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monsterfanfic · 7 years

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Chapter 01: Lost and Found

From the computer to the board. From the board to the computer. The motions continued. Ms. Martin stood in front of the auditorium sized classroom, speaking on cells and DNA as the two smart boards behind her displayed everything the Professor stated. Naturally Eva found herself looking over notes, making sure every key detail was taken down. Most of this would be reviewed once labs started, so no need to stress over it. Besides, this is Eva's third year taking a science course under Professor Martin. By now the professor's antics were memorized. Hopefully, anyways. Shifting to the right, Eva arched an eyebrow as she faced her roommate and best friend since freshmen year at New York University, Kelly Griffin, as the two clearly had different outlooks when it came to Martin's class. Leaning back in the cushion seat, Eva crossed her arms, plainly giving Kelly her attention. "What?" Kelly whispered, but her lack of knowledge as to why Eva was looking at her, proved the point as to what the real reason was by itself. "We will have a test in two days, Kels." "I know. I don't need to write notes for everything she says to pass. Besides, are you going to even remember half of that shit by Friday?" "Maybe not," Eva responded honestly, making them of both smirk. "At least I'm trying though." False hope was more than nothing at all. At least its giving the chance to succeed. Instead of completely ignoring everything by being on Amazon searching for phone cases.

"Trying my ass. I rather do it my way then play with my own emotions." It was the same petty discussion every time. They both believed in different rituals. Rituals that had served both of them over their years. Kelly has been a last-minute study person her life, while Eva believes if you continue to go over the material it has no choice, but stick to you. "So, what? You’re going to spend damn near a hundred dollars on what? Five phone cases, a new screen protector, and.......a lightening phone charger? Really, Kels?" "What? I need this stuff. Do you know how hard it is to do my make-up, listen to music while trying to charge my phone, which by the way, has a shortage?" Eva couldn't master up a response. For one that was bizarre, yet expected. Kelly had no need for any of the objects in her online shopping cart, but it's what makes her happy. So, either she'll buy them now or she'll just give her doctor of a father the task of doing it later. These two are from two different lifestyles, but that's what keeps their friendship evened out. Their differences became a balance. Most importantly she didn't have too much time to respond because in just that short timing an Pop Quiz was being displayed on the two smart boards. Sighing, Eva closed the laptop, putting everything away and dropping her phone down by her bag. With only her notebook and pencil out, she headed her paper properly; waiting until Professor Martin flipped the screen to the quiz itself. Kelly looked up, not an inch of surprise crossing her face. Instead she rose an eyebrow at her beloved friend and went back to her shopping. Which most did. Pop quizzes were a bare minimum of only five percent of the class overall grade; in Martin's. Eva wouldn't take her chances however. Besides, passing these quizzes is known to help Martin lighten up on the red pen during grading. In a matter of seconds, Eva went from wanting to smack some sense into Kelly to starting with her first written response answer to an DNA cell related question of a total of five. It would take her the rest of class to finish these questions because of how much detail was expected from each student. By the time Martin's infamous timer went off, Eva was finishing her last sentence. "Time's up. Drop your papers off on your way out, I'll have them graded by Monday after your test. Have a nice day." Ripping out the paper from the ridged ends of the notebook, Eva dropped it and her pencil in her book bag before getting up and following Kelly down the stairs. Together the girls joined the crowd leaving the science related building and into the fall breeze of the October weather. The hurricanes and unbearable heat was finally over, while Eva's favorite seasons start to take over. The changing of leaves, from heat to warm and cool temperature drop lower. Meaning the chance to pull out all her favorite clothes. Sweaters, hoodies, thigh-high boots that were brought during the summer while on fifty-percent off sales, long sleeve shirts whether button or pull overs, and baseball caps even. The weather of love and fashion. "We should go out tonight." Bringing herself out of her head, making up possible outfits with future shopping trips, that may not even happen; Eva looked at Kelly, who was digging in her bag like a crazy woman. Maybe for her phone. The girl wouldn't live without it if you paid her to do so. While, Eva could leave hers unattended for days if she wanted. "I don't know, Kels." "Why not?" Snapping her head into Eva's direction, Kelly finally stopped digging in that damn bag. "What do you honestly have to do better? Study?" "No, sleep." "Bitch," Eva laughed at her response, walking the path to Kelly's next lab. "How about you resend those pictures for the note packet in Steven's class and give yourself some time to rethink that decision? Its free tonight if we're there before 11. And neither of us have classes tomorrow." Sighing, Eva went to her pockets then to her bag. Coming up short on both ends. Of course. She forgot her phone when dropping it beside her bag right before the quiz. Professor Martin would have a class in less than ten minutes and even though she had no fancy iPhone, that Note 7 would catch the eye of anyone worthy of wanting it. Including her nosy professor. "I forgot it......" "Really, Ev? That's like the third time you've done that." "I know," Stopping Kelly from walking backwards, Eva held her hands up, declining the offer. "I'll go. You head to class, I'll send the notes before you get there so you can have them up before he starts." Not wasting a second, both of them split ways and Eva retreated their steps back to the building so many of her classmates had just piled out of. It sounds different, even felt different when walking into the silent hallway. The doors of Martin, Williams, and Mr. Elza's classes were open for the next group of students, thankfully none of them stood outside waiting, attempting to start up conversations. Eva didn’t plan to stop until she was entering the class, and that’s, thankfully, how everything planned out.

"I know what you're here for." Sighing, she shook her head, walking into the class. Of course, Martin was a sticker for cleanliness, time, and most importantly someone paying attention. Eva should've known her fear of someone else getting her phone would be nothing compared to Martin getting her hands on it herself. "I'm sorry," Eva mumbled, but was cut short from an intruder's voice coming from the opposite side of the room. Her phone only inches away from where the man stood. "Good, because I don’t plan on wasting much more time." He responds, his eyes fixed on the phone and then to Martin. Conforming what Eva thought; neither of them cared that she was even here. Honestly, Eva was too caught up in the secret guest to care why she came back. Call her nosy, but it was surly interesting. His voice was all male. Deep, masculine, raspy, and commanding all the attention in every corner of the room with each syllable oozing from those pink, plump lips. His attention was solely on the class room, taking in every detail as if it was his first time being here. The tone of his voice betraying that thought. Eva kept her distance, easily slipping out the doorway of the class from their visual, but definitely close enough to eavesdrop on the conversation. She's never known Martin to have such a secretive life. The woman had sense the sexy stranger before he even spoke and did so with so much ease that Eva knew this wasn't the first and if she didn't have whatever this predator wanted, it wouldn't be the last. "I haven't gotten my hands on it yet." "That's not what I want to hear. It’s been almost two months, Vivien." "Yeah, well it’s not the easiest task here, East." Dropping her famous red pen, Ms. Martin looked up who Eva could now call East. "Especially when you're not trying." The low rumble of Rihanna's singing Consideration caught the conversation, cutting through the tension filled room. Eva sighed in relief, after a second of silence she peeked into the class. Her eyes darting in the direction of her phone once she saw the screen lightening up against the tiled floor. "I'll be back." The next second his tattooed hand was covering the phone. Eva's eyes trailing the lengths of his arms, both filled of drawings, cartoons, words which she couldn't make out, and random things that her eyes couldn't concentrate on. East heading at her. His long legs getting him across the class, past a terrified Martin, and to Eva in seconds. Now, she sees him. The man's arms and neck covered in tattoos also the only places she hadn't saw where the areas his black Tommy Hilfiger shirt hid. One even right above his right eye the lone word "Mugga" traced cursively. The scruffy beard and low eyes made her back into the red painted wall behind her. His height causing Eva to tilt her head up. "Yours?" East holds out the oversize Tinker Bell phone case holding the Samsung device, his raspy voice low as if he's not interested in anyone else hearing their conversation. Maybe he isn't. Eva looked at the phone, then to his fingers. Each finger having the letters: E A S T written on each one. The name was obviously popular. East Harlem. The hint of an Spanish roll to his tongue. "Mines." It was a stupid, stupid response, but the best she could come up with. There's something about a young girl when she's in the presence of a commanding, handsome, and older man that’ll make her act a fool of herself. Grabbing the cell phone, Eva checked her screen for any scratches or cracks, fortunately for her today was the lucky day. The sound of a low chuckle caught her attention and she looked up to see East shaking his head at her, the sight of a perfect smile staring back at her. "Be careful." And then he was gone.

"I cannot believe I let you talk me into this bull." Eva's voice radiated through the dorm room. Her freshly painted nails tracing the leather material of her sleeveless crop top down to ripped jeans hugging her thighs and hips. For the past two hours, she's been in and out of clothes. From one hanger to the next as each fell to the comforter on her bed. Giving into the idea of clubbing with Kelly wasn't a fight. She knew from the second she asked, they'll be going together. For one, there's the buddy system which they live by. Secondly, it was Wednesday. Fox in Brooklyn was free until whenever every Wednesday night. She wouldn't miss another weeknight outing. "Please." Looking over at Kelly, Eva shot her a look before grabbing her make-up case and heading to the bathroom that separated their room and the girls next door. Surprisingly, neither Eva or Kelly have introduced themselves to their suite-mates. Maybe if this was their freshmen year, yeah. But now at their junior years, it's a no go. Kelly isn't everyone’s number one, anyway. From her ties with Wall Street moguls through her father, expensive taste in clothes, shoes, and even food. Plus, her loud mouth. Few chose to deal with Kelly Griffin. While Eva simply never makes time for any of it. "Momma Reed calling you, Ev!" Plugging in the flat iron, Eva made sure the heat was appropriate before leaving out the bathroom and back to her bed where the flashing phone laid. Luckily, Kelly answered the phone call or she would've been stuck with another river flow of missed calls and voicemail. "Mama." She took the call back into the bathroom, leaving Nicole Reed on speaker as she parted her wavy hair into sections to straighten. "Eva, I called you earlier after your afternoon class. Did something happen? You're okay?" "No, momma. Everything is fine, I just got busy with some papers and a class project," And most of my day was spent thinking of a man who is has an DANGER sign nailed into his chest. "I saw your call, but I just figured I could call you later on." “You know I worry about you, Eva. Later on isn't promise, sweetheart." Nicole Reed is an dear woman. She loves hard and means well, but what Eva has learned over the years is her mother has dealt with many misfortunes. Situations that have left tarnished memories in her and burned her joy. Eva only knows of only one disaster that could leave a mother so hurt and scared. Her oldest brother Nick Rita disappeared during the early 2000s, not once showing any signs of worry or hurt to their mother. Eva thought the idea of her mother losing her first born would keep them settle. Just in case, Nick ever showed up again. Instead, they ran months after he disappeared and haven’t been back to Atlanta since. From house to house, neighborhood to neighborhood, state to state, and even out of the country once where they called Europe home a year. Nothing helped the trouble soul. Eva knew after some time her mother was going crazy. Or at least losing it. The late whispers of monsters, Nicole mumbling low words with the lone name Nick catching Eva's attention each time. "Mom, I'm okay. You worry about me too much." "For God's sake, Eva, you went to New York. Of course, I do. You're in danger's plate." Monsters live. Her favorite words. "Ma......" Trailing down the pieces of hair, Eva was half way finished and decided that some lipstick and a quick fresh face would be the perfect look for the night. "I'm fine. I'm promise, but......I gotta go, ma. I'll call you tomorrow afternoon. Love you." Pressing the red button on her screen, Eva watched the picture or herself and her mother disappeared as her phone log appeared. "Same ol'?" Eva nodded at Kelly's question before grabbing a rubber hair tie and parting the top of her now straighten jet black tresses. Making a ponytail before fixing it into a high-top knot. "If same ol' is another way of saying crazy? Yes, same ol'." "Your mother is passionate, Eva. You'll be glad to have her one day."

Those words weren’t as effective as the first time she heard them, but, still forcing Eva to drop her arms and look at the back of her best friend as she walked out the bathroom. Not for too long, but she did dwell on the thought. Of course, death is in everyone's plans, but doesn't make it any easier to accept. Does Nicole drive her crazy? Yes, but, she's her mother. That’s what expected. Besides they do say mother knows best.

She stills remember telling her mother that she would be attending New York University. Being accepted mostly from graduating top ten of her high school class. Most parents would die in happiness, trying to make sure the funds would be there for the child's admission just in case FASFA caused any headaches. They'll make sure that the trip there and picking of dorms for their child or children would be an enjoyable and memorable time. Very few would be complaining and crying for the child to change their minds. Nicole hated every second of the process. Always finding a way to make sure she was getting into Eva's mind. So far, she's done so, just instead, Nicole is pushing her in the opposite direction.

"I need some of this!" Eva shouted over the music playing. She knew the song from riding with Kelly, but the artist's name wouldn't pop up for nothing. For the past three hours, this has been their sanctuary. From forgetting about test, notes, quizzes, homework, papers, or projects. Even overprotective mothers and handsomely scary strangers. Everything that wasn't club talk was like speaking Creole to both Eva and Kelly. All they wanted for tonight was some peace. Away from the dorms of NYU and to the place of where normal teenagers relaxed and enjoyed their weekend-like Wednesday night. "Here," Kelly handed over the cup to Eva, the sound of a sudden gasp and a frown meet Eva soon after. Beside Kelly and Eva, there was a man. Standing at about six feet even, dressed in all black. Eva hadn't notice him before maybe because she spotted her friend across the club with a cup and with only one of them holding the fake ID to be old enough to drink; she didn't care to pay attention to anything else. Taking a gulp of it, Eva went to hand it back, but Kelly waved her off motioning to have to have it. Nodding, she excused herself from the small moment her friend and the grim keeper were having and finished the shot within seconds. Tossing the cup away, Eva went outside, past the bouncer who she remembers Kelly calling Devin and outside to the coolness of the late-night air. She wasn't so sure of going back in. What she expected the drink to do; cool her off, give her dehydrated body some liquids. It seems to have done the opposite. Maybe it's the fact it's Hennessy. Regardless, she needed to be away from the loudness, heat, and intoxicating scent of weed the inside of the club provided her with. It takes all of ten minutes for Eva to realize that she was either a low tolerance person or worst and she was drugged. It couldn't be though. It just had to be that in that small shot of Hennessy, she hit her limit. Kelly wouldn't allow her to drink something drugged. Her body was going into panic mode, but she couldn’t lift a muscle now. Everything was weary. Sliding down the brick wall of the club, Eva dropped her phone between her legs. The wallet case falling open and her debt card and driver license falling out right in front of her. "Fuck...." ‘Deep breaths and keep your eyes open.’ She chanted that over and over before Eva could take control of her posture. Out the corner of her eye, she saw the bouncer moving closer to her, but thankfully for her unalert body he stayed a few feet away as if he was trying to be protective of her. "I got it." That voice. Seconds later that same tattooed hand wrapped around her phone, picking up the cards also in the process, but paying attention closest to the license. "Eva....look up." The sight of the face she had just encountered hours ago meet her glazy eyes. Eva didn't know whether she should be on guard or accept the help because whatever was going on, she couldn't fight alone. But who was he to help? Some stranger. "I need to find Kel." She finally mumbles, her tongue feeling too heavy for her mouth in the moment. This was either happening for a reason or she was in trouble. Out of millions of people in one city how does she run into someone twice, who by the way, she doesn't know, in one day? There was no time to dwell on her thoughts. Before her reappearing guest could answer to her request of finding her friend; everything was gone black on her.

#Dave East FF #Karrueche FF

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simply-shakera · 4 years

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Matter is the Minimum

""Matter is the minimum. Black lives are worthy. Black lives are beloved. Black lives are needed"" -- Jay Urich

If you support the Black lives matter movement then continuous action is required from you. Having a black friend doesn’t make you an ally. Reading one book or taking one anti-black racism course won’t help you unlearn years of problematic behaviour. Posting random Black models on your social media means nothing if you’re not revising your overall business practices.

Then there were those black squares…

"Let’s not turn Black lives matters into Black lives marketing" -- The Black Enterprise

Tuesday, June 2, 2020, we saw millions of black squares flood our social media timelines as the world rallied together in solidarity against anti-black racism and police brutality. I felt proud and encouraged to see such high engagement on a issue that I feel so strongly about. Plus, Black Out Tuesday has started so much healthy dialogue and has been a catalyst for some of the change we are starting to see now.

However, in addition to the positive shifts, we saw lots of performative activism.

Here is an example that affected me directly:

If you’ve been following me, you know that I have been a Titika Active ambassador for years. Recently I have been partnering with them for a quarantine social media campaign. I am the only Black creator on team and although (till this day) one of my video’s has the highest engagement, my content has only been feature twice.

Moving on, Titika was also one of the many brands that posted a black square on their social feeds… but guess what they did after that to show their support Black lives? The answer is nothing.

Based on the general tone of their social media and the fact that I was the 1 of 3 Black faces that were seen on their social media since Dec. 2019, I knew i had to observe their action after “stance” on Black Out Tuesday. After days of their silence I decided to message Titika in their IG comments; the screen shot of my question is below. They responded with the most disappointing response followed by posting an unsolicited photo of my friend Julia to prove they are “making a difference”. The nerve. She let them have it though, read entire post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBJMD-Bhtma/

After being publicly called out by Julia I received an email from Titika - where they acknowledged how much their response to my comment missed the mark (among other things). I sent them a response on June 9th being very transparent about my experience with the brand and how they could be more inclusive. I have yet to receive a response… and by the looks of their social media, it doesn’t look I’ll be getting one. They have gone right back to their old behaviour and have yet to acknowledge that they are against anti-black racism, value Black lives, or value they’re Black team members, clients or staff.

I share this story for a few reasons:

To demonstrate the level of bullsh*t Black women have to deal with behind the scenes (all the time).

To highlight what performative activism could look like.

Because we must hold people accountable. Even if there’s a risk attached - will you lose a job or friend? Maybe? …but at the end of the day, what’s right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong.

This generation will not remain silent! We cannot turn a blind eye to bad behaviour. NO MORE!

#BLM is more than a hashtag, it’s a movement. ⁠If we are a society that truly wants change, we must look inward and look at our surroundings to truly identify where to do the work. Take a look at the brands that you support. Celebrities you admire. Stores that you shop at. Your friendship circles. Your family at the dinner table. Are they for or against anti-black racism and police brutality?

…now take a look at yourself.

How are you contributing to the change you want to see in the world?

How are you making life brighter for the future generation? Will your current actions put you on the right side of history or the problematic side?

Look around you, then look within. How are you showing up right now? How are you contributing to one of the biggest civil rebellions this world has ever seen.

At first, I had a hard time with this, but the framework below helped guide me tremendously.

My role in the rebellion: A CAREGIVER.

I nurture & nourish the people around me by creating & sustaining a community of care, joy & connection. Carnival Spice has allowed me to complete much of this work. Here is how it began.

For over 5 years as a commercial dancer in Toronto, Canada, I was met with many challenges while gigging, teaching & training. For instance, I lost count of the number of audition castings that were looking for "Female 18-24 Caucasian". IF an "Open Ethnicity" came up, there were hundreds of women trying out for the one available spot. I yearned for community. In most cases, I was always the only black girl booked. Cue the microaggressions, folks trying to touch my hair, & the make up artists not having a foundation in my colour. This hurt & I often wondered why the industry was like this - what could I do to help? I loved what I was doing but often could not relate to many people in the room. It was lonely. Eventually I built the courage to create a community of my own. ⁠

@CarnivalSpice was born in 2013. I created the company to showcase Caribbean Carnival, its culture & its performing artists. It has become a platform where aspiring artists of Caribbean descent can further develop their talents, have access to paid work opportunity & gain support from others in the industry. ⁠This type of work is often met with resistance & stereotypes. However, as a collective, we’ve broken so many boundaries & showed up in spaces where “people like us aren’t suppose to be” - reaching thousands over the years through our social media, programming & performances. Education, connection & representation is the ultimate goal. ⁠

When you see a Black woman start a business, know that it took a lot for her to make that happen. ⁠

We don’t learn our history in schools. We don’t see ourselves represented on television or magazines. We are silenced in the board rooms. ⁠

We are hugely under served in a plethora of markets, rarely credited for brilliant ideas, paid less than our lighter colleagues, misunderstood, ignored & often disrespected. ⁠

STILL WE ARE RESILIENT. We are leaders, innovators, nurturers, advocates for change, critical thinkers, trend setters & so much more. ⁠

Black women are also six times more likely to start a business. We see a need & fill it. We make space that isn’t available to us. We create our own peace & transformative energy. Usually our own cheerleaders, we push ourselves to achieve our dreams… not just because we want to but because we have to. ⁠

It’s been said that if you aren’t offered a seat at the table, then BUILD YOUR OWN TABLE! That’s what I had to do. That’s what we had to do. ⁠

Looking back, when I started my business, I was scared & didn’t know what I was doing. What I did know is that my purpose was bigger than my fear so I had to at least try. ⁠

To my fellow Black female entrepreneurs, I see you, I feel you, I love you. Continue to rise. ⁠

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