The Hurt
Thanks to @idontknowreallywhy for reading through ::hugs::
Dumps and runs.
-o-o-o-
He’d left his dirty uniform on a bench in the locker room.
The random thought surfaced amongst a sea of emotion he couldn’t afford right now.
He was clean at least, hair still wet from the shower, and standing at the edge of the caldera. His feet were half covered in warm sand slowly losing the heat of the day.
The water lapped rhythmically against the shore and his heartbeat attempted to meet it, slowing, only to be caught up in the emotion again.
It thudded in his chest.
Slow.
Rhythmic.
He closed his eyes and focussed on what he could hear.
Again, the water, gentle, repetitive, forever.
The wind. Rustling trees. The red blossoming pōhutukawa behind him, its sound more the roar of a distant crowd than the yapping of the palm leaves high above.
Birds.
He counted three…no, four different kinds at least. The ever-present petrels and squabbling tui, silver gulls and a distant sea eagle.
Water seeping into the sand.
The sudden consumption of them all as Thunderbird One swooped in above the Island and righted herself in a roar of engines as she disappeared into her hangar, the pool swallowing her and her soundscape in one.
A moment of silence…
Before the Island came alive again. The petrels protesting, the tui defending their trees…
The wind cooling a tear on his face.
Virgil scrubbed his cheek, wiping it away and stabilising himself.
He started the ritual again.
The sand between his toes, the water lapping…
He let his shoulders settle and his eyes close.
Focus.
On the music.
Just another day. Just another shitty day. He did everything he could. He saved lives. It was done.
Images flashed, and he gasped his eyes open again.
Water rippling across the caldera greeted him.
He followed the waves, tracking them, predicting interference and pattern only to have wind wipe it all away.
It was just another day.
He had done everything he could.
That was the sense of the matter, the logic and reality.
But it hadn’t been enough and it hurt regardless.
He let himself fold down onto the sand, his butt hitting the soft mix of pulverised rock and coral, his elbows landing on his knees and his head in his hands.
It really wasn’t worth getting upset about. It wasn’t the first time, wouldn’t be the last and he should be stronger than this.
Stronger.
All the excuses, the psychological training, the reasoning behind his reaction…it was all there.
Yet, still it hurt.
He scrubbed away another tear.
Goddamnit.
A gentle hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped.
“Hey.”
Scott.
Concerned blue eyes stared at him a moment before his brother sat down on the sand next to him.
There was only the noise of the Island for a long moment.
“Do you think there are more nests this year?”
Virgil blinked. Looking up he found Scott staring across the caldera at Mateo and the petrel colony there.
Virgil stared himself for a bit. “Maybe?” A frown. “I haven’t done the count this month yet.”
He battled to remember the date. Was it today, yesterday or tomorrow?
He had no idea.
He should probably fix that.
“I found Dad out here once.”
Virgil’s eyes darted back to his brother. “What?”
“Early on. You weren’t here at the time. You and Gordy were on the mainland for one of his swim meets, I think.” Scott looked down and dragged a finger through the loose grains of sand between his knees. “It was one of our earliest rescues gone bad, and I have to say, that I swear he was speaking to Mom.”
“What?”
Scott arched an eyebrow. “He did that sometimes. When things were really bad.” His brother looked away. “And that was definitely a bad one.”
Virgil opened his mouth, but Scott held up a hand.
“Don’t start cranking up your medical expertise, Virg, he was fine. It was just a coping mechanism. We got it checked out. Dad was fine.”
Virgil pressed his lips together. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
His big brother shrugged. “Nothing to tell. Rarely happened. Maybe twice the whole time he was here.”
The ‘was’ hurt.
But then that was a simple hurt of existence.
“Why are you telling me now?”
Scott sighed and wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders. “You’ve had a bad one. It’s okay to be upset.”
Virgil looked away and didn’t answer.
“There is no shame in caring.”
And there it was, the knife that cut through all the reasoning his brain could throw at him.
His throat tightened. “I shouldn’t care so much.”
“If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be my brother. You wouldn’t be you.”
Another tear crept out the corner of his eye and he rubbed at it.
The arm around his shoulder tightened and Scott curled his hand into Virgil’s hair, guiding his head to his shoulder. “It’s okay, little brother, it’s okay.”
Of course, that was enough to break all the control he could manage and before he knew it, he was sobbing on his big brother’s shoulder. Scott had his arms around him and everything was messy and embarrassing and god, it all hurt.
Reassuring words and a hand rubbing his back. Somehow he was now five and being hugged by his big brother because he’d fallen over and scuffed his knee.
And all those people had died.
All those children.
Emotion swamped everything.
-o-o-o-
Eventually the wind returned, the water lapped at the shore and the tui started another argument in the pōhutukawa tree at the head of the beach.
Scott was stroking his hair.
Virgil swallowed and pushed himself upright.
His big brother did not let go, his hand still on Virgil’s shoulder.
Virgil scrubbed his face. “Shit, sorry.”
Scott’s voice was painfully soft. “Nothing to be sorry about.”
There was something in his brother’s timbre and Virgil looked up at him.
Scott was intent on Virgil, but there was pain in those eyes and the evening light was highlighting the greys in his auburn hair.
Virgil grabbed his brother and hugged him ever so tight.
“Virg?” It was half strangled.
Virgil didn’t answer.
He just returned the love.
-o-o-o-
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Chrissy, Hopper, and Mr. Clark?
Chrissy 📣: Describe your favorite or most iconic outfit.
i went to see the nutcracker before christmas, which is one of my favorite things in the world, but i wore this red dress with little white flowers on it, which is like the only dress i wear. it’s tight at the waist and then flowy. i also had black tights and a black sweater and my black mary janes. i also have dangly earrings that look like the bat tattoos eddie has that i wore. i felt very pretty.
Hopper 🚬: Have you ever found yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time? What happened?
there was a day in high school where these two girls started fighting in the hallway and i tried to skirt past them but then got cornered because they weren’t paying attention?? and then i ran away
Mr. Clark 📀: What were you like in high school? How have you changed?
well it’ll only be two years since i graduated this summer, but yeah i think i have. i’m much more independent and i’m able to be brave and ask questions. i think i work harder. i’ve also just had to sort of navigate a life of my own and figure myself out. i’m also more opinionated and willing to stand up for myself. i wouldn’t have done that before. those are the positive changes haha
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So...Guess what I got in class...
I was kinda just sitting there like :
You know...as you do...
Then the professor was like "Let's discuss the childcare philosophies and read about the historical figures who founded them"
And upon hearing "Historical figures" I was like:
So they started talking about lots of different philosophies...cool cool...
And let me just say...Maria Montessori...
I went from
and they started talking about her history...
"Maria Montessori was an Italian physician and educator"
And I just went :
So..........
That's what I got out of my classes :3
New pretty, smart, amazing, beautiful woman to simp for!
Presenting new vampire oc and addition to the mansion AND a new friend for my dear Lizzie!!!!
Sorry if she resembles any other ocs of anyone...I just really felt like white hair ;-; and I don't have an Oc with glasses yet...
And I'm really glad to have her because once Arthur and I make little vampires that constantly run around we'll need an early childhood educator and caregiver to help out 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Anyways if I still feel well enough to write I'll write a thing about her and Lizzie!!!
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