Today marks the one year anniversary of one of my favorite fics: Like Sand Between your Fingers by @eternalmomentss !!
What’s more romantic than traveling through time and space with your rival? No idea
Here’s a close up of their faces
This fic has rearranged my few brain cells in the best way possible (I want to go crazy over it, but maybe another day..) Anyways, this is a redraw of a drawing I made celebrating its finale!! (Before I actually had a proper blog lol) I hope you can notice improvement-
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SO. @r-2-peepoo WROTE ME A LITTLE BIRTHDAY GIFT FIC AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.
if you enjoy codywan and Obi-Wan being a silly creature guy then you will 100% enjoy this and it was made for you. please give it a read!!!
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
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i like refrain from commenting on this but its getting to a point where i see it daily so listen i cant think of a nice way to say this sorry 😭 but if this is you then with all love now is probably not the moment in your life to start going by a hebrew name and changing ur icon to a magen david on a pride flag and starting a blog called journeying-to-hashem. and i say this with love for you like i think people are too worried to say something in case theyre gatekeeping but the fact is this type of thing is going to seriously negatively impact any future experience you do have - or on the other equally valid hand make it very difficult for you to realise that this may not be the right step for you at this point in time.
if you genuinely feel that every rabbi you meet is "super bigoted and weird" then (without judging you bc idk you and maybe you are just surrounded by dozens of homophobic rabbis and there's nothing antisemitic at all behind this statement) it could be that... joining the community they represent is not right for you, even if only at this point in time in your current location, and your tumblr experience is giving you the warped impression that its all nonbinary people in trad-egal minyans which is not going to be the case in almost any irl community so you will feel let down by all of them which unfair to both yourself and them (i.e my first point)
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Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)
Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh
The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)
All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!
ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more
^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls
Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.
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so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe
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Yknow one thing I hate to do is compare mechas given they’re all pretty different even putting the clear influence a lot have on each other aside and I don’t like the idea that I’ve seen a lot of mecha fans subscribe to where “if you like this one show you HAVE to like these other ones” but this is less of a comparison thing especially because I’m not petty or anything since it’s just something I thought about:
Mazinger v Getter when it comes to their recognition tends to boggle my mind a bit. Since it feels like there are more dedicated Getter fans around that talk about it than Mazinger fans, but Mazinger is more recognizable to the point it gets more funded stuff than Getter.
I was thinking about this when I was watching Mazinkaiser, and I can’t confirm this but I found it interesting that it almost (felt) like this ova spawned out of Getter making a comeback before Mazinger did, since Armageddon came before and was massive hit, than was followed up with a game + shin vs neo by the time Mazinkaiser was made. Like they even got Armas art director to work on it and the studio doing it was Brains Base who made the getter OVAs.
And in terms of recently all the stuff with Grendizer, which I know was SUPPOSED to get another an anime way before this, is now finally getting something coincidentally after Getter Robo Arc. And everyone is already pointing out between the two Grendizer looks waaay better then Arc so it’s clear it has more money put into it, yet I wonder if Arc didn’t happen if they would bother to touch Grendizer since Arc was them also finally giving the Getter team who NEVER got to be in a anime- well, a anime. And now the most neglected pilot apart of Mazingers universe is getting his own show.
I understand why Mazinger is more known and funded since it was the first self piloted mecha and something Go Nagai, a man who arguably changed the industry a lot, made so his works are always gonna be rebooted for the sake of memory, where as Getter sorta lives in Nagai’s shadow sadly even if Ishikawa memory is respected, but I feel like almost Getter is the one to test if things will work and then they’ll see if they can do stuff with Mazinger again.
Or maybe it’s just two coincidences and we’re just going through a long coming mecha renaissance of older properties of the genre, but I’m still rotating it heavily.
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