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ride-a-dromedary · 5 months

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Alright, the jack in the box is wound, and the coherence is coming to me. Halsin and the dryad, I was talking about his response if the PC indicates that he is most comfortable after a supper large enough to induce hibernation:

"Mindless gorging...? No, that is not right. I did not realize you thought that of me."

And why this keeps catching in my mind is not necessarily what he says, but how he says it (so I am commending Dave Jones' voice acting here). The rest of Halsin's responses to incorrect answers are generally even toned and corrective; firm, usually, but not inherently overly emotional. Much like a teacher correcting a student. But this one...he sounds genuinely surprised and taken aback that the PC would even suggest that. The "no, that is not right" is even firmer on its heels. And the last part...the last part, his voice is smaller. Less forward. I would not go so far as to suggest hurt, but it is approaching that territory. It comes so fast after his firm no, that it almost sounds like something that slipped by accident. Like something that was meant to be muttered under the breath, but it slipped from him because the surprise was so organic.

Alone, it doesn't mean too much. It's a slight offense to an obviously nonfactual statement. And that's likely all it is. I'm about to read too deep into this, I am aware.

But combined with the other things spread throughout Halsin's dialogue, particularly the implication that he is otherwise used to people making commentary on his physical appearance or the physicality of his being, it suggests an extra layer of hurt. An extra layer of: "I did not expect this from you, of all people." Not quite a betrayal, but approaching one.

What makes it particularly catching, is that one of the things you are able to wrench (and I say wrench because getting Halsin to share mundane personal details about himself is a production - and it makes *sense* it's a production if a. We keep in mind that Halsin himself doesn't seem all too sure who he is beyond his preoccupation - which elves are prone to but Halsin also just has...a lot on his plate that have evidently stunted his identity formation - to the point where he even claims he was forgetting who he was, and b. If he is used to questions concerning himself and his experience leading into questions regarding his sex life or his physical activities, see: the companion banter with Wyll and Karlach, he likely...doesn't really keep ready details about himself personally on tap anymore. He's so unused to people being interested in Halsin, that he's taken aback when they are. It becomes the "In the moment, I forget everything and anything I like to do for fun" mentality - no one really cares about what I like to do anyway - if you will. He even goes so far as to joking that the PC may be a doppelganger because *why else would they want to know these things*) out of Halsin when you ask him about himself is that he has a sweet tooth. That he likes honey, and people find that amusing. He chuckles, but his face falls, evidently prepping for the PC to make a similar comment (and he attempts to beat you to the joke about that, though a PC can still call that "on the nose" to which he responds that there is little point in denying oneself if it doesn't hurt anybody - indulging isn't a bad thing). If the PC instead chooses that he should pay little attention to what others think, he gives that infamous: "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt" line. Which implies - regardless of whether he verbalizes it or not - things in this thread hurt his feelings. Comments or assumptions about his body and his person hurt his feelings. He won't say it, but they do. The PC is likely aware of this by this point in the relationship.

Halsin does not otherwise bring up eating or food to any level of significance or directness - the sweet tooth comment was the only time (you could assume outside of canon interactions that they've had other conversations between them and that perhaps this was brought up, but we are going to base this solely in what Halsin reveals in canon). He brings up hibernation, but specifically the sleeping part of it. Nothing else.

So, the PC then potentially goes ahead and makes an assumption of him during the dryad. How'd they arrive at this conclusion, as it obviously surprises Halsin that they did? It reads, very much, that the PC is making this assumption based on the comment about his sweet tooth, his comment on indulgence, and his physicality (note: the ha ha bear and hibernation thing almost seems like an afterthought - Halsin latches *very* quickly onto the "mindless gorging" part). All things that he has shown very evident discomfort (which is ironic because the question is when he feels most comfortable) or hesitance towards (he claims there is nothing wrong with indulgence, but never seems to indulge himself beyond sex, if that. Gee, what does that remind you of?)

Halsin entrusted this individual with this information, as frivolous as it was, potentially revealed that it hurts his feelings when people make assumptions of him, and this individual then went used that information and made the assuming connection: "So, this is a big man. He said he liked sugar, so he must like to eat and indulge. It must be his favourite thing to do because look at him." I am going to essentially ignore everything else I could have possibly heard, and make a bear hibernation joke that has nothing to do with sleeping being a comfort, but emphasize the eating part.

So, yeah, he's a little taken aback - incredulous, you might say. A little hurt. Resigned, almost. Because at that point, you can make a very logical assumption that Halsin came to a very quick snap realization that perhaps this person was not so different from the others as he thought. That it always eventually comes back to that. What else was he expecting? When has it ever been any different for him?

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #does this make sense i don't think it does but it's like...jumping from a - z based on assumption and you know what they say about that #note: this isn't actually this deep i am just making it this deep - also yes i'm aware it probably means none of this #i have a degree in bullshit #but this is also why halsin should have had a legitimate bear like build of a body #i understand why he didn't - but this is *verbatim* what fat individuals receive as assumptions on their person #*all the time* that oh you must overindulge yourself you must eat a lot you must you MUST #and in that thread of thought of halsin's relationship with his body #there's also something to say when halsin says 'my ears are all yours...any part of me is yours should you wish it'#because he *begins* by offering his sympathy and understanding...but follows it up with 'but if i am more valuable to you in this way #then that's fine too - i'm used to that'#almost parallels (inadvertently) astarion's:#'i think i'll enjoy having halsin around not for his wit or wisdom he'll just make an excellent shield if we're attacked'#he's self aware #and in regards to how halsin sees his body as a separate entity - a. body dysmorphia and b. i don't think he truly does #halsin claims he sees his body as a vessel to serve nature and wrinkles his nose at vanity - but i feel there is enough old hurt in him #that this can never be true of him even is he so desperately wishes it was #does he have a level of confidence in himself? obviously he does - but it is marred - it's an exchange #there's always going to be that little voice in the back

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real-life-senshi · 1 year

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PGSM Reinako things I want to yell about, in no particular order (7/∞)

This is actually THE ONE THING that made me start this series of gif set, but it took me forever to put my thoughts into words. But it's finally here and I'm SO EXCITED to talk about it!

Fair warning - this is an essay.

Across the years I've seen many Reinako shippers used Rei following Minako around in Act 19/20 and Act 23 in the live action as proof that Rei has feelings for Minako. While I don't disagree, I do feel Rei being the one to seek Minako out was circumstantial and justifiable because Rei was literally the only Senshi then that knew Minako was Venus. Instead, there was something else both Rei and Minako consistently do to each other for the entirety of the series that I felt had more impact to the narrative of their story, but often get overlooked and not talked about enough, and that’s Minako's act of walking away and Rei's act of staying behind.

The significance of Minako walking away: Walking away or pulling a disappearing act is one of the most common thing we see Minako do, not only to Rei, but with everyone else. (E.g. Such as V walking out on Moon in Act 7, Minako disappearing on Saitou for Senshi business.) It's a recurring theme to help build the impression of elusiveness and secrecy that surrounds Minako's character. But more deeply, the act of walking away is also a device to represent the main issue Minako needed to overcome in her character arc - in prioritizing the past life mission, she was running away from what's most important, herself as Aino Minako. Her Senshi power literally woke after she accepted herself and chose to face the challenge Aino Minako faces, instead of only focusing on the challenges of Sailor Venus.

Now this in itself seems like it's really just a Minako thing, right? Where does Rei fit in?

The significance of Rei's act of staying: PGSM Minako is the the queen of the hot-and-cold behaviour, especially when she's with Rei. And her signature "cold" gesture is walking out on Rei. In fact, as you can see from this gif set, I've counted 14 times where Minako had walked out on Rei on screen in the series, and 4 other times she attempted to walk away but was stopped. Even for the normal person, you'd think when someone keeps pissing you off and runs out on you, your patience would be spent and just give up on them, right?

Now, PGSM Rei is written as the awkward, stubborn and easy to anger teenager. And don't forget, with Rei's backstory fleshed out as much as it did in PGSM, it's basically confirmed that Rei suffered badly from parental abandonment, so it's not much of a reach to interpret Rei's trust issue to be born from acts of someone she cares leaving her behind or showing rejection. And so it should reason that Rei would be doubly pissed off at Minako's seemingly flippant and callous behaviour, and couldn't wait to pass Minako off to Makoto and Ami to deal with once they know Minako is Venus, right?

But no, Rei stayed, every single time.

Despite all the crap Minako threw at Rei and repeatedly rejected Rei's support, Rei didn't react with her usual knee-jerk reactions. This, more than anything else, proves to me that Rei sees Minako as someone special - someone she could not and would not turn away from, even when Minako keeps pushing her away.

These actions forms a very beautiful, and dare I say, romantic narrative to their shared story. Here's why.

PGSM has established that all along Minako had made the conscious decision to not get deeply involved with her teammates for fear she'll end up hurting them when her illness inevitably takes her. In doing so, she boxed herself into a self-imposed isolation as her health worsens and things get tougher.

And yet in Act 11 and Act 17 when Minako met Usagi and then Rei, the narrative revealed to us that loneliness does unsurprisingly overwhelm Minako from time to time. This changed partially though when she accidentally revealed her identity to Rei. In doing so, she gave herself the choice and space to be outspoken with someone who is (at least partially) in-the-know besides Artemis. The fact Minako repeatedly approached Rei in Act 18 was evidence she actually craved the contact when she lets her guard down, to the point even Artemis had to call her out on it. And so, in moments of clarity, we see Minako try to backtrack by pushing Rei away, ie walking out on Rei. The cycle persists, where Minako's behaviour fluctuates depending on her state of mind, her backstory sadly but logically explains Minako's sometimes seemingly-random hot and cold attitude towards Rei.

In contrast to Minako's unreliable and mixed signals, Rei was the definition of stability and certainty in this relationship. Yes, Rei had indeed followed Minako around a few times, but more than that, Rei stayed and was consistently there, waiting to be available for Minako even when Minako didn't want Rei to be. Rei knows when to initiate contact (chase after Minako), but also knows to not push Minako too much too soon, choosing to stay put when Minako is actively pulling back. She lets Minako go most times when Minako walks away, as if patiently waiting to try again another day, hoping the next time will be enough to fully bring Minako's walls down. Rei knew she was in it for the long haul, not for momentary wins.

This back and forth dynamic is a persistent theme in their relationship. It can be perceived that Rei's tenacity and relentless efforts had managed to wore Minako's guard down slowly but surely throughout the series.

Act 20: Minako finally shared Rei was meant to be leader, hinting Rei needs to step in when she’s gone.

Act 36: Minako chose to disclosed the truth about her terminal illness to Rei.

It was only after Act 36, we see Rei being even more persistent and takes drastic measures in attempt to get through to Minako, because Rei realized they were out of time. But even then, their dynamic didn’t really change - Minako being the runner and Rei being the person left waiting, until…

The times their role reversed, the other AMAZING thing about all of this!

Minako walking away and Rei staying is THEIR thing. But has Rei ever walked out on Minako? The answer is yes. But only 2 times! And both times it had significant impact on Minako.

The first time was when Rei ran out to fight the Youma, and that led to Minako being overly worried and end up accidentally revealing her Senshi identity to Rei.

The second time was when Minako finally pushed Rei so much in front of the team, Rei pulled back and walked out in Act 44, reversing their usual roles. And you can tell from Minako's reaction she looked lost and conflicted as she watched Rei leave. Here was someone who had been a rock and pillar of care and support to her, now seemingly giving up on her because she finally shoved too hard. Between Makoto's near miss in Act 45 and the fact that Rei actually walked out on Minako in Act 44, Minako was shocked enough for her to finally listen and process what Rei's been telling her all this time. This ultimately lead to the resolution of Minako's character arc in Act 46.

In conclusion, their action forms a pattern to their story and deepens the meaning behind their choice to follow, stay or walk away from each other. When the pattern is disrupted it adds complexity of their story! Seriously, it feels like Rei's actions was catalyst of Minako's major character story development! Just as many of Minako's story influenced Rei's outlook on their mission and the past life (another post to come!), Rei's action had just as much influence on Minako's eventual character growth. If that doesn't prove these two are special to each other, I don't know what else to say!

Now - you'd think I'm done with my soapbox, right? NOPE. I've only finished talking about how these actions form patterns and the significance in their story. But the visual and filming appraoch of each of these scenes are also very telling. VERY.

Each time Minako walked away, it is intentional that Rei's reaction get highlighted on camera, even in group scenes. As well, we also get really telling reactions from Minako when Rei walks out on her. And that's regardless of which director led the filming.

Sato Takemitsu - Act 17, 18, 23

Takamaru Masataka - Act 20, 26

Maihara Kenzo - Act 40

Suzumura Nobuhiro - Act 43, 44, 47

It suggests either the script writer Kobayashi Yasuko intentionally scripted for Rei and Minako to have the spotlight for reacting to each other's action so all the directors received the same fucking memo about them. OR, even better, it wasn't part of the camera/filming direction, but all the directors have arrived to the same conclusion after reading the script and decided to put the spotlight on these two no matter which episodes they worked on, because the unresolved sexual tension was clear as day for them to see.

And especially Keiko did amazingly on her part portraying Rei’s attraction towards Minako. Regardless if it's a group scene or not, Rei/Mars always had the most expressive and meaningful look on her face when Minako/Venus walks out. Even in Act 22 when Mars was just in the background with Jupiter, you can tell Mars’s eyes and body following Venus’s direction while Jupiter just stands flatly.

Rei/Mars' reaction to Minako/Venus leaving also changes across the series. From frustration/irritation, to hopeful yearning, ending with worried yearning. A reflection of Rei's feelings for Minako, from seeing her an annoying brat of a Princess, to respecting Minako as a mentor, to caring for her as a friend (and maybe more).

And look at this shit!!!!!!!!

Act 20 and 26 were done by the same director. The two scenes are basically parallel to each other visually and artistically, which is also so layered when juxtaposed to the plot point:

Act 20: Minako tells Rei that Rei's meant to be leader, and Rei follows Minako wanting to learn more while expressing concern for her Princess's well being and safety.

Act 26: Mars grown enough to start taking on the leadership, and follows Venus in attempt to invite Venus to integrate with the team now Venus no longer need to play decoy, only for Venus to turn around and claims she's actually the leader and Mars is the substitute.

Lastly, the most beautiful yet absolute worst visual the PGSM directors gave us:

Even the imagery of Minako's passing just as Mars breaks down was of Minako walking away, leaving Rei behind. That shit can't be made up. If the imagery was coincidental, well, that's one hell of a coincidence.

These factors all lead to me concluding PGSM had very intentionally used the acts of walking away and staying behind as recurring theme in Reinako's relationship. The length they went to do this and the tragically beautiful story it gave us forms a much more compelling reason for audience to ship Reinako. In fact, this is the very primary reason why I fell in love shipping them in PGSM.