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alliterative-albatross · 3 years

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So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again.

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise!

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory.

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs,

~ Jay

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notjanine · 3 years

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2020 in books!

the only kind of new year’s resolution i made as a naive baby last january was to try to read 40 books for the year. (i read 37 in 2019, for context.) well, with all of my commuting time eliminated and an increased need for immersive escapism, i ended up surpassing that goal three times over lmao (thanks library ebooks!)

idk how to summarize my year in books in a way that makes sense but

(f) = fiction, (nf) = nonfiction, (p) = poetry.

books that rewired my fucking brain:

braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer (nf)- GOD?!?!?! good. dr. k is right. ostensibly a book about plants, but actually a book about shut up and go outside. consumerism and capitalism are doing their damnedest to fuck you up, but you can just choose to value different things. take care of yourself by taking care of your environment. etc etc.

wasp by richard jones (nf)- lissen. when i got this book, my wasp-phobia was so severe that i had to put it away face down on a high shelf because there are wasps on the cover and i couldn’t bear to RISK even GLIMPSING them. now i am like... a wasp evangelist. (also due to the bugs 101 course on coursera it’s so good.)

wag by zazie todd (nf)- i have a dog, but i am NOT a Dog Person (i.e. i love my dog, but please keep yours away from me, thanks.) this book helped me understand my little guy better, plus it gives actionable tasks and activities to do with and for your pup! plus, y’know, learning about things you’re scared of helps to lessen that fear. i’d recommend this to anyone who has, wants, or regularly interacts with a dog.

a closed and common orbit by becky chambers (f)- is this series complete fluff? absolutely. am i fundamentally different after reading this one? maybe.

the best we could do by thi bui (nf)- this is so far outside of my personal experience but somehow still made me come to peace with my relationship with my mom?? and it’s barely even about that?? idk. this is probably objectively the best book i’ve read this year.

books that were just fun as hell:

mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia (f)- this book made me YELL out loud

death on the nile by agatha christie (f)- i grew up on agatha christie shows, but never actually read her before this year! she really was That Bitch. read this before the movie comes out

cosmoknights by hannah templer (f)- i read this in one sitting through the worst headache i’ve had in years. it is a goddamn DELIGHT. this book has everything: spaceships. mech suits. fighting the patriarchy. a perfect otp. fun art in bright colors with clean lines. onomatopoetic WAPs from before the song gave that hilarious context. 800 lesbians. this is an antidepressant in graphic novel form.

stiff by mary roach (nf)- ms. roach is like the 4th most represented author on my bookshelf because she 1. stays writing about shit i’m interested in and 2. manages to talk about gross and ridiculous things without resorting to sensationalism. it takes skill to write a hilarious book about corpses.

black sun by rebecca roanhorse (f)- excellent sexual tension between a horny siren pirate and a hot doomed... monk, kinda? set in the pre-columbian gulf of mexico with magic and shit.

cuisine chinoise by zao dao (? n/f)- this graphic novel about chinese food history/mythology is BEAUTIFUL.

the color of magic by terry pratchett (f)- you’d think a hardcore douglas adams stan would have gotten to this sooner, but no, i had to date a nerdy white boy to get here. it’s fun though! i’m not gonna read them all, but this one was good. bonus: contains one (1) great himbo.

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir (f)- like 500 pages of action and mystery and jokes and space necromancy. harrow the ninth gets a special mention bc it has a meme reference that took me out so hard i had to close the book, lie down, and groan for an entire minute before continuing.

other minds by peter godfrey-smith (nf)- i love octopuses. on one tma bonus ep, jonny sims says that if a creature can choose to do evil, then it’s a Person. octopuses are People. but anyway frfr this has an explanation of the evolution of consciousness that is cool af. (this one is much better than the other recent popsci octo book which i will not name out of politeness.)

the perfect predator by steffanie strathdee and thomas patterson (nf)- i read this bc my microbiology prof recommended it and it’s cool as heck! it’s got adventure, drama, mystery, Science-with-a-capital-S. i’m biased bc i’m a bit of a microbes nerd, but i had a blast with this. (but only bc we know going in that everything works out okay; if i hadn’t known that, i would have been TOO stressed!)

books that were a little less fun but still very readable:

my sister, the serial killer by oyinkan braithwaite (f)- i couldn’t find this as funny as other people bc i, too, have a beautiful sister who’s an insufferable narcissist, so it hits a little too close to home, but. it is a wild ride.

piranesi by susanna clarke (f)- idek what to say! i went into this one blind just bc it had a cool cover and title, so i guess i’d recommend that for other people too.

the sixth world series by rebecca roanhorse (f)- monster hunting! a post-apocalyptic take that doesn’t feel tired.

the shades of magic trilogy by v.e. schwab (f)- easy escapism. some ideas feel a little first draft-y, but idk, it’s also a pretty simple premise (which isn’t a bad thing). it’s a decent urban fantasy set in ~georgian?-era london. very actiony. suffers from a bit of i’m-not-like-other-girls disease, but i didn’t even notice until book two or three, so.

the only good indians by stephen graham jones (f)- starts off a little ??? (and reeks of being Written By A Man) but picks up. the pacing’s great and there’s just a super fucking cool monster.

robopocalypse by daniel h. wilson (f)- this reads like a tv miniseries so much that i can’t believe it isn’t one yet.

confessions of the fox by jordy rosenberg (f)- not my usual cup of tea, fiction-wise, but still compelling. a fresh take on the white-male-english-professor-self-insert? but not insufferable. gets weird!

spinning silver by naomi novik (f)- rumplestilstkin, but make it interesting! a great, richly-told fairy tale, but like, large scale. good to read on a cold day while you’re wrapped up in a blanket with some hot tea.

interior chinatown by charles yu (f)- compulsively readable. a couple things bugged me, but not enough to make me dislike it. a fun companion piece to how to live safely in a science fictional universe. i like this guy’s style.

cannibalism by bill schutt (nf)- COOL. mostly covers the animal kingdom (fun), spends too much time on the donner party (less fun), ends with a SPICY take on prions that i cannot get out of my head!!!

buzz, sting, bite by anne sverdrup-thygeson (nf)- BUGS! broad but not overwhelming, neither dumbed down nor overly scientific, short enough to finish in a day or two. recommend this to literally everyone.

books that made me want to read everything else in the author’s ouevre:

the time invariance of snow by e. lily yu (f)- this FUCKS but it’s too short!!!

an unkindness of ghosts by rivers solomon (f)- okay this book is SO good and so well-written and interesting and blah blah blah all the good things, but... the whole time, i was just like?? why???? why is this what you’re choosing to write about??? (i did also read the deep and blood is another word for hunger after this one, and i did like them both, especially the latter, but i think they can do better! like i think they could write a perfect book and i am gonna be *eyes emoji* until then.)

the space between worlds by micaiah johnson (f)- a fine debut novel, but i want to see her do something a little more... idk, refined? i think she overreaches here, like it’s a little... idk looper? this is how you lose the time war? there’s a better comparison, but i can’t think of it, but you get the idea. and then halfway through it shifts gears to mad max. there’s something weird about one of the central relationships, like it’s not complex enough to take as long to resolve as it does. idk idk. there are just a lot of little nitpicky things. it’s not bad! but i think she can do better and i look forward to finding out.

postcolonial love poem by natalie diaz (p)- thinky! like i tried to read this before bed, but it’s not the sort of thing to parse out while you’re falling asleep, it requires more attention than that.

books that Learned Me Somethin:

smoke gets in your eyes by caitlin doughty (nf)- i am a self-professed death obsessed weirdo, fascinated by death and mourning, but i didn’t know all that much about what happens to a body between the dying and the funeral! this book isn’t big, but it covers a lot and doughty’s writing style is engaging and honest. it’s very memorable.

queer by meg-john barker and julia scheele (nf)- i’m gonna be totally honest and say Queer Theory is above my intellectual pay grade, but this book takes you by the hand and explains the basics.

vitamania by catherine price (nf)- LMAO my fellow americans, never take a supplement. this book is great and well-researched, but normal folks don’t need to read it, just listen to season two of the dream podcast, which definitely cribbed from this.

vegetable kingdom by bryant terry (nf)- this is a fine cookbook, my favorite of his that i’ve read so far. gets a special mention bc i had a religious experience just reading one of his kohlrabi recipes. absolutely gutted that i didn’t have an opportunity to try it this year, since the pandemic put the kibosh on all family bbqs.

the best american food writing 2020 edited by j. kenji lopez-alt (nf)- this really is just a great collection.

are prisons obsolete? by angela y. davis (nf)- yes.

i moved to los angeles to work in animation by natalie nourigat (nf)- before reading this, i had basically zero knowledge of how the animation industry works. now i know like three things.

the secret lives of bats by merlin tuttle (nf)- BATS! okay this book is more about the adventures of being a bat scientist than it actually is about bats, but there are bats in there. insectivorous bats basically shit glitter, you should know this.

books from valuable perspectives:

hood feminism by mikki kendall (nf)- a breakdown of who’s getting left out of feminist spaces, why that’s happening, and why it shouldn’t be happening.

all you can ever know by nicole chung (nf)- a (transracial) adoptee’s take on adoption and learning more about her birth family. the personal storytelling of this one really stuck with me.

motherhood so white by nefertiti austin (nf)- a single-mom-by-choice’s take on the foster system/adoption process. walks you through some things i always wondered about and some things i wouldn’t even have thought about.

this place by kateri akiwenzie-damm et al (? n/f)- i, like a lot of non- native americans, only know that history in broad strokes. getting this many highly specific stories in one dense and beautiful book felt like a lucky find. and taking that perspective into the future in the context of that history is v good.

empty by susan burton (nf)- eating disorder stories are important to me bc i care about food so much. this one is so relatable- not in its specificity, but rather its generality. it’s easy to empathize with her perspective because it’s like, Oh, i don’t have that exact problem, but i struggle with different problems in a very similar way. (feels like the opposite of roxane gay’s hunger, in a way.)

obit by victoria chang (p)- this exploration of grief is... woof.

short story collections are hard to evaluate bc you’ll never read one where every single story hits but i generally enjoyed these:

a thousand beginnings and endings edited by ellen oh and elsie chapman (f)

how long til black future month? by n.k. jemisin (f)

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado (f)

books i revisited:

the broken earth trilogy by n.k. jemisin (f)- i read the series backwards this time and like... i can’t really find any faults in these books, man. they’re just the best.

everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too by jomny sun (f... but is it really?)- half of this book’s sales are from me buying it for other people bc it’s the only way i know how to say i love you. i reread it every time just to make sure it still feels right and it always does.

other honorable mentions:

white is for witching by helen oyeyemi (f)- not to pit two bad bitches against each other, but this book does what akwaeke emezi’s freshwater was trying to do. it’s a little weird, a little haunted, a little of a lot of things. read this only in the dead of winter. (and with stephen rennicks’ score for the little stranger playing in the background.)

homie by danez smith (p)- there’s a lot going on here, but this just made me crack a smile a couple times in a way that no other book of poetry has ever done.

the murder of roger ackroyd and murder in mesopotamia by agatha christie (f)- That Bitch!

blues by nikki giovanni (p)- she sure has some Things To Say

the three-body problem by cixin liu (f)- interesting concepts, but... idk something’s missing? felt weirdly soulless to me. i’m probably not gonna read the sequels. but it did make some points!

the sisters of the winter wood by rena rossner (f)- i’m a slut for shapeshifting, okay. but this is a good fairy tale, it works!

parable of the sower by octavia butler (f)- i read this in march, when the pandemic was just kicking off and boy that was not the right time. def my least favorite of hers so far, but an octavia butler i don’t love is still better than a hell of a lot of other books. no idea when or if i’ll get to a good enough headspace for the sequel.

faves:

saturnino herrán by adriana zapett tapia (nf)- i got to learn new things about my mans and see some of his paintings i’ve never even seen online! GOSH.

on food and cooking by harold mcgee (nf)- yeah yeah, i’ve already mentioned this book half a dozen times on here this year, but i don’t care. this book lives off the shelf in my home bc i reference it like every other fucking day. this book is a part of me now.

#long post #final total for the year will be 120 by the end of the day!#and i had a pretty good hit rate. would probably recommend at least half #and only outright hated four

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pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years

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Thoughts/ reaction to AWAE 3x7

This cold open is… different. It has actual tension. Also, it ties directly to the end of last episode, and gods know I love that. And… it has actual speaking, too? Honestly, Anne is the typical teenager caught sneaking back in at night, while also being socially engaged. I mean, there’s nothing typical about her and the present mission of hers, but an untrained eye might have thought so.

I’m honestly afraid of people’s reaction to whatever Anne wrote in that paper. I have been since last week, and maybe not without good reason.

Have Diana’s parents learnt nothing? Not even from missing their chance with Mary? Apparently these people are immune to redemption. I hope I’m wrong about this.

Diana’s face after excusing Anne oh-so-smoothly is just like, “What has she done now?”, but she’s still not letting anything on. This is the friend we all dream of.

Poor Josie is getting those judging looks from everyone while Billy just sits there like he has nothing to do with it. In fact, he seems annoyed by the whole situation. Who gave you the right? How dare you sit there like you have no part in this? If I were Anne, I would definitely have done all she did and more. Heck, even if I were just me, I would have done something, and I’m so afraid of speaking up… Billy deserves the worst.

It seems to me that Josie’s father is no better than Billy. Blaming his own daughter and making her marry that little piece of *no swearing on main, but you’ll know what I mean* after what he did to her? Someone needs to teach those men a big lesson.

“Get him back”? Don’t you mean get back at him? Listen to your daughter, woman, why don’t you?

“How bad could it be?” Let’s just say you’re lucky not to know. I’m screaming right now, but we’ll have to live through this. No change comes without suffering.

Anne asking Marilla if she doesn’t deserve an opinion, and then bringing up Matthew’s blunder… hitting where it hurts the most, that’s what that was.

“All will sort itself out” Yeah it will, if Billy never so much as goes near another girl again. But we all know that’s not happening.

What? They’re looking for another girl? “More compatible with our interests”? What does that mean? Okay with being assaulted and treated like a piece of meat with no soul or opinion? No girl deserves the monstrosity that is Billy Andrews.

I knew Prissy would speak up. I hoped and prayed for at least one member of that family to have their mind and heart in the right place. The world needs more women like Prissy Andrews. At least two for every man like Billy Andrews. I still can’t wrap my mind around the two of them coming from the same genes. Biology and blood relations make no sense when it comes to what matters most, I guess.

Has Diana gone nuts? “Apologise to Josie”? For what? Trying to speak up for her when she herself wouldn’t dare to? Telling the honest truth to a town of people that are apparently too narrow-minded to see it? This isn’t the Diana that kissed Jerry at the fair last week. This isn’t the Diana that would fake an injury to experience freedom. I’m witnessing a full-speed slide down the metaphorical hill of character growth, back to square one. I’m disappointed in my girl.

“You’ve always been jealous of me”… for what? Being engaged to a piece of *see above* that assaulted you? Or for being too blinded by what society has taught you to believe - that you are lucky to be marrying him and are not the victim of what he did to you? Honestly, I feel bad for Anne in the present situation, but I feel even worse for Josie because, unlike Anne, she doesn’t seem to realise that she is the victim here and has rights to fight for. I hope this works out.

But honestly, does none of the girls remember about the Beltane? Does Diana not remember that Josie was in their circle and is therefore their sister now? Does Jane not remember what happened to her actual sister not so long ago - which said sister just reminded her of, in case she had forgotten? Josie is now her sister, too. Does that mean nothing? Is ostracising Anne and treating her like trash all over again going to benefit any of those girls? What is with everybody? Wake up, people!

Oh, shut up, Gilbert Blythe! Or whoever you are these days because I frankly don’t know you anymore. Do you still not realise what this is all about?

And Miss Stacy, too? You’d think she would have a thing or two to say about women’s rights. What is wrong with everybody?

Oh, so she agrees with Anne, but still won’t help her? I see where she’s coming from, but right now everything that goes against Anne even in the slightest is wrong in my eyes and ears. I’m looking at this too passionately. I might need to cool off.

All of a sudden I sympathise with Rachel Lynde. Who would have thought? But well, she just so happens to be the only woman in a council of men. Them trying to pass her opinion off as “hysterical” fits in perfectly with the theme of the episode about women’s voices and the right to equality.

Ok, so Diana might not be so lost, after all. I have to admit, I squeal in delight at the sight of her and Jerry. But… wait. What is going on just now? I’m not liking the sound of this. And why do I feel like his heart wasn’t in that kiss? Why are you doing this to me? I should be excited, nay, ecstatic, about Derry’s second kiss. Not hurt by the look on Jerry’s face. What did you do to my boy, Moira?

Miss Stacy seems to have finally come to her senses and is ranting about the stupid censorship that stupid men put on the newspaper instead of the “scandalous” actions that Anne took. And Anne having a full-on raging breakdown and taking it out on the remains of the writing club… “We rest in truth”… I feel for her.

Gilbert has finally come back. I have no idea where he was all this time, but he’s back and there’s at least one thing in this episode I’m glad about. It seems that suffering does bring about change, after all.

Anne coming back and being accepted with literal open arms… and then Gilbert’s face says it all. “I did what’s right. It was about time.”

“Anne’s farm boy is ever so tall…” First of all, yes he is, isn’t he? *heart eyes* Second of all. though, he has a name, and it’s Jerry. Third of all, he’s not Anne’s farm boy, he’s her brother. But at least we agree on something. Honestly, every now and then I feel that if I were to write a self-insert character for AWAE, I would end up with Ruby. She is just so much like me…

“Wonder if he has a farm girl…” Jerry’s just trying his best to hide at this point, and Diana looks like she would very much like to hide as well. But this is not hiding of the “secret forbidden romance” type. Why do I feel… embarrassment in her eyes? This is not my Diana.

“I’m certain Billy won’t understand any of it” - and that’s why the business should go to Prissy alone. Also because Billy deserves nothing, whether he understands the business or not.

What is wrong with Josie? The poor girl doesn’t even understand she’s perpetuating her own suffering. At least Anne tried. Multiple times. I’m afraid some victims deny themselves the chance to be saved…

“My girl”… oh sweet, gentle, wonderful Jerry… I fear she might not be very worthy of you right now… Also, it’s funny (read: cruel) what the fates do to us. I’ve wanted for Anne to know about Derry, but not in circumstances such as these…

“She seems to like the kissing part, but not the part where we talk”… this seems like a half-subtle parallel between their situation and what Billy did to Josie, and I’m not liking the implications this has about Diana. And it seems Anne has got the same impressions…

Poor, poor Jerry… I can barely see what I’m typing right now because I’m bawling my eyes out. I so wish I could be there to give him a hug and tell him just how much more he’s worth. Only, I couldn’t be much help because, as I said, I’m bawling my eyes out myself… That is NOT my Diana. Who’d have known the day I’d take Gilbert back in would be the day I’d lose Diana? But this is not about her. This is about how she made Jerry feel - wonderful, hard-working, smarter-than-he-is-given-credit-for Jerry who deserves absolutely no hurt. I knew the development of Derry was too good to last, but I did not expect the pain to come from within. I expected anything - society, their class difference, their families, even Diana’s higher education - to come between them, but never Diana’s behaviour to Jerry. Excuse me while I go throw pillows at my wall in rage and heartbreak.

“They can’t take your beauty away from you”… Umm, exuse me? All this happened because Josie was reduced to a “pretty face”. But you wouldn’t know. You weren’t there. She was, though, and she seems to finally realise just what was done to her. Please don’t let me be wrong in assuming that.

“I still like you”? Come again? What has happened that might reduce her likeability other than what you alone did to her? You’re an entitled effing brat, that’s what you are. And she owes you nothing. Good on Josie for finally realising her worth.

And you dare to just show up and act like nothing happened after what you did to Anne’s brother? If somebody treated my brother like this, I would make them pay. That much I know. I thought you would know better, Diana. “It doesn’t mean anything”… you better shut your mouth before you say anything else hurtful about the two people you’re alleged to love the most. walking on thin ice there, Miss Barry.

“Don’t you dare” No, don’t YOU dare! I was afraid Jerry would be just a temporary escape, a little adventure to Diana, but I shuddered to think it would be so anywhere beyond my anxiety-induced nightmares… and now there are some insulting words floating around in my head that I’m not directing at her just because I’m sure that, unlike Billy, she will redeem herself. I’m dying right here. I did not opt to miss my lectures to cry so much.

A real quote from my reaction to 3x5: “I live and would die for Anne and Diana’s friendship.” Well, now I feel like I AM dying - because this seems like the end of it. My brain knows it’s not, but my heart sides with Anne. And Jerry. I side with respect and equality. What side are you on, Diana?

“Just a suggestion. Not telling you what to do”… Gilbert seems genuinely a bit scared of her and I’m still dying - but now it’s of laughter. Gil has learnt his lesson and as of now deserves to be called Gil again… until further notice.

And the “rallying” that the episode description promised is in full force now. I’m finally smiling at this episode. It was high time.

Marilla stading up for Anne in front of the council and Matthew just smiling with pride is the golden content I had already lost all hope to see in this darkest of dark episodes… In Matthew We Trust!

In the name of all that is holy, I hope Moira’s deviations from the source material include the survival of both Matthew and Ruby. Seriously, source material, Matthew and Ruby? The biggest cinnamon rolls of them all? what’s next, Jerry? Delphine? No, forget I ever said that.

And now Josie joining in is just about the best thing I can hope to see before the hurricane of suffering this episode is comes to its end.

The “Not a Take Notice kind of guy” scene flashed through my mind when Gilbert said “Thanks for the suggestions”… this moment is so different, so much better… My Gil, Anne’s Gil, is back, and he’s making sure everyone knows it. You should see my face now.

The world needs more teachers - and women in general - like Miss Muriel Stacy.

Anne and Gil being aware of what exactly their relationship is like (Shouldn’t we be arguing about something…”) while not being sure what their relationship is like at all is… the most wonderful paradox I can think of right now. We’re getting a Shirbert kiss… in, like, season 6 or something, but it’s worth waiting for. Some slowburns should remain slowburns.

The spelling… oh gods, the spelling! #Shirbert

When Anne mentioned Winifred, I couldn’t help thinking of that time she mentioned Ruby… why do you do this to the guy, Anne? He’s trying to take a step forward, I can see that he really is.

Wait, what is happening? Why do they always make screens so dark, I can’t see what’s going on at all.

Oh no! When Miss Stacy mentioned the building spontaneously combusting, I didn’t think that was foreshadowing… but then, if I remember correctly, a fire was what made Anne and Ruby friends, so we never know - something good might come out of this. I hope so.

To sum up, in this episode we saw: Anne’s actions and their disastrous outcome; the town isn’t ready to accept the changes that are happening inevitably; Billy is an a**hole, Prissy is an icon - no surprises in either situation; Diana is not Diana; Josie doesn’t realise she’s a victim and has a voice; all the girls except Anne suffer from what we over at TV tropes call Aesop Amnesia about Beltane; Derry’s second kiss was nothing like the first one; Gilbert is BACK; Ruby is me; this is NOT MY DIANA; Anne finds out about Derry in the worst way imaginable; Jerry suffers and I want to kill someone because of it; the fall of Diana and what seems like, but is hopefully not, the death of Anne and Diana’s friendship; Josie realises her worth and puts Billy in his place; Gilbert is back like he’s never been gone; rallying and organised action at its best; In Matthew We Trust; Josie is back for the better; Shirbert knowing their relationship and not knowing it at the same time; Anne mentions another girl yet again - some people never learn; Miss Stacy unknowingly predicted the fire.

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hogwarts-is-my-wonderland · 4 years

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I'm a good writer, seriously!! lol - #1, 4, 5 and 10 ^_^

Thank you for the ask, @darknightfrombeyond! I’m gonna do a little (lie, a lot) of shameless self-promoting to build up my answers here.

1. of the fic you’ve written, which are you most proud of?

My longest and most updated work has been my HP series, The Barton Saga. I divide the years by stories, and of the three I’ve republished so far, I’m the proudest of second year (or Book Two as I labelled it), which is called “The Phantom Behind Me.”

The ‘republished’ part wasn’t a misspelling. When I began writing fanfics, it was with this series but the first round of drafts were, like, shameless self-insert and awful writing. Back then, I’d started only because I wanted to develop my writing skills in English (it’s my second language) and I wanted to have fun while doing so. When I was accepted into an university, there was a considerable development in my writing and I, attached to the story, I decided to give it an honest try and develop the characters more.

What I did? I gave my OCs completly different personalities from their original ones. Anya Barton (my main muse) went from a timid girl to a girl with anger issues and once-mentioned OCs became supporting characters; they gained personalities while also becoming Anya’s moral compases (as in, they were gray characters who showed her there were more than just two paths to take). And instead of coming up with ideas on a whim, I had my defining plot twists/points written on a document.

Then my computer crashed and I lost all my work (I had up to sixth year). I was devasted and lost motivation. The story remained on hiatus for a while because my homework load increased and I was doing practice on the field. It was under this pressure that I decided to give it one final try—and rewrote the complete thing for a second time (and it is my current work).

This time I have the finest details down on a notebook. The major plot points are still the same, but some were moved or added to further develop the background characters. Since this second rewrite, I’ve updating two chapters (of at least 6,000 words) every four-to-six months and I’m currently in the beginning of third year.

Now, why is “The Phantom Behind Me” my favorite fic? It’s because I, who’d started this project as a learning experience, reached a new level of dept. Yes, I’m bragging a little because I reached it (or better said, fell into it) but I can’t seem to get out of it as much as I try.

You know what happens in Chamber of Secrets—the chamber is opened and Voldemort’s younger self is the culprit. But here, I shifted the other major plot point towards Anya—and somehow, the story went from a magical/suspenseful adventure to a psychological fight between a girl with trust/anger issues (and who has recently discovered a grim fact) and a sadistic teenager who, in his own way, believes has acted on account of Anya’s well-being (all while secretly plotting his evil plan). A lot is left unsaid in the writing, but what is implied it’s chilling and heartbreaking.

That story is completed but I’ve left the characters at a standstill. Friendships at the moment are fraught and Anya’s mind is balancing the thin line between reluctant acceptance and despair. Like I said before, I can’t seem to get her out of that funk. And funnily enough, I know this is realistic—who has ever gone through a painful experience and gotten over it in two months? No one, at least that I know.

So yes, this spiel is the reason why I both love and hate “The Phantom Behind Me” —I love it because it is my best work so far, but hate it because it hinders me from moving to what is supposed to be a fast-paced plot (in my case) with Prisoner of Azkaban.

4. what are some themes you love writing about?

I started out with romance (let’s be honest, who doesn’t with fandom?) but eventually chuked it (slightly) in favor of friendship and sisterhood.

Both are current themes in all my works—for example, with “To Be Human” (a Flash fic), I flat out start with the OC and her love interest at odds and focus on contrasting their developing relationship with the OC’s defining relationships, in particular her best friend and her surrogate father. With the Barton Saga, the endgame is Harry Potter/OC, but they obviously forge their bond through all the life-threatening adventures they face (not to mention they are still growing and learning to be their own persons) and Anya also navigates the waters with tentative friendships (like Marie Harlaown, her smart-yet-romantic-at-heart Raveclaw friend, or Theodore Nott, the Slytherin who reaches out to Anya in the hopes of escaping his father’s shadow).

The same happens with my other plot bunnies: my Doctor Who OC? She starts traveling with the Doctor because her best friend was kidnapped by an alien. My MCU OC? She’s Tony’s half-sister and the whole point of the series is how they bring out the best and worst out of each other while they learn to accept it and eventually grow to care deeply for the other.

5. what inspires you to write?

It depends on what I’m doing or what I’m watching. Generally, I work best under pressure because it matches the hint of urgency underlying my stories. But it usually takes for some good sources (like, maybe a fanfic I’m reading of the same fandom or watching the source itself) to motivate me and I’m back to my little notebook of ideas.

10. what are your strengths wrt writing?

I know how to develop an idea. No matter what I’m writing (it can be an essay or fiction), I always know where I start and where I end. Well, I don’t outright know, but before I write, I decide these two aspects. Personally, knowing where I’m going gives me a lot of leeway in developing the main idea/plot.

Another strength that I’ve noticed (one that I decided to take from my favorite HP author on wattpad, K.M. Bell) is taking an overused plot/plot twist and give it its own plot twist.

Examples in my stories (SPOILERS) (also shamelessly self-promoting):

1. Anya is an orphan because of Voldemort (shocking, I know), but she is actually comfortable with her life. She is not mistreated and has had, in fact, a very good education and relationship with the employees of her orphanage.

2. It’s Albus Dumbledore who gives Anya her Hogwarts letter (even more shocking, I hope) and convinces Anya from leaving her comfortable life with a tantalizing offer of knowledge about her parents. Like in true canon fashion, he witholds the important bits, but this is because he knows too much about her family and has been judging Anya in base of that. (This eventually will result with Anya no longer trusting him and taking matters into her hands.)

3. Hermione is Anya’s best friend. At first. Because they have a falling out at the end of their second year (read question 1 above) and while they remain friendly, they don’t trust each other with personal matters anymore.

4. SPOILER OF SPOILERS (but already revealed): Anya is Voldemort’s granddaughter. Her father, Alec Barton, who supposedly spent all of his adulthood fighting against Voldemort, is in fact his son.

Angelique Barton (Anya’s grandmother) hated Riddle throughout her childhood and gave a very twisted meaning to the quote “have your enemies closer” when she decided to enter a relationship with him. Angelique eventually realized how wrong her obssessive quest was and decided to take off with her son. Alec always knew his father’s identity, but it wasn’t until Voldemort made his first public appearance that he realized how deep both Riddle and Angelique had fallen and he, ashamed, decided to make a public stand against him under the belief that his good deeds would eventually outweight his parents’ mistakes.

(slight spoiler) It didn’t work out as expected—evidence number 1 being Anya.

•••

So sorry for the long answers but I was inspired!

#anya barton #oc: anya barton #thebartonsaga #series: the barton saga #fd: harry potter #ask me some stuff #ask me about my ocs #me answering some stuff

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youngneemleaves · 5 years

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I started thinking of where Martha stands in terms of symbolism and parallels, with betrayal being the keynote of Jonas’s arc. (I don’t want to think of Jonas as directly paralleling Judas Iscariot - or perhaps, more accurately, both Judas and Jesus, because Jonas can either save everyone or doom them all - because I’m not prepared to deal with the questionable implications of that, but moving on - )

The main thing about Martha, the Biblical character, is that her priorities aren’t where other people think they should be. She’s not like Mary - dutiful, wise, spiritually-minded Mary. She was said to be materialistic, short-sighted, pragmatic, outgoing. Yet, she’s the one who gets the door to her dead brother’s tomb opened so that he can be resurrected.

Martha Nielsen is also portrayed as sentimental and naive from the start. She’s on a hunger strike by herself until hunger is stopped across the world. She’s theatrical (literally), and indecisive. She’s a teenager, as are Jonas, Bartosz, and Franziska. She’s also artistic (theatre), and takes time to introspect in way that others often don’t (thinking that children don’t really understand who their parents are, or were, as people). She’s the first person in the story who realises the importance of reaching out to others and being honest with them when everyone else (except Franziska) is too busy being isolated, secretive, self-pitying heroes in their own stories. She gets angry when people don’t answer her demand of honest and complete communication. And although Martha breaks down in tears in her moment of existential despair on stage, she doesn’t always concern herself with the metaphysical aspect of things. She doesn’t try to stop the causal loops. She’s more grounded - and in series 2, more selfish.

But then, her selfishness - her grief for her lost family members superseded by her all-consuming love for Jonas - isn’t unique to her. After her loss of naivete, it’s simply something she sees in everyone else around her, recognises in herself, and accepts. It’s why she shoots down Bartosz when he tries to up the team spirit and raise awareness about the time travel conspiracies. She’s accepted the severely fractured state of their relationships, the violence they’ve inherited from their older generations, and the isolation of their lives. Unlike Jonas, she doesn’t take it upon herself to heal everybody and restore time and physical balance in the universe. Martha’s pragmatism is a cue for Martha Nielsen to grasp the reality of Winden; and once she’s seen the void, she can’t look any other way except inside herself. And indeed, Martha’s priorities lose balance in the end. Katharina would be appalled if she knew her daughter willingly chose to love Jonas (the son of Hannah Kahnwald, the woman who betrayed the two families in some of the worst ways possible) romantically and sexually in spite of the truth.

Fittingly, the colour most associated with her is red, the red of her lipstick, her blood gushing from her bullet wound, her Ariadne’s thread -

positive: blood, desire, power, sensitivity, love

negative: danger, lust, violence, wrath

What I find most interesting is how selfish, sentimental, earthbound Martha becomes Ariadne in a story where no one, NO ONE (except Claudia, maybe) knows what’s really happening. In-universe, her influence is so strong that she returns after being horribly, blandly fridged, and protects the person directly responsible for her death, and in the process, maintains her own relevance to the larger plot(s). An enormous difference is made by the simple fact that alt!Martha has a time-and-space travel device of her own, is capable of using it, and uses it to make a difference, but in a way that’s entirely true to her character. This automatically places her in the same league as Jonas, Bartosz, Claudia, and other time-travelling characters. Notably, she’s entered Adam’s world - the ostensibly enlightened, transcendent future where Jonas has managed to shed all emotional vulnerabilities and devoted himself to a singular, superhuman purpose, making his cult out of the people who once didn’t think much of him and even distrusted him. It’s a perfect white male scientist-saint’s fantasy. But the desire he’d claimed to have freed himself from (which, I’m 99% sure, is a lie) now inserts itself into the narrative again, in the form of Martha, the emblem of materialistic passion.

I know that at this point, there’s the very real possibility that Adam had known of alt!Martha’s entry and had prepared beforehand, and perhaps that’s what he informed middle aged!Jonas about in the letter. And there’s no telling what middle aged!Jonas knew and had been through. But I still think Martha’s re-entry into the story in an altered capacity is very significant, and it’s not ultimately good for Adam’s totally-detached-from-the-weaknesses-of-time-limited-flesh-what-are-you-even-talking-about visions for the future.

#netflix dark #dark netflix #martha nielsen #jonas kahnwald #tv #my writing #my writing: netflix dark #don't mind me i'm just faffing around looking at symbolism again #knowing perfectly well that all of this has next to no value #i think there's a larger point to be made here about #the high-handedness of the writers of this show themselves #if we consider the stagecraft and conventions of the show itself #there's still the fact that the show is far too self-satisfied and misguided #there's a tremendous lot that could be said here to comment on the real world #significance of these time travel shenanigans #these relationships and themes #are so rich in potential #but the writers are wasting all of it in trying to make the show look serious prestige tv #where actions have Consequences and nobody ever cracks a proper joke

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kinsbin · 5 years

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Babysitting

Title: Babysitting Ship: Alexys/John Doe [Joker] [Self Insert/Canon] Word Count: 2125 Summary: Bruce convinces Alexys to help him out with watching a couple of Selena’s cousins after he gets scheduled for an important gala event. John decides that he wants to help her out too.

A/N: A commission for @bad-blue-moon-rising with her and the Joker again! An adorable couple, honestly, I'm always happy to write for them ;u;

“No.”

“Alexys please-.”

“Bruuuuuuuuuuuce.”

Bruce rolled his eyes at the weak-willed whining of his best friend as she all but threw herself against the plush interior of his luxury card, limbs flailing as she stretched across the upholstery in an effort to take up as much room as possible. Bruce, unphased, leaned back in his own seat to avoid the set of limbs blindly flinging themselves around from a variety of directions. Alexys pouted back at him, as if upset she had somehow missed his form in her flailing efforts. She probably was upset about that, Bruce realized with a roll of his eyes as he held his hands up to try and continue his discussion with the woman before her.

“Selena asked me to help and I answered before I knew my full schedule,” He had explained in a last ditch plea towards his best friend, “But something came up on the day of and, now, I don’t think there’s any way for either of us to reschedule.”

“Why didn’t you just ask Xena then?”

“She’s out of town on a gallery conference in Metropolis,” Bruce’s voice echoed a more pleading tone as he practically pouted at Alexys, whose arms were now crossed hard over her chest as she leaned back in the seat in a proper, upright position, “You know I wouldn’t ask you unless I was completely out of options, Alexys, I really am sorry but…”

Alexys sighed and gave an accepting nod, her fate being sealed within a moment of her begrudging agreement. Bruce had rarely asked favors of her in their entire friendship, a sort of basis built up on trust and communication as any relationship, platonic or otherwise, should be. The favor was not the worst at any rate either. Selena had asked Bruce to help watch a couple of her cousin’s kids while she was away on business. Alexys was sure that the ‘business’ she was away on was either going with Xena to Metropolis (god forbid either of those two leave their girlfriend alone in another city) or a job of thievery that would prove to last a few days longer than she had expected it to. Regardless, there was trust in asking Bruce to do it. And more trust in Bruce asking her to do it and not spill the beans to the woman who had made her boyfriend promise he would take good care of them.

It was how she had found herself in the small, but homey area of downtown Gotham. The street cars roared at the bottom of the five-story apartment building, windows shut to muffle the endless white noise of the city as Alexys sat with the twins before her, their eyes wide and curious at her as she introduced herself with a wave and smile.

“I’m Alexys. Bruce sent me to take care of you both, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Why didn’t he come himself?”

Despite being seven, the words were eloquent. The girl, with short hair matching that of Selena’s, quirked a bushy eyebrow while the boy at her side nodded eagerly, hoping it was enough to back his sister up on her wording. Alexys was...perhaps moderately surprised at the wise indications of the children before her, but, it faded quickly. They were related to Selena, after all, and as such were bound to inherit some of her intense intelligence above all else. So she kept a smile on her lips as she shrugged, crossing her legs in front of them where she sat and sighed.

“He got busy with adult, rich, billionaire things and decided it was best to leave us all alone with his credit card.”

“What a jerk!” The boy quipped up at last, “Let’s buy a bunch of toys to make him pay for it!”

Alexys felt the laughter leave her before she could stop it, the giggles echoing from her mouth as the idea of putting several toys-r-us and target runs on Bruce’s credit card filled her with mischievous glee should it not promptly end their friendship in one way or another. The laughter was contagious, apparently, as the two before her began to giggle in unison. This increased Alexys’ laughs until the group of them were cackling together on the ground, clutching their chests as the banter of what they should buy with esteemed billionaire Bruce Wayne’s credit card continued in their group.

It was at that moment that her phone rang, the tune of a classic song that had come with her phone’s generic ringtone setup blasting on full volume through the entire household. Pausing in her fits of giggles, Alexys checked the caller ID to identify just who it was ringing her up in this moment. Her mouth only split into a wider smile when she realized that John’s name, displayed pleasantly before her with the accompaniment of hearts and a small flower, made her heart skip a beat. Answering it took no hesitation as she held the device up to her ears and vibrated as she spoke.

“Hey, John!”

“Alexys, hey!” The man cheered with delight upon her voice reaching his own ears, “Where are you, Doll?I was hoping we could spend some time together today, since you were free!”

Her heart dropped as she bit her lip, looking on at the curious children before her with an apologetic gaze before answering back into the phone with a tone that matched the look, “Oh John, I’m so sorry...But, Bruce needed my help last minute in watching some of his fiance’s niece and nephew, so, I volunteered and am looking after them. I can’t go anywhere today…”

The softest ‘oh’ of contemplation echoed against the receiver before silence enveloped the situation, the quiet filling her soul with guilt as she pursed her lips, prepared to apologize again and promise softly that she would make it up to him another time. Probably with a lot of kisses and a gentle encouragement of why she loved him so much for cure. Instead, her words were cut off by an echoed snap noise and then her boyfriend’s excited intonation practically yelping into through the speaker:

“Let’s watch them together! Where are you at?”

“Wh-What? No, John, it’s okay you really don’t have to take time out of your day to-”

“Come onnnn, I want to spend time with you! If it means helping you watch some of your friends kids then, heck, baby me up, Doll!”

The awkward way he litingly phrased the encouragement sent a fit of giggles bursting from Alexys’ throat as she rolled her eyes, looking on at the children before her as they gazed intently at her conversation, as if trying to hear through the phone to the other end so they could see just who she was talking to. With a smile, she gave them both a thumbs up before asking her own question:

“How would you both feel if I had someone over to join us?”

---

Truth be told, John was a bit nervous.

Maybe not a bit nervous. Maybe really nervous.

Children were...interesting. Not in a bad way, but, in a they held nothing back sort of way. In a ‘they would tell you your honest opinion of you’ certain way. Unlike adults who dodged questions and faded answers to other answers in a trained and precise way, children were always upfront with their opinions on the world around them. On the people around them. What if these children, in front of Alexys no less, disliked him? What if they hated clowns? What if they didn’t find any of his jokes funny?

The horror of reality caught up with him only after he had made the impulsive decision to drive down to the address Alexys had eagerly given him, his hand poised over at the door with a pale look of shock as he remembered just what he was about to do. Taking a deep breath, there was a moment where he lowered his hand to give himself a pat on the back, literally, his hand reaching over to caress what shoulder blade it could reach as he shook his head.

“Come on, John, it’ll be fine. It doesn’t matter what some kids say, she’ll still like you...Unless, well, she doesn’t-but-she always says that she does! Why would she change that over a nice and nephew she just met? It would be stupid...or honest...or would it? Hm-”

His self ramblings were shut off when the door clicked open. Alexys, having seen him standing in the doorway, rushed to pull it open before he could truly knock on it. Her smile sent his heart fluttering up to his throat as her beauty, as it usually did, took the breath away from him. His own smile creeped up against his lips as he gave her a light wave.

“Alexys, good to see you!”

“You too, John-” She leaned forward to hug him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before ushuring him inside, “Come meet the Kyles! They’re incredibly sweet.”

John ignored his clammy hands as the two children approached him, both eyes widening at the slicked back green hair he sported and pale source of makeup blushed across his face with careful application. When names were exchanged (“This is Arthur and Mary. Arthur and May, this is John.”) a silence followed, disturbed only by the echo of the grandfather clock in the living room hall.

Arthur pointed to John first, his lips curling into a smile.

“You look cool.”

The words strung the guitar strings of his heart like a guitar, the music playing from the compliment in his mind like a melody to his psyche. Slowly, surely, a sheepish sort of blush spread across his chin as he let a hand raise up and rub the back of his neck with a bright laugh.

“Why, thank-you! The hair is all natural, I promise. And if anyone says otherwise, they’re just jealous because green is the rarest hair color in existence.”

The girl giggled now, May’s hands falling to her mouth as she laughed at the absurd way he spoke about it. The boy joined in soon, the two children laughing in delight while John leaned down to get close to them both, face flushing at the cute way they seemed to stare at him. Their eyes, full of curiosity for the new being who had entered their home, were ready to take in whatever he said next with the utmost attention. John felt his grip on his own palms ease and his straightened shoulders relax as he tilted his head, tapping a finger to his chin as he hummed.

“Hey! You kids wanna hear a joke?”

Alexys felt her heart flutter as they cheered.

It was how the rest of the night seemed to progress. Little by little, Arthur and May seemed to warm up more and more to the man they now affectionately referred to as ‘Mr. Green’. Jokes went smoothly, sending them all laughing as pizza was ordered and eaten along with video games acceptable for all four of them to play on. Mario Kart ended with John dramatically flinging himself onto the floor, as if acting the fact that he had come in fourth place was the death of him. Arthur jumped on him in return, sending his breath winding itself out of his stomach while May laughed through the events. Alexys felt something...warm in the center of her stomach as she watched John’s gentle hands move against the children he already seemed to consider family.

It wasn’t until they were asleep that she brought it up. Both had their heads in John’s lap, his fingertips stroking through their short locks as Alexys cleaned up the remains of a pillow fort long since collapsed.

“I didn’t know you were so good with children.” She mused with a smile, sending another blush on John’s face as he chuckled in a whisper.

“They find things funnier than adults...And, well, most people say I act like a child. Maybe it’s just who I fit in with best.”

Alexys paused to press a kiss to his temple, feeling the stretch of his skin as he smiled tiredly through the motion. A pause. A meaningful gaze. A whisper.

“You’d make a wonderful father, John...Do you think you’d ever want to be one...someday?”

John Doe looked at Alexys with shock in his gaze before his lips parted to a warm, honest grin. Reaching one hand up, he stroked her hair and brought her in for another close kiss, the soft snoring of the children on his lap echoing his decision as he murmured it against her lips.

“With you? Definitley.”

#self insert #self shipping #self ship #kinley writes #telltale joker #batman self insert #telltale batman

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trulycertain · 5 years

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All right, so I’ve had a couple of people come to me asking if I can beta for them, which is one part terrifying to one part flattering, and I’ve had several conversations this week with followers about writing stuff. And about writing improvement.

I think I have some Thoughts.

Look, in my opinion, I'm quite often a terrible writer. I’m self-taught, I’ve picked up some bad habits, and my grammar is... um. Let’s just ignore my grammar. I need to refresh several things. (Where the hell does a semi-colon go in a list? Please. Help. Also, I need someone to surgically extract about half my adverbs.)

But I see so many people ripping into new ficwriters with that old-school LJ "sporking" mindset and crying "MARY SUE!!!" and... honestly?

That's not criticism, that's... shiticism. Excuse my French.

Yes, sometimes someone has a bit of an ego on them, especially if they’re new to a skill. That might grate on you. Fair enough. But if they’re not hurting anyone or forcing you to read, ripping into a new writer teaches them nothing except to shut up and be afraid. If someone's actually willing to learn and put the effort in and this matters to them, why crap on something they've put their heart into? Especially if one doesn't have to read it or pay for it.

I see so many self-conscious ficwriters who either don't dare write anything or define themselves entirely by "Look! I'm so much better than those self-insert/Sue/[whatever's out of vogue now] writers!" and... that doesn't always teach you to get out of negative patterns. Often it just inculcates you into different negative patterns, and a crab-bucket mentality where you and your feedbackers are so busy panicking and dragging each other down you don't get anything written.

I'll be honest, overpowered OCs are usually not my cup of tea as a reader. But I'm not going to wander in and tear someone's fic apart, and if someone comes to me for help, I am certainly not going to take that trust and hurt them with it. I see a lot of nicely done OCs because of being in RPG fandoms. I love watching people build protags with distinct voices and backstories they've put a lot of heart into. And statistically, yeah, sometimes you get stuff old-school fandom would call Sue-ish, but I don't think a beginner story where someone feels out the ropes and is proud of themselves for writing is going to ruin my day or destroy the world. Why bother being a jerk about it? And how does that ever teach someone to write?

Five times now, from different followers, I’ve heard things like, "A commenter tore my story apart, and I still remember it, and I cried but it was such good constructive criticism." And it might just have been a bad day, but if someone made you cry? That’s... probably not constructive criticism.

If people had treated me when I started drawing the way a lot of people treat new writers in fandom -

Actually, no, scratch that. Some people in real life did treat me like that when I picked up a pencil. That meant I put it down again pretty fast as a kid and didn't even try to draw until adulthood, when I was scared stiff and fought the impulse to hide everything I was working on. And I didn’t start again because of tough love, I started because people encouraged me.

Everyone goes, "Those poor kids!" but I don't really care if a writer's six or sixty, the principle of "be a decent teacher" applies.

Silencing is not teaching. If someone’s left scared and despairing and stops writing, you have taught them nothing. You’ve failed.

Random anecdote:

When I was looking at going semi-pro (long time ago, and bluntly put, I wasn’t brave enough at that point), I used to be on a writing forum. They prided themselves on their merciless criticism and their “I’m just being honest!”

And you know what happened? Crab bucket.

No-one ever tried to get anything published or optioned, no-one ever went to go and try and find an agent, because they were all too busy tearing each other's stuff down to feel better. They might have had some good points, once, but it got buried in the echo chamber and the self-importance.

I went in expecting pros to be brutal, to have to gird myself all the time. And they... weren't. Because I'd learned to write partly in crab buckets. And the pros, the real pros, know well enough not to do that. Because they’ve got less to prove, and a lot of them are readers themselves, or were fans themselves once. They want new stuff in the field, not to scare someone off writing forever, because then they'll have no new colleagues and nothing to read.

The worst that'll happen is the slush pile, and that just means hearing nothing or a form letter. (Very few pub houses do bit-by-bit critique rejection letters these days, and if they do, the good side of it is you've caught an editor or an intern's attention and they cared enough to go through it. And they may remember your name next time.) I got rejected by Clarkesworld. And I had the shakes sending my stuff in, but when I got the rejection? It actually... didn't hurt. Because I was so proud of myself for even trying and being brave enough to do it, and hell, getting seen by a slush pile intern in the same magazine that published Alastair Reynolds and Neil Gaiman. Because it was proof I'd tried and once I'd done the big scary thing, I could do all the smaller magazines and the anon stuff.

"Tearing someone's fic apart" is not criticism, it's fuckwittedness, and if someone knows how to be a decent beta, they don’t do it. A good reader recognises their own bias and realises that they’re coming in with subjective thoughts and skewed views of their own, and doesn’t represent themself as the only authority.

If you’re here for actual writing advice and not just a rant (I am so sorry), here’s some advice I’ve given a couple of mutuals. This is what works for me, and it might not work for everyone else. I tried?

I had to stop associating feedback/concrit with personal validation, because that made writing an emotionally fraught activity rather than something safe. So I never have friends beta read or edit my work, because I want a professional boundary or a common goal there. I let myself make mistakes and grin at "This is awesome!" comments with fic, because it's a practice ground where I'm just doing my best, rather than trying to ask for money with it or make a career out of it. It lets me relax. I definitely don't mind concrit and rather like it; it's not the thing itself, it's having a pseudonymous boundary. For that reason, I still don't have friends beta read me. Strangers, fine, friends, no.

A lot of people tell me "bloody hell you're prolific." Well, that one's partly unemployment, can't lie. But before that, when I was working and studying... Learning to write aimlessly changed everything. Doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be your next novel or a completed short story. I drabbled, focused on 4/500-word snippets and just capturing a mood/place/concept or building the start of a character, whatever took my fancy. Hell, for six months I took phrases I'd read on billboards as daily prompts. Basically, the aim is to start associating writing with fun and relaxation rather than pressure, and to get into the habit of sitting and doing it.

I tend to write longhand (for original, not for fic; it's how I keep the mental lines drawn). That sounds like a helluva lot of work, I know, but it also lets you see your progress so it's not just some... theoretical thing in cyberspace that you can’t quantify. (God, now I sound like I'm from 1995.)

I still am absolute shite at outlining when it's for fic. I'm too relaxed, but I try my best. What got me learning to do it for original and completely changed my process was Scrivener. (Also very good for essays!)

Relatedly, the final thing that made me get into a consistent writing habit was NaNoWriMo. It forced me into it because bluntly, I really wanted half-price Scrivener. And it never wore off. Three years later, I'm here. You might be too busy, too ill or too tired for it, and just not be into it, and that's OK, but a challenge like that can be fun.

If concrit and idea exchange are important to you, it may seriously be worth looking into writing groups, in real life and online. Absolutewrite, for instance, is very publishing-focused and a really good group.

And, most importantly of all:

Don’t give up. It gets easier.

#tru talks #writing #trulycertain talks bollocks #fanfiction #a little kindness can go a long way #i blame watching a lot of sam johnson on youtube #and thinking 'there needs to be more of that sort of thing for writing rather than singing'

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ed-edward-blackbeard · 7 years

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@rootingformephistopheles posted a looooooooooong list of fanfiction questions right here.

I answered every damn one of them before I realized it was probably meant to be an askbox thing. SO, here you fuckers go. (it’s five pages long, wtf. so it’s under a readmore to save your dashboard)

Fanfiction Questions

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Xenaverse, including Hercules: the Legendary Journeys. I did PBeM (play by email) role play, and then moved to fanfic, and then slash fanfic.

2. What is your latest fandom?

I have three, technically. Doctor Who, Hannibal, and Gotham

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Hannibal. Fannibals are the best, by 100 miles. I’m sure there’s bad parts of the fandom, I’ve just never yet run across them.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

As far as the people go? Highlander. There was a lot of overlap, at the time, with The Sentinel, both shows I enjoyed. I just feel like there were a lot of assholes in the Highlander fandom who disliked me and my writing because of the people I was friends with, not because I sucked (and believe me, I did. I have the fic to prove it.)

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

From my AO3 dashboard:

Smallville -- The Sentinel -- Hannibal (TV) -- Doctor Who (2005) -- Supernatural -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- Veronica Mars -- Stargate SG-1 -- Actor RPF -- Charlie Countryman/Spacedogs -- Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling -- Adam (2009)/Spacedogs – Brimstone -- Supernatural RPF -- Stargate Atlantis -- Yami No Matsuei | Descendants of Darkness -- The Fast and the Furious (2001) -- Sherlock (TV) -- The Blair Witch Project (1999) -- Star Trek: The Original Series -- Sense and Sensibility (1995) -- Law & Order: SVU -- Lost Boys (Movies) -- Watchmen (2009) -- Lost (1) -- Smallville RPF -- Marvel Cinematic Universe (1) -- Gargoyles (TV) -- Dogma (1999)

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh my fucking God. Okay, here goes:

Xena/Ares and Xena/Autolycus, Xenaverse; Clark/Lex and Lionel/Chloe, Smallville; Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg, the Sentinel; Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham, Hannibal; Doctor/Rose, Nine/Rose/Jack, Doctor Who; Dean/Sam, Supernatural; Buffy/Spike, Giles/Ethan, Spike/Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars, John Winchester/Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars; Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson, Stargate SG-1; Ezekiel/Lucifer, Brimstone; John/Rodney, Stargate Atlantis; Muraki x Tsuzuki, Yami No Matsuei; Dom/Brian, the Fast and the Furious; John Watson/Sherlock Holmes, BBC Sherlock; Nigel Lupei/Adam Raki, Spacedogs; Kirk/Spock, Star Trek; Christopher Brandon/Eleanor Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility; Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson, Law & Order SVU; Elisa Maza/Goliath, Gargoyles.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

I don’t really have NoTPs in the fandoms I’ve written in. I have a few NoTPs in general, though, although I’m not listing them here because wow, would I cause some hurt feelings.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

I saw the gifsets from The Wrath of the Lamb, and I saw the name Hannibal Lecter being bandied about, and I fell in love because I’ve loved Hannibal Lecter ever since Red Dragon. I don’t know how I missed out on hearing about the show when it first came out, but holy hell, am I sorry. I’ve been a Fannibal ever since. It was the same story with Gotham. I’d actively avoided Gotham because of the debacle of Smallville, but it was the Nygmobblepot gifs and Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin that finally drew me in.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

Fannibals are fucking awesome, yo. They’re the best thing about the fandom; hell, they *are* the fandom. I love them all, every one. From well-thought out meta to cracked out gifsets to the supportive fanfic community. It’s amazing.

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Because I write, I try not to read a lot, because I don’t want to accidentally crib from someone else’s story, or steal someone else’s idea, because I know what it’s like to pour your life into things.

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Hannibal/Will, Doctor/Rose, and Oswald/Edward

12. Who is your current OT3?

Nine/Jack/Rose. That’s pretty much it.

13. Any NoTPs?

None I’ll share.

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Jim Gordon/Harvey Bullock, and I’m sure there’s more that I can’t think of right now.

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I think I’m probably the only person who actually ships it, but John Winchester/Veronica Mars.

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Destiel. I dislike Destiel with a passion. Ditto Barisi. That’s about it.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Ares/Strife. They’re not my favorite by any means, but I still have a huge soft spot for them.

18. What ship have you written the most about?

uh, probably Clark/Lex or Jim/Blair, just due to the length of time I was in both fandoms.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Destiel and Barisi. They’re popular ships shipped by some people I really like, but I just can’t get behind them. It’s a knee-jerk thing. I can’t even really voice why I dislike them as much as I do, I just do.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Nygmobblepot, actually. I didn’t think I was going to like anything in Gotham, much less the Penguin and the Riddler, but damned if I don’t love it so much I’m actually writing about it as we speak.

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Detested Sport, it was from a Shakespeare quote, I think, and it was Ares/Strife. I think it’s lost to the world, thank fucking God.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Writing? No. Sharing? Yes. It’s called “My Soul’s Imaginary Sight,” and it’s the first time I used an OC, Meravin, who has gone through about a billion evolutions since, and has ended up as a Star Wars OC named Sheridan. I wish I hadn’t shared it, because while it was a definitely needed step in my development as a writer, it’s such a blatant self-insert Mary Sue that I really regret sharing it.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Shoah. It’s a Sentinel fic, written for one of the “Many Faces Of…” edition of My Mongoose e-zines. I think it was MFO Jim. But it’s an AU set during the Holocaust, in one of the concentration camps. It’s not a particularly cheerful story, and the writing process was terrible. I did so much research trying to make it honest to the experience that I spent whole evenings crying in chat windows with my friends Lisa and Patt, who basically hand-held me through the worst of it. But I’m inordinately fond of it, because of the work that went into it, and of how it came out. It’s not my best writing, by a long shot, but I think it’s probably my most emotional and evocative.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

Pretty much everything prior to my Doctor Who fic. I’m very critical of my earlier works.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

A recent one, Consortio, an ABO Hannigram sort-of Medieval-ish handwavey AU.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Quotations, song lyrics, poetry, Shakespeare, sometimes pulled out of my ass.

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

SUMMARIES, JESUS CHRIST, SAVE ME FROM SUMMARIES.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Dealer’s choice, really. I’d just be thrilled for anybody to pick SOMETHING.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

I do not, although I fear I need one for Gotham. It’s more a personal choice than anything else. I’ve got a particular style that doesn’t always mesh well with taking concrit, and while my grammar is very… erratic, at times (stuff it, I love my commas as you can tell), I feel like I should be the arbiter of what I create.

30. What inspires you to write?

Practically anything. Songs, less often. TV shows of the source material, obviously. Movies, sometimes. Random quotes, what ifs, conversations with friends, AU lists, prompt lists, sentence starters…

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

It’s from a writer named Mysenia on my fic Consortio: “All the kudos! Just re-read this story, and I loved it every bit as much as I did the first time :D” Because that’s honestly the first time anyone has mentioned re-reading something of mine in the comment, and it made me so happy for DAYS

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Actually, it depends on what I’m writing. If I’m working on writing sex, then I need dance music, which I usually abhor. I find the Matrix soundtracks work really well, as do Rammstein albums. If I’m doing emotional/angsty things, then Meat Loaf is my go-to. Otherwise, it’s kind of a mish-mash. My music folders are here, on my Google drive, if anyone is really interested in anything I listen to.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Mostly one-shots, although I’ve been known to do a chaptered fic/series once in a while.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

7,706 on “The Masks We Wear.” I’ve got a series of fics that is 35,498, over about fifteen different stories. Consortio and Kastytis are both chaptered, so they don’t count. Consortio is 23,088 and Kastytis is 24,706

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

Strictly 100 word pieces? Not any more. I used to write for drabble challenges, but I can never stay within the word limit any more. If you mean 200 words or less drabble-ishes, then yes, I do write those. About a lot of things, really.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

I’m kind of fond of first-times, although that’s not a given. I don’t tend to stick to any one given genre.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third, unless it’s some VERY special occasion. First person drives me nuts. I love the Hunger Games books, but seeing things as Katniss gives me hives from time to time.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I’ve done both, actually, although 99% of my OC writing stays private. Which is sometimes a pity, because I think I’ve written some pretty good shit with some of my OCs.

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

I don’t know that I really have one.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Staying in character, finishing what I start.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I’m not reading anything right now. Except Stephen King’s IT

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Just five? @slashyrogue, @damnslippyplanet, @granpappy-winchester, @mummyholmesisupset, @moku-youbi

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

@bonearenaofmyskull, @crossroadscastiel, @bu0nanotte, @granpappy-winchester, @moku-youbi

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

All of them.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Home and Dry by @moku-youbi

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Consortio, or Kastytis. They’re both Hannigram AUs, and I feel like they’re the best examples of my writing style.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

AO3 and Wonderful World of Make Believe, where I am woefully behind. But AO3, because I enjoy having everything in one place, easy to use dashboard and posting interface, and it’s pre-sorted for me.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Mostly I do, because I know how valuable the reviews are to writers. I try and speak to what I liked best about the story, or how it moved me.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I don’t want to care, but I do. I want the validation, dammit.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I eased into it by way of RP. Play by email was my thing, and I loved reading threads strung together, which was basically fanfiction. Then a friend of mine introduced me to Ares/Joxer slash, and I’ve just gone from there. I’ve always written it, as long as I can remember, even though I didn’t know that’s what it was called.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

The one thing I hate in the world of fanfiction is the kind of elitism that is absolutely bullshit. As a writer, if you don’t write the pairing du jour, or the kind of thing that the fandom at large is clamoring for (RPF, AU, ABO, ten thousand other different things) then you don’t get a bit of recognition no matter how good you are. Hannibal fandom is the first time that I’ve not seen this. This is the only fandom that I know of where an author can write what they want to write and still be recognized for it.

#ask box #ask me things #ask meme #everything you ever wanted to know about my writing #but were afraid to ask

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mariposalass · 5 years

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Cafe AU Main Post (The Cozy Place Cafe)

Okay, this is probably a big silly long post of nonsense, but I’m really serious about making this Cafe/Coffee Shop AU a thing big time. Having been to my fair share of hanging out in Starbucks, Coffee Bean, and smaller cafes (including my time in college), I can safely say that I would love to imagine an AU where me and many of the fam bunch run a cafe in the awkward love child of FRIENDS, The Office, and Parks and Recreation.

So if you don’t mind the madness that will ensue here, then click and read this thing:

So, Mari’s family runs this cozy cafe for quite a long time in the heart of (insert name of whatever city in the godforsaken world). Harry and Kairi are obviously still adopted into the family, at just ages 9 and 5 respectively here. The cafe’s name is The Cozy Place, lame name based off the Good Place TV show (might change it someday).

The Space Grumps himself, 12th Doc, is the main manager of the joint; sure, he’s a grumpy old Scottish fart who always feels that he’s surrounded by idiots (customers and employees alike whenever they give him a hard time), but he’s quite a lovable goofball once you get to know him more. Loves to listening to rock music (although he wouldn’t let you in on it), wears shades occasionally, awful in being not socially awkward, carries a fob watch at all times, and doesn’t do hugs. He’s basically the kids’ mentor to teach them the ropes and one of the oldest members in the staff.

Kirby is a loyal new employee in charge of cooking food along with Michiru & Ron and taking orders in the afternoon shift, but since he’s new to the job and a little baby, he’s pretty slow on doing his assigned task. And he has a tendency to occasionally eat what food he makes, still, he’ll try to resist the temptation for the most part and is always happy to see customers new and old.

Michiru and Ron handle much of the food preparations like pastries (with the head baker Jacob Kowalski), salads, sandwiches, pastas, soups, and more. Michiru is the Lesbian Team Mom who is kind, friendly, and always there to talk to, though she can be sneaky in speculating the everyday madness within the team, holds shipping guessing games during off hours, and she can handle such madness so much before she could snap back in sharp anger. Her girlfriend Haruka, their friend Setsuna, their foster daughter Hotaru, and the Inner Senshi are regulars to the cafe; sometimes Michiru would give the Outer Senshi something to eat for the day ahead before the next shift starts. Meanwhile, Ron is the witty sarcastic joker who never fails to multitasking the stuff he’s given, although he does have insecurity issues being mostly underappreciated by his own family and he does have concerns over his siblings being more off-kilter than he is (mostly with his older twin brothers Fred and George). It got a little worse when his sister Ginny tried to flirt with Harry and Ron had to reprimand her in front of the public out of concern; since the incident, she has moved from trying to get Harry’s attention to dating an unknown person instead.

Hermione is the dutiful by the books barista who wouldn’t dare to break the rules in everyday life and in work but does do it anyway in mild amounts. One of the well-read of the staff (outside Mari, Philip, the Doctor, and Michiru), has an adorable awkward relationship with Ron, manager of the library in the cafe, and knows nearly all drink recipes by heart and mind.

Harry is the kitchen manager of the cafe: responsible for checking & ordering ingredient supplies and running the kitchen, Team Dad, knows how the business works, normally chill guy to talk to, but man this guy has a temper! He’ll crush you with brutal honesty if you’re being a jerk. Has a crush on Issa (who’s a regular frequenting the place as a journalist working nearby, to which he responds through shy blushing and ducking under the register), best (overprotective) brother to Mari and Kairi, and bad customers & employees’ worst nightmare. Harry never lets them to get away with it and will make bad customers to leave and bad employees to do kitchen chores as a punishment should they get out of line.

Kairi is the resident latte art maker: people never forget the creative doodles she makes on their drinks (thanks to her art degree) & her calligraphy-like way of writing their names in the cups, up and about in fulfilling orders, and always there to give you a smile. Dates Sora the barista, and can be too much of a chatterbox at times.

Sora and Riku also work as baristas: Sora is the adorkable excitable bean and Riku is the calm & collected dude. The kids’ childhood friends, and since Sora & Kairi are dating, Riku will tease the two out of fun and Mari & Harry often join him as well for the same reasons. Sora finds it really awkward to deal with that they’re working altogether under one roof, although Kairi doesn’t seem to mind it in ever.

Marina may only work in the cafe part-time on weekends and holidays and being mute can be an obstacle for her when it comes to getting orders, but she’s a dedicated employee willing to help out, has a patience of a saint, and is quick in taking orders on paper like a soldier at war, although her usual self-sacrificing habit can be taxing on her mental health and it does worry Mari, the cafe staff, and her adopted folks a couple of times. It doesn’t even help that Ventus also works as a part-time employee in the cafe too, which leads to tons of adorable crush moments between the two as they help out the business. Mari’s family wants to make sure that the cafe is safe for everyone to come over and to work in regardless of religion, race, sexuality, disabilities, etc., and especially with Mari being autistic and Harry being a survivor of child abuse. The cafe taking in Marina and a few others further strengthens this belief even more and they are hoping to find and train more employees with disabilities in the near future, as well as treating them right as they do with Marina.

Mari is the assistant manager to the Doctor and the actual heiress to the business, but she’s basically the heart of the group: ensuring that the whole place doesn’t burn and running efficiently as heck. Will mince you with harsh brutally honest words if you dare to cross her, the customers, her family and friends, and everyone else. Quite smart for her age, though her Asperger-induced social awkwardness can be a weak point and it frustrates her a lot.

Philip is another new hire to the cafe and is low key having a noticeable crush on Mari, but he couldn’t spill it out. He and Mari don’t usually see each other often due to him working in a different shift, but there are multiple times when the cafe is understaffed and needs more back up during the more intense rush hours, and he is assigned to the same shift as Mari’s schedule: that’s when sparks do fly between them and it gets adorable and awkward at the same time. Their mutual friend, Theodosia Burr, is a regular taking up Law and she highly suspects that Philip is hiding his feelings towards Mari, hence her constant nagging on him to go on a date with Mari (which is not happening, yet).

Issa, as said above in Harry’s section, is a rising star journalist whose work place is near to the cafe, and that fact is helpful for her whenever she needs to get something to eat or get her coffee fix. Her frequent visits has become more awkward on Harry’s part as he began to develop romantic feelings for her as she does, but he’s such as nervous wreck that he would duck and hide whenever he sees her face to face for longer than he wanted to. Ahk’s her co-worker in the news agency in this AU: not too crazy for coffee but enjoys the ambiance of the place and does like other food & drink offerings as well.

As for everyone else? They’re all cafe regulars, the same applies to nearly all the self shippers and other f/os I know of. Sure, some of them can be rowdy at times, but they’re not that terrible compared to the ruder customers the cafe rarely gets. It’s because the cafe won’t tolerate any crap from the nasty customers and they simply avoided the cafe anyway.

#coffee shop and cafe au #coffee shops and cafes #aus #au #self shipping #self ship #self insert #my f/os #familial f/os #platonic f/os #romantic f/o

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losingsiide-archive-blog · 7 years

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eyyy so ya boi made it to 200!! i think these are still cool? who knows, i’m not hip with the kids. but i made this blog just a few months ago and hit 100 in a few weeks, and now i’m here. honestly coming back to rp after?? god knows how long?? was one of the few good decisions i’ve made. i mean, granted, i made plenty of bad ones afterwards ( skipping class to talk about headcanons, writing 2500+ words in a little under an hour, like 90% of the stuff that makes me cool ) but it was well worth it. i came into the sherlock rp community cautiously, honestly expecting to leave within two weeks, but i’ve made some really good friends who are incredibly important to me. i love them a lot you guys.

RAIN MARS INSERT SHITTY JOKE HERE,

so. i’ve talked about kacie a thousand times, i know i don’t have to. you guys know how much i love her. but i say it because it’s important. kacie and i built a friendship off of loving each other and rolling our eyes at everyone else; at the end of the day, she’s who i have. she’s my best friend, my soulmate, my partner in far too many bad decisions but all of my good ones, the only person who call my on my bullshit and encourages me to be my saltiest self in the same breath. for three years, i’ve gotten nothing but love and support from her. so please excuse my outward affection, all the appreciation posts, all the replies on her munday photos and every ooc post, how i yell about rain to people who don’t even know who kacie is, i’m just trying to make up for three years of her doing the same for me. nobody else can make me laugh like she does, the kind that leaves me gasping for air and smiling so hard my entire face hurts, and nobody else can make me go from angry and annoyed and frustrated to flopping over onto my bed and pressing my face into a pillow because her anger at whatever is bothering me, no matter how small or how little she knows about it, makes my chest hurt from all the love. so just, like, let me have this. even though she’s gonna read this and call me gay, and i’ll tell her i’m just gay for her, and she’ll send me a heart and i’ll send her one and know i made her smile, and that will be enough // @fxrechild

MY ENGLAND MOM, MARTHA,

i guess i should probably start at the beginning. sophie was my first friend in the fandom. my rp blogs don’t last long without partners to write with. i get bored easily. so to everyone who likes my blog, everyone i met after sophie, you have her to thank for my being here. sophie let me rant to her about headcanons i had barely developed, back when i had even less of a grasp on sherlock than i do now. she was my rp partner, and then somewhere along the way she became a lot more than that. she’s a teacher. if there’s one thing i’ve learned in all my years, all sixteen of them ( guys help i’m so old ), it’s that teachers are very much born. it’s not an occupation, it’s a type of person. sophie just happens to be employed as a teacher as well as being one. i know i’m not making sense so let me explain: few people are capable of the warmth that sophie displays, and even fewer are capable of directing it towards someone so far away, and then, once you have that, you have to actually be able to teach something. for sophie, it’s how to care. sophie is, without a doubt, the first person i think of when someone says compassion or kindness or love. she’s there for me when i’m anxious, sad, upset, but she’s there for the good times too, for all the smiles and the laughter, and she never misses a beat. i said once that she was family and that still stands. some people are just too important to simply say ‘friend’ // @adler-thewoman

MY ANGST QUEEN SUPREME,

i’m half-tempted to leave it at that, actually. i swear, allison has made cry as many times as she’s made me smile. allison is incredibly involved in her character. she understands abigail in a way that shocks me every day, but it makes her wonderful to talk to. her dedication to her character is, in short, absolutely beautiful to see. allison is absolutely beautiful to see in general. she’s chill as hell, which is great for days when i’m too tired to do much else but talk about sherlock and abigail being cute together. she doesn’t get nearly enough sleep but that’s okay; it means she’s always awake when i need her. allison is, in every respect, one of the best listeners i have ever had the pleasure of being friends with. whether it’s long-winded headcanons about our muses or just my irl problems, she’s here, ready to talk. and when i need time alone, she understands. i can’t explain how important that is. being able to listen, to understand, these are skills i’ve struggled with my whole life and allison makes it look easy. when i’ve had a long day and i want quiet, chill time, she’s who i go to. my gratitude for her patience and time can’t be expressed in words // @suumuxor

MY ACTUAL IRL ANGEL,

i don’t actually write with jack all that much. jack isn’t someone i have to write with to maintain our friendship. there’s genuine affection here. when i come home, when i’m sad, when i wake up, he’s the person i go to. i couldn’t tell you why to save my life. i’ve tried a thousand times, written jack novels about why he means so much to me, but it’s the kind of thing i can’t put into words. but i’ll try one more time. half the time he’s making a joke, the other half he’s being one of the most affectionate people i’ve ever met. i can’t think of what i could have done to earn his singular love, so i assume he’s like that with everyone. as funny as he is, as much as he makes me laugh and roll my eyes in equal measure, it’s that ridiculously thoughtful, caring part that fascinates me. i still haven’t quite figured jack out, but i’m gonna. i guess until then, that’s my excuse to keep talking to him // @psychopatx

MY PERSONAL RAY OF SUNSHINE,

every day i call her my sunshine and every day she tells me i’m wrong. i wonder when she’s gonna figure out that i’ve never been so right about anything. zoe is an amazing person. incredibly strong and determined, intelligent as hell and passionate about what she does. she loves mary like i love her, and that’s saying a lot. even without knowing i’m in a bad mood or in a bad place, she cheers me up, and has never failed to do so. being around her is like being outside in the perfect weather in your favorite place. it’s impossible to not feel better when you talk to her. she’s such a beautiful person, insanely caring and always ready to help her friends. she cares so deeply for the people she chooses to surround herself with, and never fails to make me feel loved, which is hard to do. if i can be half of what she is to me, i’ll consider myself a success // @traiinedassassiin

&& MY PARTNER IN MY SLOW DESCENT TO HELL.

sometimes michelle is indistinguishable from john watson. i haven’t told her this yet, but sometimes she says things or does things and i sit back and wonder if that’s why she’s so good at writing him. here’s the thing about john watson: sherlock pulls a lot of bullshit. he does a lot of stupid things, he’s a ridiculous man with mood swings like hell, but john puts up with it. not only does he put up with it, he loves sherlock. and that’s a lot like michelle. i do a lot of ridiculous things. i get anxious for no reason, sad over small things, i have mood swings like hell, but michelle is right there. always calm, always telling me to talk to her about it instead of letting it get all bottled up. michelle is balancing on that thin line between caring and commanding, which can really throw me off sometimes when she tells me to talk to her and yes, i want to, but she’s also very hard to say no to in general. so maybe that’s why i keep writing sin and further cementing my place in hell. it’s here i have to point out that while writing this, michelle saw fit to send me absolute filth from a johnlock fic, so she’s going down with me. but back to my point. michelle is the most patient person i have met. she deals with me at my worst and somehow comes out of it still sane and wanting me around, and i don’t quite think i can express how important that is to me // @julietthotelwhiskey

and a note from the author. i have argued and will continue to argue that roleplaying is about one thing: people. it’s people who like writing, yes, but it’s people. we’ve all fallen into this odd little hobby together, so we may as well make friends. my bias list is short because it’s honest; the people above are people i genuinely care about, and i will continue caring about them as long as they allow me to, or as long as i am meant to, whichever comes last. i have five ( yeah, fuck kacie ) IM conversations open right now. little icons on the side of my dash and i can’t tell you how big my smile is when one of my friends messages me. so let yourself make ridiculously close friends through this dumb little hobby, because knowing that someone cares about you for you is one of the most rewarding things in life, far better than having good graphics or formatting or hell, even being the best writer.

that’s all, folks. <3

#―♚ ❝ why do you write like you're running out of time? ‣‣‣ OOC.#fxrechild #adlerthewoman #suumuxor #psychopatx #traiinedassassiin #julietthotelwhiskey #y'all i cried six times writing this #i just really love my friends okay

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redscullyrevival · 7 years

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The Beekeeper’s Apprentice: Mary Russell Rundown

Oh boy oh boy I do love a good bump and dig into Holmes canon - especially if it has the potential to ruffle male fans! @sonnetscrewdriver knows me so well.

Plot/Setting/Narrative

So what’s the live or die, sink or swim, aspect of a non-Conan Doyle Sherlock-like tale?

Surly its not Sherlock’s characterization.

A child can get Sherlock right.

Is it the mystery? Is it the logical detective steps or flights of barely believable deductive ability key to the kingdom?

Nah.

While the ride is important and a big draw most every Sherlock versed individual typically learns not to put their eggs in that widely inconsistent basket.

How about the narrative expression explaining and driving the Sherlock-like things in the story?

You friggin’ bet ya! That’s the important stuff.

And Laurie King can certainly write a Sherlock-like narrative!

Holy hell.

King is as close to emulating a Doyle style narrative I’ve ever personally read but injects it with a wonderfully feminine perspective.

And not overtly flowery and romantic lyrical male-writing-feminine but feminine in the ways important to a Sherlock-like story; in the detail observations our Mary Russell is often to share.

The cases I feel could be a bit tighter other than the Kidnapping of Jessica which was surprisingly moving and really when I started to connect to Mary.

Mary Russell

The elephant in the room, “is Mary Russell a Mary Sue?”

I don’t really care but very brief digging has resulted in learning many people do.

Personally I think the best and most important thing to know about Mary Russell and by extension her creator is that on the official website there is a downloadable PDF titled “Information for the Writer of Mary Russell Fan Fiction” and is 17 pages of free organized information for fic writers and fans.

That’s simply beautiful.

Seems to me Laurie King knows what shes fuckin’ about and what she owes in debt.

And I don’t care if Mary Russell is viewed as some sad woman power fantasy by a wider Sherlock fanbase - but I won’t necessarily argue that she isn’t that either.

Mary Russell most certainly is a Mary Sue as viewed by some people and the argument is easily kindled.

And that’s not inherently bad is it? A little frustrating as its pretty obvious female characters get labeled Mary Sue disproportionately to male ones, to the point where there is no doubt in my mind that if Mary Russell were simply Russell hardly anyone would question or doubt his ability or companionship with Sherlock.

To get to the point:

I think Mary Russell is many things and like Sherlock as a character is adaptable to many reader views and interpretations - and ultimately its the controversy and wider discussion of her that makes Russell “valuable”.

I also think a big clue into the author’s intent with the character has to do with how her gender is discussed and made pronounced in text.

If Mary Russell never questioned her abilities or strength or worth as tied to her being a female in a very (very) male narrative space both within the one presenting her as well as the history of the character(s) she is tied to then the “Mary Sue” argument would have a lot more ground to claim, but as it is I am of the opinion that Mary Russell is meant to be a bit much and slightly antagonistic to what readers understand and unquestioningly accept regarding Sherlock and Sherlock canon.

I’m also pretty certain she is meant to be just a good time as well!

Lots of humor and love in this first book and it’s easy to like Mary, it really is, and while she initially comes off a bit pious as her story goes on she becomes more honest and open with her readers.

The first person narrative is uncharacteristically Sherlock and probably what drives a lot of “Mary Sue” arguments I’d imagine (“It reeks of self-insert!”) but works well enough and allows us insights into Mary we need.

Sherlock Holmes

This is a good Sherlock.

Very much a woman’s Sherlock.

And I mean that in the nicest way possible and not a comment on the impending romance.

‘Cause it’s going to happen and I might as well come to terms with it.

I’m actually really upset how okay I am with it to be completely honest.

I’m a romantic turd and I’m a sucker for relationships rooted in trust and belief in the other’s abilities so for me the impending romance (which is more “Mary Sue!” fodder and actually probably the biggest sore spot for anti-Russell folks I bet) is a combination of irritate and excitement.

Sherlock has always been an attractive figure for a lot of people - the age old “Smart is Sexy” at work.

I am one such people.

Very much a Spock vibe with Sherlock amirte???

The aloof disengaged approach to viewing relationships and emotional response paired with the logic and brains makes those characters someone you’d reallllly enjoy seeing crack (hence how their common and intense pairing with their closest ((of happen to be male)) confidants is so deeply satisfying).

The age gaps between Mary and Holmes is intense though innit?

YIKES.

A part of me wants to wax and wane on how irritating that is but then another part of me is practical and knows I can a.) ignore it b.) can’t help BUT ignore it because Holmes has the permanent visual image of stinkin’ Jeremy Brett in my traitor mind and I’m cool with watching him snog just about anyone!

So.

Hard to get up in arms about that really.

A third part of me also doesn’t give a shit.

Why am I so certain romance will bloom?

Because this is a woman’s Sherlock and I don’t mean that then obviously romance must present its self but what I mean is that this Sherlock isn’t alien and convinced that romantic feelings are unintelligent.

Kind of hard to explain but know it comes from years and years of reading various Sherlock Holmes fan fiction from various Sherlock Holmes properties and I know a “female holmes” when I see one.

Eh, I’m not explaining this well I’m loosing steam here but yeah.

*shrugs*

I’m not being negative!

Highlighted Passages

“As both I and the century approach the beginnings of our ninth decades, I have been forced to admit that age is not always a desirable state. The physical, of course, contributes its own flavour to life, but the most vexing problem I have found is that my past, intensely real to me, has begun to fade into the mists of history in the eyes of those around me.”

So, yes, I freely admit that my Holmes is not the Holmes of Watson. To continue with the analogy, my perspective, my brush technique, my use of colour and shade, are all entirely different from his. The subject is essentially the same; it is the eyes and the hands of the artist that change.

He was, as the writers say but people seldom actually are, openmouthed.

It was none other than the long-suffering Mrs. Hudson, whom I had long considered the most underrated figure in all of Dr. Watson’s stories. Yet another example of the man’s obtuseness, this inability to know a gem unless it be set in gaudy gold.

“Youth does not inspire confidence, in life or in stories, as I found to my annoyance when I set up residence in Baker Street.”

“I suppose you know I was prepared to hate him,” I said finally. “Oh yes.” “I can see why you kept him near you. He’s so…good, somehow. Naïve, yes, and he doesn’t seem terribly bright, but when I think of all the ugliness and evil and pain he’s known… It’s polished him, hasn’t it? Purified him.” “Polished is a good image. Seeing myself reflected in Watson’s eyes was useful when contemplating a case that was giving me problems. He taught me a great deal about how humans function, what drives them. He keeps me humble, does Watson.” He caught my dubious look. “At any rate, as humble as I can be.”

Looking back, I think that the largest barrier to our association was Holmes himself, that inborn part of him that spoke the language of social customs, and particularly that portion of his makeup that saw women as some tribe of foreign and not-entirely-trustworthy exotics.

It was a mad time, and looked at objectively was probably the worst possible situation for me, but somehow the madness around me and the turmoil I carried within myself acted as counterweights, and I survived in the centre.

It was the same, but I was different, and I wondered for the first time if I was going to be able to carry it off, if I could join these two utterly disparate sides of my life.

“Thank you, Mr. Holmes, I hope—” She looked down. “If my fears are correct, I have married a traitor. If I am wrong, I am myself guilty of traitorous thoughts against my husband. There is no win here, only duty.” Holmes touched her hand and she looked up at him. He smiled with extraordinary kindness into her eyes. “Madam, there is no treachery in the truth. There may be pain, but to face honestly all possible conclusions formed by a set of facts is the noblest route possible for a human being.”

“Are you telling me the butler did it?” “I’m afraid it does happen. Shall we search the woods for the débris?”

“It is, I can even say, a new and occasionally remarkable experience to work with a person who inspires, not by vacuum, but by actual contribution.”

Somehow me Da’ had raised a drunken mob in this tiny place, had summoned thick voices in song, and was driving them down the lane with the goad of his mad fiddle—a magnificent Welsh chorus, singing Christmas carols, in English, in an infinitesimal Welsh village, on a warm August night. Suddenly nothing seemed impossible, and as if the thought had loosed the house from stasis there was movement within.

“Is it always so grey and awful at the end of a case?” He didn’t answer me for a minute, then rose abruptly and stood looking down the road towards the house with the plane trees. When he looked around at me there was a painful smile on his lips. “Not always. Just usually.” “Hence the cocaine.” “Hence, as you say, the cocaine.”

The amazed adoration in her eyes was too much. I pulled her to me so I did not have to look at it. Her hair smelt musky-sweet, like chamomile. I held her, and she began to cry, weeping oddly like a woman rather than a young child, while I rocked us both gently in silence. In a few minutes she drew a shuddering breath and stopped. “Better?” She nodded her head against my chest. I smoothed her hair. “That’s what tears are for, you know, to wash away the fear and cool the hate.” As I suspected, that last word triggered a reaction. She drew back and looked at me, her eyes blazing. “I do hate them. Mama says I don’t, but I do. I hate them. If I had a gun I’d kill them all.” “Do you think you really would?” She thought for a moment, and her shoulders slumped. “Maybe not. But I’d want to.”

“Yes. They are hateful men, who did something horrid to you and hurt your parents. I’m glad you wouldn’t shoot them, because I shouldn’t want you to go to gaol, but you go ahead and hate them. No one should ever do what they did. They stole you and hit you and tied you up like a dog. I hate them too.” Her jaw dropped at so much raw emotion aired. “Yes, I do, and you know what I hate them for most? I hate them for taking away your happiness. You don’t trust people now, do you? Not like you did a few weeks ago. A six-year-old girl oughtn’t to be frightened of people.”

“You were brave, you were intelligent, you were patient. And as you say, it isn’t really over yet, and you’re going to have to be brave and intelligent and patient for a while longer, and wait for the anger and the fear to settle down. They will.” (And the nightmares? my mind whispered.) “Not right away, and they’ll never go away completely, but they’ll fade. Do you believe me?” “Yes. But I’m still very angry.” “Good. Be angry. It’s right to be angry when someone hurts you for no reason. But do you think you can try not to be too afraid?” “To be angry and—happy?” The incongruity obviously appealed to her. She savoured it for a moment and jumped to her feet. “I’m going to be angry and happy.”

No, I refuse to accept gallant stupidity in place of rational necessity.

“I dislike the idea of a murderer employing children,” said Holmes darkly. “It is, I agree, bad for their morals, and interferes with their sleep.”

The more I thought about it, the curiouser it became. What kind of human being would need a refuge capable of sustaining life in a siege?

“Good God, Holmes, where have you been to pick up such a stench? Down on the docks, obviously, and from your feet I should venture to say you’d been in the sewers, but what is that horrid sweet smell?” “Opium, my dear protected child.”

“The admission then caused me some shame. But, that was half a lifetime ago, and since then I have learnt, slowly, and painfully, that time and distance can prove a powerful weapon.”

The thought of telling someone, and having to see their face afterward, had always clamped my mouth down on the words, but now, to my exquisite horror and relief, I heard the words trickle from my mouth.

“I was merely going to say that I hope you realise that guilt is a poor foundation for a life, without other motivations beside it.”

#The Beekeeper’s Apprentice #year of book #fandom talks #Russell and Holmes

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mizjoely · 7 years

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Because insomnia has beset me yet again, I present a recap (strictly from memory) of (mostly) busted theories and speculation I remember from before the first two episodes aired (and a couple of things people got right), in no particular order. (Oh, and feel free to toss things on that I may have missed!)

Someone dies!

Unfortunately anyone who guessed “Mary” and “because of canon” was right.

DI Stella Hopkins is “obviously” a love interest for Sherlock (or Molly). Or possibly a mirror for Sherlock because of the way she dresses.

Welp, we only got a coupe of scenes with her in TST and she interacted more with Gavin Greg than anyone else so any “love interest” possibilities will have to be strictly fanon. As for the way she was dressed...gosh, a woman DI dressing in a professional manner shouldn’t really be such a surprise to people. (Yes, I’m rolling my eyes on the “yet another woman claimed to be a mirror for one of the male leads” theory.)

Oh, and “Mary is ‘obviously’ a mirror for Sherlock because she has curly hair and is wearing a suit in the promo pics.”

I just put this in here to roll my eyes at it, to be honest. Sorry not sorry if that offends anyone.(That holds true for ANY ‘insert female character name here’ is a mirror for John or Sherlock BS.)

““What’s the very worst thing you can do to your very best friends? Tell them your darkest secret.” Culverton Smith is talking to Sherlock (or possibly John).

Seriously, how could ANYONE have guessed he wasn’t talking to any of the regular cast, but was instead about to reveal his own dark secret to a bunch of his friends (and his daughter) while they were being drugged with an amnesiac?

The scenes with the Black Ops team is a memory/flashback from Mary’s past!

Also one folks got right. Go Mary, you badass!

Sherlock in the morgue looking stricken/distraught is because he’s seeing the dead body of John/Molly/Mycroct/someone who died because it was his (Sherlock’s fault)

It’s because he never met Smith’s actual daughter and he was freaking out about it

The line of nurses is a memory/mind palace scene/flashback to Sherlock being in some sort of institution. Bonus: One of the nurses is Mary (after TST: Mary isn’t really dead!)

The nurses were real, no, Mary wasn’t one of them, it had nothing (directly) to do with Sherlock at all.

The scene with the people with the IVs in the middle of the street was a mind palace scene/memory/flashback, and they were patients of some kind and it was connected to the nurses.

It was a mental reconstruction of something Sherlock had been told and related to a case, and it was connected to the nurses, but who could have possibly guessed it was Culverton Smith’s friends and daughter being given a drug to wipe their memories?

Sherlock is eating chips with a woman! She must be his love interest! No, she’s a client! She’s Victor Trevor! She’s Harry Watson AND possibly Sherlock’s love interest (he’s been romantically linked to another self-declared lesbian, after all)! It’s not a real scene, it’s a mind palace scene!

Kudos to all who insisted it must be a client, but of course no one guessed it was Culverton Smith’s daughter.

They’re filming in a church, it must be John and Sherlock’s wedding! No, it’s a christening!

Well, we all know which of those two theories was true.

The sillhouetted figure in a hospital room is John and the person in the bed is Sherlock.

Yup, that one was true. Of course some folks thought it was Smith and some folks thought the person in the bed was Mary, even after she’d been killed (in that case it was “because she didn’t really die” and MAN do I wish that guess had been true!)

John is slamming Sherlock up against the wall in the morgue scene because it’s his fault Mary died.

Sadly this one was true as well.

“Thatcher. Sherrinford. Smith.” Thatcher will have to do with Margaret Thatcher, Sherrinford has something to do with “The Oher One” and “Smith” means “Culverton Smith” from “The Dying Detective”

Yes on all three counts. This was actually the easiest of the one-word clues they’ve given us, at least in my opinion.

This doesn’t technically belong on this list because it’s not based on trailers or setlock, but what the heck: The baby will be named fill-in-the-blank (my personal favorite was Isabelle).

Seriously, I don’t think I saw Rosamund or Rose as a name for the Watson baby in any of the fics I read, but I do recall at teast on Sherlolly baby with that name. My crack theory on that is that Moftiss had an intern scour a bunch of fics and make a list of names people guessed so they could eliminate them from contention.

Also, I don’t think anyone guessed that “Mary” was actually part of Mary’s real name. Or that she named the baby after herself! I love that she did because hey, men name their sons after themselves all the time, why shouldn’t women do the same?

The burning house in one of the trailers is Sherlock’s parents’ house.

That one was quickly debunked and has been replaced by speculation that it’s Sherrinford, the place where Eurus was being held, which remains to be seen.

The third Holmes ‘brother’ is actually a sister.

Awesome job on that one, everyone who guessed it!

And last but not least on this rambling list... “The Kiss will happen in this season.”

Well, so far it’s two strikes on THAT theory.

The women will have larger roles this season because of Sherlock’s speech at the end of TAB (and Mycroft’s assertion that “this is a war we have to lose because we are wrong”).

Mary had a lot to do both before and after she died. Molly so far has been shown to be important in John and Sherlock’s lives by being named one of baby Rose’s godmothers, and by being the one Sherlock asks to bring an ambulance to John’s therapist’s house. And come ON, who could have possibly guessed it was Hudders behind the wheel of the Aston Martin? Or that she’d have Sherlock handcuffed in the trunk? That bit was bloody BRILLIANT! And the Big Bad is not only a woman but also a Holmes, what’s not to love about that?

On the other hand...Molly’s only had one scene per episode so far (well, two very small ones in TST and one longer one in TLD). Not nearly enough, in my opinion!

Sherlock is faking his illness/drug use in TLD because he did so in “The Dying Detective”.

Alas, he was actually using, albeit under Wiggins’ supervision.

Sherlock gets some kind of conditional/temporary pardon because of the Moriarty broadcast (yes, this wasn’t a setlock/triailer speculation, but it’s something we all feverishly theorized about), and we’ll see a lot of detail on it because it’s so important considering how HLV and TAB ended.

LOL LOL LOL Nope, Mycroft fakes some footage so it looks like Sherlock didn’t actually shoot Magnussen and instead a trigger-happy anonymous Spec Ops soldier did. Sherlock gets a free pass and goes his merry way.

And related to that...the Moriarty case will be front and center from the very start!

Yeah, about that...and seriously, did Sherlock actually mean it when he said “And I know what he’s going to do next” at the end of TAB? Because unless the answer is “absolutely nothing for a long-ass time” he was full of crap.

OK, that’s it for now. If I think of others I’ll revise this post. And again, if you have your own “no one called it/we totally called it” moments, please feel free to add them to this!

Sherlock looking all wild-eyed and pointing a gun at someone/something in his flat is actually him in his mind palace. (Hell, ANY guess of “mind palace” since virtually every scene was labeled “possible mind palace” at one point or another).

Nope, it was real. And it was him shooting at his case wall out of drug-fueled frustration. And who the HELL could have guessed he’d be quoting Shakespeare whilst doing so? Dayum!!

#s4 spoilers #s4 speculation from before tst aired

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abigailabbyallen · 6 years

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Hi. Thanks for visiting! I’m abby 🙂 … I dabble in drawing, photography, and various conglomerations of the two. call these things “Art,” call these things pseudo “art-esque” doodlings, call them “art, my-arse” utterly meaningless deductive drivvel. Call it what you will, essentially. But-Whatever sort-of image happens to strikes your soul, your fancy, your heart, your whatever part that most purely resonates-like a bell ringing true deep within you- i think this is real art. And whatever rare, precious image takes you aback, leaves you in awe, or just genuinely makes you feel, anything at all- in a way that stirs some lost, forgotten, or yet-to-be-discovered beauty deep within you to awaken, to be-moved, to arise wide-eyed from the darkling still of our soul’s dimminuendo towards sleep- i think this, too, must be true art. I think it’s a question of who you are and what captivates you- what invokes a sense of connection, awakens a feeling, causing some hardened-part of your heart to crack- just a little…just enough to let a little light shine-on… You crazy diamond, you : ) When an image intuitively resonates with you, in a way that, for a few seconds at least, alters the shape and shifts the light of your inner landscape…making you feel something, or anything more deeply, i call that art. My underlying issue here, is that i could never just proclaim myself to be an “artist.” It’s not really a self-issued title, i don’t think. or a “Hello! I’m ____” fill-in the blank sticky-label. But people do it. A lot… Maybe i need a healthier ego. Or maybe i need to stop quibbling over abstract semantics & direct my squabbling towards greater concerns; it might be nice if, like maybe we could eventually get-around to freeing Tibet…just for example. But i mean, god-forbid no-rush or anything. Just- nevermind. You get my point… again, a big thank-you to everyone (if indeed, there is anyone) which i realize there probably isn’t, and i’m talking (like a mental patient) to myself, and to no one… But! I’d like to hope that somewhere out-there listening is ONE…just ONE, similarly strange, singularly lovely, and utterly extraordinary SOMEbody. YOU ‘Somebody,’ mean more to me than ANYbody, So thanks, buddy 🙂 .abby :.

“…still, what i want in my life- is to be willing to be dazzled. To cast aside the weight of facts, and maybe, perhaps- to float just slightly above this difficult world.” Mary Oliver

hi there, and welcome! kind and curious stranger. i’m abby 🙂

thanks so much for stopping-by. …Here’s some of my artwork : ) and my many, many (indeed, perhaps- TOO many…?) pretty-random thoughts and feelings, …expressed predominantly in Rhyme. Yes. I repeat: i have an unconscious tendency to slip into what i desperately hope can sometimes sound pseudo-poetic, but what i suspect comes-across as more DR. Suess-like rhyme-speak. Now, you might be asking yourself “i beg your pardon?” Or “what on Earth is this girl even talking-about?” or some variant thereof. And trust me, i’m right there with ya. I hear you and i empathize completely. I just wish i could help you-out. I really, really do.

So here is my official “fair forewarning” beginning with a disclaimer: sometimes when i write, i start unconsciously rhyming all my sentences. It can get weird sometimes… that’s the worst-of it: you might think “this is weird,” which in-turn might make you feel similarly weird and slightly awkward reading it. At best, it’s mad-genius. At other-times, it is… quirky? devil-may-care whimsical? manic-pixie-esque self-actualized? um… i don’t know, cute? […please mentally insert appropriate adjective of your choosing, here: ____ ] oh, i almost forgot to add the requisite “it isn’t my fault” line. Ha. no but seriously, it’s not. it just seems to happen. its like a nervous tic, or a lisp…a silently typed “typo”-version of an insthurmountable, insthidious insthatiable lisp. Right… so it’s a bit like a lisp. except not at-all… for extremely obvious reasons. most notably: because, instead of having a truly adorable speech impediment due to a massive overbite that is nonetheless doomed to be obliterated by an absurdly expensive onslaught of orthodontic medieval torture at some point during childhood, i have already HAD braces. tra-la-la. But, more importantly, my issue has absolutely nothing to do with lisps or braces but with an insatiable, mostly unconscious, tendency to fall into Dr. Suess style rhyme-scheme whenever i write with some lofty, overarching intention (the irony here has not eluded-me) of attempting to express something i feel deeply and/or passionately about- regarding things i believe, or how i see certain things,or a part of myself that feels somehow inextricably entwined with the roots of something much greater and wiser than i could ever be. So, basically whenever i desperately want to communicate a real and honest feeling to other people- i tiptoe-backwards in time to a memory of some half-whispered song and an oceanic sway, where things felt safe- in that rhythmic to-and-fro place of breath, heartbeats, all in-sync with Kaos and harmonized with some great Symphony. So, here is a final, friendly fair-forewarning: There Will Be Rhymes.

and so, this is probably the reason why, sometimes, i wish words just didn’t exist- that we could rely on some other, silent form of communication. Like… we could converse via full-body dance charades, or we could speak – but only in Middle English, and only vicariously through sock-puppet avatars, or life could be one epic game of meta-pictionary, or, we’d learn to communicate via silent emanations of Soul-Speak; intuitively conjuring symbolic imagery through some combination of creative forces, like whatever maybe happens in a college “Improv 101” class… except we’d learn to cast ciphers in shadows by firelight, on a stage in some surreal dreamlike theatre infamous for its dedication to a single show, something with a strange and alluringly avant-garde title like, “In The Silence of Ciphers: Plato’s Cave of Shadow Puppetry.” But sometimes i just wish i could hear, for a little-while at-least, that truly ancient and long-lost Silence. Before Man came along with language and his constant chatter of words, and seeing-as how divinely complete the whole celestial orchestra seemed to be, the cosmic design of harmonic synchronicity (they had it all-down to a perfect T) we just couldn’t resist. We HAD to ruin-it, with our out-of-sync and off-key lil’ doggerel ditty- our dying cattle, death-rattle-like cry, resounding straight-up to Quintessence and back- in atonal unhindered cacophony:

We just had to shatter that silence.

So there you have it. Sigh… epically. (One must ALWAYS sigh epically.)

anyway, i hope you enjoy my art (and aren’t too terribly irritated by all my silly writing, pseudo-poems and general glossolalia). But i’d love-it if you stayed awhile and took a look around. I hope you leave here in a better mood than when you first entered. I suppose that’s probably a part of what i’m hoping to do here. because sometimes, feeling “better,” or even, sometimes… just trying to stay in the relative-range of “basically okay for the time-being,” are not always so easily grasped. Especially without other peoples’ help. so, i wish you the very best of luck- wherever you are out-there in this wildly bewildering world, wandering the earth with all the rest of us strange, beautiful monsters. again, thanks so much 🙂 – abby *

Note: This is a poem. Hence, the rhyming-thing is entirely intentional. Just in-case you started getting nervous 🙂 We may so often glimpse, but so rarely can we hold these ciphers cast in amber-fire dayglo. shadows perceived as mere hypnagogic echo-light , for insight speaks a language known only by the soul- symbols still-framed in flash-bulb brilliance- like a moth’s dazzled gasp, or a pale-fire ghost, hoping to re-ignite those wide-eyed-fires our hearts ache for the most. those things we had that made us happy, so very long ago, those things we lost somewhere back there, or left behind? cast aside? Did we spare a blink before releasing our hold? were we ever SO young- too young to regret our unscathed hearts yet to start bleeding,

when we were whole, unbearably light, and life felt breathless and beating, and there was a restless beauty awaiting discovery, a sense of grace in all of life’s unknown- but now looking-back, we shoulda coulda woulda really wished we’d known: that there are parts of life you must cherish- certain things you don’t let-go …and the rest of life? These other things are best held lightly- all-things fade, “mono no aware,” “this too shall pass,” so “go with the flow,” read “the art of letting-go,” learn to distinguish the sound of your voice from impostors of ego. but amidst all of this letting, losing, going, flow, there’s one thing our hands must hold, never let Who-You-Are fade-away or slip from your grasp, keep it clasped tight to your chest- because once it’s gone, you can’t get-it back. It’s these precious unspeakables that slip-away so silently, without the slightest “peep,” this moment of our heart’s detachment,

the moment we stop “Seeing” and the soul falls asleep, but some of us get lucky enough to fall- fast and far so finally to break (it has to be hard to re-start the heart and slap-us awake) That’s when we get that second chance- numbness gives way to melancholy, a newfound “dust as quintessence,” kind-of human empathy. an empty ache shaped by the contours of absence. That’s the Happy Ending, anyway. But its the only end i can envision, for some it takes a lifetime, to end at “Happy” once again- ….for others, merely an instant: a disaster, a loss, some miracle or gobbstopping vision, and that’s all it takes for us to fall, to break, to splinter like a singular beam of pure-white light suddenly crashing through a prism- to awaken as from a dream fractured- a kaleidoscopic collision a rainbow awaits at the end of every catastrophe, to glean from the wreckage still-reeling- its the BEAUTIFUL DISASTER reflected in our mirrorball shattered that bewilders and delights and creates us anew blinking-awake with the dazzle of light that seems to illuminate, or even originate- somewhere inside you. in the end, what we deem “True” is at the mercy of hope- a force that is truly unstoppable- for at heart, we’re all visionaries, creators, and dreamers

our imaginations careen beyond logics’ brink to dream the impossible- So-moved are we all by these God-lights colossal, that we can let-go for awhile of our “all-too-human” hold on so-called truths before we turn towards the unbounded numinal- to spin-up and out of ourselves in becoming something Chimerical something weightless, winged and Greater than ourselves overtaken by wildness once-more for a momentary miracle, as brightly-glanced will-o-the-wisps, wild and flying in breathless hope upwards, Up, Out. and Gone- with wild-eyes’ hypnotized in hope and blinding bright-sight of the Luminal.. Boo-ya. i.e. “The End.” And Now . . . More Artwork. By Me. Abby.

Quoth The Raven, ” Why, Hello Lenore.

The Abandoned Planet of Microscopia

Empathy

” Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage-Rage, Against the Dying of The Light. ”

-Dylan Thomas

“There is no language for our pain…only a moan.” -Jerome k. Jerome

“Mono no Aware”

” this is the root of the root, and the bud of the bud

and the sky of a sky,

of this tree called life- which grows, higher than mind can hide or soul can hold. and this is the wonder that is keeping the stars apart- i carry your heart ( i carry it in my heart) ” – e.e. cummings

Hope…

Hullabaloo. Hi. Thanks for visiting! I’m abby 🙂 … I dabble in drawing, photography, and various conglomerations of the two.

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oc-review-shop · 6 years

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Love Live! School Idol Project OC Review

Review by: Mod Charle

Sorry I took so long to get out another review! This one has 8 girls to critique, so it was quite a bit more work.

Anyways, I really love the designs for the characters so far. They are fairly unique and the art is amazing. There is a good balance between flashy designed characters and simple designed characters, but be careful with this because if the simple designed characters have bland personalities, they will be overlooked.

Hisa Chiba

Hisa is a first year who has always dreamed to be a school idol and knows nearly everything there is to know about them.

Same man, wow so relatable.

She likes to act like a cutesy girl and wants the whole world to fall in love with her charm! She can be a bit oblivious at times, but she means well and wants to learn even more from her own journey to become a famous school idol. She’s childhood friends with Tsuki and likes to wear the accessories she makes for her since it helps boost her confidence in herself.

I’m happy there is actual correlation between the character description and design. Her design has her wearing a clip and bead hairties, which would be accessories done by Hisa’s friend Tsuki.

She looks up to her senior Megumi, who is always a reliable math tutor for when Hisa stays up too late practicing and falls behind in class.

CV: Yukari Tamura

Yukari Tamura is queen. Hisa’s look definitely goes well with Yukari Tamura’s voice and I think this is a very good choice.

I feel like Hisa is a very original character already, meaning her personality is different from the other love live characters. Although, if I had to choose, I would say she is most similar to Nico.

Akina Kamenashi

Akina is a second year who is able to be good at pretty much anything.

I wish

School or its extracurriculars aren’t too difficult for her; she just wants something more. Upon hearing of school idols, she was surprised that she couldn’t master it right away and was intrigued into forming a group in order to push herself. She has endless optimism for what this experience will bring for her and her new friends alike!

Keeping the trend, the girl who forms the school idol group is a second year student, which I think is fine. Her reason to make an idol group is different from the canon characters, which I like a lot.

CV: Nao Toyama

Another queen. And like Hisa, Nao Toyama’s voice fits very well for Akina’s design. One thing I would like to bring up, however, is Akina’s personality. It is extremely generic for a main character and is too similar to Honoka and Chika. This isn’t a terribly bad thing, but I really want Akina to have some sort of trait that distinguishes her from the other main girls.

Iko Natsukawa

Iko is a third year that has just returned to school after playing sports overseas. She’s found the idea of being a school idol intriguing for a long time, but felt she wasn’t girly or young enough to be one. Still, she seeks to make use of her athleticism in order to try and do what she loves. Because of her hair color, her friend, Kaede, often teases her by calling her a strawberry; she even has a strawberry hairpin that her friend Erika gave her.

Iko’s image doesn’t show her wearing a strawberry hairpin. Maybe I’m just picky.

She also likes to help Miyuki practice basketball and has a lot in common with her.

Iko is a very unique character already, but I feel like her drive and reason to be a school idol needs a little more work. Playing sports overseas is a HUGE thing and I feel as if Iko would have bigger things ahead of her than worrying about being a school idol. I feel like she threw her opportunities away to be something much smaller. Character development would really come in handy here.

CV: Mikako Komatsu

I’m actually not super familiar with Mikako Komatsu, but listening to her, she fits well with Iko’s design.

Like the other girls, I’m gonna relate Iko to a canon character. Hm. I’m feeling a mix of Kanan and Eli.

Tsuki Shimizu

Tsuki is a first year who always loved school idols due to her friend Hisa’s passion for them and because she just loves their pretty outfits. At the beginning, she wasn’t very sure about being a school idol herself because she’s a very shy person and not very athletic, but at the end she decided to join them with Hisa.

I want more character development and information on Tsuki herself. I feel like she’s very similar to Ruby, but I want her to have her own reason to join. Her design is already cute and sweet, so I hope more information and detail is added about her.

A CV hasn’t been added for Tsuki, but I feel like a fitting voice would be one that isn’t too soft and sweet, and one that isn’t too high or squeaky. I suggest Yui Horie would be a good voice for her.

Miyuki Honda

Miyuki is a second year who never really thought about being a school idol. Her principal concerns are to have good marks to enter in a good university in the future and sports. Also, she doesn’t see herself as girly or cute enough to be an idol. But seeing the girls having fun while trying hard plus Akina’s cheerful and positive behavior, can convince her to join them.

Like Tsuki, more detail needs to be added. Just reading this small bit tells me she’s sort of a mixture between Rin and Umi. I like the idea of Miyuki being a studious and hardworking person, and being a school idol gives her the freedom of letting loose and having fun.

A CV hasn’t been added for Miyuki yet, but I suggest someone with a deeper voice such as Faylan or Hirata Hiromi.

Kaede Kuragi

Kaede is a third year who always loved idols due to her little sister’s influence when she was younger. Her sisters were the ones who told her that she would be a nice school idol, after all she’s pretty and kind and has a nice voice. But she was busy taking care of them and their father to think about that seriously. So when Akina decided to make a school idol group she was tempted to join almost immediately.

I like this setup of Kaede’s story. She’s a busy girl, but she loves idols and has always wished to be one. I really like her design and personality pair. However, more detail could always be added to add more uniqueness to her.

A CV hasn’t been added for Kaede yet, but I like the idea of her having either a high voice like Nozomi and Mari, or for her to have a softer, cooler voice like Umi or Dia. I would suggest Eri Kitamura or Asami Imai.

I dunno I get a Dia feeling but maybe that’s just me.

Erika Mine

Erika is on the school’s drama club and collects hair accessories as a hobby. She is an only child but has many dogs at home. She helps her grandfather with his Okonomiyaki restaurant and is the current national champion of SIF.

honey no I’m the champ back off

Her best subject is literature and her worst is math alongside P.E. Her theme animal is the morpho menelaus butterfly. Selfie queen.

I get the feeling Erika is a big self-insert just by reading this small section. It’s not a bad thing, but self-inserts can be tricky to develop correctly. However, her design is honestly beautiful. I really like Erika’s unique hair and her smile shows a lot about her personality.

CV: Ai Kayano

Queen. I could see Ai Kayano’s voice fitting for Erika, but I think it’s a little off. Looking at Erika, she seems more bubbly and energetic. Ai Kayano’s voice usually fits characters that are more small and cute rather than energetic. I suggest Azumi Asakura would be a great voice for Erika.

But compared to the Love Live girls, the birb is a perfect correlation.

Megumi Maruyama

Megumi is the student council president while being the youngest sibling to 3 sisters and 1 brother. She has a horrible memory for everything except song lyrics and writes up lists on her hands/arms to remember things.

I feel like she wouldn’t be able to be a good student council president if her memory is terrible. It’s a different character trait than the usual ones, but it might not fit her character too well.

Her best subject is math alongside P.E. and her worst is Japanese history. Her theme animal is the rabbit. This year she’ll lead the Team 35 for the Taiko Matsuri.

I get a Mari or Kanan vibe from her. Just me? Ok.

CV: Megumi Nakajima

To be honest, the Megumi’s correlate well for the design and voice. I think it fits very well. However, if I were to change her seiyuu, I would change it to Maeda Rena, because I think one thing we could add to Megumi is a little bit of a squeak, like Kanan’s voice.

I like all of the girls presented and I think they would actually make a pretty good idol group. There were mainly critiques to the character development and design of the characters. Plot and setting aren’t absolutely important because it would be taking place in a different town/city and school regardless. However, if we were to think practically, if these 8 girls would actually be put into an anime, there would have to be corrections to the seiyuus. Not all seiyuus would be able to make the concerts.

For example, Yoshino Nanjo (Eli’s seiyuu) isn’t able to make all of the concerts due to her busy schedule. Ai Kayano is a busy seiyuu.

Overall, I really liked reviewing this batch of girls. They’re unique and a lot of thought was clearly put into their personality, design, and connections with other characters.

I just noticed I’ve only reviewed female characters. lol.

Thanks for reading, and I hope this helps! ヽ(^◇^*)/

~Mod Charle

#love live #love live school idol project #aqours #muse #love live oc #school idols #miss mary grace #miriamp #novanoah

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