#lizlistens

[eshabu33]

#lizlistens

[conscious-love]

lizlistens ~ Instagram

#lizlistens #Elizabeth Earnshaw #communication #healthy communication #effective communication #creating safety #emotional safety #coregulation #repairing ruptures #relationship ruptures #disagreement #arguing #healthy relationship #unhealthy relationship #conscious relationship #conscious couple #conscious partner #intentional relationship #evolved couple #dating advice #relationship advice #relationship #love #personal growth #personal development

[everythingstarstuff]

nstagram.com/lizlistens

[psych2go]

📸:  lizlistens

#psych2go community #fawning #self-neglect #mental health awareness

[corazon-tradicional]

The Four Horsemen

iG: lizlistens

After decades of researching thousands of couples, Dr John Gottman has some helpful findings that support couples in shifting their dynamics to create healthier and more fulfilling relationships. One of his findings is that couples that struggle over the long term use four communication habits that make connection difficult. When we recognize that we utilize these and bring awareness to them, then we can work towards communicating in a way that creates safety and connection, instead.

1. Criticism: the act of making your partner the problem.

2. Defensiveness: the act of refusing any responsibility

3. Stonewalling: the act of blocking communication

4. Contempt: The act of behaving with superiority

#relationships #communication #relationship communication #couples therapy #couples #therapy #marriage #healthy marriage #resources

[parentsnevertoldus]

Love in the Time of Corona: How to Apologize

Trust me, you’re gonna need this.

In light of current news and an ever-growing wave of shelter-in-place mandates, millions of people across the globe are stuck--stuck at home, with parents, with partners, with family. Even in quarantine COVID-19 is infectious, straining previously healthy relationships and not-so-healthy relationships alike. Now maybe more than ever, it is important to set and respect boundaries, to recognize when you’ve crossed them, and to facilitate trust after turmoil. In these uncertain times we can continue to do the inner work it takes to build the foundation for a better future for ourselves and society. 

So, when should you apologize? That’s easy! When you’ve:

Crossed someone’s boundaries 

You made a mistake

Or when you’ve become aware that someone was hurt by your actions (and you want them to stay in your life)

When shouldn’t you apologize? That’s... a little more complicated. In healthy relationships (romantic or otherwise), you should never feel compelled to apologize for existing or expressing or just being your damn self. Don’t apologize for:

Consuming necessary resources (i.e. food)

Asking for something you need or want

Asserting yourself

Putting yourself first

Being different

Disappointing other people

Choosing what’s best for you

Saying no without apology

Saying yes

Having and expressing your feelings

Having wants or needs

#Protip: If you have been socially conditioned to say “sorry” to seem more easy-going, less threatening, less opinionated, say “thank you” instead. Instead of being sorry for venting, be silly and express gratitude to have a friend with patience and good listening skills. 

How to Actually Apologize (when you’re ~actually~ sorry)

According to Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, CGT (@lizlistens on insta), there are seven steps to an apology, more or less. 

Listen to the impact: hear from the other person’s perspective. How did the experience make them think, feel, or act?

Withhold defensiveness. Remember that it is you both against the problem, not you both against each other.

Say that you’re sorry for whatever it is and be clear about what you understand the impact of your actions to be.

Focus on relieving their burden, NOT yours. Often we apologize to make ourselves feel better and relieve our own feelings of guilt. Keep the focus on the other person--you should be apologizing to help the other person move forward. Maybe this might relieve some of your emotional burden too. 

Empathize with the other person’s feelings. All feelings are valid! Would you feel the same way if you were in their shoes?

Request forgiveness, but recognize and respect that this will be on their own time regardless of what you want to happen.

Rebuild trust with your behavior. Ask them what you can do to make amends and gain their trust back. 

Quarantine is hard. Boundaries are hard. Apologies are hard. Relationships can be hard. We must remember to stay soft.

#therapy #self-therapy #apologies #apology #apologize #how to apologize #boundaries #sex ed #queer sex #queer sex ed #sex education #comprehensive sex ed #comprehensive sex education #COVID #COVID19 #coronavirus #sorry #sorry not sorry #relationships #healthy relationships

[ramyeonupdates]

source: lizlistens Ideas for connecting with your inner child

#inner child #toxic parents #healing #recovery #mental health #IG: join.a.groupchat

[5sosbitchfest]

So I just checked ashtons Instagram account and saw that hes following an account called lizlistens and her bio said shes "a couples therapist on a mission to help you have healthy relationships". Wonder if theres a specific reason for him to following that account?

I noticed that, too, Nonnie. We're just going to go with the assumption that he wants to keep his relationship with Calum nice and strong. How does that sound?

#ashton #calum #cashton #kirby

[sierratheory]

So I just checked ashtons Instagram account and saw that hes following an account called lizlistens and her bio said shes "a couples therapist on a mission to help you have healthy relationships". Wonder if theres a specific reason for him to be following that account?

I don’t think there is a specific reason for him to be following the account. It’s possible he’s following the account so he can change and become a better partner for the next girl he chooses to date. But I don’t think it has any relation to KayKay or anything like that. Seeing a couples therapist doesn’t necessarily have to be while in a relationship. You can see a therapist who specializes in certain things to grow that part of you.

#ask #anon #piper

[reynita9]

Source: @lizlistens on Instagram.

[nottinghamcounselling]

What #shame sounds like. #shamespiral #childshaming #toxicshame #moralising #comparison @lizlistens beautiful thank you .#mentalhealth #pychotherapy #counselling #counsellor #gedlingcounsellor #gedling #carltoncounselling #carltonhill #carlton #mapperleycounselling #mapperley #netherfieldcounsellor #netherfield #nottinghamcounselling #nottingham #ng4counselling #ng4 #elainebondcounselling (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbHsiVjs7Zt/?utm_medium=tumblr

#shame #shamespiral #childshaming #toxicshame #moralising #comparison #mentalhealth #pychotherapy #counselling #counsellor #gedlingcounsellor #gedling #carltoncounselling #carltonhill #carlton #mapperleycounselling #mapperley #netherfieldcounsellor #netherfield #nottinghamcounselling #nottingham #ng4counselling #ng4 #elainebondcounselling

[martinraadik]

Kui keegi jagab midagi haavatavat, siis eelkõige soovib ta olla kuulatud, mõistetud ja märgatud. Alles teisejärguline on kuulda sinu ideid. Sa isegi ei kvalifitseeru nõu andma, kui ei võta aega tema olukorda mõista. Vahel ei soovita kuulda soovitusi ja seda on vaja austada. Ha, rääkimine hõbe, kuulamine kuld :) Jagage mõtteid, mis see mõttekild tekitab 🙏 Credit @lizlistens (at Tallinn, Estonia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAURQ2fJYCt/?igshid=twkvawyz5u08

[conscious-love]

lizlistens ~ Instagram

#lizlistens #Elizabeth Earnshaw #relationship #love #breakup #heartbreak #moving on #strength #recovery #healing #self compassion #self respect #personal development #quotes

[rjack2136]

Reposting @lizlistens:⠀ ...⠀ "End of week check-in. Ask yourself or discuss with a friend, family member, or a partner. .⠀ Also, I’d like to know-⠀ 🌙How are you really?⠀ 🌙What was last week like for you?⠀ 🌙What do you need next week?" — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/2VXVt5h

#Instagram #IFTTT

[psych2go]

cr: lizlistens

#psych2go community

[everything-laura]

Absolutely loving this list of needs ❤️ . . #Repost @lizlistens ・・・ Consider some things you’ve criticized about your loved one. . Are you able to shift it into expressing a need instead? . Do any of the above fit? Are there other needs you can think of? . I criticized my husband this morning when he left without waking up our son first. But, what I really meant was “I needed you to help me and consider me”. . https://www.instagram.com/p/B-PoDkgATcL/?igshid=2t0j6xhenn57

#repost