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#listen i've got real analysis and all that
difeisheng · 5 months
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trying to beat back the part of my brain currently insisting that my place in fandom is earned through creating things, and if i'm not doing that then i'm ""falling behind"" or some bullshit. objectively yes i KNOW it's not true and that's not how this space works. yes i know that fandom isn't a job. and YET here i am anyway stuck with some kind of internal voice that's a cross between imposter syndrome and a shift manager grumbling at me and i'm begging for it to shut up
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James T. Kirk?
My immediate instinct is he would choose the wolves.
So Kirk's main strength is he listens to his advisors. He doesn't leap to conclusions, he asks for analysis first. But if he's in Castle Dracula he hasn't got his advisors - but he still has the sense that bids him heed them. He'll make his observations and keep his logs, and draw conclusions in due course.
I think Kirk would be as good or better at plating Scheherezade as Jonathan is. He knows how to negotiate and he knows how to seduce. He spooks less easily too. I think he and Dracula would be well matched at playing the Game and that might be enough to keep the Game interesting enough for him to survive. Heck, he'd probably challenge him to perpetual chess.
His chief disadvantage is that he's very good at escaping things. I don't think he would succeed at escaping, but I think he would make more and better attempts than Jonathan does, because that's his job that's what he does. Given how poorly Dracula reacts to Jonathan's own attempts, it's possible that being too much better at it would convince Dracula that he is a real threat and make a point of ending him.
If he's allowed to have his own genre conventions, I think there's an outcome where he successfully convinces one of the Girlies to help him. Although I think if she does that attempt ends with her dead (Dracula does not tolerate betrayal) and Kirk still trapped, and punished on top of that. (What Dracula doesn't realize is that taking Kirk's clothes only makes him stronger).
If Dracula doesn't kill him for trying to escape one too many times and if he makes it to June 30th, I am confident in Kirk's ability to make it down the wall, and I think he would probably try to hit him with the shovel too. Well actually he would have improvised a weapon before now. So honestly I do think Kirk has all the skills needed to survive Castle Dracula, and none of the obvious fatal flaws.
But I still do think that if it comes down to a choice between death and vampirism (as on June 29th) he'll choose death. Kirk is very willing to die for his principles, and to defy the expectations of his captors just for the sake of it. And I don't think even he could take on an entire pack of wolves by himself.
So this one for me is a really close call. Like his own genre won't let him die that way so he would be beamed out at the last second. But going by the parameters I've laid out, I think he would almost make it, but ultimately not survive Castle Dracula
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maxphilippa · 28 days
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i'm genuinely just saying that the ii fandom should try to not put their ships on basic dynamics because when you watch the media itself you realize that they're wayyyy more complex than that, and that the content that gets made off it feels one dimensional and like people don't really get why their dynamic/friendship works at all, or simplify their attributes completely disregarding the other relationships the characters in said ship have.
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nickloon works because of suitcase mattering so much to both of them. now this is something that most of the fandom doesn't get because they don't get nickel's character at all and often portray him as an gay asshole, but i've made a lot of analysis on his behaviour, so you can check my posts on him if you're interesed to learn why suitcase is so important to him too. however they're so much more than just "a weird gay thing", they're an story of growth and realizing that you were wrong, how much love they have and how you can learn and change for the better, as someone who went through that same thing and now i have a best friend thanks to that, seeing how people only put them on one dynamic disregarding completely the reason as to WHY they're like that is pretty boring. they work because had so many issues at hand and needed communication in order to work through it. their care towards one person (suitcase) is what made them be so angry at eachother and what ultimately made them become friends as well, but the way they genuinely ended up wanting to be friends and caring so deeply for eachother is what speaks the most. sure, nickel cared about baseball and all, but balloon was ultimately the reason as to why he lets go of the rough attitude, and decides that he does want to fix what he has done, that he wants to become a better person and friend.
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lightbrush works as an POST canon ship, not as one that happens on s2, nor should people ignore the fact that paintbrush was often angered/stressed by lightbulb's behaviour for most of the show. it works because ultimately they're both struggling to come to terms with themselves, and lightbulb gets to finally understand why she was messing up so much and genuinely showed care for paintbrush, who was ultimately struggling with themselves, you know, coming out and all that. what people don't get by making their relationship just an "silly random fella x hot headed person" is that they're both so much more than that. lightbulb has depression and her terrible copying mechanisms are what made her suck so much as a team captain, and paintbrush wanted stability and for someone to actually listen to them for once. lightbulb gets to learn that life is much more complicated and that she has to be there for people if she wants genuine connections with others, and she helped paintbrush on such a complicated moment, showing that they can work on an actual friendship post show, and that they do care about eachotther after all.
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fantube is so much more complicated and emotional from what the fandom usually portrays. downgrading them to just an "girlboss x malewife" feels like they're not getting their characters at all and also like it's missing the point of their arcs being entwined by still making them act like their s2 pre-ep 14 selfs. both fan and test tube had severe issues with social interaction and grasping on what's real and what not, emotional communication often being their biggest struggle, and constantly got on arguments with others thanks to the fact that they couldn't "fit in". test tube shows to generally struggle understanding people and their feelings, meanwhile fan is more so aware of those, he still struggles with understanding that the game is very real and that he can't keep running away from the fact that change IS very real. they both made eachother grow because fan made test tube aware of feelings, and test tube made fan aware of growing and learning. they're both pretty equal on their own terms and they had bad copying mechanisms through s2 as a whole, except for their elimination of course, where they make amends and start over. they trust eachother and are pretty much partners, whether romantic or not, they are a team. a duo. they're just trying their best after all, and still struggle a lot with feelings at times. but that's why they work it through talking: the thing that they couldn't do at all before.
i really like/enjoy these ships on their own and i kinda hope that the fandom starts to actually get the characters and understand them properly, i would've also talked about silvercandle, but that is a whole can of worms and after iii 18, i have an overall more negative/neutral stance on the fandom perception of them.
this is just a recollection of thoughts, too.
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doberbutts · 1 month
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Lord thank you for posting that new Julia Serrano article. Literally immediately after I read that I was browsing tumblr and ran across some headass posting “you can tell so much about someone depending on if they refer you to Julia Serrano or bell hooks” (their blog was full of potshots at trans men). Like 1) are we lumping cis Black women in with trans men not worth listening to now? And 2) have you even read Serrano’s newer work? Venn diagram of racists and people who hate trans men once again works out to be a near-perfect circle.
I won't deny that she has had some... interesting... ideas on what she thinks happens to trans men, but she also herself has admitted that her analysis is incomplete because, surprise, she's not a trans man. Which is fair, because any trans woman analysis I have is also incomplete due to me also, you know, not being a trans woman. Like. Lack of lived experiences is what makes it so important to listen to each other rather than just deciding for someone else what they do or don't experience. That's always been my point.
Anyway I keep saying that the theory I keep quoting is stuff that has been taught to me by A: black activists and B: trans women directly in person so like. This is shit I've been saying in no small part *because* a trans woman who I highly respect taught it to me, so it's incredibly annoying to get accusations that I'm not listening to trans women when I GOT THIS THEORY FROM TRANS WOMEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As for the bell hooks thing honestly? It all comes back to what I keep saying that tumblr activists say they love and respect black theory but the second that black theory says something they don't feel like listening to, it's suddenly the most cringe and toxic and privileged thing they've ever heard. Just like how a bunch of white people said black lives matter while it was trending but treated the actual black people in their lives and social spheres like garbage, because it was all a matter of lip service and no real call for change.
People don't want to learn theory and use what they've learned to make any real actionable change. All they want to do is use the theory they've learned to say the right buzzwords while doing jack shit to fix their own internal biases or build community within their lives. People want an acceptable punching bag, not change. So they say all the right words until someone says "hey, this applies to you too" and then it's either excuses or hostility.
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Hello hello, it's anon from the flight! And how lovely it's this fandom that I got a moniker from an anon confession? I've read the messages and checked the reblogs and wow! I seriously didn't expect for my unhinged message to be this welcomed since I'm three years too late to this beautiful show! With this beautiful people and thank you so much to everyone who recommended me to listen to the Simon-not-actually-made-by-AI actor. AND SINGER! BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED. I'm still in disbelief he's real, like Omar Rudberg is so pretty AND has such a nice voice??? AND HE'S GORGEOUS and he's a great actor and UGH THE CHEMISTRY. With who I now know iis called Edvin and now I feel the need to see them acting next to eachother forever and ever, so much chemistry can't be wasted!! (looking at Netflix. I'm still so crossed I missed out of this beauty for three years wtf Netflix)
SO I binge watched the second season, patience isn't my name, and WHAT THE FUCK. Was not prepared for that rollercoaster. I gotta be honest, I almost stopped watching and went to sleep halfway through the season like ugh I fucking hate that Marcus dude, sure in the end I understand why he was a necessary evil for the plot but I fucking hate love triangles. I was a teenage girl during the height of love triangles in tv shows, I hate them. But I hate August the most. I think of his face and feel enraged.
BUUUUUUUUUUT UGHHHH. THE LOVE BETWEEN SIMON AND WILLE. That overpowered everything. Seriously, how am I supposed to be functional after being a witness to their valentine's ball kiss? And Simon's song? (Which I have been obbsessively listening on repeat WTF I understand nothing but I can feel FEEL the meaning on my bones. This beautiful dude's voice wtf. I can understand Wille's obsession, I'm practically obsessed too now wtf)
AND THE END OHMYGOD. A BALM FOR MY SOUL. I was kind of hoping to get heartbroken AGAin for shit and giggles but noooo, I got the best ending and I'm trying to not be too spoiler-ey since I'm sure I'm not the only human being living in this planet called Earth who's unaware the most perfect TV show exists and it's called Young Royals and beautiful people are in it to everyone taste no matter your sexual orientation (like hello Felice too!)(still shocked Omar Rudberg is a real person and not generated by artificial intelligence, maybe I'll be convinced after some proper sleep time, but for now he's too beautiful to be real. Not even exaggerating and I'm really good at that okay!)
I'm still processing the second season, I took a nap after I finished but I'm still tired since I cried and laughed and was left with the biggest smile in my face (and I also was in an 8 hour flight!) and then went to youtube and saw a clip from season 3 AND OMFG THESE TWO DUDES ARE TOO PRETTY FOR WORDS. Happiness and love look wonderful in Wille, like the literal heart eyes he's delivering there? That's how I feel when I see Simon too. Relatable character is relatable. What can I say about Simon without sounding crazy except I need to protect him at all costs??
I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU for reading me and thank you to everyone who has been nice to me in the comments even when I'm still anon, it means the world to me. I hope I'll be more coherent after eight hours of sleep and I won't be too embarrassed reading my own message tomorrow lmao and I don't know how I'm going to survive until 2024 for season 3, I'm sitting here taking notes for that too! I already know the answer it's fanfics so I'll be checking AO3 but also analysis? Meta? how are you guys for real? I was expecting a teenage fandom with just vibes but I guess I was wrong. And I love it. As much as I love the show and Simon and Wille's relationship and I gotta be honest, Omar Rudberg's face and voice. UGH.
Thank you so much for reading me again and for everyone who has left messages for me, I'll freak out more once I get some proper sleep!
Thank you and I'm sorry again XOXO
YAY thanks for coming back!! 💜💜💜
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lifmera · 28 days
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OH MY GOD I TYPED UP A WHOLE THING AND ACCIDENTALLY LOST IT OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD I HATE IT HERE- anyways *ahem* attempt no. 2 of me asking you for a Hazbin Hotel match because I have never done this kinda thing before and I'm curious :)
GENDER AND SEXUALITY: I'm non-binary, they/he/she pronouns. I generally don't have a preference between the three tbh but I do appreciate ppl mixing it up! I'm sex-repulsed asexual and gray-biromantic. Again no real preference lmfao
APPEARANCE: White, dark blonde hair, green eyes, just below 5'3, pretty basic looking all things considered. I've got a pretty angular face I think. I'm afab and don't shave cuz it's too much work. I wear pretty much exclusively graphic tees(band shirts, dumb jokes, fandom stuff... that kinda thing) or button ups with funky patterns paired w/ the comfiest pants I can find, but occasionally I'll pull myself together enough to make a dencent(?) outfit, typically reminiscent of shit scene kids in the early 2000s would wear. I also like dying my hair but usually don't bcuz I procrastinate on it for too long.
PERSONALITY: If I had to describe it in one word? Unhinged. I am unhinged. 7/10 people will agree I am a very frightening person to be around. I say out of pocket shit(ranging from vile sex jokes to just straight up threats of violence) pretty regularly. I also like to sneak up on ppl and make very loud noises just to see their reactions... *ahem* anyways, despite all that, most of my friends would also describe me as caring and loyal! I have low empathy, so the only way I ever understand any of my friends emotions is by using my own experiences to compare and contrast until I have a decent idea of what's going on in their head, but I AM very good at psychoanalyzing people and providing objective, unbiased thoughts & advice on their situations. I would also literally go to war for my friends. Like, if you hurt one of them say your goddamn PRAYERS because I am coming to your location with a knife and murderous intent. I'm kinda awkward & shy at first, but at my core I AM an extrovert. I just don't know how to talk to ppl bcuz I am ✨neurodivergent✨(autism & ADHD) and have a hard time approaching ppl bcuz I don't know if they'll like me or not. Typically I make friends by making very loud jokes and waiting for somebody to approach me because they like my sense of humor. Which speaking of, I am very funny! Most people I interact with regularly would agree I am a very funny person!!! I'm also really good at media analysis and making arguments. I don't do well in debates because I choke under the pressure(gotta work on that tbh), but I'm good at writing argumentative essays. Plus, I'm pretty good at just bold face lying to people so overall I can be pretty damn convincing. I like adrenaline rushes and try to actively seek out new experiences as long as I'm confident they won't cause me any significant damage(socially or physically) in the long run. Which is unfortunately not many because I am INCREDIBLY paranoid. Like to the point of accidentally staying up til 3am cuz I'm convinced someone's gonna break into my house and kill me... I also have depression, severe dissociation issues, and existential dread which is. Fun. That's fun. I also have a tendancy to go down random rabbit holes and obsess over inconsequential details in shows I like to the point of making whole ass conspiracy theories :)
LIKES: Cartoons, drawing, writing, acting, singing, reading fanfic, watching YouTube, long drives, listening to music, jumpscaring ppl, being funny, ziplining, problem solving, video essays, ghost hunting shows, supernatural stuff in general, psychology, media analysis, frogs, sharks, ferrets, cats, violence, chocolate, Drawfee(YT channel), glitter, and just. So many fandoms. Just so many.
DISLIKES: Slimey shit, being touched(most of the time, there are occasional exceptions), being touch starved DESPITE not liking being touched, ppl insulting my interests(only I get to do that), media illiteracy, projects I'm not invested in, ppl putting preasure on me, mosquitoes, existential dread, dissociating, being tired all the time, being wrong, taking risks, feeling vulnerable, and stories with a lot of potential that just. Don't do anything with said potential.
PREFERENCES?: Uh. Someone significantly taller than me(shouldn't be hard Hazbin characters are fucking huge) that'll listen to my insane rants and is able to match my energy.
Akdncksmfnsmdsn I rlly hope I did this right again it's my first time doing anything like this-
HEYYYYYY!!! FINALLY GOT TO YOU 😜
Honestly I was debating on like a few different characters BUT!
I’ve decided to pair you with… LUTE!
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Honestly I think she’d also be sex repulsed. She’s definitely more of a romantic lover! Though she doesn’t show it.
I think she talked to you at first because your style choices reminded her of Adam- and obviously, she misses him like crazy
If you did dye your hair often with her, she’d probably want to help you! I think she’d apply the color so it doesn’t get messy :)
She LOVES your personality. She thinks you are similar to her in many ways!
She also would need to experience it herself. She’s pretty stoic and doesn’t show her emotions. She’d probably think it’d make herself look weak.
I think you both would definitely fight back to back 24/7! You both would fight to the DEATH for each other.
She loves how caring you are for other people- it gives her a different sense of pace. Someone new!
I think Lute would see a TINY BIT through your lies. Lute is very observant with EVERYTHING.
She’d love if you made jokes. She need’s something less boring in her life than just standing there.
Adrenaline rushes? Totally join the exorcists- and you can be her right hand!!
She’d try to help you through paranoia, but you shouldnt worry much. She’s STRONG asf!
She’d LOVE TO HEAR CONSPIRACIES!! she would think they are SO COOL.
Although she isn’t much taller- I think she’d around 5’8 personally. She just looks small bc shes always next to Adam who’s HUGE!
She may not be able to match your energy, only because she’ll need to come out of her shell more- she’s always listening. She has ears EVERYWHERE.
~~~~
HOPE THIS WAS OKAY ❣️
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emilover-1 · 1 month
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Why Mori indirectly killed Oda + Why he led Dazai out of the pm
A very short analysis
Killing Oda was the most logical solution, it was; to kill a lower member or to kill more pm members that possibly were higher rank, it didn’t make sense, and even Dazai in the light novel dark era recognized it:
Dazai glances at the at the muzzle still pointed at his face, following which, he turns back towards the center of the room, standing right in front of Ougai, quietly speaking. “I’ve been thinking. Between the mafia, Mimic, and the Black Special Ops Forces, who is the one manipulating these three organizations? When I realized Ango was a member of the Special Ability Department, I reached a conclusion. That conclusion was that this is the Special Ability Department’s plan. Their motive was to let the mafia and Mimic, two illegal organizations causing the government a headache, to kill each other off. If they were lucky, they would both perish together – I thought this was a playbook written by the Special Ability Department, that this was the real reason behind this war. But I was wrong.” Dazai pauses after these words, looking at Ougai. Ougai smiles, shrugging his shoulders, “I’m listening.” “The person who painted this picture was you, Boss. Using the illegal organization Mimic as a threat, you pulled the Special Ability Department onto the negotiation table. And the pawn in the center of this plan was Ango.” Dazai speaks with half lidded eyes. “Boss, the reason you sent Ango to infiltrate Mimic’s ranks was not to obtain information on Mimic. Because you knew that Ango was a spy from the Special Ability Department from the very beginning. Am I right?” Ougai does not affirm or refute this, only saying, “Huh.” “If you think about it that way, the meaning behind several truths will change accordingly. At the same time Ango passed us insider information on Mimic, he had to pass that information on to the Special Ability Department as well. They are undead ghosts that will not listen to negotiations or compromises, only seeking a battlefield. Such danger cannot be compared to the mafia. If this went on any further, conflict would break out between them and the government agencies. This is what the Special Ability Department thought. The next thing they thought of was to fan the flames of war between Mimic and the Port Mafia, manipulating matters by leaking information to Mimic through Ango. As long as Mimic bites the hook, the mafia has no reason not to fight back. Based on this line of thinking, they instructed Ango to engage in combat – all according to your plan.” “You’re overestimating me, but it’ll still be troublesome for me.” Ougai smiles. “To the mafia, the government agencies are also a demon-like existence, an opponent that cannot be manipulated easily.” “That is why you would come up with such a large scale plan – Because the value of that envelope is worth all that effort.” Dazai points to the black premium envelope beside Mori’s hand.
pages 125 and 126 of the light novel
By what they talk about, its pretty obvious that Dazai recognized it was a logical solution, yet he had got very attached, Dazai has little to no problems in using people, but the problem was that Dazai had got too attached with Oda. Not to mention that getting the envelope was beneficial to the port mafia, it was like getting rid of two birds with a stone or however it is said, and as I've said a lot of times, Mori goes to the option that benefits everyone in Yokohama or at least to the pm.
He is called "The one who fell to the optimal solution" isn't he?
next topic:
Why Mori led Dazai out of the pm
This is more of what I believe but I still wanted to include it
Mori led Dazai out of the pm because of two reasons:
He was afraid Dazai would aspire to take his position as a boss
He wanted Dazai to learn a lesson
It's mentioned that he is afraid of Dazai so we aren't going to talk about this topic right now, but about the lesson topic; Mori wanted Dazai to become more like him in case Dazai were to take the boss position, but Mori didn't thought that Dazai had grown that attached to Oda, and while Dazai did recognize that killing Oda was the most logical solution, he didn't like it, he would have preferred that more members had lost their lives than Oda losing his, and therefore to Mori; Dazai didn't want to learn the lesson.
Thank you for reading
I got the quotes (if it can be considered that) from this pdf, i hope you enjoyed my analysis! its very short but what can we do
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Hiii, miss me?
Now you want to kiss me (or have to? Wasn't there a song like that?)
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This month my blog turned two years old. I got the notification in my email. Last year I made an entire celebration post by publishing the funniest/ridiculous asks I got. There were good times back then. Still. Not so much afterwards.
I wasn't the nicest presence in the last few months leading to me abandoning the blog. And I wasn't too discreet about it. Although there was more to it, a lot more. But I'll get there.
First things first. Why am I here when on the 24th of March I dramatically declared that I'm leaving forever? Well, that was a very emotionally-charged post and the result of a few factors. I'm not entirely proud of how I made my exit, but it's also a true reflection of my personality so there's no point in making excuses. Nevertheless, I will explain as much as I can (I still care about privacy, just like before).
On that Friday, I woke up excited. I took a day off from work (yes...I know), I listened to Face, watched the music video. All good. But I was also dreading a bit having to come here because I knew there was this expectation of me to come up with some thought-provoking analysis, say something smart and all that. I was exhausted on all levels, emotionally and intellectually. I had also promised to leave after the promotions were over, somewhere in the middle of April (who would have thought it would last 9 days? Not me), but the plans changed. Not to drag it too much, but on that day I also officially announced to some concerned parties that I'm changing career paths. You know, just something I thought I'd be doing until the day I die and I've been working towards for at least 10 years. No big deal. I was planning on doing it anyway, but actually saying the words and make it real is a different story. I felt extatic, full of adrenaline, so happy with my decision and at that moment, it felt the right time to close BMT. It was somehow directly connected. I made the blog as an escape and now I got the opportunity to turn the page over. It was perfect. Best day ever. I clicked post, I logged out, and then I sat. And after a while, the reality of my decisions hit me in the face. And I felt sad and empty because what the hell am I doing now and what is my identity? I closed my blog too which was my main hobby. And so followed some difficult days. And then it got better. And then bad again. And so on, because it's a roller coaster.
The thing is, I can change my interests, but I can't stop myself from being opinionated. And getting excited. And wanting to talk about it. And share all that on a public platform with some strangers that are interested in what I have to say. Or they used to. It's who I am.
This blog won't remain Bangtan Media Thoughts because I want more than that. I will rebrand this page. I could start fresh with a new blog, but this is still my space and I know some people were interested in reading about other things as well from me, not just BTS. I hope I can built something from that.
The blog won't reflect only a specific niche of interests, but everything that I like in terms of pop culture. From movies, music, fashion, gossip, you name it. Including Kpop. And if I feel the need to rant about Hybe after talking about Ryan Gosling's Ken, I will. Same about JM, JK or whoever I feel like it. If there is a good advice that I got in the last few months, is to adapt and not force myself to abandon something completely. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. And to be honest, it was easier to give up smoking than completely lose interest in kpop. It's a habit. Perhaps this new blog will reflect the way I try to deal with that. A bit more honestly, a little less discourse, certainly less essays because I don't have them in me at the moment. But never say never. This blog will be all me, not just BMT.
I will change the name and url 24h after I post this. This will be an opportunity for all my followers to decide if they want to stay or they are not interested in the new direction. Feel free to do as you please. I welcome new people and greet the old ones who didn't hit unfollow for some reason.
It will go like this:
Bangtan Media Thoughts > Reflections in a Critical Eye
New theme, new profile photo, new beginnings.
All the old posts will still be here. I don't plan on deleting anything. They are all a product of me and my brain and they have their place. I'll probably pin some new posts these days that have to do with the rebranding. It will be like a construction site, but it will be worth it.
One last thing though. After I abruptly left, I received some DMs. I saw them back then. I do feel sorry about those who wanted to check in with me or with whom I used to talk regularly. But I do hope that some of the things I said today will explain my behavior. I also won't start communicating again like that, at least for now. I always felt a bit pressured and I'm not the best at maintaining conversations in private. If that changes, I'll make that clear.
That's it for now. I'm excited. I feel like writing again so here's to another chapter.
My inbox is open and will be, just as usual. No more messages to BMT, but you can call me M. Like in the Bond movies 😉
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megumi-fm · 1 month
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this week fortnight on megumi.fm ▸ the last leg
is that a pun referring to my aching ankle? yes. is resting at home for another week gonna ruin my mental health? yes. but am I exaggerating and throwing a tantrum for something that's probably not a big deal? also yes.
📋 Tasks
💻 Internship // progress tracker ↳ biopython model replication ✅ ↳ code for obtaining single fasta from overlapping sequences ✅ ↳ running HMMer and superfamily script✅ ↳ output analysis 🔁 ↳ literature review on transport proteins 🔁 ↳ transport protein family analysis 🔁 🎓 Uni ↳ our paper is finally out! there's a doi and everything now <3 it's not open access though :/// I might do some totally legal things to ensure more people can read it ↳ collected the hardcopy of my LOR ↳ collected my gradecard ↳ visited my advisor and updated her on stuff 🩺Radiomics Project ↳ radiomic features finalized✅ ↳ data cleanup 🔁
📅 Daily-s
🛌 consistent sleep [14/14] 💧 good water intake [14/14] 👟 exercise [/14] just basic stuff to maintain ankle mobility
Fun Stuff this week
💗i went to uni to watch one of my friends present something to the juniors! then I spent the afternoon chatting with my guide and later on went window shopping with my best friends (in retrospect i should not have done this because my ankle got infinitely worse the next day and now I'm stuck resting at home for an additional two weeks) 🎮playing undertale with @muakrrr 📺 ongoing: Marry my Husband, Cherry Magic Th, Perfect Propose, Doctor Slump, Flex X Cop 📺 binged: Blueming, Roommates of Poongduck 304 📹 Started watching Going Seventeen // so I've been listening to SVT for a while now and I did watch their Don't Lie II eps like two years ago but I never really checked anything else... however, considering that I'm stuck at home and that @zzzzzestforlife (who has impeccable taste) has mentioned it often on their posts, I decided to check out GoSe properly and. wow. I started with their mystery episodes [fav scenes under cut] and now I'm watching GoSe2020 in chronological order and !!!!!! The concepts, the storylines, the acting, the humour, the editing, even the subtitles are all so so good. I've been watching this show for two weeks now and I am now officially a cubic <3
📻 This week's soundtrack
Wk1: The Best of ATEEZ // I've been real obsessed since their 2024 world tour clips started showing up on social media; I was a casual enjoyer up to this point and then I went and checked them out and it's all so dystopian and immersive. My favourites would be Intro: Long Journey (which makes me feel like I'm in Pirates of the Caribbean), the Symphony version of Wonderland (for its musicality and Jungho hitting those notes), MATZ (that is insane in it's the visual storytelling in the MV) and Wake Up (whose performance choreo ended me) Wk2: The Best of BTS // in an attempt to revive a project I abandoned a year ago, I spent wayy too much time curating this playlist to get the most satisfying BTS transitions ever and I can confidently say that I'm nowhere close to my goal T-T but I kind of like the way it is now so I am simply going to give up
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[Feb 12 to Feb 25 ; week 7+8/52 || this was not supposed to be one post but then... idk what happened... I feel very dull lately because of my ankle and just when I thought it was getting better it's become painful again... my friends and parents keep chastising me (and fairly so) for trying to move around even before I fully heal but patience has never been my strong suit. sitting still is really the biggest punishment for a hyperactive ADHD kid like me... i'm sure plenty others have it worse but... yeah... GoSe really carrying my mental health right now ]
my fav GoSe scenes
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stuffedsand · 5 months
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T3 cover thoughts,,, and psuedo guesses
Haruka : considering both of his songs were from the android girl album I feel like he's gonna get a third. Of which the only other song I know the lyrics to is relationship scramble.
I think it could work ("right now I want instant love", could be the whole any attention is good, negative inclusive, so long as it's attention) (bro idk)
Yuno : honestly not a clue haha, tho I think Rabbit Hole would work (+it's a popular prediction for her, I haven't listened to it but it could be a good choice?)
Fuuta : .....he got Salamander this trial I don't know what they're gonna give him anymore....I don't even know what the deal is with mosaik role,,,,,
Maybe Chimera? I've only listened to it once but it has the Vibes tm. I think it fits? I'm not very good at lyrical analysis but it'd be fun idk
(or volt tackle haha)
Muu : Theory of Negativity because idk it vibes. Similar to otome dissection kinda idk
Alternatively, Cinderella just cuz it....vibes like her I don't have a better explanation sorry
Shidou : I reeeally want to say cosmic rendezvous,,,, but it doesnt fit with his other covers. I hope dearly for cosmic rendezvous but let be realistic haha
My prediction. Ghost Rule or 118. Ghost Rule would be fun !!!! 118 would be, to me, if someone died in t3, cuz the lyrics can be twisted abit. It'd be so fun. Also "no law to pardon my crime" and "ethics are a delusion, but I'm still guilty when the morning comes" vibe the same. Also his va can do it I believe in him
The cover would also SLAP cuz from what I can tell shidous covers have a more...frantic? Energy to them and that works for a lot of the GHOST album songs. Anyways Ghost Rule milgram cover?? Please??
Mahiru : I had more but I forgot so here's the ones I remembered
U (unlikely, it's a English song... But hey it'd be fun) / Poison Apple (I'd say poison apple works for kazui but... There are funnier picks for him so)
I think her voice fits for these songs idk they just...vibe. really well. I believe in her va
Most fitting from what Ive seen is Zombies or Psuedo-Hope Syndrome which would work vocally and thematically I think! Idk tho haha mahirus is really vibe based
Kazui : ok wishful thinking : Ghost Rule. Fits with the liar theme. But I already gave it to shidou and it doesn't fit his other two covers (sad melancholy) so he gets the song I initially chose for shidou! Cosmic Rendezvous. A win for old man yaoi truthers (JOKE)
No seriously. The lyrics could be read as non romantic, and it continues his cover theme of Regret. It'd be fun, thematically relevant, fir the other covers, AND it'd hurt me. Perfect. If he does get cosmic rendezvous I will cry
Alternatively; we the hostages (?) Idk this pick was also solely vibes. I really want cosmic rendezvous though but that's cuz I want someone to say fuck
Amane : Angel Hair. I don't have a particular reason? Also this would be more in line with Positive Parade which was the trial one song.... And she got animal which I never would've expected so? Who knows. This is a fun list for vibes. Oh I think then all her songs would be Mannequin songs too
Mikoto : uhhhh (Not) a Devil. Cuz I'm not creative and it'd be funny. Uhh otherwise I'm not too sure.
Honourable mention that I think both Mikoto and Kotoko could get Addiction? By vibes alone lol cuz I can't read the captions...
Kotoko : imma be real I forgot. To kin assign her a song. But after having a short look at Anti - Beat I think she could get Dilemma? I think it works for kotoko. Idk
Tell me what songs you guys predict for any given character next trial I like seeing people's readings on what fits the character or the covers!!! Particularly kotoko, yuno and mikoto as much as I like their characters I don't have much of a read on them...
Also tell me what your favourite covers are!!!! I personally like both of shidous, kazui's, mahirus and fuuta's, and I really liked the monopoisoner one! (Haven't listened to reversible campaign enough to form opinion), as well as Harukas two breaths walking cover (haven't listened enough to the android girl one whoops)
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riacte · 3 months
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i never really paid attention to it but wow false and ren. they really do hover around each other huh. they r like bugs
Hiii anon thanks for the ask <3 I'll use this to talk about them and them in fanon because I have thoughts woooo (and I'm vibrating with excitement because I'm listening to the HC Grand Prix at the same time)
You said it exactly— like we all know they're buddies and stick together, but most of the times, we don't really notice it because it's just natural. Nondescript even. Like of course their pixels are next to each other in the background. Of course they're hanging out. It's not flashy or anything, they're just there.
[long and winding analysis that goes off in a Direction, will definitely not be maintagged, mentions of shipping and the fandom's worst enemy (comphet / heteronormativity)]
Pairing up
They're like those anime characters who are fully fleshed out individually, but for some reason, their screentime is tied together and they're always shown next to each other. That was actually my first impression of them back when I only watched Grian in HC6 lmao, every time Grian flew over the fantasy district he would casually go "that's False and Ren's bases" and my brain was like "hmm new names :) idk who they are but they stick together :)". Like you know when you're new to an unknown cast of people so you try to comprehend and memorise them as efficiently as possible? And so you start sorting the cast into duos / groups so it's easier to remember them? That was me trying to compartmentalize the hermits in HC6. Grian + Mumbo. Iskall + Stress. Scar + Cub. Joe + Cleo. ZIT. False + Ren.
It did not help that from Grian's POV, there was a part in the civil war arc when he collabed with False to prank Ren because they thought he'd pranked her and so my brain was like "weeewoooo I still don't know who False and Ren are but they continue stick together, and that's convenient for my internal sorting :)))". And that mutual association genuinely never stopped lmao (it only got worse).
Shared audiences?
I've talked about this on privtwt: False+Ren as a fanon duo (like duo Duo as in desert duo) is strangely niche even though they do stuff together all the time and they're both fairly popular on their own. And there is so much intermingling between their audiences— I know this is the case for all hermits' audiences, but it seems especially obvious between their audiences. I know in a stream Ren said he met up with False and they had a discussion like years ago about the two of them hosting a meet and greet with fans in a restaurant (that didn't happen) and internally I was like "yeah, that'll only work if they have a solidly integrated fanbase so no one feels left out in the restaurant WAIT. That's literally what's going on here".
Funny how when I was writing this, an anon sent an ask about Ren's chat basically being full of False emotes LOL. Integrated audience kinda real <3 like, even if you only watch one of them and don't actively watch the other, you still know and think of the other fondly.
Different styles? And sticking together
Actually outside of yayyy fun minigames, to me at least they have quite different styles + ways of presentation? Which feels slightly different from the above duos I mentioned? So I totally understand why people only main one of them and don’t watch the other (but still aware of the other obviously). In terms of taste and personal preference, I’ve been here long enough to know what loyal False mains generally like and what loyal Ren mains generally like. (Like, very verrrry generally.) Ren’s the dramatic roleplay storyteller and False is like, sneaky and shifty and has a wry sense of humour. They’re both funny and charming in different ways. I would say Iskall and Stress have similar presentations (“aha? AHA?”) even though they excel at different things. Cub and False are also similar to me— competent and cool people who are nonchalantly chaotic. And we all know Ren and Martyn’s instant chemistry and their similarities. It’s why a lot of Ren fans gravitated to Renchanting and Rendoc for their dramatics and flirting in the way some False fans gravitate to Fress and Falseren for the fun/mildly hysterical/teasing/sweet/pranking moments.
BUT
False and Ren bounce off each other well— it’s the playful tension and the sudden mutual whiny energy like “noooo don’t leave me🥺” but they start hitting each other 0.5 seconds later. And of course the mutual clinginess. I know people have made jokes about how they’re both smart and competent people individually but when they get together they suddenly become the silliest sillies and share one braincell <3 and I know people (read: mutuals in my DMs) have joked about Ren’s currently extremely obvious bias for her (it's as big as the BRR sign I swear 😭) and the usual “orbiting around each other group recordings”. Compared to other duos, they don’t get paired together bc of similar presentations / style. They get paired together because of the chemistry and they share so many moments lol.
Tldr: they make for entertaining on-screen interactions. It’s fun watching them rotate around each other and punch each other off things. And they do this so much that 1) everyone’s aware of it 2) everyone’s used to it.
Branding? (Or the lack of it)
Last I checked, their tag has 46 fics on Ao3 and 16 of those fics are from me (I love being spiders georg). As with every pair that's not the juggernaut pair, realistically the actual number of fics that actually focus on them is less than what we see. And you know how sometimes for the "niche" pairs, there's more ship fic than platonic fic? (Actually I think for most pairs, there's more ship fic than platonic fic.) That's also not it, they don't even have 20 ship fics. Like clearly, the current fanon interest in them is not ship motivated versus *gestures to whatever is happening in the general shipping chaos post 2021*.
What I concluded is that they lack the kind of branding that for example Convex possesses. I think it's kind of because... they're an ubiquitous constant throughout the years. They don't need a storyline or a named group to tie themselves together. No matter what they're doing, no matter what characters they're playing, no matter which servers they're on— they just kind of stay in each other's orbits. But they don't play it up or anything like hashtag SHIPrendoc or Renskall or whatever. They don't even have a proper fanon name ffs (outside of fairy pirate grotto or whatever in HC6).
(Although imo this is likely to avoid comphet irl shipping because God forbid a man and a woman are friends :))))) heteronormative irl shipping / truthing was an annoyance for years (pre the HC6 boom). But strangely enough, modern anti hermitshippers on Twitter rarely bring up the real problem of truthing in public comments and instead target people making Scarian fanart in a small corner or whatever. When many cases of Compulsory Heterosexuality literally exist in YouTube comments. But I digress.)
Ren and False are just there, pranking each other and basing together and playing five million minigames and being casually supportive of each other. Like, their biggest shared "storyline" that left a strong impression on fans / converted fans was probably MCC9. We all still talk about it today the way Ren and Martyn still talk about 3L Renchanting. And MCC9 was in 2020 when they'd already done a lot of stuff together prior to that (eg. literally being neighbours in HC6).
And the thing is, they do collab semi-frequently. In like every Hermitcraft season. In recent memory, we've got the Blue River Raceway of course, but we also get those pranks and minigames and random silly interactions like Ren breaking into False's eagle and False pranking him at her elytra race. It doesn't need to be big and theatrical in classic Ren fashion (I remember the Renbob / Falsewell storyline in HC6; her nonchalance and confusion was so funny in contrast to Renbob's hippie demeanor).
And I kind of like the way they've kind of (?? or not???) escaped from the intense duo-ification from the fandom. Okay, to be fair, I know I am the worst offender of the duo-ification of them (with my desperate do not separate agenda), and maybe I've had a negative effect on the fandom, so feel free to throw me off my soap box. I remember how hermitblr as a collective suddenly lost it when they split in MCC17. We took them for granted, we all got to used to them being together, we got used to seeing them in the background, and then suddenly they’re not??
So we’re all kind of aware of them. But it’s not a terribly big thing…. until it is.
It's the same on the M/CC Reddit. Everyone knows they're iconic. But nobody makes a post about how we need more False and Ren duo interactions because they already interact a lot. It's just a natural constant. They don't really need a spotlight because they're just... here doing funky cute friendship stuff.
But if they ever, for some reason, become a mainstream duo on twt in its mainstream duo way with some [insert random noun] duo name, I will be so 🫠😒🔥💥🔥💥. But I literally cannot see this happening unless they team with Grian / Grian adjacent people in Life series. But even then I think they’re kinda exempt because everyone’s so used to them lol. It’s not like a shiny new uwu duo. It’s like how Stresskall is just Stresskall. Or Jleo.
(Actually, speaking of Stresskall, the entire Stress-Iskall-Ren-False group would make for an interesting fanon discussion bc it’s essentially made out of very solid and fan favourite duos. But not now. Team FRIS my absolute beloved though.)
Also, thinking about the ensemble HC fics I've read and how they're just casually kind of chilling in the background. Ren is usually paired with Doc (both platonic / romantic) but False is usually somehow mentioned in a passing comment. Same with False who's usually with the Hermitgals in ensemble fics, but there's also passing comments about her hanging out with Ren. Again, it's just a natural part of the background. Trivia that's sprinkled in between.
And that's why I think I'm so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 because it doesn't need to be big and grand... it's all the little moments <3 they have such a fun and playful dynamic and all the love for minigames <3
I don’t know if this is comprehensible or I’m just going crazy and overthinking things no one thinks about. But writing this was fun at least <3 If at least one person gets maybe 30% of this post (whatever it is), I'll be happy haha.
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Post sponsored by the three people who liked my tweet from months ago 🥹
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omg since you’re taking off todya from studying can we hear some of your beatle hottakes?
ughhhhhhh sorry, these are so hard to come up with these days
meta take: I sort of wish we could have a genuine conversation about the blurry line between wishful thinking/headcanon and more objective (or, aspiring to be objective) historical analysis – I get the headcanons, I really do! but just in the past year, there's been several instances of people in good faith asking about sources or questioning "fan favourite" anecdotes and being shouted down for "ruining people's fun". If you want to engage with this stuff in a more lighthearted way, that's fine! but accept that that's what you're doing. Being rude to people trying to get to the truth is not a good look. Your imagination can withstand it, I promise.
more people need to jump on the Day Tripper tinhatting train. shit's crazy up here
the more I listen to Double Fantasy the more I'm offended that a certain brand of John fan basically only names songs from 1970/71 as his best. ditto with Walls and Bridges…
Again And Again And Again: best Denny solo-written Wings song ( it's hard to gauge how much is him and how much is Paul for their collabs. Anyways, No Words my beloved)
Sexy Sadie is kind of perfect… The lyrics, the chords, the distorted doo-wop it all embodies that DISAPPOINTMENT so well. The guitar solo is great, the high-pitched oooooooooohs. No notes, underrated song for sure.
the Mind Games album cover is soooooo deranged but so fucking good. That and Ram might be the best post-Beatles album covers.
this isn't exactly a take but the SADDEST part of Hey Jude is when John harmonizes with Paul. I can't not hear all the unspoken pain.
I kind of hope we get versions of Free As A Bird and Real Love with cleaned up John vocals like Now And Then. I don't want to erase those originals because the audio quality tells a story of its own, but Real Love especially suffers so much from it. I listened to it earlier today and nearly got teary. "No need to be alone" kind of gives me goosebumps. There's something so raw and emotional about all three of these songs…
This is almost the opposite of a hottake, but it kind of Doesn't Matter To Me who Now And Then is about. It could be about Paul, it could pretty easily be about Yoko too, and a few people I've seen say they think it's about May, which could be too! It perhaps not being directed at Paul doesn't take away from the song for me, because the song feels bigger than just its direct inspiration.
On that note, I sort of think that sometimes people could stand to.... Die on fewer hills? Like, the notion that Now And Then could be about Yoko doesn't negate John and Paul's relationship or most things people theorize they may have gotten up to. Now And Then Release Week bonus round, cause it's been long enough to talk about it a bit:
Paul (and Ringo and George! they also have a writing credit, guys!) making editorial choices about John's unfinished song with the blessing of his widow is literally fine. "But John might not have approved–" yes, this is how death works. John also might have found the song embarrassing and not wanted it released at all. It wasn't on Double Fantasy after all! Or maybe he would have specifically wanted to remove the same bit! (which I maintain is musically strange and unfitting at worst and at best a still really rough idea that would probably require a lot of work in of itself – echoing the chord progression in the instrumental bit is the best compromise I could imagine)
I actually really get the George girls who were a bit bummed out by the rollout of the song. He DID get the short end in this situation! but… what would have been better? I saw some people say Paul isn't nearly as good a slide guitarist at George. Okay well then… So Paul should've hired a session musician? How does that makes sense? Paul should've asked Dhani to find some random guitar bit George recorded 25 years ago and frankensteined it onto this song? I'm asking this honestly: what should have been done instead? Because… I sort of got the feeling from some of the criticism that the only acceptable solution was to not release this song at all. And TBH I don't think George "getting the short end" is worse than not allowing Paul and Ringo the closure of completing this song. This wasn't perfect but again: yes, this is how death works.
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fumifooms · 2 months
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oh, sorry for so many asks, i also wanted to say too though i really agree so much with your chilchuck thoughts so far, even down to your personal headcanons about how things might go post-series. and you're absolutely right, i'll defend that little guy any day myself. you understand him so well and it's kind of relaxing to have someone else dish out this kind of analysis and already agree with all of it cus it's just so real, so thank you again for the Meal <- perhaps the perfect thing to say about dungeon meshi analysis when i think about it
i know you have playlists and stuff so i wanted to share a song i've been listening to that that reminds me of him: divine loser by clem turner
No worries, they’ve been a lot of fun! I do plan on getting back to each one btw, just gotta get through some other things first hopefully. Aaaah that’s really nice to hear 🥺 I do know the feeling haha, it’s always fun to have posts that Get It that you just nod along with 🤝 I’ve thought sooo much about Chilchuck I rotate him in my brain like rotisserie chicken more often than not, glad it all ended up being productive haha. Y’know recently my friends have been calling me a Chilchuck superfan/scholar jokingly and it actually made me have a realization moment of…
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Bc I’ve always said Laios was my fave and like, he does mean everything to me idk if I’ve ever felt so seen as with Laios, I relate to him sooo much, but then. Okay alright that can be a different thing than a character being your favorite fine FINE I admit it Chilchuck’s my top blorbo. He’s so.🧍‍♂️I can’t even describe. He’s so….. He’s a clown but he’s also perfection in its best imperfect form I will not be taking further questions today. My friend called him my silly rabbit like that one meme and it makes me laugh sm
Thank you for the music rec!! I listened to it and yes agreed, sent straight to my Chil playlist. Songs are my bread and butter when I have character brainrot bc like with web weavings I feel like there are so many emotions and thoughts you can communicate about something so simply through one… (Which for anyone interested here’s my web weaving tag, got 2 about Chil). Gonna link all my dunmeshi playlists while I’m here: Dungeon Meshi, Chilchuck & his wife, marchil, Mithrun.
Ok everyone saw this coming but this ask ran away from me and I ramble about some song lyrics I associate with Chil & different facets of his life below the cut. Some people find my, ehem, heated rambles about Chil entertaining, this is your cue to get out the popcorn.
When thinking about songs for Chil I have 3 angles I take: About Chilchuck, about him and his wife, or about him & Marcille. Marchil is so engraved into me with their arcs together, that they’re like the concept of closure and letting go and letting yourself live again to me, sorry for all the non-enjoyers… I think currently my top song for him is Jackrabbit by San Fermin, because it combines all three it makes me go wild. It’s about trepidation… Throwing yourself into it even despite the fear (working with traps, survival in poverty where you have to rush & hustle), or just staying there paralyzed(not reaching out to his wife). Flight or freeze!! Saying goodbyes and saying hellos!! Not dying alone!! The life cycle of a wild rabbit living and dying, the baton pass race of life from generation to generation!! Chil and his daughters even!!! Going through life at a frenzied pace!! It is so Chilchuck and so marchil, and the music does give that hurried and scared energy to me too, and sigh the Marcille side to it with fear of death too…
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Extra fun context but the other day on the discord server we were talking about what animal each character’s fursona would be as we do and I thought of a rabbit for Chilchuck: Quick footed, ‘cowardly’, small and frail and seen as weak 🙃, athletic and slender, pulls stunts, stressed out, has very fine hearing and has good instincts, etc. And ofc that fits really well with Marcille since she’s kinda associated with dungeon rabbits hehe~ But I think while Marcille’s 100% the cute round rabbit Chil’s more like a brown hare, more wild and like, more like a jackalope if we’re still doing monsters... I do lowkey find it more fun than his associated monster being mimics because he’s crabby, because they’re clever (with where they place themselves) and because of how he has a soft shell but soft insides, lol.
OKAY so that’s my song pick with the main 3 facets sure, now I’ll share some lyrics for each 3 sides separatedly 😈 Kinda summarizing my web weavings for him thus far. If we start with Chilchuck by himself we have… Enter One by Shelby Merry and Drunk by The Living Tombstone
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With his wife, we have the bad end, and the good end for if they get back together with Lost Kitten by Metric and North by Sleeping At Last… Okay okay plus Love Like Ghosts and My Heart is Buried in Venice… Little Soldier by The Crane Wives for them also RUIN me
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And Marchil… Marchil oh my beloved. Another buddy also made a full analysis on discord about Soap by The Oh Hellos for them lol, but these are Not I by I Fight Dragons and My Heart is Buried in Venice again~
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Okay okay two more. Boats & Birds by Gregory and The Hawk, and Tummy by Tamino.
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Finishing it up with quotes from, in order, A Softer World by Joey Comeau, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Acknowledgements by Danez Smith, The Letter by Richard Paul Evans, and last but not least posts from dead tumblr account flintcoded. I keep looking around and finding MORE fitting quotes. Someone stop me- In loving me you hold a knife at my throat, in loving you I tell you exactly where to cut. Forgive me, memory is a rope around my neck. I need you to be happy, I need one of us to be happy.
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Hand in unlovable hand…
In conclusion;
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bookishtheaterlover7 · 4 months
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Not sure how to view Chris anymore and it’s sad. At this point whatever the “truth” is, it doesn’t matter.
I’m just floored at how someone could be so weak to get into this mess and not “be able to get out”and it’s easy to say oh it’s hard for him to get out but he’s at least trying to show this is fake, yet he was bold enough to lie to the world about being married?
Make that make sense?
Like how the fuck do they clean this up at all?
It’s like reality and illusions are morphing together and I honestly don’t know who the fuck this man truly is and maybe that’s the way it should’ve always been.
We get wrapped up in this shit mainly due to the way of the world and due to Hollywood and capitalism, etc, but we have to take accountability by finally choosing to not fall for seeing other mere mortals as anything but human.
If you take any random person off the street, clean them up, give them a great marketing team, BOOM you have a new celebrity. It’s all a big awful joke of illusion.
No more rose colored glasses. It’s to the point fandoms and celebrity today is seeing a blue sky but being duped into believing it’s green.
Unfortunately most will never understand the above and never take those glasses off.
This applies to fans, non fans and just the overall population of the world who are willing and unwilling and unaware at how impacted we all are by celebrity culture. A headline makes waves or something goes viral and we ALL stop our lives to read or listen about it and many hop online to discuss and argue with others over various things, not once seeing the reality……you’re taking time out of YOUR life to focus on someone who doesn’t even know you exist, wasting YOUR time discussing crap about someone else who is living their life and getting rich off of you and someone who uses media to stay relevant through…..Y-O-U!
*breaks rose colored glasses* for good.
💔👓
#EnoughIsEnough
Same, An🫶n. Honestly before I was sucked in here, Chris was the ideal guy for me... Ofcourse, Papa was right. He told me once that "I shouldn't place anyone on a pedestal, because anything placed that high, is meant to break."
I've got nothing but love for Chris and his work. But the way this is all spun, real or not, I'm not sure if I can keep adoring him as a person.
Like I've said before, we can't exactly blame Chris, alone for getting into this mess in the first place. But if those breadcrumbing and hinting on his end isn't true (the hope and rumor that he's telling us that anything about the wedding is fake, etc.), An🫶n is right.
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He's not a saint, but he's not a demon either. But the thing is, he isn't going to be just Chris Evans, the actor we all love and adore. The actor we'll be happy for when he gets his small victories. Whose dog is one of the best things on the internet during this whole mess right now.
He's also going to be Chris Evans, the guy who "married" a racist, who's friends have baited the entire Fandom. The guy who couldn't save his fans from tearing at each other. The guy who let this get so out of hand, that the one place that should've been safe for us to escape to, and enjoy everything, disappeared in mere months.
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I'm planning to stick around, because I know for a fact, a ton of you were here for the fan-made stuff. The fanfics, fanarts, discussions about characters, etc.
I came here for that too. Doesn't mean I'm giving up this whole thing. But I'm going to take time to go back to the fun part. Because honestly, my page has turned into an analysis page😅 it's 70% rant posts about the bullshit pr, and 30% me and my fics...
Bro! I intended to make fucking fics before 250 Followers Celebration comes... But I'm way behind... Partly, because of life. And partly because the second something goes down, I drop nearly everything, and focus so much time and energy on this.
So, I'm not saying drop him or any celeb completely. I'm saying we need to tone down our idolization, because it may have gotten to the point where it isn't healthy.
For the sake of your health, mental and otherwise, Fandom. Take time to enjoy what you love about this Fandom. And please don't say anything about tearing the PR Narrative, because even I have to admit, it takes it's toll.
Again, not backing down, or stepping down. Just giving myself time to take care of me, and spend time with my family while they're still alive.
I don't know if this Christmas season will be the last that I get to spend time with any of them, so I'm going to make sure I live every minute with them. And not stuck in this hole I've dug myself for months, since the wedding announcement.
And you should all do that for yourselves, guys. Take the time, and make it count.
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amethystina · 5 months
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I was tagged by @a-very-fond-farewell! Thank you so much darling 💜
1. Last song: Shishen Take On the Challenge from The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity soundtrack (which I paid a small fortune to get my hands on so you bet I've been listening to it almost non-stop ever since. The music is SO FUCKING GOOD OKAY)
2. Favorite color: Purple — which I feel should come as a surprise to no one xD
3. Currently watching: The Killing Vote, because I apparently need more dramas where the Korean public is allowed to vote on whether or not to execute people. Quite enjoying it so far! The characters are a hoot xD And I'm curious to see what they do with the Kwon Seok Joo dude.
I also just started The Guest because I want to watch it before they remove it from Netflix but BOI. That's not one I'll be able to binge, that's for sure. Horror is great but also, well, terrifying x'D
Though, I must say, I might have to take a detour and rewatch the Along With the Gods movies. I've been meaning to do so for ages and seeing Kim Dong Wook in The Guest makes the urge even stronger. Because, let me tell you, I'm SO EAGER to rewatch the movies and observe the characters now that I've seen the twist at the end of the second movie. A twist I figured out before I actually reached the reveal, sure, but I don't think that's a bad thing? Like, for real, guys. The AUDIBLE GASP I let out when I realised what the twist was going to be and then got to sit there and see it slowly dawn on the other characters? BEAUTIFUL. And it CHANGES SO MUCH. Like, I need to rewatch them because so much of what I thought I knew is now a lie! Circumstances have changed! My initial analysis might be wrong! Characters I thought I knew are now completely different! I need to do more research! I NEED TO KNOW.
(This is what happens when your brain works like mine. And one day I might tell you all about why Kang Yo Han is such a fascinating character to me, because, let me tell you, I've rarely seen a character remain so solid in his characterisation even through the kind of reveals we're given in the drama. It's fucking SPECTACULAR)
4. Currently reading: Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (I do it in bursts because it's not the kind of book I can just binge, okay? x'D), We Have Always Lived In the Castle by Shirley Jackson (I would have finished this LONG ago if it didn't give me so much anxiety (but in a good way?)) and Eld by Mats Strandberg and Sara Bergman Elfgren (though I should probably start over on this one since I was very distracted when I read the first chapter)
5. Last movie: No Regret, because why not dabble in older Korean LGBTQ+ content? It was a ride, that's for sure xD And the next movie will be The World to Come (also one I want to watch before it's removed from Netflix)
6. Sweet/spicy/savory: Either sweet or savoury — it depends on my mood, really.
7. Relationship status: Married! :D
8. Current obsession: I'm not sure if I have one right now? Though I am hoping to get back on track with that diorama thing soon. I've almost collected all the materials I need! I just need fake foliage (preferably red) and I'm going to try and buy that either tomorrow or on Saturday.
9. Last thing you googled? Why my phone kept taking only green photos. And everyone kept telling me I shouldn't have unlocked the bootloader (which I don't think can be done by accident and I sure as hell haven't done it intentionally) so in the end I just restarted it and now it works just fine xD
10. Selfie: I don't really take selfies but here's a cropped version of a drawing WIP of mine.
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If you know, you know ;)
(... LOOK, the suspender-pulling had to happen eventually, okay?)
11. Currently working on: Chapter 5 of A New Dawn (Begins With Us) and, after that, it'll be either chapter 37 of Who Holds the Devil or maybe the sequel to Gravitational Pull which I'm STILL struggling to find the time to work on. I'm also working on, like, six different drawings simultaneously. Because why make things easy for myself?
Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! Tell me about yourself! :D
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a-friendly-fangirl · 6 months
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Random thoughts on We're in Love (or "Your average Italian girl has had an awful week and Boygenius' love saves her ass again"):
So, I've been listening to the Boys and to their solo stuff the whole week (for the past 5 months, to be honest... but who's counting?) and I've been going crazy lately for the beauty of We're in Love.
I think we can all acknowledge that that song is one of the greatest songs in "The Record" and one of the best ever written. And then I started bawling, when my mind got stuck on its lyrics and realised just how heartbreaking and beautiful it is.
This will be kind of my personal analysis (also inspired by some suggestions here and there... thank you to all the geniuses around that have noticed certain things. I wish I could write down all your names, but my memory is awful), so if you disagree with it or feel the need to add something, do it. I'd be happy to meet more Boygenius fans!
Ok, I'd like to begin with the third and fourth line of the first verse, where Lucy sings: "I don't need the symbol of a scar/ So put down the knife, we're not swapping blood". And yet, in "The film", Julien still takes a blood oath with the young versions of Lucy and Phoebe. I think that this was such an interesting choice to make, considering the difference between the words and the actions. This actually makes sense though, when underlining that 20$ is Julien's song and these words belong to Lucy.
Julien, as her solo albums readily witness, has no real problem with hurting herself ('Cause I'm so good at hurting myself - Brittle Boned) both physically and psychologically. We also know, from 20$, that she does believe in being connected to Phoebe and Lucy in every universe or life (In another life we were arsonists). Lucy does too with them (And I told you of your past lives; In the next one [life], will you find me? - We're in Love). Same goes for Phoebe, even though it's a little more subtle with her. In fact, more than believing in other lives, she seems to believe in changing herself in the present life, so much that, even though Emily I'm Sorry is her song, she has decided to sing it with her best friends, because, maybe, she'd rather be someone that can be loved by them in particular and not someone only Emily "could want".
To better understand the scar line/imagery, I think it important to notice that Julien doesn't take the blood oath with her adult friends but with their younger selves. In my opinion, it's like a machine has brought them in Julien's universe or timeline to help her get out of her home, which, listening to her music, is a synonym of recovery or at least of a better state of mind (in Go Home and Please Stay, it is quite clear: "I wanna go home, I'm sick", while in Graceland Too she finally gets out once she's feeling better). But, not belonging there (and we know they don't thanks to Julien's surprised expression when she sees little Phoebe), pehaps she's afraid that she'll lose them once they're done with the car, therefore asking them to do that oath. Childhood scars never fully leave us, so Julien might be convinced that it'll help adult Phoebe and Lucy to remember her, once they meet as intended or hoped.
When you think about it, the layers here are so many that it's scary. Scars have always at least a touch of negativity, even when you get them for something not negative per se (I have so many scars I got from running around as a child...), because they always follow pain. Julien and Phoebe have dealt with it their whole life and have actively put themselves through it more than once, so of course Julien chooses to use a knife (which also brings us back again to Please Stay: "The hunting knife you kept by your bed". I don't think the mention in We're in Love is a coincidence) against herself if it means being sure Phoebe and Lucy know it's her. But Lucy stops her for two main reasons:
Julien won't have to wait for them to find her, because she and Phoebe will, according to Lucy, be the ones going to her, if they want to (Will you find me?);
Instead of remembering each other through something painful, they could use the happy and positive memories they've shared in this life. Lucy once again wants to do everything in her power to dismantle her friends' self-destructive tendencies and replace them with something good (even the "happy" in Letter to an Old Poet was her suggestion).
Moving on to the next lines (Isn't it enough that we stripped down to our skin?/ Cold and porcelain like bathers in a painting), the beauty of this specific portrait delivered by Lucy kind of proves the point just made. Saying that the skin is "cold" and "porcelain" delivers a poetic image of extreme fragility that could be both literal or figurative and it shows just how much they trust each other. What Lucy appears to be pointing out is that she doesn't need any more pain to believe they're in love with each other, since they've already done the great sacrifice of showing themselves when they were most vulnerable (something they're still learning to do, according to recent interviews).
In Lucy's specific case (And I told you of your past lives, every man you've ever been/ It wasn't flattering, but you listened like it mattered), I'd go as far as to think that she did that by letting Phoebe and Julien listen to the stories of her past friendships or even relationships, telling them whom she had had by her side before them. She sings that that tale wasn't flattering: why? If I had to express myself on that, I'd guess, by her albums, that, just like any other human being, even Lucy has had a lot of troubled bonds with people she might have wrongly thought were as true and loyal to her as the Boys are now (take Strange Torpedo, Nonbeliever or Brando as examples). My personal take on this part is that she hasn't tried to tell Phoebe and Julien who they've been in the past, but to confess them who had had their roles in her life previously, feeling perhaps embarassed by it. But they're in no way bored or mad at her for that, listening, however, "like it mattered" (quoting True Blue: "It doesn't matter anymore", 'cause they're together now, but it is still important to her that they are paying attention to this part of her story).
She also admits being open to them about her own insecurities, especially the fear of being or seeming crazy (I feel crazy in ways I never say/ Will you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?/ I know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway), making herself vulnerable by exposing this side of her she usually keeps hidden in hope of being reassured by them, which they've probably done a thousand times already.
Long story short, coming to the end of the first chorus: Lucy loves and values them for the trust they've put in each other and no scar will ever match that feeling. I have a lot more to say about the rest of the song, but this is mostly me ranting about it, so I'll see how it goes. Sorry for all of this :P
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