#makes me feel horrible lol

[lilybug-02]

Pain is a great motivator…

Part 26 || First || Previous || Next

—Full Series—

Meanwhile Toriel:

(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)

Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!

#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”???? #lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update. #IS THAT A MAC OS??? #Yes......owo'' #Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters! #FINALLY!! #I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed #Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things. #Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too- #but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :) #bread #art #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune chara timeline comic #seriously though #long post #man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu #This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q #chara #asriel #susie #kris #asriel dreemurr #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #susie deltarune #deltarune #comic #my art

[sea-buns]

he's so real for this and I am terrified

#gonna be reliving some trauma with this one hahaa #hhhhh #fr tho its very cool to see this experience represented #to be in that horribly stressful make-or-break part of hs and feel like everyone has their shit together but you is soooo ;_; #excited to see him play that with gorgug. hate the memories that im sure itll dredge up for me lol #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjr #zac oyama #gorgug thistlespring

[vimbry]

jumping off the back of the post about genres of song lyrics, another thing about tmbg's lyrics in particular is that even when they write about pleasant themes, they still manage to frequently do so through a sinister lens:

the experience of having children and looking after them:

a nice little nightlight protecting a child muses on the shortcomings it would have outside its assigned responsibility:

fantasising about getting high in the park with your crush:

#tmbg #AND. I love it. #please feel free to add to this btw. I feel like there's more flansburgh examples but they're dropping out of my head #I've gone on and on about ''sleeping in the flowers'' already. so I won't repeat myself too much in the tags here #but I can also see how it's intended to come across as playful. like. #it's two people in love having a silly exchange between each other #I also like the little interlude from the nightlight's lullaby-of-sorts to the child to describing how it would make a really bad lighthous #''man it's a good thing I'm not one of those. I'm too small. if I did that then people at sea would crash and drown horribly hahaha #anyway good night'' #and actually re: nanobots. it only just occurred to me #I'd gotten 'newborn citizenship of the micronations'' being a verbose way to describe. babies lol #but is the start of verse about the actual birth of a child and getting so distracted by the preparation and stress #that you almost forget oh yeah. I have this kid now :) #and thinking about how even tho your worries around that are now over you'll focus instead on all the future responsibilities you'll have #how does something written in such a detatched way manage to be so sweet

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

I think one of the reasons that kaladin can deal with actively killing as a soldier but not with accidentally (passively) letting someone die as a surgeon is the sense of failure (plus of course the obvious protection aspect and the whole me-vs-them mentality he only really starts to question when Shin joins bridge four, and he starts interacting fairly regularly with a light-eyes he can genuinely respect). dalinar himself said that he "love(s) taking responsibility for things", which is especially clear in the way he still can't quite blame amaram for tien's demise (because he feels like this is his failure, too).

like we can see in the first book that the deaths of the people he swore to protect weigh on him not only because of the dying people per se, but also (and I would argue: especially) because of his FAILURE to keep them alive. he always makes this connection to himself, thinks of their demise in relation to HIS own person and HIS role and HIS failure (cue the whole "stormfather cursed me specifically" thing). like, besides tien and the bridgemen (who we know because they are active current characters), can we truly say much of anything about the people he failed to protect in the past? the only thing we really know is how HE feels about it and how it messed HIM up. but the people themselves??

kaladin just has insane main character syndrome, and everything happening to him (first dark-eyed to have the rank of a light-eyed, one of the only surgebinders, guy able to survive multiple fights with actual shardbearers, etc etc) do the opposite of helping him dissuade the notion. I feel like I lost the plot of my own post. Kal is honorable and a good guy and everything but he is also pretty self-centered? which I actually find really cool because many times people who do objectively good actions are still kind of demonized if they don't do it for the "right" reasons (aka purely 1000% selflessness), but Kal explicitly starts helping the bridgemen not because he actually cares about them but because he needs a reason to not commit suicide. and when he loses bridgemen (especially in the beginning where he barely knows them) he always immediately thinks back to the other people he FAILED to save. he isn't devastated because that person in particular died, he is upset because he is very bad at dealing with his own failures and also terrified that the wretch will use this to lure him back onto the ledge. i mean, he loathes failure so much he was resigned to never see his parents again (who he clearly loves a lot and who he knows would welcome him back with open arms; it's his own shame that he can't confront)

he helps people primarily to try to make up for the failures of the past, an attempt to dissuade the guilt and shame eating him alive 24/7 (which of course never works because guilt is a very unreasonable emotion and as long as he doesn't change his mindset and confronts his own beliefs about himself and the world it will never go away.)

"do the fire sprin create the flames or are they attracted by them?" of course syl was compelled to follow kaladin around. dude keeps actively (even if semi-unconsciously) putting himself into the same role and situation over and over again in the hopes that if he can only succeed one time it will somehow redeem him for his past failures. literally every single thing Kal does and thinks and believes is rooted in the fact that he blames himself for tien's demise. he needs to somehow redeem himself in order to be able to live with himself but at the same time he can never be redeemed because letting tien die is an unforgivable crime and yet he needs to make it up somehow because the wretch is always in the back of his mind and he's actually terrified of it but he is equally scared of actually somehow managing to get over this sense of guilt and failure because wouldn't forgiving himself mean he thinks tien is less important than his own stupid (and, in his mind, deserved) feelings?

that guy is so not over his brother's death it actually isn't funny anymore 💀 please get that dude some fucking therapy 😭😭

#am at words of radiance rn btw #does this even make sense i feel like this is just word vomit lol #idk if this is a hot take #it seems fairly obvious to me tbh #but then jasnah being one of the most caring characters in stormlight and the alethi being horrible seemed pretty self evident to me too #and apparently some ppl still dont get that #(i completely avoid going into the tags in order not to spoil myself so im only going off the comments people leave beneath my posts btw) #also i apologize if i spelled any names wrong i experience stormlight through audio only ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #kaladin stormblessed #stormlight archive #cosmere #brandon sanderson

[badolmen]

hey you guys know that even if the people inside that submersible are rich billionaires, dying in that metal tube at the bottom of the ocean is a horrific way to die right. like. yeah stupid choices were made by the people in there signing off on a waiver that says the sub is not approved by anyone and they could die. but it’s the fault of OceanGate for knowingly putting people into a Home Depot DIY sub rigged up with an Xbox controller all to make a profit on people’s curiosity.

#ra speaks #personal #oceangate #missing sub #be normal on this post or I’m going to be disappointed in you and hope you grow as person #listen I’m not touching the ‘site of a horrific maritime disaster being used as a tourist locale’ with a ten foot pole #but like the people in that sub are currently going through something incredibly traumatic and will be lucky to survive #and I know we all love to laugh at dumb rich people suffering the consequences of their hubris #but jfc maybe I’m insane but like on a human level can you respect the horror of what is happening to real living ppl for a goddamn minute #there’s also a good chance these folk aren’t millionaires #they’re probably upper middle class folk splurging for the start of summer vacation #‘oh but I bet they’re still rich assholes-‘ THERES PEOPLE IN THERE. THEY MIGHT DIE. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GRASP AS A TERRIBLE THING??? #me. low empathy: wow this is horrible. I quite literally can’t imagine how the people down there feel but I’m sure it’s incredibly traumatic #dumbasses making memes: haha dumb rich kid and his dad are gonna suffocate in a metal tube lol

[aceofstars16]

Y’all all know I’m back on a Gravity Falls kick so…I drew my favorite six fingered nerd 🥰

Original art from Lost Legends, I pretty much just did a redraw lol

#gravity falls #stanford pines #ford pines #gravity falls fanart #stanford pines fanart #ford pines fanart #gf stanford #gf ford #gravity falls lost legends #lost legends #so many tags lol #aceo draws things #I will spare y’all the sappy stuff I wrote on my instagram post #but in short I’m very grateful for the break I’ve gotten from horrible depression the past week #and I’m just grateful I can feel happy again thank you God #ford has always been a comfort character to me but I think he’s even more of one now tbh #i understand him and Stan a…a lot more now from own personal experience and it just makes their story more meaningful to me you know?

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Its all over now people i have been granted incredible power! Ty to @claiborneart for showing me how to operate a laser cutter eehehe. He turned out beautiful, and i love him🥹

Under the cut: some shots of the cutter in motion, and some process and color test shots.

Here was the original sketch i’d based the linework off. Actually the first drawing of Jim I’d done while i was learning how he worked! The second image are the final lines i used(minus the sparkle, which i added later) for the cutter, and an idea of where i wanted the outside cutlines to be.

I sent that through the cutter program and made a bunch of him!

These are some tests i’d done on a few duds to pick out and practice painting the colors:

After that I went assembly line mode and painted each one extremely carefully one color at a time using the tests as reference!

Also… he’s got blacklight capabilities eehehe!

#kingohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #super sentai #gerojim #fan art #laser cutter #i have taken matters into my own dang hands #this was super fun #pretty cool to make something tactile and meticulously for once #feel like i’ve been rushing a lot of my art recently so it was a nice change of pace. literally! #hilarious if jim came back like ‘i’ve been up to evil’ now fjdjdmd #i would still love him lol #gerojim should be allowed to do horrible crimes… as a treat… #special little mayfly guy #sending these to the folks kind enough to watch this show with me lol

[scholarofgolb]

one thing low self esteem will do to you is that it will convince you that no one could possibly value their relationship with you or even on a lighter level like. thinking people don't care about anything you say and that your words don't have impact on people. and what that leads to is you being completely unaware when you hurt other peoples feelings and being unable to consider how something you view as innocuous or funny could be hurtful and mean to someone else. like even if you have a hard time understanding that you have value as a person you have to understand that you have a lot of control of the way you effect other people and no one is intrinsically aware of what is going on in your head. you've got to care about other people and think about what's going on for them and yes empathy is hard but empathy can be learned. and sometimes u gotta figure it out and teach it to yourself.

#big thing for me in my late teens was realizing all of this #it was like probably the most valuable thing i took out of adolescence #which i thought because i had social anxiety and was so concerned about other people hating me that i couldn't possibly be low empathy #but i was! and i had to deal with it! #stop asking other people 'are you mad at me' and start asking yourself 'how might they have interpreted that? could that have been hurtful? #and youll realize that it might have been! and thats the most horrible gut wrenching feeling ever #but there's this wonderful thing called apologizing and explaining yourself and reminding people that you love + value them #and if ur me that means sometimes youll apologize for something and ur friend will be like 'i dont even know what ur talking about LOL' #but it also means sometimes your friend will feel welcome to have productive conversations about how you make eachother feel #and thats really what helps form lasting relationships tbh

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

do you ever think about right after v kisses kerry how he says w dazed disbelief he wants this gorgeous moment to last forever to a dying man and johnny’s remark about ‘kerry never did get it. only one thing worse than unfulfilled dreams— dreams that come true’ and how quietly gutted he sounds and then you think about how how kerry’s always wanted to get with johnny and how kerry only romances male v because it unconsciously or not fits into that fifty year old want for johnny or do you do yo u… do you

#cp 2077 #johnny silverhand #kerry eurodyne #silverdyne #silvervdyne #‘johnnys talking about Kerry’s career’ TO YOU!! #i mean. ugh hes self-centered enough that even after all of Kerry’s confessions and admittance he likes the spotlight #sure. johnny can be like. hes lying lol he hates being famous. #this is a dream come true turned bad. which is. missing the plot of kerry exorcism of johnnys ghost #but truly kerry doesnt hate being famous #i think he hates certain parts but he likes people hearing him sing he likes the reach #and its far enough in the plot johnny has some empathy #and hes self centered but hes not stupid #and THEN taking into account those cut lines after v fucks kerry. oooooh boy. #if johnnys being self-centered its because his line is referring to himself because how long has HE been waiting to kiss kerry #and how horrible is this dream finally realized #as an engram in another mans body #anyway call me Pepe Silvia the way im making these baseless accusations and connections #im very close to being finished w my dark matter rewrite and replaying every iteration of the talk w kerry #made me feel things……..

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little #bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the #very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the #house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks #Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a #gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a #treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of #color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration #like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a #auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies #so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk #and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver #but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and #sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an #active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have #been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start #to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've #done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!' #(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks #with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm #secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool #stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers #me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or #it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for #too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been #investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely #enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed #google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj #LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!

[orcelito]

As for my post this morning. If anyone was worried. Me personally I'm okay (I guess) but my dad's in the hospital and things r still very up in the air. So.

#speculation nation #bracing myself for the possibility of Major Grief.....2!!!! #well actualy more like 3 or 4 or 5 (lol lol lol) #but likely the worst one bc it's. my dad. that's my dad. #i left work early to visit him at the hospital. hes stable rn at least (he wasnt this morning) #he wasnt conscious though. and i really really hope he ends up okay #but. i still saw my dad unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to like a million tubes and #thats my dad. Thats my Dad. #im really trying to not do my processing until after i know for sure how things are gonna go #dont wanna start grieving until after he's officially gone #so im trying not to think about it. but it's still... yeah. unpleasant. #and theres a part of me thats so so resentful. if i have to have a dead parent why would it be the Good one? #take my fucking mom instead. hell my life would even be BETTER without her. horrible as that is to say. #but it's my dad. he's not perfect. he has his flaws. but he's still tried in a way she never ever did. #seeing him like that makes me feel so... small. makes me remember being picked up by him. #makes me remember riding on the back of his harley as a tiny little 10 year old with a helmet that was giant on me #we'll hope for the best. we'll hope for a recovery. even if not a full recovery. i just want to have my dad. #sorry. this is probably too real for my tumblr dot com. it's just been... a lot today. #negative/ #death/ #hospitals ment/ #idfk. sorry

[125storejuice]

So I'm legitimately getting back into things now, and I'm pretty excited ! I ended up having some more stuff happen that put me in a dark place for a while, but I am finished being in that place !! And ready to show the internet my naked body !!

#my best friend told me she didnt want to be in my life anymore lol #and my job got so horribly bad I quit #and realized that work is just extremely difficult for me #so im looking into disability again #anyway #lolol #im just happy to also be feeling better enough to to sex work things #because it is something that makes me legitimately happy !! #so hello tumblr i have missed you!! check my onlyfans for some new posts 🥰 #more to come !!! #i hope you all are doing so well!!! #how are you doing??

[cheer-soli-art]

I started playing sky and……yeah it’s a good game

#the sheer sense of awe I get playing this game #there’s like #no pressure #no annoying ads #no micro transactions on your face #you can FLY #and you Can SKATE SO FAST ITS LIKE DJDGAHSJG #and everyone playing is SO KIND TO EACH OTHER???? #augh #Anyways yeah it makes me feel good except when I get confused on the missions lol #self inflicted tho #also I get motion sickness if I play for too long #Cuz I’m HORRIBLE at flying #sky: children of the light #sky: cotl #sky children of the light #sky

[skitskatdacat63]

Orb...

+ process kinda

#istg lineart is just a horrible terrible thing LOL #i sketch and it goes very well and i am very happy and i feel very creative!!! #i have to do lineart and it makes me want to give up the piece ..... #i get to paint and im like omg i could do this for hours !!! this is so fun !!!!!! #thus: orb #im very happy w it so thats why im posting #idk how long the actual piece is gonna take so might as well post a little sneak peak ig #lmfao i gave up on the crown bcs it was too complicated and then drew this. maybe the crown will come back. prob not #im surprised w the process of this. i usually struggle a lot w accurately referencing real life things #and i usually end up tracing them just to understand how the form works #and god ive drawn so many complicated things for this piece and havent had to trace at all???? okay????? #i mean ofc its not entirely accurate bcs the craftsmanship on the original orb is actually insane #but i think ive got it down p well :) #ill have to try to make the gold look a bit better at some point later on but for now its !!! #i like how half my art i post here is either chibis #or just the most brainrot intense historically detailed shit ever #yes no one i talk to probably knows what a globus cruciger is but GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA DRAW IT ACCURATELY #had this thought ^ when i looked at my top posts and my last post was those nando chibis #and then after a week of not drawing after that im like yeah let me draw several imperial relics #catie.art.

[graciousdragon]

ok i finally finished watching the fnaf musical dark remains deep dive/stream archive and oh my god. absurdly long script with more on the way. crazy stunts. vanny and glitchtrap have much bigger roles. alexandria is back for a flashback sequence. one of the new actors is nonbinary. new cg5 footage?? mike is back?!? MIKE IS FUCKING BACK YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYPE I AM HE'S LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CHARACTER

dark remains will literally be peak >:D

#rys.txt #fnaf the musical #fnaf dark remains #fnaftm #random encounters #cg5 #i get the feeling mike's return is also going to be a flashback like with alexandria and i'm so unbelievably hype #i love mike so much y'all have no idea. he was such a sweet guy and he just wanted to succeed and he got done so fucking dirty #he just wanted a successful restaurant! and what did he get? overworked and constantly terrified and a horrible gruesome death #all because of his fucking uncle who only treated him as death fodder instead of anything close to family. or even just a person #fnaftm mike is so tragic i love him #i'm saying that like no other fnaf media has a tragic michael. they all do and they're all great but i latched onto this one the most lol #and also benbyy being in the cast and hosting that stream makes me so happy as a nonbinary person as well #there's a cool enby working on the fnaf musical!! and everyone is using their pronouns correctly!! it genuinely made me so happy #peace and love on planet me :D #i'll say it again. dark remains is going to be so peak