#made to sit and watch as our favorites gave their lives for these stones

[what-gs-watching]

“Sunlight over me, no matter what I do.”

This week on what G’s watching - what G’s listening to. 

This is exciting!

Gang, I told you content is how I apparently digest my feelings, and a big ol’ part of that is music. Always has been, my dad has this crazy extensive collection of albums. When I was a kid he always had something on in the car, or playing from the old stereo in our living room. One of my favorite memories is listening to the Beatles’ White Album with him on long afternoons. He’d let me dance around on his feet, and we’d sing every single one, I was the eight year old who knew the entire thing by heart.

Music is a core fucking memory for me, it’s my dad in a nutshell. I remember one year for Christmas, he gave me a bunch of burned cd’s - all of the Beatles broken up by time period, Cat Stevens, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell,  a set of discs that included the top songs broken out by month between 1964 and 1968, six in total. The tracks, he told me eventually, perfectly encapsulated the way those different seasons felt to him - The March/April disc really feels like springtime.

If you knew my dad, you’d know that the effort he put into it was much  more than his usual Christmas attempts, which were: my mother buying the gifts and then writing his name on the tag. 

So the point is: music can be an incredible thing and it’s a large part of who I am. I could write an entire post about all of that (and one about the Beatles, and one about Paul McCartney specifically, and one about Adele, and one about Bo Burham…see, I’m nuanced)  but I won’t. Right now, at least. 

Because I want to talk about Fleet Foxes. Specifically, Helplessness Blues.

This album came into my life at a weird time, I’d moved to a new city and was working my first ever real tech job and I was living with my sister, trying to figure my shit out. Which involved coworker-turned-friend drama because at the time I was absolutely not the best person, and it was very early 20’s of me. You know, when everything feels frenetic and you aren’t sure what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing with your life, so you’re just…doing random things, all the things. 

Which made me extremely susceptible to the creeping kind of darkness infused with hope the album has. I have a penchant for indie folk bands. I can’t help it. I fucking love guitar and thrumming drums with violins and shit. It just feels real to me. Authentic. Organic.

So it’s no wonder Fleet Foxes pulled me. I had a couple of their other songs on random playlists but had never attempted to listen to their first release. And then one day I was getting my oil changed, sitting in the waiting room and I read a review of Helplessness Blues in a magazine, probably Rolling Stone. I immediately bought it, which wasn’t really like me at the time - I was deep into stitching together random lists on my ipod, pulling tracks from all over the place, but I felt like I had to.  Thankfully.

I don’t know what it is about this album, but it’s the perfect mix of mauldin, shiny, twisted, uneasy, exciting, overwhelming. It feels like there’s a story to it, it’s cohesive and purposeful, but I couldn’t tell you what the narrative actually is. And that’s probably the point. It’s whatever the story is to you, and man this album for me is angst and questioning and accepting. It’s become one of those perfect albums you can listen to, never skipping a track, because they’re always a little different depending on the mood you’re in.

And right now, I'm in a weird mood. I’m lost in my life again, and angst sounds about right, so I put the album  on this afternoon after I’d finished my unemployment application and tried to harass the pharmacy for my husband, did some laundry, some dishes, random life things. I decided all I wanted to do with my Friday was chill the fuck out, blast Helplessness Blues through my airpods, and just, be with myself, and  something familiar. Inside my own brain, but with something comforting, lulling me in the background. 

I wanted to wrap myself up in something, and this was the perfect choice. Apparently one of my coping mechanisms is to just put some music on and let it overwhelm me, turning the volume up as high as I can tolerate, and singing along as needed at the top of my lungs. It’s honestly therapeutic. 

That’s what Helplessness Blues is good for. Because it’s quite a production. You can get lost in the story and it’ll morph into whatever you need at the time. Today it’s a squirming  sense of unease, but also triumph. It’s so good.

I could probably talk about all of the tracks, I’m not going to lie, but that sounds exhausting; they’re still lulling my brain right now and I don’t feel like I could pick out each one well enough, they flow together too well. 

However, The Shrine / The Argument is fucking ambitious. It’s so many different things all at once and it’s almost confusing as one song but eventually it’s really, really not. It’s weird and it ends with a horrible cacophony but then delivers really soft and agonizing violins. It has some of my favorite lyrics from the entire album:

In the morning waking up to terrible sunlight / All diffuse like skin abuse the sun is half its size

When you talk you hardly even look in my eyes

In the doorway holding every letter that I wrote / In the driveway pulling away putting on your coat

In the ocean washing off my name from your throat

Because, who hasn’t felt like that? It’s a really specific loss. How else can you say something like that? 

This is clearly getting away from me, but that’s okay. This is what I wanted to do today. I don’t do this very often, Helplessness Blues isn’t in my regular rotation, because it deserves to be listened to and I don’t always have that kind of time. I’m thankful that I do today though, I’m almost through my second rotation, and it's helping. I’m updating the story that it is, for me. Next time I listen to it, it’ll remind me of this stupid thing I’m going through and all that I am right now, a little bit. 

For example: listening to Blue Spotted Tail was very Crowley and Aziraphale today.  That’s apparently where I am, so now it’s part of the story. 

Why in the night sky are the lights hung? Why is the earth movin’ around the sun? Floating in the vacuum with no purpose not a one…

Poor little Antony J.

 Why is life made only for to end? Why do I do all this waiting then? Why this frightened part of me that's fated to pretend?

So. If you need to feel ways about things (we all do, now and again, right) this album will do it for you. And this is a terrible love letter to it, but just…trust me.

#fleet foxes #helplessness blues #what g's watching #comfort music #Youtube

[nancypullen]

It’s DERBY DAY!!!

Late last night I baked a few cupcakes so that the little miss and I could decorate them this morning.  The cupcake liners are red roses (run for the roses) and the decor speaks for itself.  Here’s hoping that they taste better than they look.

After breakfast I started a pork butt in the slow cooker so that we can have a Derby dinner of pulled pork.  I’m throwing together a broccoli salad and a couple of other things, keeping it simple so I can sit down and enjoy the race.  Crossing my fingers that my gray horse wins.  I never bet enough to get rich, but if Tapit Trice wins I will be placing a healthy Sephora order.  Wrinkle cream ain’t cheap.  It also ain’t working, but that’s a story for another day. Around 10 o’clock we ladies went to Easton to paint pottery.  Before departing Tennessee a dear pal gave me a gift certificate to Kiln Born Creations.  Painting pottery and chatting was a favorite past time of ours in Mt. Juliet and her card said to use the gift to create special memories with the grandgirl.  I didn’t intend to wait this long to use it, but between Covid, kidney stones, her 4 year old attention span, etc we did end up waiting.  I’m so glad we did.  Today Little Miss Magic and I painted a fairy house for her garden.  She believes in fairies with all her heart and is convinced she’ll have tenants.  I’m going to have to order some tiny shoes or items of clothing to drop inside from time to time. She’ll know they’ve been there.

Once it’s fired those colors will become brilliant and glossy. I think any fairy would be happy to live there.  

Can we take a moment to appreciate that adorable dress?

That little Peter Pan collar and the blue waist sash - swoon!  My sister made that dress for her daughter twenty plus years ago.  She has gifted me with dresses, a kuspuk (also handmade), dance recital outfits, scads of American Girl dolls, clothes, and equipment, and books.  Aunt Cathi is an absolute celebrity in my grandgirl’s eyes.  When we see a car that even slightly resembles hers, she’ll sigh and say, “I wish that was Aunt Cathi coming to visit.”  She’s a fan. Me too.

Right now I’m actually home alone. The gang went off to an animal festival sponsored by Caroline County’s Humane Society. There’s supposed to be live music, food trucks, alpacas and other interesting animals, fun booths for kids, dogs doing tricks and chasing lures, and lots more. I declared that they should go on without me because I still had some meal prep to do, which I truly did need to do if I intend to enjoy the Kentucky Derby.  That didn’t take long and now I’m tapping away on the ol’ blog and talking to you.  I may have gotten the better end of the deal.  I hope they come home with an alpaca.  We can add it to the squirrel that is currently residing in our garage and refusing to leave. I’m not sure when he got trapped in there, but he tore up the blinds at one window trying to get out.  Mickey cracked the big garage door, but apparently Steve the Squirrel has gotten pretty comfy where we store the bird seed.  He was heading toward the door at one point and Mickey raised it which spoked him and he ran back into the shelving. When we came home from Easton and painting pottery I was assured that Steve has gone.  I don’t think I believe it.  I don’t want to go into the garage to grab gardening stuff or spray paint something and end up with a squirrel in my hair.  It doesn’t do any good to demand that he show himself, he won’t do it.  I asked Mickey why he thinks the squirrel is gone and he said (and I quote), “Because I saw one that looked just like him run across the street.”  This man can’t tell the difference between Ann Margaret and Lucille Ball (”Well, they both have red hair.”) but expects me to believe he can ID a squirrel at twenty yards.  Steve is probably behind the shelves raising a family right now. But I can’t think about that right now.  I’ve got DERBY plans. The more I do now, the more likely I’ll be able to watch the most exciting two minutes in sports.  I’m going to tune in early to ooh and ahh over the hats, listen to the crowd sing My Old Kentucky Home, and get chills when I hear  the “Riders up!” call.  I love it all. Even if I’m not a winner today (Forte is still the favorite), I’m having a ball. Hope your Saturday is relaxing and that you have as much fun as you’d like.  That may mean a big outing or an afternoon nap.  Your call. Sending out love, grab some if you need it. Stay safe, stay well, RIDERS UP! XOXO - Nancy

[spnae]

Chapter 32 Coming Clean?

When Buffy and Willow returned to the castle they promptly deposited their shopping bags upstairs. Then they made their way back down to the living room to check on Ruby. Spike, per usual, was lounging on the couch watching TV.

“Hey, there’s my favorite dead guy,” Buffy, went over to him. Spike sat up a little to make room for her and she snuggled in next to him.

Spike looked up at her, “Hey you, how was your day?” he asked.

Buffy huffed, “Oh you know. Probably said way too much to Callum‘s mom.” Spike raised an eyebrow at her, urging Buffy to continue, “Yeah I kind of told her that I was a Slayer too—“

“And now you’re regretting it?”

Buffy shrugged.

“Not like you told her anything about the school or the girls right?”

“Nah, I just gave her some quip about the life saving properties of CPR.”

“Right. Still think Angel was a bloody git. Xander told me about that whole thing. He had to do CPR on you because Angel has ‘no breath’? Oh yeah and those squeezy breathing bag things EMTs carry around don’t work either. Right. I bet the idiot just doesn’t know CPR. Git.”

Buffy looked at him blinking, “What?”

“Don’t NEED to breathe, Pet, doesn’t mean we can’t inflate our lungs. Cigarettes wouldn’t have much of an appeal if that were the case.”

“Huhh. I— huh. Ok, sure, so do you know CPR?”

“Course I do. Dawn had to learn it in Health class while you were a less-solid heavenly-body and after that gem of a story I had Xander and Dawn teach me.” He shrugged. “Anya suggested using me as a practice dummy but that was a hard pass for me.”

“Good to know. So how’s it been here?”

Spike sat up a little straighter, turning to see Willow a little better, “Yeah, could’ve used you, Red, a little bit ago. She had another one of those blasted panic attacks. She seems a bit calmer when you’re around. I finally got her calmed down but that took some doing. She keeps going on about ‘Lauren’, but won’t say anything else.”

Willow sat down in a chair looking troubled, “Yeah she brought her up a couple of times already. I’m really wondering if we should be looking for a body.”

Spike rubbed the back of his neck, “Probably a good bet. What do you birds have going tonight?”

Willow perked up, “I was going to ask Buffy if she would help me collect the stones I need for the protection spell around the property while it’s still light out and then I thought we could get Xan to help us engrave them with runes tomorrow night. Maybe we could watch a movie!”

“I’m a fan of this idea. Big old fashioned Scooby-gang fun. Stones instead of stakes.”

“That’s what I thought! I have two dremel tools for you guys to use. I figure I’ll draw out the runes, you two carve them and then pass them back to me to charm them.”

“Bloody hell, don’t hold back on the excitement,” Spike groused. “That covers tomorrow, what about tonight?”

“Girls are on patrol, I’m taking a night off with my favorite people.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“Oh and you have big plans?”

“I’m still one of your favorite people aint I? I got some plans for tomorrow after we get Rubes settled in at the house and figured I’d go run some errands and get the bike after. Reckon it’s been sitting at Steve’s since we came back from Edinburgh, ‘bout time I got it back.”

“Oh yeah like that’s super exciting.”

“Smart ass,” he pulled her closer as he tickled her mercilessly, “Bit more adventurous than carving rocks!” He growled out playfully. Buffy laughed and squirmed as he continued to tickle her. He didn’t stop until she was laying on top of him panting for breath. He gazed into her sparkling eyes and dug one hand into her hair. He swallowed her final laugh when he cut her off with a long lingering kiss.

Willow cleared her throat, “You two do have a room last I checked.”

Spike hummed in mild protest as Buffy broke the kiss, then sighed, “Red’s right, Pet. I’d originally thought about going on patrol or playing cards or something tonight but I could do with a night in. Especially if you lot are doing the arts and crafts part of witchcraft tomorrow.”

“I have all four Level 4 girls out on patrol tonight, it would be a serious waste of your time.”

“Home it is then,” he grinned up at her wickedly, “might not be such a dull night after all.”

“You’re bad,” Buffy giggled.

“Don’t you forget it, Love.” He pulled her in for another kiss.

“Seriously, you guys literally have a room here. Upstairs, in fact.”

“That we do, you don’t have to collect your rocks right this minute do you?” He asked as he trailed a finger from behind Buffy’s ear and down to her cleavage letting his searing blue gaze linger.

Buffy stood up pulling Spike with her, “Humm, Willow—“

“I’ll keep tabs on Ruby. Just don’t be too long, I really do need to get those stones gathered, the carving might take a while.”

“You heard the little witch, time is of the essence,” Spike backed away out of the room grinning at Buffy as he did.

Buffy couldn’t help the smile on her face, “He’s— eh— I’m just going to—“

“Go on, get out of here.”

Spike was waiting for her by the elevator when she caught up to him. He gave her a hard, dangerous look and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders to kiss her. Buffy’s mind snapped to attention and she shoved him into the elevator, pinning him against the wall. Spike let out a low growl at the impact and moved a splayed hand across the small of her back, holding her to him.

“You gonna give it to me rough then?” He grinned, “Might not get you back to your mates in a timely manner if we take that route.”

“We can do quick and rough.”

“Deal,” he murmured as he nipped hard at her neck with blunt teeth and shoved her against the wall of the elevator fumbling for the controls.

Spike managed to get the elevator moving and a moment later they had reached their floor. They paused long enough to exit the small space and then they were once again locked together kissing, groping, and shoving each other roughly against the walls in the hallway like a sexually fuelled pinball game.

Buffy pinned Spike against their bedroom door until she found the doorknob. The door gave way suddenly and the two of them fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs. They rolled together and Buffy positioned herself to shut the door with a kick. Spike gripped her skirt while Buffy yanked at his belt buckle.

“Oh God Buffy, I love you,” Spike groaned into the junction of her neck.

“You’re mine, all mine,” Buffy murmured possessively in his ear. Spike was usually the one to play that card. For some reason, she suddenly felt the need to say it. To claim him roughly. “Mine,” she bit his neck with her blunt teeth, eliciting a gasp from him.

“Always,” he growled, pulling her into a rough kiss. Her words and the bite had kindled a fire in him; he ran a hand roughly up her skirt. Buffy fumbled with his pants a little before she was able to release his smooth hard length from them. She stroked him from base to tip running her thumb over the tip feeling the delicious moisture there.

He moaned into her mouth as she stroked him greedily, “Slow down, Pet. Said quick, not instant. Want to get to the main event.” He twitched his fingers gripping her inner thigh. He pulled at the little panties, ripping them off of her and rubbed a thumb over her wet heat. Buffy gasped as he stroked her.

She was already wet and she let out a little growl of her own at the unnecessary foreplay, “Now. I want you now.” She repositioned herself forcefully, gliding down over him. She clamped around him as he rolled his hips driving himself into her. She gasped again as he pushed in fully and she met his thrusts with equally rough enthusiasm. Spike gasped.

Buffy grinned, gripping her fingers into his now semi-freed curls and pulled roughly. She brought him to her for a deep bruising kiss. Tongues pushing for dominance. Spike bit her lip making her shudder and she yanked his head back forcefully.

Spike grinned at the pain, “Getting close are you?”

Buffy increased her pace and he pushed into her harder with a grunt. Her inner walls crushed against him as the pressure built up. With the hand still tangled in his hair she cradled him to her shoulder, “Bite me,” she gasped. The fingers of her other hand reached under his shirt clawing at his back leaving deep scratches in his pale flesh.

Spike didn’t hesitate. Pulling at her shirt roughly, he bit with blunt teeth into the space between her shoulder and neck.

“Spike! Harder!’

He vamped, sinking his fangs in slightly. He wasn't feeding and it wasn’t a deep bite. Buffy gasped and felt herself nearing release. She wrapped her leg around him pulling him into her with almost bone crushing force. He increased the pressure of the bite very slightly and retracted his fangs. Then ran his tongue along the bite shuddering pleasurably at the taste of her. The effect of her blood was instant. He felt his body respond as he continued drilling into her hard, making her scream, “Gahhh! William!”

Buffy’s head swam as she lost herself in the myriad of sensations coursing through her.

He pushed into her pounding hard and fast, the pressure building. He held on until he felt her start to quiver. She gave his hair a yank as they came together hard in a quivering mass of tangled limbs. Pleasure and pain. Fast and rough and worth every second. Buffy kissed him as she continued to grind her hips against him.

After a moment, Spike placed a firm hand on her lower back holding her in place against him, as she caught her breath.

“Think we made good time?”, he teased.

Buffy laughed into the crook of his neck, “No idea. It was definitely fun though.”

“Been a little while since we got a bit rough.”

“Still fun.”

“Girl’s got a vamp kink.”

“Matches your Slayer kink.”

“Bloody well right, could go for a bit more of that if you’re willing,” he said, pulling her into another hard kiss.

“Not now. You’re being punished.”

“What for? Not the bite, surely. I barely had a taste and you literally asked for it.”

“Did you really have to rip my undies? I liked those ones.”

Spike rolled his eyes and flopped over onto his back, “Bloody hell, I’ll get you a sodding new pair, Slayer.”

Buffy grinned widely, she really loved to mess with him.

***********

By the time Buffy and Spike went back downstairs, Willow had already found a couple of buckets they could use to carry stones in. She held them up to her gleefully as Buffy and Spike came back into the living room “Ready? I found one for each of us, we can pretend it’s an Easter Egg Hunt!”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh Will, I missed you. Yes, rock my world with your witchy egg hunt.”

Spike turned to her quizzically, “Buffy, sweetheart, I think your pun mixer is broken.”

“Nah, that was solid.”

“You’re better than this.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure I can dig up some rockin' puns before we finish this project.”

“Oh god, here we go.”

“You love my puns.”

“Just so long as you're not putting marzipan in my pie plate we’re good.”

“To that I say a big ‘Huhh?’”

Willow rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry about it, Buff, it was a Buffy-Bot thing that you totally missed with the whole being dead.”

“Oh come on, the rock thing wasn’t bad, in fact, I think I rock the rock puns.”

“I’ll let you rock me with any rock pun you want to throw at me.”

“Didn’t we just do that, my hot lava?”

Spike grinned, “Oh yeah, got our rocks off, real good.”

“You know I’m going to win a pun-off right?”

He chuckled, “We keep it up and we’re going to end up back upstairs.”

Buffy placed her hands on his hips, pulling him closer, “Are you still taking requests?”

“I’ll be your short-order cook, hot and ready or cool and slow, whatever tickles your fancy, Pet.”

Buffy felt herself melting into him for a kiss before she could stop herself.

“Okay! As fun as this is, I think maybe Buffy and I should get a move on. These stones won’t collect themselves.” Willow said as she wiggled the buckets at them.

Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah right, I’m gonna yeah— check in on Ruby. She’s still in rough shape. Sort of glad they don’t have things ready for her over there, kinda want to keep an eye on her.”

“That won’t take long though, what are you going to do until tonight?”

“Might poke around the library a bit.”

“I’m surprised you haven't read every poetry book in there yet.”

“Yeah well, it’s been nice having a proper in-house library. I never realized how much I missed it until we got here.”

“You know, you can start collecting books and build your own library in our new place. The attic already has a ton of shelves, it’s probably what they used it for anyway or maybe you could have it in your Spike-space.”

“Could work, we’ll talk later. Mustn't dottle, Pet,” he kissed her once more before heading towards the utility room.

************************

The two friends had been collecting smaller stones from along the border of the property and the low stone wall surrounding it for over thirty minutes. They had been chatting idoly when Willow suddenly cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“Buffy I have a confession to make.”

Buffy felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, she had expected something was still off between them. She turned towards her friend, “I’m listening.”

Willow straightened up after picking up another stone, “I’ve been going through those files Wes sent.”

“Yeah the stuff on Angel right?”

“Well, yeah. There’s a bunch of that but that’s not what I’ve been working on.”

“It’s not?”

“Wes also sent me what looks like pretty much everything W&H had on Slayers… there’s a lot and it’s not all translated so it’s been really slow. I’ve had Andrew and Dawn working on pieces but neither of them have a full picture of any of it.”

“Does Giles know?”

“He knows Wes sent some stuff but I didn’t tell him exactly how much. A lot of it is stuff Giles already has, but there’s some new stuff too. I found a couple things that are a little— disturbing,” Willow said as she picked up a few more stones along the way.

“Disturbing? Like how disturbing? What do you know, Will?”

“Well that is sort of the problem. I haven’t been able to get through all of it and then Xander just brought back a bunch of books and scrolls and a stone tablet he found in Africa so now there’s that much more to go through. He was supposed to be showing those to Giles today. A few of them are referenced in the files from W&H. It might still take a while to figure out. I’m hoping I can start playing connect the dots soon.”

“Okay— I’m hearing a lot of words but I’m not hearing why all the squirrely. What dots are you connecting?”

“Remember a while back when we were talking about the fact that there hasn’t been a record of any Slayer making it past the age of 25; like there’s some crazy expiration date?”

Yeah, Niki Wood is the oldest I ever heard about and she didn’t reach her 26th birthday.”

“Yeah well I started translating some of the new stuff, I brought it with me to have Giles take a look at it too— If I found what I think I found— This one part I was reading has been seriously bugging me. It mentions the Slayer receiving her gift by the end of her 25th year. I took another look at it after talking to Spike and it looks like another part translates to ‘Death Wish’.”

“You told Spike?”

“Oh goddess no! It was just something he said; it sparked an idea in my head and I went to check on it this morning. That's when I put together the Death-wish thing.”

“Death is my gift right? But I already sort of returned that gift… or well—“

“I returned it for you— yeah…” Willow sighed and leaned against the stone wall. “That’s the thing I’m so worried about... I haven’t finished the translation but, I think I might have accidentally— made you sort of immortal—ish— maybe.”

“Huhh?”

“The stone tablet Xan brought back, it’s one that W&H didn’t have, anyway it seems to contain part of the original working from creating the first slayer. It’s written more like a story so it’s difficult to figure out but... I don’t know. I don’t have anything solid on it yet but I just— I had to come clean and let you know. I don’t know if what I did made things better or worse for you and I won’t know until I finish going through all this stuff. It’s been kind of an obsession.”

“Is this why things are strained between you and Kennedy?”

“The obsession part maybe. I haven’t told her any of the rest of it. I’ve been too afraid too say anything, and… we really haven’t been talking much for a while now. It’s part of the reason why I’m hoping Kennedy is gone before I get back.” Willow hesitated and Buffy was sure there was something else she wasn’t saying.

“I just need to be able to focus on this because this could really be big and I just I can’t right now, Buffy! I can’t deal with Kennedy. I can’t deal with thinking about you dying again or maybe not being able to die at all because I brought you back from the dead and maybe that whole thing doesn’t apply to you anymore and maybe it doesn’t apply to any Slayer anymore because I used you as the basis of the sharing spell instead of Faith. I have no idea, I just don’t know—“ she sniffed.

Buffy’s mind was reeling. She blinked several times as she stared at her, anger suddenly flared, “Willow! I just sent a girl home to her mother in a box! She definitely wasn’t immortal!”

“She was also 15, not 25, or more specifically 26. I have to do more research and make sure the math is right but I’m pretty sure that if you make it to 26 you probably aren’t going to age anymore— maybe none of you will IF they can stay alive that long. You might still be able to die but it would have to be something seriously extreme.”

“Like a beheading? So what, I’m like the freaking Highlander now? Buffy McLeod?”

“Probably, or something similar, I think— I don’t know yet I really have to do more research.”

Buffy looked at her friend aghast, blinking several times, “Why are you telling me now, if you’re not sure?”

“Because it’s ripping me up inside. The not telling. I feel like I’m lying to my best friend about something I did. A big something that could affect your entire- possibly very, very long life,” she was almost in tears. Willow took a deep breath.

“But we don’t know for sure,” Buffy paused for a moment, “and I can think of one plus.”

Willow looked at her knowingly, “Yeah I guess it would be sort of perfect for you and Spike.”

It was a lot to take in, “But why 25?”

“As far as I can tell, I think it has something to do with ‘the end of maidenhood’,” Willow scoffed as she rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Sick bastards. Like it’s not enough to take a girl and turn her into the Slayer but then they have to shorten her already short life with a death wish AND an expiration date?”

“I’m not really sure yet but that’s exactly what it looks like. It seems like it was worked right into the original spell. Probably for that reason.”

Buffy nodded, “Sure, young and pretty girls are better bait for the trap,” she snorted derisively, “Well, we still have some time before I get there and if you’re right I could still die before that. Yay me!”

“That’s just it— the other girls can, that's for sure— but I think you might be different.”

“Because you brought me back.”

She nodded, “That wound you got in the Hellmouth should have been fatal, but you got back up and not only continued to fight, but you also made a pretty daring escape, Buff.”

“But recently I had some broken ribs and I swear it took a couple of days longer to heal than usual.”

Willow chewed on her lip, “I’ve suspected since the Hellmouth that your pain tolerance has also elevated. It was always pretty high but now— I don’t know if you are really feeling the extent of your injuries. You might have had more damage than you thought, maybe even a punctured lung and you might not have noticed. Without X-rays I doubt we’ll ever know to be sure.”

Buffy thought about that as they kept walking along. It made a kind of sense really. “You know, I kinda think Spike probably would have been able to tell me if my lung was punctured… he’s no doctor but he knows anatomy pretty well and he has pretty good hearing. Might have just been broken worse than we thought. The bruising was pretty ugly, I don’t normally bruise like that. That vamp pretty much crushed my rib cage on one side.” She paused thinking about the head injury she got at the hospital and suddenly wondered just how hard she had hit her head.

“Good point.”

They had nearly finished their circuit around the property before Willow spoke up again, “So when were you going to tell me about you and Spike’s new place and when are you guys planning on moving?”

“I, oh yeah— it won’t be for a while, it needs some work and we wanted to talk to Dawn about it first. I can show you after we’re done here, it’s on the other side of the castle where we’re going to be keeping Ruby.”

“Yeah, we’re almost done here anyway. If you’re going to bring it up to Dawn, you should probably do it now. I don’t know if she’s gonna be able to transfer to Edinburgh for the fall semester.”

“Oh it’s not going to be ready that fast. Maybe by the spring semester if we’re lucky but that sort of brings me to my next point. I hoped you might want to take the other half of the duplex.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. This was all stuff that I wanted to talk to you guys in person about…”

“I— yeah that’s sort of why I put off telling you about this stuff too.”

“Seems like we’re both guilty of that then.”

“Ehh yeah, seems like. Are you going to tell Spike about this?”

Buffy had to think about that, “Of course. Eventually. I don’t want to get his hopes up too much… Just in case.”

Willow chewed on her lip, “I’ll keep at the books and go over the spells, do some calculations and see what I turn up.”

“Thanks Wil.”

“What’s your personal Witch on retainer for anyway?”

***********

The next night after the sun had gone down Willow helped Buffy and Spike gather up the blankets and pillows Ruby had been using and helped them get Ruby settled into the basement of the duplex. Buffy was a little surprised by how different the basement room looked now. She had just expected Xander and Callum to set up a cot and a mini fridge in a corner and call it done.

The guys, and Buffy suspected Faith too, had gone above and beyond. In addition to the cot and a mini fridge, they had also found some secondhand furniture for the space. A little bedside table, two comfortable but shabby reclining chairs and a small dresser, as well as a couple of mismatched end tables, an old television set and a couple of mismatched lamps. On the nightstand was a hot pink lava lamp and a large stack of old magazines. A small crate of dog eared paperbacks sat next to the bed. The overall effect was one of dank comfort.

“Not bad,” Spike smiled, “nice homey spot down here.”

“I sort of asked Xan to make it as cozy as possible but I didn’t think they would do all this.”

Willow deposited Ruby onto the cot. Ruby looked around the space with wide eyes. Then watched as Willow went over to the little bathroom, “Looks like someone cleaned this up too. There’s even a few towels and shampoo and stuff in here. A nice shower might be a good idea. Maybe you’ll feel a little better.”

Ruby scoffed, “Right, because a shower is going to wash away my sins. Soapy bubbles gonna clean up what I did?”

“Ain’t nothing going to do that. You can apologize to your family, there might still be hope there. Donning a white hat can soften the edges a bit but you’re gonna carry that weight a long time, Rubes. In the meantime, some scrubbing bubbles’ll do you wonders. Looks like you even got laundry capabilities set up.”

Willow quietly moved over to the washer and dryer in the laundry room to investigate the set-up.

“But you’re not alone, you have us now,” Buffy interjected as she wrapped an arm around Spike, “and you have a place to stay. You can fix it up however you want.” She left Spike’s side and opened the dresser drawers, there was a couple of old t-shirts and a few pairs of sleep pants but that was it. She pulled out a set, they were clean and would be comfortable to sleep in but not much else. “You’ll need some clothes—“

Willow stuck her head out of the laundry room, “Looks like the handy-guys were busy in here too. The washer has an out of order sign taped to it but there’s a sink and some laundry soap in here. There is a note on the dryer, looks like it’s from Xander— use at your own risk— Humm ok, so at least there’s a sink and some laundry detergent,” she crumpled up the note from Xander.

“We can always go over to your dorm or your parents house and get some stuff for you or I can go,” Buffy added.

Ruby swallowed and nodded once, “What would you tell them?”

“What do you want me to tell them? I can tell them anything you want as long as it’s at least close to the truth but I really think they would rather see you.”

“You do?”

Spike narrowed his eyes at Ruby, “Course they would. Although I don’t recommend going here right off, it might do you some good to see them. We will go with you, explain the soul thing and all,” Spike added.

“We don’t have to do it tonight do we?”

Willow spoke up, “Not tonight. We’ll call your parents first. You have time, we’ll do it when you’re ready.”

“How are they?”

Buffy answered, “They’ve been better. They have one daughter in a coma because their other, undead-daughter put her there, so yeah, they’ve been better,” Buffy watched her. To the best of her knowledge, this was the first time Ruby had asked about her parents at all since she had been with them. “We can even go see Sheena if you want.”

She nodded, “I think I’d like that.”

“Maybe tomorrow night then. I’ll see what I can do about clothes. You get settled in.”

“Ta,” she cleared her throat, “Ahh, thanks for everything. I think a shower sounds pretty amazing right now.”

“There should be blood in the fridge there,” Spike went over to double check, opening the little fridge door and glancing up at Ruby, “Looks like they got you a nice little variety and a little microwave. That’s right nice of them. Looks like you’ve got just about everything you need here.”

Buffy nodded in agreement, “Why don’t you do your thing, take a shower put on some comfy clothes, settle in with some reading material or watch some TV or something just try to wrap your head around stuff.”

Ruby nodded again, still looking a bit blank but maybe a little bit more hopeful then she had a few minutes ago, “No you’re right, moping isn’t really doing me much good now is it?”

“We’ll check in on you later.”

And with that the three of them went back upstairs into the kitchen. “I’m feeling oddly good about this,” Buffy smiled.

“She’s not out of the woods yet but it’s a start,” Spike said a little distractedly as he watched Willow. She was wandering around the kitchen checking the cabinets and the countertops. “Alright there, Red?”

“I was just thinking about how I want to refinish the kitchen. I have a decent amount saved up, I was thinking about getting a house eventually, but I think this would be even better.”

Buffy squealed and pulled Willow into a hug, “Do you really mean it? You said you’d think about it but—“

“Rome is nice but I really like the idea of living close to the action. I sort of already have a job here. I won’t have to do the long distance teaching thing anymore and I’ll also be closer to the Devon Coven which is definitely a plus.”

“Yay-ness!”

Willow grinned, “Xander needs a place too, I bet he’d take the second room.”

“We’ll ask him tonight,” Buffy smiled brightly. For over a year the Scoobies had been spread across multiple countries and now it seemed like things were finally starting to come together. A little hole in Buffy’s chest that she hadn’t really noticed before suddenly closed up a little.

Her smile lit up the room. Spike couldn’t help but smile back. He loved seeing her smile. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck and fiddling with his overgrown hair, “Good to know your neighbors I guess. Anyway, I’d better be off, Pet.”

“Us too.”

They made their way out into the entryway, Spike gave Buffy a chased kiss, opened the door to the other side of the duplex and stopped. “Humm, Buffy? Sweetheart?”

She turned back to him, “Yeah?”

He pressed his hand against the invisible barrier now blocking him, “Looks like our little experiment finally paid off. Think I’m going to need an invite into our place, Pet.”

Buffy bound over to the door going inside, “Welcome home! Come on in!” She grinned.

Spike hesitated, “You know what this means right? You’re ready for this?”

“Get your ass in here, William!”

He crossed into the threshold and let Buffy pull him into a long kiss, “Hoped you’d say that,” he grinned.

#fanfic #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy fanfic #buffy x spike #spuffy #bound #spike x buffy

[dearcraziness]

Chapter 50.

Bright wonderful day. The sun's rays made their way through the soft leaves of the trees, penetrating into the stems of flowers and branches of bushes, creating pleasant shadows. Everything around breathed the life of the autumn mood, magically shimmered thanks to the strong light.

The friends' house was just as cozy and wonderful: everyone found what they would like to do. Boris was reading a newspaper, Alice was watching various movies in a mini-cinema, and Bendy and Lara were rehearsing a new production of a play that Bendy had written. The sweethearts also discussed some organizational issues, such as the choice of costumes and decorations. Soon after, they decided to relax a bit, sitting on a soft yellow sofa. Bendy looked at his script again, took a pen, saying, "Dear, do you think it would be better to replace the words in the third line of my hero's speech?... Instead of: 'Our love will always illuminate the path of living together,' write: 'Such strong feelings, strong spiritual ties will always be in our hearts'..."

"I like both options: leave the one you think is more suitable..."

"Alright, Laurie, perhaps I'll choose the second one... Well, now let's move on to other things... What do you want to do, starlight?..."

"I haven't thought about what's better to do yet, what do you suggest, Bendy?..."

"We can listen to our favorite songs and sing some of them ourselves afterwards, if you don't mind..."

"I'll be happy..."

"Great, then let's get started, dear..."

Bendy and Lara went out into the corridor and headed to the recording studio, however, they were stopped halfway by Boris, who hurriedly approached them and said, "Bendy, Lara, I have a request for you, could you help?"

Bendy and Lara exchanged glances, after which Bendy replied, "Of course, Boris, what's the problem?..."

"I need you to find some of these magic stones, they are located near the Large Forest..."

Boris took out a map and showed the marked places. The devils looked attentively with their eyes lit up with anticipation of a new journey.

"I suppose you needed such stones because of their interesting features?" Bendy asked. "Most likely, they produce much more energy for devices than our generators?..."

"True. How did you know?"

"Otherwise you wouldn't have paid attention to the article in your newspaper..."

"Damn, you're right," Boris said in a friendly tone.

Friends smiled, and Bendy continued, "We'll be glad to go on a trip, right, Lau?..."

"Of course, it's always interesting in new places..."

"Definitely, dear... Boris, don't you and Alice want to go too?..."

"I'd go, but..."

Boris didn't finish, because the door from the mini-cinema suddenly opened, Alice came out. Boris looked at her tenderly and she reciprocated. Then she went to her room, and Boris, turning to Bendy and Lara, explained, "I promised my pumpkin today I'll read new issues of the interior magazine with her..."

"Have a great day..." Bendy replied.

"It's always fascinating to read about the interior..." Lara added.

"Totally agree with you, sweetheart..." Bendy smiled, looking tenderly at Lara.

She smiled too.

"Well, good luck on your journey..." Boris said. "Take the map with you."

The mechanic held out a light gray sheet, which Bendy took.

"Thanks. See you."

"Bye."

Boris went to Alice, the imps began to pack their things for the hike. The demon put everything necessary, as well as things for leisure. Soon, after rechecking the contents, the young man put the rucksack on his shoulders.

"Berry, are you ready to hit the road?..."

"Of course, lemon... Did everything fit in the rucksack?..."

"Definitely everything we need... There are a lot of pockets and divisions, so everything is in its proper places... Let's go outside, Larry..."

A magnificent view opened before the sweethearts: the trees shone in the rays of the sun, which also gave its warmth to flowers, bushes, soft bright green grass; small birds flew through the clear blue sky, as if hurrying to distant lands. Bendy and Lara walked along the garden with pleasure and admiration and continued their way through the Big Forest. The magic stones were nearby, so the devils walked slowly, enjoying each other's company and the landscape around.

"We'll reach the desired point soon..." Bendy said. "Do you like it here, sunshine?..."

"Of course, fluffy, I already see so many wondrous sights..."

"Also so calm and peaceful... You can also find a lot of new plants for yourself, because every corner is full of miraculous surprises..."

"That's for sure..."

"Let's see what exactly we find today..."

Only Bendy and Lara went outside the forest, they were surrounded by swampy terrain and several boulders overgrown with moss. The devils went a little further, as shown on the map. Suddenly they heard a rustle coming from somewhere nearby. Bendy looked incredulously at the dry tree, when suddenly a heavy branch fell from above - the young man pulled the girl to him, making a protective field over her head with his magic.

"Are you okay, honey?..." the demon asked.

"I am..." the imp replied.

"Sorry for such an unexpectedness, I should've used the protective spell earlier..."

"No need to worry, dear, you quickly realized what to do..."

"The main thing is your safety... I think other nuisances will get in our way... After all, the stones are located here for a reason..."

"Do you think they were left here so that no one could find them?..."

"Most likely, or there was an outbreak of an uncontrolled clot of magic in these parts, which made the stones have magical powers... But we'll get them, and we'll have a great time... Although, the world around always impresses and delights with you, Lau..."

"With you, too, Bendy... I can't wait to see what those stones will look like..."

"Very soon we'll be convinced of their uncommonness, starlight, we are almost there..."

The devils noticed a floating blue glowing artifact near a small stump of a broken tree.

"So we found the first of the stones..." Bendy began. "How interesting and wonderful..."

"It's obviously magical..." said Lara.

"You're right, dear... I think I can take it..."

Bendy felt the warmth of the artifact. The demon put the stone in a box and placed it in his rucksack.

"Apparently, it was a Cyarok - the stone which gives the most energy at night... Soon we'll find the Phaodis, which gives its light throughout the day, but in smaller quantities..."

The beloved ones continued their way. They met red bushes with sharp thorns. Bendy gently pulled Lara to him and stood in her place, closer to the dangerous plants. The clouds were thickening, the sky turned a dark gray colour. The devils understood it was going to rain soon, so Bendy took out a black umbrella just in case. However, the bad weather bypassed the travelers, leaving behind only a few clouds.

After a while, the magicians faced something they couldn't be prepared for: the road of massive stones on which they were walking ended, and after they saw burning bright orange earth. It was possible to walk on solid slabs located far from each other. Bendy took Lara in his arms and ventured to walk such a dangerous path. Fortunately, everything went well, and the devils found themselves at the end of a terrible road, which gave way to the green soft grass with many bright flowers.

"If you want, I can carry you further, honey..."

"Aren't you tired, dear?..."

"Of course not, Larry, on the contrary, delighted by new adventure..."

"Me too... Then I don't mind being in your arms, it's cozy here..."

"Glad you're comfortable, sweetie... Look, the same orchids bloom here as in our garden..."

"So do red roses..."

"Your favorite flowers... And you like white lilies, though only pink ones are visible here so far..."

"Also pretty..."

"Completely agree with you... By the way, we'll reach our destination soon... I'm sure this stone will be just as impressive and wondrous..."

The devils soon discovered a magical mineral - it was lying on one of the flowers, sparkling and shimmering with green light in the sun. Bendy put it in a special pocket, and they continued on their way.

The next landscape was rather surprising: not a single plant on the black earth, which Bendy and Lara approached after visiting a beautiful meadow. The trees weren't blooming and had no leaves - darkness, silence enveloped the land. Only occasionally a strong wind blew, shaking the branches. Bendy put a warm jacket on Lara, and they didn't stop until they saw black boulders with some runic inscriptions. Bendy translated to Lara what was written: the drawn words pointed the ways in different directions. After walking along the path, the devils saw a bardur leading to a dark pedestal on which a red sparkling stone was shining. When Bendy touched it, he felt a small electrical current, and then put it in his rucksack. The imps soon came out of the gloomy place and saw a wonderful forest in front of them, the trees of which were bluish and lilac in hue.

The evening came, and Bendy set up a tent, where he provided warmth and comfort with the help of magic, then cooked dinner. The demon lit a bonfire on which the lovers fried marshmallows, discussing the incredible adventure.

"I think the most exciting place was the quiet calming forest, surrounded by marvelous flowers and other plants, where the green stone was located..." Bendy said. "Which one did you like better, Larry?..."

"Probably the blue stone..." Lara replied. "It radiated a very bright light..."

"You're right, berry, also fascinating... Although, everything we saw today was very memorable and impressive..."

"I agree... It's great..."

"The main thing is you like it here, princess... Hmm, I think I have some ideas for a new song..."

Bendy took a guitar out of his rucksack and started playing a new tune. The demon played the intro and asked, "What do you think, sunny?..."

"So wonderful... What will the song be about?..."

"About you, dear, and how delightful it is to travel together..."

The imp played a couple more chords and then quickly came up with words he immediately sang. The song was only in its original form, but it already sounded brilliant and splendid... The last lines with which Bendy ended his song were: "And now we're walking through the feelings of the brightest eternal side,

I want to be like this with you all the time..."

After hearing Lara's applause, the demon grinned kindly and said, "Thank you, sweetie, glad it was nice for you to listen..."

"I really liked it... Moreover, you performed this song only for the first time..."

"It's always so delightful to write songs about you, the words and melody seem to go by themselves, as they should..."

"Don't be modest, you compose songs greatly..."

"Thank you very much, Lau... You're also so wonderful and great at writing songs... If you want, I'll sing our favorite compositions for you..."

"Go ahead..."

"Great, then I'll start..."

Bendy performed a lot of songs that he and Lara loved to listen to. His strong melodious voice sounded so pure and soulful that it seemed he had sung those songs hundreds of times, although, of course, the demon very often performed melodies for his precious Lara.

It was dark in the forest. The light came only from the campfire, near which the sweethearts were sitting. Bendy put the guitar back in his rucksack and hugged Lara tightly, looking at her tenderly. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked down dreamily. He knew what she was thinking and decided not to distract her from her thoughts. The devils sat in silence and tranquility for a while, enjoying each other's company...

Night soon fell. The imps settled down in the tent, where Bendy covered Lara with a blanket, kissed her on the cheek and said, "Sweet dreams, dear... May we have the same exciting day tomorrow..."

"Good night, darling... I think we'll see a lot of miracles..."

"Of course, starlight, it will be great... Have a good rest..."

Lara fell asleep, and Bendy, watching her sleep, also fell asleep after a while...

The next morning the demon got up quite early: he cooked breakfast for Lara and returned to the tent, where he was watching her, immersed in her dreams, smiling slightly. A little later, the girl woke up, and the sweethearts came out of the tent, had breakfast. Then Bendy put all the things back into his rucksack, and the devils continued their journey under the bright warm sun...

A wonderful view opened up before the imps: small hills overgrown with soft yellow grass; small trees from which golden months hung; many birds were walking near huge bright red flowers; animals with two blue horns and with lush violet tails looked like unicorns, however, their face resembled a cat's. Soon Bendy and Lara discovered a yellow stone which hovered directly over the hill, leaving behind a light with sparkles.

"Wow, what a magnificent stone... Perhaps the most energy comes from it..."

"I think it's the most interesting of all we've seen..."

"You're right, tulip, also the brightest and most miraculous..."

Bendy put the stone in a box and shoved it in his rucksack.

"So, we have Cyarok, Faodis, Plumbaus and Ralevist... Now we've collected all of them, so we can go home!... What do you think about our trip, Lora?..."

"It was wonderful... How about you?..."

"I was also impressed and inspired... Although, I'm looking forward to how we'll return home through all those extraordinary places... Let's go, dear..."

The beloved ones passed the delightful landscapes they saw yesterday, approaching their garden and home. A couple of hours passed, and the devils reached their native lands, leisurely walking down the path. The imps went into Lara's room, where Bendy laid out all the things. He wanted ask his beloved what she would like to do, however, he noticed how the imp was lying on the bed fast asleep. The demon covered her with a blanket and watched her having beautiful dreams. Bendy looked at her tenderly, hugging her with one hand and stroking her head with the other. Suddenly Boris came into the room and said quite loudly, "You're back! Great, what kind of st..."

"Shh..." Bendy interrupted him. He immediately got up from his knees, took four boxes from the table and left the room together with Boris.

"Lara is sleeping..." he whispered. "She is tired after a long journey... We found all the stones..."

"What good fellows you are..." Boris answered just as quietly. "Thanks..."

"You're welcome... Tomorrow we'll distribute all the stones to the generators in our studio..."

"Agreed... I'll take a look at them for now... See you soon..."

Boris took the boxes and went to his room, while Bendy returned to Lara's room, looking at her beautiful face, wondering what she could have dreamed...

When evening came, Lara woke up and, seeing Bendy in front of her, smiled. He also smiled and, hugging her carefully, looking tenderly into her eyes, asked, "How did you sleep, Laura?... Have you had wonderful dreams?..."

"Of course, I have... Is dinner ready?..."

"I'll cook the dishes now, honey, you can go to the kitchen very soon..."

"Okay... I'll fix myself up for now..."

"You always look perfect, princess..."

Lara smiled, and Bendy, seeing her joyful expression, also smiled. He kissed her on the cheek, on the top of her head and went to cook dinner for the imp and the others. Soon everyone gathered in the kitchen and, having tasted delicious dishes, talked about interesting topics. Bendy and Lara told about their adventure, pleasantly surprising and delighting their friends. Everyone returned to the things they had started and had a great evening. Demons watered flowers on the windowsill, solved some sudoku. When they finished, the young man gently asked his devil, "Honey, do you want to go for a walk in the Amusement Park tomorrow?... Or, we could do quieter things..."

"I don't mind going... Despite our journey today, I'm almost not tired..."

"Wonderful, dear, so it's settled: we'll have an inspiring, splendid day... Although, it can't be any other way with you..."

"With you too, dear..."

"Thank you for everything, sweetheart... I love you very much, Lara..."

"I love you very much, too, Bendy..."

"With you life shines with bright colours, darling... Please remember..."

"And you remember that you radiate a special light around you, fluffy..."

"Thank you, berry... You are so dear to me that it is difficult to describe in words... I have a lot of sincere, deep feelings for you, Laurie, I'll always treasure you..."

Bendy hugged Lara carefully, and she hugged him too. The imps kissed each other on the lips and, smiling, continued to do their favorite things. When they finished, they talked for a long time on various amazing, impressive topics...

[andswarwrites]

Day 3

Growing up my parents moved every few years.  The first time we moved I was seven, and I was so upset about it that I told my Mom that I was going back to live in "my house".  Mom reminded me that strangers were living there now, and that wasn't as much of a deterrent to me as the fact that I would have to walk, and it was very far.  That first house I ever lived in was where I was born.  My mother gave birth to me in her bedroom.  I shared a room with my sister.  Dad took a picture of my mom and siblings all sitting on the floor of the living room with me, playing with a colorful activity toy they had just got for me.

I remember looking up at the book case looming over me, and fearing that it would fall over and topple on me.  I have no idea how old I was, but already a little bit of anxiety was creeping in.  I'd get up early enough to go and watch my father shave.  It was a quiet moment, everyone else was asleep, so I had him all to myself.  There was a window in the kitchen, so my mother could keep an eye on me while I played in our back yard.  I would pick fresh peas from the little garden, and open the pods to eat them.  I would also pick sorrel growing in the grass, and I'd play in the cedar hedge.  Not along the hedge, in the hedge.

When we moved we left a little development in a small town, where there were streets packed with neighbors and a nearby park, to a long country road with a long driveway to this stone house with dormers.  The property was lined with trees and the backyard had a pool.  My father had taught me to swim young; our whole family would get a membership to the public pool every year; you had to sew a little pass onto your bathing suit.  Anyway, what I'm getting at is having a pool made up for the fact that we had left my cherished home, and house number two became home too.

My dad built me a swing.  Since I was homeschooled, the education part of my day only took a few hours, and then I got to play outside until dinnertime, unless it was raining; then I could read indoors, or draw.  And every day I was allowed educational TV from PBS.  My favorites were Bill Nye and Where in Time Is Carmen Sandiego.  My daughter and husband and I were just discussing our favorite childhood shows.  I was telling them that Cyranose from Sesame Street stressed me out.  When my daughter was very little she would watch Pocoyo and Puffin Rock and Yo Gabba Gabba.

Alright, moving on.  I was between eleven and twelve when we moved to the north shore of Quebec.  For my parents, it was a bit like coming home, because they had met in Forestville and had lived in Sept Iles and Port Cartier in their early marriage.  We lived in Baie Comeau.  Again, the transition was hard for me.  We went from a huge back yard with a driveway long enough for me to ride my bike around on, to a semi detached with a big patio but a little patch of grass.  My mom softened the blow by letting me help her pick out paint colors and wallpaper to decorate not only the living space and her bedroom, but my room as well.

I chose a design of galloping horses on a border of wallpaper, and the color green.  There was another color but it was nondescript.  I really loved that green.  And I loved my dog.  We'd had several dogs.  We'd had a black dog named Belle, and a beagle named Wendy, and also a puppy Labrador named Skip.  My best friend called him Skippy Peanut Butter.  But I never connected with those dogs (I know, heresy!).  It was Rascal, our rottweiler, who stirred deep affection in me.  I'd play with him in the pokey back yard.  In fact one time, he was excitedly circling me and I lost track of where he was, so I turned and tripped over him.

Pain shot through my elbow and I rose, and danced around, clutching my arm.  Rascal danced around with me.  I went into the house and told my mom I had hurt myself.  Now, I had gotten distracted from the task my Mom had assigned me, which was to sweep the patio, so she told me to go back out there and finish the job.  I tried to do it with both hands, but my arm was pulsing, so I swept the whole space with one hand.  In a few hours my arm was aching, I was writhing, and my mom decided to take me to the hospital.  She thought it was going to be a waste of time, but turns out my elbow was broken.  Poor Mom, she felt pretty bad.

So we lived in Baie Comeau for two years.  We moved to the region of Quebec City, and lived in Lac Beauport.  That was a brief sojourn.  My parents bought a house that was more in the Montreal area, and we would commute; stay in Lac Beauport during the week, so I could attend school and Dad could work, and then go to the house on the weekend.  I don't think that lasted more than a few months, and then my Dad retired and we moved permanently.  Well, not permanently, after a few years they divided their property into two, sold the place we'd lived in, and they built a house, a beautiful open concept home, which Dad finished in pine on floors, walls and ceiling.

That was the final house I lived in with my mom and dad.  By the time they built the house, I was eighteen, and a good friend and I were figuring out that we really liked each other.  That is another story for another time.  I moved out at nineteen, and Mom and Dad lived happily for a while in the house they had built, but Mom's health had deteriorated since living in a polluted environment for two years, and she and Dad wanted to find a place where she would feel better.  I was pregnant when they decided to move to Newfoundland.  I was due in July but N- decided to join us in May (I'll be telling that story too), on the very day my parents were scheduled to leave the province.  They literally took their stuff to Newfoundland, turned around and returned to the hospital to be with me, S- and N-.

When N- got out of the hospital, we brought her to the house Mom and Dad had built.  That was her first home.  We only lived there for a few years.  Mom and Dad lived in Newfoundland for less than a year, and then they found a home in New Brunswick.  We visit them every summer, and this past year, we visited in the winter too.  I remember setting foot in their house and looking around, and realizing this was the first house I'd ever seen my parents have that I have never lived in.  It was pretty neat to see all the touches my mom made; the curtains she chose, the paintings I'd watched her collect all my life, hanging on the walls, how she had arranged the furniture.  My parents have always, my whole life, made houses into homes.

#camp nanowrimo #camp nano april 2023 #parents #childhood memories

[stanknotstark]

How did you get these?

We actually get a lot of those.

Some of the guys use them as paperweights.

#avengers #marvel #gif #my gifs #sorry the quality is so bad i dont have a good gif making source #i had this idea rattling in my head tho and had to get it out #even if it's shitty #i hope someone sees this and makes a better one of it #please tag me if you do!!! #death #endgame #avengers endgame #loki tv series reference #it broke my heart when casey mentioned all the stones so casually because #we have been hurt #tormented #made to sit and watch as our favorites gave their lives for these stones #and they use them as paperweights?! #god

[redrobin-detective]

The late Daniel Fenton

It was shaping up to be a beautiful if chilly December day and Casper High, as always, was bustling. It was 7:49 and class was about to start. The teacher watched the last few kids stumbling in at various levels of wakefulness. He already knew who would be the ones to rush in after the bell but that was alright. Life was too short to stress about being a few minutes late to class, especially in Amity Park of all places.

He looked up to see Madison, one of his shyer students walk in before making a beeline for his desk. She was biting her lip and nervously rubbing her hand down her skirt. “Hey,” she began quietly.

“Good morning. What’s up, Mads?” He asked casually. She looked upset, he could probably put on a video for the class if she needed to talk. They really needed a permanent counselor but the constant ghost attacks ran off most of them so he’d taken up the unofficial mantle. It felt good to help his students like that, make up for past wrongs.

“Are we um, expecting any new students?” She asked, her eyes darting over to the door she’d just come through. “Any transfers, exchange students or anything like that?”

“No,” the teacher frowned. “Amity isn’t the kind of place people transfer into. Why?”

“There’s a kid in the hallway,” she mumbled. “I don’t recognize him, he’s got a backpack and everything but he’s... I don’t know he doesn’t feel right.”

“Oh you’re talking about that weird dark haired kid,” Kyle said as he entered and sat down with a slouch. But even the class slacker looked unusually tense. “Dude’s creepy, can’t put my finger on why but he definitely doesn’t belong.”

“Oh,” was all the teacher had to say. Suddenly he realized how cold the classroom had become, the uncomfortable feeling that was pressing ever so slightly down on them. “I suppose it makes sense, the ghosts have been quiet lately with the Truce and all. He probably got bored.”

“Sir?” Madison said.

“Shannon,” he said instead, looking over at the frizzy haired girl hunched over her sketchbook furiously at work. “Would you do me a favor and move to the vacant seat in the second row? Just for today.”

“What? Why?” the girl whined even as she gathered up her various arts supplies and got ready to move.

“That’s Mr. Fenton’s seat,” he said taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes in preparation for what he was about to see. Danny would come here, of course he would. This was Lancer’s old classroom and Danny had him for first period English Lit. He and Dash both did.

“Mr. Baxter? What’s going on, is it a ghost?” Malik asked from the back row while Shannon shuffled to her new temporary seat.

“Yes but you don’t need to be scared,” he said softly, evenly. “He won’t hurt you.” The bell rang but Dash didn’t start the lesson. Instead, he waited. Danny had never been on time to class the entire time Dash had known him, of course death wouldn’t change that.

“Sorry, I’m late Mr. Lancer,” Dash gripped his desk so he didn’t jump when Danny Fenton simply appeared in front of his desk instead of walking through the door like any other student. “My folks couldn’t drive me, they’re still working on their stupid ghost portal.” A quick glance over at this class showed varying levels of fear, shock and curiosity but they were Amity kids through and through. The cold, powerful energy radiating off Fenton told them it was best to play along with whatever the ghost wanted.

“Perfectly alright Mr. Fenton,” Dash said softly, searching the 14 year old’s perpetually young face. He hadn’t changed a bit since Dash last saw him their second week of freshman year. It seemed unreal seeing how the years had taken their toll on Casper’s favorite son, Dash Baxter. God had they really been that young once? “Take a seat and we’ll get started.”

Danny shrugged and walked over to the seat Shannon had just vacated. He sat just the same, one leg stretched out and the other propped up against the leg of the desk. As soon as he took off the backpack and put it around the chair, it disappeared. He didn’t say anything else, just sat as stared at Dash with piercing blue eyes like he could see right through him.

“We had been talking about the lead up to the Civil War but let’s table that for today,” Dash said, proud his voice only wavered a little. He knew other people had seen Fenton around town. Lina saw him standing outside the Nasty Burger maybe five or so years ago. Dale, who used to live near Fenton Works swore he sometimes saw someone moving through the windows of the long abandoned house. He’d always secretly dreaded the thought of seeing Danny Fenton again, afraid he’d finally get was coming to him.

“Instead, we’re going to talk about local history,” he continued, not daring to take his eyes off the undead teen. Every other living student was tense, afraid. He wished he could assure them that the ghost wouldn’t lay a hand on them. In the event Fenton decided to ditch the hero schtick, it would be Dash and Dash alone he’d come after. “Amity Park has long had rumors of being haunted dating all the way back to the 1600s. It wasn’t until the last century that scientists determined that Amity Park is located on top of a thin spot between our world and the ghost realm. Natural portals form here all the time allowing spirits to pass through.”

No one spoke and barely anyone breathed except for Danny would wasn’t breathing at all. He just sat and stared at Dash with steady, unblinking eyes.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton were the scientists who discovered the weak point in reality in Amity. They devoted their entire life to the study of ghosts and made remarkable advancements in our knowledge of ectobiology and culture, the first being,” he paused as Danny cocked his head in confusion, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Dash. “The first being their manmade portal to the ghost zone. The portal remained active for almost two decades for research purposes but was shut down following their deaths.”

“You’re not Mr. Lancer,” Danny said suddenly, his eyes shifting from baby blue to an ectoplasmic green. Marty, who was sitting to the left of Danny, swallowed a squeak of fear and squeezed his eyes shut.

“No,” Dash sighed, “Lancer died almost thirty years ago now. Best teacher I ever had, he gave me his blessing when he passed on the job to me.”

“I,” the ghost ran his hand through his hair which was starting to lose its color. Seeing Fenton looking so scared and confused made him ache. It reminded him of old times. Dash had spent most of his life making sure he helped hurt kids if only to make up for the one he’d never been able to make it up to. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay, Danny,” he soothed. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“The portal, it wasn’t working at first,” Danny justified, his aura glowing a little more. “Sam and Tuck, they were curious. They wanted to look but I told them it wasn’t allowed, Sam, Sam she dared me to go in. I put on the hazmat suit and went inside and found the on button inside. I accidentally hit it and-” he paused midsentence and looked down at his hands. They weren’t pale flesh anymore but covered in white gloves. The black was completely bleached from his hair. A few of the students gasped as they saw the strange would be student melt into Phantom, the ghostly hero who’d been protecting their town since their parents were young. “I died.”

So much time had gone by. People were born and people were buried and the truth became distorted until it was just a legend passed jokingly around cafeteria lunch tables. Amity’s youth had forgotten their town’s history until it was sitting in a desk, trying once more to be one of them.

“You did,” Dash said sadly. He remembered hearing the news of Fenton's death. An assembly had been called the morning after the accident. Lancer had cried at the podium, Manson and Foley hadn’t returned to school for a week and had never been the same again. Dash hadn’t known what to think at the time, only that the kid he’d beat up for the crime of being different would never show up to school again. Or so he’d thought. “It was a tragedy, you were mourned by a lot of people.”

“I know you, don’t I?” Danny said quietly before he sat up straighter. “Dash?”

“In the flesh,” Dash grinned shakily.

“But you’re so old,” Danny said, once more distressed. “Your hair is grey and there’s wrinkles on your face and-and you’re a teacher now?” The last line was said with incredulity, his eyes flaring again. “You used to push me down the stone steps of the school and shove me into my locker and call me names.”

“Yeah, I did,” he sighed, feeling every one of his years. He was pushing 70 but he didn’t think he’d ever stop feeling like a stupid 14 year old who took out his frustrations on the ones who didn’t deserve it. “But you were the last; I never touched another kid again. I’m married now, four kids. I’m vice principal now, teach History and coach the school’s football team. It’s,” his voice caught again, still unable to process how young and stupid Fenton looked sitting there like no time had passed at all. It made Dash feel like all his accomplishments and attempts to be better would never amount to anything so long as his last victim roamed the earth unable to find peace. “It doesn’t fix what I did back then but I make damn sure that there won’t be any bullying at Casper so long as I’m here.”

“Huh,” Danny said, slouching once more in his seat but it looked less like his earlier teenage laziness and more weary. He and Dash were the same age after all, just because only one of them got old doesn’t mean time didn’t still affect them. “You did change, a lot of things did.” Danny looked down at the desk, “how long has it been?”

“Almost 50 years,” Dash sighed. “My wife wants me to retire but I guess I always find more things to do.” He paused then decided it was now or never. “I’m sorry Danny, for hurting you back then. I wish I'd gotten to know you better.”

For just a moment, Danny was perfectly clear. Even half floating out of his chair and looking like the local celebrity, his eyes were so painfully human. A boy killed before he ever got a chance to get started. Who’s will to protect was so strong it lasted half a century. It haunted him late at night to think of the glory and power of Phantom overshadowing just how incredible Danny Fenton had been. Not that anyone had seen it at the time. Soon there wouldn’t be anyone left to remember that quiet, kind teenager and then Danny Fenton really would be dead. Kill him just as thoroughly as that portal had.

The moment was broken by a breath of cold leaking out of the ghost’s lips and, just like that, his highschool classmate was gone and Phantom was left in his stead. He looked curiously around the classroom as if he didn’t know how he’d gotten there.

“There’s a ghost, stay here and don’t leave unless the fighting gets too close. I’ll get it though, don’t worry. No kids are dying today.” Maybe it was Dash’s imagination but he thought he saw Phantom’s eyes linger on him for an extra moment, trying to place where he knew the teacher from. Dash just smiled.

“Our lives are in your hands. Good luck, Phantom,” the ghost teen saluted before fading away entirely. Dash let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, suddenly exhausted but also lighter at the same time. It wasn’t every day you got to look your mistakes in the face and apologize. “Shannon, you can move back now.”

“No, I’m okay here,” Shannon said as she flipped to a new page in her sketchbook and looked intently at the spot where Fenton had once sat. “It’s like you said, that’s Danny’s seat.”

“I had no idea, Phantom’s been around for like, ever,” Freddie mumbled, pushing up his glasses. “But he used to be just like us.” And still was, Dash thought sadly. Danny would never grow old, never go to space like he’d always dreamed or marry Manson like he’d probably intended to. He was stuck, in more ways than one for who knows how long.

“Yes, that’s why it’s important to know your history. The Civil War and my other lessons are important but we can’t forget these smaller, more intimate histories. If we lose these lessons to time then we risk repeating the same mistakes over again.” He looked his students in the eyes, holding their attention.

“So we’ll continue today with the local history. Before he was ghost butt kicking superhero, Phantom was Danny Fenton, son of the local ghost hunters and a bit of an outcast in town. The Daniel Fenton Foundation was founded about a year after his death and was-”

#danny phantom #dead danny au #if bitch fartman won't redeem dash then I guess it up to me #god can you imagine growing up and growing old only to look at your past victim in the eye and see nothing has changed for him? #i could go on and on about what other characters got up to #but this is about the tragedy of the loss of Danny Fenton #not only his life but his memory #time moves on and Fenton got lost in the mix #once Dash's generation dies then Fenton will just be a cautionary tale #a ghost story #No one will remember that their hero was one long before he got his powers #god Im fuckign sad now #eat up and enjoy your angst

[mysticalrambling]

Hi this is mine request, y/n and chris (evans) are married and the have 2 kids, Emma and Jason, and y/n takes Emma to get there nails and hair done they have a girls day , while the boys a a boys day at home, and when y/n and Emma comes home, the boys have cooked dinner for the girls and later that night the have a family movie night, in matching pyjama's

A/N: I loved the plot line and I was happy to write about it. This is what I came up with and I might have added a few more things to the plot line. I love dad Chris Evans and I would love to write more about him. Hope you guys like it and please tell me what you think about it.

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Family Time (C.E)

Chris Evans Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master list)

Warnings: None. Fluff all the way.

Summary: dad! Chris Evans x reader. Chris and the reader spends the whole day with their family. They enjoy the free day with their children and enjoy every moment of it.

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Having two kids was a bittersweet experience for the two of you as they were close in age so they fought a lot. It could be over the simplest of things such as who will eat in which bowl or who will cuddle with daddy at night. Emma and Jason loved each other to death but Jason being the elder was sometimes a little too stubborn. The one thing that always came as a shock to Chris’s family was that your son was a total daddy’s boy and vice versa for your daughter. Your family was always a little different from the others and you loved it.

“Mommy, Jacey pulled on my hair and threw my dollies to the ground.” Fat tears poured down her baby blue eyes as she jumped on your shared bed, effectively waking you both up. Chris just groaned and buried his head in the soft pillows and hands placed on his ears. You didn’t blame him, you both were up pretty late last night because Jason had a severe stomach ache. But he was okay now, considering he was busy annoying his younger sister.

“I will scold him but can you lie down with daddy now so I could freshen up and make you guys breakfast.”

“But I want to stay with you-,” she began to protest and you quickly silenced her by promising a girls only day.

“Besides, you don’t want to cuddle with daddy?” Chris growled playfully and started tickling your three and a half year old daughter. Taking this as your cue to leave, you went to the washroom. Meanwhile, Jason also joined the two of them in bed and lazed around for the whole morning, You prepared pancakes and scrambled eggs that was your family’s favorite breakfast and put out some dog food for Dodger.

“I want dad to feed me today.” Your five year old son declared when Emma sat on Chris’s lap to be pampered by him.

You sensed a fight heading towards the dining room and you quickly tried to diffuse the situation. “You are going to spend the whole day with your father today so let him feed Emma, please.” He huffed out a fine and you cut his pancakes in to little pieces.

“I am thinking of taking James to do some grocery shopping and then spend the whole day at home.” Chris was free today because his shooting does not start until Monday and he wanted to spend as much time possible with his family before he gets busy. He always hated being apart from you guys and would feel bad if he missed out an important step in his children’s life because of his career. You guys were truly blessed to have him in your life.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I will get them both ready for the day and then we can all get on with our day.” Pecking him on the lips, you took the kids to your room and Chris went to clean the dishes.

“Mommy, I don’t want to sit in the booster seat. I want to sit with you.”

“No, baby, it is not safe.” She was hell bent on her request today and you just ran out of patience. Snapping at her, you were instantly filled with guilt because tears pooled in her eyes.

“Darling, I am sorry. Babe, can you drop Emma and I at the parlor before going to the supermarket?”

“Sure. Just let me get my keys.” Sitting in the middle of two booster seats was highly uncomfortable but you would do it for your children. The whole car ride was filled with both the kids babbling about their school and day care respectively. Your husband silently made eye contact with you from the rearview mirror and you knew he was thanking you. “When should I pick you both up?”

“I’ll text you half an hour earlier.” Getting Emma out of her seat, you walked towards your favorite salon. You already knew that Emma wanted a mixture of blue and pink nail polish because colors are gender neutral. Chris always made sure that your kids never follow the obscene rules set by the society.

“We are going to have so much fun, mommy.” The little girl skipped towards the reception and stood on her tip toes to see you make the reservation.

“Baby, do you want to get a haircut as well?”

“Are you getting one?”

“Yes.”

“Then I want one as well.” The receptionist smiled at your daughter’s excitement and complimented her saying that she looked just like Chris. Emma puffed out her cheeks and mumbled, “I look like my mommy.”

“Sorry. You are a carbon copy of your mother. Now, I have you two stationed right next to each other and you have manicure first.”

On the other side, Chris sat his little boy in the trolley and marveled at how big he was slowly getting. He had decided to properly pamper his family today and an Italian dinner was just a start. One of the things that you always craved in both your pregnancies was his pasta pomodoro and he sometimes had to make it at three in the morning to satisfy your cravings.

“Daddy, can I get some cookies?”

“Yes, but only one because we don’t want you to have stomach ache.” Chris quickly finished the grocery shopping and then went in to Cartier. Pampering his girls was his top most priority today so he had already ordered a bracelet for you with all of the family’s birth stones engraved in it, He also ordered the same exact bracelet for his baby girl just in a smaller size. Emma always wanted the same exact things as her mother and Chris always tried to fulfill her wish.

“Can we get them some pretty flowers, as well?” Quickly, he wiped all the cookie crumbles from Jason’s face and agreed with him. They decided on getting them some pink roses because you both loved them.

The moment they arrived at the house, they quickly got to cooking but Chris made sure that he went no way near the stove. He was given the task to open up the spaghetti packet and picking out the red carrots.

Meanwhile, you both got your nails done with you opting for a bright yellow colour. Chris’s favorite colour. You got your hair cut in square layers while Emma just got a nice trim for her dirty blonde hair. Both the kids had inherited Chris’s hair and eyes but the nose and the smile was all you. During the whole time, you and your daughter talked about anything and everything. She talked about the cute boy in her daycare and how she wanted to be his friend but she got a whole circus running around in her tummy.You just chuckled and thought to not tell Chris because he will freak out and bully that poor boy.

After about two hours, Chris and James came to pick you both up and the whole way back, both the kids kept bickering with each other. The moment you opened the front door to your house, your favorite aroma hit you and a blissful sigh escaped your lips. “Have I told you this new look suits you a lot?” Your husband took you in a backside hug while both your munchkins ran towards the dining room.

“Just like a thousand times from the moment you picked us up. Is this dinner a hint?”

“Well, it’s true and maybe it is.” You kissed him slowly on the lips because the prospect of another kid was exciting to say the least.

“Daddy, I want the pasta!” Emma screamed from across the hallway and you both made your way towards them. The dining was all set and the kids were already sitting at their assigned places with their plastic forks in hand. Chris quickly served the food and you all got to eating. Dodger was sitting by your chair and happily munching on his food. Making silent eye contact with your husband, you guys silently agreed on having another kid. You were thrilled.

They all went to their rooms and came out in their matching Captain America pjs that Chris bought from Los Angeles the last time he was there for shooting. He always loved the idea of twinning with his famiily.

“We have a little surprise for you, don’t we, Jason?” The boy ran towards the living room and you all followed suit. Chris gave you a bouquet with a red long box and Jason did the same but with a smaller size to his baby sister.

The moment you saw the content in the jewelry box, tears welled up in your eyes. This was such a thoughtful gift and there was an empty place in the bracelet for a new gemstone. “You thought of everything, didn’t you?”

“I am giving you a lot of hints, here.”

“You don’t have to convince me, baby. I was thinking about this as well.”

“Then, it’s done. Baby number three of our family.”

“Thank you, daddy,” Emma jumped on Chris from the back and he immediately caught her in his arms.

“No problem, baby. Which movie do you guys want to watch?” He asked but he already knew the answer.

“Lion King!” There were a lot of things that your kids didn’t agree with but this was an exception. They were both die hard fans of Lion King.

“Aw, I thought we will watch Captain America today. But that’s okay, I guess.” He pretended to be hurt by their answer but the kids took it seriously.

“No, daddy. We love Captain America and we can watch it today.” Little hands cupped his light stubbled cheeks and Chris just smiled at his two babies. He was so lucky to have them and he could not wait for a third one.

“It’s okay, bubs. I was just kidding, We can watch it tomorrow. Today is Lion King’s day.” They all got together under the blanket and kept all the snacks on their laps. This was what Chris wanted the whole day; his whole family under his arms, happy.

“I love you.” He whispered to you while you cleaned off Emma’s sticky fingers and the drool on Jason’s chin.

“I love you, too.” You spent the whole night on that couch and somewhere in between the movie, Dodger came up and cuddled to your side. Your life was blissful and it was all because of Chris, the love of your life.

Hope you guys liked it!!

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A/N: This is just some family dribble that I wrote related to Chris Evans. I just love the idea of dad Chris. Send me some ideas related to Chris as a family man and I will be happy to write about it. Tell me if you wanted to be in the taglist.

Tag list: @maximeevansblog, @justile 

Like, comment and reblog.

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#rachelleblodgettwrites #my writing #wattpad writer #creative writing #writing community #tumblr writing #chris evans #dad chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fluff #chris evans fic #chris evans x wife!reader #fan fiction #fluff #family #send me asks #request #answer #steve rogers #the avengers #captain america #movies #tv shows #short stories #my imagination

[narutogwriting]

hii, could you do a naruto x reader fic the day/evening before naruto becomes hokage n he and the reader are discussing their future , if they want kids, if they will get married and reminiscing about the past ( maybe about how they met or significant moments ) and he confides in her that maybe he’s a lil nervous n it’s just cavity inducing fluff ,,, sorry if that was a little long but thank you! <3

Hey did you take this prompt straight out of my heart?<3 This may need a part 2...

Long Live

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: fluff

Length: 2.9k+

Inspired by “Long Live” by Taylor Swift because that song always makes me think of Naruto 🥺

Why is he so pretty

His whole life had led up to this. He’d spent years alone and isolated and hurting. Years being left in the background, unseen, forgotten. All Naruto had ever wanted in life was to gain the acknowledgment of his village.

And now he had it.

In just a few hours, by this time tomorrow, Naruto would officially become Hokage. Everything he’d ever worked for was finally coming to fruition.

Naruto was sitting on the Hokage heads, the same stones that he’d spent years vandalizing as a child, just wanting someone to notice him. Specifically, he was sitting on the formation of his father’s head, a small smile on his face. He’d always said that he was going to become better than the fourth hokage… He wasn’t sure if he could ever surpass his dad. But at the very least, he would do his best to make him proud.

The Sun was beginning to set over the leaf village, casting a brilliant orange glow over the town he loved so much. It was a powerful, flawed village that had done a fantastic amount of good and created imaginable pain. It’d taken Naruto years to understand it, that nothing was black and white, that things can be good and bad, and that you can love something, but still want to change and improve it.

The Leaf Village had simultaneously been a place that had broken him and the place where he had become healed. Now that Naruto was a little older, a little wiser, he understood that things had to change, and that’s what Naruto would do.

He would become the change, lead the village into a new era. One of healing and restoration. Not only would Konoha change its way, Naruto was going to do his damndest to right all of its wrongs.

Finally, just before dark, Naruto got up and decided to head back home. He couldn’t imagine that he would be getting much sleep tonight; he was too excited, too nervous. Of course he’d always believed that he would become Hokage, but now that it was happening… It was almost too much for him to handle.

He expected you to maybe already be in bed by the time he got home. It wasn’t super late, but you were just getting back from a mission that day, so he was sure you’d be exhausted.

He opened the front door slowly, quietly, not wanting to wake you.

He was surprised to find you not only awake, but waiting for him with a big smile. You looked so beautiful, he thought, in the tight red dress you were wearing. The lights were dim, the living room and kitchen only lit by candle light.

Blinking in confusion, Naruto looked at you as you came to give him a big hug. “Hi, I missed you…” Naruto said, wrapping his strong arms around you, pulling you into him. He placed a kiss on your head, getting a whiff of his favorite perfume that you had.

Just over your head, he could see the table set with a pretty red table cloth, flowers, romantic candles, and the unmistakable aroma of your homemade ramen.

“I missed you so much,” You told him, pulling away just enough to press up on your tiptoes and give him a kiss. “I’ve been waiting for you. Were you at Hokage Rock?” You questioned. You knew him way too well.

He gave you a sheepish grin. “I was,” He told you. “Just taking it all in, ya know? Before…” He trailed off. He couldn’t even speak the words; it would make it all too real and then he was sure he’d implode.

Instead, he nodded to the set up in the kitchen before pulling away from the hug. He took your hand, pulling back so he could check you out properly, giving you a little twirl as you giggled. “What’s the occasion?” He asked you, causing you to stare up at him with a dumbfounded expression.

“What do you think, dummy!?” You asked him, playfully smacking his arm and making him laugh.

“I thought we were gonna celebrate tomorrow night?”

You shook your head, exasperated. “Yes, but that’s with our friends, Naruto. “Tonight, I wanted to celebrate, just you and me.” You explained to him, smiling up at him fondly. You reached up to touch his cheek gently. “I’m just so proud of you, you know? I wanted to do something special. I always knew you could do it.”

Naruto eyes began to tear up instantly as he grinned happily. He ran the back of his hand across his eyes. “Geez, you really know how to make a guy all choked up…”

You giggled. You were well accustomed to Naruto’s happy tears by this point. It never failed to make your heart well up, knowing that you could fill Naruto with such joy that he would cry tears of happiness.

His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you to him as he pressed his lips against yours softly. “I love you so much, you know? Believe it!”

“I do believe it,” You teased, kissing him one more time before taking his hand. “Cmon, before your food gets cold.” You told him, pulling him to the kitchen. “I made your favorite.”

The two of you made small talk while you ate your food. He asked about your mission, and you gave him the exciting details. He slurpped down the ramen hungrily; somehow you made it just as good as Ichiraku ramen, maybe even better. It was just one of the many things he loved about you.

When the two of you finished eating, you cleared the table, leaving the dishes in the sink.

“Cmon,” you said, leading Naruto to the living room.

You had more candles set up on the side tables, and in the middle of the floor, a blanket with lots of pillows for the two of you to lounge on, chocolate covered strawberries, two glasses of wine, and a present just for Naruto.

“How did I get so lucky?” Naruto asked quietly, staring down at you with love filled eyes. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, dipping his head down to place light, open mouth kisses against your neck. You tilted your head slightly, placing your hands over his arms.

“Sweet, thoughtful, a good cook.. Not to mention so gorgeous.” His hands began to trail over your body, starting at your waist and slipping slowly down your hips and thighs before moving back up.

You felt your stomach clenching in desire, always so responsive to his touch.

“Naruto,” you moaned softly. It took all of your willpower to pull away from him. “I have a nice night planned; stop trying to seduce me!” You scolded.

Naruto just gave you a cheeky smile. “I can’t help myself. Look at you…” He muttered.

You bit your lip, blushing as he followed you to sit down on the blanket. Naruto pulled you between his legs to rest your back against his chest as he peppered your cheeks with kisses, making you giggle and squirm in his arms.

Picking up a chocolate strawberry, you placed it in front of his lips. He took the fruit in his mouth, the juices spilling over his lips before you pulled you in for another sweet kiss.

It would have been easy to let that become the rest of your night with Naruto, getting lost in his arms, letting his lips trace over every part of your body, spending the night in ecstacy. And you wanted that. You really wanted that.

But tomorrow was going to be the best day of Naruto’s life. Honestly, it was probably going to be the best day of yours, too. You were giddy with pride and adoration; you could only imagine the way you would feel tomorrow, watching Naruto stand in front of the whole village, all eyes on him as that hokage cloak was finally, finally*, placed over his shoulders. The way the people were going to scream his name, look at him with reverence and admiration. It made you start to tear up just thinking about it. Naruto was going to be hokage. His life long dream would be his reality. You always knew it would be. You couldn’t think of anyone more deserving to become the leader of the village.

“I got you something,” you told him, your head a little dizzy with the champagne you two had been drinking in between your kisses and giggles. You were so in love with this man.

“I thought I was going to unwrap you,” Naruto flirted, but you batted his hands away, pushing to your feet. You grabbed the present bag, specially chosen for the little foxes that littered the wrapping.

Walking back over, you sat cross legged in front of him, holding the bag in your lap.

“Naruto,” you said, giving him a silly smile. “Ever since the day I first met you, I’ve been in awe of you.” You told him. It was hard not to blush at the way that Naruto was gazing at you, those beautiful blue eyes glistening and intense. “From the way you carried yourself, to how hard you worked, to the way you changed people. Your heart is bigger than anyone I know. I wish so much that I would have met you sooner, so I could have been there for you, so you never would have had to be alone…”

You wiped at your eyes. The more you spoke, the wetter they became. “Whenever you tell me about the things you experienced when you were little, the way you grew up… It breaks my heart. I never want for you to feel sad or alone or abandoned like that… Never.” Scooting closer to him, you took his hands.

“I wish I would have known the little boy you were before you became the ninja I love. I wish I could hug him and tell him it’s all going to be okay… Could you imagine if he could see you now?” You’re smiling and crying and Naruto is smiling and crying and you’re both such an emotional mess. Everything he’d gone through, all the pain he experienced, he’d do it all again if it meant he could be here.

Naruto kissed your knuckles as you worked to compose yourself. You never knew it was possible to feel so deeply before Naruto. He’d taught you to love the way he did, and you couldn’t thank him enough for that.

“It’s been the best thing of my life, watching you take on the world.” You told Naruto in earnest. “The greatest honor. I just… I love you so much, and I want you to know how proud I am of you… And I never want you to forget how far you’ve come so… here.”

You passed him the present, and he took it with shaking hands. How? How was this his life? How had he gone from being four years old, wandering the streets of Konoha without a friend in the world to becoming the leader of the village, with the most beautiful, caring, magnificent woman he could have imagined by his side?

He opened the gift slowly, so contrary to the way he may normally rip into a present with excitement and vigor. This, right now, this entire night, this moment. He wanted to savor it, remember it forever. He wished it never had to end.

Eventually, he pulled the gift from the bag slowly, he’s mouth dropping in awe at what it was.

It was his goggles, the one he used to wear on his forehead to pretend he was a ninja before he got his headband, framed.

In your pretty little script, you’d written:

Long live the mountains you moved,

I’ve had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.

Long live the look on your face,

And bring on all the pretenders.

One day, you will be remembered.

xoxo

Naruto was speechless; the gesture was so thoughtful it blew his mind. You believed in him. You really did. He thought about what you said, wished he could go back in time and tell himself that is was all going to be worth it. That one day, he’d never be alone, never feel that pain again. He would be happy beyond his wildest dreams. “This is… This is…” He looked up at you through blurry eyes. “I don’t know what to say… I thought I lost these.” He told you.

“I found them when we moved,” you explained to Naruto. “You hadn’t mentioned them, so I decided to save them to frame. For this moment.”

Naruto stared down at the goggles in his hands. “This is the best gift ever… Really. You don’t know how much this means to me. I’m going to put it in my office, look at it everyday…” His gaze trailed up to meet yours. “Until we have our first kid. Then I’m gonna give it to them.”

Your heart began to flutter, your lips trembling. “O-our first kid?” Naruto nodded, grinning at you.

“I think it’ll be a boy. And he can wear them just like I did, until he graduates the academy. He’ll make it the first time, unlike me. And even if he doesn’t, it’ll be okay. I’ll practice with him until he’s confident and strong enough to pass.”

Placing the frame aside, he pulled you to him, lifting you so you were straddling his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist as he rested his face in the crook of your neck, breathing you in as he quivered just barely.

“What about after that?” You asked Naruto, wrapping your arms around his neck and threading your fingers through his hair. “I want three boys, all mini yous. The older two will be crazy like you, loud and hyper and determined…”

“And the third will be like you,” Naruto finished. “He’ll be kind, gentle but fierce. And a kick ass ninja. And they’ll all get the goggles, so we have to space them out just enough. It’ll be a tradition!” You could see by the excitement in his eyes that he meant it. The two of you had talked about a future together before, of course. But not like this. This felt different. It was there now, just ahead of the two of you.

“We could start now…” Naruto teased, his hands once again trailing over your body as he grinded himself against you.

Feigning shocked, you gasped. “And have a child out of wedlock? How scandalous, Hokage-sama…” You joked, as if you could care less about doing things “traditionally.” You didn’t need traditional. It was you and Naruto forever; there was no doubt in your mind about it.

“Of course! Our first little guy is gonna be our ring bearer.” Naruto told you as if it was obvious. “Maybe even help me when I finally put the ring on your finger…” Naruto took your hand, lacing your fingers together as he examined the ring finger. “Gonna get you the biggest rock in the village. You’re gonna need sunglasses when you look at it, it’ll be so bright.”

He was ridiculous, this man you loved so much. “You know I don’t need that. Only you.”

Naruto smiled. “I know.”

You loved this, talking about your future. It was unfolding before you so vividly. “Tell me more,” you insisted, still playing with his hair. “How are you going to propose?”

Naruto laughed, shaking his head. “Nice try,” He teased. “That’s a surprise. But if you really want, I’ll tell you about our wedding…”

You, of course, nodded in earnest. “Tell me,” You practically begged, making him laugh and kiss you.

“It’s gonna be the biggest party of the year. Everyone’s gonna be there. We’ll pull out all the stops… Kakashi can officiate. Our little guy will carry the rings down the aisle… I’m gonna say vows that will make you cry…” You laughed, shaking your head.

“MY vows will make YOU cry,” you countered, and he just shushed you because he knew you were right.

“Anyways,” he laughed. “After the ceremony, we’ll have a huge reception. Music, food, dancing, games. Ninja games, and I’m gonna win them all, obviously, because I’m the hokage…” He grinned at you. “Everyone’s gonna be having the best time… But, when it’s in the full swing of things, everyone’s drunk and distracted, I’m gonna pull you away…”

To emphasize his point, he pulled you closer into him. A hand gripped in your hair as he pulled you into a deep kiss. “Cause I’m so in love. And somehow, that night, I’m gonna find even more* love for you, even though I can’t imagine my heart being able to handle all that…” He murmured against your lips.

“I’m gonna pull you away to have you all to myself. To admire you. To kiss you. To make love to you. It’s gonna be official. You’ll be all mine forever…”

And honestly? When Naruto said forever, it didn’t sound too bad. It sounded like an adventure, a never ending story. It would be a wild ride you never wanted to get off of.

Tomorrow, Naruto would become Hokage. He would achieve his dreams, and you would be right there by his side for it all.

But right now, there was just the two of you. Together, in love. Supporting each other through it all.

That much would never change.

#naruto #naruto uzumaki #naruto fan fiction #naruto uzumaki fanfiction #naruto one shot #naruto uzumaki oneshot #naruto x reader #naruto uzumaki x reader #naruto uzumaki hc #naruto hc #naruto head canon #naruto uzumaki headcanon #naruto headcanon #naruto headcanons #naruto uzumaki headcanons #naruto imagine #naruto uzumaki imagine #naruto imagines #naruto uzumaki imagines #naruto ff #naruto uzumaki ff

[evermoreholland]

Paper Rings | Tom Holland

summary ❥ it’s your anniversary and you propose to tom with a song.

warnings ❥ fluff

word count ❥ 2,152

a/n ❥ you can listen to paper rings by taylor swift while reading this because this is obviously what it’s based off of lol. also, this was edited by my good friend @tefilovesreading! 

Today is your second anniversary with your boyfriend, Tom. The past two years have been the best of your life by far. You have had your fair share of relationships, but Tom took you by surprise in his love for you. You were a singer and it was difficult for you to pursue relationships, but Tom understood you because he has gone through similar. You would often write songs about your experiences in relationships. You have been writing a song for Tom for a while now and you thought that today would be a perfect day to show him.

Tom knows that he wants to marry you. He can’t imagine a life without you in it. He has been thinking of how he was going to go about a proposal for months now and he realized that your second anniversary would be the perfect time to confess his never-ending love for you and his commitment to be yours forever.

Tom picked out a ring for you many months before today, without your knowledge. The two of you had talked about marriage before, so a proposal wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. Tom called your mother, sisters, and even got his own mother’s opinion about an engagement ring for you. He finally found the perfect ring to propose with.

Tom made dinner reservations at your favorite restaurant tonight. He planned to spoil you the entire day, making sure that you knew that you were his queen.

Tom rises early. He lifts the blankets off of himself and steps out of bed. He tucks you back under the cover gently, not making a sound. He tiptoes to the kitchen to make you a cup of your favorite tea. He fills the kettle with water and then places it on the stove. He turns to the refrigerator to take out some of your favorite fresh fruits as a part of breakfast. He prepares toast as well and then he sets it all up on a tray to bring to your shared bedroom. He walks to the room and finds you still sleeping peacefully. He places the tray on the bedside table beside you and then leans to kiss your forehead. You were a light sleeper so the action woke you up almost instantly. Your eyes open and you see your boyfriend preparing something besides the bed.

“Morning,” you whisper. You toss and turn until you eventually sit up. “What are you up to?”

“Happy anniversary, my love,” Tom says and sits on the foot of the bed. “I made you breakfast.”

“Thank you, love. Happy anniversary.” Tom hands you your mug of tea and you take a sip. This was exactly what you need to start your day, which a warm cuppa. “This is probably the best cuppa I’ve ever had.”

Tom giggles at your compliment and he blushes. You just have that charming effect on him. “Well you are my best girl, aren’t you?”

You smile at your lovely boyfriend. “I guess I am.”

You and Tom eat the rest of your breakfast in bed together. Tom insists on feeding you to be romantic and you hesitantly accept. After, you put on a sundress that Tom purchased for you for today; a pink flowy sundress with strawberries on it. You match it with a pair of cream color wedges.

“You look beautiful, Y/N,” Tom compliments when he sees you walk out of the bedroom into the living room where he was sitting on the sofa waiting for you. He’s wearing navy slacks with a light blue short-sleeve button-down shirt. His hair is gelled back, which you hated because you couldn’t run your fingers in his beautiful chestnut-colored locks. “Absolutely stunning.”

“You look gorgeous too.” You walk towards your boyfriend and take a seat beside him on the sofa. You take his hand in yours and you can feel how sweaty his hand was, but you decide not to comment on it. To be honest, you didn’t think much of it anyway. “What are our plans for the day? I have something for you, but I want to give it to you later.”

You wrote Tom a song in an attempt to propose to him, and you were hopeful that he’d say yes. Although you did like tradition, you want to pop the question to your boyfriend, and what better way to do it than what you know best; music.

“Oh, you do? What is it, love?” Tom was not a fan of surprises and for almost every occasion he would try to pry his present out of you.

“You know that I’m not going to tell you,” you reply.

“It was worth a try. I was thinking that we can try strawberry picking,” Tom says and then kisses your cheek. “How does that sound, darling?”

“Sounds wonderful, Tommy,” you mumble. You kiss him and then get up from the sofa. You hold your hand out for him and say, “Let’s go, baby.”

“Let’s do it.”

The drive to the strawberry field was full of giggles, music, and love. You get to the field and Tom opens the car door for you, as per usual. He grabs the basket from the backseat and he guides you to the field. Tom takes photos of you dancing through the field and picking strawberries. He didn’t want to forget this moment, he couldn’t forget how beautiful and ethereal you look in this moment.

You get back home and wash the strawberries that you picked. You cut some up for you and Tom to eat. You gather by the sofa once again while Tom turns on your favorite film. You pull out your phone to text your best friend, Natalie, to set up the backyard for the proposal. Natalie and Harrison knew about your plan to propose to Tom and set up a stage for your small performance.

Tom cuddles beside you after he presses play on the television. “Who were you texting?”

“Just Natalie,” you answer vaguely. You didn’t want Tom to catch on or possibly find out about your plan. “Just chatting.”

“Ok,” Tom says, not buying it completely but he didn’t push. “After the movie, we’ll go to dinner, yeah?”

“Gotta show you something first, baby.”

“Tell me what it is,” Tom groans. He nuzzles his face into your neck and kisses it. “Please spill.”

“That’s not going to work with me, Holland. Now, let’s watch the film, silly.”

“Fine,” he says.

The film passes by fairly quickly. You clean up the living room with Tom, and then you tell him to wait in your bedroom until you text him to come outside. “Why must I wait in our bedroom, darling?”

“I just want to make sure that everything is perfect first,” you reply as if it were obvious. “Please don’t peak.”

“I promise that I won’t, angel,” Tom says and then kisses you. You cup his cheek and pull him closer. Your lips linger on his for a moment before you pull away. “What was that for?”

“I just love you, alright?” You choke up a bit. Thinking about what you were about to do made you emotional. You have never been in love with someone like you were with Tom. “You mean the world to me, Tommy.”

“I love you too, darling. You’re my entire world.” Tom always knew what to say and he gives you the reassurance you need. You pull away from him and walk towards the yard.

You finish setting up everything for the proposal and set up the projector for the slideshow. As the song plays, you planned on showing a slideshow of photos of you and Tom. You send a quick text to Tom telling him to come to the backyard. You hear him come outside and soon enough, he is standing in front of you.

He notices your display. He notices the decorated deck mimicking a stage with flowers surrounding it, white roses to be exact. He notices your microphone and speaker. “What’s all this, love?”

“I wrote a song for you,” you began, but you pause to rub your hands against your dress. Nerves were building up. “For our anniversary. It explains how I’m feeling.”

You see Tom smile at your explanation. “Let’s hear it then, baby. Whenever you’re ready.”

You prerecorded the acoustics and harmonies, so you would simply just turn on the speaker to play the music. “The song is called Paper Rings. I hope you like it.”

You turn on the speaker a pop upbeat sound fills the air and you immediately feel at ease.

The moon is high Like your friends were the night that we first met Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

As you were singing, you think about the memories that you and Tom share. You remember meeting him at an outdoor pub. You were first introduced to Harrison, Tom’s best mate. They were stoned, to say the least, but it was still probably one of the best nights of your life.

The wine is cold Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street Cat and mouse for a month or two or three Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night (Oh!) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life (One, two, one two three four!)

Tom looks at you like you’re the only woman in the world, yet he doesn’t know what your next lyrics would be. He didn’t know that you want to marry him as much as he did.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams Oh, you're the one I want

He begins to pick up on what you’re telling him, and it warms his heart. His eyes begin to water as he watches perform for him. You look very gorgeous too.

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool When you jumped in first, I went in too I'm with you even if it makes me blue Which takes me back To the color that we painted your brother's wall Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

Kiss you once 'cause I know you had a long night (Oh!) Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright Three times 'cause you waited your whole life (One, two, one two three four!)

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams Oh, you're the one I want

I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

You wrap your arms around yourself for emphasis and Tom giggles gently. He is crying at this point and you feel yourself tearing up too.

I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays Wrap your arms around me, baby boy Uh huh

You sing the chorus once more, and you begin dancing along with the music and Tom couldn’t help but smile at you.

You're the one I want, one I want

You finish off the song and you do a little bow as Tom claps for you. You walk towards him and he wraps his arms around you. “I loved that, baby,” he whispers in your ear.

You look at him and notice the tears streaming down his face. You wipe them away and say, “So?”

“So?” He repeats, not fully understanding where you’re getting at it.

“Will you marry me, baby?” You ask.

Tom smiles and instead of answering, Tom reaches for something in his back pocket. He pulls out a velvet ring box and gets down on one knee. Tom opens the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. “Does this answer your question?”

“Yes it does,” you giggle. “I guess that we both had the same idea.”

“It’s not a paper ring, though,” Tom says, referring to your song.

“Well, I do like shiny things,” you joke. “I’d be honored to marry you, Tom.”

Tom slips the ring on your finger and stands up to kiss you. This moment couldn’t be more perfect.

“Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, lover.”

~

Tagging: @canwekissforever-hazzy @storybookholland​ @petesrparker​

#tumblr killed the quality of the photo omg #i hope you like this #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #i’m obsessed with taylor swift ok bye

[danniburgh]

Formalities and Introductions (a RushBit one shot)

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: It's mother's day and you get to meet Javier's mom.

Word count: +2k

Chapter warnings: mentions of death and dead people and nostalgia.

A/N: This is canon RushBit after the main story,  it will make sense once we throw ourselves into it. I just wanted to commemorate Mother's Day with this.

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

May 9th, 1996.

You turned on the driveway and pulled over; when you turned off the car and grabbed your bag from the co-pilot’s seat, you felt your smile creep up on your face again and you tried to hide it, unsuccessfully.

You got out of the car and immediately the big black ball of hair that was Pepe ran out of Chucho’s house and you crouched to greet the old pup.

“Hi, good boy,” you cooed to him as his large tail formed whiplashes around the space “where are our men?” you asked him, standing up. The dog huffed and turned around to walk back to Chucho’s house.

You followed him and walked in. The first thing that welcomed you was the stern voices of two men arguing in spanish. You walked behind Pepe into the kitchen and crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the arch frame of the entrance, neither of them seemed to notice you.

“No, viejo terco, no,” (stubborn old man) Javier chastised from the chair he was sitting on, his back to you, as Chucho chopped something on the counter, his back to Javier.

“Is that the way to talk to your dad?” you asked out loud, Javier seemed to wince and turned around to see you.

“It’s my dad,” he replied, Chucho chuckled, turning around to wink at you and to clean his hands with the kitchen towel hanging on his shoulder “I talk to him how I want to.”

“No, you don’t, shut up.” you teased, Javier smirked and took the can of beer that was resting on the table in front of him and took a gulp. Chucho sat next to him as you left your bag on the opposite chair.

“How’d it go?” Javier asked, watching you walk to the fridge and take out the water jug and make your quick way to the dish rack for a glass.

“I hate the DMV,” you mumbled, pouring the water on the glass and placing it in front of Javier, along with a kiss on his temple, “I got yelled by a lady trying to cut in line,” you chuckled and Chucho followed, you left the jug on the table and took the beer can from Javier’s hand, “but I got it.”

“Hey that’s mine,” Javier frowned as you walked to the sink and left the can there, “show it to me.”

“Was, drink your water,” you said, Chucho chuckled again and shook his head when Javier let out a huff, he knew better than to say something at that point, he knew how much you cared about Javier, “I even got surprised, I don’t look half bad in the photo.” you raised your eyebrows as you walked to the chair, took your bag and rummaged around it, finding the small plastic rectangle and handing it to Javier when you sat down.

“Half bad? you look gorgeous.” Javier mumbled, Chucho leaned to the side and Javier handed it to him.

“You do, Florecita.” Chucho said, smiling at you.

“Well thank you,” you smiled back at him, “with that driver’s license I’m officially a citizen of Texas.” you rolled your eyes and Javier frowned in feigned hurt.

“What’s wrong with Texas?” he said as you took the license from Chucho’s hand.

“I’m not saying there’s something wrong with it.” you shrugged, taking the water glass you had put in front of him and taking a sip of the cold water.

“You’re suggesting it.” he narrowed his eyes with that shit-eating grin of his.

“I’m not! what do you care? you hate Texas.” you rolled your eyes again and Javier faked a gasp.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not fond of it.” he let out, taking out a laugh out of you. Chucho muttered something along the lines of chamacos locos (crazy kids) and stood up to resume his chopping.

“And yet you’re making me live here,” you chuckled out and Javier just shrugged, “what are you cooking, suegro?” you asked, and Javier took the glass from your hand to drink out of it.

“Meatloaf,” Chucho replied “Javi, remember to pick up the flowers in the morning.” he said without turning.

“Yeah.”

“What flowers?” you asked Javier.

“Tomorrow’s mother’s day.” he let out, moving on the chair to face you better.

“I thought it was this sunday,” you narrowed your eyes until your brain remembered that the holiday was celebrated on the tenth in México, “oh shit.”

“Oh shit indeed,” Javier teased, knowing you just had to remember it, his hand snaked on the table to take yours “we’re gonna go see mom,” he muttered “wanna come?”

Javier felt a bit nervous asking you that; to go with him and his dad to the cemetery and look at a tombstone he hadn’t seen for a long time.

He didn’t talk about his mom often, because it all reminded him of the last time he saw her and the image of his smiling mother tortured him more than do him any good; he spent a long time of his adult years wondering if the choices he was making would disappoint the woman that had birthed him and wrapped him in so much love since the first minute he was on earth; he spent most of his life thinking what would his mother say if she found out what he was doing or why. And he still needed to work on restoring the memory of his mother in his mind, because she would smack him on the nape if she knew he avoided talking about her at all.

He saw your eyes, wrapped in that warm kindness that had settled in them since you had moved in with him and decided to stay by his side; he knew you wouldn’t say no, but he still had to ask.

“Sure, you don’t have to ask me.” you said, Javier nodded and gave you a tight lip smile and turned to his dad.

“You need help, pop?”

“No.”

Javier padded inside the room when you got out of the ensuite, towel drying your hair, he walked around the bed, sat on the edge of the edge of his side, his back to you, and picked up the book you two were reading before falling asleep.

“You ok?” you asked him, he hummed in affirmation while looking around the nightstand, “you sure?” you asked him again, he turned his face to look at you and saw you with your eyes narrowed as you threw the towel in the hamper.

“I’m fine.” he said, following you as you walked to the dresser and picked up his glasses, you shook your head slowly and sat next to him, handing the glasses to him.

“Liar, liar.”

He scoffed when you stood up and walked around to your side; he stood up as well, and you began that half put together routine you had before bed; pulling down the covers, throwing some pillows on the bed’s end bench and climbing on the bed to snuggle together right in the middle of the mattress.

“Do I have to ask you again?” you muttered, resting your head on his shoulder as he picked up the book. He sighed and shuffled to face you.

“I haven’t been to her grave since I left.” he mumbled.

“I don’t think she judges you for it.” you let out, he chuckled humorlessly.

“You didn’t know her,” he said, “she does.”

“I don’t know her because you won’t talk to me about her,” you whispered and Javier sighed again, you turned your head to face him, he was already looking at you. “I understand it’s hard, but I’d like to know about her.”

Javier looked at you without saying a thing for a few seconds. His hand reached to your cheek and he nodded a few times.

“Ask away.” he whispered, you gave him a smile that he could only classify as the smile of a curious child and it made his chest turn around with love.

May 10th, 1996.

The bouquet was heavy, but you insisted on carrying it yourself, the smell of the pink carnations invaded your nostrils as Javier’s hand gripped yours in that entangled mess that was your fingers when you held hands.

“Por acá.” Chucho said, he was guiding you both through the narrow dirt paths of the Laredo’s Cemetery, Javier was helping you not step on any graves out of respect, he had said.

“I’m nervous,” you mumbled, Javier snorted “I’m about to meet your mom, I’m nervous.”

Javier let out a nostalgic chuckle.

“You met her last night.” he reminded, you smiled, remembering him abandoning the book when you started asking what you wanted to know about his mom; where was she born, when, where she grew up, how did she like to be called, her favorite kind of music, how she used to call him when he was a kid; all the things you didn’t know.

The ones you did, Javier was not the one to tell them to you, it was Chucho; your non-father in law loved when you were in a curious mood because you nagged him until you got responses, and from him you had learned her name, how did they meet, when they got married and how did she die.

But you were eager to learn Javier’s perspective about his mom, because Chucho spoke about her with all the love and devotion of a husband, a man that knew her soul and her body; but Javier knew her kindness and her protective side.

And you loved every bit of her he handed you, it made her more real and it was as if you knew her too. Or at least part of her.

“So carnations were her favorites?” you asked him in a low voice, Chucho turning right on another path.

“Yeah, those and jacarandas,” he replied with a smile, you turned to see him and smiled at him “but those don’t grow here.”

“Isn’t Guadalajara filled with those trees?” you asked, almost in a rethory, remembering the brief time you spent in that city and seeing the streets filled with purple little flowers, Javier nodded.

“I saw some of those in Colombia too, most of them in Medellín,” he mumbled, gripping your hand tighter absentmindedly, it was still hard for both of you to talk about Colombia, but it was harder for him “reminded me of her.”

Chucho stopped in front of a white tombstone, on each side there were two stone vases with some half-dead flowers on them and he took his hat off, you looked at Javier and he breathed in heavily, you handed him the bouquet and he gave you half a smile.

“Hola, mi amor.” Chucho let out, “happy mother’s day” his usual stern tone faded and you felt a tight knot in the middle of your chest and bit your lip.

“Here, pop,” Javier undid the bouquet and gave him half the carnations, “hola, mami,” he whispered to it and you just saw them moving silently around the grave, you stood there, in front of the gravestone.

Margarita García de Peña. Beloved wife and mother. 1926 - 1967

The two men in front of you took out the dead flowers and put the carnations in the vases, Chucho stood there, a hand on the cold stone and started whispering to it.

Javier walked to you and you opened your arm for him to settle around.

“She was so young.” you said, he nodded.

“She had me young.” he mumbled, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Gracias.” you whispered. He looked at you with half a frown and saw you looking at the grave.

Javier huffed and shook his head with a soft smile adorning his face; he tugged you to him and wrapped you inside his arms, you put your arms around his waist and Javier kissed your temple.

“She would’ve loved you.” he murmured on your skin.

“She loved you.” you said, making him hug you tighter.

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[elvish-sky]

Look Back {Thorin x Reader}

A.N: A thousand thanks to @guardianofrivendell , who kinda kickstarted this entire fic with their great idea (everyone go check out their work, it’s incredible!). Quick note on character ages- after the five years later bit Sigrid is 20, Otto is 3, and Kieran of course is relative to your age. I honestly really enjoyed writing this, even the parts where it made me cry (a good emotional outlet. Send me more angsty requests!) so I really hope it’s what you wanted, Anon! 

Requested by Anon on Tumblr: Thanks for answering my ask about angst! No worries if it'll take a while, so long as you're healthy and not stressing out about it, I will wait cuz your writing is soo worth it)I was wondering if I could request an either thorin x reader(f!human) or kili x Reader(f!human) where the reader is dumped by them and she moves on (like ends up with an elf or another dwarf) and lives a happy life, and thorin or kili regrets having left them and tries to get them back but sees that they lost their One cuz of their mistake and regrets it? (Is that too angsty?? I'm so sorry if it is!)

Word Count: 4,576. The longest thing I’ve ever written is an angst fic. Huh. 

Summary: Thorin doesn’t want to push back against the council when they say you cannot be married.

Pairings: Thorin x Reader, OC (I have those now. Huh.) x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Regret, End of Relationship, Sadness, Fluff

Director’s Commentary

****

Look Back

“It is the will of the council that, since Y/N is not a dwarf, the two of you shall not be married, and cannot be together.” 

Your head jerked up. You had been expecting pushback, but not a flat-out refusal. Turning your head to look at Thorin, you saw him bow his head in defeat.

“Very well. If it is the will of the council.” 

The words hit you in the chest like an arrow. You thought he would fight for you, but no. You weren’t worth it. You rose and left without another word, slipping between the doors as the council watched you go. Balin sighed from his seat midway down the stone table, shaking his head in disappointment at the whole room. 

Arriving at your rooms, the ones right next to Thorin’s that you had been so proud of, you started shoving your belongings into a sack, leaving anything that had been given to you by your former love out. You didn’t want any reminders of him, even to see him ever again. 

Sadly, your wish to not see him didn’t work, as shown very quickly. Barely three minutes after you had entered your rooms, he came bursting through the carved double doors. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but I can’t disobey the council.”

You scoffed, grabbing your few tunics and folding them into the bag. 

He continued, “You can stay, we can ask again in a few months, give them more time to warm up to the idea.”

“No. If I’m not worth fighting for now, how do I know I’ll be worth it then?”

You were drawing the string closed on your meager bag of belongings. It was rather sad to think how little you actually owned, versus what had been gifted to you by your former betrothed.

“I’m not going to risk my heart like this, Thorin. I can see that I never actually mattered.”

“Y/N-” 

You cut him off.

“You’ve broken promises before, but I never thought you’d break this one, Thorin Oakenshield.” 

You had been undoing your courting braid as you spoke, and now flung the bead at him. It fell into his hand, and you didn’t even spare a moment for the pain in his eyes as you slammed the door behind you, leaving a king with everything feeling as if he had just lost the one thing that really mattered. 

You arrived at the gates to Erebor to see something rather unexpected. The entire company was gathered there, and you stopped in front of them. They were all gazing at you with unshed tears in their eyes, and looking at them you couldn’t believe how far you all had come from that ragged company running for their lives. It made you sad to think about leaving, when the reminders of what you were giving up were all right there.

“I’m sorry about the council, lass.” Balin was the first to speak. “I tried to sway them, but it just couldn’t be done. I’ll keep trying.” 

You mustered a small smile for the old dwarf. “Thank you, Balin, but you don’t have to keep beating a dead horse. We both know nothing will come of it.” 

Each member of the company stepped forward and said goodbye, hugging you before moving back to the group. Dwalin settled for briefly squeezing you, before stepping back with a muttered, “I’ll miss yeh, lass.” You saw him surreptitiously wipe a tear from his cheek, and giggled a little.

Nori slipped a few coins into your pocket, as well as a set of lock picks. “You never know when they’ll come in handy.” 

Dori was crying as he pressed several bags of tea leaves into your hand. You sniffed them, recognizing the scent of your favorite kind.

Ori was also teary as he quickly wrapped a knitted scarf around your neck. “It gets cold out there,” were his parting words before he retreated to stand next to  Dori.

You let out a small laugh as Gloin handed you an ax. “I already have my sword!”

“Yes, lassie, but everyone knows axes are better.” There were gasps of outrage, but you were glad that the dwarf had lightened the mood, even just a little. Besides, the axe truly was gorgeous. A lovely specimen of dwarven craftsmanship, with a beautifully carved handle. 

“Is that a dragon?” Gloin nodded, and you marveled at the intricacies. 

Bifur approached next, pressing a carving into your hand. You looked at the figure. “That’s me!” He nodded, and you gazed at the detail he had worked in, even the etchings on your sword were visible in the wood. 

Bombur handed you a satchel, and you opened it. You gave the dwarf a big hug as you saw the honey-scones packing it to the brim. “My favorite.” 

“The recipe is in there too.” You couldn”t resist giving him a second hug of thanks.

Bofur came forward after his brother. “I’d sing you something, but I’m not sure I can do it without crying.” You straightened his hat, which had been set askew by your hug, as he stepped back. 

Fili and Kili were last. Fili approached you slowly, but Kili shoved him out of the way and crashed into you. Burying his face in your coat, he whispered, “I really wanted to get to call you Auntie.” 

You choked back tears, wrapping your arms around him as his brother joined the hug. 

“You’ll write to us?” Fili looked as if he was trying not to cry as well, while Kili had given up and had tears visibly streaming down his cheeks. 

“I will.” You broke away with difficulty and gave the group one last look. “Thank you all, so much.” They nodded, and you turned and walked out of the gates, leaving your old love behind. 

Thorin watched from the ramparts high above as you left. He knew he had made the right choice for his kingdom, but it hurt. The expression on your face was slowly killing him, and he knew whatever his doubts had been that you had truly loved him. He had loved you too, but he thought he loved his kingdom more. Nevertheless, he found himself hoping that you would turn around, come back, even though he knew he would have to turn you away. 

You didn’t turn around. 

You didn’t even look back.

*Five Years Later*

You shouldered the door open, arms full of papers. “I’m home!” 

“Mama!” A small shape barreled into you and you barely managed to hold onto the papers, handing them to your husband before scooping the three-year-old up.

“Otto! How was your day?” You pressed a kiss to Otto’s forehead before pecking Kieran on the cheek as you brushed by him into the sitting room. There was a fire going, smoke drifting up the chimney and you stood near it, warming hands chilled by the brisk fall air. 

“Good! Look what I made!” Otto wiggled out of your grasp and trotted over to the table, where after lots of jumping he finally managed to catch hold of something. He placed it in your lap, and you weren’t sure whether to be mad or touched. You settled for shooting a glare at Kieran before oohing and ahhing over the crudely carved figure.

“It’s you, Mommy! Like the one on the table!” 

Examining it closer, you could see something that looked like a sword. It was nowhere near the skill of Bifur’s carving that you still treasured, but it was very sweet nonetheless. 

“Wonderful job, darling.” 

“Are we going to the market today?” Otto looked up at you with pleading eyes.

“Why?” You shot a suspicious glance at Kieran, who assumed a very innocent expression.

“Because Da said that if we went to the market and got ingredients you would make the honey scones!”

“He did, did he?” 

Kieran looked guilty as you frowned at him.

“Don’t worry. Let’s put our boots on and head out!”

Otto jumped with excitement and ran to grab his boots. 

You crossed your arms and glared at your husband. “I cannot believe you let him use a knife.”

“He’s three! He’s old enough. Besides, I was watching him the whole time.”

“That doesn’t make it any better!” You threw your hands up in exasperation before kissing him. 

“But don’t worry, I still love you.”

“I love you too.” Kieran drew you in for a deeper kiss, and you responded enthusiastically.

“Let’s go!!” Your moment was interrupted by Otto, practically bouncing with excitement by the door. You laughed at him and wrapped your scarf, still holding up five years later, around your neck. Linking arms with Kieran, you giggled as Otto tugged on his hat from his perch on his father’s shoulders, and walked out the door. 

The streets of Dale were bustling, people going to the market, or the King’s house just down your street. 

Having been a hero of the Battle of the Five Armies, and one of two members of the company who had seen reason (the other being Bilbo, of course), you had a close friendship with King Bard. When you had marched into Dale after leaving Erebor, eyes still swollen with tears, he and his children had taken care of you, and it was because of him that you had met Kieran. 

Two months after leaving Erebor, you had been helping Bard train recruits for Dale’s army. Most of the men disliked being trained by a girl, but one had taken your advice and training exactly as he would a man’s. He had grown skilled, and after striking up a friendship had asked to court you. You had said yes, even though you weren’t over Thorin, but had quickly fallen head over heels in love. Kieran was perfect. He respected your fighting skills and didn’t mind your closeness to the king. He was sweet, kind, funny, and in his eyes every was perfect until proven otherwise. He always saw the best in people, never the worst. In other words, he was everything Thorin hadn’t been, and more. 

The two of you were married in a ceremony officiated by the King Bard six months after he had asked to court you, a year after leaving Erebor. Fili, Kili, and Balin had attended the ceremony, sneaking away from their royal duties for a day on the pretense of a diplomatic mission. You had kept your promise to write, and although the news of you finding someone else was hard for the two princes, they were happy your heart had started to heal. You had gotten pregnant two months later, news which was received with joy from everyone who heard. Upon reading your letter announcing the news that Fili decided to show him in the middle of a council meeting (later recognized as an extremely bad decision), Kili had let out a whoop of joy, looking guilty when everyone looked at him and promptly throwing the letter into the fire. You had laughed uproariously upon hearing this story from Fili the next time he made it to Dale. The day that Otto was born, your heart healed more. You still remembered the pain you had felt leaving Erebor, of feeling like you did not matter, but it was better now. You had been able to keep in touch with most of the company, all who had been to visit at some point after his birth. You didn’t know if Thorin knew you had moved on or had a child, but you were getting to the point where you could forgive him, just a little, for the past. 

Swinging your hand entwined with Kieran’s, you made your way through the market, stopping at all your favorite stalls to chat and pick out baking ingredients. Noticing Sigrid, Bard’s eldest daughter, picking up honey, you talked while inspecting the jars. 

“Da’s been taking half a jar to put in his tea, lately. I think he’s craving sugar.”

“More than usual?”

You laughed at Kieran’s comment. “Tell him we’re making honey scones tonight. I’ll bring some up later.”

“He’ll appreciate that, although hopefully, Bain doesn’t eat them all first like he did last time!” 

“I wanna eat all the scones with Bain!” Otto was feeling left out from his perch.

“I’m sure he’ll be pleased to have the company.” Sigrid giggled at him, passing a flower up to him before waving goodbye.

“She’s a good kid.” Kieran looked after her fondly.

“We’re not that much older than she is!” You pointed this out as you brushed flower petals out of his hair, Otto looking sad as his work was undone. 

“Now c’mon. We still need to buy more flour, especially if we’re making scones for Bard!” 

You set off again, laughing with your family as you wound through the market. You were in the middle of the artisanal section when a hush fell, the sea of people parting as something made its way through. You kept moving forward, pushing people aside to see what was happening, until you came face to face with Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain.

“Y/N.” He was the first to acknowledge you, looking as if it pained him to do so.

“Thorin.” There were gasps at your familiarity, but you didn’t care. You promptly turned around, grabbing your husband’s hand and dragging him, a silent Otto clinging to his shoulders, away. 

You didn’t look back this time, either.

“You didn’t tell me she had a child!” 

Thorin was back in Erebor, pacing around his chambers as Balin watched. He had been unable to think properly after seeing you in the market, and Fili and Balin had decided that the best course of action, or at least the one least likely to cause a diplomatic incident, was to reschedule the meeting with Bard and bring him back to the Lonely Mountain.

“You never asked.” Balin had resigned himself to having a hard conversation the minute he saw you in the market, he just didn’t know what exactly that conversation would be like. They had managed to keep the two of you apart for the last five years, but it was bound to happen sometime.

“But...she has a child.” Thorin was devastated. 

He had found out that you had kept in touch with the company six months after you left, coming across Kili reading a letter from you in the library. The fact that Kili was in the library in the first place was suspicious enough, and his doubts had been confirmed when he snuck up behind his nephew and read the letter over his shoulder. 

His gasp of, “She’s courting someone,” had been loud enough to startle half the library. Kili had jumped and tried to hide the parchment, but Thorin had simply crashed down into the chair, head in his hands. 

After taking several deep breaths, all the king said was, “She’s moved on. I have to as well,” before rising and brushing himself off, as if to brush the memories of you away. He had seemed fine, but Fili had heard the muttering coming from his room that night, of loss and grief and mistakes. 

After that, they had been much better at hiding their correspondence. The brothers had only decided to tell him about your life one more time, a year after you left, saying you had been married. He had taken that news well, it seemed, but Kili had heard the broken sobs coming from the king’s chambers late that night. 

“She cannot be happy with that- that man!” Now, Thorin seemed to be taking this news hardest of all.

“She is, lad. We’ve all seen her with them. They’re a family.” Balin was trying to calm him down, but it just wasn’t working.

“But, she’d be happier here. With me!” He was pacing the room now, raking his hands through his hair in greater distress.

“Thorin,” Balin grabbed him, stopping him so that the two were face to face, “you still love her.” 

The king staggered back, falling onto his bed. His head was in his hands again, almost mirroring how he had looked with Kili four years ago. 

“Lad?”

“Leave.” 

The one word was whispered, quieter than Balin had ever heard his king. He left, closing the door and signaling to the guard outside that the king was not to be disturbed.

The next morning, Thorin walked out of his rooms with an air of purpose about him. He was wearing an old cloak, to not be recognized as the king. Fili and Kili still managed to notice the distinct gait of their uncle and stopped him in the halls right near the gate. 

“Where are you going?” Kili looked concerned.

“Balin was right last night. I am still in love with Y/N, so I’m going to bring her back.” 

The identical looks of shock on his nephew’s face would have been hilarious in other circumstances.

“You’re still in love with Y/N?!” 

“Keep up, Kili!” Fili smacked his brother before continuing. 

“Uncle, I hate to say this, but remember how she looked at you yesterday? I don’t think she’ll be happy to see you.” 

Kili nodded at his brother’s words. “Besides, you’re the king. How are you going to convince the council when you failed five years ago?” 

Thorin looked a little surprised at that, as if he hadn’t quite thought that far ahead, but shook it off. “She will be happy to see me this time. I’m going to Dale.”

“Uncle, no!” Kili tried to block his way, but Thorin shoved past him, disappearing quickly.

“Follow him to Dale, I’ll tell Balin and the rest of the company.” Fili brushed his brother off and turned to go back to the royal wing as Kili disappeared after their uncle. 

You were making your way through the twisting streets of Dale, delivering scones to friends as you went. You had stopped at the market to give some to the honey-vendor, who always appreciated them, before turning back the direction you came. You stopped back home to pick up the basket you had made for Bard, walking in on Kieran and Otto stuffing their faces with scones and looking incredibly guilty, before continuing the walk up the hill. You were ushered in by Hakon, as usual (Bard didn’t like keeping servants, he said it made him feel “stuffy,” but a king was afforded certain privileges), and you gave him a grateful smile as he took your heavy scarf to hang up. 

“I have scones!” You entered Bard’s office, plopping the basket on his desk from which he immediately grabbed one. 

“Delicious.” 

You smiled at his praise, laughing as Bain burst through the doorway behind you.

“Did I hear scones?” He quickly dove for the basket, grabbing two.

“One for each hand!” He tried to justify this before shrugging and taking a bite, giving you a thumbs up.  

“I’ve got to go home, make sure Kieran and Otto aren’t in a food coma, but I’m glad you like them!” 

The king and his son nodded at you, waving goodbye as their mouths were still stuffed with a scone.

“And save some for the girls!” You left with that, laughing at their sad faces. 

It was pleasant out, the sort of fall day you looked forward to, so you decided that Kieran and Otto could spare you for a little while, just long enough for you to take a walk on the walls of the city. 

The view of the mountain was gorgeous from here. When you had first left, you had spent hours staring, wondering if you had made a mistake by leaving. Now, you just liked to appreciate the view.

“Want to come back?”     

You jumped, spinning to see Thorin standing behind you. You hadn’t really paused to look at him the day before, but now you noticed he looked different. Not bad, but it didn’t look as if he’d found happiness the way you had.

He stepped forward. “Y/N. I’ve come to ask you to rejoin me in the mountain.”

Your jaw dropped. “What? Do you want me to move in with my family? That seems like a bad idea.”

“No, Y/N,” he took your hand and you were too surprised to remove it from his grasp, “I want you to be my queen.”

You laughed and jerked your hand away. It wasn’t a sound of amusement, no. It sounded empty.

Hollow. 

“We saw how well that went last time.” 

“No, Y/N. This time I mean it. Come to Erebor.”

“I’m happy here, Thorin. I have a husband and a child.”

“Your child can come too, and I’m sure I can do much better for you than that man!”

Your cheeks reddened with anger as you balled up your fists, trying to restrain yourself. “I’m happy here, Thorin! I don’t need you to take me to Erebor when I have everything I could possibly want already!”

He looked as if you had physically hit him.

“Y/N, you deserve more than this, though! The council won’t be any trouble this time.”

“And you think you’re the one who can give me what I deserve?” You laughed again, the hollow sound caught by the wind.

“No, dwarf. I have everything I deserve right here and I’m not going to let you ruin it. This is my happiness, and I will be damned if I let you take that away!”

“Y/N-”

“No. I wasn’t worth fighting for then, I know I won’t be worth it now.”

“But I love you, Y/N.”

“And I loved you, once. But you’re too late.”

He watched as you walked away for the third time, knowing that this was the last.

You didn’t look back.

Kieran knew something was wrong the minute you walked through the door. 

“Otto, say bye-bye to Mama and get ready to go with Sigrid!” He strode over to you and hugged you quickly before pulling away. 

“Sigrid’s going to take Otto for a few hours.” 

“Thank you, Sigrid.” You mustered a smile for her as she tugged her boots back on. 

“Of course! C’mon Otto, Bain’s waiting!” She giggled as the child trotted out of his room, looking squishy and adorable in his winter clothes.

He ran over to you and you bent down and hugged him. 

“I love you, Mama!” 

You kissed his forehead before ushering him to Kieran, who got the same treatment before Otto trotted over to Sigrid and grabbed her hand. 

“Bye Y/N! Bye Kieran!” You lifted a hand in farewell as they left, waiting for the door to close behind them before collapsing into Kieran’s arms.

He immediately started to murmur to you, whispering reassurances in your ear as he guided you to sit next to him. He waited for your sobs to fade before speaking.

“What happened?”

“I went for a- a walk on the walls and I ran into Th- Thorin,” you choked out, voice breaking when you said his name.

You could see Kieran’s face soften in understanding. 

“Did he harm you?”

You shook your head. “He wanted me to marry him. He…” you hesitated as you saw Kieran’s eyes spark with anger, but continued. 

“He said you weren’t good enough for me. I told him you were better than I deserved.”

His eyes lightened again and he pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

“Do you need to talk it out?” That was one of the things you loved about Kieran, he didn’t offer solutions or try to fix all your problems, he just listened. He knew that when you had an issue, you just wanted someone to talk to, not to come up with ideas but just to support you.

You nodded. “I just, I felt so bad for him. And I know I shouldn’t, but he just seems so lonely.”

“Do you want to go back? He’s right, you deserve more than me.” 

Your head snapped up. “No! Kieran, why would you think that? I’m happy here. I have the perfect husband and a wonderful child, and I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world.”

He still looked doubtful. 

“Kieran, he broke my heart five years ago, and yes, I was in love with him then, but you picked up the broken pieces and helped me heal. I’d never leave you.” 

You kissed him on the lips this time, trying to convey just how much he meant to you. “I love you,” you whispered, pulling away. 

“I love you too.” He pulled you back in for another kiss. When you broke apart you lay your head on his chest as he moved to lay down. 

“Let’s take advantage of the extra rest before Otto gets back.”

You laughed at him and felt the rumble of his chest as his breaths deepened, watching him fall asleep. As you faded into unconsciousness, you couldn’t help but think that after all you’d been through, you were so unbelievably lucky to have found Kieran. 

Thorin had never understood what people meant when they called Erebor The Lonely Mountain. Now, walking up to the gates alone, he got it. Something was missing, something that he’d never noticed before but now felt the absence of more keenly than ever. He couldn’t believe that he had failed to win you back. He hadn’t realized just how much he had hurt you five years ago, but the pain in your eyes had made it very clear. 

“I’m sorry, Uncle.” Kili appeared next to him as he walked up to the gates. 

Thorin ignored him, ignored the salutes and waves he got from his subjects as he made a beeline for his rooms, Kili dashing around in his wake to fix the wounded pride of every dwarf he ignored. 

Once Thorin made it to his rooms he locked the door behind him, taking slight delight even through his misery at the thump meaning Kili had crashed into it, before collapsing in his chair. 

He still was in shock. No, not shock, he was devastated. It had never occurred to him that you would be happy in Dale, wouldn’t want to rule a kingdom. He had thought that he wasn’t in love with you for the better part of five years, and once he realized he still was he hadn’t thought you wouldn’t feel the same. 

A knock sounded at the door. “Please let us in, Uncle.”

Thorin sighed and went to undo the bolts. 

Fili and Kili entered, both looking much more subdued than usual. Fili took in how Thorin’s coat was thrown on the floor, his boots tossed haphazardly in each direction and sighed. 

“What do you need?” Despite knowing how Thorin had hurt you, Kili couldn’t help but feel bad for his uncle. He had never seen Thorin like this. He looked broken. 

“I need to be alone.”

His nephews nodded, actually obeying him for once, and slipped out the door. 

Thorin was again left alone with his thoughts. Somehow, he had realized that you had been his One. That was why he had said out to make things better. But he had failed. He had lost his One, the only person who he could ever love didn’t love him back. 

Thorin buried his head in his hands, letting out a broken sob. For the fourth time in his life, he had failed. He was too late. 

Everything tag <3: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @anjhope1 @boyruins

Thorin tag <3: @lathalea

#maiawrites #lookbackverse #the hobbit #lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #thorin #thorin fanfiction #thorin story #the hobbit thorin #thorin x y/n #thorin x you #the company of thorin oakenshield #thorin fic #thorin x reader #thorin oakenshield x you #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin oakenshield x y/n #angst #fluff #thorin and company #fili #kili #fili and kili #balin #bard the bowman #bain of dale #sigrid of dale #the hobbit fanfic

[hiyadarlingirl]

PART 5

Hello sweethearts:)

Next part (part 6) will be the last one. It will be a long one and very cozy and christmassy and romantic. Please let me know if you are reading these, it motivates me a lot to write more. Maybe I’ll start a new series!

Xxxx Murphy

Timmy POV

I was sitting on the corner of her bed when she woke up.

I was surprised she didn’t flinch when she noticed me, there was no trace of fear to be found. It pleased me. I gave her a smile. When you have had an entire night to overthink the possibility of having lost someone you love there is a glossiness on their presence and a gratitude in seeing them do simple things, like breathing or hear their voice. I had been mad at her too but these feelings had dissolved completely when I saw her face in that hotel in Manhattan.

‘Ready?’ I asked.

‘Hell yes.’ Her voice was raspy but her eyes were bright and awake.

‘Good.’ I said and stood up. ‘Do you want coffee here or get some outside?’

‘Outside’

‘Excellent choice’

She chuckled and made a motion with her hand to tell me to get out of the room to let her change.

‘I’m going I’m going.’ I walked out and got into my jacket and a scarf. There were two gloves laying on the heater in the same color as the hat I’d given her. I wondered if she’d brought them from home or bought them in the city.

‘You can keep the hat if you want’ I told her when she joined me at the door. She just shook her head and tousled my hair.

‘You’re too good for this world Timmy I mean it.’

I just laughed and looked at the floor.

****

It was raining outside, too early for the snow to be lasting. It would come back in a couple of weeks.

We walked around Central Park with our coffees and I told her stories I had memorized, inside information about the history of the park. When Zendaya pointed to an information board in the northwest part of the park I told her the story of Seneca village.

I told her that in the 1820s when Central Park was yet to be put into existence most people lived in lower Manhattan, but after the abolition of slavery and a shortage in jobs it became unsafe for free black people to live in this area. They moved uptown to the hilly countryside and bought a piece of land and named it Seneca village. It soon became an integrated community. People of all ethnicities seemed to get along and through archeological findings it also seemed like the village was quite rich.

Unfortunately as the development of Central Park started the village got destroyed and its history forgotten until recent archeological excavations.

‘Imagine how many poc families would be in upper class by now if their properties weren’t demolished’ zendaya said after I finished talking.

‘Yeah crazy right.’

‘It’s weird to walk here now I know this. It feels like walking through something sacred.’

***

After Central Park I showed her my favorite pizza place, stone oven and hand made. We ate and talked and afterwards I brought her to a small cinema I used to come as a kid and we went in to watch a screening of lady bird. Halfway through the film Zendaya put her head on my shoulder. She didn’t say anything and I didn’t object. I wanted to wrap my arms around her so badly and interlace my fingers with hers but I didn’t move. I was glad we were close again and reminded myself I could never ask for more then friendship.

The next day Zendaya left to go home to LA. I was sulky and called some friends to spent the rest of the week with them instead of feeling sorry for myself and being on my own.

Zendaya and I didn’t talk a lot the following month, just a few how are you’s over text but then december came and my phone rang. I was in London at the time in a taxi and it was pouring outside making it hard for me to understand what she was trying to tell me.

‘Tom and I we.... I... it’s not fair to him. We had a great time but I had to tell him. I told him it’s over.’ She was rambling and talking so fast I had to fill in a lot of gaps. Did I hear this correctly or was I making this up. How could this have happened? They were so invested in eachother. Or at least I’d told myself this over and over.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

‘I’m good, yes. Where are you, what’s that noise.’

‘London, it’s raining.’

‘Ah. Too bad.’

‘Why?’

‘Oh nothing.’

I smiled. ‘Okay...’

‘Well actually I thought maybe I could come visit again? I miss New York and I need to get out of LA...’

‘Yes of course Zee.’

‘When can I come?’

‘I’ll be back next week but I have to return my uncles car that I borrowed, he lives in Vermont so it’ll be a bit of a drive. I’m not sure when I’ll be back from that, probably just before Christmas.’

She was quiet for a bit as though she was contemplating this. “Can I come?”

‘To Vermont?’

‘.....yes.’

‘Sure, yes of course.’

‘How long are we in the car for?’

‘Six hours or so, so we should probably crash there.’

‘Oh jezus.’

‘Yes it’s up north quite a bit.’

‘Won’t your uncle mind?.’

‘He lives in a huge cabin it won’t be a problem.’

‘Okay sounds like an adventure.’

‘It sure will be.’

@lonely-simp @daya1and1timo

TO BE CONTINUED

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