#looking at the story objectively both those songs make a lot of sense & work well to show a failing relationship

[seth-shitposts]

I need to ask this, as I'm listening to the defectors au playlist, who did you think of when you put Billie Eilish's "what was I made for?" Because it makes me think of Kallus slowly unraveling after Lasan and realising just what kind of government he put his whole trust in to do the right thing, or is it Ezra dealing with his feelings after being essentially abandonded by yet another parental figure? and then having to battle with those feelings after Twilight of the Apprentice? what were your thoughts on this because it's just plagueing my mind right now

(What a motherfucking coincidence you ask this because i was thinking over it not even an hour ago-) (and thank you so much again for making the playlist, i have been listening to it every day since youve created it-)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING- (warning, I have rambled nonsensically a lot, apologies-) (edit: FUCK ALRIGHT- I got distracted and accidentally swiped out of the app without saving so I have to rewrite it-)

The answer is both.

Now, I did first think of Kallus for it, but I've been think of a lot of Ezra during it as well.

This is a story with multiple moving parts, some songs are applied to more than one character or instance. And some songs are stretched over the course of an arc, whether that arc is as long as a few years or as short as an instant. This one is not an exception to that.

In Kallus’s case, it's part of his slow crash and burn with his faith to the empire, as well as period of time that follows after Lasan. As time goes on and events happen and seeds take root, there are moments. Moments of creeping doubt and dread.

Kallus has multiple goals, objectives, near the beginning of the story. The established duty to the empire; being a part of doing something far greater than himself. Making a difference for those who need it across the galaxy. The decision to take care of Ezra; a direct impact. Not taking action and not taking initiative can and would be just as detrimental as taking a misaction. And then his choice to help Mira and Ephraim; he thinks they're simply misguided or a miscommunication led to a severe misunderstanding. Because they very much have the same desire to help others and to help uplift that got him to join the empire.

As the years go on, it all starts to wear harder on him, especially in moments.

Mmm I look forward to writing out that in one particular scene, as Kallus is watching Ezra filling a room with such joy during a party, such light-hearted warmth, Kallus has to step away from the event for a moment. Because it's been about three years and Ezra is growing and it's so fast, too fast, and Mira and Ephraim are missing it. He's been fighting tooth and nail for them to be here and they aren't because despite all the work being done on both ends, the appeal for their situation just got pushed again. And now they've lost three years of watching Ezra grow into such a bright kid and it's leaving a sour taste in Kallus’s mouth.

At one point, he starts to realize that he doesn't think they actually plan on releasing the bridgers, but he realizes that the day before he is shipped off to lasan. Lasan cements the cumulation of the past five years to him. Everything he's dedicated himself to, he was lied to, led on. A d he complied to it. This, all round him- the smoke and ash and dead silence, is what has come from his dedication to the empire.

---

And then with Ezra, near the end of the five years, he senses a dread a sadness that hangs in the air.

He feels it too. Because even though he sees his parents and that they are safe, it's not the same. They aren't home. Kallus doesn't know that he knows, but Ezra knows that Kallus has been working almost every day to see through to the release of his parents. Something about it has made Kallus more frustrated than before.

Ezra continues on though, because Kallus has never once broken his word to Ezra. At least not until he returns after a mission that took over two weeks because it was across the whole galaxy. Kallus returns home to Lothal, and everything changes over night. Kallus finally realizes what the empire is but he isn't leaving, and he isn't leaving with Ezra. And Ezra knows exactly why even though Kallus still isn't saying it. And Ezra wants to ask for him not to return to the empire, but he knows that Kallus isn't going to leave without his parents, and he wants his parents back. He wants his parents and Kallus.

So he does as Kallus instructs, but something still pulls at him. He's in a bit of a daze by the time he makes it to the port where he's supposed to meet Tseebo. He sees Tseebo for a split moment and then he doesn't. He doesn't know where Tseebo ran off to, he doesn't know how long Kallus is going to take finding his parents, he doesn't know if kallus is going to find them or of they're going to come back.

In this moment he feels like he's lost everything he never even had to begin with. His parents, only ever having seen them in the walls of an imperial compound. Tseebo, who was only ever present to assist and is still so fearful that he choose to run after his parents and Kallus were depending on him, and is the one person Kallus would actually listen to. And Kallus. Who was always so dedicated him but was never really his, the man's faith to the empire has been dying but now that it's gone Ezra still doesn't have him because now he's run off to go find his parents.

And this grief hits him all over again when Kanan distants himself. And Ezra feels that it's his fault because of how trusting he was of Maul. Kanan got hurt and lost his sight and he's pulling away from Ezra and no matter what Ezra tries, there's nothing he's able to do to stop Kanan from slipping away and Ezra can't do this again.

I hope this made sense and I hope it answers your question! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING I LOVED IT.

#star wars rebels #swr #defectors au #alexsandr kallus #ezra bridger #star wars

[katescomsformakers]

Week Five: Article Reflections

Article One; https://theconversation.com/the-memory-code-how-oral-cultures-memorise-so-much-information-65649?utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR3QCLAmBpW4EP5jCj6apQ2Wf9sLwTv1yxW4wT7QEBL1SUObjCybVRRo_Kw

This article explores how Aboriginal Australians stored knowledge thousands of years ago and how it was passed down from generation to generation. The researcher Lynne Kelly discovered that this knowledge was passed down through song, dance, story and place. The Aboriginal people would hold ceremonies in sacred places in which important things were discussed. I found it interesting how they used star patterns and songs to navigate while travelling long distances for these ceremonies. The Euahlayi people memorised star maps and created songs for each part of the land they walked across - each star being associated with a certain landmark of their place. I find it so inspiring that these people used purely oral communication rather than drawings or marks to store such large quantities of rich information over such a long period of time. This way of remembering information can be used today as well - associating some words or a story with objects to create a memory space is such an effective way to store knowledge without the use of technology.

Article Two; "Richard Sennett on Making"

Key Ideas:

How our focus shifts from when we are making something vs when around other people. The change from being self absorbed and only focusing on what we are doing to being aware of others presence and focusing on interacting with others. I relate this idea to when you're designing something for an intended purpose. Most of the time, when designing we are focused purely on how we'll make it, what it will look like etc. However, we should also think about what the implications are and consequences of our design are. Integrating that idea of "how will this been seen by others" is an important question to ask while designing. "Who is the target audience?" "Is it accessible" etc. Balancing both our own wishes for the design and also the needs of others is a key mindset to learn in this field.

My Own Experience;

"People who are competent in verbal symbols are thought to be more gifted than those whose development occurs through physical or manual experience. " This idea states that those who speak as a way of communicating are prioritised or "taken more seriously" than those who use art and non verbal forms of displaying ideas or knowledge. I agree with this idea as personally I am a hands on, visual learner, a lot of the time finding reading and listening as a less effective way of understanding a subject. Sennett then goes on to say that; "There is a terrible blindness in modern society to people who work with their hands, and this leads to class differentiation and even contempt for manual work." Which I relate to, as most schools from a primary to university use talking and note taking as their primary way of teaching, which provides little room for visual learners to flourish.

Another Idea:

The idea of having a sense of pride within yourself for your craftsmanship. In our society, craftsmanship is not seen as a "desirable" trade or career path, as a lot of the time it does not have great monetary rewards. Sennett discusses this idea; "The way the capitalist economy is designed sacrifices the logic of craft, which results in poorly made objects and a degraded physical environment." Many can become discouraged because of this system, resulting in lack of motivation and no advancement in skills. In some cases, the self fulfilment we gain when creating something we can be proud of is enough for us. When money is not available, we look for other available sources of self wealth. Today, a lot of young people seeking out a career in the creative arts or design space are told it's "useless", as "most people can't make a career out of it". However if we if we pursue what we love doing and apply all of our skills, learn, make connections and reach that self-fulfilment, I believe it is absolutely the career we should choose.

[narilily]

THE FIVE SENSES

Hear:

How would you describe the sound of your muse’s voice? As nerdy as it sounds, Nari has been told that she sounds a bit like a Disney princess, not just because of the things that she says, but because of the way that she says them. She has a melodic, light voice that’s bouncy and girly and full of fun.

What sorts of music do they like to listen to? Anything from girly pop to acoustic singer-songwriter. Generally she leans towards happy, airy, light music that makes people feel good, and also... rain sounds sometimes if she can’t sleep at night.

If they had to pick three songs to listen to for the rest of their life, what would those three songs be? Ohh, tough choice for her. She Knows by Meiko would be number one. Flowers by James Spaite and Dandelions by Ruth B. Sense a pattern much?

What’s their favorite sound? Any sort of nature sound, to be honest. Nari loves the sound of a light drizzle on a summer afternoon, birds chirping in the early spring time, and even the sound of bees buzzing when it’s that time of year.

Their least favorite sound? Although she recognizes the necessity of it when it comes to farming, she’s not big on the sound of farm machinery. It’s very loud in the countryside!

Touch:

What’s one of your muse’s favorite textures? A very texture-centric person, Nari admittedly loves the texture of cotton and soft, plus fabrics. She also loves the soft, velvety feeling of flower petals, and wishes she could feel that against her in every way.

What does their skin feel like? Smooth? Rough? Very smooth; Nari takes good care of herself. Although she’s not super keen on wearing a lot of make-up, she has a good skincare routine, and moisturizes all parts of her body, as well as always wearing sunscreen.

Do they like maintaining a skincare routine? Yes! It’s a good part of every night and every morning, making sure that she does everything on her checklist to keep herself looking and feeling good.

Are there any textures that your muse doesn’t like? Why? Not in particular, but she did have a few bad experiences with splinters when she was working on her house years ago, so she tries to avoid too much rough wood!

How often do they clip their nails? Do they bite them? Working with her hands a lot both in fashion and also in plants, Nari doesn’t keep her nails super long, but they are always neat and polished, or at least treated so that they don’t get dirty and yellowed. She isn’t much of a nail biter, also for similar reasons -- working in a nursery, you never want to accidentally ingest some fertilizer!

Sight:

Is their vision good, or do they need glasses or contacts? Good vision! She has a pair of reading glasses, and a pair to see up close when sewing, just in case she needs it, though.

Do they like to use their glasses or contacts if they need them? Honestly, she doesn’t mind, but knows it might be a different story if she had to wear them all the time.

What is your muse’s visual aesthetic? (eg: outfits, colors, etc.) Nari wears what Nari wants to wear; sometimes that means light, bright colors, sometimes dark and moody. She wears a lot of florals and flowy clothing, though, loves looking as high fashion as possible, even on a budget. Admittedly, she does have a few pieces in her closet that cost a pretty penny, though! Every girl deserves that.

What normal looking objects appear ugly to your muse? Nari is one of those people who can truly see the good and beauty in absolutely everything, so it’s hard to find things that are ‘ugly’ in her mind. Uh... but there are some bugs that she could probably do without, no matter how much ‘good’ they do for the world around them.

Are they good or bad at winking? Good! But it’s not really something she does a lot, unless it’s in jest.

Smell:

What does your muse smell like? Nari uses a lot of really light, floral body sprays when she uses any at all, which means she normally smells like a field of flowers. And she honestly wouldn’t have it any other way!

Favorite candle scent? Again, floral! Anything that smells really light and natural, though -- she doesn’t like the candles that are overwhelming and smell very artificial. In her opinion, it’s just too much.

What sorts of shampoo / body wash scents do they like? Rose scented body wash is always a personal favorite of hers, same with her shampoo. But again, as usual, floral.

What’s their favorite smell? The wildflower field when it’s in full bloom. Walking through that is easily one of her favorite things to do, and ways to pass the time.

What’s their least favorite smell? Dead plants. They don’t give off a very pleasant odor at all, no matter what someone thinks about them.

Taste:

If your muse had a taste, how would you describe it? Sugary sweet, without a doubt! Probably like a sweet candy that lasts a long time, adds a bounce to your step, and makes your whole day a little brighter for having gotten to have a taste.

Are they more of a sweet or salty person? Sweet, for sure! Not that she minds the salty stuff! But when she wants a snack, she’s more than likely going to reach for something sweet over something salty.

What flavor lip balm do they usually use? Vanilla lip scrub is her go to, every single time. And when she’s just using balm, she does tend to go with fruit flavored things; something that’s going to have a refreshing kick to it, that makes the lips feel even better.

Do they lick, or do they bite? Probably lick more than bite!

What’s their favorite meal to make / eat? Dumplings -- any kind, any time. Ever since learning how to make them, Nari has jumped at the chance, no matter what the holiday or occasion, and loves introducing her non-Korean friends to traditional Korean dumplings, too.

#merrockdevelopment #all about nari

[jikookiekosmos]

When I Dream of You || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, husband!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Jungkook always imagined being with you was like a dream come true, and after years of pining he can finally say it’s all he could have ever hoped for and more. But what happens now when Jungkook’s dreams about you no longer have a happy ending?

➥Genre: established relationship, (somewhat?) heavy angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~6.2k (little much for a drabble i know, sorry)

➥Content warnings: story mostly told from jungkook’s POV, jungkook has a nightmare, feelings of insecurity and anxiety, mentions of harassment (not much), yoongi to the rescue (seriously he’s the voice of reason i love him), making out, grinding, slight hair pulling, riding on top, reader is in control (and jk is happy about it), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around a year after the events of OFY. (I also mentioned this in the post for OFY but for those who haven’t read it, the Kun in the story isn’t referring to any other irl person specifically, it was just a name I chose to make the initial story easier to write.)

As always, thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for being so supportive of me and motivating me to keep writing when there are times I feel like I shouldn’t. And for also being my beta-reader and just generally an amazing person, one of the best friends I could ever ask for.

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait - ~6 months after OFY

Stay With Me - a few months after this dream drabble

I know this is the most angsty thing I’ve written so far (update: Stay With Me now holds this title), but I got attached to these characters and wanted to tell more of their story so here we are. I basically wrote this all in one sitting because I’ve had this idea in my head for a little while and I was excited to get it out. I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn​​

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Jungkook was dreaming again.

It was a dream he’d had many times now, and it always started the same way. He watched as you appeared in the doorway of the chapel, ready to make your trek down the aisle.

You looked dazzling in your dress, and through the thin veil that covered your face, Jungkook could see the brilliant smile you wore, which caused him to break out into one of his own. Each step that brought you closer to him made his heart race faster, and it didn’t take long for you to finally be in front of him.

Well…somewhat in front of him.

He could only watch as at the last second, you turned slightly and were now standing in front of Kun, the man you were originally meant to marry. Jungkook’s stomach twisted with fear as he observed Kun lift your veil over your head and take your hands in his as you both stared into each other’s eyes. You, looking at Kun with all the love in the world, because that’s just how you were. And Kun, looking back at you, with a sinister expression that made Jungkook feel dizzy.

He opened his mouth to object, to speak, to do something but no sound would come out. Everyone around him that had gathered to see you get married were either oblivious to Jungkook’s obvious distress, or they just didn’t care.

They weren’t here for him, after all. They were here for you, in the same way that he was here for you, too.

When his legs could finally move without crumpling underneath him, he walked over to stand next to you and Kun as he tried to reach out to you. He couldn’t touch you, though, because it was like there was an invisible wall in between the two of you now. A wall he could still see through but couldn’t reach past. He moved back at the realization, only to be met with something similar hitting his back.

Jungkook whirled around and was met with the same thing, now surrounding him on all sides, trapping him inside some sort of box. A box where he could still see what was happening but couldn’t stop it despite what he did. He felt suffocated.

He was shouting from inside his new prison, banging on the walls, trying to make any sort of sound that would reach you. And he knew you couldn’t hear him; you didn’t spare even one glance his way. But he still had to try. The longer he let this go on, the greater the chance of losing you grew to be.

And the possibility of that, of losing you in any capacity, was something he couldn’t bear to even think about.

Jungkook could hear everything coming from your mouth. The cheerfulness in your voice was usually something he loved to hear under any given circumstance. But in this case, it was threatening to tear him apart. He listened dismally as the two of you started reciting your vows to each other.

And his heart started to break when he heard the words from the letter he’d tried to give you all those years ago. Tears were forming in his vision as he listened to Kun rattle off the words he’d written for you. Words he never got to claim as his own until much later, when it was almost too late.

He could feel his heart shatter at the sight of the breathtaking smile on your face as you two finished your vows, moving now to kiss each other and seal the deal.

He tried once more to call out to you, but any sound he could’ve possibly made would’ve been immediately drowned out by the cheering from everyone around you.

His legs gave out as he knelt down to the floor, helplessly staring at you as you linked your arm with Kun’s to walk back down the aisle as a newly married couple. It took the last bit of his strength to look up as you passed, and you didn’t notice him.

But Kun did.

Kun paused in front of Jungkook, still separated by that invisible wall, and he grinned. It was the kind of grin you’d expect from someone who’s sole purpose in life was to sabotage others’ happiness. Which, ironically enough, is exactly what Kun was now known for.

All Jungkook could do was look on while you left the chapel, followed by the many guests who had gathered for the ceremony. Only when everyone was gone was he able to move about freely, but he opted to remain seated on the floor there instead as the chapel slowly started to fill with darkness once the doors closed.

Jungkook awoke with a start, bolting upright and inhaling a sharp intake of air. He was covered in sweat that dampened his hair and made it stick to his forehead. His breathing was shallow, and it took him a few seconds to remember where he was.

He was at home, in his bed. It was nighttime and sleeping next to him was a figure who’d remained undisturbed by his sudden movement.

He cautiously looked over at your sleeping form. You were turned on your side, facing away from him, breathing peacefully. His eyes softened at the sight and he could feel his heartbeat start to slow down into a pace much less frantic.

He pushed his hair out of his face as he took a deep breath. He knew he should probably wake you, especially since you always told him to do so whenever he had nightmares. Lately, he hadn’t been having any bad dreams, so it had been a while since he last had to rouse you from your slumber.

He reached an arm out, only for it to gently fall by his side. He hated waking you unless it was really important, because he knew you sometimes had trouble sleeping, and this included falling back asleep if something made you wake up during the middle of the night. You’d been especially exhausted lately, what with the new exciting event that had suddenly happened in both of your lives.

Well, exciting wasn’t really the right word. Terrifying fit way better.

After managing to avoid Kun for over an entire year, he somehow turned up at your new place of employment one day, surprising you and frightening you all at the same time. He told the staff at the front desk that he was an ‘old friend, here to congratulate you on your new position.’ And they believed it, so they let him come up to your office unsupervised.

Let’s just say when Jungkook heard about that little ordeal, he was not pleased at all.

Ever since then, Kun had been borderline harassing you, even sometimes going as far as to try and talk to Jungkook during his shifts at the bar. That lasted for all of maybe 2 encounters before Kun found himself banned and unable to return.

You both thought he was out of your life for good after the break-up, but he was proving to be much more of a plague than you or Jungkook initially imagined. So yes, these recent events had maybe been causing Jungkook to have intrusive thoughts once again that translated themselves into the one recurring nightmare he used to have shortly after the two of you got together.

The nightmare of him losing you. You obviously didn’t end up marrying Kun, but you came a lot closer to it than Jungkook liked. And that wasn’t because he’d been pining after you for years; he could’ve dealt with that, if it ended with you being happy. It was more so the reason that your relationship with Kun hadn’t seemed genuine on his end, and Jungkook wanted better for you than that.

Sometimes he wondered if he was the right one to give you what you deserved.

He shook his head to keep more thoughts from seeping in, but he knew sitting here alone in the dark wouldn’t help with that for long. He glanced at the time on his phone. It was 2:08 A.M., so not too late, but most people were usually sleeping at that time.

Nonetheless, Jungkook pulled back the covers and swung his feet over the side of the bed to stand up. He moved as gently as possibly to not risk waking you, but on his way to the bathroom he had to pass by your side of the bed.

Your sleeping face was free of worry, and your lips were slightly parted as you were breathing softly. The sight made Jungkook’s heart thump. He couldn’t help himself when he leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.

If you woke up, he’d just tell you he had to use the restroom and try to coax you back to sleep. You looked too cute for him not to kiss you, though, so he deduced it was worth the risk.

He padded off to the bathroom then, only wearing a pair of gym shorts. Every step he took was calculated so he didn’t make much noise, and when he finally made it to the bathroom, he closed the door as quietly as possible, listening to the faint click before he leaned against the sink.

He sighed and fished his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his contacts until he found the name he was looking for. After dialing the number, he put the phone to his ear, and within 2 rings someone picked up.

“Kook? You ok?”

Jungkook smiled. “Yeah, Yoongs, I’m ok. Just needed to talk to someone, that’s all.”

He heard shuffling from the end of the line and he felt a small pang of guilt at the fact that he may have woken his friend up. But then again, it was Yoongi, and he wasn’t a stranger to being up at this hour.

Yoongi hummed. “Y/N not awake then, huh?”

Jungkook shook his head, despite Yoongi not being able to see him. Yoongi took his silence as confirmation.

“Hm, well you do know I love talking to you, but I am wondering why this time of night?”

Jungkook sighed. Better to get it over with than beat around the bush. “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh no,” he could hear the somberness of Yoongi’s tone. “Is it the same one, or…”

“Same one,” Jungkook answered without hesitation.

“Kook, we’ve been over this-”

“I know,” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “I know. Trust me, I don’t want to keep having this happen either.”

“Can you think of anything that may have triggered it?”

Jungkook tongued his cheek then. The more he thought about it, the only thing he could see as being a potential trigger for these dreams to come flooding back would be Kun’s unwanted reappearance.

While he was still thinking, Yoongi continued.

“Do you think it has anything to do with that asshole showing up again?”

Jungkook smirked. He knew how much disdain Yoongi had for Kun, and for good reason.

“Yeah, it’s exactly that, I’m almost positive.”

It sounded like Yoongi was moving again and Jungkook could just picture him now, sitting up and shaking his head in disappointment, not at Jungkook, but at the situation.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna level with you.”

Jungkook gulped.

“I honestly have no idea why you’re letting someone like that affect you. He’s not worth your time, he’s not worth Y/N’s time, not worth anyone’s time if you ask me. Letting him continue to have this kind of effect on you isn’t healthy.”

Jungkook sighed again, his breath coming out somewhat shaky. “I know, it’s just…it’s hard. It’s really hard, Yoongs. I can’t help but think of how close I came to losing her and fuck it hurts every time I think about it.”

“First of all, you wouldn’t have lost her, and you know that-”

“Yeah but seeing him is a reminder that I came close.”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi’s tone was stern now, and Jungkook immediately stopped talking.

Yoongi took a deep breath. “Like I was saying, you wouldn’t have lost her. You mean too much to her and she means too much to you for either of you to have let that happen. Give her a little more credit, yeah?”

At the mention of you, Jungkook’s lips curved upwards into a smile. He knows you’d never allow anything to take you away from him, outside of maybe some things beyond both of your control. But you certainly would never let someone come in between the friendship you both shared.

A friendship that had developed over several years and had now blossomed into a beautiful, loving partnership.

There it was again: you. Anytime Jungkook thought about you, it always made him happy. He was so in love with you and had been for so many years, so it was sometimes still surreal to him that you two were together now. Your smiling face was all he needed to get him through some days.

But right now the vision of you playing out in his head was the sight of you the night he found you in your house kneeling on the floor after Kun broke your marriage off. You looked so utterly broken, and Jungkook made a promise to himself then and there that he’d do anything in his power to make it so you never felt that way again.

“Kook? You still with me there?”

Yoongi’s voice roused Jungkook out of his thoughts. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Good. You know I worry about you, kid.”

Jungkook smiled. “I know.”

“This is the first time you’ve had this dream in a while, right?”

Jungkook leaned against the sink again, looking at the tiled floor underneath his feet. “Yeah, it’s been months.”

“Then I want you to do something for me, ok?”

Confused, but intrigued, Jungkook shook his head. “Yeah, sure.”

“I want you to take a look at your left hand.”

Jungkook did as he was told, splaying his fingers out in front of him.

“Now tell me what you see?”

Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at his gold wedding band as it glistened faintly in the light of the room.

“My wedding ring,” he answered softly.

“Exactly. Your wedding ring. It belongs to you. And it means you’re the one who’s married to her. Not him, not anyone else, but you.”

Jungkook could see exactly where Yoongi was going with this, and the thought made him almost tear up. Yoongi knew exactly what to say and when to say it whenever Jungkook needed reassurance about something, and this was one of those times.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna tell you this, and it’s something I want you to remember. Y/N loves you. She loves you so much. My God, sometimes it’s hard to look at you two because you’re always so lovey dovey like-”

Jungkook laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

He could imagine Yoongi smiling on the other end. “Good. I think as long as you remember that, you’ll be ok. It’d probably still help to talk to her, though. You know how upset she’d be if she knew you were suffering in silence about your dreams again.”

Jungkook shakily inhaled, his grip on the sink behind him tightening. “I know. I’ll talk to her, probably in the morning since she’s still asleep-”

Jungkook cut himself off when he heard the soft sound of you calling his name. “Yoongs, I gotta go, thank you for answering and for everything else.”

Yoongi chuckled. “Anytime. Night, Kook.”

Jungkook hung up the phone and peered from behind the bathroom door. He saw you sitting up in the bed now, rubbing your eyes before you stretched. He was so fond of you, the sight made his heart swell.

He also noticed how the t-shirt you were wearing had ridden up some during your stretch and he could see the exposed skin of your thighs now now. He even thought that something as simple as you wearing a t-shirt was breathtaking. And when it was one of his t-shirts, like it was now – on some days it was enough to drive him crazy.

Now wasn’t the time for that though. He watched lovingly as you focused your eyes on him and smiled. He wasted no time getting back in the bed with you, seated with one leg crossed under him, his hand coming down to rest on top of your own.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a lazy kiss. Jungkook melted into the kiss when you deepened it, because after everything he just went through, any touch from you now was igniting all his feelings for you.

All of them, which is why he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, nuzzling his nose against yours before pulling away to look at you. He could tell you were still sleepy, but you wouldn’t attempt to go back to sleep without talking first. Especially since he knew you could tell something might be off.

Your brows furrowed. “Koo? What’s wrong?”

Jungkook took a deep breath, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I had another nightmare.”

The immediate look of concern on your face made his heart lurch, and not in a pleasant way. “Baby, what happened?”

He brought up your hand to place a kiss on your knuckles, right above your ring.

“I had that nightmare. You know the one…”

You frowned. “Jungkook-”

“But it’s ok, really. I talked to Yoongi and I feel a little better.” He was looking anywhere but your face now, so you placed a hand under his chin, tilting it up so he’d look at you.

“You know you can always wake me up and talk to me.” You brushed your thumb across one of his cheekbones and he sighed into the touch.

“I know. You’ve been having trouble sleeping lately so I-”

“You also know that if I have trouble sleeping, usually cuddling with you helps. So please don’t use that as an excuse.”

Jungkook felt guilty again because he knew you were right. Before he came along, sleeping wasn’t always easy for you, but in the comfort of his arms, you found slumber much faster these days.

You took Jungkook’s face in both of your hands, your own chest twisting with pain at the sight of him. His big, doe-like eyes were shining with so much emotion, and all you wanted to do was take away all his worries.

“Do you know why you had that dream again?”

Jungkook nodded, absentmindedly brushing his thumb along your thigh. “Everything that’s happened with Kun lately, it- I don’t know, it just bothers me. It bothers me way more than it should. And I guess it just made me think again about- well, you know.”

Jungkook’s head hung then, and you leaned down so you could look into his eyes once more. He brought his head up to keep you from having to lean uncomfortably like that for too long.

“Koo,” you brushed a piece of his long, dark curly locks out of his face. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I know that things happened in the past that we can’t erase or change, but what we can do is focus on our future. Our future that we’re building together.”

He started to smile at your words, his heart lurching again now, but in a good way this time. Every time you told him you were in love with him, he felt like he could conquer the world.

“So please don’t worry about what almost happened or what could’ve been, because what matters is we’re here now. We’re here together. And I don’t plan on going anywhere,” you placed a quick peck on his lips, “Unless you want me to, that is.”

Jungkook quickly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you so you were straddling his lap, making you giggle as you tried to steady yourself. His hands rested comfortably against your waist and you placed yours on his shoulders. He looked up at you now with so much love and adoration.

“Never. I’m not planning on ever letting you go,” he accentuated his words with his grip around you by wrapping his arms more tightly around your waist to pull you closer to his chest. “Not until the day you decide you don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Well I don’t see that ever happening, so I guess we have nothing to worry about then, do we?” You booped his nose and he grinned, placing a hand on the back of your head to bring your lips down to meet his once more. The kiss was soft, yet passionate.

And it quickly turned into something more.

You deepened the kiss and Jungkook groaned into it, kissing you back now with a fervor that had you unconsciously moving your hips against him. He broke the kiss to lean his head back against the headboard, eyes shut and mouth parted.

“Fuck,” Jungkook panted. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Y/N. And right now,” he opened his eyes to stare at you again, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

His hand snaked underneath your t-shirt to brush at the skin he found there, pulling your head back down for another kiss.

“I want to show you how much I love you,” he whispered against your lips. “Will you let me?”

The sound of his voice shot straight to your core, and you were nodding before he could even finish his question. He chuckled against your lips before he started trailing them down your neck.

“Need to hear you say it, baby,” he spoke as his lips ghosted over your throat, his hold on you tightening.

“Please,” you breathed out, pulling at his dark tresses and making him grunt. “Please, Koo. I want you to make love to me.”

That was all he needed. Jungkook started placing kisses along your neck and down to your collarbone that was exposed from the collar of his shirt, his fists clenching around the material at the bottom of it.

“I love you,” he kept saying in between kisses. “Gonna take care of you.”

He started tugging your shirt up and you met him halfway, ridding yourself of the garment fast enough that it made him chuckle at your eagerness. He started peppering kisses all over your chest, kneading at your breasts, rolling your nipples in between your fingers and making your hips move faster.

You could feel him growing harder underneath you through the thin fabric of the shorts he was still wearing, so you sped up your movements, making him moan.

“These need to come off, don’t you think, baby?” You tugged at his shorts. Another moan came from Jungkook as he nodded, helping you move up so he could shimmy out of his shorts. He still didn’t think he could ever get used to that pet name coming from you, and he thought it was the sexiest thing ever when it fell from your lips.

Of course, Jungkook thought nearly everything you did was sexy. That was just the effect you had on him. Everything intimate was intense in the best way possible, and if this was what being in love felt like, he never wanted to stop being in love with you.

He loved you. He needed you. He wanted to be with you for the rest of his life. And he’d never felt this way about anyone else for.

He felt all of these things for you. Only for you.

Jungkook was pulled out of his thoughts of how much he loved you by the feeling of you grinding down onto him again, this time the only barrier of clothing between the two of you being your own panties.

Yeah, Jungkook wasn’t having that.

He made quick work of removing your soaked panties, laughing again at your enthusiastic impatience. He loved seeing that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

“Be careful, angel,” He cooed at you as you tried to steady yourself on his lap once more. He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs while you huffed, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

“Just wanna feel you already,” you said breathily, and the sound of your voice mixed with the words that fell from your mouth made him twitch. He knew he probably wouldn’t last long inside of you, and with the way you were already worked up, he figured you might not either.

But tonight wasn’t one of those nights where he planned on going for hours anyway (even though you both definitely could at times and boy did he love it when that happened). No, tonight was about him proving to you how much he loved you, telling you through his words and soft caresses and the way he took care of you.

And you did the same for him. Jungkook had never had anyone care about him before the way that you do. He knew you’d do anything to ensure his happiness, the same as he would for you.

And that’s also why he thought you were destined to be together. And he hoped he would never fuck that up, that anything would ever fuck that up.

Jungkook heard you whine from your place in his lap, still grinding against him to find some much-needed friction. You felt so good on top of him that he let himself enjoy it for a few moments, soft moans escaping his lips as he watched you through half-lidded eyes. You leaned down to give him another kiss, and in the same movement, he picked you up by your thighs under your ass and placed you back down where his tip was at your entrance.

He grunted against your lips as he felt you sink down onto him, waiting for you to accommodate to the stretch as you’d done many times before. You always told him you could handle it and sometimes you wanted him to be a little rougher with you from the get-go. Jungkook wasn’t at that level where he was comfortable with that yet.

But one day, he thought, especially with how good you feel around him, he just might be.

When he was finally completely inside of you, he waited just enjoying the feel of your warmth around his length. He brushed some hair out of your face, noticing how your eyes were glinting in the faint light of the room.

God, he could never get enough of staring into your eyes. He’d happily get lost in them over and over again.

Now, though, they were starting to close as you picked yourself only to drop down again a moment later. The action caused Jungkook to let out a throaty moan, eyes fluttering closed at the motion.

Hm. That was new.

Usually, Jungkook would guide you with his hands on your hips, and it wasn’t that he didn’t let you have control, it was more that you never really wanted to take control. So, seeing you decide to do it now was exciting and something he’d gladly let happen if that’s what you wanted.

To be sure though, he placed his hands on your waist. You placed yours on top of his and shook your head.

“Let me take the lead,” you said as you pushed his chest to where he was lying down more. “You can keep your hands here, but I want to do the work.”

Jungkook frowned, only because he knew you still had to be tired. “Angel, are you sure? I can help- fuck.”

You cut him off as you clenched around him before you started moving again, his hands constricting around your waist. You placed your hands firmly on your chest to help you get more leverage as you continued moving.

As you sped up, Jungkook leaned his head back into the pillow he was lying on, eyes screwed shut and the prettiest sounds falling from his lips. You watched as the muscles in his neck strained with the movement, and that alone made you want to mark him up.

But now wasn’t the time for that.

Jungkook managed to open his eyes and look at you riding him, the sight making him twitch inside of you. He thought you looked so beautiful like this, and you taking the lead was so hot to him, he knew he’d definitely not last long if you kept this up-

“Do you know,” you broke off to moan as his cock hit a spot inside of you that made your breath hitch, “do you know why I wanted to take control tonight?”

Jungkook swallowed and shook his head, rubbing his hands along your waist.

You smiled at him lovingly, taking one of his hands and bringing it to your lips before linking your fingers. The action made his heart soar.

“It’s because you always take such good care of me. I want to take care of you in that same way,” you squeezed his hand, letting your words wash over him.

“But you do take care of me,” he started to say, only to be interrupted by the feeling of your walls clenching around him again.

“I know. But tonight, I want to show you I know how to take care of you in this way, too. I want to show you how much I love you.” You leaned down, hitting a new angle that had both of you moaning as you brushed your lips against his. “Will you let me?”

Jungkook felt himself getting closer as you repeated his words from earlier. He nodded vigorously, kissing you with so much passion that you thought you might topple over. You sat up straight again and started moving faster, now pulling out as much as possible before dropping back down.

Jungkook’s high was approaching fast because of the combination of you taking control, the way you were riding him, and your words. He was feeling so many things at once and he tried to will himself to not let go.

He didn’t want to let go yet, not until you were there with him.

To help you along, he reached down in between both of you and started rubbing your clit, relishing in the feel of you around him as you stuttered in your movements. He smirked, knowing that even when you were in control, he still had an effect on you the same way you did him.

“Come on, angel, I’m right there, I want you to cum with me.” Jungkook’s voice was husky now, the pleasure threatening to overtake him any second. He bit his lip as he stared at you, watching as your head lolled forward on your neck and you started shaking from the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body.

“I’m almost there, Koo, I love you so much,” your sounds were increasing in pitch and becoming more frequent, so he knew you were close. All that was left now was for you to reach your high together.

He took your hand that was still intertwined with his and placed a kiss on the inside of your wrist. “I love you, too,” he said softly.

His response was enough to finally provoke your orgasm, it being so powerful that you fell forward on top of him. As you did, you were clenching so tight around him that his release wasn’t far behind. He grunted as he placed his head in the crook of your neck, filling you up, the familiar sensation of warmth making you shiver in his hold.

Both of you were trying to catch your breath, you now completely laying on his chest and his arms snaked around you. He placed a kiss on top of your head and you both just laid there for a few moments.

Jungkook was the one to break the silence. “Well, that was certainly something.”

You giggled. “Yeah, I enjoyed that, Don’t know why I haven’t done that before.” You felt his chest rumble with laughter underneath you.

“Me neither, but you can absolutely do it more often. I know I won’t be opposed.”

“Deal,” you said as you leaned up to place a kiss on his nose. “But only under one condition.”

“Oh?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, intrigued at your proposition.

“You,” you said as you traced patterns on his chest, “need to stop being so cautious with me.”

A tiny frown etched itself onto his features. “Angel-”

“I mean it, Jungkook. I’m not some fragile thing that’s going to break anytime you stick your dick in me.” He couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from him, immediately apologizing afterwards because he knew you were being serious.

“I know you’re not, I just- I never want to hurt you.”

“And I’d let you know if you did. So promise me you’ll at least try to treat me a little less like I’m gonna break under your touch?”

He ran his fingers through your hair as you laid your head on his chest again. “I promise to try. I don’t just do it for you, though.”

You brought your head back up to look at him, quirking your own eyebrow. “Oh? What do you mean?”

He chuckled darkly, his stare alone making you throb. “I also do it so I can maintain some self-control.”

You laughed. “What’s so bad about losing control?”

He smirked. “Nothing, I guess. We’ll have to see though, won’t we?”

The suggestion made you tingle with desire, but you were unfortunately too tired to go again, so you figured it’d be best to leave it alone for the night. Jungkook finally pulled out of you, making you let out a small whine at the loss. Before you could say anything, he picked you up and carried you with him to the shower, as he did most nights when you two shared these intimate moments.

In the shower, he helped you clean off, and as he was washing your hair, you stared up at him, seeing his dark locks falling into his face with the weight of the water that drenched them. His lips were parted and his tongue was slightly sticking out as he concentrated on making sure he lathered every inch of your hair with shampoo. He looked so adorable like this that you couldn’t help but giggle.

You ran your hands along his chest now to help him wash off the soap, and your ring caught the light, glimmering faintly. Jungkook picked up your hand and turned it this way and that to watch the ring shine from different angles, before he linked your fingers together.

“I told you I’d get you a better one, didn’t I?” You rolled your eyes in amusement at the cocky smirk that tugged at his lips.

“You didn’t just tell me, you promised me.” You continued washing all the suds off of him as he wrapped his arms around you to bring you closer.

“And did I follow through on my promise?”

You pretended to think about it for a second, making Jungkook tickle you under the shower’s waterfall. “Ok! Ok! Yes, you did,” you said as you laughed. “You always follow through on your promises.”

“I try,” was his soft response. He nudged your cheek with his nose, which is something he did when he wanted a kiss, a habit you were very quick to pick up on in the early stages of your relationship. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood up on your tiptoes, placing a gentle kiss on his lips that had him letting out a small sound of contentment.

“I love you. And I’m in love with you. Nothing, nor anyone, will change that.” You reassured him as you pushed his hair out of his face. Any doubts he still had you wanted to erase them all.

You wanted him to know that you loved him with everything you had.

He smiled, brushing his nose against yours. “I know. And I love you more than anything. All the love I have to give is for you.” He placed another soft kiss on your lips before he pulled back to quietly add, “Only for you.”

Those three words meant so much to you, and every time you heard him say them it made you fall for him even more, if that was possible. The two of you continued to hold each other and exchange lazy kisses until the water turned too cold to bear. After drying off, you both snuggled back into bed, with you falling asleep almost instantly, feeling safe in Jungkook’s arms.

He kissed the back of your neck and wrapped his arms around you securely, resting his forehead against your shoulder as you both laid on your sides. Your soft breathing let him know you were already asleep and he smiled, elated that he could provide you the comfort you needed to help you fall into peaceful slumber once more.

When Jungkook inevitably followed behind you, he was met with nothing but pleasant dreams, and all of them were about you.

#bts #bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #ofy drabble

[bts-weverse-trans]

201128 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Namjoon

RM: “I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.28

The story of BTS’ new album BE started on April 17, 2020 when group member RM announced its production on the BANGTANTV YouTube channel. In the seven months that followed until the album’s release, RM’s mind was full, his thoughts flowing in and out of his head.

How do you feel about the unique approach you took to making your new album, BE? RM: The other members were a ton of help to me. My lyrics made it on the album, but the music I composed didn’t, so I’m really thankful to the group for the music. How should I say this? I feel like everyone is doing a great job. There are so many parts in these songs that I’m indebted to them for. “Stay” was originally going to be the title song on Jung Kook’s mixtape, but everyone liked it so much, and they all agreed to put that on our album. That’s how much influence they had. I’m really happy my room idea was chosen to be the album photos. Since we’re spending a lot of time in our rooms because of COVID-19, we laid out the idea of each of us decorating a room in our own style. I can’t remember for sure (laughs) but I think I’m the one who came up with that. I made a comfortable room, one that’s modern and warm because that’s what I like.

There’s a painting in the middle, and symmetrically arranged figurines. RM: The figures are from my own collection. I wanted to show one of my paintings, but that didn’t pan out. But still, those are the things I hold most dear to me right now, so I let the room embody the things I wish I had, too.

It’s well known that you like art and frequent exhibitions, but how do you feel when you look at art in your home or another space where there are no people, like in the album art? RM: Someone said, “You don’t have to buy this painting; it’s yours so long as you’re looking at it.” That’s my favorite sound bite these days. What I most envied about painters was that, even after they died, their work would be hanging up somewhere, maybe even in another country, still defining that space. Musicians leave behind their songs and videos, too, but it’s only through fine art that viewers in the future are able to completely meet artists from the past. I’m envious that this is only possible for painters. These days I’m trying to find spaces where I can have more relaxed viewing experiences.

There’s a full experience involved, from the time you get ready to leave your house until the time you’re actually looking at artwork in the gallery. RM: That’s perfect to me. There’s art you can keep at home, and then there’s art that should always be viewed in museums.

What effect do you think that type of experience has on your music? You didn’t compose any of the songs but instead participated in writing the lyrics to all of the tracks. Did that experience affect your lyric writing in any way? RM: I think it’s helped me develop a way of thinking using all the senses. I used to be attuned to speech and focus on language and auditory textures, but now I can look at my thoughts from many different angles. That’s why I spend more time studying art now. I’m waiting for the day that it all comes to the surface, like when you paint the base on a canvas over and over so the colors pop. It’s hard to answer in one word if it has a direct influence on my work, but I think people who create music develop a way of seeing the world through their personal experience and their creative process. Painters naturally exhibit their art over a very long period of time. I think it gave me an eye for looking at the world in one long, continuous stroke. So now it’s become a little challenging for me to write lyrics these days. I’ve become more cautious.

Why is it so challenging? RM: I used to have so many ideas pouring out that it was hard to pluck one out. So I would stack them up like a Jenga tower and ponder over which one to remove. But now, it’s hard to even add a block to the stack. I’m not sure why but, when I look at these artists whose works span their entire lives, I sense that the rhythm of my creativity is slowing down more and more. That’s the source of my dilemma. I’m only 27 years old. I still need to wander around and get tripped up a little. But am I just trying to imitate what the fine artists are doing? Or maybe BTS experienced so much in the past seven years, that now it’s time for us to take a breather? I’ve got so many questions, I feel like my hair’s turning white. That’s why none of my songs are on the album. I wrote some, but they were too personal to use there. I don’t exactly like myself like this, but I have to see through to the end in this direction and find the answer.

Maybe for that reason, your rapping has shifted focus to the lyrics more so than trend or musicality. It emphasizes the feeling of the words over a particular format or beat. RM: Exactly. In—was it 2017? Pdogg was talking to Yoongi, Hobi and me about our style, and said, “Namjoon, it feels like you’re becoming a lyricist,” and it really stuck with me. I have a lot of thoughts lately when I watch Show Me the Money or listen to hip hop songs from the Billboard chart. My music started out all about my life as a rapper, so I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now.

So you’ve started to ask yourself who you are as a musician? RM: I listened to Lee So-ra’s seventh album again today. I keep changing my mind but, if I had to pick between her sixth and seventh album, I like her seventh a little more. And then I listen to the most popular songs on Billboard, and I feel kind of thrown off. Um … There’s something Whanki Kim said that’s been running around in my head lately: After moving to New York, he embraced the style of artists like Mark Rothko and Adolf Gottlieb, but then he said, “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” And I keep thinking that way, too. That’s my main concern lately.

You can feel that on BE. As the members take on more prominent roles as songwriters and producers, characteristics of old Korean music—the kind of music you likely listened to in middle and high school—gradually entered your sound. But your music isn’t from that era, and it sounds like pop, but not quite. RM: The sound has to fit with the whole album so I couldn’t incorporate that feel into BTS songs, but the songs I’m listening to most lately have been Korean. Songs like P-Type’s “Don Quixote,” Dead’P’s “Spread My Wings,” Soul Company’s album The Bangerz. The impressions the songs from back then have left on me, the lyrics from back then and the lyrics from now, they’re different. So BE is both Korean and pop; it’s very unique, in my view.

I think that’s especially true for “Life Goes On.” It’s got a pop melody, but compared to “Dynamite,” it has a very different feel. It doesn’t slip deep into the sentimental, instead allowing the melody to flow naturally. RM: Exactly. The chorus is totally pop, and one of the writers was also American. But the song doesn’t really follow American music trends, weirdly. So I don’t know how “Life Goes On” is going to be received. It’s really calm, almost contemplative. So there’s lyrics, like, “Like an echo in the forest,” and, “Like an arrow in the blue sky.” The song kind of feels like that: It could just float off and disappear. It might even come off as bland next to “Dynamite.”

If nothing else, it seems the song will stick around for a long time. Maybe kids now will listen to it later on in the future. RM: I hope so. That’s the one thing I really hope for, people in the future, thinking back and saying, “Oh, right! Remember that one song?” That’s what my favorite artists and other people who leave a lasting impression on me have in common. One thing common among the songs that have affected me a lot, like Lee So-ra’s seventh album, is that the lyrics they utter in their voice along with the overall sound stick with me. I hope when people look back, my words uttered with the sound of my voice, echoes for a long time in an auditory or visual way, or even throughout their entire lives. But that’s the dilemma: We have all these bling-bling symbols of our success, but we’re not that kind of team.

And yet, BTS’s career path is even more “bling-bling” than ever. “Dynamite” was the top song on the Billboard Hot 100. RM: I was the first one to check our position (laughs) but I didn’t want to get too excited about it. I was scared of facing disappointment so I put the brakes on out of habit, and restrained myself. But on the other hand, I feel like I should relish this moment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing; shouldn’t I enjoy myself a bit? But I disliked that sensation of only feeling elated so I tried to be as objective as possible. I was just one small part of everything that made this happen.

It reminds me of that part, “Running faster than that cloud of rain /  Thought that would be enough / Guess I’m only human after all,” from “Life Goes On.” RM: “Only human” sounds so appropriate for me right now. One time, I saw a dark cloud over the N Seoul Tower while I was walking along the Han River. I was with a friend and we talked about where the border between where it’s raining and where it’s not might be, and suddenly, we came up with the idea to run and find that spot. But after running for 10 minutes, the cloud was even further away than it had been. At that moment, the puzzle pieces snapped into place. You think you can go faster than that dark cloud? No. That’s what I realized then. And I just like what Whanki Kim said, that maybe I can’t do anything not Korean, because that’s what I am. I used to work late and then stay up all night when things weren’t working out, sometimes walking from Samseong to Sinsa station, thinking everything through. But now, like the saying, I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am.

On Weverse, you said that you gained some muscle from working out. Could the change to your body improve your creativity in the long term? RM: I started to think I better change myself a little, physically or mentally. I’m talking about being steady. I used to bombard myself with challenges and worries and just get over them, but now I think it’s time to find that one sturdy thing and plant myself there. The best choice was working out, and I think it’s changing my behavior a lot. I’m hoping that, if I keep working out for a year or two, I’ll become a different person.

Music is your job, but also your life. Like you expressed in “Dis-ease,” how would you say you feel about your work? RM: This is my job and my calling and I feel a great sense of responsibility. I think I’m lucky and happy that I can solely worry about my creative process. And I feel very responsible to those people who put their trust in me, so I try not to cross any lines, judge myself honestly, and always be professional. Those are the responsibilities that come with the job—the things I have to do and the promises I won’t betray. But if I’m going to do it, I’m going to be happy while I do it. That’s not always going to be possible, but that’s generally how I feel.

Well then, how do you feel about BTS at the moment? RM: BTS is … Well, it’s really hard to tell. (laughs) When BTS started out, I thought, “I know everything there is to know about BTS,” but now it’s, “I don’t know a single thing about BTS.” In the past, I felt like I knew everything, and that anything was possible. Call it childish or ambitious. But if I were to ask myself, “What is BTS to me?” I would say, we’re just people who met each other because we were meant to. But it feels like the stars aligned and a startup company became a unicorn, with perfect timing and lots of smart people. Looking back, there were a lot of ironies and contradictions in this industry. I thought I figured them out one by one, and then finally understood the whole thing. But now I feel like I don’t know anything at all. Anyway, to sum up: My young, reckless twenties. The events of my twenties. There were a lot of contradictions, people, fame, and conflict all tangled together, but it was my choice and I got a lot out of it, so my twenties were an intense but also happy time.

And what about you, as one individual person? RM: I’m a real Korean person. (laughs) A person who wants to do something in Korea. I think millennials are charging into society stuck between the analog and digital generations, and what I chose is BTS. So I try to integrate myself into our generation, try to understand what people like me are thinking, and try to work hard to capture that feeling without being a burden on them. This might be another kind of irony itself, but this is who I am. I’m a 27-year-old Korean. That’s what I think.

Trans © Weverse

#bangtan #namjoon #weverse #weverse magazine #comeback interview #be album #201128 #2020

[thick-chameleon]

Their thoughts on your coven part 2_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You guys seem to like my last one so here's your promised part two

Enjoy :)

___________________________________________

Eda:

Abomination Coven:

.Pretty neat. She knows shes protected when ever she's with you, your so strong. Even if you tend to be messy with your magic she can't complain.

.The two of you can be an unstoppable team when preforming magic together, you're definitely the tank of the group with your giant abominations. Your abominations are special, you may or may not have gotten used to Eda's criminal lifestyle and borrowed a few cursed objects and trinkets to add to your abominations. After all, who's gonna miss a couple of curses ambulates or bones?

.With you around nobody, not even the coven guards will bother you when you're together. Of course if they do she knows that she has nothing to worry about.

Beast Keeping Coven:

.She's accustomed to strange creatures so you're welcomed with open arms. She finds it fun to be honest. Riding the back of a fearsome beast while hugging your back is a wonderful feeling.

.She likes your appreciation for the unwanted beasts of the boiling isles, she helps you "rescue" endangered animals from the night market nearly every week from the animal trade. Of course rescuing them means setting them free when no one is looking.

.You have kept a few of the animals who wouldn't be able to survive on their own in the wild, the backyard is full of crazy animals but she won't let them inside the house. She also appreciates your lessons with Luz, teaching her how to handle and care for them.

Construction Coven:

.She doesn't care about any of the building or furniture making stuff, but she loves how willing you are to defend her honor. She's seen how strong your punch is before and she is absolutely loving it. You're so caring and sweet to her and Luz but dang you are not scared to throw down when necessary.

.If any guy tries messing with her your quick to step in and show that she's quite taken, of course you don't take anything too far. People can be intimidated by you easily so when things like that do happen they're pretty quick to back down.

.But seriously she's happy to be with somebody like you, you make her blush when you pick her up to kiss her. It really makes her happy.

Bard Coven:

. She's used to having friends in the Bard coven but you're a different story. You can play some of the most eccentric instruments possible, organs, Nellophones, bagpipes. Pretty much anything you can play you at least have a good understanding how to.

it makes her smile when you practice around the house. It's very relaxing and you use it to calm her down when her curse starts acting up. She can play too, so she may join in every now and then when she feels like it.

.Overall she enjoys it. The songs, the singing and dancing. Every moment you play is one she remembers.

.But if Luz ever shows you human music on her phone than you will absolutely play it. Her favorite human songs you do are the hip hop songs from the 80s. You dance to it as well which is entertaining to watch.

Illusion Coven:

.Ah you two get into so much trouble on a regular basis. You help her with her scams, concealing her from the emperors coven and guards. You both work pretty well together, need a disguise or a distraction? She knows you have her back.

.She enjoys it, and you make a perfect partner in general. In school you helped her with all of her stunts, and even saved her from detention a couple of times. The two of have been inseparable ever since your first year at Hexside. And she wouldn't change a single thing, you know just how to make her laugh and can cheer her up instantly.

.You also make a good role model for Luz, when you aren't helping her with getting away from authority's or helping her scam customers of course. You're actually really good at getting Luz to see the bigger picture. You're also a good painter so you've taught her how to paint some really cool things together. The Stained glass window in your shared bedroom? You helped her design it. She's happy spending her life with you, every day is an adventure she gets to experience.

Potions Coven:

. She's known you ever since you two met at Hexside during your first year, and to this day the two of you still wreak havoc around the isles together. The two of you are pretty much unstoppable together, she will admit you have a much better skill and ability when it comes to making potions. To be fair you actually paid attention to all of the classes and became the top student in the track, but she still has her own tricks.

.Shes always appreciated having someone like you around, especially when you two were together at Hexside. You make a great teacher for Luz in a more practical sense with magic, teaching her a little bit of potion mixing whenever she's interested and more so answering questions she has. But seriously you are extremely gifted in the way of brewing potions,you still supprised her with how powerful you can be.

.A good section of the kitchen is the designated potion are where the two of you (mainly you) make the good stuff. It can be a tad bit hectic but otherwise always fun to watch you do your thing in the kitchen. After she had gotten cursed you made it your goal to help cure her, and one of those ways is to figure out how to recreate the elixir she drinks to keep the curse from acting up. Which she finds extremely sweet and enduring. She's happy to have meet you in the potions track, even if she originally wanted to do all of the other classes. To be honest you were the only good thing to come out of that place during her time there and she's quite happy with the outcome.

Healing Coven:

.she sometimes wishes you didn't join the healing coven, not cause she has anything against it. It's just your very busy and overworked quite often and she hates to see you so stressed out. You deserve to be stress free and have normal hours of sleep, but with your job that's nearly impossible. You take special house calls for your patients, that means you often find yourself having to wake up at the middle of the night for an emergency call.

.Your so caring and good so it hurts to see others treating you as just a healer. She's noticed that others call you pet names when they should be giving you respect for the sleepless nights you spend tending to the sick and unwell. She will do everything in her power to make you as relaxed and happy as soon as you get home, this includes cuddles and naps together on the couch. (Plus Luz finds it absolutely adorable how you will flop into Eda's embrace as soon as you get home from another hard day at work.)

.She's also aware of the fact her curse has a big factor on you, your always quick to help her when she's trying to fight off the curse. And for that she's again very much grateful for but still she doesn't want to feel like she's adding to any sort of burden dealing with your work and stress. But ultimately she can never say no to you, she loves your determination and eagerness to help others no matter the cost.

Oracle Track:

. Pretty cool, she does like looking towards the future with you as you have revealed some pretty big details before. She never really believed in the whole fortune telling magic before, something just didn't settle right with her. But after she found your tent in the middle of the woods and found you expecting company specifically her company it just kind of felt right. She literally ran into your tent and found you sitting Infront of her holding two cups of tea, it would happen to be her favorite infact. You two talked a bit and you somehow convinced her that she would later meet her soulmate on the knees of the boiling isles. She made a bet that that wouldn't happen and to her supprise she would find you again on the knees with a smug look on your face and a rose in your hand.

.That was years ago and she still listens to your rants about things you've predicted. Short terms are that you are always accurate with your readings. So she won't argue there. After all you did predict that the two of you would have a strange family with possibly two demons and a witch with no natural magical abilities.

.On a more practical way of your readings you are extremely useful for knowing when and where not to go, you'll typically be a little more cryptic white your casual readings but still handy to know not to go to the market because of some sort of event with the emperors coven. You also know when foods about to go bad unexpectedly so that's neat.

.She really enjoys your company, especially when the night sky is clear, the two of you will sneak out to watch the stars and dance under the full light of the moon.

.Luz also finds it cool and often comes to you for secret advice for her and amity's relationship. After all you and Eda are a bit of a strange couple so you know quite a lot of good first real relationship tips.

Plant Coven:

.You are too cute sometimes, you can cheer her up anytime with your little plants and cheerful outlook. You have a liking to succulents and other more resilient kinds of plants. She likes that you carry a few packets of seeds wherever you go, planting and growing new life in dull and boring parts of the isles.

. when the two of you were younger you used to graffiti the halls and building of Hexside with moss. She really admires your creativity with your magic. Most people can be pretty unassuming of you. Usually assuming your pretty soft and delicate but dang can you pack a punch. She's seen you create walls of cacti and thorns and straight up almost kill a few guards using stinging nettle and poison ivy.

. You're a big help around the house with keeping defenses up, Hooty is the primary defense but you have been known to set up a couple of traps including whip vines to keep out the more pesky emperors coven at bay. You know some nasty plants and aren't afraid to use them if necessary. You have a small garden of plants most people see as a pest and weeds in the backyard near the shed, you like proving others wrong in the sense of weeds being just weeds. She likes your secret firey side that not a lot get to see, you definitely have guts and she finds that very attractive.

Warden: (he's so underated)

Abomination Coven:

.He can respect a person with your talents. You two may have met at the conformitorium and don't see eye to eye on how it's run but he still really loves you. Your magic can be extremely powerful, you can morph the walls and objects around you into abomination goo. Making it extremely messy but very useful in certain situations.

.You both met when you broke your friend out of the conformitorium, when he had noticed that the walls of all the cells had turned to abomination mush and all of the prisoners were gone it was understandably annoying. He originally sworn to have you thrown into prison for the trouble you had caused. Upon meeting you by accident in town you had him in a stuttering mess of words that you could only translate as a pitiful attempt to both ask you on a date and address the fact you had pretty much destroyed a good part of the conformitorium. A very strange yet charming first meeting. He would later take you to a nice cafe where the two of you connected.

.You both are opposites of each other at times, which is fine. If anything the two of you definitely benefit from each others different personalities. You have noticed how much calmer and kinder he has gotten with dealing with prisoners at the conformitorium, it doesn't stop you from breaking out the people tho but at least you now fix the walls when your done. And honestly he's not going to do anything as long as you fix it afterwards.

Bard Coven:

.You are the most beautiful thing he's ever listened to, nothing else can compare to your voice no question about it. He's not one to sing and you can be a tad shy when singing around him so he occasionally pretends to be asleep so you'll sing while getting ready for bed or making dinner. When you're singing it melts his heart so he wants to hear it much as possible.

.He especially likes to listen to you sing your lullaby's to Braxas, the two of you are all he needs. When you're feeling good you'll come out of the shell and sing a song you made for him, you know how tiring his work can be so you know just how to lull him to sleep or comfort him when needed.

Beast Keeping Coven:

.He's exactly the type of partner/dad that will say no to letting the family get a pet and then eventually give in and love it unconditionally.

.He may say that he doesn't want or like your strange creatures, but if you get attached to it then he can't say no. It might take some convincing but it wouldn't be long before a new member is added to the family. Braxas also has some sort of strange fondness towards animals that aren't seen as typical house pets, he'd help you take care of it and play with whatever beast you bring into the house.

.Now he does have a stopping point and won't allow too many pets inside, he hates bugs tho so whenever there's a spider gets in the house expect to hear a scream and him shouting your name in fear to get rid of the home invader. Whenever that happens your his knight is shining armor and saviour.

Construction Coven:

.Ahhhh he loves it. As much as he adores a soft S/O he equally lives a strong S/O. It would be so easy to win him over if you have the ability to compete with his strength. He doesn't have to worry about accidentally hurting you so it makes him feel more at ease around you.

. You've built both a treehouse and mini playground set for Braxas to play in that he loves. Neither of you have to worry about finding someone to fix something in the house or repair anything ever, you're so handy with tools it amazes him sometimes.

.The two of you met after Eda had messed up the conformitorium, you had come over after being called to repair the damages to the building. After the rough denial from her, he had learned to take a better approach to asking someone out. He was bout to give up before you had shown up, as if you were a blessing he started to watch you work hard every day to rebuild to the conformitorium. He didn't want a repeat of Eda so he chose a softer and more relaxed approach. After you had finished the last wall of the conformitorium he had built up a little courage to finally ask you out, walking up to you with his guards behind him cheering him on again and asking you to let him treat you to dinner. You of course said yes and the rest is history.

.He loves to help with projects even if it means just holding nails in place while you hammer them in. He's happy Eda had left him like that, even if it meant he had gotten beaten up its what originally lead him to meeting you.

Healing Coven:

.He feels bad how much the two of you work, he feels like you shouldn't have to worry about work the way you do. He watched with concern everytime you come back from a full day of healing without breaks or eating. He wants to take care of you too, so he'll do his best to treat you and keep you off of your feet after a long day. Want to sleep? Go ahead! Can't walk cause you've had no chance to sit down? Guess what, he'll carry you to the ends of the isles.

.He rarely gets any sort of injury's but when he tends to become paranoid, he will go to you and only you for any medical advice. He has no trust for any other healer except you and only you. You treated him so we'll so now he's staying, it was rare for him to find people on the isle's so open and caring so he was instantly smitten by you when you first met.

.He does occasionally get sick, and when he does he's like a giant cuddly puppy. You take such good care of him, making him soups and letting him rest, giving him plenty of cuddles and needed affection. He honestly likes it a little when he's sick, It means he gets special care from you. He likes to feel special and cared about, when all of this comes from you it makes it 100% better.

Illusionist Coven:

.This one's a hard one. He loves you but dang it is hard for him to understand your magic sometimes. He definitely knows not to play a card game with you cause of how crafty you can get. He won't like it when you sneak up behind him or use your magic to spook him, he will however admit he enjoys your tricks of turning things invisible and more lighthearted magic.

.He likes to watch you preform magic tricks while playing with Braxas, he finds it cute when he finds the two of you laughing together and making clines of you dance around the room.

Oracle Coven:

.He's not really too interested in Oracle readings or divination to be honest. He doesn't want to know what the future will be, he wants to keep it a surprise. When he was younger he had heard that his soulmate would be in the Oracle Coven. So he spent a few years searching and talking to every Oracle Coven member he could, eventually giving up. About two years after he had stopped searching he had gotten a transfer prisoner that was part of the Oracle Coven.

.Turns out you had known that your future soulmate would be head of some sort of prison or jail, you didn't want to believe when you had gotten u rightfully thrown in the conformitorium but you couldn't argue with destiny. The look on each others faces when you both realized you were each others so called soulmates was priceless. You knew it would happen but you didn't expect him of all people, not that you were complaining.

.Now you two live comfortably together, since he doesn't care for all of the Oracle stuff you two don't really do anything like tea readings or tarot cards. You tend to just enjoy your days together as they come.

Plant Coven:

.People don't really expect you to be so powerful when they first meet you, this includes Warden. When he first bumped into you at the market he didn't think you were capable of making gigantic mushrooms grow to the size of buildings. When you two had first met he had accidentally ran into you while chasing Eda, causing you to fall. Thankfully you had caught yourself by making a soft landing onto a mushroom, but Warden hadn't been quite lucky. You brushed your self off and helped him up, using mushrooms to help him back to his feet. He was a bit overwhelmed after all of that but once he had been brought back to the present he had noticed you, standing Infront of him with a concerned look on your face. He'd never seen mushrooms grow as giant as the ones you have made.

.Overall he really doesn't care too much about the mushrooms, he thinks they're interesting and unique. He's even gotten you some mushroom themed hats and accessories that you love. The two of you eat a lot of mushrooms though, he does like the fact you both have fresh vegetables and fruits often. And Braxas enjoys playing on the mushrooms you make, bouncing on them outside like semi trampolines.

Potions Coven:

.He's had a bad time with porionists before so it might take some time to really get to know you. He's really just afraid of it turning into an Eda situation again. But you'd never do anything like that to him.

.You joined as a guard for the conformitorium, climbing up the ranks to the point where you started working with the infamous Warden. He was extremely distant from you at first, but as you earned his trust your relationship started to grow more and more. After a few weeks the other guards had started to ship you two and try to get the two of you together. Which did work, once you two had confessed each others feelings you both started to go on regular dates together.

.You two make a pretty good team too, you know a lot about potions that make people incapacitated and cease body function so you can be a little intimidating at times, and he lives for it honestly. He's a sucker for people that can preform powerful spells so he's well impressed with your potions and elixirs.

Lilith:

Abomination Coven:

.She does not care for it. It's hard for her to appreciate abominations though she will admit that you have a great skill in it. And she does find it interesting how you can turn your body into abomination goo and what not.

.There's not much she can really do for it but it is interesting to watch you spar with Steve and absolutely crush him, she will of course cheer you on even if she doesn't like abominations.

Bard Coven:

.She admires it very much, of course as long as it's not too loud. She really enjoys a little bit of classical music, and a little pop as well. She also loves to dance with you, so any chance she gets she will gladly take.

.The first time you had met her was when you were preforming, playing the piano so wonderfully. She couldn't help but feel moved by your music. Now if you ever learn something like ed Sheeran or some sort of folk music the shed be even more head over heels for your music. She secretly likes those kinds of music but it's hard for her to tell people her interests in music.

Beast Coven:

.Shes unsure of the safety involving mist of the creatures you deal with. Especially since you're know for being able to tame reptiles and amphibians. She's crated you'll be eaten or squished. She knows you can handle yourself but it's still her job to worry about you.

.good luck ever trying to convince her to come with you to the swamps or wetlands cause it's not happening unless absolutely necessary, she feels incapable of helping anyway so she's rather stay back and not get in the way. She also doesn't do pets well unless it's like a cat or bird, so no pets unless easy to take care of.

. She'll come with you to get supplies needed for any animal or beast needed, the only thing she genuinely enjoys when it comes to your work is looking at all of them in cute clothes and accessories, its hard to not like watching you put a sweater on the beasts and look cute.

Construction Coven:

.meh, not too bad. She likes how sting your embrace is. And loves it when you give her massages, whenever you do it it's so much better honestly. You make some very unique things she enjoys, she really likes your sculptured and statues. You make them so realistic looking it's impressive.

.She's so small compared to you, your so physically strong and gentle at the same time it amazes her. However, if anyone dares to say anything rude or degrading towards her your intimidating side tends to come out rather quickly. All it takes is for you to stand up and death glare them before they back down. Anytime that happens it makes her feel so warm inside knowing you'll stick up to anybody for her.

Healing Track:

.She rather enjoys the healing coven, she's impressed with how much you typically do in one day. You have saved her before from sicknesses and other nasty injurys from her time in the Emperors Coven. Anytime she's sick she knows you'll make a big deal out of it and insist on healing her to tip top shape, it's endearing to her.

. She only knows a little bit about healing magic so she loves it when you rant to her, you both often spend your time together ranting anyways. Talking about anything and everything together, not many want to listen to either of you so you both find company in each other.

Illusionist Coven:

.She secretly loves it. You have to most creative way of saying I love you to her, creating elaborate schemes to show your affection. She doesn't care for any pranks or anything like that but still she loves your magic and finds it special.

.Her favorite spell is where you create illusionary birds to bring her letters and gifts. your creations look so real it's beautiful it never fails to make her gush.

Oracle Coven:

.Tea dates would probably be a big thing for her, she loves sitting next to a warm fire with you cuddling while drinking hot tea while you tell her about your visions and customers you've had for the day. You tell her of any dreams you can remember from the night before, conversing about the stars and horoscopes for the day.

.She like it because of how relaxing and calming it all is, during your younger years when Lilith was at Hexside and you were in Glandis you both were on opposing grudgeby teams both team captains. You of course knew that they were cheating, but didn't say anything cause you knew that you wouldn't get to see the opposing team captain if you spoke up. So you continuously let yourself be beat just so you would see her during the game. You one day had gotten a vision of her getting possibly injured during the game, do you made it your goal to keep her out of harm's way as best as possible. At first Lilith was extremely confused, assuming you were trying to throw her off her game. But as she tried to score a point she had several miscalculated, failing and instead ended up falling to the ground. Before she could feel the harsh floor meet her body she felt two gentle arms holding her instead. Even though you lost again the two of you started hanging out outside of grudgeby matches, and she learned you were part of the Oracle Track.

.She started coming to you for tea and horoscope readings on her days off and it evolved into your current relationship.

Plant Coven:

.She likes some of the plants you grow, just not all of them. You certainly have some exotic plants in your care. You have a connection to them she doesn't quite get, you can pretty much converse with them. Just completely understand them as if they speak to you, a few of your plants require a meaty diet and smell like absolute death and rot. Meanwhile your also grown flowers and the more soft kinder plants. She doesn't have a green thumb but she'll help you with adding nutrients and watering them as long as it's not the carnivorous plants.

.She does like to go to on small easy going adventures with you like kayaking or walking through botanical gardens together on a nice day.

.You can pull off some crazy stunts using plants too, using roots of plants to carry you and making plants walk as if they were humanoid. They just gravitate towards you, literally, they sometimes will extend their leaves as if trying to get to you. Your abilities with plants are strange yet impressive none the less.

Potions Coven:

.You two may get a tad bit competitive from time to time when it comes down to who makes the best potions. Both of you were top students in the class, for a short time you had a small rivalry before getting to know each other better. Yet still the pride in both of you still shows from time to time. It never escalates to anything further, just some loving competition between the two of you.

.You both can make extremely powerful potions together when necessary, and can practically read each others minds whenever the two of you make them together. You both get into a sort of unbroken trance, swiftly and rather gracefully in sync together as you mix and brew your potions. The two of you would be quite happy together, you know each other so we'll you really don't need to speak, you know by each others facial expressions and body language so well that it's all you two need in order to convey thoughts together.

.You also make the best coffee in the isle, it's a certain skill she's found she appreciates after a rough day.

#the owl house eda #toh x reader #x reader #fiction #lilith x reader #warden x reader

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x09 Review

Spring Break was a bit of an odd ep but helped move some key plots forward. Let’s dig in!

Well people can no longer claim that Portwell is one sided. We finally got Gina’s pov and she starts off the ep uncertain whether the shift in their relationship means that EJ likes her but by the end of the ep she seems sure of herself and that EJ likes her back. I liked that she didn’t try to pretend that nothing had changed or that she hadn’t noticed potential signs that EJ might like her; it always sucks when tv characters act like idiots. 

Perhaps the most important reveal of this ep was that Gina has a much older estranged brother who left her and her mom many years ago. That certainly makes her backstory more tragic and is definite set up for her brother to eventually return.

The writers continue to give Portwell great tropes, capping this ep off with an airport rom-com trope that also calls back to EJ getting Gina the place ticket so she could come back in S1. Not only did Gina keep EJ’s Duke sweatshirt but she altered it to fit her better which is both sweet and bold in the assumption that it was hers to keep. Gina got her sign when not only did EJ show up to drive Gina home and take her luggage but he brought her the granola bar that she had wanted but forgot to pack. I wonder if her posting on her story that she was ubering home after her flight was cancelled was intended to see if EJ would show up since the camera focused on her posting it. Also sweet that she’s taken to calling EJ, ‘ Eej’. 

EJ’s opening was good, shows a lot of his character growth from the selfish guy he was in S1 and how he’s learned to value other people which of course leads into his feelings for Gina. We got another great use of the camera as character tonight when Gina was laughing after her facetime call with EJ until she realized that the camera was on her. 

Jack was a lot of fun. Though he didn’t really change Gina’s mind over anything like the ep description said he would.  Seemed like Gina was largely over Ricky and wondering about EJ at the beginning and the end solidified her feelings for EJ but Jack didn’t really play a role in that, it’s not like he encouraged Gina to reach out to EJ or anything. There’s a vague sense in which Jack being nomadic linked him to Ricky’s unreliability in Gina’s eyes with her craving stability but that’s a stretch. Jack mentioned that the second most dangerous part of a plane ride is when the plane takes off, a hint to the blossoming Portwell relationship where in order to take off one or both of them has to risk a confession even though they could be turned down.

This ep might seem a bit weird in hindsight. The zoom parts probably won’t age well and five years from now people might be wondering why they had Gina hang out with a manic pixie dream boy of sorts for an ep.

The path is clear for canon Portwell in the finale with EJ being Gina’s second chance at romance and her first kiss since they clearly telegraphed it out of nowhere. I’ve been impressed with the great work the writers have been doing since 2x05 to build up Portwell as a ship but also work on Gina and EJ as individual characters; they’ve been the highlight of the season so far. 

There was discourse this past week over how well or poorly Portwell has been set up. Objectively very few ships on this show get much in the way of set up or consistent writing. Redlyn and Kowie had barely any set up before getting together. Seblos had none (though in fairness that was due to Disney restrictions) and Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen didn’t have much set up either. Rini did get lots of development in S1 but that’s because they had already dated and were the main ship of the show. The show’s not really about slow burns, if Jenzzara canons in the finale they’ll count and if Rina ever got together they’d also count but neither of those ships have gotten consistent development with Mazzara not being in several eps and Gina and Ricky not even interacting for the past 3 eps. 

Is Portwell a slowburn? In a sense since they did feature quite a bit in each other’s S1 plot lines and even had a fake dating plot but it is true that they were platonic and not that close in S1 so it’s a wash. There was clear set up for romantic Portwell in 1x10 with team wonderstudies and Gina staring at EJ (which interestingly enough looked more like set up for Gina to pine over EJ). I think the main problem is that even though we saw Gina and EJ hanging out in the background we didn’t get any scenes of substance between them until 2x05. It was a mistake and there should have been some scene, like EJ and Gina commiserating in 2x03 over being single on Valentine’s Day or something like that. Hell there was even that still from 2x01 of EJ and Gina looking at each other at the piano while they were in the frame between Ricky and Nini singing and having a moment  which would have been good foreshadowing but that shot wasn’t in the ep.

Whether Tim just really wanted Portwell to be a surprise in 2x05 as a mid-season twist to throw the audience off of what looked like a Rini/Rina triangle or he was unsure as to whether he wanted to go with Portwell or if he just planned it out poorly we may never know. Regardless they’ve had great writing for 4 eps in a row now which puts them slightly ahead of the 3 eps in a row of development Rina got in S1. I’m sure if someone added up their screen time they’d find that Portwell has more screen time this season than Kowie and more screen time than Redlyn or Seblos  got in S1. 

Caswell cousins was fun and Ashlyn did in fact paint EJ’s nails. 

Set up for Seblos drama next week, it’s refreshing to see Seb being jealous over Carlos flirting with other boys that’s definitely not something you see on Disney shows.

Ricky got some healing done with his mom. Enough to cover their issues? No but this is probably the best this show is capable of. There was a brief mention of therapy sandwiched between other options which sounds more like checking off a box then setting up Ricky actually going to therapy. I noticed Lynne was smiling at odd times like when she told Ricky she knew about his breakup with Nini; whether that was poor directing or acting I don’t know. Who knows if we’ll see Lynne again. As an aside still so wild that Tim named Lynne who’s been a kinda shitty mom after his own mom who he seems to be fairly close with.

Really liked You ain’t seen nothin as a song but not a fan of the Tiktok style vid. I’ll level with you wildcats, I’m too old to really get Tiktok, it just seems like a crappy version of Vine to me. Let you go was good, seemed better fitted for Joshua Bassett’s voice than some of his previous songs. A big sign that they’re not circling back to Rini for a long time for sure. Though on that note we got a bit of a hint that Ricky was Nini’s muse which may one day come back as a way to help bring them back together. 

Looking Ahead:

If there’s only 3 weeks left till the Menkies, with only 2 weeks left for rehearsal due to spring break, it’s hard to see East High winning unless North High is disqualified or has to withdraw. 

Lily is in a promo photo so she’s likely the unexpected facetime Ricky gets which is what I had theorized. Also makes it much more likely that she’s the party crasher Ricky re-evaluates in the finale though what Tim actually wants to do with those two I do not know.

There’s little point in bringing back the Valentine’s chocolate since there’s no real stakes. Rini are already broken up, Gina hasn’t spoken to Ricky since 2x06, and it’s not like Nini and Gina were ever close so even if they stopped talking to each other it wouldn’t really affect the show in any way. 

Seems pretty likely that Second Chances refers to Gina realizing that her first try with Ricky failed but her second chance with EJ won’t and that leads to her sharing her truth and cue the Portwell confession and kiss, perhaps with an assist on EJ’s end from Mazzara. We’ve gone well past the point where Portwell can be brushed off as just a plot device to help Rina but Tim is playing with fire by getting the audience so on board with Portwell if he’s once again going to have EJ lose a girl he likes to Ricky in S3.

Gina certainly needs to talk with Ricky and I do think that happens in ep 11 or 12 and leaves them on better terms. As I mentioned last week, if Tim was smart he’d slam the door on Rina if he’s going with canon Portwell or vice versa. If he wants Rina to be a slow burn he’s really botched the writing this season, it’s been too one sided and too angsty to sustain any kind of momentum or audience interest. They haven’t even interacted for 3 eps now and not only has it not affected the show but it’s inarguably made Gina’s story line much better.  Again I don’t think he’s smart enough to not try and do Portwell and then later Rina but he’s accidentally set up the Rina story line to quite easily slam the door permanently on them by having their conversation be closure for Gina who’s moved on and an apology from Ricky who never liked her back as much as Gina liked him.

Not looking forward to seeing Nini basically live out Olivia Rodrigo’s life in future seasons

Curious to see Carlos’ apology song to Seb. Ricky helping him with it is a great way to help start redeeming Ricky’s character in the audiences eye’s. According to Matt there is a bit of a Ricky/EJ rivalry this season and if it’s really happening the sleepover would be a good place to do it though I hope it’s not about Gina. 

Until next week wildcats.

#HSMTMTS #Portwell #Gina Porter #EJ Caswell #Ricky Bowen #Nini Salazar-Roberts #Seblos #seb matthew-smith #HSMTMTS Reviews

[sanstropfremir]

Hey love, hope you're having a nice day

My mom strongly believes Taemin has a thing for using some sort of element to cover his head in most of his MVs. Obviously we're both too dumb to catch the symbolism (if any) so I thought why not ask someone who knows?

So what do you think? Is there any deep reason behind the head bags or is it just an aesthetic thing?

anon!!!! mwah!!! i'm having a better day because you sent this in!!!!

your mom is right, taemin absolutely has a thing for covering his head, specifically his face! you can see masks and/or veils (under the cut):

in the hit the stage performance of sayonara hitori

in the offsick concert teaser

in the nippon budokan performance of i’m crying

in the move mv here (there are several shots from this scene), and here

in the want mv here

there’s a quick shot of him pulling off a veil in criminal

and of course, advice. and again.

also some other images:

1. from the ngda act 1 promo photos

2. from the 2kids promo photos

3. from the move album scans

4. the cover of ngda act 2 messiah version

5. an actual bag over his head in the criminal mv

6. from the most recent short vcr in the ngda beyond live

7. from the sayonara hitori album scans

this is not an exhaustive list because i know i’ve missed some; i'm 80% sure there was a mask with the red outfit in the ngda act 1 scans but this is enough examples i think to show that it’s definitely deliberate. and i'm not even bringing up all the times he physically covers his face with a body part or it’s obscured through an effect, because then we gotta talk about the famous choreography, the idea choreography, the just me and you vcr, and countless promo photos and album scans from essentially every era in his entire solo career.

the backbone of the kpop industry in its current state is the idols' faces. human nature has proven time and time again that the easiest way to catch an audience is through a pretty face (by whatever the standards are at the time), and in an industry built on militant commercialism, of course the emphasis is going to be on those faces. you can see it in every bit of content. turning physical albums into mass collectibles, with multiple versions, giant photobooks, photocards. an idol’s face IS their uniform. when an idol doesn’t want to be seen, what's the first thing they do? cover their face. (and people still take pictures of them anyways). i’ve seen countless times on vlives and ig lives where an idol is wearing a mask and there will be a stream of “show us your face <3”’s until they do. their face is their brand. every decision a stylist, a publicist, a company makes is to optimize exactly how beautiful they can make their idols look, because that’s by and large what the fans want. obviously it's a product of the larger trend in unattainable beauty standards fueled by social media, but i'm not going to talk much about that, because it's a lot. if you’ve followed me for long enough (probably just for more than a few days tbh, since i talk about it constantly), you’ll have noticed that i'm a huge proponent of ‘ugly’ hair trends, and i'm a huge proponent of ugly styling in general. when idols have to be fashion models as well as inhuman performing machines, you’re setting them up to everything that plagues that industry as well, which means massive complexes about their faces and bodies, in the most mild of terms.

‘ugliness’ has freedom in it. part of the reason why i’ve gone extra insane for advice as a whole is because it IS ugly. taemin’s extensions ARE awful. his hands are blackened and dirty the whole mv, and so are portions of his body. he’s visibly flaunting his real tattoos*, which are still deeply stigmatized in the east. we see him get in a car crash. in arguably the most flattering/conventionally attractive outfit, he’s got heavy mascara tear tracks. the song isn’t particularly melodic, the choreography is childish and jerky, the lyrics directly call out the people that treat him like an object. and of course, the mask. all of these are cracks in the facade, confronting us, on purpose, with the crumbling of his perpetually pretty, perfect persona. he's hurt, he's angry, he's got his hands deep in the grime of living in the public eye that the public refuses to see, and now he's going to smear it all over himself until you DO see it. at the end of the mv his triumph is not that he washes himself clean, but that he paints overtop. gesso on an old canvas; a fresh start, but fundamentally informed by the things underneath.

taemin uses masks as a way to deface himself. both in the literal sense of removing his face from the equation but also in the synonomic sense of the destruction, the obliteration, the vandalization of himself. of his brand. known as sm’s pretty boy since he was 14, who is he if he doesn’t have his face?

as a general device the masks are an entreaty to address him on his own artistic merit. but they do often have specific meanings within their contexts. in the i’m crying performance it is to remove himself as an entity all together; he is anonymous now, an unseen narrator to the performers on stage.** in move and want it’s for emphasis on his body; proof that he can still ensnare you with his limbs alone. pulling off the veil/reversing it back on in criminal as a revealing/concealing of the two sides of himself on display in the mv. the literal suffocation of one of those sides with a plastic bag. the voice in idea says ‘you are my messiah,’ but the cover of the album denies confirmation of that identity.

there’s more to be dug into here, especially with the ngda act 2 photos but i’d have to go back through my catholic iconography notes again and this would be a lot longer than it already is. i’m also looking at this from a western perspective, there are undoubtedly double meanings specific to a korean context that i haven’t clocked. but that’s the reason i love his work so much! it stands up to a lot of rigorous analysis and there’s always going to be something that i don’t catch right away, something more to learn.

---

* we learned like yesterday that his hip tattoo is a peony, which he named as symbolizing freedom. peonies tend to have primarily positive meanings across east asian cultures, but in victorian floriography, they mean shame and sometimes anger.

** this style of performance is very common in cirque du soleil shows, especially the older ones from the early 2000s. it's pretty common to have a ballad or operatic singer featured as a ‘narrator’ to a specific story section of routine. i’m sure this is probably frequent in other places as well, but i’m naming cirque specifically because that’s where i’ve seen it the most, and also because there is an actual circus performer on stage during this. plus there’s a guy in a pierrot costume, who is probably the most famous clown***. (although the costume is technically wrong because pierrot is supposed to be unmasked. (ironic plays loudly in the distance))

*** clown of the technical variety and not clown of the honk honk birthday variety.

#taemin #im not just saying i like ugly hair because i have a neon orange mullet with an undercut #but also i do have a neon orange mullet with an undercut so that should give you a pretty good indication of my opinions #frankly im just for ugly clothes in general because im tired of looking at the same types of faces/outfits/whatever #thats been propagated by instagram and tiktok #also by celebrity culture and beauty standards in general #that being said none of what taemin is doing is actually ugly ugly #he definitely has waaaaay too much pride to deface himself physically that far and i doubt sm would ever allow it #this is just looking at his public persona and how it interacts with his art #his solo career in particular i think you would be hard pressed to find anything of shinee's that covers their faces #the odd concept photos are the only ones i can think of that come close #i think youd be hard pressed to find any group that willingly has covered or distorted faces in their main promotional material #without the purpose of like 'oh who is this going to be~~~' surprise type reveals #ok tags and the post are very long now i will stop #anon please give your mom a kiss for me i think it sweet you talk about kpop with her!!! #taemin meta #kpop analysis #text #anonymous #fun additional fact about me which is very indicative of my current path in life #i used to make my parents tape cbc broadcasts of cirque shows #those tapes and art attack were the only tv i watched with any consistency until i was like #12 #i didnt watch a single disney movie until i was like 14 maybe? #did watching only art attack and cirque irreparably fuck me up as a child? yea probably #but at least i dont have a sentimental relationship to the disney corporation so i won in the long run #kpop questions #group analysis

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2020; if I had to make a post about all the cdramas I watched this year, I would still be doing it in three months...

Overall it’s been a fairly decent cdrama year (certainly better than the very lacklustre kdrama year.) It’s no miracle that 2019 was (so many excellent dramas!) but overall pretty solid.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

44 The Legend of Jing Yan - the worst cdrama I have seen this year, and possibly the worst drama of 2020, period. The hero and heroine were both uncharismatic, incapable of acting and saddled with such shrilly moronic characters, the only suspense was how they haven’t both perished long since from forgetting to breathe. Nor was anyone in the rest of the cast much better; the screenplay was written by a lower mammal and the cinematography was the best a third-rate wedding cinematographer could offer. Stay the HELL away from this one.

43 Unicorn Girl - the only unicorn about this bland yet irritating piece of pap was the fact that I was supposed to believe the leads are hockey players.

42 Autumn Cicada - I like spy stories, Allen Ren, and Republican Era settings. I can tune out Communist propaganda with the best of them. Yet, the propaganda ate the story to such a degree that there was nothing left; pre magic change Pinocchio was less wooden then this narrative.

41 You Complete Me - no you do not.

40 Skate into Love - the only positive thing I can say about this is that at least it’s better than Unicorn Girl, if for no other reason that only one of them is supposed to be a hockey player.

39 Irreplaceable Love - how do you make a story about fake siblings with a mad mother falling for each other boring? I don’t know, ask the makers of this.

38 Eternal Love Rain - I hate to rain on their parade, but these two actors cannot act, have about as much chemistry as a piece of bread, and are trapped in a story perfect for entertaining the mental abilities of the leads of Jin Yan.

37 For Married Doctoress - ummmm, you could do worse I guess. It only made me break out in mild hives. The sadistic ending did make me laugh though.

36 Dance of the Sky Empire - why you get Xu Kai and waste him in this insipid mess of a story is beyond me.

35 Love Designer - it’s inoffensive except to my sense of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with it but oh God is it bland.

34 Love a Lifetime - It felt like a lifetime watching this, but I didn’t love it. The story is incoherent, the actors have no chemistry and it’s all an epic waste of time.

33 Love is Sweet - so sweet it gave me diabetes. I like Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu, but there is literally no plot. I don’t need to sink into a plotless morass to watch pretty people engage in PG-rated make-outs. I am an adult with access to stronger stuff if I am thus inclined, though to be fair they could get x-rated and I still wouldn’t be able to sit through so many episodes of plotlessness for that.

32 Fake Princess - I love Zhao Yi Qin, but the guy needs to pick better projects. The female lead in this one has the voice and personality that can strip paint but the story is also doing nobody any favors.

31 The Changan Youth - I lost my brain checking this out. I had to go and read a dense treatise on medieval coinage or Mayan farming to try to recover it.

30 My Dear Destiny - kinda cheesy fun. It honestly shouldn’t be as low except it really feels like community theater.

29 Handsome Siblings - why is the Nic Tse version so good and this one so bad? True mystery for the ages. Chen Zhe Yuan is the sole reason this isn’t lower, because that kid tries SO HARD to make this drama bearable and almost succeeds. I can’t wait to see him in Sha Po Lang which actually will give him something to do.

28 In a Class of Her Own - see my comment on The Changan Youth. But at least Song Weilong is gorgeous to look at.

27 General’s Lady - inoffensive, pretty and so utterly pointless.

26 The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion - those two leading actors are a no go to me but at least they considerately acted with each other instead of ruining two dramas for me. It’s very pretty though.

25 Jiu Liu Overlord - it’s a mess and I bailed, but I placed it this high merely due to the fact that Lai Yi finally gets a leading role and he’s sexy as fuck and I am shallow. Whoever styled Bai Lu should never work again except at a circus, however.

24 Cross Fire - not my genre and Luhan will always look too much like my cousin for comfort, but it’s a surprisingly gripping and dark drama. I liked it!

23 God of Lost Fantasy - if you want to watch a mediocre wuxia/xianxia, this is not a bad choice. Probably better than Legend of Fei actually, because at least it doesn’t have an A-list cast to waste and gives us Sheng Yilun himbo and shirtless.

22 Renascence - the insane cuts (it went from 70 eps to 36!!!) made a fairly cheesy story into a total mess. But I had a good time until I finally bailed mainly because of the male lead (Chen Zhe Yuan yet again carrying a not-good 2020 drama on his shoulders; the guy should be nicknamed Atlas) and the insane but in a fun way story. The female lead (both the character and the actress) were not up to par but oh well.

21 Legend of Fei - only this high because objectively there is nothing I disliked it. But there is nothing I liked either. The most uninspired drama on the list. If you could eat cardboard, this is what it would taste like.

20 Ever Night 2 - compared to EN1, it’s a waste of film. On its own merits, it’s not very good (the cast replacements are uniformly inferior and Dylan Wang is so wrong for Ning Que I cannot even put it into words; the script is useless.) But it had some parts I loved so very VERY much (all the shippy stuff was perfection) so I don’t feel too bitter.

19 Castle in the Sky 2 - a lovely if not too complex fairy tale. It is inferior to its prequel because it doesn’t have Zhang Ruo Yun who elevated it, but it’s still a solid bit of fun.

18 The Great Ruler - it’s very high fantasy, very pretty, and surprisingly involving.

17 (tie) Legend of Two Sisters in the Chaos - the secondary couple steals the show but the rest is not too bad if not too involving.

17 Legend of Awakening - a solid bit of fun with a seriously BDSM streak (theme this year apparently - but come on, the lead’s powers only activate when he’s in extreme pain!) It’s a bit generic and the costuming is done by a blind person, not to mention the OTP is a NOTP, but the rest of relationships (romantic and platonic) are wonderful (I live for the found siblings story in this one) and I like most of the characters.

16 Consummation - a rare modern cdrama I liked; a sweet coming of age story (and love story) even if wrapped in a pretty weird virtual reality concept.

15 Oops the King is in Love - this is how you do a low budget, sweet, silly piece of fluff. Our heroine pretends to be a eunuch and crosses paths with a powerless young king and they are adorable, even more so than the drama.

14 Song of Glory - pretty solid, though draggy and I didn’t love the toothpaste filter. But A+ cast, excellent leading couple chemistry, Li Qin being a BAMF and a leading man (Qin Hao) who is actually an adult.

13 And the Winner is love - objectively kind of a mess (and the heroine has the brainpower of a gnat), but the OTP chemistry is excellent and Luo Yunxi fighting and flirting with a fan as finally a leading man is worth the price of admission.

12 Miss S - snazzy and snappy and stylish and whatever else starts with S.

11 Eternal Love of Dream - I don’t know if it would work for you as well if you weren’t a hardcore shipper for this OTP in Three Lives but I was and this was such a darling, wonderful, shippy delight; plus I love this type of high fantasy.

10 (tie) Maiden Holmes - solid and sweet and a wonderful OTP. Proves that functional doesn’t have to mean boring. If you watch one cross-dressing drama this year make it this one.

10 Qin Dynasty Epic - srs bsns history epic. I am not far into it but it’s so good and smart and visually stunning (if you love battles, this one is for you.)

9 Love Lasts Two Minds - I adored this so much more than I should objectively have, but it’s so beautiful (and no I am not just referring to Alan Yu’s face) and the OTP has wonderful chemistry and the story is solid, and the whole trope of her memory being wiped but falling for him all over again while he’s constantly and utterly devoted is a fave; plus he’s in pain and semi-dyng for most of it so sluuuurp (happy ending, don’t worry)

8 To Love - yes, a modern drama is this high! But it involves intensity, tragedy, genuine adults and sexiness that is Lin Gengxin. And there is an actual plot and darkness OMG!

7 Legend of Xiao Chuo - so beautiful, so fun, so full of gorgeousness of Shawn Dou. Plus, Liao is a rare setting for a cdrama and there are a lot of characters and stories I liked a LOT. Less ship content than I wanted but more than I expected.

6 The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so so delightful. I was literally laughing out loud. I have no idea if it will work as well if one isn’t a seasoned watcher of period cdrama/reader of web novels, with bonus for watching/reading Goodbye My Princess, but it was a complete delight for me (and yes, I shipped for real, as well. Best of both worlds.)

5 Twisted Fate of Love - Jin Han gets a leading period drama role! And he’s enjoying it to the hilt, excellent as a smart, twisty bastard who is also charming and so madly in love with heroine. Sun Yi is beautiful and tough and her chemistry with JH is on fire, the story never drags, and it’s so twisty and fun and just awesome.

4 Love In Between - the most underrated drama on this list. It has no big names or big budget, but it’s wuxia that’s clever, driven, tragic, hopeful and so beautifully shot. Three separate (amazing) OTPs, a leading man who is so not typical (a doctor who cannot fight and who never acquires this ability) and who is intense and smart and damaged, a heroine who puts her quest ahead of her emotions, an unhealthy degree of involvement by yours truly. This is a drama Fei should have been.

3 Love and Redemption - such a lovely, addictive, utterly romantic fairy tale. I was obsessed with it for a reason. All the tropes you love and some you didn’t know you did, a star-crossed OTP to the nth power (and a secondary OTP I hardcore love), a twisty yet coherent plot, some insane chemistry and so much whump and hurt/comfort they must have bought blood packets in bulk.

2 Go Ahead - yes, I can’t believe it either. A contemporary slice of life cdrama made it this high on my list. But the way it feels so real, the found family perfection, the characters I love and loathe, the perfect cherry of a wonderful OTP that hits my narrative kinks on top, and just a perfect storm of loveliness all around with this one.

1 The Wolf - is that any surprise to anyone who’s checked out this tumblr for the last couple of months? Tragic, intense and gorgeous; so romantic and angsty and passionate it made me lose my mind (though some of it was gone the moment the camera panned to Darren Wang) - all my favorite tropes and then some; this is a drama that may not be perfect but it is 100% and then beyond perfect for ME.

FAVORITE DRAMA

The Wolf - I have seen objectively better cdramas; even this year. But it has been literal years since I have been this hardcore obsessed, this utterly pleased, this emotionally catered to and devastated at once. A beautiful dark fairy tale that manages to own me despite the storytelling gaps due to censorship, it took me for one of the biggest emotional roller coaster rides of my drama watching career. Visually gorgeous, poetic, intense, and so romantic it took my breath away, this is not just my favorite cdrama of 2020, it’s my favorite drama this year period, and the one cdrama this year to make it into my permanent Top 10 cdramas list.

WORST DRAMA

Legend of Jin Yan - see my write up for it for why as I refuse to waste more time on this stupid mess.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Wolfie, The Wolf - he is such a haunted, tormented, complex, dark mess; loving and violent, severely damaged and with a hidden yearning softness, longing and aloof. And the amount of charisma and sheer masculine sex appeal Darren Wang brings to the role is insane and not something I see much of in a cdrama. Plus, that character arc with its rapid fall and slow painful redemption is A++++

Runner Up:  Sifeng, Love and Redemption - has a male lead ever loved more utterly and selflessly, suffered more thoroughly and beautifully, and managed to have such chemistry with both his leading lady and his leading man (that his leading lady temporarily turned into) at once? The answer is no.

Almost made the cut - Feng Xi, Twisted Fate of Love, Han Shuo, The Romance of Tiger and Rose, Qing Ci, Love in Between.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Qian, The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so funny, so much the reason this drama was such a delight. I adore her beyond words.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Murder Daddy, The Wolf - I am sad the censors robbed us of seeing him die on screen. He was fully human but nonetheless managed to be the worst monster in a drama full of literal ones.

Ling Xiao’s Mom, Go Ahead - I hate her so much I don’t want to look up her name. She abused the kid, the disappeared and came back to abuse him some more. I mean she literally gave her child mental health issues. She is the WORST.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xing’er x Wolfie, The Wolf - are you kidding me? Who else could it ever be for me? They destroyed each other and saved each other, sworn enemies and childhood lovers, soulmates and epic messes, they couldn’t live with or without each other. The longing, the passion, the intensity, the angst, the epicness. LIKE THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Si Yuan, Shen Manqing, Love in Between - I loved them as much and often more than the main OTP. So much angst and passion and a happy ending! She is a seeming sect darling (except the sect is horrible and also sexist so her only worth is as a marriage candidate) and he’s an information broker who is actually one of the members of a destroyed sect that’s blamed for the massacre of her family. That chemistry and yearning is insane. The scene where she touches his face when he’s unconscious was in serious running for my favorite scene of 2020.

NOTP

Legend of Awakening - I have never seen a couple that didn’t just have no chemistry but exhibited actual revulsion towards each other before watching Chen Feiyu and Cheng Xiao try to act as lovers in this one. It was almost entertaining to be honest.

FAVORITE SCENE

It’s a tie and both are from The Wolf. One is a sequence where Wolfie marches to the walls alone, seeking death at Xing’er’s hands and the whole sequence with the battle and rescue follows. The other is the intercut between Xing’er going to her wedding and Wolfie going to his execution, and the auto-da-fe being intercut with her wedding.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Wolfie, The Wolf - Ummm have you seen this tumblr lately, it’s basically a drool shrine to the man.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yelü Yansage, The Legend of Xiao Chuo - I have loved this actor since The Myth and he continued to competently steal every scene he was in.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

To Love - come out of the coma, dammit!!!!!!!

NEEDS A DIRECTOR’S CUT

The Wolf - duh. It started out as 59 eps and got cut to 49. I reaiize some stuff is never gonna get put in due to censorship, but some of the stuff that got cut got for time reasons because they were deluded and hoping to get a TV broadcast so ep count had to be under 50. I mean I doubt the censors would care if they kept scenes of Wolfie building her a swing or whatever. I really really want a director’s cut the way Goodbye My Princess did even if like with GMP it’s only three extra eps. Hell, I will take extra three minutes, as long as those three minutes are Darren Wang shirtless or with a sword. Ahem.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

The Song of Glory - it’s a fairly solid drama but honestly it didn’t need to be as long as it was and kind of got draggy and I got lost interest. (I could have gotten snarky and said all the dramas I didn’t like needed scissors taken to them in their entirety but decided to play nice.)

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

There are a number of dramas I could complain about with regard to this (hi there, darling The Wolf!) but this award goes to Renascence - poor Renascence was never going to be a masterpiece, but it had the potential to be a bit of good cheesy fun until it had its run time cut by more than half and became an incoherent piece of insanity.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Dumb shrill innocent heroine who can’t tie her shoes - see basically all the cdramas I didn’t like this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Male lead torture - I mean it’s always open season on that in cdramas, but between Love and Redemption, The Wolf, Love Lasts Two Minds, Love in Between and so on, it was a banner year!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Legend of Fei - what a waste of that cast; what a waste of our finite time on this Earth. What a waste of my intelligence to hope for something better and stick with it for a dozen eps. I have had stale wonderbread that had more personality than this drama.There is absolutely nothing that stands out about this drama in any way,  from half-dimensional characters, to actors who are sleepwalking, to a plot that moves at the speed of an arthritic snail, to uninspired cinematography and direction, to lack of any chemistry between anyone in the cast. If paint-by-numbers was done by a group of particularly linear robots, it might come across the same way as this drama.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

The Wolf - honestly, I did not expect it to come out AT ALL EVER let alone to become my favorite drama of 2020. I was not familiar with the leading man (hahah), I liked Li Qin but wasn’t yet obsessed with her, and Xiao Zhan was excellent in The Untamed but I was hardly going to follow him from drama to drama (and I don’t do SLS any way.) And the trailer was enjoyable but unlike seemingly everyone, I didn’t think it was going to be some epic masterpiece. And then it came out and while it wasn’t objectively an epic masterpiece, it pulled out all the favorite tropes, shippy and narrative kinks from the deepest darkest recesses of my id. And I fell harder than I have in years. 

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

Novoland Eagle Flag and Joy of Life - they are in my Top 10 dramas from anywhere now. They are quite different except being smart and giving me protagonists to obsess over.

ETA: Also The Untamed because @idlewilds3 pointed out I actually watched it in 2020 even though I didn’t think so because this hellyear has lasted about three decades.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

I am gonna limit it to dozen and leaving out ones that aren’t necesarily supposed to air next year (Joy of Life 2, Love in Flames of War, Novoland Princess from Plateau.)

Monarch Industry, Novoland Pearl Eclipse, Silk Washing Stream, Dream of Changan, Sword Snow Stride, Wu Xing Shi Jia, Ancient Love Poetry, Immortality, The Long Ballad, Mirror Twin Cities, The Imperial Age, Fall In Love

#cdrama #legend of awakening #the wolf #go ahead #love and redemption #love in between #legend of fei #the legend of jin yan #the romance of tiger and rose #twisted fate of love #castle in the sky 2 #legend of xiao chuo #the legend of xiao chuo #oops the king is in love #unicorn girl #autumn cicada #you complete me #dance of the sky empire #skate into love #irreplaceable love #eternal love rain #for married doctoress #love designer #love is sweet #renascence #my dear destiny #the chang'an youth #god of lost fantasy #cross fire #handsome siblings

[lovelylogans]

parallax

parallax, noun: the apparent offset of a foreground object against the background when your perspective changes. at a given instant, the moon appears among different stars for observers at widely separated locations on earth. astronomers directly calculate the distance to a nearby star by measuring its incredibly small positional changes (its parallax) as earth orbits the sun.

warnings: staying up late, unhealthy study habits, please let me know if i’ve missed any!

pairing: virgil/logan

word count: 2,211

notes: this is for day 2 of @analogicalweek! the prompt of the day is “song/stars” and i have decided to write about stars! please enjoy!

⁂

“Barlow lens,” Virgil reads off the notecard.

“A lens that’s placed into the focusing tube to effectively double or triple a telescope’s focal length and, in turn, the magnification of any eyepiece used with it,” Logan recites. His glasses are off, his hands are over his eyes, and if not for the absurd amounts of coffee they had both consumed and the bright lights of the empty classroom they are occupying, Logan would probably fall asleep.

If not for the fact that Logan loves astronomy so much, he would gladly fold it in for the night and get some much-needed rest. As it is, Virgil is also in his class, and he does not hold the same inclination for the subject.

And also, Logan has a massive crush on Virgil and would likely do anything he asks, except Virgil doesn’t know that part. He likely thinks that Logan is helping him study because of his deep love of science.

“Good. Me now.”

Logan picks up a notecard at random and squints it, resettling his glasses on his nose. “Nebula.”

“Great clouds of glowing gas, lit up by stars inside or nearby.”

“Dark nebula?”

“Not lit up and are visible only because they block the light of stars behind them.”

“Latin for?”

“Cloud.”

“Good,” Logan says, tucking the notecard at the bottom of the pile, or as close as a pile as he can get. Their study materials have made quite a mess. The notecards that Logan made are sprawled across the table, some tucked under their notebooks, and Virgil’s pens are tossed along the table within easy reach. The whiteboard is already filled up with mixtures of both of their handwriting, highlighting key concepts that they’d wanted to go through in this study session. They’re almost all crossed out—all that’s left is general review of key terms.

“Oh, here’s a hard one for you,” Virgil says. His black hair is sticking up in tufts, because he’s been running his hands through it and tugging at the ends for the entirety of their marathon study session. It makes him look very cute. “Albedo feature, and tell me a prominent one.”

“A large area on the surface of a reflecting object that shows a significant contrast in brightness or darkness compared to adjacent areas,” Logan says. “And Syrtis Major, on Mars.”

“You didn’t even hesitate,” Virgil says. “You’re definitely gonna ace this final.”

“Well, obviously,” Logan says, and it only occurs to him to perhaps pretend at humbleness when Virgil snorts. Logan feels his face heat, and he says, “I mean—”

“Nah, nah, it’s cool,” Virgil says, stretching out his long, pale arms, and Logan hopes he isn’t too obvious as he stares at the subtle lines of his biceps, his triceps, his flexor carpi radialis. He had taken off his hoodie two hours in, and his binder not long after that, leaving him in a loose black cap-sleeved t-shirt. Seeing him in it is its own unique brand of torture. Surely if he can manage to recall terms while staring at Virgil’s collarbones and the hollow of his throat he will be able to withstand whatever foot-tapping and pencil-chewing will occur in the large lecture hall during their final.

“You’re the one who’s gonna go for a doctorate in this, it makes sense that you’re incredible at it,” Virgil says. “I know it’s a big deal for you.”

“It is,” Logan says. Virgil knows this. They know quite a lot about each others’ life stories—Logan is the first in his family to attend college in America, let alone achieve a doctorate here. His parents immigrated from Nigeria shortly after his birth and all of them have worked hard—his parents, to provide a life for him here, Logan, to get into a good university in the first place.

“I’m the one who has to worry about making it out of their lab elective with a decent enough grade.” 

He knows that Virgil works hard, too. Their scholarship depends on maintaining a certain grade point average. There is no way Virgil would have achieved this scholarship if he did not work hard, let alone the fact that they have been studying in each others’ presence for the entire school year.

“You’ve done wonderfully this semester,” Logan says stubbornly. “The only way you will fail is if they feed the scantron in wrong while they’re grading and that’s easily remedied.”

Virgil’s brow quirks. “Thanks, specs,” he says, then makes a face, as if realizing how much he sounded like Roman just then.

“It’s just,” Virgil says, then hesitates before he shrugs and looks down at his notebook, avoiding Logan’s eyes. “I dunno. Um, I never really thought college would be an option, ‘till I got my scholarships.”

Logan, familiar with this story, just nods.

“And I,” he sighs, before he says in a whisper, “I really like it here. At university. I didn’t expect to like it so much. I need—if I want to stay, and I do. I need those good grades. And I want to stay, and the scholarship’s let me put aside enough money so I nearly have enough for top surgery, which I won’t be able to do if I lose my scholarship. So. I’m a bit.” A drum of his fingers. “A bit anxious.”

Logan surveys Virgil for a few seconds.

Virgil’s black bangs has swept over his face, obscuring most of his expression from Logan’s view. But he can see the muscle in Virgil’s jaw jumping, his shoulders practically hiked up to his ears. Even without the verbal acknowledgement, Virgil is portraying enough of the physical signs of anxiety that is obvious even to Logan’s emotionally oblivious eye.

Logan pauses, before he reaches across and places his hand on Virgil’s wrist. He likes the feel of it there—Virgil’s skin, chilled from the air conditioning, cooling Logan’s warm palm. He likes the look of it, too, the contrast of them, Logan’s skin seeming even darker against Virgil’s paleness. Considering Logan is black, this is something of a feat, and Virgil would likely have some sort of joke about how he is so absurdly pale that he manages to refract light.

Virgil looks up and chuckles awkwardly.

“But, y’know,” he says. “When am I not a bit anxious, right?”

He does not dislodge Logan’s hand, though. Instead he covers Logan’s hand with his own—his hand is quite large, and it is also cool from the air conditioning. The temperature of Virgil’s hand does not quite explain the jolt in Logan’s stomach.

Logan considers him for a few more moments.

“I have another astronomical term for you to learn,” Logan says decisively, and slides off the desk, standing on his own two feet “But you’ll have to follow me to learn it.”

Virgil’s lip quirks up. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Virgil smile widens. “All right, then.”

Logan’s stomach flutters, and he quickly turns his attention to gathering his notecards and notebooks as tidily and swiftly as possible, placing them into his backpack.

Virgil puts all of his things in his own backpack, and when Logan asks him if he’s ready, he simply ambles along after Logan as they walk out of the empty, quiet building on their university campus’ quadrangle. 

Logan leads them to the center of the grassy area, looking around, before he nods decisively and sets his backpack on the ground. He opens a pocket and fishes out the compact travel blanket he has in there.

Virgil laughs as Logan unfolds it. “You have a blanket in there?”

“Of course I have a blanket in here,” Logan says, shaking out the blanket before he lays it out on the grass. “Blankets are ideal for providing significant warmth and offering protection from hypothermia and precipitation.”

“You and your Mary Poppins backpack,” Virgil says, but there is a tone in his voice that Logan... hesitates to describe.

Is it, perhaps, fondness?

No. Logan is likely projecting his crush onto Virgil. He has a tendency to do that. Wishful thinking has been studied by various disciplines of thought and it is a very common occurrence for many people.

Logan wishes it would not be so common for him, though.

Virgil sits on the blanket, then.

“So,” he prompts. “That astronomical term you wanted to teach me?”

Logan smiles, just a little.

“Star party,” he says. “A gathering of amateur astronomers for the purpose of observing objects and events in the sky.”

He tilts back so he’s lying down on his back. He would be looking directly up at the sky, but he tilts his head so he can see Virgil instead.

Virgil’s smile has gone soft. “You want to star-gaze with me?”

As an answer, Logan pats the blanket, as a silent entreatment for Virgil to lie back. Virgil grins, shaking his head, before he acquiesces, settling on the blanket.

It would be so easy to reach over and touch him. It would be only a little bit more effort to roll and balance himself on his elbows, so his face hovers above Virgil’s. And from there it would just be the slightest downward tilt—

Logan redirects his attention to the night sky.

Though it is, obviously, not quite as good a view as they would have had in a more rural location—light pollution is a given on such a large campus—it is still quite a nice night. There are very little clouds in the sky and it is late enough that the moon hangs almost directly overhead. 

Logan points upward at a slight slant, using his right arm rather than his left, so that he will be able to look over and see Virgil’s face without having to lower his arm. “Polaris.”

Virgil shifts, close enough that it would only take the slightest jostle for their arms to touch. “The north star,” he says, and squints up at the sky. “Which means,” he reaches up to take Logan’s wrist in hand, using his outer arm, not the arm that is nearly touching Logan’s, and directs it slightly and Logan can’t breathe, “that Ursa Minor is right over here. Shame we can’t really see it.”

Logan hesitates, biting his lip, before he directs both of their hands again. 

“We can slightly see Ursa Major, though.”

Virgil shifts again, his shoulder pressed against Logan’s. “Huh. We sure can.”

Logan traces the shape in the sky, Virgil’s hand cool, loosely wrapped around his wrist. Logan hopes that Virgil cannot feel how quick his pulse is. “Colloquially known as the Big Dipper.”

Virgil shifts again. Their legs are pressed together now.

Logan continues, trying his hardest not to react, “Though of course, the Big Dipper is only part of Ursa Major. An easy point to find so you can see the rest of the Big Bear, which is—which is a more direct title for Ursa Major.”

“Mhm,” Virgil hums. He can feel the warmth of Virgil’s breath at the shell of his ear. “Hey, I think I see Orion?”

Logan would look up at the sky to continue his quasi-lecture, but instead he turns his head so that he will be able to see Virgil.

Virgil turns at the same time. There is a soft smile on his face.

Logan swallows hard. A hand around his wrist. Continually shifting closer to touch him. What he’d thought might be fondness in Virgil’s voice.

Conjecture: perhaps... Logan isn’t submitting to wishful thinking. Perhaps Logan is simply observing.

“Virgil?” He whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Are you flirting with me?”

Virgil’s eyes crinkle up as his smile widens.

“Logan, I’ve been trying to flirt with you all semester.”

“Oh,” he breathes out. “Okay.”

Virgil lowers their hands from pointing at the sky so their arms rest upon their bodies, and he shifts his hands so that his fingers intertwine with Logan’s.

“I really like you,” Virgil says. His voice is trembling. His hand is shaking in Logan’s.

Logan’s eyes sting. He squeezes Virgil’s hand tightly. “I really like you too.”

Virgil laughs, but it sounds relieved more than anything.

“Um, okay,” Virgil says, looking a little stunned, as if he did not expect this to go as well as it is going. It’s very likely he did not, considering his anxiety disorder. “Cool. That’s—yeah. Great. Um. Wow.”

“I,” Logan says, and he bites his lip. “I do not have much experience with this. Liking boys. Dating, at all. I would like to have that experience with you. Would it be acceptable if I were to kiss you right now?”

“Incredibly,” Virgil says, “Incredibly acceptable.”

Logan releases Virgil’s hand, and carefully rolls so that he is hovering over Virgil the best he can. He has never approached kissing anyone like this before.

He has never kissed anyone before.

Logan takes in a deep breath, swallows hard, and figures he may as well just make an attempt. His heart is thundering in his chest. His hands are sweaty. He angles his face toward Virgil’s and closes his eyes.

Virgil’s hand settles on Logan’s back, and their lips meet.

And very suddenly, the two activities presented to Logan right now are star-gazing or kissing Virgil. And now he is kissing Virgil. He finds that he does not want to stop kissing Virgil.

Star-gazing would have to wait.

#my post #text #my fic #analogical #analogicalweek #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #virgil sanders #logan sanders

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “World War V.”

I realize the title would be a lot more clever if V wasn’t also the roman numeral for 5, but whatever.

I know this one is a bit over the top but in the immortal words of one of my favorite authors “err on the side of awesome.” and I will not apologize.

But I am interested, at the end, comment what two songs you would use in this scenario. I am intrigued. I will tell you the songs I imagined at the end of the story :)

“So, your plan is to…. Intentionally wake the dead?”

“Wake the, very long hibernated, and then blast them with hard rock music while we mow them down with machine guns? And…. remind me YOU are the GA armada Admiral? And this is your tactical genius.”

Admiral Adam Vir adjusted the chestplate of his space suit, “Well say anything in that sort of voice and it will sound stupid, but hear me out. It is much easier to take something out all at once than it is to go hunting them down one by one and having to worry about missing something. We bring in the helicopters, and the vibration of the rotors will disturb the ground causing the infected vrul to rise. Now knowing the Vrul, and knowing that complicated beats affect their ability to navigate, move and completely wipe out their fine motor control. Furthermore, they seem attracted to vibrations in the air and through the ground which means we will be able to confuse them even more and keep them away from the city. Barring that, the Vrul have their force fields up, which are more than a match for light machine gun fire and will even keep out the strange pollen.. There is no better time to deal with this.”

He tucked his helmet under one arm, “I trust that makes sense to everyone?’ he turned around to the docking bay where over fifty men and women stood in neat rows of polished flight suits, helmets tucked under their arms. As he spoke, their heels snapped together with a loud crackle, and their hands rose into a salute.

Behind them double the amount of marines raised their hands into the air and chanted with loud voices that rose into the air with a roar.

Admiral Vir turned to the commander of the 113th graduating class of Earth’s UNSC Airborne Helicopter division, which he had brought in on special loan. These men and women were yet to fly any real tactical missions though they had all logged thousands of hours of flight already in their careers. Many of them had never left earth until this moment, and their first mission was going to be on the face on an alien planet.

He smiled, “if you knew as much as I did about aliens, Major, you might understand why we are doing something that seems so ludicrous, but sometimes when dealing with extraterrestrials, this is what we have to do.”

He turned to where a line of fifty pod shaped objects were being loaded one by one onto a rolling rail leading towards the airlock. Beside it half a dozen small fluffy shapes were busy overseeing the attachment of fifty identical Sonic cannons to the front bottom of each. There was a break in their work as one of the small creatures came waddling across the deck.

Admiral Vir Knelt down setting his hand on the floor and allowing Lord Avex to step onto his hand and then onto his shoulder as he stood back up.

The rest of the crowd watched in wide eyed awe, though they were, luckily, well trained enough not to do or say anything stupid despite their large eyes and quivering lips, which suggested they wanted nothing better than to cuddle the stuffed-animal esque alien that rested on his shoulder, “The cannons are in place, Admiral, and I have examined each of the pods, and the yare ready to be deployed.”

“Thank you Lord Avex, your work is much appreciated.”

It was just then that Sunny walked across the deck to join them. She was wearing her space suit as well and carried her helmet under one arm. The new recruits staired on in shock as she walked over to stand next to him, “The machine guns have been mounted and are ready to go Admiral, A few of our number have volunteered to go with the marines as extra support. Behind her at least a dozen other Drev raised their fists into the air and chanted their excitement not all that different from the line of marines on the far end of the hanger.

Admiral Vir nodded turning back towards the group of young pilots, not much younger than himself, and stepped up onto the nearest crate.

“On behave of the Galactic Assembly and the Vrul council, I thank all the men and women here for agreeing to accompany us on this mission today. You will be the first airborne unit in history to participate in an operation off Earth as their first assignment. You are thousands of lightyears away from home, orbiting an alien planet thousands of years older than our own, and today your mission is not one of destruction, but of liberation. For thousands of years the Vrul have been trapped inside their walls, until time and tradition made them forget about the dangers lurking outside.” he turned his eyes to look over every last man and women that stood before him, “What we are about to face is like nothing humanity has ever faced before, below the soil of this planet lies a plague dormant for thousands of years, a horde like locusts ready to rise up and infect the city. Now we have our protections, we have our suits, and the Vrul have their shielded city, but it is our job to start riding the planet of it’s plague.” He smiled, “Plus it always helps to have door mounted machine guns and a little rock ‘n roll.”

There was a sharp cheer from the men and women before him who raised their fists into the air. Behind them the marines joined in, and so did the Drev, who, he was pleased to say, had taken to rock like they had guitar solos for breakfast.

Still grinning, he reached up, pulled on his helmet, “Right, let’s get this done.”

He pointed to Sunny, Ramirez, Maverick and a few others, “With me in the elad chopper. The rest of you split off and gear up.”

His words were obeyed almost immediately as he stepped  over to what had once looked like a pod, but was now clearly a very specialized sort of chopper. 

As he slid into the pilot’s seat, and the others strapped in behind, he heard, “I thought you were a fighter pilot, not a helicopter pilot.” They pulled on their helmets.

Adam adjusted his harnesses, “I can fly anything from space ships to paper plans, you can bet your ass if it leaves the ground, I know how to fly it.”

Maverick buckled herself into the door gunner position, “Yeah, but if it has wheels, you better bet he’s probably gonna back it over your mailbox.”

“Put a sock in it Maverick, that is hardly my fault. I never really got the opportunity to practice.”

The door at the back shut and locked tight.

All around them other doors were being locked into place, and once all of the pilots had indicated they were ready to go, Admiral Vir gave the signal, and he felt the ship change course. He adjusted his comms set and called up to the bridge where Simon would be piloting them into position.

“How are we looking, Somon.”

“Almost in position Admiral.”

“Now remember to pull back into low orbit once you let us drop, or else the gravity well is going to pull you in, and it is going to be a bitch to get her back out.” “Yes sir, I know sir.”

“Good.”

He turned his eyes forward as a red light burst into life above their heads. Everyone evacuated the airlock as the fifty pods were brought by rail towards the doors. Behind him he could hear the others chanting something, though his heart was hammering so hard he could hardly hear what they were saying.

Funny thing is he bet he felt like every one of those new pilots getting ready for their first mission. He didn’t know if it was just him, but it felt like this every single time, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He ignored the tingling sensation in his bladder as the light blinked green before the airlock door, and the ramp slid open.

All went silent, and below him he watched as the light of the vrul homeworld washed over the deck before him pouring like golden honey.

The sight was breathtaking, steeling the air from his lungs as he looked down.

“Damn.” 

It would just never get old.would it.

“Prepare for drop, in three, two, one, drop.”

The latch on the back of the rail released, and suddenly they were falling away from the ship. Adam was pressed back in his seat as they accelerated downwards towards the open atmosphere.

Lights blinked on the console ahead of him and the tracking screen picked up his target.

They were approaching, and they were approaching fast.

They were entering the atmosphere now, and he felt it as their pod began to rock and rattled around him and fire began to lick up on the southside of his pod. It was almost deafening as they roared into the atmosphere. He turned on his comms watching as other pods roared into the atmosphere back and behind him. He could see them on his radar as they roared downward.

He had to wonder what it must be like for them.

Their first mission, and they were doing a high altitude drop onto an alien planet.

He almost envied them their excitement. Because he had done stuff like this before, and he was still grinning like an idiot.

Light rose up around them as the sky behind them turned blue. Clouds passed below them in great swaths, and he reached down to the controls ready to deploy.

He set of a general count for the rest of the pilots.

Three 

Two

One.

He pulled the release, and the engine roared to life. There was a sudden firing as the engine spurted downward, lifting them airborne for a second and slowing their descent. His innards dropped as G force allowed his stomach to crawl into his feet. Then the rotors deployed like a fan. There was a sharp chunk and then a whirr as they began to fall again, and then the rotors caught, and began to spin. The rear rotor did the same sliding into position. Both caught with a roar, and he whooped with adrenaline.

He toggled his radio.

“Alright, ready the door gun.”

Behind him the doors were slid open, causing a rush of air to blast into the open carriage as Maverick rolled the gun into position and locked it at the door with a loud snap. On the other side Maverick was doing the same. Beside him. Sunny took control of the extra rear mounted guns set in place especially for this mission.

Adam had the guns already built into the chopper, as well as missiles if he felt like it.

Beside him and below him, he watched as the fifty other choppers deployed like his. Some of them were a bit wobbly, but everything he saw seemed to go well.

“Alright everyone take it in low, and on my mark deploy the cannons.”

He angled them lower roaring towards his target.

Below them, the Vrul city was a glassy blue purple bubble against the orange, brown landscape.

He took point, and the other choppers fell into flight beside him, clustered in ten open groups of five helicopters each, and together they rolled in low over the landscape, not twenty feet above the ground in some cases, though those were only the pilots who were comfortable getting that close. From here he could see the thudding of their rotors causing the dirt to shake and the strange trees to quiver. 

The wildlife began to roll out in different directions, racing across the ground and away from the roaring choppers as if they knew what was coming, He scanned the ground, with Maverick and Ramriez leaning on the machine guns behind him.

“See anything yet?”

“Not yet.”

He opened his comms to everyone else, “Alright everyone, deploy sonic cannons in three, two, one go.” 

The first line of lyrics, and the first drumline rolled from the directional cannons, blasting the ground with a focused beam of sound like a laser for noise.

He whooped bobbing his head to the music, the sound so powerful he was able to hear it over the roaring of the rotors.

He sure hoped the Vrul had taken his advise and hidden in inside bunkers for this.

They roared over the landscape turning in a huge clockwise circle over the landscape.

“Report if you see anything.” he ordered.

At first, it didn’t seem like anything was going to happen, and he worried that his idea, which had seemed so cool and tactical to begin with , was nothing but a waste of resources. How embarrassing was that going to be to explain to the UNSC.

Yes, I borrowed the entire 113th graduating class to go on a joyride around the Vrul capital city, yes here is my rank and gun, I will now go live on the moon in exile never to show my face again.

“Sir! I have something.”

“Go.”

“Just south of the city, sir. I have movement coming from the trees in thermal.”

“Same here sir.” 

He was at the point of the circle, so he wasn’t likely to see it, made sense.

“Alright , let’s give it a pass. I want as many of those bugs out of the ground before we start shooting.”

They roared over the ground with the sound of the base rattling the stone below them. As he watched, one of the strange animals he had seen running, tipped over as the cannon passed over it and fell to the ground twitching. Apparently pattern tolerance was not something that many things on this planet had.

“Sorry guy, but things are going to be better when we are done.”

Rocks jumped and rattled as they took a wide turn around the city.

He could see the shield pulsing against the sonic waves that were bouncing off the ground and back into the air.

The blades of the helicopters cut through the air so fast it was like a light grey translucent wall against the sky.

They had almost made a full rotation.

“Holy shit.” for a second he wondered who had spoken until he realised that it was himself.

They were everywhere, swarming like ants over the landscape, turning the ground black in some places as they crawled over each other in confused circles. As the music got closer, their purposeful movement turned into awkward confusion.

“Stagger!.”

The formations staggered, falling behind each other so that everyone was always covering one segment.

“Ready to deploy the  sonic attack on my mark, in three, two, one, mark.”

It was a guitar solo this time, one that he had listened to thousands of times, and one that he couldn't have resisted using to kill zombie Vrul.

Th drumline cut in as the third obvious pattern in the song, and as it roared over the wave of Zombified Vrul, there was an immediate reaction as they all began staggering and falling to the ground, behind him he felt as the guns opened fire on either side with a sharp burrrr as the rotating barrels started spitting hot lead at 1,000 rounds per minute.

He laughed with something like maniacal glee as the powerful rounds poured into the infected creatures ripping them apart sometimes four at a time sending a wave of yellow pollen up into the air, to be kicked up by helicopter blades as they passed over. His circle kept him closest to the wall, so he was able to catch the majority of them before they could even attempt to make it to the city.

He toggled his own guns, and stitched a line of bullets over a completely black mass, which erupted into a burst of yellow. His circle took him around to where the Vrul had managed to make it to the wall of the city, and had begun climbing each other like they planned to create a ladder using bodies to the top of the wall. He gunned them down with great prejudice. As they moved along the wall, more and more of the creatures had piled themselves higher and higher, but that is not a trend that they allowed to last long. One of the piles managed to make itself three quarters of the way up the wall before their sonic attack hit them, causing the tower to collapse as both glorious drum lines and bullets roared into them.

He carved a circle through the sky coming over their first line of attack, where dark bodies were doing the best to crawl over their fallen brethren and pools of yellowed pollen having fallen to the ground. Ahead of him he could see a cloud of yellow where the following helicopter was stitching tis way over the landscape with great prejudice.

Behind him, he thought he heard Maverick cackle like a swamp witch as she loaded another belt of ammunition.

Yeah sure people back home were cool, but they would never be this cool, flying over an alien landscape, killing alien zombies while listening to a little ACDC, They could dream but nothing would ever be more awesome.

He couldn’t wait to tell his siblings.

His sister would be so jealous.

She had always been a fan of the zombie genre.

“Admiral, Admiral I think some of them are starting to fly.” Came the nervous comment over the com.

“Alright, remember the drill, just keep calm, and go higher if you can, then when you have enough clustered below you, drop one of the canisters.”

There was an acknowledgement over the comms.

With that announcement still running through his head, he got ready to drop one of his own canisters.

He was in view of the last helicopter as it rose into the air pursued by hundreds of little black dots that would erupt into yellow spores as they were hit by machine gun fire, and then something dropped from the bottom of the chopper, and then exploded just above the rising infected.

Thousands of tiny organic needles rained down on the vrul, cutting straight through their helium sacks, and sending them crashing downwards, into their companions, and finally to the ground where they erupted on impact, killing even more of their companions.

Up ahead, a wall of black rose before him, but he was faster.

They rose into the air and he roared over the wall, dropping one two and then three canisters in quick succession causing a wave of them to drop to the ground. The following helicopters followed his lead. He was having to rise higher and higher into the air, but still he was managing to keep ahead of them, they were slow and he was fast, but that didn’t stop a few of them from getting in front of him. 

There was a jolt as his rotors hit one of them, and he gritted his teeth, it was fine, one or two was fine as long as he didn’t allow them to gum it up.

He pulled back and up and continued to drop more and more of the caisters.

One or two of them floated high enough to make it close to his sonic cannon, but they were blown back and the pressure caused their helium sacks to rupture.

***

The Vrul council stood on the wall overlooking the outside of the city as a wall of the Vrul infected rose into the sky obscuring everything in a wave of dark bodies. Human helicopters roared in a wide circle around the city, and everywhere they went yellow spores erupted into the air. All of them wore safety masks as a precaution, but that didn’t stop the fear that rose up in them as they stepped back arms held out in shock. Dr. Krill stared on in fascination and awe. He wasn’t wearing hearing protection like the others, he could handle human music to a certain degree, and it was pretty muffled through the shielding.

He watched in shock and awe as one of the helicopters cut too low, and rolled right into a dense thicket of the floating bodies. There was a horrific eruption of yellow as the rotors caught hundreds of the creatures, and then the helicopter itself began to spin out of control crashing and rupturing Vrul as it roared towards the ground.

The emergency systems deployed firing one last time to slow the chopper’s crash. The sudden burst of flame ruptured a line of the Vrul infected before it finally plowed into the ground sending up a wave of yellow spores.

“Sweet Nebulon.” one of the council muttered.

Two more helicopters went down, and it looked as if there weren't going to be enough bullets.

What had they done!”

***

“Everyone, On me, increase sonic cannons! Now!” he had seen the three choppers go down, and he had seen all three of their safety measures deploy, but he couldn’t be sure if any of them had survived. “Avoid the crash sites. Everyone on me!”

The entire fleet of remaining choppers clustered together turning up the volume on their sonic cannons, and the combined force was so powerful that some of the bodies began to rupture even without gunfire though it still tore downwards.

They took two more passes before he saw his ammunition running low. That was fine. The Vrul bodies were no longer coming in waves and it would be harder to hit them from above, now that they weren’t just coming in a wave.

He aimed for one of the crash sites.

“I want a group of us to set down. Only choppers with Drev on them!”

There was agreement as ten choppers split off to the three crash sites.

Adam roared down from the sky, and set down on a smoking heap of yellow coated bodies.

He cut the engine , and reach back to pull his spear from where it was attached to the floor of the chopper. It wasn’t a Drev spear and it wasn’t a human spear but something in between, with the reverse spike on the end like they had done with the NeoSpartans.

He turned in his seat just in time to see the two marines push their machine guns out of position and one of the infected Vrul to come charing at Ramirez.

A spear appeared in his hand in that moment, and he ran it through the face.

Sunny was behind him a second later, and together they were out the door, three of them armed with spears, maverick armed with her assault rifle, and together they made their way towards the downed chopper.

Making it there just in time to see as a pile of clustered Vrul was ruptured from within, and a very angry Drev came roaring out.

He recognized from the height who it was.

“Kanan!” he heard Sunny yell.

They ran over to help, sweeping through the cluster of Vrul zombies before they began fanning out across the open plane.

He turned up the speakers on the outside of his suit and allowed it to blare music as he raced towards anything that still looked to be moving. A few of them were still floating into the sky, but the remaining helicopters were taking care of those, and Maverick from the ground on occasion.

He ran one through the face, turned and clubbed the other in the head like he was swinging  for a home run.

His blad sliced straight through the neck of one as he staggered over the uneven ground.

To the side of him, sunny was cutting through them with impunity like a god of war, touching them though they never touched her, the yellowed gore spattering her suit.

As more and more of the Vrul were cut out of the sky, more and more choppers landed, and men and women filed out, running in open lines, using whatever the could to dispatch the remaining bodies.

He saw one of the new pilots grab a Vrul by the neck, and twist it like he was breaking the neck of a chicken, surprised when the entire head came off. He kind of hoped the Vrul council did not see that.

By the end of the battle. Four of their choppers had been downed. Two humans were dead, both of them in the crashes, and at least four more critically injured.

He felt bad about it.

But he couldn’t have predicted that.

At least none of the pilots had died.

Two of his marines had though, tossed from the choppers as they were falling from the sky. It made him sick to think about their families, the ones that he would have to send letters to, but he tried not to think about that for now.

Thousand upon thousands of the vrul zombies were dead, and even as he thought this dozens more were being dispatched by hand by humans who were no more than walking radios at this point, having chosen their own theme songs to fight zombies.

Some of thor picks were quite surprising, though he couldn’t blame them for their humor or their irony.

They still had a long way to go, but at least he knew how it could be done.

Vrul past, hopefully, would never come back to haunt them. 

The two songs I imagine Adam picked for this was 

First: Raise Hell - Dorothy

Second: Thunderstruck - ACDC

[galadhremmin]

I love your Finrod-Carcharoth story! I like Finrod, objectively, as a character, although I get why others don't, it does seem as if the fandom sanatises him a bit. He strokes me as one of those characters for whom being perceived as good is more important than strictly altruistic deeds: I think the forced metamorphosis and unveiling of mirrors in your story really compounded his narrative arc for me - you're such a good writer!!

this is such a sweet message, thank you :')

I really enjoyed writing that story! It's maybe the one closest to my heart. ♥ The funny thing is, I think the Carcharoth transformation story works even with the versions of canon that include the least possible amount of morally grey Finrod. I am fond of the Finrod paid for Petty Dwarves expulsion HoME version! It makes sense of a lot of dynamics and tidbits about the Petty Dwarves to me.

But even in the most saintly version I got the impression that Finrod does not have an entirely positive opinion of himself because of how I read the Song battle. Not being able to acknowledge/face the murderous way the ships he was prepared to sail were acquired (quite likely the murder of his own extended family as well --and he is also a Telerin royal) doesn't make him a bad person to me; but it does make him very vulnerable to Sauron, who I think in canon both tempts (Galadriel) and defeats (Finrod) people with their self image.

A worse person would not feel as guilty, or be defeated by being forced to face the memory (on the other hand --maybe an even better person would not have been willing to sail those ships at all-- and he knows it, and judges himself for it; his ambition, pride and curiosity have taken precedence).

He comforts himself with beauty (treasure taken over the ice), he wants to believe the world is or at least will be a better place no matter what Andreth says; I get the impression he is someone whose response to very painful things is to not want to look at them.

As for the perception of good being given more importance than actual good-- I think as a public figure that makes some sense, if he is to model the 'correct' behaviour that influences his subjects in real ways (for example his attitude to the Edain). The caring about image/memory in song is something the Noldor as a culture care a lot about-- it's mentioned repeatedly as a motivator. I do think there is an element of vanity to it, and pride (which both he and Galadriel are mentioned as having). The transformation to me is about wishing very deeply to be a better/more successful person than you are, or at least to be remembered as one, and about the danger of not wanting to face the reality of yourself and the situation both-- it leaves you open to being tempted by false images, and to doing harm in chasing them, and facing so much pain in estrangement from self.

(it's important to be able to face who you are and what what choices you have made, no matter if you wished the story went differently, no matter if you wish you were better-- because if you refuse to face your image you might find someone is willing to shatter you with it.)

Anyway SORRY lmao this was such a sweet message and i respond with an incoherent long long vaguely Finrod Psychology rant hahahah.

#i love to think about what could possibly be going on in that noggin #finrod #i should just retitle this blog My Finrod Fixation at this point it's very embarrassing

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Series Thoughts—The Variant

With the release of episode 2, I’m back with another analysis. Spoilers ahead!! This will be a combination of personal thoughts, theories, and objective analysis. This is overall, a positive review, so if you do not want to see that, I would not recommend continuing to read. I am however more than open to some friendly debate and discussion over any and all of the following points, whether you agree or disagree with them.

With all that being said, let’s dive in:

I feel gypped on the Holding out for a Hero fight scene. I mean, I liked how the scene was shot, especially with the whole loudspeaker thing (it set the mood very well), but where’s Loki fighting to that song?

Alright, I might as well address the elephant in the room: Is Loki OOC? Well, for my money, the answer is both yes and no. And I don’t mean to be wishy-washy; it really kind of depends on how you define OOC and/or who exactly you take this Loki to be.

What does OOC mean? To me, the literal definition of “out of character” would be the character acting in a way unlike they’ve been seen acting before. Likewise, according to Collins Dictionary it would be defined as “not typical of the apparent character of a person or thing.” Now, that’s a bit too black and white. What if you have a character in a new situation, how do you know how they’d react? By analyzing their past actions and seeing if they line up. And if you stop at this point and deem Loki entirely OOC, well you’re allowed to and that’s valid. I, however, would not say entirely is the word to use. Somewhat, yes, but not terribly and not inexcusably so. I’ll come back to this in a moment.

Who is this Loki? He’s the one right after the Avengers, of course, but he’s something different too. Think about it, the whole series is centered around how different choices can shape the very fabric of the universe. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that changes in Loki’s story would cause him to behave differently than what we’ve seen before? This is, in essence, a different Loki, albeit one who’s own narrative is shaped by a shared backstory with ours. It even says it on his jacket in big, bright letters: VARIANT. So while he shouldn’t be too dissimilar from the Loki we know, I do not think we can entirely look to the old to determine the new.

Now that we have that out of the way, we’re back to my somewhat noncommittal answer of the original question. Loki has some moments that seem OOC, but almost always has a (valid) reason for acting that way, both in and out of universe.

Loki’s OOC moments:

◦ The Renaissance Fair: And I by no means think this applies to his whole spiel. In fact, I think it was largely in character. What got me was “Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening.” And then again, right after B-15 announces they are one unit away from red line. Though, my issue with the latter is how rushed it is. This could make sense because he’s worried about having time to finish his ploy. It’s a small thing to harp on for sure, though, for the point I am trying to make.

◦ In the hallway: This is where I think he’s most OOC. It feels rambley and pointless. More a desperate plea than a calculated last resort.

◦ With the librarian: I was hesitant to put this one in, but he seemed a bit unsure at points in his dialogue here. The inflection of his voice in the middle just sounded, like I said, unsure.

◦ The cafeteria (both times): More so in the first. The metaphor was, like Loki himself said, clumsy. But what I really think is OOC here is how excitable and obvious he is after Mobius concedes, “Not bad.” And the only thing on their second cafeteria chat is at the very end. His response of “I know” to being called clever, once again has an inflection to it that I would not typically associate with Loki—it’s too pronounced.

◦ Pompeii (beginning of scene only): Loki seems pretty flippant about the whole thing in the immediate moments after their arrival. (As an aside, I don’t think he’s necessarily unsympathetic here; he knows what happens and to keep himself safe and prove his point, he can’t branch the timeline.) To be quite honest, I think he might just be goading Mobius as he’s done to our God of Mischief many a time already.

◦ Before Roxxcart: He seems nervous, and his speech is a bit rushed again. Then again, this is something he wants—to be better. I’d think he’d be a bit more calm about it, though. Then again, with everything that’s happened recently, maybe it’s a natural response?

The reasons why he seems OOC:

◦ It’s on purpose: He knows what they think of him. If he plays into that, even in an exaggerated way, they’re not going to call bs on it.

◦ He’s been through a lot/Not our Loki: Like I mentioned earlier, not only is this a new environment, it’s a new Loki. He’s been shaped differently from our Loki because of how he was immediately thrust into the world of the TVA after many traumatic experiences.

◦ It’s an acting choice: No, it’s not one you have to agree with. But I believe Tom could be doing it to highlight moments where Loki is saying things he personally does not actually believe or that he knows others believe. Just to distinguish from the more calculated lying he does.

So, are there moments when Loki acts OOC? Yes. Is it inexplicable? No. Are the answers to those questions always the same from person to person? No, because like so many things, it’s all about how you frame it. And, of course, every person perceives each moment of time through their own eyes, with their own thoughts, in their own ways.

Loki has plenty of moments in character, too. In fact, I’d say he was overwhelmingly in character, for my understanding of it. In the earlier parts of the Renaissance Fair he is witty and lying with ease. At all other points that I didn’t mention, I found his vocabulary and inflection perfectly fine. I can’t think of any one moment his hand gestures particularly stuck out to me as out of place. And during his impromptu magic lesson, he seemed so sure of himself. He has snark without being rude. His interactions with “the variant” are on point. Even in the majority of the Pompeii scene, he’s not acting OOC, he’s just acting. He wanted to make an over-exaggerated splash to test his theory. Between that and speaking Latin, aren’t we seeing his cunning and wit?

Well, with that divisive and slightly negative topic out of the way, let’s move onto Mobius, his character, and his role in the show. He’s a bit different than the Mobius we see last time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still moments where he seems to be manipulating Loki, or at least attempting to (the walk to the elevator; dangling a meeting with the Time Keepers in front of Loki’s face). In episode two, he’s presented as a victim. Mobius is just as much a slave to the “sacred timeline” as those living in it. He can’t go into the world and do the things he wants to do. Even any questions about time that Loki has, he answers seemingly by rote (perhaps drilled into his brain through propaganda?) or he can’t explain well (note, two times he somewhat hesitantly deems what Loki says as “an oversimplification”).

We’re also told that Mobius has a soft spot for broken things. That seems like a bold thing to say if Mobius hasn’t done something big before. Has he possibly ever used a variant like this before? Could he even possibly have a deeper connection to the rouge variant? Probably not on that second one, but it’s not wholly impossible. Though, going back to “has he done this before?” (and get ready for me to get absolutely insane now) do the rings on the table have deeper symbolic meaning pertaining to this? Yes, it could have just been for comedy, it may have just been a cool shot, but why put so much focus and emphasis on it like that with the camera and dialogue if it has no significance. Basically what I mean is, it’s symbolic of Mobius messing up. He messed up Renslayer’s table, maybe he botched a mission. Or maybe he even screwed up when working with another variant. Regardless of whether that’s symbolism, we do see him have a soft spot for the people at the hurricane shelter.

Mobius’s role in episode 1 was trying to break down Loki and recruit him. In this episode, he was more of a guide, more of a friend. Yes, there are lines like at Roxxcart when he says he knows he can’t be trusted, but there’s also a lot of camaraderie between the two. By the time Loki and Mobius are having their second chat in the cafeteria, they seem familiar with each other, engaging in what seems to be a friendly bout of verbal sparring. They seem, at very least, fond of each other, and I believe Mobius is, to some extent, on Loki’s side.

In fact, Mobius and Loki share something in common; they want something more than what the time keepers have preordained for them, even if Loki is more ready to admit that. Mobius is still, however, playing the part he’s been assigned, his “glorious purpose.” And, yes that includes some digs like that at Loki, whether Loki’s in the room or not, and whether they’re subtle or not. Is “I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant.” really a dig though? I mean, it sounds like he could just be saying what Renslayer wants to hear. And when he talks about Loki wanting something more, wanting to change, I don’t think he’s actually talking about Loki. With the inflection and stage whisper, it almost sounds like he’s projecting. Remind you of anyone? Mobius will likely end up helping Loki, or may even turn into a tragic hero, his fatal flaw being his unwillingness to admit the TVA is not infallible.

The TVA workers. Isn’t odd how some of them have names and others don’t? Do they name themselves? More likely, I think whoever is in charge of a branch of the TVA gets a name, and all underlings get the less than human mix of letters and numbers with which to identify themselves. It also seems that the people with the most personality are the ones with names. B-15 has a personality, sure, but it’s more just in line with “I work for the TVA. This is what they want. I will do exactly that.” It’s almost lacking something that the named characters have lying beneath the surface of their character arc.

And then she gets enchanted, and if Wunmi Mosaku wasn’t already shining with the limited story for the character, oh boy she is now. When B-15 comes to, she is scared. It’s on her face and in that little shuddered breath. And when asked what happened, she seemed so unsure, timid. I’m definitely interested to see how that progresses!

Back to the workers in general, they didn’t seem as sad about their coworkers this episode as in the last. Even with C-20 it seemed to be a respect thing. I mean, they reset the timeline with their colleagues lying dead on the floor. I think in a lot of scenarios, dead soldiers would be given a proper burial.

Ravonna Renslayer and the time keepers. Renslayer is even more steadfastly devoted to the sacred timeline and the time keepers than anyone else. Why? Well, I think it’s because she is the time keepers. Any time they’re brought up, it’s quickly explained away with a simple “they’re busy.” That’s because they’re not real. But Renslayer sure seems chummy with them, huh? What other reason then its her timeline she has everyone protecting.

Then again, she may only be second in command, but not to the time keepers. (I mean, omniscient and omnipotent beings who are relatively aloof and unreachable? They’re perfectly set up to be revealed as not real. Plus the constant non-answers when it comes to them, I’ll be more surprised if they’re real than if they’re not.) But in the comics, her plot line is interwoven with that of Kang the Conqueror, a time traveler, among many other things. Even more likely than her being in charge, is him being in charge.

And now for the variant. It’s not Lady Loki, we all know that right? Ok, that comes off a bit harsh, but she is listed as Sylvie in the credits for languages other than English. This was also who Sophia Di Martino was previously listed as on IMDb. I won’t get into her story in the comics now, but I’d bet we’ll take elements of that in her story in the series. And if you’re still not convinced that’s who this is, why have her blonde? It just doesn’t make sense to change that about her. Plus, Sylvie takes on the name of Enchantress. What does Loki say her powers are? Enchantments. She doesn’t want to be called Loki either. She does say the main Loki variant is her, but if she’s framing him or taking on his persona for her crimes, why stop now? Her language is distinctly un-Loki like, too. She also boldly declares “This isn’t about you.” And finally, there’s the foreshadowing in Loki’s line, “I would never treat me like this.”

I only wonder what her motives are. Is she looking for revenge on the Loki from her timeline? Or perhaps she’s working fo him? Maybe he’s dead and she’s avenging him? Or he’s alive and she wants to grab his attention? Maybe she has motives all her own. And what of Mephisto? Does he actually play a part in this? I’m just spitballing, I need more information.

When Loki finds the file. No. Like. Give a detailed description of this please!!!!! He thinks he’s evil. That he causes all that death with malicious intent. Even if he doesn’t, there’s clear pain over the destruction of Asgard. And look at his eyes, the only thing we’re shown as he process the information fully for the first time. He’s hurt, confused. Disappointed and angry with himself. The bit we’re shown of his face before it zooms in on his eyes portrays this too. He looks so lost in that shot. And he looks to be tearing up a bit.

Maybe I’m just being dumb, but what does it mean 9,719 casualties? Didn’t they all escape? His face as the scene zooms back out is... defeated. Scared. Scarred. He’s barely holding it together. Then something else catches his eye, giving him an idea. And I’m sure more than anything he wants to be distracted from the storm in his mind. So yeah, he’ll happily throw himself into his work. The epiphany on his face as he’s still recovering and discovering new things is just so perfect too.

The confrontation at Roxxcart. This was really well done, I felt. Loki felt in character, and he was fighting smartly, using what he could. Because clearly the enchantment also lent Sylvie’s powers to the person. But Loki manages to hang in there and dig for information while keeping the battle going.

He gets mad, too. He starts yelling. And that makes sense. He wants answers, and for so long he’s been denied them; it’s a recurring theme in his life. He’s losing control of himself a bit here. And that’s a large part of the reason why he goes through the time door. Loki doesn’t want to lose control again. I don’t even know if it was exactly a betrayal of the TVA. I don’t think he’s on their side, but I think he just saw that he couldn’t lose the variant again. Because for what he says his plan is, he wouldn’t have followed the variant. However, he does because he wants answers.

What about that plan though? I’m working a bit in reverse with this scene I realize, but bear with me. That look on his face as he stands, it’s calculating. I think he’s lying about his plan. I think he’s trying to bring the variant in, not work with them.

Also, I’m so concerned for C-20. What’s real? I want to know!! But we’re already getting a feel for Sylvie’s powers. The people she enchants live, but they’ve seen something they’d rather not. What other reason is there for the similar way B-15 and C-20 act? And I know she mentions telling Sylvie the time keeper’s location, but really, it’s their location to her knowledge. It doesn’t necessarily mean they exist. Or maybe it’s just Kang.

And Mobius at the very end of this scene, the very end of the confrontation, the very end of the episode. The last thing is him calling after Loki. And he sounds genuine, almost. It didn’t sound like he was fearful for his own life, but rather more worried for Loki. Though, maybe I have that confused and it’s worried about Loki. Whatever the reason, it sounded like genuine fear in his voice to me.

Finally, some random thoughts that didn’t fit anywhere:

Gugu Mbatha-Raw is so talented. I mean, I got a lot of emotion from Renslayer. Confident and proper at the beginning, panicked and afraid at the end. Even in her talks with Mobius, there’s many subtleties to pick apart. I think it’s heavily implied through her words and actions that she’s evil.

The casual magic use was great. Hope there’s more.

Why do setting off reset charges in the main timeline have a different effect than setting them off in the branch timelines? Like shouldn’t it wipe it, not make branches?

Loved all the rapport happening in the episode. There was a lot of good dialogue.

Despite the manipulations going on, I like the relationship forming between Mobius and Loki. I think they make a nice little duo.

I love all the Loki variants we’re shown. Very, very interesting. Just give us Jötunn Loki for real, please.

Loki was very clever this episode, particularly with figuring out you could hide in an apocalypse and at Roxxcart.

Does Roxxcart have a link to Roxxon?

Their little motto thing is a bit creepy. “For all time. Always.” Sounds like it’s just part of their propaganda.

“You see, I know something children don’t. No one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.” I love this line. Seriosuly, why not use this sound bite in the trailers? Loki himself is morally gray, and I love that we’re addressing this fact of life; the world is not all black and white, not all good and bad.

CASEY!!!

In the second cafeteria scene, there is a guard in full armor just standing there. I guess they’re monitoring the employees. How likely does whoever is in charge think it would be for an uprising of sorts to happen?

Between sleepy Loki, him putting that jacket on, his hair, that talking to himself and that annoyed little shh in the library, and just being the happy goof that he is deep down (Miss Minutes scene and salad metaphor) Loki was just so adorable this episode.

I think it’s important Mobius said sorry when talking about ragnarok. He knows Loki cares.

Mobius does kind of understand Loki when saying he has an “insecure need for validation.” He’s right, honestly, albeit harsh. But that’s all he wanted throughout the Thor movies too, not to be looked down upon. To be treated as equal. As worthy.

Of Mobius’s two options for why he’s sticking his neck out for Loki, I think they both hold some truth.

Interesting how TVA agents like to keep souvenirs from lives they can never live. Though maybe Renslayer keeps them for a different reason. Like from timelines that were particularly a threat to order—her order.

The score is still on point. Loving the theremin.

Wow an explanation pertaining to time travel I’ve found no holes in. It’s unstable and they have to enter in real time (furthest point on the branch) because of that. Ok, yeah. Checks out.

I’m so glad they kept the title card from last week. I like it so much better than the one from the trailers, and it fits the vibe of the show better.

Is it bad I want all these new branches to red line? I think it seems a little too early into the show for that to happen, but maybe a few of them will? Perhaps improbable but not impossible. But think of the chaos! What better playground for the God of Mischief than a universe thrown into disarray.

And now, my final thoughts. A very good episode with a mainly in character Loki. I like how we’re slowly learning more with what’s going on, while still keeping an element of mystery. Though, Marvel’s twists aren’t landing as well as I think they were hoping (assuming I’m right of course. I’ve seen plenty of other people who were thinking along the same lines though, so). It’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi that Glorious Purpose had, but I still enjoyed it. Overall, 8/10. Let’s just hope my rating doesn’t go down point with every episode.

Like something I said? Totally disagree? Really want to talk more about one point? Whatever it is, I’d love to hear! Reblogs and comments are appreciated. My ask box is always open, and anon is always on. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks :)

Me, after not liking one, but two episodes:

#this is very long and I apologize #I’m garrulous and go on far too many parenthetical asides #but here are my thoughts however profound they may be #*throws thoughts into the void* #loki analysis #the loki show #the loki show spoilers #the loki series #loki series #the loki series spoilers #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #no proofing only posting #ik I said this would post on Thursday #and it’s Thursday somewhere #even if it’s not where I am 😂 #but I’d like to post sooner rather than later #so here it is ahead of schedule

[snelbz]

What Happens In Vegas... {9}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Feyre x Rhysand, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Summary: For Feyre’s twenty-first birthday, her best friend took her to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun she could never forget. She’s going home with a lot more than memories.

@snelbz​ / @tacmc​ collab

What Happens In Vegas Masterlist

Fanfiction Masterlist

My Ask Box

We spent the afternoon back down in the recording studio with Drakon, Azriel and Cassian. When Rhys wasn’t playing, he’d pull me onto his lap. When he was busy on guitar, I listened in awe of his talent. He didn’t sing, so I remained in the dark about the lyrics. But the music was beautiful in a raw, rock ’n’ roll sort of way. Cass seemed pleased with the new material, bopping his head along in time. Even Azriel was more vocal in general, speaking up with ideas, criticisms, and praises.

Drakon beamed behind the splendid board of buttons and dials. “Play that lick again, Rhys.” My husband nodded and his fingers moved over the fretboard, making magic.

Miryam had been busy while we’d been upstairs, starting on unpacking the collection of boxes. When she made a move to return to the job in the early evening I went with her. Unasked or not, it wasn’t fair that she got lumped with the task on her own. Plus, it pleased my inner need to organize. I snuck back downstairs now and then as the hours passed, stealing kisses, before heading back up to help Miryam again. Rhysand and co remained immersed in the music. They’d come up seeking food or drink but returned immediately to the studio.

“This is what it’s like when they’re recording. They lose track of time, get caught up in the music. The number of dinners Drakon has missed because he simply didn’t realize what time it was;” said Miryam, hands busy unpacking the latest box.

“It’s their job, but it’s also their first love,” she continued, dusting off an Asian-style bowl. “You know that one old girlfriend that’s always hanging around the fringes, drunk dialing them at all hours and asking them to come over?”

I laughed. “How do you deal with never getting to come first?”

She smiled as she looked over at me. “You have to strike a balance. Music’s a part of them that you have to accept, hon. Fighting it won’t work. Have you ever been really passionate about something?”

“Yes,” I breathed, answering honestly, eyeing up another stringed instrument I’d never seen the likes of. It had intricate carving encircling the sound hole. “I love to paint. Life is easier to understand when I have a paintbrush in my hand. But responsible adults don’t paint for a living. There’s no way I can guarantee that I’ll pay the bills selling my art.” I stopped, grimaced. “God, I sound like my father.”

“You can totally, absolutely paint for a living, if you so choose,” she said, like it was the absurd thing to say I couldn’t. “If it’s your passion, then you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. But sometimes, it takes time to build it up for a living. Honing your craft and keeping the dedication, until that’s a possibility, that’s being a responsible adult.”

I smiled, understanding what she meant. I wish my father could have seen it that way. Instead, he saw painting as a waste of time, money and effort. “What about you? What’s your passion?”

“I was a born and bred photographer.”

“That’s great.” I meant it, those who could see the world through a lens were amazing to me.

Miryam smiled, her gaze going distant. “That’s how Drakon and I met. I went on tour for a couple of days with the band he was in at the time. I ended up going right around Europe with them. We got married in Rome at the end of the tour and we’ve been together ever since.”

“That’s a wonderful story,” I replied.

“Yeah,” Miryam sighed. “It was a wonderful time.”

I asked, “Did you study photography in college?”

“No, my father taught me everything I know. He worked for National Geographic. He put a camera in my hand at age six and I refused to give it back. The next day he brought me an old second-hand one. I carried it everywhere I went. Everything I saw was through its viewfinder. Well, you know what I mean… The world made sense when I looked at it that way. Better than that, it made everything beautiful, special.” She pulled a couple of books out of a box, adding them to the shelves built into one wall. We’d already managed to half fill them with various books and mementoes.

“You know, Rhys has dated a lot of women over the years. But he’s different with you. I don’t know…” She paused and turned back to me. “The way he watches you, I think it’s adorable. It’s the first time he’s brought anyone here in six years.”

That surprised me. “Why was the place empty so long?”

Miryam’s smile faded and she avoided my eyes. “He wanted it to be his place to come home to, but then things changed. The band was just hitting it big. I guess things got complicated. He could explain it to you best.”

“Right,” I said, intrigued, but knowing it wasn’t a conversation I needed to have with her. I needed to have it with Rhys.

Miryam sat back on her haunches, looking around the room. “Listen to me rambling on. We’ve been at this all day. I think we deserve a break.”

With a relieved sigh, I fell back onto my ass and said, “I second that.”

Nearly half the boxes were open. The contents we couldn’t think of an immediate home for were lined up along one wall. A big plush black couch had been delivered. It fit the house and its owner perfectly. With various rugs, pictures and instruments strewn about, the place had almost begun to look like a home. I wondered if Rhysand would approve. Easily, I could picture us spending time here when I wasn’t in classes. Or maybe holidays would be spent touring. Our future was a beautiful, dazzling thing, filled with promise.

In the here and now, however, I still hadn’t caught up with Joey. A fact that caused me great guilt. Explaining this situation didn’t appeal and nor did confessing my fast-growing feelings for Rhys.

“Come on, let’s go grab some food from down the road. The bar does the best ribs you’ve ever tasted. Drakon goes crazy for them,” said Miryam.

“Let me run downstairs, I’ll let them know we’re going. Do I need to change?” I had on the black jeans and tank top, a pair of Converse. They were the only shoes I’d been able to find among Amarantha’s buys that didn’t feature four-inch-plus heels. Miryam wore jeans and a white shirt, with a heavy turquoise necklace around her throat. It was casual in theory, but Miryam was a striking woman.

“You’re dressed fine,” she said. “Don’t worry. It’s very relaxed.”

The sound of music still drifted up from downstairs. When I went down there, the door was shut and the red light was on. I could see Drakon with headphones on, busy at the console. I’d forgotten to charge my phone with all the recent excitement, but I didn’t have Rhys’s phone number so I couldn’t have texted him anyway. I didn’t want to interrupt. In the end, I left a note on the kitchen bench. We wouldn’t be gone long. Rhys probably wouldn’t even notice.

The bar was a traditional wooden wonderland with a big jukebox and three pool tables. Staff called out “hello”s to Miryam as we walked in. No one even blinked at me, which was a relief. The place was packed. It felt good to be back out among people, just part of the crowd. Miryam had phoned ahead but the order wasn’t ready yet. Apparently the kitchen was every bit as busy as the bar. We grabbed a couple of drinks and settled in to wait. It was a nice place, very relaxed. There was lots of laughter and country music blared from the jukebox. My fingers tapped along in time.

“Let’s dance,” said Miryam, grabbing my hand and tugging me out of my chair. She bopped and swayed as I followed her onto the crowded dance floor.

It felt good to let loose. Lady Antebellum turned into Kane Brown and I raised my arms, moving to the music. A guy came up behind me and grabbed my hips but he backed up a step when I shook my head with a smile. He grinned back at me and kept dancing, not moving away. A man spun Miryam and she whooped, letting him draw her into a loose hold. They seemed to know each other.

When the guy beside me moved a little closer I didn’t object. He kept his hands to himself and it was all friendly enough. I didn’t know the next song but it had a good beat and we kept right on moving. My skin grew damp with sweat, my hair clinging to my face.

Dude One moved away and another took his place, slipping an arm around my waist and trying to pull me in against him. I planted my hands on his chest and pushed back, giving him the same smile and head shake that had worked on the last. He might have been only about my height, despite the huge hat, but he was built solid. He had a big barrel of a chest and he stank of cigarette smoke

“No,” I said, still trying to push him off me. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, darlin’,” he yelled in my ear, knocking me in the forehead with the brim of his hat. Ow. “Dance with me.”

A little more forcefully, I said, “Let go.”

He grinned and both of his hands slapped down hard on my ass. The jerkoff started grinding himself against me.

“Hey!” I pushed against him, getting nowhere. “Get off me.”

“Darlin’.” The letch leaned in to kiss me, smacking me in the nose with the brim of his hat again. It hurt. Also, I hated him. If I could just wiggle my leg between his and knee the asswipe in the groin, I’d be able to even the playing field. Or leave him writhing on the floor crying for his mommy. An outcome I was fine with.

I shoved my foot between the two of his, getting closer to my objective. Closer…

“Let her go.” Rhys miraculously appeared out of the crowd beside us, a muscle ticking in his jaw. Oh, shit. He looked ready to kill.

“Wait your turn,” the cowboy yelled back, pushing his pelvis into me. God, it was disgusting. Puking could happen. It would be no less than he deserved.

Rhysand snarled. Then he grabbed the man’s hat and sent it flying off into the crowd. The man’s eyes went round as plates and his hands dropped away from me.

I skipped back a step, free at last. “Rhys—.”

He looked at me and in that moment, the cowboy swung. His fist clipped Rhys’s jaw. His head snapped back and he stumbled. The cowboy dove at him. They landed hard, sprawled across the dance floor. Fists flew. Feet kicked. I could barely see who did what. People formed a circle around them, watching. No one was doing anything to stop it. Blood spurted, spraying the floor. The pair rolled and pushed and Rhys came out on top. Then just as fast he fell aside. My pulse pounded behind my ears. The violence was startling. I hated it. The blood and the dirt, the mindless rage.

But I couldn’t just stand by, caught in a cold stupor. I wouldn’t.

A strong hand grabbed my arm, halting my forward momentum.

“No,” said Cass.

Then he and another couple of guys stepped in. Relief poured through me. Cass and Az wrestled Rhysand off the cowboy. Another pair restrained the bloody-faced fool who bellowed on and on about his hat. Goddamn idiot.

They hustled Rhys out of the bar, dragging him backward. Through the front doors and down the steps they went while his feet kicked out, trying to get back into it. And he kept right on fighting until they threw him up against Cassian’s big black truck.

“Knock it off!” Cass yelled in his face. “It’s over.”

Rhys slumped against the vehicle. Blood seeped from one nostril. His dark hair hung in his face. Even in the shadows he looked swollen, misshapen. Not half as bad as the other guy, but still.

“Are you okay?” I stepped closer to check the extent of his wounds.

“I’m fine,” he said, shoulders still heaving as he stared at the ground. “Let’s go.”

Moving in slow motion, he turned and opened the passenger side door, climbing in. With a mumbled goodbye, Miryam and Drakon headed for their own car. A couple of people stood on the steps leading into the bar, watching. One guy held a baseball bat as if he expected further trouble.

“Feyre. Get in the car.” Azriel opened the door to the back seat and ushered me in. “Come on. Cops could be coming. Or worse.”

Worse was the press. I knew that now. They’d be all over this in no time.

I got in the truck.

*******************

Cassian and Azriel disappeared as soon as we got home. Rhys stomped up the stairs to our bedroom. Was it really ours? I didn’t have a clue. But I followed. He turned and faced me as soon as I entered the room. His expression was fierce, dark brows down and his mouth a hard line. “You call that giving us a chance?”

Whoa.

I licked my lips, giving myself a moment. “I call it going out to pick up some food. The kitchen was running late so we got a beer. We liked the music so we decided to get up to dance for a couple of songs. Nothing more.”

“He was all over you,” he snapped.

I blinked, surprised by his sudden anger. “I was about to knee him in the balls.”

“You left without a fucking word!” he shouted.

“Don’t yell at me,” I said, searching for a calm I didn’t have in me just then. “I left you a note in the kitchen.”

He shoved his hands through his hair, visibly fighting for calm. “I didn’t see it. Why didn’t you come talk to me?”

“The red light was on. You were recording and I didn’t want to disturb you.” I could understand his frustration with the dude at the bar, but I didn’t know where this was coming from. “We weren’t supposed to be gone for long.”

Bruised face furious, he walked a few steps away then turned and marched back. No calmer from what I could tell despite the pacing. But at least he seemed to be trying. His temper was the third person in the room and it took up all the damn space. “I was worried. You didn’t even have your phone on you, I found it on the fucking table. Miryam’s phone kept going to voicemail.”

“I’m sorry you were worried.” I held out my hands, out of excuses for both of us. “I forgot to charge my phone. It never happens, but things have been a little crazy the past few days, you know that. I’ll try to be more careful from now on. But Rhys, nothing was going on. I’m allowed to leave the house.”

He ran a hand through his hair and said, “Fuck. I know that. I just…”

“You’re doing your thing, and that’s great—.”

“This was some sort of fucking punishment?” He forced the hard words out through gritted teeth. “Is that it?”

“No, of course not,” I sighed. Quietly.

“So you weren’t trying to get picked up?”

I blinked. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” Slapping him upside the head wasn’t out of the question. I kept my clenched fists safely at my side, resisting the urge.

He asked, “Why’d you let him touch you?”

“I didn’t. I asked him to move back and he refused. That’s when you arrived.” I rubbed at my mouth with my fingers, fast running out of patience. “We’re just going around in circles here. Maybe we should talk about this later when you’ve had a chance to calm down.” Hands shaking, I turned toward the door.

“You’re leaving? Fucking perfect.” He threw himself back onto the bed. Laughter wholly lacking in humor came out of his mouth. “So much for us sticking together.”

I didn’t understand what was happening. “What? No. I don’t want to fight with you, Rhys. I’m going downstairs before we start saying shit we don’t mean. That’s all.”

“Go,” he said, his voice harsh. “I fucking knew you would.”

“Gods,” I growled, turning back to face him. The desire to scream and shout at him, to try to make some sense of this, boiled over inside of me. “Are you even listening to me? Are you hearing me at all? I’m not leaving you. Where is this coming from?”

He didn’t answer, just stared at me, eyes accusing. It made no sense.

I almost tripped getting back to him, my feet fumbling. Landing on my face would be perfect. It was exactly where this was heading. I didn’t even understand what we were fighting about anymore, if I ever had.

“Who are you comparing me to here?” I asked, every bit as angry as him now. “Because I am not her.”

He kept right on glaring at me.

“Well?” I asked.

His lips stayed shut and my frustration and fury skyrocketed. I wanted to grab him and shake him. Make him admit to something, anything. Make him tell me what the hell was really going on.

I crawled onto the bed, getting in his face. “Rhys, talk to me!”

Nothing.

Fine.

I pushed back with trembling legs and tried to crawl off the mattress. He grabbed at my arms, trying to hold on. And like fuck he was. I pushed back hard. All brawling limbs, we tumbled off the bed and rolled onto the floor. His back hit the hardwood floor. Immediately, he rolled us again, putting me on the bottom. My blood pounded behind my ears. I kicked and pushed and wrestled him with all the angst he’d inspired in me. Before he could get his bearings I rolled us again, regaining the uppermost position. He couldn’t stop me, the bastard. Escape was imminent.

But it didn’t happen.

Rhys grabbed my face in both hands and mashed his lips to mine, kissing me with everything he had. I opened my mouth and his tongue slipped in. The kiss was rough and wet. Breathing was an issue. It seemed we both had some anger management issues and neither of us entirely refrained from biting. With his bruised mouth, he definitely had the most to lose. It wasn’t long before the metallic taste of blood hit my tongue.

He pulled back with a hiss, fresh blood on his swollen top lip. “Fuck.”

He grabbed my hands. I didn’t make it easy on him, struggling for all I was worth. But he was stronger. He pinned them to the floor above my head with relative ease. The press of his hard-on between my legs felt exquisite, it drove me insane. And the more I bucked against him, the better it got. Adrenaline had already been pouring through me, amping me up. The need to have him sat just below the surface, prickling my skin, making me hyper aware of everything.

So this was angry sex. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him, not really. But there were other ways to assert myself in this situation. He came back to my mouth and I nipped him again in warning.

A mad smile appeared on his face. It probably matched my own. We were both panting, fighting for air. Both stubborn as hell. Without another word he released my wrists and drew back. Quickly, he grabbed my waist and turned me over, pulling me up onto my elbows and knees. Arranging me how he wanted me. Rough hands tore at the button and zip on my jeans. He yanked down my pants and crazily overpriced thong, body poised over mine.

His hands smoothed over my ass. Teeth dragged over the sensitive skin of one cheek, just above the tattoo of his name. A hand slipped beneath to cup my sex. The press of his fingers against me had me seeing stars. When they started stroking me, working me higher, I couldn’t hold back my moan. He nipped me on the ass again, a sharp sting of sensation. Then he pressed kisses up my spine. Stubble from his chin scratched my shoulder.

The lack of words, the absolute silence apart from our heavy breathing made it more. It made it different.

One finger slid inside me. Not nearly enough, damn it. He slid in a second finger, stretching me a little. Once, twice, he slowly pumped it into me. I pushed back against his hand, needing more. Next came the sound of the bedside drawer sliding open as he searched for a condom. His fingers slid out of me and the loss was excruciating. I heard his zipper being lowered, the rustle of clothes and the crinkle of a condom wrapper. Then his cock pressed against me, rubbing over my opening. He pushed in slow and steady, filling me up until there was nothing left that wasn’t me and him. For a moment he stopped, letting me adjust.

But not for long.

Hands gripped my hips and he began to move. Each thrust was a little faster and harder than the last. Labored breathing and the slap of skin against skin swallowed the silence. The scent of sex hung heavy in the air. I pushed back against him, meeting him thrust for thrust, spurring him on. It was nothing like the sweet and slow of this morning. Neither of us was tender. My jeans shackled me at the knees, making me slip forward a little with each thrust. His fingers dug into my hips, holding me in place. He stroked over something inside me and I gave a startled gasp. Again and again, he concentrated on that spot, making me mindless. I felt superheated. Like fire burned through me. Sweat dripped off my skin. I hung my head, closed my eyes and held onto the floor with all my might. My voice called out without my consent, saying his name. Damn it. My body wasn’t my own. I came hard, overwhelmed with sensation. My back bowed and I threw my head back, every muscle drawn tight.

Rhys pounded into me, hands slipping over my slick skin, reaching forward and grabbing my hair in his fist. I continued to come, the orgasm seeming to go on forever and ever, the tug on my roots only adding fuel to the fire. He came a moment later, releasing his hold on my hair, groaning my name in the most erotic way, holding himself deep. His face rested against my back, one arm wrapped around my body, which was lucky. I’d lost all traction. Slowly I slid to the floor.

In silence, he picked me up and carried me into the bathroom, sat me on the sink. Without fuss he dealt with the condom, started running a bath, holding a hand beneath the faucet to check the temperature. He undressed me like I was a child, pulling off my sneakers and socks, my jeans and panties. He tugged off my shirt and unclasped my bra. His own clothes were ripped off with far less care. I felt curiously naked with him now, the way he was treating me. Being so careful with me despite my biting and inexperience. He treated me like I was precious. Like I was a china doll. One he could apparently have rough sex with upon occasion. Once more, he checked the water, then he picked me up again and into the bath we went.

I huddled against him, my skin cooling off fast. He held me tighter, resting his cheek against the top of my head.

“I’m sorry if I was too rough,” he said finally. “I didn’t mean it, accusing you of shit like that. I just… Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Rough wasn’t a problem, but the trust issue… We’re going to need to talk about it sometime.” I rested my head against his shoulder, staring up into his troubled eyes.

His chin jerked as he gave me a tight nod.

I quietly said, “But right now, I’d like to talk about Vegas.”

The arms around me tensed. “What about Vegas?”

I stared back at him, still trying to think everything through. Not wanting to get this wrong, whatever this was.

Marriage, that’s what it was.

Shit.

“We’ve covered a lot of ground in the last twenty-four hours,” I said.

“Yeah, I guess we have,” he replied, looking down at me.

I held up my hand, my sparkly ring. The size of the diamond didn’t matter. That Rhysand had put it on me was what made it important. “We talked about lots of things. We slept together, and we made promises to each other, important ones.”

He nodded. “You regretting any of it?”

My hand slid around the back of his neck. “No. Absolutely not. But if you woke up tomorrow, and you’d somehow forgotten all of this. If it was all gone for you, like it had never happened, I would be furious at you.”

His forehead wrinkled and he looked away.

I added, “I’d hate you for forgetting all this when it’s meant everything to me.”

He licked his lips and turned off the tap with a foot. Without the water gushing out, the room quieted instantly.

“Yeah,” he said. “I was angry.”

“I’m not going to let you down like that again.”

Beneath me his chest rose and fell heavily. “Okay.”

“I know it takes time to learn to trust someone.” I carefully turned his face back to mine. “But in the meantime, I need you to at least give me the benefit of the doubt.”

“I know.” Wary, violet eyes watched me.

I sat up and reached for the washcloth on the edge of the bath. “Let me clean you up a little.”

A dark lump sat on his jaw. Blood lingered beneath his nose and near his mouth. He was a mess. A big red mark was on his ribs.

“You should see a doctor,” I said.

He shook his head. “Nothing’s broken.”

Carefully, I wiped the blood from the side of his mouth and beneath his nose. Seeing him in pain was horrible. Knowing I was the cause made my stomach twist and turn. “Tell me if I press too hard.”

“You’re fine.”

“I’m sorry you got hurt. In the bar tonight, and in Vegas. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

His eyes softened and his hands slid over me. “I want you to come back to LA with me. I want you with me. I know school will start back eventually and we’re gonna have to work something out. But whatever happens, I don’t want us apart.”

I shook my head. “We’re not going to be.”

“Promise?” He breathed, leaning down to kiss me.

“Promise.”

#what happens in vegas #snelbz whiv #feysand #snelbz tacmc collab #snacmc #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[ourloveisforthelovely]

On the Mend. Part 2

Harry Potter AU

Link to Part 1 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader. Sirius Black x Remus Lupin 

Rating: M- later chapters

Song in Chapter: The Night We Met by Lord Huron 

______

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met

Walking into the house, you immediately smelled Regulus’ cologne. You fought the urge to turn and run out of the house. It didn’t matter how much your heart was screaming to run to the man and never let him go. You had to think with your head this time. Renee deserved that much. She didn’t deserve to be torn between two parents. The child also didn’t need to see Regulus hurt you over and over again.

Your mind was also on Ambrosia Parkinson...Black...whatever her last name was now. What if she and Regulus repaired their relationship? Would she be unkind to Renee? What if she wasn’t? The 13-month-old wouldn’t be able to tell you if her stepmother was cruel. Would Regulus even pay enough attention to notice anything strange? Something told you, no.

The better question was how would Ambrosia handle the news that Regulus had a child with another woman? You smirked at the thought of the whole Black family having a major hissy fit because Regulus royally fucked up. Regulus went and knocked up the “Potter girl.” You could see Walburga’s scowl in your mind. The horrible woman would either be on the floor screaming or burning Regulus’ name off of the family tapestry. What a scandal that would be! Sirius was already gone, now her youngest “good” son had sunk to a whole new level of low.

Regulus was lucky that James wasn’t alive right now. Your older brother would have probably tried to kill him by now. James would definitely not sit back and leave it to his best friends to help raise Renee. He would have gone to Grimmauld Place and hexed Regulus until he left Ambrosia to take care of his responsibility.

You had to shake the thoughts of James from your mind. If you wanted to face Regulus and not be sobbing you had to stop thinking of your brother. Regulus didn’t deserve you taking that wrath out on him. He didn’t have anything to do with James or Lily’s deaths.

The hallway to the sitting room was dark. You took a few deep breaths before stepping in. Both Regulus and Remus immediately stood when you walked in. Regulus was paler than you remembered as he opened his mouth to speak a few times but nothing came out. He was still the same handsome boy that you loved so much.

Your attention went to Remus, who was nervously looking between the two of you.

“Remus, we have insurance on this place...right?”

Remus nodded, slightly confused.

“Yes. Why?”

You reached over for the vase that was sitting on the table beside you. Right away you started throwing whatever you could get your hands on at Regulus. Whether it be the shock of you coming after him so violently or something else, Regulus didn’t move quick enough and was pelted by several objects. Finally, he resumed his quick seeker’s reflexes and started smacking stuff away from him as you tossed it.

Remus jumped back, not about to get hit before yelling for Sirius. By the time Sirius put the baby in her playpen and ran into the living room, you had your wand out and was hurling hexes at Regulus. Sirius blinked a few times as Regulus quickly dodged whatever you threw his way.

“A little help here?”

Regulus snapped toward his brother, who shrugged.

“She’s being a lot nicer than I would be.”

Sirius wasn’t about to step in on this one. In his mind, you deserved the right to do whatever you wanted. Remus, meanwhile, quickly wrapped his arms around you from behind.

“Think about Renee. I know that you are hurt and angry but this is her father. Please...this is not you Y/n.”

He whispered in your ear. Remus kept his voice low enough so that only you would hear. You trembled a few times before lowering your wand and putting it in Remus’ outstretched hand. Remus gave you a gentle smile before turning to the wrecked living room.

Regulus meanwhile, looked slightly scared as you turned to face him. He expected you to be hostile but he didn’t expect to get attacked. This behavior wasn’t you. Regulus decided that he had himself to blame for this extreme change in character and he hated it!

You were still the beautiful girl that he had fallen in love with during 6th year. Everything about you was the same. You still had those hazel eyes that could change shades by your mood. There were those full lips that were screaming to be kissed. Everything about you was what Regulus wanted and needed. Only now he was afraid that you would never accept what he had to offer...which wasn’t much.

“What are you doing here?”

You asked, coldly. Regulus regained his calm composure. Moments before he was close to panicking himself. There was no way that he had control of what you had just done to him but maybe if he could just speak...

“I needed to talk to you.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“There are letters and telephones. Both of those work nicely.”

“And you would ignore me.”

Regulus replied. You shrugged.

“Most likely. It would be your own fault. When will you learn foolish boy that if you play stupid games you will win stupid prizes?”

Sirius leaned back and held a hand up.

“She’s got a point.”

Regulus glared at his older brother.

“I didn’t come to talk to you.”

Sirius smirked as you turned back to Regulus.

“You should go home to your wife and be a good husband. I have nothing to offer you.”

You actually had a lot to offer him and both of you knew it. After some time of healing, you could open your heart to him again and love him as you did. There wouldn't have to be any more hiding in the shadows to kiss your lover. You could kiss and hold him as you so desperately wanted to.

He left you! He left you for some pureblood princess who his FAMILY found acceptable. It didn’t matter then that you are a pureblood and it won’t now. Regulus didn’t stand up for your love then why would he now? Don’t let him hurt you again!

Your mind hissed.

It didn’t take Regulus knowing everything about you to know that you were giving yourself some little pep talk that was geared against him. If he could just gain control of this conversation….

“You actually have a lot to offer me. I’m not married to Ambrosia anymore.”

“That’s a pity.”

You muttered before turning and taking the glass of water that Remus was holding out to you.

You actually have a lot to offer me.

You internally snorted at the thought. The only thing that you had to offer him was the heir that sat in the other room happily playing with her blocks. Hell would freeze over before you let the Black family sink their claws into your precious little girl.

Regulus only blinked. He expected your sarcasm to be thrown his way.

“Not really. I didn’t want her anyway.”

You turned.

“Where was that attitude before? I’m sure your mummy is having a fit about her little splendid plan falling apart.”

Regulus frowned.

“I didn’t come to talk about my parents.”

“Well, I don’t know what you want from me, Regulus. You made your feelings quite clear. I loved you. Now you're just a page torn from the story that I’m living.”

Remus, meanwhile, motioned Sirius out of the room. This conversation was becoming a bit more personal than he cared to witness.

Regulus waited until they were out of the room before stepping closer to you.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. You didn’t deserve to suffer because I didn’t want to upset my parents. If I could go back and do things differently...it would have been you that I married...not her. I love you. I never loved her as I love you. Why the hell do you think that she left me? Ambrosia is a lot of things. Stupid isn’t one of them.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“She knows that you love me...me specifically and not some other girl?”

Regulus nodded. He didn’t let his eyes leave yours.

“Yes. I told her.”

When you started laughing, Regulus felt a bit confused. What was funny about this whole situation? There was nothing funny! Regulus missed the birth of his daughter and broke your heart for no reason yet here you were laughing.

“What’s funny about this?”

He snapped. You had to swallow back another fit of giggles as you turned to see Remus and Sirius watching you looking as baffled as Regulus. Sirius leaned over to Remus and muttered “when a woman starts laughing at you over something stupid that you did that is how you know how fucked you are.” You made a mental note to congratulate him on that comment later before turning back to Regulus.

“What’s funny is all of this bullshit could have been avoided if you would have been a man and stood up to your parents. We wouldn’t have had to go through anything that we would have. Ambrosia wouldn’t be out there wondering what the fuck she did wrong. I must really be crazy because I am sticking up for her ass. By the way, you married a woman named after some kind of fruit salad. At least my name makes sense.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl.

“Are you done?”

You shook your head. Hell no, you had enough material to make the poor guy listen to for hours. Regulus wasn’t with you when you were going through your own personal hell. He wasn’t there when you had to put your brother and best friend in the ground. When you lost custody of your nephew to a couple of muggle shitheads or when you were in labor for 20+ hours with Regulus’ child. That was Sirius and Remus there. They went through that whole ordeal with you! It was Sirius who did what Regulus was supposed to do when a child was born. Sirius and Remus were the ones walking the floors comforting a colicky Renee at three am when you were so frazzled that you wanted to cry yourself. The keywords here were Sirius and Remus, not Regulus.

“I have a lot of material. You should stick around.”

You replied with a smirk before sitting down on the couch. Regulus was silent for a few moments as he tried to get himself in check. Finally, he couldn’t stand it or remain calm any longer. Expressing his emotions was hard enough but at the moment he wasn’t feeling too shy either.

“Merlin, I fucked up! Fucked up big! What else can I say, Y/n?! I want to be a part of yours and Renee’s life. What about our child? I deserve to be in her life too...if I would have known before I would have been there. As you said, there are telephones and letters. I didn’t get anything that I deserved to get.”

The guilt began to fill your senses again.

“You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. You had your wife and that is where your heart was.”

“I just told you that I didn’t love her. That would have been all the more of a reason for me to walk away.”

Your eyes dropped to his feet.

“You still wouldn’t have left.”

Regulus waited a moment before closing the distance between you. His fingers tilted your face to his.

“I’m here now.”

You stared into his eyes...those beautiful grey-blue eyes that you loved so much.

“Please, love. I’m not going anywhere ever again. You want the lover that you were supposed to have..the father that our daughter should have had from the beginning...I’m right here.”

You put your hand on top of his. Feeling his skin against yours felt more heavenly than you wanted to admit. Regulus’ hand was trembling beneath yours as you pulled away.

“I can’t trust you yet.”

“I’m not a death eater anymore. If that’s what you're scared of too…”

You didn’t turn to face him again.

“I’m not afraid of you being a death eater. I’ve dealt with that since we were 16. I’m afraid of having my heart broken again. That is what I am afraid of.”

You walked out of the room. At the moment, you needed to get some air and fast!

Sirius waited until he heard the front door close before leaning down and scooping Renee up. He smiled down at his little niece.

“Time for you to shine, sweetheart.”

Regulus was still staring at the place where you had been standing when Sirius walked back into the sitting room. The younger brother’s eyes weren’t blinking as he fought the urge to cry. He thought for a brief moment that you would let him kiss you. If he could give you just one kiss...just show you the passion that he still felt...maybe things would be alright? Now he didn’t know where he stood or if you would ever let him back into your life again. As you said, he was just a page torn from the story that you were living.

“You’ll have to give her some time. The last little bit hasn’t been too kind to any of us. We are all afraid to open up to anyone right now.”

Regulus’ head snapped up at his brother’s voice. He froze seeing the little girl in Sirius’ arms. Regulus would have recognized this baby as his from anywhere. She was everything that Regulus could have ever dreamed about.

Sirius smiled down at her.

“She has your eyes and Y/n’s sweet personality...most of the time. You both have dark hair so take that how you want it. Renee, want to say hi to your daddy?”

The little girl looked between her uncle and father before shoving her face in Sirius’ neck. Sirius’ smile faded when Regulus looked down. It didn’t take Sirius being Regulus’ brother to know that the other man was questioning every choice that he had ever made in his life.

“She’s a bit shy at first. Once she warms up to you, you aren’t going to have another quiet moment in your life. She’s finally starting to talk and we are still working on the walking thing. She doesn’t have much desire to learn when someone is always willing to pick her up.”

Renee had slowly turned her attention back to Regulus with a little sly smile.

“See what I mean?”

Sirius said with a smile. He turned his attention to the little stuffed lamb that was laying on the couch.

“Get that toy and bend down.”

Regulus quickly did as he was told as Sirius stepped within arm's length of his brother and knelt down. Sirius gently turned Renee around.

“Sugar, why don’t you go tell your daddy hi and get your little toy?”

Renee focused her attention on Regulus as he held a hand out. She watched him for a few moments before wrapping her hand around his fingers and taking a few shaky steps. Sirius smiled as she made contact with Regulus’ chest. Regulus gently adjusted the baby in his arms before slipping the stuffed lamb into her hands.

“Daddy.”

Renee said with a smile. Regulus leaned down and snuggled his face against her head. Dark curls tickled his nose as the scent of your perfume mixed with baby lotion filled his senses. This was the scent that Regulus didn’t want to forget as long as he lived.

Sirius, meanwhile, sat down with a smile on his face.

“Regulus, I normally wouldn’t say this in front of the baby but if you plan on lea…”

“I’m not leaving.”

Regulus replied, firmly.

“I can’t...not now. I need to talk to Y/n.”

Sirius smiled, sadly. After the last conversation that the two of you shared, it would probably be a good idea for Regulus to wait for you to go to him. Sirius had politely put the sitting room back in order and really didn’t want to risk it being destroyed again. It would only take one good hex or heavy object to really bruise Regulus up.

“Give her some time, Reg. She needs it.”

Regulus nodded before looking back down to his daughter. Her attention was still glued to the stuffed animal that she was now chewing on. He stroked his finger over Renee's cheek with a soft smile. If he had to wait for you it would be worth it. Patience wasn’t something that Regulus didn’t have much of but maybe it was time to develop a new skill.

_____

@fairywriter-oracle

@amelie-black

@swinginsoulbailiffrascal

@velveteencurls

@realgaytrash

@sunles

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@summer-novak

@shaylybaby2032

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@sprnaturallover

@stuckinsaudi1

@knight-of-gleefulness

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@wontlookaway

@mycuddlycorner

@shitfaceddaniel

#Regulus Black #Regulus Black x Reader #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #remus x sirius #timothee chalamet as regulus black #ben barnes as sirius black #andrew garfield as remus lupin #Harry Potter fic #harry potter au #regulus arcturus black #sirius orion black #Regulus x Reader #walburga black #orion black #the ancient and noble house of black #james potter #Lily Evans Potter #james x lily #On the Mend #On the Mend update

[jocia92]

… So much of an actor’s craft is figuring out the “I want” of their character, but that’s got to be a little different with Tom since he states that he literally cannot want anything. What challenge or opportunity did that pose for you?

I think he wants to improve. I think he wants to calibrate according to Alma’s needs, wants, and desires. I think he’s very ready to learn and to understand. That was the kind of primary objective: listen, learn, calibrate, improve. That’s almost the track of each scenario. He just gets a little better each time, and the process gets a little faster. But certainly, in the beginning, he’s just delivering this sort of 20 classic chat-up lines that he’s been uploaded with and getting it all wrong. It’s fun to watch the machine learn and chart that progress.

On a practical or philosophical level, how did you approach the process of humanizing a character that’s an algorithm, or did you at all?

It was very much about charting with Maria exactly when we want to see the machine, when we want to see the human. Even playing with that ratio was really interesting and fun. It’s not so much about watching him play the machine, but watching a character try to play the human. Certainly, in the beginning, in some of the not quite so successful human moments, shall we say, we deconstructed what we regarded as the conventional human behavior in that. We looked at a lot of screwball comedies, like Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Katharine Hepburn movies. [We were] taking a move or a gesture, breaking that down, and just doing two of the things. It just suddenly looks very odd and wrong, and you’re like, “Oh, this is what a human does in this moment!” But it’s just off. It was really as much about looking at the human.

You’ve mentioned things like The Philadelphia Story as shaping the film and its central relationship. Was that to ground it in reality or further ensconce it in the warped reality of cinema? Grant and Stewart are recognizable to us as people, but things like that mid-Atlantic lilt were entirely manufactured for the screen.

That was a very key point for Maria in referencing Cary Grant. The hair color that we chose for Tom was very much like Cary Grant’s hair color, being a shade darker than is possibly human. And the skin tone being slightly artificial for Tom. You’re right, Cary Grant is often very heightened and mannered sometimes, and it works in the situation in the style of the thing that he’s in. But we quite liked the idea that Tom has been uploaded with some outdated versions of what a romantic lead was supposed to behave like.

It’s striking just how thought-out things had to be down to how Tom responds to dead air space in a conversation. What was the process behind those small moments that can make or break the believability of a character?

It was very fun to play with, and probably quite frustrating for a lot of the human actors. Maren was giving a beautifully naturalistic performance, and the conventional responses that there should be from her scene partner weren’t there. We deliberately strip those away—sometimes without telling her, sometimes without needing to tell her. It’s just the way that Tom was, so it was about pushing those moments into a space that became a little uncomfortable: not jumping in on the lines where you might normally jump in, sometimes coming in hard, sometimes offering a delayed response, sometimes none at all. Playing with those, and watching how comfortable or uncomfortable that made them both, was really fun.

Did that frustration, built in by the process, bleed over for Maren into the character of Alma, do you think?

Maybe for Maren. Certainly, for me, it was frustrating in that I would have to remember not to respond in the way that I might normally and remove some of those things. [I had to] really break down exactly what Tom is thinking, what his programming is doing in that point, how he’s responding and calibrating, and whether we see that or not. Choosing moments to show the human, to show the machine. Along with Maria, that was one of the great joys of the role.

How did you settle on the physicality of the character? Was it at all helpful to have done something like Beauty and the Beast in a mo-cap suit to be hyper-aware of how your own movements translate to the screen?

Very much so. In fact, in pretty much every role I’ve done since Beauty and the Beast, I’ve incorporated not always a movement coach, but I’ve definitely looked at movement theory and physicality in a totally new way because of the challenges of that role. And, I have to say, dance plays a huge part in that. Whether it’s incorporated on the screen or if it’s something that just feels as if it helps the role, I often find that a dance studio is a very fruitful space to discover things about your character’s physicality. Learning the rumba for this role was incredibly helpful because it’s a very precise, technical, almost robotic dance in terms of the laser precision that’s needed to get it absolutely right. I had a fantastically exact teacher in Berlin who was teaching me the rumba the whole way through the shoot. We shot that [one scene] quite near the end of the shoot. Just to have those lessons, that kind of physicality, and that poise with me the whole way through the role was really useful.

How did the role being in a non-native tongue affect the characterization of Tom? Was it all easier to make him seem slightly unreal given that the words might not come quite as naturally as they would in English?

I think it was a deliberate choice on the part of Maria to look for a foreign actor who could speak German. She needed somebody who could both get their heads and their mouths around the very technical German that was required, which, even for a German is pretty complex, but also who had that sense of otherness. I’m sure they could have tailored the screenplay to any number of nationalities, but I was very happy they came to me and made him British. It definitely helped with, as I say, the fact that he’s listening, learning, focusing, trying to improve…that was literally all I was doing last summer, every day.

How do you lock onto the frequency of German comedy, which isn’t always something people associate with that country or people? How is it different than doing something like the more mannered British wit of Blithe Spirit or the broad studio comedy of Eurovision Song Contest?

It’s not a country known for it, but I think they should [be]. I find Germans very funny. They have a very interesting sense of humor. What’s particularly delightful is the way that they can tackle really kind of big, sometimes weighty, issues with a certain wit and lightness of touch, which is not common to all countries. Physical comedy, I think, is fairly universal. I think there’s something almost farcical about some of the physical stuff that we managed to get in this. It was really fun to make people laugh in a foreign language. It was surprisingly delightful. It felt very unifying, somehow, to be able to get a joke across in any language.

#ich bin dein mensch #i'm your man #dan stevens #slant magazine #interview #long post