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#lovisa talks
fantasycorrupted · 8 months
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a thing: unless my character has set their sights on winning yours over because they're interested for some reason, they're not going to trust them right off the bat. and if they somehow decide they should not be giving away their trust... welp good luck.
the corbeaus were betrayed by their very own family, so despite being painfully lonely and unless they've thrown themselves over someone trying to make friends, you'll need time to win them over.
same goes for fíann; because her ex merric ruined her reputation for a lot of people in their friends group, she might do and say anything but unless she feels someone can be trusted, she's going to bend over backwards and use all the fake aliases and lie and pull things out of her butt just to stay away from people. unless someone gives her reasons she can trust them. but even then she'd be preparing to stay safe from an eventual backstabbing. (that was what merric did & she's not taking that shit again.)
rigmor isn't very different from that also. she's a lot warmer on the surface, and open, too, and talkative, and it feels like she can trust anyone and everyone... but that's just the surface. underneath she's watching people closely and at the tiniest sign shit might hit the fan, she's out. whatever she went through with jareth scarred her, and the guy she was with before him also got an unhappy ending so prior to meeting kieran she'd nearly given up on keeping new friends (she'd known leila and yeona since they were kids) or hoping for a new relationship.
rita is... a wild card really. she has some friends and is generally well-accepted in the community because she's a chiropractor and shows some care, enough for people to trust her. she doesn't trust others much though. she just likes being alone and wants it that way, and to make her change her mind, a new friend/love interest would have to work hard.
lovisa has some trust. but because of her sister alberta having done what she did, stabbing not only her back but also their parents' and getting the community to shake their heads at lovisa every time they see her (with pity, but she still hates it)... yeah she doesn't trust easily either. definitely more easily than fíann and the corbeaus but not much.
now savash has more trust in her... weirdly enough. despite her family separating from her because of war and them being unable to meet/reunite as it's too dangerous to try and do so, and maybe because she's lonely as hell, sav keeps the hope alive in her that she can find friends and that they'll love her just like her family do. it happens to an extent, truly. and that gives her a reason to keep trusting.
and lastly, jareth. he is somewhat trusting, but, like rita, also a wildcard. again, he's also quite liked because he's a doctor, but because he's worse at covering up when he's killed someone to feed on them and has been caught - or something; it's happened with wild animals too, like deer - he tends to not trust people right off the bat. he is willing to do so if the conversation and person are intriguing enough from the first moment, but he also likes being alone. he only has a few friends and doesn't mind keeping it that way even though he'd be glad to be a stranger's company and meet new people.
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mydarllinglover · 1 month
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Stars Collided || Four
Previous
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It was late, Lovisa was staring out of her balcony, dressed in an pale pink nightgown, wearing a matching sheer robe, with a fluffy hem and cuffs.
She missed her parents, she had regrets, and truthfully, she was scared.
Was there really someone out there who wanted to kill her? She didn't want to die, especially for politics.
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts.
"Come in!" She called, from outside, she was surprised why Ahsoka would be knocking, normally, she just walked in as she pleases.
But who she wasn't expecting, was to see Anakin Skywalker walking in.
She turned around to face him, her elbows leant on the balcony as she stared, taking him in.
Seeing Anakin again, after all those years, it did something to her, something she didn't like.
He was incredibly good looking, which made things a lot more complicated, she knew for sure she was attracted to him, but he was a Jedi, and they follow a very strict code, it's why she didn't like him, she hated wanting things she couldn't have, and yet, it was always the things she desired the most.
He was also funny, and charming, and actually had an personality, unlike the other men she was forced to spend her time around.
"Hi, Princess." He greeted, walking towards her. "I wanted to check on you, make sure you weren't murdered, or at least still in your room."
"How did you know where my room is?" She asked him, her brows furrowing in curiosity.
"Padme showed me, my rooms just down the hall." He met her outside, and she turned back around, as he also lent on the railing.
"Oh..." She looked down, obviously his room would be near hers.
Silence surrounded them for a bit longer.
"Uh... I- I wanted to uhm, thank you.." She started, picking at her fingers, why did she feel nervous, Princess Lovisa Amidala was never nervous. "...For saving my life, a lot, today."
"Your highness, it is my duty to protect your life with my own, nothing will happen to you, as long as I can help it." He studied her face, as he licked his bottom lip.
"Oh, right." She looked away from him again.
"Princess, did I say something wrong?" He asked.
"No, you've done nothing wrong." She sighed.
"Then what is the matter?"
She weighed the question in her mind, but eventually, in normal Lovisa fashion, she dove in head first, not caring for consequences.
"Is my life only important to your job?" She asked, and she wanted to kick herself, as soon as the words left her mouth, but she looked back, keeping her eyes on his.
It took Anakin a few seconds to remember that he could speak, but he still could not find the words.
"Of course not." He said, shaking his head as he tried to think of what she said, and then what she meant. "I- Princess-"
"Don't" She held her hand up to him. "Talk to me without my title."
She wanted, no, needed him to care for her as a person, not as an Monarch, not the way as everyone else.
"Lovisa, I do value your life, regardless of who you are, and I do not wish to see harm brought to you, no matter how cruel or exhausting you have been to me, today." He said, truthfully.
She laughed, thinking of what she had really spent the day doing to him, how he had carried her through the village on his shoulder, how he had carried her so effortlessly.
"You have a beautiful smile." Anakin said, enjoying the sound of her laughter, it made him want to become the funniest person in the world, just to hear it.
"What?" She asked, even though she heard what he said, she just wanted to hear it again.
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." He corrected himself.
"Please don't say things like that to me." She rolled her eyes, remembering herself.
"Why not?" He bent his head, as he looked at her.
"Because..... I don't like the way it makes me feel." She blushed.
"It makes you feel bad? Me calling you beautiful?" He was growing more confused.
"No." She whispered, as she looked up at him, her eyes darting to his lips, before back up to his eyes. "The opposite."
She saw how his own cheeks reddened, and so she turned her head from him, looking towards the horizon, at the waterfall, the large span of grass.
"How did you become a Jedi?" She asked, changing the conversation.
"I was discovered, in my home town." He answered. 
"By who?" 
"Master Qui-Gon."
"I met him before." Lovisa nodded. "Where are you from?"
"Tatooine. It's not well known."
"I've heard of it, my father told me about that place, it's very far from the Kingdom." She said, as if he wouldn't already know that.
"Yes, it's a very sandy place. I don't like sand. It’s coarse, it’s rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere." He said, with disgust.
"Well, I can imagine." She laughed, "But your family, they are here, yes?"
"No, princess." He shook his head. "My mother is still back home, and I never had a father, I haven't seen her since joining the force, ten years ago."
"Oh..." She looked at him, sympathy swimming in her eyes. She loved her mother dearly, she couldn't even think about being so far away from her, for so long. "I presume you miss her terribly."
"Everyday, but the Jedi way, is to have no attachments, no fears, it can cause weakness, but the Jedi code, it's very outdated."
"Yes, I think it is." She nodded.
"So are the rules of being royal, I'm beginning to see."
"Very outdated." She pouted, as she looked away, an annoyed look on her face. "I have no role in life, no job, except to make the King and Queen look good, to be a back up for the throne, in case anything were to happen to the heir, or to marry wisely."
"Marry wisely?" He asked.
"Unlike you, I'm not forbidden from love, but, slim pickings. I can either marry to further my wealth and power, or I can marry for alliance, and neither of them interest me, very much."
"How come?"
"I don't care much for politicians" She waved away. "It's all rather stupid, and so are they, mostly. I'd like to marry someone who I got to know, someone who see's me as someone they can love, not just a step closer to a throne they will never get to sit on. I want to be married to a husband who wakes up everyday and thanks the universe that he was placed on the same planet as Lovisa Amidala, not Princess Lovisa, of Naboo, and the idea that one day my father will ship me off to some foreign land to marry a king, for the sake of the kingdom, terrifies me."
Since he was a child, Anakin had been thanking the universe, everyday, that he was placed on the same planet as the girl who had came to the temple, and told him how bored she was, that her father was in meetings, who had beat him in a spar, and laughed at the fact that she was a few inches taller than him, who had told the other Padawans and younglings to leave them, as they were having lunch together.
Anakin placed a hand on her cheek, his thumb swiping at her soft skin, his blue eyes locked on her hazel ones.
She was staring at his lips again, and he involuntarily licked them.
Every warning in their heads were going off, loud, but they both shut it off, no one was here now, telling them that this was wrong.
Anakin bent his head, grazing his lips across Lovisa's.
She gasped at the touch, and she nodded her head, making it happen again.
“Anyone would be lucky to have your love and devotion, I know I would.” He whispered. “You’ve been on my mind every single day since I’ve met you, Lovisa.”
And then they did it again.
“I missed you, incredibly much, Anakin.” She whispered back to him.
Anakin finally kissed her sweet lips, it was a taste he wanted on his own lips, forever.
The hand on her cheek moved to intertwine in her hair, and the other moved to hold her waist, under the robe.
Lovisa pulled away, leaning her forehead against his.
"Ani..."
But he lifted her head, and she fell, again, closing the gap between them.
Once again, realisation had kicked in, and she hated herself more and more.
"Ani, we can't." She whispered. "You’re a Jedi, and I'm a princess, we have our codes."
"Who cares about that?" He told her, the hand in her hair slightly tightened, before he let go, running his fingers through the dark curls.
"Everyone does. It's- this is forbidden."
"You always break the rules."
That she did, which is why she let him kiss her in the first place, but it was too good to stop, and she didn't want to break her own heart by following her rebellious tendencies, loving something she could never truly have.
"We can't do this." She sighed, "We would both be in incredible amounts of trouble."
"No one has to know, it'll be our secret."
"I don't want to have to hide you, we could never go past just this, secret kisses in the dark, there's nothing else for us, but this."
"And it's not enough?"
"Not from what is expected from me."
“I won’t give up on us.” He promised, his jaw clenched, as his eyes held hers, “I won’t throw what we have away, for stupid rules made hundreds of years ago.”
“Ani, there is no point clinging on to wishes and desires, it won’t change the trajectory of what is real.”
“But this is real, you can feel it, Vis, you know something is there, and I can too, there’s a reason we were brought together again, after all this time.”
“Because someone wants me dead, Anakin, and you are a Jedi, I don’t see that as fate.” She snapped.
“But I do, this is my first solo mission, there are lots of Jedi to choose from, much that are far older and wiser than I, and yet, I was picked for this, that doesn’t feel like a coincidence.”
“The more we lean into this, the harder it will be to come back from it.” She huffed, fed up with his stubbornness.
“Then I will leave the order.” He said.
“Anakin! You cannot! Do not say such foolish things.” She waved him off.
“It is not foolish, Princess.”
“It is, you are the chosen one, you are meant to bring balance to the force, to exceed expectations, you can not be so selfish as to leave for me, besides, you hold no other title, and I doubt you have much wealth, my father would never accept you.” She was being blunt, she knew it was harsh, but he needed to hear it, to come out of his delusions.
“I suppose you are right, your highness” The muscles in his jaw tightened, and she could see how his eyes swam with anger, but he remained steady, presenting himself as calm. “But nevertheless, that does not change how I feel for you, which is deep.”
“You hardly know me.” She scoffed.
“I’ve known you since we were children, and from the moment you pointed me out, you have held my heart in your hands, my heart beats for you, and I didn’t even know your name. I woke up every morning, your face being the first thing I saw in my mind, I waited and hoped that I would be greeted with your presence, once more, and now that I have had the chance to be this close to you, that I have you back in my life, I will not throw away this chance. The universe has finally answered my prayers, and I will not waste the opportunity. I won’t give you up, Lovisa, and I beg that you don’t disregard what I know you feel for me. My very soul yearns for you, and I hope that the kiss we shared will not be the last, that it will not become a scar on my lips.”
Lovisa felt dizzy with his confession, no one had ever spoke to her like that, bared themselves so raw, like this, it was all so new, and so sudden, and she never expected the first boy to properly confess his love for her, to be Anakin Skywalker.
But he was right, she did harbour strong feelings for him, she had never felt this way, it made her nauseous, she quite frankly hated it.
She placed a hand on his cheek, and he leaned into it, and his eyes fluttered shut, he was beautiful, how could anyone possibly compare to him, how was she ever going to move on from this boy, to someone who would never match to any of his qualities?
“I wish things were different, Ani, I wish that there was a life for us, out there, but we live in a reality where it is not, nothing we can do will change that, and it’s time you face it, I’m sorry.”
Then she walked back inside, to hide in her bathroom, for him to leave, as she willed for her own heart to stop racing.
Next
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isan0rt · 5 months
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I’ve been listening to the Horizon soundtrack again and man, the two different versions of In the Flood kill me. Specifically, having the main version be Aloy’s anxieties about not living up to Elizabet’s example and expectations, but Lovisa’s version be Beta’s view of Aloy and feeling she isn’t living up to Aloy’s example and expectations, is so fucking compelling. It says so much about them as people, and it also is really the first time we get a direct viewpoint of Aloy from a different first person POV, and how much she is to Beta as Elizabet is to her.
So I’m gonna talk about their songs.
Aloy's version of the song is straightforward.
"Am I the one to hold // this crown of ash and salt? // Their kindness calls to me. I have to block it out." All through Zero Dawn, she was seeking belonging and identity, but she can't afford to seek kindness now. She is the heir to Elizabet's legacy, the legacy that is falling apart in her hands. She has to ignore it, she has to be more than human.
"My voice has grown so somber // these words don't seem like mine // but the iron won't subside // no matter what I try." Aloy feels she is losing herself - there is nothing but the mission. She feels like she is getting nowhere and it is shredding her psyche.
"Am I raindrops in the flood? [...]If I falter, if I fall // the wave inside my soul // carries all I know // Who can take my hand in the flood?" She can't tell if she's making any difference, but the world is on her shoulders. She can't see how anyone can help her. She is on her own - and if she fails, everyone on Earth dies. The pressure is crushing her, but she has to stand strong anyway. 
"A voice calls me forth // through darkness unknown // my heart with silence burns through solemnness and bone // the edge beyond the shore // this weight of wood and rot // I long to reach the other // to find the path we lost." I think it's significant that the only voice Aloy is hearing at this point in the game (the opening credits) is her own voice - the same voice as Elizabet's. She is letting herself be subsumed into the identity of Elizabet, and it is crushing her ability to see anything in the world but the death and darkness. 
The refrain repeats here, except that the lyrics change from "If I falter, if I fall" to "If I'm broken, if I'm torn-" Aloy is faltering, she can't carry this alone, she’s tearing herself apart, but she can't afford to break. She is desperate for someone to take her hand, but can't imagine who could possibly bear the burden that feels like hers alone.
All very straightforward - terrible, anxious, crushing, but straightforward. She is worried about her mission, and she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. She is barely thinking of herself as an individual anymore. This song is a desperate cry for help, from someone who doesn't believe help is coming for her. She feels like she is alone, and always has been.
But Beta. Beta has a very different, much more complicated theme to her version of the song.
"My hands are full of flowers // my ears are full of songs." Right off the bat, we get such a loaded, complicated line. For the first time in her life, Beta is seeing life. The base is as sterile as the Odyssey was, but Zo has filled it with plants and music, specifically for the reason that the sterility felt unnatural to her. Beta flees these things into the barren server room, but they are still there, all around where she’s hidden herself. At the same time, I think this line foreshadows Varl's death - the flowers and songs of a gravesinger, the loss of the first person to treat her like a human being and not a machine.
"My heart has had enough // I'd rather just be wrong. I listen when you talk // your words all make sense // but underneath it all // I hear where we are going with this." Where Aloy's version is just crying out into the silence, Beta's is addressing someone specific, someone capable of speaking to her. This feels so clearly about Aloy's frustrations with her - how many times did Aloy come try to cajole her into being brave, like Aloy? She's tired of it. She's used to being told she's stupid and wrong anyway. She'd rather Aloy just be mad, because;
"I am raindrops in the flood // I am emptiness." Beta does not feel significant. She is certain she's as useless as raindrops in a flood; there is no question as in Aloy's version. She is a tool. She has always been a tool. And yet...
"I am hope. I am lonely in a crowd // but when you hear me // you'll be near me// stay with me in the flood." Even though Beta still thinks of herself as helpless, Aloy inspires her to feel differently. She is so conflicted about it. She's emptiness, but she is hope, too - she is Elizabet's legacy, too. But more importantly, when Aloy is near her, hears her, then maybe...
"In dreams I never left // I  had courage like the beast // My eyes they never fled // my arms would always reach." These are some of the clearest lines to illustrate this is Beta speaking, and not Aloy. She dreams of having courage, but implies that the idea of being able to keep her eyes high and forward is just a dream. She knows she is timid and scared, as a person. Her feelings of weakness continue here.
"You've hardened with your words // maybe fear is armor too // my voice is not that strong // when hurricanes come running from you." Aloy scares her. Aloy is so different from her - Beta's voice is weak and trembling, Aloy's so fierce even hurricanes flee her - but something about that inspires Beta, too. Beta feels stronger by exposure to Aloy, even though Aloy kind of scares her. And she looks up to Aloy, despite her fear;
“The little child inside // is jealous of your strength // The way you hold your head // When everything's aflame-" This is another clue this is Beta speaking - Aloy does not speak of Elizabet in the present tense. She is always asking what Elizabet would have done. Beta is seeing what Aloy does do, right now - she holds her head up even in the most dire of circumstances. Beta cannot see Aloy's fear and desperation, that Aloy only expresses within her own head in her own version of this song.
"Your back is straight as you walk away // Straighter than an oak in a storm // Only I remain // Should I have bent, been reshaped in your image? // Is that what you want?" Beta can only see how Aloy is different from her - strong, fierce, aggressive, yelling at her to be stronger. To be more courageous. To be more like Aloy thinks she should be - Aloy pushing her own feelings of trying and failing to be like Elizabet onto Beta. But Beta can't see that Aloy is angry at herself; she can only see the ways she's inadequate, the ways Aloy gets frustrated and walks away from her. Of course she wonders if Aloy just wants Beta to be another her.
And yet, the refrain repeats here, three times as opposed to Aloy's two. No matter how much she feels Aloy doesn't want her the way she is...she is inspired anyway. She wants Aloy to hear her, stay by her. Because when Aloy is there...maybe Beta can stand up through the flood.
Beta is the one who can take Aloy’s hand. Aloy does not have to be alone - and as much as she is falling apart inside from the pressure, none of that is obvious to Beta. Beta can only see her as the same inspiring figure Aloy imagines Elizabet to be - but unlike Elizabet, Aloy is here, real and alive, someone who can actually have feelings about Beta, be proud of and love Beta. Aloy is to Beta what Aloy has always needed from Elizabet - and Beta helps Aloy realize that what matters is not what Elizabet would have thought of her, but what Rost did think of her. Beta looks at Aloy and sees the person Rost made her, and is inspired by her. She can live in the here and now, and they can stay with each other, and endure the flood together.
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November MC of the Month: Riikka Lovisa Yläkorpi
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Please welcome November 2023's MC of the month! Each month, we will highlight one MC or OC that is currently on our Meet My MC / OC List. The MC / OC is selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!
This month’s MC of the month is…
@aallotarenunelma 's Riikka Lovisa Yläkorpi!
In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC / OC.
What I love most about Riikka is how she always finds a way to talk about Finland and share about her Finnish culture. She was born and raised there until she moved to Westchester when she was 2. Her father was born and raised in Porvoo/Borgå, Finland and her mother was born and raised in Astoria, Oregon, where there's an important Finnish community. It explains why she's so deeply connected to her Finnish roots.
Do you feel your MC / OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?
Riikka and I share the same height (163 cm), the same main love language (quality time), and a love for raspberries and salmiakki. We also share the same romantic and sexual orientations (demigray), but that was completely accidental. It was only a few months ago that I realized I was also gray, not just demi.
Unlike her, I don't have Asian origins, I have only one culture and one native tongue, I am not an only child, I am not allergic to peanuts and spring is not my favourite season.
What is most important to your MC / OC? What is their motivation in life? Happiness is most important to her. Happiness for her and also for everyone else. She wishes for people around her to be utterly happy, especially her loved ones.
What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes? Riikka's biggest pet peeves are cruelty and any forms of abuse. She also dislikes peanuts because of her severe allergy and rutabagas.
If your MC / OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be? That would be hanging out with Mr Red. If she could go back in time, in every timeline, she would not follow Jane and would tell her how bad that idea is. Each time, it has impacted the group and left Dan with PTSD and a high level of anxiety to manage.
What is your MC / OC’s favorite quote or song? "Voimallinen tahto vie miehen läpi harmaan kiven." ("A strong will takes a man through a gray rock.")
This quote is from the classic book Seitsemän veljestä (The Seven Brothers) by Aleksis Kivi.
Because Riikka has a silly side, she enjoys telling Dan "eteenpäin sanoi mummo lumessa", which translates into "forward, said granny in the snow". It means to keep going through difficulties with determination.
Both quotes are about sisu. It's a Finnish concept hard to translate but that could be explained as perseverance, strength of will, tenacity, courage, bravery during moments that seem hopeless.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC / OC?  (It can be why you created them, how they’ve inspired you, or you could write a little blurb as if it is coming from your OC - an acceptance speech. :) )
Riikka is very special to me because she's my first ILITW MC. Unfortunately, she passed away in a violent manner during my very first playthrough, leaving me shaken. I had to grieve her before being able to replay the book and create another MC.
Because I couldn't forget her, I decided to write a series, Darker Than Night, that follows the original timeline. It's very angsty but also cathartic.
I also had the idea of an AU series telling about how the lives of the children would have changed if they hadn't had the sleepover in the woods. This AU series is titled In Joy and Sorrow and it starts when they are in junior, so a year before when the book starts. I love this series because I can talk about so many important and different topics, and there are wonderful OCs. Even my four other It Lives MCs are dropping by from time to time.
Thanks to this series, I've really gotten to know Riikka, and I keep on learning about her. And now, she can fully live a great life she should have never lost so young in the first place.
Here are some stories to learn more about Riikka:
Darker Than Night
Joy and Sorrow
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cursedprinc3 · 9 months
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with: @arkynhaddock
sentence: ‘I don't wanna talk about it’
Dos Haddock não era surpresa para ninguém que Lucien era muito mais próximo de Lovisa, os dois dividiam quarto já a bastante tempo e tinham personalidades extremamente parecidas. Entre elas, serem um pouco descuidados, e naquele dia ele havia esquecido a chave do seu quarto. Pensando que os irmãos estariam próximos por conta de tudo que aconteceu, alguém que saberia onde Lovisa estava sem dúvidas eram seu irmão, e ele era muito mais fácil de achar que o furacão com quem dividia seu quarto.
Quando o encontrou a careta em seu rosto foi o suficiente para que as palavras que saíram quando ele perguntou se estava bem fizessem sentido. Lucien soltou um bufo. Ninguém ficaria bem naquele castelo tão cedo. "Viu Lovisa? Precisava da chave dela emprestada, você não teria uma cópia nem nada assim, teria?" Perguntou despreocupado.
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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year
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Selections from the Correspondence of the Lockridge Family, I/XVII
Letter from Tamett Lockridge, companion to Prince Josiah of Lienne, to his family.
Königshaus Palace
Königsstadt, Lienne
21 February 1908
Dear Father, Mother, Emenor, Lovisa, Cille, and Zella,
I am well. I hope you are well too. Everyone else here is well and says hello. They really don’t but this is something you are supposed to say in letters.
Today I had breakfast. It was good except for having to eat it with His Royal Highness. Then HRH and I had morning lessons with Professor Ebner.[1] We did Divinity first, but I don’t remember much because I was mostly asleep.[2] Then we did Mathematics. Professor Specht[3] doesn’t like how I do multiplication. He wants me to do it like HRH, but his way doesn’t make sense even though he always has the right answer. Then we did Latin. The ancient Romans were interesting and did lots of exciting things, but I wish they had done it in Liennese and made it less confusing. I suggested to Professor Ebner that we do Latin practice by pretending to be gladiators outdoors, but he didn’t like that idea. Then we had lunch. Then we had more lessons, but they are also boring and I don’t want to write about them. After lessons HRH wanted to read, so I went for a walk in the park.[4] I am trying to see how far I can go before anyone notices. I think I was there for a few hours. Lord Protzmann[5] found me and said that I should know better than to disappear like that. So it was partly successful. It was too late to practice violin.
I had dinner with HRH and Mikaiah and Her Royal Highness Ateva. Her Royal Highness Ayra had to eat with the King.[6] She sneaked some of their caviare and brought it back for us to try.[7] It was strange. I wasn’t going to write tonight, but Lord Protzmann said I should.[8] So I am writing now.
When they pay me next week,[9] may I have a viertelmyunze[10] from it? I have had nothing for weeks whenever the shopkeepers come to visit.[11]
Yours sincerely
Tamett
P.S.: And please send my other handball from home. I lost the one I had.
P. P. S.: I asked Lord Protzmann about coming home at Easter[12] and he said he would talk to the king.
[1] Professor Ebner: Helmold Ebner, primary tutor to Prince Josiah, taught the traditional classical subjects. He was among the foremost scholars at the University of Wissenberg when he was engaged by Odren VII in 1902 to teach his son. The arrangement proved successful, with Ebner remaining with the Prince until the latter’s departure for Hollingham College in 1908. Ebner wrote to his brother in 1903, “While I admit that initially my expectations in teaching such a young pupil—a new experience indeed for me—were less than optimistic, I have found His Royal Highness to have the gravity and diligence of a young man thrice his age, and I would not exchange my young scholar for any graduate student at Wissenberg. He is a joy to teach and the pride of my academic career” (Collected Letters of Helmold Ebner, vol. 3, pp. 336-37). References to Tamett Lockridge appear surprisingly seldom among Ebner’s correspondence, with the most notable remark being his lament to a former colleague that “the Norriberrian child cannot understand simple concepts that His Royal Highness grasps immediately, while certain more difficult things that I take care to fully explain he claims to grasp from the start and yawns through the lesson” (Ibid. p. 429).
[2] mostly asleep: Multiple memoranda from Prince Josiah to his father complaining of his companion’s distracting tendency to snore during some lessons substantiate this remark.
[3] Professor Specht: Xaver Specht, mathematics tutor to Prince Josiah, was a professor at Wissenberg for only five years before winning the Höchste Award for Mathematical Achievement in 1902 for his monograph “Confronting the Monster Infinity.” He initially declined Odren’s request to teach the Prince, preferring to concentrate on research, but Odren’s promised compensation proved too profitable an opportunity to pass up. Specht was a notably private man but is known to have once claimed, “Most days, I need not teach His Royal Highness. He was born with mathematics written on his lips and heart” (Kalb, Xaver Specht: A Unique Mind, p. 284).
[4] the park: The park on the grounds of Königshaus Palace is famous for its great extent, nearly twenty miles at its widest point. Its attractions include the royal herd of deer, the Buchenwald (Beech Forest), and the magnificent statue of Odren (I) the Great, erected in 1858 by Odren VI to commemorate the four hundredth anniversary of Lienne’s conquest of Norriber.
[5] Lord Protzmann: Lord Protzmann, the head of the household of the royal children of Lienne, was appointed to that rank in 1885 and would continue in that role until his dismissal in 1910 after an embezzlement scandal. His duties included overseeing the daily affairs of the royal children’s domestic staff, managing accounts, and supervising such employees as the companion Tamett Lockridge and the princesses’ lady’s-maid, Sarra Gilsbrecht. Correspondence and diaries of the royal children indicate that they typically referred to Protzmann behind his back as Protz; it is likely that Tamett did also, but in a letter to his family which Protzmann could have easily intercepted, he is employing caution.
[6] Ayra had to eat with the King: By December 1902, after the death of Queen Nyella, Princess Ayra was expected to attend meals with her father in place of a consort whenever female guests were present. Lady Erna Rademacher, who often dined with the royal family, commented in later life that the princess was “so studiously courteous that to interact with her resembled a lesson in etiquette. She was always correct but lacked the spontaneous warmth more natural to her sister” (Forty-Seven Years at the Liennese Court, pp. 251-52).
[7] some of their caviare […] for us to try: The royal children’s household accounts indicate that the princes and princesses typically dined quite lavishly, in a style resembling that of their parents and the rest of the court. Even so, such dishes as caviar would have been off-limits.
[8] Lord Protzmann said I should: Lord Protzmann regularly corresponded with Edvin and Elina Lockridge about their son’s welfare and behavior and also kept track of the boy’s communication with his family.
[9] they pay me next week: Tamett Lockridge was paid 100 myunzen per mensem (worth approximately $5,300 today), the bulk of which went to his parents, although the rest was put in savings for his future, with a small allowance for him.              
[10] viertelmyunze: The myunze (plural: myunzen) is the chief unit of Liennese currency, worth approximately $53 dollars in 1908. A viertelmyunze was worth a quarter of a myunze ($13.25), while a halbemyunze was worth half ($26.50).
[11] the shopkeepers come to visit: Since it was not considered proper or feasible for the royal family to attend shops, certain prestigious merchants in Königsstadt were permitted by appointment to bring a selection of their wares and their catalog to the palace for the royal family to examine and purchase at will.
[12] coming home at Easter: Tamett’s last documented visit to his family had been at Christmas 1907.
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grantmentis · 1 year
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Lovisa Berndtsson talks about getting her first PHF win and doing so in front of her mother
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aallotarenunelma · 1 year
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Meet my MC/OC
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Full name: Riikka Lovisa Yläkorpi
Date of birth: February 18th, 1999
Orientation: Demigreyromantic - demigreysexual
Height: 163 cm / 5'4
Family: • Anneli Yläkorpi, née Vainonen. Finnish-American since many generations. Born in Astoria, Oregon. (mother)
• Elias Yläkorpi, born in Porvoo/Borgå, Finland from an Asian-American mother (unknown Asian origins) and a Finnish father whose grandmother was a Finn-Swede (a Finn whose native tongue is Swedish). (father)
Nationality: Finnish-American
Hometown: Born in Helsinki, Finland. Moved to Westchester, Oregon at 2 years old. Moved to her current neighbourhood at 4 years old.
Friends: Dan Pierce, Stacy Green, Ash Clark, Lily Ortiz, Ava Cunningham, Noah Marshall, Andy Kang, Lucas Thomas, Jane Marshall. || From other timelines: Siiri Karvola, Hilkka Noronen, Pilvi Vance and Kanerva Leinola.
Love Interest: Daniel "Dan" Pierce
Nicknames: Kulta (parents); Riksa (parents and friends); Riiks (Dan); Apina/Monkey (Dan)
Personality traits: optimistic, ambivert, witty, sensitive, extremely brave, strong, loyal, caring, kindhearted, non-judgemental, open-minded, reasonably competitive, honest to a fault, sarcastic.
Likes: animals, hugs, the writing club, travelling, cooking/baking, talking about Finland and Finnish culture, salmiakki, spring, the yellow colour, raspberries, tea, apple juice, sewing, her family, spending time with her friends and Dan.
Dislikes: can't tolerate nor excuse cruelty and any form of abuse; peanuts; mascara; rutabagas.
Random facts:
Met Dan at 4 and they immediately became friends. He is her favourite person in the world.
Severely allergic to peanuts, she almost passed away at 4 due to anaphylaxis.
She's an only child but would have loved to have siblings. Considers Ash as her big brother.
Used to be close to Jane but their friendship has been falling apart the more they've been growing up, due to Jane's controlling behaviour.
Believes that time is an illusion; it can be stretched and timelines exist and can merge.
Quality time is her love language.
Speaks Finnish and English. Learns Spanish at school. Her paternal grandfather and her father are teaching her some Swedish.
In Joy and Sorrow (AU) series masterlist
Darker Than Night series masterlist
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Written for @choicesficwriterscreations 's my MC / OC database.
Perma Tags: @inlocusmads @peonierose
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artemiseamoon · 2 years
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WereBear Bjorn Moodboard + story sneak peak
Read here (fic completed)
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He looks so cuddly 😭
Warnings: language, sexual energy
Preview of Milk & Honey
“There’s no time to ease you into this. Not anymore. You are unclaimed. I knew it was a risk, others like me being drawn to you. I didn’t think it would happen this fast.” Bjorn pauses and looks outside, scanning the landscape with his eyes, “you need to stay inside.”
Lovisa raises her brows, “unclaimed? Your kind? What are you talking about?”
“The bear in the woods. It's here for you.”
At a loss for words, Lovisa stared wildly at the large man by her doorway. Bjorn eclipsed the thing. “What? Why?”
“You need to know what I am. I'm part bear.” Bjorn’s serious expression remains unchanged.
“I don’t understand what you’re telling me Bjorn. It doesn’t make any sense.” Lovisa walks a little closer to him. “I don’t even know who you are!” She speaks with her hands, becoming more animated. “Now you tell me there’s a freaking bear stalking the cabin? And, and you are some kind of - shifter, bear - man thing?”
Bjorn inches closer, then stops. He wants to be as close to her as possible, to have her in his arms. But he can’t, not yet. The bear inside of him is clawing to the surface, his human side is slowly losing the battle of control.
Everything falls silent for a moment, Bjorn can hear her racing heartbeat and she notices the way his pupils dilate as his eyes stay fixed on hers.
“I told you, you are my mate.” Bjorn grabs her left shoulder and grips it, Lovisa’s eyes fall to his hand, observing how large it is over her shoulder. The physical contact stirs up a new set of emotions in her body. “You feel it too. It scares you.”
Lovisa keeps her gaze on his hand, avoiding his eyes. She swallows and closes her eyes. The donuts she ate before he showed up were delicious going down but now they sat in her gut, unsettled, undigested.
Everything about Bjorn confuses her. Every interaction; the market, the bar, on the road. He was like a shadow she couldn’t lose and though she was a healthy amount of suspicious, she couldn’t deny she did feel it too, whatever it is. Like a magnetic force between their bodies drawing them closer and closer even thought she had no fucking idea what was going on, or what he was talking about.
“I feel like I’m going crazy.” She muttered under her breath. Opening her eyes, she continues to watch his hand as he slowly slides it down her upper arm. The simple gesture creates a spark of electricity and the ill feeling she was experincing just a second ago is replaced by hot desire and longing for more physical touch.
Bjorns slow gaze moves from her eyes to her lips, they linger there a moment before landing on her breasts. He watches as her chest rises and falls, the low cut shirt she’s wearing teasing her cleavage. Bjorn imagines burying his face in her breasts, tasting her skin on his tongue, hearing her moan as he explored the most tender and juiciest parts of her.
The air in the room heats up. Bjorn continues to slide his large hand down, over her skin.
Soft. So soft. The bear in him pushes harder, clawing, needing to be released. Bjorn didn't have a lot of softness in his life. Even his own hands were hardened from all the craftsmanship and building he’s done his whole life. Lovisa is so soft beneath his calloused fingers, so - delicate. His mind begins to wonder, imagining what the rest of her feels like.
A layer of sweat beads on her forehead as Bjorn touches her bare skin. She feels herself losing the battle of denial.
I don’t desire him. I don’t desire him.
I don’t even know him. He’s a stranger. A stranger who won’t leave me alone and calling himself a Werebear. A stranger that’s not even my type anyway.
When Bjorn brings his large hand to her throat, Lovisa holds her breath. Bjorn admires the contours of her neck before gently resting his hand there. Lovisa lowered her gaze, feeling slightly dizzy. His hand is so much larger, eclisping her neck with ease.
Blinking twice, Lovisa takes a big breath and steps away from Bjorn in an effort to regain self-control. She lifts his hand from her throat and releases it before taking another step back.
The broken contact leaves a dull empty feeling in both of them. Despite wanting to be closer to him, she steps back and crosses her arms, blocking her body from his. The further she moves from him, the more the desire to be closer increases.
“I don’t - '' she sighs in frustration, “how?? I’m human. How could it be me? What if you just got your signals crossed? What if your mate is a werebear out there in those woods or mountains somewhere?” She exhales dramatically and takes another step back. “Besides, you look pretty human to me so - you know, not saying you’re lying just -”
Bjorn grunts in response. The bear inside is coming closer to the surface. His patience wears thin. His blue eyes turn black as his jaw tenses. In less than a second, Bjorn seems to grow wider and taller before her eyes.
Pressing his lips in a tight line, Bjorn turns himself toward the door with heavy steps.
“Stay inside,” he barks, “the second prints belong to another Werebear.”
Lovisa’s eyes grow wider, “did I just hear that correctly?”
Bjorn rests a hand against the doorframe and lowers his head. Rubbing his face with his free hand, he takes a moment to breathe through his growing frustration. Behind him, Lovisa stares at his wide back.
“I don’t have time to keep explaining this to you,” he says between gritted teeth, “stay put. I will find him and beat him.”
As Bjorn straightens up and lets go of the door frame, Lovisa moves closer to him.
She shakes her head, “so is this some …battle for mating thing? Is this actually happening?”
Bjorn starts to reply but all that comes out of him is a deep growl, a growl that sends a chill down her spine. With a wrinkled nose, Bjorn rushes to the nearby window, nealy hanging out of it as he searches for something in the darkened woods. The moon is now hidden behind clouds, leaving very little light in the sky. Lovisa hovers behind him, trying to follow his line of sight but it all looks dark to her.
A low rumble rises from Bjorns gut. The sound of wood breaking brings Lovisa’s eyes to the window seal where his hand is, he’s clenching it so hard it's breaking under the pressure. Just as she’s about to look away, Bjorn’s finger nails grow long and sharp, brown hairs rise from the white skin of his hand. Lovisa backs away, unable to speak.
Bjorn steps back from the window as his body expands and grows, dark hair covering his pale skin. He transforms before her eyes as his clothes turn into shreds and fall away from his body. Frozen in place, Lovisa watches, her jaw drops.
Bjorn’s 6’2 stature is enlarged now; wider, bigger, thicker. His humanoid-bear form is at least 7 foot, a bear head atop a strong humanoid body covered in dark brown hair. His hands are now replaced by large claws…
*Coming soon. I’m focusing on wrapping up 3 wips atm. So this will debut in early-mid July 💕 I’ll most likely drop chapter 1 around the 2nd or 3rd week of the month. Chapters 1 - 3 are pretty much done, but I will read through and edit them once more before posting. This is planned as a 5 part story. If you want to be tagged, just ask below. *
Meet my OC Lovisa
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Story notes below
Summary: After two months of writer's block, Lovisa leaves the city and books a cabin getaway to clear her mind and focus on her novel. Her relaxing trip in nature takes a turn when she captures the attention of a reclusive, mate-less Werebear.
Warnings: angsty feels, violence, mentions of fights/ werebears fighting eachother, heat/ arousal cycles, injuries, sexual content. Not sure yet, but may contain vague (to mild) monsterf*ching at some point. _ Adult 18 + account and work! No minors. Do not engage.
More story info:
Fc for OFC is Sabina Karlsson (Swedish-Gambian model, 34 yrs old)
This is a Modern (supernatural) Bjorn . If you want canon Bjorn, this is not the fic for you, I made my own Bjorn with some canon elements.
Fic info / read it here ⬅️
More Bjorn
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bitchinbarzal · 10 months
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I’m bored with no race this week so I have some more Peterson/f1 stuff
Astrid & Kasper and Oskar & Lovisa are a PR dream!! Like Red Bull videos almost always include at least one of the Petterssons. There was a video a few years back of a red bull hockey game with Danny and Max (I think) and they’d do stuff like that - the kids of hockey star Elias Pettersson versus their drivers in a game (A&O sneak elias in undercover as a mechanic or something to play on their team but he defects)
The sappy I’m so proud of you posts after one of them wins or does well, the crumbs the fans get fed throughout summer & winter break of them hanging around as a family, the radio messages and bashful smiles when talking about their so in any situation. Like they’re just so fucking cute & everyone loves them
-🏎️
I love this AU so much!!!!
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fantasycorrupted · 2 years
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No matter how much you deny it, Sergio is a criminal. You make a mockery of the badge by even pretending to be in love with him. Your loyalty is divided between your duty and your fear of loneliness. How long will you keep pretending to be what you aren't? He'll just leave you burned just like your sister. No matter what good you do for the hoodlum, you will never atone for your mistakes in regards to Alberta. Move on from him before you really regret it.
Destroy My Muse On Anon.
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“I never denied that Sergio was a criminal. Ever. I know who he is. I’m not a good person, either.” She is. But Lovisa shrugs and throws her arms out regardless, with a gesture that suggests cold indifference. Then she laughs. A cold, mirthless laugh that as if comes from the darkest corner of her heart. “All those words. And you think they’ll make me afraid? Lay off, honey.”
“You are far from the first person who talks shit about me as a sister, or about me as a cop. But you know what? It’s people like you who are the problem. And it’s words like yours that made the rift between me and Alberta as big as it is now. And besides... What the hell do you know about her? And what makes you think that’s any of your fucking miserable business?” she hissed.
“Leave, before you get burned. My patience does not last forever. Do not test it.”
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darklordofthesimp · 1 year
Note
LETS TALK ABOUT YOUR RINGS!!! THEY WERE SO PRETTY 🥹🥰🥰🥰
THEYRE JUST FROM LOVISA CHEAP AS CHIPPIES!!
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mydarllinglover · 10 days
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Stars Collided || Twelve
Previous
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The two had returned in the early hours of the next day.
Lovisa hadn’t done anything but sit around and wait for them, she couldn’t even sleep, and refused, where Beru had offered her a bed.
The Princess’s chest ached, as she watched Anakin carry his mothers body, towards the farm, and without saying anything to his new family, he continued, into their home.
"Snips." Lovisa looked at her friend, who seemed deeply troubled, she was breathing heavy too, and her hands slightly shook. "What happened?"
"Lovey." Ahsoka grabbed hold of her wrist, and pulled her away from the three, so that they could talk in private.
"What happened back there?" Lovisa asked, once again, now that they were alone.
"Vis, it was horrible, no child should have to see their parent like that, like she was. She was still alive, when we got there, but, oh, god, it was bad, so, so bad, she had been suffering for so long, tied up to some rack. Then she… she died in his arms."
"Fuck." The princess cursed, completely taken back, as she clutched her chest.
"That's not all, after she died, something in him just sort of snapped, I couldn't break him out of it, I couldn't, I tried, Lovey, but I failed."
"What? What did he do?" Lovisa asked, growing even more worried.
"You should ask him, yourself, I can't repeat it." Ahsoka then walked away from her, shaking her head.
They had held a small funeral for Shmi Skywalker, Anakin had been the one to dig his mothers grave, and bury her beneath.
Lovisa and Ahsoka had stood by the side, as her family surrounded her.
"You were the love of my life." Cliegg spoke. "Kind, gentle, and generous, to anyone who needed it, no matter what situation was going on in your own life, you taught me to be a better person, and my biggest regret is not having enough time with you."
Anakin had requested some time alone with his mother, and they had all granted it to him.
But eventually, Lovisa had decided she’d given him enough space, and it was time to get answers.
She had found him in one of the farms workshops, he was stood at a work bench, messing around with some parts, fixing them, she realised.
"Life seems so much more simple, when you're fixing things." He said, his voice came out harsh, as he held back all his emotions, his throat was dry, as well, from the desert sand.
"Anakin..." Lovisa started. "What happened back there?"
Anakin kept his head down, as he continued to work on some sort of charm.
"Ani" She sighed, taking a step closer to him. "Whatever it was, Ahsoka seemed really troubled by it. Whatever happened, you can tell me. Please, please tell me."
Her heart beat loudly, as she waited for a reply, she slightly chewed on her lip.
"I told her not to come, but she didn't listen."
"I asked her to go with you." Lovisa replied.
"You shouldn't have done that." He glared at the girl.
"I just want to understand." She laid a hand on his shoulder.
He took a deep breath, before seeming to change his mind about calming down, turning on her, sharply.
"I killed them." He snapped at her. "I killed them all. Not just the men, but the women, and the children, too, I slaughtered them!" His voice rose, as did his anger, at the memory of last night. "They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals, every single one of them. I hate them!"
Lovisa gasped at what he had admitted, what he confessed to her.
"They tortured her, for a month, she suffered and I couldn't help her, they wouldn't let me go to her! They're jealous of me, the council and Obi-Wan, they're jealous of me, and they're holding me back, I could have prevented it, but they wouldn't allow it, made out that I was the weak one, but If I had done something, she'd still be alive. I'm stronger and more powerful, than them, and they can't stand it."
Lovisa had nothing to say to him, she couldn't offer anything, she stared at him in pure shock.
"She's dead, my mother is dead, and I didn't help her." His anger had changed into sadness, as tears pulled from his eyes. "She's gone, she's gone forever, and I'm never going to see her again." He wept.
In his anger, Anakin had stepped closer to the girl, and now, as he allowed his grief to consume him, he fell into her arms, dropping his head onto her shoulder, as he continued to cry for his mother.
Lovisa wrapped her arms around him, offering him comfort that he soar out from her.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, as she soothingly played with it.
"It's okay." She whispered to him. "It's okay, she's at peace now, she's not suffering anymore, it's okay."
Anakin hadn’t been able to pull himself together, for some time, and Lovisa had held him, her fingers rubbing his scalp, as she rubbed his back, saying soothing things, into his ear, until eventually he rose to his full height, and was able to carry on with life, as if any of it hadn’t happened.
The three had decided that they would need to return back to Naboo, and to the Lake district, seemingly as their chapter had been wrapped up here, and there was still a threat looming over the princess's head.
Lovisa sat between her two friends, no one would say anything, but the tension was thick.
"We need to stop, for the night." Ahsoka decided, suppressing a yawn.
"No, we'll keep going." Anakin refused, as he fought to keep his eyes open.
"We haven't slept in almost four days, Skywalker, you've drifted asleep enough times to know we should stop, and Lovisa can barely keep her head up."
"She's fine, she can sleep if she wants to." Anakin rolled his eyes, as he kept the arm that the girl was currently leaning on, still.
"We're stopping." Ahsoka pushed.
"It's more important that we get back."
"We're stopping?" Lovisa shot up, seeming alert, at the prospect of sleeping in an actual bed.
"Yes."
"No."
"Look, there's an Inn, over there, at least until sunrise, we all could use it, even the pups."
"Yes, we'll stay at the Inn, for the remaining of the night, it will do us all some good." Lovisa decided.
"Vis-" Anakin went to refuse, but when he looked at her, he knew he couldn't. "Fine, but as soon as the sun is up, we're gone."
Upon seeing the three teenagers, the innkeeper, a plump elderly woman, had given them two bedrooms, one for the boy, and one for the two girls, as she had told them that it was improper for the three of them to share, and so they had no choice but to accept the keys, as they hid their puppies under their cloaks.
"Did you talk to Skywalker?" Ahsoka had asked, as the two laid in bed, together, facing one another.
"I did." Lovisa admitted.
"And?"
"He told me what happened." She sighed.
"What, and that's all you have to say about it?"
"What else am I supposed to say, Snips?"
"Lovey, he killed an whole village of people, I watched him do it, there were innocent people there."
"You didn't seem to have a problem with it, when he dealt with those men in the forest."
"Because it was a completely different situation. They were trying to kidnap you, and they weren't children."
"They killed his mother, kept her alive enough to torture her, and then she died in his arms. And Cliegg said himself that they were barely human, but monsters."
"But the whole village? Not all of them could be."
"I trust Anakin, he did what he thought was right."
"He did it for revenge." Ahsoka cut her off.
"Were they really innocent if they were there, they would have just grown up to their surroundings, done it to others, others who are innocent, no one deserves to go through what Shmi did, it could happen to you, or me, or anyone. Anakin would never kill someone who didn't deserve it."
"He's a Jedi, Lovisa, it's against the code to kill an unarmed person."
"He will never do something like this, again, I promise you, Ahsoka, he's a good person. He's the chosen one."
"Look, I like him, Lovey, I do, but can we really trust him?"
"We can, he would never do anything to harm us, God picked him, for a reason, and he wouldn't make a mistake, like that. We have to keep this to ourselves, and pretend it never happened, he did the world an favour by getting rid of such evil creatures."
"You really believe that?"
"I do."
"Then I guess I can convince myself of that, too." Ahsoka looked down, as she chewed on her lip, deep in thought.
Lovisa sat up, lifting the duvet off of her.
"I should go check on him." She thought out loud.
Ahsoka didn't reply, instead, turning around on her other side, her back facing the princess.
Lovisa took this as a good response, to leave.
She stood in front of the door to his room, for the night, in just a pale blue silk night gown, thinking about what she was going to say to him.
She forced herself to knock on the wood, before thinking about it, and as she begun to regret her decision, and call herself all sorts of insults, it opened.
There he stood, he wasn't wearing an item of clothing on his top half, and was in his black trousers, like always.
Lovisa felt her cheeks grow red, as she pried her eyes off of his chest, and looked up at his face, his hair hung in front of his eyes, as he looked down at her, leaning his forearm on the door frame.
"Vis?" He asked.
She blinked. Twice.
"Anakin." She said, she couldn't think of anything else.
"What are you doing, here?" he studied her. “Awake.”
Lovisa swallowed, before taking a breath, then remembered why she did come here.
"I wanted to check up on you, make sure you're doing okay." She told him. "Are you doing okay?"
He looked past her, not having an answer.
"I am not sure." He replied, honestly.
"Would it help if I kept you company?" Lovisa found herself saying.
"You wanna come in?" He furrowed his brows.
"If you'll allow me."
He nodded, his eyes on the floor.
"I'd like that." Anakin looked at her, as his eyes swam with emotion.
She smiled at him, a kind, comforting smile.
Next
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monstrousfire · 2 years
Text
okay, I finished Winterkeep a few weeks ago, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk about it since. note, I’m gonna talk a good bit about my messed up childhood in this post, so if that’s not for you, feel free to keep scrolling.
I don’t know anyone else who’s read it, so I feel a little as if I’m talking to myself on this topic, but that’s okay. I want to have this here so I can refer back to how I was feeling about this book when I had just read it, which is mostly complicated and difficult but in a way that reminds me of healing.
first, I want to talk about Bitterblue’s role in this book. This is the first Cashore book I’ve read where a previous character plays a significant role in the story- I don’t remember much of Giddon in Bitterblue (I might just be forgetting), and Fire and Katsa are only mentioned so so briefly in that book to my memory at all. In Winterkeep, Bitterblue and Giddon are both there, and “Old King Nash” gets a shout-out that broke my heart, but it’s several chapters before Lovisa seems to actually matter to the story at all. That’s okay. I trust Cashore to make the story work.
But Bitterblue is there throughout the story, Giddon too. And I think the thing that I keep circling back on, like a dog who’s scared someone’s dug up her bone while she was away, is that Lovisa is like a mirror to Bitterblue of the time after Leck died. Because Bitterblue has already done this. Sure, her parents weren’t both there to hurt her, and Lovisa isn’t next in line for a monarchy, but. How much did Bitterblue look at Lovisa and see herself, hurting and afraid and lost? Did that hurt her? How did she find the strength to help Lovisa instead of getting lost in her grief?
I myself can barely look at Lovisa, even in my head. Due to my own nonsense childhood, I feel like I understand Lovisa’s habits on an almost uncomfortable level. It happens far less now, but I used to go out of my way to keep people from knowing how much I knew, to keep people from knowing all my secrets. I hid food because my mom hated the shape of my body and tried to limit what I ate, and I snuck around and stayed up all night to revel in the hours she was asleep. I found hiding places that took her years to uncover, and hid things that were important to me in case she decided to destroy my belongings.
Knowing all of this, and given the distance and scope I’ve learned to have from years of therapy, I can talk about it here without spiraling. But also, Lovisa isn’t there yet, and it’s terrifying. She’s still caught in the loop of trying to protect her little siblings like I did, trying to get enough information to be able to protect herself and them that way, trying to find a path out of the pain that will hurt the least and work the best.
Instead, her life explodes, quite literally. Everything she owned, gone. Both her parents, gone, and her father sitting there begging her to recast him in her mind as the good guy, to save him from his own poor decisions. Granted, my father was a very steady man, and good to me and my siblings, and my life as a child would have been immeasurably worse if he resembled Benni in the slightest. But.
I understand this book too well. I understand Lovisa’s shock, her pain, her confusion and painful longing for a way out. I understand her jealousy of Mari, the way she almost but not quite hates him for having been born into a life where both parents love him and genuinely try to be good parents to him, where they love each other and are kind because of it. I even understand the way that Lovisa doesn’t understand sex or sexual desire, though whether that’s her being asexual, or just sixteen, I couldn’t say. I understand the risks she takes in the interest of finding something to keep her afloat.
There’s more parts to this book than I have talked about here. There’s Nev, the exploding zilfium, the pig called Mercy, Nev’s kind and gentle family, Bitterblue. Giddon. Both of them loving each other, Giddon steady enough for Bitterblue to lean on his strength and be a good and kind queen. Their love story was captivating. Not even to mention the Kraken, and the silbercows, and their role in the book!
But it all pales in comparison to the shock, the quiet agony, of seeing my own little self sketched out on a page and re-named Lovisa. Her pain, her struggle- it’s too familiar.
I love this book. I’m glad I own it. I think it will be years before I can read it again.
14 notes · View notes
isfjmel-phleg · 2 years
Text
A Selection of Letters Related to Tamett Lockridge, 1903
I do not have a story for Tamett’s birthday. Not exactly. I had intended to write Tamett and Josiah’s first meeting, but there were a lot of POV and pacing and general having-a-point-ness issues with that one that will require far more time to fix. Instead, this is another set of annotated letters, this time with 100% less plot. Nothing happens. It just sort of ends. It’s more character-related nonsense than anything else (which is the only reason I could finish it). 
Tumblr doesn’t have the best option for formatting footnotes, sorry; if you are comfortable with my emailing you a Word document, which will be easier to read, please message me.
This is set when Tamett is seven (nearly eight) and has just been hired as Josiah’s companion.
I. Tamett Lockridge to his family
23 January 1903
Dear Papa, Mama, Emenor, Lovisa, and Cille,[1]
how are you? I am well. I am at the palace now. It is as big as ten of our house.[2] It has to be big because lots and lots of people live here.[3] I don’t have to see most of them, and I like that.
I have my own room.[4] It has a long window with bars[5] and a box thing on the wall that rings when they want me.[6] It doesn’t anymore because I opened it up and took out the bell. I can use it on my bicycle.[7]
Uncle Tamett says hello. He lives here now but I don’t know where.[8] The food is good[9] and I do lots of lessons.[10] I haven’t seen the King again.[11] Everyone wears black but I don’t have to, so ha.[12]
Your loving son
Tamett
PS: His Royal Highness is a beast and I don’t want to stay here anymore.[13]
II. Elina Lockridge to her son Tamett
30 January 1903
My dear Tamett,
I hope you are doing well and being good for Lord Protzmann. Your uncle Tamett says he is the one looking after you. [14] Is there anyone else taking care of you? His Royal Highness’s governess, perhaps?[15]
The palace sounds very grand indeed, and we’re proud of you for getting the chance to live there. Ask your uncle the next time you see him to take a photograph of you in your new room. We would love to see it.[16] I hope you’re remembering to make your bed, the way I showed you, and tidy up at the end of the day. We don’t want the palace staff to think that we live like pigs here in Norriber![17] I know you will do your best to represent us well. Yes, the bars on the window are not like home, but they’re there to keep you safe.[18] However, I am displeased that you took apart something that doesn’t belong to you. The annunciator (that’s what that box is called) may be in your room, but it is the property of the palace, and to take anything out of it is stealing. Do not use that bell on your bicycle. You need to put it back immediately and tell Lord Protzmann what you did so he can have the annunciator properly repaired.[19] Without the bell, His Royal Highness can’t let you know when he needs you, and that is your responsibility, to be there when he calls.[20] It will make him very sad if his companion doesn’t want to keep him company.
He is probably already very sad.[21] We talked before you left about how the Queen went to heaven last month, so everyone is in mourning right now. The Queen was his mama, and he must miss her a great deal. Wouldn’t you be sad too? I need you to remember how he must feel and be thoughtful.[22] He might not be ready yet to play anything too noisy with you, but he will in time. Just be patient. I know you can. However, we do not show patience by calling someone “a beast.” I’m sure His Royal Highness is a perfectly nice little boy.[23]
Your uncle Tamett says he’s been busy, but he’ll try to come and see you at least once a week.[24] Please give him our love. We miss you so much, but we know that you’re where you ought to be and we hope to see you again soon. Don’t forget to brush your teeth and comb your hair. I love you. Your papa and sisters send their love too.
Your loving 
Mama
III. Emenor Lockridge to her brother Tamett
30 January 1903
Dear Tam,
Come back home right now because I miss you so much and it’s not the same without you[25] and your chair at the table without you in it makes me wants to cry every time I look at it and Lovisa and I tried to go sledding yesterday but we fell into the snow because you weren’t there to steer it right[26] and now I won’t sled at all without you and Lovi is cross because she wants to anyway but I said no and went upstairs to practice[27] and then my violin sounded sad too because it misses you almost as much as I do so I made up a piece called I Miss Tamett And The Prince Can’t Have Him[28] and I am so sooo SOOOOOOOO cross with the Prince because he’s beastly to you and I want to go there and tell him he’s horrid and needs to be nice to you and if he won’t I’ll slap him.[29] We had sponge cake at dinner. It was nice. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you a million times, so lots of love and hugs from 
Your sister
Emenor Klariesa Lockridge
XXXXXXXXXX
IV. Tamett to Emenor
3 February 1903
Dear Em,
How are you? I am well. I wish you were here too. Lessons are boring and the tutors say I’m bad at them.[30] They gave me a violin.[31] It sounds like a chicken squawking. His Royal Highness doesn’t like it. He plays too but he’s not as good as you are. I told him that and he said that’s a lie and he plays much better than any girl. Then I went back to my room.
I found a bug. It looks like a cricket but I don’t know. I put it in my desk drawer for later.[32] Do you want one?[33] I think there are more.
Your brother
Tamett
V. Lord Protzmann to Tamett’s parents
4 February 1903
Dear Mr and Mrs Lockridge, 
Here in the King’s household, we do not take correspondence lightly. We carefully monitor incoming letters to ensure that they pose no danger and cause no distress to the royal family, particularly during this period of mourning.[34] This caution extends not only to the royal family but to those close to them, in positions in which the slightest unseemly mindset can have detrimental effects on the exalted personages whom they serve. As companion to His Royal Highness the Crown Prince Josiah, your son Tamett is among those whose correspondence we examine, and a few recent letters have given us cause for concern.
A letter of yours of the 23rd of January contains a passage in which you heavily imply that your son has referred to His Royal Highness by the childish but opprobrious epithet of “beast.” You rightly reprimanded him for this, but it would seem that your son’s original letter containing the offensive word escaped our notice.[35] Otherwise it would never have been allowed to reach you. 
I apologize for this oversight and commend you for your response, but a letter from your daughter Emenor of the 30th of January has caused us of the royal household especial alarm and displeasure. In this letter to your son, she explicitly expresses a wish to commit violence against His Royal Highness. I shall charitably assume that this letter escaped your notice as your son’s did ours, for surely you would not have permitted her to send such a letter had you known what atrocities it contained.[36]
I advise you in future to take the utmost care in monitoring your family’s correspondence with Tamett, as we shall with his to you. Since this is the first offense, it will not be reported to the King, but repeated failure to resolve this problem will require intervention from my superiors. We appreciate your son’s presence in the royal household, and it would certainly be a shame if he had to leave us abruptly.[37]
The royal household extends its best wishes for your health and happiness. Dominion for Lienne![38]
Cordially yours
Lord Protzmann
Steward of the Household of His Majesty’s Children
VI. Tamett to his family
5 February 1903
Dear Papa, Mama, Emenor, Lovisa, and Cille,
I am sorry I wrote bad things in my last letter. I did not mean them. I won’t do it again. I like it here at the palace and everyone is nice. Lord Protzmann says I am very grateful.
Someone said we’re going to learn how to ride soon.[39] I will like that. I have six crickets now in my desk drawer.[40] It was sunny yesterday and we went outdoors. I saw a deer in the park and a dead bird. It was fun. The royal family has a baby. It’s a boy and his name is Miki.[41] He tried to pull my finger off. When are we getting our baby?[42] How are you? I am well. I’m sorry. I forgot to say it at the beginning.
Your loving son
Tamett
VII. Edvin Lockridge to his son Tamett
7 February 1903
Dear Tamett,
We received a letter from Lord Protzmann about your recent letter, and I know he must have already spoken to you, but I wanted to further remind you that we will not put up with any bad behavior from you. You are the representative of Norriber to His Royal Highness (as I hope to represent our region someday), [43] and everything you do reflects on us. He must not think that Norriber is rebellious and unkind but cooperative and pleasant.[44]  Even if you never criticize him to his face, the thoughts are still there, and they will come out in how you behave, without your meaning them to.
Please, son, make a friend of His Royal Highness. Perhaps you got off on the wrong foot, but it’s not too late. Find something that you have in common. Do something amusing together. Commiserate with him in his grief.[45] There are dozens of ways you can appeal to him. Remember, the royal household has engaged you as his companion, meaning that he wants you to be there. He is looking for a friend, whatever your first impressions may have been. Don’t take that away from him. It’s the best thing for him and for all of us. We’re counting on you, and so is he.
Note the new stamp on the envelope![46] I thought you would like it. Take care of yourself.
Your affectionate
Father
VIII. Emenor to Tamett
8 February 1903
Dear Tam,
[Extensive illegible crossed-out passage.][47]
I mean I wish I were there so I could hear your chicken violin and laugh and laugh. I’m learning “To Engella”[48] now. What are you playing? How long has His Royal Highness been playing?[49] Tell him I started violin when I was six.
[Extensive illegible crossed-out passage.][50]
Mama says that I might be a companion too. Except I won’t go to the palace, just to Aunt Klariesa.[51] I don’t want to go. She says my practicing gives her a headache and little girls shouldn’t whistle. But Papa says she will pay us if I go. I want to buy new music with my pocket money when I get it,[52] and I will whistle it whenever I see Aunt Klariesa. Why don’t nice people want companions?
I hope they let you come home for your birthday. If I have to miss you any more I will fall to pieces. Lots of love and hugs from
Your favorite sister
Emenor not-Klariesa Lockridge
IX. Crown Prince Josiah of Lienne to his father King Odren VII
18 February 1903
Dear Papa,
I hope you are well. I hope you will come to breakfast soon. It has been six days, seven hours, and forty-one minutes since last time.[53] But it will be even longer when you read this.
I do not want a companion.[54] He is not useful. My tutors say his schoolwork is shameful. I do not think he knows anything at all. He is not helping me because he distracts me from lessons with his ignorance.[55] He is not my friend, and I do not want him here. I do not need him. I will be very unhappy if you do not send him away. And I am already very unhappy. You know why.[56]
Please come to see me again. We can discuss this matter of business more.
Your obedient son
Josiah
X. Oswin Fertig, secretary to Odren VII, to Josiah
19 February 1903
To His Royal Highness the Crown Prince Josiah
His Majesty’s business is of such great magnitude that he cannot possibly spare time for every trifling letter that crosses his desk.[57] If Your Royal Highness has a concern about matters related to the royal household, you may address this concern to Lord Protzmann. Your Royal Highness is well aware of the protocol.[58] Furthermore, although in the past your youth excused the use of familiar endearments when addressing His Majesty, Your Royal Highness will remember that you are no longer in the nursery and are now of an age to refer to His Majesty by his proper familial title.[59] Any improperly addressed correspondence in future will not reach His Majesty. I remain
Yours respectfully
Oswin Fertig[60]
Secretary to His Majesty King Odren VII
XI. Princess Ayra of Lienne to Edvin and Elina
2 March 1903
Dear Mr and Mrs Lockridge,
It has come to my attention that you are concerned about the well-being of your son Tamett, who has joined our household as companion to my brother the Crown Prince.[61] Although Lord Protzmann has no doubt been keeping you informed about his doings, I believed it proper to address you personally, as my brother’s mother would have, were she here.[62] (May she rest in peace.)[63]
Your son has been in the care of the same nurse-governess who attends my brother, Karnella Arndt, a respectable woman who has been with the royal family since my own birth.[64] I can personally vouch for her character and her attentiveness. She has been ensuring that he is washed, dressed, fed, and supervised. Tamett takes his meals with my brother and sister and sometimes me, and his leisure time is primarily spent in our company.[65] His conduct is satisfactory. He has helped me wind wool, listened while I read to the children, and tidied playthings at the end of each day.[66] My sister Ateva in particular has gone out of her way to make him feel included;[67] she has undertaken some small mending tasks on his behalf and appears to enjoy amusing him as much as she is able. Tamett appears to be in good health and has made no objection to living among us of which I am aware.[68] We will continue to ensure that he writes to you at least once a week. If the King my father and Lord Protzmann approve and arrangements are made well in advance, you both are welcome to call on him.[69] Although I will likely be otherwise occupied, my sister Ateva will be happy to receive you.[70]
Our family is grateful to you for giving us your son in the best interests of Lienne. My brother has benefited from his companion’s presence, and I give you my word that he will regard Tamett with increasing esteem as the acquaintance continues.[71]
If you have any further concerns regarding Tamett, please address them to Lord Protzmann or Karnella Arndt, who can best address such matters.[72] I extend you both my best wishes for your continued health and well-being and remain
Yours cordially,
Ayra, Princess of Lienne
XII. Tamett to Emenor
5 March 1903
Dear Em,
How are you? I am well. It isn’t so bad here now. Professor Ebner only scolded me once today. His Royal Highness let me play with his trains. He says he doesn’t want them anymore now.[73] Ateva let me hold Miki again. I can make him laugh.[74] His Royal Highness doesn’t laugh. When he hears me he says to shut up. So I do. He likes that. I think we might be friends now.[75] I miss you. I hope I can come home soon.[76] I will ask the caterpillar man.[77]
With love from 
Your brother
Tamett
[Drawing that appears to depict a large insect waving one leg.]
[1] Papa, Mama, Emenor, Lovisa, and Cille: Zella Lockridge had not been born yet and would join the family later that year.
[2] It is as big as ten of our house: Königshaus Palace, the official residence of the kings of Lienne, contains approximately 1,330,000 square feet and has 853 rooms. Tamett’s comparison of it to his own home is over-generous to the Lockridge residence, which contained a mere 6,000 square feet and 15 rooms.
[3] lots and lots of people live here: The occupancy of the palace in 1903 was around 500, including the royal family, their staff and retainers, and the members of the court.
[4] I have my own room: Tamett’s bedroom was located on the second (first) floor of the wing of the palace occupied by the royal family, in a small corridor near Josiah’s suite, neighboring rooms occupied by Lord Protzmann and Josiah’s tutors. The room had been used previously as accommodation for royal children’s retainers and as a bedroom for younger members of particularly large broods of royal children. It contained a bed, a chest of drawers, a wardrobe, a desk and chair, and a washstand. Tamett continued to use this room throughout his entire stint as Josiah’s companion, even as a young man.
[5] a long window with bars: The windows of all rooms on the children’s floor of this wing had bars as a safety precaution, including rooms occupied by adults.
[6] a box thing on the wall that rings when they want me: The annunciator system was installed in Königshaus in the late eighteenth century and updated to reflect technological developments later in the nineteenth century. The annunciator in Tamett’s room had been installed specifically for his arrival and connected to bells in every one of Josiah’s rooms, as well as the main rooms of the royal children’s floor.
[7] my bicycle: Lord Protzmann granted permission for Tamett to bring his bicycle with him when he took up residence in Königshaus. This was less for Tamett’s personal convenience than in the hope that Josiah would develop more of an interest in bicycling as a result of his companion’s influence. A photograph exists of both boys cycling together, but the stiffness of their posture suggests that the photograph was staged for the benefit of Odren, to whom it is inscribed.
[8] Uncle Tamett says hello. He lives here now but I don’t know where: Tamett Lockridge’s uncle, Tamett Kassback, Duke of Reierwardt, officially resided in Norriber near the Lockridge home, but after his arranging for the employment of Tamett, he was granted a full-time position at court, which he maintained for the next three years. He divided his time between the palace and his own home, with more time spent at the former. His apartments were located in the wing opposite that in which Tamett lived, with the palace’s central section in between. These were official rooms forbidden to Tamett, making it difficult for him to visit his uncle without official permission.
[9] The food is good: Among the cultural distinctions of Lienne that Odren VII took pride in promoting was its cuisine. To reflect the supremacy of Liennese cooking, he employed twenty chefs to cook for his household. These men, leading representatives of their field, were led by Egmund Simmoner, innovator of numerous recipes created in the king’s honor or to the specifications of the royal family’s preferences. The royal children’s food was of the same quality as their parents’, with even simple dishes being given Simmoner’s special creative touch.
[10] I do lots of lessons: Josiah and Tamett began lessons at seven-thirty in the morning and concluded their activities at five o’clock in the afternoon, with a few brief breaks in between for lunch and an afternoon walk. Most schools in Lienne at this time began lessons at eight-thirty and ended at three o’clock.
[11] I haven’t seen the King again: The Duke of Reierwardt introduced Tamett to Odren and the royal children for official approval upon Tamett’s arrival. The visit was brief; as soon as Odren was satisfied that Tamett was a suitable companion for his son, he took his leave and allowed Lord Protzmann to handle the details from there. This was a surprise to the household, given Odren’s usual practice of personally overseeing most details of his children’s lives, but in the aftermath of Queen Nyella’s death, he retreated from many such duties.
[12] Everyone wears black but I don’t have to, so ha: The court observed a six-month period of mourning after the death of Nyella. Although a widower could end his mourning and re-enter society after three months (as had been done after Queen Liane’s death), Odren observed two years of mourning for Nyella and insisted that his children do the same.
[13] His Royal Highness is a beast and I don’t want to stay here anymore: According to the royal children’s nurse-governess Karnella Arndt in her memoir Thirty Years at the Liennese Court, Josiah spent most of the first week after Tamett’s arrival refusing to speak or interact with him more than necessary, despite a brief moment of connection between them at their first meeting.
[14] Lord Protzmann. Your uncle Tamett says he is the one looking after you: Lord Protzmann had been the head of the household of the royal children of Lienne since 1885. He had handled the employment of Tamett and would serve as the boy’s official supervisor.
[15] His Royal Highness’s governess, perhaps?: In a letter to her sister-in-law Klariesa, dated 28 January 1903, Elina expounds further on her concerns: “After all, he is not yet eight, and he still needs a woman to look after him. I had been assured that he would be treated as one of the royal family’s own, but with the passing of Her Majesty (God rest her soul), I fear that those children will be allowed to run wild, and Tamett will be among them and probably the wildest of all.”
[16] Ask your uncle the next time you see him to take a photograph of you in your new room. We would love to see it: A photograph from the Kassbeck family album, dated February 1903, depicts Tamett standing in the middle of his palace bedroom with one arm stiffly extended as if to show off the place. The room appears to be in a state of some disorder, and the bedclothes are askew.
[17] We don’t want the palace staff to think that we live like pigs here in Norriber!: Tidiness is an important value in Liennese culture; Liennese children are taught from their earliest years that “we must all improve our own little corner of the world.” The Norriberrian culture was a bit more relaxed in its approach to life, which over time became twisted into a Liennese stereotype of Norriberrians as untidy at best and filthy at worst. Although the young Tamett would not have been aware of this stereotype, Elina certainly was, and admonitions such as this one frequently appear in her letters to her son.
[18] Yes, the bars on the window are not like home, but they’re there to keep you safe: Norriberrian windows tend to be fairly small and placed higher on the walls than Liennese windows, making bars on children’s windows less necessary.
[19] You need to put it back immediately and tell Lord Protzmann what you did so he can have the annunciator properly repaired: Household maintenance reports indicated that Tamett did indeed inform Protzmann of the damage to the annunciator, although the report seems to suggest that it was the result of accidental damage rather than tampering.
[20] Without the bell, His Royal Highness can’t let you know when he needs you, and that is your responsibility, to be there when he calls: As Josiah grew used to Tamett, the bell was used with increasing frequency. A letter from Tamett to his parents, dated 12 December 1907, indicates that Josiah once rang the bell for him fifty-nine times within a period of twenty-four hours, including at night. The service required was typically small menial tasks.
[21] He is probably already very sad: The newspaper covered Nyella’s death extensively, with numerous large photographs from her funeral and other observances. A famous photograph made the front cover of the Golden Eagle, depicting seven-year-old Josiah in deep mourning, walking behind his mother’s casket and holding his sister Ayra’s hand. His expression is that of an adult holding back tears, and this noble stoicism impressed the Liennese, who were prouder than ever of their brave young Crown Prince. Elina likely had this image in mind when she discussed Josiah’s grief with Tamett.
[22] I need you to remember how he must feel and be thoughtful: There are multiple anecdotes of the young Tamett’s penchant for bluntness, although he does not seem to have had malicious intent. Elina relates in a 7 March 1903 letter to Klariesa how Tamett reportedly informed Josiah not only that their mothers had been at school together but that Elina had thought Nyella was “rather silly.” This caused considerable uproar and the need for Tamett to formally apologize after a lengthy lecture on the importance of tact.
[23] I’m sure His Royal Highness is a perfectly nice little boy: By the age of seven, Josiah had not made many public appearances. Carefully chosen photographs were commonly published, depicting him engaging in appropriate princely behavior (saluting officers, greeting dignitaries, bestowing charitable gifts, etc.) or displayed prominently in family groupings featured on postcards, and occasionally press releases would announce his commendable progress in his studies or report on his various talents. Such would have been the only impression of him that Elina and other members of the public would have had.
[24] he’ll try to come and see you at least once a week: Household records indicate that Reierwardt during his residence at court visited his nephew no more frequently than once a month.
[25] I miss you so much and it’s not the same without you: Tamett at this point had been absent from home for about a week.
[26] Lovisa and I tried to go sledding yesterday but we fell into the snow because you weren’t there to steer it right: A letter of Elina’s to Klariesa from this same date provides a less sensational account: “The girls went sledding this afternoon at my insistence. The noise was becoming more than I could bear. They seemed to be in better spirits when they returned, as was I.”
[27] I said no and went upstairs to practice: Emenor was taught from 1900 to 1907 by Arild Vester, a local musician who supplemented his income by teaching children the basics of the violin. Most of his students were not interested in making a serious study of the instrument, and he was taken aback by Emenor’s gift and drive, which eventually proved to be more than he could handle.
[28] a piece called I Miss Tamett And The Prince Can’t Have Him: Emenor claimed in later years in a letter to Tamett that she had worked the original melody of this composition briefly into one of her own concertos. Given the tone of her letter, it is believed that she was joking.
[29] if he won’t I’ll slap him: In early childhood, Tamett was observed by members of his family to be a particularly resigned child who seldom tried to defend himself when mistreated by older children. This bothered Emenor, and though only a year his senior, she made a point of boldly confronting anyone who dared torment her brother, including some adults.
[30] Lessons are boring and the tutors say I’m bad at them: Tamett’s earliest school report from his time at the palace sums up his conduct as “inattentive and idle.” Lessons were given at the academic level to which Josiah had attained, and Tamett was expected to keep up with little assistance since Josiah tended to become impatient and fractious when forced to wait while his tutors re-explained concepts to Tamett.
[31] They gave me a violin: Music lessons were a crucial part of a complete Liennese education, and there was never any question of whether the new companion might not have the aptitude for it. Tamett was assigned the violin because the household had an extra one on hand and because he could then easily share a violin tutor with Josiah.
[32] I put it in my desk drawer for later: Tamett’s insect collections raised frequent complaints from the staff who cleaned his room. There were a few incidents of maids surprised into screaming at the sight of dozens of insects inside drawers and containers.
[33] Do you want one?: No evidence exists that Tamett ever succeeded in sending Emenor an insect of any kind through the post.
[34] We carefully monitor incoming letters to ensure that they pose no danger and cause no distress to the royal family, particularly during this period of mourning: Lord Protzmann and Count Korbinian, the head of the King’s personal household, maintained a staff of letter monitors, numbering eleven in 1903. These workers were sworn to secrecy regarding the contents of the letters they read and could be prosecuted for violating this trust. In 1904, one such staff member was arrested and imprisoned for thirty-five years for selling the contents of one of Odren’s letters to a disreputable newspaper.
[35] it would seem that your son’s original letter containing the offensive word escaped our notice: Tamett’s letter escaped the notice of the monitors because he had given it to Reierwardt to post inside one of his letters, and the Duke’s letters were not under surveillance at that time. Reierwardt had not bothered to read the letter either.
[36] surely you would not have permitted her to send such a letter had you known what atrocities it contained: Edvin Lockridge later explained to Protzmann that Emenor had written and posted the letter before anyone could even think of reading it.
[37] it would certainly be a shame if he had to leave us abruptly: Multiple instances of the summary dismissal of children brought in as temporary playmates (not official companions) before the engagement of Tamett are related in household records. In 1902 alone, Mertrad Mertz was sent away for “antagonizing” Josiah, Tillo Knopp for “failure to make himself agreeable,” and Kolrad Holzhof for “indecorous displays of emotion.”
[38] Dominion for Lienne!: Although this slogan was a common and acceptable expression of patriotic fervor in Lienne, when said to a Norriberrian it carried a more provocative meaning. Norriberrian nationalists considered it an offensive reminder of the subjugation of Norriber and of Liennese oppression.
[39] Someone said we’re going to learn how to ride soon: Josiah and Tamett’s equestrian studies were led by Odren’s Master of the Horse, Odmar Rasch. Both boys made reasonable progress, although greater attention was given to Josiah’s lessons. Nevertheless, Rasch was among the few instructors to find little fault with Tamett’s work.
[40] I have six crickets now in my desk drawer: According to household records, the racket caused by these crickets led to their discovery and disposal and a reprimand for Tamett.
[41] It’s a boy and his name is Miki: The infant Mikaiah was currently in the care of his chief nursemaid Judepha Farnforst, her assistant Wilessa Unruhe, and a wet nurse, Odilie Beck, who had been engaged in a hurry after Nyella’s death. (Nyella had made the unconventional choice to nurse the infant Josiah herself and planned to do the same with her second child.) Farnforst’s reports indicate that Mikaiah at this stage was a healthy, normal, easygoing baby. His sister Ateva regularly visited his nursery and brought him out to see the rest of the family as often as the nurses would allow her. Odren, Ayra, and Josiah showed much less interest, although Ateva’s album includes a series of photographs, presumably taken by her, of each member of the family holding Mikaiah, with varying degrees of detachment evident in their expressions.
[42] When are we getting our baby?: Tamett and his sisters had been informed several months before of an impending sibling. Zella was born Thursday, 2 April 1903.
[43] as I hope to represent our region someday: Since 1896, Edvin had conducted a series of unsuccessful campaigns for the office of his area’s representative in Norriber’s delegation to the Liennese court.
[44] He must not think that Norriber is rebellious and unkind but cooperative and pleasant: The Duke of Reierwardt, from whom Elina Lockridge was descended, had historically taken the stance of compliance with the Liennese occupation, and such was the official political position of the Lockridge household.
[45] Find something that you have in common. Do something amusing together. Commiserate with him in his grief: There is no evidence that any of these strategies were undertaken. Whether this was due to Tamett’s reticence or Josiah’s unreceptiveness or perhaps some of both is unclear.
[46] Note the new stamp on the envelope!: Edvin Lockridge was an avid philatelist. The stamp in question was one of a recently released set depicting King Odren in profile, with the image updated to reflect an idealization of his current appearance. (The previous style of stamp had been issued sixteen years before, when Odren was about thirty.)
[47] Extensive illegible crossed-out passage: Effort has been made to decipher the censored portions of this letter, but nothing is legible except what might be the word “say.” The erratic nature of the crossing-out suggests that eight-year-old Emenor did it herself, perhaps at the insistence of her parents.
[48] “To Engella”: This famous piece by composer Lukaz Boschbrandt is to this day commonly taught to beginning music students because of its simplicity and illustration of fundamental techniques. “Engella” was Enga Boschbrandt, Boschbrandt’s niece, who had asked him for “just a lullabye.”
[49] How long has His Royal Highness been playing?: At Odren’s insistence, Josiah began violin lessons at age three, around the same time he began studying the piano.
[50] Extensive illegible crossed-out passage: Some historians have made the words “I am better than” beneath the scribbles, but otherwise this section is lost to our understanding.
[51] Mama says that I might be a companion too. Except I won’t go to the palace, just to Aunt Klariesa: Emenor worked as her aunt Klariesa’s companion from April 1903 to August 1903. Klariesa did not find her suitable for the role; Emenor reportedly protested against what she believed was unfair treatment and did not take kindly to being at someone’s beck and call. Klariesa in turn objected to her niece’s constant indulgence in musicality. Several years later, the companion place was attempted again with Lovisa, who proved a better match for her aunt’s temperament.
[52] I want to buy new music with my pocket money when I get it: Emenor never received any of the salary paid to her as companion; the money went to her parents.
[53] I hope you will come to breakfast soon. It has been six days, seven hours, and forty-one minutes since last time: Odren’s habits, usually quite regular, underwent a change after Nyella’s death. He rose later in the morning, took nearly all meals in private, and left his suite much less often.
[54] I do not want a companion: The decision to provide Josiah with a companion had originally risen from his own wish for someone to play with and his mother’s observation that he needed the company of someone his own age.
[55] He is not helping me because he distracts me from lessons with his ignorance: Professor Helmold Ebner, Josiah’s head tutor, recounted in a 6 February 1903 letter to his brother how Josiah used to “correct the Norriberrian child’s peculiar pronunciations and turns of speech and enlighten him to the numerous facts that his previous education seems to have overlooked entirely.  He takes an admirable concern for his companion’s education and would make a fine master himself, were he not destined for a more exalted station. Once again, I cannot help thinking that His Royal Highness will grow to be a true Father of his people! What patience, what gracious condescension!”
[56] I will be very unhappy if you do not send him away. And I am already very unhappy. You know why: In the wake of his mother’s death, Josiah developed a habit of using this loss as a reason for his wishes to be granted. It proved effective, especially with his father.
[57] he cannot possibly spare time for every trifling letter that crosses his desk: There is no evidence that Odren ever read the above letter of Josiah’s. It was found not among his personal papers but among business correspondence, typically handled by his secretaries.
[58] Your Royal Highness is well aware of the protocol: Josiah had a long history of lodging complaints with Lord Protzmann whenever some detail of daily life displeased him. There are a series of terse letters in his childish handwriting reporting such things as “bad food,” “staff not doing their work,” and “too many sisters.”
[59] now of an age to refer to His Majesty by his proper familial title: The above letter from Josiah is the last written instance of his calling Odren “Papa.” Everything henceforth is addressed to “Father” or “Your Majesty.”
[60] Oswin Fertig: Odren employed three secretaries to handle his extensive correspondence and help manage his staggering workload. Oswin Fertig, aged about twenty-three in February 1903, was the youngest and most recently engaged of these men. He had acquired his place through a series of fortunate personal connections who recommended him for his superb attention to detail and protocol and for his efficiency. He developed a particular protectiveness of both the king’s limited time and his dignity and would go on to field numerous letters from Odren’s children with the intention of sparing his sovereign such petty complaints.
[61] It has come to my attention that you are concerned about the well-being of your son Tamett, who has joined our household as companion to my brother the Crown Prince: Ayra, in her new role as female head of the royal household, worked closely with Protzmann in managing household matters. (It was she who, seven years later, would uncover Protzmann’s ongoing embezzling.) She seems to have skimmed the Lockridges’ correspondence.
[62] address you personally, as my brother’s mother would have, were she here: Among Nyella’s papers was found a half-finished letter in her handwriting addressed to Tamett’s family that seems to have been an expression of reassurance and gratitude.
[63] May she rest in peace: A protocol expression. Ayra’s exact feelings regarding the death of her stepmother, with whom she did not get along, remain lost to history.
[64] Karnella Arndt, a respectable woman who has been with the royal family since my own birth: Karnella Arndt, daughter of a furniture maker from the town of Fairesfeld, had recently been widowed when Queen Liane engaged her as chief nursemaid to Princess Ayra in 1885. Arndt’s patience and gentleness endeared her to mother and daughter alike, and she continued with the royal family after the birth of Ateva and was promoted to nurse-governess as the princesses grew older. Although she never had direct care over Josiah or Mikaiah, she remained a fixture in the children’s household even after Odren’s marriage to Nyella.
[65] his leisure time is primarily spent in our company: After such incidents as the dismantling of the annunciator and the insect collections, Tamett was not allowed to spend much time unsupervised.
[66] He has helped me wind wool, listened while I read to the children, and tidied playthings at the end of each day: Ateva’s photograph album corroborates this claim. Candid shots of the family from 1903 on frequently include Tamett, usually sitting a little apart from the others.
[67] My sister Ateva in particular has gone out of her way to make him feel included: Ateva reportedly tried to engage Tamett in conversation whenever possible and loaned him a plush deer which had belonged to her as a child.
[68] Tamett appears to be in good health and has made no objection to living among us of which I am aware: There is little evidence that Ayra had spoken much to Tamett directly at this point. Tamett’s letters seldom mention her directly.
[69] If the King my father and Lord Protzmann approve and arrangements are made well in advance, you both are welcome to call on him: Tamett’s parents visited him at the palace approximately twice in his entire time as Josiah’s companion. The journey to the palace was a long, expensive one, and the process for approval of a visit was even lengthier and more bothersome. Unbeknownst to Tamett, Protzmann sometimes turned down the Lockridges’ requests to visit, fearing that too much association with them would make Tamett homesick.
[70] Although I will likely be otherwise occupied, my sister Ateva will be happy to receive you: Ayra’s responsibilities changed after Nyella’s death, when she was required to take on many of the duties usually regulated to the king’s consort. Her timetables reveal tightly planned days, with even less time for leisure than her brother. Thus social visits with people of less consequence were often delegated to Ateva.
[71] I give you my word that he will regard Tamett with increasing esteem as the acquaintance continues: A letter of complaint from Josiah to Odren around this time relates an incident in which Ayra attempted to scold her brother for some perceived ill-treatment of Tamett.
[72] If you have any further concerns regarding Tamett, please address them to Lord Protzmann or Karnella Arndt, who can best address such matters: No further correspondence between Ayra and Tamett’s parents exists.
[73] He says he doesn’t want them anymore now: Around this time, playthings disappear from photographs of Josiah, replaced by primarily books, instruments, or schoolwork. Lists of his birthday and Christmas gifts from 1903 no longer include toys.
[74] Ateva let me hold Miki again. I can make him laugh: An entire page of Ateva’s photograph album features shots of Tamett making faces at a smiling Mikaiah.
[75] I think we might be friends now: Also from Ateva’s album is a clearly posed photograph of the “friends”: Josiah seated on a stool with one hand laid patronizingly on the shoulder of Tamett, who kneels near his feet.
[76] I hope I can come home soon: Tamett was permitted to return home for a week around his birthday in April 1903. It was hoped that a brief absence would clear the air between him and Josiah.
[77] I will ask the caterpillar man: i.e Lord Protzmann, whose distinctive facial hair evidently reminded Tamett of caterpillars. It is likely that Tamett substituted the nickname here because he was unsure how to spell Protzmann’s name.
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redemptioninchaos · 1 year
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Send me a 💗 and I’ll talk about the relationship our Muses have. //You can do this for Colette and Lu, Hella and Ajax and Sergio and Lovisa, or for all of them, up to you
Colette seems like a very flighty, cavalier character, but deep down is someone who has a lot of love to give after years of loneliness. She had sought someone who would know of her supernatural abilities and would, at the very least, not mind that aspect of her life. The fact that Luceus only seems to be more drawn from her eyes and fire abilities is super refreshing for her, and she has to try not to cling onto him 24/7 because of it.
Hella and Ajax, at this current point in the Tumblr timeline, definitely seem as if they'd be a great couple. Hella has an interest in supernatural beings, and Ajax...well, he just likes nice women in general, and gradually he will feel his obligation to protect her shift from one of duty to one of deep affection.
As for Sergio and Lovisa? Well, Sly Cooper definitely was an influence on Sergio when I first made him about a decade ago, so it makes sense that a cop-and-robber romance would eventually spring up for him, even after several rewrites since his inception. Any tall, older woman with obvious authority over him in some way will eventually turn him into putty, and Lovisa fit that bill to a T. It has been fun watching him gradually try to change his morality for his now-girlfriend, but it'll a slow process since New York will find another way to screw him over as he tries to progress...
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