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vampi-fixx · 1 year

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festivities

devilman crybaby | akira fudo x reader

summary: never trust a devilman during the holidays.

word count: 1.8k

tw/cw: 18+ only, akira is aged up to 21+, mentions of weight gain, phone sex (kind of??), unintentional voyeurism, miki is on the phone talking to you while y’all fuck, so many innuendos, akira is relentlessly horny and a simp

--author’s note: lmao i wrote this last year for christmas and never published it. here u go

“I have an idea,” Akira starts.

You spare him an over the-shoulder-glance. You’re bent over the bathroom sink, applying mascara, when he makes his presence known. Sauntering over to you, he cages you to the counter, his hips pressing against your back, his handd curling around your waist. “Fuck the party--let’s celebrate here instead.”

You send Akira an admonishing look in the mirror, and he meets your gaze with a cocky brow. “Seriously? You’re the one who said we’d go. Not to mention we haven’t seen the Makimuras in forever. It’d be rude if you didn’t show up.”

“You can hardly blame me,” he mutters. “What kind of number is this?” His fingers graze your thigh, where your the slip of your dress ends. Truly, it’s hardly enough fabric to be called a proper outfit. Miki was the one who suggested the two of you dress up, and even offered to buy the matching dresses. But you had to do a triple take once the package arrived.

Maybe it’s the extra pounds you packed on during the holidays, or Miki underestimating your measurements. Whatever it is, you’re certain the dress isn’t supposed to look this revealing on you. It hides nothing from the imagination, the red velvet fabric displaying your assets in such a way that you’re a certain you’d make their Christmas party a massive scandal just for showing up in it. You were planning on wearing tights beneath it, and perhaps a cardigan in an attempt to pretend you were somewhat modest in front of your soon-to-be in-laws.

“It’s… an outfit. Is it too much, you think?” you say distractedly, looking for your eyeliner.

Akira’s ever-wandering hand is not distracted, dipping beneath your dress between your thighs, and you hear him let out a low curse once he feels the thin strap of fabric you decided to wear underneath. You half-heartedly shoo his hand away, mumbling a not now, Akira.

In the mirror, you see him pout.

“I think it’s fine. But instead of us going... How about I be your Grinch and steal away Christmas instead?”

You snort, turning around to give him a wry look.

“You can hardly steal something I’m willing to give to you,” you tease.

His gaze darkens. He bites down on his lip, and you have to resist the urge to laugh. Akira is always so easy to rile up, to excite.

“What else would you be willing to give to me? Right now?” he asks. His hips grind into yours, and you jolt at the feeling of his burgeoning excitement.

You raise a brow. “Are you planning on letting me finish getting ready at least?”

His mouth crashing onto yours is his answer. It’s a greedy kiss, the kind Akira excels at, the kind that demands every measure of your attention. You melt against him, your hands curling into the wild locks of his hair, dislodging the silly Santa hat you’d asked him to wear.

“All I want for Christmas is you,” he groans once he breaks the kiss, close enough that you can see very clearly the desire written plainly on his face. “On every damn surface of this place.”

“Akira--”

“Preferably naked but…” He bites down on his lip, grinning smugly. Trailing a glance over you. “Red suits you, too.”

In the next moment, Akira hoists you onto the bathroom counter, sending your makeup and various products scattering. You have a half a mind to complain, but then his lips are on yours again, and every thought flies out the window. You whimper into the kiss, and he growls.

He departs from you suddenly, his gaze thick. “Tell me you want this,” he says hoarsely, swallowing rough. “If you don’t, we can still--the party--”

You wrap your legs around his back, drawing him closer. “Little too late for that, don’t you think,” you say breathlessly, feeling very much how much he wants to continue himself. He’s about to protest, when you place your finger on his lips. “If you make it quick, we can still make it on time.”

Akira raises a brow. “I will.” Akira’s hand undos his fly, dragging his already-hard cock from his pants. He angles your hips up, caging you into the space of your sink, his cock prodding your entrance, before he pauses. He reaches down, grabbing a bottle of lube from the cabinet, before drizzling a generous amount over his length before thinking better of it, and working some into you with his finger.

You bite your lip, tilting your head back. Dimly, you’re thankful that you’d restocked. While your makeout session left a damp spot between your thighs, Akira is certainly not a modest size, and you appreciated any ease that taking him could come with. When he inserts a second finger, scissoring slightly, and you say in a rush, just put it in already, Fudo, he lets out a short laugh.

But just as the tip of his cock breeches your entrance, your phone rings. The both of you still.

Akira glances down. “It’s Miki.”

You share a mutual expression of muted horror.

“Are you going to,” he stutters out. “What if it’s about the--”

“I… I’m a bit preoccupied right now,” you squeak out.

Or truly, about to be occupied, you think.

“Answer it.” Akira says finally, glancing back at the phone when it rings a second time. “It’s rude to leave your best friend in the dark.”

It takes you a few tries of fumbling with the phone, but you finally press answer.

“Hey, I hope it’s a good time to call!”

“N-Never better,” you say, attempting to keep your voice even, all too aware of the way Akira’s shoulders are shaking in his attempt to hold in his laughter. You smack his shoulder.

“Sorry for being so last minute. I know I told you you didn’t need to bring anything to the party, but Taro kind of burnt the cake! Do you think you could pick up dessert on the way here?”

“Yeah, no problem—f-fuck!” You yelp, the breath rushing out of you in a rush once Akira surges forward, sheathing himself inside you fully. He snickers, and you bite down on your lip to prevent any other sounds out of you at being filled with his hard, thick, throbbing length.

“Are you okay?” Miki asks worriedly.

“Y-yeah it’s just...” You shoot him a glare, daring him to continue. You swallow hard, blurting out the first excuse you can think of. “I-I hurt my back yesterday. I bent it weird.”

While that actually has happened before, you fail to mention that it occurred because Akira got a little too eager with positioning you. To this day, your coffee table is still wobbly.

“Oh no! I hope it’s not too bad.”

“Y-Yeah, it’s just--ah!--kind of sore, still. I’ve tried heat, b-but--mm--no dice.”

He’s trying to kill you, you swear. Akira’s gaze is trained intently on your reactions. His cock ruts against you, sliding out of you with a pop before he eases his way in. It’s already a struggle not to whine at the feel of how he stretches you to your absolute limit. You hope to god that Miki can’t hear the slight squelch of his cock entering you, aided by his lube and your slick.

“Be sure to try ice, too! Sometimes a combination of both helps. But huh… If your back is that bad, maybe you shouldn’t come?

“N-no that’s not what I meant—”

“It’s okay! To be honest, today isn’t the best day for the party anyways. Mom and Dad are stressing over a huge catering order that was just placed! Maybe sometime closer to Christmas would work better.”

“Yeah,” Akira interrupts. “I think that might work better for us, too.”

“Akira! I didn’t know you were there. You better take good care of them and their back.”

Akira’s eyes lock onto yours. He drags his cock out of you fully, and you have to bite back a moan. “I am. You know how (Y/N) is, Miki—they never know when to stop. I keep telling them they need rest—“ He slams back into you, and you inhale sharply. “And relaxation—“ he says, grinding his hips against yours. At this point your legs are shaking. “But...” he chuckles, the sound masking his breathlessness. Even he pauses to catch his breath a few beats too long.

“You know how stubborn they are. It’s like I have to pound it into them.” He grins wickedly at you. You smack his chest, your other hand clasped over your mouth, desperate not to make any noise that would arouse Miki’s suspicion.

“Well I’m glad they have you there, Akira. And (Y/N) please don’t feel bad! We can have a mini get-together another day,” she says, completely unaware of your predicament.

“S-Sounds good,” is all you can say, because Akira’s started doing a rocking motion with his hips and it’s taking all you can not to cry out. Even he seems to be struggling to muffle his voice, a few grunts slipping out of him. You hope to god your phone’s mic isn’t picking up on the smack of his balls against your ass, which are growing louder and louder.

When the call ends, Akira places your phone to the side, before lifting one of your legs over his shoulder. You yelp, but he leans forward, nearly bending you in half to pound into you. You grip the countertop, moaning shamelessly as Akira curses.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck—do you think she noticed?” He grits out.

“Oh g-god, please don’t ask that right now.”

“Ha,” Akira laughs. His fingers slip between your bodies, rubbing your clit furiously. You mewl out his name, trembling around him, and he pinches your nub. You jolt, your head falling back. Akira grunts, his head lowering to grunt into your neck, “Fuck, why are you so tight?”

His hand comes up to squeeze your breast, his hips near brutal in the way they smacking against yours. “I-I’m close,” he finally grunts out, “Where do you want it?”

“N-Not inside, please... the last thing I need is your cum dripping out of me after I’ve gotten ready.” You shiver at the thought. Whether it’s due to his Devilman physiology or not, Akira always cums a ridiculous amount. You’ll find remnants of it inside you hours after your last session.

It takes one more thrust before he pulls out of you, groaning out your name as he cums all over your dress, white streaks generously painting the velvet fabric. Then Akira’s slumping forward, catching himself from falling atop you. He’s panting heavily, his cheeks flushed.

“I... wow, you really went for it, huh,” you say breathlessly, glancing down at the mess he’s made of you. Akira chuckles, swiping a finger through one of the streaks of his spend, spreading it around.

“I don’t think we’re done yet. You could use more of that falling snow look,” he says, gesturing towards your ruined outfit.

By the end of it, Santa’s Sexy Helper is looking more like they made the naughty list.

#akira fudo x reader #akira x reader #devilman crybaby x reader #akira fudo smut #devilman crybaby smut #not sfw #tati writes

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floating-mid-air · 1 year

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Under The Mistletoe

Hi everyone! I've returned once again. Firstly, I want to say thank you for 200 hundred followers! It's crazy to think that someone as inconsistent as I am could reach 200 followers. So I've decided to do a little two hundred followers special! This is part one (of two lmao) of holiday-winter-themed fics. (The other one I have planned is a Goku x reader btw)

And thank you so much for your constant love and support. I never would've thought there'd be so many people who would actually enjoy my writing. I've been writing for practically my entire life, and I always get bored of the fandom I'm momentarily obsessed with, but I always seem to come back to this one. And I think it's because of all the kind words and support. And as always, my DM's/comments are always open if you have any comments, questions, or concerns.

Hey you! Yes you! Check out my Masterlist

Paring: Vegeta x F Reader

Rating: None

During this time of year, there's always one thing you know you can look forward to. And that's Bulma's yearly holiday party. You're not sure how she does it, but she seems to outdo herself every year. And even if the party wasn't extravagant, you'd still look forward to it. Because the most important thing to you is being around all of your closest friends, having all the people you love together for at least one day out of the year.

Usually, You'd be skipping, singing carols all the way to Bulma's. Nothing could ruin your good mood. But this year is different. This year you have the Grinch trailing behind you. You and Vegeta have been "together" for a while now. You've never defined your relationship, but you think you're dating? Nothing's ever clear with that man. And if you asked, you know you wouldn't get a clear answer. He'd probably just yell at you, calling you a "foolish woman."

With every step you take, your disdain for Vegeta's grumbling grows. Normally you can deal with his chronic complaining. You even tend to find it amusing, but not today. "Can you at least pretend to be happy?" You snap at him. It was bound to happen. It's a miracle that you lasted as long as you did.

"That would be a waste of my energy. Besides, my awful mood is your fault." Vegeta scoffs. "Dragging me to the blue-haired woman's absurd gathering.... with your idiotic friends."

"They're your friends too." You roll your eyes. He's sometimes just so infuriating.

"They are not my friends! I put up with Kakarot and those earthlings for your sake."

"You're such a killjoy." You sigh. You're not even sure why you keep bringing Vegeta to these events. The only thing it seems to do is ruin your day. "If you're going to keep acting like this. You can just hog the buffet table with Goku and then sulk in a corner of the room like you always do." You won't let Vegeta's crummy attitude bring you down any more than it already has. So you do the thing every responsible adult does in a healthy relationship. You ignore Vegeta the rest of the way to Bulma's place.

You finally get to your destination. You walk through the front door with Vegeta only a few steps behind. "You're here!" Bulma shouts, running over to you, throwing her arms around you. When she pulls away, her gaze lands on Vegeta, who is now standing beside you. "Vegeta." She rolls her eyes at him. It's no secret that the pair don't get along. Vegeta grunts, nodding his head. It's clear that's the best response she'll get. "Come on, the others are already here."

Bulma leads you further into her house, but you're stopped when Yamcha enters the hallway. "Bulma, can you tell--- Oh, hey, Y/N.... Vegeta." Before Bulma can scold him for not waiting in the main room like she asked, he speaks again. "Hey, look, Mistletoe." He wiggles his brows at you. You look at the ceiling to find the familiar green plant hovering above your head. You've always found mistletoe to be pretty. It's always perfectly tied together with a bow. "You know what that means."

"What are you going on about, you moron?" Vegeta furrows his brows at the taller man.

"When someone's standing under the mistletoe, you kiss them. It's just a fun holiday tradition." Bulma tells him.

Vegeta scoffs. "What an idiotic tradition. It's pathetic, even. Do humans really need an excuse to kiss their lovers?"

"Oh, come on, Vegeta. It's bad luck if you don't kiss her." Vegeta rolls his eyes at Yamcha's explanation. There's no such thing as luck. You work hard to succeed. "Well, fine, I guess I'll have to do it then."

Vegeta's head snaps toward him, his eyes narrowing. "Come near her, and I'll snap you in two!"

Yamcha holds up his hands defensively. "I was joking!" He shifts to move behind Bulma. "I don't have a death wish." He mumbles under his breath.

You turn to Vegeta, crossing your arms at him. "Oh, you can't be serious!" Vegeta shouts. "You'd let that neanderthal put his lips on you because you're standing under a stupid plant?"

"I'd let you kiss me under the mistletoe." You've never really thought about kissing your partner under the mistletoe before. It's not like you've chalked it up to be the most romantic holiday gesture of all time. But just for once, you wish Vegeta would go along with your "silly" human traditions.

"Well, that's not going to happen." He turns his head away from your gaze. "I'm not going to degrade myself like that."

You huff, puffing out your cheeks. "Fine. Forget it." Your face falls as you push past Yamcha and Bulma, walking away from Vegeta.

"Someone's in the doghouse," Yamcha mutters.

"Oh, come on, woman!" Vegeta shouts. "You can't seriously be upset over something so trivial?"

As the night goes on, it becomes clear to Vegeta that your annoyance with him wasn't just one of your temporary moods. You'd normally come over to him and pull him out of his solitude at these events. But right now, you refuse to meet his gaze. You won't even look in his general direction. Looks like Yamcha was finally right about something. Because Vegeta is definitely in your doghouse. If he knew something as stupid as refusing a small gesture of affection would upset you so much, he would've just done it before.

Vegeta huffs, swallowing what's left of his pride. You, a human woman, with your pathetic human emotions, have no right to have this much control over him. Vegeta strolls over to you, grabbing your wrist, pulling you up off the couch. "Vegeta!" You shout as he begins dragging you away. "What the hell? Where are you taking me!" You finally break free of his grip when you enter the hallway. "Why are we out here?"

He ignores you, placing his arms on your shoulders. He moves you a bit forward. "Stay there."

"Stop ordering me around! I'm not doing anything until you explain!"

He sighs. "You daft woman. Look up!" You shift your gaze up at the ceiling only to find the same green plant that was hovering over your head just hours ago.

"But I thought you think kissing under the mistletoe is stupid?"

"Oh, believe me, I do." He pauses, his cheeks flushing. "But it'll make you happy."

"Vegeta." Before you can get another word out, he places his lips on yours. His lips feel so warm, as they move softly against your own. This is nothing like your usual kisses. Rather than taking your breath away, he's settled for making your heart swell.

He pulls away, placing his forehead on yours. "Are you pleased?"

"One more." Your voice is barely audible, but Vegeta definitely heard you.

He smirks. "You're getting greedy." But he complies, teasingly brushing his lips against yours.

"Vegeta." You whine against his lips, causing him to chuckle. He decides to stop teasing you, firmly pressing his lips against yours. Your lips are like a drug to him. Every time he gets a taste, he just wants more. Maybe he's truly the greedy one? He pulls you closer, wanting to feel more of you. But before things can go any further, you pull away from him. "We... We need to stop." You pant, putting some space between you.

"You're usually the one begging me not to stop." He snorts.

"Vegeta!" Your face flushes. "L- Let's go back inside." You grab his hand, pulling him back to the party. Maybe this whole Mistletoe thing isn't so bad after all? In fact, Vegeta can see himself getting used to it. Think of all the opportunities he'll have to fluster you in the future.

#vegeta x reader #dragon ball x reader #dragon ball fanfiction

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libra-stellium · 4 months

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Visiting my Astrocartography Mars/MC line for a week

This is the description from astro.com which sounds like a great place to visit for me right now because I’m trying to either get promoted at my job or get a new job soon or both lol

For some reason people really hate their mars line???? All I kept seeing was people saying how horrible it was when they lived on it or visited it 😭😭 I was like damn I had great expectations! I only saw one short YT video saying how they love living on their mars line and have been more active physically and socially. I heard someone say that the second they got off the plane they were just angry lmao which is hilarious to me like you were just angry at nothing??? 🤣 and I also saw stuff about how aggressive men were and they hated it lol I don’t think the ones I saw said what their mars placement is and what aspects they have but honestly even if we had the same exact ones I think it may be about perspective and what you’re used to lol

I have my mars in Scorpio in 9H. I have Mars trine saturn in pisces and mars trine ascendant in pisces so no harsh aspects.

A general theme for this week was very mars like bc I did Knott’s Berry Farm, Disneyland and Universal and visited so lots of walking and action the entire week!

Sunday - literally at the plane doors when I landed in LA a male flight attendant pretend to grab my leftovers from my hands like “oh is that for me? Thank you so much!” 😂😂 I was like oh this is the aggressive men on the mars line! But I just joked back at him lol

Monday - I broke EIGHT nails!!!!! 😭😩 one was like 🙄 but by 4 I was telling my bestie “would you believe me if I told you another one is gone?” And she knew immediately that I was talking about my nails 🤣 none of them broke too far down so it wasn’t painful and I don’t think my mars line “made” then break lol I think they were weak and being held together by my nail polish so when I took it off bc it was chipped my nails were like “it’s time to let go” 😩 everyone was super nice so nothing else happened that day! I didn’t bring my work phone with me so who knows what was happening at work 🤷🏾‍♀️

Tuesday - i feel like there were some aggressive people throughout the day but not directed only at me lol bc it was the park workers at Disney just being like THIS IS A WALK WAY ONLY KEEP MOVING when we stopped to take pictures of the parade. I also found out that the shoes I wore the day before gave me a blister on the bottom of my toe which was so painful

Wednesday - I feel like this was the most mars line day tbh bc I got my period that morning and I did “surgery” on myself 😂 bc of where my blister was I had to pop it safely (TMI incoming) so I doordashed a first aid kit and a sewing kit and I sterilized the needle and drained the blister and it’s insane how the pain was gone right after that! Then I went to go visit the Observatory to see LA and the Hollywood sign and that was really cute but then a bee flew into my friend’s hair and she was freaking out and I’m allergic but I could see it so I had to do something so she didn’t get stung! I used my phone like a paddle and beat it out of her hair and it fell on the ledge in front of us and I pushed it off 😩 then we went to In-N-Out and some guy tried to take my order for his friend lol I was 7 and his friend was 12 and he was like oh I thought you said 12…..🙄 also on the day to the observatory I realized that I had a lot of requirements to fulfill before I could renew my bar license 💀 I deadass thought I just had to do the CLEs and pay but I have to find a mentor too?? 😩 so I was listening to the CLEs on the long car rides.

Thursday - Another Mars/MC day because I was listening to more CLEs during car rides and I looked up who I could email and ask to be my mentor! I was at universal that day and nothing major mars like happened lol and honestly idk why aggressive men was something that people emphasized bc they were all really nice to me 😂 even the Grinch! This girl did have an attitude towards me while we were watching a show bc we were standing there for 30 min and she shows up and tries to stand in front of me and I’m 4’11 and she was at least 5’5?? And she motioned for her bf to come stand in front of me too and he refused and told her to come back and she was brooding the rest of the show 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ After that our Lyft driver was so nice bc the app sent him to a different location than where the park told us to go get rides and he came and found us instead of canceling! 💕 and his car was so nice and smelled so good!

Friday - traveling day! Again dealing with really nice men 😂 bc I was in line for this place to get coffee and a pastry and the person skipped over me bc she couldn’t see me and the guy behind me was like “someone’s down here” 🤣🤣 and then later this other guy was just making small talk with me while we waited for our stuff lol but the cashier??? Who was a girl literally told me she wasn’t “spelling all that out” when I told her my name and spelled it out and she said I would have a nickname for the day 💀💀 my name is 5 letters long lmao she shortened it to 3? Like okay I guess?? 😂

Now I’m home and I checked my work phone and nothing happened while I was gone but today they sent an email congratulating the intern (who was there for 4 months and is still in law school) for accepting an attorney position in our office and I’ve been there for 2.5 years and it did make me feel some type of way bc 🤔🤔🤔 no one offered even after I got barred but they offered it to the person who hasn’t completed the degree yet and doesn’t have a bar license yet…?? I have been trying to get out so 😂 I’m not toooooo mad bc also that’s not the field of work I want to be doing long term but idk it’s the principle lol also I don’t remember which day but I saw something about the federal cost of living being increased for 2024 and I think fed govt employees get a pay increase bc of that?? I’m hoping that contractors like me do too!

Overall: Mars/MC line was a fun little time and productive trip! I feel like if you’re quick to anger I can see where you’d end up being really angry on your mars line but I just be looking at people in disbelief tryna figure out what possessed them to act like that towards me and then I just laugh and move on lol I didn’t like LA that much it was way too crowded for me omg but I’m not a fan of New York either and I feel like they’re similar 🤷🏾‍♀️ I would definitely go back and visit other parts of California tho!!

#astrology #astro #astro tumblr #learn astrology #astro community #astrocartography #mars mc line #pisces rising #libra stellium

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tojikai · 9 months

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it was the way i hoped for toji and then rubbed my hands cackling when my wish came true and then instantly started squealing and kicking my feet for me 🥹😈

i liked seeing gojo’s perspective and while i can see now what the mind process was i still felt like he’s so dense and egotistical. i felt a little bad but it lasted about 2 minutes and then said fuck it we ball not enough to root for him so he can choke 🥰🫶🏽

baby megs putting naohoemi (i know what i said in the first ask about her being nice to yui but i was trying to be positive lmao but i couldn’t do it after reading it a second time) in her place and toji dealing the finishing blow had me smiling like the grinch and me monologuing about giving that man the sloppiest toppiest guack guack 9000 at the house 😤🤣

when n**mi said we can all fix it together i said out loud “i think tf not you trick ass bitch” bc i’m just so tired of her lmao pls exit stage left and stop inserting yourself the martyr complex is irking me

also wanted to mention that toji having money and being a present dad is so heartwarming and i love that despite mamaguro there’s room in his heart for reader (fix you put me through it at the time lmao) and the sims are so cute 🥰 since i’m a woc (black) i already imagined yui to look like the sim except for my skin and hair texture so seeing it had me like kai, your mind ☺️ but also imagining braiding her hair and putting beads in them 🥹😭

me 🤝 kai = same brain

i am highkey rooting for toji bc despite maybe seeing him as ooc may be a thought for others some part of me likes to think that he could have had that in canonverse had things been different which is why the characterization feels right for me. he’s so sweet to reader but also nasty 🤪😂 and the kids get along too so i am heavily invested in that. also when it was mentioned reader wanted three kids she already has yui and if toji is endgame then megumi is added. would she want more kids even if she had one with toji? i also want to see megumi accidentally call reader mom (despite mothergate with “n***mi”) but at the same time have both megs and toji being shocked but liking the new dynamic since reader isn’t taking anyone’s spot or icing out others

now idk if you’re going to do an epilogue for sundered or a different piece set in the au (and honestly i’m just down for the ride either way) but the way you explore the family dynamics and reveal the psychological aspects just tickles my brain so i’d like to see yui’s thoughts and perspective and just her being mommy’s little angel menace to society and delivering the karma to both of them. whether its naomi and satoru and his mom being ripped a third buttcheck bc she’s over it or just her reading them all for filth bc she knows the truth

i think to make it easier for my thoughts on each chapter i will do separate ones with slight commentary that way i don’t spam your ask box lmao (meaning i will redo reviews on each chapter bc i genuinely love talking about the fics with you! you make it fun and also you don’t get annoyed when i’m constantly standing outside your askbox or when i’m cussing out the characters on main lmfao 😂💕

i also think that ill do it for the rest of the series i’ve read from you just bc i know you’re an author im comfortable with talking to and ive been around even before permanent mark despite that being the start of reaching out. i think it’ll be fun for me and maybe to you but honestly maybe its just bc i talk a lot lmao and that we both are down bad astronomically for toji. also off topic bc this was a review and turned into a platonic confession/appreciation post but i saw you are a leo and it made my heart feel full bc my mom is a leo too lmao

- paragraph/theory aka paratheory anon

that statement abt how you feel abt satoru is just the way i feel abt him whenever i write. i just start scolding him like im not the one making him say or do those things, it's funny when i think abt it now LMAO and toji being ooc JDKSLSL that's true😭 but for me, it's bc i headcanon him as being really good w kids and family stuff. his life in jjk's just ...not the right place to show that side of him and it makes me hurt for him so bad bc where is he gonna put that soft side now😭 i enjoy writing him like that, ngl. and yui's pov would be so interesting and cute😭 depending on how it'll end, it'd be fun to see what she thinks and how she acts abt it as she grows !! anwww omg yess im a leo, that made me feel warm, paratheory anon, thanks so much 🥺♥️ your asks are always great reads<33

#🍭—kaitalks #f: sundered

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seiya-starsniper · 3 months

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Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by the wonderful @4typercent 💖💖💖

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

Sasuke x Naruto lol. I absolutely LOVED this ship, wrote fic about, got into shipping wars, I was the absolutely worst kind of teenage obsessed with them ahahaha. I even met one of my longterm best friends though a Yahoo Groups ship forum for them aosidjaiod.

Now? I could care less lmaooooo. But I still hold fondness for the ship regardless.

Which ship would you consider your first one?

My first ship was definitely Mamoru x Usagi in Sailor Moon! I still love them to this day 💖

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

Yami x Yugi was the first ship I wrote for. I think. It may have also been Lena x Cloud from Zoids New Century, I am UNCLEAR on the details and my ff.net account is lost to time lmao.

The first one I ready was something Sailor Moon related I believe.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

Usagi x Mamoru from Sailor Moon, definitely.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

SO. DAMN. MUCH. AOSiasjdasidaiodasoidasdjiasdjs. I've almost never gone looking for it, it just found me. The last bout I ended up in I actually ended up actually went okay though! Way better of an experience than any other ship discourse I've gotten into by far.

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

I have plenty of NOTPs, none in my current fandom though! I just...there are some ships whose fandoms have ruined the ship for me, so I try very hard to avoid and/or block. Liberally.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

Dreamling! My beloved pet ship that I've written over 100k words (200k+ across all my Sandman ships) for and counting! 💖

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I mean...not really? I've always been a multi-shipper at heart, you are going to be hard pressed to find me a ship where that particular combination is the only one I'll accept. I love the idea of an OTP, I just don't have one lmao.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Not really, no. There's some fandoms I WISH I could get into, but either I didn't like the source material (sorry good omens fans, I tried twice D:) or I didn't really like the quality of fic in the fandom just due to characterization differences. But nothing I'm like upset I didn't get into before lol.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

Hmmmmm, can't think of one no.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Oh lord, yeah probably. Cannot think of any off the top of my head, but there were some weird ships back in the day.

What is your favourite crack ship?

Ooooooo! Great question. I'm currently trying to think of the most outlandish thing and all I can think of now is that Tony the Tiger x The Grinch fanfic! 🤣

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Probably Dreamling right now! That's mostly due to sheer volume compared to other Sandman ships though.

What do most of your ships have in common?

Feral 4 Feral, and/or Soft Idiots in Love. Sometimes both!

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

In a ship dynamic? When miscommunication is treated as something romantic, instead of something that needs to be worked on. Also when crossing clearly set boundaries is considered romantic.

In a ship fandom? There's too much to list, but I think the big one is when a ship fandom considers their ship "better" than the other ships in the fandom. Even the canon ship lmao. It just takes away the fun of shipping!

tagging: @softest-punk @bazzybelle @rriavian @aisalynn @five-and-dimes @kydrogendragon @athymelyreply @tj-dragonblade

#seiya gets tagged #tag game

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kaylakenobi · 2 years

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I did this a while ago with Marvel characters, but now I'm hyperfixated on Star Wars so here's this:

Star Wars characters as weird things my friends have said (can you tell who my favorite characters are lmao) :

Anakin: Let's trust fall off a cliff

Obi-Wan: I'll cheese grate your tongue.

Hera: Learn how to do a fourway!

Obi-Wan: Do you want to be a psychologist or a psychologist?

Anakin: You just said the same thing twice!

Zeb: The grinch doesn't even hurt ppl, he just takes away their joy.

Luke: I'm not racist, I eat cauliflower and broccoli.

Rey: I'm not trying to race you in my 2006 Toyota camry dude, I'm just trying to get home.

Fives: I will smack you out of that wheelchair.

Luke: Oml gay kind bars

Padme: I Gotta gaslight gatekeep girl boss my way through life

Ezra: Where is my other sock!- oh I'm wearing it.

Anakin: You just gotta follow the serotonin man

Luke: I'm gay and men are too headache for me.

Cody: I'll take the teeth the lord so foolishly decided to put in your mouth.

Anakin: I cant mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one boys

Ahsoka: For the LAST TIME I am a LESBIAN I'm not trying to steal you're boyfriend! He smells like doritos anyway.

Rex: I’m not jealous, Flavio, I’m GAY

Ezra: I just have this happy personality in this sad soul. It feels funky in a not snazzy way.

Echo: You can't delete your internet history from God.

Fives: Yes you can, ctrl + astaghfirulla

Obi-Wan: I have this very rare thing called common sense, a lot of people don't have it because I'm just better.

Caleb (child Kanan): Cannibalism is frowned upon in most countries.

Ahsoka: Why are the watermelon shaped like little caskets?

Anakin: Shut up, be grateful, and eat your dead people.

Kanan: I cant even raise a spider, how do you expect me to kill a child... wait

Padme: Omg Anakin, just bc you lost your hand doesn't mean you have to cut off your son's hand too.

(Yes my friend actually said that while we were watching Star Wars)

Omega: We can do left! Harry Styles will help us through it!

Han: You can't just kill your father omg.

Leia: Like okay you can have your lame hospital drama, I’ll have romance death and dragons.

Omega: I'm not crazy, I'm just extra. A material gorl.

Hunter: Besides tying her up idk how to hold a toddler

Han: I could never be a doctor bc my intrusive thoughts would be like, "Let them bleed out on the table." Or "Amputate the wrong limb."

Crosshair: Excuse me, it's a magical toothpick

Omega: Like it tries to be smart but the smart simply can't smart so the stupid is just rlly stupid

Tech: Was I on Aderall?

Fives: Dude, are you vaping right now?

Echo: *tearing up* It’s just chapstick man

Anakin: I want to sleep in a casket.

Obi-wan: What??

Anakin: They look comfy.

The bad batch: You're a phsycopath.

Crosshair: Thanks I was born in Florida.

Cody: I have new shoes.

Rex: Cool, I have depression

Sabine: I do not want the meat stick, I want to die!

Ezra: Then the itsy bitsy meat stick will execute you!

Anakin: Spiders deserve to burn in hell.

Ahsoka: But you're going to hell??

Anakin: Excuse me!?

Omega: He looks like a knock of Donny Jepp.

Hera: Do you mean Johnny Depp?

Omega: Same difference.

Palpatine: I steal children.

Anakin: At least you don’t have sex with them.

Anakin: ugh this song is like an orgasm for my ears

Wrecker: ew it smells gross

Tech: ofc it does we're in the middle of nowhere in Utah

Cody: *drives past cemetary* I cant believe people are dying to get in there. It just kills me.

Leia: Don't die because then we'll have to re-space the dance again.

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finniestoncrane · 2 years

Note

Would love to read a part two to the Penguin fic It's Only Make Believe

It's Only Make Believe: Part 2

Farrell!Penguin x Female!Reader, word count: 700 part one here ok can i be very honest? i thought this was total shit garbage and yet you guys liked it and i feel so...touched, like the grinch when his heart grew big lmao so HERE YOU GO my sweet beans 💜 also i can keep going with this if there's demand, i didn't want to make this way longer than the first chapter! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: angst, pining, lies, fake relationship

It was a mistake to tell the two of them. They were complete idiots after all, only useful to throw around as muscle and threats. Now, Oswald sat at his desk, head in hands, trying hard not to think about them accidentally bringing it up in conversation with her.

Hey the boss has got a crush on you. Yeah he’s just faking the marriage to get you to fall in love with him. Nah he told us himself! Oh yeah it’s a complete lie, ain’t no money in this for you.

“Hey, Mr. Cobblepot…or…Oswald? Or dear? I should come up with a pet name for you if we’re going to convince anyone that we’re married!”

You were never sure if it made him feel uncomfortable for you to reference the fact that you were now legally married, so you always tried to make a joke out of it. He never laughed though, but nerves kept you awkward.

“Ah, sweetheart you don’t gotta go to all that effort.”

“Nonsense! I said I’d help, and I’m nothing if not committed to the bit. How about…hmmm…well if I was really your wife, I think I’d probably call you Pengy, but that’s kinda dumb.”

He finally looked up from his work, slight smile on his face.

“No, I like that. Or…I mean…I could learn to tolerate that, if I was your husband that is.”

“But you are!”

Your warm smile brought one to his lips, not quite as open as yours, but at least he seemed to have perked up a bit.

“I suppose I should also probably get some work done too, though. Can’t get any special treatment just because I’m ‘sleeping with the boss’ huh?” You shot him a smile, trying to emphasise that you were joking, but his smile had faded. He cleared his throat, shuffling some papers on his desk as he avoided your gaze again.

“Yeah, you better do something at least.”

“Oh…Oz-Oswald-Mr. Cobblepot…I’m sorry if that was too…”

“Oh, it’s ok, it ain’t like that, sweetheart. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

You shuffled slowly over to his desk, perching on the edge across from him, hand resting on his forearm. He stared at it, following your wrist, your arm, up to your face, looking up at you with a strange emotion behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite place but would have sworn was something akin to deep lament.

“Tell me. I’m here for you. And not just as your pretend wife. As a friend.” You let your thumb draw across his jacket sleeve, back and forth, soothing him, hoping to get him to open up a bit.

“You know, Pengy.” He chuckled softly, leaning back in his chair, easing up slightly. “I’m so grateful for the opportunity, and for the job. I can’t even…it means a lot that you trust me. And…I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. You’re…different to how I thought you would be.”

“How so?”

“You’re sweeter.”

“Oh, you don’t know me well at all, sweetheart. I’m not sweet in the slightest. And to prove it, I’m gonna give you five seconds to get off this desk and start work on that pile of documents over there. Get to it.”

You rolled your eyes, sliding off the desk and walking over to collect the pile, moving to the door to leave for the desk in the hall where you were set up. But you stopped to turn to him.

“I think I do though know you well though. I don’t know…I thought someone so well-established, so charming and handsome might be completely full of himself, but you’re-”

“Handsome?”

You sat silently, looking at him, not sure what he wanted you to say in response.

“When was the last time you got those glasses checked?”

You giggled a little.

“You don’t think you’re handsome?”

“I absolutely do not. And forgive me, sweetheart, but I don’t believe for a second that you think so either.”

His self-effacing attitude was so endearing, such a sweet quality. It made him vulnerable, human. And as you left the office, you let your head stay around the door as you spoke, before disappearing off to get started on work.

“I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t think you were, Mr. Cobblepot.”

#q #penguin x you #finnie writes #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #batman fanfic #the batman 2022 #colin farrell penguin #oswald cobblepot x reader #oswald cobblepot x you

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someoneinjersey · 4 months

Note

11, 19, 21, 26 for the no good very bad horrible questions :^^))

(Just wanna hear you talk about ur pets lololol)

hellllllyeahbaby!

11: Do you like someone? Not any real actual person I've met lol. I don't encounter a lot of people and also I'm very picky and I've fallen into the trap of just thirsting after unattainable people because it's "safe". But like ... it also breaks my heart? But I also like ... use that as a form of self harm I think? LOL IM FUCKED UP. I do have a super handsome mutual that I'm always like haaaaay when he posts a selfie but yanno.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes. Absolutely yes even though everyone's like no don't do it you wouldn't be who you are today without those mistakes blah blah blah but absolutely 100% yes. I would be more outgoing, wouldn't give a shit, I'd spend more quality time with my grandparents, I'd see if maybe I could get my dad to chill or maybe not idk, I'd spend more time with my friend Lauran who passed when I was 12 and I'd call her back even though I didn't like talking on the phone. I'd ask Scott out on a date, very definitely flirt more with him in high school and if I couldn't go back that far I'd go back to the last time I saw him when he hugged me outside Wawa and I'd hold onto him so tightly, memorize his strength and his smell and his warmth on that cold morning before the sun came up and I'd make plans with him even if he was still going to die 8 months later.

That made me sad lmao but it's all true and from my Grinch heart.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? Tomorrow there will be panic cleaning and panic gift wrapping because Kate's aunt and uncle want to come over for a tiny pre-Christmas Christmas because Kate has to work on Actual Christmas so we'll do some gifts and we have to send our gifts for Kate's brother and sister in law and niece and nephew with said aunt and uncle for Actual Christmas. And the house is a nightmare cuz I can't keep up with housework and also FOUR PETS MAKE A LOTTA STUFF HAPPEN. Then Sunday I'll be probably just like ... hanging out and wrapping Kate's presents that I didn't already give her oops and likely playing Stardew Valley a bit and making some nonsense for dinner lol

26: What are you craving right now? I was craving a non-specific night night snack cuz it's 3 am and i can't go to sleep with a rumbly tumbly but we don't really have snacky things rn? So I ate two microwaved hot dogs YAY HEALTH. I do crave motivation and discipline and the doing of something creative too, does that count?

Also none of these are about pets LOL

#me #about me

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nasuversekinkmeme · 7 months

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Weekly Roundup: Prompts

Tsukihime

kohaku and shiki feeding/stuffing, can be as fluffy or dark as op would like

FSN

In a moment no one rarely sees, Medea mourns over what she did to her kids. Heracles, who happened to be passing by, offers a shoulder in comfort

would taiga & jaguarman throw hands on sight tho ?

FGO

Gore, Guda offers themselves up as sacrifices to the Aztec god of their choosing leading to some very gory fun

Gudako uses Barghest's washboard abs as a literal washboard.

gudao, oberon, and castoria have a sleepover! Castoria finds out what happens when you fall asleep first. (It does not matter what happens, such as face doodling, pranking, nothing, or outright somno, ANYTHING can happen to her. can be taken seriously or in a nonsensical way)

Autistic Ritsuka who really likes the texture of Vritra’s scales

Smut, Someone fucks Hessian’s headstump.

Someone, anyone, lesbian Salieri/Amadeus, make em women and make em kiss. Hell they can do anything i need some wlw in my life

Baoban Sith (accidentally or otherwise) calls Mash "father".

Smut, Ramas pissed: no one believes his Sita is the best! It's not his fault his wife is still not being able to be summoned despite his numerous attempts! So, in order to right this wrong, he obviously has to crossdress as his beloved and give the sloppiest head to anyone that asks

Smut, tsuna has always wanted to try out somnophilia. it takes a bit of convincing but kintoki is a loving boyfriend and eventually gives in to him. does it go how tsuna imagined???

This is gonna be so obvious LMAO, but I'd love to see anyone's take on feeder!Helena and feedee!Holmes, anything along those lines!

After some time, Kriemhild has accepted that her adopted son Schmidt has started dating and invites them over for family dinner. What she didn't expect is for him to show up with two people, both of whom seem to be bad influences on her son (Sieg×AstolfoxJeanne trouphle but honestly it can be anyone)

Any fandom

due to servants like Paul Bunyan, we know that a character doesn't have to actually exist to be summonable by the holy grail. They just need to have a large body of broadly accepted myths about them. Even if the character is one people know is complete fiction, if there's enough stories about them, it is possible to summon them. Ergo, I want to see what happens in a hypothetical Holy Grail War where some dumbass summons Superman.

Smut, I am in desperate need for maid girls getting bred by other girls, which part of the nasuverse you do is your call, though I'm more familiar with the Fate side of things.

Yknow what, we need more character/reader first, idc if they're sweet or smutty or downright nasty

I wanna see the crackficiest crackfic you can dream up out of the Nasuverse. Like aim for the level of Grinch/Tony the Tiger. The less there is to back up the pairing in canon, the better. Only rule: once you pick your pairing, do it entirely seriously. It can be fucked up or wholesome, you just have to treat it seriously.

The Boys are having a bbq and kintoki is making the extra effort to make mandricardo feel included and comfortable. What kintoki doesn't realise is that he's getting a little too touchy-feely with mandy, who now has to juggle his social anxiety with his growing desire to fuck this gorgeous hunk of a himbo

Samurai Remnant

Musashi accidentally let its slip that in a past universe she met some guy called Yoshinaka and is immediately jumped by Tomoe for more info

#weekly roundup

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wolveswithoutteeth · 4 months

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thursday work session

making my to-do list for tomorrow public for some extra accountability! i've been home for a week now and i've gotten more words on the page for the dissertation than i have all year (!).

it's amazing when habit tracking actually works lmao. it shouldn't really surprise me as this is how i've been diligent with reading this semester - the more i'm able to read every single day, the less i'm willing to break this habit (even if it means i'm just reading a singular page before bed). there's truly no greater motivator for me than a day streak that i'm too stubborn to break.

i've been in the habit of writing for about a week now (thanks to some v productive and diligent co-writing sessions!!) (with plenty of distractions and gossiping but also lots of timers curtesy of the flora app). it's amazing how even just taking a few minutes every night to jot down my close readings of a singular passage has helped me stay on track with this deadline.

anyways! today consisted of errands, babysitting (ft. a double feature of the grinch 2018), and editing for a friend. grading did not happen today, but i did squeeze in an outline for a dissertation paragraph!

i think i might be on my own for the rest of the year/winter break? here's my list for tomorrow so i don't lose this productivity streak:

morning errands with mom

finish my grades -> maybe wishful thinking but i have only 6 essays left

grade for r -> i want to get at least 10 more of these essays finished

finish para 1

finish para 2

finish para 3

read at least 10 pages of something. anything. hopefully 'poor things'.

#mine #will probs add to this throughout the day because i'm v sleepy rn and might be forgetting things

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mamamittens · 1 year

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How to Tell a Story (Try Again Next Year)

Day #3 of December Event 2022

Fandom: One Piece

Ship: N/A (Straw hat Crew)

Warnings: None except that this story is basically the Straw hats reacting to “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” by Dr. Suess. Obviously, neither Franky nor myself own this story.

Word Count: 2,696

@chandluretrainez

It's not quite what you asked for (I was halfway through before remembering that they were supposed to be making/offering changes to the story but it felt like sacrilege to change Dr. Suess lmao) , but hopefully you enjoy it anyway. If you have any changes you want made, let me know!

It took a whole year of planning for Franky to come up with a better story. Thinking back, his biggest mistake was trying to come up with one on the fly! It was a SUPER big mistake! His crew regularly handled the unexpected, after all. Every pause was just another opening for them to insert themselves—which lead to the second mistake!

Having his crew be in the story to begin with! He loved them, really he did, but inserting his crew was probably a bigger mistake than not having the story already prepared ahead of time. Story-telling was Usopp’s deal, and the young man was quite skilled in off-the-cuff ramblings. For a layman like Franky, he needed to be a little more prepared than that if he wanted to tell a Christmas story.

When he expressed this to Robin, she simply laughed softly with a mysterious smile and nodded encouragingly.

Franky deliberately ignored the amused look in her eyes.

This year!

This year’s story would be SUPER!

So Franky found himself with a captive audience again, just like last year. But this time he had the whole story prepared.

There was no way he could fail!

Definitely not nervous about the eyes of his crew fixed on him once more, Franky cleared his throat and began.

Every Who

Down in Who-ville

Liked Christmas a lot…

“Who-ville? Where’ that supposed to be? Where-island?” Nami asked, frowning as she almost reached for her maps.

“I don’t think it’s supposed to be real.” Brook replied, tilting his head to the side with a curious expression.

Franky magnanimously allowed the small chatter, knowing it was useless to try and stop any of them from talking.

At least his captain was quiet, staring into Franky with a focused expression as he tried to listen to where the story was going. Santa hat haphazardly placed over his straw hat.

But the Grinch,

Who lived just north of Who-ville,

Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

“Why does he hate Christmas? And the season?” Usopp frowned. “Is it cause it’s cold?”

“Maybe he’s bitter?” Sanji offered with a shrug. “And a shit cook.”

“Oh, like you?” Zoro tossed out, dodging the swift kick to his head with a grin.

“I’ll show you shitty, you shitty-moss head!”

“Boys. Franky’s trying to tell a story.” Robin saved Franky from trying to fruitlessly cut off the argument.

“Yeah! Maybe this time I’ll get to hear the whole thing if you guys shut up!” Usopp muttered.

Franky decided not to comment that it was Usopp’s fault he was interrupted this time.

“Didn’t you talk first?” Chopper asked.

“Sssshhhhhh!” Usopp hissed, completely ignoring the question.

Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.

It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

But I think the most likely reason of all

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Chopper gasped.

“That sounds like a heart condition! He should see a doctor about that! Oh!” Chopper bowed his head in apology. “Sorry!”

Franky smiled thankfully and continued.

But,

Whatever the reason,

His heart or his shoes,

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos.

Staring down from his cave with sour, Grinchy frown

At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

For he knew ever Who down in Who-ville beneath

Was busy now, handing a mistletoe wreath.

“And they’re handing their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer.

“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,

“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”

For,

Tomorrow he knew…

…All the Who girls and boys

Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

There’s one thing he hates! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

“Oh? It’s cause they’re loud? Why doesn’t he move?” Luffy asked.

“Maybe it’s a small island without any boats? Sometimes it’s hard to leave during winter months.” Nami offered quietly before Franky could continue.

Then the Who, young and old, would sit down for a feast.

And they’d feast! And they’d feast!

And they’d FEAST!

FEAST!

They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast

Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!

“Woah! That sound delicious! Sanji, can you make that?” Luffy shot up with excitement.

“… sure… what the hell is a ‘Who’?” Sanji asked in confusion.

Zoro, definitely just provoking Sanji, shook his head.

“Stupid perv doesn’t even know what a Who is.”

“Wouldn’t it be more like ‘who is a Who’?” Robin mused, much to Franky’s disappointment. “And what is a Who-roast-beast?”

Franky was starting to think there was no winning with his crew, but refused to give up.

And THEN

They’d do something

He liked least of all!

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,

Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Who would start singing!

Robin slipped a hand over Luffy’s mouth before he could ask and Franky nearly cried. If only Luffy was the only problem.

“Is it just the same song over and over again? I think I know why the Grinch hates this place.” Zoro mused with an air of satisfaction.

They’d sing! And they’d sing!

AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-sing,

The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!

“Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now!

“Fifty-three years? And he still hasn’t left yet? I think it’s his own fault at this point.” Nami muttered, receiving a round of mumbled agreement.

“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!

… But HOW?”

Then he got an idea!

An awful idea!

THE GRINCH

GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.

And he made a quick Santy Clause hat and a coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, “what a great Grinchy trick!”

“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”

“I guess no stupid idea isn’t worth repeating.” Sanji muttered, looking over at Luffy.

“All I need is a reindeer…”

Chopper puffed up until Robin settled a hand over his hat and laughed.

“Wait and see where this goes, Chopper.” Robin advised.

The Grinch looked around.

But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Grinch…?

No! The Grinch simply said,

“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”

So he called his dog, Mac. Then he took some red thread

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

“That is a dog. That doesn’t make it a reindeer. It’s still a dog.” Chopper muttered angrily.

“Better than an actual reindeer, though, right?” Usopp offered in consolation. Chopper puffed up mutinously before conceding.

“I suppose.” Franky was so glad he decided to make that SUPER change.

THEN

He loaded some bags

And some old empty sacks

On a ramshackle sleigh

And he hitched up old Max.

Then the Grinch said, “Giddup!”

And the sleigh started down

Towards the homes where the Who

Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.

All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.

Then he came to the first little house on the square.

“This is stop number one,” the old Grinchy Claus hissed

And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

“Is he going to rob the whole town of everything? Now that’s commitment.” Nami laughed in approval. “I’d just take the money.”

“And whatever isn’t nailed down.” Zoro hummed before getting his head smacked by Nami for his impertinence.

“Only if it was valuable!” Brook clarified before receiving his own smack.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.

But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue

Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.

“Three stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!

Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

And he stuffed them in his bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!

“Chimbley?” someone asked but Franky refused to pause and acknowledge the comment.

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos’ feast!

He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!

“What! He’s taking the food!? Hell no!” Luffy screeched, almost leaping up to his feet before the crew shoved him back down.

“It’s just a story, idiot!” Nami hissed. “Calm down! No one is stealing food here except for you!”

“Oh. Okay.” Luffy agreed cheerfully before settling back down again. Franky took that as a victory and powered through.

He was getting SUUUPPPER close to finishing!

There he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

“And NOW!” Grinned the Grinch, “I will stuff up the tree!”

And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove

When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!

Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

“Is he going to kill the kid? You’re story is getting pretty dark Franky.” Sanji muttered.

“There’s no way he’s killing a kid.” Usopp denied. Franky appreciated the confidence.

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter

Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.

She stared at the Grinch and said, “Santy Claus, why,

“Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”

“Oooh, right to the point, huh?” Nami asked in approval.

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

“Why, my sweet little tot.” the fake Santy Claus lied,

“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.

“So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.

“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”

“There’s no way she believed that! It’s so transparent! He’s literally cleaned out the whole house at this point!” Chopper proclaimed desperately.

“She’s two, Chopper. Little kids believe anything.” Usopp reminded him.

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head

And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,

HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing he took

Was the log for the fire!

Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old lair.

On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food

That he left in the house

Was a crumb that was too small even for a mouse.

Then

He did the same thing

To the other Whos’ houses

Leaving crumbs

Much too small

For the other Whos’ mouses!

“Wow. He literally robbed the whole town blind. Nice.”

“Nami!” Chopper whined, “That’s not a good thing!”

It was quarter past dawn…

All the Whos, still a-bed,

All the Whos, still a-snooze

When he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!

The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

The thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpet,

He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!

“Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!” he was grinch-ish-ly humming.

“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!

“Their mouths will hand open a minute or two

“Then the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!

“Wow. This guy is a monster.” Usopp commented. Nami was now frowning as her opinion changed somewhat.

“He’s not even going to sell it? Or keep it? He’s just tossing it out? What a jerk.” Nami huffed.

“What a waste of food!” Sanji agreed with a hiss.

“There’s no way that’s what’s going to happen.” Zoro sighed and rolled his eyes.

“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch,

“That I simply MUST hear!”

So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low. Then it started to grow…

“Wow. He literally made the whole town cry.” Sanji muttered.

“What a dick!” Luffy said.

“I must say, Franky, I didn’t think you’d tell such a dark story after insisting on trying again this year.” Brooks sighed. Franky huffed, feeling more heckled than even last year.

No faith! None at all!

Clicking his tongue, Franky wrote it all off as a wash.

“Fine, you finish it out then, Usopp! See how it’s SUPPPPEERR not dark!” Franky tossed the book he’d been reading. Usopp beamed and flipped through the pages, picking up where Franky left off.

Taking Franky’s seat as they switched, Usopp was quick to puff out his chest and begin animatedly narrating the story.

But the sound wasn’t sad!

Why this sound sounded merry!

It couldn’t be so!

But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Who-ville!

The Grinch popped his eyes!

Then he shook!

What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming!

IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

The crew listened in surprise as Robin and Brook pat Franky’s shoulders.

“Still better than last year. It was a good idea to have it written down already.” Robin consoled him somewhat successfully.

“Ah, but you simply can’t beat the charisma of a natural storyteller, can you?” Brook mused, missing the mark on reassuring Franky entirely.

Franky heaved with a sigh.

“No. I guess not.”

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

“It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.

“Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more!”

“Oh, what a sweet message, Franky.” Robin whispered. “I’m sorry you couldn’t tell the whole story yourself.”

And what happened then…?

“It’s alright, Robin. I guess I should be glad Usopp’s not changing anything.” Franky sighed.

Well… in Who-ville they say

That the Grinch’s small heart

Grew three sizes that day!

And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,

He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light

And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!

And he…

…HE HIMSELF…!

The Grinch carved the roast beast!

“Woah! Now I really want roast beast!” Luffy exclaimed as the crew began to stand up.

“I think we still have boar meat. I’ll see what I can do.” Sanji sighed.

Franky was still a bit dejected as he stood up himself, Usopp quickly giving him back the book.

“You did pretty good this year, Franky! It was nice to just tell a story without making up the details all by myself for once. Maybe next year you can write another and I’ll tell it?” Usopp offered, much to Franky’s surprise. “Yeah! We’ll make a whole thing with it! That should keep the interruptions down at least. You know how antsy everyone gets when they sit still for too long.”

Franky felt his eyes tears up.

So this year was a bust too but…

“That would be super, Usopp.”

He’d take it.

#one piece #straw hat crew #december event 2022 #one piece franky

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