#lord hater x commander peepers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugarafterhours · 1 year

Text

Here’s a deathglare tickle fic I wrote

///the picture is from my comic I posted on my main account 🫶

TW/// Mention of kn!fe

——-Chapter 1——

it was just an average day upon the skullship. Everyone was doing their best to maintain the ships duties……well almost everyone that is. Andy was once again punished for “invading the commanders privacy” as he stood in front of commander peepers, even though the commander himself was shorter than the other watchdogs his temper and attitude made up for his height

He stood there with a stern glare “I have just about had it with you Andy! You’ve gone too far this time!”

His voice cracked in frustration “no one on this ship needs to know my business but me and me alone” he squawked only to realize that Andy was broadcasting the whole thing live , and just when things couldn’t get any worse the broadcast came across lord haters TV that was in his bedroom

“But sir I was just wondering, do you or do you not have a weakness?” Andy asked and chuckled “I mean everyone has their own weaknesses and guilty pleasu-“

peepers eye turned red with anger, his fists shook out of anger as he grabbed and smashed Andy’s camera on the ground causing the broadcast to immediately end.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!! NOW GET BACK TO WORK, ALL OF YOU OR SO HELP ME!” The short tempered commander yelped loudly and stormed off down the hallway as little footsteps could be heard

“What was that all about?” One of the watchdogs approached Andy curious of what just happened

“Oh well you see, I was interviewing the commander and asking him some questions and everything was going fine until I asked him if he had a weakness and if so what exactly was it?” Andy described “I don’t understand what the big deal is with weaknesses, I mean everyone has them. Right?” Andy questioned as he scratched his head

“Yeah for sure, everyone has their weaknesses and it’s nothing to be ashamed of……unless…”

Bean who was Andy’s cameraman thought for a moment “Maybe he’s hiding something from us and that’s why he got so angry, maybe he was afraid he was gonna slip up” bean replied

“I mean to be fair if someone found out my weakness. they could easily use it against me so I guess I can’t blame him for being upset” another watchdog commented

“Maybe he’s embarrassed” bean wondered as he crossed his arms curiously , his eye turning into what would appear to be a smug smile

“What do you mean?” Andy questioned him and tilted his head

“Maybe….whatever that weakness of his is, is too embarrassing to reveal, ya know? I mean after all he is known for being the stern hot headed commander we all know”

bean replied back confidently and gave what would appear to be a grin

The other watchdogs nodded and agreed with him. This certainly left them curious…

“Maybe he isn’t as harsh as we think he is…maybe he has a soft side to him” a watchdog added to the others

There was deafening silence then

Moments later they all busted out laughing. That’s impossible! Theres no way someone as strict and cold hearted as commander peepers could possibly have a soft side

But just what is the commanders so called weakness? Let alone if he even had one

——————————

—Chapter 2—

Lord hater was curled up in a blanket sitting on his bed next to captain tim who was snuggled up next to him, as the broadcast had ended, not only were the watchdogs curious about peepers secret weakness. Now hater was too

“Peepers has a secret weakness huh…?” and he was determined to find out what it was that peepers was hiding. “Well….peepers can’t hide it from me, I’m his boss so he’ll have to tell me!!”

Hater claimed as he patted captain tim “isn’t that right captain tim? I mean after all I’m his boss therefore I get to tell him what to do” he said with pride as he smirked, Tim purred loudly

a few hours passed and it was getting late, the tiny commander walked down the hallway to go retrieve his boss for dinner time as little footsteps could be heard from haters room, peepers opened the door to his bedroom and spoke softly

“Sir, your dinner is waiting for you in the dining room” he spoke in a chipper tone and stood on his tippy toes as hater jolted up from his blanket “WHA- oh!” He replied and fell off the bed face first “PEEPERS DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT!” He shouted as the little commander ran up to him worriedly making sure that the skeleton was okay and not injured

“Sorry sir! I swear I didn’t mean to startle you” he apologized as he squinted his eye concerned, hater slowly got up and glanced down at peepers as they walked out of the room. he followed him to the dining room, his loud footsteps now accompanying his tiny commanders footsteps “you know sir today is Tuesday” peepers peered up at him as they continued to walk down the hall

hater scoffed “yeah so?” He spoke irritatedly with commander obvious

“it’s taco Tuesday” peepers sang

“TACOS!? WHERE??” Hater shouted excitedly and practically flew down the hallway, peepers chuckled to himself and mumbled “works every time”

But just as he reached the dining room hater remembered the mystery of peepers secret weakness. He just had to know what it was as his curiosity ate away at him, he panicked “wAIT- WHAT IF PEEPERS WEAKNESS IS SOMEWHERE IN THE HALLWAY?! ILL NEVER FIND OUT WHAT IT IS!!” He screamed and immediately ran back down the hall and scooped up his commander

“Sir? Is everything alright?” He questioned as hater ran with him in his arms

“WHAT?- oh! Uuuhhh…n-no nothing is wrong c peeps, I just uh…..didn’t want you to miss out on taco Tuesday” he blurted out, peepers wasn’t convinced but didn’t bother questioning it

After dinner. peepers made his way to the bathroom only for hater to watch him unsettlingly, it felt like his eyes were practically glued to peepers

“uhh peepers where are you going?” He asked as he followed, towering over him

“Uhh I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll only be a minute si-“

hater shouted at him before he could even finish his sentence “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE BATHROOM” he spoke in an aggressive manner, peepers pupil shrunk in shock

“Sir I am NOT telling you what I’m doing in there that’s private! what is the matter with you?!” He replied back in an irritated tone as he shook his fist up at his boss

Hater got flushed and realized what he had asked was a bit too personal “N-no peeps you have it all wrong! That’s not what i meant!” He stuttered and stammered as peepers gave him an unamused glare

“then WHAT exactly did you mean sir??” The commander crossed his arms and sassed him as he began tapping his foot in annoyance waiting for a response

ten seconds went by and the silence was so thick you could easily cut through it with a knife

“Uuuhhhh……what I meant was are you getting ready for bed soon? Maybe before bed you’d like to oh I don’t know…play a video game?” Sweat dripped down his face as he gave the fakest smile, it kinda creeped peepers out to be honest

Peepers stood there shocked at haters kind offer, this wasn’t like him at all. then thought for a moment as he began to blush “O-oh! Yes of course sir I’d like that!” He chirped

——chapter 3——-

“Uhh okay great! Come as soon as you’re done. DONT BE LONG!!” he shouted and zoomed off to his room, peepers shrugged and walked into the bathroom “ugh what a guy” he muttered

Once he made it to his room he closed the door behind him and sighed of relief “that was close….”

Moments later he gasped loudly “WAIT A SEC- WHAT IF HIS WEAKNESS IS IN THE BATHROOM?” He screeched “wait a sec why would it be in there….” He began changing into his pjs, mind racing and all “maybe his weakness is dairy?…is he lactose intolerant?” He thought out loud and cackled “HES TOTALLY LACTOSE INTOLERANT HAHA” he laughed as he finished dressing and plopped on the bed chuckling hysterically at the scenario

Peepers walked in already in his pjs as his pupil shrunk once again, this time in confusion “Uhh…sir?” He spoke as he tilted his head

Hater sat right up and ran up to him and began poking his belly “HAH! YOURE TOTALLY LACTOSE INTOLERANT” he shouted excitedly and laughed, but didn’t realize that when he poked peepers belly he flinched

Peepers shouted loudly “SIR WHAT ARE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not lactose intolerant!” He gazed up at him confused

“Oh uhhh, sorry I must’ve gotten you mixed up with another watchdog” his lie wasn’t even a little bit convincing

“Sir what is this really about?” Peepers asked as he crawled on haters bed which felt gigantic to him

“Uuuhh what do you mean peeps?” Hater frowned and sat next to him on the bed trying to act innocent to cover up his lie

“Sir, with all respect you’ve been pestering me all day ever sin-“ peepers froze for a minute then he realized “you’ve been pestering me”………”ever since Andys broadcast ended! That’s what this is about isn’t it?” He shouted and scolded his boss “sir I’m sorry but I am very disappointed in you! You need to start respecting my privacy!”

He crossed his arms out of anger and looked away “And even if I did have a weakness which obviously I don’t…..why do you wanna know so bad?” Peepers was upset with him and it was starting to show

Hater pouted as his lip quivered, he laid on the bed right next to commander peepers “because c peeps, you’re my best frriiiiieeennnndddd” he whined

Peepers was shocked when hater said that to him, was he really his best friend or was he just being childish to get his way as usual? Either way peepers perked up and spoke in a calm tone “Im your best friend?…is…is that true sir? Do you really mean that?”

Hater grabbed him and hugged him close “well duh peeps! Everyone knows that, why else would I make you my commander in the first place? You’re my bestest buddy”

hater began to blush as he looked away, he couldn’t believe the words that just poured out of his mouth. he would never admit it out loud. but because it was just the two of them…..he trusted him whether he wanted to admit it or not , peepers genuinely meant a lot to him. he just has a hard time showing and expressing his feelings was all but he never understood why exactly that was….

a tear filled peepers eye as he hugged him back tightly “Oh sir, that makes me so happy!” He squeaked

Hater was alarmed at the little noise that came out of his commander as he looked down at him confused “Did you just squeak?” he asked in a confused yet curious tone

Commander peepers blushed deeply and tried to look away to avoid eye contact with hater , but it was hard when he was being held so closely in haters arms “N-no”

Hater smirked down at him and chuckled “yes you did, don’t lie to me peepers” hater playfully poked his belly lightly teasing him “you’re like a little squeaky toy!” He laughed

——Chapter 4——

When hater gently poked the commanders stomach, he let out another little squeak accompanied with a giggle , realizing his mistake the little commander blushed more and covered where his mouth would be in embarrassment hoping that his boss didn’t realize what just happened

“You did it again!”

Hater laughed “awww that’s so cute peeps!” He smiled at him and poked his stomach one more time hoping to hear his tiny commander squeak one last time

“S-sir please don’t!” Instead of a little squeak the commander giggled

Hater froze for a second. Then that’s when it hit him

“Peeps…….are you ticklish?!” He immediately grinned at him teasingly, his eyes lit up mischievously at the scene of the embarrassed peepers. it was an adorable sight

Peepers became flushed once again, he started to grow nervous “w-what?! No I-I’m not ticklish! Don’t be ridiculous sir”he stammered and shook nervously, he tried everything in his power to deny the fact that he was ticklish, he didn’t want anyone finding out, especially hater.

but hater wasn’t falling for it, by the flustered look on peepers face, he was most definitely ticklish….and embarrassed about it for some weird reason but hater couldn’t figure out why

“Awwwwhh!! Peepers is ticklish! Aren’t you??” Haters smirk grew larger as he gently tickled under peepers chin hoping to get another reaction out of him

Peepers blushed even more as he giggled loudly “s-sir! Please y-you’re embarrassing me” Another tiny squeak slipped out

“Embarrassing you?” He asked, then he stopped for a moment and thought….. then finally realized why peepers was so embarrassed. as the smirk grew even larger on his face

“Wait….is this your weakness?? Your weakness is tickles?” He asked aggressively

Peepers didn’t have much of a choice but to fess up “Y-yes!” He squeaked and immediately hid his eye out of embarrassment , he couldn’t make direct eye contact with hater without his stomach filling with butterflies “It’s just that….I’m really…REALLY ticklish, I-i dunno why but even the slightest touch gets me” he winced out of embarrassment and explained to hater as he hovered over him looking down at the embarrassed commander who was curled up in a ball of shame

“Wow peeps…and to think I was barely even touching you” he replied and smirked “maybe we should see just how ticklish you REALLY are….” hater approached him closer as peepers backed up all the way to the headboard, he felt his face getting hot as he looked back at the headboard then back at the tall skeleton who was ready to ambush him with tickles “S-sir please n-no!” He stuttered and begged him as his pupil once again shrunk out of fear as he shook nervously

Moments later, hater gently sat on the tiny commanders waist to pin him and immediately began tickling his body rubbing his long fingers up and down peepers sides

Peepers didn’t have time to react to the fact that his boss, the person he had the biggest crush on was sitting on his waist, he busted out in laughter and began to squirm at the sensation of the deep tickles, he began to feel it deep in his ribs

“N-nohohohoh plhehehehleassssee!!!” The commander cried out and wiggled

Hater stopped for a moment and looked directly into his eye

this started to make hater feel hot and bothered, he could feel his face getting hot , he wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he was pinning down the commander, or if it was the adorable little squeaks he cried out…..or the fact that he had came face to face with a helpless and humiliated peepers which made him feel even more powerful, or maybe it was all three

he didn’t know what exactly it was he was feeling but for some reason it was starting to turn him on, he looked down at him once again and gave him a smug look

Peepers caught his breath and looked up at hater who was smirking down at him, his face got slightly redder once he realized that hater was practically riding him

“Uhm…..S-sir?” He cried out “w-what are you doing?” He began to feel some tension in his nether reigns

Hater crossed his arms and grinned playfully “How’s about you guess then if you’re right I’ll let you go and leave you alone?”

Peepers got nervous and spoke in a shaky tone of voice “U-uhh you’re gonna…..l-let me go so I can get back to work?” He chirped nervously

“WRONG!” Hater yelled which startled peepers and started tickling his stomach, his smirk growing bigger at the sight of the embarrassed little peepers

Commander peepers squealed and began laughing hysterically, his stomach was especially the most sensitive

“Gahahahahhahh! Sheherherherherrr!! No faiirrr!” He squirmed and struggled underneath hater who was pinning him down

Hater got up close and personal to peepers face and started taunting him playfully “Tickle tickle tickle~” he whispered

The commander realized that he was too far gone, there was absolutely no turning back now as he was completely under haters control

Peepers jerked and twitched, tears were now streaming down from laughing so hard

Hater laughed for a moment and gave him a few seconds to catch his breath “Grop peepers” haters voice became low and seductive.

“I never realized just how submissive and obedient you were~” he winked at him

The little commander caught his breath and blushed deeply at his response “I-I am not submissive! And you know it!” He denied angrily “it’s only because you bullied me into submission!” He squawked as the blush slowly faded away from his face..eye?

“Ohhh but you love it don’t you?” Hater growled teasingly and gently pulled his commanders face closer to his by placing his finger under his chin before giving it a second tickle

Commander peepers winced and whimpered as he tried to look away but failed miserably, he had never felt so embarrassed “S-sir~” he squeaked cutely. he secretly loved every minute of it

Hater smiled down at him and let go of his chin “Okay peeps….I’m done” His smile seemed sincere

“R-really?” Peepers asked relieved as he sighed loudly

Hater screamed “NOPE! I’m gonna getcha!!” Hater continued to taunt him. He began tickling him once again and began tickling around his navel, this made peeps squeal loudly and jolt

“Hey peeps..” hater blurted out still ticking him as he got up close to his face once again “Cootchie cootchie cootchie coo” he mocked him seeing how he would react this time

Peepers could feel his knees weaken, stomach fill with butterflies as his face became really hot, hot enough to the point where he almost felt like he was burning up, but in reality it was from being so flushed. “NOO! GHAHAHAH plehehehese sir stohohohopp! I can’t take it anymohohohoooree~” he started kicking his feet

hater had never ever seen peepers like this before, he felt pleased with himself as he laughed at poor peepers who was absolutely drowning in embarrassment. then a couple minutes later he finally stopped and this time for good

He carefully got off of c peeps and peeps finally managed to fully catch his breath as he was drenched in sweat from laughing so hard , hater laid next to him and grinned right before peepers looked at him and covered his face in embarrassment, he couldn’t bare to look at him

Hater spoke softly “Heh…you’re so cute peeps” he commented as he blushed a little

“S-shut up!” Peepers replied annoyed with him, he couldn’t look at his boss the same way again after this

a few seconds later peepers slowly uncovered his face to peer at hater, hater just laid there next to him smiling at him , peepers grumbled and finally gave in as he cuddled up close to hater

“Uh peeps…..ya know you’re really cute when you’re like this….I’ve never seen you this way before” he blushed a bit as he held c peeps close to him rubbing his back to comfort him

“Well sir…..you should consider yourself lucky, no one has ever seen this side of me before..” peepers explained “I just get embarrassed at the thought of others seeing me as all soft and mushy….I don’t wanna have that reputation” he sighed out of stress

Hater smiled at him and whispered softly “Well uh” he stuttered nervously “I’m just glad that you trust me enough to be able to talk to me about these things, and ya know I hate to admit it but…you can still be big and tough and still be a bit soft” he blushed “I uh….I know it’s not easy but despite what happened tonight. But I won’t look or think any differently of you because of it”

Peepers blushed out of shock, his heart started pounding. What hater just said was so reassuring it put him at ease. he didn’t feel as embarrassed now “Th-thank you sir….that means so much to me” he perked up and cuddled him

“No prob peeps…..no prob” he whispered as a few minutes went by “the only thing that makes me see you a bit differently is just how adorable you are when I’m taunting and ticking you, I’ll have to do this more often” he teased and winked at him

Peepers heart fluttered as he buried his face into haters chest “Shut up~” he muttered as hater laughed at him “Oh settle down you big softy”

The two finally settled down after all the excitement, peepers ended up falling asleep with hater but just before he fell asleep in his arm he couldn’t help but feel at ease after the discussion he had with hater, he actually felt a lot better and hater promised to keep his weakness a secret

besides what fun would it be if everyone found out? Hater would no longer get peepers all to himself anymore

The next morning hater was in the kitchen getting peepers coffee ready, peepers woke up to the sweet smell of hot coffee and slowly shuffled his way to the kitchen to get some breakfast

He walked in and yawned as he rubbed his eye then proceeded to walk up to get his coffee only for hater to hug him from behind, it was warm and cozy “Mmmh morning peeps” hater growled affectionately and nudged him as a little giggle slipped out of peepers mouth

“Sir please you’re distracting me~” he spoke in a sleepy tone, he had never felt so loved

#tickle art #tickle fluff #tickle fic #tickle headcanons #tickle fanfiction #woy #deathglare woy #deathglare #death glare #lord hater #commander peepers #peepers x hater #i’m so sorry

46 notes · View notes

aimasup · 1 year

Note

How do you think Wander x reader scenarios would go? (I’m a WOY fan, so I’m quite curious)

sorry for the wait on this aaa

ok bc this is a romantic ‘x reader’ no one is undateable, I’m just ranking these 6 guys from ‘best partner’ to ‘most work needed to put into the relationship so it’s not a complete shitshow’. WOY is a show based on platonic love so some of these are stretches

Also unless specified otherwise in the ask, y/n isn’t a villain or anything, just some random person

long, long post warning

Wander:

buddy when I tell you that you SCORED

he’s SO sweet oh my god. has tons of specific scenarios for dates, but it doesn’t matter if it’s a life-risking adventure or knitting in the woods. he just loves every second spent with you

he’s snuggly! he’s cuddly! You’ll never be touch-starved with him! And he’ll note if you’re not a hugger probably but he might get too excited

You’re dating a walking plush toy built like a scarf with the cutest scruffy face at the end of it that also has wild animal mannerisms

you could toss him in a dryer with malicious intent and he’d come out with a love ballad for you ready to go

knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. You’ll always have the option to meet new friends and go to new places

If you didn’t have an adventurous streak before meeting him you do now. He doesn’t seek conflict, conflict seeks him

He does his very best to accommodate any needs you may have, he respects your boundaries and finds solutions to brighten up your day

you also brighten up his day. get ready to be sick of the phrase 'I love you'

he does his fair share of the chores and more. He also loves cooking for you! You become the couple everyone’s jealous of because Wander’s in it and you get to experience his cooking

He doesn’t butt in to do things for you, but he loves making your life a little easier. So instead of ‘is everything comfortable my liege’ it’s more ‘I made you a lunchbox, have a nice day!!<3'

Wander has so many stories to tell. You learn new things about each other a lot. He has no problem filling silences, it’s like he never runs out of conversation topics

He loves talking about you so much. Now the entire galaxy knows they have something to use against Wander, next to Sylvia

He's your personal therapist now

Cons:

his energy can be draining, especially when he’s on a roll and oblivious to what’s happening with you

his selflessness blends into unintentional martyrdom often. You need to do some rescuing so he doesn’t get himself killed just so you could have some exotic dessert; it’s very stressful to see him put you above his wellbeing

he’s so stubborn actually. when he decides something’s for the better it takes some heavy lifting to shove the proof in his face

the concept of privacy is but a suggestion to him. And he’s open to suggestions! It’s just that a pet always wanting your time is cute, but when it’s your date it gets annoying

if you nicely let him know when he’s overstepping boundaries he’ll apologize and make up for it

Sylvia:

she rejects that lovey-dovey romantic stuff but she’s more similar to Wander than she realizes, in that this tall mass of muscle is endlessly devoted to you

if you’re fine with being lightly made fun of and sassed at a ton, then you both can spend any time ribbing at each other casually

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, she enjoys time spent together

she loves chilling. just vibes. umbrella drink and hammock and nice music and all. You two can hopefully just exist in the same room for long periods of time, there’s a lot of comfortable quiet going on.

she’s very clear about her boundaries and expects you to pull your weight in some capacity, though it’s fine if the task she needs done isn’t done soon.

she makes you feel powerful and safe and secure because she has no problem beating the shit out of troublemakers for you, and also yelling the most profane of insults in public. She can talk to any stranger, take control of any situation, bust through any boulder; it’s kind of scary but also empowering to just witness

Logically she might understand why something could emotionally upset you but she can't truly empathize, so she settles for being there for you all the way

she ends up carrying you a lot. under her arms, on her back, with her tail, like a sack of potatoes by the leg, etc. and she loves! cuddle piles! and curling up around you when you’re both sleeping! Tease her about it and she’ll toss you into a lake (out of love)

she stutters when she’s awkward. it’s cute as hell

You can go to her with any problem you have and she’ll comfort you, and give you advice even if she states that it’s a ridiculous issue. 95 percent of the time she’ll be on your side too

if you’re willing to learn, she wants to teach you how to fight. She worries about you and wants you to be able to hold your own without her around.

If you order something and she says 'nah I'm good' it's a LIE. She'll have a bite of whatever you're having. So get her something too even if she protests

she’s also fine with goofing off when needed. And she’s tough enough to try new things with you, might even have more fun than you while at it

meeting her family is emotionally exhausting. the ‘WHEN IS THE WEDDING’ questions don’t cease. you turn to her and go ‘damn bitch you grew up like this’ and Sylvia ‘had a job at 6’ Zbornak goes ‘yeah why’

she’s not as open about herself as she’d like to be, but if prodded she could tell you some tidbits about what bounty hunting was like

You may have trouble keeping up if you’re not very physically active. She has trouble slowing down too

your wedding is officiated by Wander, who is also best man. Wesley is the ring bearer god bless

Cons:

She not as stubborn as Wander but has trouble putting herself in the shoes of others, or seeing things from another perspective.

unless given a good reason to budge, she’s not moving when her mind’s set on something

a bit too quick to anger. Not directly at you, but sometimes her remarks cut too deep and her snark is too dry, and the lecture’s too loud.

She’s not very (outwardly) jealous, unfortunately she doesn’t trust easy. So your new friends, or new job, or new anything that she catches even the slightest whiff of ‘not right’ in her mind, she’ll be worrying and pointing out flaws here and there, and now both of you are anxious

you can talk to her about things she can change about herself, and she’ll try. You ground her and her temper and she likes that about you.

Peepers:

see this post

Hater:

on paper the 7 foot tall skeleton overlord with teleportation, force fields, electricity, levitation, and planet-toppling raw strength sounds like some grimdark video game villain but he’s just your personal phone charger now

wants to know about you as much as he wants you to know about him

he always looks for an opportunity to impress you or gain your attention. He likes showing you random stuff, all his shiny toys, his video games, some flower he found at the side of the road, etc.

at the same time he tries to be cool and aloof. He’s also genuinely pissed that he enjoys your company so there’s a lot of screamed affection

not good at speaking or gestures, better at actions. Surprisingly touch-affectionate. He loves carrying you, or holding your hand, or kissing.

You end up being added to the list of people he makes an effort to listen to. consider yourself lucky

He complains about everything but when it comes to things you find neat he doesn’t hate them as much now that they’re associated with you. You are the chill pill.

He talks edgy but he's an open book, and you impress him easily

both of you can geek out over the same things like music and weapons

He’s actually really good at words on paper. So things like secret love letters, lyrics, or rehearsed speeches.

Will loudly defend your honour in public, will try talking it out if he has to

mate you are about to learn some RESPONSIBILITY this man has no home skills. If you don’t want your diet to be takeout for the rest of your life start learning how to cook

If you decide to get married it will be a whole Thing and you'll learn how many times he's organized a wedding before. Ask the watchdogs

Cons:

his whining gets legitimately annoying, and he doesn’t make compromises nearly as smoothly as you might hope. It’s almost like dealing with someone who only recently learned how the world works (so you don’t want to ask about his real name.)

loud, petty, self-centered, possessive, and sometimes you can’t deal with that if you’re both having a bad day

When he’s doing some grand gesture of romance it usually ties back into you giving him compliments

Despite being emotionally open he doesn’t talk about what goes on in his mind a lot, so he might come to bizarre conclusions or not explain his thought process, even if he’s on the right track

he’s self-aware to a degree at least, and he’s actively trying to not make everything about him.

Awesome:

banging my head on the wall, trying SO HARD to find redeemable qualities

he’s the kind of fucker to smugly say ‘you know I’m right’ regardless of how obviously he's not. He thinks obnoxious property-damaging prank videos are hilarious.

his style of villainy is almost worse than dictatorship because he has such little regard for the people and places around him that his hedonism literally causes worlds to end

in other words he’s so disgustingly shallow that the simple concept of an equal in his life at rock bottom would force him to fix himself

anyways uhh dating him would be weird. Like he’s physically useful I guess, also he’s rich so you’d get anything you want. Speaking of physical, he's a really good meat shield in times of crisis.

not controlling, just weirdly opiniated. Thinks any past time that isn’t clubbing or drinking or high-energy is lame, seperates himself from ‘uncool’ things, judges passersby in a mean way, is far too encouraging of you to step out of your comfort zone, etc.

You need to be assertive because he still cares about what you think, somewhere in there.

So if he goes ‘no biggie but I think you’ll look better in this’ or 'no don't spend your time like that', or ‘you shouldn’t call them back’ just get rightfully upset and demand why. Guarantee he will not have a good reason to keep this up. Know your rights and make sure that man knows guilt

Pros:

ok this is either a bad thing or a good thing but he’s observant enough to know how to distract you. If you’re mad or sad about something he can push all the right buttons to get your mind off it, but again he can use this to deflect from serious stuff

surprisingly responsible? Like idk how to explain it. He knows what items go with what needs and is really good at planning ahead. Not like making a shopping list, but like connecting the dots based on logical assumptions. “We could get this sturdier metal hanger for the drying rack but it rusts easily so we should get the cheaper package deal ones.”

such a stereotypical dude-bro that it’s kind of adorable. He watches sports and has opinions on canned alcohol. Also a great hype-man.

you literally never need to worry when going to social events. He has enough confidence for the both of you.

probably hits a turning point when he realizes that the people he hangs out with are dicks when they make fun of people like you and does the tiniest bit of self-evaluation without coping horribly

not protective or jealous. Doesn’t even get mad really. Laid-back about so many things and knows how to roll with the punches, knows when to draw some lines. He's very honest too, in the funny way

eventually he does get okay with mediocrity and mundane activities. He still tries to make things more exciting now and then, it backfires but that's the fun of it

his cats love you

Dominator:

hoo boy where do I start

there is literally an entire episode on why she’s a terrible date. Her thought process in the beginning was LITERALLY ‘ughh I’m bored -> ugh lookit that planet -> ugh I bet those guys are having fun -> how dare they -> I wish I could DESTROY THEM’ like girl what

needless to say getting her ass kicked might’ve humbled her by like 5 percent but she’s still kill-happy

She perpetuates her own cycle of a ‘dog eat dog’ world by being a dick before anyone else can. Either because it’s self-defense or a competition or it’s fun

The way she speaks to you, even if she genuinely enjoys your company, she just can’t help but throw some insults in there. Not passive aggressive ones, just plain insults.

If you’re into that then a one night stand would be fun but she’ll forget your name the morning after

If Emperor Awesome is manipulative, then Lord Dominator is controlling. She doesn’t understand why you aren’t feeling what she thinks you’re supposed to be feeling, or dropping everything to come spend time with her immediately, or egging that innocent old man on her command.

her casual, bubbly attitude can be dissonant with the actual situation. it’s not that she can’t read a room, it’s that she’s thoroughly analyzed it and concluded that it’s either hilarious, irrelevant, or beneath her

The only way she’d even get close to you in the first place is if you had something she wanted in the first place, like information, status, or power.

the relationship is an accidental bonus, and now neither of you know what’s happening, and ‘oh god what do you mean you’re Lord fucking Dominator’

You are dating a gangly pocket knife with anger issues and hips for days. This might as well happen

She’ll deny it to her last breath but she’s fiercely protective of you, like how wild animals become protective of those they see as weaker than them. The way she shows this is either by kicking ass or glorious, glorious insults.

Pros (?):

"What is this?" "Affection." "Disgusting. Do it again."

If you’re indecisive or anxious, her authority fills that gap. She fully emits the vibe that she owns any room she walks into, and eventually she might have you learn to stand up for yourself too.

She’s not a Mean Girl, she can’t fake nice with a straight face. The phoniness also wears her out; she prefers telling it like it is. This is also a con

Lowkey really hopes you find her impressive, which is easy given all the things she can do, but also hard because of her loser vibes

If you learn to banter with her, arguments get entertaining, and it becomes a conversation in itself. You also need to out-weird her and annoy her as much as she annoys you. And now you both can get your way with minor conflict

you can watch cartoons and talk about pop culture together. Not to mention she can always entertain you or make you laugh, intentional or not. She can recite a whole gorey B-movie from memory, and also act it out, and it intimidates you but that's what happens when the wifi goes out and she's bored

Like Wander, you end up in dangerous shenanigans together. She’s passionate like Wander, assertive like Sylvia, chaotic like Hater, organized like Peepers, fun-loving like EA, and also smart and diabolical and talented and dorky in her own way.

#wander over yonder #my post #woy #woy wander #woy sylvia #sorry for making you read all that #emperor awesome #lord dominator #lord hater #commander peepers #x reader #y/n #headcanons

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