#listening to why are dads is fun but even that takes some effort. im definitely more excited about the ones about movies i at least know of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shyrose57 · 3 years

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Brothers anon, sorry its been like 2 days since I last submitted something! I've been busy and whenever I finally had time to sit down and write this all its like 1 in the morning. I hope its still ok for me to send these.

🌹 anon ima respond to you first, your The Deal au could be the reason why and how Ranboos and Dreams soul got mixed and linked together. But then a problem is how did it pass to Ranbob? In my au, each person has their own soul basically. And while certain attributes like DNA can be passed through bloodlines, souls can't, as their unique to their person.

What left Ranbob vulnerable to Dream is that he was seen as the star student. The apprentice everyone wanted. He always got perfect grades and was seen as the smartest in the City. This did not go well. As Ranbob was put under a ton of pressure to always stay perfect and get everything right. When his grades started to slip and his chosen mentor started to put even more work on him, his mentality started to suffer. With him losing sleep and starting to not care for himself or do the basic necessities like eating or drinking, all in an effort to be "perfect". Its through this need, and weakened state over all, Dream's presence was able to slip in and convince him to let him help.

Benjamin is 30, Isaac 29, Cletus is 24, and Charles is 27.

When Ranbob first told Ran about the Dream mask and how he wasnt himself, Ran did not believe him at all. And kept saying that he needs to stop lying and fess up to what he did and pay for it. Others tried to convince him that his brother really wasn't in control of himself, but was met with strong skepticism, scoffs, and disbelief. With Ran not beliving that was the truth at all.

Watson was very shocked but quickly reorganized himself cause he had to calm Jackie, and its only after Jackie fell asleep he was like "Oh fuck. I really am the dad huh?" Jackie was embarrassed at first but after some prodding did say how he truly saw Watson as a dad figure in his life. And everyone had different reactions to Watson suddenly accepting and fitting into the dad role. Jackie was excited and immediately started calling him dad and asking him awkward dad questions "Dad whats puberty?" "Uhhh-" "Dad where do babies come from?" "Ask your dad about that!" "But you are my dad!" Ran seemed indifferent about it but Watson can tell he's revealed to have someone to talk too, and someone to go to if things get to much. Grievous keeps sating he doesn't need a dad but he's the one that goes to Watson the most for things like hugs, comfort, and advice.

Jackie and Grievous do everything. They rig the battle field so if someone steps in a certain area water will shoot up into their face, Grievous usually taunts and distracts opponents so Jackie can sneak up behind them and just latch onto them and cover their eyes while giggling like a madman as the opponent screams and runs around trying to get him off. Jackie regularly pulls peoples seat out from under them, while Grievous scares them and makes them choke or drop something. But they do know peoples limits. Like for Ran, no water related pranks (there was an incident where Grievous spilled a whole bucket of water on him and Ran got severe burns and had to stay in the hospital ward for a few days), for Watson don't mess with his bow or arrows, he will stab you. And for eachother, Jackie, no pranks that leave him alone for extended periods of time or makes it seems like everyone is gone/left. For Grievous no pranks centered around food or drinks (like putting toothpaste in his sandwich or putting pepper in his beer).

Ran and Jackie have a 50/50 win if that makes sense. They both win and lose pretty often. They play games like Spoons, Go Fish, Dart Throwing (Watson needs to be present for this one), something similar to Cards Against Humanity, Poker (everyone plays during this one), and Tic Tac Toe.

Sometimes Jackie loves being the smallest and other times hates it. He hates it when Ran steals something of his and holds it above his head, he sometimes resorts to aggressively climbing Ran to get it but Ran tends to just pluck him off, and people make fun of him in a mean natured way (he's fine with light teasing). But he loves it when he rides Ran's shoulders or can duck under peoples legs and trip em. Because he's also small and fast he's hard to catch and that definitely comes in handy during fights. No ones particularly protective of eachother (excluding Ran who's protective of everyone), because they know none of them like being babied and they can all hold their own, though they will quickly flock to help eachother if they need it. Ran definitely flaunts it whenever their in a agurement.

There is a area under the fighting arena of the pit where they stay. Theres separate rooms for everyone, training areas, dinning areas, and just chilling areas. Theres even extra rooms meant for often visiting friends (Like Genevieve) and some for storage of weapons which also holds things to sharpen them or get new ones. The Pit itself is in the middle of a gaint city, so there are tons of stores and food areas around. And because of a high salary the King gives them they go out quite often, often eating out and browsing stores when their not training or sleeping.

If by other combinations you mean like Ran-Jackie, Ran-Grievous, Watson-Jackie, and Watson-Grievous then it highly varies. Watson and Jackie are by far the worst team, their styles just don't match and constantly but heads during battles. Watson and Grievous are probably the best out of the 4 teams because Grievous can be serious and works well with Watson as he's much more willing to change his fighting style to accommodate whats needed. Ran and Jackie are like Jackie and Grievous, but they aren't nearly as insane. Rather Ran provides distractions while fighting to give Jackie time to sneak up behind them. Ran also is the only one able to actually throw Jackie, which they sometimes do during battles. And Ran and Grievous work well together, but not as much as Watson and Grievous, its just a few things of both their styles don't match or could potentially cause problems.

He's clumsy flat out, he isn't used to having full control and needs to get used to certain things like walking or talking again. He is also severely dehydrated and malnutritished because Dream didn't care enough to drink or eat. He's also incredibly skittish and scared easily. He and Cletus's relationship isn't solved fast at all, it takes months and the work of everyone to get the two comfortable around eachother. They start by putting Cletus on watching duty, where he watches over Ranbob to make sure he's eating and drinking and resting while not tiring himself out. Then after a month or 2 Isaac, Benjamin, and Charles start purposely leaving the two in a room alone toghere to get them to talk stuff out. It takes 3 months until their comfortable enough with eachother to willingly talk and hang out. Oh the house building attempts went aboustely awful. They sometimes fell on Ranbob! And when they didn't they just collapsed or got blown away by the wind, but Isaac did ofter help a few times and showed him multiple different ways to make sure the walls stay up and keep the cold out.

Ran is very unhappy with Ranbobs haunting, he thinks their kind of like Ranbob in which they've all killed people and considers them a threat at first, but when he sees how his haunting likes and interacts with Ranbob's, he losens up a bit, his group trusts them, so he has to trust them a little bit. But he doesn't trust them or like them nearly as much as he trusts and likes his haunting.

Im guessing you mean who from the two groups get along the easiest. Most of them take a while to get to know eachother, like a few hours. But after that their all really close. Charles and Jackie, Cletus and Grievous, and Benjamin, Isaac, and Watson are the groups that get along really well really fast.

Im honestly probably am going to go for them adventuring outside the City to try to get the brothers to get along again. Mostly cause I thought of the idea that what if Watson, Jackie, and Grievous all lie to Ran, and while they are actually going on an adventure, they lie to him that his brother and his group isn't coming. Then when its much to late for Ran to back out, Watson just goes "Oh yeah! Your brother and his group are traveling with us. And you can't do anything about it." And Ran just sits there shocked.

Ran and Ranbob are both subtle protective of their group. With Ranbob never really getting aggressive or going into overbearing. But for Ran, if someone in his group is injured badly enough or if there's a big enough threat he does get overbearing and extremely aggressive towards whatever/whoever the threat is *cough cough Ranbob cough*. Ranbob tends to be very physical, listening more to a certain instincts that tell him to constantly have a view on or hold his family, as if he doesnt see or touch them for a long time he gets very anxious and panicky, thinking his family is dead and that he's all alone again. His group understands this and so tends to not stray to far away from Ranbob. He will also follow his group like a lost puppy at times. Ran while listens more to the instinct that tells him at random times to make sure his family is ok and to bond with them. The bonding leads to him randomly grabbing them and just sitting down with them, most likely playing games. While the random urge to check on them has led to him waking them up during the middle of the night or interrupting his own conversation or others conversations just to ask if their ok. His took a while to understand why he does it, but now if he wakes them up or drags them somewhere, they know to go along with it and comfort him during those times.

Hybrids are rare! Especially aggressive or netural type mobs like Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius are. Their actually seen as monsters and are chased out or hunted in other city's because people aren't accepting of them. Theres very few city's like Subbin that fully welcome and are even led by hybrids. So there are more hybrids in Subbin, than there is anywhere else.

Sorry this is so long ':)

Asks are always welcome here, and don’t worry about taking a bit or anything. The questions aren’t going anywhere, there’s plenty of time.

Here’s that for you,🌹anon.

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1: Wow, Ranbob’s really going through it, huh? Does he ever start to fall back on that need to be ‘perfect’ while with the others? If so, how do they deal with that? And how is he with others offering to help him? If he even can really recall falling under Dream’s thrall, by accepting such an offer, how does he react to others doing the same, even if their intentions are far different?

2: So we’ve settled all the ages down, nice. You figure out anything for their backstory yet? And how do their ages affect their relationships with one another? Does Benjamin take the lead a lot? Or is he more of a follower that still has a lot of say? Who met who first?

3: So Ran’s obviously going to be awhile before he believes what went down. Still, I can’t imagine he’d have been as willing to go along with his hauntings little roadtrip plan if he wasn’t swayed at least a bit, since I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have put his foot down if he truly though Ranbob had done what he did. Why exactly does he go along with it? Does some small part of him want to give his brother a chance? Is he just confident he can overpower him, and looking for an opportunity to settle the score? Does he see something that makes him hope a bit? What’s going down there, anon?

4: On one hand, very adorable. One the other hand, poor Watson. Does Jackie actually not know that stuff, or does he do that just to mess with his new father figure? It seems like they all take to it pretty well overall though.

5: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Two people to truly fear. How many people straight up forfeit when faced with this combination? It seems like they’ve had some interesting times, good and bad. How’d those play out? As for those last two, I’m sensing a bit of a backstory. Why does Grievous not like stuff being put into his food? And why’s Jackie not good with being left?

6: So it’s fifty/fifty, huh? Who wins the most at what games? And uh, Watson has to be present for Dart Throwing. What happened there? How’s everyone’s poker faces? Who’s got the best luck in games of chance?

7: A love/hate relationship with height. I feel ya, Jackie. Very funny to imagine though, Jackie just, physically climbing up Ran. How tall even is this guy?? How do they deal with meaner teasing, not just from the gladiators, but from general bullies? Not everybody’s as friendly as some of the Pit fighters, after all. And how do the fishermen react with their fighting skills? Obviously, they must know how to fight somewhat, to have entered the Pit, but the gladiators do this for a living. How much is the difference in skill level? And does the gang ever get to show off just how skilled they are?

8: Their home sounds very nice, honestly, I wished I could live there, minus the people. What’s everyone’s rooms look like? How have they personalized them? Which brings up another question-what kind of interests and hobbies do they have? What kind of things do they do that aren’t fighting and related to such? And they must be pretty well known, to have such high pay. Any of them have an arena title, or some sort of stage name? How many people can recognize the city’s top gladiators on sight? And how do they get around that, when they don’t want to be seen? How do people feel about them in general?

9: All these team ups sound terrifying, and I wouldn’t want to be facing them. How do they deal with it when they get a bad match up? Do they just stay out of each other’s way? Try to take their opponents out quick? Make it one on one? Ran and Jackie have to be my favorite team up, solely for the fact that you’ve said Ran straight up throws him. Like?? Imagine coming to the King’s Pit, a well known, popular place, hoping to prove yourself, and then getting taking out by a flying midget, just tossed at you by a ridiculously tall endermen hybrid. How would you feel??

10: Ranbob is just really going through the ringer here. How many times does he just drop stuff, or trip over his feet? Does he ever get better, or does he still retain a clumsy streak? If so, how does Ran react to that? It’s very good he and Cletus bond! Are they just as close as the others, or is there still a bit of distance? How often does Ranbob forget to eat or drink, or really just take a break? How long does it take to get him to start remembering to do that stuff again?

Does he ever slip up while with the gladiators? Also, in a room? Do the fisherman expand their house more, or do they just leave them in the house? Does Ranbob ever get his own house up? If so, does he use it at all, or is it more for storage? And how many times did he fall asleep out there, get injured, or not realize it was about to rain? How long did it take before Benjamin or Charles put their foot down and make him stay in for a bit?

Has Ranbob ever even dealt with rain before, or a storm above water? If not, how’d he react to it?

11: Oh, boy, Ran. Your concerns are understandable, but definitely going to lead to some angst. Is he just on edge the whole time? How many times does he just glare at them, or straight up steal one of his haunting back a few feet away from Ranbob’s? Are the fishermen ever worried he might hurt them?

12: How do both hybrids deal with their groups bonding? I imagine Ranbob’s pretty happy with it, but how about Ran? As you said, he doesn’t seem to be the biggest fan of these guys.

13: Roadtrip! Gotta love a roadtrip! What kind of places do they head? Any transportation, or is it just walking, enjoying nature? Do they go on an adventure to look for something cool? What’re they getting up to?

14: So Ran and Ranbob both act on their instincts in different ways. How do they feel about seeing how the other acts? What happens if any of the fishermen stray too far, or get separated from Ranbob? Same question to Ran. Ran just...like...picks up members of his haunting? Do people just see him walk around with them dangling in his arms? He must be pretty strong. How often does he do this? How else do their instincts lead to them acting? Cuddle piles, picking up blocks, keeping their groups close together, ect?

15: So Subbin’s pretty much a safe space for hybrids? Interesting. But since the groups are heading out, does this mean they run into some trouble outside of the city? And is there ever trouble within it?

Other questions: Does Karl play any further part in this, or has he already played his role for good? Does the gang ever end up back at Mizu? Do any of the group have a pet or something similar? With there be any sort of connection to other Tales, even if only slightly, or will they be solely focused on these two? Does Ranbob pick up his studies of Ranboo as best he can once he’s free, or does he leave it all behind entirely?

Thanks for the ask, this AU’s become quite interesting. I can’t wait to see where it goes!

#dream smp #Brothers AU #dream smp au #ranbob #ran #jackie #watson #grievous #tales from the smp #isaac #cletus #charles #benjamin

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wsgeon · 3 years

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hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc.

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

#ws:intro #frankly my characters end up a lil different from intended 90% of the time soooo take my description of his personality w a grain of salt #this intro is long and illiterate but i'll fix it at a later time

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artificialac1d · 4 years

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aswhoa there big ol spirit phone post whoaaaaa. (I WAS ORIGINALLY DOING ALL OF THE ALBUMS BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG SO I’LL DO INDIVIDUAL POSTS FOR THE ALBUMS) (NOT INCLUDING MASHUPS SORRY :[)

alright lets go sorry if theres spelling mistakes i am tired and my keyboard hates me ;[ spirit phone - ok so VERY COOL the first half i feel is supernatural and the second half is more like.... a comment on capitalism?? yeah,, idk either thats what most people say lol. thanks neil!! lifetime achievement award (ebiccc). very long (ab 6 minutes) BUT the length is worth it!! the lyrics are jammin not to mention the instrumental!! the singing is very chefs kiss let alone the effects on the singing!! very cool song. touch tone telephone!! (ttt) so ttt is VERY jammin but its a little overrated. I GET WHY, but it is definitely not the best song made by lemon demon. well i guess thats mostly up to interpretation, but its not the best. the message is cool!!! conspiracy theorist going fucking batshit crazy?? hell yeah!! cabinet man (😳) how the fuc did this man get in cabinet???? hfgbrfj.. ANYWAYS the beep boop instrumental is one of THE BEST on the album next to the very epic instrumental of as your father i expressly forbid it. anyways, the lyrics and beat are v nice v satisfying!! i love singing this song like, only third to as your father and soft fuzzy man!! singing is hard :[ no eyed girl (where are her eyes???) neil is a monster/alien fucker and you cannot change my mind. no eyed girl is one of my favorite songs!! i mean all of the lemon demon songs are one of my favorite songs but... um,, ANYWAYS. imagine being some guy who just like, made the world get destroyed bc you were horny over an alien. when he died (holy fuck what is up with this dude) the amount of mysteries that are brought up in thius song is AMAZING. when i listen to lemon demon on alexa the only albums i have access to are nature tapes and spirit phone (because i use spotify and not apple music) and i hear this all the time!! its ALWAYS a good time very bangin very jammin 20/10 sweet bod (aha 😳 what do you mean im eating a dead body) neil?? are you sure it isnt sexual??? super synthy and cool!! the funk never ends!!! funky town!! never go down!! (im sorry) the idea of drinking dead bodies to cure cancer though not very cash money. wowie zowie capitalism!! the lyrics make me uncomfortable if im listening to it with someone else BUT if im alone i will scream sing this song eighth wonder!! (goofy mongoose ends humanity) i heard like in the commentary that neil was proud of this song and honestly, i dont blame him. VERY jammin. i keep saying jammin but i dont have synonyms. i havent read that news article about gef but i should sometime!! the way the song just is is just mwah ancient aliens!! (caveman go aaaaa) i dont have much to say about this one because it isnt my favorite. NOT because it doesnt jam hard but its just not as good as other ones. man i am mostly just praising neil. this is fun to sing!! instrumental is VERY cool bery epic,,, soft fuzzy man (hhhottie 😳) this is my FAVORITEEEEE i can say SO much about this song on how it JAMS. the little beep boop after the first part is GREAT I LOVE IT. the chorus lives rent free in my brain. singing this is the best source of serotonin !!! ahhh the lyrics and the message!! very cool!! i love that neil made this song as a comment on dudes who think being mysterious is cool (yucfky ew) one lyric taken out of context makes me feel weird but like idk i just link it with something not great (once you go hazy you’ll understand i’m your soft fuzzy man sounds like he roofied someone) BUT i can ignore that because that wasnt the intention of the lyric!! very ebic songgg. as your father i expressly forbid it!! (neils my dad???) whoa,, neil scrEAM,,,, honestly i cant stop thinking of neil’s daughter while listening to this (sorry) but umm THE INSTRUMENTAL IS THE B EST!! the little beeop boop>?>?? YES i love it sorry about like not being able to get ideas across my brain is old computer stalling noise rn i earn my life (he damn earned it) this is my moms favorite!! (yeah she likes it too surprisingly!!) this song is really nice,, verry cool little instrumental bits!! awesome!! singing it is a 10/10 experience!!! reaganomics!! (baby, baby. YEAHHHHHH) whoa!!! ronald reagan?? and he wants to take you for a ride?? anyways, whoa!! instrumental!! i can tell that neil puts a lot of effort into his songs because ALL of the main tracks are bangers. man-made object (shit i caught insomnia from looking at the moon😔) SO big ol giant tower towering over everything!!! i kinda have a bad experience with this song because when i drew fanart for it my friend misconstrued the tie i drew with... a sexual organ. (hes fucked up) does NOT mean the song is bad but i get reminded of that whenever i listen to it. very COOL SONG!! YES!! build that giant skyscraper girl you go spiral of ants (im im caught in the spiral of ants girl) whoa last song... ON THE MAIN TRACK AHAHA!! just kidding i cant do the bonus tracks. ANYWAYS whoa!! a tornado of ants? count me in! the lyrics are very epic!! and fun to sing except for the AND WE BECAME A HURRICANE because its a high note and i suck at high notes 😔i did it once but i cant anymore 😔😔this sounds very nice i love it!! if you read this all the way,, fucking,,,, thANKS because this is hella long im sorry i hope you liked my opinions bye!! <3 i’ll be doing more album stuff in the future (possibly even tonight because i have nothing to do with my life.

#lemon demon #neil cicierega #:]

11 notes · View notes

ficclique · 4 years

Text

In addition to our own personal top fics (which you can view here), we asked you all to send us your choices for your fics of the decade and why you loved them. We received so many wonderful submissions, and now want to share them with everybody! In an effort to not make this post too long we’ve edited down the comments that people left us, but everyone had some really lovely things to say, so if anything catches your eye here we really encourage you to take a look at the complete list of comments here.

Without further ado, please enjoy the top fics of the decade as chosen by you, our listeners:

Submitted by: Cricket

Fic 1: pilgrimage by wolfsupremacist

Info: EXO RPF, Baekhyun/Sehun

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411497/chapters/43607615

Cricket’s comment: I can't get over all the building in this fic -- the world building, the character building, the relationship building. The main character’s development was like watching a child grow: it's hard to see it happening, but once you reflect on who he became versus who he was, it's so obvious how he changed.

Fic 2: the eye of providence by minhyukwithagun

Info: NCT RPF, Jaehyun/Taeyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981330

Cricket’s comment: I have genuinely never laughed so hard while reading a fic.There were so many little details that the author added that were unnecessary to the overall plot but just made the characters so much more real. You get to learn so much about everyone in such a (relatively) short amount of time.

Fic 3: so collect your scars and wear them well by addandsubtract

Info: Hockey RPF, Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075128

Cricket’s comment: I feel like this fic changed me as a writer. It touches on such a relatable subject: that feeling of being completely unsure of what you should do with your life when Plan A doesn't work out, and discovering who you are without the thing that you previously thought defined you.

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Submitted by: Claire

Fic 1: The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero by Ellarose C

Info: Hetalia, ?

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5819880/1/

Claire’s comment: This fic launched 3 of my high school friendships that continue to this day. It's cute and Hallmark levels of unrealistic, and I LOVE it. The overwhelming nostalgia and gratefulness I feel towards this fic (and all of Carrie's work, honestly) still blows me away.

Fic 2: Embers by Vathara

Info: Avatar: The Last Airbender, gen

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/

Claire’s comment: The best, wildest, most comprehensively worldbuilt ATLA fic I have ever read. Tea, dragons, realistic motivations, that ending... perfect. *chef kiss*

Fic 3: Of A Linear Circle (series) by flamethrower

Info: HP, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028

Claire’s comment: I linked the whole series because I simply cannot pick a favorite installment. OaLC focuses on fixing the glaring plot holes in the Wizarding education system, accurately depicting the Founders' Era thanks to copious research, and showing that no one is truly irredeemable (except Voldemort himself, who more than earns it).

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Submitted by: Threepwillow

Fic 1: All the Other Ghosts by rainjoys

Info: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Link: https://rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/146587.html

Threepwillow’s comment: All The Other Ghosts and its direct sequel, Grey, are some of the most incredibly original and simultaneously incredibly transformative works of fanfiction I have ever read. The way they masterfully twist elements of canon to fit into the lore of their AU is second only to the profound, revelatory character studies that they've executed. This shit is extraordinary.

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Submitted by: Segs

Fic 1: Hemostuck (series) by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite

Info: Homestuck, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8470

Seg’s comment: THE WORLDBUILDING. THE ARTWORK. THE NARRATIVE VOICE(S). THE INCREDIBLE GRASP ON CHARACTERIZATION. DID I MENTION THE WORLDBUILDING.

Fic 2: transistor by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760093/chapters/44503969

Seg’s comment: Rips my heart to shreds piece-by-piece and then gently puts it back together in the end. It's another put-these-characters-in-a-darker-setting sort of thing. It is brilliant and beautiful and I love it dearly.

Fic 3: any sign of spring by bluecarrot

Info: Hamilton, Hamilton/Burr

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523227/chapters/17100376

Seg’s comment: This fic is so dang atmospheric. It feels very physical -- the temperature, the environment, the drawing. It's bittersweet, but ends on the sweet, and I think the sweetness is all the more emphasized for it. Rereading it feels like coming back to a familiar place.

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Submitted by: Ang

Fic 1: Anarchy In The U.K. by Yahtzee

Info: X-Men First Class, Erik/Charles

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673552/chapters/1232410

Ang’s comment: the writing of this one made it so easy to get completely lost in the au while still knowing the characters so well from the source material! super engaging, totally consumed my life for a week

Fic 2: blackjacks running down by back by dangerbears

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499474

Ang’s comment: this is like my comfort blanket fic! every time i reread it (even though i'm not in that fandom anymore), it's still just as funny and cute as it was the very first time i read it - again the au is so easily believable because the characterizations are so familiar.

Fic 3: this city bleeds its aching heart by renne

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829

Ang’s comment: unsurprisingly, it's another au that is so easy to fall into! this is another one that i've been consistently rereading since i first read it (in 2015, for this one) because it's my absolute favorite trope with a ship that i'm still very much into!

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Submitted by: Scout

Fic 1: she called it a void by vans88

Info: Star Wars, Finn/Poe/Rey

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493500

Scout’s comment: Short and powerful and essential to anyone's viewing of the new Star Wars trilogy. Seriously one of the most careful, tender, and graceful queer addendums to a piece of pop culture this decade.

Fic 2: The Love Song of The North American Douchebag by gyzym

Info: Star Trek RPF, Chris/Zach

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852395

Scout’s comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!

Fic 3: all this learning here is by you by decinq, nighimpossible

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105441

Scout’s comment: Revolutionized – and I would argue – drove the GROWTH AND SURVIVAL of hockey fandom. One of the best known works in the fandom, and a masterclass in how to build a set of characters that you're genuinely envious you don't get to see or know. Two incredible authors and a plethora of personality. Fun and sexy and lighthearted but poignant. Chef kiss.

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Submitted by: Em

Fic 1: the subtle science and exact art of chess-boxing, by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931885/chapters/44945971

Em’s comment: fishcola is definitely one of the top reasons i actually started reading/writing polygon rpf. this fic!!!!! i sWEAR its so /so/ good oh my GOSH. yes, full disclosure im fish's beta for chessboxing but also i am enthusiastic simply because it is a very beautiful and powerful narrative on trauma, healing, and how the people we choose to interact with affect our emotions.

Fic 2: the old men call me by my mother’s name by theviolonist

Info: HP, Hermione/Ron

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044467

Em’s comment: as a certified Trans(TM) im always pursuing and consuming trans content. the old men call me by my mother's name is an hp fic that i still cherish years after first reading it. trans!ron is a concept not often explored in hp fic, much less trans /girl/ ron. massive gender feels, folks.

Fic 3: national hot dad alliance is now calling… by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor

Info: Haikyuu! , various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683/chapters/13045579

Em’s comment: national hot dad alliance really is the perfect evolution of a groupchat fic. i laughed, i cried, i fell in love with the characters all over again as these captains from different teams bond over graduating. and also being Dads(TM). in some cases-- pining over their fellow volleyball players-- plus star wars, the x-files, and memes. overall its is very good and i will stan it eternally

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Submitted by: Staci

Fic 1: No Homo, by orphan account

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073

Staci’s comment: Literally my favorite AU ever written. The characterization is SO on point and it truly is a super fun read. It’s also a super long which helps with painting such a detailed picture of these two dummies who are-totally-just-bros-with-added-benefits. I’d recommend this to anyone, even if they’re unaware of Teen Wolf, but if you’re a Teen Wolf fan then it’s even better.

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Submitted by: Nadine

Fic 1: Too Long, Too Close (series) by callmejude

Info: MCU RPF, Chris/Sebastian

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/253528

Nadine’s comment: kink exploration and bdsm done well.... and so thoroughly. but there's more! theres FEELINGSSSSSS uhhhhhhh it made me CRY it's so good.

Fic 2: On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl

Info: HP, Harry/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879841

Nadine’s comment: I could've put a few other fics by this author because they write the best drarry but uhhhhh. I had to choose and it was either gonna be TURN or this one. Idk why but this one makes me so unbelievably emotional bc it was Harry who's Going Through Stuff and I just loved it a lot.

Fic 3: around the world in eighty thousand days, by fallfreely

Info: 1D, Liam/Harry

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856935

Nadine’s comment: It was hard to pick a 1D fave but I think that this fic always had a v special place in my heart & I can't even explain why. I love the dynamic of this pairing (even though it's not even my OTP, wtf. I'm a Gryles and Narry truther... *eye emoji*) and the whole FEEL of this fic and it's slow burn tour fic, soo.

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Submitted by: Frecklebomb

Fic 1: Shalbatana

Info: Mars Trilogy, Gen

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629

Frecklebomb’s comment: A beautifully-written gen fic (with an incredibly gorgeous podfic by Luzula) in the near-future-scifi Mars Trilogy fandom but very easy to enjoy without canon knowledge. I revisit this story over and over and always marvel at the presence of the landscape and alien planet in it, the way it feels like a character. Bonus Mars rover feelings (I cry every time about the robot).

Fic 2: Through a Glass Darkly, by susiecarter

Info: DCU, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395793/chapters/46155535

Frecklebomb’s comment: Sprawling post-apocalyptic epic, so rich and cinematic that it feels like a movie I somehow read. The worldbuilding and tension of the focal ship are what sucked me into this fic, but what stayed with me was the richness of the ensemble characters. I find myself just thinking about their character arcs, and imagining what they'd be doing post-story. I want fic of this fic.

Fic 3: Too Far Down The Road, by SoniaVice

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208136/chapters/30212907

Frecklebomb’s comment: An amnesia trope origfic set in handwavey hockey fandom (author said they 'set it free' to be OMC/OMC when the dynamic needed to be different from the RPF ship it started out as). It gives me so many good feelings about family (of choice and otherwise) and ageing and self-acceptance and sexuality, and the way you can choose to be changed by the people you spend your life with.

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Submitted by: Em (Springsteen)

Fic 1: Pull Me Under, by zarah5

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766

Em’s comment: first of all zarah5 is a fandom legend. second, this is like the pinnacle of fake relationship fics to me it's 140k and so much of it is pining and like truly, who among us doesn't love harry styles with their whole heart. I can't think about the '10s without thinking about one direction and when this fic came out I remember a lot of people fully losing their minds.

Fic 2: Door to Door, by Ferritin4

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478298

Em’s comment: this is one of the first hockey fics I ever read and I still come back to it so often. The relationship builds so well, Tyler's dogs are in it, it's just so sweet, and plus it's a very readable 10k.

Fic 3: Darling It Is No Joke, by thehoyden

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194

Em’s comment: look I can't be retrospective about this decade and /not/ include a sterek fic. the first half of this decade for me was all 1d and teen wolf and full disclosure, it's been a while since I've reread this fic, but I remember the banter being really stellar and thehoyden is another one of those authors who I just. Adore.

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Submitted by: Dan

Fic 1: The Heart Rate of a Mouse (series) by Anna (arctic_grey)

Info: Bandom, Ryan Ross/Brendan Urie

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/712953

Dan’s comment: This fic is incredibly iconic. It’s definitely one of my favorites of all time—the way the story is told is just heart wrenching, and it manages to always keep you on edge about what’s going to happen. The portrayal of self discovery, love, jealousy, down to the settings and all the social issues of the time period (the 70s), is amazingly done.

Fic 2: The Cat’s Miaow by Pennyplainknits

Info: Bandom, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930529

Dan’s comment: This fic is unlike anything else I’ve read. First off, I LOVE historical AUs, and the noir setting is everything I could have wanted and more. The author has managed to create such a delicate and profound romance along with an interesting plot that borders on thriller without ever going too far with either side of the story.

Fic 3: Get Real Get Right (Fuckin Right) by sophiahelix

Info: Riveyonce Cuoknowles, Sufjan Stevens/Drake

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9029020

Dan’s comment: Honestly? This is just art.

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Submitted by: Carina

Fic 1: Bite Marks by provocative_envy

Info: HP, Hermione/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580953/chapters/7894464

Carina’s comment: i've shied away from aus in harry potter fic for years, especially american college aus but this fic in my opinion kept the best of the characters and modernized them in a way that felt true to who they are.

Fic 2: old jokes from a wild youth, by knightspur

Info: SEVENTEEN RPF, Mingyu/Minghao

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127073

Carina’s comment: mingyu and minghao are in love, but they're not soulmates. i love the dynamics and the quiet intimacy between them, and also how they work through wanting to be together despite them not having a bond in the way soulmates have.

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Submitted by: Katy

Fic 1: The River and The Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure

Info: 1D, Harry/Niall

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005275

Katy’s comment: this fic honestly surpasses the genre of fic. it is a genre all its own. it is the pinnacle in catharsis and heartbreak and having a satisfying end that is completely unsatisfying as well. I will never recover from this fic.

Fic 2: Out of the Dead Land by Orphan Account

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955

Katy’s comment: there is a specific phrase in this fic that has and will continue to stay with me. I will never hear the phrase "up or down" without feeling immense heartbreak. an amazing blend of source material to create something altogether its own - but could still take place in either canon

Fic 3: Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Jimin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168

Katy’s comment: this fic is one that I found more recently, but I can already tell that it is one that is going to stick with me for a long long time. it is another fic that I feel transcends the genre of fic entirely

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Submitted by: Corie

Fic 1: Build A Temple In Me by Authoress

Info: Haikyuu!, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716002

Corie’s comment: A wonderful and moving fanfic with fantasy akin to studio ghibli. If I have to recommend Haikyuu fanfiction this is it.

Fic 2: Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

Info: Haikyuu!, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898771/chapters/8721568

Corie’s comment: Another haikyuu!! Fic! I remember reccing this to my friend and she said it was more akin to a novel then any fanfiction she has read. High praise IMO

Fic 3: Fake Sugar by minverse

Info: BTS, Jungkook/Seokjin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707098/chapters/33987549

Corie’s comment: Oh sweet god I love minverse’s writing and this fic has it all. Romance, smut, and a nice dollop of humor.

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Submitted by: Abby

Fic 1: an awful curse by blinkiesays

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604092

Abby’s comment: Non-linear timeline, au within the story, "every me loves every you," domesticity but also heavy angst, and it's so beautifully written it makes me want to cry reading it. also it harkens back to the time of when the show was still good.

Fic 2: dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye

Info: Les Miserables, Enjorlas/Grantaire

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994140/chapters/1966093

Abby’s comment: It's such a great, understandable ensemble fic for a dense canon, with such a great modern day au setting, but the whole time it really deals with the main character's depression and alcoholism and the complete overwhelming love that he has for the guy he's shipped with. it's so gritty and real but the ending brings so much hope I love it.

Fic 3: comment fic by anon

Info: iCarly, Sam/Spencer

Link: https://author-abz.livejournal.com/35003.html

Abby’s comment: this is an ANONYMOUS comment fic someone wrote me when I was feeling down on LJ and it's so short but so complete, and it says everything it needs to about it being okay to mess up and just be messed up together. also: "glitter emergency" (technically a cheat, it's from 2008; I forgot it was so old)

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Submitted by: Kassie

Fic 1: An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky

Info: Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676

Kassie’s comment: an exercise in worthless introduced me (indirectly) to my favorite musician and (directly) to the subject i almost minored in during undergrad, so honestly i would put it as a fic of the decade even if it wasn’t one of the best fics i read in the supernatural fandom.

Fic 2: Superstition (series) by Superstition_hockey

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/413233

Kassie’s comment: superstition started out as a tropey, fun, lighthearted short fic, and grew into a big thing that deals with a lot of serious topics incredibly well while also being still very funny and emotional and having honestly some of my favorite fictional characters i’ve read in years

Fic 3: United States v. Barnes

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304905/chapters/5071058

Kassie’s comment: united states v barnes is the multimedia fic of my DREAMS. this is what i want to show people to explain why i love fanfic so much. it does so much with the medium its working in and the presentation of the fic, and fits that perfect fanfic niche of exploring the kind of background that will never appear in canon but that everyone wonders about.

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Submitted by: Kat

Fic 1: I’ve felt and I’ve Been by autotunedd

Info: Big Bang RPF, Seunghyun/Jiyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349758/chapters/35616516

Kat’s comment: Possibly the fic that marked my entire decade. The characters are so human and real, the plot is heavy and winding and the twists sometimes seem life ending. It is heavy, it is painful, it is sad, it is angsty, it is maybe even a smidge too real and dangerous at times, but it makes a solid read, a long, relatable novel about real people with real fears and problems.

Fic 2: Eversion by thespectaclesofthor

Info: Detroit: Become Human, Hank Anderson/Connor

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754140/chapters/36638253

Kat’s comment: Beautiful, long, detailed, well written, hard hitting, serious, sweet, painful, kinky, all in one! The characters have so much depth, their issues and inner workings seem so real and the plot is so carefully crafted and detailed, every chapter keeps you at the edge of your seat. All in all, beautifully crafted, passionate, hard hitting piece that I couldn't help falling in love with.

Fic 3: Eggshell Landscapes and the Burden of Love by NoContractTermination

Info: NCT RPF, Taeil/Johnny

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446438

Kat’s comment: Short, sweet, angsty and charming! I loved the intimate look into their relationship this fic brings, the trials and tribulations and the struggle to communicate. It all seemed so raw and real and coupled with the author's beautiful writing, it all came together in a perfect read, with bounds of re-read potential.

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Submitted by: Wen

Fic 1: the bellwether by highoctane

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634426

Wen’s comment: Feelings!!! It's really refreshing to read a character who, as an established adult, is reconfiguring an understanding of himself without it being either a whole crisis or a sudden seamless lightbulb moment. It's very fair to both characters' emotions, letting them both react in a way that feels wonderfully human and real rather than idealistic.

Fic 2: Five Times the Potion Seller Refused to Sell a Potion (and One Time He Didn’t) by misura

Info: Potion Seller (Justin Kuritzkes Short Film), Knight/Potion Seller

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441447

Wen’s comment: It's based on a 3 minute meme video and if it was just a tweet or post with the title alone it would be a great joke but... someone went and wrote the dang thing! And it could have been ridiculous crackfic, and while it certainly toes that line it's also got a really fun flow of dialogue that leaves a lot to the imagination without it getting confusing.

Fic 3: I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town by Daniel Lavery

Info: The Untitled Goose Game, gen

Link: https://www.shatnerchatner.com/p/i-am-the-horrible-goose-that-lives

Wen’s comment: the writing is tremendous and sits beautifully in that razor's edge space where english is used just strangely enough to create a fantastic character voice without going too far and falling into some kind of awkward english language uncanny valley. it's so hard to pick out the best line because every line is the best line. "Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose."

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Submitted by: Mage

Fic 1: Fog, Sheets and Thunder by theopteryx

Info: My Chemical Romance RPF, Frank/Gerard

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351396

Mage’s comment: i have literally thought about this fic at least once a week since i read it in 2012. do not ask me why. i have no answers.

Fic 2: Flowers in Bones by fringecity (indiachick)

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256390

Mage’s comment: sometimes i just wanna be a careful selection of small animal bones that yoongi gently unearths and meticulously crafts into an altar of pressed flowers and ink

Fic 3: It Happened Quiet by hobimo

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070646/chapters/34939646

Mage’s comment: haunted woods :) cryptids :) that deeply unsettling feeling that there are greater, mysterious forces at work and there's nothing you can do about it :)

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Submitted by: BirdieLeonie

Fic 1: Reprise (series) by Elfpen

Info: Star Wars, various (Obi-Wan centric)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I spent about seven months of my life reading nothing but Star Wars time-travel fix-it fics. (I am not exaggerating; there are enough of them to last that long or longer.) This is my favorite.

Fic 2: Friday Night Arrives Without a Suitcase by marycontraire

Info: Hockey RPF, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534247

BirdieLeonie’s comment: This is a fic I have kept coming back to again and again in the years since I first read it. It's domestic and sweet and still adult. It's like curtainfic, inverted; the leads live together and parent their kids and go grocery shopping before they have a romantic or sexual relationship.

Fic 3: The Hero’s Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer (podfic), by artzbots, blackglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, kalakirya, Opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande

Info: MCU & Welcome to Night Vale, Jemma Simmons/Jasper Sitwell

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462223

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I love podfic, I love crossovers, and I love this fic. Again, I picked this because of all the thousands of MCU fics I've read, this is the one I find myself coming back to repeatedly. This crossover is creative, fun, and plays with one of my favorite tropes: what was happening to a minor character in the background of the story we saw?

#fic clique #fic recs #multifandom #minisode #top fics of the decade #fics of the decade

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fromedcns-blog · 6 years

Text

* medalion rahimi, age 24, she/her | oh, them? that’s ghalia majid. they’ve lived in carina bay for, like, twenty four years. last time i spoke to them they were a sports journalist, and if i remember correctly, they’re a cancer. seeing them around always makes me think of keys clicking away on a keyboard, floral printed skirts and birds chirping in the morning. ( lissa, 21, est, she/her )

hey guys it me lmao i’m so excited to bring ghalia here, i’ve been playing her for a while now and love her a lot so i hope u guys do too cus i love it here and i think/hope she’ll fit in great!! this whole intro post is pretty much taken from a bio i wrote for her i just kinda cut it up and added some new things to switch it up so here ya go!!

ghalia is always set out to do the right thing and she’s definitely a #momfriend type. making sure her friends and everyone around her is ok or asking if they need anything/being concerned is a huge part of her personality.. even if it can be overbearing at times. she sees the world in a positive light rather than the much more realistic hell hole it can be. sometimes this can make her seem naive, but she’s just someone who finds it more beneficial to see the good side of things.

she can be kinda nosy and annoying like … no joke about that. she loves taking care of people but she can also be kinda invasive and too In Your Face about it without even realizing. she absolutely means well but sometimes doesn’t see herself crossing a line until it’s too late

she’s also quite ambitious and believes that people can achieve anything they want to (motivational speaker much?) she always has her sights set on something bigger than herself and for the most part, she feels like her potential has no limits. she thrives off of opportunity and optimism even if she lives in her head a lot, and even if what’s brewing in her head really makes no sense or has no possibility of ever happening. she looks at life as en empty canvas, just waiting for her to fill it with her thoughts and desires but as most things are, it’s easier said than done.

this doesn’t stop her from wanting the greatest life she could possibly have, but she has high expectations for herself and doesn’t want to fall short of them. with this kind of personality, it may seem like she’s isolating herself from others when she has her mind set on something, but she’s an extrovert through and through and loves people, but sometimes has a hard time bursting out of the dream space in her head.

she’s been this way since she was a child. her parents are both immigrants, they came to american from tehran, iran in the 80s and created a new life themselves and worked to make sure their children had better opportunities growing up. they ended up in new york at first for their careers (her mom is a teacher, her dad is a professional photographer and he teaches lessons at a studio) and eventually settled in carina bay before ghalia was born because it seemed like a great place to raise a family. ghalia looks up to them like no one else, she admires their courage and their strength and their tenacity to never settle for less than what they deserve. so it’s because of them, not just blind hope, that ghalia reaches for the even beyond the stars and keeps reaching even when her arms can’t go anymore.

although she’s a bright and spirited person who always wants to do right by others, that also causes ghalia to have a number of downfalls that all add up and can create quite a monster of an emotional mess. she’s stubborn and a special kind of reckless; feels embarrassed admitting she failed at something she put all her effort into even when the horizon that is the finish line really wasn’t as close as she thought. disappointment is her enemy yet she comes face to face with it often, usually from her own doing. she wants to know everything all the time, her curious mind wanders and wanders until it finds trouble she never knew existed. when she drills too hard into conversation and hits sore spots and doesn’t realize it until she’s made everyone around her uncomfortable– she wants to be open with people, when it’s not always possible. not everyone can relate to the positivity she thrives on and that frustrates her sometimes.

other tidbits/fun facts:

ghalia has always been interested in writing and photography (something she got from her dad), the two have been her main creative outlet growing up. she majored in journalism at wake forest university and decided to focus on sports as she grew into her career path and works for a local newspaper covering mostly soccer through the nc courage and north carolina fc!

she played soccer growing up and into highschool and thought she might continue into college but honestly she wasn’t THAT good and decided the sidelines were better suited for her anyways where she could help behind the scenes and volunteered wherever they needed her and she was also the team photographer for a while

((listen i’m a huge sports nerd so why not live vicariously through her lolol))

she’s a very talkative, very social ‘lil thing. she’s always been that kind of kid in school who got moved for talking to the person sitting her, but she was also that person who talked and talked no matter if her neighbor was a stranger or not. that gets her into trouble sometimes. she can be overwhelming when having conversations, she always has a million things to say and usually not enough time to say it. also, not everyone always wants to hear the oh so thrilling details about her walk back to her apartment yesterday, but she’d swear on her life that you *need* to hear about the squirrel that followed her the entire way. bottom line is, she loves to talk but needs to be told to shut up every once in a while. it’s only for her own good.

she’s a lesbian and very into girls although she’s kinda shy about dating and has only been in one serious relationship

besides her main passions/hobbies being photography and writing, ghalia also enjoys nature, staying up late reading wiki articles on conspiracy theories, watching paranormal story time videos on youtube at 4 am, and she also wants to learn as many languages as she can. for now, she can speak conversational farsi, the language that, outside of english, is the main language her family speaks, and it’s important to her that she’s able to keep in touch with her relatives still living in iran. she’s not so great at writing it quite yet but she’s working on it. she’s not too bad at speaking spanish, she took several years of classes ever since middle school and falls in and out of practicing it currently. she’s attempted french and german, but only got as far as a couple activities on duolingo before her attention got dragged to her next project. one day she’ll be fluent in them all, one day.

her family is her heart, she’ll defend them until the day she dies and longer, they’re her lifeline and especially her brother, reza majid, who’s 5 years younger and the apple of ghalia’s eye. she has a protective nature about her and that’s due in part to how much she loves her family and little brother, and only wants the best for them, and she feels that way about everyone she cares about.

some connection ideas i just thought of!!!

childhood friends - from like age 4 or something like weeee lil things since ghalia has lived here her whole life, that’d be cute

roommates - it’d be fun if they got along really well and were friends beforehand we love a cute roommate connection

coworkers - from the local paper she works at mayhaps??

former teammates / college friends - ik wake forest is very specific but it could also be friends/teammates from high school or something like that :^)

i’d also love some kinda former relationship?? i imagine her to only have ever been in one real serious relationship, maybe kinda recently or something and it was a big deal and had a big impact on ghalia and maybe there’s lingering feelings or unresolved feelings, idk!!! we could work it out!!

id LUV a ride or die friend or multiple

also maybe someone who can’t stand ghalia bc she’s nosy and annoying

i don’t know im going out to dinner soon with my fam so i haven’t thought much more about plots but i’m open to all and any ideas! if anyone wants to chat on discord feel free to hmu there @ #lissa7602 or here in the IMs!!! <3333

#carinaintro #HI again #i gotta run but i wanted to post this before i left #i hope it all makes sense <333

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mcltifandcm · 6 years

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Yoonseok ✧ single parent au ; pt.1

I've had this constant thought of Yoongi having a young daughter who'll just sit in the studio and listening to him make music and sit on his lap while slaming her hands on the piano. omg.

also im making this 2... maybe 3 parts cuz I have so many ideas for this omg

I worked hard on this u guys, give it some love,,,, and if u have possible ideas,,,, feel free to u know.. hmu with them

also,,,,, i am s o sorry for my grammar, i’m shit at it

listen, Yoongi being a rlly famous rapper + producer who looks rlly intimidating on stage and in the studio

But he's actually the biggest sweetheart and has the cutest daughter that he posts about literally all the freaking time

Her name is Soomi

I feel she'd be around 8-9 years old, goes to a private school and has a bff who is an actual sweetheart

Her bffs name is Jisung, hes an angel and the shyest bby EVER

Anywho, Soomi is honestly the best thing in Yoongi

She'll sit in his lap while he's at his studio and Yoongi will let her play the keyboard he has in his desk and shed fall asleep on the couch in the room and omg

She also draws A LOT and it's mostly drawings of her and Yoongi

Yoongi carries around this bag with all his papers and lyrics n' shit

But he also keeps the drawings that Soomi gives him cuz it's his little goodluck charm

Anyways

Since Yoongi is busy A LOT

His good friend Park Jimin, aka one of his back up dancers, takes her to a cafe close by, occasionally bring Jisung if he aint busy

Once time,, when Jimin was babysitting Soomi, Yoongi was in a meeting

She somehow got away from Jimin??

And fckin' barGES INTO YOONGI'S MEETING

YELLING ABOUT HOW HE'S MISSING THEIR WEEKLY FATHER-DAUGHTER TIME TOGETHER

it was the cutest thing omg

AnYWAYS

Soomi is the definition of a social butterfly, she'll end up starting a conversation with someone

Anyways, since she goes there so often shes already made friends with the workers there

Aka Hoseok, Jin, Jungkook, and Taehyung

She talks with them all the time, mostly Hoseok and Taehyung since Jin and Jungkook are busy making drinks and serving other customers

Also they know that Soomi is the daughter of the one and only famous rapper Agust D and that Jimin works for agust d

But they couldnt care less about that cuz they all just want the two of them to be comfortable in their cafe and make an effort to make sure no one crowds them or bothers them

(Also Jungkook and Taehyung have the fattest crush on Jimin omg, its so cute but thAT'LL BE FOR ANOTHER POST, vminkook everybody 🙏🏻🙏🏻)

Jin is honestly the best god damn baker ever, he owns the cafe and he makes cute little pastries for Soomi and Jimin

Jiddy boy is actually dating Kim Namjoon

Aka another big rapper

Aka a rlly good friend of Yoongis,,, like his studio is down the hall from Yoongis

Like the only reason Yoongi, Soomi, and Jimin know about Jins cafe is because Namjoon requested

Yoongi used to go there all the time but that was before Hobi started working there and Yoongi got stuck with sO MUCH WORK OML

Also soomi maybe hella young but she doesnt fail to drop hints to Hoseok that her famous father is single as fu—

K, now Hoseok would be a fan of Agust D,,,,,,, aka y o o n g i

And he occasionally writes music, raps, sings, also a hella good fckin dancer

He is a dance major

fun fricken fact,,, him and Jimin used to dance together when they were younger

He has offered to take Soomi off of his hands sometimes

So during his break he'll hang out w/ Soomi while Jimin takes care of some shiiiit

Now HERES WHERE YOONGI AND HOSEOK MEET

SO,,,, Jimin and Hoseok would actually be talking while Soomi sits in Hobis lap and draws with some crayons n' all that

Yoongi comes in lowkey upset, Jin greets him when he walks in with his bag full of all his ☄p r o d u c e r🌸 stuff

(Oh ya,,, no one knows that jin and namjoon are a t h i n g except for Yoongs)

Why is Yoongi upset? You may ask

Cuz Jimin wouldnt answer his fckin phone

And Jimin is one of his rlly good friends that'll listen to his music, see if theres anything to add, and he also listens to Yoongis ideas when it comes to MVs and Choreos n' shit

But Jimin wasnt answering his fricken phone so he kinda mad

So,,, ya boy walks up to Jimin and Hobi who are vv into a talk about dance and how they could hang and do some dancing together

Soomi is drawing a cute little thing of her and her dad and Hobi praises her for her artistic ability cuz omg what

Yoongi comes over irritated,,, full on dagger glares towards Jimin

"Hey Yoongs, didn't expect you to drop by, what's up?" Jimin doesn't even realize he's glaring

Hobi is flustered and s h o c k e d cuz Min Yoongi, aka Agust D is standing there looks hella fricken cute with his big scarf and black coat

But also highkey hot as hell

Yoongi notices Soomi sitting on Hobi's lap and he's like "uhhhh,,,, who tf is this??"

Soomi hops off of Hoseoks lap, eagerly grabbing Yoongi's hand and tugging him closer to Hoseok

"Dad! Dad, come over here! I wanna show you someo— Hobi! why are you so red?!"

Did I mention that Hobi has the smaaaaallest crush on Yoongi (its actually huge I must say)

Yoongi gets a g o o d look at Hobi and he's (mentally) like "who is this angel what the fuck??"

Yoongi, highkey in love, is like, "omg uh,,,, hi, I'm Yoongi" while holding his hand out

Hobi, internally fucking shitting himself, takes his hand and smiles, keeping his c o o l

"Hi, I'm Hoseok,"

Jin calls him over cuz Hobi's break is over and you can like,,,, physically f e e l both Yoongi and Hoseok disappointed

"Well, I'd love to talk more with you but I have to get back to work, see you around Jimin! Bye-bye Soomi!"

Gently pats Soomi's head, waves at the three of them before getting back to work

Yoongi highkey s t a r i n g cuz Hobi is literally fucking g l o w i n g

"Having fun there Yoongi?"

"Who the hell was that and why is he literally shining ??"

Both Jimin and Soomi are giggling while they get ready to leave and Soomi exclaims v e r y loudly

"Dad has a crush, Jiminie! Did you see the way he loo—"

"OKAY SOOMI,,, WE HAVE TO LEAVE, LET'S GO C'MON!"

Yoongi picking her up and almost sprinting out of the damn cafe with Jimin laughing his ass off behind him

Meanwhile behind the counter

Hobi is hot and flushed r e d, Jungkook and Tae highkey teasing the fck outta him , Jin scolding them all to get back to work while also snickering at Hobi's current state

Alright my honey dumplings,,,, I have w a y too many ideas for this au so I'll post a part 2... at some point,,, when I'm not busy....

Anyways, bye, hope u e n j o y e d

#bts #bangtan #yoonseok #sope #min yoongi #jung hoseok #bts suga #bts jhope #bts fanfic #bts au #bts headcanon #bts ships

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

Text

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I would be devastated. Even if we are no longer talking, it would destroy me to know they aren’t on this earth anymore.

Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? not really no. well, I mean I’m happy with a conversation thats happening.

Do you want someone dead? absolutely not

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? if it’s kile we are referring to, yeah. I’m getting a lot better putting it out of my mind. my other exes heckin no except for the other one I loved.

Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? absolutely. we have adopted some from that method ahah

What is something you tend to worry about? people I care about. Like I worry that they’re safe, mentally OK, healthy, etc.

What is something you do that is unhealthy? hold on too long.

What is something you do that is good for you? I talk well about myself usually and I look for positives

What last caused you to force a smile? something in a video i thought was funny

What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? animal crossing. my controllers are SUPER whacked so it wasn’t too fun. I miss playing my games but I can’t afford new controllers yet

What is something not many people know about you? my assaults/history probably. I’m a very private person over all so i think most things people know about me are things they can see.

What word describes your basic style? classic

Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? oh a customer once told me that because they wanted a special ordered crib that day and it was a 12 week wait. so obvs a legit reason -.-

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? .

If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? ..

Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? yessssss

Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? brushing teeth or CHANGING THEIR SHEETS

Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? I made a choice to let go of a love that was destroying me. the motivation was like okay, i’m seeing he doesn’t love me, hes not going to love me. I’m spending my time, energy, and attentions to love him and I could be missing out on someone who loves me back.

What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? sewing

Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? never for me but I’ve gone with friends who were getting them -.- ridiculous

Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? yesssssssssssssssssssssssss and yes

Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? I’ve done that for school but not on my own personally

Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? art, animated shows/movies, games

Is there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? hmm, not really. I like going to tjmaxx & target better if I’m with someone.

Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? for the most part. because its not my money that pays the rent I def don’t get weird about it. but I like most ofit

Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? yes. I really want a particular type of coat but its hard to find.

Who makes you smile the most? hm. ummm... kile made me smile today he was bein a bit crass. it reminded me of how happy he used to make me. he used to be the one BY far that made me smile. these days its fairly even across the board.

What piercings do you want/have? I’d love to have my cartilage pierced again but it always gets infected because of my blood so i’m fine with what I have

What's your favorite website? probs tumblr.

Do you own a fish tank with fish? currently no

Do you like the movie 300? neverseen it.

Do you pop your knuckles? yup all the time

Do you have Photoshop? no its expensive

Do you use tinypic or photobucket? no

What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? if I had the effort I wouldlove to genuinely figure it out but I only have a quarter-butt effort rn

How about the 1990s? ^

Have you won anything recently? nerp.

How often do you make Excel tables? What for? pretty much never.

What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? probably a bunny

Are you always available or online? I’m usually available

Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? gluten sensitivity and dairy sensitivity

Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? I always loved silver because I think it’s so attractive but it turns out gold is VERY nice with my skin tone and since I have had to replace all my fine jewelry from kile with cheap stuff i can afford, i buy pretty much all gold.

Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? I was on a gilmore girls kick but right now im watching bobs burgers.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? i loved when I used to get it done professionally but its literally several hundred dollars and I just don’t have that.

If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. < Same.

Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? yes and no. It would be hypocritical if I said omg yes, you should always be in contact with your parents --- because obviously I never ever ever talk to my dad. But for a lot of people I know.. they put so much blame on their parents for things that are fairly unjustified or unrealistic expectations for their parents to not be human-like and remain perfect. It destroys me because I have spent years crying and aching for a father figure in my life that to think some people just create unnecessary division is frustrating. However, if there is serious conflict and its a matter of safety (physical/mental) then absolutely no problem with boundaries.

Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? hahahaha yes when I look like neither of my parents nor my siblings.

What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? honestly, loving and being loved.

Have you ever grown a berry bush? No

Have you done something new to your hair recently? I chopped about 15 inches off.

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? no. anxiety really has never been a problem for me, thankfully.

One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? rape

What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? i replay conversations from my split with kile despite my desire to forget it.

How often do you have late nights out? pretty much never lol its just not my scene. I’d kind of like one or two a month but I don’t know anyone that would go out with me and it can be unsafe as a female to do so alone.

If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? yes. I’m oriented to pretty strict self-discipline so it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? either a really strong thunderstorm or cooooooooold weather

Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? my motivation is completely there but my health is not

Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? i never remember names of them because i legit tune it out in my head.

Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? I always dreamt of going to college and doing well. I accomplished that (and then some!) I got into my dream colleges. I always wanted to travel by myself and I did. I always wanted to be in love and I was.

Have you ever had food poisoning? Yup.

What are you listening to? the freakin’ funniest song ever in bobs burgers -- the derek dematopolus song

Do you think there will be a WWIII? I would not be surprised. there is a lot of animosity in this world

Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? lol no. i’m a super smiley, happy person so it wouldn’t be expected of me.

Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? definitely. Michael always throws me off my guard that he likes me.

In all honesty, can a person be too nice? people always say yes that they get taken advantage of but I think those are two separate things. I believe you can be endlessly nice even with boundaries. I wish people aired on the side of overly nice than the typical overly rude

Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? in HS Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? absolutely. the effects are devastating

Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? once in a blue moon. but only online

Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? i never really played either

Do you own a rosary? no,I’m not catholic

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nocancer · 4 years

Text

Why It Rains

~~~~ an excerpt from a working novel by Cancer moon. ~~~~~**

Lately I’ve been channeling from a higher source. And it’s not something I have to keep up with. It feels like, natural almost. Like im always at the same level of it, or at least very close. I’m not gonna lie, I was scared at first. Scared that I would fail. Scared that I wouldn’t live up to the expectations I set for myself while meditating. But so far things are looking up. I even got that new computer I wanted. Who knows, for now I’m just gonna keep writing and go from there. I’m not too concerned with the trivial things that life likes to bother us with, seemingly always at the worst times imaginable. I might check out this internet thing too. It’s promoted as this fun happy place and if I didn’t know any better, I’d of taken that for face value, right off the bat like a sucker. Next thing you know the internet turns out to be a cold and lonely place, and I’m left to wallow in my own self-pity, clutching my knees in the fetal position, mad at myself for failing to see the internet for what it is, a stupid marketing scheme. The point is, I have to see for myself. That’s just the type of person I am. You can ask my mom that. She’ll tell you. Ask her about the time I told the guy who was fixing my alternator to shove it when he was trying to charge me a thousand. Mind you, I had the money. But you’re not supposed to be dishonest to me just ‘cause I’m a millenial. The guy pretty much called me that. He said, hey kid, try to be more polite next time. But I never listened. I don’t need advice from a deadbeat greasemonkey. Anyway, apparently everyone’s connected to the cloud via sites like facebook and instagram. And when people log on to jump in on the action, usually the first thing they do is say hi to their friends, and maybe even drop a smile or two to show them they care. And if they drop a heart then you know they already had a chance to settle in, and are just trying to take it to the next level, now that the internet, in all its digital, impermanent page swiping glory, is owned, unabashedly theirs.

Conscious apples of languid rotundity creep along countless borders of a pale grey sky.

The pears are unwavering in the efforts of embassy, initiating calls backs when the time calls for it, and deceit when grape factions step in and intervene.

“What are these meddling affairs, young pear?” asked the grape.

“I don’t know. It’s the apples control our every move. How we live. Our daily lives.”

“Hush with that nonsense. You are nothing but a pear, a young one at that, how could you possibly know who’s behind it all?”

“I don’t know.”

The grape and the young pear sat on a brook and wondered who was behind it all.

-------

You see this all-seeing-eye mural in Atlanta? On the side of Ravine across the street from the federal reserve building? Yeah. I could strip down naked and run to the middle of that intersection there and scream my lungs out until i started coughing up blood and act violent to anyone who approached me and i still wouldnt match the frequency of that demonic shit. People walk by it everyday going to work, going to lunch, going to walk their dog, and nobody bats an eye. An eye for the government, an eye for the media, an eye for world hunger. Not a single raised eyebrow goes towards whats in control of every aspect of their daily lives. Oh the president controls my life. But I voted for him, so its okay. Is what they would say, as they munched on Mcdonalds with vaccines in their arms and got mad at traffic because they were going to miss their favorite show. A show that retroactively fed into a never ending problem and response feedback loop that activates the reptilian part of the brain by broadcasting images of rape and pedophilia via techniques that the producers learned at Harvard’s school of broadcasting, which also used a system of coercion, this time in the blind trust the students had for their professors just because they dressed nice and said big words. You’re going places. This kid’s gonna be a star.

-----

I’m only half of what I am without your other half to complete me. Only kids ask rhetorical questions. But why should I be any different?

I live by the way side. Wherever the wind takes me. I notice things that most don’t. I’m not sure if what I think is valid or not. I don’t believe anything is valid. Likewise I dont believe anything is invalid. One things for sure. If there’s one thing I know to be true. Is that I’m not an adult. No, Definitely not.

-----------

Hiksos lamented blast fully daring the credence of all his undoing. Unjust and bashful forwritten to layers upong layers of drug smitten landscapes.

“Youre good/” Said Jamie.

I see why she likes so much to hate on anyone she can get her hands on. And im not talking about physical hands. No, these are claws of misfortune. --The bad falls into a category still undefined by our human grasp.--

Apples on seminoles. Berries on amazing places we strove for.

The graveyard was pure and unassuming as a place for the dead should very well be. And with that we took our ritual to newer, more fulfilling levels. Levels of which determine our outlook as shades between optimistic and cautiously realistic. With our futures in the balance,

“Whatchu think dawg?” said Jerry. He was on his 2nd beer and 5th shot of vodka sprite. and I was on my mind long enough for nothing to be worth a damn. The vibe was dull, and the smoke gone. I lit a cigarette.

“I feel like shit.”

“You good?” J

“Yeah but I’m just tired like overall.” About life.

“Why not be happy about life? It’s all in your head. Just flip the switch. Like a light. On and off. Boom. No more stress.” J

“If only if it were that easy.”

“It is that easy. That’s the thing.”

Sipping heroically, going farther and phasing out all menial contrivances. Searching for myself like the lost land of atlantis. Humanity will get what it deserves.

“In due time” said Thomas.

I look at orion and wonder if those faint stars below its belt are actually indicative of a warrior kneeling on one knee with his shield raised or if its a flaccid penis that hangs all the way down to his knee. Im a pervert, always have been. Theres no stopping how much i will crash thoughtforms together in a heinous way until they stick together and form a common truth. I’m on the last life cycle of a cat’s 9 lives. Theres really nothing to lose by being a pervert. I had a friend in high school who said we’re all gay. I dont remember when. He said it more than once. I dont know if he was gay. I didnt think like that back then, but I wouldn’t to be anything other than who I am today. But again, there’s no stopping a mind so spiritual that it can hold each and every possibility at once and consider them valid. Then an external force canceling out my infinity. And I’m left to deal with people as if playing some sick little game thats suppose to teach me a lesson or something. So that I can ascend to the next plane of existence. At least thats what I’ve heard. But when the night hits and everyone finally shuts up for once it seems much simpler than that. Like im watching myself through a lens bestowed on me by a god with no intelligence. And during the day he becomes intelligent, and I’m left trying to keep up with, on his terms. “Fuck you bitch” I tell it often. “Youre not real” I’d say over and over. “What the fuck” is the saying that gives closure to it all. The only reason God looks good on paper is because it’s a testament to the author being strong enough to have it in his mind and make sense of it. It’s a mark people wear like aushwitz that make their beliefs somehow something you should pay attention to because I’m physical and God’s not but I speak of God so therefore God’s physical so you should listen to me. But then thatd make the speaker God.

By and by I’ve messed up hastily my dreams and aspirations. Tattooed on a building as ink drips down like an inner angst perceiving things as they are, and not what society says they should be. The happy medium an ephemeral code that could shift and shake into any causality one deems it to. The rulers of the world have taken domain over the one thing every human on earth has in common. I call this desire. They call it money. A body that begets greed and turns hatred to lust. Actions which motivate our inhibitions to phantasmagoria. Until we accept our place as lesser than the pettiness of our common folk. Shy and afraid, contingent upon basement dwelling lab rats who fane logic to reasonable bell curves while sucking nature dry of her own resources. The very nature that sunlight reflects upon his incessant rays which batter and tumble the distance. If only they knew she was her and he was them. But it doesn’t go like that here. Because if it did, then all karmas coming to a head would get their just due, and we’d be in purgatory. While heaven remained for the gods and earth for the mortals. And nothing can be God except authority to mortals when they’ve been tricked into accepting the state and thus have become it..

What a lovely home indeed. No one could bother me here. Except for the only one’s I knew. Because nobody knows I exist except for those who know me. I’d rather keep it that way. For a streak of doubt can enter me at any time and cause worry for my future. A future still so far away because I lack the initiative to care. Maybe that will change now that I have room to breathe. Just when I thought I was going downhill for good, my dad came around for me. And now I have a responsibility to get me up in the morning. No more waiting in line for luck to befall me in my yoga. The truth is, when reality caved in itself, and I could see the dying whispers in the eyes of those around me, I accepted my estrangement from the happy things in life. My avoidance of the dastardly grotesque was keeping me back this whole time. I like darkness and pitiful efforts of circumstance that vibrate low enough to stay hidden from others, but high enough so that it is detectable by my astral receiver. Two of which is an outward expression of another. The extension of material that is necessary for movement to take place. Before this realization I endured through pain of my own doing.

“How are you?” people would say.

And I never had a response.

Telepathic centrifuges would scan my mind. Taking flight off far off reaches of iniquity. All facets calling upon a microverse for an answer. I an I. Then they’d be gone without hesitation.

“Jerry’s calling” said Thomas.

“for what?” This guy wont leave me alone, I thought.

“I don’t know answer it.”

“Why are you bored?” I said.

“Yes, maybe he has weed.” Said Thomas.

“Ay whatsup man. Me and Thomas we’re just talking about you.”

“Oh word?”

“Yeah and then you call its like divine intervention or something?”

“Yeah thomas was tryna find some weed and you the first person he thought of so you must be doing something right.”

“Yo Thomas.”

“Oh hold up let me put you on speaker.” I said quickly.

“Is Thomas there? Yo Thomas.”

“Jerry, whats good?”

“I got the pack man, I heard you was lookin for a come up. I got the pack man.”

“Aight bet cus im bored as a motherfucka right now ya feel me?”

“It aint my fault.”

“Yo he do gotta big ass house tho I aint gone lie but like shit aint got nothin in it.”

“I just moved here a week ago.”

“So for a whole week- Yo is today Friday?”

“Yeah its Friday.” Who cares? I thought.

“So that’s last Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now Friday, and you still aint got nothin in here but a fridge.”

“You aint even seen the whole house.”

“Nah you know you just in the middle of the carpet with no pillow no blankets or nothin.

And you wake up and go open the fridge and aint nothin in it. Then you go back to sleep.”

“Ay what he dream about?” Jerry said through the phone.

He aint dream about much ‘cept for one occurring dream. Of a fridge, but this time it’s a mini fridge. And its pink and he’s able to move it around, so he takes it up to his room and opens the freezer door just a little so it’s a little crack and he starts beatin it up till he has a wet dream and wakes up.”

“Alright you took it too far. It was kinda funny before but you killed it.”

“Wait, Where’s the fridge now? It’s not in the kitchen?” Jerry said.

“Bruh that’s the thing its just in the middle of the living room not even plugged in or nothin.”

“Jerry I know you so concerned about my god damn fridge but this time dude is lying over here.”

haha

“It’s in my kitchen like a normal person. Like I don’t know I guess you think this shit is funny or something but whatever come through and you can see for yourself.” Don’t talk to him he’s a loser was the attitude I was picking up. I thought they we’re beyond all that and capable of extraneous thought. Oh well, I guess I’m done with these idiots.

No more sitting around all day.

If I can see them for who I want, and not who they really are, it’d make no difference.

It’s a best of both worlds type situation. I just hate that I have to resort to this.

Its a sporadic and unpredictable endeavor that can detach you from life’s depiction. Seemingly framing a purpose in cosmetics among layer-caked mine field of mind clouds. I want to be a positive addition to those around me. And for them to be honest to me in return. Honest because everything around me is a nuisance. And dishonest It’s not necessary to have car insurance, police, governments. This realm is alive. 3 dimensions respective of splashes and 3rd parties. Because of this fact, I must be able to flow freely, grounded in freedom, estranged to control. Last summer when I jumped into the alleghany i felt freer than i have in a long ass time. Jerry asked me if he thought we’d still be here next year. I told him I didn’t want to think about it. That I was enjoying the moment.

“Man fuck that bitch.” T

“What? Who you callin’ a bitch?” J

“You know what I mean.” Thomas smacked his lips.

“I really don’t but whatever.” J

“Yo Jerry did you leave yet?”

“How far away is it? Not too bad right?”

“Nah it’s not too bad you’re like 30 minutes away. You’re in a nice area. Lots of rich people.” J

“Yeah I came up on it. It kinda just happened.”

“Whatchu mean it fell out of the sky?” Jerry asked.

“It’s been in my family for a while and I was lucky enough to be gifted it.” I said.

“That’s dope, you’ll get some good use out of it.”

“Yeah I’ma take advantage of what I got ya know? Make it so anyone can pull up as long as I fuck with them.” I said.

“Thats why I’m comin’ through.

Just say its the spot and I’m there.”

“For sure. But yo, if youre bringing your girl over then bring some pillows and blankets to sleep on cus I only got mine.”

“I need some too.” Thomas joined in.”

“We’ll stop then.” I said reluctantly.

“

“And where are we gonna chill? We can’t just sit on the floor.” Thomas took his eyes off the road.

“Alright, theres a home depot near the chinese place we’ll go their while we wait.” I said.

“Does Home Depot have blankets?” Thomas said like he was so concerned.

“No but they got that outdoor patio section for furniture and shit, So I don’t know we’ll find something.”

“They got mad carhartt jackets for the low low there. You should check them out.”

“Alright I’ll check them out.” The streetlights suspended time in space.

“Yo spicy egg rolls, add it to the list.” Jerry said finally.

“Sounds good.” Thomas replied. There was a pause.

“You headin’ out?” T

“Yeah. I am. Right now.” Jerry responded.

“A’ight I’ll see you when I see you.” T

I interrupted.

“I was gonna get spring rolls instead and we don’t want too many rolls so you want dumplings instead?” The thought popped into my head and I had to get it out.

“I dont really care either way” Jerry said.

“So yes on the dumplings? Pork, Chicken or beef?” I said.

“Dude I really dont give a fuck.”

“A’ight peace.”

“Wait actually get some extra spring rolls. I don’t want my breath to stink.” Jerry was a quick thinker.

“Okay. Peace.”

I ordered the chinese while Thomas turned the radio down.

It was 7:30 on a Friday. Traffic was still out and slow except on the highway. The plaza where Home Depot was sat on an indent so that a perimeter around us denied the sun a chance of bringing light to the inevitable darkness. Highway barricades exalted the east coast away from our position. I closed my eyes and listened to newly formed divinations stemming from a horizontal after-glow. What was AM was now PM. And just as I would prepare for a weekend of contract work, I too was going to do the same for the night. Because Friday was in the air, telling me I was the cause of it.

Thomas pulled into the lot and flicked his cigarette a stop-sign to an array of F150s and pug-faced express vans that sat high enough to deem his reliable, good on gas mileage, crusty seated hand-me-down first-car shit-box a worthy proponent of wu-wei. It was the type of car that doesn’t speak for anything or reflect an image onto its owner other than its being there.

At least this one had a little personality though, fashioned by who was behind the wheel, and the fact that I knew him through drive-ways of careless faces, drive-thrus, and drunken waffle house binges where we kept to ourselves and almost forgot it wouldn’t last. And even though the universe proved its worth to me, I cant help but feel theres in imbalance in my past.

That these were just moments. And days would go by. Blunts would get passed. Pets would die. We’d hope to not hear of our relatives dying, but that would happen to. Cause of death? Old age. It wouldn’t say that on the obituary. It was say something safe like stage 4 cancer or hodgekins lymphona. But everyone knows about the cap put on as at birth. That there’s a limit to how long we get to stay here. Sometimes we’d hear of our friends dying too. But those were rare cases. Few and far between. Unless of course you were the type of kid to attract that sort of stuff. Then you probably deserved it anyway. That pain. Irregardless of the pain it takes to die. You imagine how it must have felt in the body of your friend. Like they we’re on the otherside begging you to come with them. I’m free. They’d say. It only hurts a little. And unlike the old people, their obituary would read suicide. Basically an off-hand way of saying they needed jesus. Because in the end, nobody truly knows what would drive someone to do that to themselves. We can speculate all we want. They we’re bipolar. They wore funny clothes to school and we’re bullied as a result. But only someone with special access could consult them on that. To ask them why they denied life and chose death instead. Only someone who could be objective about the whole thing and not get caught up in their emotions could ask them this. In America that’s Jesus, God of funeral homes, shepherd of lost souls. The frustrating part, at least to me, is that all he can come up with is it was Satan’s fault. But that doesn’t do it for me. No. I need more than that. After all, Jesus, you faked your own death and ran away to the pyrynees. Did you not? You we’re too afraid to commit suicide. You half-assed your commitment. Maybe you knew what awaited you resembled a sleepless dream? Certainly you knew another part of you was fit for ascension. But then wouldn’t be the center of attention like you we’re on earth. You’d be around people who knew a light language and we’re just as smart as you, if not smarter. The applied principles of the sun was common knowledge there. That was like basic shit. Nobody was looking for preachers there. What they we’re looking for was way more advanced than your little yoga techniques. Stop hiding and tell us what’s really going on out here. Something tells me it has something to do with Satan, just not in the way you’re telling us. I have a feeling he holds the keys to a piece of knowledge we never even knew existed. If that’s the case, and I find out we’ve been duped, then I might just take it upon myself and offer you the same fate you offered my friend when he was down bad on that fateful Spring night mad at the world and pissed off at the hypocrisy you created for him. But this time when I get to you I’ll make sure you won’t be down bad. There will be nothing to numb the pain. No. You’re gonna feel this. Then things will come full circle. Order. I like when things happen that way.

“Yo I need paint. “

“ Paint?”

“I just remembered. For the walls.” I said in a descending volume.

We walked through the doors in the purgatory between store and street. I grabbed a cart.

“Is that what we’re gonna do for fun? Man I might regret this whole night if we end up hanging dry-wall and shit.”

“I hear you bro but we can play poker, I got a speaker so we can bump some music, and we’ll just kick it.”

Thomas strayed passed the check-out lines and almost ran into a stack of wood hanging from a guy’s trolley.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“Where’s the paint?” He said turning around.

We looked like we should be in the city rather than the hardware store. Everyone was looking and I know I’m not paranoid when I say that. We we’re foreigners visiting a small scale metropolis under construction. A place for bandits to face their acrophobia and not make it across to the next tower without getting grime on their gats ort hope they liked our style.

"They got krylons?" I said. The aisle opened up where the rafters stretched through the ceiling leaving ground level two by fours in their dust. If I focused I could hear an echo reverberate off my skull, taking its merry time and judging me before I could hold my breath. “We used to be so into this.” Thomas said.

“I don’t know why we stopped.” I said. He took it as a valid question.

“We got older I guess. Fuck.”

“Remember the overpass on Holcomb Bridge? I wonder if our shits still there.”

“We need to go back there.”

Gum soles in an unfinished basement. This was the most people I’ve ever seen. a’ve ever seen. The fire marshall could’ve came knocking any moment. Though I don’t think anybody would hear him. Lil Pump was 3 doors down. To the fire marshall, is that everyone was moving as one. To the fire marshal, this could be a good or bad thing in the lens of a fire marshall. Good because if someone started popping shots off with an uzi or something and everyone tried to run out the house through the basement side-door, the main one through the hall at the back by the bathroom, or if they went up stairs and found the wrong door and had to jump off the balcony or something, if shit really started to pop off like this, of shit really hit the fan, then it’d be good to have 1 body instead of a hundred. There we’re straddlers of course, but all they’d have to do is hide in its belly folds and hope to not get lost while the body was hauling ass down the street resorting to the dreaded question, “Can I get a ride?” And simply put it’d be bad because human flesh burns quite well when laced with alcohol. That was a risk we were willing to take and that brought us that much closer together.

When I came in with Katie I noticed the crystalline qualities of blonde hair captivated the vibe and were on display in the trim lining. When you looked across it was like some secret edition of the yearbook where everyone didn’t have to pretend they liked each other.

Only this time there were no profiles, only shadows. And instead of signatures there were tattoos on skin that said things like “im too good for you” and “the sky is watching.”

What collected at the corners were pushed outside to observe that ways a part equidistant to the cups on the table to the enthusiasm among them. This was inside. Everyone needed to make sense and not be meta. You couldn’t point out how we were all here by chance like Tommy did, “xxxxxxx” What an idiot. You couldn’t speculate as to why Rhea spent the whole month showing out for sympathy on twitter and crying at school over her breakup with Nick but is now falling on top of him, grabbing his arm and shit and Nick’s just going with it like he doesn’t care his best friend got sucked off by yours truly in front of everyone at last weeks party and he was there and she was there and it was all fine like nothing happened. “Well Nick got with Mercedes, and her and Rhea ignore each other now. It’s really awkward.” Despite the fakeness, there was an heir of trust unlike any ive ever seen here unlike back at school where we’d be leaning into our cheeks thinking about how to score more brownie points with the cliques we were in.

At least that’s what others were thinking about. The teacher’d be talking about solving for y for the millionth time, you know, moving things around by reverse operations to make sure they maintained the same relationship with one another. I never had to study because when it came time to test it’d be like the answers’d just come to me and I’d end up acing the damn thing. I became known as a smart person who didn’t care so everything canceled out and I was able to stay neutral and move between the punks to get drugs, the nerds to get power, and the popular kids to get access to parties like the one I was at now. I know this all sounds vain, but I guess that’s how it works when you’re a teenager still trying to find yourself when everyone else was doing the same but would rather die then admit it. Now that I look back I realize the whole thing was meaningless. There was no substance, no fulfillment. High School was mostly waiting with small pockets of being thrust into the limelight. Just a series of empty promises leading nowhere. You could of met your better half completely in the midst of knowing each other at a soul level but all indications were that it wouldn’t last so you made excuses and broke it off before it was too late so that your future could be at least bearable when you we’re laying in your cheeks mad at the world wondering why you were the only thing you could think about. You could rest your heart on your decision. The sex flashbacks at the most random times like talking to your grandma or waiting in line at the grocery store didn’t matter anymore. You could put it all on that. Your decision.

“Daniel, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Likewise Sharlene, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh how sweet of you to say that to me.”

“Wait, why are you guys being so formal?” Katie said like she overheard.

“We should stop.” Sharlene said. Daniel was taller than all of them.

“How was your day?” His eyes got bigger. Crazy.

“Did you have a good day?” Leaning forward with his back against the counter.

“I did have a good day.” Sharlene said. “Did you?” She put her hand up and when she realized this she snapped them across her face and into his.

“Mr. Sassy?”

“Mr. Sassy!” Some dude in a hat with lettuce coming out said.

These we’re the types of exchanges that went on inside. Loud but cold. All in the vain of attention seeking like some sort of competition or test of brilliance. Only that this time unlike in normal society, where everyone’s trying to get their point across as clear and concise as possible because focus is king over style, this time brilliance was a stage of show. And whoever could hold onto it the longest was most certainly king or queen and surely the apple of their eye. Their being the cult that was the inside.

The 5 of us ended up by an air conditioning unit. We were staring at the moon thinking about what do next because we were already exhausted. Not because we weren’t faded enough. It was quite the opposite. There was too much judgment. And that was as bad of a high you could get when you were on the other end of it. We were over it. We were desperately passing a blunt I’d been eager to light since I rolled it in the car.

“I needed this.” Jerry said.

“Yeah? Me too.” I looked at Katie. She’s the one I rolled it with earlier in the day when 4 different people we’re blowing up my phone asking if I was coming and telling me who I could bring or not.

“I don’t know it’s just like the vibe or something. Like something’s off.” Tom said.

Katie was mostly quiet and sipping the blunt with her cute little hands and was gravitating towards Miranda in a nonverbal display of boredom.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Jerry said.

“We really don’t.” I agreed.

“Talk about what?” I’m just saying.” Thomas said after a pause.

“Yeah I know but I’m not about to go behind their backs and gossip like we’re not fuckin’ with it thats cool we can do our own shit.”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“Is there anything close?”

“You tryna go to waffle house?”

Katie and Miranda laughed. First Katie snorted then Miranda bent over and held her knees.

“What are y’all tryna do?”

“Uhh can we just get out of here?” Katie said towards the street.

“Yeah. Let’s walk.” I said.

You left your memories with me.

So you could live without you.

You left your past in the dark, and

it was something you did for the hell of it because life

was too easy for you.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"Leave with me." You said.

"Is something bothering you?" I said.

"No." You were always in the dark.

"Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but here."

"I can't tell if you're being serious." You threw a rock

down the train tracks, and pointed where I was looking.

"That way's North to Chattanooga." You turned around.

I leaned to the side as if I was peeking down a narrow

hallway.

"South to Miami. Hmm. It depends." You said rubbing your chin.

"It depends on you finding a girlfriend so you can get back to reality is what it depends on." I said.

I dont think a single car

drove by since we got here. Moving trucks could be seen on the overpass where the crossing signals were, but were inaudible. The only thing audible was the large-scale kithen across the street which would hiss occasionally over its constant hum. It also had steam coming out of it. We walked towards the red-light on stones half the size of our trainers and went to balancing on the rail half to avoid twisting our ankles and half to ammuse ourselves.

"I was gonna say it depends on what's better, a good ol' country bitch who'll cook you catfish till you cant eat no more, or a bad spanish mommy who may or may not be there for you when you really need it."

"Oh, si senorita Hot like tamales. Muy bueno.

Como te amos rapido rapido mucho Miami me gusto."

"Bro we're hopping trains not borders

you fucking wetback."

"Whoa, hold up ese, you're hopping trains, not me.

Besides, we'll be hopping on a lot more than trains

if we keep this up." I said.

"Trains not borders, puto."

"Man watch your mouth."

"Here comes one now."

ijijiijjiiji

We hid in the bushes. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Me fist then the girls and Jerry while Thomas was last in..

"We should of put a coin on their,:

*End graveyard party and go into chapter about family* BONES laden arrows

----

Just say its the spot and I’m there.

“Jerry just texted me.” I said to Thomas.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s bringing Erica.”

“Why was it even a question?” Thomas said. He was flipping his head back and forth at me. Zig-zagging from hinges to nails to glue guns and floor tiles, biding his time, sulking like i was gonna feel sorry for him.

“I don’t know man. I’m sure it had something to do with his roommates not being out.” I said.

“Well if his initial reaction was him being scared then what that tell you about what he think of us?”

“Nah. You’re thinking too far into it. He’s tryna get her to let him hit.”

So much was out of context. There was disharmony. I continued.

“Maybe there’s something about two dudes without girlfriends that isn’t exactly the most potent

“

Smoke stacks comply and hesitate partaking in sport. Indulging in an aptitude that continues to see how it feels when you say such simple words as “hello, and, thats cool.” That continues to touch a nonverbal membrane when you move in such a way that broke the color barrier between black and white. So I’ll appreciate you like all the others do. Because I, completely and utterly, should know to carry you with me into infinity. And I should know, for a fact, that distance is dependant on its terminal velocity at the moment of impact. Gorgeous you are when tulips gather around cow pastures only to wither away upon the changing of the guard. Tip toes, necromancy, ice skates, all these make sense to me now, that ever since the day of my christening, good beings struck witherto my intelligence and rendered them useless. These knots, the qualities of which we’re twisted, utterly finagled to a degree that crystallized under pressure. I feel like I was born so I could come into people’s live when they needed someone to blame their problems on. That’s why I always get those stupid looks. Sometimes I just wanna ask them like “what the fuck are you on?” I guess all those diamonds couldnt teleport you out of here huh? Too bad. I ain’t judgin’.

knotted in purpose.

Oh how I looked on in brevity the callus threads that stretched for miles upon miles into causeways of blindness which overtook me in haste. Very painstaken I was in the trials before then. But now I see the reason for them. For nothing could have felt better than to be relieved of all that built up stress which churned and churned until a mechanism of ventricles let go in common translation. Like ruminating gats and dust swipers caged so discreetly so as to fixate on unto sizzling barge-heads. Almost as if silly esquires of desperately manifold doldrums exist solely to highlight the difference of deceit and merry. the difference of you, a you, and I, an I.

“Man I need blankets.” Thomas said.

“Pillows too.” I said tracing the outer perimeter of Home Depot.

Them Carharrts nice too. Our eyes met at the rack.

“I bet you could fit a gun inside this.” Thomas said feeling the durability of a canvas hoodie in brown.

“No I don’t have a gun.”

“You should get one.”

“They got em here?”

We fell out of the portal.

____________

Vicious bar flies and scarcities falsify the other-half.

“It is settled” said Chief Wallitzer

“Then buy more plankton from the Chief” A creature said. Decrepit. Monsteral. Lectivicious. The creature continued.

“And as soon as I stray a lochness is when the fortifications manifest wholly and without contempt.” I must ignore him.

“What am I to do?” I said on the levy.

“Take a boat from the garter over thine gully there.” Said the Chief.

And I summoned a boat from his power.

“I’m crossing.” I said under my breathe. I said aloud.

“Bless you Chief! Aye. May good fortune amass in your possession!” Because realization finally hit me, that I was to join my comrades in battle, once and for all.

“Aye, and to not flee as well.” This was the last I ever heard of the Chief.

--------

Today I’m going to buy a car.

Anxiety is a MK Ultra Mind Control Tactic (designed to keep humans subordinate to the matrix) ((which is ran by the 10%))

(((who answer to archonic entities from the 4th dimension)))

Logical reasoning is when an internal problem is identified as separate from the self so that it may not be subject to the whims of ego, which is fleeting and irregular, and stems from an evolutionary need for man to keep desiring more and more mates to reproduce offspring with so that his tribe grows strong in number as opposed to getting complacent with having one or few mates, retiring from the world, and letting him and/or his offspring die without a big enough tribe to defend them from bigger tribes with more man-power. Humans have advanced beyond the need to reproduce. In fact, Over-population is an existential threat to the continuation of humans on Earth. Because of this there should be no desire to reproduce. However, there is still a desire to reproduce. This is because the consequences of over-population like famine, disease, and global warming have yet to be internalized by most humans. Once it does, there will be no desire to reproduce, and all remaining sub-strata will go too. These remaining sub-strata include love, greed, and status all begotten from the main desire of humans, which is to reproduce. The reason that is

The main desire of humans is that humans want to survive. If humans didn’t want to survive they’d be dead. If humans we’re dead they wouldn’t be living. And if humans weren’t living they wouldn’t exist. Additionally, If humans didn’t exist they’d be nothing. And If humans were nothing they wouldn’t be something. Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards the very notion of being something

with the very notion of that word and all the associations it comes with,

Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards being something,

knowing full-well the associations it comes with, then humans would be refusing their ego, which is fleeting and irregular.

Once this desire (to reproduce) is gone, then allser forms of this desire like

and not get his needs are met

be processed in an objective manner, and not subject to whims of ego

solutions can be formulated in an objective context, and the solutions necessary to overcoming that problem, may not be weighed against emotion, which is fleeting and irregular.

and it’s existential

consequences, both good and bad, can be weighed objectively against

solutions that are based in reality

The distinction between needs and desires is a matter of time. Needs are immediate. Desires are built up over time.

The distinction between needs and desires is, in fact, only a matter of time

Anxiety needs to be alleviated when there’s not enough time, but it should anxiety will be alleviated because their is time. .

^^^^^^^^^cap*********

*********************

Anxiety is when an internal problem needs to be alleviated. Its just that the actions required to alleviate said problem seem far off and distant. So much that you begin doubting your abilities as a measly human and turn to a god instead. When this god doesnt fix your problems your anxiety is compounded heavily. Because you have one more problem than you started with. If you couldnt hold a candle to your first problem, being as their solutions were so far out and demanded too much in a short amount of time, then now you got a doozy on your hands. All we can ask for is perfection, and hope we come up short.

********************

************

//All God can ask for is perfection. That’s why he doesn’t relate to us.// If you had a bag that led to another bag you wouldn’t keep the first bag cus it’d already be in the second one. These are the ancestors working behind the scenes.

then what makes you think

Our teachers taught us proper sentence structure in the third grade. A subject followed by a predicate. The subject is invoked and the predicate carries the burden like a hag witch carries it and thus justifying the subject so that it is not floating in space, susceptible to being bothered by minds whose job it is to question things that float in space for no other reason other than to not have a purpose, and stand as a monument against all these grammar nazis stand for. So viciously chaotic, free in its lightness, completely unencumbered by menial contrivances of formality, it seems, are these subjects without predicates stand unapologetically in the vast concourses of space as monuments against all they stand for. The problem is that words can only do so much when describing a subject. Whether it is a noun or pronoun, abstract or not, a person, place, thing, or idea, it could even be an interjection, the problem is words can only do so much for describing the essence of a thing, the unseen force which discerns certain vibrations as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency at which the brain can perceive.

certain things as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency that vibrates at a rate at which the human brain can process through its hypothalamus and perceive them as things in the 3rd dimension.

apart from the rest is limitless when not bound by words, which can only be deduced as a lesser form of magic.

Thomas and I see the same things. Ever since our childhoods we were never separated. And even if we we’re, or it appeared as if we we’re, we always had the same eyes. Not just the same view, but the same eyes. I don’t mean that these eyes were like detachable lenses, that could be passed around to and fro like a can on a string, I mean that we’ve had the same experiences, just in different forms. And if we ever shared a difference of opinion, which happened a lot, like with this Erica thing, I never had to worry about things getting heated. Because no matter what, I could always fall back on us letting things calm down for a while, alone in our rooms leaning into our cheeks trying not to think about it. until both of us realized we were coming.from the same place, and that where, and to what degree we took it to, was ultimately meaningless.

I must be going now. It’s getting late. What time is it? 2:30? Jesus. Fuck. That’s later than I thought. Already? Oh well. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Anyway. What I wanna talk about is how fucked up you look to me, and I don’t know if you see that. I mean, if you can see what I see. Dread, angst, all of mine and your miseries seem to have burdened you. I want you to know that I’m here. I’m a man. I can fix my own problems. Really. I can. I may not look it but I’m grown. You don’t have to worry about them. Here, look at this picture I took last year. It’s of you and me. Don’t we look so happy? Happy. Is that the right word? Or maybe we’re crumbing for our last breathe of smile in us. Fuck. I’m beginning to think that’s true the more and more I think about it. Because you we’re never happy. Neither was I. But that wasn’t the goal for us like it is for so many others. No. We just wanted to get by. And that’s all we could ever ask for.

--jgcjgcjgcjgcgjc

I wanted to keep this sacred so it’d come across a more genuine when the right person came across it. but now the urge is too strong and the resonance too concentrated for me to dismiss the trailblazing force of circular momentum. And its nice out too. The grass is still damp from yesterday’s rain but not so you couldn’t lie in it. That’s what I did today. That along with thinking. Moving on. I won’t talk about personal experience in this article. The truth is I’m not important. What matters is my guidance. So from now on take my “I’s” as placeholders for something greater. Make it what you want. A parakeet, a landing pad, veganism, law and order, anything. It could even be the universe itself with you and me included. Whatever it is just don’t miss the point that follows this inconspicuous “i” because there is no truth, only different paths to getting there.

The truth is I haven’t been out the house in a few years. Sure there were gaps in between like parties here and there. But even then I was inside myself, leaving people to wonder if I was as social as I looked. Sometimes I was normal, others I was a wallflower. Only rarely did I meet their expectations and become the center of attention. I still remember those moments because I’m preparing for the next time it happens so I can maintain a sense of self better so that I can let it go and channel what comes out of me more freely. Some call this going into the world. I call it getting out the house. Leaving the nest. All those times i was still at home within myself. I never left my shell. There’s no point when that shell is filled with angels.

Language can be tricky. It can be used for yin and yang. It can be used for contuation or stagnation when concerning the path of self and how one wants to judge said self through language so that it may have something ethereal to manifest from. Before I continue I must say that there is a self because any indication of there not being a self relies on the suppusition there there is a self. Perception plays a role too, as in, agreeing or not to accept the definitions of the words you lay on yourself as true or not. The pessimist sees the world as signs and symbols and interprets stimuli af a higher level then the optimist, who is often naieve to the hidden world where everything comes from. This is why pessimists are often dualists. To the optimist it appears they are one-sided because they take them at face-value. Again, they are unable to see the hidden world where everything comes from. Those who fly under the radar appear that way because they are in direct contact with this world so as to filter their thoughts before speaking them. This world is a place pessimists visit often within themselves and rarely show out of. They show out only in dire situations, and that makes their actions that much stronger because they have kept sacred the hidden world where everything comes from so that it is pure and cutting-edge when it comes time to release it upon the known world. Like an endless stream does their wrath come out of them because they’ve been holding it in so long.

Anytime you insert the I into a situation is when a princible of measurement can be applied to you as infinite potential to fail or succeed relative to the third party as the perfect amount of what you needed to be faced with.

with chakra wheels that exist so we can find ourselves in a better light.

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

"Sabrina You're sitting here all working with billionaires and shit all we don't need donations then in the second breath. My kid used second hand from the thrift store! We was so scared going to the store and we thought it waa a trick to get arrested so we got the whole hood and went together and broke down in no smaller than groups of 5 people in each to make sure we would be alright!"

I'm really proud of that. He was scared. They all were. I probably would been, too. But I, the President, Snoopy, and the news and the military on the street said to. So i would been alright but uneasy probably to go until i got home. So I'm really proud they took time to gather forces and protection to defend themselves if something went down. I think that's smart.

He says when they got home they were whooting and hooting and celebrating but before it was like a secret mission to enter Hell and left the elderly and children at home. And they took NOTES giving permission for them to get goods with a list from the little ones with their ages and names and reason why they wouldn't go "scared" or "my dad said" lol

That was very wise and I'm very proud of that.

Matt wrote that as a suggestion so I wss probably sleeping so im glad he looked out for y'all.

Matt said he thought like me, filled up all thr bases then filled in the sidelines so no one could get to center field and catch the pitcher. Cause i taught him war like baseball. Every single person on the planet is our pitchers and the bases and sidelines is us or our plans that stand in for us where we can't be there physically to defend so we have to use what can be consisted of legalization.

Paperwork isn't quite legal from an 8 year old. Because they have to be 18. But a 16 year old can legally work. And a document in a child's hand writing stating i am participating but i have a handicap and should not be excluded from the event gives a voice to an important person.

I was 2 when I became important and working on my own for free. A baby's cry is legal and bruises are, too. Legal enough for a child to go to foster care. So dam right take a document from a child to support and care for the child the way the child wants. Better than how i buy groceries or gifts! Surprise! This is dinner!

Usually my kid is happy tho. Because i listen. Sometimes i mess up but.

But yeah my kid was solely raised on thrift store goods. The only brand new items we had were gifts, diapers, wipes, her bouncer (factory 2u), stroller (Sears), breast pump (Wal-Mart) and bottles and nipples (mixed).

Clothes she didn't get new until she was a toddler and they came from Wal-Mart or factory to you.

I did get her a little fold up sofa new when she was about 9 months and a table and set of 4 chairs when she was one and then later at 4 a kitchen. And all the time Happy Meal toys like 4 times a week.

And now for Christmas she got 4 t-shirts ($80), 2 used books ($7 total), 9 bath bombs ($10) and the Harry Potter wands ($50) so literally less than $150.

There's been Christmas where she has got $1,000 of stuff when i was married with 2 incomes. But i can't work and I only get child support and food stamps. So i started in November and ended on Dec 23.

Usually i start in October. But.. As i get older it starts later..

And she knows, too

New games are from Amazon or eBay used to save money. Sometimes i can get a digital code and have it instantly and if its like just a few bucks more or she been asking a long time ill get it.

Oh and she did get a Christmas sweater i gave her in the beginning of December that was $30 but she doesn't ask for a lot So i got just exactly what she asked and it looked worth $30 on her.

She wanted a coloring book and pajama pants which i didn't get to. But i told her after Christmas. And she's also used to that.

Sometimes it's really the thought that counts. ;)

But definitely yeah. I know Oklahoma couldn't buy online or have things shipped in. But i was happy for them to have shopping sprees.

I was happy i was able to afford my daughter's gifts. Although she didn't get everything she wanted. She got what she wanted and an extra t-shirt that she likes and 2 extra books she was surprised with. And 10 bath bombs when we ran out like a month ago amd only bought one here and there, that's a smile.

I got my Uncle Dad a bunch of little bottles of hot sauce all wrapped in brown paper and bundled together to look like TNT. Little Chris the same box of soft mints he got last year and 2 lighters. Denise white chocolate covered walnuts and Nathaniel caramel M&Ms a big $3 bag. So $25

When used to would be $75 on uncle dad. $35-50 on Denise and then $20-30 on the brothers.

So it's like they appreciate it or i can give nothing is my thought. Usually i do Do better for Nathaniel and Denise but ... I found put who they are so not this year, usually i spend like $10-15 on energy drinks for him. And her a box of Whitman's chocolates.

This year once again I found myself at the register forgetting their shit again, so i just got what was stocked down there. Instead of going back and making an effort.

Then Denise went with my Aunt Cousin Georgia to a foster kid thing and brought home gifts and so I'm just giving them to my kid with some added chocolate covered cashews and eyeliner from Rimmel that was on sale for $3.50. It has nice shit. A makeup bag and a $40 bracelet from Kohls and other makeup in a stocking and some kitten plates. I took the cotton pads for my nail polish removing and the Revlon nail files since she chews. So when she wakes up she will get her "Santa gift" which is actually really a Santa gift. lol

So even I am using free stuff to give my kid.

So there's no shame or anything to hide.

I spend as Much as I can on my kid. Just now I have less to spend.

And I didn't want to ask anyone to get her any thing. Like Denise although i almost did ask her to get a few Harry Potter wands because they were on my mind.

Christmas i think is about that dumb spending of money .... Thats just fun. So while she got books and baths and clothes... She needed that "dumb" fun. Its a child's Christmas right.

And so we are all happy and proud of that. :)

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soobadnoonecanstopher · 7 years

Text

I Give Up Q&A

@daeyeonis

igu was great I cried like every chapter ok fam but- why the hot dog lmao

Im assuming this is for the Q&A since there is a question involved. Dood…why did Hot dog dress up as a hot dog for Halloween? Because chanyeol told her to go for funny over sexy. Why did i choose a hot dog costume? Its the second thing i thought of after a crunchy taco. A friend of mine owns a crunchy taco costume but we are mexican so its a familiar funny food item to us, but i was thinking about my international readers who might be more familiar with a Hot Dog, so i went with that. I literally make this stuff up…i just randomly picked something and then once drunk Yixing referred named her by her costume (was it chapter 21?), well the nickname stuck.

Anon Did anything go down between Baekhyun and Sehun on behind the scenes?

The real conflict between the two came from the bet that the EXO members made about Baekhyun and Hot Dog …they placed secret bets on the day the lovely couple would make up and get back together. Sehun had picked the night of the halloween party so he knew he had to pull out all the stops and use every trick he had up his sleeve In order to win. Sehun knew that Baek was the protective, jealous type and he used that to his advantage, getting Hot Dog good and drunk and hanging around her all night, being as flirty as he could be and making sure that Baekhyun saw all of it. When Baekhyun found out that Sehun got Hot Dog drunk on purpose and hung out with her all night within the eyeline of Baekhyun, just so that they would makeup that night and Sehun would win the bet, Baekhyun didn’t speak with Sehun for a whole week. At that point though it was kind of hard for Baek to stay mad when he and Hot Dog had made up and that happiness was so all consuming. Baek forgave Sehun after some expert whining and groveling.

Anon So…. does Junmyeon ever approve of Baek and Hot Dog’s relationship

Junmyeon approved after he met her during the dinner with Chanyeol. He found her to be intelligent and level headed and seeing the efforts she made to fight for their relationship after the breakup really made a good impression on him. He still makes sure to remind everyone of the importance of discretion and avoiding scandals, but he considers her part of the family now.

Anon Do you remember Baekhyun’s small notebook from chapter 19?? “You turned quickly and grabbed the small notebook you had resisted earlier off his nightstand and lifted it up…” Can you tell us now😅

Anon What about the notebook in chapter 19? What’s its secret? epilogue dood

Anon @ hotdog; did u get to read whatever was written on baek’s lil notebook?

the notebook will be in the epilogue.

Anon how many time passed from chapter 1 to chapter 28?

@jhopeismybutthole What amount of time did IGU take place in? Did main character hangout with other exo members after the costume party? Did baekhyun ask main characters dad for his blessing before officially proposing?

Baek and HD met in March of 2016, They celebrated their 100 day anniversary in July. Broke up around 200 days in October and got married just after their 300 day anniversary in January of 2017. :D

Things were a tiny bit awkward for HD and the other EXO members after the costume party. That was the night Baek and HD officially made up and Chanyeol, among other members heard them make up. It took a good couple of days before she could even look Chanyeol in the eye after that, but they all assured her that it was nothing that hadnt happened in the dorms before. Sehun was just happy to have won the bet. Kyungsoo was hoping Hot Dog and Baekhyun would work out because Baekhyun was far less annoying when he was in a relationship than when he was single, and Jongin always made it a point to strike up conversations with her when she was around. Just because they made up didn’t mean it was time for HD to neglect her super affectionate, rather needy boyfriend, and she continued to spend as much time with him during his off time as possible.

Baekhyun didn’t ask her father for permission to marry her. His reasoning was, they were already married, and it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. What’s done was done and he figured they were both about to be in a shit load of trouble anway, they might as well just go all the way.

Anon From where do you get ideas for the upcoming chapters?? I mean what you done with BHXHD in IGU I apparently wanted to know FROM WHERE you get the ideas btw I love you dood

From wheeeeeere? From my brain dood. I tend to pull from the living world around me. I’m always paying attention to things and people, plus i also have a degree in psychology so i have a pretty good understanding of human behavior. I read a lot so i understand how stories are structured and i write the kinds of things that i would enjoy reading myself, so usually these things translate well into my stories. I also listen to lots of music and find inspiration in nearly everything i watch and hear.

One of my most helpful brainstorming methods is talking the plot out with a friend. I have two people that i like to discuss the stories with and usually this helps me think of things, or ideas for things that i hadn’t considered before. :D

Anon Q&A IGU: Did you have the ending planned from the onset?

Nooo, i never know where im going with these stories when i first start them. Ill usually have a general flow of where i want to go, but its so vague that it usually gets modified along the way. Around chapter 15 i said to myself, okay i need some sort of a plan or this thing will be 100 chapters of all smut and nonsense. It felt like it had no real plot. So i had some ideas and some talks with friends about what would be a fun direction to take it. By chapter 26, i had a definite plan for 27 and 28. But i usually dont plan very hard. I let the story write itself.

Anon Did minah get to go home safe?

Minah did get home safely. Unfortunately the two men she had been eyeing all evening went home with each other so she stumbled home alone and rather grumpy. Her disgruntled mood changed to guilt and worry when she found out what happened with Youngshik and Hot Dog and she vowed to kick him hard in the nuts if she saw him again. She never got the chance before the police took him away to be dealt with.

Anon How will their parents react to that marriage omg.. like are they going to repeat a ceremony for their families and friends or (I can imagine Baek doing this) just showing them a picture from their drunk marriage and being like “we got married c:” ?

This will most likely be addressed in the epilogue.

@peter-pan-princess Is 2AM in the same universe as IGU and All His?

yes, IGU, All His and 2AM are all in the same universe. That means the Jongdae who was dressed as Minseok’s lady at the halloween party, is the same Jongdae who is dating Minhee, Minseok’s sister. And the dress he wore actually belonged to Minhee. She also helped with his makeup. The pictures that were leaked of Jongdae were actually an ex he saw briefly before he got together with Minhee.

Did Sehun ever get over his crush on Hot Dog?

sehun is a brat and he never had a real crush, he’s just a flirty guy who likes girls and likes to see what he can get away with. He’s also not to blame for any of it really, but the shorties Baek and Kyungsoo see him as a little bit of a threat because he’s tall and pretty and the girls seem to like him. Hes unintentionally playing against their insecurities.

@mexbaekhyun DO THEY END UP HAVIG KIDS???? I NEED TO KNOW

This will probably be addressed in the epilogue

Anon a weird question but what’s baek & hd’s fave positions in bed bc i feel like i know but i need a confirmation vdhwbdw

This story was so smutty you know what their favorite positions in bed are. But okay okay. Baekhyun really enjoys watching her during sex, so any position that puts her right into his line of sight is a good position. Not that the others are bad positions, he still likes sex in the shower, sex against the wall, sex with her bent over the kitchen table or the arm of the sofa but his favorite, favorite thing in the world is watching himself disappear over and over again as he sits up on his ankles, rolling his hips. She enjoys being on top and he’s always more than willing to give in to her. The memories of her riding on top of him with her head thrown back as she cums are what gets him through some of the lonelier nights when he’s away on tour.

Anon lmao I was thinking how cute baek would be if he got hotdog knocked up but he’s an idol and that would be like reeeeaaaalllyyy inconvenient but still cute tho. They’re goals 👌👌

Unplanned pregnancies are really inconvenient regardless of one’s profession. HD is super careful to always take her pill every day but honestly, anything is possible and Baekhyun and HotDog’s relationship trend seems to all be about the word “Whoops”…if it happens, it would most likely be unplanned and a very real shock for both of them.

I do honestly believe that Baekhyun would be an amazing and very devoted father and the two would tackle the challenge of parenthood together, despite the obvious inconveniences. :D

#igu #asks

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malelavellan · 7 years

Text

Okay, danaduchy posted some audio from the game (i think?) but @pooka is at a friend’s house and can’t listen to audio rn, so I transcribed it down for them. You can listen to/reblog from danaduchy’s posts, tho.

These are dialogues with Reyes Vidal and Gil Brodie with mRyder, labeled ‘scott’ because Gil calls him Scott by name in the longer (longest) of the audio posts. I’ve linked them below the cut. Bolded are Reyes and Gil, italics are Scott, bold and italics are Jill (Gil’s friend, I’m assuming it’s spelled Jill because Gill and Gil would be funny but weird)

pregnancy cw - Gil’s long audio features frequent mention of having children.

NOTE: you can do w/e you want with my transcription including re-upping for clarity/editing. link back or pm to link where it was posted would be nice, but not needed. audio belongs to danaduchy, tho, as far as im concerned.

REYES (audio one, audio two)

AUDIO ONE

REYES: Want to slip away? Found a great storage room. SCOTT: A storage room? You spoil me. REYES: Sturdy crates, secluded, no interruptions... it'll be like our first date. But better. SCOTT: Down, boy. We've got an audience. REYES: (chuckling) Fine, fine...

-AUDIO TWO-

REYES: I'm starting to think that kiss was more than a distraction? SCOTT: Maybe another kiss...? Just to be sure. REYES: (laughs softly) Now you're just teasing me...

GIL (audio one (longer), audio two)

GIL: Jill's a fertility expert, heads the Initiative CRC. My only real friend from backhome. [unintelligable, sounds like 'I bet 50'?]. GIL: You should meet her! You'll see; she's *amazing*. GIL: 'nother hundred, says if I'm not making babies... I'm part of the problem... we have that kind of relationship. SCOTT: You must be a glutton for punishment. GIL: Nah, she's like family. Supports me unconditionally. We just ride each other like that.

GIL: Question for you. SCOTT: Shoot. GIL: When all this craziness is over... you think you'll have kids? SCOTT: In *case* you hadn't noticed, it might be *hard* for me to get pregnant. GIL: [noise, sounds like 'ish' or 'sheesh', maybe cut off end of another word] The biological imperitive is *kind* of a *bummer*. SCOTT: Why is *that* on your mind? GIL: Jill, the best friend I mentioned while I was thrashing at poker, she's starting the Initiative's first repopulation effort at [sounds like 'Pedroma's?]. It's all she can talk about. GIL: Jill's right. At some point soon, we better get busy making babies. It got me thinking... at the end of the day, this whole Andromeda Initiative, we're *basically* here to spawn.

GIL: Oh good! You're here. SCOTT: Looking forward to meeting Jill. GIL: She's here restarting procreation protocols, reversing the chemical procreation blockers for colonists. Calls it 'boosting the batter'. GIL: Jill's especially excited since Meredian's up and running and things have settled down a little. SCOTT: That *is* what she's here to do. The woman takes her job seriously. GIL: She's gonna talk your ear off about your civic duty as a man. SCOTT: Then she'll find out what a skillful topic changer I am. GIL: Good luck with that. The woman's tenacious. It *does* bring something to mind about us, though. SCOTT: Us? GIL: Yeah. So, listen.. she's only got a minute or two, and she's in rare form today, just to warn you. So I have to know: do I introduce you to Jill as my friend who likes to flirt, or my... guy? GIL: So? What do you say? SCOTT: I don't know... chemistry really matters... and we haven't even *kissed*... GIL: We can remedy that right now...

GIL: Yeah! When I'm this attracted to someone, and they seem this receptive, normally... things start happening. SCOTT: I'm your guy, Gil. GIL: Alright, then! Let's get this over with. I mean. Get this show on the road. Not that this is an *act* - !

JILL: Am I... interrupting something? GIL: Ah! Jill, about time. This is - JILL: Save it. I asked you both to stop by, remember? Ryder? Pleasure. I know we're all very busy, so I have only *one* question for you. SCOTT: Now MIGHT not be the best time for me to donate some DNA. JILL: You baby. I see my reputation precedes me. The question is... what the *hell* did you do to him? It's like he's an ADULT or something? SCOTT: I have *nothing* to do with it. It's all him. JILL: I call bullshit on that? It's DEFINITELY you're influence. Something. He can even have a mature conversation without it degrading into potshots. Unless... *I* take it there. What's your secret? SCOTT: I sneaked into the stasis pods and switched him with another baby. GIL: Maybe all those years you *thought* you knew me, you were sadly mistaken. JILL: You wish.

JILL: What are your... intentions with my boy here? SCOTT: I'm pretty serious about your boy. He's sorta my guy. SCOTT: [alt. response, maybe] I mean - Gil's MY boy, Jill. Not yours. JILL: Yeah, you really got me, Ryder. He's a keeper, Gil.

GIL: What? What is it? JILL: Nothing. It's just... I see you two... I have a really good feeling.

GIL: Hey, Scott. So... What do you think of 'Mary' for a girl... or 'Dion' for a boy. SCOTT: Mary, Dion, huh? Mary Dion [Meridian?]? Is that YOUR idea, or Jill's? GIL: Mine, of course! Pretty cool, right? SCOTT: You better get this nonsense out of your system in the next nine months, you know. GIL: Pssht, Mary's gotta have at least ONE fun dad.

-- SHORT AUDIO --

GIL: ...Think before you risk your neck like that again. Our future baby needs BOTH of his or her daddies.

#reyes vidal #gil brodie #scott ryder #mass effect #me:a #me:a spoilers #long post #text heavy

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lilietsblog · 7 years

Text

so much sailor moon liveblog

oh my god is that sound Usagi's alarm clock no fucking wonder she's late every day, I could barely hear it

Umino is it really that hard to tell that when someone's crawling between the rows you shouldn't loudly greet them like for one you aren't really supposed to loudly greet ANYONE in the middle of the lesson, even if they just came through the door normally is he doing this on purpose

I love that Usagi actually noticed the lack of a line to the fortune teller and stopped to chat to him about it the queen is taking care of her kingdom

I wonder if Motoki realizes Usagi's got a crush on him... also Luna wtf rude okay I know saving people but like. they were having a good time and then you just bite Usagi's hand. rude and you don't fucking get to impose your 'mission' on Usagi, her getting home late or not is her issue with her mom, not your 'mission' problem

"You'll never have a boyfriend if you don't act more ladylike" and thus, my hatred for Mamoru was cemented

...I love Usagi's shoes, they are so pretty...

"It's not good to be hanging out after school" wtf why

Umino didn't even get the answer to his 'date' question before he walked away also man Usagi's teacher is really young huh

I have no fucking clue how to manage a full class of kids tbh, this is like a legit nightmare scenario to me

and then Usagi actually runs and confronts the boys breaking windows even after she saw how they acted now. holy shit this girl is nothing if not brave and lol she knows exactly how to handle Umino getting too handsy crying WORKS

and Usagi has been paying enough attention to connect their behavior to the House of Fortune as soon as Luna mentions them being controlled when it's something she actually cares about (like her classmates, god bless this little queen) you can damn fucking well COUNT on Usagi

when I was rewatching Sailor Moon for the first time (at ~17) I was completely of the same mind as Luna, so I didn't notice anything off about her treatment of Usagi but she pretty much bullies her into situation Usagi's rightfully scared of, and like... no fucking wonder Usagi blows her off at any opportunity she gets, Luna has NOT been kind to her

also I absolutely love that this anime doesn't subvert anything, that Usagi sees nothing off about the key phrase to activating her brooch and that she made up her catchphrase herself on the spot because NOBODY fucks with Usagi's friends

also man it's NOT true that Tuxedo Kamen does nothing here. Like yeah he doesn't fight but he gives Usagi the break she needs so much, and she sees her the way she wants to be seen - as a brave warrior who's doing her best. And he distracts her from fear and makes her feel like she can do anything, which, yeah, is what makes all the difference here.

omfg Jadeite signs off as "J-dite" subtle

again and again, Luna starts with reprimanding Usagi for habits that are actually bad for her school perfomance and then veers sharply into "You're a chosen warrior with a very important mission"... without ever actually even explaning what the mission is. She's completely 100% failing to sell Usagi on this. It sounded kind of romantic and cool when Usagi first heard it, but since then Luna only managed to make it sound like a chore and something Usagi must rearrange her entire life for. Propaganda fail.

Usagi's parents are adorable, and her dad is super relatable. I, too, wish to get an illness that would let me just sleep for a while -_- omfg their sweetness defies words im cryin

"What? Usagi's still here?" "I forget" OKAY MAYBE THEY ARE SWEET BUT THEY AREN'T TERRIBLY GOOD PARENTS ARE THEY

"Self study: just study whatever you want" that's a neat trick omfg I gotta remember that

I love how all of Usagi's classmates have completely unique faces. There is definitely a touch of 'recognize the protagonist by her hair', but you can easily tell the others apart, too.

"I hate it. Usagi never listens to what I say" actually Usagi listens to you all the time, she just doesn't LIKE what you're saying. You could maybe put some more effort into that jfc Luna if YOU treated Usagi better maybe she would be happy to see you and offer you milk too -_-

omg Haruna-sensei falls asleep and Usagi's question is "is it that exhausting to be a teacher?" my sweet child <3 Usagi is very, very, very emotionally intelligent and I will fight anyone (yes. yes it is)

Naru you didn't notice Usagi about to walk into the telephone pole either -_- Mamoru why do you have to be an asshole just why

and I love that where Naru instantly falls for his looks and doesn't notice how rude he is Usagi reacts appropriately to his words and actions which every single time are incredibly, annoyingly rude

oh my god I love how Luna is animated sooo much. I never really paid attention before but man there's a spectrum for anime cats and Luna is at the top. the beanies <3

you know Jet is always making fun of how Kunzite is an expert on the teenage girl condition, but Jadeite p much nailed the whole 'midnight DJ' gig too

...nobody other than Usagi noticed that Haruna-sensei wore the flower brooch the queen looks after her kingdom (even if she's failing math)

holy shit the brooches are getting less subtle this WOULD have been noticed before if people were falling asleep from putting them on immediately oh it looks like they get people who get close too, that explains part of it

man no wonder I was head over heels for Jadeite the first time I watched, his voice is AMAZING

okay Usagi's first reaction to Jadeite is that he's dreamy too, glad I'm not alone in that pffft

omg I love how the first thing Usagi does upon arriving this time is not attacking or announcing herself but making use of the radio to warn everyone against the brooches this girl is smart and I will fight

I love that while Usagi ends up screaming and running and not remembering her attack, she has ALREADY saved everyone. Didn't need Tuxedo Kamen for THAT part <3 oh hey looks like he didn't come today at all huh okay and I also love that when Jadeite stops Usagi's tiara her reaction is to charge into melee she sucks at combat, but cowardly she's not <3 ah and HERE comes Tuxedo Kamen right on time to snap Usagi out of her stupor omfg he literally did nothing this time he just scared off Jadeite okay but SARAMADA HO HO HO HO HO HO i can't with this dork omg <3

"Let me read it too" OMFG SENSEI HOW OLD ARE YOU

oh my god Usagi's family SUCKS at being encouraging they don't realize how bad they are making Usagi feel at all (well her brother probably does but he's just an ass) emotional intelligence is nOT a hereditary ability here

...looks like Usagi's classmate friendgroup has an aro ace kid and she's teased for it? idk huh

Umino is a little creep. canon. like in the first episode there was room left for doubt like 'socially clueless' but tbh there's no way to be socially clueless that following a teacher around and taking photos of her in revealing outfits is icky

does Usagi not recognize Jadeite just because he's wearing glasses? okay to be fair they do murk up his face shape

USAGI WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO BULLY A LITTLE KID INTO GIVING YOU HIS FOOD JFC SHE'S REALLY REALLY HUNGRY

why does Mamoru take such a liking to bullying this particular teenage girl good thing Usagi can take this and give back some just jfc WHY

LUNA WHY THAT'S NOT HOW MATH WORKS WHY DO _YOU_ LIKE BULLYING USAGI SO MUCH YOU MAKE A SHIT MENTOR NO WONDER SHE NEVER LISTENS TO YOU

I mean jfc literally Luna first pokes at Usagi's weak point then wonders why she can't get her attention while Usagi is too busy despairing

and Luna literally threatens Usagi into submission with claws x face shit mentor? shit mentor.

"If you fight, you will lose weight!" I mean Luna isn't wrong, fight is a lot of physical exertion but also JFC this is a cheap shot. she is REALLY desperate to get Usagi under her control isn't she

omfg Usagi definitely gets some super strength with her transformation she's not bad at fighting when she tries to she just generally doesn't because they 'WHY AM I HERE WHAT IS THIS' sentiment prevails I can relate to that

hm, so it looks like Jadeite DID get to keep all the energy he harvested, he just stopped getting any more of it

#sailor moon #liliet rewatches sailor moon

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serenequaratz-blog · 6 years

Text

At the other end of the string (Soulmate AU ft. Seventeen Members)

Genre: Fluff with a tiny winy bit of angst

Warnings: Talks about accidents (not really much to worry about like just a hint of it or something)

Wordcount: 5665

Author’s Note: This is my first soulmate Au and I hope you guys like it. Ireally have no other ideas for scenarios, so if you just request anything, it would really matter.

Summary/Preview: Having a general idea of who your soulmate is before you meet them poses a lot of questions. Would you bother meeting up with other people? Would you want to fall in love just for the heck of it? Would you leave the person you love for the person fate chose for you to spend your life with?

Because in this universe, you can hear the music that your soulmate is currently listening to, wherever they are in the world. Like a link between the two of you. An invisible connection. And as a music producer, Jihoon had a lot of say about his soulmate's musical taste.

He picked up on second ring.

"The fuck do you want?"

Jihoon paused, checked to see if he dialed the correct number, and then placed his phone back next to his ear to talk. "Soonyoung?" he asked.

On the other end of the line, Soonyoung shocked himself awake, and dropped his phone in attempt to check that he wasn't drunk enough to hallucinate Jihoon calling him. "Lee Jihoon?" he asked when he managed to maneuver his phone correctly.

"That's me."

"Wha- Are you okay? Where are you? Do you need anything? I'll be right there, I'm ju-"

"Did you just wake up? You sound very drunk."

Soonyoung blinked a few times in effort to clear his thoughts and eyesight. His house was a mess from the party last night, and most of his guests were still where he left them when he passed out, which was mostly on the floor. "I-yeah. It was wild last night," he said.

"I heard," Jihoon said, and Soonyoung could almost hear him smile. "Seungcheol-hyung didn't pick up."

"Considering everything that happened last night, I'd say Seungcheol-hyung had it worst," Soonyoung said and rubbed his eyes. "He was drunk, and still took care of everyone else, and then drank a bit more afterwards."

"A Jeonghan-hyung incident, I'm guessing," Jihoon said.

"Uh-huh. It's a fun story. Want to hear about it?"

Jihoon heard Soonyoung yelp and trip over something, then whisper some apologies to the poor body he just injured.

"That was Jun, sorry. You were saying something?"

"My parents just went home. I wanted to spend some time outside today."

Soonyoung tripped again, but this time he didn't bother picking himself up. "You're going out today? What's up? Are you seriously okay?"

"More than okay," Jihoon said, letting himself laugh. "What time can you get yourself sorted?"

"What time is it?”

"About 3, I think."

"What?"

There was a lot of crashing and yelling on the other line. Jihoon guessed Soonyoung tripped over everyone on the floor when he went to check the clock. That idiot could have just checked his phone, Jihoon thought.

"15 minutes," Soonyoung said.

"I can pick you up," Jihoon offered.

"So your parents did buy you a car," Soonyoung said.

Jihoon let his face drop on his free hand. "Yeah, among other things," he said. "Seungcheol-hyung?"

"We have so much to talk about," Soonyoung said.

"Tell me about it," Jihoon breathed, then smiled. They have so, so much to talk about. "I'll be there in 15."

"See you."

Soonyoung was ready in 10. There was not much to prepare, anyway. He was done after a quick shower, except he had to call for pizza in case the guys woke up hungry and murderous, they have distraction. He prepared sunglasses because he was hungover (and also to annoy Jihoon), although he knew it wouldn't do him any good. They would probably stay inside a café, or a mall. Jihoon's definition of outside was outside his house, and inside somewhere else. Somewhere quiet, and unknown so there will be a few people… like a library.

Soonyoung stopped himself from laughing out loud, trying to imagine his drunk ass in a library.

But the surprise of Jihoon calling him still hadn't worn off even after the shower, it was almost enough to sober him up. Jihoon had never called him before. In fact, Soonyoung was sure he never saw or heard Jihoon calling anyone on the phone before. Not even Seungcheol who'd known Jihoon longer than any of them. He's more of a texting person. His emergencies were three consecutive messages. A short ring, probably, but never a phone call.

Jihoon was in a good mood.

To be fair, if Soonyoung was given a brand-new sedan by his parents, he would be over the moon, too, even if he was soulmate-less.

"It's red," Soonyoung said when Jihoon rolled down his window.

"Too flashy?"

"For your taste. It could be my car for all we know."

Jihoon only grinned. "Mom picked the color. Get in."

Soonyoung made himself comfortable, connecting the aux cord to his phone after disconnecting Jihoon's, then choosing a song before Jihoon could complain. Jihoon looked like he wanted to say something when the music played but decided to keep his mouth shut.

"Passenger gets to choose," he muttered, when Soonyoung then asked for permission to connect his phone.

Conversation consisted mostly of Soonyoung complaining about his headache, and Jihoon amusing him. Jihoon wasn't one to amuse anyone. His mood was too good, it was almost disturbing.

"Are you sure, absolutely sure you're okay? You're scaring me a bit right now," Soonyoung said.

Jihoon glanced quickly to show a smile, "I've never been better. Still a bit pissed about Seungcheol-hyung telling you guys about everything, but I guess he was too drunk last night. Otherwise, I'm grand."

"Wait." Soonyoung paused the music and stared at him. "You called Seungcheol-hyung first. What am I? A Seungcheol-hyung substitute? I'm hurt. You can drop me off over here."

"It's a tunnel."

"You can stop after the tunnel."

Jihoon laughed. "You're not. A Seungcheol-hyung substitute, I mean. A lot happened the past days, like the car, and other good things, and I haven't talked to him in a while… You know what I mean."

"I know exactly what you mean," Soonyoung sulked, and unbuckled his seatbelt. "I'll just throw myself out of the car, then."

"Soonyoung. Now look at what you've done. It's beeping."

Soonyoung put his seatbelt back on, and the beeping sound stopped. Kids and their new cars, he thought. "Why am I not adopted by the Lee family?" Soonyoung asked, his cheek flat on the tinted window beside him. "You should have heard him talk about your dad last night. As if he's really part of your family. He could be Lee Seungcheol and you'd be Choi Jihoon, and it wouldn't make a difference."

Soonyoung knew what Seungcheol meant to Jihoon from all the years of watching the two have silent conversations with their hands. Seungcheol was the only one who can go inside Jihoon's studio without permission and not get killed in the process. Seungcheol was the only one who can pluck an excessively loud-playing earbud off Jihoon's ear when Jihoon didn't want to talk to anyone (which used to be all the time). Seungcheol was the one person Lee Jihoon trusted with his life.

And yet, Soonyoung couldn't help it.

Jihoon wanted to say that Seungcheol was family, he should be, after everything he'd done, but thought better of it since Soonyoung was being difficult.

"Okay, what did I do?" Jihoon asked. "Besides the Seungcheol-hyung thing."

"Not important."

"So there is something."

"It's not im- where are we?"

Jihoon just entered the parking space of an open area that looked vaguely familiar. It had a lot of people loitering around and there were a lot of available activities one could get into.

"A park," Jihoon said.

"I could see that," Soonyoung looked at Jihoon who was only so focused on making his parking perfect. "Why are we here?"

"There's this open café that offers hangover drinks. Jeonghan-hyung said they were great."

Soonyoung sat up straight for a while before slapping his cheeks alternately.

"Ow," Jihoon said, turning off the engine. "That must've hurt."

"And I'm still here. I'm not dreaming."

"And we're getting coffee," Jihoon said after getting his backpack from the backseat. "Let's go."

Soonyoung followed Jihoon, who was unmistakably sunny that day. Even the way he walked and carried himself was different. It was already too hard to stay angry at him, why did he have to be too bubbly (how can that word even be associated with Lee Jihoon?) that day?

"My treat, since I woke you up this afternoon," Jihoon said when Soonyoung told him his order.

Soonyoung stared at him. "You witch."

"Wizard," Jihoon corrected him. "And 'mind-reader' is the specific word you're looking for."

Soonyoung frowned. "Now you're giving me more reasons to be mad at you."

"Go ahead. Do you want cake with your coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Jihoon grinned. "You know your money, Kwon Soonyoung."

"It's not every day Lee Jihoon takes me out on a date. I should make the best of it."

Jihoon considered it, then shrugged. He took their tray then led Soonyoung to the field overlooking the bay and sunset where mats were laid for the customers.

Soonyoung decided he was not angry at Jihoon anymore when he didn't correct him when he said date considering how quick he was to correct him of his magic-related references. That absolute nerd.

"I'm guessing you were dreaming of your soulmate again," Jihoon said when they were comfortable.

"Okay, now I hate you and your mind-reading powers," Soonyoung said before taking a sip on his drink and made a mistake of gasping afterwards. He couldn't help himself. "What kind of voodoo magic is in this thing? Why is it so good?"

"It's Jeonghan-hyung recommended. Nothing but A+ if it's from him. I've always wanted to try them before, but I never had the reason to go out." Jihoon looked satisfied. "And it's not as if you don't go on telling everyone when you have a soulmate-related dream. Seungcheol-hyung never stops talking about it when you do."

"Wow, Seungcheol-hyung is horrible at keeping his mouth shut."

"He just cares too much for all of us," Jihoon looked at him pointedly.

Guess Choi Seungcheol really is number one for Lee Jihoon, Soonyoung thought.

"It's the most vivid one I had," Soonyoung said instead. "Vivid is not a word to describe it, though. How do you describe music like that? Vivid. Sharp. Detailed? Like in 1080- no, 4k resolution."

Jihoon frowned. "You're horrible at this."

"The point is, there was nothing I can see in the dream. It's just me… and the music," Soonyoung said, as if in a trance. "It was magical. I've never heard the song before, I think it's something out of this world. From another language or another planet, I don't know. But it's something different, and something distinct. It's hard to explain. But it was beautiful. Almost haunting. Heartbreaking."

Jihoon took the liberty of eating the first bite of the cake. "So you're mad at me because I woke you from that dream."

Soonyoung scrunched up his nose. "It's not petty."

"I didn't say it was," Jihoon said, sitting up from his side-lying position. "I know how important it is to you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Soonyoung took a breath. "It shouldn't even be a big deal anymore. I should have been over being soulmate-less since a long time ago. And you know how to make up for it," Soonyoung said when Jihoon looked like he was going to say something. "And it was the first time you ever called me. I thought it was an emergency."

Jihoon laughed. "Definitely not. My parents told me to enjoy today and spend a lot, so that's exactly what I'm doing. And I figured you were the other person I can bother since last night."

"Last night was that kind of night," Soonyoung said, and proceeded to tell Jihoon what he missed the night before.

It started fun, and lazy, like how any party their group threw before. Then they started playing Never have I ever, and it became like a confession of some sorts for everyone. Seungkwan and Vernon found out then that they were soulmates.

"That's too obvious, almost unexciting," Jihoon commented.

Vernon found out it was Seungkwan because Seungkwan kept singing too loudly. Hearing singing was rare, but apparently Vernon had it. Jeonghan revealed that he also found out his soulmate was Seokmin because he can hear singing, too.

"Then, Choi Seungcheol went ballistic?" Jihoon guessed.

Soonyoung thought about it. Jihoon realized later that he was trying to remember what happened. "No, not at all. Seungcheol-hyung was classy about it. He even proposed a toast for them. It was Jeonghan-hyung who was like Never have I ever fallen in love with a person who was not my soulmate."

Jihoon laughed. "That devil!"

"So, of course, both of them drank! And then everyone went ballistic."

Seokmin knew about it, of course, but Jeonghan was long over Choi Seungcheol, and both of them were happy, so it wasn't really a problem for the two of them. Seungcheol was still nostalgic about Jeonghan, probably, but he was being a good sport about it. Especially since he already met Joshua. But Joshua drank a shot too, which implied a lot of things. Was he in love with someone else? Was he in love with Jeonghan? Were Joshua and Seungcheol actually soulmates? No one knew.

Then there was this portion where everyone was revealing when they became emotionally aware.

"Everyone was drunk by this time?"

"No one would talk about it otherwise," Soonyoung confirmed.

Seungkwan became emotionally aware when he got into Pledis, and said that Vernon's wide taste of music meant a lot of untimely songs playing during a lot of situations. Vernon, when he dropped out of school to pursue his passion in music. Wonwoo, when he was reading a book, something just clicked inside him, and he thought he was just dreaming up the music. Seokmin, when he got ambushed by dogs in a pet café just a few weeks ago. Joshua, when he confessed to his crush back in the States and found it really weird that he could suddenly hear a Korean song out of nowhere.

"Isn't that why he drank the shot before that?" Jihoon asked.

Soonyoung shrugged. "Who knows with Joshua-hyung? He's a total mask to me."

Seungcheol, when he told Jeonghan he loved him. Jeonghan, when they broke up.

"It was a mutual break up," Jihoon put in.

"It was?" Soonyoung sounded surprised.

"At least, that's what Seungcheol-hyung said. He said they really talked about it, and then they came into a conclusion that the music was there for a reason, and that even though they could try fighting for each other, it might not end up well anyway…"

"Seokmin and Jeonghan-hyung are happy," Soonyoung said.

"They're the only ones," Jihoon pointed out. He'd been with Seungcheol so many nights with the speakers turned up so loudly, anyone can go deaf. To drown out the music, Seungcheol told him.

Soonyoung sighed. "Wish there was a universe where we didn't know who our soulmate is, and we get to live our lives just as we want to."

Jihoon couldn’t help laughing at the absurdity of that thought. "That sounds nice actually."

"Remember that one time when you said you don't mind if you don't meet your soulmate at all?"

Jihoon blinked. "What about it?"

Soonyoung picked on the slice of cake that was almost finished. "You really don't mind? Not meeting your soulmate? Not knowing who that person is at the other end of the string?"

Jihoon thought about it. "I'm curious," he admitted after a while. "And there are a lot of things I'm grateful for that invisible person and their music. I do try guessing sometimes, too. But I feel like my life won't drastically change when I mee- why are you looking at me like that?"

Soonyoung talked fast, despite knowing Jihoon hated it when anyone did. "I have this question that's been bugging me since a while ago, but I feel like you'll kick me in the balls if I ask."

"I'll kick you anyway if you don't ask it now."

"Have you met them already?"

Jihoon paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. "What?"

"I just thought," Soonyoung shrugged. "You were acting differently the whole day, I figured something happened. I thought you may have met your soulmate already. Have you?"

Jihoon laughed so hard, he fell back on the mat.

"What?" Soonyoung asked, when Jihoon calmed down.

"I just remembered," Jihoon said as he sat up, still catching his breath. "There was a time that I thought Seungcheol-hyung was my soulmate."

Soonyoung choked on his coffee, but fortunately didn't make a mess.

"Right?" Jihoon laughed again. "It just so happened that he kept listening to the same songs I was hearing. So for a while, I thought that soulmates didn't have to mean being romantically involved, or ending up with each other, considering Seungcheol-hyung is already like my older brother. Maybe soulmates meant being part of each other's souls, I thought. Like we share parts of each other."

Soonyoung gaped at him. "I like that definition of soulmates better," he said quietly. "That means I can have a soulmate, too. We could be soulmates," he added like an afterthought.

Jihoon let the smile form, feeling grateful despite himself. "We could be."

They played catch and baseball with a few kids in the park afterwards. Jihoon was surprisingly good at the sport and was kind enough to teach the kids what he knew. They ended when the sun was taking a slow dip into the horizon, and the kids already had to go home.

"Didn't know you liked kids," Soonyoung said when they returned to their mat with another batch of coffee.

"I didn't either," Jihoon said, lying on the mat. "What time did you have to go home?"

Soonyoung groaned. "Don't remind me. The guys probably left the house as it is, and I would have to clean it up later."

"Just get someone else to clean it for you if you don't want to," Jihoon said.

"Spoken like a true rich kid," Soonyoung laughed. "So what happened? Your dad got a promotion?"

Jihoon shifted so that Soonyoung can see him beaming. "We've been waiting for that promotion for a long time. It's a pretty big position, and he got the bonuses that were withheld from him for the longest time. My parents came to Seoul to celebrate in such a short notice, but I didn't mind."

"And here I thought you purposely scheduled their visit during our night out because you hated it when people talked over each other and also so you would be exempted from telling sappy emot-- OW," Soonyong laughed, taking Jihoon's straw from him. "Prove me wrong then," Soonyoung challenged. "When did you become emotionally aware?"

Jihoon made a face. "You're really pushing your boundaries today, huh?"

Soonyoung shrugged. "I just felt like I should make the best of today since you're being lenient."

Jihoon sighed. He knew he won't be able to shake Soonyoung off anyway. Especially since he seemed to be determined to sap Jihoon's secrets dry today. "You know for this we need alcohol."

Soonyoung shook his head vigorously. "No, thank you. I had enough alcohol to last me a month."

Jihoon thought about it, then he sat up and said, "You start."

"I thought everyone knew about it," Soonyoung blinked. "My parents used to fight a lot when I was younger. I think, one night was like a boundary point for me that while they were shouting at each other, this music just enveloped me like a shield, so I didn't have to hear them screaming at each other from the other room."

"Then, it just... stopped."

"Yeah," Soonyoung said, sipping from his coffee. "The music usually came during night. It was rare in the morning, and it was a rare special morning that day because I can hear music playing. I don't even remember what song it was, which is still one of my biggest regrets to this day."

Jihoon looked at their empty plate and cups half-filled with coffee between them, then at Soonyoung who was watching the sun.

"The music stopped playing, like when you rip the earphones off your phone suddenly. I thought they just stopped listening to the music for some reason. But then, it was gone. Really gone. I never heard it again."

Soonyoung was squinting at the sun, Jihoon wasn't sure if he was angry at it, or at the world, or he just had really small eyes.

"I still wonder if I make the music up when I do hear it in the very, very rare nights like last night. At least my parents are better now. And I'm a choreographer in this huge company. We're living good. Things get better."

Jihoon nodded. Soonyoung was one of the most optimistic people he knew, and his insight always inspired Jihoon.

Jihoon thought that there was no better time to tell his story than then. "6 years ago," he started. "I got into this huge traffic accident. The bus rolled over, and there were a lot of casualties. My mom was just lying on the street. We thought she was dead."

All of Soonyoung's senses went on high alert. Did he just get Lee Jihoon to talk about his superhero backstory? Despite asking, he assumed Jihoon would only give him a general summary of the story, and Soonyoung wouldn't have minded.

"It's a miracle we survived," Jihoon said. "Then the funniest thing happened. As I was crying over my mom's body in the middle of the street, this obnoxious rock song played in the background like some kind of joke. Let me tell you, my soulmate has horrible music taste."

"So there are those kinds of pairs," Soonyoung said, trying to keep the atmosphere as light as possible since he noticed Jihoon struggle a bit. "People who hate each other's music preference."

"To be fair, I'm really hard to please." Jihoon said, acknowledging Soonyoung's effort with a nod, before continuing slowly. "You and the guys know how my mom's a bit hard of hearing, right? The accident took a lot from us. I had a lot of injuries, myself. And I just got in Pledis that time, it was difficult for me."

He took a breath as he remembered. "But Seungcheol-hyung was there to stop me from doing anything stupid. He kept going to the rehab centers with me, and he learned sign language with me..."

"He's been teaching me, too," Soonyoung said. "It's a good choreography source material."

Jihoon nodded. "We lost a lot of money because of the rehabs and temporary treatments that were never enough," he continued. "But look at us now. My dad just got the promotion we've been hoping for since forever. And it covered a lot of our health insurance. For one, my mom just had surgery to correct her hearing yesterday."

Soonyoung reddened, embarrassed about what he said about Jihoon's parents visiting. "That is great news," he managed to say.

Jihoon smiled. "Things do get better," he finished with a breath of relief.

Jihoon was proud of himself. His doctors had told him before that it was therapeutic to be able to talk about his accident with other people, but he had always been scared of their reaction. Seungcheol was the only one who knew the whole story. Soonyoung could very well be the second one.

"I've always wanted to thank my soulmate," Jihoon said, reaching for his backpack where he packed his laptop. "Their music saved my life quite literally."

"You're setting up your magical producer things," Soonyoung said.

Jihoon looked up from his laptop to give him a quick glare. "I've been writing this song for a while. Seungcheol-hyung had been my ear and critique when I wrote it. It's the first one I've ever actually finished. Company's been lenient with me just collaborating with other producers, but it's time, I think, to show them than I can stand my own. Kind of sappy of me to present a song for my soulmate to them."

"I can't believe Lee Jihoon just called himself sappy."

"Do you want to listen to it or not?"

Soonyoung paused, feeling everything all at once. Mostly surprised. And honored. "You want me…"

"I don't want you. I just want you to listen to it," Jihoon said when Soonyoung didn't continue.

Soonyoung stared at him for a while, and that short moment of silence was almost enough to make Jihoon close his laptop and pedal back. To tell Soonyoung, no. He didn't want Soonyoung to hear it, after all. He didn't have to. It's fine. It's fine. It's fi-

But what Soonyoung said almost made Jihoon laugh at his own insecurities, "You just said it's for your soulmate."

"It's for a lot of people," Jihoon clarified. "I'm presenting it to the company later this week. And I'm guessing my soulmate was the first one to hear it, anyway."

He plugged in his earphones and placed the buds in his ears to quickly run through the song again. He let his parents hear it that morning, and they heard his fears, his vulnerabilities and even his gratitude and his pride. They were proud of him for being able to translate that into his work, and for being able to rise above everything they went through.

It had been an emotional morning for Jihoon. He was glad to have Soonyoung that afternoon.

"Still needs a bit of work," Jihoon said after skipping through the last chorus, then offered one of the earbuds to Soonyoung, who he noticed just now was frozen in place. "Soonyoung?"

Soonyoung turned his head slowly and looked at Jihoon with his eyes wide open. Like it was the first time he ever saw him.

"What?"

"I just realized something incredibly sad," Soonyoung muttered.

Jihoon froze and tried to remember what he had been saying the past few hours. He felt his walls suddenly rebuilding at the thought that Soonyoung must have found out something Jihoon didn't want him to know.

He cursed silently. He didn't know his reaction would still be fear in front his vulnerability. He was glad Soonyoung took his story with ease and didn't look at him with pity. But his demons were there again, creeping on his shoulder, telling he will never be accepted, and he will always be incomplete. No one could possibly…

"What if you find out who your soulmate is, and then it turns out that you're not theirs."

Jihoon remembered how to breathe.

"There could be possibility of that," Soonyoung said with a little frustration. "Someone else could have none. Someone else could have someone else. " Soonyoung puffed out his cheeks, then released the air he held. "It's sad, don't you think?"

Jihoon was overthinking. Overthinking is bad, Jihoon thought.

He repeated these thoughts over his head, before offering the earphones again, both of them this time. "That's incredibly sad, and incredibly random," Jihoon said.

"Can you listen to that one more time, please?" Soonyoung said, visibly backing away from the Jihoon.

"What? Why?"

Soonyoung stood up then walked a little away from where they were originally sitting. "Listen to it," he said, before stopping a few feet away then turning to face Jihoon, blocking the sun behind him.

Jihoon didn't understand the request. There was suddenly too much going on his mind that moment, all his fears and nightmares shouting in his head, reminding him of all the nights he spent awake, imagining what would happen if he told his friends. It never ended pretty.

Nevertheless, Jihoon placed the earphones in his ears. He looked at Soonyoung, who nodded as if signaling him to play it.

Just play it.

He pressed the play button, and for a while, all Jihoon could hear besides the song was his heartbeat. He watched Soonyoung turn into the color of the sunset, and saw his eyes widen at the sound. He was frozen as Soonyoung drop to his knees through the verse. Soonyoung was looking at Jihoon the whole time, and Jihoon couldn't make himself look away.

Then, Soonyoung signed.

It was clumsy, and too full of extra movements, but Jihoon understood.

"Can you turn up the volume?"

Jihoon put it on max, and Soonyoung winced, as if--

Jihoon paused the song in realization.

Soonyoung signed again, this time more slowly. More accurately.

"It's you," he said.

"You can--"

He was suddenly in between Soonyoung's arms.

Soonyoung held him tightly at first then loosened his grip, remembering that Jihoon hated being touched, but he couldn't get himself to let go. He didn't want to. And he was grateful that even though Jihoon didn't reach for him, he didn't push him away either.

"It's you," Soonyoung whispered.

Soonyoung couldn't understand what happened. When Jihoon played the song, Soonyoung thought the song sounded familiar, and was about to ask whether Jihoon played the song to them before. Then he saw that Jihoon was actually listening through his earphones. How loud are those earphones, Soonyoung wondered.

Then it clicked.

"It was the song in my dream," he said.

Jihoon was so overwhelmed he couldn't put into words what he felt. Confusion? Surprise? But mostly peace. Peace in knowing that his demons were wrong. Soonyoung will not run from him.

Jihoon instructed himself to breathe, and then he laughed. It was the most absurd thing to do in the moment of pure emotion, but everything in itself was absurd, now that he thought about it. "Wait, you're the one who played You are My Sunshine on repeat for a week?!"

Soonyoung finally let him go but stayed within arm's length. "And you just called my music taste horrible."

"It is horrible, you monster! How can you listen to a single song on repeat for a whole day? Some songs can go on for a week! What is wrong with you?"

"I am offended!" Soonyoung cried, but he was smiling. "I'm a choreographer. Of course, I have to listen to a song over and over again."

"You had to choreograph You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey?"

"I can't believe you didn't sing that! How can you not sing that?"

They were yelling at each other, and laughing, and smiling and Jihoon realized he had never felt this happy before. And he finally could wrap his head around it. For some reason, it made sense.

Soonyoung is my soulmate.

"Big question," Soonyoung said, sitting closer to him this time.

Jihoon realized that despite being the one of the touchiest person he knew, Soonyoung respected his personal space. He was never too close, and never demanded for hugs, like other people did. Jihoon thought to list all the things he was grateful for this person.

"Why didn't I hear you before? All this time you've been writing songs and music."

Jihoon took a deep breath.

Now or never.

He gingerly reached for the back of his ear, where a little device sat comfortably. He shifted his head so the Soonyoung can see his new best friend. The most important gift he had received from his parents ever since the accident. The one thing Jihoon needed that they couldn't buy for him because they didn't have the money, and Jihoon always wanted that they prioritized his mom.

His hearing aide.

Soonyoung's eyes grew big. "You're--"

"I wrote by eye and memory," Jihoon said, turning to face him again. "And I still hear the vibrations. I feel them. Seungcheol-hyung helped most of the time. I've never really heard any of the songs I've written before this morning, although I got the aid yesterday. I just have a general idea of how they sounded like."

Soonyoung stared at him. "Whoah. What kind of monster are you?"

"The kind that's your soulmate, apparently," Jihoon said, glancing sidewards, and found Soonyoung trying to fight a smile. Jihoon couldn't believe he said that out loud either. "I suppose I should thank you now."

"For my bad taste of music?" Soonyoung cracked up.

Jihoon can't help laughing, too, and then said, "The first few weeks and months after the accident, I couldn't accept it. Imagine a music producer who can't hear a thing." Jihoon heard his voice crack, transported back to those moments again, remembering. "It was more than frustrating. And then You are My Sunshine comes playing along--"

"You are My Sunshine can be our song."

"No," Jihoon said so firmly that Soonyoung had to laugh again.

"But, yeah. Thank you," Jihoon said. "As annoying as your music taste is, it helped a lot. The world didn't feel as dark and quiet as it should have been."

Soonyoung reached over and pinched Jihoon's cheek.

Jihoon closed his eyes in annoyance before slapping the hand away. "You've been wanting to do that."

"You're adorable."

"Just because you're my soulmate doesn't mean you get a free pass on invading my personal space," Jihoon said, and Soonyoung pinched his other cheek.

"I just-" Soonyoung breathed. "I can't believe it's you. All this time I thought I didn't have a soulmate. I thought they died a long time ago."

Jihoon didn't slap the hand this time, and pinching stopped on its own. It became a caress.

"I love the song," Soonyoung said, and let his hand fall.

"I love the sound of your voice," Jihoon said before he could stop himself. "Seungcheol-hyung tried describing how each of you guys sound like, but he's really bad at it."

The orange light of the sun deepened across Soonyoung's cheeks. "When you called this afternoon…" he said.

Jihoon nodded with a short laugh. "That was the first time I ever heard you speak. Your first words are iconic."

Soonyoung chuckled nervously. "I should have tried better."

"And… you were the first person I called. Not Seungcheol-hyung," Jihoon confessed. "This morning I decided I wanted the special people in my life to hear the song, and Seungcheol-hyung already did, so I thought I should call you."

Both of them stared at the setting sun.

"This is not going to make sense," Soonyoung said, without looking at him. "But I think I miss you."

Jihoon smiled. "It makes all the sense in the world. I think I miss you, too."

Soulmate AU inspired by a tumblr post by drowning-in-fandoms and Jihoon being hard of hearing is from another user that I can't credit bc I got them from pinterest don't hate me I swear I love u guys. T^T

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