Tumgik
#literally Every Day next week i have smth due i want to die
yuugami-tan · 3 years
Text
finals week is next week i'm READY
1 note · View note
dreadpoetssociety · 3 years
Text
Her Over Me
TW: death, verbal fighting
Request:  Maybe can you do a Spence x teen! Daughter where Spencer’s new girlfriend is a total ass to y/n and despite her efforts to convince Spencer that she’s extremely harsh, Spencer brushes her off and ignores her until she finally snaps and gets enough of his ignorance, lashing out on him unexpectedly for caring so much for his girlfriend instead of his daughter and she just runs to Garcia’s or JJ’s or smth and spencer finally realizes the truth when his gf asks where the annoying ‘brat’ is? Thank u!
Note: Okay, hopefully this is alright HAH I’ve never written one with Spencer being a dad before, but this was fun. Thank you for the request!!
Pairings: 
Spencer Reid x Girlfriend 
Spencer Reid x Daughter!Reader
()()()()()()
You never liked your fathers new girlfriend. You weren’t sure what he saw in her, or how he didn’t notice the pure evil that bubbled inside the woman’s veins, considering he was a profiler and a genius and all that. He should’ve noticed her behavior a long time ago. 
But alas, he didn’t. As the saying goes, love is blind. You’d tried to bring it up a few times, only to be brushed off, and gave up once you understood he was never going to believe you. The woman was nice to you in front of him, but became someone else when he was gone. You were convinced that if he wasn’t so head over heels for her, he probably would’ve noticed. It was so out of character for him not to, but for a while you didn’t want to ruin his happiness. He hadn’t been interested in anyone since your mom passed away, and even though he pretended to be happy, you had the genetics of a profiler, and just knew he hadn’t been for so long. Not completely, anyway. 
When she came home, your mood changed, as though you were putting an extra wall up.
“Y/N, get over here and take these bags. I won’t wait.” she said.
“Alright.” you for the most part just tried to be compliant. You didn’t want any issues, or even worse, punishment, which had happened more than once now due to her incredible lying of ‘Y/N said this, Y/N said that, I think it’s because she doesn’t like me’ blah blah blah. She knew which buttons to push. 
“Hurry it up, I have things to do.” she said angrily. You picked up the grocery bags and placed them on the island in the kitchen area. As you did, though, a glass salsa jar fell out and onto the floor, cracking into two pieces. You quickly started picking up the pieces and frantically tried to clean it.
“My God, Y/N! I just bought that! You can’t get anything right, can you? I don’t even understand why Spencer doesn’t just put you up for god damn adoption, you’re such a pain to be around. You owe me three dollars and fifty cents for that, and gas money to go back to the store.” she yelled, “For God sake, if I was your mom, I’d die, too.”
You stopped. You turned so quickly that it would’ve given someone whiplash. This was it. This was the last straw. All those times of her calling you a burden, of her blaming everything on you, trying to get rid of you in any way she could. She doesn’t belong in this family. She’s an outsider. What right does she have mentioning your mother. It hit too close to home, especially since you beat yourself up every day over feeling guilty of your mother’s death, and missing her more than words could even describe. It was your breaking point. 
“You know what, Catherine,”
“Catrina” she interrupted.
“Catherine!” you screamed, “You vile, stupid excuse of a woman. Keep my mother out of your slimy, filthy mouth. You don’t have a place in this house.” 
“Excuse me? How dare you tell me what to do, you stupid brat! I’ll tell Spencer about how awful you are, and maybe he’ll punish you again.”
“Honestly Caitlin, I don’t give a god damn. Put your own groceries away. In fact-“ you turned around and dropped all the glass piece back to the floor, “you can clean them the hell up, too.” the two of you broke out in a screaming match then, throwing insults back and forth at the top of your lungs. 
Eventually, Spencer walked in at some point. You didn’t notice, but Catrina did. Her tone had changed, and she as calmer, and anomy somewhat nicer while you absolutely destroyed her.
“Y/N!” he yelled. You turned around. You’d never heard him yell at you like that before.
“Dad! I swear to you. She is literally so harsh. She treats me like trash! And you just let her! She brought up mo-“
“Really? Because I’m pretty sure it’s you who’s screaming at her. I know you’re upset because you miss your mom, but you can’t throw tantrums like this anymore, Y/N.”
You stopped. Anymore? Tantrums? You had et your father’s girlfriend walk all over you this whole time. All those times she got you in trouble she’d bent the truth dramatically. You hadn’t even yelled at her once until now. 
“You’re really going to believe her over your own kid, aren’t you?” you shook your head, “You know what, that’s cool. Do what you want. I’ll do what Cathy has wanted me to do the whole time and see myself out. You know, for some alleged genius and incredible profiler, you’re too easily manipulated. Have fun on date night.” 
“Y/N, get back here!”
But it was too late. You’d snatched the keys, walked out and slammed the door. Your eyes were blurry as the apartment elevator closed before Spencer could get to you, and you made your way down to the garage. 
You got in the car and just drove. You weren’t sure where your body was taking you, but it was just on autopilot, and you eventually ended up at JJ’s, a coworker of your father’s.
You rang the bell, practically about to pass out from crying so much. JJ answered the door pretty quickly, and her face dropped with incredible amounts of concern that you could almost feel it.
“Y/N, oh my God, what’s going on?” 
“Spen- and- a- an-“ you couldn’t even speak. You’d put up with this witch for so long for him, and you were his kid, and he just believed her so easily.
“Okay, hey, hey wait. Come inside, you have to sit down, okay?” JJ helped you in to her living room. The house was seemingly empty, so you assumed Will must’ve taken the kids somewhere. For a few minutes you just cried on her couch while she sat next to you trying to comfort you. Eventually calming down, you began to explain everything from the beginning. The disgusted looks, the insults, the lying, the this, the that, just everything. 
“Y/N, I’m so sorry, that’s terrible.” JJ said, “Spence really hasn’t said anything about it?”
“No! Literally nothing! He doesn’t even think it’s happening. He doesn’t find it suspicious at all it’s so weird. He gives a damn so much about her that he’ll just like, see past it.” you replied.
“That’s so unlike him.” she said, “Do you want me to talk to him?” 
You shook your head, “It’s just cause more problems with his dumb girlfriend. I don’t even care that he has a girlfriend! He thinks that I hate her because I miss my mom, but I hate her because she’s so mean to me all the time when he isn’t around. The only reason I lost it today was because she brought up my mom.”
“Is that why you got angry at her? What’d she say?” 
“She literally said that if she were my mom, she’d die, too. Like firstly, who says that? What kind of insult is that? Secondly, who would bring up someone’s literal dead mother in any situation, let alone over a stupid jar?” you asked. JJ shrugged, not knowing what to say. You both talked for a few more hours after that, ignoring every attempt Spencer had tried to call you.
“Y/N, you’re genuinely welcome here any time if you need to get away from that.” she said.
“Thanks, JJ, I honestly might take you up on that.” you smiled. You said your goodbyes and made your way home.
When you walked through the front door of your apartment, you saw the two of them sitting on the couch together. Spencer looked at you, you looked back and just walked into your room as though life was normal. That’s all you could do for now. For the following few days, you spent most of your time at JJ’s. Penelope was there too, every once in a while, and once you told her the story, she almost went to straighten Spencer out herself. Garcia wasn’t the type to get angry, but when she was, it was like the day had just suddenly turned to night it was so dark. But, you convinced her out of it, saying you’d deal with it somehow and that you didn’t want anyone else involved.
Spencer had been waiting for his girlfriend to go out when you mysteriously disappeared for the millionth time this week. She walked in a black body con dress, and her beauty almost mesmerized him.
“Hey,” she smiled. She quickly looked around as her and Spencer got closer, “where’s that annoying little brat?” 
And that’s when it finally clicked for him. All of those behaviors he’d picked up on, the way she looked at the top of his head when talking about how you had done something, the way her voice seemed to fluctuate, even just the way she walked around the house. It was almost like a snap back to reality for him, and he regretted ignoring it before. He knew now that you were telling the truth this whole time, and that he’d just looked over you.
“Get out.” he said.
“Spence, what?”
“That’s Dr. Reid for you. Get out of my house. You lied this whole time about Y/N.” his voice was raising, which she’d never seen happen before.
“What? Spence- no, let’s talk this out, you don’t understand!”
“You’re right, I don’t understand. How can I understand someone who treats my kid like nothing and lies about her for no reason? I can understand what you get out of it, a power trip, maybe. Maybe it stems from how you were raised as a child, since you said your mother did the same to you and now you’re doing it unto someone else. So most likely she’s just a surrogate to represent your younger self, correct? You’ve got the same hair color and eye color, so it actually adds up.” he rambled off angrily, but he stopped quickly, “Get out. Take your crap with you. Don’t call me again, we’re done.” 
He slammed the door behind her.
When Spencer showed up to JJ’s house, you, Garcia, and JJ fell silent.
“Y/N, can we talk privately?” he asked. Looking at the two other women, they nodded their heads and gestured for you to go. You both walked out to Spencer’s car, getting in, and starting for a drive.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry, you were right this whole time.”
“Yeah, I know.” you retorted. He sighed.
“Genuinely, Y/N. Catrina’s gone I kicked her out. I should’ve seen who she really was from the beginning. I noticed all the signs and just went anyway. More importantly I should’ve listened to you.” 
You stayed silent. What were you supposed to do in a situation like this? You were still mad at him, but wanted to forgive him.
“I’m genuinely sorry.”
“I’ll forgive you eventually, but I’m pissed about it for now.” you stated.
“Which completely makes sense, you have every right to be.”
“Something that might help your case would be a nice trip to the mall, you know. . . “ you smirked. He laughed. The two of you drove around for about an hour and a half talking things out, and the day ended with you, Spencer, Garcia, and JJ all going out together. Of course, not before Garcia and JJ almost killed him, but once it was somewhat settled, the four of you had a good time, especially with you having the satisfaction of knowing that Catrina was literally kicked out of your house. 
231 notes · View notes
alo-piss-trancy · 4 years
Text
SD/R2 OMO HEADCANONS (Pt1)
Decided it was probably time for me to post a list of my omo hcs for this game since I did the THH chars! Like with the other list, I'll be excluding a couple I have no interest in thinking of omo content of (in this case, Hiy/oko and Teru/teru). I'm breaking this one into multiple posts throughout the week as I compile my thoughts (I'll add a link to all of them on the fic masterlist page later so you can find them all) because I feel this is gonna be a lot longer than my THH post haha!
Here we go, the first 3 (or 4) chars! Please stop reading now if you don't want spoilers for the game bc there will be several!!!
~~~
Gun/dham:
* I firmly hc him as vegetarian (not vegan. He will consume byproducts like milk/cheese/eggs/etc, but only harvested himself or from small farms/sources that he has personally vetted/researched where he knows 100% that the creatures are treated ethically.)
* That's actually not omo-related besides milk oops but it relates to my next point, which is that for the most part he prefers Natural food/drink. Water, fruit or vegetable juices/smoothies, etc. He's not really used to strange 'Human' confections like soda or coffee, so the caffeine and diuretics hit him hard and fast and make it difficult for him to estimate how much time he has. It also makes him jittery/hyped as hell which Does Not Help.
* As long as he isn't screwed over by caffeine or a ton of drinks, he has a decently strong bladder and can hold for a long time. He has a lot of practice from hiding/waiting to help certain animals, laying trapped under sleeping cats/dogs, etc. And also avoiding public restrooms like the Plagues they are for most of the day...
* He's bladdershy AF and has been since early childhood. I saw he had signs drawn on the doors/curtain in his room during my playthrough (including the bathroom) and that is definitely his safezone. Can't go outside either bc 1. He's paranoid he'll be seen by other ppl and 2. That feels disrespectful to the nature deities despite the logic that animals do it all the time. He knows that's dumb and he hates himself for it.
* Sometimes I do like to ignore the bladdershy hc just for some variety. Even in that case tho he'd still be a bit of a diva about which public bathrooms he uses. If it's gross or weird he's gonna avoid it/complain/refuse to go even if bursting. He's stubborn af
* We all know he canonically goes commando. Therefore he is in extra danger because any leaks will go straight to his pants RIP Since he usually wears black it isn't that visable (as long as it's just a bit and not a full wetting), but if he ever has to wear smth else u know he's screwed c':
* He's not very vocal when desperate at all. Mostly strangled whines or grunts (only when alone or if so urgent he can't hide it), he's just so easily embarrassed that he can choke most sound.
* He can also hide his body language pretty well. He can manage to keep himself to rigid posture and the occasional shudder or fidget if needed. Only when he's beyond caught and about to wet will he resort to obvious grabs or dances in front of others.
* Even if he wet he wouldn't cry (I don't seem him crying much for anything tbh, barring extreme things like death). He's angry at himself and extremely ashamed. He would get red as a tomato, attempt to slink away and avoid any witnesses for several days. Could get snippy or hide in his shell all pitiful, depending on the person.
* When alone or sure he can't be caught, he'll fidget more once things are dire. Mostly his long-ass legs. Jiggling, crossing, bending at the knees or bouncing up and down, shuffling from foot-to-foot, everything. He doesn't really do much with his hands beyond a quick crotch-squeeze.
* He'd def let Haj/ime or So/nia dom tf out of him as far as making him hold/lose control, he's submissive and enjoys the challenging test of limits. However, I could also see him totally having a thing for 'marking' his partners during the times he doms.
So/nia:
* Lowkey has a bladder of steel tbh, tho you'd never expect it by looking at her. It takes a lot to get her desperate and even more for her to crack enough to show her needs to others.
* She had a lot of long lectures/lessons, meetings, social events, formal balls, etc. growing up, so she just got used to waiting a lot between breaks so as not to interrupt or be rude to her guests. This also makes her wicked good at remaining completely calm on the outside and keeping the quiver out of her tone even when she's absolutely dying.
* Even once people know her problem, she would NEVER grab herself or dance. Literally the most you'll get out of her is legs crossed at the ankles. For the most part the only sign of her desperation is the slight fullbody shivering where she has her muscles and posture strained. If you're very lucky she may wince or her voice will start shaking/get breathy (her breathing gets super fast and shallow when at her absolute limit. Like nearly hyperventilating fast).
* While not shy at all about asking/telling others where she's going, she was raised with manners. She refuses to interrupt while others are busy, and will wait until she feels the time is appropriate to but into convos or leave the room, even if that could take a long time. She will not skip out on a group task if she can help it bc she feels very strongly about doing her part and not coming off as a slacker (so group investigations/new island exploring/building for Us/ami in Island Mode are all LONG tasks she will force herself to stick out without complaint, even if she's about to wet herself).
* Despite being a princess, she definitely doesn't view anything as being 'beneath' her. If someone asks her to just go outside/in a sketchy place/strange receptacle, she'll do it without question as soon as they agree to glance away. In fact, sometimes it's actually a little thrilling.
* If she did wet herself she would certainly be embarrassed, maybe even teary-eyed depending on the situation/who was around. However, it certainly isn't the end of the world for her, and she would be able to brush it off fairly easily once she got cleaned up and had a chance to breathe. Could probably start making jokes about it by the next day, or just wait patiently for everyone to forget about it.
* Probably has a big piss kink (for others. She isn't much on doing holds herself, minus an occasional 'Damsel in Distress' type roleplay). And honestly just a big one for domming others (sometimes sweetly, sometimes cold/cruel like True Royalty). She looks cute but She Nasty (tm). Gun/dham and Haji/me (to a lesser extent, bc his smart-ass take-no-shit attitude makes him a bit of a brat sometimes lol) are her bitches.
M/ikan (I have to split hers in two bc I have polar opposite hcs) :
Non-Despair M/ikan -
* Is every bit as shy uwu ohnoooo~ as you'd imagine. Super blushy and fidgety and teary-eyed but never admits what's wrong even once it's obvious, to the point of potty-dancing in place (but she's Totally Fine she can hang in there and doesn't need to stop what she's doing)! You literally have to drag her away to the bathroom if u don't want her to have an accident. Would rather die than inconvenience anyone by telling them she has to go, will berate herself for the inconvenience when that backfires and she's made a mess of herself, 120% convinced everyone hates her and p much refuses any comfort bc she's so trapped in the spiral. Bawls her eyes out.
* If on a rare occasion she does work up the nerve to speak up and is denied, that's it. She will not dare ask again even if the person didn't realize how badly she had to go. Nope. Clearly her only option is to hold it until she can't anymore, or until she's alone and can run off by herself.
*Also she totally would whimper to herself in The Worst omo video star voice lmao "Oh noooo I'm leaking into my panties~, it's cOmIng OuTtttt~ uwu uwu uwu" (i'm not making fun of those istg but u know Exactly what 'sexy baby' voice I mean. That is Mi/kan. Don't be so fake bitch We Know u didn't fall spread eagle naturally)
* Says 'Potty' unironically. It's the only word she uses for the bathroom.
* Surprisingly not bladdershy at all. She's actually the opposite. Will go Anywhere (but will be embarrassed while doing it).
* She's used to holding a lot bc afraid to leave class/stuck helping patients for hours on end. However while she has a wicked high capacity and stays very hydrated, she has pretty shaky control. Leaks A LOT, be it in general or bc she gets startled/nervous. She's like a chihuahua lmao. She wears medical liners when on duty as a nurse or during school, but for general hangouts she forgoes them (totally bc she forgot and Not bc she wanted to show her wet panties off to strangers/peers when she falls again, that would be Slu/tty and Improper).
* Once held for ages and then ended up wetting herself just bc Hiy/oko told her to. It wasn't actually a request, just a one-off snippy comment that H forgot about like 10 min after she said it and walked away. When she found out Mi/kan took it seriously she absolutely lost it laughing for the next few days
*Her potty dances include lots of thighs rubbing together/hunching over, hands wandering dangerously close only to pause and grip her skirt/dress hem, hopping from leg to leg and shaking at the knees. She's pitiful when desperate and very cute. Pants and whimpers near constantly, nibbles at her knuckles to try and muffle it.
* Knows when she's at risk of actual damage from holding, but it's still a 50/50 shot of whether she'll break down and go or keep trying to hold. She knows it's unwise, but due to her complete lack of self worth she doesn't really care if her own body is damaged.
* That said, she monitors everyone else very closely and will harass them firmly to take breaks if they're at risk.
Despair/True Mik/an -
* MASSIVE PISS KI/NK. Loves to be dommed/told to hold until she wets. LOVES to do the same to others and tell them all the mean things for a change. She will borderline Break You.
* Takes great satisfaction in watching others struggle. If given an opportunity to make others desperate/prevent them from getting to a bathroom without revealing herself, she will definitely take it. She has no sympathy.
* The Queen of lacing things with diuretics, but can also often find that boring/too easy. A bit disdainful of that method tbh.
* Tying ppl down to hold or hooking them to IVs and 'misplacing' the call button is more her style.
* Used to hold for Jun/ko a lot to appease her. Would be willing to hold for Na/gito, but tbh he's just as willing to hold for her so it's a bit of a stalemate and they've yet to work out who does what.
* Will piss on her victim/lover while staring them directly in the eyes. Does not flinch. She toes the line between sexy and just plain creepy lol
3 notes · View notes
teachers-are-nerds · 6 years
Text
why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic
theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics
i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it
why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home
what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol
i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive
well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk
im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.
i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement
god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit
and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore
i hate that im a whore in general
like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year
the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today
everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e
oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end
idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever
idk
idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol
what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry
yells
9 notes · View notes