#looooots of butter of course

[gametangium]

I made shrimpies for dinner for the first time in my life and they bop

#they’re Cajun style cooked in foil #looooots of butter of course #I’m trying to eat more seafood so here we gooooo #that last bit was in Mario 64 voice #fuck I’ve had like 1/2 of this drink that’s like 12% alc by volume and hooo boy #I’m zonked

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #346

“i was in a car crash (or was it the war?)  /  but i’ve never been quite the same”

Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? Not to my recollection. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I don't wear makeup frequently whatsoever, but if I do put some on, it's always black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? Well, one is a snake and one is a cat, so no, they don't. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? Well, besides in this survey, Mom asked me if I wanted some shrimp she didn't finish. A true stunner, but I didn't want anymore. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing other than what was mentioned. Are you lonely? To be totally transparent, I'm extremely lonely on multiple levels. What’s your favorite magazine to read? Don't have one. Do you like pineapple? Yeah. But keep it off my pizza. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yeah, they're common in the summer here. Have you ever trespassed? Not to my knowledge. My sister, neighbor, and I regularly visited this shack as kids, just exploring and checking stuff out, and someone eventually did approach us and tell us to leave, but idk if anyone ACTUALLY owned the property? We never saw any signs. Do you tell your parents where you are going? Yeah; if I live with them, they have the right to know. Do you agree with the notion that all people were created equal? Yeah. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not really, no. Too many people, too many stores I don't care about, too much walking. Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? I've given pets a pop when they've done something wrong, but seriously hurt, fuck no. Would you ever see a therapist? I've seen a therapist consistently since the 6th grade. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. I used to not be, but it's a fear I've developed over time for no apparent reason. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Are you a jealous person? I was literally just thinking about this yesterday how much I hate how I've developed a jealous and envious side. It's not a feeling I used to experience like at all, so it's very uncomfortable to feel. When is your birthday? February 5th. What are you listening to right now? A John Wolfe playthrough of The Sinking City. It's really interesting and is making me wanna read Lovecraft books, haha. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? Probably at some point. Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? No. What is the most important thing to you? My mental health. Do you like whip cream? NO. The taste is fine, but I can't handle the texture of it. Are you close to your mother? Very. Are you close to your father? Yeah, but not as close as I am with my mother. Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks? Yeah, I stay barefoot. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Yessss, I love them. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? Ew, no. Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Probably the Great Wall. Have you ever written a poem? I've written loads. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK no. Never, ever, EVER. what is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate barbecue sauce. Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? As a family? Maybe Alaska. What do you think is a good theme for a prom? Um, maybe princesses and princes? It sounds cute, leave me alone. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? Not very, but somewhat. I'm always terrified to get on the scale and am also afraid I'll find out I have diabetes with how heavily it runs in my family, and I'm not exactly healthy. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. As cool as it would be, I would neeeever manage. The humidity would murder me. Have you ever created a website? Yeah, a few. Ever thought about writing a book? Yeah. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? I don't think so, but I have nightmares ALL the time where I'm fighting to defend myself. Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Daydreams? Oh, yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? STUFFY. Having a runny nose surely isn't fun either, but at least you can have tissues handy. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? 100% sick to your stomach. I do nooot respond well to stomach pain. Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? Not at all. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? No. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Sara or Mom. Would you consider yourself to be emo? I don't care for stereotypes, I'm whatever. Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I love metal, and my favorite artist is of course Ozzy Osbourne. What is your current desktop picture? My favorite picture of my late dog Teddy. Thick or thin blanket? I like thick ones. Cozier. Who are your favorite bands? Everyone knows my #1 is Ozzy, so I'll list some of my others that just fall behind him (in no order): Metallica, Otep, Marilyn Manson, Korn, In This Moment, Powerwolf, Motionless In White, Rammstein, A Day to Remember, Cradle of Filth, Mother Mother... There's a lot, really. How do you mark through your word search puzzles? It depends on what I have at my disposal, really. I think typically I would just circle the words with a pencil, but I'd prefer to use a highlighter. Have you ever sewn something? No. What did you eat for dinner last night? Mom made shrimp scampi with a side of white rice. It was delicious. Ever been grounded? If so, for what? Yeah, on multiple occasions. I think the longest was when I ran away from home. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No; I've only seen the first one with Tyler. I did, however, have the video game as a kid, and I LOVED it. I could never beat the final stage, though. :( When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Months ago with my niece. She was hooked on playing Uno with me because I always let her win. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? Omg yes, I LOVE it. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Have you ever eaten a bug? No. Do you like pranking people? No. Did you ever take a cooking class in school? No. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Do you use Skype? Only to talk to Sara. Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? Definitely not. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Two are. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I'd rather not because it'll really set off my PTSD. Have you ever cheated on a test? Nope. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? I read A LOOOOOT as a kid. I was a total bookworm. When was the last time you were scared? Excluding in nightmares that I don't remember, uhhh probably back when my PHP therapist surprised me by whipping out a poem I'd written and sharing it in front of the whole group. It wasn't the "bad" kind of scared, but I sure did feel fear. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" has always been #1. There's this '80s synthwave remix of the song that I adorrrreeee. Can you speak binary? Nope. Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? I've dealt with hurricanes all my life and they don't terrify me NEARLY as much as the mere idea of a tornado, so. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? None that were mine personally, but coincidentally, I didn't like two dogs my little sister had. The first one was just mildly annoying, and as much as I hate admitting it, I literally hated her last dog. When was the last time you saw hail? Maybe like... a month ago or something like that? Time is kinda blurry for me on this. We had an absolute downpour of hail one morning, then just... nothing. What is on your mind right this second: I have this at-home sleep study tonight and I'm pretty much obsessing over "what if I don't have a nightmare?" when, for ONCE, I want/need myself to. To be real, I don't know exactly what will change in my life if I do have a sleep apnea diagnosis or something that we're not already doing, but. Mom more than anyone just wants professionals to see that something is seriously wrong and needs fixing. Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Both have them, yeah. I think I call Venus "Miss Venus" more than her real name, then she's also "baby girl," "pretty," "beautiful girl," etc. I call Roman just "butt" a lot, haha, then there's "son," "Mama's boy," "bud"... When was the last time you shaved your legs? Not since last October. Nobody sees my legs, so I just don't care. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if I'm actually interested in the food. Do you like boys with long hair? That's actually my preference. Do you like rootbeer? It's not insufferable, but I'm not really a fan. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic. Do you have faith in yourself? What a question to end it on, 'cuz I don't have a fuckin' clue these days.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''down in the park'' by marilyn manson

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

ohhh you have experience! i do too! we will be legendary thiefs!

but what is it with kids and stealing teaching supplies? coz my only stealing experience is these cute little notes my primary school teacher had. they were pink/blue and the pink ones were cat shaped and the blue ones sheep shaped. and since i've always been a cat person i used to sometimes steal the cat shaped notes, not for anything really but just to bring home and put them on my table. my little sister recently found one between the pages of a book!

i mean i guess you could also count the time when i accidentally stole some tomatoes but i don't think that counts. because i felt super bad when i noticed so i went back and paid for them. the cashier just about died laughing while i was mortified!

the fact that your hair colour grows out quickly when you have short hair is probably one of its best perks! because mine takes sooo long. and i change my mind about what colour i want them to be so often that my hair just constantly feels like straw (is that an expression i can use in english when talking about hair? basically its very very damaged) i wish i could have short hair but it does not suit me at all :// i had it cut to shoulder lenght once and then realised that maybe lets not repeat that (are you seeing a pattern? the short hair, then the pink hair.. i wonder what's next. maybe I should get a mullet), so i guess i'm sticking to my long damaged hair for now

that's probably the other con of the pandemic - all the hairdressers are closed (not that i would go if they weren't closed, because that's not ok with the numbers we have). the whole not being able to see people should probably affect me more than it does. and i definitely agree that it's nicer to have the option to go out whenever you want and wherever you want to go but i'm mostly ok with sitting at home i guess. i'm just so bored with my washed out red that i have been considering buying hair dye and dyeing it myself. which is NOT a good idea because i either want to go green or bright red (it was a dark red just now so it wasn't bleached) and that involves bleaching. which i should not do unless i want to upload a video to youtube called "dyeing my hair red: epic fail - i went bald"

awesome! heck yeah! we’ll be number one on the thief most wanted list! or perhaps...not on there at all...for they simply can’t prove we ever existed, we’re that good.

I mean for me I thought the counters were pretty and I wanted them at home so I. took some home. thievery was clearly not a concept I understood at such a young age. I’ve always been a cat person too but the sheep ones sound very rad. I would’ve taken one of each like I was selecting items at a store sdhfskdf. I’m so sorry to primary teachers who have to deal with this. I think my counters are in a butter container in the bottom of a big chest in my room. Maybe I should go offer them back to my primary school sfkhskdf. 

okay well if we’re being completely honest then one time in I think year 3, I took a feather from my schoolbag and put it in someone else’s bag during morning tea. And when class started back up and everyone came inside I tried to claim someone had stolen it because it was missing! And so the teacher made everyone search their bags in front of her until it was found in another person’s bag and they were like no, I didn’t steal it, I swear! of course they didn’t because I was the one that did this but the evidence certainly pointed towards them being the thief. Anyway my teacher knew something was up because she was like well then...guess I’ll have to go check the security cameras and I panicked I was like oh n o. they’re gonna find me out (we didn’t actually HAVE security cameras but I didn’t know that). so I confessed to her...well, kind of. I said an older boy had forced me to do it, I didn’t want to! But he made me! And then the teacher made me point him out so I selected a random year 7 or 8 boy and claimed it was him. Which, looking back, my teacher definitely knew I was lying, but I thought I’d escaped that time. It was kind of theft. from myself. I do not recall my reasons for doing this and I’d like to think that’s the most trouble I’ve ever gotten myself into, I have been nothing but good since then. That is much less honest than the tomatoes though.

It is a massive perk for sure! I think I first heard the description of straw hair in a fairytale though I can’t remember which...still, I know what you mean. I always hate it when my hair is an odd texture, I can’t stand hair spray or essentially any hair products because of that so I’m glad it grows fast. I first cut my hair when I was donating it to the cancer society and that landed me with shoulder-length hair, it just happened to turn out that way after 30cm was gone, and I was like hm. no. This ain’t it. Long hair also didn’t really suit me though I don’t think, or at least in my eyes it felt weird. I was about to assume no hair suited me but well, I just needed to try a looooot shorter before I found the one. listen. life is short, might as well try some bad haircuts and colours and styles out of curiosity. hair grows back and you can redye it and stuff... it’s fine. it’ll fix itself eventually. -me talking to my hairdresser after requesting something they’re clearly hesitant about

Oh that did suck when we were under lockdown. I was overdue to get a haircut when lockdown suddenly started so that was another month or so before I could see a hairdresser...it got a little chaotic in that time, I was sooo glad to finally get it cut again. I haven’t dyed my hair this year though, I almost did but then I decided I wanted to get a number 2 all over (out of curiosity lmao) so I figured I’d skip it for the time being. When it grows out though...maybe I’ll go back to the dye. It’s actually really funny, one time my usual hairdresser recommended bleaching my hair at home before coming in to get it dyed because the bleach was the most expensive part of the appointment and I was like. I would burn my scalp. I do not trust myself with bleach. That is a terrible idea. I will simply continue to save up the money for whenever I want to get it done. If anything I’d get it bleached professionally then dye it myself at home. The opposite way. Anyway I’ll be sure to point brad mondo to that video sdfksdfsl

#i tried to say thief bi most wanted list like fbi but that just sounds like my sexuality sdflhjksdhf #i have told that feather story before on here i'm pretty sure but every time...... #every time i feel like i'm exposing my greatest sin #IT WAS NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT #i'd like to think i grew up to know the difference between right and wrong #maybe #i used to have uhhhh what the fuck is it called #i can't remember. like a mouthguard. I had to sleep in it to a) stop me from grinding my teeth if I did #and b) try and help widen my jaw bc I could barely open it #anyway I had to clean it each morning with bleach mixed with something if I remember correctly #and I was terrified to even pick up the bleach #you think i'm gonna use that on my HAIR by MYSELF? #no way dude #someone just knocked at the door and i was like don't cough don't cough don't cough #i'm 90% sure it's allergies not a viral bug now but THEY don't know that #Anonymous

[cakes-books-and-a-cat]

Part 1.

As a way to avoid frustration (about constantly failing my job) and stress (with freakingly stubborn almost-seven-year-old and thirty-five-year-old in the household) I decided to start this blog. Because, how else do I remind myself of what I _actually_ enjoy in life (except for dumb scrolling Facebook and getting even more frustrated).

Recently, I had a looooot to deal with, physically and psychologically. And, of course, the question of how to get some distraction was on the foreground.

I always thought, any given minute in life should be productive (in this way or other), and no grief and no life drama was an excuse. Even when I was procrastinating, it must have been creative. (Whatever it is: reading, cooking, painting, making shopping lists, learning new languages, making new friends, grooming the cats.) Did I really get energy and inspiration from escaping to these remote fields, or I was just hunting that satisfaction feeling (of how great I am) without getting an actual relief? I guess, both...

But this time I couldn't even start thinking of going back to watercolor painting (which I did a lot in the last months), even though one piece was still stuck unfinished to my desk. I couldn't do languages; and a bare thought of seeing ANY people would bring nausea.

I went to the local library. It was my last hope. I always get so light-headed when surrounded by books! I took two thrillers in British style by Charlotte Link, one Sue Townsend, and two cookbooks. I couldn't take more because of the give-away box on the ground floor, which offered stuff I just couldn't leave there (like biographies of random French poets and of Jacqueline du Pré).

Charlotte Link was okay for a page-turner (primarily because of a gloomy high moor English landscape), but, you know, you shouldn't read two books of the same author in a row. Even if I could literally NEVER guess who is the killer, in this case I didn't even want to know. But I finished it (because I already made an entry to my book-reading-list and because it just felt so good to be somewhere else than my reality).

My enthusiasm with the Easy British Cookbook didn't go unnoticed by the thirty-five-year-old. First, he said to put it to down while we are having such a nice summer Sunday breakfast on the balcony. We should be concentrating on Here and Now more, he said. (I seemed to be enjoying the book more than I was supposed to be enjoying the sun and the company.)

Then, I asked him to pick a recipe. (Actually, I wanted to make scones, but since it's not so easy to find any clotted cream in Berlin supermarkets, I decided to make something else.) So, I was peeling potatoes for a dull child-friendly fish-fingers-&Co lunch, and hoping for some desert to look forward to.

After browsing for approximately 20 seconds he picked "White and Black Puddings". At that moment, literally anything would be just fine with me. It said: "An individual white chocolate sponge pudding, baked with a hidden centre of molten chocolate and served with cream, is perfect for any special occasion. It is very important to use the best-quality white and dark chocolate you can find."

Ok, looks like we have all the ingredients, he said. And then he read: "melt the chocolate filling, stir in the cream, pour into the ice cube tray...hm hmhm... freeze for at least 1 hour...hmhmhm... melt the white chocolate as above, leave to cool...hmhmhmh... beat the butter, beat in the sugar, eggs, CAREFULLY FOLD IN THE FLOUR... hmmmmmmmm... spoon into the prepared moulds, put dark chocolate cubes into the centre....."

He stopped reading: "God, it´s just way too much work, you need to produce at least three different actions with hours of freezing in between. We will have to start cooking dinner by the time we are finished with this! No, I am out of it!" He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with my way too complicated British Cookbook.

Yes, mine, because I loved it so much I asked my cousin from London who was visiting shortly before to bring me a copy. German Amazon doesn't have a clue about British food (and I mean it!).

So I gave up. Usually, my husband is a baker and I am a cooker. I own more than 20 cookbooks and developed roughly about 10 dishes all my family members would eat without making a sour face. Not an awesome ratio, but at least I am allowed to add SOME chili pepper into SOME dishes. Ok, basically, there is an Indian cookbook (from which 8 dishes come) and all others cookbooks (which delivered no worthy recipes whatsoever). The 2 other dishes are lasagna and fish fingers.

My husband, to the contrary, has no cookbooks (Okay, he got a Jamie Oliver as a present once, but the amount of fancy ingredients in any recipe makes it almost impossible to use). Traditionally, he bakes two cakes, an apple pie and a cherry pie. But none of them my daughter would approve. She is not much of a cake-eater. Eventually we found out she might take one or two bites of a Norwegian carrot cake. So, Papa had to add that one to his repertoire.

There is this funny thing about the carrot cake: it can absorbe just that much of olive oil (which is normally enough for ca. 20 salad dressings) and taste heavenly moist, but if it is one teaspoon too much, it tastes like fat sauerkraut. By the way, where do Norwegians have the olive oil from?

And why do I never bake? It smells heavenly and even your stubborn kid is having good time helping and anticipating. Well, there was a try for her 4-th birthday. She wished a Pirate Party, so I browsed Internet for cake ideas, and among all those fancy Pinterest-glazed-nightmares the easiest thing I found was a Treasure-Chest-Cake. It just required cutting the ready piece on two and folding those two halves. Sounded easy, but... It looked so horribly disproportional, broken and just ugly... I was frustrated, but thankfully Grandma was visiting, and she suggested covering it with melted chocolate and decorate with Smarties. It went well, kids noticed only Smarties, but since then I am not baking.

So, I went to the bedroom and sat onto the bed. It cannot be that I am not able to bake a simple (ok, not simple, but fitting into one page of instructions) desert. I managed to graduate from four universities. I gave birth to a child. I buried two parents and a cat. Finally, I successfully cook dinner on a daily basis, and only salt is sometimes missing.

I am gonna manage those deserts.

#baking #frustration #cake #recipes #english literature #literature #books & libraries #booksarelife #pie #pastry #public libraries #libraries #british #cookbook #my writing #dessert #pudding #food #food diary #tired of life #distraction #blog

[tarysande]

As I'm still suffering some Lucifer feels could you maybe write something with a looooot of cuddling and some touch starvation/aversion if you have time/want to?

Your wish is my command

This one got a little long, so it’s also on AO3.

Sublime

#

Because the sex is great—really great, better than great, great’s not really a good enough word, actually—it takes Chloe a little too long to realize that even though Lucifer looks at her like she (and not he—and yes, sometimes that still breaks her brain just a little) put the stars in the sky, even first thing in the morning when she knows she looks roughly like something the cat dragged in, he's rarely the first to initiate physical contact. When she touches his arm or his shoulder or presses her lips to whatever tantalizing patch of skin is left bare by the collar or cuff of his shirt, he always smiles. His eyes always soften. He often murmurs sweet words or tender words or words that immediately result in larger swaths of bare skin.

But, unless it’s something polite or professional, he doesn't initiate.

At first, she thinks she’s being ridiculous. Like a good detective, she goes looking for evidence. She wears sleeveless shirts, shirts that bare the nape of her neck. He raises his eyebrows and gives exaggerated leers, but that’s nothing new. She pretends to stumble. Of course, Lucifer reaches out to steady her, but as soon as she’s stable he draws his hands respectfully back again, tucking them into the pockets of his suit.

Aggravatingly respectfully.

Finally, when she’s certain she’s not imagining things—her own evidence backed by unspecific but illuminating conversations with Linda and Maze and even Ella—she makes sure she and Lucifer have an evening free where they won’t be disturbed. She knows he’s more relaxed at his penthouse, surrounded by the things he has so painstakingly and specifically chosen to bring him pleasure or joy or comfort, so she meets him there. He sits at the piano, playing a melody she’s never heard before, an untouched glass of whiskey gleaming in the golden light, an unlit cigarette forgotten in a crystal ashtray.

“Detective!” He smiles. His eyes soften. Her heart skips the same beat it always skips when the full weight of having the entirety of his attention sinks home. His powers may not work on her the way they work on others, but he doesn’t need them to make her knees weak. “I wasn't expecting you. Weren’t you meant to have the child tonight?”

“Dan’s got her,” she says, shrugging out of her coat. She’s wearing a loose silk shirt that shifts, impossibly soft, against her skin. One of Lucifer’s eyebrows lifts and the smile turns hungry; she realizes she’s backlit and he can probably see the shape of her body beneath it. Rolling her eyes, she helps herself to a glass of wine. “I just... I guess I wanted to talk.”

Because she’s turned to face him again, she catches the flash of something she can only name terror cross his face.

“No,” she says at once, crossing to the piano. “Lucifer, no. Not like that.”

And though the smile returns almost before she notices it was gone, his eyes remain wary. She doesn’t miss the subtle stiffness in his posture or the way his fingers twitch before reaching for his glass. She’s seen children with that look. She’s seen beaten dogs with it. She hates seeing it on one of the faces most precious to her.

“Oh, Lucifer,” she breathes, almost a sigh, as she feels tears sting her eyes. Before he can shift completely into the protective concern she knows so well and loves so deeply and absolutely does not want to set the tone of tonight’s conversation, she moves to his couch and sits, tucking her feet up underneath her. Instead of asking him to join her, she waits for him to decide he wants to. Of course he does. And though he sits and immediately crosses his legs and faces toward her, almost leaning into her space, she notes the hand’s breadth he’s left between them.

“Detective?” he asks, the vulnerability so palpable her breath catches again and she has to swallow hard.

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

He blinks at her, expression turning the kind of quizzical she can only describe as adorable, even though she knows how galled he’d be if she used the word.

To clarify, she says, “Not will you hold my hand. Do you want to?”

Again, an expression she knows too well from seeing it on frightened children waiting for the shouting to start, waiting for the hand in the dark or the sound of glass breaking, briefly shatters the composure he works so hard to maintain. As if worried she’s testing him—which, of course he thinks she’s testing him, oh, Lucifer—he says, “You... forgive me, Detective. Is that what you wish?”

Because she doesn’t want to hide behind her wine glass, she sets it on the table and faces him fully, palms open on her thighs. “Lucifer,” she says, careful not to let anything he might misunderstand as rejection color her tone. “I love you.” This time, she can't quite banish the tears before she blinks and they fall. “I know you love me.”

“Never in doubt,” he agrees. “Detective—”

Inhaling deeply, she says, “Yesterday, when I was standing at the bathroom sink, I saw you reach for me. I think you were going to touch the small of my back or rest your hand on the curve of my waist. I also saw you drop your hand and step back instead of doing it.”

“Did I?“ Genuine confusion knits his brow.

Gently, so gently, she continues, “This morning, at the station, your fingers brushed my wrist as you were reaching for a file at the same time I went for my coffee. You apologized.”

He drops his eyes. “If I’ve not been adequately attentive—”

“Lucifer,” she says, inching forward so their knees touch. He doesn't flinch or pull away, which she considers a win. She puts a hand against his stubbled cheek and feels the tension beneath her fingers. “That’s not what I’m saying. It’s really not. This isn’t about me. It’s about you. It’s about what you want. It’s about what you desire. Because... because I think you want things and you... stop yourself.”

“That’s hardly accurate,” he retorts, a little sharp. Defensive. She wonders how it took her so long to see the hurt beneath the acid, the innuendo, the armor. “I’ve always been quite open about what I desire. Shall we retire downstairs to see the evidence?”

She doesn’t protest or admonish him or rise to his bait. Tipping his glass back, he empties it in a single pull. She doesn’t think the high color in his cheeks is from the alcohol. A war rages within him as he decides whether he’ll stay on the couch or retreat to the bar for another drink; she can see it so clearly now that she knows what to look for. After a moment, he sets his glass down next to hers. “Of course I want to hold your hand,” he says, words still clipped and precise. “I always want to hold your hand, brush my fingers through your hair, kiss the curve of your collarbone.”

She nods. “Okay.”

His eyes search hers and he says nothing. His closed hands open, flatten. His shuddering intake of breath is audible as he abruptly closes the distance and takes her hands in his. She smiles encouragement and squeezes his fingers briefly. She’s close enough to see him swallow. After a moment, his thumbs brush the insides of her wrists. Remarkably, the gesture’s not at all sexual even though there’s no denying the frisson of sensation the light touch sends through her. Because he’s looking down at their hands, she can only see the sinfully long fringe of his eyelashes and the curve of his cheeks as he smiles.

It’s so intimate she can scarcely breathe.

She’s aware of the strength in his hands. They look so human, skin and bone and blood, but they’re also perfect. Genuinely. They’re the hands made by a God who wanted his child to pull music from any instrument he touched, both literal and metaphorical. They’re hands made by a God who left his child in the dark for eons, bereft of music, bereft of touch. She bends at the waist and kisses the back of one hand and then the other.

His thumbs pause, coming to rest against her pulse. “I never,” he begins, voice breaking a little on the final syllable. He clears his throat. “It is incredibly important to me that you never feel… used. Taken advantage of. I could not—I could not abide it.”

“Hey,” she replies. “Why not let me worry about that?”

Dampness shines in his eyes and leaves tiny stars on the ends of his eyelashes. Lifting one shoulder in a shrug she says, “When have you known me to let you get away with anything? We’re partners. Give and take. For both of us.”

A single exhaled ha is almost a laugh, though it could just as easily be a sob, and she knows it. One hand leaves hers and he cups her cheek as she’d done for him earlier. She doesn’t look away from his searching gaze, doesn’t blink, and wills him to see whatever it is he needs to see.

“I do not think,” he says with wonder, “human language has invented a word sublime enough to describe you.”

As his thumb begins the same rhythmic stroking, this time of her cheekbone, she leans into his touch.

“I—it’s...” His confusion is as adorable as his quizzical was earlier. “Very strange.”

She asks the question with her eyebrows.

“I think I would like—” Here he does laugh, a little self-deprecating, perhaps, but not self-flagellating. She's relieved to hear no secret loathing in it. “I would simply like to hold you, if I may. Chloe.”

He uses her name so rarely it always catches her off-guard. It’s music, every time; a song he sings only for her. A star, tiny and delicate and lovingly wrought, that he drops into her hand, into her heart.

She’s loath to give the God who left a son with a heart as tender as Lucifer’s alone to punish himself for eons any credit, but she does have to admit she fits into the curve of Lucifer’s body as if she was designed for it.

#

In the morning, Lucifer brings her a mug of coffee just the way she likes it. She smells buttered toast and bacon, decadent. As she murmurs a sleepy thank you, he kisses her forehead. The brush of his lips is warm, easy.

“Thank you,” she says again, and not for the coffee, as she opens her eyes.

“Thank you,” he echoes, running the backs of his fingers along her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear. “Thank you.”

#lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #deckerstar #lucifer #lucifer fic #my fic #fanfiction #asks and answers #catsarecutebutaliens #i hope this helps with the feels #save lucifer

[the-girl-with-the-blue-ukuelele]

Tagged by Tuesday

Tagged by the awesome @vintagerootsandhunterboots 💙

#1 - Nicknames - Maggie or just Gui, you choose ahah

#2 - Height - 1.63m (sorry, I'm european! but Google says it's 5'6'')

#3 - Orientation - southern europe ✌

#4 - Favorite Fruit - Watermellon since we're in summer 🍉

#5 - Favorite Season - Autumn of course, have you seen the pretty colors? 🍂

#6 - Favorite Flowers - Orchids or Daisies

#7 - Favorite Scent - Call me basic but I really love the scent of berries in general

#8 - Favorite Color - Blue/Green or pastel anything ahah

#9 - Favorite Animals - My cat of course

#10 - Coffe/Tea or Hot Chocolate - Just take me to a coffee date, come on 😂

#11 - Average Hours of Sleep - Durring college it goes from 5 to 7, in vacation it's usualy 8 or 9 ahah

#12 - Favourite Fictional Character - Hermione Granger or Willow Rosenberg (please don't make me chooooose 😅)

#13 - Number of Blankets You Sleep With - Is a lot a valid answer?

#14 - Dream Trip - I'd really love to go back to France! But the Caiman Islands sound amazing tho 🦀🌊

#15 - Blog Created - Summer 2015 maybe 😅

#16 - Number of Followers - 398 🎉

#17 - Random Fact - I don’t usualy like sad songs, but I like Julien Baker a looooot 🙌

#18 - Favorite Breakfast Food - Buy me buttered toast and a latte and I'll be yours forever 💙😂

my taggs: @the-girl-who-left @natashassunflower @adventure-travelers @shes-like-a-sunburn @l-o-g-y @bissexual-girl just curious to see your answers pals 😂

[ellenarcher]

Battle For Mewni Liveblog

(I'm a few days late because I was at D23) Marco is so upset poor baby!! "Can you be addicted to crying?" The teen sadness hotline! 😂 And Star is wearing MARCO'S HOODIE!! I love life! And she's just watching him and they're missing each other! "Why do you have to be such a cute idiot?" "They're fine. Still in their... stasis." Omg the mementos Star's dad packed! Sweet little Star! "Marco taught me a lot." I'm really excited for DuckTales but I do wish this ad wasn't in the corner the whole time. Oh snap! Star is maaaaad at her mom! Awwww omg this is getting so sad! Toffee killed Queen Butterfly's mom! 😢 Ahh now a flashback episode to Moon as a girl Star's age!! "Yelling feels really good right now!" Even as a youngin River was so sweet!! An apology meat! Looooots of crying in this movie! It's hurting me! Poor Moon has a really hard decision to make! I love her already. I feel like I recognize her voice so I'm gonna have to look up who plays her later. Ooh this is the part they showed us at the convention! With Moon sitting down with her picnic and Toffee coming out of the shadows! Oh snap Toffee can't grow his finger back! This is a lightning scar situation! Moon is a boss! And they changed the ending credits sequence and song!! 💫 Ludo thought Glossaryck was a pole! 😂 "So this is probably not one of my favorite things that's ever happened to me." Why is Glossaryck cooking pudding over the fire? (Scrape the sides) Ludo to the book: "I'll turn this car around so fast!" Now he's trying to get back together with the book! "If it's something I did..." and then "I love you, book." And Glossaryck making fun of him!! Howwwww does Alan Tudyk do that with his voice what the heck? I'm jealous! I'd love to be a voice actor! Oh snap I love me some possession! Toffee taking over Ludo's body! Glossaryck! :(((((((((((( 😢😢😢😢 This is too sad! River going crazy and having a blast when he's home alone! Marco came to visit!! And River is so happy aww!! Oh gosh the city is on fire. Ewwww a spider just crawled out of that boy's eye socket and into his mouth. "Well, I'll be dip." And telling the monster in the corn field to scram! 😂 "We're about to die, y'all!" Sweet sweet Marco taking care of his future father in law! Moon picked out outfits for River so he would know what to wear (and they're all the same)! Marco giving advice and making sure the city stays safe for the girls to come home to! 😍 "No offense King, but you're a terrible king." "We don't need magic to do extraordinary things." Aw I LOVE that!! "Fetch us our loincloths!" "What?" "You kept motioning 'come here.'" "No that means 'go away.'" Classic monster/king misunderstanding! Oh snap that ending! Ludo is here to destroy! Aw of course Star's first thought when she wakes up is of Marco! Star just punched a serpent in the face! She's awesome! ❤️ Buff Frog in his underwear oh gosh. "Ma, get with the times. Not all monsters are bad." I've probably eaten 25 peanut butter Oreos during this movie whoops. "Where dem babies at?" "Toffee not dead. Toffee inside Ludo." Oh gosh that's dirty. Ewwww Buff Frog lifting his man boob to show his Ludo tattoo. 😖 "Your daughter is very strange." "Thank you." All of Buff Frog's games are about staging coups, destroying castles, and killing the queen! 😂 It's not awkward or anything! I love a classic distraction scene. I also love that Moon and Buff Frog are learning that the stereotypes and prejudices they were taught as children aren't actually true, and that they're not that different after all. Katrina can talk! She's adorable! "Sometimes you just gotta sneak into the club and go dancing." "I feel ya, girl." "Don't worry." "I'm VERY worried." "She's gonna die." I love how all of these episodes have classic endings like that! 😂 "We don't want your stuff! We don't like you. Nobody likes you, dude." I want to talk to a king like that! Poor Marco! "I'm bad at everything." No you're not sweetie! This show is ridiculous I love it so much! Ludo just buttered his forehead. "The dungeon has air conditioning?" "It's a dungeon, not a torture chamber." Hahaha Marco scolding River like he's his child! "River! Did you eat the butter, River?" "I used to be king." Yayyyyy Patrick Stump is back!! That makes me VERY happy! "How'd I ever live without a solid gold toilet?" "As artists, our job is to comment on the world around us, not 'doing stuff.' A heavy burden, yes, but that what it means to be an artist." "We all know the mine is an artistic genius! *angrily whispering* Genius!" Marco is the cutest! "You all make me sick." Wooooo they got the key! "You guys really had me fooled." "No, we really do hate each other." "Now, we fight." Gosh I love Marco so much! Ludo shooting the choir into the sky because they were off key. "Singing with the angels." 😂 OH MY GOSH YESSS Star came back!! For her dad! "You're talking to your hand, dude." Awwww Marco taking off Star's headband so he could hug her tighter! 😍 "He is really good at ruining people's lives with songs." "Marco you've never looked cuter in that beret." Whatever happened to Marco's two friends from season one? "Hello, princess." I love how menacing that is! I am loving this music right now as Toffee takes over Ludo's body! Oh my gosh WHERE IS STAR?? This hurts me so so much! To see Moon and Marco both crying and fighting for Star! More amazing music as Star dives for the magic! This is such an emotional and intense episode!! 😱😱 And Star crying underwater! And struggling to breathe as she sobs! 😭😭 This is heart wrenching! MORE INCREDIBLE MUSIC! Star is dipping down! She's coming back to life! She's killing Toffee oh my word! Ew his gooey disfigured body is disturbing! "Only I know how this turns out." "Turns out you're dead." Oh no! What is happening to Moon? She's in a lot of pain! I'm guessing it's because the spell to hurt Toffee didn't work? Ooh Eclipsa is breaking out!! What an amazing start to the season! I can't wait to see what happens next! I can't believe we have to wait all the way until November for new episodes! That's going to be very hard! Here's to then! 💫

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #starco #moon butterfly #star butterfly #marco diaz #ludo #toffee