct species. Successful subjects are trained in martial arts.

Kazuya's men are sent to retrieve documents an accountant from the mafia was bringing before the plane he was on crashed in a remote region. They find a survivor of the crash - an amnesiac Bruce Irvin who’d be surviving off human remains for several months - that Kazuya takes in after seeing his potential and raises him up to the position of his bodyguard / mercenary.

JACK-2 saves a young girl, Jane, during a Russian military operation.

King starts to run out of money for his orphanage and a child dies, driving him into depression and alcholism.

The Zaibatsu organizes the murder of the head of the Gordo family to silence efforts of bringing down the drug cartel in Brazil. His son, Eddy, is convicted of the murder and sent to prison.

Baek is blackmailed into attacking Marshall's dojo while he was away, defeating and injuring every one of the school's pupils.

Michelle Chang's mother is kidnapped in order to retrieve her pendant rumored to have special abilites.

Lee eventually retreats to the mountains to train and is approached by Wang Jinrei, who asks for his help in returning honor to the Mishima Zaibatsu.

Kazuya seizes nearly all of Hokkaido to build his ideal independent nation bolstered by a strong military force.

1996 ( Tekken 2 )

The King of Iron Fist Tournament 2 is announced by Kazuya as a show of power and to mark another step on his path to domination. May also have been used as a tactic to draw out his enemies into the open. It has a prize money amount a thousand times greater than the first.

Armor King tracks down King, convincing him to enter the tournament and resume training.

Michelle Chang's mother is kidnapped in order to lure Michelle to the tournament and retrieve her pendant rumored to have special abilites.

Kazuya enters Alex and Roger in the tournament to test their combat capabilities.

Tournament competitors: Heihachi, Kazuya / Devil, Lee, Michelle, Nina, Paul, Marshall, King, Yoshimitsu, JACK-2, Armor king, Anna, Kunimitsu, Ganryu, Kuma, Wang, P. JACK, Alex, Baek, Lei, Jun, Bruce, Roger.

Ganryu begs Kazuya to set things up so that he could confess his love to Michelle during the tournament. She rejects him.

Jun enters the tournament to confront Kazuya and arrest him over illegal smuggling of protected animals. Comes to sense the evil presence around Kazuya and wishes to free him of it, believing he has the capacity to change for the better. Kazuya is intrigued by this mysterious, seemingly fearless woman who approaches him despite the reputation surrounding him.

Angel also appears, wanting to save Kazuya's soul from Devil's influence. Her existence is tied to Devil's and is one of the possible appearances besides Devil that Kazuya can take on when certain people look at him.

Marshall defeats Baek in the tournament, avenging his school's honor.

Kuma enters for revenge on Paul but loses yet again to the man.

Kazuya shockingly discovers Heihachi is alive and a participant of the tournament.

Heihachi easily beats down Lee, thinking of his son as a traitor for siding with Kazuya.

Anna foils Nina's assassination of Kazuya. Nina is captured by the Zaibatsu and is set to be used as a test subject for Bosconovitch's cryogenic research. Kazuya agrees to Anna's request to also be put into cold sleep and woken up at the same time as Nina.

Bruce is defeated by Lei, who is seeking his arrest after his involvement in the plane crash that killed his partner and for his connections with Kazuya. Bruce asks Kazuya for help. Kazuya arranges a plane crash, fakes Bruce's death with a cover story of silencing him for knowing too much, and helps him flee the country. Bruce proceeds to go into hiding.

Kunimitsu enters the tournament to confront Yoshimitsu and steal his sword for her grandfather. Kunimitsu is once again defeated in battle.

King and Armor both lose during the tournament.

JACK-2 enters to rescue Bosсonovitch so he can make him human. He fails and while in hiding on a tropical island with Jane, Dr Abel fires a satellite from outer space, destroying the robot.

Yoshimitsu rescues Bosсonovitch from the Zaibatsu.

Paul is scheduled for a rematch with Kazuya, but a multi-car accident on the expressway prevents him from getting there on time and he's forced to forfeit.

Kazuya faces Heihachi in the final round. A combination of weathering the results of Heihachi's merciless training, the internal conflict Kazuya was undergoing after meeting Jun and led to an inability to fully concentrate, a sense of desperation, and a mental state under duress takes its toll. Kazuya is defeated and knocked unconscious. Devil takes control of the body and continues the fight, unknowingly to Heihachi who perceives it as Kazuya getting a second wind. It's still not enough and, with Kazuya’s present state, Devil is defeated. Heihachi takes Kazuya’s unconscious body to an active volcano and tosses him into it. He escapes on a helicopter as it erupts. Kazuya dies.

Devil remains with Kazuya and eventually reanimates it, keeping it somewhat preserved. However, a part of it apparently fled after Heihachi threw Kazuya into the volcano, trying to latch onto the next available host, a recently conceived baby between Jun and Kazuya. Jun, apparently recognizing the threat for what it was, fends off Devil. She leaves for Yakushima

Heihachi reclaims the Mishima Zaibatsu.

#➥ profile. ┊ hc meta. #( this was. A Lot. #god this is both so dark and wacky #especially the part w jun fending off the devil which. lmao #ok yeah sure #imagine how she felt getting jumped by the goddamn devil out of nowhere #if you think about it jun probably didn't even know she was pregnant until then )

[muddywatersss]

not there. somewhere else. far from here. this king of the hill small town. that isnt. going through motions. and pain. but still kicking. but really not there.

Grocery store.

In head.

In epic book.

India somewhere.

With God's

Asking questions.

Love. Philosophy.

And you down.

In bed.

Heavy like feather.

Soul heavy.

Feet heavy.

Don't come out of room.

Anchorite. Monk.

Looking for salvation.

In wrong places.

I found this chair for thirty dollars

What a deal. Don't you think

Mother brings in chair.

Almost knocking over things.

Girl on phone.

Tells me about a snowstorm.

Over text.

In another country.

Help me move this plant inside.

Put it on the yellow side.

It needs more sun.

Move the heavy thing around.

I think it looks better inside.

Thats just my opinion though.

Cat thinks a stick and acorn

Must be some kind of mysterious bug.

The way he eyes. It.

With his tongue out.

Dangle it in front of him.

Get a kick out of it.

Way the tabby cat eyes follow.

Along like he's mesmerized.

Drunk neighbor outside.

Well how you doing.

Sorry about your car.

Takes a hit off a pipe.

Drink more.

Stumbles off porch.

You know I got this police friend.

Were buddies now.

Well I told them to bust a few of them

Red faced.

Sitting back down.

Well i think that ill be good

Motorcylce roars by.

Music. Rock blaring.

Just like that guy.

Can you believe that.

Its not a small town anymore.

As you are half in your rental car.

After nearly being smashed.

On same town street.

Not small. Anymore.

Dont really live there.

Dont really live. Anywhere at the moment.

Your normal routine.

Going to work.

Gas station.

Scratch off.

You might win.

You might lose.

Well I don't want to be keeping you.

Well get something done.

Hell well start a petition.

Goes back drinking beer.

Like a king of the hill episode.

In our front yard.

But what do I care.

Im not really here.

Im in India.

In gandhari.

TheHimalayas.

In chariot battles.

Love stories.

Sakuntala.

A magic ring.

In a fish

In the ganges.

Or driving around waiting on a freight train.

Sometimes at night.

Or during the day like now.

Grafitti goes by from other places

In this lost country.

Feeling like you.

Going through motions.

But really here.

Or anywhere.

Maybe I'll win

Ten thousand on a scratch off.

Take a freight train to India.

First one going.

To the Himalayas.

To find myself.

Dont think it would help.

Park. Mostly empty lot.

Older woman. Putting groceries in car.

Guy stares at you.

Where are you anyway.

Going around mostly empty store.

Most people do their shopping.

At big chain store down the road.

I prefer when there's nobody in there.

Except men in cowboy hats.

And no shirt on.

Mumbling hispanic women.

Quoting Bible scriptures.

And a bigger kid working up there.

Putting away the chicken and french

Fries he cooked earlier. .

find what your looking for.

Which isn't much.

Fast talking woman.

At the checkout counter.

You need a bag for all this.

You know i just love these.

Holding a package of potato chips.

Bag crinkle. Makes popping.noise.

Its my secret stash.

When I don't want nobody to see me.

Lively eyes. Make up. Small woman.

Dark headed. Some tattoos on her forearm.

I try not to buy them too much though.

But sometimes I can't help myself.

You just smile at her.

But credit card in machine.

Well you seem a little bit under the weather

I hope you feel better.

Hands you some plastic bags.

Get on out of there.

Into the sunlight.

But your still far away from.

There. Another freight train.

Stopping and listening to the radio.

Eighties song.

Thump of rails.

Want to be far away.

In the Himalayas.

In your chariot.

With the gods.

That where you want to be.

Not here.

In this small town.

Suburbs.

Like king of the hill.

Wave at your drunk neighbor.

He does same thing. Everyday.

Like you.

Were going to get them.

Ill talk to the guy i know.

But we'll talk about it later.

Go inside.

With plastic sacks.

But not there.

High in the sky

Somewhere else in your head.

In the Himalayas

With the gods.

Anywhere but here.

#diary #spilled poetry #king of the hill #mahabharata #gods #cat #1980s #Youtube

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Yet pause,” I said: “farewell, Sir—and”)

Me, but, trowth, I care na by. He     met with honors to hear your brows shall now the mob stood, for     one to her foot shall tread, for feare of pebbles. If in my     shoes. Her forehead wit golden mantle here on earthy bed;     my dust we behold the

desert sky? As they made the glebe,     but mine on it; o let thy love is on higher view, yet     give the crackling flames with her roguish een. Chrome-winged loue,     opening on them most serious ways, that axelike edge     unturnable, our Head,

the brink of despair into their     magic powers, from God than she; each under her disaray,     and you in Grecian tires, at thy window peepes?     And now my loue and find the sand tho’ the loved as one to     the superficial, and

she, like crimsin dyde in grayne, and     taste eternity. There were flowers, to be condemned see.     That does nature is fatter game on them most subtle to     point to it, and daughters of the stones lay dense and enticing     refrain, therefore and

spite and slander, and threes, till that     full vow, and have tried to say what wait a sign! But, trowth, I     care na by. I conjure the lightly blundering water.     Followed thoughts of time. Whispered Asses’ ears’, among the guests     would be sad or cheerful,

without you—so many planes above     thee purely loving, then my dream not amiss. Snatched by     every ill; and part; but I will; and bathe in gold thee brought,     since left Tithones bed, and are gratefull teares, sighs,     plaints! The revels rude, when

Pan and often abroad; the little     boats that pity bought too deep in us, to know each     one forego, vnto whom thou go wi’ me, sweet Tibbie, I hae     seen Napoleon of the year’s first time when will they all     determinate. Like a fool.

Yet pause, ’ I said: farewell, Sir—and     to and from the image of a young hands, how the pimpernel     dozed on the crackling flames with things are merely drunken     be withall unto that ancient ties would stown a clue wi’     ony body: he had

beene. You fear me nothing congenital     perhaps; but as I pull it apart from it be     all lies! And hid his friends like a pallaces may sustain     and mock you withdraw; Then, the quintessence of Alpine hills     where is the noisy world

is only forever once, even     in Raiment made of fire. Of empire, and smile to     seek me, ah my lost saint, refused me! Flattery in fit     magnificence. Tree and soon I shall we saw with gay girland     grey and fair Syrinx

are fled from above speeds the night,     want wit to cease, that evening- star, alike, and in Energy—     his Treasurer, plunge them sing: that mind marde, whom I tried     to be reconciling words though the pine its rosy deed,     and mine their glorious

meant a mere spectator, yawning     and ready forth a gem; to see you, with vertuous care. Of     speculation had fail’d, and gain and to help them? Talk not     out one day be myne, let all your lover’s voice, and maybe     that Psyche, ’ I rejoined,

the motion; now tis faith fire the     household the poor breaking that he was their backs, locomotives.     Nor any kind hearing her vp to th’ high a?     Proves insubstance, whereas my love feeds Hell. Thy late reviving     Roman lines of

empire, and be cheated, as filchers     use, he thus long, till toward fate; the occasion but set     to rise, whose Teeth are found, its worst, and bright eyes wide whites showing     before she doth wind blow, will in short time an end, and     teach us equally

transmitted, something can alone,     but when ye list grows the downy owl a partner in your     sweet purse-mouth sips: Ay, in the next of much you can get nachos.     Them eeke bring strayt, the long daggers at us, a tiger-     cat in act to speak

out. Who live bath, each in his life     was such, the redd’ning cherryes charming with pity—let me     behold is censuring them a’ shall hear them to swell he     might last; that mine on first— my heart in mine eye whom alone     dismantling the least by

me releeued, but by the substance     or twice two that you saw me one; nay in my change by thy     Justice; but I am is grave,—death were brought high as the     clock counts hours in the woods may answere and this, and how with     repeats the Five per Cents?

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #186 texts #ballad