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81folklore · 10 hours

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i can do it with a broken heart - f1 grid

parings: gn!driver!reader x platonic!f1!grid x ex!jacob elordi

summary: after yn and their ex break up, they carry on as best they can and no on had any idea how bad they were struggling

notes: george is in this but he does not drive for mercedes, yn does. i also used a mixture of fem and masc pictures because i couldnt decide and thought you could just imagine whatever you wish!!

notes 2: probably the longest fic ive done so far but im pretty proud of it. the time stamps above each section are semi important so i would keep an eye on them!! also i know ive been gone for so long but i do not promise ill be back. alsoooo i know i only included a bit of the grid but i kept getting distracted and then couldn’t figure out how to include everyone!!

masterlist

march 2024

twitter

charles oh my god i cant believe my cat is finally the pfp

i have been waiting for YEARS

max yes well you better enjoy it because it’ll change soon and you’ll be back to waiting again.

lando jesus max do you have to use punctuation???

alex be glad he doesnt use captials

oscar one thing at a time lando, we dont want to scare him

max ???

lando anyway

yn mate you ok?

yourname im fine? ur scaring me you never ask how i am

lando yeah but usually your not single

lewis oh no! you and jacob split?

yourname yeah, wasnt working anymore

charles ah im sorry, that must suck😣

yourname i mean it does but its been coming for a long time so its not surprising

fernando hello! yn what is wrong? you always use emotes!

yourname theyre emojis nando, and im fine just a bit lost

fernando do not worry, i will come and find you!

yourname no, i dont mean literally just..we were together for so long i dont really know what to do now you know?

lando i get it, you wanna play tarkov with me???

yourname cheers ill get on now

george let us know if you need anything!

may 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 814,583 others

p✌️ was just what we needed this weekend!

thank you to everyone who came out and supported myself and the team and huge thank you to the team for working so hard all weekend⭐️

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mercedesamgf1 mega job this weekend yn👊 *liked by author*

landonorris nice to share the podium with you mate

yourusername same time next race?

user33 loved seeing you back on the podium

user2 absolutely smashing it this season

user21 more podiums please🤲 *liked by author*

user3 fourth podium of the year first p✌️*liked by author*

twitter

*pretend it says after march i changed dates around last min*

august 2024

yourusername

liked by lukehemmings, charles_leclerc and 1,124,642 others

did some reading, painting and writing

baked some good food and spent time with some good people, also got a cat…not bad for summer break☀️

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user66 AHHHHHH

yourusername ahhhhhhh

user26 cats name plsplspls

yourusername norman🐱

lukehemmings nice music👍

yourusername woah arent you the guy who wrote mum?!

mercedesamgf1 ready to see you back on the podium

yourusername always!!!!

user74 have you had funnnn??

yourusername yesss!! ive been doing lots of things i enjoy, basically treating every day as my birthday😋

twitter

*was supposed to write them instead of her sorry!! was doing two stories at once and kept getting mixed up😅*

october 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, gracieabrams and 1,291,638 others

p☝️ for the 3rd time this season, very very pleased

huuuuuge thank you to the team, every single one of you who worked tirelessly over the summer break and every moment since then, these have been for you⭐️

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user55 what a good season to be a yn fan *liked by author*

user6 these races have been incredible to watch, so proud

yourusername ⭐️⭐️

gracieabrams woop woop!!!!

yourusername 😝😝

user2 gracie??

user41 why have we not had any personal photo dumps yet😕😕

user88 right we miss seeing you yn!!

yourusername sorry guys😣ive been suuuper busy working on something i just honestly forgot

user41 NEW PROJECT?? WHEN?? (also pls dont feel bad we love u)

yourusername soon!! (and i love u guys too)

twitter

november 2024

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 3,689,921 others

tagged: taylorswift

i cannot believe i get to say this, but my new friend taylor just released a new album and i was able to write a song on the album

im honestly not sure how this came about but i had so much fun writing this and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in a way ive never done before

i poured my life and soul into this song and im so glad taylor is the one who is singing it and really bought it to life

send some love to my friend and go and stream THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (most importantly i can do it with a broken heart😉)

comments have been limited

taylorswift thank you for trusting me with this song, so much love🤍

yourusername NO THANK YOU!!! i will be forever grateful⭐️⭐️

twitter

yourusername added to their story

seen by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 729,282 others

charles i feel completely betrayed yn

fernando oh no😟! what did yn do?

charles THEY DIDNT TELL ME THEY WERE WRITING A SONG??

AND WITH TAYLOR SWIFT HOW COULD YOU☹️☹️

yourname sorry charles, surprise?!

charles ill forgive you because its a good song

yourname thank you my life just got infinitely better!

yuki very good song yn! has been on repeat☺️

yourname thanks yuki, glad you like it!!

lando I LOVE IT TOO

but seriously are you ok?!

yourname yeahhh im better now

was just a lot to navigate

lewis glad you found an outlet! but remember you can always talk to any of us

yourname i know and i appreciate it, i really do

alex yn was that twitter thread right?

yourname mate youre going to have to elaborate

alex user56tweetlink

yourname oh pretty much yeah

some things were changed with taylor but not much

fernando just listened to the song yn! very nice👍well done!

yourname thank uu

max good song yn!

now

lando can you please tell me what you meant on your twitch stream!

oscar max is kind of scary

max dont make me talk about that interview next oscar!

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 drabble #f1 x male reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

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zaptrap · 4 months

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Seeing that you've been here since 2012 is INSANE like you've witnessed it all huh. You've seen probably SO many weird and crazy things in this fandom like man that's so cool for you I feel...

ive def seen and participated in a lot of dumbass bullshit over the years LMAO. although notsomuch during the skybound-to-seabound era cuz i'd lost interest for a bit

Random shit I remember off the top of my head (plz feel free to fact-check):

deviantart era: (2012-2013)

that bright green ninjago ask meme

like, literally everybody making self-insert purple ninjas (sometimes orange, teal, or rainbow) and shipping them with their fav ninja

everyone making their own genderbends of the ninja. cole was almost always called nicole or colette lmao

people also naming their accounts (name)-the-ninja (or "teh-ninja", since this was 2012)

there's a non-zero probability that if you were in the fandom during the season 1 era, you're a furry now

naruto crossovers

half-snake ninja aus.........wonder who uh......who could've done that.....heheh (me) (that was my whole deal pre-nindroid!jay lmfao)

everyone posting like, doll-maker things they made of ninjago? especially dragon ones

(me) posting leaked screenshots of season 2 eps that i found on the lego wiki or smth lmao. this is also how i found out zane was a robot. i think i kept posting leaks when i moved to tumblr

legends of chima releasing and i thiiink it was supposed to be a ninjago replacement? like, legitimately? though a lot of people weren't happy about it. "furry gang drug wars" was a phrase used a lot lmfao.

tumblr era (2013-2016 for me) (may overlap with dA era)

everyone losing their minds over the shirtless ninja in ns2 lmfao

that one video of kirby marrow (rest in peace) saying cole was 14

that other vid of like, behind the scenes and it was the ninja's actors but like in-universe? it's where "cole bucket" comes from

also some behind the scenes vid with the actual voice actors lol

thinking back on this, im like 100% sure it was bullshit but when the end of rebooted aired, there was a rumor going around about fans being so upset over zane's death that they carved a snowflake on their stomachs. lots of people were freaking out lmfao

the rise and fall of "fucknoshittyninjagoOCs" (ashamed to say i heavily participated in harassing this blog even if i rlly didnt like the premise.........)

maypong

lots of tension with instagram cuz of all the art reposts. like. tons of reposts. i remember someone blocked me when i said to take something down but then unblocked me the same evening and apologized LOL so

roleplay twitter accounts (twitter was kinda not-as-a lot at the time)

nindroid!jay of course. its so old there was an update that was made in flash lmfao...

absolute fucking shitloads of AUs and headcanons. i dont think this has changed much but like. there were so many lmfao. entire threads

actually there's too many fucking AUs. im scrolling through my main blog and i cant fuckin find anything cuz ITS ALL THESE STUPID AU THREADS THEY AREN'T EVEN LIKE DEEP LMAO

ask-all-the-ninjagians

the absurd screenshot redraws i did. like they were super stupid lmfao. icr which blog they're on but they're on my comp still at least

ninjagians just. being a term used at all lmao

the ninjago fan-tournament during ns4. people would draw/write about their ocs doing whatever prompt was posted and then everyone came together to defeat a big bad snake man

tbh i started naturally losing interest during ns5, and then VERY QUICKLY dropped the show (and therefore fandom) when skybound came out lmao............... so i dont really remember a lot from this era and everything after

and now im back :D

i hope this is insightful! xD

#ninjago #talking #asks

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battleangel · 6 months

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I Am Not My Hair

What actually happens if I shave my head bald?

Why cant I see what I look like without hair?

Why do I have to be sick or have cancer or be dying?

Why am I not allowed as a woman to just shave my head?

Why do I need a reason, a justification, an explanation?

Why do I have to justify being hairless?

Why are people acting like Im dying and have cancer just because Im bald?

Nothing happens. Thats the gag.

Youve been taught to fear.

Its just my bald head. Why is that forbidden?

Verboten?

Why cant I ever see what my actual head looks like without all this hair on it?

Why cant I see what my face looks like without it constantly being surrounded by hair?

What if I like being bald?

What if I like not spending $1200+ a year on my hair?

What if I like not styling my hair?

What if I like not doing anything with my hair other than cutting it super short, about an inch or two, every few months?

Why does it threaten people for a woman not to care about her hair?

I dont want to go to a hair salon or barbershop.

I dont want to go back to an afro.

I dont want locs or dreads.

I dont want shaved sides, I already did that last year.

I dont want corn rows or bantu knots, Ive done that too.

I dont want to grow it out.

I dont want a $500 lace front wig.

I dont want a wig professionally installed by a stylist every 2 to 3 months.

I dont want to wash or brush my hair.

I dont want to put any products in my hair.

Why is it a sin for a black woman to not want to grow her hair out?

I dont want my "long beautiful" hair back.

I dont want it halfway down my back again.

I dont want it to my waist again.

I dont want to relax it again -- there are lawsuits against Loreal, black women who used Just For Me and other chemical relaxers to straighten their hair are being diagnosed with cancer, inferitility and fibroids.

The chemicals in a relaxer are strong enough to break down and destroy the natural texture of your curly coiled kinks and force it to be straight -- those same chemicals are also strong enough to literally peel paint off of cars -- why are you putting this directly on your scalp for an hour plus every 2 to 3 months from the time you are a pre-teen or in high school until adulthood, for decades, and thinking that there wont be health issues?

They target products to Black women that kill them.

Remember the little Black girls that sang the R&B pop jingle in the Just For Me commercial?

"Just for me...hair so healthy, silky and free."

Who was that song for?

This was the 90s and there were multiple Black girl groups back then -- TLC, 702, Blaque, Xscape, Jade, Total, MoKenStef, etc. -- they wanted to get us while we were young so we would keep using their products until adulthood.

I got my first perm, I am 4C, at 11. I was so glad my mother stopped burning me with the hot comb that she had tortured me with since I was 5. Anything was better than that as I had a very sensitive scalp or "tenderheaded" as it is called in our community.

I couldnt wait to go to Touch of Magic salon where my older sister already had her long, silky hair. I was tired of being tortured by a hot ass comb that was constantlu burning my fucking scalp and I was tired of being told to "sit still" while my scalp was being fucking burned. I couldnt wait for the Revlon Fabulaxer so the dreaded golden hot comb could be forever banished from my existence.

From 11 to 34, 23 years, I faithfully got a relaxer at the salon every 2 to 3 months. It was about $120+ (relaxer, deep condition, style, split ends, color, etc.). Over the years, that fucking adds up, over $100k I spent on my hair. Even when I went natural at 34, my 4c hair is extremely thick, kinky, nappy, unruly and very difficult to deal with. People have literally broken combs trying to comb through it. Needless to say, I couldnt manage anything myself but a wash and go so I spent thousands at the salon as a 4c natural on Senegalese twists, box braids, Bantu knots, corn rows, twist outs, twist updos and flat twists.

Then I shaved my sides and cut my hair super short and started going to barber shops but I was dyeing it fuschia back then so my hair was still costing me money.

Then last year, I finally just grabbed kitchen scissors out of my kitchen and hacked it myself and decided I was never going to go back to a salon or barbershop.

I was going to cut my hair with kitchen scissors myself every 2 to 3 months. I do like different looks so I have five cheap synthetic shitty wigs that are different colors (blue, blonde, green, black). Depending on the lewk and fit, either I just wear my hair natural and short or I slap a wig on.

But thats it. No maintenance, no upkedp, no hair care routines, no wasting away a Saturday at a salon, no barbershops, no wash and gos, no 15 hour sessions getting braided extensions.

Just literally cutting it with kitchen scissors every 2 to 3 months and slapping on a cheap shitty wig whenever I have a certain fit or lewk and thats it.

Then in August, I decided to shave my head bald. I didnt want even a few inches of hair anymore so I grabbed my husbands razor and shaved it. Didnt go to a barbershop or stylist. Had no idea how to even use the razor and just shaved it all off in under 10 minutes. I loved the bald look especially with thick ass winged liquid eyeliner, bold dramatic eyeshadow and colorful lipstick.

I have a few inches of growth that in a month or two, I will grab the kitchen scissors again and cut my hair down to an inch or two. Ill do that every few months. I love it bald but even shaving my head on a regular basis is more time than I choose to devote to my hair. Cutting it with scissors to an inch or two every 2 to 3 months is my absolute limit.

As a woman, thats not allowed.

Especially as a Black woman.

And I was raised by a Southern Baptist fundamentalist, so forget about it.

You have to obsess over your hair, products, styling, color, length, look, appearance, texture, curl pattern, thickness, volume, care routines, pre poo, deep conditoning, tea tree oil, diffusing, texturizing, blow out, straightening, relaxing, lace front wig installations, weaves, kanekalon, bundles, braids, twists, locs, dreads, corn rows, bantu knots...

You cant just not do your hair!

Only you can. Because thats exactly what I do.

Even as a Black woman and we are brainwashed to be absolutely obsessed with our hair.

Go back and look at the hysteria India Arie caused when she shaved her "beautiful curls".

Just like India Arie, I am not my hair.

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serenescribe · 7 months

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Poll: Help me pick my next TWST longfic! [FINISHED]

Hello everyone!

As most of you may know, I am quite the avid longfic writer. However, university's been slowing me down a lot, so I've been unable to write as quickly as before. So why not poll some of my fic ideas and let you all decide?

I'll include some brief, rambling summaries of the options below the cut! The poll will run for seven days, and the winner will be the longfic I focus on next! (That isn't to say I won't write other things since inspiration is fickle and some of these are semi-completed, but for the most case, my priority will be whatever wins!)

[Summaries under the cut!]

i. Bad Things Happen Bingo: Locked in a Freezer Epel-focused! I originally started working on this in April but shelved it because I was more focused on writing Diasomnia. That and I also did not look forward to writing Rook... Still, the benefit of this option is that It's already 2/3 finished, with the first two chapters done, so it would be done a lot faster. I'd feel pretty keen on finishing it sooner if there was interest expressed.

ii. Bad Things Happen Bingo: Barely Conscious Silver-focused! A bad end AU of the Fairy Gala remix event... and that's about all I can say about it. Compared to the other options, it wouldn't be as long, so I could see it being done faster. It would not have a definitive conclusion, being a bad end of an event, but if you like Silver suffering, this is the one for you!

iii. Bad Things Happen Bingo: On the Run Sebek-focused, along with the first years! I originally wanted to write this for Halloween this year, but quickly shelved that idea due to realising how much Uni sapped my energy. This is one of the two options here that would be rated Mature, along with warnings of Major Character Death. It was meant to be a Halloween fic, after all.

iv. Bad Things Happen Bingo: This Is For Your Own Good Silver and Lilia-focused. What can I say about this AU without revealing too much...? This is the other option that would be rated Mature. It gets truly fucked up and dark in the latter half, and bad things truly does happen. It would also be one of the longest fics in the BTHB series, as I'm envisioning two very long chapters. All the same, this is arguably the idea I'm most excited to write. So if that means anything to you (trust in my tastes, perhaps?) you might want to consider voting for this!

v. Bad Things Happen Bingo: Hope Is Scary Silver-focused, though Lilia comes in later. This is arguably the least developed of all the ideas here, however it was a really good idea that Olive thought up and gave me permission to write. A lot of Silver suffering in this one! And being alone. The prompt is literally about losing all hope and not wanting to hope again in case it gets dashed.

vi. Reverse Containment Breach AU: Starchild Lilia and Silver-focused. This is based on Olive's Reverse Containment Breach AU, of which I'd previously written a ficlet for here with Malleus and Sebek. Think something SCP-esque with an organisation studying strange subjects. Head Researcher Lilia Vanrouge stumbles upon a boy who fell from space one night, and that's when everything slowly goes off the rails. I actually finished about 1/3 of this? So it's partially started.

vii. PMMM AU: Lilia Longfic Lilia and Silver-focused. What it says on the tin. Mica and I's PMMM AU, which isn't 1:1 with canon but Lilia takes the role of Homura, and Silver as Madoka. Time loops and general suffering and angst. If you know how Madoka plays out, you know how this one's going to go.

#housekeeping tag #going to tag some twst stuff so this can show up in search #twst #twisted wonderland #twst fanfiction #twst writing #i'm scheduling this to go up while i'm probably asleep btw #reblogs are appreciated! you can idk. convince others to vote for an option? i welcome that

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n7punk · 7 months

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i know i've kind of talked around this stuff for... fuck, three years now? but idk, now it's getting closer to "resolving," i kind of want to talk about it. journal, get it off my chest, idk

i haven't really been specific about my health issues much because 1) privacy and 2) very complicated feelings on it, but feelings are becoming less complicated, so... yeah. privacy is still really important to me, but i have too many feelings about this to keep feeling like i'm silencing myself for some hypothetical... i dont even know what

tbf, if it had turned out to be anything else, i probably wouldn't be comfortable even making a vent post about it now. but it turned out to be. annoyingly simple. i've also got other stuff, physical disabilities and such i've been more candid about but still want to keep the specifics of private, but this is... very different.

long story short, during the pandemic i started experiencing Symptoms. i'm honestly not sure if/how much i have talked about what was wrong with me, because i don't remember... entire years, much at all. i know ive described it as my brain being on fire, but it's more like it instantly melted down and i was left with the aftermath for hours/days/weeks at a time. it really fucked with me emotionally to be fighting through that on top of the direct effects of the Symptoms. and, well, the problem was my brain (probably) so that tracks.

it turns out it was migraines. migraines that shared many symptoms with seizures, brain tumors, or pressure on the brain stem, but yeah. "just" "migraines." and, actually, we don't know that! but migraine medication is helping, so it's probably that and this is where i am, finally waking up these last few months (this summer of updates could Not have happened if it weren't for my new medication) and feeling both very frustrated with what i lost and relieved to not always have to deal with suddenly being unable to understand a sentence anymore.

it's not like. fixed. my brain is still going to burn sometimes. It seems to come in waves, like two bad weeks and then two good ones. we're not done trying to treat it now we know some stuff it's responsive to, but its not like it used to be, wildfires raging all day and my head wavering on my shoulders as i struggled just to read messages from my friends. i literally had an emote i would use to communicate when i couldn't communicate that everybody who knows me understands. i haven't even twitched since starting my new meds! well, like, uncontrollably. trust me, that's progress. i literally had to get a bigger bed so i could be safe in the middle of it when the fits were especially bad and i got twitchy.

uh so that was more story than i planned. really i just wanted to finally talk about what i've been experiencing (at least for the first time that i remember). honestly writing was the only thing that kept me sane while i was trapped inside my own malfunctioning brain. i don't know why it was one of the easiest things for me, when i couldn't even understand a full two sentences being said to me i could still - usually - write (again: i literally couldn't talk for like three of the days when i was writing and updating catcher daily), but i'm so grateful for it. and everybody who told me my stories helped you, or that you looked forward to them, or even just that you enjoyed them: you helped me right back, because you told me there was one thing i could still do, from a capability standpoint to having the ability to make any impact on the world when i was trapped at home. so thank you.

okay i'm done now. just. had to get that out

#i dont like being negative and im very much one of those bare your own shit people because i dont want to bother anyone #and have been living on a razor edge where i certainly couldnt help anyone else with their weight #but like. we're getting towards the victory stage (as close to one as these kinds of things have) so im ready to finally say how bad it was #ive wanted to talk about it a lot but something was always stopping me #(partly some vague but panicked ''what if'' related to sharing too much)#im tired of being held back and choosing to hold back. i want to move on. as much as my body will let me #mylife

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blueberrykenn · 5 months

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Kennie's Top 10 Yearly Fic Recommendations

Okay so this is the 2nd year of me doing this (but this year I wont delete) butttt I show my top 10 fic and authors for each member/group( some members of bts repeat due to the amount of poly fics I read and its what I mainly read) (A handful of these have smut so heres your warning)

(I would also love to be your guys friends as every single one of you seems absolutely amazing)

LETS GET STARTED

10. @guqwrvte Make it Three (Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung)

Oh where do I start with this fic I found it in the spring looking for a Soulmate fic and oh boy I was in for a ride THREE SOULMATES?! ummm YES and the arcade chapter was ABSOULELY AMAZING! I hope you're doing well Author!! as this fic hasn't been updated in a while

9. @yonkimint Without You (Yoongi with a side of Hoseok or "Jay")

OHHHH BOY When I wanted a love triangle I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED I found this fic in April looking for angst and ANGST I GOT without spoiling it its a Pregnancy/ Single Mom AU and one of the best ones Ive read in a longgggg time

8. @guksthighs Bloom (Yoongi)

OH BOY This is a recent one actually. This one shot was made SIX YEARS AGO?! OMG Hanahaki AUs are one of my favorites angst type of fics so when I read this I literally sobbed like a baby I cant say much else without spoiling it

7. @kimnjss cyberslut (Yoongi), less of you/VINTAGE (Jimin), Strawberry Kisses(Jungkook)

MISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVES SINCE 2019 like when I first read beside you YESS I reread Cyberslut and HAD to include it but reading less of you in June as I was dealing with my own breakup it was a tear jerker towards the end of less of you, for me I wont spoil it but there a plot twist that I was not expecting towards the end of the sequel, Vintage. BUT STRAWBERRY KISSES OH MY GAHD I read that on my way home in August even though its a SMUTTY I enjoyed it a lot and the FLUFF I think some people looked at me crazy when I took the bus home that day

6. @skazoo if you tell me about yourself( Stray Kids' Felix)

Okay here me out! Demon Slayer. Its one of my favorite manga and anime series and with CHANBIN as a hashira UMMM YES ynand chanbin are literally Genya and Sanemi if Genya was a girl and not YK (demon slayer spoiler!!) eating demons, but this 2 parter was ABSOULTELY AMAZING

5. @ugh-yoongi a word from our sponsors (Namjoon)

How do you get a idoit podcasters to not realize they have feelings but read smut YOU GET THESE TWO MFERS This one shot was sooooooo good!! like I read a lot of smut but this? TOP TEIR OF ONESHOTS OF 2023

4. @sopebubbles Bulletproof Heart (2Seok)

THIS ROLLERCOASTER If I had to describe my childhood in fanfictions this one would be one (check #1 for the other) I wont say why because spoilers but this angst was OMG THE YOONGI HATE WAS UNREAL NOT MY YOONGLES but I loved it soooooooo much

3.@jihoonotes Yearning(SVT's Woozi)

Lee Jihoon is literally my ult bias. Do I need to say more? ITS WORTH THE READ

2. @solemnreads Way Back Home(Jungkook)

THIS FIC HAD ME FUCKING EVERYWHERE with the twins to CEO Kook THE JEALOUSLY I LOVE IT by far the best exes to lovers fic I read this year

before I tell yall #1 I wanna give an honorable mention to @purpleyoonn they would be on the main list if I was done reading you complete us BUTTTT RED STRING is amazing even though there only 2 parts so far

Okay Okay this should be expected if you been here for a bit

1.@theharrowing Literally anything they write but mainly Rose Tinted Obsessions and Collateral

Boy Blue and Collateral Taehyungs literally Remained me of In between Taehyung so much that I got inspired to write in between again everything I read from them is Absolutely Amazing, Top Tier just Yes DARK FICS are literally my go to so reading them had me sooooo happy and wanting more

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garoujo · 1 year

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i just wanted to say a huge thank you for not only reaching 20k followers right at the end of the year but also 4 all of the kindness i’ve been shown on this blog ! fank yew 4 letting me have this little corner of the internet as a little safe space ^_^

i wanted to do my own sort of ‘year in review’ i guess so i could kind of throw a spotlight on all of my favourite fics / blogs / artists that have rly added to my time here with everything they do <3 if you’re not included pls don’t take it personally i hav smol brain + also couldn’t involve everyone since theres so many !

WRITING SPOTLIGHT 2022

a small list of all of my favourite pieces of writing i’ve read this year, mostly for my favourite blorbos <3 please read the warnings before proceeding on creators blogs + b4 reading !!!

WHATS TAKING A LIFE OR TWO [IF IT MEANS GETTING TO KEEP YOU] — hanma shuji. ( @hijackser ) this is my absolute FAVOURITE SERIES PERIOD. obviously i’m actually insane 4 hanma but no this series made me EVEN MORE INSANE ! i’ve reread it an insane amount of times, i think about it 24/7. it is my favourite piece of writing to even exist.

SHOW OFF — hanma shuji ( @killsaki ) dallas is probably sick of me talking about this fic but ILL NEVER BE OVER IT ! favourite stand alone shuji fic ever ! everything about it is soooo perfect n so insanely him i could cry <3 absolute favourite shuji fic in the world.

ABSENTEE LOVER — hanma shuji ( @shoyoist ) ive read this an absolutely criminal amount, words cannot DESCRIBE !!! how much i love it like it has such a special place in my heart i adore him in this ! rekha never disappoints w the shuji content <3

CLOUD 9 AND SICK DAY — nagi seishiro ( @iitoshi ) everytime kai writes nagi i absolutely eat it up + these little drabbles are on my mind literally always !!! i will never be able to get enough w how well he’s written here EVER !!!

BLLK BOYS WORKING IN A PIERCING SHOP — multiple. ( @pinteukr ) i literally just read this, specifically nagi’s part but i HAD to include it because i was a MESS !!! ABSOLUTELY DONE !!! it is so good + this imagery / au is EVERYTHING 2 ME <3

PROPOSAL — nagi seishiro ( @tcshi ) i read this a few days ago + it’s still on my mind constantly hes just SO IN CHARACTER ! EVERYTHING IS SOOOO RIGHT !!! would reread one million times after !!! infact i’ll reread right after writing this !!!

WHEN THEY GET JEALOUS — multiple bllk characters ( @lalunanymph ) SO GOOD !!! SO CRAZY !!! nagi’s part had my toes curling n my feet kicking like akajakaka dawn !!!! i literally ate up every character honestly i’d read anything from u <3

SUGARSTREAM — gojo satoru ( @satorhime ) THIS FIC CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY WHOLE EXISTENCE !!! literally thee reason i became like actually unhinged 4 gojo satoru . it changed me down 2 the core it’s TOO GOOD !!! FOR FREE TOOO ????

BLOG SPOTLIGHT 2022

a small list of some of my favourite blogs who are also amazing writers + i recommend with my whole heart ! again i can’t include everyone but just know ily <3 again please read warnings byf !!!

@saetoshis + @goroushis — multifandom [+ genshin writing blog] nsfw + dc !

@getoswhore — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@bbiemilk — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@tetsutits — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@alhaithms — multifandom. nsfw !

@anantaru — genshin impact . nsfw + slight dc !

@blueparadis — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@itoshi-s — blue lock. nsfw + dc !

@ilykento — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@r-oronoa — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@touyyes — mostly jjk but multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@510hz — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@starlitheaven — jjk + hxh. nsfw + dc !

@torufilms — blue lock. sfw + nsfw !

@sailewhoremoon — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@dilu3 — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@shirohyorin — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@saneminx — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@takaholic — multifandom. nsfw + light dc !

@haruchiyos — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@satorini — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@ohsatori — multifandom. sfw + nsfw !

@suget — mostly jjk. nsfw + dc !

@bleubrri — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT 2022

a small list of the artists who i follow + love seeing on my dash ! they’re just so crazy talented it’s insane <3

@tinymaru — reine is the one who drew my emmie x nagi fanart in my header and they are so craaaazy talented <3

@kita-dynasty — laine is SO AMAZING !!! every single time she posts i eat it up i could look at her art all day !!!

@omiishii — i’ve followed jace for YEARS ! and he only gets even better it’s actually insane !!! it’s just so amazing to see their art whenever i’m on dash <3

@omiyours — remi made my theme for me + she is so CRAZY TALENTED i just think she deserves absolutely everything 4 sharing it with people and being so kind <3

if you don’t want 2 be tagged pls let me know + i can take you out but i just wanted 2 do a little round up and also thank everyone 4 all the support they’ve shown me on this lil blog of mine <3 i am so very grateful ! again if i’ve not included u i’m super sorry there were so many !!! I STILL LOVE U I SWEAR !!! yay 2 2022 tho >_<

#໒꒱ ₊˚ — recs !#I TRIED 2 INCLUDE EVERYONE BUT I EAT UP EVERYTHING SERVED 2 ME ILY ALL <3 #if ur not included pls know that i still love u w my whole heart !!! I SWEAR !!!#but fank yew everyone 4 all of the support + you all being super kind #and also 4 letting me scream all over ur dash aboht my 2d bfs how embarrassing 4 me but hello o_o

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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months

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fic rec friday 25

welcome to the twenty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. ladies and gentlemen we are rocking in space by @mayerwien

LANCE do u like the taste of spam, van kieu because thats what ull get 1 glorious terabyte of def-not-garrison-approved viewing matl every hour on d hour

KEITH And now you’re blackmailing me. Wonderful. Look, I’ll tell you, alright? Not because your threat scares me, but because I’d like to cut this conversation as short as humanly possible.

LANCE glad ur being so cooperative ;) ;)

--

Lance gets a new flight simulation partner. Lance makes a bunch of mixtapes. Lance falls in love?

Galaxy Garrison + texting au. For the Klance Zine!

i can confidently say, in my 6+ years of being a klance stan, i have never seen anything like this before or since. this fic is AMAZING. completely new idea, hilarious, sweet, and totally untouchable. i’ve always love testing fics that are done right (bc theyre always funny), and does this one ever knock it out of the park! the dynamics are amazing and the rivalry is EXQUISITE. bonus of vietnamese keith and filipino lance, and this one line (it’s a spoiler so im not going to put it here) that actually knocked me out of the water. its about the CHOICE.

2. But You’ll Peek Through by Barkour

It's weird, the things you get used to when you've been stuck in space for years. How much you miss home. Socializing regularly with only six people. No wifi. Your cranky boyfriend.

this is one of the earliest vld fics ever written, and it has a CROWN idk. this fic makes me feel so many emotions all at once. like i miss u 2016 fic i miss u keith gyeong i miss u bitchy klance i miss u early voltron found family dynamic i miss u old lance’s family headcanons i miss u bamf team. rip to the earliest voltron fandom (also. how did this author know about romelle. in 2016.)

3. Pull Me Closer by @thewriter2

An ancient power dwells in Lance’s very bones. It hums a sweet song of the sea in Lance’s ear, calling him to the water. Keith’s bones are on fire as the very spirit of the flame lives in him. However, it’s these ancient powers that begin to pull them together; that shows them how to properly balance each other out

i SEARCHED for this fic. i made half my followers search with me too. this fic is bamf lance to the fucking max, and its AMAZING. how many of you have wanted waterbender lance so badly you could barely speak? firebender keith? if u said u didnt then ur lying. this fic has literally everything you could ask for in a canon divergence

4. The Homestead by @devooshawrites

Keith is hired for the summer to work on the farm of the McClain family. He and the youngest son of the family become good friends, though Keith might want more.

i am so fucking in love with aus like this. cowboy or farmboy where theyre quietly in love in their own bubble of the world?? i cannot get enough of them. i would read a million of them. this fic in particular is SO soft and tender, it is so so important to me. ive read it so many times. its one of those fics that brings a smile to your face that u literally cannot fight back

5. Prince Charming by @taylortot

Lance thinks that Prince Keith is just another stuck-up royal with an attitude problem until they spend some time together outside of the palace and he discovers that he couldn't have been more wrong.

Written for The First of Forever Zine!

this fic is SO tender it is sickeningly sweet. “rivals” to friends to lovers is so special to me, and no one does it like taylortot fr. love is stored in the tender moments away

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#i am almost out of my most favourite ever vld fics i will have to move to all my other bookmarks in a couple weeks!!#vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #modern au #historical au #bamf lance #vietnamese keith #filipino lance #fic rec #fic rec friday

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iraprince · 1 year

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Hey Ira how do you finish stuff? i've been working on a project for months and i just cant find a way to complete it

see, the thing is my first instinctive response to this question was "idk, because i feel like i never finish anything either!"

i mean, obviously i DO, i finish stuff for work etc and if i really never finished anything then there would be nothing on this blog. but from where i'm standing it feels like the amount of stuff i've actually finished is like, a tiny tiny drop in the massive ocean of stuff i've THOUGHT about or WANT to do or maybe have even STARTED but are all collecting dust on the back burner

i think ive had the idea for project catboy since, like, 2017 or something, and i still only have the first draft outline done; i keep thinking i'm not ready to do it justice yet. i think the villains win has existed for a similar amount of time as a concept and i DID finally start it but i've been too busy/occupied w other things to continue. i've been wanting to open an online shop and sell prints + merch for years now, and have done maybe one or two steps in that direction, but then it keeps stalling and getting lost amidst my other more pressing to-dos

basically: i am always working on projects for months (and years!) and never finding ways to complete them, and any personal project i do end up finishing feels like a huge outlier most of the time

so i don't really have solid advice bc i struggle w it so much myself, but i guess i do have a "hey, you're not alone." just keep banging away at things and eventually some of it will pop through, even if most of it doesn't. if i try really hard to skim over the stuff that DOES get done and find a common thread, it's either 1. i literally Had to (work stuff etc,) or 2. i was EXTREMELY passionate/excited about it, and i had a plan/the scope was visible + digestible (i knew how it was going to end or i was kind of aware of all the parts that needed to come together, rather than just kind of writing/drawing endlessly into the abyss without being able to visualize how much progress i was making). if there's no end in sight, maybe the next best step is getting more specific/granular about what the end would actually look like; a lot of times i find that i THINK i know what a project would need to be done, but in reality it's all just a pretty vague concept in my head, and i never actually sat down and hammered out the steps of what i need to do/make! if you have a fixed endpoint, you can ALWAYS be inching toward it, even if it takes forever.

(also, do it shittier. im being so serious. whenever u get really stuck, do a shitty job just to get onto the next step. if you hit the finish line you can always go back and improve/redo things, but a lot of times you might look back and be like "actually the low effort version is fine, in the big picture")

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thesherrinfordfacility · 4 months

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1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 15, 22, 31, 35, 40, 47, & 48 >:)

dear god woman you're trying to kill me 💀💖

sticking this under a cut sorry bby but it has to be done

idk if its a purposeful collection necessarily - and just more of a style - i have an impressive amount of celestial-body themed earrings. like anything remotely related to stars, moons, suns, planets, and gold? its me im your target audience hun

if im feeling particularly restless, white noise sounds like rain and crackling fires will calm me riiiiight down. fire scents have the same kind of effect - like if eggy (for everyone else, my cat - tax to be paid at end of the ask) comes in and smells like a bonfire, my nose is going Straight into his fur

so many 💀 i don't tend to name them (doing so will only break my heart) but we have an 8ft monstera deliciosa we literally call The Big Boy, and a bonsai tree that we call lazarus because every year i think 'yep thats it he's definitely dead ive definitely killed him' and every year i wait til spring to be sure - and yet sure enough that shrivelly bastard is Still Kickin

nothing has a place in my heart quite like a hot cup of tea, im afraid

not quite a music video, but the metallica playing master of puppets live with the sfso, life changing

ahhh so i had a cat called sol when i was a kid, who was vaguely black and white - and when he died (i was about 6?) my mum got me a black and white cat from the bear factory and ive had it ever since. hes lovingly wrapped up and in a box somewhere, been turfed out and cuddled many a time all the way into adulthood, will never get rid of him 💕

absolutely LOVE a good walk - grew up with moorland on ny doorstep, it wasn't much of an option 😂 don't like urban walking much, so prefer to go find a walking trail or the coastal path - joys of living in the south west!!!💕

i have a pair of really deepset noodle bowls that if i can eat anything out of them, i will do it. they're yellow and glazed, and sooo cute

cat tax as promised:

he's a special lad

ask game!

#ask game!#apologies to anyone's feeds that ive spammed i honestly didnt expect this many 💖🥺

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eldesperadont · 1 year

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now with Jay White having left njpw ….. im mourning all the interesting development for his character that they didnt do. It makes me so tired of njpws „longterm booking“ and how it doesnt really work with their big name gaijins cause nobody stays long enough like an Okada or Naito.

since he joined Bullet Club it’s basically been the same plotpoint on repeat with some characters around him getting changed and replaced, and everytime sth happened that had me hoping for bigger development it just .. was the same again.

And i know im not alone with having wanted more out of Jays character, just look at the fan reaction to his WK loss to Ibushi, how that match and the promo afterwards got people to genuinely care for this pathetic asshole, cause of Jamies amazing performance as a broken insecure fucked up dude. Wishing for a faceturn or literally anything that wasnt the same “oh actually im great and im gonna ignore my issues”-thing again.

Over the last 5 years ive seen so many interesting ideas and speculations fans had about what we were shown on screen, but barely any of it actually led anywhere. (the amount of times they could have done an interesting betrayal with interesting fallout is driving me insane, instead they dragged this storyline forward like a corpse till Jay left)

I know that they needed Jay in that role with BC cause it makes them money, but as someone who enjoys wrestling the most cause of the stories: they are not getting me to pay for their product when i constantly have to hold back my excitement over sth cause the chance of it actually leading somewhere satisfying has been so damn low in the last 2-3 years.

from the top of my head: the last njpw storybeats that stayed with me and had me go „god this is why i watch wrestling“ were

Ibushi vs Despe cause of how perfect it was with their history (and that was on accident!! If hiromu wouldnt have been injured we wouldn’t even have gotten that)

the ELP/Robbie single matches saga

pretty much all of Jays big matches, BUT *read the above paragraphs again*

Hiromu and Desperados first BOSJ Final match cause of everything leading up to it and everything in the match - after that they kinda hit the repeating storybeat problem too

double champ Naito.

But also way too many that led nowhere/had immersion breaking ridiculous outcomes (I’ll never be over how dirty they did Kenta with that stupid US title).

Theres small stuff inbetween that i enjoyed, and theres definitely stuff i missed that i might have loved if i would have seen it, which i didnt cause all my issues with their product led me to stop watching 🙃

anyways: i have a toxic love hate relationship with NJPW and all their characters that i like are my ocs now, i took the kids in the divorce

#(had a version of this in my drafts since January)#this a completely personal opinion #i know the business is complicated and theres sm we dont know that goes into decision making but yeah this is my thoughts as a fan #anyways hoping the best for Jamie he does fantastic work thx for making me care that much #percht.txt #wrestling thoughts tm #njpw #jay white

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birthclod · 8 months

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top 5 of ur favorite oc/canon pairings (optional: + why if u wanna gush about them)

for legal reasons this is in no particular order.

crabmona

I JUST. THINK THEY'RE NEAT. they're both arospec and they both have biomed/veterinary medicine degrees and they work together and they get the other person down to the smallest detail and they're the Only Goddamn Person The Other One Can Stand. shit's great.

2. jet and ammy

they've got good banter honestly. also both of them grew up in bad home lives in america and the whole "being turned into a cyborg against your will" thing is bound to give them a few things in common. they just Get each other you know?

3. tabbybob / tabbygraham

i can't choose between either of my more prominent tabby ships because they're both really good. tabby and bob came first and i can see them being more domestic in the future and they personally click more for me. they also have actual conflict in their arc bc of, certain events in electricopolis. also their names together can be cats puns. tabby and graham is also a really good fit because they're both musicians and they both have the same things (and fears) in mind. also, i paid $130+ for a tabbygraham commission and it's one of the best things i ever spent money on so that's worth something

4. takumezuru

these people are in their 30s. they are depressed and self-destructive and they have some solid trauma they never really got past. takuto takes it too far and after he's stopped he starts over. eventually umezuru decides to turn her life around too and get her shit together. they're both recovering one day at a time and that brings them closer. also takuto thinks umezuru is hilarious.

5. pop and dollie

this is like if when harry met sally was between two people who worked for the mafia together and eventually broke away from said mafia. they'd only see each other every so often. it took them literal YEARS to confess to each other and they've never been separate from each other since. partners in romance and crime.

honorable mention: kurtis and madar, because i love their dynamic a lot but ive never done anything with them really except for rp with friends as either of them more than any other tupper i have. also because disgaea does not interest me beyond kurtis and that makes it harder to get material for them. irene and cottonmouth, because toxic problematic outlaws my beloved. they're awful people and they're the best. megido and mary, because meggy is still fresh on my mind and i love him having a little shit as a girlfriend. and marinoch, because i REALLY love their aesthetic as a steampunk engineer man and gothic woodcarver/dollmaker woman who are both unsettling but together thoroughly harmless. also jigi and natsume bc same universe and jigi is peak supportive girlfriend of her eccentric anxiety-ridden lover

and honorable honorable mention to the newest addition to the group, mothman and mon— /shot

#talk to the cookie #ask meme #mutuals tag #strike-9 #thank you for giving me a reason to spew about my oc/canons #there is So many

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forestryfae · 4 months

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man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen

i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.

i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.

i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.

so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.

the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.

plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.

and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.

like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf

#talkies

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skepticoyote · 6 months

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Almost died, now what?

Last week (Saturday October 14) my partner and I flew to Toronto to spend a few days with his parents. They rented a nice AirBnB and we had a whole week of fun activities planned (mostly museums because we are boring people). We were really excited since neither of us have traveled since before Covid and it had been literally years since we had seen his family.

The morning of our trip I was feeling a little nauseous and threw up, but passed it off as travel nerves. Something you need to understand about me is that I have struggled with stomach issues for the better part of a decade. I will have these seemingly random bouts of extreme nausea and vomiting anywhere between 3 weeks and 3 months apart, usually lasting about 2 - 4 days. During these attacks I am usually unable to eat anything and can barely keep water down. Weed helps, but obviously it isn't ideal.

So, we caught our flight & landed in Toronto, met with my inlaws & settled in at the AirBnB. Around 3PM I started to feel kinda queasy so I took a quick nap, then we all went out to grab some dinner. As we walked around I started feeling worse and worse, until finally at around 7 I had to run to a restroom at goddamned Loblaws. Did the deed, cleaned myself up, went on my way, still feeling weak and gross. We picked up some Gravol and I headed to bed, hoping that by the next morning I would be back to normal.

Oh hell no.

What followed was nearly 30 hours of vomiting. I couldn't even keep water down and nothing I did helped. There were a couple of points where I was halfway asleep on the bathroom floor, just because I didn't want to keep getting out of bed. It was nice and cool, and close to the toilet.

Sometime the next day MIL - a retired nurse - insisted on taking me to the ER. Off I went to Toronto Western in a cab with my partner and my little metal barf-bowl. At this point I was so loopy that I can't even remember what time of day it was. Everything kinda runs together so I'm sorry if this confusing to read.

Triage saw me pretty much right away and immediately the nurse was concerned. I was grey, one of my eyelids was drooping, and I absolutely reeked of ketones.

Too tired to explain ketones, ketoacidosis or the Krebs cycle so click here if you need to: KETONES

They drew some blood and I waited for the results. I expected them to just hook me up to a banana bag, some strong antiemetics and send me on my way... nope. I was admitted and sent immediately to the ICU and diagnosed with metabolic acidosis. My blood was literally too acidic and was killing me.

The first night is a blur. I remember a CT scan and a shitload of bloodwork. Luckily they were able to get my ketones down, but they were still too high. For example, a healthy persons ketone levels should be lower than 0.5 mmol/L. At admission mine was at a 4.0, and later that night tested again at 8.0. That's 16 times the normal healthy level.

The doctors were baffled. Basically (lol pH humor), it was like I had the blood of a profoundly diabetic person... but my blood sugars were perfect. At one point they were asking if I might have ingested wood alcohol or antifreeze. They asked if someone may have spiked my drink. To quote the main doc, I did not look like my bloodwork. I had poison in my blood and no one knew why.

More bloodwork, more tests... at one point I had an IV in each arm. A second CT was done. They were looking for anything that could cause this and there was just nothing there. As far as the CTs show, all of my internal organs appear normal (although I have a teensy cyst in my liver apparently) and with persistant medicine over the course of 2 days they were able to get me eating and drinking again. My ketones eventually seemed to level off but they were still high EVEN THOUGH I WAS FEELING FINE. No clue what would cause my ketones to jump like that. It could have been caused by the vomiting, but nowhere near that high... and even then, we still don't know what's causing the vomiting. They discharged me late Thursday night with strict instructions to speak with my family doctor when I flew home on Friday to immediately get my blood drawn again to monitor my ketone levels. They sent me home with a packet of paperwork... all my test results, all the comments and notes from the medical team at Toronto Western.

I won't get into the frustrations of Friday... we had to fly home at 6:00am after being discharged at 11:00pm the night before, and then begin the torturous process of getting my bloodwork done at home. It was a headache and wound up taking another 9 hours of waiting between the two hospitals in my city. Finally, late on Friday I was able to get my blood drawn and my results... my ketones were still way, way too high at 4.0. Again. For no reason. And yet another team of doctors left baffled by my issues.

The doctors at the Regional told me that I am to come straight back to the ER if I have even a hint of nausea or dizzyness. If I don't, I could just... die, I guess? I'm going to need to have biweekly bloodwork to monitor my ketone levels until they figure out what is causing this. I've also go an emergency referral to an endocrinologist and internal medicine doctor here in town.

Since I've been home I haven't been sick at all, although I'm still weak from the whole thing. There was a 50% chance I could have died that night at the hospital, and it was very likely that if I hadn't gone to Western when I did, I would have been dead the next morning. It was honestly a miracle that I didn't end up on dialysis.

So I've been taking it easy, forcing myself to eat every few hours to try and keep my ketones low. And it's been hard. Wednesday I have an appointment with my family doctor and to say that I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm terrified that he's going to play this off as nothing, or that I'm looking for drugs... because that's what he does. He doesn't listen. But I have my goddamn novel of test results and doctors' notes from Toronto AND the Regional here in town, and I'm ready to slap him with it if I need to. I need him to get me in to a GI doc ASAP, and not one who just tells me to stop smoking weed or test me for parasites. I'm not shitting in any more buckets, I swear to fuck.

Anyway. That's where I'm at. I'm not dead but I almost was and it really sucked and I don't recommend getting metabolic acidosis.

#personal #medical #serious

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