#man it feels like space again

[senorboombastic]

a/s/l: MAQUINA

Remember the days of the old schoolyard? Remember when Myspace was a thing? Remember those time-wasting, laborious quizzes that everyone used to love so much? Birthday Cake For Breakfast is bringing them back!  Every couple of weeks, an unsuspecting band will be subject to the same old questions about dead bodies, Hitler, crying and crushes.   This Week: Ahead of releasing their debut…

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#Birthday cake for breakfast #Blanche Biau #Body Control #Carlos de Jesus #Concentrate #Denial #Desterro #DIRTY TRACKS FOR CLUBBING #Fuzz Club Records #Kontakte #Man It Feels Like Space Again #MAQUINA #PRATA #Subversive

[quaranmine]

can people be nicer about the solar eclipse because i've had people irl laugh at me when i express disappointment over the bad weather forecast and online i see tons of people being rude about it too? like where is your whimsy and sense of awe at the universe and how dare you insinuate that i'm being frivolous to be sad about potentially missing what is, for my area, a once in a lifetime event?

#like everybody is like oh well that's a good thing because if it’s cloudy everyone will STAY HOME!!!! #and im like???? yeah the highways are gonna be insane but?? #why laugh at the misfortune of us potentially missing something INSANELY COOL? #be nice to our guests who traveled to see it. be nice to those of us who live here who are thrilled about it. #idk man i think traffic being bad for a day or two is a trade-off for something that i will literally have no shot at seeing ever again #unless i specifically travel in upcoming years to another location #it's cool! this is cool! space is cool! i feel annoyed that yall are acting like you're Too Cool to appreciate astronomy! #idk some people seem to have made it a personality trait to not care about it. as if it's frivolous

[specialagentartemis]

Sarah Sisko’s whole deal is so horrifying and messed up and DS9 just kinda. Glosses over it

#Imagine you are just a random Australian woman on Earth. Living your life minding your business #and then you get possessed by an alien force who have a Destiny they need to enact #And so controls you to go to New Orleans and hook up with a guy you’ve never met and you marry him and live with him for three years #And give birth to a son #And evidently that was what the alien wanted because once you have had a son the alien possession vacates your body #And you are in control of yourself again for the first time in three years #Married to a guy you didn’t seek out with a son you didn’t have a choice in #And the man is sweet and kind and in live with you! And thought you lived him! But you can’t bear it #So you leave him and leave the kid and hightail it back to Australia because what else can you do?? #And eventually commit suicide because you can’t handle this. Your life was upended in an impossible horrifying way for three years #You disappeared from your life with no warning for three years and then showed up again to people who think you just left #It’s the Star Trek universe—‘I was mind controlled by an alien force’ is well known #But that’s not supposed to happen to you. You aren’t a starfleet adventurer you live on Earth. Why You? #I feel like. Sarah your life was so horrifying/tragic and it wasn’t even about you #And even DS9 just brings this up practically in passing and then never dwells on it ever #perpetual perpetual ladies night #Star Trek #Deep Space 9 #ST:DS9

[hauntedpearl]

dean widower arc moments literally just chewing glass thinking about them. idk why but the romance of it all comes through better than anywhere else. like it's almost like you realize the value of the thing tenfold in its absence or whatever. anyway. god. society if they let dean cradle his body. if they let him hunch over cas' body, if they let him press his hands to cas' wound while he's dying like there's some way that he can save him by the sheer force of his will. if they let him just sit there, devastated, as cas' wings burned themselves into the ground. CAN YOU. IMAGINE. dean's seething, quiet anger and apathy, not his explosiveness. his scrambled brain trying to make head or tails of this life, this situation and not knowing how. it's all so stupidly sad and delicious i hate it i love it

#I WANT TO. WRITE SO MUCH WIDOWER ARC CONTENT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY #dean's grief is so fascinating to me #experience emotions please #i think it's because he's always so. repressed and he doesn't know how to feel things properly like the emotions don't fit in the space #between his skin and bones. and like the s13 widower arc is just. one of those moments where EVERYTHING comes tumbling out #and it's so messy and horrible and sad but like. LIKE THAT'S WHERE THE MEAT OF HIS CHARACTER IS #that's who he is. that's why he's the most caring man on earth. the most loving human being that we'll ever know etc #like. he's never as vulnerable as he is then #maybe in purgatory during the trap but yeah #wooooooo i am sooo #i should stop posting lmak #lmao" #widower arc #dean #destiel #spn #doe is talking again

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i love haircuts. i cant stop petting the back of my skull

#ITS SO FUZZY!!!! #ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE BUZZED THE BACK!!! #im so smooth and streamlined... like a Seal... #Yes my head is cold. oh but i feel so so free #and! AND! it will make wearing hairnets so much easier & more comfortable #it was very funny tho #the stylist gave me the rundown on what she did #and added that she kept it kinda soft looking to give it a more Feminine feel while still being a masc haircut #as i stood there. in my pin-covered vest. Not Giving A Shit lmaooo #like thank you??? i am going to make it look masc as fuck anyway #i Do appreciate her attention to detail tho! she was very thorough! #it should grow out nicely until i trim it again #absolutely unprompted #tho i miss my lil' sideburns... i let her buzz the sides/back a bit too short... #when will they return from the war... #man i love getting my hair cut tho #i usually Hate it when anyone is in my space bubble but... sigh. its nice #i can just sit and space out while my hair gets cleaned up <3 #its odd. i dont like being touched Except for when its my hair - which i am extremely particular about. i contain multitudes #SIDE NOTE TONIGHT I HAVE HEARD MY FIRST FROG SYMPHONY #opened the back door and!!! Frogs!!! whoa! there's Creatures out there!

[vinefilledarchways]

I don’t post often, but I felt like this was an important thing to post. I found an old cartridge in a garage sale that seemed to be a knock off of undertale?? I havnt played it yet but me and @banesberry-anomoly are gonna be posting about it, so keep an eye out :))

#undertale au #undertale #AU #digital art #arch art #ARG #unreality #sans au #undertale arg #undertale art #man I hope this goes well #undertale hyperfixation #I’m hyperfixating on undertale again and dragging my friend along #does no beta we die like Geno apply here?? #liminal #liminal spaces #liminal space arg #I feel like no beta we die like Geno applies here #It’s 7 am and I havnt slept because of this lol #undertaleau

[tricoufamily]

once again thinking about how easy it would be for me to be in a relationship if i was cis

#cis woman cis man either way #dude in the neighborhood has a crush on me telling me i'm beautiful like 'thanks! i will go home and cry now' #i fucking hate being trans i wish i wasn't lol #and sometimes i feel like i can't talk about this anywhere bc in a lot of trans spaces it's like. taboo? to express anything but positivity #as if me being honest about how i feel about myself is somehow how i feel about every single trans person jesus christ but whatever whateve #like listen peace and love but i need you to do me a favor and promise me you will not come at me with any 'transness should be about joy' #i know you mean well i know you're right. but transness for me /is/ pain and sorrow. that's all it's ever caused me my entire life #you have to remember that i'm from rural appalachian tennessee with a transphobic family #some of the most deeply rooted self hating repression for years just for. more honest self hatred #i've never admitted this before but i've considered detransitioning and repressing because of transphobia many times #i'm not brave i'm not strong i'm not trying to make some grand statement or be the voice of a generation. i just want to Be. you know #i just got really really unlucky #but i can't repress. i know that would be even more miserable so i'm just. trapped. forever #who i want to be forever out of reach like tantalus or something i don't know #i want to be loved #or maybe i should just watch the batman again

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors #infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like #he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in #black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression #but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience #plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns #Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me #like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions #he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self #righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand #saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault #but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up #I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me #you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his #head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead #to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home #like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol #also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate #when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man #it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through #these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted #fallout #fallout new vegas #Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant #I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished #ulysses fnv #fnv ulysses #lonesome road

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

oh wait it’s sunday i need to make another threat. if i open namemc tomorrow and don’t find a red scott smajor i will be forced to take drastic action (become one with my wall ala that one junji ito story)

#space rambles #at this point i think i need a tag for my parasocial enemy relationship with this guy #like Genuinelu Truly it has nothing to do with the man himself i have no strong feelings on him as a person #(mostly cause i don’t know enough about him for that) #but three seasons of life series!scott in the top five has made me want to see him lose again #return to third life when he got like. ninth place. please god.

[saltpepperbeard]

you ever feel trapped? like you’re just treading water, waiting to drown?

#OFMD #had to channel my inner ed because i just shdklsjdhks #jodi's no good very cranky day #here's the tea sis #i left a comfortable yet somewhat annoying job for a job that is currently VERY annoying and distressing #annnnddd i'm feeling that PARTICULARLY hard today #it also doesn't help that part of that stress feels like it's coming from neurodivergent burnout/issues and that can't be like #easily ~*~Explained~*~ to people #like the lack of structure/communication/transparency is driving me BANANAS because i very much need stability/cut and dry processes #annnnnd upper management is supposed to be fixing that #but it seems like they're making it Even Worse #so it just feels extremely overwhelming right now #and i can also feel everyone ELSE'S stress?? #and it seems to be upping my own because yaaaaayyy empathy (derogatory) #IDK man sorry I don't normally vent #But my health is starting to get affected by all of this l m a o #And the thought of having to uproot AGAIN if it doesn't improve is just #I feel like it's an unending loop of going from job to job to job where the spaces are toxic and no one communicates and> #<efforts are not respected #Soooo I'm just gnawing on my arm and wishing I very much could ZOOM AWAY ON A PIRATE SHIP SHDKLS

[arcaneyouth]

having a chronic illness/disability and also having medical trauma is a bitch for obvious reasons but also like. being part of the disabled community n stuff. like yeah i want to show my love and support for disabled people and i dont want to be uncomfortable when they talk about their experiences. if they talk about specific experiences i will stop breathing while the panic hits me like many bricks

#negative #sorta kinda #a lot of disability posts are like 'if you are uncomfortable with (disability stuff) you need to reexamine yourself and #learn to live with it' and these posts are true and i do have biases i gotta be aware of #but theres also stuff i just cant become comfortable with. ive tried. ive been trying for a decade #it is simultaneously true that i should be allowed to avoid my triggers and that other disabled people shouldnt have to be aware that #im triggered by them existing #i dont feel bad about that i just feel bad that i am apart of this community too but theres spaces i just cant be in #its the same kind of thing with like. so you'll never find me putting my ocs in a medical setting #i could potentially do it since i know exactly what triggers me and what doesnt but its easier to just avoid it in my stories #but the thing about my chronic illness is its. an invisible illness #and a lot of the things i could bring up for my readers to understand they have My Illness are. things that trigger me #and again. i have tried so hard to be more comfortable with these triggers #its not happening. it is likely i will panic about this stuff the rest of my life #so now theres a disconnect between me and my ocs that are like me because i cant make them like me without freaking out #its just. man what the hell. #my disability that gave me medical trauma is preventing me from participating in disabled spaces i want to be part of #what the fuck dude

[coquelicoq]

my ex, who lives alone, is apparently about to buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom, 2-garage house. what. i'm getting stressed out just hearing about it. tf you gonna do with all that space, bro? how you gonna clean all those bathrooms???

#he's like well i want one room for my home office and one room for my hobby and one guest room #add in a bedroom for him and that's still only 4 bedrooms? you have an entire extra bedroom???? #plus an extra garage??? #damn he thinks he's lonely now but dude just you wait until you spend every day ALONE IN A FIVE-BEDROOM HOUSE #trying not to project too much onto him but i really think this is absurd outside of my own preferences #he's been stressed living in his 1b apt bc his hobby takes up a lot of space #but i think this is just another example of his general propensity to treat the symptoms and not the disease #the problem is he's overcommitting & extending himself too much & he never finishes anything #that's what actually stresses him out #so him in a 5b house is just going to be him filling all that space with stuff until he's stressed again #anyway i have NO IDEA how to react to this because i think it's such a bad idea #i'm really bad at faking things i don't feel but i feel like it's too late to say 'wyd bro???' because apparently his offer was accepted #i did ask him how he's going to clean 4 bathrooms and he said he's just not going to use them #also it feels weird morally for a single (rich) man to buy an entire 5b house only for him in the middle of the seattle housing crisis #not like if he didn't buy it someone else would buy it and make it into affordable housing units so maybe it doesn't matter #still feels weird though and contributes to me not knowing how to react #if you have any advice for me followers...i am all ears #i've been really floundering on how to be a supportive friend to him lately #just really struggling with how to engage with him when it feels like he's his own worst enemy #and like it's not that he needs to have the same priorities as me it's just that he comes to me all stressed out and idk how to react #bc 'no shit you're stressed out. have you tried making completely different choices?' isn't a great option lol

[lottalove01]

rant <3

#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc #she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities #+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family #so this shouldnt surprise her this much #why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too #she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh #and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith #but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion #w an agnostic no less #ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu??? #and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable #especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to #expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends #anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable #shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying #cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird #also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me #why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life #maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man

[butchvamp]

it's just all so unnecessarily cruel. already being an outsider in straight society, viewed as disgusting and predatory by other women or "needing to be fixed" by men, and then you turn to the people that are supposed to be your community only for them to have the exact same attitude. now you're disgusting and mean and regressive and you're forced to hear the same lecture some straight guy gave you about "giving men a chance" in a bar 2 nights ago from someone who is supposed to understand and be your family. it's just awful

#SORRY im done talking about this it's just like. again no matter how many people i block or how hard i try to avoid it #i keep seeing it. nevermind the weirdos harassing me on my other blog now i've had to turn anon off on 2 out of 3 of them #because i wrote about lesbians who don't like men. lol #being told to kys for saying how bad the lesbophobia is getting in lgbt spaces by another gay person is just like... idk man #i feel like i have had this experience so many times as a lesbian #trying to get involved in lgbt spaces only to immediately be harassed and pushed out of it #i genuinely do not feel welcomed. and idk how to put into words how upsetting that is when there's no where else to go

[eyesopentv]

weird identity post warning

i’m a trans man who thought i was a lesbian for a long time and i figured it out eventually but when i did i was really hesitant to let go of the label bc i had found so much community through it. i’d found people who understood me, queer shows and movies, and music that i resonated with. and even though it’s not for me anymore, i still feel very connected to that, especially the music, but i also often feel like i’m not allowed to enjoy it or that i’m intruding on something that is only for wlw, or even just women in general. and i can always understand and connect with it because of my experience before i transitioned but when i engage with certain media, especially in public, it still looks and feels like i’m intruding or trying to make it about me. i feel kind of stuck sometimes- like i’m trying to step away from things that were not made for me, but by doing that there isn’t much that i can connect with. everything made for men is never for all men, it’s for cis men. everything for trans men is either kalvin garrah-fied or cavetown and there’s hardly ever an in between. don’t get me wrong, i enjoy cavetown, but i want something outside of that. anyways. there’s no resolution to this, i don’t have a solution or whatever, i just wanted to say it and see if anyone resonates

#miles thots #i’ve actually been wanting to say it for a long time i just couldn’t find the words #and i don’t think that this perfectly encapsulates what i feel but it’s the best i can do #this came up today bc i’ve been really enjoying boygenius but again- it’s not for me #and i feel really guilty taking up that space #and the guilt has been coming up a lot more recently with more people saying ‘this is for the girlies’ or ‘only girls will understand’ and- #just the whole ‘girl’ language in general especially as a swiftie. like ‘taylor swift girlies’ and i’m just some dude who happened to be a #girl when i started listening to her and now am not but i still love her and her music but i feel like i’m not allowed to or i’m taking spac #from a woman who Actually belongs here #and then the barbie movie and i’m like- i get it i really do but i’m a man so i shouldn’t get it #idk!! #wait fuck this applies to tattoos too with my lavender plant and small tattoos and i feel like i’m not being a man the right way or like i’m #trying to be like women but i swear i’m not- i just happen to share experiences with them and therefore interests

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries