#literally i hate being attracted to men this isnt like internalized homophobia talking i just genuinely have had such a bad time sexing men

[shenqingqiustanaccount]

/r/relationships

My (32m) husband (30m) keeps saying he isnt gay. We've been married for five years. Help?

We met when i was working as a freelance writer. He was one of my regular readers, and he hated my writing so much that he paid me to move in with him (dont ask, it's complicated) so that he can edit my stuff. To his credit my work has gotten a lot better since then, but that also might have had to do with regular food & the lack of rent. Anyway we started making out like 3 months in. things clearly escalated and now we're married and we have 2 cats.

For like a year after I moved in he kept on saying that he was straight. Since we were having sex I kind of thought he was joking? Or that he at least stopped thinking he was straight when he introduced me as his partner to his family. He stopped bringing it up at some point anyway, and i figured it didnt matter after we got married. Only recently i brought up how he used to think he's straight and he told me HE STILL IS. How the fuck does that make any sense? Who can be straight after nearly 10 years of monogamous dicking?? I've never even heard him call a woman attractive!!! He is CONSTANTLY telling me about some new hot dudes he's seen!!

How do I convince my husband that he's probably not straight?

Edit: stop calling me fake i WISH i were joking but he is very serious about this. i asked if he thought i was attractive, and he said of course he does. i thought that was a "gotcha" moment but he said that because the protagonist of my novel is a self-insert, and that i described him as the most attractive man ever, my husband would obviously be attracted to me? because of novel protagonist logic?? i literally do not understand

Edit 2: Okay, i've tried some of the (ACTUAL) suggestions people left. I printed out pictures of "hot" people, men and women, and asked him to sort into a Hot and Not Hot pile. Most of the men were deemed Attractive and all the women (+some men) were deemed Not. i asked him what that means. i can't remember his exact logic but i think it boils down to the fact that he thinks all of his opinions are actually objective fact. i guess it's nice that he thinks I'm objectively hot. i spoke with his siblings, they all agree that he's absolutely gay, and they talked to him individually but he's still telling me he's straight.

Edit 3: i was going to ignore all those comments but you ASSHOLES won't leave it alone. YES, WE MET BECAUSE I WAS A NOVELIST AND HE HATED MY BOOK. He was NOT normal about it. i don't know what else to tell you. He's a closeted rich kid (as some of you had guessed already) and i guess he just yearned for the touch of a man so hard that i had to marry him. Whatever. it was our anniversary yesterday and he said "no homo" when he gave me flowers because i guess i was too insistent about him being gay. he was kind of joking but definitely not entirely.

Edit 4: some of you have guessed my pen name?? how??? A few others have even guessed my husband's username. Absolutely insane. I didnt even give that much info. He still says he's straight btw. Honestly i've kind of given up on changing his mind, but i did direct him to some queer websites a couple people suggested, so maybe reading more about internalized homophobia will cure him? It's actually stopped being funny and now I'm worried for his mental health, so I'm really hoping that personal stories he can actually relate to might do something.

Edit ??: you've fucking done it guys. he found this post. my sweet darling husband yelled at me for 5 minutes. those websites must've worked though, because he can easily go on for 20 minutes if he actually cared, and all the replies people left maybe helped a bit too. he actually apologized to me at the end!! can you believe that??? if you want to see him in all his glory he's the jerk with all the awards and upvotes in the comments here. you will definitely recognize him for a stephen king antagonist when you see him.

Edit 6: our cats are named Crybaby and Little Fucker 😊

#svsss #shang qinghua #cumplane #dont talk to me about reddit im scared of reddit #i only vaguely know how the posts are formatted #fanfiction #<-recently added since more than one person asked if this was real #sorry folks 🙏 it is not real

[sortagaysortahigh]

Yo would it be totally weird to ask you what your whole coming out was like? As in when you knew you liked girls? Because I don’t really have any funds that aren’t straight and I’m just always curious to hear about other people’s stories 😬🥰

I rhink ive told this story before but ive always known i liked girls, when i told my mom as a kid she said i just thought my friends were pretty and didn’t understand actual attraction and stupid shit like that so i suppressed all of it.

Also my family is either v catholic or v baptiste christian so the homophobia is IMPECCABLE, the FLAVOR. Anyways so i came out as “bisexual” in high school just for my mom to try and deem it as a phrase and then say aome shit like “at least youll marry a man and have kids” but then lol people in my supposed friend group outed me and my mother outed me to my family so the homophobia was so flavorfull and just delish. Like wow getting called the f slur but make it spanish, ugh the range they have 😩😩😩. I also had friends not fw me anymore bc they thought i was into them like bitch youre not my type go suck a dick bye.

Then i was honestly just rlly lowkey about like sex and shit. I dated a few dudes and fornicated and faked it. And one of my relationships w a guy was extremely traumaric for me but i also have a lot of trauma when it comes tommen so ppl tried to deem that as to why i “was fake gay” lol. Then my senior year of highschool i had a gf and our relationship was HELLA lowkey like nobody knew bc she was still in the closet but one person found out and outed me to that entire school (it was a new school for me and it was v conservative) so lol i fought a lot of ppl but we ended up breaking up bc of her family being literal racists.

Anyways flash forward to my freshman year of college when i was srill on my bisexual-pretend to like men to please your family and fight your internalized homophobia-shit but i was still getting freaky w girls bc its college snd i had the freedom to eat all the pussy and ass i wanted. But then i met the loml (shes still v much the loml but we have a lot to work on) and she rlly helped me realize that i was a raging homosexual and i hate men. So i started coming out slowly to a few v understanding and accepting people but not my family.

Then sophomore year was when I came out to more of my family including my mom-I came out AGAIN as a lesbian and she was more accepting but shes still homophobic. Shes on that “im okay with it if its not MY CHILD” bullshit. But then this bitch really outed me again-my oldest brother was rhe most accepting and my sperm donor aka my gene giver aka my father is v homophobic and wont acknowledge it and he even says shit like “when your sister gets married and has a husband one day” to my younger brothers, im slways like “i am the husband” bc i think im funny. But nah my family doesnt rlly rock w my gay shit but i really truly dont give a fuck anymore and im not out to all of them solely because i know ill end up cutting them off and probably sending my old ass grandma on my dads side into a heart attack and idk shes always been the homie so ima tell her ass on her desth bed.

Most of my college friends and my two best friends in the whole wide world are very accepting of me and some of them figured i was just a big ole lesbian bitch when we first met bc i wasnt one to talk about gobbling snd swallowing men but wheb theyd talk ab girls id be in that bitch like sugar in coca cola. But even now some people dont know that im gay bc i dont include that in my social media bios or feeds other than tumblr bc as an afro latinx woman i face enough discrimination as is when it comes to networking and job/volunteer opportunities. I just make gay jokes until they catch on and hesistate to ask me if im a lesbian then im like “me??? A lesbian?? Why would you ever think that. I love men *gag* i just love penis *agressive gagging*”

But yeah my coming out story isnt that positive. I have some accepting people in my life and some that arent. It wasnt a big ole “im proud of you for accepting who you are” type thing snd i didnt get a rainbow cake and shit but idk im comfortable in my sexuality and i love women so for me im happy. Like after coming out and accepting who I was and dealing w all of my internalized issues I really learned to love myself the most.

#tw: homophobia #tw: coming out