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pixelatedraindrops · 10 days

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RAINCODE COMIC DUB~🎙️

NEW PROJECT ALERT!

Story takes place at the start of Chapter 4 (MINOR SPOILERS)

Comic Title drawn by Kazin (as well as the whole comic)

Here's the Dub! Vocals and Editing done by me 🎙️📑 Enjoy!!

Further Rambling Below

Hehe I bet you all didn't think voice acting was among my list of hidden hobbies/talents didja? (I’m just full of surprises x3) Well... I can only hope that I delivered well enough here. (please feel free to laugh at my attempted Yakou voice… LMAO)

So this is yet another collab project that @kazinsblog and I did together. The story is based on a kokowendy ch4 canon divergent skit that I made way back last fall. When Kazin saw it, she wanted to make it into a full comic. I didn't protest (I never do LOL) but then I wanted to try something.

I've never attempted a solo dub of a comic before, and honestly I didn't think I would with RainCode due to a majority of the characters being male. Sadly with my naturally high voice I can only do so much with attempting male voices. I usually only do female or child character voices.

But since Kurumi is the lead role of this story, and has the most lines, I decided to give it a try. I do love Kurumi (she's my best girl) so I hope I did her justice here. I like to think I did her voice fairly well. I struggled a bit with the guys (and Halara) but I think my Yuma is decent enough... x'D (plus it was really fun making him sound tired and out of breath :3)

I do enjoy Kokowendy as a ship, though I'm not a huge shipper. But these two are just too cute... ;w; So I think a scenario like this suits them both. Plus it gives Kurumi a chance to be reliable and try to help her beloved hero in his time of need <3 Honestly it can even be seen as platonic. Its very tame (the only small hint is that Yuma blushes at some point, but that's it)

I had a lot of fun doing this!! I got the voices and editing done in only 3 days, so it’s definitely not a long lasting project. (on my end anyway) But I still think it’s a pretty big project with all of the work both of us did. Editing the video was probably the most fun part for me >w< I knew exactly what BGM and sound effects I wanted months in advance c: I only hope I did the editing style of it right. Comic dubs are very peculiar in the way they’re done… 💦 (also no I’m not putting this on YouTube, this is a tumblr exclusive ONLY! And I give NOBODY permission to re-upload it without my consent!)

I’m not sure if I'm the first that's attempted a RC comic dub before, but if I am, then I am very happy c: Idk if I'll do another full one though. Like I said too many of the characters are male... x'D This may be a one time thing for me here. But if I were to do one, I figured why not on a comic that was made specifically for me? c: (ty again kazin!💕)

Anyway I'm done yapping now, I hope you all enjoy! 💜 Feel free to let me know what you think or which role you enjoyed from me the most! (tho I think the answer is obvious lol)

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burninlovebutler · 1 year

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GAH i didn't wanna do this bc im a gemini & i talk a lot if im unsupervised lol BUT YALL WERE POSTIN SOME SAPPY SHIT SO I WANTED TO JOIN (so sorry this is gonna be so long i apologize in advance)

this wasn't initially the road i was gonna take while talking about this but ofc if u read any of my writing or know me in any capacity, it shouldn't surprise you that we're getting sad lol

as i stood next to my partner watching the midnight fireworks last night, i had a fleeting thought -

16 year old me didn't think i'd still be here at 26 -

i didn't expect to still be on this earth in 2023

when i was around that age my home life was really shitty and abusive and lonely and my only saving grace at the time was the family i found within the one direction/5sos fandom. there were so many times then that my fandom friends saved me, literally.

i wouldn't be here today without them.

i stopped being in fandoms around 2016 and while i still have MANY long term close friends from that time, we all have gone our separate ways interest wise.

I didn't realize just how much i missed being a part of a community until i joined tumblr again. the austin/elvis fandom welcomed me with open arms & filled me with that same youthful joy and connection as i had when i was 16. and even BETTER bc this fandom has blown me away with how kind and gentle and loving it is

point is - i’m grateful that i AM still here, that i’ve been here long enough to meet you and experience this amazing fandom.

it's insane to me to think i would've never met some of the brightest stars of my days without walking into that theater that day. my year would've been so empty, lonely and sad without you all, so thank you all from the bottom of my cold lil heart - you all showed up in my life when i needed u the most

(something weird about this 1D -> Elvis/Aus pipeline is that when i went back to see the day i saw the movie the first time it was on July 23, aka the 1D anniversary 👀 lil weird)

i initially made this blog solely for my fanfic but i'm glad i branched out - though i still wanted to take the time to anyone who's interacted w my writings, even if it was just help with plot or moodboards. my heart skips a beat when my writing is a point of conversation.

thank you to the beauties who grace my dash everyday, even if we don't talk often 💖

@feverkitten @p-oolshark @pearlparty @avengen @presleys @mrsniallhoran505 @missmaywemeetagain @marooosa @eliseinmemphis @elvisabutler @lovininapinkcadillac @aconflagrationofmyown @austinsmutler @heartbrake-hotel @dre6ming @flwrs4aust @rosaminny @presleysdarling @woundmetender @rainydayz101 @ggwritesstuff @golden-kiwis @lattedreamer @weak-aesthetic @bcofl0ve

and of course to my almost daily babes, my days would be so empty without you all and my heart would be so deflated - i never thought i'd end up with a group like this

@succsessions @lllsaslll @cryingabtab @elvisfatass @loving-elvis @nora-nexus-34 @lavenderelvis @luluthesandgoose @powerofelvis @bisexualwvtson @samfangirls @lindszeppelin @infatuatedharleys @ab4eva @sagesolsticewrites @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @jelliedonut @steph-speaks @star-shard @foreverdolly @purejasmine @oh-my-front-door

and how could i ever forget the two that really roped me in @karamelcoveredolicity @troubleinapinksuit - even though it was through war, violence & lawsuits (lol) that our love was carved from, it is the most magical. i am so honored and so grateful to call you friends

one of my biggest goals for 2022 was to make new friends - ones who are reliable, kind, like-minded, supportive, generous, loving - because i was feeling so lonely & unloved, and to my surprise this goal was met ABUNDANTLY by you all, i really can not stress how much you all mean to me

extra special shout out to @bisexualwvtson for setting up the christmas card exchange, it was probably my favorite part of this holiday season - those cards made my whole christmas and i will cherish them forever

i love you all so much its DISGUSTING how much i love you - i don’t know how i would’ve made it through this year without you all - and it makes me so fucking sad when i think about all the memories that wouldn’t have happened without austin/elvis/you guys - it is because of you all that i have some of the best and happiest memories of this year, thank you ❤️

i hope that we are together for a long long time - i know that i am, i’m here for the long haul 💗 pls be in the nursing home with me breaking hips to Elvis songs

love, mel xx

(I APOLOGIZE IF IVE MISSED ANYONE I TRIED MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING MY BRAIN IS TRASH SO IM SO SORRY PLS DONT BE OFFENDED IF I MISSED U I LOVE U)

#i love this fandom #i told y’all it was gonna be novel #IM A GEMINI WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME #happy new year #mushy mel #also so fucking sorry this is so late lol #pls this is just my brand #sorry this is so long lol #this is all over the place jesus #i’m so sorry y’all lol

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stuffgoeswrong · 1 year

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Yes i 100% agree with you on what you said about soukoku but now i MUST ask you to talk about odazai as well if you're up for it because i love them too. They are so important to me

Yes, absolutely! Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, it was past midnight last night and I've had classes all day. Odazai has become my OTP to end all OTPs, like it is unfathomable how much I love them. I could literally talk about them all day, so I'm sorry this got so long. I'm so happy you're a chill member of the fandom and love them too! By the way, I wanted to say I totally agree with your opinions on Kousano and respect your Chuuaku ones too! Kousano very much feels like a "these two are cool, put them together" kind of ship without a lot of concern for their development and similarities. While I do love Kouyou as a character, I don't have fond feelings for her when she's presented just by herself (as opposed to her other canon relationships like with Kyouka), and liking both parties of a ship is pretty much a requirement for me. Luckily, this happened with Odazai!

In general I do view this ship through a Dazai heavy lens because I relate to him hardcore and it's hard for me to understand/get attached to stoic characters like Oda. This is weird because I'm probably more like him irl than Dazai lol. I always feel like I'm not looking as deeply into Oda's character as I could be, and I try to be conscious of not lessening his role in comparison to Dazai's, but keep that in mind and judge me if you want as you read this lol.

What made you ship it?

The fact that Dazai showed the most emotion I've ever seen on his face and in his voice (amazing job by Miyano Mamoru) around Oda and the later realization that Dazai was Oda's first and one of his only friends. Not to say other characters *coughcoughchuuyacough* haven't made a significant impact on Dazai. I try not to compare these two ships a lot cause they are both meaningful in their own ways to the story and the characters. But anyway, I cried like a little bitch before Oda's big fight/death scene even happened, when Dazai just is begging him not to go throw away his life and trying to relate to him on a deeply personal level to get him to stay. That really showed to me how much he cared for Oda and how different that relationship was to him whether he knew it or not. Someone also edited the Dead Apple scene beautifully to be more shippy and I can never forget it. Also, Scarlet Sky playing every time Oda is talked about or Dark Era is referenced in the main storyline got me sobbing. I guess what truly made me ship Odazai is just the abundance of a suggested romantic connection (very obvious on Dazai's part). Dark Era (confronting Mori about this massive betrayal and leaving the mafia feels like "you have destroyed everything that was ever important to me, bye"), how Oda thinks of Dazai, not Ango or the orphans, when he believes he's dying after getting poisoned, Dazai literally ruining peoples' lives that he holds dear in the present just so Oda can live and be happy even without him in Beast, Dear Prince (a love song) playing when Dazai recalls that moment in Dead Apple and in the flashback later on, "Was it someone you loved?" and dodging the question LIKE HOW OBVIOUS can you get!!

2. As I fell further into the rabbit hole. . .

So I joined an Odazai discord server around a year ago, love it there, everyone's so creative and lovely, here if interested: https://discord.gg/tnA3mzyB. There's also a lot of analyses on Odazai on Tumblr that make sense! This post about Oda and Dazai being each other's regrets (from Dark Era light novel, Oda says, "Ango and I could stay by Dazai's side because we can understand the loneliness that revolves around Dazai. Even though we are by his side, we would never step within. But now, I'm a little regretful that I never stepped into that loneliness impolitely." Oda just say you wanna hold his hand lol), this whole post about them filling each other's unmet childhood needs, this which basically puts all Odazai moments and mentions together, I absolutely love this theory that there's a physical change in Dazai's ability after he meets Oda, there's just so much to love about them.

3. What I don't like:

Putting this here cause I don't want to end on this note. This ain't even about Oda and Dazai, it's just about the fandom. I don't think any of us who like this ship like the people who complain about the 5 year age difference. It's not a lot at all, especially when you take literally everything else about their relationship into account and the fact that it's fictional and fun. But since side A and B have come out (which I haven't read) I've seen people kind of using it as further evidence that the age gap is a problem and let it cloud their judgement on Oda and Dazai's respective personalities and boundary abiding tendencies. In addition to that I always see the, "but Oda calls him a child and views him like that in the novel" argument, which I don't really get. I watched some YouTube video a while ago that was like, why do partners call each other baby or babe? It's because those words represent a yearning to take care of the other and foster a better, more committed relationship or something like that. Saying your friend has a hurt expression like a lost kid doesn't necessarily mean you think of them as significantly younger or immature compared to you. This especially applies in fictional writing where it can just be used as a helpful visual for something that will be adapted to a screen. I don't have a problem with fans who dislike Odazai romantically, but I do when they completely deny their equal footing. Come on, Oda mixes up his fairytales and Dazai is insanely smart, their relationship would never be abusive on an age basis. Anyway.

4.. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Well for one, I'm a sucker for angst and pain and two, I love childhood friends/best friends to lovers so so so much. Add in the possibility of enemies to lovers in Beast and they have it all. I guess I like the ambiguity and flow of how their relationship could go too. Like, they both would think moving in with each other is totally natural friend behavior, and then there'll be this phase of realization and it'll just pass by like yeah, we're married now. From Dark Era, we get that Oda, Dazai, and Ango can all be friends outside their different ranking mafia positions because they all feel that they think similarly and understand each other. They're all on equal ground, so Dazai and Oda having a profound connection built off that is something I think can be an accurate reflection of real life. At their cores, both want the best for each other. Oda wants Dazai to have a life meaningful to him and suggests that path through what he knows, Dazai wants Oda to live out his dream, helping him to do that in whatever way possible. They are separated by time and space, yet so closely linked by what they've found with each other it hurts. There's literally already a family there with the kiddos too! These two seem to get dumber in each other's presence like SSKK also does and I find that amusing lol. I appreciate that Oda is serious about the people he cares about and doesn't take Dazai's suicide obsession as lightly as a lot of other characters, as some shippers speculate because he has also had depression at one point or another. I love that in several peoples' minds, Odazai would only have conflict when they're upset the other isn't taking care of themself properly. I love that Oda is such an oblivious himbo. I love that people speculate Dazai's bolo tie reminds him of Oda's eyes and that he picked the spot for the grave that overlooks a beautiful view even if he didn't know Oda loved the ocean. I love that they both realize they care about each other when it's too late, that they will meet in the afterlife.

I have many feelings and thoughts. Thank you so much if you listened to me rant and read this whole thing!

#okay but where the fuck did beast dazai get that picture of oda that's shown in the official art when he jumps off the building #asks #ships #bsd ships #bsd #odazai #and my dad doesn't understand why i want a tattoo #i don't know if i'll get something specifically odazai related in the future #but i definitely want a spider lilies design with “goodbye my love” in chinese or japanese kanji to remind me of them #dazai osamu #oda sakunosuke

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12thperigeeball · 4 months

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Hi! I'm so sorry to bring this up but I have some questions/concerns about this year's voting process. I know that this is the first time we have tried this out in two brackets and the first time tumblr has had polls but I have 3 things to bring up.

1. We (currently) have 3 very clear leaders and no one even close to their votes in each category, why not let that stand if it remains like that until voting closes?

2. I'm worried not enough people will remember/see the second poll since they voted already and many aren't used to having two poles. I personally almost didn't even see that there were going to be two rounds until a while after I voted and won't be around much the rest of the weekend since the ball is over. I never would have know. (Also many don't know characters by name only so will there be accompanying pictures?)

3. If we are lengthening the voting can we maybe lengthen the Yule Ball itself to the whole weekend? That way it gives people more time to join in, especially weekend workers. Nominations can still end Sat at midnight, but maybe we could even have voting occur on the theoretical Sunday as an actualy event in the ball that people can react to.

Hi anon! No worries, we're happy to help clarify things.

So first and foremost, I do want to clarify that the voting process this year is a cumulation of different decisions that all three of us have discussed and agreed upon, based off of last year's voting concerns of the community and our experience with the ball theme voting process this year.

One major issue that I know concerned people last year was cheating - and our Google forms runs on an honor system. Doing a no sign in required voting form with no results showing has been the way the ball has worked for ten+ years now, but we can tell when the times have changed and the community asks for more accountability.

Secondly, one concern we heard from the ball them voting from earlier was the amount of options and the votes being more spread out. If you have 200+ votes but the 'winning' option only has 50, then that's an issue, isn't it? And when you toss in the option to see results without having to vote for a nominee, well, that skews things as well. A trade off for accountability, but one we can work with. We did feel like the second round of voting went much smoother than expected and still got an incredible amount of engagement from our user base! We were pretty worried it wouldn't, but it proved otherwise.

So, to answer your questions directly: 1) It has been two hours since voting began (from the time of receiving this ask + writing it. It is now 12 hours since receiving the ask as of posting). In previous years we've seen nominees come out strong out the gate and then fall behind as the process went ahead (in the past 10~ hours we can see that starting to happen now). Making a call about letting votes stand at this time would be putting the horse before the carriage, without factoring in our desire to reduce cheating as mentioned before. Our attempts to reduce vote fixing is our main priority. Also, as of 12PM 12/17/2023, our current queen and couturier winners are 'see votes', lol. Not logging names/emails and showing results have to have a trade off somewhere, and the trade off will require a round 2 of votes.

2) This was also a concern of ours, but our previous ball theme voting rounds and the amount of participants on tumblr itself has assuaged our fears of it being missed. I know having two polls isn't the norm, but we feel confident that we will still get a great turnout as we did before. We try our best to spread the poll around by reblogging it multiple times so people can see it during different times of the day. As for the not knowing characters by name - that was one of my biggest concerns with tumblr polls too! I believe we should be able to attach pictures to poll posts above or below the poll to help as a visual guide, howeverrrr it will stretch the post out significantly. It's something we're still considering the best possible way to show this without clogging dashes from constant reblogging.

3) This is a pretty good idea and one I have already been considering recently! The two day format has been a holdover from the Taima days and while none of us have ever stopped people from continuing to post or rp past the ball dates and never require people to role play out the nominations, the dances, or any other aspect, it still does limit how much time people have. The logistics of it may mean some more thought of course, because we try very hard to be considerate of the holiday by having the ball happen the weekend before Christmas, so we may have to adjust the ball happening earlier in the month to give users a larger cushion to enjoy themselves. You know, convention logic for four days instead of two! We'll keep you guys updated on this for next year, so feel free to let us know how you guys feel about this idea.

#mod cal #qna

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dead-air-radio · 26 days

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Omg here's me just talking about my day so if you're here for gore and sexual stuff this is not it. This is more like a rant/vent lmao so if you're here for me this is for you lmao

Bro I need you guys to understand how much I love this friend of mine. Like not in a romantic or platonic way like neither. He's genuinely like god I don't know what I'd do without him he's literally family, him and their gf are literally closer to me than my actual family and they are in fact my family. Like okay family lore guys gather round but when I had first met my ex it was by one of my best friends if your an Og you know her as M. And pretty much she had 2 best friends that were her ride or die for like 7years and one was my ex and the other was the dude I'm talking about in the beginning I legit might as well just call him my dad cause we'll he is. He was there for me throughout me and my exes relationship and he'd talk with me a lot and we like bonded instantly into like mentor type ass bond. And when my ex started becoming more and more abusive I thought my dad( my friend) would side with him cause yknow people usually side with the person they know longer and they were best friends. And at first I'd talk about it and he never once made me feel like he thought I was lying or that he didn't care. Ofc in the beginning he chopped my ex being so harsh and stuff to 'oh that's always him he's my brother and he'd do nothing like that on purpose I'll give him a talk and just know it's okay to tell me these things etc etc." At the time he was in a bit of disbelief cause well the way my ex acted towards people was like slowly ramping up.

And then I full on had confessed to my dad how he would do certain things (which I didn't even consider rape or abuse at the time) and immediately he just blocked him he sent a message before he did to my ex being like " hey the way you treat Sawyer who you know I see as my son is not smth I want in my life and if you don't cut the shit I don't want to talk to you nor do I want you going around sawyer" (when I read these messages i cried so hard lol I love my dad sm) also my dad (still talking about my friend guys lol) he's a pyshcology major and he's becoming a therapist and when I was trying to detach myself from my ex it was really hard cause I thought I deserved it and it didn't count as rape etc etc.

Pretty much I didn't want to write this man out to be a rapist especially to his 2 best friends. When I had told them about what he did to me it was as a reason why I was gonna stop talking to all of them cause I didn't want to paint him to be a bad person and that i knew if i kept talking about it to them they wouldn't like him so I was basically just trying to pretend like I was never introduced to them so they could keep liking my ex as their brother. But both have stayed by my side even after me n my ex stopped talking. They hate him which makes me feel guilty but I'm glad they've been here with me. I would not be alive if it wasn't for M and my dad. (This is the ex that made me stop using all socials and cut myself off the face of the earth and decided maybe I should try tumblr cause no one I know uses it and I could vent there so you can thank him for you guys hearing this ig lolz)

Anyways lore aside present time so my ex lived a couple hrs away from me but in the same state and M lives like a couple mins from me but my dad lives in a whole other different state and I've only seen him once in person and it was the week my ex and me stopped talking and the week I almost committed suicide but like after my attempt the next day he was pretty much at my door and it was so amazing I love him so much. And then after that day he had to go drive back home :( and it's been almost a year since I first saw him.

Cut to today and he surprised me last week saying how I'd feel if we went out to eat. And I'm like bro I'd love that but your not here only for him to say he'd be coming to see me and we hung out today for the second time in person and guys I'm literally in love with this man like not romantically like idk hoe to express that this dude is literally my dad I love him like he's my own blood. And he got me sushi and refused to let me pay. He got mad at me anytime I looked at price tags lol.

He's just so great. We only had 5hrs to hangout and he surprised me with a new skateboard so we went skating together too and now the day is over and he's already on his way home :( I miss him so much anyways this post was just me talking about how much I love my dad lol and I'll post pics of my skate board too <3. This genuinely was one of my fav days I loved seeing him and I got a gift from his gf (literally my mom lol) and it's a little wolf stuffy. And they said it reminded them of me. Cause even irl people joke about me being a puppy/dog boy lol. Anyways guys I'm not fatherless lmao. I just miss them and it's gonna make me sad they had to leave lmao

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e-munson666 · 2 years

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PT 2

***After the incident at the Henderson house, Eddie is ultra determined to figure you out. But will Dustin be upset about it?***

+++Fluffy & Angsty+++

Still an unnamed series, tysm for the love on the first one (idk how to link it to this one yet sorry lol im brand new to Tumblr)

×drug use mention, language, angst? kinda mean Eddie I guess idk.×

>Mostly in Eddies P.O.V for this one<

🖤xoxo

Its been two days since Eddie walked into the Henderson house and saw her, ethereal in the way she sat on the couch, crossed legs, delicate flicks of the sharpie to her nails. The way the joint hung to her lips, And the way her hair swayed from the breeze of the ac unit she was sat so close to. Why was he STILL thinking about it. Why didn't Dustin say anything about her return? Why did he even care? He grumbled into his pillow "what the fuck is wrong with me?!" slamming his fist into his mattress.

~The next day at lunch~

"HENDERSON" Eddie yells across the cafeteria, seeing Dustin and Mike wide eyed and nervously shuffling towards the Hellfire Clubs usual table.

"Um, he...hey Eddie" Dustin chokes out. "What's up" he ask, chuckling nervously. As if he didn't already know where this conversation was heading. Like Eddie hasn't bugged him constantly since Friday.

"Henderson, Hellfire is tonight, is SHE giving you a ride, or should I pick you up after I get Mike here" Eddie asks squeezing both of the boys shoulders while hovering above them where they sat.

"I don't uh....I don't know if she's giving me a ride, she wasn't home when I left this morning so I couldn't ask. I'll just catch a ride with you.......Eddie?!" Dustin realizes that Eddies grip on his shoulder had fallen. And he was angrily walking in a circle around the table.

Eddie folds his arms into his chest at the revelation. "What is her problem with me anyway Henderson" he spits, unable to hide the annoyance but still obvious intrigue in his voice.

"Eddie, you didn't even remember her, it pissed her off ok, I TOLD YOU THIS....yesterday.....remember" Dustin says sighing, rolling his eyes. He really was tired of Eddie fucking asking about his sister. Why isn't he more focused on the campaign? Wasn't tonight supposed to be a big deal?

"In my defense" Eddie began, shuffling his feet quickly as he continued circling around the group. "She looks NOTHING like she used to ok. I barely registered it was her, even after you told me!" Throwing his arms up, quickly spinning on his heels to face Dustin, now directly across from where he sat.

"Wait whats going on?" Mike asks, utterly confused as to what's happening. "Your sister is back?!"

"Yes, she's back, and apparently its driving Eddie here completely bonkers. He hasn't shut up about it since last week!" Dustin whispered to Mike hoping Eddie wouldn't hear.

"Eddie you guys were in the same grade your whole lives, you were FRIENDS, then when she graduated and you didn't, you two totally stopped being friends, and then she left to go find her dad" Dustin said, eyes trained on Eddies, watching the wide eyed, open mouthed expression on his face as he registers what Dustin was saying.

"She stopped talking to me Henderson. She didn't even tell me she was going to leave for a whole year to find her dad and then one day, poof, she was gone without a word." Eddie says leaning over the table, nose almost pressed up against Dustin's. Breathing rapidly out of pure anger. Or was it? Was he really this upset about her leaving? Or was he just mad she wouldn't speak to him after what happened on Friday?

"I know I know" Dustin says, voice cracking, scooting his face as far away from Eddies as he could. "You're mad at her, she's mad at you, and now somehow, I AM RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR BULLSHIT!!!" Dustin yells, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.

"So I'll swing by and pick you up at 6 Henderson. Hopefully she's there.....I want to know what I did that has HER mad at me" "after what she did" he spat the last part out, standing up straight and storming out of cafeteria to his van. He needed to smoke, asap. His cheeks were burning red and his knuckles were white from clenching his fists as he walked. Why was he letting her get to him so bad? After all this time? He thought he was passed this, over what happened. Slamming the door to his van as he slouched into the seat in the back, he lit a joint and took a long puff. As he exhaled the smoke he chuckled to himself, "Way to keep your cool Munson" and closed his eyes. Defeated.

"This is going to be an absolute shit show" Dustin sighs to Mike, as they both pick up their trays and head to the cafeteria exit.

"Yes, yes it is" Mike shakes his head, still not fully understanding what is going on.

#eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson #eddie the freak munson #fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson stranger things

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imisssparkling1989 · 6 months

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@taylorswift @taylornation

Screaming. Crying. Omg best TV album. Hi, it's me, Kelly, I'm the problem. I've been streaming 1989 TV since midnight and have officially soaked in all the prior songs and the vault songs. Gotta say, these vault songs are epic *chefs kiss*

I know I don't write on Tumblr much, but I hope you read my original Tumblr post on how important your music is. I am still without a job, but everyday I stream your music or have it on a vinyl playing <3 It help's during the tough days, which seem to be a bit more often lately.

Every time I see another 1989 baby conquering and succeeding the way you are it inspires me to follow my passions, but to also work hard on them too. I've just been so inspired and diving into my creativity.

Can we please talk about "Now That We Don't Talk Anymore" being a TOTAL ANTHEM!!! I have been screaming this song all day and when I hear the chorus I get chills. "I CANNOT BE YOUR FRIEND" ooooof such a line Taylor! Slay.

My dog Oliver LOVES your song "Is It Over Now" he loves the beats and perks his head side to side. I have to get it on a video lol. He also loves "Exile" and curls up next to me and lays his head on my laptop while it plays. He's a fan :)

Btw, that is another song I feel in my bones. Seeing your live surprise song performance of it broke me. Taylor you can't do that to us lol <3

Thank you for putting my 34 years of girlhood into words my whole life. I cannot believe I get to live in a time where you exist. Your songs are poetry, therapy, joy, and so much more. Music has always been my "thing" and your music has always been my favorite. It could also be because my horoscopes cancer, you know we love to be in our feelings LOL.

I remember during my hardest times you were releasing music when I happen to have been losing a family member (Reputation, Red TV, Folklore, Evermore). So many nights I put my airpods on and cried to sleep listening to your music. It sounds sad, but I promise you, without your music, I don't know where I'd be. Your music drowned my thoughts and allowed me to be in another world- even if it was just a short time.

Okay, back to streaming. I'm aiming to get into the top 0.1% on your Spotify because frankly I'm insulted I didn't make it and couldn't go to the ERA's movie premier hahahaha. BTW saw it on IMAX 3 times and danced the night away each time. My heart left full the last night in particular when a young group of girls ran to the front to sing and dance to "The Man." Imagine, I was a kid when I started listneing you. Now, I was looking at future Swifties and just knowing what a beautiful life they have ahead of them. They knew every song especially your earlier work. Magical. Byyyyye

"No, it's Becky."

#taylor swift #taylorswift #the eras tour #1989 taylor's version #1989 tv #taylor swift 1989 #folklore #midnights #reputation #swifties #red tv #1989 era #1989taylorswift

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obsessivelollipoplalala · 8 months

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I remember fics booming during long Sherlock hiatuses back in the day.

True, but tumblr was still extremely popular at this point. Not saying it's dead now, but the porn ban definitely had an impact. I also think the outrage at the writers (insane and idiotic as it was) kept it in the mainstream. Back in the 2010s my mom knew about the drama surrounding Moffatt/Gatiss and the queerbaiting allegations. She didn't even watch the show, she heard about it on Pinterest of all things. Hell, the only reason I watched the show was bc I saw a thread here in like 2013.

We have a few people who are mad at the ending of go2, but it's nothing compared to the hubbub around things like Sherlock or SPN. The internet thrives on discourse, so it's not as interesting to others outside the fandom.

There's also the matter of internet etiquette and how, over the years, fans have come to expect consistent content and pay authors little to no mind. But that is a whole 'nother can of worms. I expect the go2 fics will become more popular over time, and I hope the lack of engagement isn't too discouraging bc I do really enjoy what I've read so far.

Hmmm. Yeah, this reminds me of what I talked about like last week or so with all of the tumblr polls I've seen asking how long people have been on here saying that the vast majority of users have been here for at least a decade. Sherlock's prime definitely lined up with tumblr's prime (I only watched it because an irl friend was blogging about it on here lol). I didn't come here until 2013 and was pretty blissfully unaware of the discourse for about a year, but I have heard from other fans that the online fan situation around that show started to get nuts right after s2 in 2012. Outrage does drive engagement, whatever that may look like. I think the ending of Sherlock s2 was perfect material for fanfiction with everyone wanting to know how Sherlock survived the Fall and how John would react upon his return, too. There were soooo many Post-Reichenbach fics, it was an entire genre. And then with s3, there was a flood of fix-it fics with people's anger over Mary, and exploration of her villainy.

You're right, gomens s2 doesn't have that same effect because it's pretty obvious that this is being written like a classic love story and everything is going to be resolved in the third act. There's no mainstream backlash. The only people who are angry about it, from what I've seen, are people who apparently don't know how basic storytelling works and are really pissed at Aziraphale (that's another reason why people might not be reading fics tbh), and those big mad over the kiss because, "it's ruins ace rep" and blah blah blah. But those people are in the clear minority. Some people may not feel the need to read fic because they trust all will be well in the next season and they just have to wait. Basically, the source material satisfies them enough that they're not seeking out fic in the same way they were after s1's homoerotic ambiguity.

You're totally right that fans have gotten worse to content creators in recent years. They want a constant stream of free fic and art without having to, god forbid, hit a heart button or kudos button. I've been in fandom spaces for a long time and that's definitely worsened over time, although I'm lucky that some fans have been nice enough about my gomens fics to make art/translations/etc. But that's for my s1 stuff and I know that's certainly not the case for everyone's fics. I hope the lack of engagement isn't too discouraging, too, but I completely understand if it is for some people.

#I do think your mom is pretty exceptional #for hearing about the Sherlock backlash a decade ago on pinterest lmao #exceptional for older adults not on tumblr I mean #my mom is oblivious to all things fandom unless I tell her #replies

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ihopeyouhaveanicexmas · 11 months

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I feel like no one has been talking about this since vol.2 was released (pls tell me if they have), but it NEEDS to be addressed.

The whole sequence after the 2 day time jump is so.... weird? Something about it feels wrong and contradictory with the rest of the season.

Here are some examples of stuff that don't match up with what we had been told so far within the last episode:

• this is probably the biggest one. how did the gates close and open up again at the end (without the process of actually opening, it's like they were there all along)?

• how did they get out of the upside down?? ik most of us assumed they went through the gates, if so, then why don't they talk about the gates AT ALL, as if they were never created? most likely they were all so traumatised that once the portals closed up they decided to take a break before bracing themselves for a likely new attack from Vecna, besides maybe they thought he was dead or didn't think they would have this little time before he came back. but still, i find it suspicious that we didn't get a single comment on the gates. if the gates were still there, i would imagine they would talk about them and be caughtious, or even attempt to examine them/go near them. but this doesn't happen, because somehow they closed up (again, we DON'T SEE THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING so even if they are aware the gates aren't there anymore they would BE QUESTIONING EVERYTHING, NO?)

• El (and Will) being confused by the fact that Max could be at the hospital. Even if El kept her alive, her bones were still broken, so it would be expected that she would be at the hospital. IDK WHAT TO TELL U IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

• it doesn't play part in my (semi) theory, but in the hospital room i swear we see Max's mom for a split second. she is sitting on the chair next to Erica, we see her literally for a split second and it's on 1/3 of her body. it had to be her bc i think i see red hair. i assume she was sleeping and that's why she isn't doing anything, but in that case, wouldn't one of the ppl coming in spare a glance at her? and WHY would they hide her from us? why have her in the scene if she is being purposefully hiden?? she could have just not been in that scene. and they could have just showed us a brief moment of the camera starting from her, asleep on the one chair, to Erica on the next one, to Lucas. instead, when the scene starts, the camera pans from the oposite side to Lucas, from THE WALL. but i swear she is there, pls i need someone else to double check this so ik i'm not making stuff up.

• also, Lucas said Max was clinically dead when she was magically revived. being clinically dead means your BRAIN stops working, not just your heart, and it happens 5 minutes or so after the heart stops beating. ("if the brain dies, the body dies" being the oposite of how it actually works, with the amount of bio i understand, i could be VERY wrong tbh) So if El was keeping Max's heart beating then she wouldn't have been clinically dead. maybe that's why El can't find her consciousness? (just something to note)

Part of me keeps thinking that it was just the lazy writing since it's the end of a very long season, but i need to entertain the thought of it having more to it.

So if someone thinks of a different theory regarding these (or other weird stuff), please tag me (idk if that's possible lmao i barely know how tumblr works) or like rb so i can see it! i'm so interested to see what you guys come up with!!

Now for MY theory which could totally be proven wrong lol:

This involves different timelines basically. So this started from the first point i made, but it could also explain some of the other ones. What if the timeline before the time skip is a different timeline to the one after the time skip? That would explain the Hawkins crew not discussing the gates at all. So in this timeline (after the time jump, i'll call it timeline 2), it really was just an earthquake, the 4 big gates across Hawkins never opened up, they just got through the gate in Eddie's house to the real world like planned. idk if the timelines can affect one another, but if Vecna is meddling with time, somehow maybe the earthquake in timeline 2 happened BECAUSE of the gates opening in timeline 1. ALSO. about Max, maybe El's void is timeless and she can tap into different timelines but she doesn't know it yet, so El from timeline 2 is the El who was in the mind fight, but Max was actually Max from timeline 1, in which the Hawkins crew was in. So in this scenario, the Cali/Nevada plot and possibly the Rushian plot could be taking place in timeline 2, while the Hawkins plot in timeline 1, until the time jump, so after it it's timeline 2 in Hawkins. ik this probably makes no sense and would need way more thinking to check if it's actually plausible, but i think i'll put a pin to it and just pass my thoughts around for the time being.

If u read all this, thank you!!!!

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things theory

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pengemis-receh · 1 year

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Ramadhan's over with my rants of Moon Knight!

...yeah i could make the title a bit more sense but I just want to release my thoughts so I could move on to something in peace.

Okay, where do I start? Oh yeah, I genuinely don't know a damn thing about this series. I watched a little clip last year when it was aired on my television—that bathroom scene—and instantly pinned to my brain for 'need to watch' list. But shamefully, either I forgot or didn't have much time to do so.

I dunno I am a bit tired to watch mcu related shows after endgame. No, scratch that, spiderman: FFH(because TASM casts were back). I usually watched TV shows in jumbled episodes and then I moved on. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it, but most of them didn't get my interest (I'm a fan of Hawkeye but didn't managed to finished it) and the last two years was a bit hectic for my college.

Gladly, this year I have more free time during Eid's Holiday so I finally take my time to watch and ... oh boy i didn't regret a single of it.

It almost felt like a nostalgic trip to the first Iron-man. Fresh from any cameos within mcu in which I surprisingly late to notice this after the show. Saving the budget for their own show is more important than forcing to add any related mcu cameos into the series. It is brave and clever decision imo.

Also I love this kind of show, showcasing multiple alter-egos of the person is one my fav theme. One of my fav shows were 'Split' and 'Do No Harm'. There's also the Iconic story of 'The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde'. I also watched the documentary with one of them is 'The Monster Inside: The 24 Faces of Billy Milligan' from netflix.

The way media portraying DID in my view usually divided into 2 ver:

- Either Battling each alters in which who owns the body till the end.

- Or chattering each other like people with schizophrenia.

In which I don't know if it's well portrayed enough but most analysis video from phycologist expert youtubers usually hate the way media showed it...until moon knight, like for example this and that.

I myself once suffered as an autism with schizophrenia that almost having the same experience like Steven did the whole time. It was so bad that my mother actually invited me to the phycologist and did ruqyah method(a soul cleansing method by muslim community). So I kinda have a basic knowledge with that disorder.

ehem.

Huge kudos to Oscar Isaac playing his characters so flawlessly. And again I regret knowing him later after I watched the credits on the last episode because of my stereotype of him with his beard lmaoo XD

Goddamn his acting is superb! The way he differentiates his eye movements and body languages between Marc, Steven, even with Khonsu for a little time was really fascinating to watch. Look him in the eye at the moment and he could show you which alter he's doing without speak.

Like for real, I genuinely don't know about his alters let alone the third one at the mid-scene credits. My first initial thoughts was: "Huh... a new actor I guess...?"

....

*check goggle

*check tumblr

...

"HOLY SHIT THAT'S OSCAR TOO???!!!" O.o

Ugh I couldn't remember how many times I rewind in each scene, frame by frame. Always interesting to analyze what makes them distinguished between each other and learn something new every day. :D

Interestingly, May Calamawy should get the same praise tho. Their chemistry as a power couple developed beautifully well throughout the series. Being able to represent well that there will be a person who actually understand and help unstable person in need is fairly rare these days. Therefor, when she actually got her power, it's felt so rewarded. Also can we talk how good she acted that specific scene in ep 6?? :3

Ethan Hawke performance as a cult leader is also perfect. If Oscar's strongest suit was his face language, Hawke's strongest suit will be his speaking technique. You can almost indulged by his voice into his cult and It's scary lol.

somehow reminds me of Ralph Fiennes' perfomance of 'The Menu'

The visual effects...hm...might be not the best tbf. And I think this is one the series who has less vfx's scene. I can see they trying to maximizing their budget and focusing on what they need to add, and I think it's fair. I always love Oscar's summoned the suit moment(oh the details with the eyes...) and the gods really nice to look at.

Oh I forgot, kudos to Mohammed Diab showcasing a proper panoramic scenes of Egypt. Yes, finally! Less miserable yellow sand place but more of a beautiful dessert country for once. In fact it mostly built city within Cairo for the movie purpose speak a whole story. The crew knew exactly with their job and I loved every single of it(a bit sad they didn't get the permission to shoot in that country but I understand why).

Of course, not all of episodes are perfect, ep 3 and 6 are arguably the least one(whichever you might prefer the most). For me I choose the third one. Even though ep 6 is the shortest, that episode served it goal from the start. Where as ep 3, ...I dunno I kinda has love and hate relationship with it(?). It has my personal fav credits music, one of Marc & Steven's memorable moments. But...somehow the overall story and pacing are... not good. This is more like a filler episode...

I guess they wanted to use Gaspard Ulliel for future, but an unexpected sudden shift impacted the whole thing. I cannot blame them anyway so I'm genuinely fine with those minuses(RIP to the man btw. I love his acting in that episode)

But that's just me. I'm no expert, just a girl with opinions :/

The fight scenes were good though. Not much but when they did, they did right.

In back of my mind they will add those for the 2nd season. Clearly and brutally(like c'mon, the amount of blood from ep 1 yet slowly decreased until ep 6...surely they must be doing it on purpose, don't they?)

But nonetheless I can wait. As long as they confirmed with the tag 'season finale' and phase 5 road map.

Yeah I can wait :D

PS : I just don't get people thought Marc letting Harrow free is lazy writing or another usual hero antics 'that's the hero thing to do with mcu villain'.

Like I get it, at first I was surprised at that moment. But the second after he said, "Do it yourself" it just make sense. First and foremost, Marc's goal from the start of the series is to be free. Period.

He just didn't want to do that under Khonsu. Being just another slaver. Not only because Layla's reassurance imo.

Well I got satisfied in the end. Marc's vengeance was already been done by Jake and he's the perfect person to do that.

So it's still a win-win.

#moon knight #non smap / sonic things i want to rant about #huh... it's already 13th day of syawal and i post this now #I'm not that active on tumblr so bare with me #I don't want to speculate #I'm just a casual enthusiast who watched for some refreshment.#but i hope I want to see Jake's fight scene #or maybe Steven's brilliant negotiating skill i guess 😅

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immoralraigan · 2 years

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♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

salty mun saying salty things meme

So like-- I haven't had many terrible experiences with rp, I guess? maybe I'm just lucky. But the ones that did hit me were so catastrophic i may or may not have a bit of trauma connected to it.

The most notable one actually involved an entire ring of friends, who I thought at the time that I'd keep for the rest of my life. Together with them, we made up the entirety of a game's tumblr rp community at the time; it wasn't very big, honestly. ... OK, well I'll just come out and say it coz I don't think there's anyone left from that bygone era: it was the f f 9 rpc. We were tight. The whole group was welcoming to newcomers, and honestly I was super proud to be a part of it.

I won't deny that there was a black sheep or two; a couple people that actively caused drama, but I was never targeted by them, and the majority of us just tried to ignore them anyway.

(Actually yknow what I'm putting the rest of this under a readmore bc it's SUPER long)

Either way, things started to fall apart after a lot of the group got absorbed into playing f f 14... And uh... one by one activity in the group slowed to a stop. I felt like I was being left behind and decided to, yknow, try it out... not coz I was interested in 14, but coz like, I wanted to keep hanging out with my Friends, yknow-- not be forgotten and all.

I kind of hated it? Like, I absolutely despised f f 14? I hated being locked into doing dungeons, I hated the story, I hated the music and the art direction... I REALLY hated the battle system and the UI layout... and I especially hated that I was pouring time and money into this that I wasn't gonna get back. I was happy to still be with my friends, but the strain was showing between everyone even more than I had been noticing before. There was drama I hadn't been aware of going on that I wished I hadn't become privy to. They were becoming less of a friend group and more of a... mass of toxicity. In short, I was not having fun and I was wasting money and time on something that was only causing me stress.

A year & a half and $400+ later, I canceled my subscription. And no matter what any of them did, I would not do any more free trials or accept gift subscriptions-- I was that fed up with it.

I guess more in-fighting continued even after I had left. I stayed in the d iscord server, but I felt more and more forgotten over time, and I guess there was this one last argument between two people that just-- that was the final straw for me. So I left the d iscord without any further notice. I'm pretty sure nobody in that group minds that I'm gone, even to this day. I imagine they didn't like me for being so neutral about everything and unapologetically despising f f 14. I don't fault them for that. They're free to stand by their game.

It's not all bad though, I guess. I at least still have good memories of the many shenanigans we got up to in the rp days, and the old rp blog is still around-- though my own antics from that time makes me cringe now, lol. Either way. I don't blame anyone for any of what happened. I still care a lot about those people and hope they're doing well, no matter what path they chose in life. The only thing I've blamed in this story for the longest time is f f 14, namely for tearing them away from me and bringing out the worst in everyone. That and I guess I blame myself for having such flimsy constitution against these things.

Oh one last about all that drama-- the 'black sheep' people I mentioned about mid-post? They were at the center of the in-game f f 14 drama, from what I could gather. It was just typical... I guess they finally got to the group after all.

But yeah I guess that's less rp-related and more just... "hello time for your precious friend group to be torn apart" related.

#palidinus #ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅ's ɪᴍᴘᴇʀɪᴀʟ ᴛʜʀᴏɴᴇ　「　ooc 」#( story time ig lol #I have actually grown a lot from my stance on that game tho. it just took a lot of time to heal #who knew a videogame could be at the center of traumatic experiences lmao #but no nah i dont actually quite feel repulsed by it anymore. it's just like... a game after all )#( still makes me sad )

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w3ap0n-0f-mass-d1v1n1ty · 5 months

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Return of the Queen

Hey, hi, so um...I'm very new to tumblr and I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing yet but... I've been working on this fanfic of Stranger Things and since I know a lot of people post fanfics on here I thought I might give it whirl. I tried looking up other people's to see how this is done here but just ended up confusing myself lol!

I don't have a word count or a synopsis right now because it's literally all just written in my notepad and I have no idea where I'm gonna go with it but I've written two and a half chapters so far and I'm gonna post them individually :)

As far as warnings go, this is what I would put for this chapter:

-Mild swearing -Losing a parent/Death -Very mild smut

Chapter One Every rose has its thorn; just like every night has its dawn

Monday; March 3rd, 1986 - Hawkins, Indiana

Well this is just fantastic. It's March, with 2 1/2 months left in the semester, and I've somehow managed to land right back here - in the last place on Earth that I want to be...

Hawkins High School

Leave it to my family to just completely fall apart in the 9th inning of my entire childhood career. High School is a drag as it is without having to uproot yourself at the end of your SENIOR year and go back to where it all started. I would have been fine! I'm 17. I'm old enough to make it on my own for 3 months...but no. Dear old Daddy made sure if anything happened to him before I turned 18 that I would go stay with his sister, my aunt Debbie. So here I am; back in bumfuck Hawkins, Indiana. When I was a little girl, and up until we moved away, I loved this town. I was so mad when he made us move...but now I miss Chicago. I really fell in love with the city during my almost three years there with my Dad, living in a small apartment just outside of downtown. It was hard at first to get used to such a change, but that all went away when I realized how much easier it is to go to concerts when you live in a major U.S. city! At my first one, Def Leppard was the headliner. We moved to Chicago in November of 1983 - 10 months after the release of Pyromania, so they were on tour. It was AWESOME! Just over a year later, I somehow managed to convince my VERY protective father to let me go to the Metallica concert while they were on tour for their Ride the Lightning album. I was hooked. Goodbye, Hawkins; hellooooo Chicago!

...Or so I thought.

Winter in the Windy City can be rough. It's cold, icy, and it's a big city which means it comes with big-city problems. We made it through the first one alright...but the second one, not so much. On February 14th, a huge thunderstorm rolled in just after lunchtime and it didn't let up the whole rest of the day. The temperature was way below freezing and had been for a couple of days. The roads were frozen and so were the people, but Dad still had to work so we could stay afloat. He had been sick for about a week. It started out as a cold but it got worse and didn't go away. He left early in the morning to go to work at 104.7 WCLF Radio Station as part of their janitorial staff. He worked all day, sick as a dog, because he was determined to make sure I was taken care of. He got off work around 5:30 that evening, and started down to his 1965 Pontiac Tempest. At 18 years old and with very little routine care, it was a miracle the damn thing started at all. It took 30 minutes just to heat up a little, and that wasn't even enough to unfreeze the windshield. Dad was in a rush to get home. He should have waited, but he didn't. I was always telling him it was better to wait for the windshield to thaw than to end up in a wreck but he didn't listen. He cleared it as much as he could with his scraper and the sleeve of his coat, like he always did, and headed home. Problem was, it was still raining and it was still below freezing. Combine that with not being able to see out of your windshield and...well...

No more Valentine's Day for me I guess.

I moved in with my aunt right after the funeral, and she took care of setting all my Dad's remaining affairs in order. What little inheritance he had saved for me is in a safety deposit box until I officially turn 18. I miss my Dad. I rag on him a lot because of the decisions he's made...but he was my best friend and my biggest supporter. My Mom - a drifter that rolled into Hawkins for a summer - took off as soon as she could safely get rid of me. I'm not sure if I want to believe that she knew she wouldn't be able to care for me and just elected to give me the best chance with my Dad or if she just hated me that much, but either way...she wasn't a part of my life. It was just me and my Dad. His brother and his sister helped of course. Gramma was gone by the time I was 5. She smoked like a freightrain for 40 years, so no one was really suprised when she booked it out of here early. Uncle Roger moved away about a year or two before we did. He's somewhere in upstate New York with a fancy, uppity wife named Stefani. Yes, StefAWHni...not Stephanie. Whatever, man. You know?

Great...I'm late for English. I knew I should have skipped breakfast this morning. Oh well, Mrs. Gerta will get over it. She's only about a million years old...maybe I'll get lucky and she won't even notice me coming in. It could be a lot worse...I could have had to walk to school. I got lucky in that regard. My aunt's...boyfriend? I don't think she was ever married...anyway, her partner passed away about 6 months ago leaving her with his 1977 Maserati Kyalami and enough money to buy her dream car and pay off her house. She was gonna sell his car, but she didn't really want to. So when I came to stay, license in hand, she decided to let me drive the Maserati until I can afford to buy my own wheels. It's not too shabby...but it's no Firebird either. I am grateful to have something though. Dad had promised me the Tempest as soon as he could get a new car...I almost ralphed when he told me but I knew better than to be ungrateful for a car, even if it was a piece of junk. Of course, it was totaled in the wreck. So I would have had nothing if not for Jim's Maserati and my aunt's generosity. I open the heavy, wooden door as gingerly as possible, trying to slip in undetected but...

"Miss Morrison!" Ah, shit...she saw me. Mrs. Gerta's shrill voice gained the attention of every pair of eyes in the room. "Glad you've decided to grace us with your presence. I would have thought after a week at our school you'd know your way around. Please, take your seat and begin reading your copy of The Great Gatsby in silence with the rest of the class. There will be a quiz over the chapters you should have covered at the end of the hour." I fumbled over a half-assed apology and sat down in my seat as quickly as possible. I loved English, but nobody could take something you love and turn it into something so non-triumphant like Mrs. Gerta could. She made it her life's mission to compete with all the girls in her class for the boys' attention. Grody. She's old enough to be our great-grandmother... I shiver at the thought. I'd rather just sit this class out. After English is History with Coach Foreman, followed by a stimulating Latin class taught by Mr. Smith, then Biology with Mr. Kloeck, then - at long last - lunch. At least at lunch I can put on my headphones and block it all out. The noise, the people...the memories.

The first week of school was an absolute drag. New hallways, new locker locations and combinations, new teachers with new names and attitudes, and COMPLETELY different classes. I wasn't taking any of the classes I had been taking in Chicago because...guess what? Horrid Hawkins didn't have any. Literally. No art, no choir, no drama for starters. No honors classes, which I previously mentioned. This place is awful. It could be much worse though. At least most of the people that I knew from before are gone now - graduated - and most of the ones my age, thank God, just don't remember me. I was suprised at first - given that it's such a small town and usually small towns have a hard time forgetting things or people... but when I heard about all the stuff that's been going on around here over the past few years, I could see where there could be a general kind of "out of sight, out of mind" mass dementia. Honestly, half the stuff I've heard I don't even know if I can believe. It all sounds so bizarre... I thought people were pranking me at first, until I saw the display case full of memorials from students who had died or disappeared. How anyone stays here is beyond me. I guess most of them are just resistant to change. Most people that live in Hawkins have been here their entire lives. Change isn't something most people like, especially in a small town. I think I'll just stick to school and my aunt's house. Nothing weird happening there and I have all the niche hangout spots I could ask for.

I passed the "quiz" with flying colors. Of course, I'm used to Chicago teacher's tests and I'd read The Great Gatsby once before...as a Freshman. Yeah, in Chicago I took the Honors classes - the ones Hawkins does not offer. So I'm in with the rest of the "normal" people and rereading this awful, depressing book. I mean, really...who wants to read about some guy going to all that trouble to get the girl, just to not get the girl? Gag me with a spoon! Besides, I'm not big into the mushy romance stuff anyway. History was a snooze-o-rama, but it's easy enough to get through. Biology is almost always intriguing, even if Mr. Kloeck is the biggest lame-o I've ever seen. Latin is harder. I won't say I didn't doze off a time or two. I probably would have slept through the whole class, but the kid that sits next to me - a freshman named Dustin - is hilarious! He does a good job of keeping me entertained when I can keep my eyes open. Today, he asked me about the ornate black, silver and ruby ring that I wear on a chain around my neck - which I immediately tucked into my shirt and declined to answer. He didn't bug me about it, thankfully, and then he started going on about his D&D club "Hellfire". He's so nerdy and cute in a little-brother kind of way. Once he gets talking about something he likes, he could go on and on for the entire class; which is great for me because I'm not much of a talker, so it's nice to have conversation with someone who just lets me listen. I love Dungeons & Dragons. I used to play all the time as a freshman with my own group... but I wasn't about to let him know that. No, sir. The less attached I get to people here, the better. As soon as I graduate, it's back to Chicago.

The rest of the day went by without a hitch. Lunch actually wasn't bad today. I sat in the back corner table like I always do and they were serving steak fingers with mashed potatoes and gravy and those delicious hot rolls that I love. I don't know how they make them but my GOSH they're good! After lunch, I have Algebra with Miss Schwitz. Lame. Then I get to play Library Aide for Ms. Rice which I absolutely adore. It's quiet, I get to listen to music, AND I get to read. I don't get bothered much in there because not many people really come in. It's most triumphant. Then I end the day in shop with Mr. Hendricks. It's not too bad. I like learning all the stuff in there because it helps me feel more independent - like I can take care of myself. You know? After all the crap I've been through, I don't ever want to have to depend on anyone again...

#fanfiction #female reader #stranger things #hawkins #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #dustin henderson #chapter one #fanfic #fanfics #fanfic writing #heterosexual

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witchofthevale · 6 months

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You don't know why people send hate? Because they want to make others mad. On Twitter, if 1 year ago you said you were team green, you'd have 20+ people calling you slurs just because of it. For your preference, opinion, taste that DOESN'T HURT anyone. It happened on Tumblr too. Ask greenies and they'll tekk you. So why people can't mind their own business and stop willingly search for certain tags to see people expressing their opinion only for them to go full rampage mode because soemone expressed different preference? hotd fandom is the most toxic fandom I've ever been so whole idea of fandom being escapism, safe space to enjoy something is wishful thinking at this point. Why is that? 2 teams on the narrative of the show which would make people pick one side over another + polarising portrayal of team Black and team Green which speaks to black and white us against them way of thinking + general audience's age + immaturity of majority of people in this fandom. Sorry but this fandom was doomed from the start. What I mean is better for peace of mind to have smaller group of people to interact with when you know no one will attack you because your opinions are the same than try to make friends with people who might insult you whenever they want because your tastes are sometimes different. The truth is if someone wants to send hate their excuse could be anything you said. Now people are throwing slurs or rape/murder/anything apologist without understanding what it means. Our past in this fandom is different. Doing things for my mental health is my top priority. I don't know why you assume I've blocked 90% of fandom when it's maybe 50% but I guess after getting death threats I don't care about being liked by everyone. What I won't accept is behaving like a 3 years old just because I don't like Rhae Rhae and throwing a tantrum rectifying all kinds of slurs. It's good no one attacked you before. You're lucky because it's rare in this fandom on here or Twitter. I hope you won't deal with immature people sending you death threats and insults because you don't like x character. You still are enthusiastic about this fandom and I hope you won't have people attacking you when season 2 airs. I wish I was as enthusiastic though.

Damn ok, I'm sorry if I come off as flouncy or as if I didn't care about all the toxicity in the fandom. I'm usually not so careless, but I guess replying at 3am with melatonin pills already kicking in had been my fault.

First off, I do know why people send hate. I went off on it as more the energy you have to bring up to purposefully be an asshole and not have the guts to even put on a face or a name to. Out of all the mindful things you do in your day to day, sending someone a nasty, fucked up message as if nobody taught you any manners, is the most mind boggling. To me at least.

Im also sorry that your experience has been horrible since the start, I guess since this has been my fourth fandom I've actively joined in— written for, made an account for — I've learned which energy I devote to as out of all the fandoms I've been, this definitely takes the cake as the most toxic. I've been aware of how toxic this fandom is since last year, my best friend having been a devoted ASOIAF fan who read F&B like the bible (lol), she's exposed the gory bits of the team green vs team black discourse to me. Neither of us have engaged and I almost didn't watch the show because of that (and how much she ranted about the many changes, foremost, the mess of the ages).

Blocking is one hundred percent better for your mental health if you've had this much of a horrible experience, especially if you're keen to stay. It's truly the only way you'll survive through it. I don't block others based on not sharing the same opinions as I do , but I have blocked some who not only don't share my opinions, but say it in an aggressively ugly way.

Dunno if I've missed anymore points, I can tell this is important for you to explain to me so I wanted to reply as fast as I can. I'll be too busy the rest of the day otherwise. If I've missed anymore, please feel free to tell me.

I guess I didn't realize this was such a heavy topic for you as I felt the earlier one was sent pretty out of the blue as I didn't know where the reply initially came from, and I replied too lackadaisy.

#mail ღ #pigeon carrier: nons

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pseudodeepwords · 2 years

Text

thoughts from a head in the clouds

okay, context: i got a little d9 dab pen at the gas station and took too much and decided to document how i felt because it was crazy. here is what i wrote, unedited and in its entirety. please be merciful.

hi tomorrow morning aubrey its me 10 pm high aubrey

in case i dont remember:

took more hits than with haz previously and took some pretty big preheated hits and holy shit dude this is crazy

i wasnt sure if i was high before but i for sure am high as hfuck now i was gonna fix tha typo but i didnt feel like it. same for that one idc so idk if im gonna fully remember this but uh

vision kinda goes in and out in a groovy wave pattern. very 70s fashion inspired stuff

everything is going in and out a little bit. like sea spray on glass. oceanic themes are also present elsewhere. if i try really hard i can make myself stop for a second before doing it again but i keep waving my torso around like im in a boat or a tube or something. like in galveston when the waves kept knocking me arounf or in kiowa that sumer with emma and caroline and i dont really know why but it's nit unkpleasant.

i care less about the typos right now but i promise im fixing some of them. most of them.

i realize i might pos this on my tumblr maybe and its gonna sound fake and crcinge and 2014 and thats okay becasue right now i think it;s really fun to documnet it. thats why i write. its for me. its almist never for anyone ekse and i dont give mysekf credit for it. it's beeen about seven minutes since i starged typing but it feels much longer. it's easiet to sto swayin gand things are almost back to normal speed. not really tho. kind of. lol

im sad haz isnt here. they would probably have been fun to talk to. im thinking about trips i didnt tell dad i was taking.

like the lake with haz a couple weeks ago when we got minecrafgt steve stuck in that pothole and those really nice okies had a tow strap theu used to save us and like that timw i told dad i was in austin and instaed i went with my friends i hadnt seen in two years to galveston so i could traste the ocean and the sea salk breeze for the very first time and even though it was galvy water and i got sick afterwards it was still the sea and i didn't sleep because i forgot my sleeping pills and i thought about will the whole time because i loved him so much and it hurt so bad but it was still better than being numb like i thought id be without him like i was without him that i let it go on too long and killed whatever else we coul have been.

like that time i told dad i was going with ally to abilene and it was her idea and we had a friend out there and i really went alone to see b for the first and so far onky time and even thouh it was miserably hot and i got so dehydrated i got a uti and we couldnt have as much evil sex as we wabted it was so good and i am so in love with him now but this time he does not love me back and i dont jnow if it scares me or not because the last two loved me back and still left so whats this gonna end jp being anhwaus but i dont care because i think i love him even though i feek like we dont know each other that much and im onkyt just now realixing that but i dont care i dont think, i think im reading too deeo unto my own insecurities and we just are what we are thats something sam would say and i trust him even though im still hurt but not realy

im still upset with sam but even more upset with mysle fbaout it. i cried about mom the ither day for the first time in a whike

am i a abd person? do i miss her> i think i do bit i can barely remember her. why wasnt i allowed to be a whole person

why did i always have to be alone

did i do it to myself

where did it get me?

it got me to kiowa and the worst sunburn of my life and it got me to galveston when i was supposed to be in austin esveot no i wasnt and my car needed an oil change but i didnt wanna get one so i was reliant on others for transportation and i remembered how much thar sucks because i want to be able to leave on my terms because god fucking knows i never have been afforded that kuxury before. it got me to abilene. it got me to will and sam abd fucking matthew and all that shit. i dont know if i regret any of it or all of it or none of it. i cant tell anymore if i think im in love with b or if i just need to be wanted. i tjink right this second im leaning towards tha latter but thats bc im emo and lonely. forgot how much distance sucks lol. someon e tected me

it was emmy from tinder. shes nice.

it feels like im a diver. water. remember this was about water,

i wish haz was here they could talk me through the emo patch i know it

i trust them so when they tell me i deserve love and knowin the wouldnt keep me around if they didnt love me in their own way i have to eblievve them theyre my best friend and id probably kill myself if they died bc i really could not live withougt them theyre maybe the only person i think has ever actually seen me or even come close to seeing me without leaving me theyre so importan to me haz i hope u read this if i post it on tumblr ur my platonic soulmateb my twin flame whateber the fuck idk how i would go on without u for real ur my eternal shoulder to cry on and u know me so wekk and care about me even when im a bitcbh ilysm

ally also i love u even when u are devious because of your occasionally unchecked mental illness ilysm

i forgot i was wearing a shirt bc the yellow light frin the screen on thsi white tank top looks like my sking lol

im gonna turn this smocsh video compilation on and tru to sleep lol see u in the nmorning sober me xoxo maybe we dont do that much along next time to avoid the esy mood shifys shawty

i love water i love my friends i love the people i love so much and i love being a diver in secret becuase its just for me and nothing else evr seems like it is. i do not deserve salll the bullshit i went throgu and i deserve to be happy. i hope i find that soon.

#mental illness #stream of consciousness #not an essay not poetry just hi thots

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