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#maintagging so people can block it
omegalomania · 2 years
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Wait why does everyone hate brendon urie again?
i was tempted to just say "google it" but honestly panic's pr team is working doubletime to sanitize this bastard so here's a quick primer for those who are out of the loop.
this got long so i’m putting it under a cut. as a warning, this is going to have discussions and screenshots of people saying and doing extremely morally reprehensible shit, including racist, homophobic, and transphobic language, sexual harassment of minors, and more. tread with caution.
i'm also going to top this off with the caveat that brendon has a history of saying generally stupid and casually shitty things that a lot of people have noticed and called attention to, but these were largely unremarkable in the sense that they were the sort of things that i was not surprised to hear a privileged cis dude say. so while that's definitely a factor - the guy has said very shitty, openly racist, gross things, etc., numerous times and on numerous platforms and i do not want to overlook that - i also don't want to pretend like that’s the only thing going on here because there is a lot of other heinous shit at work.
i’m also not going to go into the intricacies of song meanings or lyrics and the like aside from a couple touchstone examples. it’s pretty public knowledge by now that i don’t know how but they found me (henceforth referred to as idkhow, fronted by dallon weekes, who worked/toured with panic for a good eight years as its bassist) has quite a few numbers that take implicit and explicit aim at panic, most prominently the video for their single “do it all the time,” which featured dallon setting fire to all the suits he used to wear on tour with the band. it’s an open secret that dallon was not treated very well during his time with panic, but we’ll get to that. the point here is that i don’t want to focus on conjecture of speculation when we have a wealth of very hard evidence at our disposal.
so let’s get into it.
the real Poop started up late 2019 iirc, when numerous panic fans started passing around stories about zack hall, panic's bodyguard and security guy who had been with the band since the fever era. as the only person who had actually been with the band as long as brendon himself, zack had a fair amount of sway with the fans and was notably very very close with brendon. as more and more people spoke up, it became apparent that zack had done a whole lot of things that i would term as "incredibly fucked up" over the years with people being generally afraid to say anything. it’s been pointed out to me that these accusations only picked up traction around that time; fans have been raising flags about zack’s behavior for years without any reaction from panic’s management.
around this time, discussion began circulating that brendon himself had sexually harassed/assaulted multiple fans (many of them minors at the time). some of these accusations, such as his attempt to solicit nudes from fans, have proven to be way muddier to and harder to confirm, seeing as brendon was allegedly not in charge of his socials for some of this time and one of the people using his handles to solicit fans for nudes was reportedly a former stalker of his, chelsey lynn.
i think it is worth noting that brendon has brought up his history with “stage gay” with founding member, guitarist, composer, and lyricist ryan ross and mentioned that brendon’s attempts to get handsy on stage were not always taken kindly (emphasis mine):
For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth and he would be so mad. I was like, I just want to kiss you bro.
(that’s also the interview where brendon tried to both-sides the issue of roseanne being a hideous fucking racist. so, fun stuff.)
in any case, it took brendon four months to respond to any of the accusations leveled at him and zack. he ended up doing so by filming a two-minute apology on his twitch account (which was locked to subscribers only, meaning it was essentially monetized) [twitter thread summary for those who can't stomach it], only to say that he was just too anxious to say anything and that while zack had been removed from his position, he and brendon would remain close friends. he did not respond to any of the allegations against himself, and proceeded to basically go completely radio silent on all social media until reemerging in 2022 to promote viva las vengeance.
(contrast to this to how speedily he fired touring guitarist kenny harris in 2018 when multiple allegations arose that he was soliciting underage girls. he was removed from the tour in less than twenty-four hours. while the expediency of this was praised at the time, it retroactively raises a lot of questions as to how much brendon and/or zack knew about this behavior beforehand and were simply waiting for a good PR call to do something about it.)
brendon seeing no issues with zack’s behavior and only doing something about it when backed into a corner is very much not a good look, and is suggestive of the possibility that he’s complicit in or at the very least tolerant of this kind of fuckery.
but wait. theres more.
beyond the genuine fucked up behavior, brendon also has a history of severely mistreating his bandmates. we could get into the politics of the infamous schism that split founding member ryan ross (along with bassist jon walker) from brendon and the band’s drummer, spencer smith, but that is its own bag of worms and this post is long enough already. that drama is very well-covered. however, i think it’s worth noting that out of every single member of the band that has come through it, both creative contributor and touring member, the only former member to depart the band amiably was spencer, who took his leave because of struggles with alcoholism. he’s the only one who remains on good terms with brendon to this day, but he’s also technically brendon’s boss at this point since he helps manage the label dcd2, of which panic at the disco is a part.
most apparent and well-documented of brendon’s spotty history with his own bandmates is his treatment of dallon weekes and his wife, breezy weekes, while the former was writing and touring with the band. in that little zack hall clusterfuck above you can see places where breezy talked about being repeatedly harassed but electing to keep quiet so that dallon wouldn't risk losing his job. reportedly they both went to panic's management to put a stop to it, but the bad behavior continued, with both zack hall and brendon’s wife, sarah urie, as propagators. there was public outcry as people insisted that dallon and breezy were making this up for attention. however, eventually former touring guitarist (from 2009-2012) ian crawford (along with his sister), both spoke up to corroborate that zack's behavior (and brendon's enabling of it) were very much recurring issues and were part of the reason that ian left panic in the first place. ian's twitter is no longer active, so all i have are screenshots on tumblr for this one.
dallon has not spoken of his time spent with panic with much fondness. he replaced bassist jon walker in 2009 and contributed creatively on both vices and virtues (2011) and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013). for the former, he was responsible for the concept and album art. for the latter, he got writing credit for all but two of the tracks (casual affair and end of all things), and you can even find an early version of "far too young to die" that was originally penned for one of dallon's earlier projects, the brobecks. the controversial track "girls/girls/boys" (as well as “all the boys”) from too weird was written for dallon's wife, breezy, as a celebration for her pansexuality. the finished product would end up being about an alleged threesome brendon had.
in 2015 dallon stated that he would no longer be involved in panic’s writing process but would continue to serve as touring bassist before departing officially in 2017 and focusing all his efforts on the aforementioned idkhow along with former falling in reverse drummer (and former fellow brobecks bandmate) ryan seaman. while dallon has remained relatively cagey about his time with panic (as is entirely within his rights), he has on occasion commented that he often felt bullied and belittled in the workplace, and once referred to zack hall as "the actual worst person [he had] ever met."
breezy has been more frank about what dallon had to deal with during his time with the band and over time, dallon has been more up front about this as well. turns out dallon was underpaid to the point where he had to take up a second job cleaning carpets while touring with panic, and working side jobs and donating plasma for gas money between tours. this continued well into 2010 and possibly for longer. the ratio was reportedly something like $400 a night compared to brendon's $15k paycheck, so take that as you will.
that's most of what i can remember. i tried to sauce everything i could but please let me know if i missed anything. i also tried to embed the images but doing so kept breaking the damn post cause this is a webbed site so you only get links SORRY
tldr brendon urie is self-absorbed prick who hoards credit, mistreats his musicians, shelters predators, and may very well be a predator himself. fuck him.
also, while i definitely don't want to downplay the severity of just how horrendous a lot of this shit is, in the interests of not wrapping this on a totally down note i do want to mention that people were writing brendon and panic out of the "emo trinity" legacy as early as mid-2019 because everyone hated pray for the wicked that fucking much. after having to endure the musical travesty that is high hopes innumerable times during every single 20-minute grocery store run i was ready to chalk up my dislike of him to sheer annoyance so you can imagine my surprise when i learned that not only was this annoyance justified i wasn't actually hating him nearly enough.
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bugrey · 5 months
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some of you are treating fandom like war and its fucking insane. if your reaction to 'new hlvrai!' is 'people on the internet are going to write things i dont like even more now :(' you need to get checked
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sinni-ok-sessi · 2 years
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Duolingo teaching me important sentences for the Lost Tomb series
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kqluckity · 10 months
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i am honestly so happy a lot of cool artists from my fandom™ are coming over here, it's very nice. but i only want them to come here
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ifritcookie · 7 months
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I quit CR:K about a month ago. This blog will be on indefinite hiatus as a result. I may reblog some fanart now and again but expect minimal posts for the foreseeable future.
Why'd I quit? Game's unplayable.
(Below is my rant/vent on the matter so have a read more cut. Ye have been warned.)
CR:K has had notorious lag issues, especially on iOS devices, for over a year now. It's had crashing issues for almost as long. I first noticed the crashing properly around the BTS event; it was about once every 15 minutes back then. An affront to any reasonable game developer, but... tolerable. By Triple Cone Cup, that time was down to 2 minutes. By Legend of the Red Dragon, one minute. World Exploration could no longer be done, as loading into it prompted an instant crash. By Summer Soda Rock Festa, I could no longer load into the game at all. I can't play on my phone even if I wanted to; I HAVE to use an emulator.
I have submitted support requests. I have submitted feedback tickets. So many people have done the same. The issues remain and continue to get worse and worse with every update.
Cookie Run: Kingdom is a mobile game. My phone isn't new by any means but I keep it in good condition and it can run every other game, including similarly "beefy" ones, without crashing. But even emulators running on good computers struggle with CR:K these days.
It's been obvious for months that testing isn't being done properly and content is just being cranked out for money's sake. Bugs that should be caught immediately (titles shifting out of place on the arena loading screen comes to mind) continue to happen. Assets are breaking in old areas of the game. Pre-existing memory leaks remain unfixed. Crashing and lag plagues more and more players. Nothing is done to try and fix any of this. And yet Devsisters has the manpower to develop and release multiple brand-new games on top of it all? It's just... it's a slap in the face, really.
I stuck around solely for my guild, but CR:K is just a waste of my time at this point. No other game crashes so much; my bar for "playable" is on the FLOOR and it cannot meet it. I miss my guild dearly; I led it for over a year and knew some of my members for even longer. We hit Grandmaster III for the first time in our last season. It was best to quit while we were ahead, given everything. I'm still so proud of all of them.
I was once a paying player, because I LOVED this game despite its flaws. It felt like it had heart and like they cared. What happened to the DevNow's and the spirit? Yes it's more p2w now, but it goes beyond that for me. They took a good game and they ruined it, due to their own negligence.
When I started playing, I promised myself I'd only play so long as it was fun. It's not fun anymore. I leave more frustrated and stressed than I started. So I quit.
I won't be returning to playing until they fix all those critical issues -- if even that. They'll certainly never be getting my money again. Other developers deserve it more.
For those who continue to play, I ask you to vouch for your friends having lag and crashing issues (especially if you're crash-free). It'll affect you too eventually. All the people that said "well maybe it's just your device" to me a year ago are having the same problems now.
Oh, and PSA: check your battery health if you have an iOS device. Mine went from (literally) "100%, in perfect health" to "hey you need to get this replaced" in 6 months, solely from playing CR:K. Thanks, I hate it :)))))))
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cescalr · 1 year
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To be fair to myself abt dsmp accuracy. Its not like I'm even fucking accurate about the yogsmc stuff lmao
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dyketubbo · 1 year
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Hi. If you truly wanted not to argue with or be left alone by Dream fans, perhaps considering not main tagging Dream? It's not like you help a victim like Amanda by antagonizing a group of Dream followers by invading their tag. You could tag your posts as anti-Dream and speak with like-minded individuals. Instead you purposely seek out fans. Just comes across as the antics of an immature 17-year-old.
im not purposely seeking out fans dumbass. stop being self centered it isnt about you. i tag dreamwastaken for 1. organization and 2. for the people who have his tag blacklisted. tagging anti-dream may serve the former, but it defeats the purpose of the latter. i dont give a shit about dream fans, if they have to see my posts about how hes a piece of shit then boohoo. theyre fully capable of blocking me. i dont want to engage with dream fans. im not trying to "seek out fans", thats maybe the dumbest fucking way to interpret me saying "hey if youre going through his tag as a fan of his, block me if you dont care to reconsider being a fan of his". but hey. i dont expect dream fans to be able to understand the concept of leaving someone alone if they hate dream. no skin off my nose in the end
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wikipediadogdotnet · 1 year
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watching fandom discourse unfold like observing bacteria mutate and evolve and consume other bacteria whole at 20000x speed
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piningpebbles · 1 year
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mcyttwt users: use tag filtering
oh also mcyttwt users make sure to take advantage of the blocked/filtered tags feature. this is in your settings, and you can block crit, neg, or any triggers you just don’t want to see on your dashboard, and it’ll filter the post for you. this is completely private and only helps to make your tumblr experience better.
MAKE SURE NOT TO CENSOR THESE WHEN YOU’RE BLOCKING THE TAG. the blocked tag feature will block these tags EXACTLY and not things similar to them (for instance if you block #self h/rm, it won’t block posts tagged with #self harm.)
so, if you really want to make sure you don’t see anything on a particular subject you’ll also want to block all variations of a tag. this can mean if you want to block #self harm, you should block: #self harm, #self harm tw, #tw self harm, #self harm cw, #cw self harm, #// self harm, #self harm //, #tw sh, #cw sh, etc.
i know it’s tedious, but it’s worth it to take a little time and filter out what you need to. and there’s no shame to what you block. crit of a character you like? go ahead. a ship you just don’t want to see? knock yourself out.
oftentimes, if someone didn’t tag something (trigger/content warning wise) that you think should be, you can ask them to tag it and they most likely will (be polite!) but if you go to a blog centered around a certain character, and ask them to tag any mention of that character, they may just decline and that’s okay! just scroll past their content or even block them entirely if you don’t want to interact with them.
i think twitter has different social ideas around blocking, but here you can block anyone for just about anything and no one really gives a shit. block someone for making takes you don’t like, block someone for filling maintags with unrelated content, most times people block others they haven’t even interacted with, and it’s fine.
block what you need to, reblog content you like (especially from artists), change your profile picture from the default ones, write in the tags, DON’T put mcyt posts in the #minecraft of #mineblr tags, and you’ll be just fine.
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riacte · 5 months
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Funny how Tumblr is usually more "positive" compared to Twitter and Reddit when it comes to fan reception of things such as Hermitcraft / Life series / MCC, yet most CCs (naturally, and rightfully!) do not come here often because they have to brave the waters of shipping and other Tumblr "weirdness". Tumblr is for fans by fans.
Maybe some MCC participants don't like seeing predictions and tier lists on Reddit. Hiii, we don't really have that on Tumblr. Just fanart and clips of Scar saying "dong" and people unable to get over teams from 2020 and writing found family fanfiction. And Tumblr usually has overwhelmingly positive reactions to HC / Life series stuff. BUT we have the fanfic and the shipping etc etc.
Tumblr may be a hellsite, but the discourse / negativity is kiiiiiiind of more contained compared to Twitter and Reddit. Like, it exists. Of course it exists. But it appears less frequently on main? And the blocking function is better here compared to Twitter.
Pick your poison! Tumblr has the shipping and fanfic and all of that, but Reddit has the criticism. Reddit has some fanart, but basically no fanfic and God Forbid, shipping. Here on Tumblr, we love your stuff so sincerely and deeply that we sometimes make the block people kiss and are inspired to write novels. But please do not see our kissing fanart or our fics or else we'll die.
You know how some MCC participants don't really like tier lists / predictions because it adds stress? Imagine if that entire genre moved off Reddit to Tumblr so fans could still continue to do that and have fun with each other away from CCs' eyes (yes, exactly like how shippers do with shipping). And the MCC Reddit becomes the equivalent of the Tumblr maintags with only appreciative / helpful posts and fanart and skins (but still no fanfic lol). And maybe all the unconstructive criticism / bashing from the Life series Reddit can get moved to dedicated tags on Tumblr, so fans could still discuss that with less risk of upsetting CCs (yes, once again exactly what shippers do, or like how people bitch about petty things in private circles as not to bitch on main). Idk, just throwing thoughts out here on this fandom hellhole of a webbed site.
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mtmte-bracket · 6 months
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MASTERPOST - Round Three Polls
Welcome (back!) to round three of the MTMTE/LL story arc tournament bracket, where everyone gets to vote on/bicker about which of the story arcs in the comic is The Best For Real, Actually.
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You know the drill:
Following round two, we've matched up the winners of all those polls and pitted them against each other. From here on out all polls are 1v1!
Now there's less polls, we're maintagging 'em.
Even so, if you want to promote a particular poll you have a strong opinion on, reblog it! If you reblog a poll with a significant amount of propaganda for your fave story on it, we'll reblog it with #propaganda as the tag. (Sidenote: don't shittalk other fans or people who like stories you don't, or not only will you not get a reblog or your ask published, you will be blocked.)
This is a masterpost containing links to all round three polls (8 seperate arcs, for 4 polls).
You can also find all these under the tag #round 3 polls on the blog.
Shadowplay vs Little Victories Our Steps Will Always Rhyme vs Overlord Elegant Chaos vs Delphi Scavengers vs Slaughterhouse
Happy round three voting, folks!
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hi! not a confession, just a suggestion.
youve already got "little haters" and "cc neg" for negative comments but you should probably keep them out of main tags as well. its just really upsetting to be scrolling through the main tag then suddenly seeing something like "my blood boils when i watch pearl pov" and "i think martyn should go away." i know this probably sounds complainy (especially since martyn himself seemed to handle it well lol) but i just dont think its good for the wider community when you can see people hating on creators/other fans unprompted
obviously you dont have to listen if you disagree. i otherwise love the blog and seeing other fan opinions (even if negative) so please dont take this as hate towards the blog.
this has been sitting here for a few days, so i want to ask the general opinion
in the meantime, i will be blocking cc's (i only know of gems, martyns and pearls tumblrs. if anyone else has a tumblr of a cc, please send it my way :]) so they wont stumble upon that
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dnfnoodles · 1 month
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I'm maintagging bc I don't fear death but you can do what makes you comfortable :) also I have a few posts drafted just using pics I already had on my phone so it's not like it's super high effort lol
I might post some clips and stuff later, if anything ai will just block dumb people lol
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datastate · 11 months
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hello yttd fans. i really dislike making posts such as these, but i believe many of you do not realize how discourteous you're being and i would like to bring that to your attention for... well, everyone's sakes.
to preface, the your turn to die tags are intended for searching for fan content. this includes:
- fan art, writing, sculptures, knitting, etc. various art forms which feature some level of yttd theming - theories/speculation, commentary, etc. (likely accompanied by screenshots or official artwork) - headcanons, be it drawn or simply compiled in a post - aus/crossovers based upon the main game - edits - so on; just most things that draw from and extrapolate upon yttd, really.
+ ytts tags may have overlap in the yttd tag. this is understandable, as it as an offshoot of the main game.
this does not mean that every single post you make on yttd must be constructive -- i've certainly had times i only wanted to share a cute sketch nankidai made, with little additional commentary. but the difference here is what you choose to maintag, and how often you do so. there are some posts which, frankly, do not need to be maintagged. i'm not telling you to delete them, just not to spam the main tag with them.
many of the current 'daily' yttd blogs in particular have dismissed this. if you intend to post daily, you must realize that you will be interacting with the search tag incessantly. typically, i'd have no issue with this! i love seeing the yttd tag blow up, as it did with the minisodes, ytts, or the chapter updates! it was nice seeing everyone reinvolve themselves, if only briefly.
however, when the tag is overwhelmed by 'daily' blogs which are only ever posting official content that has been out for years -- that is when i take issue. people should not have to avoid the yttd tag simply because it's difficult to comb through for actual art and the like they're searching for; they shouldn't have to block another five blogs to make it useable.
you are overwriting many people's other posts, and with recent tumblr developments, sometimes the search tags have a limited amount of posts they will show - which applies even after you have blocked people. all you will find is a screenshot along the lines of this:
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[ID: Screenshot of Tumblr’s recent search tag, reading: “No recent posts tagged with #your turn to die? / You should go ahead and make one." END ID.]
now, i understand that some people might not be sure what to share, in which case i'd ask you to sit on that before you begin posting on a blog that warrants daily interaction! in general, planning out exactly what you intend to post beforehand is probably a good idea: whether it's edits, headcanons, art, so on...! i'm sure there's something of your own you can showcase & add in your individual flair for your blogs! i don't intend to turn you away from the yttd tag entirely, but i know there's more unique you can add on your own instead of simply reposting the yttd game, one frame at a time... (an exaggeration, but i do hope you understand my point.)
- for example, if it's a case of you not being confident in your art, or feeling as if you need prompts to draw. here is some advice!!
{ confidence } - you should still practice! although it may be discouraging not having people reblog your art as often, it's nonetheless a step in the right direction! hell, i've seen some beginner artists who already show tons of potential: despite their insecurities about linework, they'd have amazing colors; or despite their colors feeling flat, they're slowly trying to hammer away at intriguing or symbolic composition. honing this is what's truly important, and i'm sure the right audience will eventually begin to recognize and appreciate the effort you've put into it.
{ prompts } - in this case, it may very well be fitting to make an introduction post asking for requests! but - if that doesn't work out, there's always option b) searching out prompt generators! or, finding lists of prompts somewhere on tumblr. there were many roleplayers who used to use these for writing, but you could still draw out the scenarios!
all in all, it's just important to find your niche! i don't have a good conclusion to this post. just please be mindful of not spamming the tag in this way. there are other ways to contribute/be known without frustrating other fans... thank you if you've read this post in full.
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utilitycaster · 2 months
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Oof, the first half of the episode is a little rough ngl. I like the second half with Aabria a lot more. The first group does get better as the episodes go on if that helps at all.
Also, to add a bit more context to Kollok: the creators - Hyper RPG - are filmmaking nerds and are mostly known on Twitch for their various virtual productions.
So Kollok has a lot of those post production visual effects and sound effects, which is them using their strengths to create a show, similar to CR and voice acting and D20 and improv comedy.
Obviously that's not gonna be everyone's cup of tea and it can get a little too much I admit, but it's not that bad of a show.
Hi anon,
I am...not sure if you read this in the necessary context (this provides some, and this some more, and if I'm being totally honest based on this I don't feel like you read my entire weird rant, which to be fair, it is long and weird but covers quite a lot of issues I have) but I am coming in with the premise of "I think heavy post production of actual play is a poor choice." It don't care that it's their strength; I think that if that's your strength you would do better to apply it to scripted works or to improvised non-actual play shows.
I will freely admit that I went in expecting it not to be my cup of tea for that reason, and with an added grudge of "being hyped up and cited as brilliant by Polygon's AP/TTRPG team, with whom I almost always disagree," but did genuinely want to give it a shot in as good faith as I could muster, instead of solely talking shit about. I hoped the acting, premise, and GM-ing might shine through even though the effects were unlikely to win me over and indeed were likely to annoy me.
That was not the case. I found the GM-ing (Driving?) style profoundly grating and pretentious (and I have a very high tolerance for pretension), the premise nothing to write home about, and honestly I don't know jack about sound mixing but I do know I have perfectly good hearing and had to crank my laptop speakers up to higher than I have to for CR or D20 for the prologue to the prologue only to subsequently hear some of the most irritating static sounds at top volume for the prologue, so I'm not even impressed by the production.
And to be clear: that's all fine. I think people are drawn to different aspects in actual play, and there's room for all sorts of shows. I might even finish this episode simply because if I were recommending something to someone else, and they quit an hour into a 3.5 hour episode, I'd feel a little miffed. But I really don't expect it to ever be my thing, and I watched it mostly because it felt uninformed to be criticizing heavy production in actual play without watching a notably deliberately heavily produced actual play show.
I do want to wrap up, and this isn't specifically directed at you but: when it comes to my opinions on a work, I'm not going to say I'm never going to be swayed by an anon ask because who knows, it could happen, but it's very unlikely. If I dislike something, I don't really care if other people like it - I'd never send anons or get on their posts or maintag something like the post I just made (and which I made nonrebloggable specifically to prevent it from spreading into fan spaces) but I hope that people who like something can show me the same respect and permit my dislike. If you're a fan I will not be offended nor resentful if you unfollow or block me or whatever you need to do, but I can pretty confidently say that new cast members or improved acting will not change the fact that this is extremely not for me.
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eggtwobroes · 10 months
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big post explaining/apologizing for my (eggtwobroes/theyhitthepentagon) behavior under the read more
sorry for maintagging this i just. think its important
i dont really kniw how to word what im thinking so im like. going to type it as im thinking. but i wanted to make a real genuine post explaining my behavior over the past year, because ive been a dick there is no avoiding it!! this post is going to be about how ive acted from june up until now. im mostly going to be explaining the situations and apologizing. if you see this please feel free to share it around, i know it most likely will not reach alot of people because i have like. a loot of people blocked. and alot of people have me blocked. idk please share this ok thank u
back in june 2022 (specifically one year tomorrow, june 16th) i got like. really worked up after i had foundout that most of my adult mutuals (and some people i followed) were drawing hlvrai nsfw! the only post i had made about it (at least from what i remember) is liiike a not Kind post that basically said "hey if u like hlvrai nsfw please block me i thought that was common sense". after i posted this a large hlvrai artist (either by chance or caused by me) posted like "hey if u shit on hlvrai porn ur homophobic! sex is an important part of gay relationships etc etc"
this caused a Massive out break of discourse over hlvrai nsfw and me getting alot of adults in my inbox being weird towards me. here i feel its important to mention that:
when i was 12, i was around Ex Friends that posted a lot of porn of media i liked. even though most of them were teenagers and not that much older than me it Greatly Impacted Me and how i act, both related to what i saw and how i was treated
i used twitter from ages 12-15 (recently left) and you know how they handle conflict there. its not good
i dont think either of these excuse how i acted (but they may explain it)
the combined pressure of getting a bunch of adults in my anons being (from my perspective) really weird about this 14 year old kid who doesnt want porn artists to interact, and the unhealed trauma of Being Exposed To Homestuck Porn When I Was 12 (a devastating situation that everyone goes though all the time) i didnt really. handle it in a Good Way. which Means i sent horrible anon hate to people.i dont clearly remember if i made alot of public posts about the situation at the time (beyond answering the anons i was getting) but if i did im very very VERY sorry.
i feel like. alot of how i acted during this time (june-early august, mostly) was extremely Dickish and rude. as much as i justify or explain why i acted the way i did, i was still causing issues and handling the situation in a way that was unhealthy for not just myself but for everyone else around me. for this i really genuinely do apologize as much as i can, to the people ive hurt (melonsharks, xenodogz, many other artists) and to the people who were annoyed by me rehashing 3 year old drama. ever since the situation i have been working towards learning to block people and move on if they make content that makes me feel nauseous.
As for how ive acted in recent months, mostly over characterization, im not going to pretend that im already a new person. because im not! as much as i say im trying to be less of an asshole im just Not. it takes effort that i feel like im not putting in.
for those who just Dont look at my pages often enough, i will occasionally make posts about how hlvrai fans treat or characterize the. characters. and lets behonest these posts are really rude and ive been working on at LEAST being more vague or keeping it in private or like. just Not Posting it. but of course i HAVENT done all of those things! ive been really unvague!
ive posted direct screenshots of authors writing (someone younger than me, ive recently learned) to shit on it for being mischaracterized. i should Not have done that. at the very least i should have kept my thoughts to myself, not even shared with my friends.
after reading how other authors and artists have felt about the things ive said, and looking at the way ive come to think of other artists or authors in the community, ive realized that even though i thought i was targetting mischaracterization and poor treatment of the characters, i was harming and discouraging artists and authors who are still learning and growing as creators.
for this, im VERY very sorry to all of the artists and writers ive hurt or discouraged with my posts. i want to personally apologize to joyflameball, for publicly posting about and hating on your writing and the discouragement i caused as a result. i should have never put mischaracterization over your own feelings, and i definitely should not have put your work on blast, especially because we are (i think) around the same age. i will be trying as best as i can to deconstruct the way ive come to think of other creators in this community and support other creators as best i can.
i dont expect to be forgiven for the way ive acted, since alot of this is VERY very recent and so far i dont think ive shown any signs of improvement. i am writing this post now because i want you all to know that i will be trying my hardest to become a better person, change the way i think of other people, and change the way i act in public. i dont think my actions can be excused, as much as i try my best to explain them from my perspective. ive undeniably hurt many people. if i havent addressed something important, or if you have any questions/things to say, please feel free to send me an ask or dm me at wretched yaoi lich#9564 on discord. im most likely going to be queueing this post alot so my followers see it. thank u for ur time
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