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acedia-blankly · 7 months

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SPOILERS FOR SHARP OBJECTS EPISODE ONE AND THE NOVEL/PLOT IN GENERAL BELOW THE ASTERISKS, WHICH ARE Y'KNOW, GILLIAN FLYNN TYPE SHIT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

****

This is a liveblog/reaction to sharp objects, the tv series not the book.

I've read the book several times over the years, most recently in a mental hospital after a breakdown. No, I don't know why on earth I was allowed to have it with me. I relate to Camille more than I'd like, excluding the murders and sexuality, which i suppose rather differentiates us. I rather feel like the metaphorical AC to her DC, so to speak.

Jesus, Camille's a wreck. A severe alcoholic sent to her hometown to sniff out a story of a serial killer whose snuffing out little girls and dumping them around town, with about a year between killing. First Ann Nash then Natalie Keene, and Camille sticks her nose in everything she can about the case. She badgers the cops, the families, everything and everyone she can, which causes more than a few arguments and a lot of strain with Adora, her mother and the employer of much of the town. I'll talk more about Camille in a bit, but first lets touch on her family, the people I found msot interesting in wind gap, starting with her wonderful mother.

Fuck, Adora's a miserable shrew of a woman. She reminds me of my aunt in how she needles, dresses, and wears her makeup in a similar manner. It's freaky, and not at all helped by the horrid way she treats Camille and Amma. Equal parts infantiziling and infuriating, her actions suggest a social diva who commands utter control of her home and social image. Everything from her picture-perfect house (mirrored in a certain dollhouse that Amma shows Camille) to the time capsule she's made of Marian's room screams "total control freak". She's still got the empty IV stand and doll dresses laid out like Marian's just stepped out for tea, rather than ashes.

Amma is... Well, we haven't really gotten much of a taste of her yet. I must've missed her in the crowd of teenagers that raided Natalie's shrine, but she was there, and later acts eerily possessive and close to Camille in what seems to be just a typical teenaged attmept to avoid punishment and look cool in front of an older sibling she doesn't know.

Alan was a surprise, since all I remember of him from the novel is a grey, unemotive man who let Adora run roughshod over everything. He's got a bit of a spine here, actually standing up to Adora a few times on minor arguments. Curious to see if he'll keep it up. Not a change I was expecting, but I could also be misremembering him.

Marian: for a dead girl, she sure takes pride of place in the story, a throbbing, aching wound that Camille tries and fails to treat with chemicals and years of avoidance. A sickly girl who died in her teens, we see flashbacks of her (dressed as a doll in contrast to her sister) ending with her funeral, where she's wearing a shade of pink lipstick that really doesn't fit her, which is as good a bridge as any to return to Camille.

Camille: if you've made it this far, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Camille is a woman one step away from the deep, and she clearly knows it. There's alcohol soaked all over her life like a bad stain, mostly absolut vodka, a cheap brand that many serial alcoholics drink, my family members included. Shit burns like fire goign down but she chugs a good sized plastic flask/bottle of it without flinching. Granted, Amy Adams was probably just drinking water on set, good considering how fucking hot sets get. She delivers a wonderful performance, showing Camille as the slowly burning train wreck of ptsd and chemical dependency she is, covered in scars.

Camille carves words into her skin much more legibly and widespread than I've ever managed, and I'm a human charcutierie board these days. Y'know that thing where shows put the title of episode into somehow? Yeah, Camille's got "Vanish" on her right forearm, the title of the first episode. We see her in the bath or shower a lot, actually, usually with her body submerged entirely. She also masturbates during a flashback to a weird lodge filled with porn and bloody strips of meat, at least that's what I think those were.

I haven't really touched on the mystery or the people of wind gap not related to Camille because they didn't really get my attention, but I took 3.5k worth of notes during episode one, and noticed the homophobia. The show really hits us over the head with the small town bigotry throughout the episode, from the bartender to the father of Ann Nash. I'd kinda forgotten about the level of homophobia, and was a bit startled by it.

Moving to the murders, we don't get any information about either body I think, just a shot of Natalie's dumped body, which, how does one dump a body of a teenaged girl in an alleyway in a small town and not be seen? Small towns are nosey as shit, I would know, I spent 13 years living in one. Natalie's mouth has a lot of blood coming from it, and she's pretty dirty, but has a bandage on her knee. Bit of an odd thing for a murderer to give her, but she might've had it before she got grabbed.

Overall rating for the episode: 4/5 stars so far, review may change after I finish the show. I intend on one episode a night. I enjoyed Camille and Amma's interactions, found the homophobia rightfully irritating and familiar (the joys of small-town America are not so different from Missouri to Indiana), but found the actual murders to be lacking in detail for now, which makes sense but is also frustrating. Camille is just a bit too familiar for my comfort, which is a theme with anything Flynn's made.

Her works are dark and slippery, rich with the quiet tensions of dysfunctional families and buried traumas that always come to light. Theres something comforting but revolting about it, like sitting down at a seedy bar and knowing the drinks are probably watered down, but accepting the rotten deal for what it is because it's the best you'll get here. Kinda like a family reunion, actually. But uh, I don't think the Crellin-Preaker bunch (now that would be a sitcom, huh?) Is the sterling example of family by any means. Still, I'm eager and afraid of the roller coaster to come. I'm not claiming to have perfectly watched this episode, nor did I exhaustively go through my notes for this (I'm not confirming whether or not I made quotes in Chicago format [the one True and Rightfully Used Format of Quotation, may all nonbelievers perish in the trenches of MLA and APA format] for fun. Cause only weirdos do that, right, and I'm all normal-like)

P.S. I apparently called Curry a "Santa-wannabe" in my notes. He kinda twisted and turned in my opinion, going from a dick to a nice guy and back again, but I enjoyed him as a character and want to see more. I can't say more for chief Vickery, the detective (whose name I managed to miss and I don't intend to look it up) or the bartender, all of whom have a machismo and swagger that clashes poorly with Camille in different ways. Vickery cares more about the town's reputation than potentially solving the murders, the detective is trying not to mix business with pleasure with Camille, and the bartender is typical small town trash, gleefully hateful and all too happy to share that he's illegally serving beers to Natalie's brother, which the detective ignores as well, for some reason. Most likely to avoid the town turning on him. One doesn't fuck with the guys who give out the alcohol.

#liveblog #sharp objects #spoilers #sharp objects spoilers #canon typical topics #marking this mature and calling it good tag wise #ya know what yer in for #or google is free #theres lotsa trigger warning list sites out there #ya gotta curate your own online experience

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dragonfruitsoup · 3 years

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SHIKATEMA IS THE ONLY VALID SHIP! THE ONLY ONE!!

#shikatema #the official unofficial couple #best boy!! and best girl!!#little badger liveblogs #fandom time

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baoshan-sanren · 3 years

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handsome siblings ep 27 liveblog

you can’t trust the disciple of the ten great villains

says the villain

awww wuque is defending xiaoyu’er now this is the sort of brotherly shit i live for

“why don’t we ask tie zhan?”

TIE ZHAN IS HERE

SOMEONE BRUSHED HIS HAIR BLESS

the dramatic close-ups are fucking killing me

oh man this poor dude

he did not have a good decade

OH MAN THEY REALLY WENT ALL OUT WITH THIS PLAN

was this wuque’s plan? my son is pretty AND smart

REALLY

YOU’RE GONNA TRY AND TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS??

the balls of this man

how does he not trip over them walking

oh this motherfucker lyyyinnngggg through his teeth

idk how the bell is evidence of anything but okay that’s fine

*DRAMATIC CLOSEUP*

he’s like I’VE BEEN FRAMED

good lord

i do like it when wuque protec

he sexy

OH MY GOD

THIS DUDE GONNA THROW HIS FUCKING KID UNDER THE BUS

HE COMPLIMENTED YOUR DISCO ROBES AND YOU’RE GONNA DO HIM LIKE THAT?

you kick your kid? you kick your kid like a football? JAIL FOR FATHER FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS

oh no

i’m not gonna pity the villain mini me i’m not

HE LOOKS SO HURT AND LOST OMGGGGG

i’m actually feeling bad for this little asshole wtf this show is giving me a ride of my life

oh this dude deserves to die a thousand times

i hope his kid is the one who gets to kill him in the end

WHAT THE FUCK

i literally thought he was gonna chop off his own kid’s arm duudeeeee what

i take my earlier statement back

the five great villains are the best parents in the world

he just fucking disowned his own kid WHO TOOK THE BLAME FOR HIM WOW

oh this is pitiful

yeah i know how you feel guys

poor kid omg he’s like all alone bleeding to death in a barn

I DON’T WANNA FEEL BAD FOR HIM AND YET

EMOTIONS

I HAVE THEM

aww we get some father daughter moments

“when we get home” always ominous sounding in a drama

don’t travel by any cliffs

“I can tell mr hua is very fond of you” die netflix subtitles die

have i mentioned how much a despise love triangles

i despise love triangles

wuque is all like heart eyes motherfucker and she’s like you’re so nice but i’m gonna leave now

“don’t read too much into it” he goes, yeah okay

she’s like “i’m not blind i know you like me,” and then she’s like “sometimes i wish i was a man”

and I’m like bitch me too what the fuck, you had a sword in the first 2 episodes and fought like hell but now you’re like “if you didn’t protect me i’d die”

if you were a man the screenwriters would’ve never done you dirty like this

THERE’S A RANDOM DUDE IN A TREE

GIVING THEM LOVE ADVICE

THIS IS THE SHIT I LIVE FOR

wait

it’s not some random dude

IT’S THE RUSTY SWORD DUDE

MR MEDICINE POT

GREATEST SWORDSMAN IN THE WORLD YAN NANTIAN

i’ve been waiting for this for 27 episodes and i am not disappointed

LOOK AT HIM FLY THROUGH THE AIR

*VIBRATES*

he’s like you care about each other just get married

THAT’S A TERRIBLE ADVICE MR MEDICINE POT

gkjfdjgfkdlsfjgkdlfjgfkdl

he just

pulled out a sword and split a tree in half like a mile away i’m

xinlan’s like fine jeez i’ll marry him

and wuque is like I’D RATHER DIE THAN MARRY HER

what is even happening

they’re gonna.... fight?

because wuque doesn’t wanna get married like right this moment?

WHAT IS HAPPENING

oh my god i am laughing and crying help me

now mr medicine pot is all like haha i though you were someone else my bad

and they’re fighting again because

WHY ARE ALL THESE MEN SO STUPID

now they wanna fight to the death

yes xinlan please you talk

these two don’t have an entire brain cell between them

XIAOYU’ER TO THE RESCUE

YAAAAY

aww reunion moment

aww murder reunion moment

nooooo don’t kill wuque he’s so pretty haha

dude this greatest swordsman in the world is being a total dumbass right now

like this kid is a spitting image of jiang feng

PLAYED BY THE SAME ACTOR like

don’t you think you should maybe consider

just maybe

a possibility

that they could be related?

no?

someone give him a braincell i can’t deal

“jiang feng your son is a hero”

XIAOYU’ER?

THIS KID?

THIS FERAL HONEY BADGER OF A CHILD REMINDS YOU OF JIANG FENG

BUT NOT THE SPITTING IMAGE OF JIANG FENG PASSED OUT FIVE FEET AWAY

i’m having a stroke

he’s like you’re alright kid i think you’ll be fine

imma go now

peace out rusty sword dude you never fail to entertain

lmaoooo xiaoyu’er just skipping rocks while wuque is passed out

at least move him so he doesn’t get a sunburn jeez

omg they’re bonding

awwwww

xinlan is leaving

good

i love her but she doesn’t deserve this love triangle storyline bullshit

you go find yourself some men who aren’t stupid sweetie

anyway this episode was an emotional rollercoaster

i need a drink

#绝代双骄 #jue dai shuang jiao #handsome siblings

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keyofjetwolf · 4 years

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GIFTENING Bonus Rounds

For each category, I included a “bonus round” question. YOU GUYS KILLED IT. I loved all the answers, but listed below are some of my particular favourites.

Haruka Tenoh is trapped in the wrong anime! Which would you have her visit next?

I want her to earth shake Kyubey out of existence, please and thank you

My bride is a mermaid. She can relate. :P

i think she would THRIVE in bodacious space pirates. gay teenage space pirates whose job is to dress up, be Dramatic, and rob the wealthy??? that shit is RIGHT up her alley

Hamtaro

Princess Tutu - where the world is finally as dramatic as her

PGSM (and Michiru is trapped with her, for REASONS)

Pokemon because everyone deserves to be happy

Any moe-style series so hijinks can ensue at her being baffled by everyone's ages

1960's Speed Racer

is is this a captcha or something i missed oh god

Free! so she can be indifferent to all the hot men and slightly uncomfortable because she still can't swim.

Stick Haruka in a Gundam!

Dump her in Pretear or one of the Precures! It would be hilarious! She's never in the genre she wants to be!

Revolutionary Girl Utena, so she can be offended by misuse of roses.

Initial D, she will out-drive and out-drift all those guys and steal all their girls.

Evangelion. I would feel bad to watch her suffer, but it would be so, so funny for her to be the comparatively most normal person around.

Yakitake Japan! SO SHE CAN HAVE A SNACK OF DELICIOUS RIDICULOUS BREAD BEFORE THE NEXT INTERDIMENSIONAL ANIME STORM WHISKS HER AWAY.

The Holograms or the Misfits? DISCUSS

Holograms

both? both. BOTH IS GOOD

misfits bc Evil Ladies Hot

Steven and the stevens

Misfits. How dare you make us try to think about anything in our lives.

Both, you mad fool. Those combined songs were the best.

The Misfits, their songs are better

The Misgrams: A group of girls who form a singing telegram start up company, but constantly deliver the telegrams to the wrong people.

kimber & stormer

Neither. Limp Lizards all the way. BROKEN GLASS.

I do not know what these things are

Misfits because guitar motorcycle

The Isle of Misfit Holograms

Holograms is just arguably better

I mean, I’m told the Misfits’ songs are better, but my true answer is the band Kimber and Stormer made in that big gay episode you liveblogged (checks) almost four years ago.

I've no idea what these words mean and I hope this does not make me TOO uncool.

this is about jem, right? right?? im hip i swear

Misfits, because Jasper is a member apparently

I don't know from Jem, but I mean...I certainly prefer holographic material to Glenn Danzig? So I guess there's your answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Stingers

LIMP LIZARDS FOREVER

Senshi Band

You can make me liveblog a full series of any show you want! You also hate me. What do you have me watch?

Pick a GoT rip-off, any GoT rip-off

The Bachelor?

The Bachelor :(

depends on how much i hate you, but....probably the bachelor. quantity AND lack of quality

Critical role, it would take forever

If I were a horrible person who sought only malice? Big Bang Theory. Entire series.

Toddlers and Tiaras

The Mandalorian - Disney would come after you and kill keyofjetwolf just as dead as keyofnik. We would all be very sad, you would have to go through a second round of restoring things to a new tumblr account, and your organizational heart would weep over adding yet another hosting site out of chronological order.

You are liveblogging Eva, and must discuss in full detail Shinji's emotional state at all times.

Hannity & Colmes

The Kardashians. And all of their spin offs. *kisses*

The price is right

the bachelor

Probably something with lots of romance and no friendships. Soap operas are like that, right? My college roommate used to watch General Young Light Restless Hospital of Our Lives (which one had Like and Laura?) And it was torture.

One Piece, because it's over 900 episodes so you could maybe do 10% before you die, also you will hate how the women are treated most of the time.

Fushigi Yuugi. Not only do you hate it but it also comes with you squirming when you admit to watching the whole thing. ;)

Plus belle la vie. It's an ongoing French soap opera that has been airing five days a week since 2004, they're nearing their 4000th episode and there's no end in sight. Imagine all those hours upon hours submerged in French drama, mwahahaha!!

The Bachelor. Or the Bachelorette, maybe - more straight dudes in that.

The Young and the Restless - IT IS THE LIVEBLOG THAT NEVER ENDS. IT WOULD OUTLAST THE INTERNET.

The entirety of the Bachelor franchise.

You can only play one game for the rest of your life. Which game would it be and why?

Kingdom Hearts Complete Collection. A) I love them. B) I beat the system and get like 10 games instead of one.

Gemcraft. This game actually takes a lifetime to finish.

Hatoful Boyfriend. It is the best game ever created. Feel it in your heart.

that's a mean question and you can't make me answer it

Pathfinder, which you could play for the rest of your life and still never finish.

Civ VI , so I can rule the world without leaving my house.

I am legitimately perturbed by this question and refuse to answer it.

Pokemon Go. I would have nothing else, but I would catch them all.

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim: I'll never run out of side-quests.

Mass Effect--it's the only way I'll get full completion.

The dinosaur game on Chrome when the internet doesn't connect because my life is monotonous and it's a welcome relief.

Stardew Valley. Peaceful farmer life and turning my children into doves when I'm bored with them.

Crabs Adjust Humidity

Oh my! A number of things come to mind, not one of them fit for print. Just, you know...*gestures vaguely* sex shit.

I can't even stick to the ones I play now.

This is the worst of all possible things and I refuse to answer.

Monopoly, I hate myself :(

Probably Minecraft! I haven't gotten into it because I know if I start I will NEVER STOP. Who would do things like build a hundred foot tall statue of Mako-chan? A-THAT'D BE ME.

the game. Of LIFE! *shrug emoji*

I don't believe I'll tell you, because I AM a salty little fish and it was HARD to cut that 11th choice off my vote.

Holligay and I are going to be the leads in a new buddy film. What's the premise? How does it end?

Be gay do crimes. Thelma and Louise. Duh. :P

I have no idea but only just surviving disaster is how it ends.

You break down in a small town during a roadtrip- your stay is full of hijinks and ends with you teaching the townsfolk the true meaning of friendship.

Doctor Holligay, Esquire, PhD, renowned Jewish femme of many talents, is assigned one Operative Jet Wolf as her bodyguard on a foreign diplomatic mission/vacation/culinary tour of the world ("same difference, shut up, narrator"). One problem: Operative Wolf needs a bodyguard herself, as the good doctor discovers when in one night her toilet is destroyed ("IT WAS A SECURITY THREAT") and Operative Wolf nearly breaks a leg falling down a small set of stairs ("THEY PUT A CLIFF OUTSIDE THE DOOR"). Worldwide shenanigans ensue as Holligay and Operative Wolf learn the true meaning of friendship, and also how to take care of themselves... by taking care of each other.

I’m not sure about the premise, but DEFINITELY it ends in murder.

Someone posted a major spoiler during one of your liveblogs. The two of you track them down seeking revenge. It turns out it was the original creator of the series trying to stop you. For some reason Holligay is a CGI badger.

It's clearly a buddy cop movie, and like all good buddy cop movies, it ends with Doc almost dying, and you saving her, and slapping her wound in the hospital as the credits roll.

It ends as it began: with Holligay roasting you.

A straight detective and her lesbian partner have to solve the case of the missing cinnamon buns. It ends with nobody getting the guy OR the girl and you drive off into the sunset together, perps behind bars sans cinnamon buns.

I don't know what it's about but I know it will be the only movie that ever existed.

Holligay is the lesbian chief of staff to you somehow being elected President and she's basically running the country while you're the charming face of the administration

Nerd and cowgirl meet at a bar, justifyingly murder some gross dude, go on the run from the law and have a life-changing road trip, on the way Nazis are punched

carrying a delicate object through a forest after your helicopter goes down

Thelma and Louise, but instead of dying, your deaths are clearly faked and you live on a ranch in Montana with your respective spouses and animals. One time a cop comes by the restaurant/bar you joint own with Doc and says, "You look familiar." Doc, in perfect lesbian, answers, "Jet's just got that criminal look, on account of how much she'd love to steal my cheesecake recipe. More pie?"

Queer Eye with a Straight Goy. The two of you do the show but in your own special ways.

Doc Holligay is the wild-west no-nonsense sheriff. Jet Wolf is the all-fun cyberpunk cop from the future. They punch nazis and argue about food. It ends as a tv series ala B99.

Your lives are already a buddy film, don’t get greedy.

Hands and socks. You know how it ends.

See Grumpy Old Men for details. How does it end? Badly.

I can't imagine the premise, but I'm pretty sure the planet explodes.

A Coen Bros film. It ends poorly.

Wait? You're not already living this now?

REI HINO

Sure. Why not?

HINO REI

<3<3<3<3

REI HINO!

Rei who? ;)

REI HINOOOOOOOOO

Plush Is being hugged by Zoisite in your banner.

MINAKO AINO

MAKOTO KINO

The best

SOCKS

MICHIRU KAIOH

It's time tooo.... REI! THAT! HINO!

sponsored by Here! curry

LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI [THIS REPEATS A LOT A LOT AND IS GLORIOUS] [...] LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES JETWOLF

(THE REAL ONE)

Isn't how you spell Makoto Kino!

THE REAL ONE™

obviously

IS NOT A RHINO

In conclusion: Rei Hino

Rei Hino is giving this Giftening finger guns

BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, SHOW-STOPPING, TALENTED, AMAZING, WONDERFUL

Hot stuff, lights my fire, blazes it regularly. I am out of fire jokes.

PASSION FLAME, SAILOR MARS

These hot feelings are C'EEEEEST LAAAAA VIIIIIIE c'mon rei-chan why aren't you singing along

IS THE BEST (I know who I'm talking to)

Ara!

DID DOCTOR HOLLIGAY PHD NOMINATE THE OPTION OF TALKING ABOUT MICHIRU KAIOH FOR 6 HOURS!!

If Hot Pocket were to plan One Last Heist, what do you think would be his objective? What would be Mina's role in his master plan?

Master Hot Pocket seeks BREAD. His friend and loyal companion, Mina-pup, acts as a distraction, as he has learned the humans are easily distracted by cute. While she does her sworn duty as Best Friend and Cutest Goodest Girl, probably with lolling tongue and glee at all the pets she receives, he picks the locks on the newly childproofed pantry, and Master Howard H. Pocket FEASTS AS NO CAT HAS BEFORE.

Every bag of flour in Montana; Mina runs distraction with her adorable puppy eyes

Open every container, leave none unmarked. Mina is the lookout who greets whoever comes and is completely ineffective at her job.

TAKE ALL THE FLOUR. Do it straight from the source: FlourCo Inc. What does a 10-pound cat do with eighty thousand tons of flour? If you can't figure that out, there's a reason he's the brains of this outfit. Mina would obviously be the bumbling lovable distraction to security or other people.

Bread. Mina is The Face who provides distraction to the Keepers of the Bread by walking up to them and being herself. Mina has absolutely no idea that Hot Pocket is using her in this manner because Hot Pocket is that Machiavellian, but Mina is a pocket full of sunshine in canine form and probably would just be happy to help out.

Hot Pocket knows that no mammal of the floor believes in flour anymore. It went away a long time ago. It doesn't exist. But what he also knows is that they're wrong. A lack of opposable thumbs won't hide the truth from him. He'll find the stash, and when he does, he'll stick his paw in it. Mina, with her limited climbing skills, will lick its remains from his claw and prove his discovery. As well as provide a warm place to curl up on for the aftermath of their adventure.

His goal is to sample every edible thing he can get his teeth on. Mina pulls triple duty as step stool, distraction, and scape goat

The Silver Crystal. Mina would play the role of Sailor V.

He is getting ALL THE FLOUR. Mina is a lovable distraction.

Looting all the carbs in the pantry. mina is distraction.

mina's role would be the "dopey" but talented best friend who it looks like HP is going to betray for the sake of the plan but then it all comes together when HP mounts a dramatic rescue. i dunno i'm still in film mode from that last one.

The Holy Bread Locked Within the Cupboard. Mina would be the distraction, but she'd forget what she was supposed to be distracting from and end up leading you to him.

I am the Void. I am the Night. I am the Darkness with no hope of dawn. The Flour trembles before me in it's bleached fluffiness. It shall not escape my chaos, which will descend upon it like the Terrors of the Deep, claws and teeth and gnashing. It will howl at my claws. It will scream for my teeth, sharp and white, stars in the night of my fur. I shall tend and tear and -- Dammit, Dog-thing! How am I supposed to be terrible and terrifying with you wagging your tail and panting at me!? Oh, you found a good warm sunbeam? I guess I can stalk stuff later. I am the Void. I shall absorb the Sun's light and warmth and bring it into my Darkness where it cannot escape...

I'm new here and don't know all the complex lore of Jetwolf(fairly sure Mina is dog), so I'm going to assume that Hot Pocket is an actual hot pocket and his heist is robbing Fort Knox using Mina as his loyal stead/get away car. Then he explodes a microwave or something.

i lik the bred

Mina as the distraction while he takes one last tastes of EVERYTHING

objective--stealing more chips; Mina--surprise betrayal

The scene: Mama Jet's pantry The Objective: the bag of cake flour Aunt Doc made Mama Jet buy but she's never used Mina: confused but excited escape vehicle and/or scapegoat

RAIDING THE KING ARTHUR FLOUR FACTORY. Mina is of course adorable and keeps everyone's attention while Hot Pocket swan dives into the flour like Uncle Scrooge

Hot Pocket would definitely try to steal a monument, Carmen SanDiego style. Mina, of course, is the multi-talented and super cute face of the operation.

I have no idea who Hot Pocket is

HP would try to scale the tallest building in the world. Not to steal anything, just to be up there. Mina would be the adorable diversion.

It would be to get whatever food you've left on the counter. Preferably bread. He would tell Mina that he'll give her some of she acts as a distraction. She's a good dog so she does. He's a cat so she gets no food.

Truly, truly, THE GIFTENING winner is us all.

#THE GIFTENING 2019 #THE GIFTENING 2019 admin stuff #long post for ts

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locktive · 4 years

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so i’m doing a rewatch of sherlock and i’m going to write little liveblog notes abt things i wanna rememeber/talk about.

so far for s1 ep1

sherlock calling it ‘my’ riding crop (ok sherlock-)

uh i want to do more with sherlock at barts bc i like how he frequents the hospital. (also lowkey wanna do a sherlock as a nurse au now)

i love how much he casually plays violin along w his thought process and the fact he doesn’t talk for days on end (and the fact he considers these to be some of his worst traits at the beginning) but more??? the silence thing because he rly outwardly doesn’t seem like someone that stops talking. suppose it’s the mind palace aspect, but also leads, i believe, to saying he’s prone to reflection/inflection as well.

uhhh how much? s1 sherlock is just??? vying for attention/validation (the look on his face when he asks john what he thought of his blog- it’s like a kid waiting for praise)

how he JUMPS with excitement???? it’s???? adorable????

that he’d been badgering w/e forensic to work w him on the case, the fact anderson won’t work w him- bc he’d bullied anderson when he was working in ‘john’s place’ before him

THE SECOND JOHN TELLS HIM HES EXTRAORDINARY IN THE CAR is when the tone changes sherlocks like ‘:))))’ underneath it all and then the play afterwards when john is telling him and sherlocks like ‘oh it was a sister’ THIS IS SO FUN FOR HIM, someone to go back and forth with that’s like the underlying thing of their whole relationship and one of the things that makes for a compatible feature @ sherlock

#ok here's the first bit #jones liveblogs #so far this is only the first 22 mins of the first ep so

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journeysintowebcomics · 4 years

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Stand Still Stay Silent Liveblog #89

UPDATE 89: Do Nothing and You’ll Be Fine

Last time Emil was lucky enough to find a house that’s not only intact enough to be good shelter, but also will be a good place to hide from the dusklings that are coming to try to eat the flesh off their bones. Will the barricade survive? Let’s find out!

So, last time I had ended the update on something that may not have been the best stopping spot, but story circumstances made it happen! After all, a new chapter is starting now, and as usual, here I’m pasting the image. It’s a treat to the eyes like usual.

Now this is an interesting image. Looks like Emil is getting tormented by the dusklings, while Lalli is being tormented by...something else. Something of a more spiritual and magic nature, I imagine. Which is pretty worrying, given he’s currently in Emil’s...personal space, I suppose? So if he’s in spiritual danger, so is Emil. What a problem, what a problem.

Or maybe I should be interpreting this differently. Maybe Emil is getting badgered by the dusklings, and what’s on Lalli’s side of the image represents the psychic threat they have. Do these dusklings have the same foreboding psychic attack the troll who almost killed him have? If so, then that may be it. Oh well. Time to find out by reading this chapter!

Naturally, Emil is wide awake and staring at the barricade. All the dusklings are on the other side of the door, begging him to open and let them eat. They even say the door is hard to chew through. Hard, yeah, but I’m pretty sure if necessary they’ll do it. You know, since they’re already here, Emil may as well get the gun ready, in case they chew a hole through the door. Be ready to put a bullet through their weird, mossy heads. Who cares if he makes noise, it’d be the last resort and a very necessary thing to do.

They’re doing the thing again! The thing with the black speech! Right, I think I see now what’s going on, I seeee...so, the black speech is what’s a psychic threat. Trolls can speak like normal, provided you have enough mage skills to hear them, and only when they want to compel you to do something they use the black speech. Or at least that’s how I think this works.

At the first sign of black speech, Emil covers his ears and yells for Lalli to help him, preferably in a manner that also involves backstory and bonding. Would be nice! Lalli stars talking about the time he found a not-so-dead snake under the porch, but the story doesn’t get too far before Emil falls under the influence of trolls, getting closer to the door to open it. Welp. Time for a Lalli intervention. He’s angry and fired up!

This time there are no intense debilitating migraines, he’s covering Emil’s ears with magic. It works, although it also makes Emil have to lie down on the floor, I suppose because his head may be feeling mighty heavy right now. Alright! All should be fine as long as the dusklings don’t break through the door anytime soon...or the barricade falls down, because he’s a little too close to it for comfort.

So, right now they traded being safe from the psychic threat with being vulnerable against...pretty much anything. Even a rat beast could come and chew their necks and kill them, pretty easy. That’s true, Emil has fainted. Hmmm...if any of them have enough awareness of what’s going on out there, maybe they can stay like this until an emergency happens – but only if they can be aware of what’s happening, otherwise they’re in a lot of trouble.

Lalli has an idea! Another one! Oh boy, let’s see...

Easier said than done, Emil already showed a couple times he’s very vulnerable to the psychic problem. This is putting a bit too much stock on his capacity to resist. The only way to stop that is for Lalli to leave Emil’s magical spirit space, but...where’s he going to go, then? It’s not like he can just walk back to his own turf, that’s the whole problem he’s been having for a while already.

Turns out I didn’t give him enough credit, he does manage to just sit around and do nothing, at least until something crashes against one of the windows, leaving a bloody imprint upon it because either the dusklings are as soft as melons, or it hit the window real hard. Is that a hole? I think it made a hole in the glass! Things are getting baaad.

Hah! Emil does something: call the dusklings idiot. That’s good, focus on that, don’t think about the black speech.

In his head, Lalli is frantically looking for a way out! The moment he leaves, the moment Emil will be safe from the dusklings’ black speech, so he’s trying to find an exit to anywhere, I suppose. No matter where it is as long as he’s out. The windows lead nowhere, the door he had used to enter is not available anymore – maybe Emil’s head welcomed him subconsciously – and all the halls lead back to where he has been sitting around for a couple days already.

During the search, there’s the sound of dripping. Huh, that’s...new? Perhaps? A change in Emil’s mindscape that’ll facilitate his escape? I hope so, at least.

It’s a short update today because these are busy times! I apologize, seriously. Thank you for your patience.

Next time: in two updates

#Stand Still Stay Silent #ssss liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

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calebsbian · 5 years

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first cr liveblog and it’s a special episode (between 39 and 40) go figure

i’m just gonna be typing as i watch so long post below the cut lads

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY

Laura’s copyright dodges are EVERYTHING

Liam playing a girl is metaphysically holding my gay ass at gunpoint. Alison is a femme lesbian icon

Tal’s an accent master

these little sprite motherfuckers are DEFINITELYYY evil

John and Andy are nsync as shit

#CALLEDIT

initiative roll babyyyyyyy.....Laura’s Jester voice makes me smile literally every time i hear it

Alison is so weird. Wife goals

I’d like to thank Jesus and also God for Liam’s tendency to full-body act his characters. My uwus are out of control

this is such a bizarre crossover but i’m getting my jush

eyes emoji ten hour version

LIAM LITERALLY. KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING

(mutters feverishly about scarves)

Acorn Hat. Acorn Hat.

I would make a The Femme Cycle joke but it would be incomprehensible to almost the entire earth, save for a small discord full of lesbians

i fucking love these weirdos. The world needs more unabashedly getting into things

Brian’s middle part is still sending me lmfao

Tal is playing a surprisingly convincing jock; Sam is playing one of the preps from My Immortal

Excellence though. A fussy legend

As uncomfortably horny as a Hogwarts episode should be

I’m just this image the whole time

OH SPODER?

Why Did It Have To Be Spiders

These hole jokes. Please i feel like im on gay twitter

CHESS TIME

FUCKING CHESS TIME.

Laura’s literally just switching it up on em...Wig

OH MY GOD SPIDER CHESS

This is so complicated but Laura’s really doing the damn thing

The mechanics on this are just wild enough to be super cool

Jesus these chess pieces deal DAMAGE. Hope the players now know not to try shit with them

ALISON REYNOLDS AS PLAYED BY L.O.B. BE MY GIRLFRIEND CHALLENGE

Do any of them know chess strategy? I hope not because neither do i and this should be fun

a very 2011 opinion here but: British Accents Good

why and how does this show continuously find my exact niche and exploit it

BADGER HOURS

Honey badger dont give a shit! Did yall know the honey badger guy started a podcast

The calculator is such a hilarious choice of spiritual weapon

W E E D F O R A M O N T H ?

AW THE LETTER. fuckin excellent episode and the youtube comments are god-tier, wish i coulda been there for the livestream

#cr #critical role #my posts #liveblog

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ventingblacklist · 6 years

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Live blog 5x21

Ha. the badger.

Liz being all Kaplan’s dying wish. Okay, I get that they probably think that the casual audience doesn’t even remember the whole ‘kaplan jumping off a bridge’ thing, but c’mon. Do we have to hear the story of the duffel repeated every episode now? eesh.

Yes, let’s honor the dying wish of a cleaner. Not terribly unlike the cleaner we are currently after, but whatevs.

Samar repeating his words back. lol

I’m not an expert on Islam, but I’m fairly certain it didn’t exist during the Assyrian era. Why do people keep conflating religion with ethnicity? Aram saying he’s ‘half muslim’. Wtf does that mean?

But Dembe (who I guess is muslim? I know Hisham is) argues against the destruction of ancient artifacts, so yay.

Aw, Red bought Dembe a six million dollar present.

A bear? Oh, this day just can’t get any better.

I stand corrected.

Stabbed, mauled, drowning. Yeesh.

I don’t think the little fishy will hurt you.

(at this point I stopped liveblogging)

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copperhawks · 3 years

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All right, I’m going to attempt to get these final liveblogging posts (until the next hiatus happens and I go through Act II) done today before I go off to finish marathoning most of the Studio Ghibli catalog. AND I did some baking today so we have breakfast stuff for tomorrow.

Being productive! It works!

Anyway, most of this chapter sort of stands alone, but one last time, let’s go over where I left off. Since it’s the final chapter of Act I, I’m going to go over more of what’s happened so far this fic, in as broad a sense as I can.

Numair gets blown off course after escaping Sinthya on a spy mission for George and manages to land in Cria, capital of Galla, and gets picked up and found by Marquis Savigny de Hartholm, right hand of the King and foster/adopted brother of Daine Sarrasri. He’s been visited by the Badger God who has tasked him with helping Daine enough that the Badger can communicate with her on behalf of Daine’s father. Daine, now 26 years old, has got 13 extra years of trauma with her uncontrolled extra powerful wild magic and isn’t super keen on letting a random foreign mage take over teaching her how to control a power no one else has even ever understood. But Numair is a persistent little bitch and often right when it comes to wild magic, so he does eventually get his way.

And that’s Plot B!

Plot A revolves around Numair discovering that Galla is on the brink of collapse and is probably about to have a major revolution happening that will destabilize the entire country in just enough time for Ozorne to take it over and march his way through Galla to attack Tortall. The young King Don is unable to make much headway politically and is vastly outplayed by several key members of the court, leading to even MORE discontent among the Gallan people, spearheaded by a secret rebel organization of rag tag mages led by a woman named Raven.

While this is happening, Numair has ended up in a sweet ephemeral relationship with Marquis Savigny and discovered that the Marquis’ younger brother Constant also has a strain of wild magic, mostly to do with hawks and other similar birds of prey.

Other small plots include, but are not limited to: Constant coming of age and learning how to become a leader of his people, Sav and Don’s turbulent relationship and how THAT affects politics, Sav’s possible past of abuse with his teacher Cole, what Cole and his 2IC Ossika the Bitch are up to with Carthak, Pech and his relationship with Princess Solange, and others!

So, as a final send-off to Act I of this fic, it’s FINALLY time to hit BELTANE! It’s time to party, y’all! There can’t POSSIBLY be any angst or feels in this chapter, right?

Right.

#daine au lb

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toushindai · 7 years

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2001 English Liveblog

Almost a full week after the book arrived, here’s my liveblog!

Oh, the cover colors online were greener than this! This is more in line with the Japanese one.

"For the first time in my life, I smiled in the presence of someone else" Don't lie you melodramatic little rat you were a happy child. Though I always thought that referred to smiling for Elmer specifically--which would still be a retcon, most likely, given that in 1709 Monica doesn't know the details of Elmer's past and thinks Huey doesn't either.

まあいいや. This is 2001, where everything gets retconned from.

Nothing special done with 拙者, though that doesn't surprise me.

I suppose I'm required to have an opinion on "Let me just say this," huh? I was going to say it's unwieldy, but it's actually fewer syllables than あえて言おう is, isn't it? Other than that, I think I'll wait to form an opinion. Like I've said before, my only impression of the phrase comes from his how Nile uses it, so I don't really know what it sounds like to a Japanese ear.

If I&M don't meet Elmer I'm going to go to Narita's house and sing badly at him until he explains himself.

OK but how does Feldt know about radar

Sylvie is described as 16 or 17 here but about the same age as Niki in 1711 and Niki is described as the trio's age in 1705...

まあいいや

And see, these two aren't "Let me say this" but they're not あえていおう either! They're both variations. 👍 the toushindai seal of cautious approval.

"I saw something interesting on my way out" could u be... more specific

Good translation of 共喰い, that it specifies both directions. I think--given the way the rest of the volume plays out--you're meant to believe here that Elmer chose to be exempted from eating until the epilogue clears that up.

Hm... I thought there was something here in the fan translation that I disagreed with, but whatever it is, it didn't make it into here because now I can't remember what it was.

I love Fil. I love her however you spell her name. If you want someone angry about that one you'll have to go elsewhere because Fil is how I spelled it when I first read it, before I started interacting with the fandom.

Maiza is very ace. Or just immune to the wiles of his dead brother's girlfriend. Or both!

Why do the AA alchemists make such a hobby of declaring which of them is worst in various ways? Or is that just Sylvie's hobby mostly...

I know I'm on the record as being in favor of adding dialogue tags when the English is not as clear as the Japanese about who's speaking, but let's talk about how "said" is not a bad word

WHAT A GOOD FONT for Elmer's...whatever you call it

I feel like... guy doesn't belong in narration

There it is. The Elmer Description. The single Elmer Description for use every time he appears

Gorgeous

Girl you were not an alchemist tho

まあいいや

"You know nothing works when Elmer gets like this." He was a fucking menace on the ship, wasn't he.

It's time! For the rooftop conversation!!

......that thing about tigers and butter doesn't make any more sense when someone else translates it for me, does it.

Ahh, no, leave that as badgers in the same burrow? Elmer is totally the type to translate idioms literally と思うけど

Oh th ank god, I had this horrible feeling for some reason that 嘘じゃない would end up as "I promise!" and that would have been hella inconvenient for Mad Religion

Ahhhh I was hoping it wouldn't be "I ate Fermet"... I know most of y'all pronounce it without the final T but technically it should be there so this rhymes awkwardly. But we haven't been using devour, have we. So here we are.

[extremely retconned voice] fermet would never

まあいいや

What a good

[conspicuous lack of Firo]

"glamorous bombshells with hourglass figures"...Lucrezia

"Elmer's lips warped cheerfully" is such a good way to describe... him

Spruce... it up a bit

I see you there, pun

You're definitely a resident of Liar Town

Do we have "eyes swam" in English? In the sense of looking back and forth, I mean, not with tears.

Fil is so incredibly precious

I mean honestly was Maiza ever happy three hundred years ago?

Right, about Bilt, I never knew why it was Bild in the first place because the katakana definitely have the t sound, not the d sound.

I just remembered we don't technically know Victor at this point in time. ...We'll meet him in 2018, won't we! If YP's current pace turns out to be sustainable.

"You say that like it's easy" I mean you can literally call him on the phone. You can do it right now. And Elmer's aware of it.

"Somewhere in there, I learned about those things" It's nice of you to not tattle on your counterfeiting best friend but I am so completely convinced that it was Huey who had to explain the economy to you. I will not allow this thought to be taken from me.

"Inwardly, he somehow understood that this was Elmer's true nature." Only took you three hundred years.

Let's stop kidnapping Sylvie! No more kidnapping the women. I've decided.

Love how "gave the water to his own son" is "the worst possible outcome" and then... *glares at Huey*

Ten billion? Ten billion, sir? Maybe not ten billion.

Mr. Narita yes we understand that this particular book is inspired by video games. You can stop calling attention to it now.

Nn, there's really no easy way to get the tone of 君が死んだら、俺は笑うよ？ right, is there? For the disconcerting casualness I wonder if it should be something like "Oh, I'll smile when you die!"...

Young husband?? I mean I guess that does say 青年... But he's like, 90 at this point.

Elmer, you should probably protect Fil from Huey tbh.

the Fils...

"How d'ya like them apples?!" oh my god I want Ronny to say this to Elmer please please please please I want it PLEASE

Yeah he's definitely thinking of Huey specifically. 苦笑だし。 I’m still so curious about whether Huey knows about this little deal, though, because like... yknow?

I’ve thought about that way too much.

"I took this chance to designate 'since I've got the opportunity' as a diabolical phrase." Oh my god... sir...

Didn't he say that about DRRR!!'s title actually...?

"In the future, I'll write more standalone volumes" You're a liar.

I forgot to say this when it first appeared but Nibiru is honestly a transliteration I don’t like. It looks very... fakey Japanese. The rest of the names, and “Let me just say this,” I’m relatively content with. Feldt I like a lot.

#baccano!#baccano #novel day

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