Childhood Crush
Chapter 13: Cobalt
Killer x gn!reader
word count: 2.4k
a/n: since i was gone longer than usual and gave a good cucking - HAVE ANOTHER AYEO cucking, i mean
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When you came to and made your way out, the blizzard stopped. The night was still - no wind, no noise. Just the quiet snow and the light of the moon illuminating the glittering landscape. You stood there for a moment, just enjoying the silence. You let out a long sigh, closing your eyes and letting your head fall back. You were already exhausted. Why did Myra send only you? She had seemed pretty adamant about you going alone. She wouldn’t spare anyone else. Did she know something you didn’t?
Your mind then drifted to the crazy guy from earlier. What even was his deal? His face flashed in your mind and you groaned. That unnatural grin couldn’t be…on purpose. It almost looked as if some invisible force was pulling it - pulling it to that unnatural state. It couldn’t be comfortable. Even still, he felt familiar. You couldn’t place why.
You opened your eyes, sighing once more and watching as the clouds from your breath traveled up then to the ground. There wasn’t a lick of wind like earlier. You looked down at your arm. You needed to get that taken care of for sure. You couldn’t lose another arm. Sure, you could probably just make another armband, but you’d honestly rather not.
Thankfully, due to the still of the night, you did hear running water. You followed the noise and soon discovered a small river. At least it wasn’t frozen.
Some time later, you had a small fire going and were boiling water. You cut off a piece of your cloak, dipping it in your now clean water. You hissed softly as you began to clean up your wound, soon enough stitching it up. You were glad you always carried around a small stitch kit just in case. It was essential to you at this point.
Once you were all patched and warmed up, you set off again.
--
Finally, you made it to a village. The Flower Capital to be specific. You needed to gather some information about Kaido and his castle. You couldn’t just go in blind. This was a stealth mission, not a strength contest. You stood no chance anyway. You knew your limits and you weren’t dumb.
The intel you obtained was a lot. Twenty years of constant downfall. These poor people just couldn’t catch a break. When would their suffering end? Soon, you hoped.
The information that pertained to you, however, was that it seemed that Kaido was going to be throwing some kind of party for an alliance he was having with Big Mom. Great. Two yonkos in one place. Just fantastic. Not only that, all of the beast pirates were apparently going to be there. Fanfuckingtastic. Just what you needed. Though, if you just found some kind of disguise and laid low, you should be just fine. You’re just getting some flowers after all. No need to stress about fighting. No one was going to question you just picking flowers.
Make fun of you, maybe, but nothing more.
“Yeah, I heard that the prison in Udon is holding that Strawhat captain now along with that Kid Pirate captain.” Your neck could have snapped with how fast your head turned. You noticed two people talking and walked over. “I heard the same thing,” you lied, sitting on the bench with the other two. They looked at you for a moment, but didn’t seem to dwell on you for long.
“I heard the Strawhat tried to take on Kaido and was easily defeated.” The woman laughed softly. “That’s what happens when you end up too big for your britches and try to fight a yonko, I guess.” The other woman laughed and you joined in.
“Yeah, it’s crazy,” you say, trying to fish for more information. “How long has that Kid guy been there anyway at this point?”
“Oh, I think it’s been a bit at this point. Kaido captured the whole crew. My husband heard it from a Beast Pirate. Boasting about it, he was.” Your heart sank. Caught the whole crew? Panic set in. Were they alive? Were they dead? Were they being held in the same place? It didn’t sound like it. You needed more information, but you knew you wouldn’t get too much from the two ladies without drawing suspicion.
“Well, at least they’re locked up. We don’t need more pirates terrorizing us. We’ve been through enough,” the other woman said. You nodded along with them, making a little more idle chat before bidding farewell and leaving.
Well, now to figure out where the hell Udon is. And what prison they were talking about. Though, you weren’t sure how old that information was either.
As if the universe was granting you some kind of mercy, you heard another tidbit of information.
“I heard there was a breakout at the Udon prison.” You glanced over, seeing a couple Beast Pirates talking this time. “That Strawhat guy and that Captain Kid guy.” You felt your heart breathe a sigh of relief to hear your brother was able to get out of there. But…where the hell was he now? You didn’t even know where to begin searching for him. You knew he wouldn’t stay in one place long and knew the first thing he’d do is get his crew back.
The only thing you could do was just continue with your own mission. Surely you’d run into him eventually. Besides, he was your brother, he was probably just fine. With a deep sigh, you decided what to do next.
Now, you just need to head to Onigashima. Simple enough. You just…needed to find your boat…and…fuck. Which fuckin’ port you come in on? You should’ve paid more attention to your surroundings and where the hell you were going. Though, taking your own boat over to Onigashima was probably also not very smart. You should probably just sneak on one of their own ships in disguise. Yeah, that checked out. That was a better plan.
Turns out, most of the Beast Pirates were absolutely dense. They were not bright. All it took was knocking one out and changing clothes and they were none the wiser.
When you actually made it to Onigashima - things didn’t get any easier. You thought it would for a moment, only to find out there was some kind of huge fight going on. Well, shit. Now what were you supposed to do? You ended up getting swept into a crowd of rushing people heading into the castle. Well shit, that’s the opposite of what you wanted. You wanted the outside not the inside.
You eventually broke away from the crowd, grumbling as you did so. You straightened yourself out, heading towards the place where you had entered from only to suddenly feel the entire place begin to quake. You lost your footing, crashing to the ground as did a lot of other people. Shouting began and everyone started looking around.
Once the ground stopped shaking, you stood up, heading over to the nearest window. “Are we in the fucking air?” you mumbled to yourself. That was absolutely insane. What was Kaido’s plan with this one? Actually, you still weren’t even sure what the hell was going on. As far as you know a fight broke out during a party and that’s it. You had no idea who was involved or why it was happening.
“I can’t believe it either.” You looked over, seeing another Beast Pirate. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but apparently the Strawhats, the Kid Pirates, and the Heart Pirates are all here trying to take down Kaido and Big Mom, so get ready for a lot of fighting.” You stared at him. “Huh?”
“Good luck, soldier,” he called as he ran off.
You just stared after him. “He’s going after another fucking yonko?” you yelled to no one in particular. With all the commotion, no one really noticed anyway. You took off your helmet for a moment, running a hand through your hair. This was absolutely ridiculous. What the hell was Eustass thinking?
Well, at least that answered the question of where he was. It was only a matter of finding him now. At this point, you forgot about what you had originally come here for. Your only goal now was to find Eustass and demand to know what’s going on…or at least know he’s okay. You still couldn’t believe he was targeting a yonko. Was he trying to lose another arm?
With a dramatic sigh, you started to navigate the halls. Fights were broken out left and right. You did your best to stay out of all of them. You didn’t particularly care one way or another how they would end up. None of this was any of your business…well…if you rejoined your own crew then you supposed it was.
Ugh, you’d figure out the details later. You really needed to stop overthinking things - it was giving you a headache.
During your search, you stopped dead in your tracks as you saw a familiar tuft of red hair. A large smile spread across your face as you honed in on what you saw. There he fucking was - your brother. Eustass fucking Kid. And, as always, Killer wasn’t far from him. You felt a heat creep onto your cheeks as you looked at the man you’ve had a crush on since childhood. Did he get bigger? Motherfucker yoked up. Your brother too. Damn, what the fuck did they do when you were gone? Take steroids? Damn.
Your heart was pounding in your ears with excitement. So much excitement, in fact, that you didn’t exactly notice the state they were in. Now that the initial shock of seeing them had passed, you noticed the rough shape the both of them were in. You had something that could fix that - you just had to get to them first.
You moved quick, taking your enemies out one by one in rapid succession. Soon enough, all that was standing in your way was Eustass and Killer. “What are you doing?” One of the fallen pirates asked in a strained voice. “Are you betraying us?” You just looked down at him, licking your teeth. You looked back to the two in front of you, tossing them what looked like some kind of protein bars.
“Eat those,” you said.
Eustass just glared at you. “Why the fuck would I listen to someone who just killed their own men?” he demanded. You blinked, confused on why he didn’t recognize you. Then it dawned on you. The helmet covering your face. Right. Plus, what were the odds you’d be here anyway? You were about to take your helmet off when you noticed someone creeping up on your brother.
With a sigh, you threw one of your daggers, flying right past Eustass’ head and straight into the skull of the man behind him. “You really need to be aware of your surroundings, Tungsten,” you said with a dramatic sigh.
His eyes widened in disbelief and his whole body went rigid as the nickname left your mouth. You took off your helmet, tossing it to the side. “Ugh, that thing was awful.” Honestly, you didn’t know why you wore it as long as you did. Maybe to make people leave you alone? You weren’t sure at this point.
“What?” Your brother’s voice was soft, full of disbelief. You looked at Eustass, confused. “Is that all you gotta say to me?” Though, with the look on his face, you could tell that he was still dumbfounded. He definitely couldn’t believe his eyes. “What? You think I was dead?” You snorted.
“Like I said, eat those bars. It’ll take a couple of minutes, but you’ll completely recover. However, it’s the only one you’ll be able to have today so make it count, yeah?” It was something you had developed while you were on the island. Medicines were your specialty, after all.
They looked at each other before looking back at you. “Bigs?” You looked at him and nodded slowly. “...Yes? Are you still on that?” Now that you thought about it, Eustass did look pale. As if he had seen a ghost. He slowly stepped towards you before taking you in his arms and holding you tightly. “Uh…Tungsten?” you asked, patting his back. “As much as I love you and love your affection, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something.”
“Kese said you died.” You froze at the mention of his name as your own mind started to spin. “H-He what?” You pulled away from Eustass, looking at him. You searched for a lie in his face, but there was none. There was, however, a lot of emotion that he was holding back. Probably holding it together because you were in public and somewhat in the middle of a war.
You blinked, looking from him, to Killer who hadn’t even moved so much of an inch or said anything, back to Eustass. You shook your head.
“This is something we can process and go over later,” you said, knowing you needed to move things along. “I’m well and alive, obviously. I’m just here originally for a mission for the labs, but it seems like there’s a lot of unsettled business I’ll need to attend to. So.”
You look at them, stepping back and putting your hands on your hips. Once more, you were taking your authority as an older sibling. “This is the plan, yeah?” They nodded, looking at you, ready to listen. “You two are going to eat those bars and do whatever it is you need to do. I’m going to finish my own side mission that I was sent on. This is all gonna end and we’re gonna meet up later, alright?” They nodded again, opening their bars.
“And none of us are going to die, got it?” You had a firmer tone this time and again, they nodded. You could tell they were still absolutely floored that you were before them. Why would Kese tell them that you died? What the hell was his angle at this point? Why did he want you out of the picture so damn bad? You didn’t even fucking know the guy.
You could figure all that out later, right now you had shit to do. You smiled at the both of them. “Alright. We have a plan, now quit standing there like a couple of idiots and get going.” With that, you winked and hightailed it out of there.
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Blue Eye Samurai: regarding Mizu’s “plot armour” or her “ridiculously over-powered” abilities.
“Mizu is way too overpowered, it doesn’t make sense.”
I feel like a lot of people don’t realize just how much the mind over matter mentality plays a roll in Mizu’s “abilities”. Mizu isn’t the best because she’s physically the strongest, or had the best training, or the most experience, or whatever. Mizu is the best because she has single-minded focus and immense tenacity that borders on psychotic due to how intensely dedicated to revenge she has been for almost all of her life. All the years she spent training, all the time she spends taking out enemies, she is being driven by single minded focus and iron willed determination that never wavers. She has been sharpening and honing not just her body, but her mind, for exactly this. She has dedicated her entire life to her quest for vengeance, and in her own words, there is no room in it for anything else.
People also seem to be making a lot of assumptions about what kind of training and how much training Mizu has or has not had. As the audience, we’ve only been shown bits and pieces of Mizu’s past, which includes her experience learning martial arts. Asking shit like “how is she so good with a sword if she’s only self taught?” is like asking “how can she read and write if Master Eiji is blind?”. The answer is that Mizu has obviously learnt these things from more than one source, but documenting her entire education in detail doesn’t exactly serve a purpose to the narrative. We are explicitly shown in one of Mizu’s flashbacks that she’s been practicing with a wooden sparring sword since she was very young. It’s actually her child self that we see in that brief particular flashback. Not her teen/tween self, her child self. She’s also following the movements and instructions of an older man that is clearly a skilled samurai or warrior of some kind based on context (which y’all love to ignore). Besides, who else would want/need a sword from a master sword-maker besides an expert swordsman? How many skilled fighters from all over Japan have come to Master Eiji’s forge hoping for a blade, and wait with nothing better to do but train while their blade is being made? How many of them have divulged information about certain fighting styles (like Shindo-Ryu, which Mizu was familiar with despite never having been to the dojo before). Or practiced around her and with her? We are clearly shown through Mizu’s flashbacks that receiving training from a visiting client has not been unusual for her throughout her apprenticeship with Master Eiji, and her little spar with Blood Soaked Chiaki was no one time event. Yet Mizu is never given the benefit of the doubt by the audience, despite context clues indicating that she should be.
“Taigen has way more training in an actual dojo, so why is Mizu better?”
Whereas Taigen, while he was determined to become more than just a fisherman’s son and was driven to rise through the ranks of the Dojo and become a skilled samurai, did not have that same desire or determination to hone every part of himself to be the most deadly weapon he could possibly be, like Mizu did. Taigen believes in the samurai code of honor and upholds it in his own way (preventing him from learning how to “fight dirty” so to speak) and he also had a life outside of his training (he had a social life, he drank, he partied, he snuck around a lot to see Akemi presumably, etc). In fact, we actually never see Taigen practice, train, learn, hone his skills, or anything (to my recollection) throughout the whole season, until he’s bested by Mizu in combat. I’m assuming Taigen had to work quite hard for several years to become as good as he is, but I get the sense that ever since he has been regarded as a prodigy he has allowed himself to get cocky and maybe a bit too comfortable. He has always been the best and always thought himself to be the best, so he never needed to give 150% effort when he fought. In fact, as he got older and more practiced, and it became more and more apparent how much better he was than everyone else, he probably stopped giving his 110% and allowed himself to get a bit comfortable putting in 100% effort, and then eventually 80% effort (which is part of the reason why I think he’s so pissed he lost to Mizu in their first fight, because he knows he could have done better: been less cocky, been more tactical, more driven, etc).
We also never see Taigen meditate or mentally or physically prepare himself the way we do with Mizu. Mizu will pray before a major upcoming battle, not because she’s religious, but because she’s mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing herself. We even see Mizu submerge herself in very cold ocean water (during the winter mind you) as a ritual/practice of sorts that serves to center herself and prepare mentally and physically for what’s ahead when she feels herself getting “too emotional” or too stressed or unfocused or even just slightly off kilter. Mizu sacrifices every part of her life, so that she can be the deadliest version of herself possible. She has no social life. She has no friends, or significant others (Mikio aside). She has no other activities to participate in, because she’s been completely alienated and thus being anything but the best is not an option in her mind because she has no options. She tried married life. She had the best possible life that she could have had as a biracial woman in Edo era Japan. She did as she was told by her “mother”. She showed her true self to Mikio, just as he desired. Yet the blood and vengeance still caught up with her. She has no other options anymore. Pursuing revenge is the only thing she knows how to do, because every other avenue in life has been cut off from her. So she has to be single-mindedly focused on her vengeance, which means being as skilled and as dangerous as she can possibly be. She has no hobbies or jobs or responsibilities beyond sword-making (which allows her to become as familiar with the blade as possible) and training herself. If she has extra time, she uses it to practice, to train, to improve, to simply maintain peak performance. Such as when she was hacking through those trees in episode 2. Afterwards, we see Taigen attempt to replicate her training (by cutting down trees with his sword). Though even then, it was more about curiosity and trying to suss out Mizu so he could gauge her skill level, then it was about actually honing his own abilities (until episode 3 when he practices with Chiaki’s broken blade). Which does count as training in its own way (assessing your enemy), but my point still stands. Taigen does not have the same unwavering focus and force of will that Mizu does (partially because he does not actually want to kill Mizu, as we do see Taigen go cold blooded with focus when he kills Heiji Shindo, but those are whole other discussions).
“Mizu just has ridiculous plot armour, that’s the real reason she survives every encounter.”
I feel like people that think Mizu has ridiculous plot armour are just not at all familiar with the Samurai or Western/Cowboy sub-genres at all, or even action as an overarching genre on its own. I don’t believe I have ever engaged in a single piece of action media in which the protagonist didn’t have “plot armour” in some way. Basically half of all male protagonists from any and all modern western action movies ever, have been way too over-powered and been able to take a ridiculous amount of damage that should have killed them multiple times over. These action heroes (who in western media are almost always cis-het white men) have ridiculous plot armour in the most classic sense. Yet no one complains when it’s a white man. Only when it’s a queer-coded biracial woman of colour. Shocking.
In fact, you could argue that every main character in every fictional story ever told has plot armour to a certain degree, because having an entire narrative revolve around one character is inherently “unrealistic” and therefore the main character has plot armour, yes? No? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Oh, and on the topic of the samurai genre specifically (and many martial arts based action media) there are certain genre specific tropes that are nearly integral to the genre. One of the most prominent being the samurai/ronin/warrior/martial arts master that is “ridiculously over powered”. It’s literally part of the genre. In fact, the western/cowboy genre is quite similar to the classic samurai genre. Now, how many westerns have you watched in which Clint Eastwood or John Wayne shoot 5+ guys with one pistol before any of the guys they shoot even get a shot off? A lot I bet. Is that not the definition of “over-powered” and “unrealistic”? Or is it just a genre trope, or even perhaps, a genre staple? No one thinks Arthur Morgan (Red Dead Redemption 2) is over-powered. No one thinks that Joel (The Last of Us) is over-powered. In fact, when the TLOU show came out, people actually complained that Joel, the fifty-something year old man that has been living in a post apocalyptic wasteland for 20 years, was not badass or strong enough (he kills dozens of humans and super zombies and he’s legally a senior). So, who is the “judge” of what is and is not realistic in action media that borders on sci-fi/fantasy based on how “over-powered” the protagonists “realistically” are?
“It’s just weird that Mizu is so powerful when other characters within the story are not. It makes Mizu such a Mary Sue.”
Okay… so, with all that in mind, let’s circle back to where I started when referring to Mizu as someone driven by unwavering determination, and how that affects her “abilities”. That facet of her personality and motivation is nothing new when it comes to the action genre, especially for protagonists of revenge storylines. Think of Kill Bill or John Wick. Why does John or the Bride keep going and keep winning even when they are constantly getting injured and always fighting. Is it because they are simply that much better than everyone else? Yes and no. No, because they are not superheroes (technically), but also yes. Because their single minded determination and need for revenge drives them to push that much harder than anyone else on their skill level. They are the best, but they win against everyone else that is also “the best” because they want it more. They need it more. Mind over matter. They are willing to endure what others are not through sheer will and pure cold rage. Mizu, Beatrice Kiddo, John Wick, and so many more similar protagonists in action-revenge narratives don’t keep winning and keep getting back up no matter how inured they get because they are just “that much stronger and more talented than everyone else”. Yes, they are extremely skilled and would probably be one of the strongest and most deadly combatants/killers in their respective universes regardless… but their refined skill and raw talent and power are not the only reason they win. Their unwavering force of will, extreme determination, ice cold fury, and single-minded focus on revenge is what drive them to be that much tougher. Their tenacity is their superpower. They want to win more than their opponent does. They need to win, because this is their one and only goal in life as of now. Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai) Beatrice (Kill Bill), John (John Wick), they all share a philosophy in life when it comes to their revenge, which basically boils down to “Either I kill you, or I die trying. There is no middle ground, there is no negotiating, no other choice, no path of least resistance, no other goal or motivation. You will die, because I ain’t fucking dying until you do.”
Mizu doesn’t have plot armour and she’s not over-powered. She is an archetypical protagonist of the action-revenge narrative and the samurai/western genre as well. She arguably even has better reason to be completing the feats that she does than John Wick or The Bride, because the medium of Blue Eye Samurai is animation and not live action, and the genre borders on magical realism far more than Kill Bill or John Wick. Now, how many anime protagonists (probably almost all male) can you think of that are “ridiculously over-powered” especially compared to any live action counterparts, but no one complains about it? Why does no one complain about it (aside from misogyny)? Because the medium of animation inherently has different “rules”, expectations, and set standards for suspension of disbelief, than the medium of live action film or television. For example, is it ridiculous and unrealistic when you’re watching a Looney Tunes cartoon and Bugs Bunny’s legs pinwheel in super-speed for 3 seconds straight before he starts running, or when he runs off a ledge and gravity just lets him hang there for a sec so he can look straight at the camera before he falls? No, it’s not “unrealistic” or emersion breaking, not even a little, but why? Is it because any of those things seem even remotely probable or “realistic”? Of course not! It’s perfectly acceptable because the medium, genre, target audience, atmosphere, art/animation style, narrative choice, storytelling style, and more, have all established that Bugs Bunny defying physics is normal in Looney Tunes, and therefore not a “plot-hole” or “unrealistic”. In fact, if Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry didn’t defy physics in ridiculous ways all the time, then it feels far stranger and off-beat than if they did. Same goes for pretty much all action anime. If the characters in those stories were strictly limited to what is 100% humanly possible in real life, most of those animes wouldn’t even have storylines anymore. They’d be turned into completely different content that may be unrecognizable from the original source material. Or wouldn’t even have any material anymore because all the characters would be dead after their first fight scene. So why is Blue Eye Samurai being held to a different standard?
Now, do y’all get it yet?
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