#maybe i should get buff so i can (properly) punch him in the face

[euphorianyx]

DADDY ISSUES[Dawn]-8.5-

Pairing: JungKook & Reader Genre: Smut / Intriguing / Violent / Soapy / Fluff / Angst | +18 | Summary: You believe you know someone you live together but that only counts if they are true to themselves. Can love really change someone or do they just hold back? What if you are yet to meet the dark side? Will you stay to handle all that or will you walk away? When there is something you have to protect, the choice is not really yours so you just do what you think is the best. ⟪A/N: Please do not copy or publish my work on other platforms without my permission. Every and each like & reblog are highly appreciated. ⟫ ⨳ DADDY ISSUES SUNSET -prequel- ⨳ ⨳ DADDY ISSUES DAWN other chapters ⨳ ⨳ DADDY ISSUES PLAYLIST ⨳

Distressed a bit JungKook sighed then fixed his posture on the uncomfortably small chair. He thought he almost had Min Ae there but she seemed quite determined. The muscular guard took his place by the armchair on the side. With a poker face, he fixed his eyes on JungKook and did not even blink. JungKook was annoyed and since the effect of propofol washed out his arms and legs began hurting.

Min Ae had to calm down before she walked into the small room and see him again. She walked to the small bar in the living room. She picked up the small glass and grabbed the bottle of tequila. Pouring little by little she did five shots in a row. Tiny fingers wrapped the bottle gently. Standing sloppily on her heels Min Ae dragged her body back to the room. The hidden door opened with a faint sound slowly. When the bodyguard saw Min Ae, he walked up to her immediately.

"Mam', it has been a long day. I think you should rest. He will be under my watch. You do not have to worry."

However, Min Ae ignored that reasonable request. Her eyes locked on JungKook she raised the bottle a little. Slurring her words, she took another step toward JungKook. Her thin finger opened the bottle while a devilish smile spread her parted lips.

"Shall I give you some? Maybe I can get done with this easier. You would be dead out of your recklessness."

JungKook knew alcohol would do no good after the amount of propofol Min Ae injected. Her fingers grabbed Jungkook by his sharp jaw and forced him to stay that way. Her eyes were locked on Jungkook's piercing gaze. JungKook did not open his mouth and Min Ae sighed in disappointment.

She gestured to the buff bodyguard and his large fist met with JungKook's side right away. Groaning with the pain JungKook then fixed his position again. His lips locked, JungKook gave Min Ae a small smile. Annoyed to her core Min Ae almost dug her nails into his cheeks while the man punched his side again, twice. Coughing a bit JungKook let out a low groan.

Min Ae took a step back as she still wondered one thing. God knew she would be cursing herself if she did not learn. Min Ae tried to put her words together and ask properly yet it was not easy at all so she blurted out.

"Did you kill my brother because of Ji Hyo?"

The question took Jungkook off guard. There were many reasons. Jimin betrayed JungKook, went after his money, and tried to hurt innocent people. Hence, if JungKook were honest to himself one of the reasons was indeed Ji Hyo. Though admitting that was not easy even for himself yet to say it out loud. Although, his silence already approved Min Ae's theory. Her lips curled up carrying both irony and pain.

"I would have done everything for you. That night…"

JungKook shook his head and his voice was somehow distant.

"That night would have never happened if I recognized you."

Losing her control through anger, Ji Hyo took a step and stood behind JungKook. Her fingers danced in his dark hair only to yank his head back.

"You were never really loyal to her, though. You fucked me in that tiny room for hours while she waited for you. When Jimin told you to take care of me you backed out."

JungKook had no idea he would have to face all those memories he buried. A whisper even he did not realize left his mouth.

"I loved her…I thought…"

Min Ae almost hissed between her teeth.

"So it is true."

Then her fingers let go of his head. With the force gone, JungKook's head fell front. When he looked up again, he let out a pitiful laugh.

"No…"

The real reason he killed Jimin was you. He killed him because he tried to hurt you. Only for you to see and leave him. Ji Hyo was his first love and Jimin ruined that. Then he finally trusted you and he managed to ruin that as well. Not only him, Taehyung, and you ruined it too.

When you showed up and saw him with someone else, JungKook still felt guilty. His fingers and lips were still yearning for you. Without thinking, he chased you but you ran away and went back to him. The man who dared to call himself your home. The worst part was you carrying his baby.

After the way JungKook said no, Min Ae stopped for a minute. Eyebrows furrowed she muttered your name. Even hearing that hurt JungKook and Min Ae could read it in his face. His twisted expression and deep eyes. She sounded like she was about to cry.

"What does she have that you murdered for her?"

JungKook had nothing to answer. A part of him still believed in your love was real. His mind tried to kick some sense into him that you were with Taehyung and did not care about him. His short dry laugh was full of pain.

"Believe me I ask myself the same question."

Min Ae was annoyed to her core. No, she was raged. Had no idea if it was Jimin or JungKook's stupidly blind love for you but Min Ae finally got the strength to end this.

Yugyeom directed his eyes at you and they were wide with shock.

"Excuse me, for you?"

You tried to come off cool so spoke rather shortly.

"Yes, why?"

Yugyeom shook his head twice as took two steps away.

"Mrs. Jeon, if anything happens to you Mr. Jeon will end me the same way so, no."

You crossed your arms and put on a poker face.

"Yugyeom, nothing will happen."

Yugyeom was clearly stressed as he inhaled deeply.

"Mrs. Jeon I have to deny this."

You arched an eyebrow at him.

"I am ready to take the risk Yugyeom but I guess you are not."

You turned around and were ready to leave to order someone else to get the explosives ready but he stopped you. With no word, Yugyeom only paid you a tired yet respectful stare and then left the room. Sitting there by the edge of the bed almost empty, your eyes stared into the space. Hand on your belly, thoughts began twirling around your head. You were not risking yourself but also your baby.

You tried to focus on saving him and leaving together, all fine. You still were scared and you could feel your hands getting colder. Trying to put an image of JungKook hugging and kissing your forehead in your mind you just prayed. You did not even hear Yugyeom's knock at first. You answered only after the third time. Yugyeom slowly walked in and noticed your stunned figure.

He left the toy car and the packs of reinforced C4 on the bed slowly. When he faced you again, his hand reached and landed on our shoulder. Panicking for a second Yugyeom pulled his hand right away.

"Y/N, you do not have to do this. You can stay here perfectly safe and I can take care of everything."

It was the first time Yugyeom used your name. He still did not know if it was out of boundaries yet he did it because of his genuine concern.

"I don't know what will happen Yugyeom and however it ends it is for us all."

Even the possibility of it may be for the last time caused your heart an incredible ache. Yugyeom could read behind those words. He just did not know what to say so simply nodded and tied up the packs next to each other. With a visible gulp, you unzipped your trousers up to your thighs. You tried to tie it but your hands began shaking. Noticing that Yugyeom got down on his knees.

"Allow me."

He said simply with a rather dry voice then tied it up. Hands still on the strings, Yugyeom looked up at you. He seemed as if he wanted to say something but he did not. Though he decided, that if there was a way for him to save you he would not hesitate. After his encouraging nod, you were ready to leave.

Yugyeom and you took the same car. Father Jeon decided to follow you with his Rolls Royce. Other men were following Yugyeom's orders and driving in front and behind you. With only a few words exchanged and a few in-ear talks of Yugyeom, the ride was uneasy for you. As you got closer to the house, he used his in-ear piece again.

"Last situation?"

A few seconds passed and you could see he grabbed the wheel tighter.

"Alright, share your location."

After those words Yugyeom did not take the last turn to Min Ae's house, indeed he drove faster.

Min Ae took a step away from JungKook when her phone rang. The deep voice on the other side of the line explained.

"There is a car across the street we have never seen before. Two men inside and they have been around for two hours."

Min Ae rolled her eyes out of annoyance.

"And you tell me just now? Get ready. We are leaving to the storehouse."

Min Ae turned around her heels and left the small room in hurry. Two more guards joined the buff man. They dragged Jungkook out and just when they got close JungKook locked his feet on the ground. He hit the man on his left with his elbow and swung a punch at the one on the right. The buff guy grabbed the shiny grey gun from the belt of his trousers and directed it at JungKook in no time.

"Move. Get in the car."

Being in front of the barrel was nothing new to JungKook but being tied up and helpless was. He thought if he could kick his hand to get rid of the gun. Measuring the distance with his eyes JungKook concluded the guard was out of his reach. Taking one or two steps were about to help but two more men showed up and walked towards them quicker than he expected. Back to phase number one, JungKook had no option.

In no time, he was stuffed in the back of a black car. Two large hands tied his eyes up with a piece of black fabric. JungKook kept his silence though he was sure of one thing. The way everyone rushed after the phone meant one thing: Someone found out he was there.

The ride got a little bumpy and JungKook realized they were out of the city. He tried to figure out the direction in case he needs. If he was not wrong it had been approximately half an hour since they left and the car finally slowed down.

The agonizing sound of breaks filled his ears. A few gunshots followed and a few people were running around. Then the car turned left only to stop in a couple of minutes. Two strong arms on each side forced him to walk somewhere. The smell of dampness disturbed him then he heard the sound of a metal door clashing.

He was forced to stand somewhere and his tie was undone until his arms lifted and he felt the chain wrapping his wrists even worse than the ropes. By the clicking sound of her shoes, JungKook knew Min Ae finally walked in. She stopped in front of him and looked at Jungkook up to down. Even though she was in high heels she almost reached to untie his eyes. JungKook felt her arms around his shoulders and her hair brushed his cheek. When his sight was finally back, JungKook gave her a faint smirk.

"Well… Knowing you, I expected to be tied up to a bed. This really is not that comfortable."

Min Ae squinted her eyes out of annoyance.

"The me you know is gone, Jeon."

JungKook let out a dry laugh but it got cut when the guy behind him pulled the chains and stretched his arms to the point they hurt. The low groan leaving his mouth satisfied Min Ae. JungKook directed his dark gaze at her.

"Then end it now."

Min Ae shook her head with a devilish smirk on her tiny lips.

"Oh, please. Not before Y/N arrives here."

JungKook threw his body forward, only to be hit by bats from each side. Two men standing there were strong and did not hold back at all. The pain was undeniable and his body was aching badly. JungKook also could feel the taste of the blood in his mouth since his teeth cut it with the force. Voice low, JungKook almost growled at Min Ae.

"You will not mess with her, Min Ae. If you try, I will do things you cannot even imagine."

Min Ae's smile grew as she took a step toward him.

"Well try… But that's what you deserve, isn't it? Losing the most important person to you…"

With that, she left and men around him started to punch JungKook.

YugYeom followed the signal of the GPS and realized it finally stopped somewhere. Yugyeom's eyes locked on the road he did not even slow the car down until he recognized the car he sent. He told the ones in front to stop and hit the brakes as well.

"Mrs. Jeon, please stay in the car."

Your curious eyes followed as he walked closer to the car by the corner. Cursing out of his usual calm attitude, Yugyeom rushed back to the car. He took a few seconds to formulate the sentences in his head. Already stressed you opened your mouth to talk yet he took the lead.

"They know, Y/N. They left the car here with dead men inside for one reason."

Heart racing in your chest, you tried not to give in to the fear. You took a deep breath but did not speak. Your expectant gaze was still on Yugyeom so he explained.

"They want us to go there only if we are ready to die."

Yugyeom did not speak or move for a good minute. He obviously was waiting for your reaction. Closing your eyes for a mere second you inhaled deeply.

"I will not change my mind, Yugyeom. Drive…"

Yugyeom hesitated but your eyes were still locked on the road and you did not even blink. He used his in-ear piece to inform others then drove off. The car finally stopped a bit away from the shabby storehouse. You checked the place out. A few men in black clothes were strolling around the front door in the garden. The storehouse seemed big but worn out. The walls were blacked out because of dampness. The huge door was rusty.

You noticed the thin woman walking out. Chae Soo - in her real name - Min Ae seemed totally different with her darker and shorter hair. Yugyeom told everyone where to wait and what to do. Then your eyes met.

"I am going in."

Yugyeom grabbed your arm before you could open the door. Eyebrows knitted together, Yugyeom shook his head.

"You cannot just do that. Even we do not know what will happen."

After the message they left, you knew Min Ae wanted you. Delaying only would cost you time. Yes, you were scared. Scared to the point you felt nauseous. Meantime you also wanted this to end as soon as possible.

"She wants me, Yugyeom. I know that. There is no reason to wait."

Even though he hesitated, Yugyeom let your arm go.

"Men here will go in with you. There is a window at the back. My vision will be restricted so try to stay around there. I will be ready. If you feel anything use this cue me."

Then he showed you a simple gesture. You copied it and nodded at him. You walked toward the storehouse with slow yet steady steps. Two men before and others on each side of you stopped by the big door. Min Ae cursed as she handed the cigar and lighter to the man waiting next to her. She walked closer to the main door and noticed you right away. She stopped a foot away with her arms crossed on her chest.

"You are quicker than I expected."

Not to let her cocky behavior bring you down, you arched an eyebrow and spoke rather coldly.

"I am not here to play around Min Ae. I want to see JungKook."

Min Ae gestured for her man to stay calm and turned around. You followed her, not knowing what to expect. The rusty door opened loudly but Min Ae stopped you before you stepped into the storehouse.

"You were kind enough to learn my name. We do not welcome a crowd here. Only you."

Your eyes drifted to the second man in command on your right, who was already on full alert.

"I see you took my kindness for granted."

You gestured for the men to walk in. Then you heard guns being pulled and stood on your heels right away. Min Ae walked behind you with a cunning smile. She gestured for her men to move.

Your eyes landed on JungKook right away. Wrists chained, white shirt stained in his blood. Seeing him all wounded like that hurt. JungKook already had his eyes on you so you tried to fight the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

"JungKook"

Hearing your familiar voice saying his name, JungKook gulped visibly.

"Y/N?!"

He found it hard to understand. You left him for another man, a man that got you pregnant. Why would you show up? The confusion and offense were clear in the way he said your name. Not only that… He was worried, worried that something may happen to you. You ran toward him. Your arms wrapped him expertly. Finally feeling his warmth and his smell washing your face you could not hold those tears back anymore.

"What are you doing here?"

You pulled away from him while JungKook's eyes searched yours as his simple question lingered in the air. You had no idea how to explain but fancy words were not needed.

"Taehyung lied to you, JungKook."

Eyes wide JungKook merely whispered.

"What?!"

Biting your lips, you rushed along with your breath.

"It's you. I tried to tell you. Remember when I showed up that night. I saw you with her and I just…"

JungKook knew you were telling the truth. He knew you well enough to read everything. The way you were on the verge of hysteria, the ring on your finger… It was the truth

"I still love you."

You were almost trembling in front of him.

"I love you too. Even if you drive me insane."

Forgetting everything you were ready to hug him again until you felt the barrel behind your head. Min Ae stood right behind you with her small gun directed and ready to fire.

NEXT CHAPTER

#daddy issues #jungkook #bts #bangtan #jungkook fic #jungkook story #jungkook smut #jungkook romance #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook angst #bts fic #bts story #bts smut #bts romance #bts angst #bts x you #bts x reader #bts x oc #taehyung #jimin

[fireflake-art]

this is just a dump don’t worry about it

And i’ll break their ass down

Felicity Smoak

How I feel about this character

I’m love her. Felicity is the main reason why I kept on my Arrow binge, and now it’s one of my favorite shows.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Oliver, of course! Let’s go down the list, in order of which I shipped them; Sara, Alena, Nyssa, Black Siren. Probably more but i haven’t rewatched the earlier seasons in a while

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Curtis, bffs

My unpopular opinion about this character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

More badass moments. Felicity is an amazing hacker, but I truly believe she would have advanced in the field as well if trained. Sure, I love Morally Gray! Felicity, but this part of her was quickly demonized by her friend group and I dunno that’s just uncomfortable for me. Felicity ain’t allowed to carry a gun so she can feel safe? She’s been kidnapped how many fucking times and Oliver’s throwing a shitfit now that she has the means to protect herself? It just doesn’t make sense. I feel like Oliver would object to Felicity killing, but also, she’s already commited mass murder? That’s the entire reason Ragboy left? Like she’s already killed people, Oliver, she’s been to the dark side before, dude, you can’t “save” her. I think he would’ve been more likely to train Felicity so she can defend herself properly so the gun wasn’t her only source of defense just in case it was used against her. Honestly all the teams need to train their more brainy members how to fight in general, you cannot have a person involved in something that could get them killed and not do that guys

Killer Frost (The Flash)

How I feel about this character

TSUNDERE BABE

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Caitlin, OTP. I’ve never created so much art for a pairing before, whether it be fanfics or drawings. Silver Banshee and Livewire is my favorite crack ot3 for her. Probably makes passes at all her boys’ girls, like Iris and Kamilla and Sue

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Ralphie! They’re bros

My unpopular opinion about this character

Gagagagagagagaagay, socially awkward tsundere, just wants to be loved, will punch you in the face if you find out, panic attacks 24/7, so much anger issues

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More soft moments with the team. I think she and Iris would work really well as passive-aggressive friends, y’know the type whose love language is insulting each other constantly

Cisco Ramon (The Flash)

How I feel about this character

I wuv him. Third favorite in the Flash, behind Frost and Cait respectively. Long hair, don’t care, nerd boy, i have a big gay crush on him, I really connect to his whole ‘i-was-emotionally-neglected-by-my- parents-and-fictional-characters-raised-me’ vibe. Also hair. pwetty. run hair??? run fingers through hair? ples

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Alright I’m poly and a multishipper so this is gonna be a long one. Keep in mind that I personally headcanon Cisco as bisexual aromantic, but as a subset identity called cupioromantic; my basic understanding of it is that though this label has no romantic feelings, they desire relations that are romantic-esque. Let’s go down the list! Ralph Dibny, Sue, and Kamilla as an ot4 absolutely melts me, Iris and Cisco are so good but Barco is neat too! Them as an ot3 could be so cute. Ronnie x Cisco is a gem. OH and he and Hartley used to date but broke up

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Caitlin of course! They’re best bros! The nerdy scientist and the professional doctor, both emotionally stunted idiots. I like to think they bonded over a shared love for horror movies, and that’s how they became friends. Also a bit of Killer Frost! Of course Cisco would have some relationship with his best friend’s alter. They’re not best friends (Frost considers Ralph her best friend), but they’re close. He introduced her to Game of Thrones. Frost calls him “Cissy,” “Transco” and “Vibeboy.” Cisco overuses “White Walker” way too much when talking with her.

My unpopular opinion about this character

A good boy?? I dunno, I can never find any content for Aro Cisco. I like to think that he’s emotionally stunted because his parents weren’t affectionate, and he developed a broad fixation on escapist fantasies for comfort and stimulation, like tv shows and comics. This could just be a projection ha 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish Cisco would just get confirmed as trans already! And he should talk about the fact he has a dead brother more often, that sting doesn’t just go away after a few episodes. Also give him and Iris more of a relationship. Also make him talk to Ralph more. Also there needs to be more chemistry with Kamilla, like comeon guys let’s see some banter over here rn he has more canonical chemistry with Ralph’s girlfriend

Caitlin Snow (The Flash)

How I feel about this character

My socially awkward darling.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Killer Frost. Just,, Frostie. Killersnow is my jam, I still chug out content for it to this day. Also Patty x Cait is a fun crackship, maybe throw Iris in it, too. Probably has a small crush on Kara and Kate. Way bigger crush on Lena and Alex. Buff smarties are her bread and butter, probably why she was so into Ronnie. Otherwise I generally see her as asexual

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cisco, Barry, Ralphie. Cisco especially, they’re besties, everyday, inside jokes, binge-watch together, dumb idiots with wildly different coping mechanisms, I think that;s why I like their friendship so much? Cait sort of just shuts down, ignores it, pushes herself into something she views as more productive than her thoughts and feelings. Cisco de-constructs his emotions by putting them in ways he can easily understand, into comics and characters, because tv was his only escape from the emotional neglect his family offered. Caitlin focused solely on getting out and being someone Thomas could be proud of, y’know? 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Ace, bi, poly. Neutral, polite, aloof, superiority complex, inferiority complex, definite imposter syndrome-- idunno i fell in love with s1 Cait and I wish her canonically life-long tendency to repress and deny would show up more. Definitely the smartest in any given group (and she knows it), but is nice about it. Remember in season one when she called a brain freeze the long-ass scientific name? Instant love, I’m love her, I wish she did that more, clearly she loves science and medicine and biology so so much and I really hope they show more of her being a fuckin dork for it, it makes her feel so much more human, she’s just. great

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Just went on a rant about it in the above text. Let Caitlin be a dork! Let her be repressive and emotional and I-can-do-it-on-my-own-y! Let her be all this and more, a human whose conditioned herself a robot, I love that concept so much. Let Caitlin be herself!

[dapper-ships-herself]

Should you fight my f/os?

Tagged by @megane-shipping @rose-wine-selfships @firebird-inkheart

I have many f/os, so this isn't all of them but I still did a fair number of 'em.

Also the rating system confused me but I did my best.

Dazai: He looks pretty scrawny, and while he is a pretty good fighter fighter through skill he isn't the physically strongest opponent, but you still wouldn't be able to beat him. He'd come up with some sort of plan where you'd probably think you'd won but then you turn around and oop no Dazai won. How does that work? Who fucking knows.

No fighting Dazai. 2/10

Erza Scarlet: She will kick your ass with the power of friendship and her eighteen thousand swords. Are you kidding me? She's queen of the fairies, no way. Beating her up only inspires her to win for the sake of her guild.

No fighting Erza. 1/10

Shinobu Kocho: She will poison you with a smile on her face. Unless your name is Douma, I would not recommend (ouch).

No fighting Shinobu. 4/10

Chuuya Nakahara: if you're looking to get crushed by a manlet in a fancy hat, then go for it. He's quite possibly one of the strongest ability users out there, but tell him Dazai called him a nerd or whatever and he'll fly into a rage that you can either use to your advantage or will result in you being crushed faster.

No fighting Chu-tan. 1/10

Yosano Akiko: Holy shit what? You're going to fight her? She will hack you to pieces, put you back together, and then repeat, repeat, repeat until she has to go and catch a sale.

No fighting Yosano. 4/10

Howard Phillips Lovecraft: You have a chance so long as he continues to give into his tiredness, he may simply lay there while you beat the shit out of him. Make sure you keep him from going all eldritch monstrocity on your ass though.

Not advised to fight Lovecraft. 3/10

Edgar Allen Poe: He's baby, why would you fight him? I know his best friend is a raccoon and he looks like he hadn't been outside since he was a baby, but what would you accomplish by fighting him?

To remain a decent person no fighting Poe. 5/10

Mark Twain: He's allergic to wearing shirts properly and thinks he's all buff and stuff, but you can punch him in the eye and knock him the fuck out. His little doll friends ain't gonna do shit. So long as you get too close for him to snipe you, you've got this.

Fight Mark. 7/10

Margaret Mitchell: I would really rather you not, she's napping. If you did, though, be ready to get caught in your own personal tornado while she rants about restoring her families honor. Unless your name is Akutagawa, be careful.

Not advised to fight Margaret. 5/10

Higuchi Ichiyo: She's certainly not the most formidable opponent, but she would gladly cut a thousand bitches for the sake of getting senpai to notice her.

You could fight Higuchi but it's not advised. 6/10

Gin Akutagawa: You wouldn't even hear her coming. The thought of fighting her would be brand new and then whoops, you've got a knife to the throat. She's not a leader of the black lizards for no reason.

Not advised to fight Gin. 4/10

Beelzebub: There is a chance that he would literally eat you, but for the most part while he is a big, beefy demon, he's also a teddy bear; he'd probably let you punch him over and over with a straight face. Stay away from his food and you should be fine.

Maybe fight Beelzebub. 6/10

Mammon: On one hand, he is the second most powerful of his brothers, he could easily destroy you. On the other hand, boy gets beat up verbally and physically by his brothers every damn day and has a mountain of insecurities, poke at those and you could probably win. Or make him even more mad. It's a gamble with the avatar of greed, my guy.

Maybe fight Mammon but not advised. 5/10

Jae-ha: He's a quick fellow, and his aim with those daggers is pretty spot on, it'd be very difficult and your best chance would be to try and ground him so he can't use his dragon leg. Although, he's a pervert and would probably like getting beat up, so you could win simply by that

Not advised to fight Jae-ha unless he's feeling especially nasty: 5/10

Chain Sumeragi: She can literally make herself completely undetectable and then stick her hand through you to play with your insides, unless you can get past that somehow, you're fucked.

No fighting Chain. 3/10

Steven Alan Starphase: He will Esmeralda Blood Freeze you before you can even blink and the shatter you into ice cubes for his drink. He ain't afraid to get his hands dirty.

No fighting Steven. 3/10

The Happy Huntresses: They're an experienced team of top of their class huntresses; four badasses trained not only to fight people but also giant evil monsters.

No fighting the happy huntresses. 4.5/10

Meis and Gueira: I mean they look decently tough with those bikes and the armor and the fire, but everytime we see them in a fight they get their asses handed to them in like two seconds. Best to be equiped with a fire extinguisher or like some ice cubes to chuck at 'em.

Maybe fight them. 6/10

Aizawa Shouta: Your best bet is to catch him in the middle of a nap, but please be so careful not to wake him up, he's most likely be so cranky that he'd forget he's a hero and snap your neck.

Not advised to fight Aizawa. 5/10

Idia Shroud: His scrawny ass barely ever leaves his room, he hasn't lifted anything heavier than his phone ever, he's a flaming stick basically.

You could fight Idia. 7/10

Sesshomaru: He has very little mercy to spare and has killed a great deal of people and demons.

No fighting Sesshomaru. 2/10

Annie January: She is capable of blinding and throwing you across the room with a beam of light from her hands and can lift like thirty two times her bodyweight. Unless you also have superpowers, would not recommend.

Not advised to fight Annie. 5/10

Byleth: She's a skilled fighter on her own, but she also has an army of feral students ready to beat the shit out of anyone who messes with their proffessor.

No fighting Byleth. 4/10

Shatina: Her greatest joy is beating people up and watching them bleed, she steps on and torments even her closest allies on a near daily basis. She would crush you and the go right back to drinking.

No fighting Shatina. 4/10

Maeve: I'm actually not sure what kind of fighting ability she has, but why would you want to hurt a goddess?

No fighting Maeve. 5/10

Ban: He's a member of one of the strongest groups of fighters in the land, and he's able to almost immediately regenerate after any and all damage. Also, he's like 10 feet tall, what are you going to do? Chew on his ankles until they snap off? They grow right back.

No fighting Ban. 4/10

Joxter: Fucking feral cat man, too lazy to fight back. Kick his ass.

Fight Joxter. 8/10

Shigure Sohma: Please fight Shigure, please. I will put my bet on you and watch.

Please fight Shigure. 9/10

Vodka: She's used to fighting giant fallen angels, she'd have no trouble kicking your ass and looking good while doing it. Also, she could simply send her hawk Andre to peck out your eyes before she even has to do any work.

Not advised to fight Vodka. 5.5/10

Jordan 'JD' Davies: They're the Jersey Devil. Literally, the Jersey Devil. They'd burn you to a crisp with their fire powers. But, your chances of victory aren't zero if you could find a way to deal with that. They're strong, but you could find a way with a fist fight. Fuck knows they deserve to be fought.

You probably shouldn't but fight JD anyways. 7/10

Zoro: You're going to fight a guy who wields three swords? One of which he sticks in his mouth? He's clearly crazy. Also I'm pretty sure he cuts a mountain in half at some point or something like that? So there's that to take into consideration. You're best bet would be to also be amazing with swords.

No fighting Zoro. 3/10

Nami: She's not the most powerful out of all of all of her crew, but if you beat her you will leave afterwards and notice that your wallet and all your valuables that you had on you are missing and she's already sailing away.

You could fight Nami but you will be poor afterwards. 7/10

Mollymauk Tealeaf: Hasn't he been through enough?

No fighting Molly please. 5/10

Zora: She will turn you into a literal baby, how do you plan on beating her up as an infant with your chubby lil baby hands?

No fighting Zora: 4/10

And I wanted to include some familial too

Yukichi Fukuzawa: Have you seen him fight with a sword? You won't even see him draw it.

No fighting Fukuzawa. 2/10

Ogai Mori: He will trick you into thinking he's merely a simple, friendly neighborhood physician, and then the moment your back is turned there will be a scalpel buried deep in it. Also, he has a demon baby at his command.

No fighting Ogai. 2/10

Kouyou Ozaki: You might think you're sneaking up on her, but her Golden Demon will cut you down without her even needing to look away from admiring the flowers and sipping her tea.

No fighting Kouyou. 2/10

Oda Sakunosuke: HASN'T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

No fighting Oda PLEASE. 4/10

Ranpo Edogawa: While he has eaten nothing but processed sugar since the day he was born, he will eviscerate you with his words and leave you too mentally beaten to lift a finger. Stuff your ears with some cotton and kick his scrawny ass. The rest of the detective agency will come after you, though.

Not advised but go ahead and fight Ranpo. 5/10

Yumeno Kyusaku: So much as look at this child wrong, much less lay a finger on them, and I will be the one fighting you.

NO FIGHTING YUMENO. 0/10

Lio Fotia: I know he looks like a dandy who was abandoned and raised by a biker gang, but he is also the strongest known burnish. The only thing saving you is his code against killing.

Not advised to fight Lio. 4/10

Laxus Dreyar: He's an asshole, and I completely understand wanting to fight him, but he is jacked as shit with the power of lightning at his finger tips.

It's not smart but I would like to watch you do it anyways. 2/10

Noctis Lucis Caelum: He'd rather fish than fight you, but he is capable of taking down giant monsters and mini armies with the ability to teleport. Tell him Hot Topic is going out of business and he'll crumble.

Not advised to fight Noctis but eh maybe you could. 4/10

Pretty sure all the people I would've tagged have already done it? So do this if you want to.

#self ship #self shipping #should you fight my f/os? #selfship #selfshipping #self ship community #dazian #erzian #I'm too lazy right now to tag them all gonna do that later

[2-fandom-2-furious]

A/N: BFU Reader-insert. Detective!AU, and the reader is a murderer.

TW: Some violence, but nothing major. Read on AO3

The office was cold and bland, the lighting poor. You faced what you knew was a two-way mirror, wondering if the officers who would interrogate you were on the other side, or off finishing up other business. You doubt anyone particularly cared how long you were left waiting. You checked your reflection, wishing your hands weren’t cuffed to the cheap table so you could at least work on making your hair look more presentable. It’s important to look your best at a reunion.

You jerked your head to face the door at the sound of the hinges creaking, throwing up a smirk and leaning back in your chair.

“Well hey, look who finally decided to show up! I was starting to think you guys chickened out or something; bribed Detective Lim to interrogate me instead.” You fiddled with the chain of your handcuffs, biting your lip in a poor attempt to hold back your grin.

In walked an easily identifiable figure. Short, but almost scarily buff, was Detective Bergara. His dark hair was tousled and messy, his suit askew, and the bags under his eyes were almost as big as the body bags you so frequently used.

“Boy, little Mr. B, you’re looking tired. Been losing sleep over something?” the grin continued to pull at your lips when you saw the man’s eye twitch. But to your surprise, a familiar smile greeted you. He placed down a mug of coffee on the table, his eyes twinkling with levity despite the clear exhaustion they showed.

“Didn’t think we’d be seeing you again for a while. Mind telling me your trick?” his weariness most certainly rang true in his voice. How he was still awake, you didn’t know.

“Ahh, you mean that little prison escapade. C’mon, you didn’t really think that old cell could hold me for long, did you?” you winked, and clicked your tongue for good measure.

The detective sighed, his face tugged down into a tight frown. Though, you weren’t too convinced of his anger.

“You want something to drink?” he asked gruffly, nodding towards a smaller table up against the wall. A water cooler and some paper cups rested on top, and you were tempted to say yes, your throat dry and scratchy from your hours spent untended and alone in the interrogation room, before the door creaked on its hinges yet again, and a newcomer entered.

Another familiar face, you’d come to find. Officer Madej, Ryan’s partner in crime. Or, just the opposite. His partner in stopping crime.

“Ay, the gang’s all here!” you cheered.

Officer Madej looked unamused, pulling out a chair for Bergara to sit in and handing him a manila folder, a few thinner, emptier folders in his other hand. He looked determined and businesslike. This wouldn’t do.

“Leggy, long time no see! Gosh, what’s it been, three months? I must say, you-”

You stopped dead, more out of shock than by choice. You blinked. Once. Twice.

You could feel a handprint forming on your cheek from the swift slap the officer had just delivered, and fleetingly attempted to lift a hand to touch it, before the metallic jingling at your wrist reminded you of your current predicament.

Detective Bergara broke the brief, but tense silence.

“Jesus, Shane-!”

“Nice to see you too, pal.” You resisted the urge to spit on the table, and instead sat up to better look the officer in the face.

“Talk.” The papers Officer Madej had been holding hit the table with a muffled thwap!, and you swallowed.

“What do you want me to say?” you gave a shaky attempt at a smirk, but you could tell by his narrowed eyes that Madej wasn’t entertained. “I’m not telling you how I got out of jail, if that’s what you’re looking for, so you can check that off your list.”

Shane huffed, and you flashed a quick glance over to Bergara, who seemed rattled.

“Ry, go to my office and grab the blue folder on my desk. I forgot it before heading over here, my mistake.” The officer’s eyes didn’t leave your face for a second. Ryan swallowed, but nodded and obeyed, leaving you alone with his partner.

“Go ahead then. Have at me, beast!” you spat, facing him dead on, though you had to crane your neck to make eye contact.

His fist made contact with your cheek, and you felt your jaw click. In a second, you were sprawled on your side on the floor, your chair toppled backwards from the force of the punch, and your handcuffs restraining you from going with it with a jolt strong enough to pull a yelp from you.

On the other side of the table, you could see him shaking his hand, his knuckles a stark pink contrast to his pale skin. Your breathing was wobbly, and your eyes were leaking tears, but your mouth remained closed. You caught his eyes, silent and defiant, and he grumbled under his breath before turning his back to you.

The door opened, a few inches at a time, and Detective Bergara reentered the room, folder in hand.

“Jesus Christ! What happened?! Shane, you can’t just slap people aroun-”

“They’re a murderer! A killer! I’ll slap them all I like, then I’ll put them back and jail, and slap em’ again a few months later! They aren’t gonna talk? Fine. But I’m not gonna sit here while they give us that smug attitude!” Madej slammed his fist down on the table, before jerking his hand back, wincing in pain.

Ryan stepped forward, hands held placatingly in front of himself, and stood between you and officer Madej, pushing the table out of his way.

“Alright. Let’s all just… settle down. Avoid slapping murderers, yeah?”

Shane huffed, running his non-injured hand through his hair absentmindedly.

“Yeah, you’re acting like a total Shaniac.” You began to grin again, though it only encased half of your face, looking a bit lopsided. Shane was done slapping you around; you were most likely safe with Ryan here.

The two men exchanged a brief, unamused look, before turning back to you.

“Come on, that was a good one and you know it.”

Silence.

“Look, I can feel my face swelling and bruising. Appreciate that I'm being humorous.” 

More silence.

You began to wonder if the novelty of this cat and mouse game was wearing off. You commit a crime and run, they catch you, you get away, repeat. You'd always found great amusement in it, especially getting caught and having these little interrogation sessions with the boys, but things seemed different this time around. More business. More frustration.

Shane stepped forward, the sound of his boots on the tile echoing in the complete silence of the room. 

Before thinking about it, you jerked back. The jingling of your handcuffs quickly reminding you that there was nowhere for you to go. Desperately, you sent a panicked glimpse at Ryan, who caught your gaze and planted a hand on Officer Madej's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

“Relax. I'm done hitting them. For now.”

Officer Madej- no, Shane, hunched over awkwardly to offer you a hand to help right yourself, which you gladly took. Even once you were standing, he towered over you, a good six and half feet, was your estimate.  

Once you were standing properly, Shane picked up the cheap and uncomfortable chair from where it lay on its side, and replaced it by the table. He gestured to it quickly, silently indicating that you should sit, then circled back around to the other side of the table. Ryan followed, grabbing his rapidly cooling cup of coffee and taking a gulp.

You watched them with an attentive eye, wary of Shane’s newly developed temper.

“Talk to us.” Ryan commanded. His tone was steely and unwavering, though one look into his eyes told you he was far more concerned, or even pitying, than he was angry.

Pity was worse than anger.

“Well, uh. I’m out of prison, if you didn’t hear.” You began. You cursed your inability to take anything seriously. Here you were, in an interrogation room with two professionals, who clearly had no problem slapping you around for information, and you were making snarky comments. If you were Shane, you would’ve hit yourself much sooner. The man was patient, you’d give him that.

“Mind telling us how you pulled that off?” Ryan began tapping his pen on that thick manila case file of his. Shane steepled his fingers, staring at you intently. 

You heaved a sigh, wishing you had a joke that could push the seriousness of all of this away. Sure, you’d killed a few people. Did a bit of stabbing, stole some government information and maybe some jelly beans here and there. But that didn’t mean you were a criminal. Sometimes things just happen.

“I mean, you’ve seen movies, right? Some plastic spoons, a bit of time, and I was home free.”

Ryan took another sip of his coffee, and you took note of the way he wrinkled his nose in distaste; it was most likely lukewarm at this point.

“How I got out isn’t important, alright? The point is, I did it. And if you put me back in, just know I’ve got plenty more escape methods I’d like to put to the test.” You puffed your chest out, daring either of them to argue. They didn’t.

“Ok. So, we won’t talk about your prison break then. How about we talk about Vanessa ‘Nessie’ Loch?” Ryan smoothly slid a photo and a few newspaper clippings across the table to you, carefully avoiding touching your hand. You wanted to scoff at him; he knew very well that you were no threat to him by now.

“Ah, yeah. Her.” You found sudden interest in the fake-marble tile. White and black, an interesting choice to go with brick walls.

“Let’s cut to the chase, chop-chop, huh?” Ryan crossed his arms, and Shane gazed expectantly at you.

You found yourself seriously wishing you’d taken Ryan up on his offer for water earlier, your throat was dry and uncomfortable. Come to think of it, the whole room felt dry and uncomfortable.

“If I said I didn’t kill her, would you believe me?”

Their matching cocked eyebrows and unimpressed looks told you the answer was a flat ‘no’.

“Look, ok, I was having a rough day. I go into the store lookin’ for some Pop-Tarts, and this lady’s got the last pack of them! What else was I supposed to do?”

Quite literally anything else, your useless hindsight supplied.

“Alright. Well, looks like that case is solved.” Shane leaned over to scribble something brief on one of Ryan’s notes, then reached into his own folder and retrieved more clippings and pictures.

“How about Eric Daly? Did he buy the last of the pizza rolls?”

You prepared a quick rebuttal, something about how impressive it was that Shane managed to fit his whole humongous head all the way up his ass, when you stopped dead. You didn’t recognize the man in the photos he’d presented. 

“For all I know, he might have. I’ve never seen that guy before in my life.”

Shane growled under his breath.

“Come on now, It’s a little late to be playing dumb. If you can admit to one murder, you can admit to another. You’re already going to prison for life, I doubt your seventh murder will make that much of a difference.”

Ryan’s eyes darted between you and Officer Madej, dark and curious. You held your ground.

“I’m being serious! I’m quite proud of my work, thank you, and I’m a bit insulted you think this was me.” You snatched one of the evidential photos from Shane’s grasp. 

The body was covered in scattered and messy stabs, though they looked more like tears. He was fully clothed and blood-soaked, most likely dropped off at a random spot in a fit of panic on the actual murderer’s behalf.

“Look at this! This is like an amateur's work, but shittier!” You slapped the picture back down on the table, reveling in the way both Shane and Ryan jolted at the smack! that resonated through the room.

“Alright, ok. So what, then? We have a different killer to handle?” Ryan asked, more to himself than you or his partner, though the both of you replied anyway.

“Looks like it, yeah.”

“We can’t take another murderer, we already have to chase this one around constantly!”

You chose to believe that was the shock talking.

“This is a pretty small town. You're the only murderer we've ever had to deal with, and you're easy to catch. It's keeping you contained that's hard. But we don’t know how to actually catch a killer! Especially not when we already have one to deal with!” Ryan babbled.

You watched with interest as the detective tugged at his hair and paced the room, looking frazzled. 

Officer Madej remained still, though you could sense his unease. His posture was unusually stiff, and his fingers were idly tapping against his leg. The tall man's brown eyes shifted around the room, following his partner's erratic pacing.

You cleared your throat after a moment, allowing both men a second to turn to you, before making a proposal.

“What you boys need, is someone who thinks like a killer, no? Someone with, say, experience?” 

Ryan squinted at you, the corner of his mouth turning down.

“What are you playing at?”

“What do you think?”

Oh, how you wished you weren't restrained to this ridiculous desk. You could have so much more fun with this if you could move around just a bit more. It's hard to feel suave and persuasive when you're stuck looking up at your captors from a cheap plastic chair. You pictured yourself grabbing Detective Bergara's ridiculous tie and holding him by it; seeing the easy-to-earn terror in his eyes as you 'convince’ him to let you go free (read: blackmail and threaten him). You channelled the image of yourself trapping these boys in their own interrogation room, played it out in your head. With a deep breath, you mulled over your next words.

“Look, you've got a first-time murderer on your hands. I can tell just by the one picture you showed me. But I'll bet whoever your killer is got a rush from it. I bet it won't be long until it happens again. You need someone who thinks like a killer. Who is a killer. And you don't have too many options. What do you say yours truly gives you a hand? In exchange, oops! I somehow get ahold of the key to these here cuffs.” You shook your wrist a bit, allowing the quiet metallic jingling to accentuate your offer.

Madej opened his mouth, his expression clearly showcasing his plan to condemn your idea. Luckily, Ryan spoke first.

“What, so you expect us to trust you? Just haul you along with us when we investigate? Let you sniff out the murderer like some sort of bloodhound?” Ryan’s tone was incredulous. He threw his arms up in a gesture of frustration and exaggerated sarcasm. “We have actual search dogs for that! You just want us to let you loose. I’m not stupid!”

This time around, Shane was the one looking concerned, while Ryan freaked out. You wondered briefly if he’d hit you too. You weren’t sure you could survive a blow from an arm like his.

“I’m not saying I want to put my nose to the ground and track the killer’s fuckin’ blood scent, Jesus! I’m saying that if anyone would know a murderer's way of thinking, it would be me. Contrary to popular belief, my first kill was an accident. It seems like the same goes for this person. If you guys want to catch them, my help and experience couldn't hurt.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, his expression hardening further.

“Except for the fact that it could hurt, because you're a killer, and walking you around town like a pet on a leash is gonna wind up with either you escaping, or you killing us, then escaping.” 

You tried not to recoil at the severe glint in the man's eyes. Yeah, alright, I deserved that.

You looked up at the detective, attempting to appear more remorseful and less like a kicked puppy.

“You really think I’d kill you guys? Pssh, come on!” you did a good job of concealing the offense you’d taken at his words. “If I wanted to kill you two, I would’ve by now. I was just having fun, none of us have gotten hurt.”

“Yet.” Shane pointed the nib of his pen at you, his tone even.

“Alright, fair. But do you guys really- I mean, you actually think I would hurt you guys?” 

“You’re the most notorious killer in the country right now, I’d say some caution here is fair.”

You rested your elbow against the table, and your face against your hand, and looked up at Ryan. You’d always been careful to avoid harming or threatening the boys; you enjoyed toying with them, sure, but they’d done nothing to deserve harm. It was a bit hurtful that they didn’t trust you even a little.

But, they weren’t lying about the whole ‘most notorious killer in the country’ thing. 

“I only kill people who deserve it. You guys are like my friends, in a weird, not-really sort of way. I swear, I don’t want to kill or hurt you. I’m not gonna comment on the escaping part, though.” You winked.

You paused for a moment to examine the boys. You quickly noticed they’d loosened up since they had first entered the interrogation room, something you allowed yourself to take a brief moment of pride in. Most killers only managed to stress their interrogators out more; they played with their minds, drove them nuts. You had put them at ease.

“I doubt your ‘help’ would be worth the risk of losing this town’s most dangerous citizen.” You could just tell that Ryan was beginning to sway. His voice held less conviction than it had before, and his eyes seemed a bit unfocused. He wasn’t sure. You moved in for the metaphorical kill.

“Well, firstly, I’m flattered you think of me as the most dangerous citizen, but I really think that award should go to old man Harlot. Have you seen that man drive? He’s probably killed 80% of our local wildlife.” You flashed both men your signature smirk, wanting to jump for joy when you heard Ryan’s muffled chuckle. He feigned wiping his nose to cover his smile. “Second, I can guarantee you’ll have your killer behind bars sooner than you ever could without me. And, whether you accept my help or not, you both know I’m gonna slip out of your grasp one way or another anyway. Might as well get something out of it, yeah?”

You cocked an eyebrow, another rush of pride jolting through you when Ryan playfully rolled his eyes. Yes! Damn, I’m good!

Shane looked significantly less impressed with your guile, his arms folded in his lap and his sharp eyes glued to you.

“Come on, Ryan, they’re playing us. We can do this just fine ourselves. Getting assistance from a criminal is the lowest we could possibly stoop.”

Ryan looked momentarily scolded. You moved in before he could change his mind.

“Oh, don’t be so grouchy, Madej! Just because you know I’d do your job better than you is no reason to be bitter. Just let me get rid of this amateur for you, and I’ll be out of your hair. I can’t have anyone taking my place as most notorious and feared killer, after all. It’s my pleasure to get rid of the competition!” You leaned a bit in the tall man’s direction, supporting your head in your hands and resting your elbows on the table.

Doubt encased the officer’s face,  but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he directed his focus onto Ryan; it was his decision, he was in charge.

“I mean…” the detective began hesitantly. You attempted to appear innocent, giving your best puppy dog eyes. Across from you, Shane was tense. He shot a brief glare at you, before turning back to Ryan, his expression soft but disapproving.

“Alright. You’ve got yourself a deal, but the first time we catch you trying to pull something, it’s back to eating Insta-Potatoes in prison, understand?” he jabbed you on the nose with his pointer finger, his stubbly jaw set in a scowl.

You jumped up from your chair, throwing your non-cuffed arm in the air and whooping.

“Yes! Yeah! You won’t regret this, I swear! I’ll be the fastest killer-catcher in the west! Yee-haw, boys!”

You could tell the last two lines caught them off guard. Ryan and Shane gave each other a look, before Ryan broke out in giggles, Shane following a few seconds after, albeit much more subdued. 

“Ok, ok. But we need to get on this case. Now. The longer we wait, the less fresh the evidence is. Keeping you in the prison is inconvenient as hell, so our first order of business should be finding somewhere to store you. Shane?” 

The two men excused themselves to converse, on the other side of the two way mirror mind you. You were, yet again, left to your own devices. You fiddled with your chain casually for a moment or so, then moved in to trying to chip your initials into the table. It didn’t work, and you were pretty much out of things to.

You mentally replayed the events of the past hour or so. Half hour? You didn’t know. A clock would be convenient in here. How long it had been shouldn’t matter, however. You had confirmation you weren’t going back to jail, and the death penalty was illegal here. You’d be fine, and back home eating Pop-Tarts before you knew it. You allowed yourself to relax.

-~-~-~

After another 15 minutes had passed, you moved on to trying to scoot the table closer to the water cooler. Your throat was beginning to sting with how dry it was, and you had nothing better to do. Just as you were within reach, however, the door opened, and in waltzed your two favorite technical enemies.

“Alright. We’re gonna uncuff you for just a second. If you try to run, Ryan will tase you.” Shane warned. Ryan held up his Police issued taser and stepped closer, holding it steady, though you had enough experience to know it was real without the up-close look.]

“I already told you guys, I’m gonna help. No running here.” You held up a placating hand and smiled reassuringly. Shane got to work, kneeling to push the key into the keyhole. With a clink and a small hand movement on Shane’s part, the cuffs dropped.

You took your few seconds of freedom to flex your wrists and look at the red rings that the cuffs left with distaste, before Shane snapped them back on.

“Get some water, and we’re leaving, ok?”

You nodded, thankful your hands were cuffed in the front rather than behind your back, and filled a paper cup with water. It was lukewarm and tasted vaguely like chlorine. Your throat seemed to think it was perfect, however, because you felt 10 times better almost instantly.

“Ok, let’s go then.” You allowed Ryan to lead you out of the building, taking note of how empty it was. It was most likely later than you thought, and you wondered when the adrenaline would wear off and you’d finally pass out.

Shane helped you clamber (rather awkwardly) into what you assumed was Ryan’s car. His civilian one, not a police issued vehicle. It was nice. It smelled a bit like Chipotle, but nice, nonetheless.

“Should I be concerned that you’re loading me into this car, not telling me where we’re going, with no other witnesses besides you two, who are trusted officers of the law? Is the murderer about to become the murderee?”

You heard Ryan wheeze, an amused mumble of ‘murderee’ accompanying giggles under his breath. Shane merely scoffed at your comment, and assisted in buckling your seatbelt.

The rest of the drive was quiet, though not necessarily uncomfortable. The adrenaline was starting to wear off, and you could feel yourself begin to slump in your seat. You woke with a start when Ryan took a swift and steep turn, your head clunking against the car window painfully.

“Huh? What?” you frantically looked around, taking a moment to register your surroundings. Right. Ryan’s car.

“Easy does it. We’re almost there.” Ryan’s voice was hushed, and Shane was snoring softly in the passenger seat.

You remained awake for the last few minutes of the ride. The neon sign of a motel caught your eye, and as you turned to read it, Ryan flicked his blinker on. Into the nearly empty parking lot of the motel you went.

“This is it, huh? Any reason you chose this particular place?” you asked, your handcuffs jingling indistinctly as you rested your hands on the buckle of your seatbelt.

“It’s cheap and unsuspecting. Randomly selected.” He said simply. An acceptable answer.

Click. After a brief struggle, you had the belt off. You waited for Ryan to wake Shane up before opening the car door.

“Hey, big guy. Hope you’re ok with sleeping in a $50 room with a the killer and I for a few days.” The detective gestured theatrically at the ratty building, grinning when Shane merely shoved him away by his shoulder and groaned.

Ryan helped you out of the car, and the three of you entered the foyer of the motel. Ryan, in all of his exhausted, messy glory, booked one room for all three of you, and dropped the key back on the desk twice while trying to pick it up.

You made eye contact with the desk attendant, who was desperately trying not to stare at the cuffs on your hands. Poor girl, this was probably a lot to process.

As you began the walk to your shared room, she called after you, telling you to remember to be courteous of the other guests, and you chuckled, wondering just what she’d made of the situation. Nothing good, your mind settled on.

You passed out instantly upon arrival to the room. The mattress felt like hell, and you knew your back would ache in the morning, but you were tired enough that it didn’t matter. Shane flopped uncaringly beside you, while Ryan began organizing spare sheets and blankets into a makeshift bed on the floor.

“Ryan, when I develop back problems from these awful sleeping arrangements, you’re buying a Tempur-Pedic for me.” Shane groaned, his face burrowed into a worn pillow. Ryan merely scoffed from across the small room, shucking his suit jacket off onto the floor and stretching his shoulders with a yawn.

You could feel your mind go blank, the two boys’ muffled words echoing around, sounding as if you were underwater.

-~-~-~

You woke much later than your new roommates, feeling groggy and detached. The room smelled like lukewarm breakfast, free and courtesy of the motel, most likely. 

Despite the fact that the scrambled eggs would most likely be rubbery, and the bacon lukewarm and wet with grease, your stomach growled. You lifted your head, bleary eyes examining the room in search of food. Next to the puny tv, on a scratched and beat up dresser were two paper plates, one with bacon, eggs, and soggy toast. The other was piled with small breakfast donuts, powdered and glazed, and you took a moment to thank whatever gods may or may not have placed the pastries in this blessed motel room.

You haphazardly tossed your legs out from under the covers and took several faltering steps towards the dresser, immediately going for the donuts. While shoveling the sweets into your mouth, you took a moment to appreciate the lack of metal cuffs jingling and chaffing around your wrists. 

Speaking of which: where were your ‘captors’?

You looked around, quickly noting that the bed Shane had taken up 80% of last night was now empty. Though, you were pleased to note that Ryan was still curled up in his nest of blankets, fast asleep. He looked peaceful, and you were glad. He deserved to rest, he’d been working so hard.

Working so hard to catch your dumb ass, your inner voice reminded, and you felt a mix of pride and guilt swell in your chest. You’d done good work for yourself maybe, but you’d almost ruined poor Ryan. Look at him, he’s got anxiety!

You returned to the bed, satisfied with your weak attempt at breakfast. Whatever, you didn’t have to run from the cops today, you were working with them. You could afford to treat yourself a tad.

You re-settled yourself amongst the blankets, sighing contentedly, and prepared to go back to sleep, when the motel room door creaked open; a grating noise that practically sent chills up your spine. You didn’t bother to open your eyes.

“Goodmorning, Shane.” You greeted.

“Good afternoon, more like. You and Ryan have been sleeping all day. Time to get up, we have work to do.” Shane set an armful of paper bags down near the door with a soft rustling, and closed it behind him. He easily stepped over Ryan’s sleeping form and stood before you, towering above you and radiating disapproval. You rolled over.

“Look, I’ve had a stressful past few days.” You began, relishing in the tired sigh the tall man used to mask his mirth, “And I’d really appreciate it if you could just let me get a few more hours of rest before making me do your job. Thanks.”

Things were silent for a moment, which you took to mean success. You nuzzled your head further into your shitty pillow joyfully, and took a satisfied inhale of air, stale as it may be.

Then, with one swift movement, Shane yanked your blanket off of you and across the room. You gasped indignantly, sitting up and pointing an accusing finger at the scoundrel.

“I told you, it’s time to get up. Oh, and thanks for eating all of the powdered donuts. Clearly murder isn’t your worst crime to humanity, you absolute glutton.” He joked, snatching the pillow Ryan was clutching like a teddy bear and chucking it at you. You allowed it to hit you in the head, falling back dramatically and faking a weak cough.

“Tell… Ryan… I love him…” you wheezed through harsh breaths.

“Rest in piss.” Shane deadpanned.

From the floor, the detective himself groaned, his eyes fluttering open and the dark circles beneath them somewhat lessened.

“It’s like fuckin’ six in the morning, would you knock it off?” He groaned.

Both you and Shane directed your gazes to the small alarm clock on the bedside table. It read 1:03 PM.

“Hate to break it to you, but it’s 1 o’clock, and we’ve got things to do. Get up, get dressed, get fed, and let’s catch us a killer so we can let another one go.” Shane gave you a firm pat on the shoulder, and brushed past you to the bathroom.

Ryan was up like a shot, on his feet and running his hands through his hair, as if that would make it look any less like a blob of melted dark chocolate. Not like you could judge though, you were certain you looked even messier than them. A good night’s sleep in a shitty bed will do that to you.

“Shane, I believe I heard you say something about a Tempur-Pedic at Ryan’s expense last night?” You called, stretching your arms above your head with a groan.

He didn’t respond, and you took the sound of the sink running to mean he was either brushing his teeth, or taking a weak excuse for a shower. You hoped to anything and everything holy that it was the first option.

“Alright, I’m gonna shower real quick, and we’re leaving.” Ryan said to no one in particular, and thank heavens he did, because you hated that plan and were happy to say so.

“What about me? I have a reputation to keep up! I’m not going around town all sweaty and ruffled.” 

“All you have to do to keep up your reputation is murder people, no one cares if you smell like sweat and day old clothes when you do.”

You hated it when he was right.

“Alright then. Let’s hit the town, boys. I’ll put on my killer-wrangling boots, and we can stop for Dairy Queen, my treat.” You stood from the bed, swinging your arms by your sides loosely, and flashing Ryan’s credit card to him with a wink.

His eyes widened, hands immediately patting his pockets. He stared at you, disbelief coloring his cheeks a rusty pink.

“I’ll wait in the car!” you teased, jingling the detectives keys in your other hand and making a break for the door.

“Hey!” Ryan called after you, but didn’t bother to give chase. Shane did that for him.

In the end, he ended up simply waiting in the car with you, though he insisted on holding onto the keys for you. Ryan was quick to finish his shower, stumbling out of the side door to the room and shooing Shane out of the driver’s seat.

“So boys, where we heading?” you asked, stretching yourself out comfortably in the backseat.

“Oh, you’ll see.”

#Buzzfeed unsolved #bfu #bfu fanfic #bfu reader insert #reader insert #shane x reader #shane madej x reader #ryan x reader #ryan bergara x reader #bfu x reader

[wrong-path-mate]

The Coffee Machine (Stefan Butler x Reader)

Request by @commodorecolin : stefan/reader idea - stefan meets reader at tuckersoft. they are having trouble with something, and stefan wants to help but he's a little shy and awkward when trying to ask. cute fluff ig lol.

I didn't completely follow the request, hope it still turned out well and you enjoy it!

Words: 1.716

Warnings: none

It was your first time working for and with Tuckersoft, so naturally, you wanted to impress everyone, showing that you had earned your spot there. However, having Colin Ritman and Stefan Butler working in the same room as you made things a little more difficult than they needed to be. These two were icons in the video game scene, Stefan’s debut game ‘Bandersnatch’ had earned excellent reviews, and Colin was just a household name when talking about game developers. Even though you knew better than to do so, you still constantly compared yourself to them. Though, you tried your best to learn as much as you possibly could from them, seeing them rather as mentors than competition.

Once, Colin had even offered to show you some tips and tricks but because you were so nervous you declined his offer and quickly left, leaving Colin dumbfounded. Stefan on the other hand, mostly kept to himself. You figured he simply was a rather shy person, just like yourself, which already made you like him a little. The two of you exchanged glances from time to time, sometimes you even got a slight smile in return before he quickly looked away, cheeks tinted a pretty rosy shade.

You had stayed up a little too long last night, therefore you were really tired today. Additionally, your coffee machine at home had broken about a week ago and you always forgot to get a new one, cursing yourself a new every morning. So you could not wait to get to work to finally get a cup of coffee to hopefully wake you up a little more.

Upon entering the office, you noticed that it seemed a little busier than usual. You settled down on your desk and took a look around the room. Colin was not at his desk yet, but Stefan was already hunched over his desk, engrossed in his new project and completely oblivious to his surroundings.

You dragged yourself into the small cafeteria, which was really just a secluded room with a coffee machine and a few vending machines.

As you made your way over there, you quickly found the reason for the busier than usual office; the company apparently had gotten a new coffee machine, and this one seemed to be more than high-tech. About five people were setting this thing up, even more people watched them do so. Luckily, you thought, you came just when they seemed to have finished setting it up. You just could not wait for your much needed cup of coffee. However, the machine did not seem to work as intended. A few people wanted to get some coffee but all they got was a weirdly looking liquid substance which, understandably, no one wanted to try it.

After watching your clueless co-workers trying to figure this machine our for another while, some had already left out of frustration, and before you were about to fall asleep again, you decided to give it a shot yourself. Taking the manual, which lay discarded in a corner, you studied it, thinking that it could not be so hard to get this thing to work. But oh boy, were you wrong.

God knows how long you stood in front of that machine, but your craving for coffee was so big that you did not want to give up. Though, unsurprisingly, working on the coffee machine woke you up more or less so.

A huge sigh left your body when your latest idea did not seem to work out. You had tried anything you could think of. You were sure you knew the manual by heart now, but to no avail. The liquid which left the machine was still nowhere close to even resembling coffee. You thought about giving up, but just then, Colin entered the room.

‘Thing’s still not working?’ He asked with a mug in his hand. You shook your head. ‘I think it’s properly broken, we should tell Tucker to get a refund or something.’

‘Have yo-’ Colin started but you quickly cut him off. ‘I think I’ve tried everything, yes.’ From the corner of your eye you could see the watch on the wall. You had spent almost two hours in here, without having achieved anything really.

Colin rolled up his sleeves and inspected the machine closely. You decided to stay. If he would really figure it out, you definitely wanted to be there when that happened.

‘How’s your game going?’ Colin suddenly asked, still busy with the machine. He caught you off guard but you quickly caught yourself. ‘P-pretty good, I guess. I think I’ll have it finished by the end of the week.’ He nodded. ‘Can I take a look at it later? If we ever get to leave this room, that is.’ You were unsure about whether you wanted him to see the unfinished product or not, but you could not really decline his offer again without any good reasoning. So you gave in and accepted. Maybe he could help you with a few things and speed up the process even more.

The two of you spent quite some time in there, but it did not seem like Colin was making any progress either.

Stefan was sitting at his desk, working on his latest project but he seemed to stumble over the same error again and again. Maybe Colin could help, he thought.

Stefan noticed that neither Colin nor you were at your desks. That was weird, he thought, because he had already seen both of you in the office today. He decided to look around the office.

Stefan had never really talked to you, but he felt that he could easily connect with you nonetheless, which made him feel rather attracted towards you. However, Stefan knew that he was way too shy, so he did not even attempt to talk to you much. Maybe he would feel less shy if Colin were around as well?

‘They’re in there, trying to get the coffee machine to work.’ One of his co-workers told him and pointed towards the cafeteria room.

Suddenly, the door was opened. Stefan walked in and scanned the room, his eyes lingered on you for a few seconds before he recognized Colin. ‘Colin! I’ve been looking for you...’ The scene must have looked rather interesting, Colin almost sitting inside the machine, and you crouching beside him with the manual.

Colin sighed and after some struggle got out of the coffee machine and up to stand beside you. ‘I think it’s time to give up. What do you say y/n?’ You only nodded. Stefan’s presence made you feel rather shy. Now that you were thinking about it, you realized that you had never had a proper conversation with Stefan before.

Up close, you took notice of the little moles and freckles which decorated his face, and with his tousled and curly dark hair he looked really cute. While you were admiring him, Stefan actually looked at you and as soon as you caught his gaze, you turned attention away, acting as if nothing had happened, but your blushed cheeks gave your act away.

Stefan scratched the back of his head awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. ‘Do you want to try your luck?’ Colin suggested, gesturing towards the machine in the corner. Stefan slowly nodded. ‘I think we have a similar machine at home. Um, y/n, could you pass me the manual, p-please?’ He requested without meeting your gaze, which you did not even notice because you were avoiding his as well. You held out the small booklet for him and as he took it, your fingers brushed against each other’s, sending a tingly sensation through your body and you were sure your cheeks were now tinted in a very dark red shade.

Colin watched the scene unfold and had to stop himself from giggling. The two of you were simply too adorable. ‘Please end our suffering.’ Colin joked when Stefan started pushing buttons and opening compartments. ‘Ssh, let him work.’ You told Colin went to stand beside him.

You two watched Stefan fumble with the machine for a while like that, which turned out to be a great opportunity for you to admire him. Stefan was not buff or anything but how focused he was and the way his hands worked on the coffee machine impressed you. Colin caught you staring however, and slightly punched his elbow into your side. The action brought you back to reality and you quickly turned your head to look at the man standing beside you. ‘Don’t stare so much, or else your eyes might fall out.’ He whispered and winked at you, which only made your face heat up even more.

Moments later, Stefan handed you, with rather shaky hands, a cup of hot and delicious coffee. ‘H-how did you manage to fix it?’ You asked dumbfounded, but you were really impressed. ‘Well, I said that we have a similar machine at home and my dad’s not really good with technology, so I have to take care of it...’ Stefan explained and a proud smirk was pulling at the corners of his lips. ‘Thank you, man. We were about to go crazy...’ Colin said and pat Stefan’s shoulder.

‘Wait, didn’t you say your coffee machine at home is broken, y/n?’ Colin suddenly remembered. Your eyes widened, was he suggesting...? ‘Oh, well yes but I’ll just buy a new one.’ You tried to brush it off but Stefan had already realized what Colin was implying. ‘I could take a look at it, i-if you want to, of course?’ Stefan suggested, and Colins lips spread into a smile. Both men were looking at you now and you felt really shy. However, agreeing to get Stefan’s help would mean that you two could get to know each other better, and declining would seem rather like a rejection, wouldn’t it?

‘S-sure, why not. I could save some money that way.’ You tried to play it off but the excitement in your voice was very obvious. Colin nodded, showing that he was proud of you, and Stefan’s cheeks turned red. ‘I’ll just come with you after work today, then?’ You nodded and took a sip of the coffee Stefan had given you to hide your face.

#stefan butler #stefan butler x reader #stefan butler imagine #stefan butler one shot #stefan x reader #bandersnatch #fionn whitehead #fionn whitehead imagine

[lurafita]

It’s not easy to kidnap Spiderman

There are so, S.O., many fanfics that have normal, human, non-enhanced criminals successfully kidnapping Peter Parker. And I may have ranted about how people always noob Peter down too much, but it just baffles me every time.

And you can of course always make the argument that Peter isn’t willing to risk his secret identity, but that doesn’t mean he can’t use a fraction of his abilities to incapacitate his kidnappers and get away.

So, keeping that in mind, I wrote a little crack piece. By the by, Tony hasn’t sold the Tower and I am completely and blissfully ignoring Infinity War. Thanos can chuck himself into a freaking volcano.

Tony was in his workshop, deep in an inner debate with himself about re-enabling the BabyMonitorProtocol. He knew that, in a way, it was an invasion of privacy and might even be interpreted as distrust in Peter’s abilities and resposibilities as a hero. And that was definitely NOT what he wanted to convey. Peter had a unique and diverse skillset. With the right training (it had taken 3 weeks for them to figure out what actually worked for Peter) he had come a long way in properly using and controlling his powers, without having to compromise himself by holding back too much in a fight. Peter knew when a situation required back up and would never risk the safety of civilians by entering a fight that had him hopelessly outmatched. Peter knew that Tony would always, always, come when he called. (They had had a very, v.e.r.y. long discussion about that. ) Tony trusted the kid.

BUT, that didn’t change the fact that what the kid was doing, was dangerous.

Spiderman didn’t just swing around tall buildings (at speeds and altitudes that gave Tony heart palpitations), or rescue little kittens out of trees.

Spiderman caught out of control vehicles in busy traffic. Spiderman leapt into burning buildings. Spiderman got fucking SHOT AT!

Tony had, of course, improved the suit and made it as sturdy and safe as humanly possible. But considering that the material couldn’t be too thick, so as not to impede his sticky appendages, nor too hard, so as not to restrict his super-human flexibility, there were simply limits to what could be done. One of those limits, frustratingly, was that Tony hadn’t yet found a way to make the suit bulletproof.

And yes, Peter had the ability to dodge gunfire (thank god for the spider-sense), but that didn’t automatically make things safer. Superheroes were just as likely (sometimes even more so) to make mistakes as the next person. Sometimes you underestimate your opponent. Sometimes you zig, when you should zag. Sometimes things just go wrong.

Add to that how Peter liked to hide injuries from his aunt as well as his mentor/dad (because Tony had signed the shit out of those adoption/shared custody agreement papers as soon as May Parker had given her blessing), and it was really no wonder that Tony found himself counting new grey hairs on a weekly basis.

He would just feel that much better if the BabyMonitorProtocol was back up and he would be appraised of every little scuffle, altercation and injury as they happened, all the time, 24 fucking 7. No, he was not an overprotective helicopter parent, stop laughing Rhodey!

“Incoming call from Peter Parker.” Friday’s voice cut suddenly through his thoughts.

Tony took a deep, apprehensive breath. Just because the kid called right then didn’t have to mean he was in trouble. This could be a purely social call. Get it together.

“Put him through, Fri. Hey Pete.”

“Hi Mr. Stark!” Good, the kid sounded neither distressed, nor hurt. There was no gunfire, screaming or sounds of explosions in the backround. Just a social call then, thank god.

“Whats up, kid? Someone treat you to a churro again?” He smirked at hearing the put upon sigh from the other end of the line.

“Is anyone ever going to let this go? She was a nice lady and it was a yummy snack. I regret nothing.”

“Of course. So, what’s shaking? You are not calling to bail on me for our lab time later, are you?” He leaned back in his chair, relaxed smile on his lips.

“Oh god, please, no one says ‘what’s shaking’ anymore, Dad.” Peter whined and Tony’s smile grew. They had a weird relationship with names. For Tony it was Kid, Spiderling, Underoos, any variation he could come up with for the name Peter, and (the newest one) Son. While Peter liked to cycle through Mr. Stark, Tony, and more and more regularly, Dad. If Tony’s eyes were a teeny, tiny bit wet the first time Peter called him ‘Dad’, no one had to know.

“Anyway, the reason why I’m calling is,... uhm... well....” UhOh. That was Peter’s ‘I may be in trouble’ voice.

Tony snapped back upright in the chair, as the kid continued.

“...the thing is, I’m currently in the office of the Captain of the New York Police Department, and-”

“WHAT?!” He sprang up off his seat. “Friday! My suit! Now!”

“No, no no no no. Wait! Tony, wait! Calm down. It’s nothing bad”

Yeah, he was NOT reassured. The kid had once stumbled into the tower after patrol, hand pressed against a six inch long stab wound gushing blood, and claimed it was ‘nothing bad’.

“What happened? Why are you in the Captains office? Are you hurt?” The Ironman suit continued to assemble around his body as Friday opened one of the floor to ceilling windows for his take off.

“Not hurt, I promise. It’s just that Captain Stacy thought this call would better be made in privat and the bullpen was kinda loud, though there was this really cool guy who-”

“PETER!” This kid! (”5 minutes until you arrive at the NYPD, Sir.”)

“Right, right, sorry. So, I was just on my way home, minding my own business, and maybe hoping that that cute german shephard would be out in his yard again and I could play with him a little and NOT THE POINT, sorry, so, me just walking along the street, totally innocent, and then suddenly this white panel van parks a few feet in front of me.”

Oh god. That was exactly how crime and horror movies started, wasn’t it? Was now the right time to have a panic attack? (”4 minutes to destination.”)

“And then this man gets out, pretty buff and tall and I was just a little bit jealous, because like, I can benchpress a french frying* [*earlier post on how Peter avoids a ‘language lecture’ by swearing using food names] bus with no sweat and still have total noodle arms, and how is that fair”

“PETER!” This KID! (”3 minutes to destination”)

“Sorry! So, the guy asks me for directions to cityhall, but he doesn’t get it when I explain it to him, so he asks if I would ride with him and show him. And, like, my spidey-sense is this low buzz, like, this guy is probably up to no good, but not a real threat to me, right? And he said he would drive me back later and that he had some candy as a thank you, so-”

“You got into the van?!” Forget the panic attack, his fucking heart was about to stop!

“Did you not hear me mention the part where he promised me candy?”

Which arm was supposed to hurt again when you got a heart attack? This fucking kid! (”2 minutest to destination.”)

“Anyway, I climb into the passenger side and the guy starts the engine and all of a sudden my spidey sense is blaring and I slip down in the seat, before the guy that was hiding in the back can press his knife to my throat.”

Oh god oh god oh god.

“So then I grab the hand and twist it just a little, until he has to let go of the knife, and he screams and the knife falls right beside the hand brake. But then the buff guy driving makes a grab for it, so I punch him in the face, right? But I may have punched just a little bit too hard, cause next thing I know, he is unconcious and his head has fallen on the car horn in the middle of the steering wheel. And now the van is still going, but no one is steering and I still have the other guy’s arm at this angle that must have been incredibly uncomfortable for him, because he just keeps on screaming and the donuts* car horn is really french frying* loud and it’s all giving me a headache. So I pull back and knock the guy behind me out, too, and grab the wheel and yank it to the other side, because we were about to hit a tree. I get the buff guy off the steering wheel, and thank god, finally some quiet, but his foot is still on the gas, so I grab the hand brake and yank it up. And then the tires are squeeling and the engine is stuttering and I might have knicked my hand on the knife that had fallen there earlier, so I’m a little startled and yank the wheel again and then the van crashed into a parking police car.”

There is a moment of silence, Tony can see the NYPD building in the distance. (”30 seconds to destination, boss. May I suggest some mild breathing exercises to slow your heartbeat down some?”)

“But don’t worry! By that time the van had slowed down enough that the damage wasn’t too bad. Though Detective Mahoney spilled his coffee all over his shirt.” Ironman landed in front of the station, drawing quite a few looks all around him. “So I explain everything to the Detective Mahoney and his partner Detective Sanchez, who is like super cool and promised to help me study for my next spanish exam.” The suit dissembled around him and formed into a suitcase in his hand as Tony Stark, clad in a faded band shirt and soft blue pyjama pants (it was supposed to be his day off and he had, for once, slept in), ran up the stairs (as if he would waste time waiting for the elevator) to where he knew the Captains office was (Thanks Friday). “Turns out, these guys have been kidnapping kids like this for the last four weeks and were waiting to get two more to ship off to some kind of slave trade ring in a foreign country. So the Detectives interrogated them and got the location for where they are hiding the poor, missing kids and like half the precinct is on their way to free them.” One more floor and he would be there. At least now the heavy breathing could be attributed to running up so many fucking stairs. “I tried to slip away and get in the suit and follow the police cars, make sure the kids are alright and all, you know? But then the Captain came up to me and clapped me on the shoulder and was like ‘Good job, kid. That was very brave, but now lets call your parents and make sure you get home safe.’ And then he led me into his office and sat me on his couch, which is nowhere near as comfy as the ones in the tower, but whatever, and told me to call someone and that he would come back to talk to us a little later.” It wasn’t every day that Tony Stark bursts through the doors of the Major Crime unit of the New York Police Department in the clothes he slept in, so the officers in the room could be excused for any open mouthed gaping that may have taken place. “And, you know, Aunt May just came off a double shift in the hospital and I really didn’t wanna wake her, so I thought I better call you instead. So, can you come over to the NYPD? But like, don’t stress. If you have something important to do, that’s totally okay. I can just hang around for a few hours until May has gotten enough sleep and call her then. And maybe Detective Sanchez will-”

Peter was interrupted from his call when the door to the Captains office nearly flew off its hinges as Tony ran right in, a desperate, slightly manic look in his eyes. “Oh, that was quick. Hey Dad.”

THIS FUCKING KID!

And yes, fine, it may not be much of an exaggeration when Peter later complained that Tony cuddled him on that couch for the better part of 20 minutes. It may also be true that he threatened to sue everyone and their mother more than once, everytime someone from the police department tried to interrupt his, very justified, fussing over his kid. He also makes damn sure that Peter doesn’t leave his direct proximity for the entire time they stay at the station. Peter gave his official statement, they got to watch when the freed kids were reunited with their overjoyed, tearful parents, who all come over to thank Peter in person for his part in finding their children, and Detective Sanchez gave Peter her card and personal number for those spanish lessons. During all that time, Tony has managed to inform May, Pepper and Happy about everything, and the three soon join them at the station. While May and Pepper take over fussing over Peter and hugging him to death (the kid sends him a very nasty look over the womens shoulders), Tony is already on his phone, programming Karen to reengage the BabyMonitorProtocol and sending the code to one of his Stark watches that he is going to fucking weld around the kids wrist so he can never take it off. He doesn’t even care how much Rhodey laughs at and calls him an overprotective helicopter parent again later. 

#peter parker #tony stark #iron dad #spider son #tony is a stressed dad #attempted kidnapping #peter is a badass #bamf peter #iron man #spiderman #op lurafita

[mysterylover123]

Maiko + Tropes

Back to Avatar the Last Airbender, where it all started. It’s time to do tropes for my ATLA OTP: Zuko/Mai. Prepare for some teenage grouchiness. (Sourced from TVTropes.) Also, Spoilers

1. ADORKABLE

Mai:  Mai is not normally very adorkable, but around Zuko she gets all giggly and blushy. They express their love in very awkward and adorable ways. The B-story in "Nightmares and Daydreams" is a good example.

Zuko: All of his attempts to be a normal and friendly guy end up charming failures. Notably, he practices an apology to a frog, then proceeds to demand an answer.

2. ANTI-VILLAIN

Mai: Though not to the extent of Ty Lee (what with being a Jerk with a Heart of Gold instead of a straight-on Nice Girl), she is still only going up against the good guys because she works under someone who is evil.

Zuko:  An early episode contrasts him with Zhao, who only wants to find the Avatar to bring himself glory while Zuko was only even there is to complete a mission so his father will love him.

3. BETA COUPLE

Mai:  With Zuko. 

Zuko: With Mai. While Aang and Katara dance around the issue, they're snuggling and watching sunsets. Flipped on its head in the comics, where Zuko and Mai go through a bad breakup while Aang and Katara are relatively stable Sickeningly Sweethearts.

4. BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Mai: With Zuko. They're both perpetually frowning Emo Teens with some kind of family issuewho are from the Fire Nation and use bladed weapons.

Zuko: With Mai. They're both perpetually frowning Emo Teens with some kind of family issue who are from the Fire Nation and use bladed weaponsWith Katara. They're both willful, compassionate, and emotional individuals who lost their respective mothers at a young age and are about equal in terms of bending abilities.

5. BROKEN BIRD

Mai: Her mother treated her like a liability instead of a daughter, was not allowed hobbies or even to speak unless spoken to, and her only friends were Ty Lee and Azula. No wonder Mai is so cynical and bitter.

Zuko: A rare male example; any innocence he had was lost between his father's and sister's abuse.

6. BROODING BOY, GENTLE GIRL

Mai: Zig zagged with Zuko — Both manage to be both with each other. For the brooding part, they both come from a dysfunctional family which led to them becoming Broken Birds but in different ways (Zuko having anger issues and Mai suppressing her emotions). As for the gentle part, both encourage one another to express themselves in healthier, non-problematic ways.

Zuko: Zig zagged with Mai — Both manage to be both with each other. For the brooding part, they both come from a dysfunctional family which led to them becoming Broken Birds but in different ways (Zuko having anger issues and Mai suppressing her emotions). As for the gentle part, both encourage one another to express themselves in healthier, non-problematic ways.Katara is the gentle girl to Zuko's brooding boy - they are a platonic variation of this trope, despite the Ship Tease.There's a very brief moment of this with Toph and Zuko - in "The Ember Island Players", Toph comforts Zuko while he's angsting over his Uncle. They go back to being Like Brother and Sister, though, when she punches him and informs him that "That's how I show affection."

7. CHARLES ATLAS SUPERPOWER

Mai: While turning her back on Azula at the Boiling Rock, she managed to consistently pin several guards onto solid metal architecture, using the same knives with which she attacks everything and everyone else. More passively, she's on even footing with the average elite bender, such as Early-Season-2 Katara and half the Terra Team sent to attack The Drill.

Zuko: While one of the most visibly muscular characters, he once punches a person across a room, and is seen shattering iron, steel, and wood with his kicks. All that training has served him well. Might be a result of Iroh's training: even among the Fire Nation, Iroh and Zuko are the only ones to display superhuman strength unrelated to bending.

8. CHILDHOOD FRIEND  ROMANCE

Mai: In a flashback, we see her admiring Zuko from afar as kids.

Zuko: With Mai. There's a flashback to Puppy Love.

9. DEADPAN SNARKER

Mai: Has a very dry sense of humor.

Zuko: Since Zuko's the most ill-tempered character in the show, this is a given. He's actually a lot like Katara in that respect: particularly sarcastic in books one and two, less so for a part of book three, and then more so for the other half.For instance, after some random kids threw an egg at Earth Kingdom soldiers, they blame Zuko, who continually denies it. It eventually leads to this exchange:Gow: The egg had to come from somewhere! Zuko: Maybe a chicken flew over.He also manages to get in a few good ones at Sokka, of all people:Zuko: I think I'm a little past your level, Sokka. Why don't you practice with the Duke or something. Sokka: The Duke? But he's, like, eight years old! Zuko: He should be a good match for you, then.Even eight-year-old Zuko gets in on the action.Azula : You waste all your time playing with knives. You're not even good! Zuko : Put an apple on your head and we'll find out how good I am!

10. DEFROSTING ICE KING/QUEEN

Mai: Much like her boyfriend, except it takes her longer to thaw.

Zuko:  It takes two and a half seasons, but he thaws with The Power of Friendship.

11. DUDE/CHICK MAGNET

Mai: Besides Zuko, another teen flirted with her in "The Beach", and Kei Lo admits to genuinely liking her.

Zuko: Sometimes in a relationship with Mai. He has loads of Ship Tease with Katara and a temporary love interest in the one-off character of Jin. The comics also have him being ship teased with Suki. Has almost as much onscreen romance as Sokka, plus a fan club and a bunch of random girls that swoon over him at the beach.

12. EERIE PALE SKINNED BRUNETTE

Mai: Emphasizing her emo personality.

Zuko: During the first season, where he has chalk-white skin coupled with a black ponytail. It later evens out slightly; sometimes his hair is dark brown instead of straight black, and he adopts a very slight tan that takes the edge off the eerie. That said, cutting off the ponytail and growing his hair out properly probably also helped.

13. HIDDEN DEPTHS

Mai: The gloomy knife thrower is a Cool Big Sis after off-screen Character Development.

Zuko: Badass, Determinator, Evil Prince -turned- The Atoner, is also a Momma's Boy and a lover of Turtleducks. In the "Ember Island Players", he gives hints that he likes theater, but just dislikes that specific group because while they have great special effects, they tend to butcher their stories. He admits to Toph that he's been doing Angst? What Angst? for some time, but the play is opening some hidden wounds.Toph: "Oh come on. Lighten up. They're just having fun." Zuko: "Fun? Of course you (Toph) like it. They made you a big buff guy! But to me... they're taking all the mistakes I made and throwing them right back in my face."His Uncle has indicated numerous times Zuko is also skilled with the fictional Tsungi horn.

14. JERK WITH A HEART OF GOLD

Mai: Generally quite a jerk but she has a soft spot for Zuko.

Zuko: He's Hot-Blooded and can still be quite rude, but Zuko is a good hearted person.

15. KICK THE DOG

Mai: In her first appearance, she turns down a hostage deal for her own infant brother.In the comics she dishes out a lot of emotional abuse against Zuko, although she still claims to care for him. She jokes about his death, his choice of friends after meeting Aang, and talks about how awful he is in general to Kei Lo.

Zuko: Often when he was in danger of becoming too nice, at least until his formal Heel–Face Turn in Book 3.

16. LONELY RICH KID

Mai: She has no friends other Ty-Lee and Azula, and they were off at the circus or war.

Zuko: He is the banished prince of the Fire Nation, but you can literally count the people who genuinely care for him on one hand (Iroh, Mai and Ursa). Eventually subverted when he makes his Heel–Face Turn, after which he becomes part of Aang's True Companions.

17. LOVE REDEEMS

Mai:  She follows Zuko in Heel–Face Turn because of his turn and her love for him.

Zuko: Averted with Mai. He leaves her before switching to the good side and the two don't reconcile their relationship until after the final battle. Instead it was familial love for Iroh, whom he acknowledges as his true father figure and role model, that redeems him. The shame he feels for betraying his uncle's trust is part of what compels him to make his Heel–Face Turn. He also influenced Mai to follow suit and betray Azula.

18. THE MASOCHISM TANGO

Mai: Her relationship with Zuko is not healthy. The two love each other but their conflicting morals and lack of communication leads to countless fights and their constant break-ups. She spends pages in Avatar: The Last Airbender – Smoke and Shadow describing what a horrible boyfriend Zuko is and how badly a relationship with him had hurt her. This leads to her making harsh jokes at his expense and she expresses the need for her to "move on" by dating Kei Lo.

Zuko: Has this type of relationship with Mai. They love each other but constantly fight, do not understand each other, have different morals and are always breaking up only to get back together again. Mai tells Kei Lo about how miserable Zuko makes her feel and she later says it to Zuko's face about how much of an idiot she was to date him.

19. MEANINGFUL NAME

Mai: Mai is the Cantonese pronunciation of 袂 meaning "sleeve of a robe", which is where Mai conceals her weapons.Her name is phonetically similar to the Japanese mei (冥, めい), meaning "dark", which is relatable to her gloomy personality.

Zuko: Zuko's name is written in Chinese characters which read as "ancestor's robber". It may or may not be intentional, but Zuko is an actual name in a Filipino dialect. Its meaning? "Madness" or "Angry." And he spends a lot of time angry in the show...

20. MUGGLE-MAGE ROMANCE

Mai:  In a relationship with Zuko.

Zuko: In a relationship with non-bender Mai.

21. NEW OLD FLAME

Mai: She and Zuko are a textbook "skip all the boring foreplay and get right to the intensity." Contrast with the heroic Official Couple, who were in the foreplay stage for fifty episodes. In this case we see a flashback of them as Childhood Friends before the reunion.

Zuko: Zuko and Mai are a textbook "skip all the boring foreplay and get right to the intensity." Contrast with the heroic Official Couple, who were in the foreplay stage for fifty episodes. In this case, we see a flashback of them as Childhood Friends before the reunion.

22. NOBLE DEMON

Mai: She may be on Azula's side, but she's not evil.

Zuko: Character Development for him in Season 1. He goes from burning down the Kyoshi Warriors' village in his pursuit of Aang to abandoning a later pursuit to keep his soldiers safe. Even right from the start, he threatens the South Pole villagers to get information on the Avatar but when Aang promises to come quietly if he leaves the Water tribe alone, Zuko agrees (and keeps his word).

23. OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Mai: She and Zuko somehow manage to be this and Birds of a Feather. Despite their apparent similarities, their temperaments are completely opposite: Zuko is a Hot-Blooded Determinator, whereas Mai is an emotionless Defrosting Ice Queen.

Zuko:  He and Mai somehow manage to be this and Birds of a Feather. Despite their apparent similarities, their temperaments are completely opposite: Zuko is a Hot-Blooded Determinator, whereas Mai is an emotionless Defrosting Ice Queen.

24. PERPETUAL FROWNER

Mai: Even when she's cuddling with her boyfriend she's frowning.

Zuko: "I'm never happy." Though it is averted around Mai, and after he joins Team Avatar.

25. RED ONI, BLUE ONI

Mai: The blue to Ty Lee's red. Or, since Ty Lee describes Mai's aura as grey, and hers as pink, Mai's the Grey Oni to Ty Lee's Pink Oni.

Zuko: The emotional, easily angered Red Oni to his sister's calculating, eerily calm Blue Oni, though it's reversed after her Villainous Breakdown. This is enforced by the colors of the Flames they produce; Zuko's flames are red/orange, while Azula's are blue.The hot-tempered, loud Red Oni to Aang's positive, peace-loving Blue Oni, which is visualized through their facial markings (red scar vs. blue tattoos)

26. RELATIONSHIP REVOLVING DOOR

Mai: She is in a constant on-off relationship with Zuko. It's unstable to say the least. They get together only to break things off a few months later. They make up but then decide to call it quits again. It is supposed to be a contrast to Aang and Katara's solid relationship.

Zuko:  His relationship with Mai is complicated and...unstable to say the least. They break up at least twice in the series and once again in the comics.

27. SOUR OUTSIDE SAD INSIDE

Mai: Like Zuko, she acts cold as a result of her past.

Zuko: He may act abrasive, but knowing his past, it's not hard to see why.

28. TALL DARK AND SNARKY

Mai: A raven-haired Snark Knight. It's a trait she shares with Zuko.

Zuko: Tallest teenager in the series with raven hair and a cynical attitude.

29. TOOK A LEVEL IN BADASS

Mai: Mai already established herself as a badass (but quiet and knife obsessed) Lady of War took a level in badass in the episode "The Boiling Rock, Part 2". Mai took out 13 prison guards and freed the gondola line to help Zuko and company escape the boiling rock prison...and Princess Azula. Although this could just be a case of Mai being Not So Stoic.

Zuko: He gradually improves throughout the series, but he makes dramatic improvements in season 3. It's then he learns to redirect the most powerful of lightning, holds his own against his sister, casually raise a huge fire tunnel that engulfs an entire hallway, and most importantly, firebends without relying on rage.

30. UNDYING LOYALTY

Mai: To Zuko. Even when their relationship is on the rocks, she remains loyal. Two instances: the Boiling Rock encounter where Zuko explains his treason and desertion and inspires her to defy Azula herself, and again in the "Rebound" free comic day issue where she discovers her father wants to use her as an insider against Zuko in a bid to put Ozai back on the throne.

Zuko: This is Zuko's greatest weakness and greatest strength. Loyalty kept Zuko on the side of his father and sister long after he stopped seeing things their way, but when he finally made up his mind to join Aang, he took a lot of punishment from them without complaint to win their trust, and he protected them over and over. In the sequel, Zuko abdicated the throne, naming his daughter Fire Lord, so that he could travel the world after Aang's death, to keep their dream alive while the Avatar could not.

31. WHEN HE/SHE SMILES

Mai: Just like her boyfriend, she frowns so often that she looks really cute when she smiles genuinely.

Zuko:  The poor guy is frowning so often (and for good reason), the few times he gives a genuine smile are really heartwarming.

32. WELL, EXCUSE ME PRINCESS

Mai: To Zuko. She doesn't put up with his angsting.

Zuko: Something of a male version of this trope in regards to Mai. She doesn't put up with his brooding and temperamental nature, instead encouraging him to lighten up.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #mai x zuko #zuko #maiko #atla maiko #mai #TV Tropes #parallels #atla shipping #atla #tropes #shipping

[howtohero]

#040 List of Handy Excuses (B)

It’s time for the next installment of our very popular (for a loose definition of “very popular”) list of handy excuses for when you wanna use your job as an excuse to get out of stuff to go fight crime.

A C D E

Babysitter

[No, you have to stay with the children. You wanna be a real hero? Keep an eye on these kids so their parents can have a well-deserved date night.]

Baker

• Great heroes aren’t born… They’re bread(makers).

Baggage Claim Attendant

I found this superhero costume in an abandoned piece of luggage at my work, I figured I might as well try it on and try fighting some bad guys. I mean why not right?

Bailiff

So I’ve been thinking, that judge guy is always having me bring in the evidence for all those court cases, so wouldn’t it be smart if I just went and grabbed pieces of evidence directly from crime scenes? Of course it’s smart. Uch I knew you’d be like this. Gosh it’s called being proactive Karen.

I’m also always showing belligerent witnesses or other such people out of court so wouldn’t it be neat if I showed a belligerent superpowered eco-terrorist out of our city? Of course it’d be neat! Uch why are you always like this. It’s called expanding my market Karen.

Banjo Player

The banjo that Kermit the Frog played in the opening scene of the Muppet Movie is at the Smithsonian. I need to go see it right now.

There’s a Mumford and Sons concert.

Bank Teller

No! No way. Is that a supervillain! I swear to god I cannot deal with this right now. These a-holes come into my bank like eight times a week and stick a gun or -and I kid you not- a four-foot-long flower that squirts acid in my face and hold me hostage and I am just sick of it. I’m out of here. (And then the irony is that really you are going to go put on some spandex and fight that supervillain).

Banker

I have to run out to go, uh, foreclose a house. (The irony is that really you’re going to go put on spandex and stop a house from burning down yay!)

Ball Boy

I am going to throw this baseball at Cthulhu.

Ballerina

Hey check this out! (then do some sick ballerina twirls right out the door).

Barber

I got a haircut the other day and my barber (shout out to Louie!) told me he was going to Italy for two weeks because he’s nearly 80 and he doesn’t know how many times he’s going to get to go to Italy and I thought he had an excellent point. So barbers, no matter what age you are, just tell people this. And then actually go to Italy.

Barker

You can actually use your loud shouting abilities to direct non-powered (read: lame) citizens away from the superhero fight. That’s probably where you can do the most good.

Bartender

Sometimes a supervillain just needs to talk to someone about their problems while that someone wipes the same spot of the counter with an old rag over and over again.

Baseball Player

I have an away game so I might be away for fifteen weeks.

I have a home game so I might be gone for thirty hours.

Basketball Player

Ok so I was playing golf and I made this admittedly kind of lousy shot but then the ball just started rolling and it landed right into the hole, crazy right? Yeah, so I go to get the ball and all of a sudden I get sucked into this cartoon world and these cartoon characters want me to play basketball against some cartoon alien monsters. So if I disappear for a bit that’s probably where I am.

Whoa, do you see that giant robot? How sick would it be if I jumped over that in the next dunk contest? I’m gonna go down there and see if I can’t get my hands on that thing.

Bass Guitarist

Ha! More like super bass (guitarist)!

Bed and Breakfast Proprietors

Literally all you have to do is just wait til after breakfast and before bedtime. Then you can go out and do whatever you want. Lunchtime is your prime crime fighting time.

Beekeeper

I’m sorry I will not be able to make dinner tonight for I have been carried off by a swarm of malignant bees.

I have to go put on my beekeeper suit, it may take a while.

Bellhop

Oh my god you would not believe this guest that’s staying at the hotel. He keeps finding problems with each room we put him in and demanding that we give him a new room and you know who has to carry his 22 incredibly heavy bags to each new room? Me! So if I leave abruptly, that’s where I am.

Bibliographer

Wait a minute, not everything in this non-fiction book is properly sourced and catalogued! I must get to the library posthaste to conduct the research necessary to determine where all of these facts, figures, opinions and otherwise borrowed pieces of writing originates from!

Bigfoot Hunter

Bigfoot’s doing another book reading at Barnes and Noble. It was in all the papers. Honestly, dude’s taking all the fun out of trying to track him down.

Biologist

Fun fact: I am the mitochondria, which is to the say, the “powerhouse” of this city. Therefore I am the only person capable of defeating this supervillain and his… acrobatic… elf army? What?

I have to go… photosynthesize something.

Biographer

Fun supervillain fact: Many supervillains turn to a life of crime and villainy because they feel that they have not gotten the respect that they were due in their pre-supervillain jobs. So maybe if I go down there and offer to write an actual book about them they’ll stop throwing pig carcasses at pedestrians.

Birdwatcher

Oh my god! There’s a light footed clapper rail near that superhero fight! I must get closer and snap some pictures for my rare birds Facebook and Instagram pages. Yes, I know it may be risky. But some things are just worth dying for. The light footed clapper rail is one of them.

Blacksmith

Finally! I’ve been clang clang clanging away on this new super cool armor in my workshop for weeks. I’m gonna put it on and fight that dragon that’s sitting in the park and freaking everybody out.

Boatswain

Some of the important boating equipment which I am responsible for (y’know stuff like life preservers, marine themed shaped snacks, the crew, boat engines?? porthole drapes?) is dangerously close to that rampaging truck monster. I’d better get down there and perform my sworn sacred boatswain duties.

Body Builder

Hey did you hear that I work out now? Yeah just figured I’d let you know in case you’re looking for me while I’m working out. If you can’t find me it’s probably because I’m working out. Crossfit leg day do you even lift crossfit.

Bodyguard

Ok if you’re a bodyguard and you want to go to your side job as a superhero here’s what you’ve gotta do. Wait until your client goes to the bathroom. Then jam the door, look him in there. Then go fight the crime. Then get back and free your client who will have been kept safe by the bathroom until you return.

Bongo Player

I’m gonna go find a bridge to play the bongos under.

Bookkeeper

I’m going to go down and take bets on that superhero fight I’m giving twenty to one odds on that giant mutant bullfrog eating Ultiman.

Botanist

You don’t need to make any excuses, probably your only friends are plants and plants are known to be very supportive of the activities of costumed heroes and vigilantes.

Bowler

(Look down at your shoes) My heavens! These are not my shoes! I must go find the true owners! (A Cinderella story for the modern age.)

Bouncer

I have to get to my post! My bar has a very strict no supervillains allowed rule and if that evil cyborg gets even close to The Drunk Hut it is my solemn responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get inside.

I’m a pretty buff man. I prevent children from sneaking in to the bar. I think it’s time that I step it up a level and bounce that supervillain right out of town.

Bouncy House Operator

Just deflate the thing and go fight crime.

Boxer

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, that villain may be winnin, but he’s not yet met me.

Boy Band Member

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Boy Scout Troop Leader

Ok whoever doesn’t tell their parents that I left early to punch a man made out of fire gets their “Kept a Superhero’s Secret Identity Badge,” their “Didn’t Snitch on Troop Leader Barry Badge” and their “Didn’t Descend into a Lord of the Flies Type Child Murder Chaos Scenario When Left Alone” badge.

Breakdancer

I’m going to challenge that eleven ton troll man from Mars to a dance-off, loser gets banished from Earth, winner gets ice cream (and gets to stay on Earth!)

Breeder

Wait a minute, does that supervillain have a horse that is on fire and also a ghost? Could you imagine what would happen if I acquired that horse and mated it with one of my top racing horses. It would be incredible. I’d be foolish not to get down to that superhero battle right away.

Bubble Blower (such as the kind that perform delightful and mystifying bubble shows)

I am going to delight and mystify this villain right in the face.

The villain is trying to make off with the entire town’s supply of soapy water. I must stop him. Even if I am not a superhero. Which I of course am not. (But say it in a way that sounds less suspicious.)

Buccaneer

I’m what you might call very expensive corn (wait for everyone to groan at your terrible pun) I’ll just see myself out.

Builder

Somebody somewhere just asked “can we fix it!” and I need to go shout “yes we can!” in their face. I know that that sounds like the kind of thing a fixer should be doing but we’ve pretty much taken over the “can we fix it/yes we can” industry thanks to public television.

Bureau of UFO Tracking, Transporting and Studying Agent

I have to go flush out some aliens, I don’t want any of them slipping through the cracks.

Bus Boy

All right everybody we’re going to try something new tonight! Everyone will just bus their own tables this shift! Then you’ll gain a greater appreciation for the working class! (You only need to do this once because you’ll almost definitely be fired for this.)

Bus Driver

If I stopped driving my route every time aliens took over midtown I’d never be able to my job.

Butlers

No no no no, butlers aren’t superheroes. It’s their rich masters who are superheroes. I mean sure butlers are the clear brains behind the entire operation and without them the Billionaire with Issues™ genre of superhero wouldn’t exist but I can’t think of a single butler superhero (as opposed to the dozens of bubble blower and bibliographer superheroes there are out there).

Tune in next time when we tackle all of the “c” occupations. As always if you know of a job that isn’t represented here ((speaking of representation, I’m pretty sure there isn’t any difference between a barrister and a lawyer so you’ll have to wait like a year til we get to L.) By all means, contact us. Or just use a generic excuse like “I need to get down to that superhero fight to see if I can help people in any way that I can because I am a good person” or “I am going out to get orange juice.”

#comedy #superhero #superheros #how to #lists #excuses #b #babysitters #date night #baker #bread puns #baggage claim #bailiff #courts #Karen #banjo #kermit the frog #mumphord and sons #banks #Cthulhu #baseball #basketball #bowling #bongos #bass guitar #super bass #bus drivers #butlers #pig carcasses #superpowered eco-terrorists

[eternlmisery]

Doomed Destinies

Read also on ao3           (also spoilers from 2x16)

On the way to the Mayor’s office and in the comfortable silence of her car- well her other self’s car, Sara found herself recalling bits of her memory about the time she had spent trapped in this “Doomword”.

She vaguely remembered being hired by Darhk alongside Amaya and she remembered the killing; blood running like a river, smeared in her hands and face and she would just smile. She would oblige to Darhk’s every demand without a second thought and she would kill; not thinking about it for even a second afterwards. The nights she slept like a feather; no remorse or guilt plaguing her thoughts.

 And as she took a left turn on SCPD she suddenly remembered.

 She had seen Snart a few times in the Mayor’s office; talking with Darhk and stopping once she arrived. He had looked at her intently; his burning gaze making a shiver go down her spine before she focused on her upcoming job. They had brief encounters after their first meeting but what Sara remembered in particular was the exact moment everything changed for her evil-self. She had been summoned to Darhk’s office alone one morning and that’s when she saw him looking at her with that same intense look; leaning against Darhk’s mahogany office, though now he was the only other person in the room other than her.

“Hello, Mrs. Lance.” He drawled and offered his hand for her to shake. Sara smirked and shook his hand before taking a step back. “Mr. Mayor told me that you could be of some assistance in an issue I’ve been dealing with. I need you to kill someone for me, but… I don’t believe that you’ll need your partner for this one; if you don’t mind of course.”

“I’m listening.” She answered; leaning back and enjoying the vibration of the man’s voice as he explained the details to her about the man she had to kill.

That same night Sara gave Leonard a phone call as soon as she left the man’s body on the floor.

“He won’t be a problem to you anymore.” She said in a cheery voice and heard a hum of approval from the other end of the line.

“Pleasure doing business with you Mrs. Lance. Though I would like some sort of proof that he is really gone.” Leonard stated and Sara smirked. She looked at the bloodied ring that her target was wearing; the ring that she now had in her palm. “Poison in about an hour sounds alright?”

“See you then Mr. Snart.” She said and started walking towards her car to clean her bloodied hands; really eager to meet with the man.

 “Excellent work.” He said as he placed a glass of whiskey in front of the leather-clad blonde who sat in a stool on the bar of the nightclub. “You really are the best in your… profession.”

“I am the best at everything I do, Mr. Snart.” Sara smirked at the man as she removed her black leather jacket and gave him a view of her strapless matching bodice. “You only have to ask and you will see just how good I am.” Leonard downed his drink with his eyes locked with hers and a smile on his lips. The woman was a challenge and he liked that; a lot.

“I might just do that.” Sara stood up from her seat and leaned closer to him.

“You wanna dance, Leonard?” She asked with a smirk; her voice smooth even though she had to raise it due to the loud music.

“You go right ahead… I’ll watch.” He answered and Sara smiled at him before turning and walking towards the dance floor where many people were dancing with their bodies gliding together. Sara let herself free as she started dancing, with her body moving in sync with the music. Her hands passed through her blonde hair and she literally felt Leonard’s eyes on her the whole time she danced; something which shouldn’t be that arousing.

The nightclub was becoming blurry by the colorful smoke that oozed out of the vents on the ceiling and Sara suddenly felt a pair of bigger hands set on her shoulders from behind. She immediately turned and saw that a buff man was towering over her with a smug look on his face.

“Is there something I can help you with?” She questioned with a sharp voice and crossed her hands in front of her chest in defense.

“You can help me if you followed me to the bathroom.” He said and Sara raised her eyebrow. From the corner of her eye she saw that Leonard had stood up from his seat and was now clutching the cold gun in the holster on his leg.

“You should just go ahead and walk over there by yourself. I think you’ll fit right in that particular environment.” But the man either didn’t know how to take a hint or he didn’t know what it meant when a lady said no, because he grabbed Sara by the forearm but before he even had the chance to pull her towards him, both his hand was broken and he was turned into an ice sculpture by Leonard’s cold gun.

A few people turned to see what was happening but upon realizing that it was Leonard, they resumed dancing and ignored the smashed iced body on the ground.

“Well that’s one way to hit on a woman…” Sara noticed as she stepped on the broken ice and stopped a few inches in front of Leonard.

“Did it work though?” He asked with a smirk as he took a step closer to Sara. She looked at him for a moment before a smile appeared on her face.

“Hell yeah it did.” She answered and grabbed him by the lapels of his coat; connecting their lips and welcoming his starved mouth on hers. The buzz of the music seemed to fade and the only thing they both heard was the frantic beating of their hearts. Once Sara broke the kiss, Leonard was looking at her with a stunned look on his face; mouth not twisted in a smirk for once. “Told you I was the best.”

 Seeing her and Leonard like that; feeling as if that was her life there and this man somehow found his way into her heart… again… It was too much for her. But she kept driving and let the rest of the memories flow through her like the few drops of rain that fell on her car windows.

 She remembered that same night when they returned to her apartment; both so drunk that it took them about half an hour to open the door and when they did… Sara made sure she showed Leonard her apartment properly that night. And by properly she meant that they had sex in every surface they could until they both fell exhausted on her bed and Leonard just couldn’t find the strength to get up and walk away from the woman’s home.

Sara saw him again; waking up next to her many mornings after that, staying up with her many nights… He wasn’t that much of Captain Cold anymore around her. His walls had lowered and maybe the knowledge that this wasn’t actually the leader of his rival team had made it easier for him to be in this “relationship” with her.

The memories were now washing over her like a tidal wave; all the kisses and touches and times they were together in ways she and Leonard hadn’t even considered in their own reality, were catching up with Sara and almost drowning her. He had cherished her and… he cared for her. And she had made it clear that she was not a dog for him to order around; not that he would anyway. Leonard wouldn’t even think of trying to tame the fearless woman; his pretty bird, the bad-ass former Leader of the “Legends”.

He had seen her kill; break necks, stab and shoot people in cold blood.

These were the nights where he showed her how dear he held her the most. He would fill up the tub and he would join her as the blood washed off of her slowly and then he would love every inch of that dark soul of hers. Sara’s darkness was magnetizing his and even though they knew the risks, they didn’t really care.

Mick had started asking questions but thankfully Leonard made sure that he wasn’t going to tell anything to any of the others. Amaya seemed rather disinterested in the identity of Sara’s lover and she knew that her partner wouldn’t rat her out if it wasn’t necessary.

In front of the Legion or Darhk both of them would appear distant; almost cold towards one another, but it took a lot of their willpower to stop their eyes from meeting.

 She entered the Mayor’s office, really hoping that her, boyfriend wouldn’t notice anything.

The moment Sara walked inside the office after the mission to go retrieve Mick and deal with the rest of his so-called team … He had noticed something was off. The way she moved; the way she spoke and how her usual air of annoyance and slight arrogance was gone and was replaced… by suppressed fear.

And when Darhk spoke about killing the Black Canary and she punched him… that’s when he knew this wasn’t his Sara. But still, he couldn’t stop the lump on his throat from forming as Darhk had her floating in the air; ready to take her life.

 “Don’t think I’ll be giving you this just because you dated an evil version of me.” Sara clarified as Leonard stood opposite her with his cold gun aimed at her. She held the Spear tightly in her hands and as the gun started charging, Sara threw it on the floor with just one move. “Fair is fair, though.”

She hit him on the face using the spear and the man hissed before he managed to punch her on the face and then kick her; throwing her on the floor.

Still with the Spear in hand Sara jumped up and gave Leonard a swift kick on the face; causing him to almost fall back. This allowed Leonard to grab back his cold gun and aim it towards her again.

“Sorry, but I really want the Spear, you know. To bring my vanished girlfriend back to life among other things…” He said and in that moment he had shot her in the forearm but Sara had already thrown the Spear… which now Amaya was holding.

“Good catch.” Sara stated and the other woman smiled as she started chanting and no one made a move; knowing that it was too late to do anythi-

A burst of blinding ice hit Amaya on the chest and in mere seconds the woman had turned in an ice sculpture. Everyone was frozen as Sara released a cry and the team stared utterly speechless. Even the Legion had stilled.

“Sorry about your friend, Mick.” He said as he walked over to the frozen form of Amaya. “I know you loved her to pieces.” And then he smashed the woman to the floor.

Leonard knew that what he had done could not be undone. But he had the Spear of Destiny. He could make his partner forget, he could bring Sara back… he could bring his sister back… He had all the power in his grasp and he could finally have what he wanted…

Mick wouldn’t shoot him; he knew that much. Just as he would never shoot him. But right then, he knew that he had lost Mick forever and the only thing he could do was use the Spear.

And then Thawne had to go and destroy his only chance at ever getting the people he cared about back. All three of them.

And then all hell broke loose.

#sara lance #leonard snart #captain canary #sara lance x leonard snart #white canary #captain cold #white canary x captain cold #doomworld #lot spoilers #dc's legends of tomorrow #the crook to my assasin fic

[floralseokjin]

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Recently heartbroken, it feels like you’ll never be able to get over it. But a chance encounter with a guy you haven’t seen in months changes everything…  

pairing; min yoongi x f reader (past kim namjoon x f reader) au/genre/warnings; (semi) fuck buddies au, rebound au, unrequited feelings, smut (namjoon x reader); kissing, penetrative sex, conflicted feelings, realisations, arguments, pretty heavy angst, heartbreak   other; buff namjoon 😳 words; 7,586

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Hearing your phone ping, you looked over to where you’d placed it on your nightstand. You felt your stomach sink as soon as you saw whose name it was. Namjoon. You instinctively grabbed for it, unsure why, and clicked on the notification, reading his message as your heart drummed inside your chest. 

Namjoon (5:26pm): hey can we talk?

You froze, unsure what to do. What to think. You hadn’t been expecting him to contact you at all, not after what he’d found out on Friday, and not after you’d practically run off while he was outside, but here he was, reaching out. And one thing was for certain. You did not want to speak to him. 

You didn’t know whether it was because of how he’d acted or because of your own guilt. You knew you shouldn’t be feeling guilty, not really, you kept telling yourself, but you honestly couldn’t help it. All of his friends had kept this a secret from him, and he had found out in the most unfair way. You didn’t owe him anything, you had told yourself that before, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the look on his face when he’d walked in on you. The delay, the confusion, the disbelief… and then the anger. He’d thrown a punch at Yoongi for crying out loud. The man you’d known – your sweet, considerate, gentle boyfriend, would never have done that in a million years. You couldn’t think about it one moment longer, afraid that if you did, you’d start justifying it. 

You put your phone face down on the bed and went back to the book you’d been reading. Your apartment was quiet, just like it had been yesterday, Seulgi spending the weekend with Taehyung. Not that you minded. You wanted to be alone. You hadn’t even told her about Friday. 1. because you didn’t want to impose on her weekend and 2. telling her would make it all too real. You were already mortified enough that the rest of your friends had to witness it, and not for the first time this weekend, you wondered what they must think of you. You knew you were being stupid, but you just couldn’t help it. 

On top of that, Yoongi hadn’t messaged you at all today. It wasn’t uncommon but considering the circumstances you couldn’t help but feel a little weird about it. Not that you could say much. Yesterday morning you’d pretended to be still asleep when he’d woken up for work, the night before still heavy on your mind. You’d felt awkward and didn’t want to talk – not even half-asleep whispers. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. Morning, anyway. The usual, but then different: Are you okay after last night? You couldn’t bear it, so instead you’d waited for him to leave before doing the same. He’d texted you in the afternoon, checking in, and you’d done the same. That had been it. 

Yoongi had said you weren’t doing anything wrong, but for some reason this all felt like your fault. You couldn’t shake that feeling. 

Lost in thought, you jumped when your phone started ringing, and you didn’t have to see the screen to know who it was. You let it ring off, and then shortly after that there was a ping. With a sigh, you discarded your book, losing your page in the process, and picked up the device. 

Namjoon (5:45pm) (1) missed call 

Namjoon (5:46pm): I get that you hate me but I need to talk to you 

You felt a rush of anger. Of course you didn’t hate him. Who was he to assume that? You’d been madly in love with him up until a couple of months ago. He had no idea what you’d been through. No idea at all, and now he wanted to talk?! It was laughable. He was laughable. 

You stayed stubborn, ignoring his second call as it vibrated in your hand. 

Namjoon (5:50pm): (2) missed calls 

Namjoon (5:51pm): pick up please? 

With his third call five minutes later, your frustration had reached its limit. You answered with a tight hello. 

“____.” He sounded caught off guard, expecting to go ignored once again. Maybe he didn’t know anything about you.

“What do you want, Namjoon?”

“To talk,” he said softly, in the tone he used when he was trying to be reasonable. “I want to talk to you,” he repeated. Now he sounded worn out. “Please.” 

“What are we doing now?” you bit back, but your anger was slowly diminishing. In the back of your mind, you thought: I’m acting like a total bitch right now. 

“In person,” he explained. “I know I don’t deserve it, but please, let’s just talk.” 

You could feel yourself relenting but reminded yourself that he hadn’t given you time to talk when he’d broken up with you. He was gone shortly after, and you were left wondering what went wrong. What you had done wrong… 

“Can I come over?” he asked hopefully. 

“No.” You didn’t want him at your house. Not anymore. The memories of him were gone now and you could no longer smell him on your sheets. You didn’t want him back. 

“____, don’t be like this. Please,” he begged. You heard something in the background of his call, it sounded as if he was zipping something up. “Do you want to meet up somewhere? Have you eaten yet? I’ll buy you dinner.” 

“I don’t want you to buy me anything, Namjoon,” you exhaled, but you no longer felt angry. It was probably to do with the way he was acting. He sounded off, a little dejected, and for some reason that relieved you a little. He wasn’t mad at you. 

“Okay, that’s fine,” he assured. “We can just meet up some place.”

You heard yourself sigh and then, “Sure.” 

You had given in. 

Or maybe this was what you wanted. 

“Really?” he rushed, once again surprised. 

“Yeah. Where?” 

“Anywhere you want.” 

“You’re the one who wants to talk to me, so you decide.” 

“Okay,” he replied gently. There was a pause as he thought, having put him on the spot. “Okay… uh, I’m staying with my parents. They’re working late, do you want to come over?” 

You hesitated. It sounded like a bad idea.  

“I’ll be leaving soon…” he added. “I just want to see you before I do.” 

The thought of him leaving again made your chest constrict. So, you agreed to drive to see him. 

.

.

Pulling up outside his parents’ house you felt a little sick. You hadn’t been here for months, long before you guys actually broke up. There was a time at the beginning of your relationship, when Namjoon still lived at home, that you were here almost every single day. His parents had always been friendly and welcoming and a part of you missed them. They lived in one of the most expensive neighbourhoods in the city, a far cry from what you had been used to growing up, but they were still lovely people. Rich didn’t immediately equal snooty, his parents were proof of that. They worked long and hard days for what they had, and you had always felt bad for initially judging them. 

Namjoon opened the front door as soon as he heard your car and you silently got out and made your way towards him, your face unreadable. You were trying so hard to keep your guard up. The last time he had seen you, minus Friday night, you had been a wreck in front of him. It was embarrassing to think about now. 

Somehow, you ended up in his room, the memory of the first time you’d slept together instantly appearing in the forefront of your mind. You grew angry again, annoyed these things could just pop back up again with his simple reappearance. 

“You wanted to talk, so just talk,” you told him, crossing your arms. 

He stood in front of you and let out a frustrated sigh. “____, don’t be like this.” 

“I’m sorry, what am I supposed to be like exactly?” 

Your defence was up. He’d dumped you three months ago, moved cities a few days later and then you heard nothing from him the entire time he’d been gone. Now, here he was acting as if you were being unreasonable. Friday night he hadn’t so much as looked at you properly, too focused on trying to fight Yoongi, and now here he was wanting to talk to you? What could be said now? It didn’t matter anymore. You were over, and you were over him. 

Namjoon dropped his head. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just—,” he stopped, unsure what to say. You watched him sit on the side of the bed. He tried again, dropping his head in his hands. “I’m just frustrated, that’s all. I don’t know where to begin.” 

Your jaw clenched. “I don’t have all night so work it out fast.” 

He looked up at you, in disbelief almost. You knew what he was thinking. He couldn’t think of a time you’d spoken to him quite like this before. “Can you sit down at least?” he asked, and you nearly said no, but stopped yourself. You chose his desk chair and waited. 

He watched you quietly, as if he was thinking hard. “I get it,” he began. “I deserve this for how I treated you. I get it completely, but it still hurts.” 

He didn’t know what hurt felt like. You wanted to tell him as much but bit your tongue. 

He shook his head slowly, disappointed it seemed – maybe annoyed. “He’s gotten into your head.” 

“Yoongi?” you frowned, shaking your head. “Don’t do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Try to make me feel guilty,” you exclaimed, your emotions getting the better of you. “Try to make me feel sorry for you! You ended things, Namjoon.” Your voice broke a little and you took a deep breath. “You broke my fucking heart and I’m not going to feel bad about who I decide to sleep with after you.” 

“____, it’s Yoongi. He was my fucking friend for so long. He was–He—,” 

“You don’t love me anymore so what does it matter who he is? Who he was?” You winced as you said that, worrying you sounded pathetic. What did you care if he didn’t love you anymore? 

“That’s not true,” he insisted. “I still…care about you.” His pause hurt more than it should. “We were together a long time and I was in love with you.” 

You refused to listen, scoffing a laugh. “Listen to yourself. I didn’t come here so you could remind me why you broke up with me. I get it. I understand it.” 

“That’s not what I wanted to do. I-I don’t know what to say.” He rubbed his face. “Is it just sex?” 

Thrown by his question, you stared at him. 

“Are you and him just sex?” he tried again. 

“Yes.” 

He didn’t even deserve that answer. 

“What about for him? How does he feel about it?”

You shrugged noncommittedly, feeling uncomfortable talking about this with him. You skin felt prickly. “The same.” 

“How did it happen?”

“Namjoon, I don’t want to talk about it with you,” you told him. 

“Please,” he asked. “I just want to know how it started.” 

Did you owe him that? You weren’t too sure, but to ease your conscience you answered him anyway, trying to sound as casual as possible. “We bumped into one another at the store, we hung out, it was entirely random, but we ended up…” You couldn’t finish. He got the picture.

His expression changed, irritation flickering over his features. “He was always sly as fuck, why am I even surprised?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You were feeling defensive again. “Do you think he’s just doing it to get back at you?”

“____, you don’t even… Never mind,” he stopped with a sigh, shaking his head. “I don’t think that.” 

“You do!” you cried. “I can see it in your eyes!”

“I don’t!” he insisted. “Trust me, he’s not doing it to get back at me, he’s doing it because–you know what, maybe yeah,” he paused, changing his mind, “maybe he is doing it to fuck me over.” 

You scoffed. You knew it. You hated thinking it back when you were together, but sometimes Namjoon could be so egotistical. You felt sad coming to such a conclusion right now. Sad because you were seeing his negative traits properly for the first time. Or maybe you were just trying to make yourself feel better… 

“He’s not who you think he is,” Namjoon said. “He’s… You can’t trust him, baby.” There was about two feet separating you both, but he outstretched his hand as if to comfort you, letting you down gently. 

“Don’t call me that,” you warned, feeling maddened. Namjoon wasn’t a baby kind of guy, so when he did use it, or other words to that effect, it was because he wanted something. Innocent when you were together, maybe he didn’t feel like cooking together one night and wanted takeout instead. Maybe he had hard on and wanted to get you in the mood, or maybe he really wanted to go out with the guys on the weekend even though you’d already made plans. They were small things, unimportant, a part of his charm, but deep down they all meant something. Like now. This time he wanted you to believe him.  

“He’s taking advantage of you,” he added. 

“Please,” you sneered, standing up. You might as well leave, you didn’t want to hear what he had to say anymore. 

“Do you want to know why we’re not friends anymore?” he rushed, jumping up too. “Why I never told you what happened?” 

You paused, the urgency in his voice hard to ignore. You stared at one another and then he opened his mouth again. 

“He likes you.” A brief pause. “He liked you then and he likes you now.” 

You wanted to laugh, the whole thing sounded so absurd, but no sound would come out. Instead, you said with complete seriousness: “Don’t lie to me, Namjoon.”

He held your gaze. “I have never lied to you.” 

That much was true. But just because he thought he was telling the truth didn’t mean he was. Maybe he believed Yoongi liked you. That wasn’t the same thing. 

“You’ve got it wrong. It’s not like that, we’re just…” you trailed off, unsure what it was like exactly. You had a hard time describing it. “It’s just casual, and we’re friends.” 

“There’s nothing casual about it,” Namjoon chuckled dryly. “He knew what he was doing from the beginning.” 

“I don’t understand,” you heard yourself murmur. 

“He wanted you from the beginning. It’s always been the same,” he decided to explain for you. “Everything I have, he wants. He’s always been jealous of me.” 

“That’s not true.” 

Yoongi wasn’t the jealous type, and he’d never once talked shit about Namjoon, not really – at least in front of you. Of course he’d said things in the beginning, but that was nothing, only wanting to make you feel better. Wanting to help you get over the breakup. 

“Why? Because he told you that?” Namjoon prodded. “Of course he would. He wants to be the good guy, and what better way than to be the one who’s there for you after our breakup.” 

He was rehashing your thoughts but saying them in a different way. Your head hurt. “Just stop talking for a moment,” you whispered, feeling the need to sit down again. Somehow you found yourself perched on his bed. 

He sat next to you, close but keeping a respectful distance. You could smell him, and he smelled the same as you remembered. You could feel the heat radiating from his body. In the beginning you had hoped and prayed for a situation like this, and it was pretty ironic that you were here now, when you had given up on him weeks ago. Still, you found yourself easily remembering back… 

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” he said softly, his voice almost in your ear, breath wafting your hair. He was careful, wanting to see if it was okay to carry on. You didn’t stop him. “And baby, I should have told you all that time ago, I just didn’t want to put all that on you. You care and worry about everyone, even if they’re not worth your time and I didn’t want you feeling guilty over it. Like it was your fault when he is the one with the problem.”

What could possibly be your fault? Yoongi didn’t like you. At least, he didn’t like that. You would know if he did. You’d been sleeping with him for weeks now. “I…” Slowly your head started to clear. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

You looked up at him then, noticing how close he was. For the first time since you’d set eyes on him again, you took in his appearance. Like really took it in. He looked the same but different, and the differences made a big deal. His hair was shorter, darker, and it made his face look more angular, tougher. It made him look older, and it was obvious he’d been working out a lot lately. His shoulders were broader, the white t-shirt he was wearing tight across his chest. You’d long stopped scrolling through his social media feeds so to see him like this felt weird. You’d been too in shock to truly notice on Friday night, but now alone, and being so close, it was all you could see. 

Your heart gave a short, sharp tug. As if it was attempting to yank its way out of your chest, towards him. It made you feel confused. 

“Just say you understand why I was so mad two nights ago.”

You frowned slowly, recalling what happened. “I didn’t like seeing you like that.”

His face fell. “I know, I felt horrible afterwards, I just…” 

You felt your edges soften, something inside of you changing. This was the Namjoon you knew. The one who spoke slowly and softly. He was rational. He was cautious. He was calm at all times. 

“I should have known he’d try something after I left.” 

This time you didn’t defend Yoongi. Instead, you wanted an answer to a question that had almost eaten you alive at one point. “Then why did you leave?”

Namjoon sighed softly, running a hand through his hair. “I just had to.” 

It wasn’t an answer. Not really. 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered. 

“Don’t.” You couldn’t handle hearing it. 

 “But it’s the truth,” he swore. “I know—,” he stopped, faltering, but ultimately decided to continue. “I know breaking up was the only logical choice, but I think about you a lot.” 

Logical choice? Leaving you was a logical choice. But despite that your heart still began to pound. He thought about you. All those nights unable to get to sleep right at the beginning, mind whirring, imagining how he was getting on, what he was doing right now, if he was thinking about you, if you were ever on his mind… 

“Do you think about me?” he asked softly.  

You held his gaze. “You broke my heart, Namjoon.” Of course you thought about him. 

He looked devastated to hear that, even though he already knew, but your heart still gave another tug. It was at least something from him. All this time you believed he didn’t care, but here in front of you, right now, he looked guilt-ridden. 

“I know,” he murmured, “I know I did, and I’ll always feel awful about that.” 

You stared at one another, but you didn’t reply. To know he felt bad was all you ever wanted. You felt relieved in a way, comforted. This was how you’d wanted that night to go, the night he’d broken up with you. Maybe if it had you would have accepted it better. You wouldn’t have been okay, granted, but it would have been easier. 

“I have missed you,” he repeated, as if he knew you didn’t believe him the first time around. 

He caught you staring at his mouth as he spoke, and when you looked back into his eyes you saw something, a flicker, of what you couldn’t really describe. Another tug, and it moved you closer. How often had you pictured this moment? Not for a while but that didn’t matter right now. Namjoon’s gaze was on your lips then; parted as if you were about to say something, but you didn’t know what exactly. For a split second your mind went: kiss me, and he heard it. 

The first press of his mouth was careful, as if he was expecting you to push him away, but when he felt you kiss back, he took a shaky exhale, one hand reaching for your cheek. You closed your eyes and he kissed you harder, your mouths beginning to move together. It lasted all of thirty seconds, your hand reaching for his, silently telling him that maybe this wasn’t a great idea. You slowed, and he kissed you once before moving to the corner of your mouth, kissing there too. You turned your head, and he leaned his forehead against your temple. You stayed there for a few moments, breathing heavily. 

“We should stop,” you finally managed to whisper. 

He moved away. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, dropping his head into his hands. “My head’s just all over the place.” 

You felt a wave of emotion. “Joon…” 

He turned his head your way, a small, sad smile on his face. “I missed you calling me that.” 

One more tug. This time it was you who reached for him, kiss turning urgent instantly, different to the last time. Your tongues met, and he tasted just as you remembered. You found yourself on your back, Namjoon hovering above you, the wet sound of your lips moving together helping empty your mind. You wanted to concentrate on this, on this moment you’d spent weeks imagining once upon a time, weeks praying for… 

You felt him against your hip and the knowledge you could still get him hard (and without so much as touching him) did wonders for your ego. You kissed him harder in return, sloppier, growing hot when his hand grazed your breast, trailing down your stomach. He stopped as he neared the waistband of your sweatpants and pulled away from the kiss to look at you. 

“Do you want to?” he asked, studying your face for a reaction. 

You nodded, a shaky yes slipping out soon after, and then he was back on your mouth, grunting a little, his excitement obvious. He slipped his hand inside, bypassing your underwear to find you wet for him. You thrummed to his touch, your moans muffled by his mouth as his fingers rubbed your clit, and then he pushed a finger inside of you. Dipping his head, he watched down your body as he started to move, not that he could see anything at all with all your clothes still on, but the visual of his hand moving around in your sweatpants seemed to do the job. He let out a shaky breath, fingering you harder, a second finger making its way inside. You heard yourself, hands holding the back of his neck, keeping him to you. 

A couple of minutes later he was wrestling off your clothes and throwing them off his bed. His t-shirt followed, your eyes meeting a body you definitely weren’t familiar with. Namjoon had always kept himself fit but never to this extent. He looked like a completely different person. The way he tasted might have been the same but the way he felt was completely new. 

He caught you staring and chuckled. “You don’t think it’s too much? I kept remembering how you don’t really like muscular bodies.” 

No, you didn’t really like over the top muscular bodies, but correcting him was the last thing on your mind right now.

He moved closer, wanting you to touch him. He chuckled again. “It kept coming back to me every time I was working out.” 

You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his chest. “It’s…different.” 

“So you don’t like it?” he smiled – the cheeky kind, dimple visible. 

You smiled back. “I didn’t say that.” 

And then he went back to stripping, his erection springing free when he tugged off his boxers. You throbbed with a sudden excitement but didn’t reach forward to touch him. He kissed you again, warm, large hands cupping your tits, thumbs playing with your nipples. It was how he remembered you liked to be touched, chasing the little moans you gave him. 

But still things felt a little clumsy. Your noses bumped together a little too roughly and your teeth seemed to clash. Maybe it was a given – it had been a while and you couldn’t actually remember the last time you’d had sex. His mouth was on your chest now, sucking your nipple a little too harshly, making you grit your teeth, but the way he stroked down your sides felt nice. 

“I missed you so fucking much,” he kissed down your stomach, but you couldn’t tell if he meant it, or if he was just saying it because he thought the moment called for it. 

He made his way further, between your legs, but you stopped him, taking his face in your hands. “No, let’s just…” 

He understood completely, smirking as he kneeled up. “Someone’s eager.” You spread your legs, letting him fit in between, his fist slowly raking up and down his cock as he got ready. “This okay?” he asked, looking down. “I have—,” 

“It’s fine,” you reassured. If he stopped to grab a condom that would leave you both time to think, and thinking was dangerous at a time like now. 

He nodded, leaning forward, one hand pressing into the bed, the other lining up at your entrance. He pushed in carefully, taking his time with it. You were wet but you weren’t soaked, making the burn felt. You gripped his shoulders, realising how broad he’d gotten, and moaned a little as he started moving. Thrusting more each time, he got deeper and deeper inside you. When he bottomed out, he gave you a wonky grin, almost drunk-like. Instead of returning it you kissed him. You’d started thinking. About how that action was familiar, used to ruin you, make you heart feel all fuzzy, but now? Now it didn’t seem to have the same effect. 

Your bodies worked together but something felt different. It was like you were moving to different rhythms, no longer in sync like you were once before, and when his fingers started rubbing your clit, his voice deep and throaty in your ear (Gonna cum for me, baby?), Yoongi finally reappeared in your mind. 

Yoongi’s voice, Yoongi’s hands, Yoongi’s face. 

You shut your eyes tight, begging yourself to concentrate on what was happening now. You were having sex, and it felt good, no matter how different it was now. You were about to come. You could come. You did come. It might not have been the same anymore, but Namjoon still remembered how to work parts of your body. The orgasms didn’t have to be mind-blowing, just good, just something to tell himself he’d done a good job. 

As he felt you release around him, he groaned, hips stuttering, and you felt an inappropriate kind of satisfaction: You could still make him lose it. Pushing up on his palms, he continued to thrust, sweat collecting inside his furrowed brow.  “Is it okay to cum inside?” His voice was weak with exertion, breath now huffing out of him. 

To your surprise, you found yourself shaking your head. 

His eyes widened a tad, maybe there was a fleck of disappointment in them. “You’re n-not on the pill anymore?”

“I keep forgetting to take it,” you lied. 

If he knew you as well as he used to, he shouldn’t have believed you, not really. You never forgot a thing, especially something that important. But he didn’t bat an eyelid, not that you were expecting him to call your bluff. That would have been a jackass move, and Namjoon wasn’t a jackass, you just didn’t work anymore. If you let him come inside you this would start to feel like some sort of betrayal, and selfishly, you couldn’t bear that. 

He finished on your stomach, and then cleaned it up with some tissue. Just like old times, you thought, but this was so, so different. You were both different. Still, you let him wrap you in his sheets and you cuddled for a few minutes. You thought of Yoongi once again. 

Namjoon sat up. “Woah, didn’t think we’d be doing that again.” He said it the way he did when his favourite football team somehow won a game – happy, but in mild disbelief. For some reason you didn’t like it. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand. “Fuck, I gotta go soon.” Then, before you could blink, he’d jumped out of bed. 

You sat up, should’ve done when he did. “Go where?”

“Back home.” He was shoving on his clothes, clumsily tripping over one leg of his jeans. 

Back home? This was his home. He’d been born here, raised here, spent over twenty years of his life here. 

“You’re leaving right now?”

He was fully dressed now and staring at him you felt naked and stupid. “Well, in about an hour. I said I’d drop by to say goodbye to my parents at work first.” 

“Oh, my god.” 

You started dressing, hurriedly, grabbing for your clothes on the floor. 

“What?” He sounded so puzzled, looked it too when you jerked your head up. 

You snapped your bra into place. “Did you enjoy that just now?” Then slid your underwear on. “Did it feel different to you?”

He thought it through, sounding unsure when he replied. “Yeah, I guess it felt different, but I mean, it has been months since the last time.” 

Sex, that’s all it had been. Not good, not bad, just sex. Once upon a time sex with Namjoon had been the most brilliant thing in the world. 

He watched you stand, in your sweatpants now, t-shirt following. “Hey, slow down.” He was in front of you suddenly, forehead creased in concern. 

“Namjoon, tell me truthfully,” you spoke carefully. You needed to know. “If I hadn’t been at Dana and Jin’s place, would you have told me you were back for the weekend? Would you have visited me?” 

You watched him hesitate, heart sinking, but not because you were sad. You were disappointed, with yourself. “I wouldn’t have wanted to potentially hurt you again,” he was saying. And then more defensively: “You can’t be mad at that.” 

“I’m not mad at that,” you breathed, feeling tired. “What about this? Did you only want to do that right now because of Yoongi?” You had to ask. 

“No! What the hell, ____.” 

You weren’t listening, not really, hit with a sudden, intense regret. “Oh god, what have I done?”

“What have you done to him, you mean?”

You stared your ex-boyfriend right in the eyes, pleading almost. “Does he actually like me? Are you sure?”

You weren’t calling Namjoon a liar, but maybe he was mistaken. He believed it to be the truth, but it wasn’t. 

“See, this is what I didn’t want to happen. You’re blaming yourself.” 

You felt yourself grow angry. “Of course I’m blaming myself! I’ve been sleeping with him for weeks totally clueless! I’ve just slept with you right now after you told me the truth!” 

“Just calm down, you’ve had a shock,” he tried to placate you, putting his arm around your shoulders. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about, okay? It’s all on him.” 

You shrugged him off. “Have you slept with anyone since we broke up?”

Your questioning wasn’t making sense to him, you could tell by his face. “A couple, yeah,” he answered slowly, “but I promise I used protection each time.” 

“That’s not…that’s not what I meant.” Although, you felt even more foolish for not even considering it. 

No, what you meant was: You were over one another. It was over and had been for a long time. When you’d imagined this moment all those weeks ago, months ago, it had ended with you both confessing you still loved each other. Namjoon was sorry and he wanted you back. Long distance wouldn’t be a problem and then after you graduated, you’d move to be with him. The reality was very different. You had someone else on your mind. 

“I need to go,” you told Namjoon. He didn’t try to dissuade you. 

“What are you going to do? Are you going to tell him?” 

“Of course I am.” 

He opened his mouth then closed it again. Opened it again. “Do you want to talk about this tomorrow? I can call you after work.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything left to say, Namjoon,” you told him sadly. 

He hung back, gaze dropping to the floor, but you knew he agreed. “Uh, yeah,” he said awkwardly. “I’ll see you around then.” 

You nodded, but you didn’t know if it was true or not, and as you left, you wondered what had been worse: The both of you leaving things like you had three months ago, or leaving things like you had just now… 

.

.

You spent the rest of the night holed up in your room. It was just gone eleven when you heard Seulgi come home, and you stayed extra quiet as she walked past your door, thankful you had all the lights out. You wanted her to think you were asleep just so you didn’t have to tell her what had happened today – this weekend. Things had gone from bad to worse and it wasn’t even the end of it. The thought of tomorrow filled you with dread. It had to be tomorrow, you couldn’t hold it off for longer. It wouldn’t be fair on Yoongi. 

Yoongi… You spent hours thinking back, trying to recall every moment you’d shared with him in a bid to pick up the signs you’d foolishly missed. There wasn’t much to go by. The first night, that seemed like a good place to start, but it was mostly a blur, so long ago now. You remembered he’d said some stuff, made you feel really good about yourself, but what? And did that really mean anything? Half of you wanted Namjoon to be mistaken, just so all this could be avoided. Just so your conscience could be clear. But the other half was heavier, gnawed at you. It was the truth, and you’d been entirely clueless. 

You didn’t go to class the next morning, and then at lunch time you called out of work, told them you had a migraine. You weren’t lying as such, your head was pounding, but it was through lack of sleep and worry. Seulgi had left early while you were still in bed, texted you wondering if you wanted to hang out with a couple of your other friends later, but you passed, migraine excuse again. You needed to call Yoongi. You needed to tell him what had happened. You knew he finished work early on Mondays. 4pm. But that came and went. At five o’clock you were staring at his contact screen, begging yourself to just hit call. By six you had convinced yourself he already knew. Maybe Namjoon had blabbed to Jin, Hoseok, and then of course the two friends had to tell their other friend. The friend involved in all this… You felt scared, then angry, angry at yourself because you were being so spineless. 

At just gone 7pm you got a text. 

Yoongi (7:06pm) busy? Want to come over? Jimin isn’t home 

You had been saved in a way. At least the first hard part had been done for you. But you were all on your own for the second. You spent the next half an hour getting ready. You hadn’t showered all day, still in your pyjamas. There was no excitement like there usually was. Eager to see Yoongi’s face, hang out with him… kiss him… touch him… taste him. Your body felt heavy as you got in your car, slow as you walked to his door. 

It was open, always was, you’d griped enough already, and he always blamed it on Jimin. You wanted the journey to his bedroom to last forever, but in no time you were in front of the door. You gripped the handle and turned it, feeling your heartbeat pound behind your ears. 

You were met with Yoongi’s smiley face as he got out of his desk chair. “Before you say anything, I left the door unlocked because I knew you were coming,” he was saying, but all you could concentrate on was the way he was looking at you – smiling at you. Had he always looked at you that way? With so much warmth, so much affection. You had been so embarrassingly oblivious. 

It really is true, you thought to yourself, then told yourself to shut up. 

Yoongi’s smile finally fell, noticing the look on your face. What did you look like exactly? “____?” Pause. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.” 

That wasn’t what you’d wanted to start with, but it was all that would come out. You felt the sting of tears. You couldn’t cry, you didn’t deserve to cry. 

“____, what happened?” he tried again, stepping forward, reaching for you. You let him touch you because it would probably be the last time he did. “Sit down.” He ushered you to his bed, perched right next to you. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?” His hand was on your back, rubbing it gently, worriedly. Your stomach churned, you felt sick. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, unable to say anything else. You dropped your head into your hands, beginning to shake a little. 

As if sensing something was seriously wrong, the motions across your back stopped. “Tell me.”

You made an unsteady exhale, lifting your head, but you couldn’t look at him as you forced yourself to speak. “Yoongi, something happened. Yesterday–last night, I…I…” Your throat constricted and you forced yourself to swallow. You felt Yoongi move away from you slightly. He knew, he’d guessed, you told yourself, so suddenly it was easier. 

“I slept with Namjoon.” 

The silence that followed was gaping. Yoongi was frozen beside you, but you couldn’t look over. You couldn’t. You didn’t want to see the look on his face, the look in his eyes, but you needed to hear his voice. 

“Say something,” you whispered. “Say something, please.” 

Another ten seconds passed before he managed to reply, voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what to say.” 

That’s when you knew you had to do it. You needed to see his face, look him in the eyes. You owed him that. Turning your head, you saw he was already staring straight at you. His jaw was clenched, face unreadable except for his eyes. They glistened, betraying him. 

“I’m so sorry,” you started up again, a broken record at this point. “It just sort of happened. He wanted to talk and he wouldn’t give up so I drove over to his parents’ place, and he told me—,” You stopped yourself, unable to say it. “It was a mistake. I was just really confused and I thought I missed him. I thought—,” 

“What did he tell you?” 

Yoongi’s voice shook, realisation breaking across his face, flittering through his eyes. 

A gasp or a sob slipped from your throat, you didn’t know which. “It’s true, isn’t it? It’s really true,” you sniffed like an idiot. Of course it was fucking true, but hearing – seeing – it from Yoongi himself, it made it so much more real. “Oh, god.” The tears started to spill and you rushed to wipe them away. “I’m so sorry. If I could take it back I would.” 

Take what back exactly? Last night or these past two months? The idea of hurting Yoongi was too much for you. 

Yoongi scoffed an annoyed laugh, looking down at his feet. “I am such a fucking idiot.” 

“No. Yoongi, don’t say that.” You reached for him. “You’re not—,”

“Don’t touch me,” he stopped you. “Not now.” Your hand lingered for a brief, sad moment and then you placed it in your lap. More silence and then: “Did you really fuck him straight after he told you I liked you?” 

The blunt, matter-of-fact way he spoke made your face burn with shame. “I didn’t want to believe him,” you tried to explain. “I was confused. I wanted to tell you straight away but I was just so…” Stopping yourself, you sniffled, everything felt like an excuse at this point. 

“So is that it?” he asked. “Are you guys getting back together?” 

“What? No!” you cried. “No, of course we’re not.” You turned your entire body to face him, desperate for him to listen. “Yoongi, it was a mistake. After-afterwards I realised I didn’t feel—,” 

“Just stop talking.” 

“But listen to me,” you begged. “I don’t– I’m over him! I’ve been over him for a while and I hate that I let last night happen. I hate myself for doing it.” 

“Then why did you?” 

You didn’t reply, didn’t know how to. 

“You do realise that he did it to hurt me, right?” Yoongi continued. “To spite me. It wasn’t about you.” 

 You felt a sudden flare of anger. Why would he say such a thing? “No, don’t. Are you sure you weren’t the one doing this to spite him?” This thing between the two of them, you had always been the clueless one. 

“I’m positive,” Yoongi scoffed, standing up, looking straight at you, eyes wide, voice raised a little. “You want to know how I’m positive? Because it’s always been you!” Then, quieter, “It’s been you for so fucking long.” 

You wanted to cry all over again. “Then why didn’t you tell me?” you demanded. “This whole time we were – together – and you just kept this from me? It’s not fair, Yoongi.” 

“What good would telling you have done?” He turned, began pacing. 

“Seriously?! We could have talked about it!” 

“Talked about what?” Explosive, he whipped around to face you again. “How I’m so fucking in love with you and how you don’t feel the same? How you never will?” 

“Y-you’re what?” Your ears were ringing. 

He stared at you for a moment, could see your eyes brimming with tears. “Forget it,” he muttered, then his back was to you. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It never did.” 

For some reason, that hurt. You stood. “Yoongi, what happened with Namjoon was a mistake.” Making your way closer to him, you clung to his arm, then stepped in front of him. “I don’t want him.” 

His gaze was on you again, studying you. “And do you want me?” He gave you a second – a second too long. “Exactly.” 

“No,” you panicked, stuttering a little, falling over your words. “No, wait. That’s not what– I need some time to think. This is a lot to take in. I had no idea how you felt…” 

Why couldn’t he understand this? It wasn’t as simple as just wanting him. 

He stayed silent; a single tear slid down his cheek. Your heart broke. You touched his upper arm. “Yoongi, listen to me. Talk to me.” 

“There’s nothing left to say.” He shook you off and wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. “I like you, you don’t feel the same. It’s fine.” 

“That’s not true!” you cried. 

“Then why can’t you say it?” 

You hesitated, Yoongi taking the moment to step away from you, walking towards his desk. He began neatening it up, putting his headphones away in the drawer, switching off his monitor, shoving his chair away. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I never meant to hurt you. I-I…” 

“It’s my own fault. The guys warned me time and time again and yet—,” he cut himself off, sighing. What? Jin and Hoseok already knew? You opened your mouth, but Yoongi was continuing, a wry smile on his face as he caught your eyes. “It’s done now, though. It worked. You’re over Namjoon. I helped.” 

“Yoongi…” 

He shook his head. “Please can you just leave.”  

“No, I don’t want to.” There was still so much you wanted to say. There was still so much you had to talk about. 

“Please, ____.” He was pleading with you, sounded exhausted. “I can’t do this right now.” 

You knew you had to listen. He deserved that, but your feet felt stubborn. Nodding slowly, your voice shook as you asked, “Can I call you soon?” 

“What, after you’ve had time to think?” he scoffed, then looked guilty. “It won’t change anything, ____,” he said softly. “I can’t wait any longer. That’s it. I’m done.” 

It sounded so final. There was nothing left to say. Nothing you could say to make this better, make this all go away. 

Slowly, you forced yourself to turn, to leave, a few fresh tears slipping out as a familiar hole in your chest started to grow. 

Written 2018 - 2021. Reworked/re-edited 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#yoongi smut #bts smut #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:pbn

[chronoscasuals]

Sentinels of the Multiverse: Adelphophage’s Archives (part 6: pre-OblivAeon Hero re-balances)

Welcome all to Chronos Casuals, I’m ChronosMysty and today I’ll go over the hero card inserts for each hero and the general motivations for each. These are not needed to enjoy the villain promos, but I generally find the experience better including all of the changes. To summarize Adelphophage’s thread on this: https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1790312/adelphophages-card-inserts These are the general reasons why he would change a card: • It is far too strong • It is so weak that it will never get played (at least with certain power cards for the deck) • It just isn’t fun

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into the changes for Absolute Zero:

Coolant Blast was pretty much only useful with some of his own one-shots, against fire-based villains, or in tandem with Ra. Providing Absolute Zero with a method of dealing with environments and giving a second use to Coolant Blast seemed like a no-brainer. Sub-Zero Atmosphere was a very strange card that could either cheese fights or be completely useless. This version has a passive bonus of having Absolute Zero deal himself 1 cold damage, which, with the right set of equipment turns into 3 healing at the end of his turn.

Argent Adept:

Yeah, that’s just about it. Argent Adept is fairly balanced, but being able to reliably destroy Ongoing cards is a bit too much, especially with the base power of only needing it. Toning it down so that you have to destroy your own Melodies along with Ongoings helps a lot with reeling in this card.

Bunker:

Bunker had a serious problem of wanting to either plop down an Omni-Cannon and camp in Recharge Mode all game until the mega-blast, or plop down a Flak Cannon, Grenade Launcher, and Turret Mode and spam damage all game, both of these prohibiting doing anything else. The big changes are the Modes, which used to essentially double one phase at the expense of the other two and provide a related passive buff (except for Upgrade Mode, whose passive buff was still letting you draw cards). Instead they require skipping one of the other two phases (and don’t prohibit the actions entirely) and replace it with a supercharged version of the phase the mode can’t skip. The Gatling Gun buff just adds back the DPS buff Turret Mode lost (albeit at a higher cost due to it being easier to draw cards with Bunker now). It also deals damage when you discard, a common theme you’ll see. Maintenance Unit just needed a tune-up.

Captain Cosmic:

Conservation of Energy now does what it sounds like it should - those constructs in play likely cost you a draw and a playing of a Construct, now they refund you both. Construct Cataclysm’s first option was always a bad exchange of damage, this change just makes the option more pickable.

Chrono-Ranger:

Chrono-Ranger’s changes format a very different change in playstyle. Chrono-Ranger always had this dissonance of playstyle where he would get rewards for destroying his targets, but often keeping them around for Dead or Alive’s passive, Masadah, or Danny-Boy was a better investment. These changes remove that playstyle and return him to the bounty hunter he’s supposed to be, with By Any Means and The Ultimate Target being toned down a bit and No Executions getting a slight buff to keep it useful against decks that don’t care for their trash.

Expatriette:

Oh boy, did Expatriette need help. Arsenal Access ensures she hits at least 1 gun. The pride and Prejudice change let them both use 2 ammo with less setup. Submachine Gun was commonly the least effective gun. Expatriette had a card draw problem. Fix both by giving the least effective gun card draw. Hairtrigger reflexes, again, was either full cheese or near-useless. This change helps it be more tactical and useful right when you need it. The ammo changes were just to make them more useful. The Incendiary Rounds is especially fun with Submachine Gun and Tactical Shotgun.

Fanatic

Divine sacrifice now helps Fanatic properly sponge damage. This type of change will occur at least once more. Sacrosanct martyr was changed to give it a bit more use and to longer nonbo with Undaunted. Zealous Offense now works better when she doesn’t have Absolution out (and is a lot easier who to remember who it is affecting). Sanctifying Strike is to help give Fanatic a more aggressive playstyle and to work well with her base power.

Haka

It’s funny how Haka has dominion - a card that interacts with environment destruction, and no way to destroy the environment. His enduring intercession card was also pretty useless. Easy way to fix both. Ground Pound is among a common theme of being changed to not reduce damage dealt by character cards to 0. Punish the Weak did have some good synergies with his own deck (particularly Rampage), but often it was just a hinderance to his damage output. The damage reduction part was removed for such reason, as was its power, for it was no longer needed.

KNYFE

There has been exactly 1 time I used old Flawless Execution, and it ended with baron Blade’s incapacitated text causing KNYFE to deal herself down to 1 HP and executing herself. This change removes the extreme niche-case scenario and instead provides a much more likely scenario for proccing - actually destroying something. Overdo It was basically just moved to when she discards cards, with an added effect to get your hand back into the game once you’ve exhausted it.

Legacy

Legacy easily has one of the most overpowered decks and the most overpowered base powers. these changes help reel him in a bit by making locks on the villain either less effective or harder to maintain. (The Take Down change also makes Superhuman Durability have more purpose, giving him a way to take at least 5 damage.) Inspiring presence’s change is strange (I still think it should heal all hero targets by 1, maybe make it non-limited and say “Play this next to another hero target not next to an Inspiring Presence” so that you could have two out at once.)

Mister Fixer:

For the most part, riveting Crane was useless because, if they had damage resist, Mr. Fixer probably wasn’t getting through (or they had up to 2 damage resist and he was Dark Watch Fixer, in which case, he might cheese the battle). Weakening it and combining it with Alternating Tiger Claw’s text makes it much more reliable. With that, Alternating Tiger Claw needed new text, and so it got a damage buff against the lowest HP non-hero target, which is serviceable enough. Grease Gun is just to weaken it. Tire Iron was extremely situational, now it has a shtick. Personally, I’d rewrite it to “Increase damage dealt by Mr. Fixer by 2 and change it to projectile damage″ to clear up any ambiguity, but that it would also let him punch through weaker damage resist. It would certainly make it competitive with the other three equipment, though. Bloody Knuckles was pretty much only good with dark watch Fixer because you could destroy it the turn you played it for increased damage and no drawback. This change lets you keep it out or lets you simulate that use with any other Fixer version you may use. (There are a lot of cool fan-made Fixer character cards.)

Nightmist

NOTE: All the versions were changed, I just only included these particular ones for the text. Mist Form now can only last one round, which, again, is a change you’ll see again. Mistbound’s change doesn’t really impact much, it just seemed strange to see a spell that didn’t reference the MAGIC symbols. That, and it requires slightly more effort tom play such a powerful effect. Elder Ring now gets much more to the point of its destruction clause and makes it slightly less reliant on her other damage redirection Relic. Tome of Elder Magic had a cool power, but it never felt good using. Now the power has a purpose in speeding up spellcasting and making sure it probably won’t blow up in Nightmist’s face.

Omnitron-X

Singularity was a bad exchange of damage. At least now it contributes something even if you don’t destroy anything (although it will become more inefficient with each destroyed Ongoing). Reset now does something actually relevant for the deck.

Parse

This card was parse’s default strategy as soon as it was drawn, ensuring the villain never did anything surprising or dangerous again. As a one-shot, it can no longer do that every round, just one, helping fit into Parse’s playstyle a bit better. Besides, she already has a power for deck manipulation.

Ra

Flesh of the Sun God was either full cheese or useless. This change greatly reduces the cheese factor while also providing another use. As seen with Inspiring Presence, global damage buffs for 1 card play is too strong. Imbued Fire only lasting one round makes it justified. Wrathful Gaze was quite useless. Now, it has a point.

The Sentinels

(IIRC, the incapacitated abilities are still the same.)

I’ll be outright and say it - against AOE villains, The Sentinels can be pretty useless. Against non-AOE villains, they are insane. This character card reels them in a lot by making them play a bit like the Pantheon mentioned earlier. First, your team has 24 HP and your reviving one-shots just heal for a set amount of HP, helping provide a lot of tanking. Second, your heroes switch between incapped and active easily and can’t be active two turns in a row, meaning you have to plan out which members you want active to be able to use which effects. (This also helps reel in Durasteel Chains and the caliginous Cloak’s protection abilities.) This certainly won’t be for everyone, but I find it’s in general a more balanced experience.

Setback

Friendly Fire was generally an inefficient damage to luck engine, but it was also part of an extremely powerful combo with Mr. Fixer and Dual Crowbars. This change fixes both problems. Uncharmed Life gained an efficient (albeit now mandatory) way to sponge damage for the team, but now it only lasts a round and recovers more health. Surprising Fortune gained a huge buff to make it much more viable. Overall, Setback should have a much easier time gaining and maintaining the proper amount of luck, even if you decide to use Dark Watch Setback.

Tachyon

Hypersonic assault was just ridiculous. This version still is, in fact, but now it’s much more reasonable. Research Grant is pretty much an upgrade for base tachyon and an alternative option for freedom Five Tachyon, but the other two have pretty much no reason to reach for this. These extra abilities help provide some utility.

Tempest

Honestly, I have no idea why they gave one of the most effiicient DPS heroes one of the best healing cards in the entire game, but they did, and it has ruined countless games for me. This toned down version is still decently useful but it put Tempest back into the damage category. Vicious Cyclone was extremely sensitive to damage buffs and reductions. This change helps stabilize it a bit and lets it deal 1 damage a turn even without discards, which is fairly nice.

Unity

I always found it strange that Unity didn’t actually have any one-shots that summoned Mechanical Golems. Adelphophage fixed that.

Visionary

Brain burn was a super cheese move against some villains, fairly useless or too much of a damage exchange for others. This new one laser targets one card and then lets Visionary move on with her turn, which is so much more helpful. Foresight was pretty useless, and now it’s a great team support card. Mental Divergence suffered from the same “repeatedly able to destroy Ongoings” problem as Sarabande of Destruction. Now it can do it once upon entering play, but its other power has been supercharged and attached to a self-destruct clause. Again, full immunity to damage effects were limited to one round. Twist the Ether’s most common use was also generally the least fun. This slight change removed that option and, in my opinion, will help people realize just how fun this card can really be.

Wraith

For how flexible a hero Wraith was, she was really OP. With Microtargeting Computer out, her equipment were more powerful than Expatriette’s (not to mention her Utility Belt would let her use TWO of them), her Infrared Eyepiece was more powerful than dark Visionary’s deck manipulation on the villain, Smoke Bombs helped all the tank heroes be sponges, throat Jab could just neutralize some villains for a round, etc. These changes help reel Wraith back into a jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

And that’s all I have for you today. I’ll see you all next time and remember, keep it casual!

#Sentinels of the Multiverse #Adelphophage #Review

[davidallstarwriter-blog]

Windsky: Savior of The Sword [Chapter 1]

“Life as an experienced has blessed me with oh so many memories and lessons, but the moments I’ll remember the most will be the times I spend with him… the man who rose to become a myth. History calls him a hero, a protector, and a savior, but I have the pleasure to call him my best friend, for those unaware of whom I’m talking about, let me tell you the undefined story of the bravest, youngest, and most gallant knight there has ever been… Windsky.” Savior of the sword Legacy

Chapter 1 Sounds of Destructions and Hope

The story of Windsky remotes to the modern times of Daylen Gallen, the jubilant 15-year-old high schooler, was considered by society, for better or for worse, average for the typical teenager look; he was neither buff nor scrawny, somewhere in the middle, he had untidy blackish hair and an oval shaped head. Daylen occasionally gave service at the local library, but one particular deliverer would change his life trajectory forever

“He then stood up away from the crowd with a steadfast look in his eyes and raised his book with confidence, for he had realized that the secrets of his past laid on those papers” - Said Daylen holding a storybook while reenacting a scene in front of a couple of children– “But nonetheless, no one else believed the poor lad… the end”.

“Again! Again! Again!” shouted the children clapping their hands

“I’d loved to, kids, but your teacher has been angrily staring at me for the past 5 minutes.” said Daylen pointing at his supervisor of the same age, Olive Winker , a brownish-tone-of-skin girl wearing glasses without lenses, just to impress newcomers , and a hairstyle straight out of the 50s.

“By all means, Mr. Gallen, continue with your lecture, you just took away… how much time? Only 55 minutes of class –” Said Olive in a sarcastic and bitter manner “- I shall remind you that your only job here is to classify the books on the shelves in alphabetical order and not to distract my class with your ridiculous shenanigans.”

“C´mon Olive, the kids love me, one of them even gave me a drawing of me hitting you with a bat” – chuckled Daylen, but as he finished that sentence, Olive grabbed him tightly by the arm.

“Listen, Gallen, you think I wanted you here? I rather be assisted by Eduard Montez –”

“The guy who spelled “Ignorant” with Y?”

“- Don’t interrupt me! He would at least be somewhat tolerable and wouldn’t try to steal the attention of my class with stupid acts”. whispered Olive with great anger directly to Daylen´s ear.

“And you wonder why you don’t you have any friends”. Replied Daylen, then was immediately scolded by Olive to the front door of the library.

“I hope you enjoyed your last day with the kids, because you won’t be acting for them any time soon”

“What? You can´t fire me! You don’t have the right power to do that! -exclaim Daylen furiously

“No, Daylen, you are right, I don’t have neither the right power nor friends, but what I do have is a great relation with the teacher and I can ask her to throw your sorry behind out of the library at any time I want, you should be grateful I haven’t accused you before”.

“Wait… Olive, spare me this time c’mon, I’m aware we had stepped at each other’s wrong foot several times, but use common sense, let’s discuss this like full grown men… wait… no! I meant to say –” said Daylen to Olive, but she had closed the door of the library directly in front of his face “- girl…”

After Olive´s explosive reaction towards him, Daylen decided to better go back to his school and ask the principal for another service, someplace far away from the library, and specially from Miss. “O-live-me-alone”.

“Well… Mr. Gallen, here in “Little Stream High”, we constructed a simple system for all of our students to contribute to our society by performing activities according to their personalities, so I cannot assign you any other service that isn’t specifically made for you, so please talk a little about yourself and I’ll check if I can put you someplace else”. – said Mr. Horace Holdensen, the principal of Daylen´s high school, he was a skinny looking man, wearing a sweater with two letter Hs in at the front and the back.

“Well… I´ve always seen myself as being a little too hyperactive… mmm like one time, the whole classroom was in dead silence and I just couldn’t resist to shout and I did, then I got a report for screaming right next to a classmate accidently leaving him bleeding in his ear, but that’s off topic” - Said Daylen scratching his head trying not to look stupid – “I like to draw, I especially like to doodle on my notebook every time Mr. Mellen starts flirting with Miss. Renzella, its really weird and uncomfortable, I should also add that they sometimes –”

“Gallen!!! Focus!!! This isn’t a game!!!” – exclaim the principal.

“- Sorry, sir… I’m top honors on my class-”

“You are? – said Holdensen with a portion of surprise and extreme confusion, and a face expression saying “how low have we come?”

“I know, I may be ignorant for certain things, but not if it’s related to literature, mathematics or physics, sometimes I surprise myself, I began to be top-class since that girl, Cheryl Holt, started making friends with the “popular girls” since she has been out of the picture, of course regarding on grades and education, if not, she has become one of the most popular girls in the whole school and probably the whole town…”

“Gallen, for crying out loud, must we go on and on? Don’t change the darn subject! Haven’t they told you how easily distracted you are?” – shouted the principal with an artery pumping right at top of his forehead

“That was actually another trait of mine I was about to comment about… and you are right, I’ve been called distracted before, as well as a nuisance, useless and a screw up, but sir, I have great potential and I promise to do better in my next service, just give me one more shot” -begged Daylen

“Gallen, I too wish the world could only see the good traits of every person, we would live in a world of prosperity and hope, - said Holdensen as he held in his hands one of his favorite mugs – “but as you might have noticed, we humans refuse to accept the fact that our species is and will always remain imperfect, that’s the way it is, and you gotta learn to deal with it.”

“Guess so…”

“So… due to your last partner, Miss Olive Winker, refusing to work alongside you, one day each week, you’ll be spending time at the library with her, three days a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays -”

“But sir, I came here to change my spot, I can’t return to the library” – stated Daylen with a drop of sweat

“-It’s just as I told you, Mr. Gallen, deal with the world and the people living in it”

“But-”

“Wait… That’s not all, you will also be responsible for cleaning the pond at the back of the school” – said Mr. Holdensen looking at his computer’s monitor with a grin in his face

“-Two services? But that’s not fair” replied Daylen

“As you said, you have great potential, and people with that sort of characteristic are capable of maintaining even 10 services”.

“Yes sir…” – said Daylen with a fake smile in his face and underneath a desire of punching the principal right in his perfect teeth.

“Very well, your cleaning service shall start right away, behind the pond you’ll find a room full of equipment, now proceed and I want to make sure that those waters sparkle like the stars, did I make myself clear, Mr. Gallen?”.

“Yes sir… you surly did.” – said Daylen, leaving the principal’s office

After a kind of pointless meeting with principal Holdensen, Daylen walked directly to the pond, with a big frown in his face, as he got nearer to the pond, he realized that the pond was even smaller than he had imagine, about the size of a small children´s park.

“Mmm… you gotta be kidding, it’s not even that dirty, it looks fine to me, I can perfectly see my own reflection” – said Daylen frustrated, but as he continued seeing himself in the water, the reflection of a girl suddenly appeared floating in the pond, right in front of Daylen’s eyes, scaring him off – “What!!!??? What was that? A… girl? A… ghost?”.

Daylen then made a second look and noticed that the ghost girl had disappeared.

“Oh…thank the heavens… I’m too mad to think properly, I should really take a min…” – Daylen then suddenly lost complete control of his body and his eyes turned to pink.

“15 minutes more please -yawn- I feel as if I only slept for a couple of seconds -yawn-, what? Why do I sound in a lower pitch? –said the ghost girl via Daylen´s mouth, for she had accidentally possessed his body. “– Wow, I didn´t know I could possess people… this is so… weird, but how can I get out?” And without knowing, the ghost left Daylen’s body, leaving him confused and disorientated. The girl looked to have short hair, brightly pink eyes, medieval vestment, and the tail of a spirit instead of legs, as well as being almost completely transparent with a slightly tone of pink covering her.

“Well, wasn’t that hard, I’ll definitely get the hang of it” said the girl floating right next to Daylen.

“Who… what… are you?” – asked Daylen completely paranoid

“Oh heavens, sorry for introducing myself in such a hasty manner, I am the great sorceress and spiritual deliverer, Alma, I’ve been asleep for exactly 2000 years in this pond, waiting for this occasion to happen, my call is to seek for the mythical sword that will prevail against all dark matter and shall maintain peace and order to humanity until the next age of extinction”

“Maybe Olive wasn’t joking when she said that I needed a therapist”. – said Daylen unaware of what was happening in front of his eyes.

“Stranger, I mostly require the help of a person of thrust to locate the sword, as I won’t be seen as a friendly passerby on the eyes of the public, due to my spiritual looks.”

“Whoa… first tell me what is happening here?”

“I already told you, stranger, I have been in a deep sleep-”

“No, tell me really, who are you? And how are you floating and appear so transparent?”

“I’m telling non other than the truth, stranger, I’m a spirit, a soul without a body, the mind without the brain, I’m what you may call as ghost, I understand all these may be confusing and I’m firmly aware of your non-believing in mythical history and magic due to the catastrophically extinction that wipe out all recording history and memory of my people a thousand years ago”

“Wait… wait… wait… let me get this straight, if not I’ll go nuts… - said Daylen, sitting down and meditating for about five minutes “You are telling me that you are somewhat of a ghost, which means that you can possess people and pass through solid objects… your people had already died a very long time ago because of a magical extinction, so you have been in some sort of hibernation to find a magical sword 2000 years in the future, which is today… something I’m missing?”

“Nothing, except that a monstrous power will be reawaken in a couple of hours, claiming this land as its own by force, and the hero with the magical sword will protect this land against anything.”

“I’m out, nice meeting you, but I’m off to see a doctor, I’ve probably ate something in bad taste and now I’m hallucinating weird complicated stuff, so see ya.” said Daylen walking right to the school’s exit.

“Oh, so you still don’t believe my existence, would a hallucination do this?” - as Alma possessed Daylen’s body once again, and started talking via his mouth – “I am a stupid, stupid stranger, and I don’t believe in anything related to history or life’s destiny”

“Okay… okay you are real,” said Daylen after Alma left his body “so you are looking for a sword, well best wishes for you, I hope you find it, and see you never ghost, it was terrifying meeting you”

“Wait a moment, stranger, I need the assistance of a future resident to help me localize my mythical weapon” said Alma

“Well isn’t this your lucky age, cause there’s like a billion other “future residents” that’d be honored to help, but as for me, goodbye”

“No, but I need the help of someone who already knows my motives here” said Alma, trying to keep Daylen in the same spot where they met

“I don’t get how that concerns me, you can tell that stupid tale of yours to anyone and they would probably buy, I mean it’d be difficult to buy something like that because of how bizarre and crazy it is, but you may find that there’s some crazy people out there,” said Daylen in a somewhat sarcastic tone “I’m just a stupid teen, why from literally anybody else in the world would you try to get my help?”

“Because I don’t get much time to re explain my background to another stranger, the chaos could start every second now, I need the aid of someone and fast!” exclaim Alma with a tone of desperation and worrying “And here you are, already filled with information about my existence and mission, I beg of you for your assistance for I promise that after we lay eyes upon the sword, I’ll take it with me and seek my path on my own, and you shall be surly remembered as the passerby who prevented the second extinction”

“I… don’t know, I still have my doubts, but fortunately for you, I think I know of a place where we can get some info about that sword” said Daylen, making Alma explode with excitement

“So this means that you will become And aid of mine?” Asked Alma, as Daylen nodded in an unsure manner “That’s wonderful! Thank you so much for this, stranger! I’ll make sure that nothing troubles or damages you along the way as we regain control of the mythical weapon that shall saves us all”

“Ok, but before we leave, we need to find you a way to not standout from the crowd with your ghostly looks” said Daylen trasspassing his hand around her stomach by accident “oops… sorry”

“Oh, I already have a solution for this problem, stranger, but we are bound to rely of a small container” said Alma glaring the field around them

“Something like a bottle, I think I got one, but why do we need it?” -asked Daylen, seeking for his drinking bottle on his backpack

“Forgot to mention, my proportions varied whenever I’m in contact with liquid objects, if we lay hands on a small container, I will be capable of remain small inside of it”

“If you say so” said Daylen as he revealed a perfectly rounded bottle and filled it with water from the pond “so I just fill it with water and you jump straight to it, and remain of its small size?”

“Precisely” said Alma, preparing to dive inside the bottle, as she did, Daylen put her back in his backpack and part off directly to the library.

“As I have just realize now, stranger, I notice you haven’t presented your name” shouted Alma from the inside of Daylen’s backpack

“Shhh, don’t shout from there, or they’ll think I have someone retained in my backpack,” muttered Daylen “if someone would have the stupidity to think that”

As Daylen arrived at the library and opened the entrance door he laid eyes at the person he least wanted to see at the moment.

“Not sure If you are persistent or right down ignorant and stupid” said Olive Winker, carrying two books at her arms “Don’t dare to win me over with another word, Gallen, I don’t want to hear whatever idiotic reason you gave to Holdensen to make him punish me of being with you not one, not two, but three days per week”

“Guess he has already gave you the memo” “Shut it, from this next Monday onwards, you will play strictly by my rules, if not, I’ll make sure that your life remains as a living nightmare full of hatred and sadness, as you had made mine for sixth months in this place, you sad excuse of a-” just as Olive was stopped, her brown eyes turned all of the sudden to pink “Good grief, this girl has definitely some problems, I can feel her hatred pumping in my… her heart”

“Alma? Is that you? You possessed Olive?” Asked Daylen

“Definitely, I got tired of all her scandal that I decided to give you a hand and shut her up” Said Olive

“Will Olive remember everything you were doing to her body after you leave her?”

“You what I did when I possessed you?” asked Olive, making Daylen to shook his head, for which he replied “Everything was black, kinda like if I just fainted all of the sudden”

“Then she won’t remember anything at all, now may I recall the reason why we are here, to find the location of the Strelitzia Sword”

“Right, If you are indeed correct of saying that the sword most definitely had endured all this ages, then we should find some info of it at the “Archeologic History of Larutan: Facts, Legends and Fantasies” book” said Daylen, after a long digging for the book, they found it and started looking for the mythical sword, until they finally laid eyes upon a picture of it.

“That’s it! That’s the sword!” shouted Olive on top of her lungs, making the librarian do a hand gesture of silence “my apologize… so where is the Strelitzia Sword located?

“Well… according to this, it’s at the Museum of History and Culture of Laturan city, right at the center” read Daylen

“That’s perfect, let’s arrive there at the moment!-” exclaim Olive who was interrupted by Daylen

“Wait… how will you take the sword if you can’t grab solid objects? And I’m definitely sure you don’t want to put Olive’s body drag on to this

“There is where I will certainly require of your assistance” said Olive, who was immediately interrupted by Daylen “No, no, no, I can’t, if you are thinking of possessing someone in making your dirty work, let it not be me, in the case you haven’t noticed, I’m only 15-”

“I don’t see the problem with that, I’m 14 years of age and I’m not scared of doing it” said Olive in a grumpy way “For your knowledge of mythical history, the bravest knights started at the age of 15 and 17, and I don’t recall anyone being afraid of performing enormous challenges for the good of their kingdom-”

“Wait… I got it… Alma, you just need to possess a museum’s guard and ask permission to take the sword with you, lying by saying it will be transported somewhere else” said Daylen

“Are you entirely approved to this strategy?” Asked Olive

“Yeah, I’ll be your guidance, I’ll tell you what to say at any given moment via a Walky-Talky”

“What is a “Walky-Talky”?” Asked Olive, which on Daylen replied “-I’ll explain it in the way, c’mom let’s go”

After leaving the library, and Alma leaving Olive’s body, Daylen and her new spiritual friend went directly to the center of Larutan for their first step of reawaken the StreIlitzia Sword was about to commence.

#story #book #fantasy #knight #comedy #Windsky