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trendamonium · 30 days
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curiousview-blog · 3 years
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The weird old world of ‘soft drinks’
This is Part 19 of ‘How to stop drinking: A guide for normal people’. It’s a series in which I am sharing my reflections and tips on living, and staying sober, in a fun, honest, down-to-earth way to show that an alcohol-free life is possible. Previous chapters can be found below on www.samwarren.net
When I stopped drinking, I never really thought about what I would drink instead. But nothing could have prepared me for the utter drought of nice, non-alcoholic drinks that I would encounter in pubs, restaurants and clubs. This was in 2011, and although things have definitely improved since then (I’m writing this ten years later in 2021) it’s frankly still a bit shit in most of the places you’ll go on a night out with friends. Especially nightclubs.
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One of the reasons I didn't feel instantly well after quitting alcohol was because my sugar intake went through the roof. Pretty much the only alternative to an alcoholic drink in a pub or club is sugar laden fizzy pop or calorific fruit juice (which is a goddamn meal FFS!) unless you can bear to drink diet coke, or are happy to just drink water. And of course you’re not happy to just drink water… YOU WANT A FUCKING GIN AND TONIC. This makes the lack of appealing alternatives even more crushing to the newly sober human. As if this weren’t enough, there's the expense of the horrible things. Dear sweet Lord paying through the nose for a drink you don't want or need that won't even get you pissed!? Talk about rubbing salt in your still smarting sober scars.
One of the more obvious realisations I came to - quite quickly - was that I only wanted a soft drink when I was thirsty. Who knew, huh?! Sure, having something to hold at a party/ In a club/ at dinner is really really important, but as for actually drinking it because you want to? Well, you'll have had your fill after one or two, but your well meaning friends will continue to cajole you into 'having another'. When I was quite newly sober, I went to stay with heavy drinking friends who'd kindly bought in THREE bottles of non-alcoholic red wine, just for me. Which tasted disgusting. I barely managed to make it through three glasses… but even if it had been nice, I had no desire to drink 2.25 litres (half a builder's bucket) of slightly slimy, watered down grape juice, bless them. I’d have probably done the same in their shoes to be fair. I’m pleased to say that there are now some excellent no-alcohol, or de-alcoholised wines available in supermarkets, but sadly, almost no pubs or restaurants have them on the menu, which is pretty much exactly when you want them most. Even if they did, the fact remains that you don’t really want more than a couple of glasses of them, because there’s no alcohol in them whispering you into having another, and then another.
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The McGuigan Zero range (available in Tesco) is one I have especially been enjoying lately. 
The only effect of having drink after drink when you are sober is to fill your bladder, make you fat/ rot your teeth/ give you Type 2 diabetes. Sugary drinks are kids drinks. Alcoholics have battered adult palates - bitter ales, dry whites, robust reds, the acidic tang of gin, the throaty burn of vodka… And that, my friend, is when Lime and Soda Is your absolute saviour. I actually think Lime & Soda is the sober person’s superhero. Like the chickpea is to vegans… In some pubs it’s as cheap as 50p a pint, In others you'll be fleeced for as much as £2.50… But it's not too sweet, sparkles like fizz (buttery effervescence on the tongue, you know) and if you have it in a tall glass with ice and a slice, no-one will ever know it's not a G&T. Another good one is ginger beer - it has the kick of alcohol and leaves you feeling warm in your mouth. Take care though as it's often high in sugar, although that can be great for a buzz from time to time too.
But as I said at the start, things are getting better for non-drinkers. The world (well, the UK) seems to be slowly waking up to the fact that non-alcoholics still want the 'fun and treat' of something nice AND FUCKING GROWN UP to drink when we go out (nightclubs are a pathetically sad exception to this). There are now no-alcohol cocktails on lots of restaurant and bar menus - we'll leave aside the disparaging and ‘goody-two-shoes’ labels of 'mocktails' and 'virgins' to one side for now and just say thanks. I've also found bar-tenders are happy to whip you up a fruity creation off-piste if you ask. And there are coffee syrups If you're not feeling the fruit. The Dead Canary in Cardiff made me the most amazing concoction once - like a Brandy Alexander, creamy, chocolatey coffee with a dash of chilli for a kick. 
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Me at The Dead Canary in Cardiff, December 2016
Another kind barmaid in Piccadilly fashioned me a long delicious thing to die for that tasted of cherry bakewell and looked as beautiful as could be. My visit to a skyscraper restaurant Manhatta in New York was topped off with a lovely alcohol-free martini, and pretty much every pub now stocks at least one brand of no-alcohol lager - which is frankly so awesome that I have devoted a forthcoming chapter to the stuff, and other ways to ‘be in disguise’.
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My birthday ‘Martini’ at Manhatta in New York, March 2019
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sryimnotok · 3 years
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Recovery poetry. - the trifecta poet
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rawanduntethered · 4 years
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New tools
14 Feb 2020
For the past few days, I’ve tried things I’ve never tried before.
I’ve meditated to strange chanting. I’ve saved affirmations as wallpaper on my phone and checked them regularly. I’ve set alarm reminders to stop and breathe every hour. I’ve journaled my gratitude. I’ve drawn. I’ve had essential oil baths. I’ve held on tight to a string of beads when I've felt as though my insides are going to snap. I’ve leaned on the amazing people in various sober Facebook groups.
But the biggest thing of all is I HAVEN’T DRUNK ANY ALCOHOL. My biggest and baddest trigger is my trip home from work. I walk 20 minutes to my car, past a bottle shop. I drive 30 minutes past 3 bottle shops. And last night I had to pick my daughter up from circus. I had 30 minutes to kill, which would normally see me sculling wine or cider the whole time.
Last night, the angst I felt was so strong I swear I could see it manifested as a dark cloud in front of me. As I walked past the bottle shop I thought “Yup. I’m having an alcohol craving.” I clutched my string of beads tightly and moved my feet. As I drove past the bottle shops I thought “I’m having a craving for alcohol.” I listed out loud the sensations in my body. I surfed the feelings.
I got to the car park to collect my daughter and cried over my steering wheel. I yelled a bit. I collected my daughter and she gave me a big, warm, tender hug. She asked me how long I hadn’t had a drink for, then said she was proud of me. I made it through another day. I’m so grateful.
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nicklasandthecity · 4 years
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Humble! Greatful! Living! #sober #2yearsand2weeks #livingsober #soberlife #soberlifestyle #soberliving #serenity (på/i Västerås, Sweden) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8fCGPaD3_8/?igshid=k9n0x09ku0ud
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sobrietythings · 5 years
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Thought for the Day. Feb 1st
When we think about having a drink, we’re thinking of the kick we get out of drinking , the pleasure, the escape from boredom, the feeling of self-importance, and the companionship of other drinkers. What we don’t think of is the letdown, the hangover, the remorse, the waste of money, and the facing of another day. In other words, when we think about that first drink, we’re thinking of all the assets of drinking and none of the liabilities. What has drinking really got that we haven’t got in A.A? Do I believe that the liabilities of drinking outweigh the assets?
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kryszyak · 6 years
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#Happiness is not about where you’re going, or where you've been. It’s about what you’re doing right now.
#selflove #alwaysAlcoholFree #livingmybestlife #livingsober #lifeisgood #beinthemoment #fitness #fitnessmotivation (at Honolulu Club) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnxDA3JBSC0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=pacbyh2kikzj
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art2recovery-blog · 6 years
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I know it's been a few since I've posted anything but here's some #gesturedrawings I did in #medibangpaint on the #ipadpro ... #soberart #soberdrawing #soberartist #humanstudy #digitalart #art #drawing #livingsober #livingsobriety #livingrecovery .. (at Hall County, Georgia)
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keeping-accountable · 3 years
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my hesitancies & fears about sobriety...
As much as I know sobriety is the right next step for me, it has been hard for me to think of completely letting go of alcohol. This is probably why I have not been able to abstain for the past three (and counting) years. I say the past three years because it is during these years which I have been getting the “whispers”. You know, that internal nudge or voice guiding you in a certain direction. Yeah, those whispers. The whispers that Oprah and Mark Groves frequently talk about. Sobriety is not something you can be “one foot in, one foot out the door” with, which is where I am currently sitting.
The longest I have gone without alcohol is two (and a bit) consecutive months. That was back in 2020 when I turned twenty-seven. In 2021 so far, my longest has been twenty-three days, though I am presently on day one. For me, getting to the one month mark has always been the hardest and most trying time.
Today I was reading Laura McKowen’s book, We Are The Luckiest. Notably, it is the inspiration of this post, as in it she talked about getting all of her fears out about a life without alcohol on pen and paper. So here I am, text to post. 
In considering sobriety, the following are thoughts that make me second guess myself, hesitate and things that I believe I will miss or miss out on:
- No longer “going out for drinks” with my friends. 
- Possibly no longer being invited out by my friends, due to me not drinking. Therefore, a loss in social life, which I already have some existing insecurities about. 
- Loss of friends, in addition to a loss in social life. Funny enough I have such wonderful and deep connections with my friends that do not revolve around alcohol and I know those that matter would not go anywhere but still, I worry about this.
- Willingly missing out on events, parties, gatherings (etc) due to not being able to deal with, tolerate, or have patience for my non-sober friends while we are out. Therefore again, a loss in social life. 
- No longer getting together for “wine nights” with the girls. Even though I know it’s the connection that fosters these nights, not the alcohol. 
- I worry about bonding, and I guess connecting with people without alcohol. 
- Dating sober. Oh my gosh, dating. Dating in general is daunting to me, let alone sober. 
- Sober sex. Again, daunting. Though I can probably pinpoint this one to some work also needing to be done on my confidence and self-worth.
- No longer going on wine tours (funny enough, I have only ever been on one since becoming drinking age). 
- I am scared to experience my full range of emotions, which alcohol masks. Mainly the seemingly more dark and challenging ones. I am scared of things getting too dark, and me possibly not being able to crawl my way out of a dark place. Thus far in life, I have been able to keep myself at bay. 
- I am worried about being seen as “lame” or “boring”. 
- I am scared to potentially find myself in a situation where now that this one thing that I dislike about myself has been changed, I’m scared of realizing I just actually don’t like myself as a person. 
- I am sad to potentially never have another fun drunken night with the girls, and piece it together with them in the mornings. Though, many of them are now settling down, getting married and having children and those nights are extremely rare. I also have much more “bad” nights than these good ones that I find myself reminiscing about. Point is, I will miss the stories.
- I am fearful of not having anything to escape reality with at times. 
- I am sad to miss out on the odd day-drinking and patio drinking, two fond summertime memories for me. Though in retrospect, I know I can still be there, just sober. 
- I guess I am also scared about being “different” from everyone else, everyone who is a “normal” drinker. 
I guess I am just frustrated that I cannot be a “normal” person, a “normal” drinker. Alcohol just does not serve me, and I am not someone who should be a drinker though I wish I could be. 
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mrloofficial-blog · 6 years
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Continiuing The Vlog Video Shoot Lol Was Too Funny Much Love To Sky City Hotel Lol.... Was Fun As Fuck Lmao !!!!! #mrlo #djstarc #mrmc #deadlyrozechainz #deadlyrozelive #vlog #music #recordingsession #vlogger #hotel #suite #gobigorgohome #funny #artist #pastmemories #memories #producer #livingsober #kinda #artistoninstagram #composer #teamdrc #drc #skycity #ourlife #ourworldoursound #moretocome #followus #supportlocal #comingup (at Sky City Casino & Hotel)
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exploreucity · 4 years
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These big beautiful #labradorite babies are going up on the website today. AVAILABLE FOR SHIPPING OR PICKUP NOW 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Reposted from @xsoulohx #liveyourbestlife #shineyourlight #loa #dreamsbecomereality #spiritualgrowth #spiritualawakening #manifestingmydreams #thisisliving #soulgrowth #soberaf #alcoholfree #alcoholfreelife #sobermovement #soberlifestyle #livingsober #recovery #spiritualjourney #spiritualawakening #spiritualsobriety #yoga #crystalyoga #creative #yogisofcolor #community #bohostyle #adhdlife #blackownedbusiness #buyblack #smallbusiness #womenownedbusiness (at SOUL OH) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDE_rnjDKT3/?igshid=1did4pam3o8bo
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curiousview-blog · 3 years
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How to be a non-drinker: A guide for normal people
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Image credit: Tom Arnfeld, ‘Chrysalids & Wildthings’ festival 2017
I haven’t had a drink for ten years at the time I am posting this. That hardly seems possible after being so deeply in love with alcohol, my teenage sweetheart.  I started drinking when I was fourteen, and regularly got drunk until I was 41, with a couple of maternity leaves. Ten years! I’m beginning to forget I ever spent half my life drunk and that's why I am writing this. I don't want to forget all the joys of learning to live sober and all the less joyful things I went through in order to escape from drinking. Some were (are) big, some were (are) small, but almost all were unexpected. 
I’ve met quite a lot of people trying to quit drinking who are put off by the idea of joining a support group – but that was something I found vital to putting me on the path to an alcohol-free life. I began to wonder if I might offer some of the camaraderie, support and fun – yes fun – that I experienced there but in a written form. Because writing is what I do, and I like to think I do it quite nicely. I’d like these posts to be a warm hug, an encouraging grin and a two-finger salute to the world for anyone embarking on the (frankly terrifying) road to being sober. Something for normal people who haven’t suddenly morphed new born-again evangelical personas just because they have quit the booze. Normal people who are anxious about sober life, but who want to laugh about it too.
I stopped drinking on 7th March 2011 after waking with a hideous case of THE FEAR and a(nother) sickening hangover. I looked in the mirror. “Enough.” I’d seen this person in the mirror and said the same things countless times before, but this time was different. I didn’t feel alone in my resolve. I don’t want you to feel alone either and that’s why I’m writing to you. Sharing experiences, no matter whether  joyous or painful is what makes us social animals, and I know that without the relief of having support and community when I quit drinking for good, I wouldn’t have managed it. It was like falling into a huge, old squishy sofa. One of those creaky leather ones that manages to be incredibly soft but hardwearing and firm at the same time. 
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Over the coming weeks I will be sharing my reflections on becoming and living sober. It was three years ago that I first wrote these texts and they were intended for a book. Every day I got up, poured a mug of coffee and hand-wrote from my heart, in the dark, before anyone else was awake. I kept it a secret for a long while, too new and tender to deal with questions about whether the world needed yet another book on quitting alcohol. Since then, being sober has become more fashionable, Dry January is now a national institution, and Sober October has also appeared on the calendar. There are many more wonderful books, blogs and guides to living sober published now. Supermarket shelves and instagram adverts are filling with no-alcohol elixirs, and exciting options for the discerning non-drinker. Maybe one day these texts will make it to book form, but as that hasn’t happened yet, I decided to put them out there in the world because it feels like it’s time to do so. There are 28 articles all together and I’ll be posting one every Sunday, starting tomorrow - 7th March 2021 - my ten year sober birthday.
Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book ‘Big Magic’ says we should never create art to help others, but instead, express what we need to in order to help ourselves. If we try to do otherwise it just comes over as preachy and do-goodish and possibly quite judgey and I’m sure as an apprentice non-drinker you’ve already had your fill of people like that. So this writing is born from that place – my need to tell you my story and if it helps you too, then I’m delighted. I have a sneaky feeling it will, even if you don't agree with everything I say or see yourself in my experiences all the time, because sharing stories is the absolute best way to learn anything and feel part of something bigger than yourself in the process.
With love, and a nice cup of tea, 
Sam xx
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sobertribevibes · 4 years
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Just figuring out how to be me and it’s been an exciting ride! #livingonedayatatime 💎💫🌱 . . . #odaat #livingsober #liveyourbestlife #liveyourtruth #betterthanyesterday #empoweryourself #empoweringwomen #growthmindset #instagood #instaquotes #instaquote #quotes #quoteoftheday #quotestoliveby #quotestagram #beyourself #beyou #imokaywiththat #farfromperfect #me https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1_AN_DnBx/?igshid=1qoz799siviug
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keenerchicago · 6 years
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Dim Sum YUM! Furama Chicago #dimsum #dimsumyum #chinese #furama #chineserestaurant #myfave . . . #Day21 #sobriety #quitter #alcoholic #soberissexy #soberlife #sobermovement #hangoverfree #sobervibes #alcohol #nobooze #livingsober #onedayatatime #livingsoberlivingfree #gottadome #reallife #realme #smalltowngirlwithbigcitydreams #Chicago #Uptown #timetochange (at Furama Chicago)
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nicklasandthecity · 4 years
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På måndagar är det selfie time! Mm det är sen gammalt! #nicklasandthecity #blondeguy #blondegay #sweden #swedish #swedishguy #swedishgay #instagay #earpiece #greeneyes #greeneyedguy #sober #livingsober #soberlife #aa #2yearssober #nykterhet #sinnesro #serenity #freefromalcohol https://www.instagram.com/p/B89R3HuDoPx/?igshid=1xwsn46sj6ghj
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carriecarden · 6 years
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6 and a half years booze free feels so good. Praying for all still in the struggle. I know the holidays can be the hardest on alcoholics. Hold onto hope. Don't lose faith. And fight with everything you've got! It's SO worth it on the otherside. Let's start working on how we can make a change in the amount of people who are dying from addiction every day. I pray that number goes down instead of up in 2018 🙏 #livingsober #recovery #youcandoittoo #addictionawareness #hopeisreal
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