#maybe i am a little annoyed bc

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ok one more post because this is driving me literally insane.

#im clawing at the walls. let me out. why are people watching this and going 'yes. nothing is better than this' #like i GET being a fan of a prson and liking everything they put out no matter what. ive BEEN there. #and maybe im a little biased bc ive thought ranboo was a little annoying for a while (like. mid dream smp times) #(<< this is a take that can and will get me crucified btw. i know this. i am simply too angry and tired to care rn) #but you CANNOT . you CANT. look me dead fucking straight in the eyes and go 'yes this is objectively good' #genloss neg #genloss crit

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Being high energy while sick feels insane. Like my brain is telling me I should lay down and rest but is also telling me I should run around in circles and break things.

#i think im getting better tho. i mean i still can feel my warped sickyness but idk my hormones maybe have me all fucked up #but like i told my mum i get these insane little hypomanic-esque episodes and she was immediately like could b ur hormones #i know a number of ppl like that. and i was like YES. thats obviously what it is but nothing comes up when i try to google things abt it #so there must b others out there. and it also implies that theres sometimes fucked up about my serotonin receptors bc when im like kinda #positively disregard i feel happy and i never feel happy. my typical emotional state is indifferent and apathetic #and then dips into light misery and very miserable but not like clinically depressed. but i was even like that while on vacation so even #removed from the stresses in my life i still am not happy. which is y its so hard when ppl r like do what makes up happy. relax #and im like. ok but like nothing works??? its either fucked up hormones or my lantent anxiety just keeps me from being happy #but whatever. im gathering so much data. when i go see a doctor im gonna pull out a spreadsheet and graphs and notes like a lunatic #bwahhh i wanna run. i have too much energy. fuck being sick. fuck having to work on a day off. fuck this #also fuck my menstrual cycle for being so short. like so short its sometimes not listed with the healthy range but only sometimes #just to make me think. i should probably talk to a doctor but. like its probably fine. its consistent so its fine #annoying. annoying. got u can tell when out of wack bc i post too much and cant shut thr fuck up lol #unrelated

[sunburnacoustic]

No post-gig IG post from Muse after Rock Werchter. Silence from photographers too. They’re not pleased about what happened last night huh.

#Even JAR didn’t post any pics after the show #Although he just posted a vague pic a very short while ago of him editing some footage so idk maybe there’s more admin to getting #Festival footage cleared or something? I don’t know. Anyway no posts from Muse in a first in a long time. #Hope they don’t let it get them too down like. Maybe some people at a festival crowd didn’t recognise Showbiz but Muse fans #I’m sure really appreciated the thought they put into it!!! #Plus they’re professional and reasonable folks; they would know there’s not much they can do about stuff that’s beyond their control #Suspect it was a curfew thing— you run over and there are timed things that take half your rig’s power out? #Can’t recall most festivals bc we haven’t seen them but iirc last year at Rock Am Ring too they ran over slightly #Again into KoC but they were allowed to finish smoothly. I wonder if that’s something Muse are annoyed about? #To my knowledge never in 25 years of Muse has a song been restarted twice in the same night so there’s that. #They’re usually excellent at running a tight set. #Anyway I hope we’re able to get the point across to them that we loved them and last night’s show was great! #And Showbiz was very welcome too <3 #muse band #muse #rock werchter 2023 #alsp the thing is Muse do Rock Werchter almos every single year so I imagine not having had trouble with them in 23 years past #Is probably annoying them a little. A matter of trust etc. Anyway it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay. It was genuinely a great set #Matt’s voice sounded exceptional last night #muse live

[plexippusangel]

I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.

#faer personal files #i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming #also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of #ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess #but i don't think that's the case #idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up #from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off #and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try #if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that #i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability #but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong #and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21 #or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart #bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times. #and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!! #and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine #but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart #like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like #no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can #and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going #too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa #more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around #idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian #but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the #FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on #anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.

[skitskatdacat63]

Had to fix my sleep schedule for Monaco, right? And I'm like ah I should probably continue on like this bcs of Spain and then after that I'll have to have a normal sleep schedule for actual reasons. But then I somehow just ended up going straight back to being nocturnal again after Monaco ended 🫠

#i stayed up 20+ hours on sunday...... #sometimes i get tired sometimes i just dont so ???? #and i meant to fix it today but then oops! look! its 6 am #i mean not to brag but i really have no issues at all adjusting my sleep schedule #like i truly have barely any circadian rhythm #(probably bcs for years on end ive frequently went back and forth from being normal to being nocturnal) #but at the same time im still like a little annoyed maybe just a bit but #the heart wants what it wants and what my heart wants on break is to live like a feral nighttime creature #catie.rambling.txt

[pepprs]

ok mutuals i know this is cringe i am so aware and i am so sorry. but this is my…………………… warrior cat oc who represents me (i am so so so so sorry. i am so sorry.) and im doing some tweaks to her design rn and i can’t decide whether she looks better with or without this like spiky cheek fluff that’s supposed to make her face look more starlike. so what do u think. vote now on ur phones (without fluff on the left, with fluff on the right)

#my art #i have been doodling this silly little cat all over the place for almost 10 yrs btw. and i VERY much suffer from same face syndrome with #both cats and ppl and ive been trying to add like unique variations and stuff when i draw but it’s rly hard. (also ive been getting back in #into drawing if u couldn’t tell. i straight up stopped when i was in college bc i just couldn’t function and this was not the thing i #thought i would come back to once i got out of school but here i am swimming in warrior cats stuff again at age 23 💀💀💀) BUT ANYWAYS. i am #adding butterfly and star motifs to this character who is also me. like u can see her ears are kinda wobbly bc they’re supposed to be shape #like butterfly wings! but the star thing isn’t as evident so I thought maybe the cheek fluff would be nice but then it’s like.. the ear #wobble is already a change and im just worried i will forget the cheek fluff when i doodle her and stuff. ive been rly lenient w how i draw #fluff on cats and stuff and i want to get better at it but i feel like i’ll annoy myself if i mess around w it. but it looks good and is #symbolic so idk 😭 ofc like i would be the best judge of this bc I know what my comfort level is and stuff but … do u like the fluff is what #im asking i guess. and do u think i should carry it forward and make it a thing even if it takes a while to get used to #purrs #i feel so cringe posting my warrior cats characters but idk. it’s my blog i get to post whatever i want so this is what im posting 🤸🏻‍♀️ #ALSO plus when i doodle i already majorly simplify her markings so it’s just the freckles. and the markings im whatever about but i feel #like the physicality is really important smth i would always capture no matter how intense the drawing is and smth i kinda want to #challenge myself to get better / more consistent at a little bit. so yeah. idk #pepe

[ukulelegodparent]

Kicking, screaming and crying bc I need to do tasks

#the world is cruel and unjust also I was gonna go buy groceries #but the list is long enough that it's worth taking the trip to Kaufland however. #I forgot the tram workers are on strike so no trips to Kaufland for me today bc i sure as hell am not gonna walk #through half the city with my 10kg of groceries or whatever #deeply annoying. anyways now i have no excuse to not continue cleaning #though honestly i can be very proud of myself BC I've really been very productive these last few days so a little pat on my back for me :) #but i really must remember that i shouldn't plan to do as much tomorrow #like tomorrow i think I'll get groceries and meal prep a little and maybe do some laundry and then I'll call it a day #oh and bring aways the glass #but yeah

[bunnyb34r]

Well glad to know I'm not the only one not feeling the Christmas season this year. Mom isnt either

Now we dont know why, but here are my guesses. Feel free to place your bets.

Is it:

Bc our aunt/great-aunt died and essentially dissolved the family

|_> Bc of this we've faced so much bullshit from the surviving family we have left.

Bc the only remaining family we have are major assholes aside from like 4 people.

Long covid?

Work stress/ working under a tyrant piece of shit.

Bc I'm an adult now so the *magic* is gone?

All of the above??

#marquilla #we still havent made cookies and are like i want the cookies but i dont want to make the cookies... #so we agreed we can do it after christmas if need be #i really think it's all of that combined. like my g-aunt dying really tore this family apart. we weren't like close close before but i mean #everyone started taking sides (the executors (my mom) vs my cousins. like listen you motherfuckers she left you [insert number bc i also #got this amount and am not disclosing]. you little freaks need to get over the fact that she loved me as much as if not more than you. #maybe bc i wasn't a fucking entitled brat and was always a polite well behaved child (for her) and didnt take my mommy/daddy issues out on #her. you already got: 2 free cars. 3 fully paid for weddings. 4 college degrees (one that you're not even using bc you havent worked since #college bc you became a tradwife. (not dissing stay at home moms im dissing her making college a BIG DEAL for her and then just #essentially saying haha thanks for the 100k in tuition but no ❤). COUNTLESS hours and money poured #into your lives from her and our g-uncle. amongst the 4 of you. (only 1 is not a brat but thats bc they pretend she doesnt exist bc shes #annoying and autistic so a drain on them they were ever so happy to dump on their dad) #you aren't entitled to any of that. that was a GIFT. your inheritance was well thought out. it is an insult for you to suggest otherwise #anyway so theyre being whiny brats and oh boo hoo you exects are SO MEAN to poor Ally who didnt sign the fucking will and thus held up #$50k FROM A CHURCH. and my uncle (not their dad. their moms brother) is taking their side. his wife is a massive piece of shit ab it too. #dont know whose side dog cousin is on bc shes close to my mom but very close to them. and i know lesbian cousin is on moms side to some #degree. and idgaf what Murderer cousin thinks bc that bitch can and will rot in hell. #so anyway any one we could possibly spend time with this season is either dead or hates us. or lives states away and won't be in til after #and only for a day anyway. and we just dont have the fucking energy to deal with anything

[heybaetae]

.

#i've been in a manic state for over a month #haven't slept in my own bed for 30 days #was barely eating/sleeping the first half and now i'm eating/sleeping too much #i was even off twitter for two weeks which is so hilariously unlike me #said i was taking a gif hiatus because my brain was so unhealthy #then turned around and started making/posting MASS amounts of gifsets (published and drafted) for very little payoff #like. More often than i usually do to the point where i feel like it's overwhelming or annoying or looks desperate but hey maybe i am #for the serotonin #except nobody reblogs shit which. Well you know how that goes #it is what it is but it's also making me feel so so so low #but i can't stop either because it's the only thing keeping my brain off of everything #i also recorded that voiceover video of my gif process but i don't think i'm gonna post it because i hate my voice and my overall Being rn #and publishing something like that would be inviting literally anyone to have a negative thought or opinion of my voice or my personality #which is a big No Thank You atm #even tho i have nice followers i also have total dickwads waiting to jump me lately for the stupidest shit lol #so the timing is just bad bc everything else is bad my mental health is bad my self esteem is bad #my gifs and the engagement on them is pretty bad without me reblogging them 50 times myself but we ball #it's all just!!!! it all feels Bad i just want to feel sane lol

[kuiinncedes]

asjfbcdndbd

#bruhhh is it bad that i #my friend keeps texting me like ‘how are you doing’ / ‘how are you’ which like i appreciate it #but she does it so often and idk why i’m lowkey a little annoyed by it #which sounds so bad and sndbfjdhdhdj god like i’m grateful that she #makes the effort to reach out bc i used to never feel like anyone would reach out to me #and i’ve told her that so maybe that’s why idfk #but idk like she asks me almost every day/every other day and i’m just like djfjdjdjd #miss girl ily but pls my answers not gonna change lmfao 😭 #i’m not doing shit how i’m doing isn’t interesting i’m also like not gonna tell u #that like i’m bored af of my life rn i’m tired i need to fucking create sm or do some fucking art soon or imma lose my mind a little #i’m just fucking chilling i’m not doing anything interesting i’m literally just fine lmao #like i’m just chilling like the last 10 times u asked 😭😭😭 #idk idk 🤡 she asked me tonight and then said sm else so i answered the other thing and ignored the hru lmao #but then after the conversation abt the other thing she asked me hru again :’) #idk if any of this makes sense LOL i also feel bad abt complaining abt it 😭 #idk WHY i’m lowkey annoyed by it. maybe i’m so fucking used to friends not reaching out to me #that her doing this makes me hhfhjfjdhfhffj lmao #like yeah i ofc love her texting me i just don’t wanna answer hru so many times lmao and ik i could tell her that or like ask why she asks #how i am so much but i don’t want to c: #ANYWAY LEMME ANSWER HER LMFAO GIRL #🤡 anyway also yeah i need to like start drawing sm or do a lettering thing soon #:D #jeanne talks

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk #a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor #i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus #idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control #ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough #i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better #which is. ya kno understandable but not great #idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain #and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words #i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i #felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care #set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything #and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this #extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i #look forward to never having to think abt it again. #whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over #just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present #annoying. ugh i need to sleep. #unrelated

[nomaishuttle]

the way that literally every aspect of the horse ranch expansion pack either was covered by/shouldve been included in a different pack. Lol.. horses shouldve been in pets or cottage living sheeps and goats shouldve been in cottage living the build style is cottage living and strangerville the clothing style is cottage living and strangerville likeee. the world is pretty but its also ely similar to some of the other worlds we have. and nectar making is a completely seperate skill from that juice skill or whatever. IDK

#the fact theyve managed to stretch out a Basic pets pack into like. 4 different packs basically. lord almighty. #cats and dogs + my first pet stuff + cottage living + horses literally all couldve been one pack. maybe not cottage living but likee. idk #obv soesnt rly matter 2 mebc Brother im not wasting money on this game ! im pirating it lol. but yk #i am also once again annoyed to see ppl being like omggg i hate how little is included in this its supposed to be an expansion pack... #but im buying anyways bc i lovee horses/i like the bb/i like the world/well i have every other pack #like im gonna be real kys. pirate it. this is the reason sims 5 is gonna be what it is. bc you guys will be like omg nooo this pack is so #bad AND STILL PAY FULLPRICE FOR THAT SHIT!!! #why would they put in any fucking effort into making a game playable or fun in any way when you ppl will pay them for shitting and smearinh #it on the wall #i also. like that theres more indigenous representation but also imo it feels kind of like. not at all fleshed out. i like the hairstyles i #like the townies but idk ... not rly my place 2 say im just like. sideeying it a little biy

[run-down-that-dream]

#so. funny story bc I want to be a little melodramatic right now and I've earned it #this became one of my favorite songs back in 2018 ? maybe 2019 ? and it has been since #tom was not even a thought in my mind at that point in my life #when I found it. I had no idea #I loved stevie. she led me to tom. but not YET #but there's THIS. mike was right there this whole time akdhjsjs #and sometimes I wonder if we're kinda. Meant to find these people. our favorite people y'know #I didn't get that it was him back then but I figured it out through tom eventually. and you know what? #I couldn't be more grateful #I literally cannot express how grateful I am that I found him lol #so when I'm in the tags like aaaa I love him. and being totally annoying about it. (don't sugarcoat I know I am) it's REAL. #his music has been there for me and is more reliable than anyone I've ever actually met and I love it #and I'm just now realizing how much more his music has been there for me without me even realizing it at the time #ANYWAY. he's also possibly one of the most talented people ever in the world and no I don't take criticism on that #and it makes me sad sometimes that I don't really have a lot of people anymore to share that with #seems like once I stopped posting about tom all the time my blog kinda. died #so. I've been getting a little bit frustrated about it being the tom show around here #and I'm sorry if that ever came across or made anyone uncomfortable. not my intention at all #I just took it all a little too personally when I shouldn't have #kind of an.. isolating experience tho #aaand I don't remember where else I was going with that but enjoy the song akjshdjs #it's really good 💞 proud of my favorite guy #(as always 🙈) #did I mention most talented ever? #ok shhh I'm done

[nyxi-pixie]

the most important thing abt noah coming out is that the people going 'hehe how does our fav strAIGHT frat boy play that fucking gayass so well??😱😱' had to stfu😁👍

#its annoying when people do it abt anyone tbh #that was so fucking irritating lmfaoooo #me omw to remind the masses of hets and chronically online 12yr old queers whove never met a gay person irl that we're not a monolith🤩 #it doesnt escape my notice that yall say it more violently the second anyone so much as iMPLIES that they mighy not be straight #'speculating is bad' yes! but shockingly! yelling to the moon + back that them being not straight is impossible is not the best alternative #and perpetuates every dumbass stereotype #im so tired #also if you say hey maybe stop insisting theyre str8 for no reason every 5 seconds for a cheap joke abt the queer character they play #then everyone immediately is frothing at the mouth holding a chainsaw to ur throat #def not indirecting anyone w this😟 #i dont even remember who it was but someone was always putting those stupid noah straightest man in the world jokes on my dash #n i just used to stare at them like holy shit u guys are gonna be shocked when u encounter gay ppl outside of the internet. #my tags ran away from me again #but i hope u guys Hear Me on this shit bc this happens w every celebrity ever #and then ppl turn around and pretend the problem was ppl thinking they might be queer #instead of ppl refusing to believe theyre anything other than straight #anyway. #am a little late to posting abt him i know😔 have been so ia here recently but i saw it when it happened and am vv proud of him #<33 just to get a little of track at the end here #but yeah hes lovely and i wish people who were insisting he was straight would understand him as an examole that gay ppl arent all the same #but they wont cos they immediately turn to going 'omgggg our fav slayqueen i always knew hehehehe he just looks so fruitsalad' #heed my warnings i am a conduit of rage and violence and one day im going to use it on those ppl #oh fuck this was so many tags i am an unrestrained tag menace #a tennis if you will #aha like the game #anyway #byler #(<- it isnt but this is where i was seeing 'Straight Frat Boy Noah could never be gay' posts so.) #(not most of you tho<333 just a few) #right im going back to reading this 700k word fic from another fandom when will i return to tumblr?? who knows. not me

[patheticgirlsteve]

i really love gareth pov fics

#that's my guy #my little mouse fellow #also they're all so good #maybe i should try to write one #adding that to my list #anya.txt #SORRY IF I'M BEING ANNOYING BTW #i don't think i am. but it's hard to tell bc i am on drugs #ok bye

[svtskneecaps]

BEGGING for your soulmate!dino fic 😭🙏 the other soulmate svt fics were AMAZING and im patiently waiting for my bias 😌 do you plan on releasing it soon?

much love~~ ❤️

love of my life i wish i were but this series has been so flaky in terms of inspiration i have no genuine idea when it's gonna happen, could be later this month or could be in a year i wish i knew my love. if i remember rightly my plan was to end the series with dino, since his thing was about making history and genuinely this soulmate series was the first damn thing i posted on this blog and i swear to you someday it'll be finished but i'm so sorry love i have no idea when that will be alfkskskdjsj

#shut up vic #plus like even when i was writing i think the woozi one? think he was most recent #it just felt so Different from the rest of the series #maybe it was dk too i don't remember exactly #but yknow this series has been going since i was in high achool and that was a damn long time ago #so there were issues w that when i was writing the more recent ones #like the style felt so different that before and it annoyed me a little #bc i still want it to feel like the same series but MAN i am worlds different than i was when i posted seungkwan's #which is in equal parts fun and terrifying but yea idk when i'll ever get to it #:((( sorry my love <3 #honestly u probably don't have to strikethrough patiently if u've waited this long to send an ask that's incredibly patient of you #like shit man it's been actual real years i'll call that patient dw