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sjhanny2000 · 2 years

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Fights and Sweet Touches (Part 3)

A/N: Enjoy folks!

Warning(s): separation of spouses, depression, anxiety, mental illness, recovery, self depracation, mentions of illness

Word Count: 3.9k+

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~~~

You could have never expected leaving to hurt so badly. At least, you hadn’t been willing to acknowledge at the time of your departure. There had been far too many other emotions running rampant within your body to make sense of the seed of homesickness your subconsciousness planted in the back of your mind, waiting to bloom when your mental guards were down. It had already been exhausting to pack your bag, to walk down the gravel path and pass the gateway to the main road, tears never ending and heart screaming in objection, to just wait one more minute, maybe he didn’t mean it-!

Yet, his silence, his unwillingness to even try to take back those dagger like words, it spelt out everything to you.

“Oi! Ahmya-senpai!”

The shout of your name across the shop had you snapping to attention, eyes wide and heart beating wildly against the confines of your inner chest, your grip on the haori you had been weaving slipping from your grasp, fluttering silently to the wooden floors beneath your feet.

Did they find you? Were they here? Kami, please-!

Five months. Five months, twenty-three days, three hours, eleven minutes and twelve seconds and counting since you left the Uzui Estate with the bare minimum, since your world broke into a million pieces and your marriage along with. It had taken two weeks of sleeping where you could and selling the few valuables you brought along for food for you to reach your current location, deep between Ina and Akaishi Mountains, Oshika being a quiet but lovely village. By the time you had arrived there, it had been weeks since your last bath and another three days since your last meal, stomach grumbling and kimono dirtied and ripped in various places. What a sight you must have been, so disheveled and filthy, sitting on the edge of the cart of a local merchant who had somehow convinced you in your sleep deprived state to come with him to his home. With the promise of a warm meal and a bath, you took the opportunity with cautious reluctance and hopped on with your near bare travel bag and ragged spirit.

Much to your complete and honest relief, the merchant had been true to his word, his kind and tender hearted wife rushing to tend to you from the moment her husband introduced you to her.

“Oh you poor dear! Come, come, let’s get you cleaned up and fed!” The short, dark haired woman showed no sign of pity or disgust on her loving face when her hand came to gently take hold of your upper arm, guiding you to what had been their washroom. “Tsuyu! Fetch a fresh towel and hot water for me please!”

The woman, whom you came to know as Hana whilst she assisted you in thoroughly scrubbing your matted locks proved to be the sweetest yet cunning individual you had ever met. With a tongue swift as a hawk and mind sharp as a tack, Hana was a force to be reckoned with, never faltering and forever on track and correct. Just like Nao-san, your subconscious had quietly reminiscenced as you ate her wonderful cooking, clean and dressed in fresh clothes. They asked for your name and much to your anxiety fueled mindset, you offered the name of Ahmya instead of your own. If lying ensured your hidden survival, then so be it.

Hana-san and her husband, Naoki-san, along with their two children Tsuyu and Kento, welcomed you, or rather Ahmya, with open arms, the small family warm and comforting as you attempted to stand on your own feet once again. Few days following your arrival, Hana-san insisted on taking you into town, the children eagerly following at your heels with promises to show you everything and everyone. The townsfolk, much to your utter surprise, were polite and eager to welcome you the newcomer, many asking where you had come from and how you ended up in their small, secluded village. How hard it had been to not cry when those questions arose, shame and agony digging their talons into the meat of your flesh, tears threatening to fall whilst your lip quivered with effort to withhold the sobs threatening to slip from your lips. Your assertive host had thankfully come to your aid in those moments of weakness, wrapping a comforting arm around the middle of your back, easily placating the villagers with a snarky response or insisting you had other errands to complete.

No one asked questions after that day, except for the occasional ones Hana-san and Naoki-san snuck in during evening tea some nights after the children were fast asleep and all chores were finished. It took nearly a month into your stay for you to be strong enough to speak about the reasoning behind your travels, how you had failed your husband and in turn destroyed one of the best things you ever had. The couple were quite insistent that it couldn’t have been you, that no sensible man nor woman would let someone as wonderful as you slip through their fingers, no matter the situation. You failed to believe them but the ache in your heart began to grow dull over time, now becoming an occasional pain rather than constant as it had been. Said pain, however, always came back with a vengeance when any thought of the life you left behind arose, self deprecating thoughts squeezing your heart so tightly it became too hard to breathe. So, you did everything you could to not think about them.

Yet, thoughts of them refused to leave you.

Every time you spotted a cloud shaped like an animal or white lilies, you couldn’t help but cry and hear Suma’s laughter.

Every time you were given a sunflower, dried or fresh picked from a neighbor that had no idea what they or who they signified, you couldn’t stop the tears from forming as Makio’s playful shouts echoed within every tear.

Every time you watched the sakura trees shed their downy petals, the phantom feeling of Hinatsuru’s hand on yours whilst you gazed at the heavens above brought you to tears.

Every time you found your gaze landing on the shimmering chimes on the edge of the front engawa, a yellow camellia bush right below it, sobs threatened to escape your pursed lips, guilt eating away at your insides.

Life just wasn’t life without them.

Still, with no other choice, you continued onward with your life, assisting Naoki-san around the farm and Hana-san in the house, Kento and Tsuyu adamant in accompanying you wherever you went, the pair always reminding you of Hikari and subsequently Nana-san, Kiki-san, and Nao-san.

Were they missing you as much as you were missing them?

As you adjusted to your life in Oshika, job opportunities came flocking to you. News of your sewing prowess had eventually made its way into the village (you had found your shocked gaze falling upon Hana-san’s playful smirk at Naoki-san’s telling of the recent gossip) and before you knew it, Riku-san, an older woman who happened to own a tailor shop with her daughter Miwa-san, came to the door with a job offer. Hana-san had been crafty in assuring you were unable to refuse Riku-san’s offer and two days later you found yourself entering the shop, hands shaking and mind racing. The job turned out to be exactly what you needed at the time, acting as a perfect distraction; your mind wandered little when a needle rested between your fingers, fabric resting lifelessly in your lap. You rarely had a moment's rest, something to assist you in looking towards the future, mornings spent at the tailor shop whilst the afternoon was full of chores and tending to the children.

Life only grew busier when Saito-san, one of the villagers, approached you one day while you worked the counter in the shop, bags under his eyes and desperation fueling every one of his steps. His young son, Taiki, had fallen ill with a particularly nasty fever that refused to break and every remedy known to him had failed in breaking it. The doctor had gone down the mountain in search of medicinal supplies in one of the larger villages, meaning there was no one else who could help the boy in his hour of need. Saito-san begged for Riku-san to help him, stating he had asked every person for assistance but had been met with apologies and well wishes, no other villager able to help. Before Riku-san could turn the desperate father from her door empty handed, you found yourself stepping from behind the counter without a thought, quietly offering your help much to your own surprise. Within a half hour, you found yourself bearing a basket of various herbs and a mortar and pestle, entering the place Saito-san and his family called home with shaking hands.

The moment you saw the sickly Taiko-kun chased away any second thoughts you had possessed then.

Drenched in sweat and cheeks red as apples, Taiki-kun laid near lifeless in bed, unconscious and unresponsive, his fever being just that high. You found yourself once again moving without thought, ordering Saito-san to fetch freshwater from the well whilst you went to work grounding your herbs together, asking his mother to heat up a kettle of water. Both parents did as they were asked without a word of objection, providing you with everything you could need and then some, willing to do whatever they needed to do if it meant their son’s eyes would open again. Hours upon hours slipped by as you devotedly attended to Taiki-kun and slowly, much to everyone’s relief, his fever grew weaker and weaker until it finally broke with the rising of the sun. The parents had begun crying in relief when slowly, Taiki-kun opened his eyes, revealing irises of fuchsia that were so much like-. You quickly excused yourself from the family soon after that, promising to return if the fever made a comeback later in the day, and disappeared into the woods, frustrated tears coasting down your (s/c) cheeks.

From then on, it seemed that whenever the doctor had to venture beyond the village to gather supplies or was simply overrun with patients, you were seen as the person to seek out. Hoshi-sensei had actually been eager to take on what he deemed an apprentice upon hearing your work with the Saito family, enough that he took time out of his schedule to teach you various medical techniques he had gathered over the years and you did the same in kind, happy to simply assist wherever needed. Helping people had always filled your inner soul with happiness; it was the reason why you did your best to help out at the estate-.

Altogether, when it came down to the nitty gritty, your time spent at the shop, with Hoshi-sensei, and your host family was rejuvenating to your broken spirit. You somehow had purpose again, ones that were working to quell some of the residual pain that remained in the wake of your exodus. It, however, did not dispel the truth of the reality you fought to ignore following your departure, the one you had desperately tried to deny.

“Hoshi-sensei is here with fresh herbs, Ahmya-senpai!”

Brushing away the heavy thoughts that continued to bog down your already messy mind, you shakely set your needle and thread aside on the tray beside you. “C-coming, Miwa-san!”

You pressed the palms of your hands into the arms of your designated seat in the shop, focusing all your strength and energy into prying yourself from the comforting cradle of the rocking chair.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing, foolish child?!”

Hands weathered by hard work and age latched onto your upper arm with concern, an arm wrapping around your waist in support as Riku-san appeared in your field vision, a look of annoyance on her face. “You know better than to exert yourself, girl! Enna-san would tan your hide if she saw you doing that!”

“Apologies, Riku-san. I didn’t want to keep Hoshi-sensei waiting.” You gave the older woman a sheepish smile, standing to your feet. “I keep forgetting I can’t do everything on my own anymore.”

“Well you best get used to it, your abilities will only become more taxing with time.” Riku-san peered at your form with a cool and calculating eye of piercing ice blue, a huff escaping your employer as she pulled away. “You should be grateful you are still able to do anything, with how large you’ve become.”

Her gaze downwards shifted from your face to your midsection, latching onto the growing swell of your stomach with poorly hidden concern, your cheeks going red with embarrassment as you moved to cradle it in the palms of your hands.

What a hard truth it had been when Hana-san and Riku-san forced you to take note of the changes your body was experiencing a month or so into your stay in Oshika, the same damn changes that had begun a week into your travels. Nausea in the morning hours had been the bane of your existence, and the random waves of fatigue were nearly debilitating and dangerous, seeing as how you found yourself in unknown and potentially unsafe territory those first weeks. You refused to let reality take hold, choosing to ignore how your breasts grew tender as your stay with Hana-san and her family grew into a month, yet the woman was tactfully relentless in her questioning and prying, both her and Riku-san were. They had done everything in their power to make you acknowledge the painful truth, to make you swallow the bitter pill of your reality, saying things such as “You’re glowing, Ahmya-san” and “Are you in need of a better fitting kimono, Ahmya-san?” All you could hear was his disappointment with every comment they made, ‘how could you damn our chil-’, ‘that bastard is not my-’, ‘what a deplorable sight you’ve become’-.

It wasn’t until they dragged you to the village midwife that you finally eased away the veil of denial you had placed over yourself the moment the symptoms began to develop nearly two months before and the midwife, Enna-san, confirmed it with a comforting squeeze of your hand.

Rubbing at the swell with a tender hand, you settled your (e/c) irises on the protruding bump beneath your kimono. “It is hard to believe that I still have two and a half months to go, huh?”

Enna-san had asked the hard question that seemed to weigh on everyone’s minds but yours, for you already knew the truth.

“Ahmya-san, do you happen to know when you may have conceived?”

Flashes of sweat covered skin had swept across your consciousness, moans and cries of pleasure echoing loudly in the cave like crevices of your subconscious, wet skin slapping against skin following closely behind with an orgasm-fueled scream.

“TENGEN-SAMA!”

“What is hard to believe is how you are still capable of moving as well as you can! I was never this large, even at the time I gave birth to Miwa.” The older woman huffed, the two of you slowly making your way to the front of the shop.

A wave of knowing sadness washed over you with a teary smile forming on your lips, voice creaking like old floor boards with emotion. “Like I told Enna-san, my husband, he was quite the man in terms of size. Around 6’6”, if I remember correctly.”

By the time you came to acknowledge your developing pregnancy, you were already around thirteen weeks along and showing enough that Enna-san thought you were to be further along, something that was chalked up to the baby’s parental parentage in the end. Your child’s conception was one that was never supposed to occur, having used the herbal contraceptives you had taught how to prepare since the young age of ten years old in case you happened to be rap-. That aside, any conception had to have taken place the day they had departed for their unexpected mission; it had been the last time the pair of you were successfully physical with one another.

The woman sent you a quick glance of poorly veiled regret, a face many seemed to wear when the topic of him came about in conversation, and changed the topic with the ease of a well-practiced saleswoman. “Perhaps while he is here, Hoshi-sensei should examine you. It never hurts to gain a second opinion on matters such as this.”

“Who should I examine on this fine day?”

Your cheeks turned a deep red at realizing your mentor had overheard the woman, the pair of you entering the front room as you nervously waved your hands in objection. “Oh, it’s nothing, Hoshi-sensei, really! Riku-san was simply commenting on my current size, that’s all!”

Standing at the counter was the man who had taken you under his wing in terms of medical practice, standing at the mere height of what you would estimate to be five feet if that, his spiky salt and pepper locks sticking out in all different directions. A pair of dark frames sat precariously on the tip of his bulbous nose, unintentionally accentuating his welcoming eyes of vibrant coral and the age spots splattered across his facial features.

“Ah, yes! How have you been fairing my dear? No problems I hope!” Hoshi-sensei turned his attention away from where Miwa-san was standing to you and Riku-san, the man cheerful as ever.

“J-just a bit of exhaustion and back pain here and there, that’s all!” Hoping to escape the older man’s attention, you shot him a nervous smile. “Enna-san says that’s completely normal, considering the baby’s size and my build!”

Letting out a hum of agreeance, Hoshi-sensei came to stroke his patchy goatee with thought. “That is true, seeing how far along you are now.”

He swiftly bounced out of his thoughtful state with a cry, pointing an accusatory finger at your person. “However! It could also be due to stress or overworking yourself! Well, have you?!”

Before you could even process what was happen, horrified embarrassment having flooded your veins at the man’s questioning, a pair of scissors went flying by Hoshi-sensei’s thrashing head, cutting close enough to leave a sliver of a cut on his cheek before imbedding into the wall behind him.

Your attention snapped to where the scissors had originated from, Riku-san gifting Hoshi-sensei with her signature stern glare. “Ahmya-san’s only source of stress at this moment is you, you dolt!”

Miwa-san let out a shout of her own, cheeks red with angered frustration. “MAMA!”

“Hush, Miwa! I will not have this idiot of a doctor upsetting her so early in the day!” The young woman bowed her head in submission to her tsunami of a mother, Riku-san returning her sights to a trembling Hoshi-sensei. “Now, what is it that you needed, you old coot?”

Her question yanked Hoshi-sensei out of his fearful state, any worry becoming replaced with what seemed to be the snap of Riku-san’s fingers, a cheery grin overtaking the look of horror. “Oh, yes! I have some fresh herbs for Ahmya-san here and I was hoping to gather some fabric, nothing fancy, just some measly scraps will do! They’re quite efficient as bandages I’ve discovered and sadly my supply has already been depleted by at least a fourth!”

“But Hoshi-sensei, didn’t you just return from your supply run from the valley village yesterday?” Confused by the situation at hand, you adjusted your head into a cocked position of concern, placing your hands on your back to ease the ache of your additional weight. “Did something happen?”

“Well, the craziest thing happened, ya see! I had just arrived back at my home at the edge of Ishiguro Forest, when a small group of women approached me! Their clothes were in tatters and they had all kinds of cuts, scraps, and bruises, you name it! They said they had just escaped a demon and were looking for shelter within Oshika, so I allowed them to stay the night. Couldn’t leave a group of injured, beautiful women out in the cold, after all!”

Miwa-san gazed at the doctor with curiosity, lilac bangs bouncing about her face. “Beautiful women, you say? How many were there?”

It was at that moment that your attention shifted elsewhere, Riku-san turning to you with a firm gaze as the pair’s conversation continued in the distance and gestured to the chair behind the counter. “I am going to fetch the fabric scraps while they are distracting one another. Please do your best to make sure that imbecile does not ruin my shop.”

“Hai Riku-san!”

With that, the women reentered the inner workings of the shop, leaving you to observe the two chattering away at the counter.

“Oh! That’s right! Ahmya-san!” The doctor leaned downwards and returned to his full height with a medium sized basket in his grasp, a bounty of various medicinal herbs cradled within it. “Here are the herbs you’ve been asking for, fresh from the valley!”

“Thank you, Hoshi-sensei, you’re too kind!” You took the basket from the man with careful ease, doing your best to steer clear of your protruding belly, something that was becoming harder and harder to do with every passing week.

“Nonsense dear, it was my pleasure! With the flowers in bloom, it was honestly a treat!” Hoshi-sensei flashed you a gleaming smile, pulling his focus away from Miwa-san and their conversation. “Though the bees were not as excited to see me as I was them, hoho!”

Turning away with a giggle, you waddled into the room behind you. “I bet they weren’t, sensei. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll set these back here for safe keeping. Would you care for some tea by the way?”

“That would be terrific, my dear!”

Before the man could say anything else, the chime of the front door rang, and his voice skyrocketed through the air. “Ah, ladies! I was wondering when you were going to arrive! Ahmya-san come meet my gorgeous guests!”

You shook your head at the old man’s antics, taking hold of the tea pot and pouring a cup for your mentor. “I’ll be right there, sensei!”

In the distance, you could hear the muffled voices of women (perhaps three?) conversing with Hoshi-sensei and Miwa-san as you prepared his tea, and in the dark recesses of your mind, an ember of recognition briefly sparked.

Humming softly, you took hold of the cup and made your way back into the store front, a welcoming smile on your lips. “Here’s your tea sensei-!”

The moment your (e/c) eyes met the shocked irises of blue, violet, and brown, you forgot about the tea, about your sensei and friend, about the entire world. Time froze, everything coming together and falling apart in a matter of agonizingly drawn out seconds, the tea cup in your hands slipping from your grasp.

No, no, no it can’t, they can’t be, NO…

With a resounding crash of the tea cup shattering on the floor, time sprinted forward to resume its traditional speed and the situation at hand followed closely behind without a second to recover. None of you could look away from one another, the three women standing across the shop from your position gazing at you with hesitant wonder, shimmers of hope glimmering weakly in their eyes.

To speak proved to be an emotionally taxing chore as Makio’s lips trembled with effort, such brokenness in the voice you remembered as confident and brash.

“Y/N-chan?”

~~~

A/N: So, Part 4 anybody? *runs for cover*

Comments, reblogs, likes are always welcomed and cherished!

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