Poets are particularly vulnerable to biography because readers naturally assume they are sincere, that their verses are dispatches from the heart, the self at its most honest ... Larkin and Frost: both were temporarily undone by biography.
— Alan Bennett, from The Habit of Art
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reading the ellroy biography when i should have been working
I should have gone thrifting with my day off but instead I stayed home and played with two books on the couch. There’s a newish biography of the novelist James Ellroy called Love Me Fierce in Danger by Steven Powell that I got an early copy of (thanks NetGalley!) but that was back in December, before the January release, so now I’m late to the game. Ellroy is still alive and publishing and the…
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i thought nothing could be worse than the burning of byron’s memoirs but i stand corrected after reading jane austen’s poor wikipedia page
because at least we still have thousands of byron’s letters and journals which are mostly uncensored and which reveal his personality in all of it’s aspects, flaws and all, and everyone in his circle documented every detail of his life because he was a huge celebrity. his letters are considered some of the most brutally transparent ever written. i'm just using him as an example; him and austen shared the same publisher, lived during the same time, both very studied.
but with jane austen? we don’t get that honesty or that truly full picture. her relatives are the main sources of information, and all her surviving letters were carefully selected by them to portray her according to a specific agenda which would favor them, and so the true extent of her personality can never be as fully ascertained.
but at the same time... i don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. she doesn't seem to have wanted attention for herself but to have likely preferred privacy, and her books have gotten more acclaim that she ever could have comprehended -- her books are the way we access her, her life, her thoughts and her voice. i think that about all writers, though i do love biographical criticism and biography.
some writers we know nothing about and some writers we know everything about -- at least they all live on in their writing, yes. but on the one hand, i'm grateful all writers live on in their work (as a fan of history and literature) and on the other hand, my unquenchable curiousity does get annoyed with the lack of available information. i would really love to read an extensive series of austen diaries. there is something sort of voyeuristic about this, i know, but there is also a love of preserving the niche parts of history, the parts that others overlook, the undervalued parts (letters, diaries, receipts, notes, scraps, drafts, juvenilia, etc.)
marcus aurelius wanted his diaries burned but perverse curiousity, likely driven by excessive admiration, led to their preservation, and thus we have his meditations which is now one of the most valued pieces of literature ever. so i think letters and diaries, and any piece of writing, does have immense value, even when it borders on a violation of privacy or has the potential to ruin a reputation.
i think this all simply ties in to the fact that i don't believe in book-burning in any form. embarrassing love letters from 1812 ARE important, depressing diary entries from 1818 ARE important. i could go on and on and on but the point is that i think all words and all history are imporant. in my classes we've discussed how archival technology is at the forefront of all human knowledge: what do we keep, what do we preserve, what do we spend more time on salvaging?
it just kills me that so much has been burned and destroyed, regardless of all the intense ethical discussions which could derive from all this, which could go on for a million years. my point is that it is tragic that so much of austen's work was destroyed, and it is tragic that byron's memoirs were destroyed even though we have so much of his work any way. any loss of writing is a loss to posterity.
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"Once I hit my head on concrete and saw saints, oranges, dizzy blood. My skull almost split like a cleaved fruit. To be taken seriously a woman has to become nothing but a wound."
— Brynne Rebele-Henry, "Self-biography as a false saint" from Autobiography of a Wound
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Seen in 2023:
Orlando, My Political Biography (Paul B. Preciado), 2023
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FEBRUARY 2024: READING LIST
Lavender House, Lev AC Rosen: 4.50/5.0 Fiction & LGBTQIA+, 274pgs
Did You Hear What Eddie Gein Done, 3.75/5.0, Schechter & Powell: Graphic Novel & Biographical, 224pgs
Heartstopper: Vol. 2, Alice Oseman: 3.50/5.0, Graphic Novel & LGBTQIA+, 320pgs
Moloka'i, Alan Brennert: 3.75/5.0, Fiction & Historical, 416pgs
Vanessa and Her Sister, Priya Parmar: 4.50/5.0, Fiction & Biographical, 384pgs
Wit, Margaret Edson: 3.75/5.0, Play & Literary, 85pgs
Selected Letters of Vanessa Bell, Bell & Marler: 4.25/5.0, Autobiographical & Literary, 593pgs
Nettle & Bone, T. Kingfisher: 4.0/5.0, Fiction & Fantasy, 243pgs
The Sisters’ Arts, Diane Filby Gillespie: 4.0/5.0, Biographical & Literary, 376pgs
Snapshots of Bloomsbury, Maggie Humm: 4.25/5.0, Biographical & Literary, 240pgs
There Is Always Universe, Tiffany Aurora: 3.0/5.0, Poetry & Literary, 102pgs
Blue Horses, Mary Oliver: 3.50/5.0, Poetry & Literary, 96pgs
The Cassandra, Sharma Shields: 3.75/5.0, Fiction & Historical, 304pgs
Ghost Wall, Sarah Moss: 3.50/5.0, Fiction & Historical, 152pgs
Canto for a Gypsy, Martin Cruz Smith: 3.25/5.0, Fiction & Thriller, 176pgs
***
MOST ENTERTAINING: Vanessa and Her Sister & Lavender House
LEAST ENTERTAINING: Canto for a Gypsy & There Is Always Universe
PAGES PER FEBRUARY: 3,985 (+94)
PAGES YTD: 7,876
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From Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the Marriage of the Century
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Even the smoke, lying in the valley between that village and Keighley, took beauty from the radiant colours on the moors above, the rich purple of the heather bloom calling out an harmonious contrast in the tawny golden light that, in the full heat of summer evenings, comes stealing everywhere through the dun atmosphere of the hollows.
-Elizabeth Gaskell - The Life of Charlotte Brontë
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my tasks for this week are so fun it's like.
proofread manuscript
proofread friend's essay
write a little story for writing challenge with a friend
finish baroness elsa biography
finish if beale street could talk
read essay from tinder person (finally)
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I did a writing activity based on “7 or 8 things I know about her” by Michael Ondaatje, but about a sad circus guy or something
His mother's costumes
Dozens of dancing costumes, sequins that once glittered and shone under the lights of the stage, now sitting in bins under the stairs, dust gathering on top. He opens the door, six years old, and tries on the too-big red leotard and the shiny heels that make him stumble as he walks towards his mom. She smiles sadly as she is reminded of her days in the costumes, and she limps over to him to tell him about them.
All-boys boarding school
Dear Mr. And Mrs. [REDACTED]
We regret to inform you that your son, [REDACTED] has received his third infraction and therefore will be required to leave our school. His infractions are as listed:
1: Being physically affectionate towards another male student
2: Attempting to participate in girl's dance classes without permission
3: Leaving school premises at night
Circus tent
His father had made it very clear that he wasn't welcome in the house anymore, so he packed a suitcase full of clothes. Before he left, his mother, as fast as her legs could carry her anymore, rushed to him and gave him her peacock-themed dancing outfit. Then he left and headed straight towards the big circus tent that had been set up in town the week before. From outside, he could hear the bright, welcoming music that lay behind the flap of the tent that was staked into the ground, and despite the tears streaking his cheeks, he smiled.
Afterparty
"Do you want to come to the afterparty? There'll be gin. I hear Bonnie makes it strong." His makeup was only partially washed off, and the colors still splashed across his handsome face matched his tailcoat, which was draped on the back of the chair he was leaning on.
Gin
Both of their mouths tasted like the gin they had been drinking, which hadn't seemed very good at first, but now he couldn't get enough of it. The boys at the boarding school had never kissed him back like this.
Peacock
It's been four years, and a letter arrives for him. He opens it and reads it over, recognizing his father's handwriting with a spark of anger. He reads it again, but can only get so far before the tears blur his vision and the ink on the page blooms into a blueish-green, one that matches his costume that he's wearing. Somehow, he's at Bonnie's now, and his senses are so muddled by the gin in his stomach that he can almost forget the letter. He kisses his partner, but the peacock- colored ink of the letter still floods his mind, and the kiss becomes salty with tears. His mother is dead.
Needles
His partner's lips were blue, almost the same color as his usual makeup, but his costume wasn't on. Instead, he lay there on the floor, and the empty needles pointed towards him like tiny spotlight beams.
Music
April, 1934: He is still eight years old, and the music is loud. Although he covers his ears, he is transfixed by the performers, the ones who float above everyone as they swing on the trapeze, the ones who come tumbling out of the tiny car, and the ones who move with the music- the dancers that do impossibly marvelous tricks. They're all smiling.
The fall
When his mother was 20, she fell from the catwalk she had been dancing on, and her legs folded beneath her in a final, sickening crunch.
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Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @burningvelvet. Thank you for inviting me to the tag game! :)
Relationship Status: Currently single and I'm working on trying to build up my life so I can date.
Favorite Color: To wear is red though I also really like purple. I have more purple accessories but I wear most colors. I have many colorful outfits.
Song Stuck In My Head: Love by Lana Del Rey but there are others that can play on command in my head if I hear the title/the band.
ABBA, Meg & Dia, Emilie Autumn, Flyleaf, Avril Lavigne and Skillet are some artists that I have looping in my head often.
Last Song I Listened To: Cheater, Cheater by Joey and Rory (my spotify was on shuffle)
I like country probably more than people would expect but I am more of a pop/dance queen though. I have made Eurovision playlists in the past.
Three Favorite Foods: Pears, Potatoes (in many forms), and Greek salads or wraps. But I love most food in general. I'm not a super picky eater. I like to cook and make baked goods. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.
Last Thing(s) I Googled: Pharmacy hours because I had to pick up more medication.
I also looked up an actor's age because my sister and I were trying to figure out how old he was (she was right or close- I thought he was younger- he's on one of my mom's shows). I'm usually the go to googler for my family, especially when they ask about actors or actresses in movies and tv shows we watch.
Links to my college's website, goodreads, storygraph, youtube and list challenges. I'm making more reading lists on list challenges (again).
Sorry it's nothing too interesting lately. My YouTube searches are probably more interesting but only marginally so. I'm not at school or working on any research projects currently so my searches are very basic right now.
Dream Trip: Japan. I'd like to go with close friends and/or family members though since it would be a big deal to go that far. I've been following a japan travel vlog by a woman who lives there. She shows all kinds of cafes and other fun places to go. You can watch/follow her vlog here: https://www.youtube.com/@its_time_to_travel
I'd love to be able to go to some of the places she's featured on her blog. It would be the trip of a lifetime! I'd be sure to try to learn some Japanese first too since I'm visiting their country and that seems polite to do. I know a few random words but can't read or write anything or even hold a conversation.
If I can't go to Japan, I'd love to go back to either Germany or England, but to the parts I didn't visit since there are tons of places in both those countries I've never been too. I really want to go to Haworth (The Bronte Sister's hometown), since I'm a Bronte fan and I've focused some of my grad studies on their works.
This is a tag post so I'm tagging:
@paperbackpropensity, @thatwritererinoriordan, @oh2e, @yeahwellshithappens, @autumnbell32, @writingf3, @windermerepoets13, @melusinah, @girlonedge and whoever else wants to do this! :)
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“Ok so the other bookshelf hasn’t arrived yet but why don’t I start organising my books, it will be a fun activity and useful!”
What nobody tells you about said fun activity is that you have to make Choices about how to organise and it’s all very confusing
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I always love a beautiful mind 😍
“His own needs, he said, were “to be free, and to be safe and for friends.” He was always, he said, “in fear of ‘death’ (Indian style) through an Armageddon with Iblis...at the Day of Judgement.” Even in these very dark hours he clung to a vision of liberation — which later became, more concretely, a wish for sexual liberation. “I’m hoping fervently to be saved (delivered) before reaching 40 in age,” he had written a few weeks before his birthday. “One cannot substitute free life and love of the 40s for the lost possibilities of the 20s and 30s and also teens.” Nash was acutely aware of the passage of time. “It does seem to me that I’ve been as if the victim of an excessively long wait for liberation...”
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Would like to read a Good Novel for once. Welcoming any suggestions that are not sci-fi, fantasy, or—god forbid—YA
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“Self Portrait as I” by Ae Hee Lee, published in The New England Review Volume 41, No. 4 (2020)
Ae Hee Lee was born in South Korea and raised in Peru. She received her MFA from the University of Notre Dame and is a PhD candidate in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Her poetry has been published or is forthcoming in the Georgia Review, Southeast Review, Poetry, Pleiades, Denver Quarterly, and the Adroit Journal, among others. She is the author of two chapbooks: Bedtime // Riverbed (Compound Press, 2017) and Dear Bear (Platypus Press, 2021).
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tthat's it, I'll finish l'érotisme today if it kills me, I wamt to just be fucking done with this book and never read another word about or from bataille ever again
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