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mywitchcultblr · 2 years

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I'm done with your purity

I'm fucking done with all of you westerners fucks who take your freedom for granted. AO3 was banned in china because pissy fans reporting RPF TO THE GOVERNMENT UNDER FALSE REPORT OF PEDO OR WHATEVER thus making life a living hell for Chinese writers and fans. ALSO LET ME TELL YOU that fanfic and AO3 is a safe space for many oppressed LGBT people outside of the west

I can't fucking say that I'm trans and bi without having people beating the shit out of me, but I can fuckin' write that I'm gay as fuck in fanfic or writing gay shit about my fave with fanfic

Imagine some people defending state wide censorship over fanfic, because they don't like icky fanfic, that's a sign that either you are brainwashed or fucking privileged and taking your freedom for granted. You know why Asian and other non western USA-European are more chill with fanfic and fandom?

Why we are less prone to make some stupid callout over fanworks?

Because most of us doesn't have the same information and expression privilege like the west, we take any freedom that we can have

That's in 2017... There's probably more than one million websites being censored rn. I cannot even buy pride pin here because NO ONE outside of internet selling it! The censorship always begin from "banning information to protect children and moral from nsfw" down to censoring Spongebob Squarepants

You don't like something? Just don't fucking read it, it wouldn't stop the author to write and when they do stop writing usually after they are harassed so bad to the point of mental break down or suicide. What the actual fuck...

Defending and supporting state wide censorship because you want to feel superior on the internet is beyond stupid and it showing your privilege... Also yah fuck you who defend china aggressive state wide censorship because adult x adult RPF icky or whatever, I like reading Tom Hiddleston x Reader, because I'm lonely and it's fun. Don't lie that you never thinking of marrying your favorite celebrities or dreaming about dating Gerard Way.

What the fuck you gonna do about it? Crucify my ass? So long you are not shoving it to the person's face, who give a fuck? It's not a justifiable ground to cheer for government mandated national wide censorship. A lot of westerners are so privileged and terminally online to the point their mind revolve around online discourse 24/7 I'm not saying discourse has no damn merits but you get what I said...

Some people particularly white westerners are so privileged they have the chance to goes back 180° and agreeing with conservative mindset they claim to hate so much... Also your kink critical bullshit and your bullshit crusading over dark stories? Yeah. Heavily influenced by TERF and conservatism. Newsflash...

I'm not a person who agree with all ship or stories, i don't claim any moral high ground. I was so scared of getting cancelled due to the hostile neo puritan fandom culture, but seeing people defending China great firewall and aggressive censorship finally broke something inside of me and I cannot stay quiet

I don't give a fuck about your fanfic discourse, If i don't like something i just wouldn't fucking engage with it and wouldn't read...

I'm done, I'm tired. Fucking tagging this shit as anti vs pro because i need to get the message out there and LET THE CHAOS begin

( When you want to escape your country censorship to the internet but then you see the supposed liberated westerners people wanting censorship because they want to feel moral. Yes there are even westerners who don't want to see anything even remotely 'problematic' example: they will attack Zutara or fuckin' Reylo shipper whatever. See? You are terminally online and so privileged... Congratulations... Here's your fucking medal and gold star)

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romanarose · 1 month

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If You Wanna be Wild: Chapter 7

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Everything falls apart and evryone is alone.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!:mentions of rape an violence, what happened to Helena, smut, repressed feelings, angst.

Almost everything was written by Fen <3

2.7k words

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

**************

There was no making up. There was no Javi bringing Santi food as an apology, there was no talking.

When Santi walked into the office on Monday, he saw the fucking desks rearranged, Javier’s and Santi’s on other sides of the room instead of pushed face to face. Santi quickly rushed to the bathroom where he panic vomited and had an anxiety attack, resulting in him being 45 minutes late. Javi didn’t say anything about it.

Where Santi couldn’t eat, Javi couldn’t stop eating, munching down food and taking frequent trips to the vending machine. His doctor was going to kill him. Santi could barely function, even coming in late or leaving early which was a cardinal sin in his book. Still, none of it stopped him from seeing Candy. Occasionally Candy asked about him because all month Javi hadn’t been to see her either. Santi couldn’t get much answer either.

They worked, but mostly separately. Javi had even been trying to find somewhere else to work, but there weren’t exactly free rooms in the precinct. They talked occasionally but only about Lorea… making Santi desperately lonely. He had his family and he loved his tias, but they weren’t Javi. It was the day of the rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya, which forced them to be in close proximity as they dressed in plain clothes and scouted the area for any sign of the Lorea family. Not wanting to look too much like officers on alert, Santi tried making conversation, none of which was working with Javi, only getting few word answers.

The boy was going to drive him absolutely batshit insane if he didn’t stop talking. It was bad enough he kept asking. ‘Should we get food’ or ‘it’s nice out today’, but his voice mixed with the crowds and noise and music and chatter or the rally, people shouting about whoever it was they were here for, politicians trying to stop them and constantly flashbacks of that night of the ball… Then Santi had to go and say

“She misses you.”

“You mentioned her name one more fucking time and I’ll-”

“You’ll fucking what?” Santi snapped, his nerves had twisted, hardened suddenly by rage.

His anger took Javi by surprise, he’d never heard him speak like that to anyone let alone him.

Santi took his pause as indignation. “I mentioned Candy once. Once. And that’s only because you haven’t seen her, or called her or anything!” He hissed. “She’s worried about you actually, she-”

It was Javi’s turn to snap.

He grabbed the younger man by the back of his collar and pulled him into a side alley, using his own momentum against him and slamming him up against the brick wall.

Sant let out a little huff of air as his back collided, gritting his jaw as pain raced along his back.

The action had been forceful, but not enough to cause discomfort for most people. However, a rough, uneven lump of mortar had poked oddly against the scar at the nape of his neck, sending a tingle down his back.

Javi rammed the heel of his hand into the wall next to Santi’s head, using his height to his full advantage as he leaned over him like he was interrogating a suspect instead of a colleague. A friend.

Santi breathed hard, his frown pinching his eyebrows together, and Javi would say he even looked cute if he wasn’t so bloody annoying, so obsessed with getting under his skin. Unable to let anything go, constantly digging at him in his self-righteous attitude, just needing to push, and push, and push, and…

Cute. The thought caught him off guard. When had he started to think of Santiago as cute?

“What the fuck are you doing Peña?” He growled, puffing his chest out, but not pushing back.

Javi shook his head slightly, trying to break his racing mind, trying to get back to reality. “Candy, look, you can’t just-”

“She’s an adult Javi, I can-”

“You’re going to get her killed!” His voice raised at the end, louder and more desperate than he had intended, with just the slightest waver. He hoped Santi didn’t hear it, but he probably did. Nothing got past him. “Do you understand?” Santi glared at him, the muscles in his jaw flexing. Those stupid large doe eyes looking painfully dark and enticing. “You’re flaunting her. Taking her to the ball and, and-”

Santi scoffed. “That’s none of your business, I asked her, I-”

“You’re gonna get her gutted and dumped on the side of the road!” Javier screamed, haunting flashbacks to Helena’s beaten and raped body, wrapping his coat around her and having to carry her out, not sure if she was dying or not. “You know how easy it would be for Lorea to do something? This isn’t even a put two and two together situation, Pope, it’s you waving a four right in his fucking face! And what do you think is gonna happen when he takes her, huh? When he beats her and rapes her an tortures her to get information on YOU!”

Santi swallows, his face still hard, but that little bob of his Adam’s apple draws Javier’s eye, but he doesn't respond. Javier lowers his voice, fist still gripping Santi’s jacket.

“She’s not gonna give you up, she’s not gonna help them hurt you. She’s gonna end up dead. You’re gonna…” He closed his eyes for a moment, took a small breath. It was easier not to look at him, not to have to stare at his soft eyes and plump lips. “You’re gonna end up dead too, Pope. I can’t… I’ve seen it, okay?”

Javier screwed up his face, opening his eyes so that he could look at Santi man to man. Implore him to see reason.

“I’m not telling you to stop seeing her, I’m just saying.... I’ve seen shit happen to girls in her line of work. To officers like you that are still wet behind the ears to this kind of thing-” The second it was out of his mouth, he knew he’d made a mistake.

“I’m not a fucking child, Peña.” Santi hissed, pressing forward and getting up in Javier’s face. “I know that’s what everyone at the station seems to think and all their little Virgin Maria mierda. I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck if all they see is that.” He pushes firmly on Javier’s chest, almost smacking as he punctuates his sentence. “But I thought you’d know better! I was black ops special agent, I spend years of my life in almost every goddamn continent doing retcon, assassinations, covert operations and rescuing women and children and getting SHOT! I’m not-”

“I’m not saying you’re a child-”

“You are! You are!” Santiago growls, smacking Javi’s chest repeatedly. He doesn’t care that he does sound like a child in that moment, arguing relentlessly on semantics. His emotions are bubbling over and muddying his head. “You’re saying that you know best. That your word is law. Despite all you do to endanger Candy!”

“I do n-”

“You do! You think you’re above it all, you’re just as bad, you pretend to care but you-”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Garcia!”

“Make me!”

He doesn’t think.

There’s always times he doesn’t think. When he gets too lost in whatever emotion he’s letting overwhelm him. Sometimes rage. Sometimes guilt. Usually negative either way. That’s where Santi is a good partner, keeping a cool and level head while Javi plays bad cop.

Usually ends up with him throwing a punch, not a kiss.

Santi knew ‘make me’ was childish. Knew it was playground nonsense reserved for kids still in single digits. But if everyone was going to keep calling him that, keep pretending that he wasn’t the only actual goddamned adult in the room then-

Then…

Javier’s lips on his steal his breath away, rob him of every thought that has ever run through his mind. And, for once, it’s blissfully quiet. The anxieties pushed away for the peace of a lover's kiss.

Javi presses closer, pushing Santiago further into the wall and cupping his face with his warm hand as he kisses him, body to body, warmth to warmth. Darting out his tongue to just trace Santi’s bottom lip and groans when he parts them immediately, no hesitation, and lets him lick into his mouth.

The angle’s a little awkward, Javier’s body trapping Santi’s hand between their chests. But Santiago’s fingers curl into his shirt, pulling him closer as his kisses leave him breathless and desperate for more.

Javier’s leg bumps into his and Santi moves a step, moaning softly and then whining as his thigh presses against his half hard cock, a sharp spike of pleasure running up his spine and-

His thoughts all come crashing down. What the fuck, what the fuck was he doing? His mother’s voice rang in his head, screaming his name.

He could get arrested for this, thrown in jail, worse. He was going to burn in hell.

Santi pulled back quickly, disentangling himself from Javier so quickly that both men nearly fell. He turned, not giving the older man a second look, and ran out of the alley into the crowded street.

He didn’t even hear Javier call his name.

“Are you okay, baby?” You asked, your naked body covering Santiago while giving him tender kisses, scooting yourself up and down his cock. You loved to tease him, get him whimpering and watch as all those troublesome thoughts left his pretty little head. He was too pretty to be so worried all the time.

He’d been stressed on and off about Javi, occasionally bringing it up, but you think he stopped when he realized it upset you. You were really good at pretending to care when old professors droned on and on about academic works or when men talked about themselves or complained about their wives and mothers again and again and again. You could’ve faked not being upset when Santi, but you didn’t fake anything with him. Javi’s absence hurt your feelings. You were worried about him, and you were angry at him for abandoning you and hurting Santi. For continuing to hurt his feelings. Bitch.

But honestly… you just miss him. A lot. It would take more than a poster to patch this, he’d have to make things right with Santi too, but you’d forgive him. You just wanted him back, and you wanted Santi happy again. He was already thin enough, and as your body slid up and down the sweaty length of him, you could feel he’d lost weight.

Santi moaned loudly, gripping onto your hips as you bounced on his length, his eyes rolling back in his head as your heat engulfs him over and over. Pulling him deeper and deeper.

The fat tip of his cock presses deliriously, perfectly rubbing over your walls with every slick slide. Stretching you so wonderfully like he was made for you. He was, he really, really was. Something was bothering him today, and he was finding solace in you. You were happy to give it to him. Pushing all other thoughts out of your head.

He whines, babbling nonsensically with his eyes closed, “please, please, please,” He rocks up against you, letting his body override his brain as you fuck him into the mattress. “Please, gonna come, please, need you so much,” he gasps, almost sobbing from pleasure.

You stroke his cheek and pick up your pace, even if he hasn’t said you could tell how close he was. The way his stomach muscles tense, how his eyes are screwed shut and head thrown back into the pillow, “it’s okay, it’s okay, you can come, give it all to me.”

He shakes his head rapidly, “no, please,” he moans, “need you, need mommy to come, please.”

His whines change in pitch, the little sounds getting higher and higher as he reaches the point of no return. His mouth hangs open, his skin flushed and sweaty, and heat floods to your core.

You brace yourself with your left hand on his leg behind you as you ride him, leaning back ever so slightly to change the angle just enough that he continuously hits perfectly inside, stretching you to your limit.

Santi sobs, the position change sending a buzz up his spine, pressing on the thick length of his cock to a surprisingly maddening degree. His whole body pulsed, stealing the air from his lungs.

He bucks up once, his eyes fluttering open in surprise as he comes, his length pulsating. He empties himself deep inside you, his orgasm stretching onwards and overtaking every possible thought.

You smile as you watch him, happy to see him so blissed out. You ride him throughout his high, trying to prolong his sensations as long as possible. He deserved it.

He sighs, shivering with aftershocks as he comes back to himself and looks up at you. You open your mouth to speak, the words on the tip of your tongue.

Santi grabs you by the hips, urging you up and off him and pulling your aching pussy onto his face. He lets out a small groan at the mess he made, his cum leaking out of your folds before he runs the tip of his tongue through them.

You bite back a moan, grabbing onto his hair for stability as his mustache brushes against your clit.

His mouth feels like heaven as he lick and swirls around your clit, his movements soft but certain, quickly pushing you towards your peak.

Instinctively you buck your hips, grinding down on his mouth to chase your high. He rocks you against him, urging you tp move and fuck his eager tongue.

“Santi…” you whine as you come hard against him, pulling fiercely on his hair.

He continues licking, moaning against you as he drinks down every drop of your release.

You breathe heavily, boneless for a moment before slowly moving away to lay down next to him.

He pouts a little as you settle. “I wasn’t finished.” He smiles cheekily, your cum shining all over the bottom half of his face,

You giggle, and gently swat his arm and cuddle up next to him. Santi didn’t need instruction, scooting his back to your chest. In your arms, where he belonged. You loved being like this with him, but somehow it always felt like something was missing. You loved when Javi used to hold you, protecting you with a strong arm around your body, but again, you felt like something was missing, in your arms this time instead of around you.

You kiss the scar on his spine. “Good boy, Santito.”

It happened so fast. Santi teanses and you barely have a second to register how he turns to you, his eyes widen in panic, his skin turning ashen before he’s up, out of bed and pulling on his clothes so fast that it shouldn’t have been possible. What the fuck? Did you do something wrong?

“Santi?” you start, trying to keep your voice soft but unable to hide the fear that has overcome your words.Why is he leaving? What did you do wrong? Did you mess up things with Santi too, the one good thing left? You barely sit up before he’s shoving a handful of dollars at you, practically just throwing them in your direction and the bed.

“Here.” His voice is quiet, distant. Like he’s not really there. A stark comparison to his panicked, edgy movements. He doesn’t even bother tying his shoes, simply shoving his feet inside them and stumbling towards the door.

“Wait, Sant-”

He slams the door on his way out.

Leaving your bed cold, and you alone.

It was supposed to be sex, talking. Build a nice repour. That was it. You were good at it too, making old ugly men think you were infatuated, but yourself detached from even the most charming and attractive. Something happened with Javi and Santi, a line that became blurred, friendship and genuine attraction and care. Now they were gone.

You hate yourself for how hard you cry.

***************

thank you so much to everyone whose stuck around while i sort my SHIT OUT (its never ending)

If you like me writing javi, i wrote a drable today too, and if you wanna see a totally insane version of santi, come to rooms on fire!

be sure to give @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction a follow, he's amazing and my everything. they are pumping out AMAZING works rn for the moon knight bingo.

I appriciate you all very very much, please let know your thoughts in the comment!!!

I know you've stuck around for this song, please drop a comment and say hiiiiii!!!!

follow @romana-updates for more!

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolb @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor @solar-fics

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yukitonz · 5 months

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Hehe I love DDLC 💕

Anyway, I made some redesigns for the DDLC chracters. I get the point of why they look more basic - but like- give them some character, some life. Some- snazziness. Anyway art and little headcannon things included. Also yes, my HC's don't follow cannon- But... I like to give some extra story dazzle too ✨️ (Loved DDLC tho, 2nd favorite game)

Sayori Headcannons-

-Ends up with the Protagonist in the end (I'm going to give him a good chracter too. Not the basic ass Protagonist no one likes.)

-does NOT go yandere like Monika. Just genuinely wants a healthy, happy relationship. Monika did allow her to remember what happened, and Sayori does NOT want that to repeat!

-Is straight, very supportive of LGBT. Cis Female (She/her)

-Joined the club mainly to make friends. Sayori didn't hangout a lot, and Monika had invited her, so she joined. She ended up getting into some books. Sayori then invites him Later.

-Tried to hang out with a lot of people, wanting to be popular. Some days she felt lonely, and often wanted to be around people to avoid her thoughts.

-Helps Natsuki with cooking (Aka Natsuki comes to her place and they cook)

-Was first friends with Monika (other than the protagonist)

-Listens mostly to Hyperpop and typical 2000's pop music. Will occasionally pop out with the heaviest metal known to man.

-Is a severe people pleaser, and has bad anxiety/depression. Hides it well.

Yuri Headcannons-

-Ends up dating Natsuki. This is after Monika is erased, and Natsuki makes up their bond, and they end up together. Yuri is a lot more open/less socially awkward around her.

-Simply Queer. Dates for love, not gender. Cis Female (She/Her)

-Joined the club due to a very strong passion for reading and writing. Natsuki and her used to switch each meet with reading their books, and Yuri very much enjoyed parfait girls (and OFC Portrait of Markov)

-Wants to be a writer when she grows up. Mainly into phychological horror and poem writing.

-Natsuki and Yuri (before the literature club) used to write small poems for each other. They also used to be best friends, but had a falling out due to an argument, and then the events of DDLC. (Monika manipulating them)

-Wears a matching heart pin with Natsuki. Kept it even after their falling out, since Yuri often holds onto old memories.

-Has bad depression and social anxiety, but usually tries to hide it. Tries to hide in the past where times were better.

-listens to emo, goth and metal music.

-Dresses in Gothic fashion.

Natsuki Headcannons-

-Ends up with Yuri. Natsuki had always liked Yuri since their first meet, but during events of cannon DDLC, Natsuki tried to hide her feelings and tried to get with the Protagonist to ignore her feelings for Yuri.

-Sapphic/queer. Doesn't really put a label, but likes women. Trans female (She/Her). Is also Ace.

-Joined Literature club because she had a passion for writing, and because Yuri was going.

-Used to be an extremely popular student, but cut herself off when she was introduced to the toxic side of big groups. She wanted only a trust worthy friend who made her ignore her home life.

-Lives with abusive father, but often found ways to avoid going home. (Went to Sayori's a lot, hung-out with other club members, and sometimes stayed overnight at Yuri's)

-Even after Monika got erased, she still had some memory of the cannon events. This led to her making it up with Yuri and cherishing when she had a bit more. Aka she toned down her tsundereness.

-Has an extreme fear of venting to people/telling people anything about her. She often reads her Manga to escape reality and put herself in a happier world. Also part of the reason she dresses so cutsey, to put herself in a world of happiness.

-Has an extreme interest in dark themes too. She loves phychological horror, and wants to take a route in psychology.

-Was never that close to Monika. It was mainly Sayori and Yuri. Natsuki didn't trust Monika, and with her bad experience with popular kids it was awkward talking to her.

-Is a perfectionist

-A year before High-school she stole a lot. Because of her home life and the lack of money, she resorted to stealing a lot.

Monika headcannons-

-Doesn't end up with anyone, as she was deleted. She does learn to "accept" though.

-Queer, same with Yuri, love is love. Cis Female (She/Her). She is ace.

-Never wanted to be popular. She was a transfer student and had unique looks and extreme intelligence so she became popular quick. (Her intelligence in science is how she figured out she was in a game)

-Grew up extremely lonely. She was a loner, and was often hidden in school. It's what she enjoyed, except a few friends. That's why she made the literature club, knowing not a lot would join.

-Has a passion for writing. Wrote a romance novel, and planned to write more. Her second choice was a professional piano teacher, having a passion for music and how it helps her escape and create melodies to ease her mood.

-Was not very loved as a child. Parents never paid attention to her, and she never dated. Not even a friend. When the Protagonist showed a new kind of kindness, she became obsessed with the love and kindness that wasn't because of her popularity in any way.

-Genuinely regretted what she did to Sayori, but continued as she already made too many moves. Monika missed the person who talked to her first in the club, and one of the only other person who showed her kindness that wasn't because of popularity.

-Almost did what she does in the game for Sayori (considering the act of kindness) but they had a small separation before it could get that far, and Sayori hung out with more and more popular people- drawing Monika away slightly.

-To Monika, MC and Sayori were her first two ever honest friends

-Was a perfectionist and love obsessed/Yandere due to PTSD

Hope you all enjoyed 😎 I'm going to go back to dying in my grave 🤯

#ddlc #doki doki literature club #ddlc fanart #ddlc monika #ddlc sayori #ddlc yuri #ddlc natsuki #natsuki #yuri #sayori #Monika #doki doki #headcanon #original art #art #doodles #artists on tumblr #yukitonz art

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chenlopez · 1 year

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Can I just say how much I have loved every step of tarlos? Like yes they aren’t always coping in healthy ways but they’ve never once tried to write them as a toxic couple for drama. One thing as a writer myself that I hate is when a narrative is chosen for the sake of drama, but that drama isn’t organic and doesn’t serve any purpose other than hurting characters.

TK and Carlos’ arcs have come with pain and they aren’t always on the same page but lone star has never relied on cheap shots like cheating or turning one of them nasty and toxic. Every conflict is done with grace even when either one of them is in the wrong, they’re not treated as though they’re toxic people and their relationship isn’t worth the fight, because they are worth it.

Their entire relationship has been done so beautifully. Their ups and downs aren’t objects to tear them apart or for a reaction. They’re all obstacles they face together to become a stronger couple. They work through issues and those issues aren’t fixed in one episode they actually reoccur and they face them together because tarlos is the kind of pairing that you know deserves that #endgame label from the start. They’re each other’s person and every moment from 1x01 until now has been them working toward being their best selves and being the best versions for one another. They deserve this wedding so much and they truly are that couple who will be remembered for years to come.

There is no comparison to them on any other show right now. They’re healthy and their very existence shows that gay love can be portrayed to be just as imperfect as any straight couple can be, they can have ups and downs and be made for one another without being overly corrected and too perfect that it’s boring, or too toxic. They’re doing a beautiful thing for us as fans, for the lgbt community, and just for tv in general. Tarlos is just really special and I don’t see any other couple on tv doing it like them right now. I’m so glad that I’ve been here from the start and get to watch them become husbands next week!!

tl;dr tarlos are perfect bc they’re imperfect

#tarlos #tk strand #Carlos Reyes #this is not written well I just needed to say something and these words came out #I can probably write more eloquently if I tried

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cantsayidont · 4 months

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Most people are familiar with the concept of no-homo, where obvious or apparent homoeroticism is repudiated with superficial denials, but now that it's become relatively common for Popular Media to include characters who are actually canonically gay, writers and media creators have developed a couple of exciting new variations on this time-honored theme:

where-homo: establishing that a character is canonically LGBT, but never allowing that to be more than a talking point, leaving the character without any narratively meaningful romantic or sexual relationships or history, and often with no LGBT peers (the platonic ideal of the lone gay friend in an otherwise straight social group).

there-homo: deploying a few canonically LGBT characters and then carefully limiting the story's (acknowledged) queer content to those (usually) secondary characters — even if that makes no sense in context, and even if the story continues to aggressively no-homo its main or narratively more important characters.

you-homo: exploiting the aggressive tendency of modern fandom to immediately ship any characters who stand next to each other for even 2 seconds (especially if those characters are white men) and engaging in calculated gay-baiting with the characters who will never, ever be canonically acknowledged as LGBT, confident that online fans will do the hard work and rationalize the evasion by saying stupid shit like, "What's more gay: actual LGBT people with legal rights and meaningful gay culture or whatever these two have going on?" In this way, the creators can cultivate the appearance of being Progressive Allies without ever doing anything too controversial or commercially risky.

#comics #teevee #movies #homophobia #this isn't ONLY about neil gaiman #although he is of course a shameless repeat offender #no-homo variations in popular media

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emptylakes · 10 months

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what r ur thoughts on taub and foreman’s relationship? theyre so interesting 2 me

i just recently got to the episodes where they move in together and its so funny & interesting. ig theyre kinda destined to be paired together by the writers since theyre the assigned Boring People on the team but it does work really well. they both need some actual human connection and theyre kind of each others manic pixie dream adult men. i like that theyre bert and ernie. i wouldnt have expected it watching s5 (in part cus foreman had thirteen & taub had kutner and they didnt really overlap) but they were both lonely and miserable through s6 so im glad theyre little friends now. and they both seem mostly naturally straight on their own but they just bring out the lgbt in each other <3 its beautiful

#house md #chris taub #eric foreman

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enixamyram · 9 months

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So I finished Season 2 of 9 1 1 Lone Star and wanted to give a general thoughts on each of the characters so far:

Owen Strand: So overused. Like I generally didn't mind him at first and even kind of liked the character, but the writers constant need to make him center of every season, even putting him needlessly into other people's stories got old really fast.

TK Strand: Generally like him a lot, however I saw someone point out the actors range was somewhat limited and now it's hard not to notice he does have a pretty set expression a lot of the time. Still, my desperate need for as many LGBT romances in various shows as possible means I still have a bit of a soft spot for the guy.

Grace Ryder: An absolute sweetheart and one half of my favourite ship in the show.

Judd Ryder: The second half of my favourite ship and a really fun and enjoyable character. When he was first introduced I immediately felt sympathy for him and my liking has only grown the more we get to know the guy.

Marjan Marwani: A really fun and loveable character! The sad part is, I feel like she could easily become my favourite character if she was just given time to. It feels like she's barely given any real story compared to the others and I want more of her, damn it!

Paul Strickland: Same as Marjan. I love the character, I'm super excited for the fact that he's actually protrayed by a trans man, but I don't feel like I know him enough to love him as much as I want to. Give the guy some more focus and screen time already!

Carlos Reyes: Another delightful character. Kinda hope we get to see a bit more of him next season, maybe more story that isn't purely his romance with TK? I love the ship but I want to love the character on his own and I don't feel like I'm quite there yet.

Mateo Chavez: Pretty neutral about him. He's a fine enough character, has a few moments and l enjoy his stories well enough.

Tommy Vega: In my opinion, she is a big improvment to the previous captain. The episode of her husband passing gutted me (for the most part...) and I love her.

Nancy Gillian: Same as Mateo. Pretty neutral. I like her, enjoy her scenes but have no real strong feelings either way.

Overal my main critic is definitely the overuse of some characters while others get neglected. It also feels a lot more over the top and unrealistically dramatic than the original managed to be even at it's most over the top moments.

#9 1 1 Lone Star #Anti Owen Strand #TK Strand #Grace Ryder #Judd Ryder #Marjan Marwani #Paul Strickland #Carlos Reyes #Mateo Chavez #Tommy Vega #Nancy Gillian

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gayedmundo · 2 years

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I feel like people don’t realize how much of a risk making Buddie canon would be for 9-1-1 or the reasons why it’s completely understandable to be nervous about whether or not it will be canon. Yes, the show has gay characters. Hen, Karen, Michael, David, Josh, all of the LGBT characters over on Lone Star, they’re all fantastic characters and I’m glad that the writers were willing to have them in the show. But you can’t say that Buddie can easily happen just because these characters exist. There’s a difference between introducing gay characters upfront and making main characters gay seasons into your show. Most shows have gay characters nowadays! Homophobes have had to tolerate it on some level and get used to it. But LGBT characters are almost always immediately labelled as being LGBT within their first season. Because then these straight viewers can know who they are and accept that they’re a part of the show whether they like it or not right away. Yet if they’ve connected to Buck and Eddie, these seemingly straight men, for seasons and care for them and then suddenly THEY’RE GAY TOO?????? That’s a threat.

Unfortunately 9-1-1 is a big cash cow. I mean ,theres a reason why FOX and Disney were negotiating the finances until the very last minute and it's because they both get a LOT of money out of that show. It’s one of the most popular shows across all of network television right now and while yeah, online, Buddie shippers are the biggest presence and it can easily feel like that’s the whole audience because of that, the most common and most reliable viewers for network television nowadays are the older audience members. The ones that just turn on TV and see whats on rather than having to mess with signing up for all the streaming services that exist now. The ones who watch FOX news and see commercials for a firefighter show and decide to check it out. They don't go online to live tweet during the episodes but they are tuning in regularly and yeah. Making Buddie canon is a huge risk for that audience.

At this point, that audience has never even considered the possibility that Buck and Eddie might be interested in guys or each other. If the writers ever plan to actually do this, they would have to flash some blindingly obvious signs in those people’s faces well before they get together to prepare them for what’s coming and get them used to the idea. So when people act like it should happen right away or like neither of them would need a coming out arc before it happens, I don’t think they’re really considering what that large silent audience is seeing in this show right now. It is so far from what we see. I really, really hope that the writers do plan on taking the risk one day. They’ve clearly never shut down the possibility entirely, and I do think that it’s possible, but I also think that they would probably wait until they know they’re on their last season to take a risk like that. I just think that people need to look at this with nuance and some realistic expectations because way too many people in this fandom seem like they think that people even considering the possibility that they might not make them canon makes someone stupid.

#buddie #911 #911 fox #ok to rb #no one is gonna read all this I’m just dumping my thoughts out

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composemythoughts · 1 year

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#poem #poetry #short story #poets on tumblr #story #writing #writer #poetic #poema #writers #lgbt #lgbtq #lost love #longing #love #scorpio #passion #woman #lonely #life

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meant2beestudios · 8 months

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Lord of Lies Devlog #1

September 9th, 2023

Hey hey, it’s Joy! (Flowersforjoy)

Note: This Devlog is split into sections, so feel free to take it all in or skip to what you want to know. If you read any Devlogs at all, you’re a blessing (also you’re hot).

Without further ado let’s talk about my #Once Upon A Time VN Jam Entry:

(Credit to mikalogo for this gorgeous logo!)

What is “Lord of Lies”? A good question, but before we can talk about “Lord of Lies” we need to talk about:

Okay? What the hell is “Princess Poison”?

In short, ‘Princess Poison’ is ‘Lord of Lies’. In many ways they are the same story, but in many other ways they are two different things.

‘Princess Poison’ was actually my first full length novel I ever finished back in 2019 *gasp*- it is a 60k word, half dark fantasy/adventure, half lgbt romance novel. Written back when I was a young aspiring novelist.

‘Princess Poison’, was a story about Lawrence Bane, a 25 year old man born with a ‘witch power’ the power to track any living thing, given he has DNA to do so. He’s hired by the leader (who only goes by the code name: King) of a witch hunting group known as: “The Noble House Witch Hunters” hence, the code names for the members being: King, Queen, Prince, Princess… etc. Lawrence is hired by King to track his second in command “The Princess” and what they find when tracking her, changes Lawrence’s life forever. Sending him on a wild adventure full of danger.

The entire story is available here on AO3 (I was bold lol).

Note: I don’t actually like the original story nor do I think you should read it, unless you have way too much time on your hands and/or morbid curiosity. I posted it here mainly to prove that it does in fact exist. For me, this story only serves as a way to gauge my growth as a writer in the last 5 years.

The Problems with Princess Poison

What’s wrong with it? You may be asking.

Nothing especially egregious outside of just being the first full length piece I ever wrote. Most of it’s problems stem from the fact that it was an ambitious first attempt.

Princess Poison’s biggest problems were, (to name only the major ones):

Too many characters in the main cast

Villain was predictable and very cartoon-y

Too much dialogue and exposition

Poorly written fight scenes galore

No sense of time progression

Lackluster/nonexistent world building

A poorly explained power system

Complicated, jarring plot twists

Plot holes

Character arcs that amount to nothing

In short, it was a total mess. I had finished the story but, it was too much, and not enough. I was 19 when I wrote it originally (I’m 24 going on 25 for reference) it was a lot for a new author to write a story with so many moving parts.

I was proud of myself for finishing it, and finishing it in a 3 month period. But what I was left with was a mediocre end product.

Not to mention the actual writing for the story was lonely and torturous. I forced myself to get up at 5am and write, I forced myself through scenes I didn’t even like (but thought I needed). It was after I finished writing it that I had a bit of crisis in regards to if I wanted to write again at all because the experience was so miserable. And what I came back with wasn’t even worth the struggle. Worst of all, I was forced to face the reality that I may not like writing as much as I thought I did although I had known I wanted to be a writer since I was 8 years old.

In order for ‘Princess Poison’ to work it would have to be completely rewritten and twice the length.

RPG Maker, The Pandemic, and Mistakes

Okay, so after writing Princess Poison initially I took 3 months off before I decided to continue working on it. I still wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted to do. But I had convinced myself that writing is the only passion I ever had, and that this was just how it had to be.

How naive I was.

So I got to editing and enlisting beta readers. I actually have always enjoyed this process, it feels good to share your work with others (even if they are critiquing it. At least you know that you are making moves to improve your work.

And as we established this story definitely needed improvement.

The common feedback I kept getting were all the problems I listed before. My solution to these problems…I needed to rewrite it.

But I didn’t wanna rewrite Princess Poison, I didn’t want to write a whole other novel, because it wasn’t just a couple things that needed to be tuned, it had to be built from the ground up.

So…why not make it into something that wasn’t a novel?

Enter RPG Maker.

Why RPG Maker you may ask?

At this time in my like I’d been a humongous fan of Dan and Phil for many years. And one of my favorite videos on their conjoined gaming channel, one I would rewatch a lot, was this gem: 14 YEAR OLD PHIL’S GAME - Dan and Phil Play: The Mark Of Oxin!

Basically the video is the two guys: Dan and Phil playing a game Phil had made himself when he was 14 years old in RPG Maker 2000 (I think?)

Something that stuck with me about this video was how Dan was so impressed by Phil making a game so young and finishing it.

Phil’s game made me feel a little better about Princess Poison was it good? No. But, it existed, it was finished and best of all I’d done it all by myself, that alone was impressive.

Had Phil kept making games, he’d have gotten better. What mattered though, was that he had fun. He shared it with his school friends, then Dan as an adult, and then the world.

So again, why not make Princess Poison into a game?

I mean let’s go back to some of those bullet points.

Too many characters in the main cast

Perfect for RPG

Too much dialogue and exposition

If the dialogue was optional, it would add to the experience, not take away.

Poorly written fight scenes galore

Didn’t need to write any fight scenes, you could just play through it.

No sense of time progression

The time progression in game feels a lot more tangible.

Lackluster/nonexistent world building

The world I’d be forced to build, the environments, the people that lived there, the culture, etc…

A poorly explained power system

The power system could be the battle system!

There were still obviously plenty of story related problems that still needed to be fixed, but if I wasn’t being bogged down by descriptions of environments and the logistics of fight scenes, I’d have more time to focus on the characters and plot.

So I’d started learning RPG maker, somewhere in late 2019-and all throughout 2o20, the perfect time to learn it since a little thing went around, that you may have heard of…

COVID 19 and the pandemic! I had gotten my first apartment and had ample time to learn the program.

And boy did I! It became my hyper-fixation I put in easily 500 hours in the coarse of a couple months. I learned, and then it was finally time, nearly a year and half later to make-

Princess Poison: The Game or PP Game as I childishly called it…

At first when working on the game, I kept pretty much everything the same, whole scenes from the book put into game format. It was fun figuring out how to translate the world in my head, to a visual space. The environments especially. Then creating my characters in RPG Maker MV, developing their classes and fighting styles, etc…

I was having so much fun! More fun than I had writing since I was a middle schooler. I’d worked, and worked, rewriting a good portion of the story putting so so many hours into the game.

But I made a mistake, one many devs/game makers know to avoid.

Backup your builds.

I hadn’t, a file got corrupted, and just like that. All that work- POOF!

Gone.

All my hours, for nothing.

I was devastated. I was so angry, so tired. I mourned the loss of the game I loved so much.

I took another break, but- only for a month.

Because unlike novel writing, I did enjoy working in RPG maker, and though I’d lost basically a third of the total game. It wasn’t all lost.

I just had to work again, but this time smarter.

So I did. I somehow managed to push my grief aside, and work again.

I backed up every save, every time I made a huge addition.

I organized my maps better, I made the story more concise, I worked tirelessly until I was able to catch up where I was, and surpass it.

But another thing happened.

Not as tragic as before, but another thing all devs know.

Burnout.

I was exhausted, I got to the point where opening the build was enough to make me feel ill and I’d close my laptop. I couldn’t stand it.

Not to mention, had I not lost the initial build. I might have been done by now.

It was 2021, and I worked on it but very slowly. Almost not at all.

I wanted a change. I had to do something else.

While looking for assets for PP Game (yes we’re still calling it that), on Lemmasoft forums, I discovered some forum posts asking for visual novel writers. I’d applied, created discord, starting using itch, and fell into the world of VN dev.

I’d done some contract writing for other studios and solo devs, but nothing really ever came to fruition, frustrated I decided to join a jam, met a programmer, and started to make my own visual novels. A boy’s love story you may know as ‘Tattoos and Tulips’, something simple for Yaoi Jam 2021.

I failed initially with Tattoos and Tulips development and so put that aside, and turned my focus back to Princess Poison.

I worked slowly on Princess Poison for a couple more months, leading into 2022, before rebuilding a team for Tattoos and Tulips.

I’d finished writing TNT (a story with more words than Princess Poison somehow lol) in a 3rd of the time (I wrote TNT in 3 weeks). And the kicker… I adored writing TNT, and the final product (back when I only had the script). I had realized I did love writing stories in a novel format. It was possible!

So after I had finished writing TNT I continued running the team and when I had some free time I decided what Princess Poison needed was what I had with TNT- it needed a team.

So I started building one, a small one. Tattoos and Tulips had artists, composers, beta readers, etc… Princess Poison had only me. So I hired an artist, I got a co-writer, and I brought on a composer, and unsurprisingly I fell back in love with it. I was going to finish Princess Poison the game finally, and under my new studio! It was all going to work out.

But then one last thing I forgot to account for happened. I backed up my saves, I took needed breaks, and had others to share my enthusiasm and breathe fresh life into the project, but life happened.

My mental health took a horrible turn, (I’ve dealt with panic disorder since I was 6 years old and have been medicated since I was 17) I didn’t know it then, but I had stupidly avoided my medication for so long that I had started to go through withdrawals, very strong withdrawals. Leaving me anxious, depressed, and laying in bed most days for 3 months. In addition, my teammates had their own mental health issues, and personal life interferences and they had to abandon the project. I was all alone with Princess Poison again

I didn’t start to feel better until the start of 2023, I didn’t work on anything during that time other than my own health, and at that point I’d gotten a full time job.

It was starting to feel like, even if I wanted to work on my games, I didn’t have the time. This proved to not be true. I wrote all of Crabs and Cocktails in February. Then got really involved in the indie dev scene during Otome Jam 2023, releasing Tattoos and Tulips during in April.

I was finding my footing as a studio and dev for the first time.

I met other devs, played their games, and fell fully in love with the community. I was constantly inspired by those I spoke to and worked with.

My development with Tattoos and Tulips, Cassie, and Crabs and Cocktails just felt for the most part second nature to me. So the problem might have been that solo developing a game just wasn’t for me…or was it?

Once Upon A Time VN Jam

Then a little jam came to town sometime in 2023 and I knew immediately I had to join, mainly because it was ran by two extremely talented and wonderful friends of mine Chimeriquement and Len.

This jam’s premise brought up old feelings however, though Princess Poison was never a Fairy Tale or even a retelling, there were many allusions to Fairy Tales in Princess Poison, and a little seed got planted in my head. But I pushed it back, I’d tried so many times to make this project happen and it wasn’t happening. It wasn’t meant to be. So I wanted to participate but with my own new original fairy tale story.

But for some reason my brain would not leave Princess Poison. And I hated that.

That original fairy tale story got shelved, and I wondered if I was going to participate in OUAT at all…

But… I am the type of writer that goes where my heart leads me. I learned from TNT that if I wrote what my heart wanted, it would go well.

So I did a crazy thing. I decided, I won’t do something original for this jam.

I’ll give Princess Poison one last chance.

I work a lot. And my job is the perfect place to brainstorm and one afternoon I got a lot of stuff together.

It was as if all my years of experience writing, deving, living even- helped me develop a story that was much better than the original. Sharing a lot of it’s foundation, but with a whole new structure.

The ideas were firing on all cylinders, the characters were making sense, the plot was compelling, exciting! My playlist I made for the story made more sense now? What was going on?

The story changed, a lot. Some of the key things were the same, but so many things were different. Better.

The title even changed. Princess Poison was too juvenile, too edgy, too misleading- not what this project was.

I outlined the story, and though not perfect it was the best it had ever been.

The main thing that changed, and is directly responsible for the biggest changes in the story is the protagonists’: Lawrence’s power. Instead of tracking any living thing, he could tell verbal lies with 100% accuracy. It was the missing piece, after that everything just worked, and “Lord of Lies” was born.

Redemption Arc/Plans Going Forward

So why do you think its going to work this time? Put simply, I don’t. I am taking a leap of faith. I am solo developing this project, the only outside help is an artist I commissioned, and the support of my friends (and potential beta testers).

It’ll be the first project under Meant to Bee Studios that isn’t made by a team. And that’s terrifying for me.

I think I am a decent writer, I can cast voice actors, I can even market a game. But to have practically everything else be my responsibility. To be creating alone again…

Except I am not alone, I have so many dev friends, many of whom solo develop themselves: Snakkiez, Lacydigital, Chattercap… and so many more! They don’t feel alone, I can learn from them. I have what Joy of the past didn’t have.

Now that doesn’t mean it will be smooth sailing.

I’ve joked on Twitter and among close friends that I feel like Lawrence- thrust into unfamiliar territory with a couple tools to guide me. I’m a young knight leaving their village to slay the dragon.

The jam is generous at 3 months, but this is a really big game. Even with all the stuff I have from last time, lots of it has to be rewritten or taken out completely so in some ways I am working from scratch.

The cast is still large, and I worry some of them may slip through the cracks.

I’ve never balanced and RPG before.

I have to make sure the story takes as much precedent, if not more- than the mechanics and gameplay.

It’s nerve wracking and I honestly question myself every day if this is the right thing to do but, something in me is just saying it is.

That this time will be different and that, if I just apply all I’ve learned from this journey I can finally put a cap on this project for good.

I can beat this boss.

I’ve succeeded with every other project I have worked on, but Princess Poison was the one that got away.

It has the most potential now than it ever has. I’ve spent so much time with these characters, so much time in RPG maker, so much time time managing, running teams, making/playing games, talking to people, living life.

If I felt like Princess Poison/Lord of Lies was beyond hope I’d have dropped it in favor of something else but I can’t. I have to see it through, I have to finish it for my own sanity.

((I do want to note that it’s fine to give up on projects- some you just outgrow and that’s fine.))

But this story has grown with me: this most recent outlining process came together in a way it never had and I loved it again. For the first time, in a long time I believed in this project! And the theme, which I cannot say for sake of major spoilers, is the biggest reason this project must see the light of day. This game has the potential to be my best story to date. And that’s saying a lot since all my stories are super near and dear to my heart. But Lord of Lies can outshine them all, only time will tell.

So here we are….

For the past month or so I have been working on this project, I have character concept sketches, in game maps, a full outline. Now I just need the strength, time, and willpower to see it through to the end. So I decided, let’s make a devlog, let’s document and make others aware of this project, let’s hold myself accountable. In addition, I’ll be reaching out to friends, streaming in discord servers my work process, and having fun with this project.

Because, in addition to some of the mistakes I had made, the biggest one dev’s make- is not having fun with what they are doing, myself included.

It’s good to get things done, there is a culture that is romanticized of ‘the grind’, and yes working hard is great! But it’s not sustainable, it’s not conducive to a project filled with passion. At least for me.

I cannot create my best when I don’t love my project. So I am going to love Lord of Lies in a way I never loved Princess Poison.

I’m going to have a memorable 3 months with this project and right my wrongs.

I hope you’ll follow my journey, and soon playthrough Lawrence’s journey on December 31st 2023 the official release day for Lord of Lies!~

Next Week’s Devlog Sneak Peak

For next week’s Devlog; we will be taking a closer look at what Lord of Lies is, now that I’ve talked about my journey with it’s predecessor: Princess Poison is.

Next week I’ll be talking about the cast, world, mechanics, etc… in a non spoilery fashion. Giving you a glimpse into what to expect from this LGBT Romance/Dark Fantasy/Grim Fairytale/Adventure Visual Novel/RPG.

If you like the sound of that please check back in every Saturday from now until December 30th for all devlogs during development.

Credit to the wonderful: Gisselle! My sprite and CG artist! You’ll be seeing more of this cast and her work next week!

Final Note:

Unrelated but still important! Crabs & Cocktails my yaoi/bl kinetic visual novel just came out! It’s full of sex jokes, beach puns, and a silly/flirty romance between a lifeguard and a bartender! Please go check it out if you’re interested!

Until next Saturday!~

#lordoflies #indiedev #indie dev #rpg maker #vn development #vndev #visual novel

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