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#literally have three things in drafts that i thought of
sureuncertainty · 5 months
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hopefully it's just tonight but i haven't written at all in the last couple of days and i tried again tonight and it didn't work AGAIN i just can't get myself to write idk sometimes i really feel like the sequel to silence agenda is literally never ever going to actually get written and there's no point in even trying
#like i go thru phases where i'm all excited about it and they never last and i NEVER fucking finish anything with it#like literally ever#i have started to write this novel literally like 4 or 5 times now at this point?#and i can't get it done ever#since 2020 i've been working on it for almost three years#i've been making steady progress on tmtou i literally rewrite silence agenda like every fucking year#and yet i fucking can't get this story written#and idk how much of the problem is me how much of the problem is US and how much of the problem is my motivation levels and stuff#idk idk i think i'm just In It tonight and i'll probably feel differently later#it goes in these cycles#but idk man for awhile i was REALLY CONVINCED that this was gonna be the Time that i actually got this book written#i have the story! i have it! i just need to make it! and idk how!!!#i try and then a week later i can't#and my brain is hyperfixating on other things (idk why i decided to reread aftg) so i just Can't#and i do wanna get silence agenda published soon so i wanna focus on that#but i feel like i can't deliver on this sequel i feel like i can't even write it#idk i've never spent THIS LONG and gotten THIS MANY DRAFTS out of a book without being even like. close to the halfway point#i should finish it! i want to! i want to want to! but i fucking CAN'T#part of it is me part of it is the fact that it's hard to write when kat's not around and she hasn't been lately#idk i really thought i was gonna be able to do it this time. but apparently not#idk when i'll learn#that i can't write this fucking book#win rambles
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svmjaeyvn · 23 days
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hidden love, l.hs
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synopsis: there were two things that park jongseong reiterated to you growing up.
1: he was the better, funnier, smarter, awesomer sibling and always would be, and 2: you were to never, ever, fall for any guys like his friends, literally and figuratively.
the first was a lie, one you always rolled your eyes at and the second was something 12-year-old you always agreed to without hesitation. but with time, they soon both became a fib from your lips, 14-year-old you coming to the disastrous realization that boys weren't as icky as you once thought and your older brother's best friend had the prettiest smile (when he wasn't being annoying.) as you continued to grow older, those fluttering emotions grew as well, even with him heading off to university it seemed to leave you with a sense of longing, happier than ever when he'd visit.
until you were 16 and he came home with a girl, one that was far prettier than you were able to compete with in your head and nice enough to be a saint. your hopeless, devastating one-sided crush was forced to be swallowed without much pride, though it held no avail until you dramatically decided to never speak to heeseung again. and it worked, ignoring all his calls and texts, avoiding your family home like the plague whenever your brother was home for break if he was visiting, and simply acting entirely clueless in the unfortunate circumstances that you did end up caught by him, chalking it up to dramatic teenage hormones.
once you reached the age of it being your turn to head to college, you signed up for every exchange program possible, leaving you traveling the world for three years that passed with no contact and your once-upon-a-time crush nearly forgotten. that was until you came back home, finally settling to finish uni and all of a sudden you were a kid again, fawning over your brother's best friend who didn't know how to leave you alone. this time though, heeseung didn't see you as that annoying kid who followed jay around, he saw you for you which scared him so much more with how you've grown and nothing was worse than him feeling something for his best friend's off-limits little sister.
featuring: lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon, nishimura riki, kim sunoo, yang jungwon, hanni pham, kim chaweon, yoon keeho, yoon yechan
status: writing. start: 03/30/24. end: tba.
genre: non-idol!au, college/young adult!enha, heeseung x reader, slight age gap (4 years), brothers best friend trope
content & warnings: age gap??? (slightly questionable morality but no romantic feelings or grooming since they end up with no contact for years until adulthood), cursing, drinking, all that jazz, innuendos, sexual humor, suggestive content, possible smut, forbidden relationship, sneaking around, overprotective jay, jay tries to fight heeseung cause duh, crazy exs, stalker mention, slow burn since they're both in denial, heeseung kind of toxic mentality which is forced to be fix, angst but fluffy ending (?)
a/n: based off the cdrama. watched it months ago but shit had me giggling and kicking my feet even if it's cliche. heeseung is so forbbidden older love coded i had to. im trying to make this a oneshot so well see how long it is,,,,,,, the plot will develop from when they were kids to adulthood to provide some background. once the actual romance starts heeseung will be 24 and reader will be 20 (the year will be 2025). all my drafts and writing has been about jake so im branching out (i love my man tho so he'll have his moments here). anyway! lets see how long it takes me to finish up this one
word count: 6k (as of now)
taglist: closed! (86 of you have responded omg)
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gasstationlady · 1 month
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the start of something beautiful | a lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x private!reader (fc: tyla)
lando is spotted with an unknown woman, and everyone thinks she’s another fling. however, later revealed as naomi campbell’s daughter, lando's fans slowly start to love her despite her tendency to be private.
notes: btw, i’m so sorry i’ve been mia for a while! honestly, i have a ton of drafts i’ve written over the time i didn’t post, but i lowkey hate all of them lmao. anyways, hope you enjoy this fluff :)
disclaimer: swearing. photos not mine. OLD PIC OF JAZ AND ROSS (yes it’s a warning bc i’m still mourning that relationship, and ik i’m not the only one). there are a few mistakes in the tweets that i was too lazy to fix lol. also, i hope the flow doesn’t feel too rushed!
masterlist
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, yourbestie and 138 others
yourusername 🌸
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yourbestie 👀
↳ yourusername 🙈
yourbestie framing these pics brb 😍😍
f1gossip
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2,993 likes
f1gossip We received these photos of Lando and a girl today! It looks like the same girl he has been spotted with for the past 3 months, but it’s still unclear who it is. ☕️
View all 202 comments
user three months of them being pictured AND YET NONE CLEARLY CAPTURE HER FACE. that’s some bs
↳ user no deadass bc you guys had one job 🙄
user lmaoooo i know the delulu fans are crying that she’s still here
user Are we sure it's the same girl? Lmfao even if it is, he's probably going to get tired of her soon!
user god i hope people learn and treat her better than how they treated luisinha
landonorris
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 759,301 others
landonorris First time trying wakeboarding 🤙
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user happy lando >>>
user Where’s your girlfriend
user not the red bull life vest lmfaoo
user lando rlly said here’s some shirtless pics to distract u
↳ user frrr but like it’s not working 😭
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f1gossip
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12,321 likes
f1gossip Naomi Campbell and daughter, Y/N Campbell, making an appearance at today’s GP! It's presumed that Y/N is dating Mclaren driver, Lando Norris. Our sources in the paddock mentions that the two visited the Mercedes, Ferrari, and Mclaren garages before the race. 👀
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user i'm literally in love w her she's soo beautiful 😍
user this actually makes sense that they knew each other since naomi has been connected to f1 for a while now
user I would be unstoppable if I looked like her.
user she looks so kind 🥺🥺
user oh the things i would do to reincarnate as a wealthy person’s child
user i was there and got to meet her and i’d just like to say that i’d go to war for her
landoupdates
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7,626 likes
landoupdates Max, Lando, and Y/N (seen in second photo, far right) with fans at an after party! We received these pictures a few minutes ago, and the fan included “Y/N mostly stood behind as Max and Lando were asked for photos but she was so so kind !! Although you can tell she likes to keep to herself, she told me she thought my dress was cute and even got Lando’s attention for me so I could ask for a picture 😭 Also, he kept holding her hand !!!”
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user her face card is insane.
user now that we know she's naomi's daughter, i can't believe we didn't see it before LOL
user “he kept holding her hand” 😭😭😭😭😭
user I have never wanted someone to go off private so bad 😩
user honestly she’s my new fav wag
user it’s the way everyone loves her rn lmaoooo
user LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT
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f1gossip
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11,234 likes
f1gossip Lando, Ginge, and Ethan possibly alluding to Lando’s new relationship with Y/N in the recent Quadrant video 👀👀
See all 239 comments
user not them clowning him 😭
user i mean we all know by now that they’re together but this was the cherry on top
user melting over how he couldn’t stop smiling 🥹
user the fact that he kept this clip in 😩😩
user I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING “LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT”
user I get it 😭 I also wouldn’t be able to hide that I’m dating Y/N
user perfect example of private but not a secret, in love with them 🥹🥹
landoupdates
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5,389 likes
landoupdates A few photos of Lando and Y/N at the paddock today ☺️
See all 195 comments
user literally my fav couple
user when is he gonna make it officially on insta
↳ user My thoughts exactly!! 😭😭 I know not everything has to be posted, but I’m just excited to see him officially announce it.
user my girl y/n looked so fucking good today
user i just want him to post her solely because i want more y/n pics
↳ user LOL you’re so real for that
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landonorris
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liked by yourusername, angryginge13, georgerussell63 and 1,221,334 others
landonorris We so good ❤️
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user THE HAND PLACEMENT
user not tagging her is criminal 😭😭
↳ user girl what’s the point when she’s on private
user When will it be my turn 😩
user LANDO??? OMFG
user TURN IT UP IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE 😁😁😁🔊🔊
user omggg i can’t, they’re goals
user Y/N IS SO CUTE
user i luv my parents
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karajaynetoday · 2 months
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and i'd give up forever to touch you, cause i know that you'd feel me somehow | jack hughes
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Thank you for all the love on hey now, you're an all-star - i am honestly blown away by those notes!! here is a part two. let me know what you think, and what your predictions or desires are for a potential part three! xo
Word count: 3.3k
Warnings:  nothing major. uni stress again, jack being a bit of a dick. angst. all of the angst.
(This is a fem reader insert) read part one here read the part three here
More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here
Waking up was always slightly disorienting for you, and the next morning was no different.
Your dreams could be quite vivid, or you couldn’t remember them at all once you awoke; but the first thing you could sense on this particular morning was the strong scent of coffee wafting through the room. As your eyes adjusted to the morning light streaming in the windows, you became suddenly and painfully aware that you were alone on the couch. A blanket had been draped over you at some stage of your slumber, but Jack was nowhere to be seen.
You sat up slowly, rubbing your face, trying to ignore the anxiety that was building in your chest. You could hear a shower running, somewhere in the hotel suite, and hastily threw the blanket off your body as you scanned the room for your belongings.
Shoes. Where were your shoes? And phone? Keys? Did you bring a bag with you? What time was it? What time did your class start? Would you be able to get an Uber to Campus in time? Wait, was your class online or on campus this morning?
Your brain was churning out a thousand thoughts a minute, and your heart rate was starting to match it. You felt like a deer in headlights. Or a cat under a rocking chair. Or… just… lost. You were so lost.
Someone cleared their throat behind you and you jolted, whipping around to face Quinn, who was decked out in a brown leather jacket and grey pants, holding two steaming coffee mugs in his hands.
You must have looked distressed, because Quinn offered you a gentle smile and one of the mugs which you cautiously accepted.
“Thanks, Q. I really should get going soon, though. Get out of your hair before the big draft day circus arrives.” Your voice was still slightly groggy with sleep.
“Take as long as you need, sugarplum. Our call time isn’t for another two hours. Jack’s in the shower, and he’d hate it if you left without saying goodbye.” Quinn raised his eyebrows at you as you both took a sip of coffee.
“Watching Jack try and untangle himself from you on the couch did provide me with my morning entertainment though. Surprised he didn’t end up with another injury given how clumsy he usually is.” You felt your cheeks get warm at Quinn’s comment and the smirk on his face.
“He could’ve just woken me up…” You offered weakly, shrugging your shoulders in an attempt at nonchalance.
“No offence, but that was a risk that neither of us are willing to take. Not after last summer.” Quinn bit back a laugh as you narrowed your eyes at him.
Last summer at the lake house, you’d stayed up all night trying to finish the latest novel in your favourite fiction series. Jack had come into your room to wake you for the boat day you’d discussed the day before, but instead of a gentle approach to waking you up, he’d literally jumped onto your bed. Which caused you to sit bolt upright and “accidentally” punch him in the face. At least he thought the black eye made him look tough for a couple of weeks.
“Nice jacket, by the way.” You tried to change the subject.
Quinn stood up straight and puffed out his chest.
“You think so? Jack and I got to go down to Hermés and pick out our outfits yesterday. I felt suuuuper out of my league to be honest.”
Your eyes widened at the brand name Quinn just dropped, slightly choking on your coffee.
“Hermés? That’s proper designer, Q. Like, tens of thousands of dollars of jacket, right?”
Quinn didn’t answer you, but he didn’t have to. The look on his face told you that the jacket he was wearing was worth more than six months of your rent. Maybe more.
“Well, we have to do this red carpet thing, and I figured we should probably try a bit harder than team merch.” Quinn reached over and tugged playfully on the sleeve of your hoodie.
Well, Jack’s hoodie. That you happened to be wearing. Which was previously super comfortable, but now felt like your skin was on fire underneath it.
“What time is it, anyway?” There you go again, changing the subject.
“Like, 9.15?” Quinn offered, pulling his phone out of his pocket and showing you the time on his home screen.
9.15? Why was that important to you? What was at 9.15?
The test. In your economics class. Worth a decent chunk of your grade. It was at 9.30am. But was it online or on campus?
You downed the rest of your coffee in one gulp, ignoring how it burned your throat, and thrust your mug back at Quinn before tugging the hoodie over your head and throwing it on the floor. You turned around, searching wildly for your phone and spotting it on the couch where you’d been sleeping, not that long ago. You lunged for it, frantically unlocked and trying to find your university schedule in the calendar app.
“Oh thank god. It’s online. Holy fuck.” You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm yourself down.
“Sugar? You okay?” Jack’s voice cut through your thoughts, and you looked up from your phone to see him standing in the doorway to his room.
Clad in black jeans, with a towel around his shoulders and his hair still damp from the shower. Shirtless. Of course he was shirtless. You squeezed your eyes shut out of instinct, and also to stop yourself from blatantly checking him out. When you opened them, Jack was striding towards you, his face etched in concern.
“What do you need?” Jack spoke quietly, but firmly, reaching out to rub your arms reassuringly. His touch sent a zap of electricity through you, which seemed to kick your brain back into gear.
“I need… Do you have a laptop I can borrow? I have an online test in 15 minutes that I forgot about, for a subject I’m almost failing, and if I miss the test then I don’t know that I’ll be able to recover my grade.” You half-whispered, almost wishing that Jack and Quinn couldn’t hear your confession out loud.
You were supposed to be the smart one. That’s what everyone said, when you were growing up. You were the brains, Jack was the beauty. You were the bookish one, he was the brutally athletic one. Talking about failing university out loud was suddenly terrifying, even though you’d known it was a possibility for a few weeks or more.
“Hey… hey.” Jack squeezed your arms, trying to centre you, and dropped his head down to your eye level. “It’s okay. I’ve got a laptop you can use, and you can stay here for as long as you need.”
All you could muster was a nod in response, and Jack leaned in to kiss your forehead before disappearing back into his room, presumably to find his laptop. You sat back down on the couch, suddenly unsure of what to do with yourself.
Quinn had briefly left to place your coffee mug in the kitchenette, but he was back and leaned over the back of the couch to squeeze your shoulder.
“You’ll smash it, kiddo. Make sure you ask Jack what his laptop password is though, I’d hate for you to get locked out during your test.” Quinn said quietly, before his phone rang and he stepped into his room to answer it.
“Here you go, sunshine. Fully charged, but the charger is in my room if you need it.” Jack was back in the living room, handing his laptop to you, already logged in and a web browser open for you.
You stood up from the couch and moved towards the dining table, setting the laptop down and pulling out a chair. It only took a minute to log into your university portal and navigate to the subject page you needed for the online test. You were about to click the start button, when Quinn’s comment flashed in your mind.
“Jack?” You squeaked, turning to face the couch where Jack had flopped down moments before. Still clad in black jeans, still fucking shirtless, absolutely ignorant of the effect he was having on your ability to breathe calming, mindlessly scrolling on his phone.
“What’s up?”
“What’s… what’s your password? In case I get locked out and you’re not here? Could you write it down for me please?”    You reached for the hotel notepad and complimentary pen that was on the table you were sitting at, waving them in Jack’s direction.
Jack rolled his bottom lip under his teeth as he stood up and took the notepad from you and began scribbling on it.
“I have to go downstairs and meet Bratter for some team social media stuff, but I’ll see you later, okay? Text me when you finish your test.” You’d never seen Jack move so quickly as he handed the notepad back to you, retrieved a shirt and jacket from his bedroom and disappeared out the hotel room door, all within a minute or two. 
You were confused, to say the least. You glanced down at the notepad Jack had thrust into your hands, and you could’ve sworn your heart stopped when you saw what he scrawled on it.
Password - SugarpluM2001Jh!
Quinn had headed out not long after Jack did, leaving you to complete your test in silence. Despite the disorienting start to your morning, and all of your revision notes being on your desk at home, you managed to scrape through with a 75% result which would supplement your final grade significantly. 
The waves of relief washed over you, as you clicked out of web page you were on. You reached for your phone and typed a quick message to Jack as promised, and you were confused when the laptop chimed with a notification noise. 
Oh. Oh. Jack’s laptop was linked to his phone, and his messages were suddenly popping up on the laptop screen in front of you. 
You shouldn’t pry. You knew that. Your logical brain was telling you to close the laptop screen and get going. But your anxiety brain was telling you that you should take a peek. Just a little one. 
Before your logical brain and anxiety brain could battle it out properly, the laptop notification chimed again, and a girl’s name that was not your own flashed up on the screen. 
What happened last night? I thought you were coming to my room after your dinner?? Xx
You felt your jaw drop, as you started to realise what was happening in this conversation you shouldn’t have been privy to. You froze, as the little bubble popped up in the chat, showing you that Jack was typing a reply.
Sorry babe i got caught up with some boring family bullshit, you know how it is. Would’ve rather have been with you obvs but i just couldn’t get away. Then today is crazy with media stuff anyway. I’ll see u at the drew house event tonight though? Go back to yours after that? Xo
Sounds great. I’ll be wearing this for you, J. *image attached*
You slammed the laptop shut when the image loaded, showing someone wearing a red and black lingerie set. 
You felt bad for snooping, but you felt worse knowing that Jack considered last night as “boring family bullshit”. Is that all it was? Were you stupid for thinking it was more? That it could ever be more between the two of you?
Or was that all you could ever hope to be? Like family. Forever intertwined, always floating in each other’s orbit, but never more than friends. Platonic soulmates at best, childhood acquaintances at worst. 
You were spiralling, yet again, and your phone buzzing with a notification provided a brief reprieve. Until you saw that it was a text from Jack.
Well done on your test, champ!! Knew u could do it. See you at the draft tonight? There’s two passes in your email for you and your dad to come visit. Might even get to meet bublé, if that’s your vibe lmao
Suddenly, there was a bitter taste in your mouth. Why was he pretending like he wanted to spend time with you? When surely all he actually wanted to do was sneak off with the girl he was texting just moments ago?
You swiped into check your email app, and there were the passes as promised. You quickly scanned the email to see if they were assigned to any particular name, and all you could see was “guest of Jack Hughes” rather than you or your dad specifically. You quickly hit the “forward” button, and sent them on to your dad and your cousin Tom, who had met Jack and Quinn a handful of times over the years, and was a massive hockey fan like your dad. You knew Tom would love to go, and your dad would be happy enough to have Tom join him.
You sent through a quick message to Tom saying you weren’t feeling well and that he’d be doing you a favour by taking your pass, to which he immediately replied with lots of exclamation points and thanks. 
Next, you typed a message back to Jack.
Thanks again for the laptop and for the passes. Something’s come up so i can’t come but dad will be there with tom, hope that is ok? Didn’t want the passes to go to waste. Good luck for the draft, don’t let quinn bully you too much lol
You were hoping that Jack wouldn’t question you, or pick up on the shift in tone. Well, maybe you wanted him to sense the tone a little bit. Jack’s typing bubble popped up in the text conversation, then disappeared, then popped up again, then suddenly your phone was vibrating with a call and Jack’s name was flashing across the top of your screen. Your fingers hovered over the answer/decline buttons, before you abandoned both and dropped your phone back onto the table, letting the call go to voicemail. 
You stood up from the table and began to gather your belongings. The bitter taste was still in your mouth, but otherwise you felt nothing. Just numb. You barely realised what you were doing when your body moved towards the hotel suite door, into the elevator, through the lobby and out onto the street. You waited a few minutes for your Uber, before slipping away through the streets of downtown, and as far away from Jack as you felt you needed to be. 
By the time you got home, Jack had called you twice, and sent you about ten text messages of various question marks and confusion, and a fair amount of concern. You plugged your phone into the charger on your bedside table before heading into your bathroom for a much-needed shower.
Your shower felt like it took about 3 hours, when in reality it was probably more like 20 minutes at most. You washed your hair, and spent some time sitting down on the shower floor staring into space, pondering the events of the last 24 hours. When you finally emerged, putting on your favourite sweatpants and an old Canucks hoodie you found on your bedroom floor, you realise your phone was flashing with more notifications.
You settled down in bed before picking up your phone and scrolling through the home screen. Jack had resorted to sending you photos of sad baby pandas to elicit a response, your dad had texted you to say thank you for the passes and to feel better soon, but it was a message from Quinn that caught your eye. 
Q: What did he do? He’s freaking out. Are you okay? I can beat him up if you want me to. Or give him a hug. Just let me know which is more appropriate based on whatever the fuck he did 
You hesitated, contemplating whether to tell Quinn the truth or not. But then you remembered that Quinn had literally known you since you were four. He could tell if you were lying in a heartbeat, even over text message. 
You: Maybe just remind Jack that his text messages pop up on his laptop. See if that helps him to figure it out lmao sorry to miss tonight quinny, hope you draft all the canucks you want xo
Q: He now looks like he’s going to throw up?? Still unsure if hugging or punching is required tbh
New message - Jack Hughes -
You sighed and rolled your eyes, before clicking on Jack’s message notification. 
I am an idiot. I’m so sorry, sugar. I swear i am.
Sorry for categorising me as “boring family bullshit” or sorry that you got caught trying to get your dick wet? Or sorry for pretending to be my friend when you apparently just tolerate me to be polite?
We have press for two more hours then i can call you. You’re my best friend, sugar. I love you.
You felt tears start to prick in your eyes as you read Jack’s message. Sure, he loved you. But not in the same way that you loved him. And right now, you felt like that would never change. 
You clicked out of your message thread with Jack without replying, and opened up your conversation with Quinn instead. 
I’ll come to the all-star game on saturday, but nothing else, if that’s okay with you? I just need some space for a bit, sorry x 
Whatever you need, kiddo. I’ll give the game passes to your dad tonight. I still don’t know what jack did, but i think not seeing you will be punishment enough for whatever it was??
You didn’t reply to Quinn’s message. You didn’t reply to any more calls or messages for the next day or so, switching between trying to catch up on study and catching up on some Netflix episodes. You were typing notes on your laptop on Saturday morning, when a New Jersey Devils Twitter alert popped up on the screen and caught your attention.
#NEWS: Jack went home to Jersey last night after participating in Thursday’s draft and Friday’s media hits. He was extremely honoured to be a part of All-Star Weekend, especially sharing it with his brother. He’s really close to returning and wanted to get back so he could continue to focus on the rest of the Devils season. 
The bitter taste you thought you’d gotten rid of suddenly returned with a vengeance. 
Jack went home to Jersey last night. You had no idea when you’d see him again. And to be completely honest, you weren’t even sure that you wanted to. Your laptop dinged again, this time with an email notification. You were confused to say the least when the new email appeared to be from an airline, with a voucher attached.
Your phone buzzed with a new text message.
I couldn’t stand being there knowing you’re mad at me, but i also don’t want to force you to talk to me when you’re not ready to talk yet either. Use the voucher to come to jersey whenever you want. I’m sorry. 
You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, torn between accepting Jack’s offer and wanting to be stubborn and not let go of being mad at him just yet. You hated what Jack had done, but you also hated yourself for cutting short your time with him that was already in short supply as it was.
I’ll let you know. Might be a flight to Jersey, might be a flight to Michigan. We’ll see. Good luck getting back out there!
You knew the Michigan comment was a cheap shot, but Jack had hurt you, so you wanted to be childish and hurt him back. The idea of not seeing him for almost four months until the summer break, where you’d all gather at the Hughes lake house as you did every year, made you feel slightly ill. 
Whatever you want, sugar. Mac n cheese in michigan on me. Love you. 
The mac and cheese comment made you smile, and the love you comment made you want to cry. 
Love you too, J. Maybe too much. I don’t know. I need time. x
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earthtooz · 9 months
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x : AFTERGLOW :*+゚ it's all me, just don't go !
in which: rin doesn't realise what he has until it's gone. now that you're gone, he will do anything to get you back.
warnings: 5.2k wc, ANGST TO FLUFF, breakup, toxic relationship towards the beginning, rin is really mean to gn!reader, hopeful ending, rin is devastatingly in love and pathetic, reader and rin are adults + he's a soccer player, other characters make an appearance and are friends with reader, mentions of throwing up, mentions of food, both reader and rin cry, just listen to taylor swift's 'afterglow'.
a/n: FINALLY, THIS FIC THAT I STARTED ALL THE WAY BACK IN APRIL IS DONE. GOODNESS. i have mixed feelings towards this piece, but i cannot withhold it from the world any longer. i'm going to forget i ever wrote this and move on! this literally took three drafts to finish.
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you don’t know when your relationship with itoshi rin began to crumble since it isn’t an event that can be pinpointed, not a date that can be marked in your calender, and most certainly not a reminder you can set in your phone. 
your friends keep telling you that you need to think back on it, that although it hurts, it was a necessary step in healing and getting over him. the more you reflect on it, however, your heart would only shatter into more fragments, with each one piercing you with the memories of better times. 
when did his expression turn sour? when did he begin looking at you with such disdain? when did he decide he didn’t need you anymore?
when did rin’s chips of insecurity wedge themselves between you?
the only memory that serves as an answer occurred at 7:00 pm one regular night. if you think hard enough, you can remember how the plush couch cushions sank under your weight, the clicks of the clock that had a second hand minutely too fast, and the sinking feeling of premonition in your gut. 
the latest rin ever comes back is 6:00, and if not, he would have let you known why he wasn’t home.
so where was he? the takeout you bought for dinner is getting cold and your stomach is growing louder and more impatient by the second. you didn’t want to eat without him though since it’s something you did daily; eating together as a way of debriefing and letting go of the stress that the day brought.
after an onslaught of unanswered phone calls from you, at 7:15, rin merely texts a ‘won’t be home for a while. eat without me’, and although rin was naturally curt and straightforward, the text had a depravity of… him, somehow. either way, his message causes a swirl of emotions in your stomach; unpleasant ones that begin to grow a nauseous shade of green.
you put rin’s takeaway in the fridge regardless, sending him a quick text telling him to be safe and that you’ll see him soon. 
he probably got caught up with something. you’re sure it’ll be fine. 
you shouldn’t have ignored that sinking feeling of premonition. shouldn’t have pushed down the unease swirling in your stomach when shutting the door to the refrigerator before stalking over to the kitchen island with slow steps as you prepare to eat in silence. no one to keep you company except your own thoughts and the ghost of rin’s presence.
and when rin does come home almost two hours later, he stills calls your name as usual, you still go to him as usual, he greets you with a tired smile as usual, you hug him as usual, he doesn’t kiss the top of your forehead, though. you ignore it, pushing your thoughts aside because he was home. he finally came back. you’ll wake up tomorrow and this uneasy feeling will sort itself out.
except it doesn’t.  
from that night onwards, rin changes. slowly, but surely, the cracks of change manifest in your relationship and through it all, you choose to cast a blind eye, plastering over it with sightless belief in your love. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the queasy feeling in your gut never stills. it fades at times when your mind is busy with other things, but it inevitably gets drawn back into the whirlpool of concern regarding your lover- or, rather, rin.
you think you’re still in a relationship, but you don’t really know anymore. you haven’t seen him in a while. the only indication of his existence that you get are the stray bowls he leaves on the kitchen counter whenever he’s done eating, the lessening weight of his protein powder containers, and the decrease of various food items from the fridge that you restock here and there.
it feels like you’re living with a ghost.
some nights, when it gets the most lonely, your mind betrays you, completely eliminating any and all trust you had in rin. 
you wonder if there’s another person. another lover that he feels more passionately for. another lover that his heart had gravitated towards, abandoning yours in the process. perhaps that is the explanation behind his absence. 
but no evidence points towards that conclusion. there has been no suspicious deduction of bills from his bank statement that would suggest infidelity, his location is constantly at the sports stadium whenever you check, and there are no traces of a lover on him- not even you. 
it is not totally blasphemous to assume that itoshi rin wouldn’t be engrossed in soccer to the point that he’d spend unhealthy and obsessive hours into honing his abilities, but it feels a little traitorous that he could forget about life outside of the sport. it isn’t just you he’s neglecting. his mother and father have been constantly asking when he’ll come over to spend some time together, his teammates have been asking you about rin’s whereabouts and when he’ll be free and what’s worse is that you never know how to answer every time. 
it’s embarrassing to be seen as a lover that is forgettable enough for rin to dismiss, so you lie and lie and lie, telling everyone that you’ll tell them later, that he’s fine and just busy, and you lie to yourself. you tell yourself that rin will be home soon so you two can talk about it, and then everything will return to normal.
(your reflection looks through your facade, disheartened and worried.)
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“why are you late?” 
you jump at the voice that greets you when you step foot in the apartment and the sight before you causes you to wonder just how tired you feel, because rin is in your apartment, where he’s meant to be, for once. not only that, but he’s leaning against the couch, adorned in loungewear and slippers, and the sight is too foreignly domestic for your comprehension. 
coming home to a house with someone there feels nice. 
he’s lost a little bit of muscle and fat, but his frame is still as intimidating; shoulders broad and built, just the faintest indicator into the athletic body he’s developed over the years. his hair is a little longer too. 
“oh, rin, hi.” you mutter, surprise evident in your tone.
“hello.”
“since i got a promotion,” you respond simply. rin makes no move to approach you, no initiative to take your bag and put it on the couch for you. instead, he stays rooted in his position leaning against the couch, arms crossed.
the air around him feels hostile, and suddenly you’re almost afraid to speak. “and does that promotion change your work hours or something?”
(he doesn’t congratulate or celebrate your achievement.)
“i work with flexible hours now but the office is further and the commute is so bothersome.”
rin uncrosses his arms with a thoughtful hum, gaze glued to the floor, mind occupied. you approach him slowly, pulling your bag off your shoulder and setting it in the entrance near the genkan with a thud, the sound sobering to him.
when he looks back up, you don’t want to acknowledge the emptiness in his icy eyes, barren of the usual determination that defined itoshi rin. but if you knew that that day would be the beginning of the end, perhaps you would have done something about it.
when you opened your arms for him, perhaps you would have hugged him a little tighter, a little longer, strained all the stress out of his shoulders.
perhaps you would have protected him a little harder from the cruelties of his own mind; shown him that the world was not out to get him, and that there was a place for people like him in the world (people who can’t see their own value and instead, berate themselves for their waning self-worth because they cannot see the light behind them).
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“i’m going to shower,” rin declares once the moment both of you step in the safety of your shared home.
“no, you’re not! not before we talk,” you demand, hurriedly taking off your shoes so you can face him before he slips out of your grasp. the dark-haired turns to look at you with an unamused expression, the way tonight seemed to drag on obviously taking a toll on him.
“you’re gonna stop me from taking a shower, really?”
“yes because what the fuck was going on with you tonight?”
he narrows his eyes into slits, the pure intimidation that rin naturally emanates almost threatening you into submission. however, for the humiliation you’ve had to endure tonight, you won’t budge.
“i don’t understand,” rin says monotonously. you roll your eyes.
“you don’t understand? what’s that supposed to mean?”
“i don’t know what you’re getting mad over.”
“the fact that you didn’t even try to talk to me- let alone look at me, once this entire night?”
your partner looks away, crossing his arms over his chest. “that’s an exaggeration,” he huffs.
“no it’s not!” you recall the looks of pity sent your way when rin sat beside you unmoving and unresponsive to any conversation you tried to make. “would it have killed to show you some sort of interest?”
“would it kill you to not receive attention for one night?” he retaliates. 
“it’s not about that-”
“really? sure feels like it. i don’t have time to shower you with all my attention, y/n, there are other things i have to do.” 
there are a million things you want to say to rin, a million emotions that you have felt whilst he’s been absent, a million examples of how he’s been leaving you behind and how you’re now fed up of keeping these millions to yourself. yet, not a word leaves you, too stunned by the stranger in front of you to voice it all out. 
rin, however, takes your silence as defeat and turns to leave.
“you’re being dramatic. i’m going to shower before i waste anymore time with this lukewarm conversation.” 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the night your relationship officially fell apart is one you still remember vividly, because it only happened a few days ago.
in your memory, the night was nearing 9pm, yet rin had still not come home. 
your heart takes you to him because as much as your relationship with him has caused you nothing but pain recently, you know itoshi rin. you know him because you’re soulmates and where he goes, there’s a fragment of your heart that follows. 
the drive to the practice pitch is nothing but heavy. heavy with your anticipation and stress, you feel your chest constrict and tighten, especially when you pull up into the very empty parking lot. 
“rin!” you shout for the fifth time and only then, does the dark-haired look up at you from where he’s doing dribbling drills. he almost trips over the ball from your interruption. 
“wha- oh,” he turns away just before you can catch the roll of his eyes, the snarl of frustration (one that lovers should never bare at each other). “what do you want?”
you pause a few feet away from him, utterly gobsmacked with the attitude your partner was showing you. after driving all this way, the least you’d want is a little concern, but alas.
“it’s time to go,” you stand your ground. “i’m here to pick you up.”
“yeah, right, i’m not going home.”
“that’s ridiculous! are you not tired?”
“no.”
“rin. c’mon, that’s enough, you need to rest.”
“what the fuck do you know about being enough?” he asks.
the silence is deafening and most hurtful. 
you stammer out the only response you can, “wh-what?”
he doesn’t give you anything. unrelenting, he is. rin has always been the embodiment of stubbornness served cold. not finding much productivity in his silence, you continue speaking with a wavering voice. “let’s go home. please, you shouldn’t be working yourself like this-”
“-leave me the fuck alone!” he finally comes undone. “can’t you see that i don’t have time to deal with headaches like you?”
the thread keeps unravelling.
“fucking lukewarm. i can’t deal with this right now, i don’t need you here.”
“fine,” you murmur. rin has his back turned against you and he prepares himself to kick another ball. “i’ll leave then since you don’t need me.”
when rin arrives home that night, he reasons the unease churning in his stomach on the physical exertion of practice as nothing is out of place. the apartment is as kept and tidy as it typically is, the lights are off because you’ve gone to bed, and there is a meal on the kitchen counter sealed by plastic wrap.
he won’t eat it because he’ll want to throw up otherwise, so rin tucks it neatly into the fridge, not thinking twice about the emptiness on the shelves, right where your favourite drinks are normally kept. 
the athlete washes up quickly and efficiently, a good night’s rest sounding too appealing for his battered body that felt as heavy as lead. 
that night, sleep takes rin and lulls him into a temporary sanctuary, protecting him from the reality that he would wake up to. because when morning comes, he will turn and find that you are not beside him like he expects you to be. your side of the bed is untouched, devoid of any warmth or indicator that you were there.
he checks the bathroom- you’re not there. he calls your name in the hallway- you don’t respond. he scans the kitchen, the study, the living room, and finds nothing but loneliness in each room. there’s no text from you indicating that you were elsewhere.
you’ll return, though. rin’s sure of it.
except you don’t, the hours pass by with rin anticipating your return, and his confidence slowly dwindles with each minute. by the time it’s been 24 hours since he last saw you, his patience runs thin. finding your contact, rin presses the ‘call’ button and is surprised that it does not go through, stopping him after only one ring when an automated voice says ‘this caller is unavailable’. 
the dark-haired stares at your contact in contempt, furrowing his eyebrows when all of his following attempts receive the same treatment, but rin continues stubbornly because you couldn’t have blocked him, right?
was it because of what he said? he didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean to blow up on you like that- how is he supposed to say sorry if he can’t even reach you?
checking his private accounts on various social media, he sees that you’ve blocked him there too. running in to the master bedroom and checking the closet, half of your clothes are missing, and the bag you keep on the shelf is missing too. the bathroom lacks some of your products, your laptop and various chargers are gone from your study space, and the heaviness of your absence hits itoshi rin like a train.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
you never did come around to collect your stuff. rin finds a little bit of pain in that fact.
he feels like a ghost, haunted by the trinkets of you that remain littered around his apartment. he doesn't have the heart to throw them out, not when they're the closest thing to you he can get.
a few times rin sees you in his dreams. a few times he sees you in his nightmares, looking completely hurt and run-down by his recklessness and neglect, but most mornings he wakes up feeling emptier, no one to turn to on your side on the bed. not anymore. there’s no body to hold when he needs it most, there’s no one to keep him company whilst he eats dinner, there’s no love. not since the day you left.
you, on the other hand, find it odd to live life without a second person in the periphery. you thought rin was the one for you, you never had any thoughts about what life could be without him because you were certain that it would be him that you spent the rest of your years with, so learning to accommodate without him is gnawing you away, the little bug of loneliness festing on your newfound independence. 
you’re seated on the floor of your best friend’s living room when reo texts one day, interrupting your apartment hunt.
reo: Are you still coming to my party?
you scrunch your eyebrows at the text, unknowing of where it was coming from.
y/n: not anymore. what’s up?
reo: Why not :( reo: Please it’d be so fun
y/n: don’t you know that rin and i broke up?
reo: Ok but he’s definitely not coming reo: It’s Rin, he doesn’t have a life so you’re fine. Pls say you’ll come
reo: Plus he’s been all mopey ever since so I don’t think he’s in a party mood
you dutifully ignore the last part of reo’s statement. after a little more coaxing, he finally manages to get you to agree to come, but not without a feeling of apprehension settling in your gut. still, it would be a shame to miss out on an invitation from a friend because of it. 
besides, reo’s bargain of offering to buy your outfit was too tempting to let go. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“practice was rough,” bachira murmurs, flopping on the sides of the soccer field with a sigh. his sweat causes his hair and clothes to cling to his skin, and isagi takes a seat on the bench beside his best friend, tossing the dual-tone haired his water bottle.
wiping the sweat off his forehead, isagi agrees with a hum. “i know. i just want to go home.”
“i don’t know how rin does this, staying overtime and all of that.”
“he’s insane. it only got worse after his breakup and everything.”
bachira frowns, looking over to where the dark-haired in question is standing. “i feel bad for rin-rin, seems like he’s not taking it well at all.”
a beat of silence passes before bachira speaks again. “you know y/n’s coming to reo’s party this weekend?” 
the black-haired wipes his mouth before setting the water bottle down. “really?”
“yeah. reo told me.”
“that’s nice, it’s been a while since we’ve seen y/n so it’d be nice to catch up.”
“i wonder if rin knows.”
“i doubt it,” isagi reassures, “he hardly goes to parties like the one reo’s throwing.”
“maybe that’s why y/n agreed in the first place.”
“probably.”
a cold voice suddenly cuts the two from their conversation “y/n’s going to reo’s party?” 
isagi feels his blood cool over before looking up. there, stands itoshi rin, who has a frazzled, yet equally determined look in his eyes, one that isagi has not seen in a while (not since you left). “what? no! where did you hear that from?” 
bachira laughs nervously, “you’re hearing things, rin-rin!
but they are soccer players, not actors or professional liars. “shut the fuck up, asshats. y/n’s going to reo’s party this weekend?”
the two exchange a look and their silence is the only answer rin needs. 
“hold on, you’re not thinking of going, are you?” isagi asks, accepting defeat and now switching tactics.
“why wouldn’t i? my partne-” he pauses. “y/n is gonna be there.”
“yes but-”
“-you can’t stop me from going, so don’t even think about it.”
without another word, rin is gone, stalking away with a scary determination that was previously dormant. 
“what did we just do?” bachira mumbles. “should we tell y/n?” 
“nah.”
“agreed.”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
you should have never come to this party.
how stupid and foolish of you, but how utterly cruel of the universe to let you hurt like this, to let the same pain that has walked all over you for the past few months return; this time ramming into you with the ferocity of a bull, knocking the air out of your lungs
“y/n!” comes the dreaded call of your name. you walk a little faster, breaking into an-almost sprint.
“y/n!” 
“for fucks sake- y/n!” this cry of your name is broken, rasped and pathetic, and your chests clenches from how pained it sounds. like a howl from an injured wolf, it is broken enough for you to pity it, luring you into a trap that will inevitably end in chunks being torn from your heart, but you don’t have much left to spare, so you keep running, no matter how badly you want to give in.
except it’s not enough to deter rin, nothing ever be when there’s a goal in sight, especially one so close that he can taste it.
“y/n, please, i need to talk to-”
“-go away, rin!” you cut him off, hugging yourself tighter to shield yourself against the cold and rin’s pleas from piercing you. 
“not until you listen to me!”
fury powers you, igniting you with the courage to turn around and finally face him. you don’t look him in the eye, keeping your gaze elsewhere, but he shuts up nevertheless, awestruck by finally being able to see you face-to-face after being so long away from you. all words die on his throat, withering away to nothing as his eyes slightly widen in shock.
you’re just as beautiful as the day you left; perhaps even more so.
rin wonders if your radiancy was birthed by his absence, and if the answer is ‘yes’, he might wither away on the spot.
“it’s always about you isn’t it?” you shout. “always about what you want and never about what others want. you said you wanted me to leave, so i did! what more could i possibly give?” 
he gulps, utterly entranced as his heart makes itself known in his chest, racing wildly and vividly; the first indication that it was alive and hadn’t been replaced by a gaping hole in your absence. he hasn’t felt this human since you left. 
“i didn’t mean for you to actually leave,” rin confesses shakily. 
“well, it didn’t seem like you wanted me to stay either.”
“no, that’s not-” he falters. “it’s… not the same without you.”
you hug yourself tighter. “i don’t believe you, you’re just saying that now that there’s nobody to warm your bed.”
“no, it’s not like that- i don’t like living without you,” the athlete continues, admitting something so heavy with such airiness.
“you can’t just say that after so long. not when you’ve been living without me months before we broke up.”
there are a million and one things that rin wants to say to you, but none of them break through the whirlwind that is his thoughts, rattling around in his brain on overdrive and overwhelming him with the intensity of them all. one thing he knows for sure is that you are the single muse behind all of them, the only thing that is keeping him sane amongst the flurry of disturbances.
then, you shiver from the chilly breeze of the night, and the whirlwind is silenced into oblivion to awaken a dormant instinct of his instead. one that commands him to fulfil a duty that he’s not inclined to do anymore.
quickly, rin takes off his jacket and holds it out to you, as if expecting you to take it. 
he drops it when you don’t, hope dwindling in his stomach.
swallowing weakly, he then asks “would you ever give me a second chance?”
“you’ll hurt me again,” you glance away, the street lamps highlighting the melancholy in your profile as rin observes you closely. his eyes outline the curves of your face, each divet and slope that he used to trace with his hands now out of his reach. “you take and you take, but you never give and i’m so tired of it.”
“don’t say that,” he pleads, voice barely louder than a whisper as the dark-haired takes a heavy step towards you. “you’ll break my heart.”
“i shouldn’t love you anymore, you’re bad for me.”
“then i’ll be good- i’ll become whatever you want me to be-”
“-we won’t work like that.”
“we’ll work as long as i’m yours again, just, let me fix us, i’ll do whatever it takes. i’m not giving up like this.” 
the first tear makes herself known and paths the way for your downfall like a tsunami, washing away whatever you had built up during your time away from itoshi rin; the good and the bad. the hurt and the healing, all undone by a singular, stray tear. in your vision, he becomes nothing but a blur, a kaleidoscope of colours that you once loved.
a kaleidoscope of colours that you still love, much to the chagrin of your broken heart. 
a hand wraps around your wrist, a warm shackle that grounds you to rin like he’s your lifeline. no matter how bad you want to push him away, something in you will always bend to him. 
“don’t cry,” he pleads, voice airy and breathy. “i’m sorry, please don’t cry.”
please don’t cry because of me.
“i don’t want to be with you if it means i need to go through all of that again.” you whisper, slipping out of his grasp like sand and wiping away your own tears, rejecting his callous and prickly touch. 
rin’s world dims as panic seizes his throat. “please don’t say that, you don’t mean it.”
“i do though. you left me first, don’t you know?” 
“-i do.”
“and now i’m not yours to care about anymore-”
“i know, i know,” words are merely spilling out of his mouth without much purpose at this point, because he’ll do anything just to delay you leaving, to push back the possibility of you turning around and never seeing you again. why did he have to break who he loved so much? 
still, he pleads for another chance, desperation shining in his eyes as pure longing fills him. you have always been too good to him, he knows, but like the tumultuous tides and their inability to stray too far from the shore, rin will come back to you with his undying devotion. 
even if he thinks you should find someone better than him, that you should be adored by someone who could love you so much better, he can’t let go. to let you go is to let go the one good thing that came to him in life, 
you exhale shakily. “we’ve loved each other for too long.” 
“what do you mean?” he stutters, eyes widening helplessly. 
“i have loved you too much for too long, rin,” you choke, “there has to be an end to us somewhere in sight- you need to accept that.”
“no,” his look of absolute devastation causes a physical recoil in your stomach. “no- not long enough, it’ll never be enough, fuck- even forever won’t be long enough, i can’t let you go like that.”
he crosses the distance between you in the blink of an eye. you can’t see him clearly under the dim light of the night, but you can feel him, so close and so overwhelming, but so cold as his hands come to grasp yours. his grip is firm, not enough to hurt, but enough for you to feel his determination. 
tears dance along his lashline. 
“please, tell me you’re still mine,” begs the dark-haired. rin’s tears are diamonds, in which they are precious, but they also crumble into a precious waterfall that rolls down his cheeks, tempting you towards his beautiful ruination. 
words continue to tumble out of him, each one sharpened to pierce your defences. “tell me that we’ll be fine, that i’m all you want, please. i’m so fucking sorry for hurting you, but please don’t leave me. 
i’ll fix us, i’ll become everything you need, i’ll be good.”
the dark-haired’s hands find their way to your face, cupping each side of your jaw with a scary gentleness; one that you’d never expect from someone as ragged as itoshi rin. 
“i love you,” he declares, so raw, so full of passion that it makes you sick. the rin you know never lets his heart on his sleeve like this. 
you cave. “how will you fix us?” 
slowly. he’ll rebuild everything that you have given him.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
first, rin takes you out on dates again. calls you beautiful and really means it.
second, rin leaves practice at regular times, and listens when you tell him that he needs to take care of himself. because for you, he will. 
third, rin picks you up from work. his practice ends a little earlier than your job, so he always goes the extra mile to be there for you at the end of the day. even if you tell him that he doesn’t need to go out of his way to do so, he’d rather see you get home safe than only receiving a mere text of confirmation. 
plus, it gives rin more time with you.
fourth, rin sends you regular gifts. from bouquets, to random items that he just knows you’d like, they all get left at your door at the best times. 
fifth, rin lets you set the pace. you wanted things to go slow so that you two didn’t have to force anything back in place. no point recreating something that’s in the past, you reasoned, so might as well try again.
sixth, rin takes his time in welcoming you back into his space. it’s a few months after you two have reconciled, and majority of your items are back where they belong (you poked fun at him for not being able to throw away the stuff you did leave, and he just mumbled something indecipherable, all embarrassed, before moving on). the life has been restored in his apartment, now filled with more remnants of you loitering around his space: your various chargers and laptop, your products, your clothes, they all sit beside his things like that’s where they are meant to be.
and you are back in his arms, because it is where you are meant to be (more for his sake than yours).
rin stirs awake one morning under the gentle light of the morning sun and you’re there beside him, occupying the space that he has left devastatingly empty. mattress still curved to your frame as he never dared infiltrate it, in hopes that you would return.
now that you have, you feel too warm, too familiar, too unreal that he wonders if you’re just another dream of his. 
then, you stir, and press yourself closer against his chest, face to face with the heart that only beats for you.
a stray tear rolls down rin’s face; a salvation for the utter relief he feels, as well as the overwhelming amount of adoration that he stores for you. his ‘i love you’ is sweeter than the chirping of the birds outside, and certainly more meaningful as he wraps more of himself around your sleeping figure, hoping to attach all of him to all of you. 
you’re home. he won’t let you leave again.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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inf3ct3dd · 2 months
Text
loser!ellie headcanons pt.6
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summary: ellieeee my chiquitita my baby my love
warnings: none :3
authors note: ik yall missed herrrr
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masterlist. help palestine.🇵🇸
- ellie tries to be soooo cool and wear her cool people jackets (leather jackets, canvas, those carhartt hoodie jackets etc) but they’re very not helpful against the cold and you’ll be out with her and shes just SHIVERING the whole time…
- she’s obsessed w those “general knowledge quizzes” on tiktok. that girl is a hoe for trivia she’s sitting on her bed at three in the morning saying her answers OUT LOUD while she watches them. she gets so upset when she gets literally any wrong… “man…im not a quiz master 🙁”
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- ik in the games she walks around with her little journal and shit but i feel like shes definitely jus constantly typing shit in her notes app… random thoughts and jokes and shit that she most definitely shows you at the end of the day
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- she barely ever baby talks to babies… she’ll go up to a baby and just be like “wassup dude” and have a full blown conversation with him while the babies just sitting there babbling and giggling at her
- thinks those “im nothing like yall” slideshows r so hilarious…. like you’ll be on the couch and she’s just giggling at her phone at paracetamol 😞
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- references the most niche memes ever constantly and literally googles them to explain herself. you guys went camping and she said “boy you want hot dog” and you were like ????
- so strangely particular about how her stuff is arranged 😭 her desk looks like an absolute hot mess 90% of the time but SHE UNDERSTANDS IT and if u try and organize it for her she just puts it back how it was
- always says “guys” and “yall” when she’s talking to literally one person. and CHAT. she just constantly adds it into conversation like “chat how are you today”
- loves asking if things are “fire.” she’ll cook you something and you take a bite and shes like “is that shit fire???” she has to know
- obsessed with “i barely know her” jokes. the second someone says something ending in er shes like “rider??? i barely know her!!” and she’s laughing her ass off
- that girl will go HAM on some mac and cheese. but it can only be really good baked mac or the shitty kraft mac and cheese. she puts like- hella pepper and red chili flakes in it and eats it straight out of the pot 🔥 its always at like three in the morning and you just walk in the kitchen to her with a pot in her lap watching glee or some shit
- SPEAKING. OF. glee is most definitely one of her guilty pleasure shows…like shes rewatched it a million times and glee cast was one of her top artists on apple music wrapped
- shes an apple music user. send tweet.
- got yelled at by an old lady once cuz she picked her flowers out of her front yard and gave them to you
- when i tell you that girl goes ham on those tiny clementines… she’ll eat like 10 in one day and theres just PEELS. EVERYWHERE.
- also she fw grapes heavy. especially green grapes (shes a weird little freak red grapes are so much better)
- OBSESSED WITH THOSE BLIND BAG SHITS. especially mini brands oh my god she definitely has the whole lil grocery store set and she’s so obsessed with it.
- her house slippers are definitely just a pair of crocs with the fur inside and a bunch of stupid ass jibbits. she buys the mega packs off amazon and changes them whenever shes bored
- has SO MANY drafts on tiktok and they’re all her trying filters staring at the screen like 😯
- most annoying person to sleep next to ever . snoring, sleep talking, moving around CONSTANTLY and hitting you accidentally, the only way she sleeps peacefully is if you’re holding her or she’s holding you, otherwise shes insane
- weirdly into linguistics…that girl is using humongous words for no good reason just for fun and half the time she has no idea what they mean and when she googles them and shes right about the definition she does that little fist pump and “fuck yes”
- speaking of. that girl is SPEEDRUNNING DUOLINGO . she’s fluent in (bad spaniard) spanish from it, and just learns random languages for fun. you speak a different language? she’s learning it immediately. definitely leaves notes for you in random languages she learned and you have to pull out a translator to understand wtf shes talking about… she also sleep talks in spanish sometimes and its so funny
- loves trying out different recipes…like i said my girl is a CHEF she will be at home fucking up a salmon bake she made and making you homemade pho for dinner
- had a phase when she was younger when she was really into the la bamba movie and dressed like richie valens for two years
- also cried so hard when she watched selena with you…that girl was devastated 💔 every time she hears “dreaming of you” she almost sheds a tear
“when that yolanda bitch gets out of prison….im shooting someone . its obvious who its gonna be.”
- she definitely begged joel to buy her a gun for christmas and he would take her to the range all the time so she can SHOOT. that girl is goated at lazer tag she gets down…does not play
- thought that candy cigarettes were the coolest thing ever when she was little… everywhere she went she had one hanging out of the side of her mouth and shed hold them between her fingers like they do in movies. if you two go to a candy shop shes for sure buying a pack
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ezdotjpg · 2 months
Note
do you have any directors commentary on the recent two updates? 👉👈 the color palette is absolutely lovely! and and and WOLF!! :DD
OH BOY DO I
In the original draft of this chapter, Wolf stays a, uh, wolf until like the 4th update. Instead of actually managing to get his teeth on the master sword, Loft threw him off immediately. The Deku Tree still said the line about all three of them being heroes and Slate is like. “Including the fucking dog????!” I thought it was very funny but a) it made some scenes later down the line a huge pain and b) I was tired of drawing wolves ALDKDKD
You may have noticed Wolf’s scowling in the bg of almost every panel. That’s kind of just his face, but also right now my guy is nursing the world’s biggest migraine from popping the shadow crystal out of his skull. He can stay wolfmode for a while, but it’s still technically a curse. It’s not consequence free, and there’s an upper limit for how long he can spend in that form. Anyway, cut him some slack if he’s a little prickly for a bit.
There were a lot of comments about Loft being strong enough to toss a wolf over his head lol. My hc is that he’s one of, if not the strongest Link sans any magic items like power bracelets or gauntlets. He’s actually not even as strong now as he was during his quest. Wolf maybe has him beat now, but he can still get tossed lolol
It might seem like Slate’s really taken everything that happened at the end of ch1 in stride, but don’t worry. He’s simmering. Loft is grateful for the opportunity to get distracted by something else. Maybe that’s why he was so willing to approach the wild animal he’s never seen before lol
This maybe goes without saying based on the events of the last two updates, but Slate never had wolf link with him during the events of botw. He doesn’t recognize Wolf.
I’m really glad ppl seem to be liking the colors bc I struggled with them so hard on both updates 🫠literally days of me turning to my roommate and going “I think I’ve never made anything worse” and them going “it looks good stop being dramatic” WKDJDK I have this thing where if I had an idea in my head for what an update should look like, and what I produce doesn’t meet it somehow, I start seeing in fucking. shrimp colors. Posting always gives me a confidence boost back lol.
these pages were cursed in general bc like. this doesn’t usually happen but I think I redrew every panel in this update at least 5 times each. that’s part of why it ended up being late SKDJF
I REALLY like the idea of being in the presence of the Triforce and having access to its power being this eldritch, divinely horrifying experience. The sort of thing that is impossible to explain to anyone and also haunts you forever. Loft spends a lot of time actively trying not to think about the Triforce. Just, like, remember that about him.
Like how tears in reality are shown through holes in the literal comic panels, I tried to show the concept of reality bending in the form of a panel stretching and twisting like a ribbon ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I hope that came across. Triforce lore varies a bit from game to game, but I’ve come up with my own internal logic for bonus links that combines all the ideas I like lolol. We’ll learn more about it in due time!
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I also really like this parallel :D I intentionally set up the panels so past and present loft would line up like this. i love getting to draw flashback links it’s so fun to think of ways to convey what they used to be like, and how their quests might have gone for them. Past Loft’s not having a great time by the time he reaches this point lol
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I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for asking :D
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onestopfanficshop · 1 year
Text
könig headcanons
warnings: afab!reader, mentions of unprotected sex, oral sex, thigh riding and fucking, and an (accidentally) broken condom lol
A/N: this is so self indulgent LMFAO. can you believe i've had this sitting in my drafts for over three weeks? i hope y'all enjoy bc there's not enough content for this man fr! gif not mine :)
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will use your fingers as a human fidget toy
he likes to rub his chin when he’s thinking real hard about something
loves grapes (green ones only, and they have to be cold)
the left corner of his nose constantly gets dry for whatever reason so he’s always needing to put extra lotion there
hums under his breath without realizing it and it's the cutest thing ever. especially if he’s alone with you, or if he’s just relaxed and in his element
he really loves to cook but he's too lazy to do the cleanup after he's done
has better than 20/20 eyesight; idk, i just feel deep in my soul that he does
if he's lying on his stomach and you start rubbing his back or scratching it, he'll literally melt it is the most relaxing thing in the world to him
his morning voice is super deep and raspy. i feel so strongly about this it just has to be true
is a snob about bread. he just likes a nice warm loaf of well baked bread okay?
when you first started dating, it would sometimes scare him when he would wake up in the middle of the night and see you lying there peacefully next to him; he had never shared a bed with someone else before so it took him a while to get used to it 
but once he does he literally will treat you like a human body pillow. which sounds cute in theory but it's not 😭 like if you need to go pee in the middle of the night, good luck getting yourself untangled from him without waking him up (spoiler alert: it's not really possible to do bc he's the lightest sleeper on planet earth). you can either hold it or deal with a groggy and slightly grumpy könig the next day lolol
is the clingiest bf ever. if you let him, könig will sit on the floor next to you while you’re in the bath and hold your hand if you dangle it off the side of the tub while you watch a show together
speaking of baths this man hates taking them. he's never found a tub big enough to fit him so he just doesn't bother. he hates when his skin gets super wrinkly from being in water for too long anyways
loves to put a bunch of creamers and sweeteners in his coffee. the first time you took him to starbucks he was like a kid in a candy shop when you told him all the different flavored syrups that they had
doesn't like swimming; i mean he knows how to do it (bc of his job) but it's not his favorite thing to do. he feels like the water is always working against him lol
yeah he has social anxiety but when he's with you? especially once he gets comfy with you? yeah that's a different man entirely
like he loves to tease you constantly, is very cocky, and is super funny in a witty dry humor type of way
is absolutely the type of boyfriend to keep a joke going once he sees you're laughing really hard at it just so he can continue to hear your laugh :,)
know how to make jams from scratch for some reason; his favorites are peach and strawberry jam
one time he finished making a fresh batch of jams; you tied cute little ribbons around the jars and jokingly said you were "proud of the jams we made"
könig shaking his head because you didn't do shit except for stir a few times and sneak some tastes when you *thought* he wasn't looking (he's always looking)
buuuut he loves you so he plays along and tells you that you did amazing
makes fun of you if you like to watch cheesy or dumb shows but then 10 minutes later he's on the couch next to you, fully invested and asking you who the characters are and what's going on in the plot
is bad at sharing his food. even with you. he's more than happy to get you seconds but just don't touch his food, alright?
love language is 📢PHYSICAL TOUCH📢
followed by acts of service and quality time obviously. but yeah... the man is handsy. better get used to it
nsfw
first time you guys did it, it was awkward but in a really cute way. he was very, very nervous but also overly confident at the same time somehow? it was a potent mix
he'd watched porn before and gotten himself off but he didn't really know what to expect irl. he just knew that he wanted to make you feel good
when you tried to put one of the condoms you had on him, it broke. this man is huge so EVERY part of him is huge. like it just split clean in half 😭 and he turned bright red and started apologizing profusely 
it was super intense up until that happened and you just started bursting into giggles which just made him grab your neck and kiss you to shut you up
that laughter turned into moaning real quick mhm
you eventually just told him to pull out and you would take a morning-after pill just in case; the prospect of fucking you without a condom made him more excited than he wanted to admit 
has a ridiculous amount of stamina, we're talking three rounds at the absolute LEAST
LOVES thigh fucking and cannot get enough of it. especially since he can go for a lot of rounds, and if you tire more easily, he loves it as an alternative. something about cumming all over your thighs sends him into overdrive
speaking of thighs, thigh riding? oh yeah. that'll do it for him. that'll do it! his eyes would go so wide with awe at the fact that he could make you feel that good without doing anything. especially if you wrap your hands around his neck and you're so close to his face that your noses are touching; you're panting and trying your hardest not to moan loudly so no one else will hear? he's gonna fucking fall apart
whenever he's on top of you, he's infinitely careful to not put all of his weight own you, despite you telling him multiple times that you wouldn't mind and that you could handle it
dirty talk would get him flustered but at the same time, he'd have the stupidest grin on his face if you did it 
if you wear lingerie he'll like- he'll literally die and go to heaven. especially the fancy ones with the garters and the stockings, even though he has absolutely zero clue how they work. like i'm imagining him sitting on the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him and staring right into his eyes as you guide his hands to the garters to take the stockings off (JUST GAVE MYSELF BUTTERFLIES LEMME RUN A LAP REAL QUICK)
okay i'm back where were we
i feel like what he does after you're done sort of depends on you. like if you get a huge burst of energy after sex and you wanna stay up and talk he will totally do it. but also if you're the type of person that immediately falls asleep after he'll go right to sleep with you
if he’s on top and you dig your fingers into his biceps he will bust right then and there. trust me.
THIS MAN EATS PUSSY FOR PLEASURE PERIOD. i will not accept any other truth. he’ll literally grind down into the sheets while he’s eating you out and has probably accidentally came a few times from doing so. he especially loves when your thighs squeeze around his head, and all the pretty little noises you make when he does it. as soon as he can tell you’re close he starts to give you the most intense eye contact while he’s doing it and it’ll probably send you over the edge
he loves being on top because he can cage you in and he has access to your neck to give it non-stop kisses and hickeys
but on the other hand he also loves it when you're on top; his hands will never leave your hips and he'll be gripping onto them like his life depends on it
when he cums, he cums hard and a lot. it's basically like a fountain... sometimes, when he does it while he's still inside of you, there'll be so much that it actually leaks out of you and onto the bed
was kind of self conscious about it and felt bad for making a mess until you told him it was nothing to be embarrassed about and it had actually turned you way on
for someone that doesn't prefer to talk all that much outside, this man is--whew. he is vocal like he is fucking paid to do it. especially when he's about to cum or if you're on top of him. this is a man that is not afraid to moan fr fr.
he's always asking you if you're okay and if what he's doing feels good to you. "is this alright?" is a sentence you've heard countless times and yet it still gives you goosebumps always
unspoken rule that if you're wearing his clothes you're gonna get fucked right then and there 😭 just accept it. könig seeing his SO in his clothes is always gonna do it for him!
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number1mingyustan · 4 months
Text
-Cuffing Season-
Your Call
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boyfriend!mingyu x fem!reader
Warnings: established relationship, cursing, explicit smut, mutual masturbation (m+f), virtual sex, size kink, fingering (f.)
Summary: Even a thousand miles away you still have the same effects on him
Word Count: 1.8k
_______________________________________________
(a/n: i'm baaaack!! im so sorry for going MIA I was busy with school and now that I'm on break I've had literally no motivation to write but I've got a few more drafts I'm working on so expect me to be more active!)
The hotel door swings open and Mingyu walks through it, hand already pulling at the navy blue tie draped around his neck.
He undoes it with one hand before dropping it onto the carpeted hotel floor. He lets out a sigh of pure exhaustion and leans his back against the wall as his briefcase meets the floor.
He’s been in meetings all day and tired can’t even describe what he’s feeling right now. He’s away from you in Tokyo on a business trip and he’s miserable. His days prior to this were light, a meeting here and there and a couple of conventions. But today?
Back-to-back meetings with potential investors and clients have worn him out. He hasn’t even gotten the chance to call you yet today.
For the two weeks, he’s called you at least three times and you’ve texted back and forth every day. Now it’s nearing 1am and he hasn’t spoken to you at all.
He strips himself down to his boxers and lays down on top of the bed. He scrambles for his phone and immediately dials your number.
You pick up on the first ring. “Gyu?”
“Hi baby,” He rasps.
"Was beginning to think you forgot about me," you pout.
"Never, I was just swamped. I knew it was gonna be a heavy day, but I had literally no time to myself. I just now got back to the hotel," he sighs.
"You work so hard babe," You say. "I'm proud of you, but take it easy."
He nods. "It'll only be this bad for the next few days. I think it'll be worth it though, seems like a lot of good can come out of this for the company."
You shift on the bed, making yourself more comfortable as you lie down. "That's good Gyu, I would hope so."
The call goes silent for a few moments. You can hear each other breathing lightly into the phone as you lay in comfortable silence.
"I really miss you," Mingyu says, finally breaking the silence.
"I know, I miss you too." You sigh. "I've been miserable without you. I'm so lonely here, we should've gotten like a cat or something."
Mingyu lets out a breathy chuckle. "Noted. It'll be the first thing I do when I come home next week."
"Ugh," You groan dramatically. "Don't remind me I have to wait a whole week to see you again."
You can practically hear him smiling into the phone. "A week can go by fast, don't worry. I'll be home in no time."
"Good," You smile. "Bed's cold without you here."
"Must be," He yawns.
"Yeah Gyu, I hate it. Need you here now," Your voice is just above a whisper.
"What are you wearing?" He asks.
"You want me to tell you or show you?" You ask.
"Fuck," he whispers. "Show me."
Before he can even finish his thought, his phone is already ringing with an incoming Facetime call. He presses on the green button and sees you adjusting the camera.
Your phone is leaning against something to hold it up and you're sitting crisis cross applesauce on the bed in front of him. "Hi Gyu."
"Hi pretty girl," He smirks.
He rises to his feet, holding his phone in hand as he makes his way over to the desk in his room. He sits down, angling the camera so you can see him.
"Really missed you today," You tell him.
"Missed you too," He licks his lips. "You wearing my shirt?"
You nod. "Yeah. Still smells like you and everything."
You pick up the phone, angling it down so he can see the black and white striped button-up you have on. It fits you big, coming down mid-thigh.
He rasps. "Looks good on you baby."
"It does, doesn't it?" You smirk. "Think it might look better off though, right?"
Suddenly Mingyu isn't sleepy anymore.
"Shit baby, don't do this to me. You know I'm going crazy cuz I can't touch you," He groans, tilting his head back.
"This is the next best thing, no?" You lick your lips, allowing your hand to undo the first button.
"Damn right, it is," He agrees, slipping his hand into his boxers. To no one's surprise, he's already sprouting a semi at the mere thought of having phone sex with you.
It was only a matter of time before this happened anyway. You and Mingyu would rarely go this long without being intimate with one another.
"You didn't seriously call me in nothing but your underwear and expect me not to want you Gyu," You breathe out.
"Didn't do it on purpose sweetheart," He grins.
You've already undone half the buttons of his shirt. He can see your bra peaking through the open material. His cock twitches in anticipation.
He watches like a hawk as you slide the shirt off your shoulders and let it fall off your body entirely. "Shit," he whispers.
You're kneeling in front of the camera in nothing but your bra and underwear. It's a matching lavender set that he bought you a while back.
His eyes are glued to his screen as he watches you. You play with your bra straps, sliding them off your shoulders slowly to expose your breasts to him. He lets out a low groan and feels his cock harden more in his boxers.
He's suddenly feeling suffocated by the material on his hips. He sits up, sliding his underwear off and exposing his leaking cock. He lets out a breath of relief as he wraps his hand around his length.
He swipes his thumb across the tip, using the bit of precum to lubricate his cock. He licks his lips slowly, watching you as you slide your soaked underwear off your body.
"You're so big," you whisper. You're practically drooling at the sight of his cock.
He spits on his hand and starts pumping himself slowly. "Touch yourself f'r me."
You sit back on the bed and slide your hand down between your thighs. He watches as you spread your legs, revealing just how soaked you were for him.
You let out a shaky breath as your finger circles your clit.
"Need you so bad Gyu," You whine.
'i'm here baby-fuck," he groans.
He pumps his length faster, gliding his hand along his hard cock as he watches you touch yourself. He strokes himself, swiping his hand across the sensitive tip every time he pumps himself.
"Inside me.. need you inside me," You whimper. You slip two fingers into yourself slowly. You spread your legs wider to give him a better look. You push your fingers deeper, curling your digits against your inner walls.
"Soon baby, 'm all yours." He breathes out.
"You're so big Gyu, want you to fuck me so bad-ah," You pump your fingers deeper inside of yourself, desperately trying to coax yourself toward an orgasm.
"F-fuck y/n... keep talking," He drops his head back and groans. His muscles are bulging and his grip on his cock is tightening. "Missed your voice."
Even through the low quality of your phone camera, Mingyu was still in awe of you. His eyes were hyperfixated on the way your fingers disappear deep inside of you. His hips jerk up into his fist, warm blood pumping through his veins and making his limbs grow hot with arousal.
You lean back, fingers tightening around his bedsheets clumped in your hand as you push your hips into your hand. "Hah- my fingers are hardly big enough. Need your cock baby–" You whine.
You curl your fingers the same way he does when he touches you, pressing your fingertips against your inner walls. The sensation has your toes curling with a familiar feeling building up inside of you.
His dick twitches in his hand. Fuck, he's so reactive when it comes to you. No one can make him feel the way you do. He lets out a low groan, squeezing the head of his cock to stop himself from cumming when he hears you.
You continue pushing your hips into your hand with erratic movements. You look at your screen, watching your boyfriend strokes his cock. You watch the way his large hand glide along the length of his cock.
"Gyu–fuck, I'm cumming," You warn him.
Mingyu stops holding back the second the words pass your lips. He speeds up his hand, loosening his grip every so slightly. You cum together, bodies shuddering with sloppy movements as you drive yourselves into a state of euphoric pleasure.
He fights to keep his eyes open. They remain half lidded as he refuses to rip his eyes way from the scene before him. He's fixaed on the way your fingers dip into your pussy, coating them with more of your slick arousal as your body spasms and jerks.
He can feel the way his load spills all over his hand and onto his lower abs, but he can't take his eyes off of you. He missed being able to see you fall apart. It's one of his favorite views. Even a thousand miles away, he was still going to see it for himself.
Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you come down. You draw your slick fingers out of your hole slowly, licking your lips as you tap back into all of your senses.
He blinks slowly as he comes down from his high. He grabs a tissue from the desk, cleaning up the mess on his skin. He discards it and slouches against the chair.
"Can't believe we just did that," He lets out a breathy chuckle.
"Thought it would've happened sooner. Been expecting it since your first night away," You smirk.
Mingyu yawns and decides to call it a night. He grabs his phone, plugging it into the charger and pulling his boxers back up onto his waist.
"Sleepy?" You ask.
"Exhausted," He turns off the lights and climbs under the hotel bedsheets. "I feel a lot better though."
"Good," You say.
You mirror his actions, redressing yourself, turning off the lights, and plugging your phone into the charger before climbing under the bedsheets. You're yawning too, snuggling in the sheets with your boyfriend on the phone.
The call goes quiet and it doesn't take long before both of you are fast asleep.
Mingyu can't wait to go back home and sleep next to you properly. For now, FaceTime calls will have to do. But once he can have you in his arms again, his home will feel complete again.
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© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.
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caitlinbueckers · 7 days
Text
told you so.
kate martin x reader
2.9k
woooooh this is a fucking doozy guys. literally received one (1) anon and then i blacked out for an hour and a half soooo here’s this ! realized during this journey that kate martin means an unfathomable amount to me and it’s like . Actually concerning 🔥🔥
ANYWAYS it’s giving Kate martin’s controversially hidden girlfriend that goes lowk public at the wnba draft like SHUT UP
18+ AS FUCK
“babe, quit looking at me like that.”
if there’s one thing you know, above the fact that you were certain there was gonna be an unsuspected draft tonight, was that kate martin could be such a bitch in the morning.
not that this was new for you, in any sense— you’d been more than used to it since the dawn of your relationship, learning all the little things about her that made her tick. whether that was her favorite to least favorite foods, or teams, even her obsession with fucking hot sauce.
you knew she still slept with her childhood blankie, the one currently curled under her chin atop the hotel comforter because she’s ridiculous, and because nobody has ever and would ever disrespect her blankie game.
and above all, you knew how much she wasn’t a morning person.
“you’re so dramatic,” you snort, pushing yourself up onto your elbows with a tired, but mocking voice as she emits a slow groan, turning to shove her face into the pillow, her body curling away from yours in an act of indignance that only makes you laugh.
you were far too used to her acting like a baby, so the action only made you sit up on your knees, slinging a leg over her so you could straddle her sides, leaning down to pepper kisses against the side of her face as she lets out a string of groans that turn into halfhearted chuckles, until her hands are planted firmly against your thighs, bare due to the oversized IOWA shirt that she insisted on you wearing.
‘for good luck,’ you remembered her snickering, something you knew was really just ‘easy access’.
her voice is still hoarse from sleep, quiet and raspy and tinged with that midwestern accent that you’ll never give up on bullying her for, when she whispers, “dude, you’re so annoying.”
of course, she proves it by hoisting you off of her, onto the bed, simulating something like a WWE smackdown moment as she rolls over onto you, mumbling something that you really can’t decipher due to her face in your neck, your chest, basically every place she knows will pull that hysterical, annoyingly high pitched laugh out of you, that for some reason, she loves.
“can’t believe you made it here.” she murmurs quietly against your cheek, lips moving lazily against the skin before she lays a smacking kiss there, and it’s almost gross, how much saliva she uses, but you snicker anyway, hand coming up to stroke through her blonde strands.
in all honesty, you couldn’t really believe it either. it had been soemthing close to hell trying to get it all straightened out, from clothes to hotels, to transportation and getting from des moines to brooklyn, not to mention just how fucking exclusive it had been to even get a seat open with all the hype surrounding women’s college basketball, the posterity that the final four teams had brought to the sport— not to mention, the fact that you and kate weren’t public in the fucking slightest, so having to account for that definitely sucked.
of course, it was a huge accomplishment, one that would definitely go down in the history of sports in general, so of course it was a huge fucking honor that your girlfriend was apart of it—
but also, you just thought it was hot.
in fact, the thought makes you smirk to yourself, corners of your mouth curling upwards in a self righteous grin as you turned your head, bumping noses with her to whisper, “can’t wait to see you all dressed up, baby,” she snickers at that, and you kiss her lips once, twice, three times before continuing, “and, i can’t wait to see where you get drafted so i can buy myself a plane ticket.”
the subsequent groan you receive is expected, but it doesn’t deter you even slightly, “and to watch you play on a professional fucking team, like, kate, i’m basically wet thinking about it right now.”
that makes her laugh out loud, and it warms you just a bit to hear it.
it’s not like kate has been super confident about it recently, usually choosing to not speak or avoid talking about how bad she wants it— especially considering the night being mainly for caitlin, an old teammate of yours from school and one of kate’s best friends on the squad, and arguably, one of the best players in the league (next to kate, of course).
still, it didn’t change your focus, or the unyielding hope you had for the possibility of kate getting drafted— no matter how late in the draft it could be.
“babe, quit selling yourself short, okay? you’re a legend. it would be literally, fucking stupid to pass you up, okay?” she doesn’t respond at first, her eyes closed and lashes brushing her cheeks, before she flutters them open just a crack, blue peeking through as you offer her a grin, one that she only rolls her eyes to, but kisses you regardless. you knew how much she hated to talk about it, but it didn’t matter.
you knew you were right, anyway.
“mmmiloveyou.” it comes out in one smushed whisper against your mouth, before you nip at her bottom lip, hand sneaking under the sports bra she wore to bed to brush your thumb across her ribcage, “get off of me and get ready, okay?”
caitlin was top draft pick, which was heavily speculated and yet still unexpected to a degree as you stood from your seat with a cacophony of shouts and hollers from around you, pride swelling thick in your chest. you’d known the girl since you two had been in middle school— seeing the same tall little girl that had hated losing in an elementary school gym turn into such an infamous champion was something alike to a parent watching their kid go off to college or something, you’d swear it.
but, to say it was nothing short of nervewracking would somehow be an understatement, and as much as you felt the impending pressure with each name called, you could only imagine how kate must’ve felt.
it wasn’t hard to tell— the way her molars steadily worked the inside of her cheek, the way her tongue would dart out to wet her lips again and again. her hand, jittering too much to be held stationary within your own, drumming along your bare thigh beside your dress— ‘self soothing’, she’d explained in a whisper, a halfhearted, almost weakened smile on her face when you’d given her a lifted eyebrow at the hand placement considering the amount of cameras that surrounded you, but somehow, despite the rush of adrenaline, decided you didn’t care either.
thankfully, you both weren’t anywhere too accessible, but it still made you wonder whether kate had been bullshitting just how anxious she actually had been the whole time for her to need your touch so badly, and for an aching moment of tenderness as you glance at her, you want to kiss her, hard, rub the tension between her eyebrows, relax the trouble in her eyes.
still, gabbie and jada were good eyes too, considering anytime the camera would so much as even pan past you two, jada would hit you with a solid elbow, one to remind you that your poker face was shit, and perhaps you’d have to try just a little harder to pretend you weren’t totally, irrevocably in love with the woman beside you.
but slowly, it was all starting to click into place.
the cameras began panning to kate more and more, your own eyes flickering to the set and noticing how everytime you’d look, there’d be an official looking right past you, right at kate. a surge of excitement rose within you, one that had the words bubbling from your mouth in an urgent whisper,
“baby, i think—“
until an official, dressed in black with a wireless pair of headphones in each ear and a smile, touched kate’s shoulder.
“ms. martin, we’re gonna go ahead and have you and your party move down the aisle just a bit— there’s been a slight seating issue, if that’s okay with you guys?”
jada elbows you extra hard this time, and for some reason it solidifies that feeling you get, one that makes your heart leap as you all nod, getting to your feet without argument, only as kate turns to give you a look that’s supposed to be scolding, but fuck, you can see the glimmer of hope in it that makes your chest constrict, your eyes burn in pride.
“you’re giving me eyes, and for what?” she hums, the teeth against her cheek working overtime as you all settle into the new seats, kate at the end of the aisle, and a fluttery feeling in your chest, “no reason.” you say it almost smugly, as if you know something she doesn’t, and you don’t, but god, you can feel it.
the names fly off, left and right, number 16, and kate’s knee starts bouncing slightly, number 17 and your heart feels like it’s going way too fucking fast, number 18, and jada peers around you to glance at kate, and then…
las vegas, aces— kate martin.
if watching caitlin win had felt like a parent watching their child, this must’ve been adjacent to winning the fucking lottery.
you’re on your feet in mere seconds, the tears that had built finally dripping down your cheeks, a fact you’d only come to find embarrassing once you realize how visible they are on the playback, but fuck it, your girl was going pro.
she wastes no time in wrapping you up, her face ducking into your shoulder as your arms twine around her middle, thinking subconsciously of how you know you shouldn’t risk it, but kate doesn’t seem to mind, only releasing you with a single arm to embrace jada, and then gabbie, before she’s back to you.
of course, it doesn’t occur to you in the moment, that it’s a hard launch— no, it doesn’t really sink in until she kisses you hard against the temple before she’s breezing down the aisle, the subsequent eruption in applause leaving you starstruck, in silent awe.
after that, it’s somewhat of a blur— she takes her picture and accepts her jersey, the newscasters going off on some spiel about your girlfriends work ethic, her attitude, her endurance, everything you already fucking knew, had known for so long, that she’d finally have a chance to prove.
the moment she’s back beside you, it also doesn’t register to you that she must’ve been just as accepting about the reveal, because it’s only a second that she’s in her seat before she plants a soft kiss to your mouth, the dark lipstick you’d been steadily biting off in anxiety sticking to hers and she’s grinning, bigger than she had all day, and for a moment, you think you might actually collapse because god,
you love her. so fucking much.
“told you so,” you make out between the tears, smiling through the tightness in your voice that makes you sound warbled, whimpering even as she just laughs at you, her thumb careful to wipe beneath your eyes, “guess you did.”
of course, it’s only customary that after such a good night, everyone must get fucked up— so, that’s exactly what happens.
you get to gush to caitlin— hugging her tight around the neck and congratulating her a million times, to which she reciprocates when it comes to you and kate, garnering a blush on your already alcohol flushed cheeks, rolling your eyes as you punch her arm.
“whatever, fever.”
“whatever, ‘ace’.”
you pretend you don’t notice the quotations she puts around it, and give her a friendly middle finger instead— if kate was an ace, that meant you basically were too, at least by proxy.
“hey money,” you call to kate affectionately, seeing only the back of her head as she talks to gabbie, your arms sliding around her waist to hold her tight from behind.
“my love,” she greets with a smile, looking over her shoulder to pucker her lips at you, expecting a kiss that you so easily return. it feels fucking terrifying, in all honesty, to be so open, but you can’t find it within you to care enough to give it up— not when she’s this happy.
“dude, you totally knew, didn’t you? there’s no way you would’ve started crying like that unless you knew.” she’s drunk, chattering at a volume level beyond what’s needed considering you were right behind her, hand sneaking beneath her blazer, but you can’t help the way you shrug, “i’m always right, huh?”
later that night, she shows you just how right you are.
it’s past a decent hour to still be tugging off clothes from the night prior— the clock read four in the morning, but the windows spoke of the twinkling lights that surrounded, the city not quite awake, but never asleep.
“you’re a pro,” you hum against her mouth as you tug off her blazer, hands making quick work of the belt that kept you from exploring, smirking at the look she gives you, daring and all too fucking sexy, “it’s so hot to think about.”
“yeah?” her fingers hook beneath the straps of the dress until she’s dragging them down your shoulders, “you want me to show you how professionals do it?”
the next thing you know she’s between your legs, nothing but a white top and her slacks on, unbuttoned, as she hikes a leg over her shoulder, kisses along the inside of your thigh with an intensity only comparable to how she is after a really good game.
“fuck—!” it leaves your mouth in a sound that’s almost unrecognizable, the realization that you’d been pleasantly and uncomfortably horny ever since the draft had ended making itself known considering just how much kate had been unrelenting during press— hands on your hips or on the inside of your thigh, toying with the hair on the back of your neck or grasping the inside of your elbow to lead you along.
she knew it drove you crazy, you knew she’d make it up to you later.
her mouth makes easy work on you, tongue long and flat as she laps against your cunt, rough in all the ways that she knew you could handle— thumbs pressing fingerprint bruises into your skin, breath hot and heavy against your clit, hips moving on their own accord as you gasp out a string of incoherent whimpers. “shit, baby- just… just like that.”
it wasn’t like kate had ever failed at getting you off, but tonight, she performed as if it was her last game, greedy almost as she drinks you in, making sure to not leave one bit of you unchecked. her tongue is almost sinful in the way it makes your voice careen, high and whining, your hand finding a permanent tangle into her already mussed hair.
but she’s cocky tonight, presumptuous right before you orgasm as she raises her head to kiss your thigh, biting the skin before she’s climbing onto the bed beside you, too tall to be graceful, but you’re too fucking horny to even spare her the laughs you usually give.
“up, c’mere.” she’s breathless still, but she doesn’t let you rest for even a second, leaning across you to curl her fingers around your thigh to tug you up from your laying position, rousing you from the hazy, almost delirious state of mind as you push yourself up, letting out a shaking breath when she’s sliding your leg over her chest, hands grazing up the back of your thighs until she’s pulling you, right over over her mouth.
“kate, wha- you’re so— fuck.”
any semblance of words or sense seem to leave you in one second, as she flattens her tongue against the wetness that’s collected, the friction almost unbearable when her head tilted upwards, nose brushing hard against your clit in a way that pulls a cry from your lips. she’s unfaltering, diligent, unabashed in the way she’s moving your hips, the way she pairs each grind against her nose with a curl of her tongue, and really, it’s over before it fucking starts.
her mouth is glossy, damp when she’s done, and she smiles and it’s arrogant as she’s sliding you back down to sit you against her hips, the mere control she had of your body making you bright red as you pant pathetically, reduced to fucking nothing by her mouth.
it makes you throw your head back with a whimpering sigh, “don’t fucking look at me like that.” you complain, legs still open, thighs still trembling as she races her hands along them, “tired already?”
funnily enough, you were far from fucking tired.
“actually… was thinking about showing you some celebrity treatment?” you muse softly, as she peels off her own top, eyebrows raising, her thumb swiping along the edge of her lip before she’s placing it on the bottom of yours, pressing until it dips into your mouth, the heady taste of what you knew was yourself finding a place on your tongue.
she smirks, tongue poking between her teeth as your stomach fucking turns almost, arousal prickling unforgivingly at you once again.
“ooh,” she muses under her breath, eyes laser focused on the thumb she’d placed between your lips, voice coming out in a whisper, “i like the sound of that.”
she’s smirking though, because sex between you two have never been anything completely serious— that’s just not how kate operates, “ace money martin’s got a ring to it, huh?”
“shut up.”
“make me.”
so, you do.
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tommysversion · 1 year
Note
I see you're asking for smutty Din requests. May I suggest you my favorite?
Breeding Kink Dom!Din?? 👀
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[[ Anon!! I’m so sorry this took so long, it’s literally been in my drafts/WIPs for like?? Three?? Weeks??? But I finally managed to finish it and I hope you like it!!! ]]
CWs: smut / literally very little plot / established relationship / daddy kink if you squint / breeding kink / soft dom Din / praise kink / unsafe sex / oral sex (f!receiving) / spicy language / religious undertones (may be considered blasphemous?) /
——
Din has no idea what the hell has come over him. Normally he’s the epitome of a gentleman; kind, soft spoken, honourable, respectful. Everything a man should be, everything he was raised to be. Everything the Creed teaches. The way he’s currently thinking and feeling? Is the very opposite.
He’s been having these dark thoughts all day. Not dark as in cruel, or evil. Dark as in sinful. Dark as in something forbidden. And it’s all your goddamn fault. Not that you know it, of course. No, you have no idea what you’re doing to him, and that makes it all the worse.
It’s the way you play at swords with the foundlings. The way you are so quick to repair torn tunics or bandage scraped knees. The way you always make sure to bring back cakes and sweets for each child whenever adventure calls Din and yourself away from the covert. Much of what little money you have, you spend on the children, asking nothing in return. You don’t even get to see them smile; most of the children are old enough to have spoken the Creed. This doesn’t seem to bother you either; you smile enough for all of them, beam bright like the sun at the shrieks of joy that are passed through the foundlings whenever you open your backpack, hands full of treats, treasures spilling into eager smaller hands like a rainbow.
You are not Mandalorian, but the way you treat the children, the way you smile so easily, speak so respectfully - especially when asking a question about their culture - has endeared you to his people. Made you one of them, without being one of them.
The Creed teaches to be selfless. To be humble. To not want, not for selfish reasons. To want, to covet, is a sin, a transgression. And yet, he’s only human.
It’s not the first time the thought has crossed his mind. Only, before, he was able to push it away. To dismiss it as a fanciful, fleeting thought alone. It’s harder to ignore, seeing you like this. Why not admit it? The sight of you, surrounded by children, taking on that naturally maternal role, has made him want. Has made him wonder what you would be like if the child was his. His and yours. Made between you and stardust.
Once he’s let the thought in, it won’t go away. It begins curious, like that, but over the days becomes darker. Less curious, more lecherous. More sinful. Until it comes to where he currently stands, certain he’s going half mad with need and desire for you.
You’re completely oblivious to the battle raging in his head, folding some freshly laundered blankets, bent over to put them in the carved wooden chest at the foot of your shared bed, giving him a fantastic view of your ass in the soft leather leggings you’d picked up a dozen market trips ago. The view definitely doesn’t help things, at all, only suffices to make him even harder in his own snugly fitted pants.
He can’t go on like this, sinful and dishonourable or not.
He waits until you’ve set the blanket down, closed the chest, before he sneaks up on you; it’s easier to be stealthy without all his beskar on, each piece neatly set aside on velvet cloth on shelves hewn into the rock of the wall. He presses up against you, wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
“Is everything alright?” You ask; you’re used to him being quiet. Din is a man of few words, but there’s something off about his demeanour. You’re worried about him, he realises.
“Everything is fine. More than fine, really.” He reassures you, almost rushes to soothe you because he can’t stand the thought of you worrying about him when it’s unnecessary.
You lean back into him, comforted by the reassuring solidness of his touch, the feeling of his hands on your waist.
“Oh. I just thought… you’ve been quieter than usual and… I thought maybe I’d… done something you didn’t approve of?” You chewed your lip, waiting for the disappointment to appear. You were so certain you had done something wrong.
“What could you possibly have done wrong?” It concerns him, the level of worry you’re displaying. He knows rejoining the covert has been a change for you, but surely nobody’s making you feel unwelcome?
“I thought… maybe it’s not allowed… to spoil the foundlings like I do? Maybe it was some cultural thing you were too polite to tell me?”
He can’t help but laugh, relieved that that’s what your fear stems from.
“Not at all, love. Most of the children don’t have parents, and it’s not something many of our adults would consider. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I just thought… I felt you watching me, and I…”
His arms tighten around you, the ache in his chest matching the ache in his cock; his hands caress your waist, touching gently.
“I wasn’t watching you because I disapprove.” Din assured you, pressing a soft kiss to your neck. “I was watching you because I like seeing you happy.”
He pauses, considering for a moment, fighting those dark thoughts and losing.
“And because I wonder what you’d be like as a mother.” The words fall from his mouth before he can stop them. Not that he wants to stop them. For a moment though, he’s afraid he might have scared you, so he turns you round and leans down to kiss you before you can say anything.
You lean right into him, stand on your toes to reach him, and that’s enough to break any resolve he has, any concern or care. Never mind that it’s a sin, never mind that he shouldn’t be showing you his face, much less desiring you the way he does. If Bo can show the entire damn covert her face, then he can show you his. That’s his rationality at this point.
He’s too far gone to care, lifting you up into his arms to get you closer to him. He’s running on impulse now, and he knows it, but he’s no longer interested in holding back. Beneath his honourable demeanour, his gentlemanly behaviour, there’s a dark streak, and it wants out.
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, holding onto him, thighs locked loosely around his waist. It’s so rare that you get to see his face, so you can’t help staring at him, memorising every little detail. Din loves that about you, loves how respectful you are, how you never push his boundaries. You’d never ask him to show you his face, leaving it entirely up to him to decide; you’ve never once pushed the issue, loved him long before he finally showed you what he looks like.
He carries you the few steps to the bed, sets you down on it gently. You kick off your shoes, let him pull those sinfully tight leather pants down, before you lean up and tug his shirt off. You’re just about feeling smug when he catches your wrists, big hands wrapped around them, placing your hands at your sides.
Something in his gaze keeps them there. You’re used to seeing nothing but gentleness in his eyes, but there’s a burning desire there now that intrigues you. Makes you want to obey.
You let him pull your shirt up over your head, toss it aside, heated by the intensity of the way he looks at you, immediately returning your hands to where he placed them. The heavy boots and the pants he wears come off next, and then he’s laying you down, pressing the heat and muscle of his body against yours, kissing you like he’s starving.
Maybe he is. You know that before you, he didn’t particularly bother with intimacy when it comes to sex. His knowledge of sex was hard, fast, fully clothed, with no real attachment to it. Which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. You also know that he’s starving for affection. For touch. And you usually get to be on the receiving end.
He takes his time kissing you, knows it isn’t something he gets to do often, knows that even though you don’t say anything about it, you want it more often than he can give. He loves that about you; that you may not be Mandalorian, you may not understand the Creed, but you respect it. Respect what it means to him. That means more to him than he can ever articulate.
So yes. He takes his time. Kisses your mouth until your lips are bruised and swollen from his attention, but you love every second of it. He pulls away from you slowly, watches the way you look up at him through half-lidded eyes, lips still parted for him.
“What’s gotten into you?” You ask, but Din knows it isn’t a rebuke. He can tell by the way you’re looking at him, by the way your legs are spread for him, the way you’re fidgeting on the bed beneath him. It’s not a rebuke. It’s desire.
He doesn’t answer. Lets you run your fingers up and down his solid arms for a moment, before he pins your wrists above your head, one at a time, holds them there with one big hand.
You don’t question him again, but he can see approval and desire in your gaze, a flicker of understanding.
“No more questions.” It’s an order, albeit given in a soft tone. “Keep your hands right there for me, there’s a good girl.”
He releases your wrists, but you don’t move, won’t until he tells you to, remaining perfectly still as he kisses his way down your body, scarred hands settling on your thighs, keeping them spread for him as he looks up at you.
“So wet…” he’s talking more to himself than to you, but you still shiver slightly at the words, at the expression on his face as he stares at you, just for a moment longer, before he leans in, buries his face in your cunt.
You’re already wet, wet enough that he was able to see - and comment on - it. But it’s not enough for Din. He wants you soaked and begging for his cock by the time he’s through with you, wants his beard and the sheets absolutely drenched.
If you thought he was kissing you like he was starving, it was nothing in comparison to this. He keeps his hands firmly clamped on your shaking thighs, preventing you from moving, as his tongue laves at you, kissing and sucking at your clit, making you wriggle and moan beneath him.
You’re desperate to wind your fingers into his hair, but you know if you try, he’ll stop, and that’s the last thing you want.
It’s only when you start literally dripping onto his tongue that he relents, pulls away from you. He doesn’t even bother wiping his mouth, beard soaked with your slick as he moves back up, slaps the thick head of his cock against your cunt deliberately, teasing.
“You ready for me, baby?” He knows the answer already, likes the way you bite your lip and chew on it, nodding.
He leans down and kisses you, sucks your lower lip out from between your teeth.
“Answer me.”
There it is again, that faint hint of a demand, the tone so soft that you can’t help but comply.
“Yes, please…”
You know how to answer him, even though you’ve never seen him like this before, those dark eyes blazing like liquid obsidian as he surveys you, spread out for him, so needy and willing.
“There we go.” He lines himself up, slides into your soaked cunt; it’s not as smooth as he hoped, he’s too big and you’re too tight, and you can’t help but wince slightly at the feeling of him stretching you out, but he settles, pressed to the hilt inside you.
“There you go…” He almost moans it, keeps your thighs spread, hands moving your legs, bending your knees so your ankles are by his shoulders.
You know this position, realise why he’s doing it. It doesn’t scare you. The opposite, in fact. He realises it a moment later when he feels your cunt tighten around him.
“Oh, you like this, huh?” He drags himself out of you, slow, almost to the tip before he slams back into you, drawing a scream from your parted lips.
“Can I touch you now?” You gasp it out when you can breathe again.
He surveys you for a moment; the way you’re pressed beneath him, knees up by your tits, eyes heavy with need for him. How much better for him can he ask you to be?
“Yes,” he agrees, dragging himself out and pressing in deep again. It’s all the permission you need, hands immediately jumping to the solid muscle of his biceps, clinging to him as he slams into you.
He’s usually so gentle, so careful, but this is completely different. Wild, desperate. He’s not holding back, has no interest in being careful tonight, slamming into your tight little hole, moaning the entire time.
“Fuck, baby, so tight…” He nuzzles into your neck, keeps your legs firmly in the position he wants them in, pressing deep with each thrust, hard and fast.
“Feel so good, gonna fill you up, fuck my baby into this sweet little cunt…”
It’s filthy, you’ve never heard him say such things, but you love it, love how roughly he’s handling you, how wild and frantic he is, how your body responds to him. You can feel yourself tightening around him, milking his incredible cock as he drills into you.
“Please, please…” you can’t say much more than that word, repeated over and over as he fucks you, so hard the bed shakes.
“Keep begging me for it,” he moans it into your ear, one hand leaving your leg to fist into the bedsheets, holding himself up, bracing himself.
You drag your nails up his back, back arching up as best you can in the position he has you in.
“Please… need it… need you so bad…”
You’re overwhelmed, he’s so big inside you, so rough, not making any move to slow down even as he feels you getting closer and closer to the edge.
“Yeah? You gonna make me a daddy, baby?” He presses another kiss into your neck, shudders when he feels you tilt your hips to get him deeper, a gasp tearing from your throat when he hits your sweet spot.
“Please…”
You can’t form words, not when he’s pounding into your sweet spot with every thrust, saying such filthy, sinful things. You can’t hold on any longer, and he knows it, fucks you harder and faster until you’re writhing on the bed beneath him, tight, perfect little pussy tightening around him, keeping him in deep, massaging his cock as you climax.
“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty when you cum for me…” Din loves seeing you like this, body arched in a perfect mating press as he drills into you.
Any other time and he’d put you on all fours, press your face down into the bed and fuck you til you screamed yourself hoarse for him.
Maybe later. This time, anyway, he wants to see the look on your face when he fills you, the glazed look in your eyes when his cum leaks out of you. Not that he plans on letting that happen. He’s going to fuck you so full of his seed that you’re overflowing with it, but this first time? He doesn’t want to spill a drop.
Your nails keep raking at his back, pulling him close against you, and it’s that that urges him on, the way you’re looking at him, so desperately needy for him.
He could get addicted to this, so far removed from the slow and gentle and passionate intimacy you usually share.
“This all I needed to do to get you drunk on my cock?” He presses you down harder into the mattress with just his hips, relying on his strength.
You whimper in answer, clench around him again.
“Dirty girl,” he mutters, “you want this just as much as I do, huh? Bet you’ve been desperate for me to fuck you like this, put a baby in you.”
You don’t answer; can’t answer, because his words and his pace drag another climax out of you, surprising both of you. He fucks you through it, pace increasingly more rough and erratic.
“That’s it, baby. That’s it, fuck, I’m so close…”
He has to brace himself on the bed, fist clenching in the sheets as the other holds you steady, in place as he presses deep, grinds his hips roughly against yours, ensuring that every single drop of hot, thick seed fills you, stays deep inside you.
“Fuck, like that…” he pants, watching the way your eyes blaze with arousal and love as he comes back to himself, slowly, second by second.
He’ll have to repent later, ask for forgiveness for his sins, but right now? Right now he couldn’t care less, the hand that isn’t curled into the sheets caressing your - for now - still flat abdomen.
It won’t stay that way for long. Not if he has anything to do with it.
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lethalchiralium · 1 year
Text
Almost | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader
a/n: you guys literally persuade me so easily it’s hilarious. i’ve had this in my drafts since december LMAOOOOOOOO
warnings: doctor’s appointments, ultrasound of baby three! :) simon is NERVOUS, he is literally imploding
summary: Just a doctor’s appointment to find out baby three’s gender.
PREVIOUS << | >> NEXT | Masterlist
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“It’s not that big of a deal, Simon, sit down.”
Your voice registered in his ears but he didn’t listen, he paced in the small examination room after he had helped you onto the table…seat…thing. The medical face mask felt itchy on his face, the lights were too bright, he didn’t like having his hair not covered - he wanted to leave. Hospitals brought up a lot of trauma from previous long hospital stays after Roba, staying a few weeks with Tommy after he had overdosed and almost killed himself - and the three months Winnie was in the NICU.
To say he was uncomfortable would be an understatement.
Because he was more in his head than ever before, worrying about you non-stop since you had told him you thought you were pregnant seven weeks ago. He felt his repressed shame from missing the pregnancies of his first two daughters, now he had a third child to worry about. He felt helpless - like he didn’t know how to do this; which he didn’t really. He never did doctor appointments in the civilian world, he avoided hospitals like the plague, and he definitely did not have experience with having a pregnant wife. He was in emergency mode at all times.
You, on the other hand, were graceful. Having to go through an entire pregnancy by yourself without any support from your spouse was one of the most difficult things you have ever done - but now you had Simon. Even if he was having a mental battle with himself, knowing that he knew and that he was supporting you meant everything.
You stretched out your right hand, putting it right in his line of sight. He slowed to a stop, eyes staring at your hand. You wiggled your fingers, to which he gently took your hand in his own. His eyes met yours.
You gave him a smile. “Simon, I need you to take a breath.”
The rugged man in a black jacket sort of huffed before begrudgingly sitting in the chair beside you. You squeezed his hand and he immediately squeezed back.
“Don’t want to be here.” He immediately regretted his word choice after he spoke, his eyes looking to yours while you gazed at the white ceiling.
“I know.” You answered, hand squeezing his again. “I’ve got a lot of trauma from hospitals too.”
That really surprised him. “Really?”
“You remember Dave.” Simon nodded. “He had brain cancer when he was 12. I was 18, driving him to and from doctor’s appointments and staying with him at the Children’s Hospital because our parents had to work overtime to keep up with the bills.” Your free hand settled on your stomach. “Jake was off in the Navy by that point, Tommy was six and was staying with my grandma. Mom and Dad were always there every second they could since they were working, but it was mostly me. Slept on a pull out bed for months until he got to come home.” You kept staring at the ceiling, the image of your brother on a hospital bed, hooked up to endless wires was an image that was hard to scrub away.
“Your brother’s okay now, right?” He squeezed your hand, you looked to your husband then. He looked a lot more focused than he was earlier, his breathing a lot less rapid. You simply nodded in response. “Good. I like Dave.”
“I know.” You commented as there was a knock on the door, to which you answered, “Come in!”
In stepped your doctor, a woman with tight coils of curls tucked back into a ponytail. She wore pink scrubs with a purple stethoscope. You could tell she was smiling at you from behind the mask, “Hello, Mrs. Riley! It’s good to see you again.” She waved to you, before nodding at Simon. “I assume you’re Mr. Riley?”
“Yes.” He answered, she gave him a smile too before turning and gathering the equipment.
“How is Winnie and Melody?” She asked while you pulled up your shirt.
“Perfect as always.” You squeezed Simon’s hand then. “Mellie’s getting too big for me to carry, and she’s walking now.”
“Walking already? She’ll be outrunning Winnie before you know it. Gel’s cold, sorry.” The doctor commented before putting the gel on, making you take in a soft gasp. Simon squeezed your hand then, you looked to him and gave him a reassuring smile, mouthing, I’m okay.
“Alright, off the bat...” She noted, moving the little wand around after she had placed it on your stomach. “Want to know the sex or wait like last time?”
Your gaze moved from Simon to the screen then back to him, watching at his eyes settled on you, not on the screen. “Up to you.”
Simon’s eyebrows furrowed. “No, you’re the one growing a baby here. You choose.”
You gave him a sharp glare then. “Simon, pick now or I will make you re-gutter my house.”
“Doesn’t scare me. You choose.”
“Simon, I will only say it once more.” Your hand moved to grip his chin, nails digging into his skin a little. “You put the baby in there. Choose. Now.”
He sighed, knowing that you wouldn’t budge. He looked around you to the doctor. “Yes.”
She nodded and looked back to the screen, moving the little wand as you and Simon watched it too. He took your hand again, squeezing it before kissing the side of your cheek through his mask.
“Well, let’s see - ten fingers,” She hummed a little as you held your breath. “Ten toes…” She gasped a little before looking to the both of you, moving the wand back before pointing to its heart. “That is your baby boy’s heart, beating nice and strong, mama.”
“A boy.” You beamed, a smile wide on your face. “Simon, a boy.”
Simon put your hand against his mouth, you could feel him kiss your hand again through the mask. His eyes had softened, watching the screen as the little heart beat - something in his chest squeezed his own heart, and for the first time in his life, he wished to never forget this feeling. The light tingling in his chest, the heat that felt like sunshine, and the way one little picture took his breath away.
“Any names yet?” The doctor broke the small silence, looking to you but you had shook your head.
“He gets to be home the whole pregnancy, so he gets to name him.” You settled your other hand on the top of your stomach, absentmindedly rubbing it. “Felt bad he didn’t get to name Mellie.”
“Mellie? That’s such a cute nickname.” The doctor smiled, you nodded.
You looked at your husband, seeing how tears had collected in his eyes. You squeezed his hand, turning back to your doctor. “Can we two pictures?”
The doctor nodded, “I’ll be right back with them.”
Simon put that picture in the breast pocket of his uniform the next day. He definitely did not show Price as soon as he walked through the door. He definitely did not show Gaz next, who bear hugged his friend, saying, “My godbaby!”
Soap definitely did not start screaming, “You’re gonnae send Mini Ghost aftae me!”
———
part two may or may not make a lot of you cry and hate me lollolololol
———
Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.
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httpsuniverse · 9 months
Text
mr lover [ ben chilwell ]
— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!
[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *
[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *
࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol
this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.
benchilwell
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benchilwell family time
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user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??
user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever
user they’re such dog parents 😭
yourusername my babyyy my babyyy
benchilwell which one?
yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who
benchilwell 🙄
yourusername
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liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others
yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.
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user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭
benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back
yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman
user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her
yourusername i birthed this child
benchilwell huh
yourusername huh
user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog
yourusername if he fits, he sits
user agreed 🤝
user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person
user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid
yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret
benchilwell what? no way
yourusername heheheheheheheeh
benchilwell
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benchilwell home is where the heart is.
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yourusername but god i love the english
benchilwell you know i love a london boy
yourusername 🫣🫣
user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman
benchilwell i cant blame him
yourusername i told you i birthed this dog
benchilwell 😂
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yourprivate
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yourprivate hehe oops
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mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!
yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh
mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE
benspriv little chilly 🔜
masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account
reecespriv me too mate
christiansprivme three
jackspriv me four
benspriv me five
yourpriv what
benspriv what
yourusername and benchilwell
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yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈
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benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be
yourusername mines funnier
benchilwell 🙄
masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute
yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀
masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!
user this is the cutest announcement 😭
user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!
weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!
user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)
yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW
user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional
— ❤️ by yourusername
england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍
chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?
yourusername omg YES PLEASE
benchilwell 🤦🏻‍♂️
yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE
benchilwell
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benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both
comments on this post have been limited.
yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷
yourusername
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yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)
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benchilwell 🩷🩷
user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹
user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭
user the hand placements of ben 😭
user i’m so alone yall
user AAA y/n 🥺
user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────
yourusername and benchilwell
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yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨
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benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲
user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad
user stopp im emo im not even a parent
user omg eleanor looks so cute!!
user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum
user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor
user they have a little ballerina 🥺
user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg
yourusername i know right 🥺
user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN
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visionofhope04 · 5 months
Note
Here for the angst of neglected batsis, imagine or hc them of moving out if the house when they are 18 and let's say they meet some spirit and they have their memory wiped and transfer to the marvel universe to restart their life and more happy, then the dc/marvel merge together because of a big threat and batfam sees batsis is heavily pregnant and married to our favorite deadpool charater Colossus?
How would they reached if batsis just can't remember them and keeps on telling them they have the wrong person?
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK. Guess who's back!! Sorry it took me so long to get this out, I haven't had the motivation to write until recently. Also OOC warning bc I don't really know him well besides the Deadpool movies. I almost freaked out bc I haven't used the tumblr website in so long and it got updated so I thought I lost all my drafts. So glad they're still here, whew. Not beta read so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes!
---
It's been a year since moving into your apartment and you couldn't be happier. College was going well and you were taking classes you enjoyed. However, you haven't made any friends yet which led you to spend your free time reading or surfing the web. Jason didn't come by much due to having his own life and vigilante things, which you understood. It didn't mean you couldn't be a little bit sad about it though.
Even though you were enjoying your life, you still felt as if there was something missing. You'd been trying to figure out why you had felt this way but nothing came to mind. Any time you tried to brush off the feeling, it came back stronger. You did your best to ignore it and continue on with life, but it was always there, nagging you.
It had been a long day. College was so stressful. Your professors kept hurling projects at you that had deadlines that were practically impossible to meet. You just wanted it to end already and be on summer break. Then, you’d be able to sleep how long you wanted to without the fear of being late for class or forgetting to complete an assignment.
You sat down at your desk and pulled out your laptop, preparing to continue an essay that was due in three days. Suddenly, you began to feel nauseous. Confused, you attempted to ignore the feeling in favor of completing the essay. A few seconds after trying to focus on your laptop screen, you saw a bright light.
"My child, you will be saved from this life." A strangely comforting voice said.
Then everything faded to black.
---
"Hello?!"
A voice. A voice? But you live alone and no one has the spare key to your apartment. You slowly opened your eyes, groaning and quickly shutting them again once a bright light blinded you.
"Oh you're alive, thank God. Can you speak?" Whoever this was seemed to have been panicking before, slightly less though now that you had indicated you were alive. You groan as you push yourself up off of what seems to be concrete. Concrete? You're definitely not in your apartment. You crack your eyes open again, this time with less difficulty, and come face to face with white lenses of a mask. Blinking again, you register that the lenses are attached to a red material with black lines.
"Ah!"
"AH!" The figure yells and jumps back, startled by your sudden surprise.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" You asked, tilting your head slightly to the side.
"What do you mean? I'm Spiderman." His voice was a bit high pitched, he sounded like a teen at most.
"Spiderman? You've got to be joking. There is no Spiderman. Go home kid, crime fighting isn't a game." Sure, you may be a hypocrite, seeing as you are an ex-assassin who began learning how to kill at around 5, but at least you had training. What did this Spiderman have? From how startled he was, you assumed he had barely been trained, if at all.
“What? I'm literally Spiderman! I'm Queens' hero!"
"Queens, New York?" You thought you'd still be in New Jersey at least.
"Uh yeah. I don't think there are any other places called Queens that have a Spiderman."
"Again, Spiderman? Seriously? You couldn't think of a better name at least?"
"Hey! There's nothing wrong with Spiderman!"
"Sure kid, keep telling yourself that."
He was about to protest when suddenly, someone else dropped into the alley.
"Hey Spidey, who's this lovely lady?" A person in an all red with black suit with two swords on his back and guns strapped to his waist called out. The person seemed to be a male, around 30 years old.
"This 'lovely lady' is very confused. Who are you?" They keep multiplying, and you'd never seen this person either.
"Did you hit your head or something? You've never heard of or seen Deadpool? The most handsomest, most awesomest, funniest, killer crime fighter?"
"Uh nope. Also, I'm from Jersey, how did I end up here?"
"Good question. What's your name?"
"Oh, it's-" You stopped in confusion. "I actually don't remember. It was just at the tip of my tongue but I don't remember."
"Oh great! Amnesia! Just what we need. I'll let you handle her Spidey and I'll go stop some bad guys, 'kay?"
"What! No, don't leave me here!" Deadpool was already sprinting away.
"Let's get you to the base. Colossus and the others will know what to do."
---
They did not, in fact, know what to do. Colossus sent Negasonic and Yukio to contact Professor X, while Spiderman went to contact Tony Stark (I'm still emotionally scarred from Endgame so no, he won't be dead, this is my fanfic and I can keep him alive if I want to) and Deadpool went back out to patrol. You were left alone with Colossus.
Uncomfortable silence sat between you. Just as you were beginning to get antsy, Colossus broke it first.
"Do you remember anything at all?"
"I'm... a college student. I live alone in an apartment in New Jersey, I think. I used to fight crime until... I don't know, it's fuzzy. I'm an ex-assassin who has been training since I was 5. That's all I remember."
"You can remember that but not your name?"
"Look, I don't know okay? I don't know what's happening or why I can't remember anything else. I want to remember who I am, but I can't. And it's so... so frustrating! Your suspicion is understandable, but it is not helping."
"I apologize. This is a stressful situation for you. I will be more considerate."
"Thank you."
---
They could not figure out what happened to you or why you suddenly appeared in Queens one day. Your memory remained fuzzy, so you were stuck. As time passed, you and Colossus grew closer. You became so close that he told you his real name, you became a couple, and you got married. Seven years passed, you were 25 and you'd been trying for a baby. You both felt the time was right and that you'd be able to handle parenting.
Colossus came home from work one day, spent and tired. There you were, waiting for him at the door as usual.
"Hi my love, long day?" You fiddled with the positive pregnancy test behind your back.
"Yes darling, when is it not?"
"Well, we're going to have to figure something out, because there's no way I'll wake up every night to take care of our baby."
He looked confused, then realization hit. "You're..?" He looked so happy and hopeful, you couldn't contain your happiness. A huge smile lit up your face.
"Yes, we're finally going to be parents!" You pulled out the pregnancy test and held it up to him.
He laughed a joyful laugh, tears began to fall from the corners of his eyes as he embraced you. It must've been infectious because you began to tear up too. You remained in each other's embrace for a while, just existing in the moment. Time felt irrelevant as you basked in your shared delight.
---
8 months later, your belly had swollen and grown. Everyone was happy for the both of you. You and Colossus were both eager for your little one to arrive. You'd both decided to wait for birth to find out the gender. It didn't matter to you whether it was a boy or girl, just that they were healthy (gender's a construct anyway). The pregnancy had been going great so far, but this time of easy-going was about to get ruined by your husband's job.
---
Your world had merged with another because of some cosmic threat. Great! Your husband would be preoccupied trying to fix the situation, which meant that you'd be alone. Selfishly, you wished that they could let your husband stay with you so close to your due date, but you knew he had a role to play in saving two worlds.
Seeing your loneliness, Colossus decided to bring you with him to the Avengers' base. He hoped you'd be able to befriend some of the people there. You entered the compound and your eyes were drawn to some men standing beside a set of double doors. They all had suits on, black hair (one guy had two white streaks in his hair) and most had blue eyes, except for one man who had green eyes. He was also noticeably the darkest of the group. They felt familiar to you, especially the man with green eyes. Have you met them before? Who were they?
As your husband was discussing some details about the meeting, you couldn't help but watch the group of men. Not knowing why you thought you knew them annoyed you. As if they could feel your eyes on them (they could), they turned around in sync and locked eyes with you.
Their eyes widened and they all exclaimed your name in various degrees of disbelief. They rushed over to you and your husband protectively stepped in front of you
"How do you know my wife?"
"Wife?!" Some of them shouted. They were beginning to cause a scene.
"You're pregnant." The one with green eyes observed. He seemed to be having some sort of crisis.
All their eyes darted to your belly, making you uncomfortable. You placed your hand over your stomach and attempted to discretely hide behind your husband. This did not go unnoticed by them.
"You don't remember us?" The shortest of them questioned.
"No, I've never met you guys." You were very confused.
The man who appeared to be the oldest said your name. You stared at him as he studied your eyes, presumably to see if you were lying. It made you feel vulnerable and unsettled, couldn't they leave you alone?
"We're your family."
The guy with the white streaks in his hair scoffed. "You didn't treat her like she was family. I was the only one who cared for her when she was younger while you all ignored her and let her suffer. I'm glad she doesn't remember what you all did to her. She's clearly living a much better life without you lot in it."
This was getting more confusing by the second, although you felt there was truth to his words. Did you forget these people? They seemed very convincing if they were lying.
"I'm sorry but I really don't remember you guys. Maybe you have the wrong person?"
"No we don't! You disappeared one day and now that we've finally found you, you're saying you forgot everything!"
"That is enough. Please leave my wife alone, she does not know you, and she does not need the unnecessary stress of trying to remember people she's never met. Do not approach her anymore." Colossus guided you away from the men, who stared longingly at you. The heartbroken expressions they had after your husband's speech would follow you often. Were you sure you'd never met them before?
---
Words: 1,847
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h00nerz · 8 months
Text
cruel summer!
“i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”
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masterlist | moodboard | playlist
paring: choi yeonjun x fem!reader
genre: summer romance/fling, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, fluff, angst
word count: 30k
warnings: profanity, suggestive content, cheating, divorce, implications of sex but no smut, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking weed i think, that’s it afaik
summary: following a painful divorce from your father, your mother is desperate to escape from reality. it turns out, the best way to do that is to visit your childhood vacation spot you hadn’t been to in nearly a decade. you’re reunited with your old friend, choi yeonjun, who has grown from some annoying, scrawny kid into a handsome, charming man. when yeonjun sets his sights on you, it’s practically impossible to resist his charm. the only issue is summer can’t last forever, and neither can your romance.
authors note: this fic is literally six months in the making so i am beyond enthused i’m finally able to post it! this is truly a massive fic i am so so sorry but i hope you’ll enjoy reading it!! thanks to everyone who’s supported my adventure writing this thing, especially linny and sav!
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IT WAS INCREDIBLE TO YOU HOW all it took was one little choice to completely alter the course of someone’s life. When you were eleven, you’d opted for a different way to walk home from school, and just happened to pass by a ballet studio where a group of dancers were practicing. From that moment on, you’d become infatuated with dance, convincing your parents to let you enroll in a studio and beginning your own career as a dancer. When you were seventeen, you chose not to go to school one day just because you didn’t feel like it, and the bus you usually took had gotten into a bad wreck that morning.
Most notable, though, was when you were twenty-one, when your dad had made the choice to sleep with your family’s housekeeper, and your mom chose to come home from her business trip a day early to surprise the family. Those two choices led to your mother catching your father in the act, and then to her retaining an attorney to draft up divorce papers. Before you even had a moment to stop and process everything that was going on, your parents were split up, and your dad disappeared without so much as a goodbye.
You expected for your mom to be more upset. After all, her husband of 25 years had just thrown away the trust they’d spend so long to build away like it was nothing, but she wasn’t. Her focus remained on her work, the same as it always had. Work was always something very important to your mother, even since you were just a little girl. Consequently, she wasn’t home very much when you were growing up, which you thought you were fine with at the time. It wasn’t until you were older you reflected back on your childhood and how it affected you. At some point, you wondered if it was part of the reason your parents’ marriage ended the way you did, but you knew it was still your dad’s fault at the end of the day.
You never suspected anything to be wrong with her until she randomly suggested the two of you go spend the summer at your old family beach house together. There was no reason she would have proposed taking an entire three months away from her work--alone with you, nonetheless--unless she was searching for some kind of distraction from all of the events that had transpired in the earlier months. 
It had been nearly a decade since the last time you visited your old beach house. You had gone nearly every summer of your childhood there, spending the long hours of the summer days building sand castles and swimming with the friends you had made while you were there. Then, when the sun was starting to set, you would wander around town with your parents, getting dinner together and then some ice cream that you would eat while you pointed out different constellations in the stars. You had amazing memories associated with the little beach town, but that's all they were. Memories.
You were now finishing up your junior year of college, and those three months of summer were the last you’d have before you started your senior year, and prepared for graduating. So, truthfully, spending an entire summer in some rinky-dink town alone with your mother did not sound too enticing. However, you knew she was going through a difficult time, and frankly so were you. You convinced yourself that this bonding experience was exactly what the two of you needed, and even though you would rather stay in your hometown and have some fun with your friends before being thrust into the real world, you decided to go. 
The little beachside town was exactly how you remembered it. Warm, friendly, and full of life. Everywhere you looked, there were people out and about, taking advantage of the city sidewalks and the nice weather to get to where they needed to go. It was a beautiful little town, and even though you hadn’t really wanted to go in the first place, you found yourself reveling in the familiar feeling. You even caught sight of the little ice cream stall on main street your family always went to in the past. A thick wave of nostalgia washed over you, and suddenly you felt like a little girl all over again. But when you looked to your left, the sight of your mother driving the car and not your father grounded you to the reality of your situation.
“Aw, look, Y/N? Remember that store? You would always pick something out to bring home.” Your mother laughed as you cruised down main street, and you peered out the window to see the little souvenir shop you always visited while you were in town. Instinctively, your fingers leapt to your neck, toying with the shell necklace you chose to wear for your trip.
“And there! Isn’t that where your little friend used to live?” She looked the most excited you’d seen her in awhile as she scanned the buildings you passed by. It made you feel better about your decision to agree to this trip.
“You mean Jisu?” You asked, tilting your head to get a better look at the house. Jisu’s family actually lived in the town, and she was one of the friends you had made when you were younger. You never really kept in touch with her outside of your time spent together, so you had no idea what she was up to these days. You weren’t even sure her family still lived in town.
“Yes, Jisu! Oh, the Chois were such a lovely family, we should stop by and see if they’re still around, maybe we could even ask them to dinner.”
She continued to point out random landmarks and recall old memories as you drove through the little town, but at some point you had drowned her out. You instead took in the surroundings for yourself, letting your own memories play out in your head. You, Jisu and your other friend Chaeryeong would ride your bikes around the town and use the money your parents gave you to get giant snow cones together. It was crazy to think that you once considered those girls to be your closest friends in the whole world, now you could barely remember what they looked like.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of your mother blabbing on about all the things your family used to do, and all the things she wanted to do now, you reached your old beach house. As soon as you saw it, you were reminded of all your childhood memories of that little house. Playing board games in the sun room, sitting on the porch and watching the sun dip down below the waves, eating waffles for breakfast every morning…
“Y/N, come on, your bags.” Your mother’s voice interrupted your little slideshow of memories playing in your brain. You would have more time to reminisce later.
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A COUPLE OF HOURS AFTER YOUR ARRIVAL, most of your belongings were unpacked, and you were ready for dinner. Unfortunately for you, though, your mother was not ready, since she had apparently decided to bring her entire closet on the trip and had barely made it halfway through unpacking by the time you were finished. More fortunate, however, she told you to just go pick up dinner for the both of you from a local restaurant while she worked, so you wouldn’t have to sit around and wait for her.
Jake’s was an old burger shop that was very popular amongst the town, and for good reason, too. Their cheeseburgers were some of the best you’d ever come across during your twenty plus years on earth, and you were very excited to finally have one again after all these years. You hoped they still held up. As soon as you walked through the door, the aroma of all the different foods filled your nose, and another thick wave of nostalgia hit you like a truck. You were immediately reminded of the nights your family spent in a booth there, your mother and dad talking about whatever nonsense while you contently sipped on your milkshake that was nearly twice the size that you were. 
You had already called in the order before leaving, so all you had to do now was sit and wait for them to be ready with your food. Two double cheeseburgers, two medium fries, a large chocolate milkshake and a large strawberry milkshake. The thought of getting to drink one of those milkshakes after all these years made your mouth water.
“Y/N?” You heard a voice call out, and whipped around to face the direction it had come from. At first you thought it was your food being done, but instead it was a familiar face you hadn’t seen in years.
“Jisu! Hi!” You greeted your old friend, holding your arms out to envelop her in a warm hug. The interaction felt somehow foreign and familiar at the same time, but mostly the latter. 
“Wow! It’s been, what, nine years since we last saw each other?” She asked after pulling away from the hug, her hands still rested on your forearms.
“Something like that.” You laughed softly, taking a moment to really take in how much she had changed over the years. She obviously looked completely different, since she was a grown woman now, but she also looked exactly the same. “You still live here?”
She nodded, looking you up and down as she did the same thing you did. “Yep. I mean, I go to college out of town so I’m gone during the school year, but I always come back home when I get the chance.” She smiled fondly at you, and she had the kind of smile that made you feel all warm and fuzzy all over just at the sight of it. “What about you?”
The two of you continued to chat, catching one another up on the basics of how things had gone over the last nine years. It turned out both she and Chaeryeong’s families still lived in the area, and the two were still very close friends. She even suggested the three of you get together sometime soon, for old time’s sake. You filled her in on how you were also attending school, and still did dance as a hobby to keep you busy. You chose to leave out the part of your life where your dad cheated with the housekeeper that was only a few years older than you, and the part where your parents got a divorce. It wasn’t something you were quite ready to tell people about, not even Jisu.
You were interrupted by your name being called, which meant your food was finally ready.
“Well, I guess we should probably head back to our own places before our food gets cold, right?” Jisu suggested, clutching her own bag of food between her hands.
“Probably. I think my mom will kill me if I let her shake melt.” You replied, which earned a laugh out of Jisu.
“Hey, um, a few of my friends are having a big bonfire party on the beach tomorrow night, you should come.” She told you as you both exited the small restaurant, an invitation that made your heart flip. You suddenly felt horrible for never keeping in contact with her, because she was much sweeter than any of your friends at home. You had been in town less than twenty four hours, and she was already inviting you to spend time with her.
“Really?” You asked her, raising your eyebrows. “Yeah, I would love to come!” 
“Really?” She echoed, eyes widening as if you had just told her you would give her a thousand dollars. “That’s great! I’ll let them know you’re coming, I’m sure most of them will love to see you again!” She spoke giddily, nearly leaping out of her own skin from excitement.
You bid each other goodbye, and then went your separate ways. The entire walk back to the house, you couldn’t hide your happiness no matter how hard you tried. Maybe, just maybe, this trip wasn't going to be as bad as you had anticipated. You shouldn’t have spoken so soon, though, as you still had three months to go.
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FOR THE LIFE OF YOU, you could not figure out why this party was making you so nervous. You’d spent nearly an hour in your closet, digging through your clothes and throwing them around so by the time you’d finally settled on something, your floor had disappeared under a sea of clothes. Maybe it was because you were going to be here for three months, and if you didn’t make friends now, you were going to spend all that time alone with no one except your own mother, who would surely drive you insane.
At first, you felt a bit guilty about leaving her home alone all night, but luckily for you, she had found some old friends of her own to go out with. And now, here you were, standing on the sidewalk and staring down at the beach where the fire was already going, and a lot more than a few friends had gathered to party. You were trying to find Jisu amidst the crowd of people, so you could easily approach her first, but you were having a difficult time locating her in the darkness. And you probably looked like an idiot, just standing there and waiting for something, but you would rather do that than have to go down there alone.
It had been a long time since you’d been to a proper party. Sure, you had lots of friends of your own back in the city, but most of them were too school oriented to ever attend parties, and you were afraid of going to one without at least one of your friends. So, you were definitely afraid now. 
“Yeri!” You heard a voice behind you shout, and nearly jumped out of your own skin when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You flipped around to see some guy you’d never met before standing behind you, a panicked look on his face as he held up his hands in surrender. “Oh, sorry. Definitely not Yeri.”
“No, not Yeri.” You laughed nervously, reaching up to protectively hold your shoulders. 
“Hmm, I don’t think we’ve met before? If you’re not Yeri, who are you?” He asked inquisitively, taking a step closer to you as you tried to turn away from him.
“Oh, my name is Y/N.” You replied, your cheeks warming at how close he was standing next to you. In the darkness of the night, you couldn’t quite make out his face, but guessing by the few features that were illuminated by the glow of the bonfire, you could guess he was quite handsome. The realization suddenly made you even more nervous.
“Y/N? Like Y/N L/N?” You glanced over at him to see him gaping at you in surprise, and furrowed your eyebrows together.
“Uh, yeah? Why?”
He laughed softly. “So, you don’t recognize me?” He rose an eyebrow at you, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You could barely see his face, how were you supposed to recognize him?
“No… Should I?” You queried, tilting your head to the side as if it would give you a better view of his face.
“I don’t know… Does Crab Castle ring a bell?” And ring a bell it did. Those two words immediately gave you flashbacks to one summer you’d been in town, and one of Jisu’s cousins had come to visit as well. He and you had been building sand castles on the same beach, when you first ran into each other, and at first you had decided he was your rival. You tried everything in your power to sabotage his castles, and he destroyed your’s. But, another kid had showed up on the same beach, and his castles were much more intricate and sophisticated than either of yours’. So, you proposed the two of you teamed up to make the best castle that beach had ever seen. 
That was how Crab Castle was born, the sand castle that you had, at the time, thought was the greatest sand castle ever to be built. It had multiple towers, and archways, and you even made your own custom crab emblem to decorate the castle. It took you from sunrise until sunset to build it, and before you were dragged home by your parents, you decided to destroy it together, which had honestly been way more fun than your time spent building it up.
Your eyes went wide.
“Yeonjun?!” You laughed in disbelief, taking a step back to get a better look at him. Compared to the weird little boy you had competed with on the beach ten years ago, he was a completely different person. A taller, more muscular, and definitely more good-looking person. You couldn’t believe it was Yeonjun standing in front of you. “Holy shit, you look…”
“Taller? Hotter? More muscular?” He grinned, raising one of his arms to flex his biceps, but you hurriedly smacked his arm before he could.
“Don’t do that, weirdo.” You wrinkled your nose, and he laughed at that. “What are you doing here? I thought you lived in the city?” 
He shrugged. “My friends and I wanted to do something fun this summer, have an adventure, I guess, and I thought it would be a good idea to come spend time down here.” His gaze shifted over to the bonfire, where you assumed these friends he was talking about were hanging out. “What about you? You guys haven’t been down here in forever. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“My mom wanted to take a girls trip, just the two of us.” You told him.“And since I’m graduating next year, I thought it would be good to have one last adventure before I have to get a real job.” 
He nodded slowly, and you watched as he looked you up and down slowly, as if he was taking all of you in. “Cool, cool… So you’re here all summer then?”
“Yeah.” You answered, and began to chew the inside of your cheek. “You?”
“Yeah.” He echoed, and you felt your heart begin to race. An entire three months in the same town as Yeonjun, a boy you hadn’t thought about in half a decade, but a boy who had grown into a very, very attractive man. “We’ll have to hang out sometime. Outside of a party, I mean.” 
Your eyes widened. “Oh, sure. If I have the time.” You blink at him, completely aware of how stupid you must sound. But he didn’t seem to mind, instead letting out a little laugh at your comment.
“Well, try to pencil me in your busy schedule, okay?” He smiled at you, a smile that made your heart flutter. Jeez, you couldn’t believe how tremendously down bad you already were, after spending less than ten minutes with him. This definitely wasn’t normal for you. 
He started to walk away, as if that was the end of the conversation, but you quickly panicked. “Wait! Do you know where Jisu is? She invited me, and I should probably go and talk to her.” 
Graciously, Yeonjun led you down to the party, letting you trail behind him like some kind of lost puppy looking for its owner. Once you were down by the actual fire, the party felt a lot smaller, like there weren’t nearly as many people as you thought. Or maybe it was just because you were so focused on Yeonjun, you barely noticed the other people around you. Either way, your nerves were starting to feel much more at ease than before.
“Ahh! Y/N!” Jisu greeted you once Yeonjun had finally delivered you to your old friend, and she threw her arms around your neck to pull you in for a tight hug. You could smell the cheap beer on her breath, giggling to yourself at how tipsy she already was. “Look, Chaer! It’s Y/N!” 
She pulled away from you to let you get a good look at your other old friend, Chaeryeong, who had that same phenomenon of looking completely different yet exactly the same. She greeted you with a hug as well, cooing about how good it was to see you. As she hugged you, you glanced over at Yeonjun, who was watching the whole interaction, and mouthed a silent “thank you”. He gave you a salute before turning and disappearing into the crowd.
“Were you just with Yeonjun?” Jisu asked, eyeing you suspiciously.
“Hm? Oh, yeah, we ran into each other on the way in. I barely even recognized him.” You explained to her, letting out a little laugh as you spoke. You expected her to laugh, too, but instead her suspicious eyes narrowed.
“He’s hot, right?” Chaeryeong giggled, leaning onto your shoulder as though you were the best of friends. Your cheeks heated up at the comment, as you frantically began to shake your head. 
“Nononono, that’s not what I meant! It’s just crazy how much people can change in ten years, isn’t it? One day, they’re a little kid throwing sand in your eyes, and the next they’re, like, a mature adult.” 
Jisu snorted. “He is not mature. You should have heard him whining yesterday when his friends were making fun of him for liking mint chocolate chip ice creams. He’s more like a baby than a grown adult.” She told you, then took a long sip of her drink. “Anyway, you should be careful around him. My aunt says he’s dated, like, six girls in the last year. He’s a whore.” She said, and Chaeryeong nodded in agreement.
“Mhm! Guys like him, Y/N, they only want one--” she leaned forward and wagged a singular finger in your face. “--one thing!” She warned you, and although you believed her, it was hard to take her seriously with how obviously out of it she was.
“Okay, I think I get it.” You laughed nervously, holding your hands up in defense. “No talking to Yeonjun. I’ll just hang out with you guys instead.” 
They seemed to like the sound of that idea, letting out loud cheers and pulling you in for another hug. “It’s so nice to have you back, Y/N! Hey, tomorrow, we should go get snow cones! Just like old times!” Jisu sang. “But, first, let’s get you something to drink!” 
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THE NEXT MORNING YOU WOKE UP with a throbbing headache. You weren’t sure how much you drank the night before--actually, you weren’t sure of anything from the night before. Your memory was foggy, leaving very little that you could actually recall. 
You can remember trying to shotgun one of your cans of beer (you can’t remember if you were actually able to do it or not), and you remember telling Chaeryeong and Jisu all about your first boyfriend, and then you remember being wet. You don’t remember why you were wet, or rather how you got wet, you just remember being wet. 
You were barely given any time to adjust to the sunlight that was currently flooding the entirety of your bedroom when your mother was suddenly opening your door, the sound of her voice causing you to groan out in pain.
“Y/N, I need you to pick us up some breakfast.” She told you flatly, and you slammed your pillow down over your own head to try and muffle her.
“Why can’t you?” You asked, dragging out the last vowel. You said a silent prayer that someone would strike her down so she would stop talking to you. But also that they would do it in a quiet way as to spare your already sensitive skull.
“Because, I’m busy. Besides, you can pick yourself up some coffee, it’ll help with your hangover.” 
You rolled your eyes. “I am not hungover. It’s just allergies.” You lied, though you weren’t totally sure why you even bothered when you knew that she knew exactly what was wrong with you. “But fine. Give me a few minutes.”
With your surrender, she made a small “hmph” and closed your door, finally leaving you alone. Getting up, going outside, walking around and talking to people was your absolute worst nightmare at the moment, but you knew your mother. If she wanted you to do something, she wouldn’t leave you alone until you did it. She was stubborn, in that way, determined to get exactly what she wanted.
So, despite your body screaming at you to go curl up under your covers and die, you forced yourself off of your bed and pulled on the first clothes you could find--your old Stranger Things t-shirt your cousin had gotten you for your fifteenth birthday, and a pair of sweat shorts. To complete the look, you threw on the singular pair of sunglasses you owned--which were big, red, heart shaped ones. Personally, you thought it was the peak of fashion.
Even under your sunglasses, you were attacked by the outside light when you stepped outside. You half contemplated crawling under the porch to sleep there, since even that would be more bearable than this, but your mother would probably burn you alive if you did that. And as badly as you already wanted to die at the moment,  you would prefer it if it wasn’t by your mother’s hand.
And just when it seemed like your morning couldn’t get any worse, it did.
“Y/N?” Oh no. 
You were stopped in the middle of the sidewalk by the sound of your name. Reluctantly you turned around, filled with dread when you saw none other than Yeonjun standing behind you, observing you with an amused expression. Now you were praying it was you who would be struck down.
Yeonjun, the man you had once been enemies with, who was now extremely attractive. Yeonjun, who you were not supposed to talk to. That Yeonjun was staring at you, a smile tugging on his lips as he looked you up and down to get a good look at your current state.
“Jeez, how much did you drink last night?” He laughed, and last night you probably would have enjoyed the sound of his laughter, but now it made you want to throw up.
“I don’t know. Too much. My memory is all clouded up, you know.” You responded, raising your hand to protect your eyes from the sun like a visor. 
Now that it was daytime, you were finally able to get a good look at him. You already knew he was pretty, after seeing him last night, but you didn’t really get to see how pretty he was. His dark hair was grown out into a mullet, which wasn’t always the best look, but he pulled it off like no other. He was wearing a tank top that let you get a good look at his sun-kissed skin, which was perfectly smooth like he had been airbrushed or something. He looked like how you would have imagined one of the Greek Gods to look like.
And then it hit you. He looked too perfect, especially for a morning after a party. And especially when your friends had basically told you he was the kind of guy to party hard and take a new girl home every weekend. “Why aren’t you dying? I thought you were some kind of party boy now.”
He cocked an eyebrow at that, like he’d never been called that before. “Party boy? Who told you that?”
“Jisu and Chaeryeong.” You shrugged.
He hummed in response, looking a little less amused than before and instead a little bit more annoyed. “You know, you really shouldn’t listen to everything they tell you. Especially when they’re drunk. Chaer likes to lie for fun.” He informed you, though you weren’t all too convinced he was right about that.
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” And with that, you were just going to leave, since you were way too hungover to even be having this conversation in the first place, but then that led you to think of the cause of your hangover, and the panic that you had done something stupid the night before rammed into you full force. “Um… Did I do anything… Embarrassing last night?” 
“If you count convincing yourself you were on fire and running into the water at full speed while screaming at the top of your lungs as embarrassing, then no, you’re good.” A teasing grin appeared on his lips, and you could feel the color drain from your face. 
“Oh. So that’s why I remember being wet.” You realized, mentally slapping your forehead over and over again. “God, I think I have no choice but to steal my mom’s car and leave the country. I think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” You groaned loudly.
“Hey, hey, relax, it really wasn’t that bad. It was kind of cute, honestly.”
You gave him a deadpanned look. “Don’t lie.” Feeling way too embarrassed by that point, you were ready to go back to picking up your breakfast and trying your best to never be seen again, but you could hear him jogging up behind you as you started to walk away.
“Where are you going, anyway? Can I walk with you?” He asked, slowing to a steady pace once he reached your side.
“Um, I’m supposed to pick up waffles for my mom and I. And coffee. She said that I need a coffee.” You informed him. If your head had been hurting you a little less, you might have noticed how close he was to you, and how your fingertips were barely centimeters away from one another. And the realization would have made you nervous. Good thing you were hungover, then.
“What a coincidence! I’m supposed to get coffee, too.” 
You narrowed your eyes at him, although he wouldn’t be able to see due to your glasses. “You’re getting coffee, too? What about your friends? Shouldn’t you be out with them, or something?”
“Well, ‘Gyu might be in worse condition than you are, and Wooyoung is still asleep, so I thought I’d go get us some coffee before they wake up.” He explained to you, glancing over at you with that same, stupid smile. 
“Aw. You’re so thoughtful.” You cooed at him, to which he playfully rolled his eyes. “Will you get me my coffee, too?”
He shook his head. “Nah, not today. Another day, when you’re not all messed up, I’ll buy you some.”
“Why does it have to be when I’m not messed up?” You queried, faking a dramatic pout.
“Because…” He stopped in front of you, then leaned down so his face was closer to yours--much closer. The proximity made your heart start to hammer against your chest. “It wouldn’t be a very good date if you had a god awful headache the whole time, would it?” He spoke lowly, in a half-teasing, half-sultry tone that made your heart go crazy. 
His fingers reached out to gently brush against your skin, the contact setting your skin ablaze, and you thought he would tuck a strand of loose hair behind your ear like some kind of romcom. But, he instead tapped the edge of your sunglasses. “Cute glasses, by the way. They suit you.” He straightened back up, then started walking as if nothing had happened. 
You stood, completely dumbfounded as you watched him walk along the sidewalk, beaming with pride because you knew that he knew that he’d already started to have an effect on you, only hours after being reunited. You hated the stupid, cocky smirk he wore on his lips, and you hated the playful raise of his eyebrows as he turned back to look at you with those stupid, perfect eyes you also hated.
“Come on, slow poke. Let’s go get some coffee.”
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YOU KNEW IT WAS WRONG, you knew Jisu was going to be upset at you, but you couldn’t help it. For the next week, you could not stop thinking about Yeonjun. You couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt when his face got all close to yours, and how all of his features looked up close. His dark, intimidating yet inviting eyes. His plump, very kissable looking lips. You couldn’t stop thinking about the way his fingertips dragged against your cheek, and the electric feeling of his skin against yours. You had spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining what it would feel like if he brushed his skin against other parts of your body.
It had only taken twenty-four hours for Choi Yeonjun to infect you. You thought it couldn’t get much worse--you were wrong.
Your mom suggested a day of lounging at the beach--pulling up a couple of lounge chairs, an umbrella for shade, and a book for each of you to read. It sounded like a perfect day to you, so you agreed. So long as you got to get some ice cream to cool you down while you were out there, because lord knew it was going to get hot.
“Have you been having a good time?” Your mother asked as you played with the corner of the page you were reading, dragging your attention away from the book. You glanced over at her through your sunglasses (not the heart-shaped ones, after your horrible walk of shame, you bought a new pair), closing your book and resting it on your lap.
“Yeah, I have. It’s nice to be back here, to see everyone again.” You smiled at her, and she smiled as well.
“Good. See? I told you this trip would be good for us.” She told you matter-of-factly, pointing her own book at you for emphasis. “There’s just something about a small town like this, and getting away from everything… It’s rejuvenating.” She let out a long sigh, and you rolled your eyes at her dramatics. 
“Well, I guess you could call it that.” You agreed with her. You thought the conversation would end there, and you could go back to reading your book, but she wasn’t ready to stop talking to you yet. 
“So, you’ve been hanging out with Jisu and Chaeryeong a lot? It’s nice to see the three of you together, after all these years.” 
You nodded. “It is nice. I feel bad for not staying in contact, I feel like we missed out on years of potential friendship.” You confessed. Truthfully, you were already enjoying the last week with the two girls more than the last few years with your other friends. Sure, your friends back home were nice, but you had never clicked with them the same way you were clicking with Jisu and Chaeryeong. You hoped that when you left at the end of the summer, you’d be able to keep up with them unlike in the past.
“Aw.” She clicked her tongue, glancing away from you. “That’s great. We really need to go have dinner with the Chois. You know, I saw Jiwoo--You know, Jisu’s mother--at the store a few days ago--” She was cut off by her phone ringing, and you watched as she picked it up and walked away, saying a silent thank you now you would have some peace and quiet.
At least that’s what you were hoping for. But, of course, that was too much to ask for.
A volleyball bounced across the sand in front of you, and unsurprisingly, it was followed by a group of guys chasing after it. And just your luck, one of the guys happened to be none other than Choi Yeonjun. 
You gulped, quickly lifting your book and opening it up in an attempt to hide your face from his view. Since your last run in with him, you had been avoiding him to the best of your ability. Mostly because the more time you spent around him, the more your feelings seemed to grow, and the more guilty you felt. 
The first night Jisu had warned you about him, she had been extremely drunk, so you had considered just ignoring her, since there was a chance she didn’t really mean it. But, a day after you’d gotten coffee with him, you had hung out with her and Chaeryeong, and told them all about what happened. She was completely sober when she warned you a second time, telling you she was just looking out for you, so you decided that meant she was serious, and that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with Choi Yeonjun!
“Sorry!” One of them yelled at you, and you barely lowered your book to see it was the one with the shaggy hair. He made eye contact with you, and suddenly his entire demeanor changed. Instead of cowering down, like he was scared you would yell at him, he straightened up, holding the ball under his arm and you swore you saw him flex his muscles. 
“It’s fine.” You quipped, praying Yeonjun wouldn’t hear you. Thankfully, he looked too busy cursing out his other friend for throwing the ball out of bounds.
The shaggy haired boy ignored his friends, his eyes remaining on you. “The Summer I Turned Pretty? Is that any good?” He asked, and at first you thought he was spewing nonsense, then you realized he was talking about the book glued to the front of your face. 
If you weren’t so worried about his stupid friend noticing you, you might have actually tried to have a conversation with him. He was good looking, and seemed friendly, but you were trying to get them to go away as soon as they could, so you just gave a short nod, hoping he would take the hint and go away.
“Sorry again.” He apologized, flashing you a pearly white grin, and he started to walk away. You let out a soft sigh of relief. You had officially avoided conversation with Yeonjun, and could return to actually reading.
“Oh, hey, Y/N!”
Never mind.
You finally put your book down, since your cover had obviously been blown already. Yeonjun had spotted you, and was flashing you that same, stupid, confident grin you hated (read: loved). You reluctantly raised your hand to wave at him, giving him the best smile you could muster up. “Hi, Yeonjun.” You replied.
“Oh, Y/N! You’re the girl who thought she was on fire! I knew you looked familiar!” The shaggy hair boy announced, your cheeks becoming set ablaze at the realization that was what you were known for now.
“Yes, that was me.” You managed to get out through a pained smile. 
“Dude, that was hilarious! I’ve never seen someone more scared for their life over nothing!” Yeonjun’s other friend began to laugh, and you frowned as the other two joined in. Not in the mood for their mockery, you looked down to the pages of your book, trying your hardest to drown out their hyena-like laughter.
Yeonjun noticed your annoyance, and quickly stopped laughing, clearing his throat. “Hey, she’s also one of the greatest sand castle builders in the whole country.” He pointed out to his friends. The compliment that called all the way back to your childhood caused your cheeks to heat up again, but this time it was more out of flattery than embarrassment.
“It’s true. Better than him.” You informed his friends, gesturing towards him with your head. 
The shaggy haired one shrugged. “Yeah, I believe it. I’m Beomgyu, by the way.” He approached you, holding out his hand to shake, which you gladly did. 
“I’m Wooyoung!” The other friend interrupted, pushing Beomgyu out of the way to have his turn shaking your hand. 
Yeonjun was watching his friends smothering you, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed. “Okay, okay, she doesn’t want to know you guys, she doesn’t care.” He told them, rolling his eyes when Beomgyu shook your hand again. “Have you been sick or something? It’s been a week since I saw you.” He changed the subject, much to your dismay.
“No…” You responded.
“Weird. I guess we’ve just been missing each other all week.” He shrugged. 
“She’s probably been avoiding you because she can tell you’re a fucking loser.” Wooyoung said matter-of-factly, and Beomgyu laughed in agreement. 
Yeonjun rolled his eyes at their immature comments, but chose to ignore them. “I think I still owe you some coffee, you know.” He told you, and bumped the edge of your chair with his food. “Maybe you should give me your number. Then I won’t have to worry about trying to track you down.” 
Your eyes widened, and Beomgyu started to cough loudly. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to get out of this one. You could try to lie and say you lost your phone, or give him a fake number, but as soon as he realized it was wrong, he would probably get mad. Maybe he would get so angry he would decide “if I can’t have her, no one can!” and murder you in your sleep. That was probably not going to happen, but you could never be sure these days! Right?
You were frozen in your beach chair, and the longer it took for you to form some kind of a response, the more awkward things were becoming. You began to regret every little decision that had led you to this moment--from you deciding to join your mother for a day at the beach all the way back to letting Yeonjun build that stupid sand castle with you in the first place. 
And then, like some kind of miracle sent down from God herself, you were saved. Although, you weren’t sure if you could call it saving, since you had a feeling it was only going to make the entire interaction so much worse. 
Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, Jisu and Chaeryeong stood beside your chair, arms folded and eyes narrowed at the boys.
“Oh, hey, Jisu.” Beomgyu was first to break the painfully long silence, and the sound of someone speaking again after so long caught you so off guard you nearly jumped. “And Chaer.”
 “Hi.” Jisu greeted, then risked a glance down at you. “What’re you guys up to? I thought you were playing volleyball or something?”
“We were, but then Beomgyu almost hit her with the ball.” Wooyoung explained, gesturing over towards you. Beomgyu rolled his eyes, but made no effort to dispute Wooyoung’s words.
“I thought you were here with your mom?” Jisu asked, recalling your text messages from earlier in the morning.
“Yeah, I was. Am. She just got up to take a call.” You explained, feeling a bit like a little kid getting caught red handed, even though you really hadn’t done anything wrong. “Then Yeonjun and his friends decided to come say hi.”
Jisu nodded slowly. 
“Yeah, we were keeping her company while she was alone. Anything can happen to a pretty girl sitting out on the beach alone.” Yeonjun said, and you hated the way your cheeks heated up because of his stupid words.
“Hey!” Jisu was quick to scold. “Stop flirting with my friends, weirdo!” She snapped, jabbing her finger in his face. 
He held his hands up in defense, taking a step back to avoid his eyes being poked out by her fingertips. “I wasn’t flirting with her! I was just being honest! She’s a pretty girl!” He attempted to defend himself, but that just seemed to bother Jisu even more.
“Stop it!” She told him again, and Wooyoung began to giggle.
“You look like an angry little chihuahua. So cute.” He teased her, and you thought she might have really smacked him across his amused face if it wasn’t for Chaeryeong putting her hands on her shoulders in an attempt to relax her. 
You felt like maybe it was time you stepped in, and stood up, joining Chaeryeong in trying to calm down your friend. “It’s fine, Ji. They’re just stupid boys, ignore them.” You told her, then shot Yeonjun a glare. He tilted his head at you, like he couldn’t figure out why you might be annoyed at him. 
Stupid boys indeed.
“Ouch!” Beomgyu gasped at your words, feigning hurt and clinging onto his chest. “Your words hurt Y/N, they really do.” 
“Go back to your stupid volleyball and leave us alone.” Jisu groaned, wrapping her hand under your arm to cling onto you. “You guys are so annoying!”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “Fine. Can I at least get that phone number before I leave?” Yeonjun asked, a grin creeping onto his perfect lips.
“No!” Chaeryeong and Jisu shot back in unison, making a swatting motion with their hands to tell them to get away. Finally, Wooyoung and Beomgyu began to slowly back away--Beomgyu was still acting like he was bleeding out of his chest or something. Yeonjun lingered, though, letting out a deep exhale.
“What was it that Romeo said? Parting is such sweet sorry’s, or whatever?” He sighed, and placed a hand over his heart. “I’m gonna get that phone number, though. I swear, just wait and see!” And with that, he gave you a wink, then rushed away after his friends before Jisu got the chance to curse him out again. 
You stood quietly for a minute, mulling over his words. You felt like there was a not-so-thinly veiled threat hiding in his words. With an uneasy sigh, you glanced over at Jisu, who had her eyebrows furrowed closely, and her lips pressed together into a frown, like she was thinking about his words as well. Chaeryeong’s gaze flickered between the two of you, as she was obviously awaiting some sort of acknowledgment of what happened.
But the acknowledgement never came. Maybe Jisu had finally given up on trying to keep you away from Yeonjun, because she didn’t say anything about it. Instead, she gave you a quick hug, promising that she would see you later, before taking Chaeryeong and disappearing back to whatever they had done before. 
You wished she had been more insistent. You wished you had listened to her from the beginning.
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FOR WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A RELAXING Summer getaway for you and your mother, you sure were having a difficult time destressing. You’d been trying to sleep for at least the last hour, tossing and turning under your sheets. The millions of thoughts running rampant in your mind were what were preventing you from getting any sleep, and no matter how hard you tried, you weren’t able to put any of them to rest. The longer you laid there, feeling absolutely exhausted but unable to shut your mind down long enough to sleep, the worse your annoyance became.
At some point, you’d finally had enough. With a frustrated groan, you threw your bedsheets off of you, and swung your legs over the side of the bed. You sat for a minute, rubbing your eyes in an attempt to get them to accept you weren’t going to sleep, then finally pushed yourself to stand up. You wandered over to the large window at the edge of the bedroom, and slid it open enough you could feel the cool ocean breeze against your face. 
Finally, you were beginning to feel that relaxation you’d been longing for. With the air against your skin, and the sound of the waves rolling against the beach out in the distance, you felt your thoughts begin to dissipate. You weren’t thinking about your dad, or Jisu, or your senior year waiting for you back home, or Yeonjun, in fact you weren’t thinking about anything at all. Except, maybe, about how much you wished your bed was closer to the window.
Whack!
You were completely startled when you felt something tiny collide with your cheek, and you let out a quiet curse. Once again, you found yourself annoyed that these windows didn’t have any screens on them to protect you. Cautiously, you poked your head out the window in hopes of finding the source of whatever had hit you.
You apparently weren’t cautious enough, though, as another tiny object hit your face once again. “Ow, what the fuck!” You shouted, reaching up to rub your forehead, and then you spotted it--the source.
Standing on the lawn outside your house, with a handful of what you assumed to be pebbles, was none other than Choi Yeonjun, whose grin quickly turned into a grimace when he noticed you finally see him. 
“Shit, did I hit you? I didn’t mean to!” He called up to you in a whisper shout. 
You stared down at him, and you swore you could feel your eye twitch as your annoyance doubled. “What the hell are you doing here?” You whisper-shouted back to him, leaning forward so your upper body was now completely hanging out the window.
“You wouldn’t give me your number!” He abandoned the whisper-shout, so now it was just a shout. You quickly shushed him, glancing back at your door and half expecting to see your mother there demanding to know who was yelling outside. Thankfully, she wasn’t. “Just come down here so we can talk!” He attempted to be quiet this time, beckoning for you to go meet him.
You rolled your eyes. Of course, he just had to show up right when you were about to get some much needed sleep. If you were a smart girl, you would have just shooed him away and went back to sleep, but you weren’t. There was something about Choi Yeonjun that made you desperate to hear what he had to say. 
So,  you let out a defeated huff. Without responding, you leaned back into your room, and picked out what was supposed to be a swimsuit cover to put on over your pajamas. Once you’d tiptoed through the house, careful not to wake your mother, you carefully opened the back door to see Yeonjun still standing in the bushes, calling up to your window like you might still be inside. You laughed softly at the sight, closing the door behind you.
When you stepped into the moonlight, he finally spotted you. “Oh! I didn’t know where you went. I thought you got sick of me and went back to sleep.” 
“Mm, I thought about it.” You hummed, folding your arms across your chest in an attempt to keep your coverup from blowing open from the soft ocean breeze. You watched as his eyes drifted down to your outfit, and he lifted an eyebrow.
“Cute pajamas.” He said.
Your face warmed. “Shut up.” 
He grinned.
“So, what are you doing here?” You asked, tilting your head at him as you got closer. 
“I told you. You didn’t give me your number earlier.” He replied, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.
“So, you thought you would just show up here in the middle of the night, and I’d just give it to you?” 
“Duh. That was how Edward seduced Bella in Twilight.” 
“I really don’t think it was.” You laughed. “Also, Edward was a hot vampire who sparkled under the sunlight. You’re not quite on his level.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Ouch? You’re mean, Y/N, really mean.”
“Just to you.” You teased him, surprised at your own flirtiness. 
“How can I convince you to give me your number?” He whined. It was funny, a lot about him had changed in the last ten years, but at the same time, he was exactly the same. Annoying, whiny, but also cute. 
You eyed him carefully, taking note of how his features seemed to glow under the luminescence of the moon. He may not have been sparkly like Edward Cullen, but you thought he might be more beautiful than the vampire. “Prove it to me.” You said to him.
“Prove what?” 
“Prove to me that you’re not just some player, messing with me until you get bored and move onto the next girl.” The words tumbled out of your mouth, words you weren’t sure you were normally brave enough to say. But you did say them, and now your heart was racing, and you hoped you hadn’t said something wrong.
Yeonjun stared back at you, like a deer caught in headlights. “Is that what Jisu told you?” He asked, his voice coming out a bit quiet. 
You nodded, tightening the grip your arms held around your stomach. “She and Chaeryeong warned me, basically called you a whore…” Your voice trailed off, the last word basically a whisper. 
He said nothing for a minute, just continuing to stare back at you like you’d just dropped a huge bomb on him, then burst into laughter. “You date a few girls and suddenly you’re a whore… Sounds about right.” 
Now it was your turn to stare back at him, eyebrows furrowed as you waited for some kind of explanation. Finally, his eyes met your own confused ones, and his laughter dwindled. 
“Sorry. Look, I don’t know what Jisu told you, but it’s not true. I’m not some—some fuckboy that jumps from girl to girl.” He laughs nervously and runs a hand through his dark hair. 
“Then it shouldn’t be hard to prove it to me.” You replied, and once again, the air went quiet. 
Maybe you had been too bold. Maybe he really was just some player, looking to get a quick fix and move on, and you’d completely turned him off. It wouldn’t be the worst thing, if you had, since it would save you the hurt. On the other hand, the idea that he had set his sights on you when he first saw you at the bonfire just to hook up with you and drop you stung more than you liked to admit. 
The soft breeze that rolled in with the sea tousled its way through his hair, a few stray strands falling in front of the dark eyes that bored into your own. You thought he was just going to stand there forever, and never utter a single word to you, but then, to your surprise, there was movement. 
Before you had the chance to react, he was towering over you, and his fingers had hooked themselves under your chin to force you to look up at him. The moonlight reflecting off the back of his head caused him to look like he was glowing. 
“Y/N.” The drop in his tone sent goosebumps down your back. 
“Yeah?” You answered in the loudest voice you could conjure, which was barely a squeak. 
His eyes flickered between your own, like he was searching for something inside of them. “You’re not just some… Game to me. I want to get to know you. I want to take you on dates…” He leaned forward, so close you could feel his breath fan against the shell of your ear. “I want to kiss you.”
A shaky breath fell from your lips, and you were sure he could hear it. You wanted to kiss him, too. So badly that you wanted to cup the back of his neck and crash your mouth onto his right then and there. You upheld some restraint, though, keeping your arms pinned to your side. 
He pulled away from you, a sly smirk appearing on his lips that were very kissable, by the way. “Not now, though. If you give me your number, we’ll plan a date, and you can let me prove it to you, okay?”
It was like you were under some kind of spell, and the man glowing under the moonlight in front of you was some sort of sorcerer. You nodded dumbly. 
You caved in. You gave him your number. Then, he kissed your cheek, and bid you goodnight. Still in a daze, you watched as he disappeared into the night, leaving you alone in the sand with only the soft sounds of the waves rolling against the beach to keep you company. 
That was your first mistake. 
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YEONJUN WASTED NO TIME IN texting you the following morning. You were just finishing eating some waffles with your mom when you heard your phone buzz against the table, and picked it up to see a text message from an unknown number. 
hey ;-)
It didn’t take a genius to know who that text had come from. 
When you saw the message, a giddy feeling overcame you, and before you knew it, you were releasing the most heinous giggle you had ever let out in your life. Your mom had given you an incredulous look when the noise slipped through your lips, and you gave her a quick shrug as an apology. 
You snuck off to your bedroom, collapsing onto the mattress stomach first. You looked like a girl straight out of some Disney Channel romcom, legs kicked up in the air behind you and your lip tucked between your teeth as you tried to bite back an embarrassingly wide smile. 
After Yeonjun left, you had barely gotten any sleep. All you could do was replay that moment over and over again, the way his warm breath felt against your skin, the low vibration of his voice so close to your ear, as he told you he wanted to kiss you… It sent shivers down your spine every time you thought about it, without fail. So, it was safe to say you had been anticipating his text message for hours.
You finally typed up a response, hitting the send button then anxiously staring back at your screen as you awaited a response. Like most phones due, the screen dimmed after about ten seconds of nothing happening, and you let out a defeated huff. Right as you were going to give up, and let it turn itself off, the screen brightened again, as a thought bubble appeared at the bottom of the screen.
wanna grab lunch today? a little birdy told me ur a big fan of jakes
You were no longer able to bite back the smile. The grin spread across your lips as you texted back a yes.
There was no point in driving from the house you stayed in over to Jake’s, since it was only about a ten minute walk, so you assumed you would just be meeting Yeonjun there. About fifteen minutes before you’re supposed to meet, though, you walk out the front door and are surprised to see the man of the hour standing on your porch, back leaning against one of the columns and phone in his hands that kept him from noticing your presence right away. 
He was wearing the most casual clothes you could imagine—a soft blue button up shirt and some shorts, but he still looked like he walked off the set of some modeling shoot. He still hadn’t noticed you, yet, typing away on his phone. Or maybe he had, and was teasing you. 
You cleared your throat, which was apparently enough to grab his attention as his head snapped up. “Oh, hey. I was just about to text you.” He grinned at you, and you tried to ignore the way his voice made your stomach churn. 
“What are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet there?” You asked bluntly. 
“I told you I would walk you there, didn’t I?” He tilted his head at you, and you shook your head. “Oh. Oops. Well, I’m walking you there.” He smiled, and pushed himself off of the column. 
You shook your head. “You didn’t have to do that.” You told him, as you started to descend the porch stairs. 
“I know. That’s what makes it so charming, isn’t it?” He hummed, following behind you. “You look nice, by the way. I like your dress.” 
The compliment slipped from him so casually, your face immediately felt hot. Your gaze drifted down to the little sun dress you had spent so long picking out, and now you were glad you had. “Thanks. You look nice, too.” You muttered. 
“What did you say?” He used his long legs to advantage, catching right up next to you so he could lean down close. He wasn’t nearly as close to you as he had been the night before, but it still flustered you, nonetheless.
“I said, your shoes are goofy.” You responded, pointing down to the Crocs he was wearing. 
He gasped. “You don’t rock with the crocs?” 
“Ew. If you say that ever again, I’m going to go home and block your number.” You laughed, your nose scrunched up in disgust. 
“You wouldn’t do that. You and I both know you can’t resist my charm.” He spoke confidently, basically puffing out his chest. 
You rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t help a small giggle. 
The two of you kept up the casual conversation on your venture to the diner, and you were surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. Even though you felt beyond nervous, the words fell smoothly from your lips, and by the time the two of you were situated in a booth inside Jake’s, you could feel the nerves melting away. 
It didn’t take long for them to resurface, though. Once your food was ordered, you were sitting directly across from him, and it was becoming harder and harder to avoid his intense gaze. Yeonjun was much more confident than you, his eyes locked onto yours, while your own eyes darted around to avoid him. 
The waiter brought over your drinks, and you noticed as he lowered onto the table that his nametag read Jake.
“Jake? Did you start working here because your name is Jake, or is your name Jake because you work here?” You asked him.
He smiled at you, and you thought he had a nice smile. “It’s funny, actually. My parents opened the place up before I was born, and called it Jake’s. Then, I was born, and they thought, ‘you know what would be a good name for our son? The name of our restaurant.’ Awful, right?” He asked you, and you giggled. 
“A really, really sad story.” Yeonjun pretended to pout, then his expression morphed into a nasty glare. Jake looked uneasy, giving you a small nod before returning to the kitchen. You frowned as you looked back at Yeonjun. 
“What the hell was that?” 
“He was totally flirting with you.” Yeonjun grumbled, tucking his straw between his lips.
“He was not. He was just being nice.” You rolled your eyes, and Yeonjun quirked his eyebrows up in response, like he was saying whatever, but he didn’t say anything else about the subject.
He cleared his throat. “So, you’re in college, right?” 
You nod. 
“You’ve gotta be graduating soon, I’m guessing? What’s your major?” He asked you, leaning back in his seat comfortably. 
“Environmental science.” You replied with a shrug. “What about you? Are you in school?” 
He winced at the question. “Nah. I tried it, after I graduated high school, but it just… It wasn’t for me.” He said, rubbing his arm. 
“I get that. It sucks, I honestly don’t know how I made it this far.” You laughed. “If you’re not in school, then what have you been up to?”
His cheeks started to redden. “Uh, I work at a phone store…” 
You could tell he was hiding something else. “That’s it?” You tried to encourage him to keep going. 
“No… Promise you won’t laugh…” 
“I promise.” You leaned forward, becoming intrigued. 
He pulled his lips into a tight line, before letting out a deep breath. “Okay, I post dance covers online. I’m trying to get scouted.” He confessed, and for the first time since you’d come on this trip, it looked like he was the nervous one. 
Before you could stop yourself, you let out a laugh. 
“You just said you wouldn’t laugh!” He shouted at you accusingly, and you quickly shook your head. 
“No, no, I’m not laughing at the dance! I just thought it was funny that you were acting all shy about it!” You jumped to exclaim, your hands instinctively darting out to hold his wrists. “I think it’s really cool!” 
He eyed you suspiciously, before his gaze lowered to your hands. You pulled them away, afraid you were making him uncomfortable, but he grabbed ahold of one of them before it got too far.
You flushed. “So, you dance? How long have you been doing that?” You grabbed your drink to take a big gulp, suddenly feeling very hot.
He hummed in thought, his cool demeanor quickly making a reappearance. “I think I started when I was 12? I’m not sure. I’ve been doing it so long, it’s hard to keep track.” He told you, dark eyes trained on your hands. “In college--the one year I was there--I was a part of the school’s dance team. But, something happened, and I decided it wasn’t for me.” 
“What happened?”
“You don’t want to hear about all of that. Trust me, it’ll bore you.” He gave you a reassuring smile, and you didn’t want to push him to talk about it, instead just giving him a short nod. “So, graduating next year, huh? Is that why you decided to come visit for the Summer?” 
Not exactly, you thought to yourself, but you weren’t exactly ready to drop all the gritty details about the last few months of your life, and your parents’ messy divorce onto him. Instead, you settled on a “yep”, and took another sip of your drink. 
That was how most of the rest of your lunch went. Discussing the little details of your lives with one another, but purposefully leaving out the stuff he didn’t really need to know about. When Jake came back to give you your food, Yeonjun once again glared at him as though he could ignite him with his eyes if he tried hard enough, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong that you could think of. You wondered if they knew each other and had some past drama with one another, or maybe he was just incredibly jealous.
Throughout the date, you hadn’t been able to decide why Jisu had been so adamant about warning you to stay away from Yeonjun. Sure, maybe at first you got a bit of those vibes from him, but it didn’t take much conversation to prove he was more than all of that. He was genuinely sweet, and you could feel he really cared about you. You challenged him to prove himself to you, and he was already winning the challenge. 
He walked you back to your house, his hand brushing dangerously close against yours the whole way. You wished he would just grab it and hold onto it the way he did back at the restaurant. He didn’t, though. Instead he kept teasing you, bumping his fingers a giant your own, and acting as though he was oblivious to the contact. 
“Thank you for lunch.” You told him once the two of you had made it back to your porch, where you knew your mother was spectating from one of the windows. 
“Thanks for coming with me.” He smiled down at you, and of course, his charming smile made your stomach flutter. 
The two of you stood awkwardly, neither quite sure what to say, but what you were sure of was neither of you were ready to say goodbye yet. 
“So? Have I proved myself to you yet?” He asked. 
You hummed in response, knowing your answer was without a doubt yes, but you weren’t ready to tell him that. “I’m not sure. I think it’s going to take a few more burgers. Maybe a milkshake…” 
He laughed. “Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow, and you nodded. “Okay. I’ll buy you as many burgers as my phone store salary can afford.” 
“And a milkshake?”
“And a milkshake.” He suddenly reached out and tapped his finger against your nose, startling you to the point you jumped at the touch. He giggled at your reaction. 
The familiar tune of an Ariana Grande song started playing, and you watched with furrowed brows as he dug his phone out of his pocket. He glanced at you with a knowing look before answering the call.
You watched as he talked on the phone, presumably to Beomgyu or Wooyoung, once again finding yourself admiring his beauty. You could look at Yeonjun a million times, and never get over how gorgeous he was. In your twenty-one years on Earth, you’d never wanted to kiss someone so bad. A part of you thought maybe he would do it now, on your doorstep, but you also knew it wasn’t time. Besides, you didn’t want to share your first kiss with him in broad daylight where your mother was watching. 
“You’re such an idiot, Beomgyu… Alright, alright! I’m on my way!” He hung up the phone, a frustrated groan escaping from his mouth. “I’m sorry, Y/N, my friends are idiots who apparently don’t know how to make ramen in the microwave.” He rolled his eyes. 
“It’s okay. I’ve had stupid friends, too, I understand.” You smiled at him, reaching out to pat his arm comfortingly. 
Just like the night before, he bent down to kiss your cheek, and just like the night before, you were desperate for more. “Okay. I’ll text you later, alright?”
“Yeah. Later.”
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YEONJUN DID NOT TEXT YOU BACK LATER. When your mother dragged you out to the beach again, you kept your phone close to you, nearly falling out of your beach chair every time it buzzed. But, never did one of the buzzes belong to the person you were most waiting for. 
When you and your mother visited a local barbecue restaurant for dinner, you turned your phone off completely, hoping that pretending to be uninterested would make the text come faster. About halfway through eating, though, you excused yourself to the bathroom and powered your phone back up, waiting for the text to come through. 
It didn’t. 
When you couldn’t sleep, once again, you crept over to your window and half hoped he would be down there, and throw a pebble at you again. At first, you thought you saw him standing in the beach grass, but it was just an old fence post. No matter how hard you tried to will it, he wasn’t coming, and he wasn’t going to text you. 
You’d given up all hope by the time you woke up, and there was no message. Honestly, you were prepared to sit around all day and feel dejected, but thank god for Choi Jisu and Lee Chaeryeong. Apparently, there was going to be a big party that night, and they wanted the three of you to go together. And, lucky for you, a party was the perfect way to get Choi Yeonjun out of your head. 
“So, you got lunch with Yeonjun yesterday?” Jisu asked you, the question causing you to flinch and nearly stab your own ear with your earring. You were all currently in Jisu’s room, getting ready for the big party. 
“How did you know about that?” You slowly glanced over at her, slipping the earring through your piercing. 
Jisu shrugged. “It’s a small town, Y/N. Word travels fast.” She paused, looking over at Chaeryeong. “Plus, Chaer’s boyfriend works at Jake's.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!” Chaeryeong immediately exploded, and Jisu rolled her eyes. 
“Yeah, sure he’s not. But, he said he saw Yeonjun come in with a girl, but he didn’t know her name, so we put two and two together.” Jisu explained. 
“Oh. Well, yeah, I did… Are you mad?” You meekly asked, shifting your gaze towards her to gauge her reaction. 
Jisu froze for a moment, a finger pressed against her lips as though she was deep in thought. “Hmm… No. I’m not mad.” She decided after a minute. “If you really, fully believe that he’s not playing you, then I’m happy for you. He’s a good guy, just really, really, really deep down.” 
Chaeryeong giggled, and you frowned. “Thank you, Jisu. Really. Although, you might be right…”
“What?! What happened? I’ll kill him!” Jisu exclaimed, flipping around to face you. 
“Nothing! It’s just… He told me he was going to text me yesterday, after our lunch, and he never did.” You averted her gaze, realizing how stupid it all sounded the minute the words left your mouth. The two of you had barely been apart for 24 hours, it was normal for him not to text you, right? You probably sounded insane and boy-crazy.
Your friends didn’t think so, though. 
“What?! He’s such an ass! The least you can do after harassing a girl for her number is text her!” Chaeryeong’s outburst instantly made you feel much better about your insecurities.
“What a loser. See, Y/N, I told you!” Jisu pointed at you scoldingly as she made her way over to her vanity. 
“But that doesn’t mean he’s a player, right? We haven’t even kissed. If he was just messing with me, he would have at least tried to have gotten something before he ghosted me, right?” You started rambling, the fear that you really had been played overcoming you.
Chaeryeong shrugged. “Maybe he’s a different kind of whore. Maybe he just wants emotional attention, not physical stuff.” She suggested, which made you feel even worse.
Jisu must have noticed you starting to freak out, as she let out a sigh and returned to be by your side. “Hey. He’s probably just an idiot who forgot. That doesn’t make him a fuckboy, it just makes him stupid. But if he is purposefully ghosting you, then he’s even more of an idiot, and you should just forget about him.” She rubbed your shoulder, and gave you a soft smile through the mirror you stood in front of. 
“Either way, he’s stupid.” Chaeryeong pointed out, and the three of you started nodding in affirmation. 
With all of that in mind, the three of you finished getting ready, and headed over to the party. You weren’t sure if Yeonjun was going to be there, but you hoped he was. Jisu and Chaeryeong had helped you pick out the perfect floral top, and a cute little skirt to go with it. You could confidently say that you looked good. A smaller part of you hoped he wasn’t there, though, because you deserved at least one night to yourself without thinking of him. 
The party, you discovered, was being hosted by none other than Jake, the waiter you had met the day before. Apparently, his parents always took a trip for one week in the Summer, and on the Saturday of that week, he always threw a huge party. It had become a tradition. And, more importantly, the Sim family owned a huge house right on the beach, which made it the perfect spot to party. 
“Wow. So, Jake’s family is rich.” You breathed out once you all made it to the destination. You thought they had been over exaggerating about the estate, but they were rather under exaggerating. 
“Yep. Aside from the diner, Jake’s dad owns tons of real estate in the area. The burger shop is more of a hobby for him.” Chaeryeong explained to you, looking over with a big smile. 
You nodded in understanding, shifting your gaze back over to take in the size of the house once again. 
“Chaeryeong!” The three of you craned your necks in unison to see a guy you recognized from the diner approaching your little group. “I’m glad you made it. Save me a dance?” He grinned down at her, and though it was dark outside, you swore you could see your friend start to blush.
It was cute, you hadn’t really seen her get so shy before. You assumed he must have been her “boyfriend” from the diner Jisu was talking about. “In your dreams, Seungmin.” She replied, her hand coming up to push against his shoulder. 
Seungmin laughed, then looked over to you and Jisu. “Hey, Ji. And hey…?”
“Y/N.” You filled in, giving him a polite smile. 
“Ahh, so you’re Y/N. Chaeryeong was telling me about you.” He said with a nod, and you shot Chaeryeong a questioning glance. 
“Good things, I swear.” She was quick to reassure you, then shot Seungmin a glare.
“Yep! Good things only! Like how you were so drunk you thought you had caught on fire.”
“Chaer!” You scolded your friend as Jisu and Seungmin started to laugh together. She shrugged in response, giving you a weak smile. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N! It was just a funny story, you have to admit!” She giggled, and you rolled your eyes. “Come on, I know what will cheer you up!” 
You huffed, slumping your shoulders dramatically as you followed her, Jisu and Seungmin inside. You were surprised by how many people had turned up to the party, you didn’t even know that many people lived in the little beach town. Though, you supposed some of them might have been vacationing there, the same as you. 
Your friends led you back to the drinks—aka the back porch, where a keg had been set up as well as a table filled with all sorts of stuff. You were nearly kicked in the face as a girl swung her legs into the air to do a handstand on the keg, and a small group of people started to cheer loudly for her. You wove your way in and out of the small crowd, and over towards the table to get a drink. 
“Here. Let me make you all the Jisulada.” Jisu announced, grabbing four plastic cups and placing them in a line in front of her. You watched as she began to combine random ingredients into the cups, and you could feel your stomach churn at the sight. 
“There’s no real recipe. She just adds random shit every time.” Seungmin leaned down to inform you, and you laughed as you watched her pump random bottles of syrup. 
“And yet, somehow it’s always delicious.” Chaeryeong watched Jisu with furrowed eyebrows, complexed as to how all the ingredients could turn out good. 
Jisu handed you each a cup. “Cheers!” 
You all bumped your plastic cups against each other, then took a sip. Chaeryeong was right, the drink was actually pretty good. It was too bad Jisu made it up on the spot, and probably wouldn’t be able to teach it to you. 
Once you had your drinks, Seungmin and Chaeryeong split off to go talk alone, leaving just you and Jisu. You two wandered back into the house, finding an empty patch of wall to lean against that was just far enough from the speaker you could hear each other talk.
Just as you were finishing the last sip of your drink, you finally saw him. He was just wearing a dark blue button up shirt and a pair of shorts, but just like everything else he wore, he managed to make it look like high fashion. He was with Beomgyu and Wooyoung, as expected, arriving fashionably late. And it was a good thing he did, since he managed to capture the attention of everyone at the party. 
You watched him with hopeful eyes as he walked through the room, waiting for him to look in your direction and come talk to you, but he never did. Next thing you knew, he was gone just as quickly as he arrived. You swore you could feel your eye twitch. 
“Y/N…” Jisu started, as though she could read your mind. 
“It’s fine.” You waved her off, tilting your cup as much as you could to get every last drop of the drink. “Can you make me another Jisucolada?”
“Jisulada.” She corrected. 
“Yeah, one of those.” You grumbled, and Jisu frowned. 
“How about we go do some dancing instead?” She suggested, pulling your hands into her own. “We’re here to have fun, right? Not to think about my stupid cousin.” 
You sighed. “I guess you’re right. And, they’re playing a really good song right now.” 
Jisu grinned, and started shaking your hands. “That’s the spirit! Come on, let’s dance!” Before you got the chance to change your mind, she dragged you out into the sea of people, and gave you no choice but to dance with her. 
As you jumped around to the beat of the music, you could feel the effects of her Jisulada starting to kick in. Your head was starting to feel fuzzy, and you were fighting the urge to giggle at every little thing going on around you. When you thought about Yeonjun, you wanted to giggle. When you thought about Chaeryeong and Seungmin and felt the need to giggle. When you thought of your mom, all alone at the house with a book and a bottle of wine to keep her company, since your stupid dad had to abandon you guys, you couldn’t fight it anymore and started to giggle. 
You weren’t sure what Jisu had thrown into the drink, but it was working wonders for you. 
A finger touched your shoulder and you spun around, prepared to punch someone in the face. You relaxed, though, when you were met with the familiar smile of Jake the waiter. 
“Oh my god, Jake! You gave me a heart attack!” You exclaimed, and once again started to laugh. 
“Sorry. Y/N, right?” He managed to ask over the loud music, and you nodded. “I didn’t know you were friends with Jisu.” 
“Yep! BFFs from childhood.” You told him, slowing down your jumping so you could properly talk to him. Jisu, however, kept dancing, seeming to completely ignore the conversation. 
Jake nodded in understanding. “You used to live here?” 
“No. My family used to come every summer.” You responded. “And then we stopped, because… Actually, I don’t know why we stopped. But my mom and I decided to come back.” You giggled again, and watched as he chuckled down at you. 
“Cool, cool. So you’re here all summer?” 
“‘Til August 27th!” You sang. 
“Well, from now on, if you come into the diner while I’m working, I’ll start giving you a discount.” 
You gasped. “Really? You’d do that?” You looked at him with wide eyes, and he nodded. “Good, because I love those burgers. Damn, now that I think about it, I could really go for a burger right now.” You realized, your hand falling to your stomach as your mind wandered off to the thought of stuffing a burger in your mouth. 
“Hey, tell you what, you stick around another hour, we can ditch this party early and go get one.” He nudged you, and you thought you were going to explode from excitement. 
“Oh my gosh, that would be so awesome. A post-party burger sounds amazing.” 
“Hi, Y/N.” A familiar voice greeted you from behind, and you felt the color drain from your face. You slowly turned to see the man you both most wanted to see and least wanted to see standing behind you, and he didn’t look too happy. You didn’t feel much like giggling anymore. 
Jake let out a nervous laugh. “Uh, I’ll talk to you later, Y/N.”
“No you won’t.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes, and Jake gave him one last glare before slipping into the crowd. You glanced to your side, hoping to find Jisu still dancing beside you, but she had disappeared as well, leaving you alone with Yeonjun. 
He wasted no time in grabbing ahold of your wrist, and dragging you out of the crowd of dancing people. “What the fuck are you doing?!” You shouted over the music, and although you were pissed he just forced you to leave, you weren’t exactly fighting him. He didn’t respond, though, just kept walking with his eyes narrowed and hand held tightly around your wrist. 
Once he got you outside, though, he led you down to the side of the house, and finally decided to talk. He dropped your arm, turning to face you with a burning expression. “What are you doing here, Y/N?” 
“Um, partying? The same as everyone else.” 
“No, I mean here. At fucking Jake’s party.” He spat. 
Your expression turned cold. “What? Am I not supposed to be? You’re also here, aren’t you?” You snapped at him. He pressed his lips together tightly. “You don’t get to fucking ignore me for a whole day then act like a big, jealous baby, Yeonjun.” 
“I wasn’t ignoring you.” He groaned in frustration, reaching up to run a hand through his silky hair. “It’s complicated, Y/N, you don’t get it.”
“Then make it uncomplicated!” You shouted into his face. “You told me you were serious about wanting to get to know me, and you weren’t just playing with me, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way.” 
He rolled his eyes at you, and you couldn’t help but scoff. “You’re the one flirting with another guy out in the open for everyone to see.” He pointed out, his finger following suit. 
“Oh my god, I was not flirting with him!” You explained in exasperation, leaning back against the side of the house. You couldn’t believe how ridiculous he was acting, but you were pretty sure the smell of alcohol wafting off of him had something to do with it. “Besides, even if I was, it doesn’t matter. Because we are not dating. We went on one date, and you didn’t text me back when you said you would, and you didn’t even kiss me--”
“Is that what you want? You want me to kiss you?” He raised both of his eyebrows at you, as if you were asking for something so stupid. 
“Yes!” You didn’t mean to sound so desperate, like you were begging for it, but you couldn’t help it. For days, all you had been able to think about was what it would feel like to have his lips on your own, to run your fingers through those locks of his, and to have your body pressed flush against his own. So, yeah, no matter how badly you wanted to hide it, you couldn’t deny just how desperate you were. 
He froze for a moment, then stalked over towards you. Your heart started to hammer against your chest in anticipation when one of his hands slid past your face to prop him up against the wall, caging you beneath him. The other cupped your cheek, and he leaned down so close that your noses bumped against each other. “Tell me again, Y/N. Tell me what you want.” You felt his breath fan against your lips, and even though you were supposed to be mad at him--you were supposed to be pissed--you could feel yourself crumbling. 
“I want you to kiss me.” You whispered, blinking up at him through your eyelashes. 
His eyes searched your own, his breath seemingly caught in the back of his throat. It looked like he was having some sort of internal battle with himself, on whether or not he should kiss you. God, if he left you hanging again, you were going to knee him right between his legs before he got the chance. “Fuck it.” He breathed out, then (finally) smashed his lips against your own. 
There was an urgency in the way he kissed you, his grip on your cheek tightening and his lips rough against yours, like he was going to starve to death if he didn’t get a taste of you. There was just as much desperation on your end, though, as one of your hands crawled up his shoulder and the other began to entangle itself in the hair that fell right at the back of his neck. 
Just as you had predicted, kissing him was electrifying. Every inch of your skin his fingers came into contact with felt like it was being lit ablaze. You were perfectly in sync with him, and your lips melded together as though they had been made for the other. You had kissed people before, but nothing had ever come close to this. 
He pushed you so you were pressed flush against the wall, and the hand that had been propping himself up before found a new home on your waist. You clung to him tightly, and if you pulled him any closer against yourself, you were sure your bodies would melt into one another. Still, you raised one of your legs and wrapped your leg around his hip, and you felt him grunt against your lips at the contact. 
After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away from the kiss, briefly pausing to look down at you. His lips were puffy, his eyes were heavy with lust, and he looked absolutely gorgeous. He leaned back down, only to attach his lips to your neck this time. Your breathing grew deeper as he peppered your skin with kisses, and an occasional nip with his teeth. 
“I’m sorry. For not texting you.” He breathed against your skin between kisses. 
You weren’t totally sure if you forgave him or not, yet, but your lips moved faster than your brain did. “It’s okay.” You replied breathlessly, and bit your lip to hold back any noises when his mouth found a particularly sensitive spot. 
He leaned up and away from your neck, so his face was in line with your own again. “Don’t talk to Jake anymore, okay?” He asked, and you immediately nodded. He smiled, and dove back in to connect your lips for one more kiss. “You’re mine.” He whispered against your mouth, and once again, you caught yourself nodding fervently. 
“You’re all mine.” 
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YOU STARTED SEEING YEONJUN MORE REGULARLY AFTER THE PARTY. In the deep hours of the night, he would appear outside your bedroom window, trying to throw pebbles at your window and missing every one. One night, he even attempted to crawl up the trellis lining the side of the house, but a piece broke off and he fell before he got the chance. You would usually end up sitting on the porch swing on the backside of your house, talking and… Kissing. 
You hated yourself for ever letting Jisu get into your head. Yeonjun had proved to you over and over again that he was interested in you for more than just hooking up, that he had genuine feelings for you. It made the realization that the summer would end in two months, and you would be going back to the city, sting. So, you decided not to think about it. Which was easy, because when you were with Yeonjun, he was just about all you could think about. 
“Did you tell your mom I broke the trellis?” He asked you a few nights after he’d tried to scale the side of the house, a grin playing on his perfect lips. 
You giggled, shaking your head. The two of you were sitting opposite of each other, out on the swing. “No. I told her I didn’t know anything about it. Must have been a wild animal.” You told him, and he laughed at that. 
“Okay, good. It’s bad enough that you witnessed that, I don’t need anybody else knowing about it.” He said, reaching up to rub the back of your neck. 
“Oh. Well, I definitely didn’t tell Jisu and Chaer about it, then.” 
He paled. “Y/N! Now Jisu’s gonna tell her mom and she’s gonna tell my mom! They’re all gonna bully the shit out of me!” He whined, leaning forward to lightly hit your knee. 
“Maybe you deserve it.” You shrugged, and broke into a smile when he looked at you with the saddest look he could muster up. “Aw, you poor baby. I’m joking, I didn’t tell them…” You leaned forward, putting your lips close to his ear. “That can stay between us.” 
When you started to pull away, he caught the nape of your neck in his hand, looking at you with one of his eyebrows cocked up. “You promise?” He asked, using his other hand to hold up a pinky. 
You were immediately flustered by the proximity. You could feel your face getting hot, and your heartbeat in your ears as your wide eyes darted down to look at his pinky. Slowly, you lifted up your own, looping it together with his. “I promise.” The words came out barely above a whisper, and a thick silence filled the air.
For a second, you thought he was going to kiss you, as he leaned forward close enough to brush his nose against yours. But, then he pulled away, a smirk finding its way onto his lips as he observed your reaction.  
“You’re cute.” He said, unlacing his pinky from your own so he could poke the tip of your nose. He let go of you, leaning back against the arms of the bench to laugh at you. 
You frowned, then smacked his chest. “Shut up! I hate you so much!” Now you were the one whining, all the while he kept giggling at your reaction. 
“Come on, we all know that’s not true.” He said matter-of-factly, sitting back up so his face was closer to you again. 
“It is. I seriously hate you, Choi Yeonjun.” You replied, folding your arms across your chest. 
He tilted his head, and gently laced his hand through one of yours. He pulled it away from your chest, then rose it up to his lips. “Do you hate me when I do this?” He asked, then placed a kiss against your knuckles. 
You turned your head away. “Yes.” You said defiantly. 
You could feel the swing shift as he scooted closer to you, and this time he kissed your cheek. “Do you hate me when I do this?” 
You nodded, keeping your head turned away from him. “Yep.” 
His breath was hot against your jaw when he pressed his lips there next, asking the question again. Only this time, you were starting to get so hot and bothered, you barely heard him ask. You just nodded quickly, swallowing hard. 
Finally, two of his fingers pressed against the other side of your jaw, and gently turned you to look at him. “What about…” He leaned forward, touching his nose against your own just like he had done a minute earlier. “When I do…” His breath fanned against your lips, and you couldn’t take it anymore. “Thi-”
You cut him off by taking charge, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. Honestly, from the minute you first heard him trying to throw pebbles at your window, you had been dying to kiss him. Really, kissing Yeonjun was one of the only things on your mind since Jake’s party. The feeling of lips on yours like a drug, and you were past the point of calling yourself addicted. 
He must have been wanting it just as bad as you, as he wasted no time slipping his hands onto your waist and pulling you onto his lap. Your hands rested on his shoulders, steadying yourself as the swing started to gently sway from all the movement. His fingers sliding under your t-shirt and finding home on the skin of your waist feel like tiny little wildfires lighting every inch they brush over ablaze. 
You felt like you were going crazy, like you were some kind of feral animal that found its next meal. All you could think about was how you wanted—no, needed—more of him. It was like your body had gone into autopilot, as your fingers moved from his shoulders down to the hem of his shirt, which you found yourself toying with. 
He paused for a minute, pulling back from the kiss to look at you. His lips were swollen from your kisses, and his dark hair was disheveled, his bangs falling in the way of his eyes. Yeonjun always looked good, that wasn’t up for debate. But, it was nothing compared to how he looked right now. Right now, the only word that came to mind to describe him was perfect. 
He dove back into your lips, and you were starting to have a difficult time keeping up with him. If you had to guess, Yeonjun was a lot more experienced than you. Sure, you’d had a few make out sessions in your life, but never enough to consider yourself an expert, and you’d never done anything further than that. His mouth moved with such expertise, his tongue prodding against your lips to let you in, you were starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. 
When his hand slipped up under your shirt, that’s when you knew you were in trouble. As much as you were enjoying it, you forced yourself to pull away from him. He quickly retracted his hand, gazing up at you with furrowed brows. 
“Sorry, I—, I think we should slow down for just a minute.” You breathed out, letting a nervous laugh slip past your swollen lips. 
He nodded. “Yeah, okay. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything—“
“‘—No! That’s not it!” You cut him off, tightening your grip on his shoulders. “It’s just… I’m not very… Experienced in this stuff…” I’m scared, you thought, but you didn’t dare tell him that out loud. 
“I understand, don’t worry about it.” He leaned forward and gave you a gentle peck that made your heart swell. “So… Are you…?”
Your face grew hot. You nodded in response, too embarrassed to say the words yes, I’m a virgin out loud. You were about to graduate college in the next year, and you were still a virgin. Everyone always told you it was nothing to be ashamed of, but you still couldn’t help being a bit embarrassed when the subject came up. 
“Oh, okay. Well, don’t be afraid to tell me if you don’t want to do something. I want you to be comfortable no matter what, okay?” He stared you dead in the eyes, like he was looking for any sign of hesitation. 
You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you nodded in understanding. “Okay.” You said quietly, and he smiled at your answer. You couldn’t believe how sweet he was being about the whole thing. Surely he had to have some sort of flaw, right?
With that, he leaned in to kiss you just one more time, only this time it was a lot more gentle and intimate than your previous kisses. It was the kind of kiss that gave you butterflies, the kind of kiss that made you realize you might be falling in love with him. 
Oh, god. You were falling in love with Choi Yeonjun.
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ONE THING ABOUT JISU WAS SHE LOVED PLANNING PARTIES. So, when her friend Keena’s twentieth birthday rolled around, she practically leapt at the opportunity to plan something. You hardly knew Keena, you’d only met her a few times through Jisu, but your friend insisted you come to the party anyway. According to her, it was going to be a huge party, and everyone was going to be there anyway, so it wasn’t going to be weird! 
It had been about a week since your revelation. You were falling in love with Yeonjun, and you were falling in love fast. The realization terrified you. 
The only time you’d seen love had been with your parents, until you found out they weren’t as in love as you previously thought, since your dad had been hooking up with your housekeeper. He might not have loved your mother anymore, but you knew she still loved him. You saw it in the way she was still fighting to get over him, even now. 
The thought of falling in love, and having to experience the same heartbreak you watched your mom go through for the last few months made you feel sick. So, out of fear, you had been sort of avoiding Yeonjun for the last week. Which was kind of hypocritical of you, considering you had gotten angry at him for doing that to you before. But, at least you had a good reason, right? 
Tonight, though, at Keena’s party, it was more than likely he would be there. Part of you was excited to see him, and had been missing him, while the other part was scared of confrontation, and having to explain to him why you had been avoiding him. 
“Y/N, could you pass me that bag of Doritos?” Jisu’s sweet voice yanked you out of your sea of thoughts, reminding you that you were supposed to be helping her set up for the party, not thinking about Yeonjun. 
“Did you get enough chips?” Chaeryeong asked incredulously as Jisu popped open the bag and began to pour them into a plastic bowl.
Jisu rolled her eyes. “This house is going to be filled with a bunch of guys that are just finishing puberty. Trust me, in my experience planning parties, they eat a lot.” 
Keena, who was wearing a ‘Birthday Girl’ tiara on top of her head, let out a small giggle. “True. Umm, speaking of guys…” She paused for a minute, looking over at Jisu nervously. “Do you know if Yeonjun is coming tonight?” 
Everyone froze. Including you, who nearly choked on your own spit. 
“Oh. Uhh, no, I’m not really sure…” Jisu answered, then glanced over at you. “Y/N might know, though.” 
Keena furrowed her eyebrows. “What? Why might Y/N know?” She asked slowly, her intense gaze flickering between you and Jisu. Then, you watched as her eyes widened, and the answer seemed to dawn on her. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t know you and Yeonjun were--”
“It’s fine.” You quickly waved her off. “You know what? I think I’m gonna go check on the drinks really quick. Just make sure everything is in its place.” You forced the best smile you could muster up, and started to leave. 
“Oh, I’ll come with you! I think I left my bracelet out there earlier.” Chaeryeong raced after you, and you had a feeling she was as desperate as you were to escape the awkward tension that had suddenly filled the air. 
The two of you slipped out the door and into the backyard, where all the different soda and alcoholic drinks Jisu had gotten were being stored. With a long sigh, you bent down and opened up one of the coolers. You half considered dipping your head into the ice in an attempt to calm yourself down, but then you would ruin the makeup you had spent so much time on. 
Chaeryeong watched you awkwardly, toying with a ring on her finger. “They made out once. Last summer. At a bonfire.” She suddenly spoke up. 
You looked back at her over your shoulder. “What?” 
“Keena and Yeonjun. I think she’s had a crush on him since forever, and they made out last summer. I think that’s why she was asking.” She explained. 
“He kissed her?” You asked in disbelief. “How many girls that are coming tonight has he made out with?” 
She shrugged. “Like, 6. There are a few guys, too, I think.” 
You groaned, and the idea of sticking your head in the cooler was sounding more and more like a good idea. 
“But, you really shouldn’t worry!” Chaeryeong was quick to reassure you, kneeling down next to you. “He always ended up ghosting them after. I’ve seen Yeonjun kiss a lot of people, but I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you!” She smiled, and rubbed your back reassuringly. 
You looked over at her. “Really?” 
She nodded. “Really. I know it sounds so cliche, but he’s… Different, around you. I really think you’re more than just a quick hookup to him.” 
She was right. It was so cliche. And she was probably just saying it to make you feel better, but it still made your heart swell up. You couldn’t help smiling back at her, leaning into her touch. 
“Thanks, Chaer.” It was hard to remember that you would be leaving her at the end of the summer, and probably rarely talk to her again after that. Your old friends back at home would never have been able to cheer you up the way she did. In fact, you could hear Haeun’s voice now, telling you he’s just a manwhore, Y/N! There’s no way he’s into you! 
You wished you could stay there forever. 
The door flew open, and your little hug was broken as the two of you jumped to turn around and look. There was Jisu, standing with her hands on her hips. “Could you at least close the cooler? You’re going to melt all of the ice!” She snapped at the two of you. “And come back in here! We need to get the beer pong table set up before people start arriving!” 
You and Chaeryeong shared a brief amused look. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re coming.” She rolled her eyes, standing up. 
Initially, you had gone out there to escape from the insecurity starting to inflate inside of you, but thanks to Chaeryeong’s words, you were starting to feel a whole lot more secure in your relationship with Yeonjun. Who cared if he kissed Keena a year ago, and she was still into him?
Yeonjun had his eyes on you. Not Keena. And if what Chaeryeong had said was true, that he was different towards you… Maybe there was a small chance he was falling for you, too. 
There was nothing to worry about…
Right?
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KEENA’S PARTY WAS EVEN BIGGER THAN YOU’D ANTICIPATED. It seemed like there were as many people as were at Jake’s party, if not more. You doubted everyone there knew Keena, and were intending to celebrate her birthday. Most of them were probably just looking for a good time. 
You had been hoping to run into Yeonjun soon. You wanted to apologize, and explain why you had been so distant the past week. After you had gotten so angry at him for doing the same thing to you, an explanation was what he deserved, right? 
So far, though, you had yet to see him anywhere. You wondered if maybe he had decided not to show up after all. If you’d learned one thing about Yeonjun, though, it was that he was not one to miss a party. Especially not a rager like this one. So, you knew he was somewhere in the house, it was just a question of where. 
You had just finished combing through the kitchen unsuccessfully when you wandered over towards the beer pong table, releasing a frustrated sigh. You were prepared to give up and just text him and ask where he was, but that’s when you saw him. 
No, not Yeonjun. It was Beomgyu, playing a game of beer pong with some random people you didn’t know. Relief washed over you as you trudged over to him, praying that your search was nearing its end. 
“Beomgyu!” You called out, then realized he had just been preparing to toss his ball, and your shout had totally thrown him off. He frowned as the ball bounced off the edge of a cup, and the perfect throw he’d been aiming for was ruined forever.
With a defeated sigh, he finally looked in your direction. “Y/N? You wanna play, or something?” He asked, gesturing to the cups. 
“No, I’m not very good. Uh, no, I was just going to ask if you knew where Yeonjun was?” You smiled hopefully at him. 
He tapped a finger to his lips, as though he was deep in thought. “Hmm, no. Wait! Yes, last time I saw him he was out on the back porch. Actually, that might have been Wooyoung… No-no, it was definitely Yeonjun. Yeah, he’s out on the back porch.”
You cocked an eyebrow. “You sure?” Clearly, he had been playing too much beer pong, and was already drunk.
“Yeah, one hundred percent, lady. Oh, if you see him, will you ask where he put my Air Force Ones? I know he stole them, I just don’t know where he’s hiding them.”
You blinked, then nodded slowly. Yeah, you weren’t really sure just how reliable Beomgyu was, but it was the closest thing you had to a lead at that point. “Sure. I’ll ask.”
With that, you started walking away, ready to wrap up the conversation, but before you got the chance, Beomgyu caught your wrist. He tugged you back, a bit closer to him, then leaned in close so you could feel his breath on your ear. 
“Be careful around him, Y/N.”
You felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up. “What?” You whispered. 
He smiled. “I said have fun with him, Y/N! Bye!” He let go of your wrist, and returned to the game, leaving you standing there dumbfounded. 
Be careful around him. He really said that, didn’t he? You hadn’t imagined it? He had recovered from it so nonchalantly, and returned to his game without any hesitation, you wondered if maybe you were going crazy and hallucinated it. During your time exploring the party, you’d had a few drinks, so maybe you were just a little intoxicated. 
For now, you decided to just ignore it. Instead, you started to make your way up through the house, and in the direction of the back porch. You were glad you did decide to have a few drinks, otherwise your nerves might have been on fire. Granted, you weren’t completely relaxed, but your hands weren’t shaking, so that was a good sign. 
You pushed through the crowd of people until you finally found yourself out on the back porch where you had been hiding out with Chaeryeong earlier in the day. 
I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you!
Be careful around him, Y/N.
You shook your head, trying to shake the voices of your friends loose from your mind. 
Finally, you spotted him. He was leaning up against the railing, appearing to be deep in conversation with someone, but you couldn’t see who. Then, the person blocking your view moved out of the way, and your heart sank. Suddenly, you wished you hadn’t seen him. 
He was talking to Keena, who had her hand resting on his arm, and was leaning in close to laugh about something he said. And the worst part was, he wasn’t trying to get her to move, or anything like that. No, instead he leaned down as well, so their faces were practically inches away from each other as their loud laughter drifted across the patio to you. 
You were trying really, really hard not to think the worst, but you couldn’t help it. She was basically all over him, and he wasn’t doing anything about it. 
But what did you expect? It wasn’t like he was your boyfriend or anything. 
You made the mistake of standing and staring for too long, though. Because he must have felt your gaze burning into the side of his face, and glanced in your direction. Except the glance turned into a wide-eyed stare when he realized it was you watching them. 
He started to say something to Keena, peeling her hands off of him, but you were out of there before you saw what happened next. You spun around on your heel and stormed back into the house, feeling tears brim in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know why you were crying. You were the one who had stopped talking to him for the last week. You had come clean and told him you were a virgin. It was no wonder he had gotten bored of you and moved onto someone else.
You turned down a hallway, and threw open the first door to a bedroom you found. There was a couple making out on the bed, who jumped when you flung the door open, then glared at you. “Excuse you, can’t you see we’re in the middle of something?” One of the girls asked. 
“Go do it somewhere else!” You snapped at her, and she scoffed at your exclamation. 
“Listen, girl, we were here first--”
“Give us the room!” You didn’t even notice him come up behind you. With an annoyed groan, you buried your face in your palms. This room was supposed to be your escape from him, and now he was ruining it. You had half a mind to elbow him in the stomach. 
The girls rolled their eyes, but were apparently not in the mood to argue--not with Yeonjun, at least. You were both quiet as they walked past, and you tried to follow them out of the room, but of course he stopped you. He tugged you back into the room, and shut the door before you could run back out. 
“Y/N, look, it wasn’t what it looked like--”
“Of course it wasn’t! It never is, is it?” You were trying not to be angry at him, but he was making it so difficult! 
He sighed as you went to sit on the bed. “Look, I don’t even know why you’re that upset. You haven’t talked to me all week, so I thought you were… Done with this, I don’t know.” 
You shook your head, pressing your elbows into your knees as you cradled your cheeks with your palms. “No, it’s not that. I’m just…” Your voice trailed off, and suddenly it became hard to talk. His presence looming in the doorway wasn’t exactly helping, either. 
When he finally left his spot to come sit on the bed next to you, you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. “What is it, Y/N? I need you to talk to me.” He said softly. 
You looked over at him, to see his dark eyes gazing down on you. He should be annoyed with you, and your childish behavior. But he’s not. Instead, his eyes are so full of fondness, you can’t help but think back to what Chaeryeong told you.
I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you!
You suppose it’s time you did what you had intended to do when you first went onto the porch--tell him the truth.
“That’s not why I was ignoring you… I was ignoring you because--and this probably sounds really silly and stupid, but--I think I was scared.” The last word slipped through your lips, barely above a whisper. 
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Scared? Scared of what?” He asked you. 
“I just… I really like you, Yeonjun. Like, really like you. And I was scared of how fast I was starting to like you.” You knew it was stupid before, but now that you had actually said it, it sounded really stupid. 
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, didn’t react, but then he slowly started to smile. “You really like me?” He asked. 
You rolled your eyes, and punched his shoulder. “Shut up! I’m serious!” 
He winced, reaching up to rub where you had hit him. “Okay, okay, sorry. I guess I’m just a little confused why that would be scary. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Because I really like you, too.”
There was only one way you could really make him understand. You sucked in a shaky breath, and braced yourself. “Can I… Tell you something?”
He nodded. “Yeah, of course. Tell me anything.” 
“This summer… The reason me and my mom came down, just the two of us… Earlier this year, my mom came home to find my dad hooking up with our housekeeper.” You paused, looking over at him for a reaction. “I thought he loved my mom, but I guess he didn’t--or at least not enough. And I saw how badly that hurt her, I had to be there to help pick up the pieces of her broken heart. So, I guess I was really just scared, that I could see myself falling in love with you, and that means you have the power to break my heart, just like my dad did to my mom.”
The room was silent. Yeonjun was staring down at you, his eyes wide, and you thought they were starting to look a bit glassy. His lips were slightly parted, like he was getting ready to say something, but nothing came out. You weren’t sure you had ever seen Yeonjun at a loss for words before. Quiet Yeonjun was a lot scarier than talkative Yeonjun. 
“See, I knew it was stupid.” You heaved a defeated sigh, and stood up to leave, but for the second time that night, Yeonjun grabbed ahold of your wrist. 
“It’s not stupid.” He reassured you quickly. You looked down at him, to see him gazing up at you with a pleading expression, then decided to sit back next to him. “I’m sorry your dad did that, Y/N. Your mom didn’t deserve that--you didn’t deserve that. But I promise, I won’t ever hurt you the way he did. You have nothing to be afraid of.” 
You could feel your eyes growing wet again. “Really?” You breathed out. “You promise?” 
He nodded fervently. “I promise.” 
Then, the two of you leaned in at the same time, connecting your lips in a passionate kiss. Your heart was hammering against your chest, and you were overwhelmed by how strong your feelings for him were growing. It was still a scary feeling, but it was a little less scary now that he made that promise to you. 
The kiss didn’t last for long, though, as you pulled away and instead buried your face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry for not talking to you.” 
He laughed softly, resting one of his hands on the back of your head. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for letting Keena flirt with me. I should have shut that down a long time ago.” 
You smiled. “Yeah, you should have. But… It’s her birthday. You can tell her later.” 
“Yeah. Later.” He leaned back, and you looked up so you were at eye level with him again. He pressed his lips against yours again, and snuck a hand around your waist. As you kissed him, he pulled you up so you were straddling his lap. “Can we stay here all night?” He whispered against your lips. 
You giggled, shaking your head as you kissed him again. “No. I need to go check in with Jisu and see if she needs anything.” You told him, and he whined. 
“Jisu is fine, what about what I need?” 
You rolled your eyes. “You’re like a baby. We can make out later, let me just go--” 
Suddenly he fell back onto the bed, taking you down with him. He rolled over so he was hovering over you, looking down at you with a playful grin. “Now you’re trapped, so I guess you’re stuck here with me.” 
“Oh yeah?” You laughed, and reached up to wrap your arms around the back of his neck. 
“Yeah.” He breathed out, and leaned down to once again capture your lips in a heated kiss. This time, you didn’t try to protest. Jisu could wait. You had gone a whole week without this, and now that you’d gotten another taste of him, you were reminded of how you just couldn’t get enough of him. 
Thankfully, the girls who you had kicked out never came back, and nobody else barged in to interrupt you. You had no idea whose room the two of you were in, but for that night, it belonged to you.
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WHEN YOU WERE A KID, YOU ALWAYS LOOKED FORWARD TO the annual fair that took place out on the boardwalks. There were rides, games, snacks, and best of all, they would end the night with a sky full of fireworks. Your parents would always buy you some cotton candy, pay off the people running the games to help you win some stuffed prize, then take you up on the ferris wheel to watch the fireworks. It was perfect. 
You couldn’t believe it when you found out the tradition was still going strong. As soon as you found out it was happening towards the end of July, you knew you had to be there. And more importantly, you knew you wanted to go with Yeonjun. 
Unfortunately for you, though, Beomgyu and Wooyoung also wanted to go with Yeonjun. You decided to make it a group outing, inviting Jisu and Chaeryeong to tag along as well. It wasn’t ideal, but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t looking forward to it a little bit. Besides, you could always steal Yeonjun away later, right?
“I think we should go through the haunted house first.” Beomgyu suggested as the six of you wandered around the boardwalks. 
Due to you now being in the last couple of weeks of July, it seemed like the heat of the summer was at an all time high. Even in the shade, in a pair of shorts and a tank top, you were still melting in the heat. The humidity radiating off of the ocean wasn’t helping much, either. 
“No! You know those things scare me!” Yeonjun exclaimed, jabbing a finger in Beomgyu’s direction. 
You grinned. “Aww, don’t worry Jjunie, I can protect you from the scary ghosts.” You cooed at him, hugging his arm close to you. 
Beomgyu and Wooyoung exchanged a look as Yeonjun began to giggle at your antics. For some reason, it reminded you of what Beomgyu had told you the night of Keena’s party. 
Be careful around him, Y/N.
Jisu cleared her throat. “Stop being gross. I think Beomgyu’s right, let’s go to the haunted house.”
Yeonjun frowned, but you looped your fingers together with his in an attempt to soothe him. He smiled down at you, and you assumed it was working. 
“Careful, Y/N, he’ll break your hand off.” Wooyoung commented as the six of you started heading towards the haunted house. “One time, we went on a group date to see a scary movie, and I swear he broke the girl’s fingers.”
You tensed up at the mention of another girl. Of course, you knew Yeonjun had dated other people before you, and after your conversation at the party, you knew you had nothing to be jealous of. Still, the comment stung a bit. 
“Oh my god, remember when we played with that VR set last summer, and Yeonjun started crying while playing Five Nights at Freddy’s VR?” Chaeryeong started to laugh loudly, and Yeonjun glared at her. 
“Shut up! Jisu started crying too, but nobody brings that up!” He snapped defensively, and you couldn’t help laughing. 
Jisu shrugged. “That’s because you’re a man. You’re supposed to be strong and macho, or whatever. Girls are allowed to cry.”
“Isn’t that a little anti-feminist of you?” Beomgyu asked with furrowed eyebrows. 
“So what if it is? Girls are allowed to be anti-feminist.” She teased, and Beomgyu rolled his eyes. 
“In my Women’s Studies class, they taught us that was a bad mindset.” Wooyoung said. 
“Why did you take a Women’s Studies class?” You laughed in disbelief. 
He glanced away. “…Because the TA was hot.”
Finally, you all made it to the haunted house. It looked exactly the same as it had when you were a little girl, too afraid to dare go inside of it. Your dad had tried to convince you to go in with him multiple times, but you always told him no! You were still a little bit scared, but after the way they had just clowned Yeonjun, you absolutely were not going to let anyone know that. 
Instead, you just clung on tightly to Yeonjun, assuring him you were just doing it to make him feel better. But when the two of you rounded a corner to be jump scared by someone dressed as a zombie, and you screamed as you buried your face into your chest, it was obvious you were just as scared as him. 
“You’re kinda cute when you’re scared. Maybe we should go through haunted houses more often.” Yeonjun commented once you were out of earshot of the actor. 
“Nope. You better get a good look and savor scared Y/N now, because I’m never doing this shit again.” You said sweetly, tilting your chin to look up at him. You were still nestled against his chest as the two of you walked, clinging onto one another for safety. 
“Oh trust me, I am looking.” He flashed that stupid, flirty grin that always gave you butterflies, then started to lean down. 
There was a loud gagging sound. “God, is this why you two are so far behind? It’s not enough to make out everywhere else, you have to do it here, too?” Wooyoung asked incredulously. 
You pushed yourself away from his chest. “Nope! I was just wiping away his tears!” 
Yeonjun gasped. “What?! Don’t lie! She was scared, too!” He shouted after you as you jogged to catch up with the others. 
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BY THE TIME THE SUN WAS STARTING TO SET, and fireworks were just a short while away, you were exhausted. You were pretty sure the heat was slowly killing you, and you had spent several hours playing stupid carnival games because Wooyoung insisted on beating each one. Which was how he ended up with arms full of plushies that he started giving out to random children. 
Yeonjun won you a fox plushie at the ring toss after you informed him that it reminded you of him. He said it was so you would always be reminded of him, which reminded you that in about a month, you’d be going back to the city, and you didn’t know if you’d ever see him again. 
But, today wasn’t the day to be thinking about that. You wanted to focus on the fact that you were there with him now, and ignore that the future was creeping in closer and closer. Stressing about it wasn’t going to make things any easier for when the time came, so what was the point? 
The two of you were once again lagging behind your other friends as you walked around, relishing in the cool air that was starting to set in as the sun prepared to dip below the horizon. In one hand, you held the fox plushie close to your chest, and in the other, you held Yeonjun’s hand tightly. 
“Ugh, I’m so tired. I think my feet are going to fall off.” You groaned to him, leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder. 
He gently shook with soft laughter. “Yeah, I know. When I was a kid, I could run around here for hours, but now I just get worn out so quickly.” He said with a sigh. “I had an idea, though. I know you wanted to go watch the fireworks from the ferris wheel, but I think I might know a better place.”
“Oh yeah?” You looked up at him curiously. 
He nodded. “Yeah. It’ll be a good view, and there will be way less people. Nice and secluded.” 
“Ooh, I like the sound of that.” You giggled. Of course, you’d been hoping to watch the fireworks the way you used to, but more than that you were dying to get some alone time with Yeonjun. Your friends were being third, fourth, fifth and sixth wheels, and ruining everything. 
You blamed stupid Choi Beomgyu and Jung Wooyoung. 
“We just have to sneak away from our friends first…” His voice trailed off as he glanced around, as though he was looking for a way to escape. 
You hummed in thought. “Hmm… Oh! I have an idea!” 
You tugged him by his hand in the direction of your friends, picking up the pace to switch into a jog. He didn’t question you, he just jogged behind you, still holding tightly onto your hand, like he was afraid of you slipping out of his grasp. 
Once she noticed you approaching her from behind, Chaeryeong let out a low groan. “If you guys are going to keep being gross, you should go do it somewhere else. You’re going to ruin some perfectly good fireworks!” She whined. 
You smiled over at Yeonjun, realizing this was going to be a lot easier than you thought. “So… You wouldn’t mind if we snuck away and left you guys to watch them together?” You inquired slowly. 
“What?! No! You can’t steal him away from us! Let’s split up, boys and girls!” Wooyoung grabbed Yeonjun’s other hand, trying to tug him away from you. 
“Did they teach you to do that in your Women’s Studies class?” Jisu raised an eyebrow. 
Wooyoung hissed at her. 
“Ew, I’m not going with you after you did that, freak!” Yeonjun snapped his hand out of his grip. “I’m actually feeling a little sick after The Zipper, so I just want to turn in early.” 
It was so obviously a lie, a lot worse than the one you had been planning to use, but it looked like your friends had given up hope. “Fine… Make sure you take care of him, Y/N.” Beomgyu released a sigh of defeat. 
“If you throw up on her, I’ll kill you.” Jisu threatened. Chaeryeong nodded in solidarity. 
“I’m not going to throw up on her!”
“He might! Because he’s so very sick. Come on, Jun!” You waved to your friends as you started to pull him away, smiling widely at them. “I’ll text you guys later!” 
“Don’t forget to use protection!” Wooyoung shouted once you guys were practically out of earshot. 
Your face grew hot, and you were suddenly overwhelmed with mortification. Did he want everyone at the fair to think you two were sneaking off to have sex? You hoped Jisu punched him for that. She and Chaeryeong were the only people other than Yeonjun that you had told about your… Predicament. At least you knew that those two knew you weren’t running away to hook up. You just hoped nobody else you knew heard him. 
“Ignore him. He’s a fucking idiot.” Yeonjun glared over his shoulder, and you watched as he held up a middle finger towards Wooyoung. 
“Yeah, I’ll say.” You muttered, looking down to find interest in your sandals. 
He let go of your hand, and you were about to complain but he instead wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to him. “C’mon. Let me show you the super special spot I had in mind.” 
The entire walk to his “super special spot”, he kept a firm grip on you, keeping you close to him. You knew that Yeonjun was a touchy guy, you discovered that pretty early on. Tonight, though, he seemed clingier than usual. You didn’t really mind, in fact you liked staying close to him. There was just something about being so close to him that made you feel safe, and secure. Like nothing bad would happen as long as you were with him. 
His super special spot, as it turned out, was your house. 
You gave him a deadpan look. 
“No, I know what you’re thinking! But, look, you have a perfect view of where the fireworks go off! Especially if we climb out of your window onto your roof!” He beamed down at you proudly. 
“Absolutely not. My mom might actually wring our necks and kill us if she finds out we’re climbing up there.” You started to laugh, shaking your head at the idea. 
“But you said your mom is out with friends tonight, right? She’ll never even know we were up there.” 
You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down as you mulled the idea over. He was right, you did tell him about how your mom was out drinking with some of her old friends. And if she did come home and see you up there, you might be able to convince her that she was so drunk that she imagined it, or something like that. “Okay, fine! But if I fall down and break my neck, you’re paying my medical bills.” 
“Nope! If you go down, I go down, too!” He sang, hot on your tail like a lost puppy as you wandered up your porch stairs. 
You laughed softly as you picked through your keyring to find the right one. “I’m not sure if that’s really stupid, or really romantic.” 
Suddenly, you felt his arms wrap around your waist from behind, and his breath against your neck, causing goosebumps to spread across your skin. “Why not both?” He asked, then leaned forward to press a kiss against your cheek. 
As you finally got the door open, you giggled, and tried to push him off of you. “Come on, this way!” You raced up the stairs, and just as you had hoped, he began to chase after you. He was barely inches behind you, filling you up with adrenaline as you screamed and turned down the hallway in the direction of your bedroom.
Unfortunately, your door was closed, which gave him plenty of time to catch up to you as your nerves made it difficult to wring the doorknob open. The second the door opened up, he caught you, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the ground. The air was filled with giggles and screams as he carried you over to your bed. 
“Yeonjun, stop--!” You barely managed to get out between your laughter, and you let out a loud yelp when he dumped you onto the cushy mattress, then crawled on top of you. 
You were out of breath as you laid against your bed, chest heaving up and down as you tried to cool your giggles. He was hovering over you, and you recalled the last time he had caged you in back at Keena’s party. As the two of you were catching your breath, though, something in the air felt different. His dark eyes were flickering between yours, like he was searching for something inside of them. 
You were suddenly overcome with a warm feeling, and before you got the chance to stop yourself and ask if this was a good idea, you whispered to him. “I think I’m in love with you.” 
For some reason, you thought you would regret telling him that. You thought it would ruin things between the two of you, and make him regret ever going out with you. But, you weren’t regretting it. You had been thinking it for over a week now, and finally, you were able to get it off of your chest. And even if he didn’t feel the same, even if he thought you were rushing into things too fast, you were just glad that you had finally worked up the nerve to tell him. Because it was true, and he deserved to know. 
He stared down at you, blinking. “You are?” He asked, barely loud enough for you to hear in the silent room. 
You nodded, taking a good look at his face. His long, pretty eyelashes, his pointed nose, his perfectly shaped lips… As you were taking him in--all of him--there was absolutely no doubt in your mind. 
“Yeah. I’m in love with you.”
The second the last word left your mouth, Yeonjun wasted no time diving down to connect his lips with yours. By that point, you had kissed him more times than you could count, but you didn’t care about any of those other times, because nothing compared to this one. 
He didn’t need to say it back. You could feel it in the way he gently pushed your stray strands of hair out of your face, and in the way he cupped your cheek as he kissed you, like you were the most precious object in the whole world to him. When he pulled away from your lips to press kisses all over your face--your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your chin--you knew that he loved you too. 
A bright light flooded into your room through the window, followed by a loud boom. The two of you looked to see the fireworks you had been dying to see finally going off, and he was right. Your bedroom had a perfect view. 
He looked back down at you, his lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “Do you--still wanna--watch?” He asked between breaths. 
A wave of confidence rushed over you, and you shook your head. With a shaky breath, you lifted one of your legs, hooking it around his lower back to pull him close to you. “Yeonjun…I’m ready for you.” 
The room glowed red. “Are you--Are you sure?” He whispered, furrowing his brows as he examined your face. 
Before now, you’d never really felt the desire to be with someone intimately like that. Nobody had ever made your heart race the way he did, and if you were going to give a piece of yourself away to anyone, you wanted it to be him. The first boy you had ever really, truly loved. In an attempt to show him just how serious you were, you reached down, grabbing the edge of your shirt and slowly pulling it up over your head so you were left only with your bra. 
His eyes widened, then he leaned down to kiss you again. Now, his kisses were getting rougher, more aggressive, like you had woken something up inside of him. His hand roamed down to the side of your thigh, as his lips moved to attach themselves to your neck. “I need you to tell me. Tell me you’re sure about this.” He mumbled against your skin in between kisses.
You grabbed a hold of the sides of his face, pulling him away and forcing him to look at you. You pressed one more kiss against his lips, then said the magic words. 
“I’ve never been more sure about anything.” 
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YOU HAD NEVER BEEN A BIG FAN OF AUGUST. It was the last month of summer, and usually the month that school started back up again. It was like the Sunday of the year--sure, it was still a part of your break, but it was also when the dread of returning to stupid school set in. You didn’t like it when you were a kid, and you didn’t like it now. 
Well, before this year you didn’t like it. Now, you were starting to like it. And that’s because you and Yeonjun officially became a couple on the first day of August. You had probably spent way too much time with him in the last week, but you didn’t care. You were in the honeymoon phase, where you just wanted to be beside him constantly. 
Your days were spent wandering around town, whether it be eating lunch together at different restaurants, or going for walks along the beach, and splashing each other with the ocean water as you swam. And your nights were spent twisted in bedsheets, and filled with pillow talk that stretched into the early hours of the mornings. 
It’s safe to say you were absolutely head over heels for Choi Yeonjun. If he was a bright, blazing flame, then you were like a moth, unable to put up a fight as you found yourself drawn to him. 
The problem with the honeymoon phase, though, is that it will always come to an end. 
On Saturday, you were rudely awakened by the sun rising and flooding Yeonjun’s room with light. You groaned, trying to roll away from the light, but his arm was wrapped firmly around your waist, and there was no chance you were going anywhere. 
“Yeonjun?” You called out weakly, and draped one of your arms over your eyes in an attempt to block out the light. 
He hummed against your neck. 
“Jun, wake up. I need to close the curtain.” You whined, trying to shake yourself out of his grip. 
“No… Stay here.” He grumbled, and buried his face deeper into your neck. You giggled softly, but were still annoyed nonetheless.
“Come on, it’s hurting my eyes.” 
“I’ll fix it.” He lazily reached down to grab the edge of your waist, then pulled you to help turn you to face him. 
Finally, you were able to hide against his bare chest from the sunlight. “Okay, this is lots better.” You mumbled, and scooted closer so you could get nestled against him. It wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, but it definitely beat having the sun in your eyes. 
“Let’s just sleep forever.” Yeonjun muttered groggily against your hair, tightening his grip on your waist to pull you closer to him. Honestly, it wasn’t sounding like the worst idea in the world. You would be perfectly content spending the rest of the day hiding in his room, especially since you’d have to deal with the dirty looks of his friends as you tried to sneak out. 
You could slowly feel yourself drifting back off into sleep when the door to the room flung open. Yeonjun was quick to sit up and see who it was, while you weren’t so quick to react. You were starting to grow angry from all the things preventing you from going back to sleep. 
“Um, Yeonjun… You need to get her out of here.” You could hear Beomgyu saying, which piqued your interest. You sat up, holding the comforter close to your chest to cover yourself. 
“Excuse me?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at his long haired friend. 
Beomgyu looked… Scared, as his eyes darted between you and Yeonjun. 
“What? What do you mean?” Yeonjun was rubbing his eyes to try and wake himself up. 
“It’s…” Beomgyu’s voice trailed off, glancing over at you again, like he was too afraid to say the answer in front of you. “Karina.” 
You felt Yeonjun tense up next to you. If he wasn’t awake before, he definitely was now, as he stared at Beomgyu with eyes as wide as saucers. He seemed to understand what his friend was talking about the second the name left his lips, but you were still completely in the dark about what was going on. And you hated being the only one left out of the loop. Which is why you asked the question, even though you should have known better. 
“Who’s Karina?” 
Stupid. Stupid, you were so stupid! Immediately after you asked it, you figured out the answer to your own question. And the looks on both Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s faces as they looked over at you--the looks of pity and guilt--confirmed it for you. 
Be careful around him, Y/N. 
“Oh.” 
You felt frozen in place as they just stared at you, like they were waiting for some kind of reaction. But, you were in so much shock, with so many different thoughts going a million miles a minute, you didn’t know how to react. Did you scream? Did you cry? Did you slap him? You didn’t know what you were supposed to do. 
The only thing you knew of for sure was you needed to get out of there. If you spent another second in that room--in his bed--you were going to lose your mind. 
“Beomgyu… Can you get out? I need to get dressed.” You said slowly, your voice starting to waver. 
He nodded wordlessly, then stepped out of the room and closed the door behind you. All it had taken was a matter of seconds for the place you didn’t want to leave to become the last place on Earth you wanted to be. 
“Y/N, please.” Was all Yeonjun said as you stood up from the bed. His voice sounded far away. 
You didn’t respond as you slowly dressed yourself. Through the wall, you could hear voices talking in another room, one of which obviously belonging to a girl. There was no way you were going to be able to go out that way, which meant you were going to have to climb out the window. When you were a little girl, the idea of sneaking out of a boy’s room through the window sounded exciting and romantic. Now, it was a part of your worst nightmare. 
Once you finally had your clothes on, you walked over to the window--the same, stupid window that had woken you up earlier in the morning. You hated that stupid window. 
“Y/N, I can explain everything, I swear I can--” 
“You have a guest, it sounds like. You’d better go say hi.” You said numbly as you opened up the window. You took note of how, like your window in your bedroom, there was no screen. Which reminded you of the night he had hit you in the face with a pebble. 
You should have never gone out to talk to him that night. 
“Please, baby, just--” You didn’t give him a chance to finish. Without a look back at him, you slipped out of his window, and onto his rooftop. He didn’t try to stop you.
Your entire walk home, you felt numb all over. You weren’t sure how to process what had just happened. All you could do was keep replaying the way Yeonjun had looked at you. The pathetic, guilty look on his face, and his sad eyes as he gazed at you. Even worse, the pity on Beomgyu’s features. Like you were some puppy that had just gotten kicked to the curb.  
At home, your mom was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a coffee and reading the book you’d brought along on the trip. With everything that had been happening as of late, you hadn’t really had much time to read, so she had decided to pick it up. 
You were hoping to just avoid any conversation and go up to your room, but of course, you never got the things you hoped for. Your mom heard you open the door, and put the book down to look at you. 
“Y/N? Are you alright?” She asked, and you weren’t sure how she was able to tell something was wrong, but it must have been a mother’s instinct, or something like that. 
You could just lie, and tell her you were fine, but you knew she wouldn’t believe that. Your bottom lip trembled, and you shook your head. “No.” Was all you could manage to get out before you burst into an explosion of sobs. Lucky for you, your mother was quick, and rushed to your side before you could collapse onto the floor. 
“Oh, honey, what happened?” She gently caressed your hair, trying her hardest to console you. But, you’d never broken down like this in front of her before, so you weren’t surprised when she didn’t fully know how to help you. 
Since you had asked that question, and gotten those looks in response, you had been trying to avoid directly confronting what had happened. You just knew something was bad, and that he had been lying to you about it. But, now, you were forced to finally say the words that had been lingering in the back, waiting to be acknowledged, that you’d been too afraid of. 
“I think--I think he’s been cheating on me.” You cried out in between sobs, your body trembling in her arms. You could hardly breathe from how hard you were crying, could barely see through the tears nonstop flooding your eyes. “God, I’m such--I’m such an idiot! I should have known, I should have fucking known!” 
“Hey, no. You’re not an idiot.” Your mom said firmly, gently forcing you to look at her. “You’re not an idiot. If he really is cheating on you, then he’s the idiot.” 
You shook your head, rapidly blinking away your tears in an attempt to be able to look at her. More than anyone in the world, you knew she would be able to understand what had happened to you. How it had taken seconds for your world to be shattered. 
In your time dating Yeonjun, you hadn’t even told your mom about him. She was recovering from her divorce, you thought that telling her all about how you were falling for someone would be insensitive, or something, so you chose not to tell her about it. Even still, she wasn’t asking you questions, like who was cheating on you, or anything like that. Instead, she was just doing her best to comfort you, and be there for you. 
“I’m an idiot because… Because I think I still love him.” You whimpered. 
“I know you do.” She whispered, and pulled you into a hug as you sobbed into her shoulder. 
“I know you do.”
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“HER NAME IS KARINA.” 
You hadn’t left your room in days. You spent most of your time either crying, sleeping or eating.  There was this heavy feeling in your chest, like your heart was physically aching, which was making it hard to motivate yourself to do anything. The fear of running into Yeonjun or any of his friends was also keeping you from leaving. 
The worst part of it all, though, was he hadn’t tried to reach out once. You had expected a bunch of phone calls, and to be bombarded with text messages, hell maybe he would show up on your doorstep and ask your mom to talk to you. But, all you got from him was radio silence. You supposed he was too busy with Karina. 
You did get lots of texts from Chaeryeong, Jisu, and even Keena wondering where you had been. When you didn’t respond, they took it upon themselves to show up at your house, asking your mom if you had died. 
They found you curled up on your bed, watching Twenty-Five Twenty-One—aka the perfect drama to cry to—on your laptop. If even Yijin and Heedo hadn’t been able to make it, what in the world made you think that you and Yeonjun stood a chance? At least Yijin hadn’t cheated on Heedo, though. 
After lots and lots of pressuring, you finally cracked and told them what happened. About how Beomgyu had burst into the room, and about how Yeonjun didn’t chase after you when you escaped out the window. 
“Okay, but you don’t know who she is, right? How do you know he was cheating?” Chaeryeong had asked you, while Jisu seethed in the corner. 
“It was written all over his face. I just knew.”
After that, Jisu told you she was going to go undercover and gather information for you. You told her she really didn’t need to do that, you weren’t sure you even wanted to know any information, but she insisted. Because even if you didn’t want to hear it then, you might want to hear it later. 
Which led to now, where the three of you were gathered on your porch, going over the information. You had basically been forced to go outside, because according to Chaeryeong, you were in desperate need of some Vitamin D… The sunlight kind. 
“Yeah, I already gathered that much.” You responded, pulling your knees up to your chest. 
Jisu nodded. “Right. Okay. According to Beomgyu, they’d been going out for almost a year, but started fighting pretty bad this spring.” 
“A year…” You swallowed hard, the familiar feeling of tears prickling the corners of your eyes starting to arise. 
“Yeah… They decided to take a break this summer. So, technically, they’re not together right now.” 
Chaeryeong gasped. “Wait! This is just like that episode of Friends! I think, I dunno, I never watched that show.” 
Jisu glared at her. “Sure. Like Friends. Anyway, Wooyoung said she just showed up that morning, looking for Yeonjun. Apparently, she missed him, and decided to come surprise him, and end their break early, or whatever.” 
You stared aimlessly out at the street, holding yourself back from blinking, so the tears wouldn’t spill out of your eyes. “So, this whole time… From the first bonfire we talked at… He’s had someone else on his mind.” You croaked out. 
Chaeryeong sat next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I really believed him, too.”
“He’s a fucking asshole. I’m gonna go kill him.” Jisu muttered as she paced back and forth across the porch.
“Don’t do that.” You shook your head, wiping the stray tears that spilled from your eyes off of your cheeks. “I don’t—I don’t want him to know how badly he hurt me. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.”
Jisu exchanged a look with Chaeryeong, then her muscles relaxed. “Okay. You’re right.” She said with a sigh. 
Suddenly, Chaeryeong’s eyes lit up. “Oh, you know the perfect way to do that?” She asked excitedly, sitting forward in her seat. 
You shook your head. 
“So, Seungmin is throwing a huge bonfire party down at the beach with his friends, maybe we could find you a guy to flirt with, take your mind off of Yeonjun!” 
You absolutely hated how badly your time with Yeonjun affected you. Because now, the thought of flirting with anyone who wasn’t him made your stomach churn. “Oh. Yeah, um, I don’t know…”
“We know you’re probably afraid of running into him.” Jisu jumped in. You wondered if they’d been planning this. “But, what if we can promise you he won’t be there?” 
You must have been visibly grimacing at the thought, as Chaeryeong was quick to start trying to change your mind. “Please, Y/N! We miss going out with you so much! Just come and try to let yourself have fun, and if you’re still not feeling it, we’ll take you home!” She was practically begging, and Jisu was nodding fervently in agreement. 
They were probably right. A night out would be good for you, and help take your mind off of everything. There was just a part of you that didn’t want to take your mind off of it. Some sick part of you enjoyed the pain—not because you were a masochist or anything, but because the pain meant it wasn’t completely over yet. 
Maybe it was time for it to be over, though. 
“…You can absolutely guarantee he won’t be there?” You looked between the two of them. 
Chaeryeong nodded. “Mhm! We will tell Wooyoung and Beomgyu to keep him far away from that beach!” She told you enthusiastically. 
With both of their eyes trained on you intensely, you realized you didn’t really have a choice in the matter. You let out a sigh. “Okay, fine. I’ll go.”
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GOING TO A BONFIRE FOR YOUR FIRST NIGHT OUT SINCE finding out your boyfriend had been lying to you for months was not the best idea. After all, it has been at a bonfire party earlier in the summer where you had reconnected with him. Now, at the party where you were supposed to be thinking about anything but him, he was all you could think about. 
Even when you were talking to a perfectly attractive guy, who was very obviously into you, all you could think about was him. Some guy—Taehyun, you think his name was?—visiting for the summer that was randomly invited by Seungmin had taken interest in you the second you and your friends arrived, and they insisted you go talk to him. 
“Yeah, I spend a lot of time at the gym. I’m hoping to start boxing soon.” He was explaining to you as you were both walking along the beach. You nodded mindlessly, swirling around the beer in your plastic cup. “What about you? You in school, or anything?”
“Oh, I study environmental science.” You answered, then took a long sip of your beer, reveling in the way it burned your throat as it went down. Of course, because you couldn’t think of anything else, you couldn’t stop yourself from being reminded of your first date with him. 
Taehyun’s eyes lit up. “Oh wow, that’s so cool! What kind of job are you hoping to get with that?”
You shrugged, and took another drink of your beer. Jisu and Chaeryeong were going to regret letting you go off on your own later. “You know, I’m not totally sure. Some kind of environmental scientist or something.” 
He laughed, although you weren’t sure why, since it wasn’t meant to be a joke or anything. “You’re really funny, Y/N.”
“Thanks…?” You glanced over at him with furrowed eyebrows. “People call me a lot of things, but I don’t think funny is a really common one.” 
“Oh really? What do they call you?” He asked, clearly amused. 
“You know… Smart, nice, pretty…” You flashed him a smile, unsure where this flirty side of you was coming from. It was probably a combination of the alcohol and your desperation to get Yeonjun off of your mind. 
“Ah, I can definitely see why they might call you those things.” He replied smoothly, and bumped his shoulder against your own. Instinctively, you glanced over your shoulder, searching for Jisu and Chaeryeong somewhere. Although, you wished you hadn’t. 
“What? What’s wrong?” Taehyun asked when you stopped dead in your tracks. 
You dropped your cup into the sand. 
You couldn’t believe the fucking audacity. There he was, with the most drop dead gorgeous girl you had seen in your entire life. You could barely see his face due to how far away he was, and the darkness blanketing the beach, but you could tell he was looking for someone—looking for you. 
To say you were panicked was an understatement. The second you saw his face, you were whipping around to face Taehyun. You could feel your breaths start to quicken, and your hand darted up to press against your chest. Hadn’t Jisu and Chaeryeong promised you that he wouldn’t be there? You were barely prepared for a night out without him, much less a night out with him. 
“Woah, are you alright?” Taehyun asked, gently taking hold of your arms like you might topple over—which, you probably might. 
“I—um, I need to get out of here.” You answered, the all too familiar feeling of tears forming in the corners of your eyes making an appearance. “Can you help me find my friends?” 
Taehyun nodded, starting to lead you in the direction of the fire without a question. You raised one of your hands in an attempt to block your face from view. He really was a sweet guy. It was too bad you were still very hooked on someone else. 
He slid an arm around your shoulder—likely in an attempt to comfort you rather than to try and flirt with you. At least you hoped that’s what it was. Your eyes landed on Chaeryeong, who was swaying in front of the bonfire with Seungmin’s arms around her waist, and let out a sigh of relief. You were almost there. 
Any efforts you made to hide your face from view proved to be futile, though. You discovered this when Taehyun suddenly let go of you, then you heard his body hit the sand. There was a collection of gasps, and you turned to see Yeonjun standing there, flexing his fingers. 
He punched him! He fucking punched him!
“What the fuck is your problem?!” You demanded, shoving his chest with as much force as you could muster so he stumbled backwards. 
“Hey, don’t touch him!” A feminine voice spoke up behind him, and you could physically feel your face pale. Karina. 
“Stop, it’s fine.” Yeonjun reassured her, then turned to look at you with narrowed eyes. “He was fucking all over you, Y/N.” 
“No he wasn’t!” You spat back at him as you helped Taehyun to his feet. “Besides, even if he was, you don’t get to fucking care. Not anymore.” 
Karina was visibly confused, but you didn’t really care right now. You were too busy focusing on not crying, and instead appearing as intimidating as possible. 
“Y/N, let’s just go talk for a minute, please let me explain—“ 
“No! I don’t need you to explain, Yeonjun, I understand perfectly fucking well. You were fighting with your girlfriend, you were on a break, and in a desperate attempt to get some action this summer, you lied to me and told me you loved me.”
Okay, now you were definitely crying. 
“Jun? What is she talking about?” Karina asked slowly, looking over at her boyfriend with wide eyes. 
He didn’t look at her, though. Instead, he had his eyes trained on you, lips pressed tightly together. 
“See? You can’t even try to tell me it’s not true. Just stay away from me, Yeonjun.” You snapped, and turned away from him before he could see you cry any more. 
As you stormed away from the bonfire—heading god knows where—you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. You were drunk, and sobbing, and overall in the worst emotional distress you never imagined could be possible. Your head was spinning as you stomped away, barely able to keep yourself standing from the way your ankles kept twisting in the sand. 
Miserable didn’t even begin to describe how you were feeling. You still weren’t sure where in the world you were going, but all you knew was you needed to get far, far away from that place. Far away from your friends who had pressured you into coming out tonight; far from Taehyun, who was too kind to you for you to be able to handle. And most of all, you needed to be far away from Choi Yeonjun. 
Just a week earlier, you couldn’t imagine being apart from him for more than a few minutes. Now, though, you couldn’t imagine being around him for more than a second. All it took was one look at him for you to be overwhelmed with heartache. 
“Y/N!” 
Of course. 
You didn’t have to look back to know who was jogging up behind you. “I told you to stay away from me!” Your voice cracked as you shouted back at him. 
“Y/N, you’re stumbling all over the place, let me help you before you fall!” You felt his hands grab ahold of your arms in an attempt to steady you, and for a second—just for a second—you could feel yourself melt into the familiar touch. But, it only lasted a second. 
“Don’t touch me!” You screamed, and finally turned around to face him. His expression was wracked with guilt, and you almost felt bad. Almost. “You promised me, Yeonjun! You fucking promised me!” You jabbed a finger into his chest as the words tumbled out of your mouth. 
“I know, I know, and I’m so sorry Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, and you could see the tears slipping onto his cheeks catch the moonlight. “I was going to tell you everything, I was—“
“Did I mean anything to you, Yeonjun? Or was I just another conquest to keep your summer interesting?” 
His eyes widened. “Did you mean anything—of course you did, Y/N—I mean, you do.” He told you, and his hand cupped your cheek. You didn’t fight his touch, this time. “I wasn’t lying when I told you I love you. I do, Y/N, I love you.” 
You couldn’t look him in the eyes. “If you really love me, why did you let me fall in love with you, knowing that you were never going to be mine?” 
“I am yours, Y/N! I’ve been yours since the first night I showed up outside your house. I knew that night that I was done with Karina, I just want you.” He was pleading with you, his thumb stroking your cheek as he tried to get you to look at him. 
“How—how am I supposed to trust you, Yeonjun? How do I know you’re not lying to me again?”
He shook his head, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth. “I-I don’t know, Y/N. If you just give me one more chance, let me prove myself to you—“ 
You pulled his hand off your cheek. “No, Yeonjun. I already gave you a chance. I told you about my dad, and how badly it fucked me up, just for you to turn me into the other woman.”
“You are not the other woman, babe, you’re so much more than that.” His whole face was wet with tears, and you imagined yours looked the same. Glimmering under the moonlight, it might look beautiful if it wasn’t for the context. 
“I’m sorry, Yeonjun. I love you, I really do, but I can’t. So please just let me go.” 
A small part of you wished he had fought for you. If he begged for you to forgive him just a little bit longer, you probably would have given in. You were so desperately in love with him, you probably would have taken him back and one day been able to put this entire thing behind you. When he gave you a defeated nod, though, you felt your heart sink. 
“Okay. Okay. But, please, Y/N, just don’t ever think I don’t love you, or that everything I said to you was a lie. Because it wasn’t. I love you.”
Every time he said those three words, it was like a knife to your heart. Every time, your whole summer together replayed in your head, from the moment you two talked at the bonfire, to the moment Beomgyu said Karina’s name. How had it all fallen apart so easily? How could two people who loved each other so much end up like this?
You knew things were over between the two of you. As badly as it hurt, and as badly as you didn’t want things to be done, you knew they were. So, you decided to do one last thing. You stepped towards him, and gently cradled his face in your hands. 
“I know. I love you, too.” You whispered, then closed the distance between the two of you. 
If ever in your life you could choose one moment to frame in your mind forever, it would be that kiss. Even though your lips were both wet with tears, and you were still a bit drunk, it was still the most romantic moment of your entire life. His arms snaked around your waist and pulled you close to him, like if he tried enough, he could melt your bodies into one, and you’d never have to leave him. 
You knew, in that moment, you would never get over him. No matter how hard you tried, you would never be able to shake your connection to him. Even though he had put you through hell in the last week, he had also gifted you the best summer of your life. There would always be a part of you that loved him. 
As much as you never wanted to let go of him, you knew you had to eventually. So, you reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, and pressed your forehead against his. 
“Goodbye, Yeonjun.” This time, when you started to walk away, he didn’t try to stop you. 
That was the last time you saw Choi Yeonjun. 
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FOUR MONTHS LATER…
YOU HADN’T MEANT TO KILL THE MOOD. Everyone had just finished their finals, which obviously meant it was time to go out and celebrate. Just like every other night throughout the semester, you hadn’t really been in the mood to go out, but Haeun insisted you go out tonight. 
“Look, I don’t know what in the hell happened to you this summer, but it’s been months! It’s time to get over it!” She had told you. “Please come do something fun with us! Just for tonight!” 
Haeun wasn’t exactly the kind of girl to take no for an answer. Even though you would much rather curl up on your bed and watch a drama on your laptop like you did the majority of your nights since you arrived on campus, you knew deep down you didn’t really have a choice. 
Which was how you ended up in some bar on the edge of campus. Haeun and her friends were going off about some girl they all seemed to hate, but you weren’t really paying much attention. You were a bit too preoccupied playing this little game with yourself where you drank as much as you could before anyone noticed and stopped you. 
“Did you see her newest Instagram post? She’s so lame.” Haeun’s friend, Choonhee leaned over to show Nari, who started laughing loudly. You had never really liked Haeun’s friends. They were too mean for your tastes. 
“Y/N~!” Haeun sang to you, leaning in close so only you would be able to hear her. “That guy over there has been checking you out all night.” 
You rolled your eyes, but followed her gaze anyway. Sure enough, there was a guy on the other end of the club, eyes trained on you as he took a sip of his drink. Immediately, you started shaking your head, and Haeun frowned. 
“Why notttt, Y/N? He’s cute, and you’re single, just go talk to him!” She whined at you. 
“I’m not interested, Haeun.” You took a drink of the cocktail you’d been working on. 
She groaned. “Why?! I know you’re shy, or whatever, but you’re about to graduate soon! And you can’t graduate as a virgin!” 
You choked on your drink, and she raised an eyebrow at you. “Unless… You’re not a virgin anymore…? Is that why you’ve been acting weird since this summer?” 
“I don’t want to talk about it.” You sighed. Great, now you were thinking about him again. And you did not want to be thinking about him again. “I’m gonna go get a shot. You want anything?” 
“No. And you don’t need another shot. Do you think I didn’t notice you downing drinks all night?” 
Choonhee and Nari started to quiet down, taking interest in your conversation with Haeun. 
“I’m fine, Haeun. I can handle my liquor.” You waved a hand at her as you started to stand up. Your skirt got caught on your chair, though, causing you to nearly fall down. You heard Chanhee and Nari start to giggle, and shot the two of them dirty looks. 
Haeun looked at you warily, then slowly stood as well. “Um, I actually forgot but Y/N has work tomorrow. So I think I’m gonna take her home.” 
Choonhee rolled her eyes. “Please. We’re trying to celebrate, we really don’t need her ruining the mood.” She said it in a hushed voice, like you might not be able to hear her. But, of course you did. 
You heard everything that people said about you. During your last week of the summer, before coming home, you heard Jisu and Chaeryeong whispering about you. Poor Y/N. When you were road tripping back home with your mom, and you were supposed to be asleep, you heard your mother talking about you. Poor Y/N. When you were supposed to meet Haeun for lunch, you heard her talking to Choonhee and Nari. She used to be so much more fun. 
You heard everything. 
Haeun led you out of the bar, before you got the urge to fight someone. Now that you were outside, with the cool air on your face, you realized just how much you had drunk. Your head was spinning, and you weren’t sure you were entirely conscious. It felt like your mind was on a completely different plane from your body. Still, though, as drunk as you were, you still couldn’t get him out of your mind.
As Haeun started to order an Uber, you couldn’t think of anything else better to do than to pull out your phone. Maybe you would text Chaeryeong and Jisu to tell them you missed them, or text your mom really quickly. But you weren’t able to do any of that. The lone notification staring up at you prevented any of that from happening.
Just your fucking luck. 
yeonjun
hey
You absolutely couldn’t believe it. That was all you got? A fucking hey?! After all that shit, he texted you hey? You had half a nerve to smash your phone onto the concrete. 
But, before you got the chance, the Uber that Haeun ordered rolled up against the sidewalk. You stumbled into the backseat next to Haeun, who you could tell was a little bothered by your behavior. You really hadn’t meant to ruin her night. Even though she was the one who had insisted you go out with them that night, she still didn’t deserve to deal with you when you were acting like this. 
You turned on your phone again to stare at the message. 
hey
You hated him. You hated him for waiting until now to text you—you hated him for texting you at all! He should have just left you alone. He single-handedly ruined your night, and probably your whole week with that text message. Most of all, you hated him because you missed him. So bad. 
You didn’t remember when you started crying. But you did. One minute you were fine, blinking at your screen blankly. And suddenly your cheeks were wet, and tears had dropped down onto your phone. Your vision was becoming foggy, but you were still able to make out the contents of the notification. 
“Woah, are you okay?” Haeun asked, leaning forward to get a better look at you. 
“Fine!” You huffed, and wiped at your eyes. Your fingers moved faster than your brain did, and before you got the chance to consider if it was a good idea, you were dialing a number. 
One ring…
Two rings…
Three rings…
For eight rings, you sat there waiting for him to pick up. And he never did. Instead, you were sent to his voicemail. 
“Hey, this is Yeonjun. Sorry I missed you. Leave your name and number and I’ll give you a call back. Bye!” 
Just the pre recorded sound of his voice over your phone speaker made your chest tighten. The phone beeped, giving you the cue to start talking. You could feel Haeun’s stare burning holes into your head, like she was trying to figure out who in the world you were calling. 
“Really, Yeonjun? You text me, and can’t even answer the phone? You text me hey, and can’t pick up the phone? What’s your problem? By the way, what does that even mean?! Hey?! That’s all you have to say to me, after everything you did?” 
You could feel your voice cracking as you shouted into the phone. Haeun was visibly intrigued by your voicemail, leaning in closer to hear you better--as if your loud shouts weren’t occupying the entire vehicle.
“Whatever… Hey. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I… I hate you. I hate you Yeonjun, so fucking bad! When my dad cheated on my mom, and destroyed our family, I never thought that I could hate someone more than I hated him. But guess what, Yeonjun? You proved me wrong! So congratulations!” 
Your head was starting to pound--badly--so you leaned over to rest your head against the window. The few stray tears from before had developed into a full on rainstorm, coating your cheeks in salty wetness and worsening your headache. For a minute, you just sat there in silence, trying your best to keep your breathing steady. It wasn’t working. 
After your long silence, you finally sucked in a long, shaky breath, then spoke again. “I hate you because I gave you all of me. All of me. And you--you just threw it all away! Like it was just nothing to you!” By that point, you had forgotten all about the other people in the car with you. Now, it was just you, and Yeonjun. You didn’t care about Haeun sitting next to you, or the Uber driver listening in on the conversation. All you cared about was getting the words that had been weighing heavy against your chest for the last four months off of you. 
“You know what I hate most though, Yeonjun?” You asked, your trembling voice barely above a whisper. “I hate that even though you broke my promise, even though you were never truly mine… Even though I should hate you… I can’t. No matter how hard I try, I can’t bring myself to hate you. I think about you, all of the time. Even when Jeong Jaehyun, the hottest guy in our whole program asked me out on a date, I had to say no. Because I knew that he would never be you.”
A breathy laugh fights itself out of your lips. “I sound so fucking pathetic. And it’s because I am! I am fucking pathetic! But it’s all your fault! Because for whatever reason that I still can’t figure out, I love you. I still love you, so much, Yeonjun. Isn’t that just the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” 
There’s a tap on your shoulder, and when you glanced over at Haeun, you realized the car stopped. You looked out the window again to see you had already made it to your apartment complex. Jeez, how long had you been talking on the phone for?
“Shit. I’ve gotta go. Um, if you’re going to text me again, do more than just hit me with a hey. Or, I don’t know, call me. You know we’re way past sending each other heys.” 
You opened up the car door, mouthing a small “sorry” to Haeun. “We are so talking later!” She whisper-shouted back to you. You rolled your eyes as you stepped out of the car. You’d have to make sure Haeun gave that driver a nice tip later. 
“Okay. Goodbye, Yeonjun.” You said with a sigh, standing still on the pavement leading to your apartment as the car started to drive away. “I miss you.” You whispered, and finally ended the call. 
Luckily, your angry ranting over the phone had helped you to sober up enough that you made it into your apartment no problem. Your head was still spinning, though, and you practically fell onto your bed as you climbed into it. You were still drenched in makeup, and wearing the clubbing outfit Haeun had helped you pick out, but you were too tired to worry about all of that. You were ready to just pass out right then and there. 
Sprawled out across your mess of blankets, you could feel yourself drifting off to sleep. You knew you had messed up with that stupid voicemail, but you weren’t going to worry about it now. That was Sober Y/N’s problem to deal with. 
There was a familiar buzzing, though, and you were slowly pulled back into consciousness. Your hand grappled around your bed, trying to locate the source of the buzzing, then finally landed atop your phone. With a groggy groan, you rolled over onto your side, and held your phone in front of your face. Your eyes widened when you saw the caller ID. 
Should you answer? Or should you leave it be? You knew if you answered it, you were opening up a whole new door you weren’t sure you were ready for. Answering it was dangerous. If you ignored the call, you might finally be able to start your journey of moving on forever. You might finally have the chance of leaving him behind. Either way, this phone call was a very decisive moment for you. Whatever you decided to choose, you knew it was going to change your relationship with him forever. 
So, what would it be? Would you open that door, or leave it shut forever? Deep down, before you even made your decision, you knew what you were going to do. 
Your phone stopped buzzing. 
It was quiet. 
And then… 
“Hey, Y/N.” 
You smiled. 
“Hey, Yeonjun.” 
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hoshigray · 8 months
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Anon said: I hope it's okay.. wondering if you could write something for ushijima where he's married with kids and the mc is starting to feel insecure about her body and ushijima shows to her how much he still gets turned on by her (now more than ever too). Also I'm really happy I came across your blog! Absolutely love your writing! 🤗💕✨️
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Omg another Ushi request!! Stop this is so cute, has me grinnin' and shit!! Tysm for the kind words, noonie, happy to have you on my blog as well~ ;w; ♡ (also, I'm so so so SO sorry for deleting your ask before, plz forgive me bc the draft wasn't finished AT ALL, lmao)
Cw: Ushijima x fem! reader - soft and then smutty, so minors DNI - reader is chubby + has stretch marks cuz I said so - kisses on body (f! receiving) - cunnilingus/oral (f! receiving) - implied breeding kink - praise - biting (Ushi nibbles on your tummy, cheeks, and nipples) - clitoral play (swiping and sucking) - ends with implied insertion - slight overstimulation - reader feeling self-conscious about their body but Ushi coming in for the rescue - you and Ushi have two-year-old twin sons!! Wc: 2.8k
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There's nothing you would want to change about your life.
You already thought you hit the jackpot when you stumbled upon and started dating THE Wakatoshi Ushijima, a man you never — in your WILDEST dreams imaginable — could see yourself with. And the fact that he proposed and took you as his spouse is shocking enough. But now, as you see him on the couch with two small children asleep on his lap as the man watches the television, it's hard to conceal the smile that sneaks past your comprehension, and you silently walk upstairs to your shared bedroom.
It's been three years since you and Ushijima tied the knot, and you expectant with two boys immediately after. Since then, your life has gotten brighter and brighter by the day. Not only has Ushijima been a great and supportive unit as he has been since he first met you, but watching your sons grow into such beautiful bundles of joy never fails to make you beam with glee. And it's so cute because they're literal carbon copies of their father! Aside from being much more expressive and bubbly than their silent parent, he says they get from you.
For the past three years, every day in the Ushijima household has been grateful. Having a loving husband and two wonderful children is evidence of such. Because of this happiness you bestow and witness, there's absolutely nothing in this life that you'd want to change or replace…
...But that's a lie because there is one thing you'd wish to change. And it bothers you as you stare into the bedroom mirror.
Turning your figure to the left and right in your underwear, you're the only one here who can point out the critiques of your body that you've noticed since pregnancy. Your brows crease as you bore holes at the plumpness of your abdomen that wasn't this curvy before, the detailed streaks of your stretch marks indicating the changes your body's undergone through the years. And your appearance comes off plumper than you've remembered prior; memories of your "perfect" figure from your wedding night flood your mind.
The mirror doesn't display a "you" that you recognize. It's a "you" that has long replaced your old self — the old self who was distinct compared to now, the old self that would model cute outfits and pose with their friends, the old self that grabbed the attention of a well-renowned volleyball player and would soon bear his children.
That old self is long gone, fueling your dismay about who you're looking at as your reflection. This is you, but this isn't your body, is it? It can't be. A body like this shouldn't be able to experience the happiness you're experiencing...should it? The more you stare at your reflection, the blurrier your head is clouded with your thoughts, and an uncomfortable bob strangles your throat.
KNOCK!! KNOCK!!
You jump at the sudden sound, turning to face the ajar bedroom door. Your husband, Ushijima, entering halfway. "Can I come in?"
"Uhhh, yeah, come in!" You stutter as you grab an oversized shirt (Ushijima's) to cover up. It's funny: being together all these years and you still wish to be modest around your partner. He closes the door behind him once you sit on your side of the bed. "Put the boys to bed."
"Mhmm." He hums in response, walking to the mirror you were using, touching up on his hair before taking off his shirt. He stretches in front of the glass, and you observe him as he does so. His reflection depicts the gorgeous lean physique as his breathtaking back muscles captivate you. Even when he goes into the closet to fetch a more comfortable tee to sleep in, your eyes never leave him.
Strong. Stoic. Incredibly athletic. And a cadence that engulfs anyone in his path. There are many ways people in your surroundings have depicted your husband. And with a front-row seat, you understand what they mean. Ushijima is a rather unusual breed of man, both mind and body; it's a fact you've known before you two dated. And it's a fact that grasps your attraction to him constantly. All these years, and he's still the handsome man you fell in love with.
Makes you wonder if he thinks the same for you. Even with your current body...
"Y/n." A voice snaps you back to the present, turning to the other side of the bed to see Ushijima look directly at you. You blink with a shiver; he must've been calling for you while deep in your thoughts. "You okay?"
You cough before answering. "Ahem, yeah, yeah! Sorry, I'm fine."
The man trenches his brows. "No, you're not." He cuts you off before you can say an excuse. "This is the third time this week you've been thinking up a storm to yourself. Not to mention you've been doing it for the past few months."
"Am...Was I that obvious?"
"That, and I saw you looking at yourself earlier." It's bad enough his blunt answers shoot arrows to your heart, but to know he did see you eyeing yourself at the mirror? Your mind goes rampant thinking what he'll say next. "So, what's wrong?"
You could try to dismiss the topic again and just retire for the night, but you know Ushijima well enough to know you can trust him with what you're thinking. You sigh heavily, turning to your fingers that fidget amognst themselves. "Toshi...Do you...like my body?"
One second goes by. Three seconds. The silence gnaws you, you chew on your lip to distract yourself until the man answers. "...What do you mean?"
"Like...before I had the boys, I felt real...confident? With myself?" Your fingers now toy with the comforter covering your lower body, the awkward atmosphere eating you alive. "I'm not saying I was the most gorgeous person alive or anything, but I liked how my body looked. And now, after being pregnant and everything, I just feel like.....I don't know. Forget about it; good night!" You swiftly turned off the lamp on your bedside and patted your pillow. But before you can situate yourself to sleep, a hand comes to your cheek, prompting you to look at your spouse again.
"Y/n." The way he says your name is so calm and comforting. You lean to his touch. "Is that what's been bothering you?"
You nod, a thumb stroking the soft flesh of your cheek. "Yeah, it's just me with my stupid thoughts bullying me, really..."
Ushijima hums, his free hand freeing your lower half from the warm comforter, exposing your legs to the air-conditioned space. "You shouldn't let those thoughts take the best out of you. You're an adult; it's only natural that your body changes as you grow. And as a mother, it's not guaranteed you'll look like your old self." Once again, the man obliviously scolds you with his curt response. Although, you know he's not wrong, nodding to his words.
"I know, I know. It's just..." Another sigh leaves your fatigued lips. "Every time I look at myself, I just don't know...how can such an amazing and wonderful guy like you still want to be with me looking...different. I get it: it's just my head being mean. But still..." And you leave it at that, withdrawing your face from his warm palm.
Ushijima, though, kept his eyes on your solemn expression. He tries again, bringing his hand up to your chin to look at him. "To answer your question: yes, I do like your body. The reason why is that it's your body. I keep mine in the same condition — if not better — simply because I have a job that requires me to do so. But that's just for me, not you. I didn't date you just because of your body alone. I sure didn't propose to you for it either. I married you — all of you. I love everything about you, and that love hasn't changed since I said my vows." The hand on your chin returns to cupping your cheek. "And it won't change just because of some natural changes to your body. Otherwise, I'd be a terrible husband and father for thinking so."
"Toshi..." Just when you thought your love for this man couldn't get any significant, he always finds a way to bring it up to substantial levels. Your heart swoons to his words, making you fall unquestionably in love with him again. Now you bring a hand to his cheek, "You're such a wonderful man, you know that? So lucky to have you as my husband." He averts his gaze from yours, a sign you know is his way of accepting praise.
"I'll say this, though," the tall man places his other hand to seize your small one on his cheek, olive eyes boring into yours: a sign of honesty. "Ever since you had the twins, I think you've become more beautiful than before."
His face draws in close, and your breath hitches. "Toshi—"
"I mean it. You're so beautiful..." His lips rest on your plump ones, and you're gently pushed to your back with your head on the pillows. It doesn't take long for you to melt into his kisses, small gasps when he leaves your lips to set sweet smooches on your cheek and neck. "So beautiful for me....."
The feeling of his lips on you has you under his spell, and you mean when a hand snakes under your shirt. Ushijima lifts the material to expose your body to him; humility still runs over you as you use your hands to cover yourself. But the man before you doesn't let that happen, moving your hands off your body and onto his shoulders. "Don't do that. Let me see it all." His mouth goes back to your neck, sucking on your skin that'll surely leave marks for you to see in the morning.
He then ventured down, kissing and sucking on every piece of insecurity that caged you. Every stretch mark, from your shoulders to your tummy, kissed with love and gratitude. Your plush thighs were rubbed by his hands before his mouth came down, giving the fat above your panties a teasing bite, causing your legs to jerk. Ushijima removes your underwear, discards the lacy material to the cold wooden floor, and spreads your legs to have your bare genitalia out for him to see.
Your face is now hot from the exposition. "Toshi..." you say his name in a whisper, not wanting to get loud as your bedroom is not too far from your sons'. "Please, you don't have to—Ooohhh..." You're cut off when you feel his tongue lap on one of your nipples, licking on the bud while using his hand to toy with the other breast.
"No, I do have to." He says in between licks to your nipple before taking it wholly into his mouth; your whimpers fail to cooperate on wanting to be stifled by your lips. The heat between your legs starts to flourish, having you grind your thighs together to ease the throbbing sensation. And Ushihima notices, releasing your mound from his hand and slithering it between your soft thighs, protruding his fingers between the folds of your vagina. A sharp cry comes out of you at the sudden contact of his forefinger brushing your clit.
"Ahhhh! Toshi, right there, right—Mmmmm..."
"Not yet, Y/n," your husband coos to your ears, his voice so hot to hear. "Need to warm you up first..." He lays kisses on your neck while pushing his finger into you. You bring a hand to cover the shriek from exiting when his digit enters your chasm, your inner walls adjusting to the size. And when he inserts his middle fingers, you find purchase on the tee he's wearing.
"Oooh, hooohh...Jesus Christ, Toshi, your fingers," you whine to him. He brings his face up to glance at yours. "Feels so good, so—Ahaaannn!!"
"Shhhh, keep feeling good for me." He coaxes you with a kiss on your forehead, the pace of his fingers quickens, and the squelching noises coming from your cunt burn your ears. Your hips buck whenever his digits scrape the velvety walls, and your mind slowly descends into a lustful haze. You want him so bad — want him right now.
And Ushijima takes this time to examine your body while he works on your leaky slit. Watching your figure quiver to his touch, your mouth agape for cute moans to fill the space, and your eyes screwed to an expression of pleasure. Here is where he treasures you more than ever: having you like this with him and only him. It turns him on. It's a raunchy thought, but it's true.
Beauty stirs many images in Ushijima's mind. But nothing triumphs over the true definition of beauty when it's about you. You are the most beautiful in his eyes, both body and soul. Every time he looks at you, the memory of your first smile to him flashes before him, a moment he cherishes till his last breath and is the moment that cemented his wish to have you by his side. And now married with two bouncing boys, there has not been one instance where his light for you diminishes. If anything, it grows brighter and brighter.
However, when it comes to his attention that you don't see yourself in the same light as he does, it's only befitting for a husband to fix that. Because, in his eyes, even through all the changes throughout the years, your body still drives him insane. Especially now, when he's the reason that transformed you with his youths. And seeing you writhe on the bed with his fingers in your vulva, that switch that once flipped before has twitched something inside him...
"Ahhhn!! Nnnmm!! Toshi, Oh God..." The tall man snaps to your disheveled look, your eyes watery and lips puffy from frequent chews. "Haaah!! It's coming, I'm gonna—Ohoooo!!"
"Go ahead. Cum on me, Y/n." He kisses and nibbles your cheeks before putting his mouth on your nipple once more, sucking and lightly biting the nub while pushing his fingers in and out of your cunt at a sporadic rhythm. He places his thumb on your clitoris, swiping and grinding on the tender button. And that was the final piece for your orgasm to overtake you, the walls of your slit clamping around his digits while your body quivers with the crawl of your spine.
Your cries fill the bedroom, riding out your climax until the last tremble. Toes curl as your pussy flutters on him, and they relax when your body is sheathed with a soothing silence that calms you down from the aftershocks. Pants exit swollen lips, too distracted in your bliss to catch a glimpse of Ushijima moving downward to your southern lips, his tongue running on your slick-coated folds.
A forced wail comes out at the motion of his mouth on your chasm. "T-Toshi, stop! I'm too sensit—Iiieeee!!" Your hollers return with an ecstatic vigor as your husband drinks your essence.
"Y/n," his voice was loud enough to draw your awareness to him, licking your fluids from your inner thighs. "You drive me crazy, you know. Your body, it turns me on so much."
"Mmmm, hmmmm, r-really?" Even though Ushijima is sucking on your most delicate areas, you're able to carry on with the conversation.
"Really. Actually, I've been turned on throughout the entire pregnancy. Something about making you big and swole with a baby — the thought about it makes me go wild." He finally removes himself from your cunt, licking remnants of your fluids from his lips. He then takes off his tee, his well-built physique for your eyes to ogle.
Hooded olive eyes stare at you as he undoes the drawstring of his sweatpants, bringing them down to reveal his erection. The image of his cock springing has your sweat run to deep ice cold. You know where this is going, and you can't tell if the pulses of your chasm are out of fear or mutual excitement. "Toshi—"
"Hey, Y/n, I've been thinking" he brings you close to him, your legs spread for him. He then aligns his dick to your wet cunt, using your slick to lubricate the tip of his length before pushing it between your folds. You have to bring a hand up to conceal the mewls. "Maybe we should have another baby. Let's try a girl this time." His mind clouded with aroused thoughts; you pregnant with his child again, all big and round and swole with his child. The image sends shivers up his since. He gets so fucking turned on by it. But as long as it's you, it's all good. Even now, when the tip is finally inserted with a muffled cry from your covered lips, Ushijima doesn't want to turn back.
"Want them to be cute and beautiful like you..."
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