#listen she’s been a bit better recently and all ‘you’re an adult now im not going to baby you or helicopter you’

[emybain]

my mom watching me open the package with a sweater in it i thought didn’t get delivered but it was hiding on my porch: does it show the stomach?

me holding it up: it was on clearance!

my mom: aaaand it shows the stomach

#AHAJSKOS #i am 19 mother so im going to be a little ✨slut✨ and wear my crop tops and underwear i don’t want to show u #(agashaja i ordered a bra that i did Not want to show her when she was nosy earlier like ‘what’d u order? tell me!!’) #it’s not bad but it’s not...conservative friendly #im gonna chop off my hair again and i might see if i can dye it before she knows #listen she’s been a bit better recently and all ‘you’re an adult now im not going to baby you or helicopter you’ #so! i interpret that as ‘do what you want but im not paying for it’

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hey there Savi.. could i request a kou,mitsuba and tsukasa x reader where their s/o gets bullied alot?? I've been struggling with it recently and now that school is going to start again im dreading it .. thank you in advance <3

kou minamoto x gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader, tsukasa yugi x gn!reader

a/n: of course!! I’m really sorry that you’ve had experiences like that, but I also genuinely hope that this year will be better! You’ve got this-!! And don’t be afraid to ask for help <3 you’re so so welcome, tho I’m sure schools probably started by now, therefore I’m super sorry for the time this took- and thank you so much for requesting <3

Waaaaaah i’m also sorry if it’s OOC, cos I know Tsukasa’s at least is;;; writer’s block is aaaaaaah-;; I’ve genuinely been writing this since September 19th,,,,

warnings: bullying

word count: 2,044

kou minamoto <3

You glanced at your phone screen, the date flashing up at you. It was depressing. Thoughts of previous years danced in your head, as you shut your phone back off. You currently stood outside of your school, “open house” finally over. School was starting back in just a few days. Your days of freedom could be counted on one hand… this was, by far, one of your least favorite times of the year.

“(Y/N)! Do you still want to walk to the park?” Kou questioned, running up beside you. You nodded, hoping that spending time with your boyfriend would get your mind off of school, and memories related to such. As the two of you began to walk, you could practically feel the question on the tip of Kou’s tongue. He always made himself rather obvious- his hands fidgeted a bit, his gaze lowering to the ground.

“Say, (Y/N)... you seem sad. Is it because school’s starting back?”

You thought for a moment, unsure of how to put it. He certainly wasn’t wrong…

“Yeah, that’s basically it… last year was just… not a good year, haha.”

“Oh? Well, I’m sure this one will be better!! If you want, we can make a list or something? All the bad things about last year can be something we change this year-!”

Despite bitterly knowing that it wasn’t exactly something within your realm of control, you laughed a bit. “That’s… insanely corny, Kou. I didn’t say a terrible idea- just… corny.”

When you glanced up at him, you noticed his red face, as he blurted out an excuse. A moment of fumbling over his words passed, before he gave up, glancing off to the side once more.

“Wh-whatever- I mean, just… like, tell me what’s wrong, if you want to. And I’ll try to help. Alright?”

“It’s really not something either of us can help, Kou.”

“So? I’m your boyfriend,” He seemed a bit embarrassed to say, most likely not used to pulling that sort of card, “If you don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you. But, if you’re alright with telling me, I want to know. Either way, I’m here for you...”

“Ah… I know it, Kou. Honestly, I just… dealt with some bullying last year, so I’m really not looking forward to this year. No matter how much I hear ‘oh, the bully does it to feel better about themself’, it’s just emotionally… hm, awful, you know?”

“Oh… I understand, (Y/N). I do remember some people picking on me, since I have a big brother like Teru- it’s not fun at all. Here!! I’ll stay with you, 24/7! Sit with me during classes, and I’ll hang out with you during free time!” “Thanks, Kou- but we probably won’t have every class together.”

“Then- just tell me if something happens during the class,” He spoke, crossing his arms rather seriously. “I’ll talk with the teacher! Easy peasy!!”

A moment passed, before Kou took your hand, looking at the ground, then back up with you. His eyebrows were furrowed just slightly, his eyes not as wide as they usually were. Kou was being serious- as serious as his sweet mind could let him be. He almost seemed to resemble his big brother even more- when the two were serious.

“If something happens, tell me, okay? I mean it. I don’t want this year to be bad for you- as your friend and boyfriend! Let me do what I can to help, alright?”

You blinked a bit. Kou’s words were so sincere, you felt your heart beat a bit quicker. “A-alright. Thank you, Kou. I really mean it.” You spoke, bringing the boy into a hug to hide whatever sort of expression you were making.

“Of course! You don’t need to thank me, (Y/N). I’m happy to try and help-!”

mitsuba sousuke <3

“(Y/N), if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll give you something to complain about.”

Ah, Mitsuba… he spoke, his arms crossed as he sat next to you, silently noticing your slightly disheveled clothes. Judging by the slightly down look you wore, too many things were now adding up. Something was bothering you, and he was bound and determined to find out what it was.

“Mitsuba, it’s okay, really. Here! Let’s eat, I’m starving!” You opened up your bento box, sliding one his way, and sticking the chopsticks into your mouth. Though you hummed happily, Mitsuba was… in Detective Mode, to put it lightheartedly. Your every move was being analyzed, as he tried his best to figure out what was wrong. Your eyebrows furrowed, as you swallowed a bit harder than usual.

“What’s the point of lying to me, dummy? If you aren’t hungry, it’s probably because whatever is bothering you is ruining your appetite. Talk to me. I’m serious.”

You sighed, feeling as if the food was stuck in your throat. Or maybe your throat simply felt as though it had a lump in it…? Either way, you were painfully aware of the unpleasant feeling. Along with the creeping suspicion that Mitsuba wasn’t going to leave this alone. Was he good at reading people?? Were you just easy to read…? Or maybe, he was just far too accustomed to the way you reacted to things. Able to focus in on the little things, especially when he wanted to. Perhaps it was the talent of a photographer? Being able to read the entire picture??

Perhaps you were thinking too much into it, desperate for a way to get your mind off of the things going on around you.

“I’m just… dealing with some stuff.”

“Well, duh. What kind of stuff?”

You kept your gaze glued to the floor, fiddling absentmindedly with the chopsticks. You knew you could confide in Mitsuba… yet, something about it felt practically impossible. What would happen if you told him? Could he do anything? He was merely a ghost…

“Oi, I asked a question. Listen, and listen well, you idiot- I know I can’t solve all your problems, but I can at least listen- which is what you’d better be doing right now. You listen to me, though who wouldn’t want to is beyond me, so I can at least do the same. I’m not your therapist, but I am your boyfriend.”

Those words danced around in your mind for a bit, as you considered how to put it. For a moment, you simply nodded, letting Mitsuba know you heard- and were acknowledging- what he said. A few more moments passed before you began to speak.

“Lately, there have been some students… picking on me, I guess. It’s… discouraging, and makes school feel like a living nightmare. You’re the only good thing in my day at this hellhole.”

“Oh.”

You tightened your grip on the chopsticks, trying to read Mitsuba’s tone. Suddenly, it clicked- remembering Mitsuba mentioning being bullied for being “feminine” and “foul-mouthed”. He truly, genuinely, understood where you were coming from.

“I see, then… I’ll tell you what to do, (Y/N). Tell an adult, lame-o. I don’t give a flying flip about ‘oh, they won’t believe me’ or ‘what if the bullies blah blah.’ At least try it- it’s hard, but I don’t care about that either. Also, freaking ignore them. Obviously, you don’t want to pay them attention, so don’t.”

“Mitsuba, it’s not that easy-”

“I know. (Y/N), I’ve been in your shoes. Maybe it’s different- I dunno what kind of bullying they’re doing. Still, if you’re good enough for my standards, you know you’re at least worth something. So don’t let those low-lives get you down. I promise you, if I could, I’d give them a piece of my mind. But, since I can’t, just… do it yourself, or something. Don’t endure it, you rat.”

(“Mitsuba, all your insults lowkey feel like bullying-”

“Shut up, stupid-face, you can’t tell a teacher on a ghost. What’re you gonna say?? Waaaah, sensei, school mystery number 3 is calling me names!! Hah.”

“Tsuchigomori-sensei can see you, you know. And he teaches both Minamoto boys!”

“Lalalaaaa, I can’t hear you-”)

tsukasa yugi <3

Tsukasa… knows.

There was no other way to put it. You knew he knew, and you knew he was just waiting. A part of him wanted you to ask him for help- to confide in him, even if it took some pushing. He was… a bit different in that sense- I mean, how was he to know you didn’t enjoy being bullied? Was it the same way he felt when Amane looked at him with such hatred?

“(Y/N)!! What’s with such a sad look?? Did you get a bad test grade?” Tsukasa questioned, floating alongside you as you entered the broadcasting room. You simply shook your head, placing your bookbag on the floor, then standing back up.

“It’s just been a day, Tsu,” You added, taking a seat near Sakura. As you did, she pushed a cup of tea your way, her gaze as it usually was. She looked right through you, as if you were nothing but a ghost. Still, it was a much better look than the ones given by the bullies. Muttering a ‘thank you’, you lifted the cup, fiddling with it slightly.

“If there’s something bothering you, feel free to share it,” Sakura spoke, her gaze staying on you, then finally closing as she sipped from her cup.

“If there’s something bothering you, share it.” Tsukasa added, placing his head on your shoulder and staring at your eyes. His gaze drifted to your hands when you brought the cup to your lips, then over to your throat as you struggled to swallow.

“Runt, if you don’t back away from them, you’ll the the one bothering them,” Natsuhiko spoke, raising his eyebrows at Tsukasa, then offering you a slightly concerned look. His expression was enough for you to know he wanted to know if you were alright- to which you shrugged, reaching up and patting the side of Tsukasa’s face.

“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll be fine, really.”

Sakura pondered for a moment, before standing. “Mitsuba, would you like to walk with me? I should go grab something.”

Mitsuba, who had been sitting off to the side- glanced up, his usual puppy-like expression on his face. “Sure,” He replied, standing up, practically in sync with Natsuhiko.

“I’ll go as well, my lady!”

Oh. She’s doing that on purpose.

Your eyes followed the trio as they left the room, and you could feel Tsukasa’s eyes still stuck on you. The moment the door shut, he spoke. “(Y/N), tell me what’s wrong. You don’t seem to enjoy being miserable!”

“Am I supposed to?” “You’re miserable then? What’s wrong, c’mon!!”

“I didn’t say I was- just that I don’t think many people like it,” You spoke, taking another sip from the tea. The warmth of it made your throat feel hot, but it didn’t help the lump stuck in it.

“(Y/N). Just admit to me what’s wrong, and I’ll do what I can!”

You sighed, not wanting to grow frustrated. Tsukasa was… trying. He just didn’t understand everything- the boy who enjoyed seeing people wear normally unpleasant expressions, of course he wouldn’t personally understand. He wanted to help you, but how could a ghost help? Much less, the ghost of a boy such as him?

“(Y/N)-” “I’m just dealing with some bullies. It’s fine, Tsukasa- I’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll kill them <3”

“Tsu-”

Tsukasa stepped away from you, crossing his arms. “So, (Y/N), you don’t like it when people bully you? I’ll take care of it! Promise!” “Stop it right there, Mr. Only-grants-wishes-for-the-dead. Don’t ‘take care of them.’ I just need to get enough confidence to tell a teacher or something…”

Tsukasa paused, pouting his lips slightly, before nodding. Quickly, he floated back over to you, and trapped you in a hug. His arms wrapped around you securely, making you feel rather safe for being in the arms of such a destructive boy. “Fine. I’ll go with you, then, (Y/N)! I’ll even hold your hand!! And I definitely won’t let those bullies bother you any more~.”

“Tsukasa, please, don’t do anything drastic-” “Whatever you say, (Y/N). You know I can’t go against the wishes of my cute partner~!”

#anon #gn!reader #x gn!reader #oneshot #tbhk #jshk #kou minamoto #mitsuba sousuke #tsukasa yugi #tbhk x reader #jshk x reader #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun x reader #jibaku shounen hanako kun x reader #kou minamoto x reader #mitsuba sousuke x reader #tsukasa yugi x reader

[inactiveanimeblog]

breaking up with akatsuki members

akatsuki x reader

tw : angst, mentions of sex, toxic relationships

im not sure if i’ll make a part two for other akatsuki members, or a part where you guys will get back together.

sasori

“i just don’t think we should be together anymore. i’m sorry, i still love you no matter what sasori.”

sasori was quiet for a moment, tinkering with one of his puppets while you were nervously confronting him about breaking up, fidgeting in the seat next to him.

“so you wanna break up hm?” he questioned, his voice amused. “where will you go?”

“i— i have money saved. i’ll go settle somewhere.. in a small village.”

sasori scoffed, even chuckled a bit. clearly mocking you. “you wouldn’t last a day without me.”

now you were starting to get upset, you frowned and scrunched your eyebrows. “you really think i need you that much?”

“please don’t act like you’re something without me. i take care of you, feed you, and give you a place to stay. all at no cost. you ungrateful brat.” he spat out, adjusting the placements of the puppets body.

“i never asked for any of that. see this is why i’m leaving you. you treat me like some incompetent child. i’m more than capable of taking care of myself.” you got up to pack your stuff, grabbing a suitcase out of the closet and taking everything you bought with your own money, leaving all the things he had bought you behind. as you were about to leave he spoke once more.

“you’re gonna regret leaving me, i’ll be here when you’re ready to come back.” he said, his voice monotone as he kept his eyes and hands on the puppet. you took your things and left.

hidan

“hidan for crying out loud. you’re such a pig. flirting with other women in front of me.”

you and hidan were out eating at a small hut near the akatsuki hide out, and he was very casually flirting with the girl working behind the counter, and she was flirting back like you weren’t there.

“babe, you can be so annoying sometimes. stop worrying that pretty little head of yours. it’s you i come home to fuck every night anyways.” he said, putting his arms behind his head.

“annoying? seriously? hidan, do you not know how a fucking relationship works?” you were angered. this wasn’t the first time hidan has done this to you. but this was certainly the last. you were over it. over him.

“watch your fucking tone with me bitch, don’t act all high and mighty. i’ll leave you.”

“you’ll leave ME? please hidan, you know what? we’re done. don’t try coming to see me anymore, i’m going back to the house, grabbing my shit, and leaving.” you got up, leaving him behind. him and the waitress snickered.

“my shifts over soon, wanna come over?” the women asked him.

hidan smirked and took a sip of his drink. “yeah, as long as you make me feel better.” she giggled at him, and gave a wink before finishing up her shift.

it’s been two weeks since you guys broke up. hidan regretted what happened between you guys and he ignored your words to go look for you. but you were no where to be found.

obito

“obito, why do i feel like you don’t love me anymore. like your mind wanders elsewhere when we’re having sex, or even when we’re talking. are you still thinking about rin?” you asked, slightly upset to say the least.

you and obito have been dating for a few months and you knew about the women who he loved that tragically passed away. it was a terrible death that ruined him, but you were doing everything you could to mend his broken heart.

“y/n i don’t wanna hear that shit right now, i love you and i love rin. stop bringing her up. i’m over you being jealous.” he answered.

“jealous? as if i would be jealous of a dead women obito.” you scoffed. is he serious right now?

“what the fuck did you just say?” he turned to you, his raspy voice was now raising at you.

“you heard me. i would never be jealous of her. ever.”

“well you should be.” he chuckled lowly. “i loved her a lot more than i love you.”

and that was it. you heard enough.

“okay obito, if that’s how it is then we’re done. don’t even bother with me anymore.” you quickly got up from the living room couch to go upstairs and grab your things. obito followed you up there rambling non sense, cussing at you.

“if you leave now, don’t come back.” he yelled while you were packing your things.

“i won’t.” you yelled back. once you were done packing you quickly left. trudging out of the house and to a nearby hotel.

obito deeply regretted what he said, and he didn’t mean it. he loved you more than anything although his mind was elsewhere while you guys were together. but it wasn’t about rin in a way that he wanted to be with her. no, he had been stressed and having nightmares recently, not sure how to talk to you about it.

kakuzu

“you never pay any attention to me kakazu. it’s always ‘money this, money that.’ why won’t you spend more time with me?” you asked.

you were hurt. kakazu paid no mind to you at all, even getting annoyed with you when you tried having conversations with him.

“will you leave me alone? i’m busy right now and you’re starting to piss me off. go do something productive.” he responded, counting up the money his hand.

“kakazu all i ask is that you pay a little more attention to me. we’re dating, i’m your girlfriend. i need love sometimes.” you said, your voice starting to crack and tears forming in your eyes.

“y/n, i’m gonna ask you one last fucking time to leave me alone. stop being so clingy.” he still has yet to turn to look at you, still counting his money.

“okay fine, if that’s how it is then we’re through. i hope that money loves you as much as i do.” the tears we’re now spilling from your eyes as you packed your things.

kakazu didn’t say anything, he completely ignored you as you were leaving. if that’s how it was going to be then this break up was for the better.

deidara

“deidara, this relationship is getting too toxic for me. we fight almost every single day and the only thing we do to make up is have sex. i can’t do this anymore.” you said, getting up off the bed to put your clothes back on.

“babe, relax. come over here and cuddle with me. i wanna go for another round.” he smirked, still in bed butt ass naked.

“no, see?? do you think sex will solve everything? why don’t you start thinking with your brain instead of your dick.” you spat out.

“okay now you’re starting to fucking irritate me.” he said getting up to put his clothes back on as well.

“well maybe you should listen to me. you’re an adult so fucking act like one.”

“excuse you? all you do is whine and complain. if you’re so sick of me then just leave.”

“okay, if that’s what you want then i’m gone. we’re through. have fun trying to find someone that’s gonna put up with you.”

you packed and left. not turning around to look at him once. the anger inside you boiling up.

it’s been a month since you left and the both of you guys missed each other more than anything. you wanted to go back and see him, but you knew things would be the same if you went back. so you held your ground and decided you would never go back to him again.

#naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto x reader #akatsuki #akatsuki imagines #akatsuki x reader #sasori x reader #deidara x reader #obito x reader #kakuzu x reader #hidan x reader

[megalony]

Two out of three

This is a King! Harry Styles imagine which might have a follow up, I’m unsure yet. There is a lot of angst and some fluff in this part, I hope you all like it, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry and (Y/n) are in labour expecting twins and people are counting on them having a boy so their is an heir to the throne. But things don’t go smoothly for the royal couple. (Set around early 1900s).

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We're supposed to have another month of this, yet." (Y/n) spoke quietly like she was afraid to break the calming atmosphere around them but the slow and tense way that she spoke gave away that she wasn't best pleased. They were supposed to have another month of preparing before they should have to think about labour and even though (Y/n) did want this to be over and done with soon, she didn't want it to be now.

She tried to force herself to smile but her lips only tightened to form into a wince when she tried to sit up straighter against the sea of pillows engulfing her and a twinge of pain tightened like a knot at the base of her spine. Pushing through the uncomfortable feeling, (Y/n) sat herself up straighter with a little help from Harry before she sank back into the feather pillow behind her that felt heavenly against her sore spine. A small push of air left (Y/n)'s lips when she let her spine and her back muscles relax but once she was relaxed on the bed her back felt much better.

"Better?" Harry smiled cautiously as he tried to move a few of the pillows so they were better surrounding (Y/n). More recently it seemed that every day Harry came back into their shared room, he would find another pillow on the bed or another blanket cocooned around (Y/n) like she was creating a burrow or a nest. He knew the pillows eased the pain in her back and made it more comfortable for her to sleep but at the same time, it was getting to the point where Harry couldn't move or sleep for pillows.

But if (Y/n) was indeed going into labour now like she suspected then the nest of pillows wouldn't be needed for much longer.

"Hm, I'll be better when this is over."

(Y/n) smoothed her hands over her stomach that now meant she couldn't see her feet or her legs when she laid down like this. Having another baby was a blessing to (Y/n) and Harry but (Y/n) had hoped she would get a bit closer to her due date before labour happened. It somehow felt safer if she reached her due date since they were having twins, it could ensure they were both okay and healthy and ready rather than being early.

"Don't pretend you don't like being pregnant." Harry coiled his arm to his chest when (Y/n) playfully hit him with a scowl on her face.

She knew he was partially joking but he wasn't being very sympathetic like she wanted him to be. They both knew that (Y/n) liked being pregnant because people didn't bother her half as much, no one pestered her in case she turned around and snapped at them which she pretended to blame on the hormones. No one said anything when she sat in on a meeting with Harry or when she wandered into the kitchen for a rather unusual snack or food concoction. And since reaching the seven month mark of the pregnancy (Y/n) had been confined to their room and on bed rest which meant no one bothered her or hassled her or got on her nerves.

Even though people did tend to fuss when she was pregnant and constantly ask if she was okay, it was better than being put down or treated like she was a little girl who didn't belong or know what she was doing. And there was something about the way that Harry looked at her when she was pregnant that made her stomach flutter with butterflies.

"Yes, but I also like seeing my feet and walking without being weighed down, Harry. Labour isn't very fun, either."

At the mere thought of what was going to happen in a few hours, (Y/n) grimaced and turned her head until she could bury her face in Harry's chest.

The first time around it was worrisome for them both because of why Harry was the King. Before him, it had been a Queen who was the Monarch but her childbirth had been so traumatic and harsh that the baby passed away and the Queen died four days later from a haemorrhage. Harry was King because the Queen's childbirth hadn't been successful so it made Harry scared beyond belief when he thought about (Y/n) having a baby. He loved his wife more than anything in the world and he couldn't continue if something happened to her.

(Y/n) knew the risks, there were so many women who were dying during childbirth or soon after from problems and infections and she did not want to be one of those women. It caused her to lie awake in the dead of night on many occasions fretting that when labour rolled around it would be the last thing she did or endured before she died.

But when they had Emily, even though it had gone on for just over two days and had been more than stressful, it had been okay. Only a few things had gone wrong but Emily had been born perfectly fine and healthy and (Y/n) recovered quickly. She didn't get an infection or suffer mass bleeding or suddenly pass away and they allowed Harry to be in the room when Emily was born when normally the man was supposed to wait outside. But him being the King meant it was hard for people to deny him anything.

"You, will be perfectly fine, my love." Harry pressed his lips to the top of her head in an attempt to calm her down but he could still sense the worry circulating through her head. Even when he turned on his side to face her and leaned to kiss her or smoothed his hand over her stomach, he could feel her concerns.

It was the first birth that was supposed to be the most worrisome and (Y/n) had got through Emily's birth like smooth sailing, but this time it was twins and that doubled the risk.

"I've heard things, Harry... it's supposed to be harder with twins, I could start bleeding with the second one or not be able to do it or the doctor might have to intervene and I don't want-" (Y/n) had heard things that made her skin crawl and she knew what labour was like, she'd lost all her energy before Emily was even born, by the time she had the first twin she might not have the strength to give birth to the second. Or the second one could get stuck, (Y/n) knew that had happened for one poor woman and (Y/n) did not want a doctor tampering with her to try and get the baby out.

She knew what doctors were like and they would be worse with her because this was an heir to the throne. They would care more about the baby than (Y/n).

"Sshh, you're overthinking and scaring yourself. You were brilliant having Emily and you're so strong, you'll be fine with these two, I know you will and I'll be there, I won't leave you."

"What if they're both girls?" (Y/n) had to ask, she had to know what Harry thought because it was a question that had been rattling around in her head for much longer than it should.

Times were progressing, Queens could be on the throne just like Queen Alexandra before Harry, but it wasn't the same because heirs to the throne were supposed to be boys. If Emily had been a boy then the members of the court and council would have left (Y/n) alone and that would be it, (Y/n) would have been praised to high heaven and adored because she had a boy. No one would expect her to want or have another baby if Emily had been a boy because she would have given Harry and heir to his throne.

Many women through history in the royal line had stopped after having a son.

But Emily was a beautiful little girl and if (Y/n) and Harry had a boy then the crown would not be placed on Emily's head. They were expected to have a boy and if at least one twin was not a boy then (Y/n) would be expected to have another baby and another until she had a boy.

Harry wouldn't expect her to. If he had his way he would have an army of little girls surrounding him, he wanted as many kids as possible and he didn't care about having an heir. If (Y/n) wanted no more kids after these twins he would be perfectly fine with how their family was but (Y/n) would feel inadequate. She was the source of the royal line, she was supposed to ensure a King could follow after Harry.

"Then I'll have four lovely ladies to spoil-"

"Harry I mean it." (Y/n) bit her lower lip to stop herself from crying, especially when Harry cupped her face with his hands and smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks. "I- I want so many children with you, b-but if they're both girls and labour is hard or makes me sick or I die then you won't have an heir."

(Y/n) wanted children, she wanted so many and not just because people expected her to bear children, she wanted them because she loved Harry with everything she had and she loved being a mother. But if this labour proved very difficult and it scarred (Y/n) in any way or made her ill having another baby might not be able to happen or she might be too afraid. If God forbid, this labour killed her and she had two girls, Harry would be left with three daughters and no son to take the throne.

"Don't say that I won't hear of it! You're too strong and stubborn to die we both know that and I won't let anything happen to you. But if we have two beautiful daughters and you want to stop there then that will forever be fine with me. I don't expect a boy, I would love Emily to take the throne after me because she's a smart little cookie. Don't you listen to what anyone else says because girls are much better than boys."

When they were in the last month of Emily's pregnancy people started to talk, things had to be put into place and it had to be discussed about what would happen if (Y/n) passed during labour and if the baby didn't make it either. It needed to be talked about so things could be set in place but Harry had lost his temper.

Every single member of staff and council in the palace had been under strict instructions not to worry (Y/n) with that talk and no one was to dare bring it up with Harry because he wouldn't have it. He wouldn't talk about the event of his wife or unborn child's death because it scared him and he knew if he lost (Y/n) he wouldn't want to continue living without her.

To hear (Y/n) saying she was afraid of dying made Harry want to sob or be sick because she didn't have to worry. He knew she was too strong to die, she had proved that when they had Emily.

If they didn't have a boy Harry would be content leaving his throne to Emily because even though she was only three she was a smart little girl already and she would grow up ready to be Queen.

When Harry leaned his temple against hers, (Y/n) closed her eyes and basked in the heat and love he was giving and it felt like he was trying to convey his thoughts from his mind into hers to try and calm her down. One of his hands stayed resting on her cheek whilst his other hand moved back down under her gown to caress her stomach. He massaged his fingers into her skin, trying to help ease the tension in her stomach when another twinge of pain shot through her that he could feel.

As long as his wife and twins were healthy Harry couldn't care less about anything else, their health and happiness meant more than if a King or Queen would follow his succession to the throne.

"No- come away Miss Emily!" The voice of Claire, Emily's governess, suddenly cut through the air in a hissed whisper that was a warning to the child to listen to her but everyone knew she wouldn't, she only listened to her parents.

It had been expected that as soon as Emily was born, she would be given to a nanny and then to a governess who would effectively bring her up and teach her. For royals, the parents were more role models than actually parents, they weren't supposed to get involved and change the nappies or dress their children or wake up during the night and feed them and get them back to sleep. But both (Y/n) and Harry had decided from the off that they were going to raise Emily.

Claire was only there to teach Emily and watch over her when her parents were simply too busy.

"Want my papa!" Emily's high pitched voice was more of a crying whine than a small giggle like it usually was and it made Harry pick his head up and lean up on his arm so he could look towards the door.

"I'm so sorry your Majesty, Miss Emily has a small fever and isn't feeling very well."

"My papa!" Emily let out such a wail for Harry that broke his heart and made (Y/n) shudder at her desperate tone. It was like everyone was always trying to separate Emily from her parents or act like they were too busy when they weren't. If someone was wrong they wanted Emily to come and find them.

Harry turned his head to look down at (Y/n) who nodded her head to his silent question that asked if she was well enough for Emily to stay with them for a while. But the pains weren't bad, they were only just starting meaning any proper contractions were a few hours away, (Y/n) was fine to have Emily lying with them for a while.

"It's not a problem Claire, she's fine. Come here baby girl." Harry sat himself up and gave a small nod to the governess before he reached his arms down to pick Emily up when she toddled round to his side of the bed. Harry sat her on his lap and smiled gently at his girl before he pressed his hand to her forehead, noticing she did have a bit of a fever. "You can leave her with us now, Claire."

Harry didn't bother to look over at the governess when she curtsied before exiting the room, leaving the family in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lamps in the room were turned down until the flickering flames were only burning with the smallest flame possible, cascading the large room into a bask of burnt orange and vermilion light that felt like Harry was standing inside the sun itself. But rather than the light keeping his mind active and awake, the glistening colour made his mind soothe until he wanted to sleep rather than stay awake.

His bare feet padded against the carpet that should be worn down from how his feet had been constantly up and down on the same patch of floor in front of the windows which had the drapes pulled shut to keep the outside world away.

The girl in his arms was growing heavier by the second when she no longer held the control over her body which was limp in Harry's arms that were desperate to put her down after holding her for forty minutes straight.

Emily had woken up only an hour and a half after it took (Y/n) and Harry two hours to settle her down to sleep with them and she felt no better than when she came in to see them. So Harry took it upon himself to cradle Emily in his arms and pace the room with her to try and lull her back to sleep. When she cried or whimpered in his ear he started to hum and sing to her which really seemed to do the trick but now that she was asleep, he didn't want to set her down in case she woke up again.

Her head was resting neatly on Harry's shoulder with her small arms slung around his neck and her knees curled up against his stomach.

When a rather worrisome moan escaped (Y/n)'s lips, Harry stopped his pacing and turned around on the spot so he could cast his eyes over to the bed where (Y/n) was. It was close to midnight now and over the last hour (Y/n) had started to become restless. One moment Harry had helped her off the bed and onto the floor so she could kneel with her arms on the bed, the next moment she had been pacing up and down with him and more recently she decided to sit back down on the bed again.

(Y/n) had moved again since the last time Harry looked over at her, she was now kneeling in the middle of the bed slightly hunched over with her chin pressing into her chest.

"I- I think we should c... call the doctor." (Y/n) breathed through her words that were paused and stretched out when a pain caught her off guard.

Harry looked between (Y/n) and Emily for a few seconds before he quietly hummed in understanding. He watched (Y/n) as he slowly approached the bedroom door, a pained expression on his face when (Y/n) pressed one hand to her stomach before she leaned over and pressed her head into the bed, arching her back out to try and alleviate the pain she was feeling.

Opening the door, Harry padded down the hall until he found a maid passing by.

"Could you send for the doctor please, the Queen's going into labour?" Harry managed a small smile towards the maid as he tried to keep himself calm. He watched the way her eyes seemed to widen despite her obvious tiredness and she curtsied and nodded instantly.

There was something about the servants that always unsettled Harry because they always seemed to think he was a monster or a generally angry person when he was the very opposite. They talked and walked around him like he was going to snap at any moment and were always surprised when he used the manners he was taught or smiled or said please and thank you. He wasn't a monster.

"Of course, your Majesty. Would you like me to take Miss Emily to the nursery?"

Harry looked down to Emily who he almost forgot was still asleep in his arms, he'd simply forgotten about the way his arms were deadlocked in position or how she was clinging to him like a monkey clinging to a branch. He wanted to take her back himself and settle her to make sure she didn't wake up, but then again that would mean leaving (Y/n) on her own and he didn't really want to do that either.

"Yes, thank you but please make sure Claire stays with her I want her watched until her fever goes down."

He pressed a small kiss to Emily's temple before he slowly eased her down into the maid's waiting arms and unhooked her arms from around his neck. Even though she was calm and now asleep, Harry wanted Claire or anyone available to sit up and keep check on her so her fever didn't get worse because if it did they would have to send for another doctor to monitor her. Harry couldn't be sat with (Y/n) with half his attention panicking over whether Emily was okay and being looked after, he needed his full attention to be with (Y/n) tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Almost there my love." Harry's lips were soothing against (Y/n)'s burning skin but his words didn't help like he was desperate for them to. All he had to offer was himself and his words, he had no ability to take away the tremendous agony (Y/n) was going through and he couldn't make this process go any quicker but he was doing anything he could to try and help.

"N-no I'm not."

Harry could feel (Y/n)'s words vibrating throughout her body that tensed dramatically and her jaw locked as she spoke and spat the words in anger. They might be nearly there to meeting their first baby but the second one wasn't even close to being born yet and (Y/n) didn't have the energy to keep this up. She knew it, she knew from the first moment the doctor told her she was expecting twins that it wasn't going to go in her favour. (Y/n) had a sixth sense that when labour rolled around she would use up all of her energy on the first baby or something would go wrong or she just wouldn't be well enough to keep pushing through and she was right.

The pain was so bad that she couldn't feel anything below her torso, her body was overheating to the point the windows had to be opened and cold rags were smothering her skin to stop her from combusting and she felt horribly sick to her stomach.

The only good thing about this was that this labour was going much faster because her body knew what it was meant to do now.

Leaning herself forward off of the pile of pillows behind her, (Y/n) pulled on Harry's hand until he got her message and shuffled forward with her, wrapping his free arm around her waist with his chest against her back in case she needed him to hold her up. He pressed his lips to her exposed shoulder where her gown had slipped down her arm and he began to brush his fingers up and down the side of her stomach like his fingers were brushes painting delicately over a canvas.

Harry let go of (Y/n)'s hand so he could crack his knuckles and stretch his fingers before he held her hand with a bit better grip since they were both sweating. He'd taken the liberty of removing all of his rings beside his wedding ring after learning last time that his rings had cut into both their hands and created slash marks without either of them feeling anything.

Such a shriek left (Y/n)'s lips that made Harry shake, especially when (Y/n) seemed to tense completely until he thought she'd become locked in place. But the moment her muscles loosened and she turned to jelly against Harry, he felt her chest releasing such a relieved yet exhausted sigh and he looked over at the doctor sitting on the end of the bed with a baby in his arms.

"What did I tell you? You've done it love, it won't be much longer now."

"Are t-they okay?"

(Y/n) couldn't seem to stop her body from shaking like she had electric currents rattling through her body and it hurt, it felt like she was falling through the sky with no clear landing in sight. She couldn't hear the baby crying but she couldn't focus her vision on the doctor long enough to see if their baby was moving or in shock or just too calm to bother with crying out.

Harry reacted quicker than (Y/n), the moment he heard a familiar gagging sound he let go of her hand to grab the bowl resting beside the bed and held it in front of her just as she threw up. He gently pulled her hair away from her face before rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her back but when his bright eyes darted down to look at the doctor, he was met with a grave face and a simple but grave shake of the head.

They'd lost a child.

A choked moan escaped (Y/n)'s lips that caught both men's attention before she threw her head back onto Harry's shoulder, her muscles tensing when she felt another contraction building up.

Out the corner of her eye, (Y/n) saw a maid taking the baby from the doctor before she scuttled out and into the adjoining study, presumably to clean up and weigh the baby. (Y/n) let the child drift from her mind like they had the room so she could try and focus her energy on the next baby.

Before the head was even born (Y/n) let out a horrid, bubbling sob before she pulled away from Harry and let herself sink back into the pillows. Everything hurt, everything ached and everything felt numb. (Y/n) wished her life was a tape that could be cut down to size so she could cut out the labour and just attach the before and after birth together. She wanted to jump straight from the first contraction to being laid in bed cradling her babies in her arms. But life didn't work that way and mother nature was cruel.

The round of screams and humiliated sobs that left (Y/n)'s lips were defeated and lifeless because she had no energy to put into her screams that could convey how she felt or do her pain any justice.

(Y/n) couldn't believe how exhausted yet thrilled she felt when the baby seemed to come into the world so effortlessly once their head was born. It was as if (Y/n) had blacked out for a while and was now awake and their baby was here. She could hear the rather loud scream that their baby let out the moment they were in the doctor's arms and it made (Y/n) smile.

Their baby had a very powerful set of lungs, that was good.

"Done... I'm done, it's over." (Y/n) closed her eyes and held her breath, swallowing the lump in her throat to prevent herself from feeling or being sick again as the bed seemed to envelope her in a congratulating hug that she sank into until she thought she had slipped into the next floor below.

When she found the will to do so, (Y/n) opened her eyes that immediately searched for Harry who was peering down at her. With what little energy she had left, (Y/n) reached her shaking hand up to cradle Harry's face when she saw him sobbing silently.

"A girl, your Majesty." The doctor moved his arms to let (Y/n) see her wailing baby before the same maid who took their first baby wrapped up their little girl with a very weak smile.

"M-my baby, w-where's m..my baby?" It was clear (Y/n) felt weak and she looked very pale and rather sick in Harry's opinion but it was only as to be expected after what she'd just gone through. As much as Harry wanted to lie to (Y/n) so she could rest and not feel her heart breaking, he couldn't help the small sob he let out at her confusion and he watched the exact moment her heart snapped in two and her lips curled in distaste.

(Y/n) couldn't question it. She couldn't ask why or how or tell Harry he was wrong, all she could do was scream like she had eaten glass which was now puncturing into her stomach and organs and was splitting her apart from the inside out.

Despite the agonising howl of pain that left (Y/n)'s lips, Harry leaned down until he could bury his face into the crook of her neck. He kissed her flush skin repeatedly to try and stop her screams but he knew nothing he could say or do was going to make this okay.

"Sshh, shh my love..." Harry felt (Y/n)'s trembling fingers tangling into his curls as she wailed and he cooed in her ear, not knowing how else to calm her down.

"W... what was it?" (Y/n) hiccuped through her few words which made Harry's head lift from her neck so he could look at the doctor. It didn't cross his mind to ask whether or not they'd had another girl or a boy, he only thought to dwell on the fact that whatever gender their baby was, they were not alive.

"A boy, your majesty." The doctor's voice was solemn and calm showing this kind of news was one he had had to deliver more than once, but never to the King and Queen.

(Y/n)'s chest shuddered and bounced up and down rapidly before a very low whine almost like a baby's wail for attention cut from her lips. She'd done what they'd asked, she'd had a boy and now she'd lost him. What were people going to say when they heard all the Queen could do was produce girls? How would they react when they found out she'd lost an heir to the throne but managed to have another girl?

(Y/n) smothered her face with her hands and screamed into her palms but Harry quickly reached down and removed her hands, he didn't want her smothering herself like that or hurting herself unintentionally. He would rather witness her screams than have her trying to hide them.

"Your Majesty, could we sit you up so I can examine you please? The afterbirth hasn't passed yet." The doctor's rather kind yet solemn tone grated on (Y/n)'s nerves when she knew it shouldn't. She wanted him to be rude to her, she wanted him to be annoyed and indifferent rather than kind because it was how people were going to treat her. He may as well be the same and be disappointed that she could give Harry another girl yet cost him a son at the same time.

She barely felt Harry and the doctor taking an arm each and gently ease her up so she was sitting up more or less straight against the pillows that clawed at her and pulled her back into a comforting yet broken embrace.

When Harry heard his name whimpered from (Y/n)'s chapped lips he felt another flood of tears leaving his eyes. He wanted to hold her like he normally did, he wanted to lay down at her side and wrap his arms around her waist with his front resting on top of her own. He wanted his face smothered into her neck and her breaths fanning through his curls. But he couldn't hold her like that yet.

Desperate to have (Y/n) in his arms properly, Harry gently moved (Y/n) as slowly and carefully as he could manage until he could worm his way behind her with her laid between his legs. He slipped his arms under her own and wrapped them around her, feeling a tiny bit calmer when (Y/n) moved her hands to tightly grip his own, sliding her fingers between the groves of his hands. He dipped his head down until he could kiss her cheek and keep his head pressing against her own, holding her tightly like she wanted because he had no need to fear her breaking in his hold for she was already broken.

For a few seconds whilst the doctor busied himself examining her and feeling her stomach, (Y/n) thought she was going to blackout or even die. She welcomed the darkness, she wanted it to smother her mind and take her away for a few hours until she could wake up and have this all be some kind of sordid nightmare she would forget in a heartbeat. But sleep nor death ever overtook her, she was left limp in Harry's arms.

"Is there a problem?" Harry prayed to God that there wasn't, they couldn't take any complications or errors or problems right now.

"Your Majesty..." The doctor waited patiently for (Y/n) to open her eyes and focus on him and he rubbed his hand over her knee to try and comfort her as well as ground her and keep her concentration that he desperately needed right now. "There is another baby, I've given you an injection to start more contractions so I need you to push again."

It was Harry's turn to have his lips curl up in distaste and his eyes darken like the night sky. They couldn't have another, (Y/n) couldn't have another. She was broken and exhausted and one more push away from slipping into a state close to death. Another baby could kill her, Harry knew they had been tempting fate by having twins, with the state (Y/n) was in she didn't look like she would survive another baby.

"I can't." (Y/n)'s voice was a whisper before she closed her eyes and turned her head to bury her face into Harry. She felt like going to sleep. She wanted to tell this doctor to have a word with God and take the third baby away, magic it into in-existence, into the dark realm where nothing existed because she couldn't give birth again. (Y/n) had nothing left, she was broken on the inside and out, her other two babies had taken everything she had.

When a dull, throbbing contraction slowly but steadily built up (Y/n) ignored it which somehow felt so easy when before a contraction was too hard to miss or push from her mind. She realised now that she hadn't felt the doctor give her the injection he spoke about, nor was she feeling much pain or even the baby moving.

"Sir, the longer we wait the worse she will become. She must push now."

Harry wiped his eyes with the back of his shaking hand before he turned his head to look at (Y/n) who stared up at him through half-lidded eyes.

"Love, this baby needs you... you have to try or else we stay stuck here like this and it will hurt so much more. Please... please, try for me." If (Y/n) didn't try her body was only going to feel more broken and confused and something could happen to the baby or to (Y/n). Harry couldn't lose (Y/n) now and as bad as it seemed, the baby wasn't as important to him right now. He needed (Y/n) and he needed to look after her but no one could do anything if she didn't try.

(Y/n) couldn't scream. All she could do was whimper and moan quietly and hope that what she was doing was pushing because she couldn't tell anymore, she could only work out that her mind was short circuiting and wanted to switch off completely.

A small, almost non-existent smile formed on (Y/n)'s face when she felt Harry humming in her ear and very lightly swaying them both side to side but it was to calm himself down as much as her. (Y/n) wasn't holding his hands very tightly at all and Harry was holding her up, she had no energy left it was very clear. But when Harry looked down he could see a river of blood surrounding his and (Y/n)'s legs.

When the head was born, Harry watched the doctor move his blood-covered gloved hands to inject something into (Y/n)'s stomach that he could only hope was to help with the bleeding.

"Just a little more, my love."

(Y/n) couldn't tell if the doctor was intervening and trying to help but she didn't care as long as the baby was out of her and she could go to sleep. Her shoulders slumped and her forehead fell against Harry's chin when she felt the weight lift from her stomach and the pain suddenly evaporated like steam from a hot bath.

"You have another boy." (Y/n) felt a single tear escape her eye and slowly trickle down the ridge of her nose and fall down her cheek before jumping free from her chin at those few words.

Had she killed this heir too?

"Open your eyes... (Y/n) open your eyes." Harry shook his arms a bit too violently for his own liking but he had to so (Y/n) wouldn't go to sleep. He couldn't have her falling asleep on him in case she never woke up. The urgency in his voice made the tears fall faster but it worked and caused (Y/n) to lift her head a little and open her eyes. And Harry watched her marvel at the baby the doctor was holding up for her to see.

Without speaking or thinking or even breathing, (Y/n) curled her fingers to her palms and moved her hands to indicate that she wanted her baby. Their first baby had died and been snatched away from them, their girl was lively but she wasn't here, someone else had her and was tending to her. (Y/n) wanted one of her babies to cradle and reassure herself this was real.

Harry locked eyes with the doctor and nodded with a look that told him not to refuse (Y/n)'s small request. They hadn't been asked if they wanted to hold their daughter and it was assumed they didn't want their first boy- who Harry was going to make sure he held very soon. They had to hold one of their babies now to keep them both sane.

He was tiny.

The little boy was much smaller than what Emily had been or their next girl who looked very healthy and was wailing showing that she was strong. This boy was pale grey-skinned rather than pink, his lips were tainted blue rather than red and he looked sickly. He wasn't breathing perfectly either but he was here, he was alive and for now he would be okay.

His fragile body was laid on (Y/n)'s chest and he curled up until he was almost invisible. (Y/n) moved her weak arms until one hand was on his back and the other was cradling the back of his head and she felt Harry's arms overlapping her own so he could hold them both closer to him like he wanted them all to merge into one. Harry knew they were both unwell, his wife and his youngest were going to need a lot of love and care to get them on the road to recovery.

But as he watched (Y/n)'s fingers skimming over their boy's head, he saw her lips curving into a tired, lost smile.

"We'll be okay, little one."

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #dad! harry styles #king harry

[shuatoyou]

hello!! can i request a fake dating f2l au with joshua w a bit of jealous joshua and mainly fluff with a teeny bit of angst thanku!

here’s the long awaited request anon! thank you for this i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing.

fluff with some angst i think?

joshua x reader 

wc; 1,896

“y/n are you bringing a date to the wedding?” your mom curiously asks while you observe the dress you had on in the mirror in front of you. the question makes you turn around to face her.

“um no?” you hesitate and your response makes her look up at you.

“bring your boyfriend sweetheart.” she smiles diverting her attention to the dress you had on. “that joshua kid, he’s your boyfriend right?”

“yeah! o-of course” you stammer on your words hoping your mom would take no notice and turn around on your heals swiftly facing the mirror watching your reflection panic.

you and joshua were not dating in fact you doubted he would have any feelings for you whatsoever seeing as you were best friends, however he was a regular plus one to the family events because of them constantly getting on your case about dating and it would be embarrassing for them if their only daughter kept attending these events alone after all they boasted about your social life. so joshua continuously offered to attend alongside you and pretend to be your lover which was a role he played successfully to your luck.

you walked out of the dress store shortly parting ways with your mother to go back to your home with the new dress for the upcoming occasion.

you walk in to your humble abode dropping all your bags down beside the sofa and letting yourself fall onto the soft seat. truthfully you dreaded asking joshua to go to this wedding with you as your date mainly due to the fact you had some unrequited feelings you’d recently develo=ped towards the other but you knew it would be even more awkward asking someone else from your friendship circle so he was the only answer at the end of the day.

picking up your phone you dial joshua’s number startling once you hear his soft voice come through. 

“hey y/n whats up?” joshua asks cheerfully making you close your eyes tightly at the tone of voice that always gave you butterflies.

“nothing much, i was just wondering if you were free this weekend?” you ask him as confidently as you can.

“are you asking me on a date?” at this point you knew he was smirking as he asked that.

“no but i do need someone to go with me to my cousins wedding this saturday. you’re being weird though maybe i’ll ask jeonghan instead” you somewhat tease knowing the boy will object.

“you better not, of course i will be there as your date” he emphasises on the date and you can feel a blush creeping up to your cheeks

“yes you will. my dress is light blue” you state nonchalantly notifying the boy.

“bet you’ll look great, i’ll find a tie to match.”

his sudden compliment catches you completely off guard and its evident as you barely manage to let out a small ‘okay’ a few seconds late causing joshua to chuckle over on his end knowing he had this effect on you.

“bye y/n” he exclaimed before abruptly hanging up. 

you groan into a pillow frustrated wondering how you would get through the weekend, the answer should be like all the other times but you felt nervous nevertheless.

joshua eyed you intently watching you walk over to him with your dress flowing all princess like around you and every little detail such as the colour and the fitting of the stunning material complementing all your features.

“hi” you both breathed out at the same time making eachother giggle in unison.

“you look amazing” joshua smiles opening the door to his car on the passenger side, a gentlemanly courtesy from the one and only gentleman. you blush getting into the car ready to return a compliment to him as he gets in to the driver seat to drive you both to the venue, however nothing leaves your mouth. perhaps it was the nerves.

the drive is filled with joshua talking about his week with you commenting here and there whilst trying to avoid glancing over at him, nodding your head to the music playing quietly from the radio.

thankfully the journey wasn’t longer than twenty minute, at the hall you step out of the car only to be greeted with joshua offering you his arm which you shyly accepted either way as you walked in and began greeting your family with joshua beside you attracting stares left and right.

“y/n sweetheart!” your mother rushes up to you giving you a hug which made you untwine your arm from joshua’s to return it.

“i see you brought your handsome boyfriend” she winks causing joshua to widen his eyes and laugh at the suddenness of her compliment. you glanced up to him to see his cheeks flushed which you found endearing to say the least.

“you guys are sitting over there” she points over to a table a few steps away. “whenever you’re ready come join us” the last words are spoken and soon enough your mother is gone to deal with other business.

joshua turns to you, instinctively you turn around to face him.

“should we go sit down now?” he speaks out watching your gaze soften as you listened to him speak.

you nod so he reaches to hold your hand and leads the way to the table, the sudden action shocked you so you stopped at a halt making joshua stop with you.

“is something wrong?” he asks eyes showing worry.

“no... just- you’ve never done that before” you mutter looking down at your intertwined hands.

“sure i have, but i’m especially your date for tonight so i think i have the privilege to hold your hand even more.” he winks before continuing the way to the table and even pulling out your chair for you to sit making the adults at the table coo at his gentlemanliness.

the entire night joshua spent talking to you, making you laugh here and there at the little jokes he would throw in, hearts doing backflips unknown to one and other but you couldn’t help enjoy the company.

he left momentarily for the bathroom leaving you alone until another figure approached you tapping your shoulder to gain your attention you respond by turning around to see your childhood friend who you immediately stood up to greet the individual.

“seungcheol? it’s been a while!” you exclaim, eyes widening trying to adjust to the new appearance of your long time friend before pulling him into a hug.

“yeah we’ve both changed a bit clearly.” he chuckles looking down at his own suit once pulled away.

“sit, im sure my parents would love to see you again!” you speak out pointing towards the nearest chair as you sit down on your own.

joshua returned to see you in deep conversation with the boy unknown to him the pang of jealousy hit hard causing him to frown at the male at the center of your attention making you laugh like he was earlier. silently he approached taking a seat in the next vacant chair as his previous one was now occupied by the stranger.

it wasn’t long before you to noticed joshua’s presence and you wasted no time introducing the two to each other.

“joshua this is seungcheol, we grew up together and seungcheol this is my date joshua” you introduce the two boys to each other both of them passing on friendly smiles before turning their attention back to you.

“oh are you guys dating?” seungcheol asks genuinely curious.

you stutter unable to answer the sudden question however joshua speaks up anyways. “yeah we are” he reaches to hold your hand repeating the action that turned you into a flustered mess but you nod anyways going along with him.

“im happy for you y/n! i hope you both last a long time” 

seungcheol’s words had more of an effect on you two than expected and it was the same for joshua who you felt squeeze your hand gently.

“anyways, i’m going now but i’ll see you around?” seungcheol gives you both a little wave and you nod in return before watching him walk off. you turn around to joshua straight away only for the boy to let go of your hand and more immersed in a glass of wine.

“you’re gone red” you poke at his cheek snickering ever so slightly making joshua put down his treasured glass to look at you with a blank expression before turning away again. you huff getting up hoping for a slight change of expression from the boy but to your dismay - nothing.

a slow tune started playing and you glanced around to see guests getting up to join the slow dance at the centre of the hall. you sit back down only for joshua to get up this time and hold out his hand to you. puzzled, you give him a questioning look.

“dance with me” he mumbles and you dont waste anymore time giving into dancing with him despite your heart racing like crazy.

to be honest you could barely concentrate on dancing with joshuas hands resting on your waist with yours around his neck. his touch felt like fire and you couldn’t help but feel warm inside despite your nerves now skyrocketing.

“you haven’t given me much attention tonight” joshua spoke with a low tone down into your ear as you both swayed to the gentle music.

“w-what do you mean” you pull back slightly to see his face better but regret it almost immediately realising how close in proximity your faces were.

“i thought it was obvious.” he chuckled and you could feel your heart racing at a dangerous number of miles per minute. sure you were a little bit oblivious but you were scared of misunderstanding his words so you stayed silent not breaking eye contact waiting for him to continue which he did.

“i like you y/n” he muttered once again into your ear, you felt his breath fan your neck sending shivers down your spine and your cheeks burning. the fact that your feelings were not so unrequited brought a lot of shock to you but you couldn’t help the smile now taking over your expression out of happiness.

joshua examines your face searching for an kind of indication you were okay with his confession before setting his gaze onto your rosy lips. you dont hesitate before reaching up to connect your lips that went together perfectly.

the both of you pull away first aware of your surroundings and it wasnt long till both of you were betrayed by the visible blush forming.

the song finally came to a halt and joshua led you outside where it was quieter.

“so what do you say? we should date for real now right?” he’s close to you again and hoping you cant hear the pace of his heart.

“not how i expected to be asked out at someone elses wedding but yes dummy we should” you laugh out lifting up your hand to push back his hair messing it up as joshua’s arms find their way around your waist again pulling you closer to him.

“good” he whispers connecting your lips once again both of you smiling into the kiss feeling pure bliss and completely content with the events of the night.

#anon!! #joshua request #enjoy <3 #seventeen #seventeen blog #joshua hong #joshua #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen request #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #f2l

[inadaydream99]

Wait, there was a error here and I don't know if the request was sent or not, so I will send it again. Can I request a SKZ reaction to trying to being more "mature" to impress their crush but their crush doesn't like it. Thanks in advance honey, I hope you're doing great ❤️ ❤️ 😘 😘

Hey, I love this request! 😁 I didn’t get this the first time so thank you for sending it in again. I’m sorry this has taken so long, but I hope you enjoy!

Chan

To say you were confused by Chan’s recent behaviour was an understatement. He hadn’t been acting like himself and every time someone made a slightly immature joke or comment he would just roll his eyes instead of laughing along like he normally would. You didn’t like it one bit.

You were visiting the guys for the day, having not been able to see them much when everything suddenly became clear to you. Chan was trying to impress you by being more mature because you said that you found guys that were mature more attractive. You knew you shouldn’t have been listening into the conversation between Chan and Seungmin but you couldn’t help yourself.

“You’re overthinking this. By mature, I don’t think she meant being boring and not joining in on jokes.” You hear Seungmin state in a mocking tone, a cute little giggle sounding after which makes you let out a snicker under your breath.

“But none of our conversations are ever mature, so I just decided to not get involved.” Chan responds, his tone unrecognisable to you but you could picture the straight faced expression he must be pulling.

“I can see she is worried about you though, she keep glancing to see your responce. I know she likes it when you join in on the immature jokes we make.”

“Seungmin’s right you know.” You enter the room, jumping into the conversation before another word can be spoken. Both of their eyes wide and mouths slightly hung open in surprise.

“If being mature means you aren’t your normally bubbly self then I guess I don’t like mature guys that much.” You continue when you realise that neither of them are going to respond.

“See. I was right.” Seungmin smugly smiles before leaving the room. Chan can only look down in embarrassment, a shy smile on his face as you both laugh with one another.

Woojin

“Why are you being so quiet?” You suddenly blurt catching Woojin off guard. He turns to look at you in confusion, the book he was previously reading now sitting in his lap.

“Well, im reading.” Woojin smirks at you, an eyebrow raising mockingly.

“No, I don’t mean that. I mean, you seem more serious lately.” You roll your eyes before explaining what you mean.

“You’re- subdued.” You continue, pausing momentarily to find the right word to describe him.

“I’m just thinking about the future, what I want from life and things like that.” Woojin answers you calmly. Generally Woojin is one of the most mature people you know, but you’ve never known him to be this focused.

“You have loads of time for that. I haven’t even seen you smile today. Can you smile, I miss your smile.” You pout up at him, leaning into his side and looking at him intently.

“You’re annoying you know that.” Woojin teases, a smile breaking out on his face as he laughs at you.

“I did it!” You cheer which only makes Woojin laugh more. He never had the confident to admit it but your silliness is one of the reasons he loves you.

Minho

“But I like it when we’re not serious.” You complain, following Minho as he walks away from you.

“We aren’t kids anymore (Y/N), so stop acting like one.” Minho rolls his eyes as he continues walking, not even sending a glance your way as you catch up to his side.

You had gotten into a disagreement with Minho because you told him that you think it’s strange seeing him act more mature. This irritated him because he had been purposefully acting more mature to impress you, secretly wanting you to start looking at him as more than a friend. And maturity was the way he decided to do that because he thought that would be what you wanted.

“Just because we aren’t kids doesn’t mean we can’t have fun and not take life too seriously all the time. But that’s all you’ve been recently.” You retort, persistent on getting Minho to lighten up a bit.

“I thought you would want someone who is mature though!” Minho suddenly stops walking. You look at him confused b my the statement.

“I’ve been trying to get you to notice me. You said you tired of dating boys and wanted a man.” Minho speaks softer as he approches you slowly after you fail to respond.

You can feel your heart beating out of your chest from his confession. You had no idea he felt that way about you, but you were happy he did.

Changbin

“Is it really that important to you?” You we’re questioned randomly by Changbin who was laying across the sofa with his head in your lap.

“What’s important to me?” You laugh at the ominous question, your fingers combing though his hair continuously.

“About finding someone who is mature.” Changbin fills in the gaps, his hands raising a little so he can pick at his nails, a nervous habit he has that you find endearing.

“I guess, but it’s not the most important thing.” You reply easily as you smile down at him.

“What is then?” He mumbles. You’re almost not sure if he was asking you or just speaking his thoughts until his eyes finally meet yours.

“Someone who is nice, and genuinely cares about me.” You start, your voice trailing off as you think about it more deeply.

“So like me then...” Changbin brings you out of your mind, his shy smile making your stomach flip.

Hyunjin

“Life’s too short.” You bashfully say as you take a sip of your drink, your gaze trailing off to your side as you look out of the window to the cafe you are currently sat in.

“Which is why it’s important to know what you want.” Your eyes dart back to land on Hyunjin who is sat opposite you, his expression serious and calm. It’s like you are suddenly in a parallel universe, your best friend having changed personalities over night.

“Wow, so very mature of you. Where’s my goofy best friend gone, I liked him better.” You giggle in an attempt to bring some lightheartedness into the air.

“It’s true.” Hyunjin chuckles, his head falling to look at the table simultaneously.

“So you know what you want then?” You regain his eye contact, a teasing tone to your question.

“Yeah, you.” Hyunjin answers confidently, his eyes not once diverting from yours, wanting to see your reaction.

Jisung

You had been bickering with Jisung for over an hour about how he needs to grow up. Unsurprisingly this offended him and has relentlessly been trying to prove to you that he is mature ever since.

“The economy, politics, taxes!” Jisung yells, his sporadic movements almost giving you a heart attack as he jumps around the room passionalty trying to prove his point.

“Just saying random words doesn’t prove you are mature. If anything, I’m surprised you know those words.” You mock, a wide grin on your face as you get hit with a pillow.

“Hey! That’s not fair!” Jisung whines, becoming defeated by your teasing.

“Do you really want me to be more mature?” He timidly asks after a few minutes.

“No, I like you exactly as you are.” You cringe at your cheesy words. But the smile of Jisung’s face is priceless.

Felix

“I can’t adult today... or any day really.” Felix sighs, falling onto the sofa next to you as you look up from your phone in amusement.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” You playfully scoff before returning your attention to scrolling through social media.

You didn’t really think too much about what you had said to Felix, but he did. It bothered him that you thought he was being dramatic making him question if you were even joking though you played it off as one.

Its been a few days since then and ever since you have noticed Felix being more reserved than normal. Your curiosity peaks when you observe that he hasn’t been joining in on group conversations as much. He hasn’t even been giving Jisung reactions when he makes a joke like he normally does.

“What’s wrong?” You decide to investigate as soon as you get the opportunity to and finding Felix in his own was perfect.

“Nothing.” He mumbles, his disinterest in answering you evident.

“Seriously? You’re being like that. I just wanted to make sure you are ok.” You begin to get defensive, slightly angered by his hardness towards you.

“I’m not getting into a childish argument with you (Y/N). I said I was fine.” Felix responds, his voice raising in volume which only makes you further annoyed.

“Then why are you acting like one.” You retort purposefully trying to upset him now.

“Why are you so fixated on that! All you care about is people acting mature and yet you don’t even act mature yourself.” Felix retaliates as he sends daggers your way.

“Since when have I ever said that?” You become timid, feeling sadness wash over you from the accusation.

“A few days ago you told me to stop being dramatic and ever since it’s been in my mind that you think I’m not mature or I am childish.” Felix speaks after calming himself down a little, his anger fading upon seeing you look so hurt by his explosion.

“I didn’t mean it that way at all. I actually think you are way more sensible and mature than I am.” You answer barely above a whisper as you struggle to keep your emotions in control.

Felix feels regret wash over him as he takes in your reaction, his heart braking at seeing how much he has upset you.

“I’m sorry. I guess I overthought what you said.” He softly speaks. You nod your head in responce as you are engulfed in a tight hug.

Seungmin

“How sophisticated.” Seungmin flatly comments which makes you almost choke on your drink.

“Do you want to kill me.” You joke, laughing as you mop up the bit of coffee spilt on the table with a tissue. “What were you talking about anyway?” You continue as you throw the tissue away, wanting to know the reason for his sarcastic sounding comment.

“Just this picture Changbin sent on the group of some stupid meme or something.” Seungmin fills you in, still sounding completely unimpressed.

“But you love all that kind of stuff.” You giggle at him, finding his sarcasm highly entertaining.

“Well not anymore. I am more mature now.” He states proudly, smiling at you widely.

“But now who am I gonna send my favourite memes to?” You pout. You didn’t like this ‘new mature’ Seungmin.

“Well, you still can if you want. I just though you would be impressed by my maturity.” Seungmin admits, his cheeks tinting pink feeling shy.

“You’re so cute.” You coo at him, laughing when it makes his cheeks turn bright red from your comment.

Jeongin

“I am not a child!” Jeongin whines, his stroppy actions completely opposing his statement.

You have been teasing him by calling him a child and babying him, which Jeongin normally loves. He always enjoys your attention, having a huge crush on you for a while. But recently he has been trying to act more grown up, wanting you to look at him as a man rather than a boy.

“Your tantrum suggests the opposite.” You snicker making his sigh in frustration.

“I can be mature.” He defends as he stops whining and grumpily focuses onto the tv, determined to ignore you.

“I know, I’m just messing with you.” You speak as you try to get his attention. “I know you’re not a child. Even if I do make it seem that way sometimes.” You continue, successfully getting Jeongin’s attention onto you once again.

“Really.” Jeongin responds, his eyes wide in shock.

When you nod in responce, Jeongin finally smiles, happy with what you have said.

#stray kids requests #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #kpop fluff #stray kids angst #kpop angst #kpop requests #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios

[musedblues]

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 4]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You’re working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life’s greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

warnings: Some fun, a little angst, and a whole lot of mixed feeling!

w/c: 6k

a/n: We’ve reached the halfway mark of this story! I hope you enjoy this update. Let me know what you think, lovies!

​taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​ @mrsmazzello​ @lettinggosthehardestpart​ @the-moving-finger-writes​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​

Part 5

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The spring was blossoming to life and after your fair share of sulking, you went on the hunt for a job. Funeral expenses and travel had cleaned out your account, and you needed income. In the local mall, you scored part-time at a tiny flower shop. A lovely couple of old men owned the place and handled deliveries, insisting your only job was to sit behind the register and wait for customers to buy something.

There were plenty of shoppers, but even more spare time to listen to podcasts and text Tegan. You were in the middle of sending your friend photos of the floral arrangement one of your bosses let you mess around with over lunch break, when a familiar voice floated past your counter.

“Oh my God!”

Lacy Duval was standing in front of you with a strangely excitable grin and a perfect ponytail flowing from underneath a Yankees ballcap. Oh my God was right.

“Hello, Lacy.” You gave her a cagey smile. There was no reason not to be polite, but something about the girl really got under your skin.

“I saw you here on my way to Urban Outfitters and I couldn’t not say hello.” The girl was pretty. It almost blinded you to look right at her. But she’d taken to leaning against the counter to shove her smile in your face.

“Well, hello.” You offered once more. “Please, don’t let me get in the way of your shopping.” You nearly plead, glancing past her, willing another customer to show up.

“Oh, no I work at Urban. I totally don’t mind clocking in a few minutes late.” Lacy giggled like this was some kind of big, secret, inside joke. You only let out a very nervous chuckle, afraid if you opened your mouth again you would be a little too rude. Lacy leaned against your register for five solid minutes, gabbing on about the mall and the people she worked with and how she’d never see you here before.  All while looking over her shoulder and around yours, like she had somewhere better to be. That’s what stopped you from dropping your guard and actually listening to what Lacy had to drone on about.

She left with a reluctant sigh and you wondered how she justified talking to you for so long with absolutely nothing to say. You shook it off in a hurry, going back to your texts with Tegan and selling a few promposal bouquets near the end of your shift.

Except after then, something horrific happened. For the next two weeks, Lacy kept coming in to say hello. Every. Single. Day. She even learned your schedule and made a habit of stopping in to greet you before her shifts across the mall started. And for a while, you didn’t totally mind the tradition. She kept it up so long, with a pleasant smile. She must have really wanted to talk to you, right? But by her fifth visit, her all too obvious intentions were finally brought to light.

“So how’s Joe, then?” Lacy kept her smile wide and her eyes glued on yours.

“Oh, you know, some kind of superstar.” You half-joked, almost through your teeth. Joe was off with his castmates, winning awards and attending red carpet parties. You couldn’t have been happier for him. He deserved a bit of fun after the winter was so cruel. You just didn’t like that Lacy was asking.

“He’s always been popular but he’s properly famous now, isn’t he?” Lacy pointed out, giddy. “Every time I post a photo with him I swear I gain at least a hundred more followers!” She practically swooned.

It took every ounce of your strength not to throw your head back and groan out loud. Yeah, he was an actor. Yeah, he was good- and recognized for it. You’d had this conversation more times with more people than you ever really realized was possible.  And if ever he dared mention your old pal, Kris always referred to Joe as “that famous friend of yours.” Was Joe’s celebrity really all that mattered to anyone? What about his favorite Chinese food, or his theory about the end of Easy Rider? He was a motherfucking person.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, it got so much worse.

You had just closed up shop, paying no mind to the last-minute mall rats who still bustled around the other open storefronts. Before you could make your way too far past the flower shop, someone tapped you on the shoulder.

It was Joe, who proceeded to wrap you in a big hug the moment you registered his surprise presence.

He was gone for what felt like longer than ever before, but he looked way more happy to see you now, than the last time you reunited. You threw your arms around his shoulders and he lifted you off the ground for a moment, exchanging merry hello’s.

“Alright, alright! We have a guest.” Joe set you back on your feet, gesturing to a very tall and happy looking fellow you recognized from many photos.

“Gwilym.” You proudly smiled up to him, confirming you knew of him well enough to be happy to see him here now. 

“Y/n!” He pointed at you, as if this meeting were a long time coming.

Joe went on to explain how Gwilym had been staying with him the past couple of days after all the press tours and premiers were over. And how they drove all the way back here to Joe’s measly hometown because his mother insisted they both stop over for brunch, so she could get the chance to see Joe’s friend. Apparently, she adored Gwilym. You could see why, even just having met the guy, he oozed a certain gentle charm.

Joe knew to find you here at the mall, because you’d kept up your promise of sending the occasional text message update when something more than mundane happened in each of your lives. You listened to him and Gwilym yammer on about how exciting the past couple of months had been for them, taking a beat to notice how good Joe looked. There was a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen since you’d been back in the states.

And then you saw her. Lacy was leaving her shift down the way. You watched her realize just exactly who was talking to you, stop, and turn in a very big hurry in your direction.

“Joey!” She shrieked, rushing up to your best friend. Gwilym was practically shoved aside by the girl on her mission to invade Joe’s personal space. What was even more unsettling was how Joe seemed glad to see her. He pulled her into a friendly embrace that she squealed during. Even though you and Gwilym had just met, the two of you shared a befuddled expression trying to reason why you’d both been left on the sidelines all of a sudden.

Even when Joe pointed to Gwilym, introducing the strangers to each other, Lacey didn’t dare turn her gaze from Joe. She didn’t miss a beat as she went on saying;

“I’m so glad you’re here! So listen, my sisters are throwing this big party and I promised them I’d get you to come. I wanna show you off!” Lacy swayed in place, looking up to Joe through her fake lashes.

“Oh, wow uh sure, when is it?” Joe smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket as you crossed your arms, realizing you were invisible to her now. Lacy gave Joe the details and had the nerve to sweep her eyes over you as she skipped away. What the fuck? She’d spent all month popping in to “say hello” to little old you, but now that Joe was around you’d become irrelevant. She was only trying to get to Joe and you knew it all along, but you were still fuming at her disregard for you during the past couple minutes.

“That was weird.” Joe realized with a shrug, watching Lacy walk away. You knew if you responded you’d only blow a gasket, and luckily Joe was interested in moving on. Gwilym stood watching on in near comical horror as Joe snapped everyone back to business.

“Alright, listen this is very important.” Joe grabbed your shoulders, wearing another hopeful grin. “I want you to come back and stay with us, this weekend. But the thing is you need to say yes right now, cause we’ve got to leave right now.” Joe nodded. You realized he was serious or he wouldn’t have tracked you down at the mall, with the excitable, dashing Gwilym in tow.

///

Gwilym was put to work charming the socks off your mother as Joe raced you up the stairs to help pack your bags. He was desperate to make it to some very specific pizza place before it closed for the night. You just laughed as he threw your clothes into an old JanSport, before stealing it from his grasp to finish packing your thing; full of mostly new clothes you splurged on with your first big paycheck. As you packed them to wear, you felt strangely like life was finally taking a turn for the better.

When you scurried back down the stairs, Gwilym had managed to make a cup of tea and was busy trading some recipe with your mother who was sad to see him go. Joe rushed the pair of you out the door and off onto an adventure.

Gwilym insisted you take the passenger seat on the way to the city and begged you to expose the depths of your Spotify playlist, from the back. The car ride was spent laughing about the musical phases you’d all gone through, and rocking out to the classics everyone loved.

“Hey, this is fun.” It hit you as you gazed at the cars zooming past the speed limit on either side of the freeway, and you didn’t feel usually dreadful. You let the comment slip out without thinking about it, without thinking of Gwilym in the back who might have wondered why you’d be shocked to find a road trip suddenly appealing.

But Joe knew, and he smiled as if to disguise a frown. He seemed to get this same strange look on his face when you even slightly alluded to your recent past.

“John told me what happened, why didn’t you?” Joe asked, quietly, worriedly.

Oh, yeah. Your car slid off the road last month.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.” You shrugged, almost too much like a little kid. But you caught a glimpse of Gwilym in the back, pretending not to notice the shift in conversation. So you reached to turn the music up, and Joe reached for your hand.

Then you all declared this weekend was to be dedicated to nothing but having fun.

///

You made it to the city in time to hurry into Joe’s favorite pizza place an hour before closing, where you and Gwilym played the basic twenty questions of getting to know each other. And there was no stopping the way you each roasted Joe into oblivion, making him laugh all the while.

Joe’s apartment looked different than it had in all the photos you’d seen. The walls were decorated in old family photos and there were plenty of knickknacks you recognized from the years gone by, and some you didn’t. Stepping foot into his home felt strangely invasive, and you felt funny for wishing you’d been here more times than just this once.

You thought it was only natural that Gwilym took the only guest bedroom. The guy was one hundred feet tall, and you had no business taking up Joes spare California King. But Gwilym insisted the couch was just fine by him, and it was a big sofa after all. All of his bags seemed to be resting in an armchair nearby, anyhow. You couldn’t justify arguing, and soon you were shutting yourself into the spare room with sleep on your mind.

That was until rain pelted against the sealed window next to you, and you swore you saw a draft blew the blinds back. You cursed your hasty packing. You’d only grabbed an oversized tshirt instead of a sweater. After a moment of bringing your bare knees to your chest to get warm, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The apartment was dark, and Gwilym was peacefully sleeping on the L shaped sofa, borrowed knitted throw blankets decorated across his form. The glow from the streetlamp outside the kitchen window provided enough light for you to tiptoe toward Joe’s room, where soft yellow light seeped through the bottom of the door. Was he still up, too?

You knocked softly, in case he was asleep and your silly request wasn’t meant to matter. But you heard a shuffled from close beyond the door, and soon it creaked open.

“What’s up?” Joe asked, seemingly a little surprised to see you, but it was hard to read his face in the dim doorway.

“I just forgot a sweatshirt. Could I borrow one?” You asked sheepishly, folding your arms out of shyness and a bit of a chill.

“Yeah of course.” Joe breathed in sharply, turning on his feet toward his closet. The door creaked open further and you noticed Joe rub his eyes, before reaching to grab an old college sweatshirt. What was up with him tonight?

“Hey…” You cautiously began, slipping into the room and clicking the door shut. “Are you alright?” You padded toward your friend as he barely turned toward the sound of your voice.

“Uh,” Joe seemed to decide as he gently shoved his sweatshirt toward your grasp. You instinctively held it to your chest but dropped it the moment Joe turned away and started drifting toward his bed. Before he could totally answer your question he started to cry. The second you registered his snivels you darted toward where Joe stood quickly falling to piece. Then he began to explain himself.

“We said our goodbyes and everything, I shouldn’t still be so sad.” Joe croaked, covering his face with his hands so you couldn’t see his broken expression. But you felt the weight of his sadness stomp your heart out.

“You just miss him, Joe. It’s okay to miss him.” You missed his dad too, but saying so seemed selfish. Joe was still catching his breath under his hands as you pulled him toward his bed where the covers were already turned down.

You laid him down and wasted no time curling up next to him, pulling his head toward your shoulder. Joe sheepishly latched onto you while he steadied his breathing, and neither of you spoke. You just smoothed down his hair while he grabbed onto you. Joe was stronger than before.

“You are cold.” Joe noticed, chucking a little into your hair. But you sort of forgot your reason for coming in his room or the goosebumps that decorated your bare legs. You were completely comfortable in his arms. His embrace made you warmer than any sweatshirt ever could. You felt attached to him, but simultaneously cautious of the affection, you didn’t deserve this kind of all-encompassing comfort. Why was Joe’s embrace so much more multiplexed than it had been some odd years ago?

Joe was quiet, but the silence was heavy with whatever was on his mind. You could tell he wanted to say something more, but he never did. You lay together in understanding silence, trying to unravel your tangled thoughts about it all. But the effort made you tired and you drifted off there with Joe.

You woke up later, completely unsure of the time, but noticing the sun had yet to rise. Joe was still lying against you, now in peaceful sleep. You almost felt bad for squirming out from under him. You would hate to disrupt him, and his body was warm against yours. But you knew you couldn’t stay. Tiptoeing toward his door, you scooped up the previously abandoned college sweatshirt, squeezed through the door and back down the hall to the guest room. It was still cold, maybe even colder now.

///

Later that morning you awoke to a clattering from the kitchen. You slid some short on under Joe’s sweatshirt and ran your fingers through your hair before padding out of the guest room to discover what was happening.

Joe and Gwil were dressed for the day, drifting around the kitchen, arguing over something like an old married couple.

“Good morning mom and dad.” You snickered, grabbing your bottle of water from the night before, and watching Joe and his friend point to the oven. Joe shot you a look but turned his gaze back to Gwilym to finish the argument.

“If the fork comes out clean, it’s ready!” Joe pointed to the oven.

“Yeah, but you stuck it in the side, not the middle! You gotta go for the middle!” Gwilym argued. You took a sip of water and watched on in amusement. Had they really woken up and headed straight into baking something?

Joe turned to you, making some kind of whine as if pleading for you to help him prove his point. But Gwilym was right.

“He’s right.” You pointed your bottle toward Gwil who proudly sauntered behind the island to join you there.

“Ha!” Gwilym boasted.

“Ha? That’s the best you’ve got?” Joe playfully jabbed.

“It’s Welsh for ‘fuck off I’m right.’” Gwilym falsely reported, trying to save his comeback. Hey, that was good. You might steal that one. Joe laughed but looked at you with that same funny little micro-expression like he couldn’t choose between horror or sadness. But you couldn’t help go on smiling.

“You’re from there, right? Wales?” You moved your eyes toward Gwilym, who leaned against the counter toward you.

“Well no. Me mum is. I’m a fraud.” Gwil rose a brow and made you chuckle.

“Well, that’s a shame. We could have had our own secret language.” You gently admitted. Gwil kept a curious eye on you as he moved to sit next to you.

“You speak Welsh?” He asked, reaching for his cup of coffee across the island.

“I lived there for a while.” You shrugged.

“What the hell! Joe’s talked for ages about you but never mentioned that.” Gwilym cast a befuddled glance to Joe across the room.  Joe talked about you back when you weren’t talking to each other? He was occupying himself with putting a couple of dishes away. You couldn’t read his face when he stepped closer toward the opposite side of the island. Joe responded by lifting his phone in the air and snapping a photo of you and Gwilym in the middle of the morning lit kitchen.

“What was that for?” Gwilym laughed.

“Something to remember you by when the oven catches on fire because we left this damn dessert in too long.” Joe fanned his hands around. You laughed out loud, utterly delighted to be amidst the chaos. You’d missed this side of Joe. His wit and spunk had sort of all but fizzled out through the winter. It was nice to see he hadn’t lost his touch.

The photo he took was accidentally wonderful. The bright kitchen looked like heaven around you and Gwilym, sleepily leaning on the counter.

“I’ve got to post this! Or do you want too?” Gwilym asked, pointing to the picture on your phone. You had an Instagram but scarcely used the platform outside of admiring other people’s posts. Something about how excited Gwilym became and how pretty the picture was made you excited to open the old dusty application. You sent the photo to yourself and posted it to your Instagram without hesitation. It looked like the start of something new. The bright white photo stood out among the rest of your grainy theme, mostly filled with photos of you and Tegan from the pub in Wales. You tagged Gwilym and Joe.

///

That day became a game of sneaking candid photos of each other. You snuck up on each other as you strolled through the city streets and snapped shots of one another buying ice creams and looking in storefronts. But the game got out of hand. Gwilym took one photo of Joe when he was least expecting it, as he was standing on his tiptoes to reach for something in a candy store you’d fallen into the trap of. Gwilym decided it was blackmail, and then the game was on. You got a photo of Gwilym taking a massive bite of lunch and Joe got one of you making some dumb face as you had to wait in line to use the restroom.

All the while, you felt hyper aware of your surroundings and started to take more photos of stickers on light poles and titles of books that were far too expensive but probably cheaper on resale somewhere. You watched Joe open a picture book of old school baseball players. You couldn’t help but snap a shot of the way he held the book open upon the stack of others. His long fingers ghosting over the pages like a treasure. The sun casting patterns across the scene.

“What is happening to you?” Joe laughed at your newfound hobby.

“We’re having fun, remember? I am anyway.” You chuckled, raising your camera inches from his face to snap a photo and giving him a mischievous grin before you scurried away. Joe’s laughter followed you out of the shop and all around the city.

//

That night Joe hyped you and Gwilym up into getting a little dressed up and going to a bar after dinner. Luckily the newer purchases you packed included a nice enough dress. Then you ended up at a piano bar. Something stuttered in your heart when you noticed the excitement in Joe’s eye’s as they peered into yours. You hadn’t played the piano since you sold your keyboard a couple of years ago. You barely even thought of playing, actually. But Joe clearly had picked this place for a reason, with the knowledge that it had always been your dream.

The piano bar was complete with green naugahyde and mahogany wood, totally stuck out of time but still classy somehow. The crowd varied in age, and you were charmed to find a girl younger than you playing the baby grand on the risen velvet stage.

You, Joe and Gwil sat in the middle of the room, at a cozy table. You ordered dark drinks and listened to each other’s stories while other peoples chatter blurred into the background. Joe ordered something fruity with a straw and held it in front of you, insisting you try it. You took a sip and looked to your friend with wide eyes to confirm it was super good. Gwilym snapped a photo of the two of you then.

“Awe, see, that’s the opposite of blackmail!” You chuckled.

“Or is it?” Gwilym shot you a menacing grin as he stood to order a new drink at the bar. Before you could decode his secret message, a voice caught your attention.

A nice looking gentleman with a German accent tapped on the microphone at the front of the stage as your friend walked away.

“Tonight we are inviting you lovely crowd to come up and play if you know how, or even just want to. Don’t be shy, but do take turns!” The man encouraged, slinking off stage while waving for the crowd to get up and muck about.

“You should.” Joe leaned forward, speaking quietly just to you. His soft gaze made your heart crack a little. You weren’t about to do that. But you almost wanted to, just because of how excited he looked. Had he known this was going to happen? Or was he just dazzled by the hands of fate opening this random door?

“Oh, I don’t know.” You shrugged sitting up a little. Joe did the same, following your gaze. “I haven’t played uh… for a while.”

“Oh, really?” Joe frowned. You didn’t want to disappoint him. You knew he chose this place just for you. But you couldn’t lie.

“I sold my keyboard years ago.” You sorrily shrugged, recalling the time you had no other choice to pay rent. And realizing now that you never told Joe out of some kind of shame. You’d moved overseas with big plans to play, and they all crumbled around you.

“Oh…” Joe bit his lip and got that look in his eye that you realized he always got at the mention of Wales.

“Okay listen.” You turned to Joe, gently demanding his attention. You’d had enough wine to delve into this conversation. And you had finally become fed up with how Joe always seemed more upset that you at the mention of your past.

“Kris and I were like… broken up or something for like, months near the end. Things weren’t good. All I’m saying is that things with him were over before they ended for real. And I don’t miss him. I don’t. I know I should. That’s what keeps me up at night. But I don’t miss him. So please don’t look at me like I’ve lost everything.” You spoke, reaching out touch Joe’s arm. He uncrossed them and turned to face you then with an answer.

“What happened to your 'it’s okay to be sad’ speech from last night?” Joe furrowed his brow, speaking a little louder than you had been to get his point across. But you didn’t feel better for talking about this, like you thought you might.

“This-” You sighed a groan, wanting to suddenly move far away from this topic. “This is different. My life in Wales died when Kris did, okay?” You decided, getting a little angry at the end of your sentence. You wanted to move on. That’s when Gwilym reappeared, a new drink in hand.

“Should we… maybe call it a night?” The lean Brit suggested, glancing between you and Joe. Your friend looked like he had more to say, but you couldn’t go on talking about it all tonight.

“No!” You demanded. “Sit down right now so we can have fun!” You’d gotten your first taste of good times after fearing they’d never come again, and you weren’t ready to give them up.

“This place is beautiful and I’m glad you picked it out, Joe.” You looked to him sincerely and his once-troubled expression softened. You hadn’t realized you left your hand on his knee until his fingers rested on top of yours.

///

After a few rounds of drinks and jokes about things you missed laughing about, you found yourself locked away in Joe’s guest room for the second night in a row; comfy in the sweatshirt you once asked to borrow (now sort of taken hostage.) Your phone rang as you turned down the bed, and you answered right away.

“Helllooo!” Tegan chirped from the other line right away, like she’d been waiting on to hear from you for weeks on end.

“What have I missed this time?” You laughed, snuggling against a heap of pillows.

“Me! You’ve missed me. Actually, I suddenly feel like I’m the one missing out.” Tegan playfully scoffed on the other line.

“Well, of course, I miss you but what are you talking about?” You wondered. Tegan knew the only activities that filled your days were sleeping, working and occasionally seeing Joe.

“I’m talking about the dreamboat in your Instagram post! What kind of bender are you on? Does he have a hot brother or would he be interested in-”

“Oh, God.” You cut her off with a laugh, afraid of what she might say next. “He’s Joe’s friend from the movie. And that’s all.”

“So he’s single and ready to dial my number then?”

“Well, he is Welsh.” You chided.

“I know, I stalked his profile long before this interrogation.”

“So then what’s with the twenty questions?” You laughed. Tegan never failed to keep you guessing.

“I was trying to get you to admit you miss me and this place so much that you’d found a tall handsome fellow to bring you back round.”

“No, no I’ll come back on my own someday, dear.”

“I know.” Tegan lowered her voice as if someone else might have been listening.

“I’ve got to find my sea legs though, yeah? I haven’t had a nightmare in a couple of weeks.” You proudly state, tossing the covers over your legs.

“That’s because you’re living the dream, honey,” Tegan stated, as if she really meant it, as if it wasn’t a joke.

After chatting a while longer about how she’d been managing the pub without you and filling you in on the happenings about the quaint little Welsh town, you had to call it a night when your eyes could hardly stay open.

After you hung up, your phone buzzed a few times in a row. Who could possibly try to be getting ahold of you now? You checked to find a notification from Instagram, about a new follower. Assuming Gwilym had just finally got around to liking the photo you posted featuring him, you went to go admire it one last time. But before your eyes focused on the photo in question, a shocking number arose from your notification button.

You had hundreds more followers and more than a thousand likes on your newest photograph. below hundreds of comments.

y'all are so CUTE!

Why is Joe tagged?

Is that his sister?

Where is Joe?

Oh shit, you thought. These boys really mattered to people who didn’t know them. They found you all because you’d tagged Gwilym and Joe. They wanted to know why Joe was tagged. They cared. The astounding influx of followers and likes alarmed you for a few seconds, as you stared at your profile, wondering if you should delete everything. But why? You were proud to finally have something to post about that wasn’t old a grey.

Just as you thought of closing out the app, another notification popped up, unlike all the rest. Joe had tagged you in a photo. He’d just posted the picture of the two of you that Gwilym had taken at the piano bar. The one of you drinking from the glass Joe is holding while you’re looking at each other. In his caption, only a couple of music note emojis.

///

Gwilym left the next afternoon, with a long face and a suitcase full of New York souvenirs. You hugged him for a long time at the loading gates of the airport and laughed when he lifted Joe off the ground for a hug of his own. You weren’t sure if you’d ever see Gwil again, because that’s how life worked. But instead of worrying over it, you felt happy to have gotten to know him.

Joe started the long drive back to your hometown. He blabbered on about how he needed to help his mom with something anyway so he was glad you came along in the first place, just so he could drop you back off again. But you started to feel bad about how long you’d spent mucking about Joe’s flat and wasting his newly valuable time.

“I can drive a little, if you want.” You nervously offered to spare him a little while of responsibility.

“Do you want to?” Joe shot a curious glance your way as he drove out of the city.

“I don’t mind.” Because, no you didn’t really want to. But you would.

“It’s okay,” Joe assured, settling back against his seat, both hands on the wheel.

“Well, then I can give you gas money, yeah?” You thought. You were suddenly desperate to pay him back somehow for the weekend.

“No,” Joe laughed unbelievably. “Why are you being weird?” He was still chuckling.

“Because! This weekend you’ve been absolutely way too generous. So let me do something for you! Are you hungry? I’ll get us dinner.” You waved your hands to make your point and turned to face Joe from the passenger seat.

“I guess I could eat, yeah.” Joe smiled, nodding his head toward the road as he drove. You were a couple of hours away from home, and thirty minutes from a few good stops.

“Alright! Cheesecake Factory. No buts! Step on it!”

“Do you have Stockholm Syndrome?” Joe outlandishly quizzed. You laughed. “Do I have Stockholm Syndrome?”

Joe continued to imagine insane scenarios all the way to the Cheesecake Factory. You skipped inside together and put your name in at the desk. There were three other families ahead of you in line, and a big party that had followed in just behind you and Joe. You didn’t mind the wait, and leaned against the wall next to Joe, clutching the restaurant buzzer in your fist.

“We’re going to tell them it’s your birthday, so get ready.” You smiled as if you were kidding, but you weren’t. There was a deep desperation in you that demanded you shower Joe with the kind of attention he’d shown you this weekend, and always now that you thought about it. You were tired of sulking. You were ready to get back to the way things should have always been.

“Why can’t we tell them it’s yours?” Joe jabbed your side, his sparkling eyes looking into yours with a question.

“Because tonight is very special all about you night.” You reminded as if this had always been clear.

“Alright well, I want to tell them it’s your birthday.” Joe decided, imitating a snotty brat, sticking his nose in the air as if to make his decision final. Just as you started to laugh and curse at him, someone snaked their way through the waiting area packed with people and stopped in front of you.

“You two!” A voice rang. You were looking at Joe when you heard it, and watched his eyes turn in recognition. A girl with mousy brown hair dyed blue at the tips stood in front of you, and she looked the same as she had in high school.

“Keeley!” You practically shrieked, pushing yourself from the wall to wrap her in a hug. Keeley was one of your closest friends from high school. She would invite you over to play guitar hero and help you cheat on homework. When you weren’t riding bikes around town with Keeley, you were usually with Joe, but on many treasured occasions you could be found at the baseball diamond as a trio, when her little brother was on the same team as Joe’s brother.

“I didn’t realize you were back in town.” Joe hugged the girl after you had your turn. She went to Chicago after graduating and you slowly stopped texting each other long-winded updates over the years, even forgoing checking in on social media. But there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings.

“I didn’t realize either of you were back in the country!” Keeley laughed, looking between you and Joe.

“Oh, God I’m sorry, babe-” Keeley turned around and wrapped her fingers around someone’s wrist. “This is my fiance Rebeca.” Keeley beamed a smile at a woman with big brown eyes and a timid smile.

“This is Y/N, who I will always be indebted to for getting kicked off the volleyball team when she took the blame for the time I slashed the principal’s tires.” Keeley fawned over you as you shook your head in remembrance.

“And this is Joe, our resident movie star and the only person who has ever beaten me at Scrabble.” Keeley gestured to Joe as her fiance cocked her head. You knew that look. Joe did too.

“Hey- weren’t you in that Queen movie?” Rebeca pointed up to Joe with a smirk. He let himself smile and started to give a coy nod as he turned his eyes toward you, for some reason.

“That’s why you were so excited to see it, huh?” Rebeca turned to Keeley and your old high school friend started to laugh.

“I’ll always go see your movies, Maz. I’ll even sit through shitty cop shows just to see that cute face of yours. You’re really good, ya know that?” Keeley gave Joe a playful punch in the arm when your buzzer started to go off.

“I’m still much better at Scrabble than anything else.” He smiled.

“Man, we’re being summoned.” You frowned, holding the timer in view.

“Call next time you’re in town!” Joe demanded toward the girls, preparing to follow you toward the desk. You reached out to give Keeley a quick hug. You waved to Rebeca and assured it was nice to meet her as the ladies turned to leave.

“Come on, birthday boy.” You grinned, looping your arm through Joes and foiling his plans to foil yours.

“It’s your birthday? Happy birthday!” Rebeca called over her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Joe sighed through his teeth, dragged you away giving you a look that made you laugh out loud. You totally won whatever game you were playing tonight.

But just nanoseconds before Keeley and Rebeca were out of earshot, you heard your friend’s fiance gush “They were so cute together!”

But you were too distracted by a friendly hostess to let the distant comment sink in.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

#joe mazzello #joe mazello x reader #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello imagine

[blue-eyedangel21]

I’m sorry..

So I wrote a whole essay yesterday only for tumblr to be really stupid and I lost it. Anyways, I came to write out my feelings and my thoughts before being done with this tumblr.  I've mentioned this tumblr to you before and you didn't care enough to even look at it for yourself. So I'm sure me typing all this is a huge waste of time but its worth losing this amount of time to let out everything I need to, to move on. It's time I put this all in my past. So we tried again recently.  And I fucked it up. Because that's all I've been doing for years now.  I'm really sorry, truly, for how i behaved and lashed out on you. It's not okay how I handled that situation.  But I have told people time and time again that I am NOT doing well mentally or emotionally. And I was not kidding nor exaggerating, as you had to find out the hard way. I did try to calm myself down when I was mad and said how I felt and what I thought at first in the most calm way I knew how then you proceeded to be an asshole and talk to me sideways. So I lost my shit. You had the opportunity to see my ugly"asshole" side.  You say I can't handle yours  when I dealt with it for a year, but you couldn't handle mine after ONE time of lashing out on you. I did NOT ghost you. I told you in the voice clip, that I was done. YOU said you weren't listening to it. So therefore it was your fault that you didn't know i was done. Your fault that you didn't take the time to hear what I had to say and went around saying I ghosted you. In that moment of anger, I was done with you. But of course like always after my anger and feelings have calmed down, I felt like shit and regretted how I behaved and the stupid decisions I make when I'm upset. So in all of that out of control emotion, I lost you. And IT IS MY FAULT. And yes I do regret it. But what is done is done. I admitted to being the problem.  But im not all of what was wrong in that relationship.  You too had issues of your own that you did not hold yourself accountable for. And I dont find it fair that I had no problem admitting I was the issue and holding myself accountable for that and my behavior. However I rarely ever heard you own up to your shit. So I'm not taking all the blame but I can take most of it because some of it was me too and not just you. But I bet you are okay with me taking the blame for all of it. The constant leaving you was not because I wanted to but because of how you made me feel. Yet I felt like I couldn't live with you, I also couldn't live without you. And that was the confusing part. Why i probably kept going back and forth. I never felt this way about anyone . I never felt like I couldn't live with them but I couldn't live without them either. You have disrespected me many times and I bit my tongue and said nothing. My whole life I've been around drama and bullshit and narcissistic abuse.. so I dont know how to be confrontational in a healthy way or how to communicate effectively without feeling like im always the problem or im wrong or my feelings are wrong. And etc. It's hard to explain but a lot of that has to do with what I had to deal with growing up and still somewhat dealing with it as an adult. So im trying to break myself from bad, unhealthy, toxic behaviors and habits. So thats why im still doing and reacting the way i am. I am 25 years old and still dealing with that shit, its not part of my past yet, but it will be. So thats just explaining why I'm like this, not excusing it.  So the times I left were mostly YOUR fault. But you also left at least  2 times too..so it isn't all me. Every time I would for sure leave you alone, youd come running back. Just when I thought I could move on here you were. And sometimes I was the one running back. Like I said i was confused. But im not running back this time. I'm not gonna reach out to you. I dont hate you nor do I love you any less. I still love you with all of my heart and that hasn't changed nor will it ever even if that has changed for you because of how I've hurt you. But for me this is speaking my truth. And thsts the truth. I'm sorry that i threw everything we were trying to build together, in the garbage over an argument and because of my emotions and my mental health being so terrible. If I could go back and change that I would but we are better off going our separate ways. I'm sorrh I had to block you but I had to block Sierra too. I do not appreciate her posts. Feel what she may but what I wrote was honest and wasn't just about you but about others I've hurt along the way. You are not the only one. I don't care that she feels that way or if she doesn't like me anymore. She's not in my shoes nor are you, to understand or try to understand. I already admitted to being the issue so if she didn't like what I posted on my fb she could've just deleted and blocked me. But instead of reacting in a bad way i deleted and blocked her because i dont need negativity when im trying to heal and move on. I dont need her judgmentYou sent19 minutes agoNor do I need yours. You are always gonna see me as the bad guy and that's fine. But im no longer looking at myself that way. I'm seeing a woman who is trying to break herself from toxic ways and toxic behavior but is struggling to do it while also going through a lot of shit. Im flawed just like you..I'm not perfect. Not even close to it. I've been understanding and patient and always trying to see your perspective and its never really been a two ways street with you. You expect that from me but don't expect to give it back. And I'm tired of that. Been tired of that. I put it in alot of effort to make shit work when I was trying to fix things but I got tired, Bee. I didn't take you seriously because every time I tried to i didnt feel like you were taking it seriously enough to change your ways and your lifestyle. I wanted you to work so you had an income to better yourself and your future and also to help tatianna with Julian. As a single mom it is hard to take care of a kid by yourself and I wanted you to try to help her financially at least.  And not only a job but to stop drinking because I don't want you to end up in a coffin at such a young age. And to leave behind your son. How fair is that to Julian?  I love you, bee. I never want anything bad to happen to you even if you don't believe that. You're the only one who doesn't see how much i love you or how bad you have had an emotional toll on me. For some reason you're blinded by all of that. You say i didn't love you but if i hadn't I would've been done with you the very first time we broke up in November . But no I fell hard for you and put a lot of effort and love into us only for us to fall apart. So.. I hope you know i wanted a family with you too. I wanted to wake up next to you and my daughter,  and one day maybe. Not just my daughter. But a child of our own. With big blue eyes and curly hair.. that looked like you. I wanted a lil boy that looked like you with my eyes and hair and your face.  I wanted that more than i could tell you. I never could tell you that because i got embarrassed.  But I wanted that, with you. Not anyone else and now i feel like that I don't want another relationship.  Nor do i want to even bother starting over with someone else and feeling like this again. I don't even care anymore. Im so drained and exhausted. You were the love of my life. I fucked it up and now the bed I made, I have to lay in. So yeah you get the satisfaction of knowing I'm hurting and regretting what I did. But I get the satisfaction of never allowing myself to make this mistake again with another person and to focus on my issues with myself so I don't bring this kind of baggage and problems into my future relationships.  So maybe it's for the better that we move on. Maybe one day you can forgive me  enough to not hate me and maybe if I'm lucky enough to at least call you my friend.  I loved you like I've never loved anyone and it is hard to write without crying but I know that sometimes life is pain and heartbreak and that if we were ever meant to be than maybe somewhere down the road we could rekindle a friendship or more but maybe the timing is off and you were my right person but wrong time. . Maybe you'll come back...maybe you won't but please know you had my heart like no others. I felt that in my soul.  I felt it when I looked at you. When I thought about you. When i talked about you. When I looked in your eyes. When you smiled or laughed. When you were doing whatever and I was just staring at you. With every kiss. Every moment in your arms. When you were sleeping so peacefully.  When you were being you, I felt like i was home and I cant tell you the last time i felt that way. It was when my grandma was alive. So to find someone who was even close to feeling like home is a serious misfortune to lose like this. And losing you and this relationship will be a grieving process for me. I had to lose the one thing that brought me happiness, wholeness and love. So I'm heartbroken it has come to this because of my actions. But I love you Bee. Please take care of yourself.

[lovemesomesurveys]

How do you feel about full length beards? I’m not into a lot of facial hair. I like some scruff, but that’s it. Have you ever been to a circus? Yeah, once. I was naive and didn’t know about the abuse that went on at the time. Do you know anyone who’s gone to a Fat Camp? No. Do you use Facebook IM everyday? No. I don’t even remember the last time I used it. How many surveys have you done already today? This is my first.

What’s the WORST show on Adult Swim? I don’t care for the Adult Swim shows. Family Guy and American Dad is okay, but after that it gets too stupid and weird for me. Sorry. Like once I saw this show, Mr. Pickles, and uh... wtf. The episode I saw was very disturbing. I don’t get the appeal of Rick and Morty at all. And why the hell is Mike Tyson Mysteries a thing? That’s just to name a few. I see previews of other shows and I just... wow. Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? No. Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? Not maliciously or because they thought it was horrible and wanted to embarrass me, but yeah. My mom has posted photos where she didn’t see anything wrong and she thinks I looked fine, but I was like EW NO take that down it’s hideous. I reallyyyy don’t like photos of me taken by someone else. I have to take my own photos if I’m going to take one at all because I know the angles and lighting and can add a filter. Plus, I can take a ton before finally settling on one. If someone else takes the photo and they want to post it, I have to approve. Which grade in school was the most fun for you? I enjoyed elementary and middle school. High school had its ups and downs, but there were parts I liked. I liked the last 2 years the best. Which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? I wouldn’t want another pet right now to be honest. We have our doggo and one suits our family best right now. Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? No, thankfully. I have other issues I struggle with, but not drama. Do you ever just want to go away to a new place where no one knows you? I don’t live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and I was never Miss Popularity, so apart from family and a few other people, not a lot of people know me. However, I do want move away to a new place. My family and I have wanted to for a long time, we just haven’t been able to. A change of environment and scenery would be really nice. You’re ordering a pizza, you can have any kind of toppings, what are they? I’m a simple gal, I just like white sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, garlic, spinach, and crumbled meatballs with pesto drizzled on top. Do you hit ‘quiet’ or ‘ignore’ on your cell? Which one usually? Nah. If my phone rings and I don’t want to answer it, I just let it ring. Do you ever regret giving your number to people? I have before with some people. Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? Haha yeah. Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? Nope. Does/did your high school have pop machines? No. They decided to remove them the year I entered high school, which I was mad about. Do you use a public computer, or do you have your own? I have my own laptop. Do you ever find it odd how you type LOL when you’re not really laughing? >> No, because I understand that its function has moved far beyond representing actual laughing-out-loud. <<< Yeah. I remember discussing that in a class once. Have you ever gambled? A couple times. Not my thing. Although, what really made my experience unenjoyable wasn’t so much the gambling, it was that the casinos I’ve been to allow smoking and I don’t do well with cigarette smoke. At all. It gives me a killer headache, makes my heart rate go up, and makes me feel dizzy and sick. It’s awful. The smell in the casinos was too overbearing for me, so I spent very little time inside. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I really don’t want to work retail. And that’s not shade toward retail workers AT ALL. I salute you, honestly. You deal with a lot of shit. What’s the shortest you would ever cut your hair? I had a “bob” for a few years. Do you listen to any deathcore? No. Do you subscribe to any teen magazines? Which ones? No. I’m also 30 years old. Do you know someone who never smiles? Never? No. Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable at work? I’ve never had a job. Do you still watch South Park? I never did. I mean, I’ve seen bits here and there before because my brother used to watch it, but I was never into it myself. Tell me one movie you’ve seen recently that sucked: My mom, brother, and I recently watched this movie on Netflix called, The Platform. It had potential and was interesting at first, but the ending was just... no. It seemed abrupt and I was just really confused. Have you ever carved something into a dinner booth somewhere? No. When’s the last time you were carded at a bar? When I last went to the bar, which was almost 10 years ago. Do you smoke little cigars? Have you ever tried them? Nooo. You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? Pfft, no I’m not babysitting. What’s the last thing you returned at a store? I very rarely return things so I have no idea. It’s been a long time. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? I don’t even recall the last time I petted a cat. Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? I haven’t in a long time. If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? I already do, I dye it red. Who’s got your heart? Me. What’s your television addiction? I have several shows that I’m into. Have you ever stringed green beans before? No. What do you do to make yourself more relaxed when you’re nervous? It’s hard to calm myself when I’m anxious, but I try to distract by talking to someone, listening to ASMR, watching TV or something on YouTube, or reading.  Do you cook? If so, what’s the last thing you made? The only thing I cook is ramen. Oh wait actually I made a grilled cheese sandwich the other day. ha.  Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Yeah, a few things. How do you usually spend your Saturdays? I spend all my days and nights the same, really. Do you make your own jewelry or clothing? Last year I briefly got into making beaded bracelets. I made a few. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? I do the same things everyday whether I’m bored or not: spend time on my social medias, watch YouTube, read, watch TV, scroll through Tumblr, do surveys, just lie there.... ha. Somedays just feel like they’re dragging and going by extra slow and the things I listed above that I like doing just don’t cut it so I just lie there mindlessly watching TV or go to sleep. Do you use drawing to describe what you’re feeling? No. Do you like the smell of new school supplies? As a kid I did. Like getting a new box of crayons. Do you give everything you do 100%? No. I certainly haven’t with life... Do you shop at any independent music stores? No. I don’t shop at any music stores. How do you feel about mainstream music? I like a lot of it.

What song lyrics describe your mood at the moment? *shrug* Do you have healthy eating habits? No. My eating habits are messed up. I have issues with appetite and other issues.

If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be? A dog. Are you superstitious? If so, what are you superstitious about? I do the knock on wood thing, but it’s just out of habit, really. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be? There’s so many places I’d like to visit. What food disgusts you the most? I don’t do seafood at all. What is your favorite thing to cook? Ramen. One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? I wouldn’t want to get lost anywhere in the dark. :O Are you claustrophobic? Yes. What is your worst flaw? Oh where to start. One thing that always creeps you out? ALL bugs. What is your biggest fear? Losing loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away... If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind? I don’t believe in reincarnation. Ideal way you’d like to die? Obviously painlessly, but jeez. If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? I like living with my family. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? Uh, a lot of things. Your favorite kind of dog? I love doggos, but I definitely have a special thing for Labs and German Shepherds. Do you have any scars? If so, how many? I have a lot of scars. I’m not going to count them. What is your favorite scary movie to watch in the dark? I don’t watch them in the dark. Unless I’m at the theater, obviously. I love scary movies, though. Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die? Cremated. What is your favorite thing to drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic? Coffee and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks. That’s also coffee, but you know what I mean. I don’t have a favorite alcoholic drink, I don’t drink. What is your favorite food around the holidays? I love either ham or turkey depending on the holiday and mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, and rolls. Easiest way to scare you? I’m such a jumpy, easily scarable (it’s a word, shh) person so you could really just say hi and I’ll jump. haha. Like my back faces my bedroom door and if I don’t hear anyone coming in or they just poke their head in to say something I’ll jump. lmao. Tell me one of your biggest secrets? Nah. What was your last nightmare about? It’s been awhile since I’ve had one, thankfully.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[emotionally-imbruised]

Im literally refreshing your account cuz I can’t wait for part of the gemma’s bestfriend!

Adjsjshs WELL WAIT NO LONGER

Accidentally in Love Pt. 2

Pt. 1

“Accidentally, I’m in love.”

There’re many things you’ve done in life that you regret. It’s all part of being human, isn’t it? Whether it be something simple like not listening to your parents when they’d advise you not to do something because they knew it would come back and bite you in the ass. Or even just taking that one extra shot of tequila while out with some friends and having full knowledge of how you have work early the next morning... Being regretful when it comes to one's actions is a part of life, and you are no exception to this fact. And boy, are you feeling slightly regretful right now.

Was it one of your brightest ideas to make out with your best friend’s brother on his couch, while he’s sick? Absolutely the frick not. But was it ever smarter of you to panic when said best friend walked in with her mother on you and said brother unexpectantly, thinking it’d be best to avoid the entire situation rather than deal with it head-on? Ha-ha nope, and now the whole scene haunts your memories on a continuous loop.

It all started on Christmas Eve. Harry had called you stating he was sick, and how he didn’t want to be alone for the holidays after he’d gotten the news that Anne and Gemma would no longer be able to visit him because of the poor weather conditions in London – so he invited you over instead. Spending time alone with Harry was nothing out of the ordinary for you seeing as you’d grown quite close to the Rockstar throughout the years due to your friendship with Gemma. You never really considered him as anything other than a best friend despite the butterflies that always swarmed in your stomach whenever you were nearby one another.

A pathetic crush is what you believed it to be, and you treated it as such. However, all of that was thrown out the window after watching two rom-coms with the curly-haired boy cuddled up on his couch, and it was soon discovered that he’s felt the same about you for some time – and well, things got pretty heated after that.

Even with the countless times you’ve imagined the way Harry’s lips would feel being crashed against yours, there was still no chance in hell that you could’ve ever prepared yourself for how lost you’d get in his touch, and that’s precisely what happened. So very lost that neither of you noticed the sound of car doors closing outside or the soft chatter from the two women that had just arrived at Harry’s home. It all happened so fast once the two walked through the front door, and you couldn’t prepare yourselves for even the thought of them witnessing the two of you all over each other in that hot mess.

At first, everyone stayed silent, and it only went downhill from there. The shock that registered on not only Anne’s face at the scene in front of her but also your best friends will forever be etched into your mind, and it’s the absolute worst. You struggled to find your words as you immediately tried to defend your actions to two women that have become such a massive part of your life but were unable to get a word out as you shifted awkwardly on Harry’s lap and felt his increasingly hardening erection rub against the inside of your thigh.

The gasp that left your mouth as you quickly glanced down at the very prominent bulge making itself known through his track pants didn’t go unnoticed by Harry’s family when Gemma finally spoke up. “Oh my god.”

You nervously bit down hard on your bottom lip as you quickly scrambled off of Harry and you both stood up from the couch as you observed your best friend shake her head dramatically; trying her best to look at anywhere but at you and her brother.

“Mum, Gem, wha-what are you doing here?” Harry stammered as he briskly stood from the couch, and his face visibly became noticeably paler. No more words were exchanged as he instantly pressed a hand over his mouth before bolting around the sofa, past his mum and sister, and down the hall to the closest washroom. Soon enough, the only sounds that could be heard were that of him retching and coughing as he was so obviously busy with emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Anne wasted no time in rushing after her son, but Gemma stayed planted firmly; looking at you in complete shock and confusion after what she’d just witnessed. An awkward moment passed and just as you were about to finally say something – Anne’s voice sounded from down the hallway requesting Gemma’s assistance in helping with Harry. The oldest Styles sibling took a deep breath before shaking her head again and disappearing down the hall with her family.

A part of you wanted to follow right after them to make sure Harry was ok, but your inner coward which happened to be very present at the time had other plans. Without even thinking about it, you wasted no time in shuffling around the couch and into the hallway, so you could make your sweet escape. Your heart pounded harshly in your chest as you struggled with putting your coat and shoes back on out of fear. Any one of the three could see you trying to flee. Once you were finally situated, you dashed out the front door to your car without looking back.

That was over two weeks ago, and the situation has yet to be resolved.

Besides the obligatory Merry Christmas and Happy New Year text exchanges between best friends – you and Gemma have not communicated, and you’ve been ripping yourself a new one over it.

During that awkward week between Christmas and New Year’s where everyone is all over the place, and no one really knows what day it is; you managed to run into Anne while you were out getting some lunch and she asked if she could tag along. There was no way you were going to turn down the woman who has become nothing short of being like a second mother to you, and it was one of the better choices you’d made in recent days. After expressing how sorry you were for the mess you felt you’d caused, she immediately shut that down and said your apology wasn’t necessary.

“Sure, the situation could’ve definitely been handled a bit better,” she explained, causing you to chuckle softly. “But you and Harry are both adults and if you both have feelings for each other, who am I to say anything about that. M’actually quite glad it’s you he’s taken a liking to even though that’s a bit prejudice for me to say because you’re already part of the family, Y/N. I know Gemma feels the same way, but she needs time to process what happened.”

Your entire exchange with Anne made you feel better, but you were still afraid to face your best friend and knew that needed to change. After sending a text stating how sorry you were with how things were handled and how you were ready to talk whenever she was, but unfortunately not hearing anything back; you decided to give her space she so clearly needed.  

And then there was Harry. After the entire incident, he wasn’t long texting and calling you trying to talk, but you cruelly left him on read and ghosted him for the last two weeks other than wishing him a happy holiday as well.

You’ve felt like absolute trash for ignoring Harry, but you have been too nervous about facing him. What if he didn’t mean what he said about liking you as well? Maybe he was just as caught up in the heat of the moment as you were and was just a little horny. All of these thoughts have drilled themselves into your brain, and you haven’t prepared yourself to deal with them just yet. Oh, and to top it all off… You managed to get sick as well.

You’re currently bundled up on your couch watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine as you reach towards the Kleenex box sitting on your coffee table, besides what’s left of the still steaming bowl of soup you just made because that’s all your stomach can hold down without making you want to vomit.

There is not one appealing aspect of your current situation, and you can’t help but think this really is just the icing on the cake with everything else that has happened. Damn Harry and his overly appealing germ-filled lips.

Just as you finish blowing your nose into one of the tissues while Jake and Amy start going off about something on the television, your phone chimes with a new text message and you’re startled by the sudden noise. You toss the tissue into the small trash can you have placed next to the couch and dig your phone out from under the pillows to see it’s Gemma asking if you are home. After replying with a simple ‘yes,’ you find yourself staring at the small screen awaiting a response – but it never comes. With a defeated sigh you lay your head against the large armrest of the couch and allow the exhaustion you’re feeling start taking you over – but just as your eyes flutter shut, your front door swings open and suddenly you’re wide awake.

You scramble from your laying position to see who just barged into your apartment but result in you falling down onto the solid hardwood floor with a loud thud. The embarrassed moans that leave your mouth are drowned out by a familiar chuckle, and you soon open your eyes to be met by Gemma’s as she glances down at you with a smirk. She doesn’t say anything as she extends her hand out to help you up, and you just shake your head as you accept her assistance.

“Sorry for barging in like that,” she starts and holds up her set of keys once you’re standing upright; showing off the extra key to your apartment you’d given her a while ago to use for whenever she was in LA visiting. “Decided to just let myself in.”

“What-.”

“Am I doing here?” She cuts you off, and you nod desperately. “Well I’ve been thinking, and these last two weeks have sucked a whole lot without having my best friend to talk to. I’m also getting pretty sick of this one’s never-ending sulkiness.” She gestures behind her to where Harry awkwardly stands, looking like an absolute mess, and you make no attempt in hiding your shock at his sudden presence. He’s obviously still feeling sick with how tired and groggy he looks in his loose grey hoodie and simple fitting jeans, and your guilty conscience comes in at full swing as you find yourself stepping towards him.

“Oh fuck, H,” you whisper as his cloudy green eyes meet yours with a hard-unreadable gaze but soon softens and replaced with concern as you’re taken over by an intense coughing fit.

“Y/N, please tell me you’ve gone to the doctor,” he asks immediately, and you feel even worse because even with how shitty you’ve been to him lately; your wellbeing is still a priority to him.

“Brave of you to assume there’s a likelihood of her leaving the apartment at all if she’s as sick as you’ve been,” Gemma pipes in and you look to her. “Y/N doesn’t do the doctors Harry, you know this. And wow, this is what you both get for making it to first base on that damn couch.”

And there it is. “Gem, the last thing I wanted to do was make you uncomfortable with any of this. It kinda just… happened,” your voice rasps out with another small cough at the end of it.

“I know,” she smiles, and you feel as if a weight has been lifted from your chest. “Can’t say I’m the biggest fan of my best friend and brother being all over each other like the way you two were, but I can say that you two are each one of the few people I think are actually good enough for the other. Y/N, as weird as it is to even think about – you’re one of the best people I could ever imagine my little brother with; and Harry, you’ve got some work to do, but Y/N can help you get to her level.”

“Thanks?” He grumbles, and you chuckle. His eyes then find yours, and you both give the other a knowing nod before engulfing Gemma in a tight group hug.

“Ew, no stop,” she whines and tries to squirm away. “I don’t know whatever illness it is you two have been passing around.”

“You love it,” you state and lean your head onto her shoulder, smiling widely as she wraps her arm around you and tilts her head against yours.

“It’s alright I guess,” she responds as your group hug slowly disperses. “I’m going to go though because I have plans with mum. But I’ll be back tomorrow with your Christmas gift, ok?”

“Of course. I’ve got yours as well, along with your birthday gift I forgot to bring to London with me when I visited at the beginning of December.”

“Worst best friend ever,” she jokes before giving you another hug, nodding to her brother, and disappearing out the front door. You were half expecting Harry to follow after her, but you’re pretty glad he didn’t so you can finally talk to him and get some things off your mind.

You turn to face him, and he awkwardly glances to the ground; not knowing how to approach the situation, so you do instead. “H, I was so caught up in worrying about your mum and Gemma I didn’t even consider your feelings in all of this, and I know I’ve said it a lot lately… but I’m especially sorry for how I just left after well, we kissed and-.”

“S’alright Y/N,” he chuckles at your rambling, and you feel yourself melting as he flashes you one of his giant dimpled grins. He steps towards you, and those damn butterflies in your stomach don’t hesitate in swarming. “I’ve never had a girl walk out on me like that before.”

“Is that supposed to sound appealing to me?” You scoff and keep yourself from snapping at him for the snide comment.

“No, I guess not,” he continues laughing, and you let out a huff. “But m’ sorry as well because I never told you how I felt about you sooner. It’s been for quite some time now, I’ve just been too much of a coward to do anything about it. S’a bit intimidating having feelings for someone who is not only your sister’s best friend but also one of your own. Not necessarily an easy thing to discuss.”

“We could always start talking about it slowly?” You suggest and smile at him shyly. “Could watch a movie and see where the evening takes us?”

Your thoughts instantly go back to what happened the last time the two of you watched a movie together and know he’s thinking the same thing; having no control over the blush burning its way across your cheeks.

He smirks smugly but slowly nods in agreement. “I’d like that.”

With a stupidly wide smile, the two of you make way to the couch and bundle up again… together. Once you’re both comfy and all cuddled against the other, you glance up at him and speak again. “It’s your turn to pick the movie.”

The way he smiles and tugs his bottom lip in between his teeth make you want nothing more than to press your lips against his again, but you decide to hold off for the time being as he gazes down at you. “Let’s watch Shrek. I’ve had a song from that movie stuck in my head for a while now.”

#*spongebob narrator voice* one eternity later #I FINALLY WROTE IT #requests #anonymous #harry #styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry styles preference #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles #one direction imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles prompts #harry styles preferences #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #accidentally in love #ail

[taexual]

HOLIC - 7 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: suggestive themes, strong language

words: 2.5k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

          prev / next

When you got home after your lunch with May, it was nearing seven o’clock already. Even though both of you had finished two full bottles of wine, neither of you felt drunk in the slightest, so you stayed together for a little while longer just to complain about life to each other.

You ended up telling May about your roommate situation and, surprisingly, she was very calm and collected about it. You were almost confused when she shrugged her shoulders and went, “so what? You’re both adults, you can live together without dating.” You were sure the rest of your friends – although older than May – weren’t going to be as mature and understanding as she was, so you chose not to tell the rest of them yet.

Right now, you needed May’s indifferent attitude to brace yourself for coming back home and facing Jaebum – and however his date with Lily was going to end. Trying to soak up May’s maturity, you ended up staying with her longer than either of you had intended. You only got home seven hours after you’d left.

Jaebum didn’t appear to be home when you got back and you exhaled in relief. He was either still working or he’d already left for his date. Either way, instead of being upset about the fact that he had a date, you chose to enjoy your night alone and headed for the bathroom.

As soon as you checked the water in the sink and the shower both, however, your irritation from before returned. As expected, Jaebum hadn’t done anything about the water and it was still very much freezing.

Getting your phone out, you quickly texted him, not caring that he might have been on a date.

With every second that passed without his response, you were growing angrier. You were truly on the verge of going on a wild goose chase and just locating him yourself by the time your phone buzzed with his text.

You spent the first minute after you received this texts typing a long, at least, 200-word text that truly demonstrated your vast knowledge of swear words in all the languages that you’ve ever had to study, but then you deleted all of it, deciding against it. He didn’t deserve you wasting your time yelling at him, no matter how much you despised him at that moment.

If you couldn’t even take a proper shower, your whole night was basically ruined. Meanwhile, Jaebum would have a nice time on his date. It wasn’t fair and it pissed you off.

You swore your payback to him for all of this would be changing the locks of the apartment but then, once again, you decided against it. Maybe you were too kind, or maybe you just didn’t want to bother with the hassle. He didn’t deserve all of the money and energy you’d spend on this, either.

Maybe the best choice would be to just give him the cold shoulder – or completely ignore him and live as if he didn’t exist – until he actually fixed the water. Or maybe ignore him indefinitely – that was an option, too.

You threw on a hoodie, putting the hood on your head for more comfort, and then brought your laptop to the kitchen, since it was the only room in your apartment with actual chairs. You didn’t really feel like editing pictures on your bed the whole night. You could already imagine how badly your back would hurt after you did that.

As soon as you sat down, however, you ended up checking every social media you owned, instead of actually doing work. You didn’t have any official deadlines, though, so that was a relief, but you had traveled across the city last week to take pictures at this wonderful park that Hyojin had told you about, and you still haven’t edited any of them. Even if no one – aside from you and your friends – would see these photographs, you still felt like you had to make them a bit more presentable.

Although technically, the art gallery you worked in did exhibit photography, it was also one of the biggest galleries in the city so, naturally, you didn’t even dream of ever getting an exhibition of your work there. You were proud of your work – you truly enjoyed photography and, honestly, after all of these years, you could finally admit that your photographs were truly starting to look decent, for the lack of a better word – but you also had realistic expectations. It would be nice to just be recognized by a professional photographer. Getting your own exhibition was far too ambitious.

When, two hours later, you finally opened up Photoshop and actually started to work, you thought you heard something in the apartment. You figured that had to just be background noise in the song you were listening to on your headphones, but then, as you turned your head slightly, – you caught a shadow moving out of the corner of your eye and had to check if this was just your imagination, – your eyes met two silhouettes, entangled together in the hallway.

You could barely make out who it was since the only source of light in the apartment came from the screen of your laptop, but you didn’t have to think very hard to figure out who the people were.

It was Jaebum and Lily, locked in a tight embrace, their mouths on each other.

Closing your eyes as you turned away from them, you pulled on the strings of your hoodie, tightening the hood around your head, and then turned the music up so you could tune out the sound of them making out barely a few meters away from you. You didn’t really freeze on the spot as you heard them move towards Jaebum’s bedroom because your heart was beating wildly in your chest. You’ve never wished to just disappear before because that wish always seemed stupid, but, God, the things you would have done if you could have just teleported out of your kitchen right then.

Jaebum noticed you, though. He didn’t say anything – thank God for that – but that was probably because, aside from looking horrified, you also looked pissed off. You couldn’t do anything about it. Even if you’d wanted to look neutral, you wouldn’t have been able to. Your roommate was about to have sex with someone right next to your room, there was no way you were going to give him a thumbs-up and yell out encouraging words at him all throughout the night while you spent your evening working.

And then, not really having any bad intentions, Jaebum ended up not pulling Lily into his bedroom. He pulled her into yours.

After gasping quietly once you saw him do that, you tried to rationalize. Jaebum had slept on your mattress the night before, so, maybe the fact that he was willing to sleep there tonight, too – and with a girl, no less – was his way of apologizing in advance about what he was going to do in there. Not that he had to apologize for sleeping with someone. He was free to do whatever he wanted.

There was another part of your mind that considered this to be Jaebum’s way of establishing dominance by basically kicking you out of your room, but you didn’t think that was the case. Jaebum wasn’t eager to give his own room up. He wouldn’t do it just to prove a point to you.

Sighing, you accepted the fact that you’d have to sleep in Jaebum’s room again. You weren’t planning to, but he had made this decision for you. And yet, even with the knowledge that you’d get to sleep on a proper bed again while Jaebum would be stuck spending the night on a mattress on the floor, you were still upset.

Obviously, Jaebum had a successful date – you could hear the praise from Lily’s lips as Jaebum struggled to lock the bedroom. You, on the other hand? The most recent thing that came close to a date for you was a hook-up with a guy you met at a bar. It didn’t exactly end well since you were now stuck listening to him have sex with someone else.

You had no doubt you’d have to endure Jaebum brag about this the next morning, so, as you gathered your laptop and headed to his bedroom, you tried to convince yourself that the boiling rage in your stomach was only caused because he had a more successful love life than you did, and not because of a reason as stupid as jealousy.

Your alarm clock woke you up at six-thirty the next morning and you spent the first five minutes trying to convince yourself not to kill anyone. It’s become a habit by now. You thoroughly hated waking up early.

What made your morning worse – excluding the fact that Tuesdays were your first work day of the week – was the cold shower you ended up having to take because Jaebum broke something when he’d attempted to mess with you by turning the hot water off. You really couldn’t believe you haven’t moved out yet.

And then, as if going out of the bathroom with your teeth chattering wasn’t already bad enough, you walked right into Lily, exiting your bedroom. Jaebum was probably still asleep inside of it.

Before you even said anything, you noticed Lily’s wide and confused eyes. You realized that, although Lily had seen you and Jaebum move in, perhaps she hadn’t really seen you. And, judging from her shocked expression, Jaebum wasn’t very open about his living arrangements on their date, either.

“Hey,” you chose to say to clear the awkward silence. “I rent the apartment here. I live in the room next to Jaebum’s.”

Technically, the Jaebum’s room, as Lily knew it, was, of course, your room. But that was a long story and you weren’t really up for a heart-to-heart with Jaebum’s date this early in the morning.

“Coffee?” you asked from the kitchen after Lily remained frozen in the hallway.

She heard everything you’d just said because she nodded in acknowledgment but that didn’t help her feel less weirded out by this. You could tell by her eyes that if she’d known Jaebum lived with a girl – even if she’s just a roommate – she wouldn’t have gone out with him the night before.

“Uh, no thanks,” she finally spoke. “I have to go to work in a few hours. Do you mind if I just take a shower?”

“Oh, we only have cold water,” you said as you poured water from the sink and into the coffee pot.

You weren’t looking at her, so you didn’t see the way Lily opened and closed her mouth multiple times as if trying to decide what to say. You realized a little too late that you didn’t exactly sound welcoming – but were you supposed to? You’ve never had to deal with any sort of one-night-stands, or whoever Lily was to Jaebum, in the morning, not even your own – so she instantly started to feel like you just wanted her out of here.

“Alright,” she said then, lots of uncomfortable undertones hiding in her voice. “I’m going to go then. It was, um—it was nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” you called after her as Lily headed for the door of the apartment, not giving you a chance to offer to walk her out. Not that you were going to. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Not having bothered to ask for your name, Lily exited your apartment by herself, shutting the door loudly – by accident, no doubt – and heading to her own apartment as quickly as possible. She’d take a shower at her own place. Why did she even think showering at Jaebum’s apartment was a good idea? She truly should have gotten out of there as soon as she woke up, maybe that way she would have avoided you and your uncomfortable first meeting.

As Lily cherished the peacefulness of her own apartment, she made a promise to herself to never sleep with any of her neighbors again. At least not until she was certain they weren’t living with female roommates who added a new level of awkwardness to the already awkward concept of “the-morning-after.”

When Jaebum walked out of the bedroom, you were already washing the dishes after finishing your breakfast. You glanced at him and noticed the way his wary eyes scanned the apartment.

“She left,” you said helpfully. “I’m sure she thinks I kicked her out, though, so keep in mind to apologize to her on my behalf.”

“Oh, thank God,” Jaebum sighed, walking into the kitchen. You could still smell Lily’s perfume on him from last night and, for some reason, you had to talk yourself out of openly gagging. “I hate having to talk to them the next morning.”

“Huh,” you replied. “Never would have guessed that.”

Jaebum got your not-so-subtle dig. “Ha-ha. I’m not trying to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m just putting it like it is.”

“A little sugarcoating would actually be nice,” you said, turning around from the sink to see him leisurely leaning against the kitchen island, reading texts on his phone. “So, you’re planning to never talk to her again?”

“Yeah,” he replied nonchalantly. “That’s the plan.”

“You’re disgusting,” you said although you knew your words wouldn’t reach their target. Jaebum merely raised his eyes to look at you.

“We never made any promises to see each other again. She knows that,” he said. “If it’d been long-term, I wouldn’t have taken her back here yet.”

It stung somehow. You had an idea that this was how some guys – if not most – operated: they saw someone they liked, and they checked how easy that someone was by taking them back to their place. In all truth, more than half of those people probably didn’t care about hearing from these guys the next morning, but there was a small number of people who did care. You were among them. Maybe Lily was, too.

“Did she explicitly say she didn’t want this to turn into a relationship?” you asked, doubtful. “I really don’t think she wanted to have a one-night-stand with her neighbor. She had to know she’d end up having to see you again eventually.”

Jaebum shrugged his shoulders. “I told her that. I said to her that I’m not looking for a relationship. She said she wasn’t, either. Don’t bother lecturing me about it.”

You still didn’t like this. But you weren’t sure if you were defending Lily specifically or if you had some sort of a personal motive to accuse him of not being an ideal guy.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you continued, “why are you so—”

“God, look,” he groaned, annoyed by your patronizing tone. “I’m not that big of a douchebag, okay? When I sleep around, I make sure the other party knows about my intentions.”

“Oh, you do?” you scoffed. “I never knew.”

Jaebum frowned. “What?”

“Whatever,” you turned around, not in the mood to get closure about the morning he left your apartment after leaving you a dry thank-you note. You were evidently still very bitter about that and just this memory was enough to make your blood boil. “Fix the fucking water while I’m at work, would you?”

“I have work, too,” he responded, his voice equally as annoyed as yours.

“Tough shit,” you countered, noticing how much you started to swear whenever you were angered. “And change the fucking sheets on the mattress in my room. I’m not fucking sleeping in your room anymore.”

“I gave you the better bed for tonight,” Jaebum said. “And this is how you repay me?”

“Oh, gee, thanks,” you turned around to give him the fakest smile you could manage. “How sweet of you. Roommate of the year!”

He rolled his eyes.

“You’re truly annoying to deal with,” he said and heard your laughter from your room as you went in to gather your essentials. He ignored it and continued, “and here I thought we’d end up bonding.”

You laughed again.

“It’s you who’s annoying. And you’re stupid, too,” you said perhaps a little too childishly and then, after completely disregarding every conversation you had with him when he was still Def – the future, female roommate – to you, you added, “you and I will never bond. We have nothing in common.”

          chapter directory

#got7 #got7 au #got7 fanfiction #im jaebum #jaebum #got7 jb #got7 jaebum #got7 reactions #got7 imagines #got7 scenarios #kpop #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #angst #got7 angst #got7 fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #roommate au #got7 x reader #jaebum x reader #got7 roommate au #slow burn fic #got7 slow burn #got7 friends to lovers au #friends to lovers au #kpop fanfiction #got7 fic #im jaebum fanfiction

[feel199x]

best friends to lovers!

summary: it’s final, you decided that you’re going to confess your love to Hyunjin after his graduation, how does it work out?

warnings: none!

a/n: another request...wrauw;;; i hope you like it :(seungmin’s will be up soon! masterlist

Your best friend was graduating today. You were graduating yourself next week, and Hyunjin promised that he would go to yours, but of course, he was busy. You had gone to the same elementary and middle school as him but parted ways when Hyunjin attended the school of performing arts to pursue his dreams. You had expected to lose touch, but being the sentimental and clingy guy he was, Hyunjin made sure to keep in touch. And by keep in touch, you mean he texted you whenever he was free for hours. It most definetly didn’t help the massive crush you had on him either. It was always a bit ambiguous, you could never decide if he actually had a crush on you or if he was just being his regular clingy self. You didn’t mind though, just because you were friends with someone didn’t mean you were always going to end up having a crush on them, you. Especially because you realized that Hyunjin had a lot more attention on him now. Well, he always had a lot of attention in general, he was attractive but a lot of people didn’t see past that. And now that he was an idol, he was incredibly wary of new relationships and confessions, so you didn’t feel like it was your place to confess your love to him.

Didn’t mean you stopped feeling that way though.

Hyunjin had been your only real, undying crush, and trust- you did everything you could to repress these feelings. Sure, you had interest in other people before, but the feeling never lingered the way it did with Hyunjin. But today was the day, well okay, not today. But in the general area of time. Normally, you would never even let your mind wander into confession territory. But, there was something about the graduation that you thought gave you a little breathing air. Hyunjin told you that he was preparing for a comeback, and apologized profusely for being unable to give you the attention he wanted to give you. In fact, he snuck out of the dorms to come do skincare with you. You hadn’t actually invited him, you mentioned it when he asked what he was doing and he ended up rushing over.

As he talked about his next comeback you just stared at him, you weren’t even necessarily thinking about he looked, but more of what he meant to you. Relationships, whatever type they were, weren’t easy to maintain. And here Hyunjin was, spreading a charcoal mask on your skin after sneaking out of his dorms to hang out with you. Not gonna lie, it made you feel special.  You hoped he didn’t notice how you looked at him intently, dreamily, maybe a little bit intensely. He was sticking his tongue out as he did his best to spread the mixture evenly across your cheeks. His touch was always gentle like you were a flower and if he pressed too hard a petal would fall. As you looked up at him, looking at the mole underneath his eye, you decided that you were in love with him. And you needed to tell him, or you were pretty sure that you were going to confess to him randomly and blurt it out awkwardly. After he finished, and the mask dried, the both of you laid on your bed, holding hands. You forgot what he had been talking about at that point as he rested his body on the side of yours.

“Do you love me?”

“Obviously,” you said, “You’re my best friend.”

“Hm,” he hummed, “How much?”

“Too much, probably.”

“I love you more, though.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s true!”

“Prove it.”

He was silent for a bit, and you thought you could feel the hold on your hand loosen for a bit before squeezing it. “Okay,” he murmured, “Soon.”

And boy, did you have no idea what that meant. And boy, were you scared. But here you were, holding a stupidly big bouquet of flowers as people flocked to take pictures of the boys. You were more than anxious, and growing more insecure by the minute. 

The graduation process was a little longer than you had anticapted, and you let your mind wander back to some memories.

There were a couple more instances before the most recent that made you flustered whenever you thought about it. Yes, Hyunjin was clingy, you were aware, but sometimes he was very clingy. 

 There was one particular time where he climbed through your window and failed to do it gracefully. Actually, it was so bad, that your parents had shouted and asked you if everything was okay. And as you tried to play it off as a textbook falling off your desk, Hyunjin was losing his mind, trying to stifle his giggles.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered, “Did you really just come over here to cuddle?”

“Yes! I’m desperate, and I miss you!”

“You have eight members to cuddle!”

He pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, toppling over you as you fell onto the bed. “Yeah,” he whined, “But they’re not you.” You could feel your breathing constrict and your chest panic at the pulling of your heartstring. You smiled kissing the top of his head and playing with his hair. “You’re such a baby, but I love you.”

“Please, you’re clingier than I am, you’re just less vocal about it. Thankfully, I am shameless.”

“Thankfully,” you murmured.

The other time was the same circumstances. Hyunjin fell into your room with a loud thud. Really, shouldn’t he be better at this by now? And being the amazing dancer he was, shouldn’t he be more graceful? At this point, your parents had to know that your textbooks couldn’t have been falling all the time. But if they knew, they hadn’t brought it up at any point in time. You were about to scold him, but as soon as you realized he was crying, you opened your arms.

“I missed you,” you whispered, playing with his hair in a way that seemed to be therapeutic to him, “I’m sure you’ve been working really hard.” You wiped away his tears, looking at him softly. “I like when you look at me like that,” he murmured, “You’re so pretty.” You felt your cheeks flare up as you focused your attention back on his hair. “Yeah, but you’re prettier, you look like a prince, plus you’re good at everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

He repeated after you, his face inching closer to yours, lips nearly brushing against your lips. You could smell his chapstick- it was honey. “You smell like cherries,” he murmured, and you could feel his lip finally brush against yours. You thought it was finally going to happen, and you closed your eyes but he pulled away. You swore that he had said “I want to kiss them,” under his breath but you were unsure. You sighed quietly as you continued to play with his hair, even as he was napping quietly with his arms resting around you.

That kept you out at night.

When you heard the shutter of the cameras you snapped back to reality, turning your attention back to the stage. They were stepping off, and as Hyunjin did he was met with a swarm of people wanting to take a picture with him. And there it was, that pang of jealousy and insecurity. It was a human emotion, but it still wasn’t great to feel. But more than that, you were excited to see him after a while. You watched as he pulled out his phone and typed something really quickly before slipping it back into his pocket to take more pictures. Immediately your phone buzzed from your jacket pocket.

jinnie, my love: can’t meet here :( go to our regular diner, im sorry babe

you: dont worry about it! i’ll see u there

The diner he referred to was a local family diner that you had since made your go-to place. The both of you knew the owner and managers by name, and you visited there when you were missing Hyunjin and his hugs. The manager always teased you and him, sending you knowing winks as you shot her a glare. But when you came in, sad and pretty much crying over missing Hyunjin (not one of your best moments, but the guy was your best friend), she always gave you free milkshakes and advice. She waved at you when you saw you come in, and smiled big when she saw the bouquet of flowers.

“Hyunjin finally confess?”

“What? Oh, no. I’m going to, though.”

“What? Really? Look at you go! Can I do anything to help.”

“No, please don’t. I’m begging you.”

“Nah, I’m definetly interfering. And I’ll kick your ass if you don’t end up doing it.”

You sighed, shaking your head and sitting at your usual booth. The flowers were sitting on your table, and you swung your legs anxiously. You were toying with the hem of your shirt, looking down as your fingers rubbed with the loose strings. You looked up and smiled as you saw him come in.

“Hey there,” he placed his hands on the table, making grabby motions until you filled in the empty space in his hand, “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you said quietly, “ah, I got you flowers.”

“We’ll get to that,” he hummed, “I missed holding your hands.”

“We should probably order,” you said quickly, “Jina!”

The manager sauntered over, clearly already having been listening to the conversation and waiting for her cue to enter. “What can I get you two lovebirds?”

You glared at her, “We’re not-”

“The usual, Jina, and can we get strawberry milkshakes?” Hyunjin turned to you, “That’s your favorite, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“Why would I forget? I love you.”

Jina laughed, and you narrowed your eyes at her. “Alright, I better get going.” Hyunjin rocked with your hands, playing with them as you waited. He was talking about how excited he was to feel like an adult and completely devote himself to his group. You looked at him, head tilted, and if heart eyes were a thing, you’d have them.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, Jinnie,” he tightened his hold on your hand as he turned his attention to you. You could feel regret telling you to retreat, but you pressed on, “But are you busy tomorrow?”

“Yeah, actually, I’m sorry. Do you have something in mind?”

Jina came in, and like she had promised, a messy heart shaped burger was plated in front of both of you. And instead of two milkshakes, she brought one with two straws. “Enjoy, young lovers.” You bit your lip, glancing over at Hyunjin.

“Right,” Hyunjin said again, “What were you saying?”

“I wouldn’t usually, or at all- uh,” you sighed, opting to keep it simple, “I didn’t plan on doing this, right now, ‘cause I don’t want to ruin your day.”

“Do you not want to be friends anymore? I’m sorry about not being able to spend time with you anymore.”

“No! No. Ah, I’m in love with you. Like a lot.”

There was a moment of silence between you and you looked down, feeling a wave of embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your day, I can leave-”

“I’m in love with you, too. For too long, probably. Can I kiss you?”

“Yes!” Jina yelled, “Ronald, it’s happening! Ronald! We’ve done it!”

“Ignore them,” Hyunjin smiled, a blush tinting his cheeks, “Can I?”

“Mm,” you hummed, “Yes, please.”

He smiled as he looked at you, peppering kisses around your face before planting a kiss on your lips. You should’ve been embarrassed and worried about kissing in a public place like this, but Hyunjin didn’t seem to care. “You taste like cherries,” he murmured, “I’m gonna kiss you all the time.”

“That’s okay.”

“I mean it, I’m going to kiss you whenever I can. Like, all the time, like all the time-”

“Jinnie,” you kissed him, “Congrats on your graduation by the way.”

#stray kids #hwang hyunjin #skz fic #hwang hyunjin fic

[savannah-the-caracal]

Alright so last night was really hard on me, and I figured I really just needed to kind of half-ramble half sob about it, I already did the sobbing, and I just need to get it out because it just means things are going to be really rough the next few weeks, especially on sundays, specifically the 27th, which is just wrong because my 17th birthday should not be a rough day ;-;

Here’s what happened.

I have a friend in the real world. She is literally the only person I know in the real world who’s not related to me that I’ve truly opened up to at any point in my life. Those of you who know me, I’m usually starting off pretty awkward, but as we get to know each other I tend to open up.

Anyways, I’ve known this girl for going on 11 years now, we are best friends in every sense of the term.

At least, I thought we were...

Last night, before the evening worship service started at my church, I found my friend (not that hard, the attendance was like 14 people, we’re a small church in a small town) and told her “Hey you’re invited over to my house in two weeks between services for my B-Day!”

She literally says “Well it’s about time.”

...

...

yeah, so I didn’t really say anything, I was more shocked, she seemed to take my silence as nothing, because she immediatly goes “So what are we going to do? Ice skating? See a movie? Go shopping?”

Now she knows me. She KNOWS I don’t like doing big things, so now I was starting to get a tiny bit mad. (translation for non-redheads: seriously angry but trying not to show it) So I said “We’re just going to stay at my house, play some Clue, maybe watch Clue if I can find it at the library” (Clue is kinda my always obsession for board games)

She 100% said “Ugh.”

Now thankfully for her, church started and then my family had to leave right away so I couldn’t tell her what I was thinking. And you guys do NOT want to know what I was thinking.

Now before I continue, let me tell you what she planned out AND DID for her birthday party, about two weeks ago. Me, her, and two other girls she knows that I’m kiinda friends ish with, played Clue, played Jenga, and watched the Hobbit.

...yeah...

Also, I’ve brought her along for things like going to the mall with my grandmother (so im not alone in the torture known as the mall) I’ve brought her along when she’s been having rough days just to drive to town with my family. With her, I’ve sat at her house, drawn, played Minecraft (introduced it to her also) and watched movies.

I’m not going to change my plans, she is an only child so she doesn’t really quite get it, but I want to spend my 17th the way I’ve always spent my birthdays, surrounded by my family, all eight siblings, even if they’re kind of crazy. You want to know why they’re crazy? Because we have to be PERFECT outside of the house, my parents are Missionary Appointees. We are perfect angel children outside of the house. As my dad once put it ‘They could probably get away with murder at home, just so long as they’re good out of the house.”

Just having people over doesn’t change that. Home is the safe place, home is where we can be us, even if we have to hide it everywhere else. We literally had the guy in charge of approving my parents as missionary appointees over, and one of my siblings ran through the house whooping like a hell-child. The guy just laughed his head off and said it was fine when my dad (when he’s nervous he rambles which might explain me writing all of this.. he also develops a really thick southern accent) apologized.

Anyways, so I went home last night, waited for my siblings to go to bed (one of them has an eavesdropping habit) and asked my mom if we could talk. She instantly turned away from her computer where she’d been making a pinterest thingie, and I just kind of spilled everything about what had happened at church.

And I got the sad truth. Now before you read (if you even still are) please know this isn’t me saying I’m better than her or anything. I’m  just repeating what I sadly got told. Having as many siblings as I do, being forced to be the adult in some situations at only 13-16, I’ve been forced to grow up more. And being homeschooled, I’ve honestly never had to deal with peer pressure.

My friend is an only child, and recently started taking classes at the town’s highschool. After that, she started wearing makeup, and...I guess if I’m being honest with myself she started kinda splitting off.

What I’m saying is...my friend of eleven years and I are starting to split apart. She knows other people so she probably isn’t really affected by it but...she’s the only real friend I have in the real world who isn’t related to me. I was up till almost midnight last night because I was crying to hard to sleep.

So guys, if I seem depressed or am not online as often these next few weeks, that’s why. I’ve gone literally overnight from being so hyped up for my birthday, to actually dreading the event.

If you’re still reading this, then...thank you for listening/reading. I really appreciate it.

#just rambling #pay no attention #im seriously depressed rn tho #still hanging in there though

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!! 

#asks #💥 anon #my dorm is the oldest one on campus so :’) it looks a little ugly but I try my best MXJDJD #ignore the popcorn bag on the side :) #also peep the jo malone perfume LOL

[punapurreciator]

My Favorite Ladybug Writers

So I pretty recently joined the Miraculous Ladybug fandom (about 4 months?) and I went on an absolute reading spree but Noticed a lot of the fic rec lists out there are pretty sparse or there's a lot of repetition. And I figured, ya know I just read nearly 300 fics over the last few months I might as well make some recommendations XD 

So this is the first of possibly many rec lists Im going to put together for the Ladybug fandom. enjoy!

Quicksilversquared 

This writer has 89(!!!) Fanfics out there for Miraculous Ladybug and they are pretty much ALL wonderful. The writing is excellent, characterization on point and there's never a boring moment. And the great thing is that most of these stories (even the serious/heavy ones) have some degree of playfulness to them. This writer never seems to let you walk away without a smile, and that's amazing.

Here are a few of my favorites:

 The Cooking Contest - An out-of-class assignment leads to the entirety of the class participating in a cooking competition. …some people do better than others.

the Anniversary - The anniversary of Adrien's mother's disappearance was always difficult. He's sure nothing can make his day any less miserable… ...until a certain spotted superhero shows up.

the Crocodile Glasses - When knock-off copies of Jagged Stone's super-awesome Eiffel Tower start popping up, Jagged is not pleased. Still, it doesn't take long to come up with a solution- he just needs to release his own official line of sunglasses! And naturally, he needs one Marinette Dupain-Cheng to design them for him. Now, if only Marinette could figure out how to execute some of Jagged's more out-there ideas... 

Hacking the Ladyblog - Chat Noir likes taking goofy pictures on patrol. That was normal. What was not normal was those photos showing up without any explanation on the Ladyblog.

Princess to the Rescue - Chat Noir gets into a bit of trouble when the akumatized magician Exodus the Spectacular overpowers him in a fight and Ladybug is nowhere to be seen. Thankfully, a baker’s daughter joins the fight. aka Marinette totally has Bo staff fight training and kicks some villain butt.

Cuddles in a Coat - In a lot of ways, Adrien Agreste isn't a normal teenage boy. He's a model, he has a bodyguard, he's secretly a superhero.... But just like any other teenager, he'll stubbornly refuse to admit when an adult was right. Even if he ends up freezing because of it.

Otoshigo Another talented writer is Otoshigo who seems to straddle the border of utterly adorable (see: For the Love of Shoujo ) and Slightly twisted (See: Benefactor ) or even dark. This writer can play the characters as the awkward blushing teens they are, and they can just as easily (and convincingly!!!) twist their perceptions ever so slightly toward something deeper (and slightly terrifying) 

Some of the stories CAN be really weird and out there, but hey, read the tags so you know what you’re getting into and you won't have any trouble. (shrugs) 

Some more of my favorites include:

27 Secrets - “Secrets,” Chat purred, waving the photo out like a little flag. “I want secrets. Twenty-seven pictures worth of secrets. And you’ll give them to me. One picture at a time.” [Shameless Marichat]

Caught and Captured - Adrien gets caught in a little lie, that somehow only spirals more and more out of control. Is there any way to pull himself out of it? Does he even want to? [Adrienette] 

(Adrien acts like cat noir around Marinette and she thinks they've body-swapped. X3 This story Is simultaneously hilarious and heart-wrenching)  

Marinette Saves the World - Through a series of unfortunate events, average and clumsy Marinette meets a boy from the future! Who says that he needs to have sex with her to save the world? Except no. Just... no. 

(OMG this one!!! Drop what you’re doing and read it NOW!!! It's so freaking sweet and seriously romantic!!!)

Guilty Pleasures - An anonymous writer is a little too good at writing fanfiction and Marinette somehow gets roped into reading it. Problem is, now she can’t put it down. [LadyNoir] 

Chat Noir: Calendar Edition - Marinette’s class has to come up with an idea to make some cash for their upcoming class trip. However, things go awry with their plan and somehow Chat Noir gets involved. All Marinette wants is to go to Nice with Adrien. Can she make it through this without losing her mind?

Clairelutra Next up is Clairelutra who seems to make it a goal to melt her readers to piles of goo with sexual tension so thick you COULDN'T cut it with a knife. (Almost all her stories are rated as at least T) but, (as much as I love sexual tension and smut in a fic) That’s far from all this writer brings to the table. Clairelutra is a master at grabbing a readers heart and "puppeteering" (puppeteer, haha) it any way she so chooses.   

Whether she deigns to make you tear up and/or cry : ( see: river flows in you) Or gets your heart racing in her action scenes ( see: welcome to the show) or makes your toes curl during a kiss ( ALSO see: welcome to the show, and Bang Bang, and... ahem. well there are a lot.) And there's that (WONDERFUL AMAZING PRECIOUS) element of tenderness and longing in just about EVERY romantic scene that just KILLS me every time. 

Anyway, some of my favorites of hers include:

gonna miss this someday - “I mean, am I just too clingy?” Chat asked her ceiling, reclining on her lounge and tossing a spare ball of yarn up and down as Marinette beaded with a vengeance. “I know it’s just one day, but I miss her.”(When Ladybug misses their nightly friend-date, Chat asks Marinette for girl advice.)

i think it’s time i told you (i’m a fan of your universe) - “...Something up, minou?” He didn’t answer her at first, staying silent as he opened his palm and stared at it. Or rather, stared at the ring in it.

Ladybug stared, almost unseeing, at the blood-red stone nestled in its bed of diamonds, and wondered why it suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe.

(It wasn’t necessarily an engagement ring, right? She... she would’ve known if he had a lover, wouldn’t she? Chat was too much of a hopeless romantic to not gush about a significant other to anyone who would listen if he had one... right? 

It could be a memento or a gift or... something. Something that didn’t imply Chat was about to get married.)

“...Have you ever thought about getting married?” ...Or not.

you're really my dearest friend - Sometimes, the process of getting out is much more difficult than it really should be — but sometimes friends can help, if you let them.

we're the kids your mama warned you about - (A collection of PWP oneshots, mostly focusing on Ladynoir/the love square, as I try to teach myself how to sin.)

hot mess - (the sequel to Bang Bang ) ...What did one say to one's vigilante partner when said partner was in costume and he was in a bathrobe? What did one say to the lady who had pinned him to a wall and kissed him senseless, not knowing he was her partner? What did one say to the girl he had been in love with for years when he was alone with her in his room at night? "Come here often, beautiful?" Not that. Imthepunchlord Oh wow, here's a writer who knows how to balance playful with exciting really well. A lot of their fics are action/adventure driven plots and they know how to build up to that big fight at the end without making you spend half the fic dreading it. There's always too much happening for you to feel much besides excitement. Which, honestly, I LOVED about these stories.  They keep the ball rolling at a great pace and never seems to rely on exposition when they can just show you something. And that lends itself to the feeling of being right there in the story with the character. (A MUST for any good action/adventure) This writer also knows how to stretch the rules with magic and the kwami juuust right to make everything fit and still be believable (a gift if ever I saw one)

Some of my favorites from Iamthepunchlord are:

Marinette and the Seven Little Gods - Marinette been down on her luck, waiting for the day karma would give her something good, something that would make her life better! She wasn't expecting karma to give her a box, a box with seven little gods in it. 

Over the Wall - The accident, while unintentional, was costly. For her wrong doings against Chloe, Marinette is sent over the wall to die. But instead of death, she winds up in a strange, unnerving world. Good thing she'll have a cat to watch her back in this bizarre place. (inspired by a mix of movies and shows: Stardust, Beauty and the Beast, Alice in Wonderland, Secret of Moonacre, and Over the Garden Wall.)

Trouble in White - Finding your soulmate is supposed to be uplifting, and amazing, and just... miraculous. But for Marinette, it wasn't any of that. Her soulmate, he... he was... What does one do when your soulmate is an akuma?

The Ladybug and The Mer - When Captain Ladybug is lost at sea, she finds herself saved by one of the most dangerous sea beings in the world: a mer. (Merman Adrien AU)

Always a Hero, No Matter the Miraculous - (a LARGE series) it covers a big variety of  Miraculous/kwami swaps. Including such favorites as: 

Rise of Mariposa - Where Marinette is chosen by the butterfly to help Cat Noir in his fight against Harlequin who has taken possession of the ladybug miraculous for her own selfish gain.

& the short: Delicate Wings - Where Adrien is the butterfly helping ladybug fight the evil black cat from afar. 

Kindness from a Stray - where Adrien and Marinette have kwami swapped (There are several shorts like this, all equally funny/cute)

A Declaration of Love - Adrien is the fox and Marinette is the peacock <3 

(oh GOD I love this one. it's an all-time favorite. It’s very sweet and playful and its done so well that it just WORKS. I love the conflict of his feather allergy keeping Adrien (AKA Malin) from his beloved Belle Bleue XD)

Freedom_Shamrock If fluff is your thing PLEASE check this writer out!!! Freedom_Shamrock is a master of cuddles, snuggles, and hugs. Their stories just exude a soft comforting vibe that sinks into your bones and stays there for the rest of the day. But they are also INTERESTING. The conversations are memorable, The plots are intriguing and the characterization is lovely. If you want something sweetly romantic to read look no further.

Some of my personal favorites include:

Something Familiar - Marinette is a teenage witch, and it's time for her to find a familiar. (Witch AU, no kwamis, Adrien never got to go to school) ( HIGHLY RECOMENDED!!! Cutest cat!Adrien fic EVER )

A Little Light - (series)  its basically an adorable series where Adrien notices Marinette on his own and asks her out. It follows up with their first date, some problems with dating while being a superhero,  and then an accidental reveal. (every bit of this one is SO SO CUTE.)

Hugdrien (AKA: Adrien Needs Hugs) - (series) With this one the name pretty much says it all. It’s a series of stories where Adrien is having a tough time at home and Marinette and their friends/her family are there for him. 

Miraculous Acts of Kindness - (series) this series is basically a slowburn MariChat fic XD It’s super cute and fluffy but also leads into Mature waters so be aware of that! BullySquadess   @bullysquadess

Here's another writer who's clearly out to melt her readers with sexual tension But BullySquadess is out to do it with a goddamn VENGEANCE. (and she WILL make you laugh yourself to death getting there) Her stories are drop dead sexy and SUPER funny. It's the kind of well-built humor that has you cackling so loud people can hear you across the house and forces you to take breaks from reading just to BREATHE. I think the best part of this writers style for me is the hopeful longing she just pulls out of Chat like its the most natural thing in the world. It’s so so so so so sweet and it plays to his character perfectly. and she gets it just right every time.   word of caution: the writer multi-ships so if you don't dig it then check the tags before getting invested. XD

My favorites of hers include:

The Ladybugs and The Bees - Ladybug and Chat Noir tackle teenhood! Watch our heroes face the realities of growing up- surviving puberty and akuma alike as together they navigate the unknown pitfalls of love and first-time intimacy. Also dick jokes. There's like... alot of dick jokes.

Oh man who hasn't read this one? It's been on like every fic rec list i could find when i first joined the fandom. But oh WOW does it deserve it.  This sucker is 38 (!!!) chapters long so far (!!??) and I've read it THREE TIMES. I joined the fandom like FOUR months ago! And yet I keep coming back to this one becouse it's just SO GOOD. 

Seven Minutes - Post-Reveal, Adrien and Marinette continue to play chicken with their feeling. Alya, however, has other games in mind... 

Live by the Ladybutt - Chat likes Ladybug's Ladybutt. Ladybug likes that Chat likes her Ladybutt. Crack ensues.

Casual - Ladybug has grown exceptionally comfortable with her partner... which means Chat Noir is #suffering. 

The Pitfalls Of Being a Wingman - We all know the classic Marichat tale, but what's happening behind the scenes of our favorite duo's love-making?   (AKA Plagg regrets everything and it’s HILARIOUS) XDD

Cohabitation (And Other Disastrous Ideas) - These two best friends decide to move in together, what happens next will shock you! (Or not, considering all roommate fics end up the same anyhow.) thelastpilot

Oh man, all of this writer's stories have this element of almost poetic beauty to them that it's really hard to describe the style. There's never a word or a scene wasted with this writer. It's all about slowly building up that relationship brick by brick, SEEING the characters getting closer and closer with every new meeting and then finishing it off in a MASSIVELY fulfilling way. The humor is top notch too but it seems to take a backseat to the plot and considering how well done the plot typically is I have no problem with that.

word of caution- This writer multi-ships so If you're like me and looking for a specific pairing remember to check the tags! XD 

My personal favorites of this writer include:

Won't Tell a Soul - Nino accidentally runs head long into the biggest most stressful secret he can imagine, but now that he knows the truth about Marinette he is determined to help her in any way he can. (Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng)

& Its sequel: The Weight of Jade - which shockingly (for this list) centers around Nino/Alya. This writer really knows how to get their characters across in all the best ways. This is one of the few times in fanfiction I really found myself really enjoying a side character's story and that's something HUGE.

Rainy Days - A storm rolls through Paris and refuses to let up, so when a water fearing cat is rescued by the kind efforts of his designing classmate he starts to pay a little closer attention to someone he should have always known better.  

Quiet Ice, Silent Nights - Cat Noir is on a late night patrol when he catches sight of an elegant lone figure skater, and is surprised to discover it is his classmate Marinette. 

Okay, this one is simply put, a work of ART. It is beautiful. The way the writer lovingly describes the ice skating and (spoilers: the piano scenes) makes you really FEEL the beauty of the moment. It’s so lovely.~ Seriously, drop what you're doing and read this if you haven't already

Paw Problems - (An alternate version of the Animan Episode) The class has taken a field trip to the zoo, but when Kim starts being a jerk and creates a major situation, are Ladybug and Cat Noir going to be enough to get everyone out on two feet? Or are the classmates going to need to get used to paws, hooves, and talons? Sadly, this one's unfinished. But let me say I LOVED the little snippets of humor in this, especially Chloe's animal form and Nino's reaction to it. XD KryallaOrchid The style KryallaOrchid uses is pretty similar to Quicksilversquared in that the stories all have some degree of playfulness and humor to them ( I love that in fics) but they also aim for something a little deeper too. this writer likes to play on the idea of rightness between the characters and builds off it as they go. (I'm all for the 'soulmate' vibe Adrien and Marinette have going on) 

Some favorites are:

Tendencies - (series) Miraculous have side effects. From pats becoming a necessity to eating flowers, follow Adrien and Marinette as they come to terms with their new tendencies, and each other. Hawk Moth is coming.

This is a LOOOOOONG series and makes for a very entertaining read. 

Sting - When Chat Noir inexplicably disappears, leaving Ladybug bee-hind to face Papillon on her own, a new wielder is chosen to keep the akuma from swarming. Ladybug is adamant she doesn’t want another partner buzzing around and why is this new-bee flirting with her? Meanwhile, Adrien just wishes Ladybug would stop bugging out and listen to him because his bee puns are fuzz-tastic.

I seriously went into this one thinking I wasn't going to like it and I ended up falling head over heels for it. Sting is SO worth the read. Watching poor Ladybug freak out over her missing partner (sending him voicemails wondering where he is and trying to reassure him she's not 'replacing' him with this new bee hero and that she's going to get him back ) Is so SO SOO heart wrenching and sweet. 

(and thankfully Adrien DOES manage to get through to her that  Chat IS 'Bumblebee’ fairly early on so we aren't left stewing in angst FOREVER) 

Reflections - The mirror shows you how you truly are, but for a Miraculous holder, it shows what was. All Marinette can see is ghosts and she doesn’t want to become one. (A heart-wrencher for SURE but the ending was SO worth it.) ---

#Miraculous Ladybug Fic rec list #fic rec list #Ladynoir #Marichat #Adrienette #Ladrein #Favorite fic writers

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts starters. ❜

‘  plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over  ’ ‘  you would not believe bill nye... if ten million Science Guys  ’ ‘  the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting  ’ ‘  why was shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful rufus wainwright ballad followed by a smash mouth/eddie murphy cover of i’m a believer and how can i thank them  ’ ‘  i justify my impulses by the fact i’m going to be dead one day and none of it truly matters in the grant scheme of things it’s that “treat yo self” nihilism  ’ ‘  all i do is listen to music really loudly while i walk in circles and daydream :/  ’ ‘  but you are an entire universe and i am a bigger cooler universe where everyone skateboards  ’ ‘  my insecurities have destroyed so many opportunities   ’ ‘  maybe you and i exist together on a different wavelength than the rest of the world. perhaps, we are on a separate frequency.  ’ ‘  will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking  ’ ‘  ʸᵉᵃʰᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵘʰʰʰʰʰʰ some fuckin physical affection  ’ ‘  stop thinking about everything so much, you’re breaking your own heart.  ’ ‘  concept: me traveling the world alone, figuring myself out, taking tons of cute aesthetic pictures, befriending kind strangers, drinking a cup of tea on a cute cafeteria, and trying out things for the first time.  ’ ‘  holy shit thank god vine is gone like can you imagine all the vines about fidget spinners  ’ ‘  me: reads the bad reviews of a book i didn’t like to seek validation  ’ ‘  if you think you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket and they classed it an “uncharacteristic purchase”  ’ ‘  i’m a dumbass and that’s just how it is  ’ ‘  y'all actually seek validation from people that don’t give a fuck about ur feelings??? LMAO bitch me too why are we like this  ’ ‘  special thanks to all the 10 year olds out there for making all those music lyric videos on youtube  ’ ‘  i am so gentle and kind hearted... and stupid  ’ ‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she i mean me  ’ ‘  just letting everyone who’s ever told me a secret know that its safe with me (and my mom)  ’ ‘  me n my eyebrows…………we been thru a lot  ’ ‘  i wanna jump off a building and not die just relieve stress by slamming onto the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something  ’ ‘  all I want is vintage lingerie and good skin  ’ ‘  nsfw: nobody’s safe from wonderwall  ’ ‘  do you ever wish you could unmeet someone…. like,, we had fun times,, but it’s time for me to wipe my memory Sorry Bud  ’ ‘  date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve  ’ ‘  if you knew me in 7th grade i’m sorry  ’ ‘  *cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*  ’ ‘  anyone else feel like they’re inherently worth less than everyone else  ’ ‘  be open with your love and loud with your laughter. life is so much brighter when lived genuinely.  ’ ‘  i really wish i could get a refund for all the love i’ve wasted on people like! repay my emotional labour your bill is in the mail  ’ ‘  i’m such a tease. i’ll tell you how bad I want to fuck you and then probably fall asleep.  ’ ‘  i’m crying my best  ’ ‘  i want to be known as someone who’s full of love and radiates light  ’ ‘  i’m in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”  ’ ‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’ ‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’ ‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’ ‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite, burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney or lucky by britney spears  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’ ‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death.  ’ ‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’ ‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’ ‘  mATH, deATH -- wake up america  ’ ‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’ ‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’ ‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’ ‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’ ‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm? that’s how I want to feel always  ’ ‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’ ‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’ ‘  can someone please be proud of me like fuck i’m trying  ’ ‘  concept: a really nice Italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’ ‘  just found out neanderthal passed on the dna for depression and now we know why they stayed in caves and painted horses all fuckin day   ’ ‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’ ‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’ ‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’ ‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’ ‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep  ’ ‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’ ‘  not to vent but: fuck  ’ ‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot  ’ ‘  can’t wait to be balls deep in love  ’ ‘  why are there so many days?? i feel like we just had a whole day yesterday… they don’t stop  ’ ‘  i walked in on my 4 year old nephew sitting alone on his bed eating grapes in the dark and i didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he said “i don’t have answers”  ’ ‘  *adjusts my tinfoil hat* y’all are crazy  ’ ‘  do raccoons have people hands or do we have raccoon hands?  ’ ‘  mark your territory by crying on things  ’ ‘  any size titty is lit  ’ ‘  love lemon trees! i too am bitter but growing  ’ ‘  my only constant is the black hair tie around my wrist. no mans gonna be there for me like this hair tie has. no ones presence is gonna be as reassuring  ’ ‘  me???? tired???? sleepy??? yes constantly  ’ ‘  the box says “four servings” but my heart says one  ’ ‘  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it….astounding  ’ ‘  i hope everybody is doing their best even tho we’re all doomed  ’ ‘  young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care  ’ ‘  I just want to help out all the people with no money but i am people with no money  ’ ‘  bricks are just domesticated rocks  ’ ‘  being nice is so easy just do it  ’ ‘  lets start wearing cloaks and swords again. its time  ’ ‘  classes are like a high level dora the explorer episode. person up front asks a question, stares at you blankly for a few seconds, and then answers their own question.  ’ ‘  the average orgasm is 7 seconds. keeping a feral hog in your basement lasts for 5-16 years depending on your ability to care for it. the decision should be clear  ’ ‘  will i ever have my shit together  ’ ‘  i live in a time where a major selling point for food is that it uses “real” ingredients.  ’ ‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have  ’ ‘  it’s not a real party until you sneak away to the bathroom to question your existence as you stare at yourself in the mirror haha  ’ ‘  every hard day you make it through makes you one day closer to stranger things season 2  ’ ‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student i.d. number  ’ ‘  i feel like each year has progressively gotten worse since the year of luigi ended  ’ ‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’ ‘  i wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.  ’ ‘  i have nothing to say but will i shut up? No  ’ ‘  i cannot believe another week is like beginning we just finished one  ’

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