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thatbadadvice · 10 months

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Help! The Woman I Have Been Stalking for Years Is Disinclined to Engage With Me

Carolyn Hax, WaPo, 1 June 2023 (originally 11 March 2009):

Dear Carolyn: About five years ago, I began to realize that a woman I dated 25 years earlier was someone I had stronger feelings for than I was mature enough to appreciate at the time. I had questions for her about why we hadn’t blossomed into the kind of relationship I now think we both believe we were destined for. In the past five years, I’ve continued to have those questions, then dreams, etc., which led me to do a paid search for her address. I wrote her twice and left a voice mail. My messages have been about old friends I bumped into who reminded me of her, what I’ve been doing and how I’d like to hear from her. That is, nothing too serious or about what’s been on my mind. I haven’t received an answer. I’ve thought through the reasons she hasn’t corresponded, and why I needed to talk with her, and am still at a loss. Would asking her my questions directly in a letter be a way to coax her to reconnect? Telling her that, apart from this midlife crisis of mine, I’m happily married and successful, and that all I want are answers? -- A 30-year-old question

Dear 30-Year-Old Question,

One might expect a happily married person to do all kinds of things, but topmost among them is paying to find the contact information of an ex-girlfriend and sending said ex-girlfriend multiple unanswered messages, repeatedly and through a variety of means, over the course of many years in the hopes of deceiving her into heady conversations about the details of your long-ended relationship. Yes indeed, when the Bad Advisor thinks of "normal stuff a person who's very happy in their marriage would do," her mind immediately goes to "pretending to ask innocuous questions about old friends in the hope that a woman I dated 30 years ago believes I am solely and only asking her innocent questions about old friends, when in fact I am explicitly and admittedly not."

Women are famously unable to clock the intentions of men, who are very clever, extremely stealthy, and never creepy or dangerous to the extent that they would unsettle people from whom they have demanded interaction and who have time and time again ignored them. Probably this woman received your incredibly blasé letters and voicemail and thought: "Gosh, it seems like this dude who deuced out on me three decades ago is trying to rope me into responding to him multiple times despite my obvious disinclination to engage only and exclusively on the subject of our old friends, what a boring conversation, I shan't respond unless he sends me a lengthy bit of written correspondence detailing his many thoughts and feelings about how our romance ended, I simply can't imagine having a conversation with him unless I know for absolute certain he wants to rehash what happened between us, which is the only possible way I could fathom entertaining such a reconnection, one which I would never have reason to pursue otherwise, as I am so desperately in love with him and have been lo these 30 years but could not in good conscience find a way to broach the subject unless he sends me just one more letter finally making his bonerful intentions plain, that sly dog."

Might you have neglected to include a return address on the previous correspondence about which you were extremely desperate, but in a very casual way, to receive a response? Does your ex-girlfriend own the only cellular telephone on earth that does not log the return-call number of people who leave voicemails? Mayhap she simply does not know how to contact you after multiple attempts over half a decade! These are highly probable reasons she has not sought you out! Vastly more likely than the fact that she sees entirely the fuck through your pretenses and wants nothing to do with you whatsoever.

If you wish to receive a concrete answer about the status of your relationships, your best hope is to CC your spouse on any future correspondence. I think you can expect a prompt response.

#advice #bad advice #carolyn hax #washington post #mid-life crisis #happily married #the gift of fear #just asking questions #sea lion #m'lady #stalking #just regular stuff happily married dudes do #absolutely normal shit

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normal0person · 18 days

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Hey gamers. *tips fedora*

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanart #sonic #sth fanart #sth #my art #silver the hedgehog fanart #silver #silver the hedgehog #fedora #m'lady #traditional drawing

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curtaincallforalastor · 1 year

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Alastor is grace. Alastor is poise.

Pen is... trying. And failing. Very badly.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #rosie #hazbin hotel rosie #pentious #hazbin hotel pentious #Rosious #VictorianRose #SnakeRose #Pen is a simp #m'lady

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chilesmyheart · 8 months

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Now I need to watch Miraculous💀😂🤨

#miraculous ladybug #ladynoir #adrienette #adrien agreste #chiles #danger force #shipping #m'lady

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neoruby-loves-ut-aus · 1 year

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I finally made @zu-is-here 's cat Koshka! She looks like an innocent lady to me. The first one is her semi-human version and the second one is her human version with a cute cat hairband. I hope the queen likes it.

(Also this is Koshka's gift as today's her bday!!)

#gachaclub #gacha oc #gacha character #gacha club #koshka #zu is here #gift #semi human #semi cat #cute cats #catwoman #m'lady

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rongzhi · 1 year

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#douyin #video #tiktok #M'LADY #personal fave

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mummifiedgoose · 1 year

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Jeffannie sucks for reasons we all know but it KILLS me because they were pushed so hard that they were given all the great ship fodder and cute moments and cliches the writers could come with!!! Why!!!! Why!!!!! Why them!!!!! Agony.

#M'lord #M'lady #I MEAN COME ON #community #annie edison #jeff winger #jeffannie #six seasons and a movie #mummifiedmumbles

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funderberkersims · 11 months

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not fauna growing up with a litteral FEDORA on her head

#sims 2 #sims 2 gameplay #mine #undonia #m'lady

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demonlem0n · 1 year

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Legend of exorcism │

Xuanyin

♪ Grasses in the north are turning green, while leaves in the south have burdened tree branches oh darling, you have been gone for so long, leaving me home alone, heartbroken you are a stranger to me, wind of spring why do you come to my private chambers? ♪

#m'lady #legend of exorcism #tianbao fuyao lu #tbfyl #my gif

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uptoolateart · 6 months

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Totally random thought but...the M'lady thing always makes me think of Milady in The Three Musketeers...and then I remembered that book also features a character named Kitty.

Someone French please tell me if these are the names used in the original language. I've read the book twice, but only in English translation. I tried googling but didn't come up with anything useful.

#miraculous ladybug #mlb #ml fandom #ml thoughts #random #m'lady #milady #the three musketeers

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thevalkilere05 · 2 years

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🤡✨ Kingle Bells ✨👑