#listen i have so many more i couldve done this for
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this is my element (+ album)
asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy
thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota
i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute
but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately
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so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD
they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit
flipping it turnways
putting the rock in the house like a big man
we had some of their merch actually
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so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element
released 2007
mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots
this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it
that framing was tight
===
so you may be asking yourself or me
dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem
ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down
but anyways to THAT i say
listen to the music
the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats
got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling
HELLA underground
and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"
dude is my hero seriously
he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff
aside from bro obviously
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obviously.
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anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s
revolutionary to the hip hop scene
nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats
still do
i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that
it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk
he had one of those
===
so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am
the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night
ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that
that was goofy lets just keep movin
it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever
random car sequence
yknow what i dont think people respect enough?
the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera
i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me
bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater
thats like an express ticket to the ER imo
the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog
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ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat
not great on a board myself
kinda dogshit at it actually
so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness
but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?
whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is
and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009
he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti
surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit
thats like
serendipitous as fuck i think!
===
if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with
instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead
i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review
===
so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess
bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man
#dave strider#homestuck#comix#this is my element#the way i drew dave posing here is rly heavily inspired by askinsufferableprick btw#welcome to strider infodump hours
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a very popular headcanon people have (i Think its popular. at least a lot of my twitter mutuals agreed with me a while back) is that joker comes from inaba, and if youve played p4 you know that theres literally nothing to do there
so a big headcanon that i used to be obsessed with is that he would spend a lot of his days skateboarding or biking around listening to music and exploring old dirt roads.. and he ended up getting a special interest in bugs and reptiles because hed come across so many during his little solo adventures. hes also very well versed in fishing its not a fixation or anything but just something hes pretty good at
this is why i tend to draw joker like some sort of skater boy. i think hes always stood out a lot in this small town even before the false assault charge, like he wasnt disliked or bullied but he just didnt really fit in. and this didnt bother him. i think he only realized how boring his life was when he became a phantom thief and got all these new friends in this new big city that understood him despite the circumstances that led him here. like man i really used to live like that and see nothing wrong with it? i didnt yearn for more?
it makes it even more painful when he has to leave and they naturally drift apart. because they all have dreams and ambitions, and the best years of their lives are waiting for them around the corner. but joker is back in this small town where theres nothing to do but hang out in some food court or poke around in the woods. i imagine this newfound loneliness is really hard on him, not to mention the guilt for feeling like hes somehow to blame for. well, whatever happened with goro
to me personally i think goro lived. i think he mustered up the perseverance to bite and claw his way out of shidos palace after seeing that even someone like him has a chance at being loved, he just didnt really remember this in marukis reality because it was all a blur. so both goro and joker were completely clueless as to what his fate would be if they went back to their true reality, which is what was so scary. the uncertainty. he could very well be dead but how could they know for sure? i just dont like the thought of him dying before he could truly live, even though i understand the tragedy of it can be poetic, i just cant stand for him going out like that because i relate a lot to his struggles. and i think it would go against the overall positive message of p5r. sure not everybody gets to have a second chance or a happy ending, but. man. anyways
joker fully believes goro is dead though. he wouldnt be crazy to assume this considering how they parted ways in shidos palace. but it eats away at him and maybe he really does go crazy. maybe his life feels like its stuck in time and while his old friends are out chasing their dreams, hes stuck. broken and shattered over feeling like he couldve done something to save him, knowing jokers savior/martyr complex
im running out of steam and i didnt mean to ramble on about my post-p5r headcanons but, to wrap it up: goro is in rehab somewhere and has a service dog to help with his dissociation and mood swings. and a couple other stuff. he feels like if he walks back into jokers life itll mess something up like joker will just break down or something. so he keeps his distance until they cross paths again. im just very obsessed with the idea of goro getting his life together vs joker wanting so badly to chase that high of phantom thievery again but failing and being actually so depressed
man morgana must be exhausted
#persona 5#idk might as well tag it? DFJHNJDMKSNDJ#I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY RAMBLE.#pleaseeeee tell me what you think i love to think about post p5r shuake <- literally running a zine about it
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RG tells Matty to go and deal with Stevie because she gets suspended and he’s being stern but she breaks down and confides in him?
the school calls. you know as soon as the teacher introduces himself, which child he is calling about. you're at the bookstore, and can't get out until closing, so you call matty.
"school called," you say to him when he picks up.
"stevie matilda?"
"stevie matilda. can you go get her? i can't leave work."
so he does. he shuts down the music he was working on and gets in the car, flipping his keys over and over in his hands. at front desk he doesn't need to introduce himself.
"ah, mr healy," the receptionist says.
"how are you, gwen?"
"oh you know, same old, different day."
matty nods in agreement, "well i'm here again, so you're not the only one. where is my delight?"
"stevie is ready for you," she says, and points to the little waiting room to the side. he looks through the glass and sees her, twiddling her hair, looking in her lap. his heart twinges. his sweet little baby. it doesnt feel like the same girl who couldve called her teacher a cunt. which he secretly finds fucking hilarious. but he rearranges his face. you've told him to be more stern. he barges into the waiting room. its an act. it's all an act.
"get up." he says, "let's go."
"dad i..."
"let's go," he says, cutting her off. she slopes off the chair, grabbing her bag and going past him and out the door.
"what you playing at stevie?" matty says when they're in the car.
she turns around a grins at him. she thinks she can break him. she's done it so many times. he doesnt budge.
"well?" he says. her face falls. she turns to look out the window.
"nothing."
"we aint going for ice cream this time pal. it's getting too much. i cant keep coming out here and getting you from school. you really need to get your fucking act together."
"who are you?" stevie says, pulling a face at him.
"don't. i can't keep bailing you out of things. i dont get it. well i do. i know it's fucking shit to have to do things you dont wanna do. but you can't keep doing this. you're gonna fuck up your life."
stevie mumbles something. matty doesnt hear.
"what?"
"i said, maybe i want to!" stevie snaps. he can hear the pain in her voice as it catches in her throat. he looks over at her. she's hiding her face. is she crying. is his tough little girl crying.
"stevie?" he says, his voice softening. her shoulders shake, "oh baby girl."
he's cracked and he knows it but he doesnt care. this is different. this feels different. he knows her. he knows her. she is part of him. so like him. his melancholy shadow. his midnight nightmare buddy. both of them often up in the early hours of the morning, unable to sleep. he thinks about all those years. the thinking. the overthinking. the shakes. the panic attacks. the overcast feeling. she is so much like him. he pulls over the car.
"my love," he says, "are you okay?"
his own voices cracks, he's crying too now.
"i'm so bored," she says, "i'm so bored."
"does everything feel, like, grey?"
she nods. she starts sobbing.
"i was trying to concentrate in french," she gushes out, "i was. but my mind kept drifting and i was looking at my book and i was just doodling to try and get my hands to do something so my mind could listen but the teacher yelled at me and it was so unfair and i know i shouldnt have yelled and i know i shouldnt have said that word but... i just. i just did."
"oh love," he says. he holds out his arms to her. she clambers into them, as if she is still a small child. "its okay," he says rubbing her back. "it was the wrong thing to do. okay but sometimes, if our minds aren't feeling well, we do the wrong things. i do them all the time."
"i know," stevie says, through tears. matty chuckles.
"alright!" he says. he wipes her eyes. "we're gonna help you. okay? this feeling bored? the grey? we're gonna talk to someone about it. and we need to start trying to get more sleep. both of us. okay?"
she looks up at him and nods.
"deal?"
"deal," she says.
"now, let's go get some ice cream."
#ruins#ruins behind the scenes#matty healy x reader#matty healy x you#matty healy#matty healy x y/n#the 1975 fanfic#matty healy fanfiction#dad!matty
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THE 100 — you get injured while protecting them
fluff/slight angst ig
author note: i do write for the 100 book characters too, and sasha was one of my favs but i seriously need to reread. requested by @nickeverdeen 🫶
bellamy :
bellamy would blame himself.
if he had been paying attention, then he could’ve helped. he should’ve heard your shout, for him to move.
but no, you pushed him out of the way, and got the arrow lodged into your arm instead.
it should have been him.
the guilt would eat at him
he wouldn’t leave your side, constantly apologising and doting on you
no matter how many times you say you forgive him, he just feels even worse.
he would bring you flowers everyday. your favourites, of course
whenever abby comes in to check up on you, he would be listening attentively to whatever she says you need, and he would do it.
if you needed to change the bandage every few hours, he would do it for you, so gently.
if you needed help with anything, he’d be there.
sasha :
sasha would blame the enemies. she would never dare blame you, she’d be a hypocrite if she did. because she would have done the exact same for you.
the two of you shouldn’t have left mount weather, sasha’s father told you not to.
but you two wanted to help out, keep a look out.
when you two started getting shot at, she tried to hide.
but one of them found her. so you did what you could, and ran into him full speed, pushing him over.
you shouted at sasha to run, before more came. but she wanted to make sure the guy you had pushed was completely knocked out. it was a stupid decision.
the two of you shouldve ran while you could
as soon as you noticed there was another, with a gun, you jumped in front of sasha, right as the bullet was shot straight into your stomach.
when you woke the next morning, you could hardly remember anything.
she was sat beside you on the bed, holding your hand
“im sorry, those assholes are gone now. dont worry, your safe.”
she would be mad at them, but also at the both of you for going out in the first place.
clarke :
she would blame you.
clarke can take care of herself, and for you to just put yourself in danger like that? hell no.
the minute you awoke, she’d begin her lecture.
“you couldve died!” was said atleast 5 times
despite her anger, clarke really was just dead sick worried.
you are the one she loves, and she must always protect you
she hates that you took that bullet for her, and it will haunt her for weeks
she’d have nightmares of you dying and her failure to protect you
because what good was she to her people, if she couldn’t even protect the one she gave her heart to?
despite her anger and rants, you refuse to apologise for saving her. you’d do it again if you had to.
but, you do apologise for making her worried sick.
she forgives you eventually, and sets out for revenge immediately.
#bellamy blake x reader#bellamy blake#the 100 x reader#the 100 fanfiction#the 100 bellamy#the 100 preferences#clarke griffin x reader#clarke griffin#sasha walgrove#the 100 books
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Round 2 Set 2 Poll 1
Poll Runner's Lack of Anime Knowledge Really Needs to be Rectified: Metajecra VS Metagoon!
Which one's rarer, and which one's pairer? Vote now, for your favourite rarepair!
Propaganda:
Metajecra
In the anime, Meta speaks more highly of him more than anyone else. It’s EXTREMELY clear Meta was very fond of Knuckle Joe’s father, in the sub MK says that he “swears on his love”. ALSO their masks both have the matching four spikes, there HAD to be something going on there.
Metagoon
HEAR ME OUT!!!! LISTEN!!! first off its a knight x assistant, SECOND they are both old ass men THIRD they are both the sassiest men in the show!!! I am aware they have directly interacted two times throughout the entire run of the show and have barely acknowledged each other but!!!! both mk and escargoon have known each other for a long time within the castle besides sword, blade and ddd. so they very likely both couldve been having super deep conversations for those however many decades. both of them take very similar approaches but different when it comes on their stance of king dedede. escargoon seems to only be around the king because of the status being directly under him gives him and the benefits to the job but escargoon does not like what ddd puts him thru. same thing can be said for mk who very obviously is only working under the king because of ddd for his association with nightmare and kirby who is set to land there any time. they both work for him for a means to an end rlly. I also think that mks frim nature could rlly help escargoon break out of his “two personalities” cycle. when escargoon is around ddd hes a bitch when hes not (sometimes) hes nice(?). though once he gains his status back under ddd or no longer makes use for the kids hes prtty bitchy again. mk could probably set him straight or atleast walk him in the right path with him not being his superior nor one of the “brats” he has to deal with. they seem on equal footing. also just a hc i like to think because both escargoon and mk are mechanics that after the anime escargoon helps mk rebuild the halberd. OKOK IM DONE!!!!! HERES A FIC I NEVER FINISHED IF U WANNA SEE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AND ILL MIND [Linked is the fic in question!]
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kung fu panda 4 review - spoiler free
it was solid, not as good as the first three movies, but the og triology set the bar so high even a 'not as good' movie is still a fun watch. The animation is beautiful and you get quite a bunch of awesome action scenes out of it
zhen is a lot more likable when not voiced by awkwafina (croatian dub saved me ✊️) but even that wont save her from her character being pretty bland. ironically the same criticism for her design could be applied for her character as well, not bad, likable enough, just fails to stand out and ive seen it done better a lot of times already
chameleon... oh boy... so much potential, such incredible built up, such luckluster execution... ill talk more abt her in spoiler section, but honestly she was the weakest link of the movie
dont get your hopes up for furious five, they only really exist as a cameo, what you will get is mr ping and li being a very married couple and personally if theres anything worth seeing the movie for its them (still im hoping for at least a short abt the furious five, cmon theyve been non existent since kfp 3)
the pacing was too fast, and there were too many comedic and too little serious moments, glad im not the only one that noticed
ive seen a lot of complaints about tai lung and other past villains not being in the movie enough, but honestly im happy for that bc its not their movie, they all had their own movies to shine and i really feared this movie would rely too much on them to carry the hype and im glad that wasnt the case. PLEASE stop asking film studios to spoonfeed you familiar content
end of spoiler free review, spoilers under cut
the chameleon rant
you know, i believe the kfp movies are heavily carried by their villains. they're the ones that set the tone, bring the stakes, and not only are they a foe for po to defeat but represent his internal conflict (tai lung being self acceptance, shen being overcoming grief and kai being self discovery) so to have the villain be the movie's weakest spot is... not great at all
firsty, the chameleon is the first movie villain in the franchise to not have any beef with any of the main characters (like tai lung had with shifu, lord shen with po and kai with oogway) and that couldve been great, give us a villain that doesnt care about po or anyone else and is just doing their own thing, its something new and an unexplored territory, but then they do nothing with it.
what does she want? to rule the valley of peace? all of china? ok and then what? the city shes already rulling doesnt look like its doing too bad to me. why should i care about her being defeated? yeah shes mean, but where are the STAKES
and how does she reflect po's conflict? because its about accepting change and she's a chameleon? weak, that only connect on paper and only barely. is it how she was never accepted to train kung fu because of her size? that's such a lame motive. really? not a single kung fu place wanted to take you in for your size? in a franchise full of all the different characters of all different shapes and sizes being kung fu masters? yeah ok sure
what i did like about her is how they made her get her way through manipulation and intimidation. she's not strong, she's not a skilled fighter, she's not inherently scary, but she uses smoke and mirrors to intimidate people around her and manipulative tactics to get her henchmen to listen which ties nicely into her shapeshifting abilities, just wish theyve done more with it, show us how she spreads horror stories about herself, show us the influence she has over the townspeople, show us just how manipulative she is of zhen, hell have her be all kind and nice to her in moments to bait her to stay under her wing (yk as abusive parents do)
nothing much more i have to say so spoiler part was rly just abt the chameleon but i needed to rant abt her more in depth bc i had high hopes for her
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ello bones hope youre doing good
just found even more cool songs thanks to you, how do you always have more???
also WE COULDVE HAD YOU DOING ASL??? aw man :( (/lh)
anyway, I just turned in my paper that ive been working on for the last few months (yay, finally, it ate like all of my free time and energy) and suddenly I have too much free time and not much too read or watch (I had saved so many fics I cant manage to read anymore)
any coming of age books (or fics) or movies recommendations? (I need me some honey and tangerines vibes yk? ive been listening to the playlist too much again. one day I think ill read that fic again, but today is not the day)
much love to go you all in the ask box, eli <3
I'm doing pretty good! went to a yoga class tonight and I'm seeing the tommyinnit live show tomorrow so it's shaping up to be a pretty great weekend!
I actually filmed a video to post here on language day and everything but I wanted to redo it so my face wasn't fully in frame but then I just didn't get around to it :( oh well next time
OOO congrats on turning in that paper!! that's a huge accomplishment, I hope you get a great grade on it. and yay for free time!
oh boy ok coming of age recs I can do this. I haven't read any coming of age books since I was a teenager though so keep in my my memory of these are all hazy
books:
the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky - hallmarker of the coming of age genre, read this when I was 16 and cried, even if you've seen the movie I highly recommend the book
aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz - literally was one of my favorite books for so many years. I read it when I was 15 and became obsessed with it. I still look back on it so warmly it's just such a great book
it's kind of a funny story by ned vizzini - also read this one when I was like 16ish. I remembered enjoying it but not as much as the other two I've listed here. still very good though!
movies:
cha cha real smooth (2022) - actually one of my favorite coming of age films I've ever seen. it's a coming of age film about a guy in his early 20s instead of in his teens which is refreshing in its own. it hit particularly hard for me because I saw it when I was 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do, the main character is 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do. it's also a very unique setup and I really loved how they pulled it off
the edge of seventeen (2016) - this might be a controversial pick because the main character is actually pretty insufferable in this, but that's part of why I enjoyed it. the character is meant to be insufferable. she's a teenage girl dealing with the hell of being a teenage girl and she sucks! it's an intentional thing and it does it very well! I would say it still falls flat in some areas, but I'm mainly recommending it because it's so refreshing to have an mc genuinely be a shitty person
sing street (2016) - I count this as a coming of age movie but it's also kind of a music movie? it's incredibly fun no matter what. the songs are so catchy, the characters are all great, and the relationships are just all very well done
the kings of summer (2013) - genuinely why do I never hear anyone talk about this movie. I haven't seen it in so long but I remember it being incredibly funny with a great dose of summertime whimsy
hunt for the wilderpeople (2016) - tbh I never thought of this as a coming of age movie and it might be a bit different than most of the films on here but I was looking up lists of coming of age movies to try and remember which ones I've seen and I saw this one mentioned a few times. if you're a fan of taika waititi films, in my opinion this is his best one hands down. it's hilarious but also incredibly sweet and heartwarming at the same time
moonrise kingdom (2012) - very charming and storybook esque in the way all wes anderson films are, but with a really sweet story between two kids at its core. again, different from most of the ones on this list, but definitely an enjoyable one all the same
hope this list helps!
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just gonna talk about my vessel guy, archive vessel, real quick cuz i never talked about him that much and i dont wanna bother my friends with my oc chatter
these are mostly disconnected thoughts vaguely strewn together that steered up cuz i listened to the man on the internet broken vessel theme with lyrics
ALOT under the cut be warned
anyway archive vessel's a really mild-mannered little guy, a little socially anxious and awkward cuz obviously, and kinda just hangs out despite everything, fucking around in the archives and keeping themselves occupied by reading whatever was left behind and trying to maintain the place once they found it
it kinda started to idealize the idea of family and friends through what they could read and they started to wish they could have that
be a big ol normal family with their siblings and parents
maybe they could have made friends too
be a kid
but they realize that, obviously, due to the nature of their conception and just
what they are
its not really possible
but that doesnt stop them from wanting that
i can imagine they hold a lot of resentment towards their father for abandoning so very many of its siblings to die in the abyss
theyd probably understand why
he had a kingdom to protect and he believed this was the only way
but that doesnt mean they would forgive what was done
they hate how they cant help but feel
cheated at life, yaknow
done in by something they couldnt change
and after its cursed conception, to simply be cast aside to rot among the corpses of its siblings...
their anger is painful to them, like something lashing out violently in a cage barely holding it in
it wants to lash out at those that hurt them, but obviously thats not possible
so it just
festers like that
mind you, they wouldn't take that out on their siblings
they were put into the same situation as it, so it isn't fair to them or itself
at most, they treat their siblings like the most precious scrolls in the archives
theyd also just
put in alot of their time to gather the bodies of their siblings that were able to escape the abyss but died anyway
make proper "graves" for it to just
grieve
even though they never knew them
they just wish they couldve found and helped them earlier, but at the least it finds peace in giving them proper resting places
i feel like their shade wouldn't have the same restrain they usually have with their anger and would probably violently attack anything that comes too close so uh
itd be a really big hassle to try n get them back in their shell if ever it got cracked open like an egg
theyd also act like this if they were ever able to meet pk after everything like in those aus
theyd still have some restraint cuz
yeag
but they just
are not handling it well™
theyd meet him once and never want to see him again until they can find it in themselves not to wish to hurt him
shell would crack (moreso than it already is) under the pure stress
they wish to yell, to hurt, to let out all these pent up emotion
but it wont
despite everything, when meeting pk again, it'll find it unfair
i mean
everything pk did to them and their siblings was unfair but
archive vessel cant bring himself to make it "fair" by letting all that resentment out like that
doesnt feel right
if ever they were forced to continuously interact with pk theyd keep it as brief as possible and treat him like a stranger-it-has-to-be-around most of the time
if pk were to try to like
be a dad to the archive vessel itd just be
very uncomfortable and awkward, cringing away from touch and, again, keeping things as brief as possible
which may hurt pk (if he cares cuz note my characterization of pk isnt fully done cooking so im not sure if he'd even be interested in doing any of this it might be more likely he never interacts with archive tbh) cuz with other people showing affection to archive, they eat that shit up but with pk itd just
naw
generally, they dont wanna be around him for too long cuz then it'll need to actually feel the things they feel at full force and feeling things is kinda cringe to them
they hate how intensely they feel sometimes cuz of just how painful it is for them (projecting /hj)
equally so, they also hate bothering people with shit like that cuz "i survived until now, everyone else has their own problems and issues and struggles, i dont need to add on to what theyve got" (projecting /hj)
#some of this probably comes off like im a pk hater but im not i promise#im just projecting my neglectful father symptoms on archive#/hj /lh#dont ask if im ok im fine#anyway yeah please dont kill me#.txt#hollow knight#hk#hollow knight oc#hk oc#also yeah archive uses it/they cuz heehee silly!!!! no gender!!!!#would probably present more masculine if ever#not cuz i view the vessels as exclusively male tho i can fuck with she/her thk#i just think masc presenting archive feels right#god this all sounds insane and nonsensical when i write it all down but fuck it we ball#(bawl)
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theres a lot to say about the subject of forgiving abusers but really it all just comes down to the fact that theres like. different types of forgiveness, and the fact that dsmp doesnt exist in a bubble. theres nothing wrong with like, tommy going yeah i forgive you because i need to move the fuck on with my life. his decision. there wouldnt even be anything wrong with tommy apologizing because dream was about to die. tommy is at his core a kind person, theres nothing wrong with him showing some regret and kindness, even to dream.
what is wrong with tommy apologizing to dream and gaining this ~understanding~ of him is that it uh. is based on the idea that tommy being an annoying 16 year old is a fair reason for dream to effectively kidnap, abuse, and outright torture him and also kill him three times, kill lazar and vikk three times each and torture them, try to kill tubbo just to get to tommy, torture and kill sam to have control over the prison, abandon sapnap and george, manipulate multiple people, and more.
its that tommy taking on the blame for ruining dream in the same way dream ruined him. makes it out as if theyre equals in any way. as if their entire relationship wasnt always dream having power over tommy and abusing it, abusing him. theres hardly a win in clingyduo taking themselves out with dream, not in a "the only way to seek justice is to kill dream" way (although that has some truth to it on a narrative sense), but in a "jesus fuck they had lives outside of him and the narrative acts as if this is the only way, they have to abandon everything just to show that dream and tommy couldve been friends if.. what, tommy was less annoying and a bit more kind?" way
and ultimately it sucks because. this just isnt a good time for that kind of narrative. not to meta game, but when one of the actors has allegations currently in legal question against him, its.. not great, that the story hes been working on for years now where his character consistently hurt and abused and held his position of power over a teenager ends on a forgive and forget moral. no matter what the truth of the matter about the allegations are, thats.. uncomfortable. not because im upset that dream didnt die in the way i wanted, but because during a time where victims have it hard as is, its just.
not appropriate? to have almost two years of a storyline about abuse and how it affects the victim, turns them into a worse version of themself and keeps them in a state of terror for as long as their abuser is out there, creates a situation where because the abuser happened to be somewhat charismatic and hide their worst flaws from the public, the victim is scared that no one will believe then, and does have a multitude of people who think that the victim shouldnt be listened to, because theyre annoying, because the abuser wouldnt do that, because the victim must have done something to deserve it, to make the abuser do what they did. and have it end on a note where the victim apologizes for making the abuser a worse person by.. being annoying. and dies with their abuser and their best friend, memory wiped of everything (supposedly, including their memories of their friends and family) so they can go on and be friends with their abuser never knowing what happened.
all while a victim of one of the actors has been mass harassed because.. supposedly, dream wouldnt do that. because amanda acted weird before and after. because she wanted it and that made it okay, even though she was in a position where she didnt know what was wrong about dreams actions. because. dream has power over her, because hes a somewhat charismatic man whose built up a public face of a well-meaning man who cares about his community and about victims. and amanda, in the eyes of many who dont believe her, is an annoying girl who just wants to ruin dreams life. all while we have some clues suggesting that dream may have finally gotten around to this so he could do damage control.
even if you ignore that the ending just isnt satisfying on a narrative level, it. gets concerning, to think about, when you realize that this story is influenced by cc biases, and that that includes dreams own biases against the people hes hurt in real life. thats what makes the ending uncomfortable. its not a proper story leading up to a narratively satisfying understanding of where the abuser came from, a narrarively satisfying way for the victim to forgive and move on. its a not great moral at a bad time handled by someone i dont trust to have had good intentions when playing out this ending. the fact that the people who already hated ctommy for being a victim of cdream can feel like they were right and go on to hate amanda for being a victim of ccdream? thats unsettling. very fucking unsettling.
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So I started listening to tma like two weeks ago, and thought Id share some of my thoughts with you- first i texted them to my friend but then I started writing them over here
MAJOR TMA SPOILERS FOR S1 AND S2!!!
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More of season 2:
Honestly if i were Barnabas i would also do anything for my hot witch gf
I love Gertrude but her voice makes me want to sleep
I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH THIS ISNT SASHA
Sasha would never say contientious
Idk why its funny to me that Michael couldve absolutely done some horror shit to Jon but he just stabs him
Also I feel so so bad for the woman that is now stuck in the weird corridors like imagine the terror and the hopelessness i hope her death cane quickly tbh
Also the vampires are back didnt expect that
I like Daisy
Ushanka is me in ict class honestly I hate ict class so much its super boring
Also the name ushanka is so freaking funny hes basically named "Funky hat" WHY
Yk I feel like someone needs to murder Salesa, hes a dangerous individual
The supplementals are the wildest shit EVER WDYM YOURE IN THE TUNNNELS GIRL
WHY IS THERE SO MANY THREADS THAT NEED UNRAVELING
Melanie is back lol
WOAH WAIT WHAT
WHAT
ITS REMARKABLY EASY TO BUY AN AXE IN CENTRAL LONDON??? WTF JON
JON DID YOU JUST FUCKING BREAK THE TABLE YOU IDIOT NOOO
HOLY SHIT HOOOLY SHIT STUFFS GOING DOWN
ARE TIM AND MARTIN IN THE CORRIDORS HOLY SHIT NO
Wait how did they make it out??
STAREMENT OF JURGEN LEITNER OHMYGOD
"We dont have time for you to have a breakdown archivist" yes we do give him a break
ELIAS WHAT ARE YOU--- OH
Soooo i guess leitner is dead?? Woah Elias truly doesnt care about being arrested huh
WAIT IS SASHA ACTUALLY DEAD?? NOOOO NONONO WAIT
I THOUGHT SHES JUST LOCKED UP SOMEWHERE SASHA NOOO
Okay that freaking scarred me ill miss sasha so much nooooo
I. I need a moment. (Sobbing)
Hhhhh okay ill just... god
I started s3 yesterday, I might follow up with my impressions
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5) ramble about a song, 6) a song for which you like a cover more than the original, 14) an unpopular music opinion
5. Ramble about a song
*takes a deep breath* Hoo boy so...
This song, this song is in my opinion is the most beautiful song in the world. It's sung with the upmost love and vulnerability in Klaus' beautiful German accented countertenor that i can't help but tear up everytime I listen to it. Part of what makes it perfect to me is that it's the perfect conclusion to this album (which was Klaus' debut album). It's been pointed out that Klaus' is not actually singing in any particular language and that it's all just gibberish, however it makes sense tho! Since Klaus is supposed to be an alien from outer space and assuming he didn't known any human languages before coming to earth and just admired the sound of the music here, then of course he'd only sing in gibberish. Sadly tho he didn't spend enough time here on earth to learn any languages anyhow as you could hear at the end of the song his space craft starts up and to the sound of beautiful chaos (if youve listened to it youll know what i mean) it gets ready for lift off before descending into the skies until the sound fades away into nothing. Not since 'Rock n roll suicide' from 'The rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from mars' has there been such a perfect way to end an album. Unfortunately life ended up imitating art in a way in that Klaus Nomi himself would end up leaving this world just over 2 years after the release of 'Klaus Nomi'. Knowing that fact it adds a real sadness to the song that makes you wonder what Klaus would've gone on to become and the music he would have created down the line and also what movies he would've done since Klaus had mentioned in an interview that he wanted to be in many movies, which he shouldve and couldve, the 80s were practically made for him. He was so ahead of his time and by all accounts he was a very sweet, shy and kind man that was taken back to his home planet far too soon💔
There's this quote from his best friend Joey Arias that said about Klaus' performance of this song on The New Wave vaudeville show
"I still get goose pimples when I think about it ... It was like he was from a different planet and his parents were calling him home. When the smoke cleared, he was gone."
youtube
6. A song for which you like a cover more than the original
Ewan McGregor's rendition of 'Your song' in Moulin rouge🥺❤️❤️❤️ legit makes my heart skip a beat
14. An unpopular music opinion
Opera is freakin beautiful and I feel sorry for those who think otherwise
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here's a fun one, top 5 characters that have been done the dirtiest by the writers
OOOOOO THIS ONE>>>>>>>
5. Nile. Listen. He’s such a good character. He’s so likable and interesting I just feel like he deserved more screen time
4. Team. Fucking. Garcia. Their writing makes me so angry. It is fucking stupid that they were irredeemable villains because they had SO MANY opportunities to expand upon their characters and they just didn’t and I think it’s tragic. also a little fucked up that the only Latino characters of the series are irredeemable villains who’s main motivation is making it out of poverty but hey that’s just me
3. Am i allowed to put Kyoya here. Because I think Kyoya was one of the biggest downgrades of the series. I’ve already kinda talked about this so I don’t wanna go on too much of a rant here but his character just becomes so shallow and flat as the series goes on and it makes me so upset because that all culminates in fucking FURY KYOYA WHO IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON AND JUST COMPLETELY RUINS ANY LAST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HES HAD. AND THE WORST PART OF THAT IS THAT THERE W A S A REALLY GOOD WAY THEY COULDVE WRITTEN HIM HAVING A CHARACTER REGRESSION BUT THEY JUST DO IT SO POORLY THAT IT JUST ENDS UP IRRITATING AND UPSETTING
2. uehehfuufjddj damiannnnnnn my boy. I draw so much post-masters Damian because my god that boy has so much unexplored trauma that I really just wanna see him grow and move forward from. I think they could’ve explored even more of his backstory and given him more clarity afterwards he deserves it. He’s so complex if you think about it for even a second and I wish they allowed him to really let that shine
1. Hyoma. You already know im gonna say Hyoma. MY BOY HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER. HES SO INTERESTING AND HAS SUCH INSANE DEPTH IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT BUT THEY JUST NEVER UTILIZED IT AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD BECAUSE HE COULVED BEEN SO MUCH BUT HE WAS COMPLETELY SNUBBED.
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saw an autistic person shunning "atypical" as a show because Sam does bad, socially inappropriate things and it feels like a "tell me youre high functioning but refuse to view yourself as such" meets "terminally online" kinda thing.
i know people hate functioning labels but hey, as someone who is less high functioning i really related to the show. i do bad, socially inappropriate things too!
"but there were so many other things he couldve done" thats what being overwhelmed is like for a lot of us. yes, there are definitely other more logical options, but i cant think of them right now because i am in severe distress.
"but everyone treats him like an innocent angel" yes, THAT IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE SHOW. thats a whole plot point iirc - he doesnt get held accountable for things he definitely should be held accountable for. that is bad. i dont think the show portrays it as a good thing.
its not a perfect show, of course its not. the "perfect show" or "perfect representation" doent exist. but the idea that its irredeemable because some high functioning autistics with large platforms dont like it... i dont like that.
autistic "influencers" will say they listen to lower functioning people, but then refuse to acknowledge their privilege or the fact that they are actually high functioning. "im not actually high functioning im just masking!!!" is bullshit. please just accept that people have opinions different to your own, and that your view as an autistic person is not necessarily universal.
this is why i have grown to hate the online autistic "community" :(
#sorry for using functioning labels i know lots of people dont like them. its just much easier sometimes#in cases like this i think its justified#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#atypical
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Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins ethubs
okay, i literally left my overwatch game at the very beginning just to listen to this song. also im honored that you thought to send this to me whoever you are
this is a banger song btw
i think "both of us searching for some perfect world / we know we'll never find / so perhaps i should leave here" is really good. because i think ideally etho is looking for a world where he and bdubs can be okay together, but in the end his hand is always forced and he decides to save himself rather than letting them both die together, painfully, because at least bdubs can live on in his memory, right? he does so much to run around and get lives for bdubs, whether it be through tango or the scar safety net. he'd do anything for bdubs, except die.
bdubs, on the other hand, WOULD die for etho, and he does, somewhat. he's looking for a world where someone will be as devoted to him as he is to them, and nobody realizes that they'd be nothing without bdubs -- ren, scar, etho. but he's always placed in second because of how eager he is to give his full loyalty to people; he's like a dog, always waiting for his owner to come home. he knows that etho will always save himself before anyone else. he knows what lengths etho would go to just to stay alive, the lengths that his self-preservation reach.
"but you know that there's nowhere that i'd rather be / than with you here today" etho even states that he gets tempted by bdubs' offer to be red with him and cause chaos, because he loves being with bdubs, and he loves causing chaos. even when bdubs is red, etho still lets them live together, he still lets his guard down and he still keeps close contact with bdubs no matter their circumstances. he could've easily gone somewhere else, instigated a fight so that he could drive bdubs out, he had multiple connections at that point. but he didnt. because he liked their base, and most of all, he liked being with bdubs. the fence was nothing but a safety precaution, but it isn't like etho thought bdubs would truly attack him anyways, which is secured by the fact that bdubs was the boogeyman so early on and easily couldve killed etho on so many occasions.
going along with that, "you ask if i love you / what can i say? / you know that i do / and that this is just one of those games that we play / so i'll sing you a new song / please, don't cry anymore / i'll even ask your forgiveness / though i don't know just what im asking for" to me represents etho being upset and distraught by bdubs' death, and he would apologize for it given the chance just to make bdubs not feel bad about it, but he knows in his heart that he wouldnt have done it any other way. if he were to apologize, he wouldn't be sure what it'd be for.
i think bdubs and grian's analyses of etho were both correct in their own rights. etho does love and care for bdubs deeply, but in the end, he has to preserve himself. bdubs knows it, yet doesnt want to see that part of etho, because he's is perfect for him in every other way, so if he just pretends hard enough... maybe etho will be as devoted to him as he is to etho.
TL;DR - i made ethubs way more dramatic than it actually is, because thats what i like doing
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maroon sampling a song from the rep era, an era where the word "fake" was prevalent and frequently used, and being a kaylor song and the ending of the great war being fake and a kaylor song is so ow (obviously taylor couldve just sampled a rep era song bc a lot of rep is about karlie and that was probably one reason but i feel like a lot of her production decisions are deeper than having only one reason)
Yeah, it is so ow you're right anon.
Like, let's add to that that she starts the song with her before switching to you and it's so painful. Like, I do think she is saying in part that the good parts of her relationship with Karlie weren't real love, it was fake love masquerading as real love because when you're in the lavender haze, everything looks good and amazing to you.
And so you can't really see the signs that this relationship is going to burn up, I think the choice of using maroon as the color is so interesting. I've spoken before about my many different interpretations of maroon, and like one of them is a fun one where I think she did it because maroon is more complex than the entirety of red. I can really do a lot of fun lit stuff with red and maroon because just the difference in how surface level red is versus how deep maroon is- I think it was motivated by the difference in the genders partially. Like, her heartbreak with karlie was deeper than with Jake for sure and it shines through the differences in the songs and like... in red- the lyrics they're all cliches. I think she did that on purpose.
I know ur talking about rep and I'm over here on red sorry anon but this is what ur getting right now lol but yeah red is on purpose all cliches because I think she is saying that relationship was a cliche to her- after all, she had already been groomed and abused once. I think it's very self-blaming and it was written in a self-blaming manner and so for me, maroon is also self-blaming but like in a real way?
The fact that she is taking accountability for hurting her lover in maroon, it contrasts to how she took on the assumed accountability that society was forcing on her through attacking her as a slut and a bitch and a villain but not turning their fingers towards the men in the situation. I also think it's a tell on the men being cliche and difficult to write meaningful lyrics about in a real way because they put up a facade with her precisely because it was predatory but this relationship with Karlie. This one hurt more and harder because they saw each other and still fucked it up. Like, they were good until they weren't type of deal and like sometimes being good individually doesn't mean ur good together and that's really what taylor had to learn with karlie and that's what shines to me when you take all the songs about kaylor and put them together.
Like, even maroon itself, it's specific to details and inside jokes and all the references mean something to the two women in that relationship that we will never understand because we weren't there with them and maroon feels like you're looking inside of kaylor with taylor in her mind whereas red is more of a outward perspective looking in- more like she wrote red about "oh no, I've done it again what will people say" type of way?
Like maroon is so special to me because it's the complete opposite of red in every way and that to me is indicative of it being queer alone but then you get the literal gay lyrics and I think it's fitting that she used maroon as the color. It's literally a shade of purple and you know, purple is also the color of fresh bruises. I think that's interesting, because in the great war it's definitely a retrospective years down the line changing of the narrative but maroon, you're right in the relationship and I think you can tell because the production alone is terrifying. Idk when I listen to that heavy thud, it reminds me of when I hear my blood rushing to my ears. It's so heavy handed in production, I can't help but feel like it's intentionally done to showcase how when ur in love, even the red flags can seem romantic or like a good sign.
And it's like, maroon is so heartbreaking to me because she is painting herself as the bad guy in the song. She's watching her lover sob with head in hands as they fall apart, that's so sad to me because it's an admission of guilt. Of knowing that the reason that your relationship cannot work is deeper than any of the fights you've been having. It's a deep incompatibility between the two of you that was always inherent but like fools in love, you rushed in and ignored the warning signs.
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finally finished perez's wonder woman run, have a lotta feelings on it. i love it, first and foremost. perez you could tell was a writer who deeply cared about diana as a character and respected her and her ideals and i love the groundwork he set up that was set to be the basis for the character for a long long time.
diana herself i think was overall really well done, you could feel how much she cares but she also gets to be genuinely powerful and smart when she needs to.
i really like julia and vanessa kapetalis in this run, i love that wonder woman gets a concrete family and essentially base of operations and i like how relatively grounded both the characters were. vanessa sometimes was just a caricature of Every Teen Girl through the lens of an adult man which was funny but by the latter half i was surprised by the shift her character shift being about her mental health and such. julia ofc is just a really grounded, level headed parent figure for diana and it works for diana as her intro to mans world. i know the kapetalis' will be dropped shortly and im not looking forward to that
steve and etta are... pretty boring. i dont have many opinions on them one way or the other im mostly ambivalent to their story and romance but i do at least like them
hermes was one of my favorite characters of the run and i loved his relationship with diana when it wasnt romantic. a major question of the book is essentially "Are dianas gods worthy of her and everything she does for them?" and of course diana and every amazon would answer yes, so imagine my surprise when hermes comes in and says no actually, theyre not, himself included. i like the mutual respect they garner for each other and i especially like how towards the end of it, diana speaks to hermes rather bluntly. instead of in a way of reverence, more in the way of an equal. she questions him and his plans irt the dr psycho arc and he listens to her and complies which while it doesnt sound like a lot, this was someone she worshipped. to see them develop from patron/worshipper to comrades in arms was one of the highlights of the whole run for me. and it helps hes the only olympian consistently willing to stick his neck out for diana.
the amazons and themyscira themselves i overall like buuuut overall wish more was done with them and we explored more of their complexities. i like seeing how diana essentially reflects them and their ideals, how you could see where she learned specific traits from. the question of are the gods worthy of diana is briefly expanded to include the amazons as a whole instead of just diana which makes sense but didnt go far enough. thats a common complaint with perez's themyscira. when heracles was brought back and hippolyte forgives him, i wont necessarily say that was a misstep, i think it works, and i know for a fact george knows of the complexities of this topic, he brings them up more than once through the voice of my favorite of the amazons from the run, Hellene, whos shown to be a naysayer to diana and essentially her philosophical antagonist. shes rarely ever mean about it but she often voices really good opposing points to dianas sentiments. irt heracles, she asks, are they all obligated to forgive their abusers? does this mean men have a free pass to abuse women but be absolved as soon as they apologize? and to me it shows that georges heart was in the right place but its equally frustrating as these questions mostly serve to lampshade the complexities of the topic and just acknowledge them rather than actually explore them. it becomes even more frustrating when hellene herself is killed off screen right before war of the gods. a really interesting character that imo shouldnt have died especially as she filled a really important role among the amazons. the rest of the named amazons are mostly fine i dont have many major issues or opinions on them.
the bana mighdall, however, are a whole different story. an idea of georges that couldve been so so interesting and been a step further into hellene's ideas that instead becomes a vehicle of racist caricature upon racist caricature. the idea of an amazon faction that became disillusioned with the gods and the amazon's secluded ways that they go to mans world to try and enact real change, no matter what, couldve been such a good foil to themyscira as a whole which couldve made both factions incredibly well rounded. instead we get a bunch of gray skinned misandrist barbarians whos main driving force is a lust for blood. i dont wanna rant too much on them or else ill get legitimately angry, all I'll say is the bana deserved better.
as for the series other villains, lets blaze through some first. ares is barely a villain imo, hes more of an origin story and works well as one. eris was a fun villain for that one arc where diana takes a bunch of global representatives to themyscira. decays a cool concept but not much more. dr psycho. cheetahs alright but bordering on very ableist tropes and in general the cheetah isnt often an interesting villain to me. valerie beaudry's silver swan is proooobably my favorite iteration of the villain, both in story and in costume, i think shes so pretty and i wish shed show up more
CIRCE! if you know me, you know circes one of my favorite dc characters ever so seeing her completely in power here was amazing. i love everything about this character. i love her haughty, devillish personality, i love her stupidly convoluted and endlessly cruel plans. i really love her simple green robe design from this run. i love her as a complete opposite of diana in almost every single way. i love her dialog i love her motivations i love every panel shes in i just simply love love love this character and cant wait to see more of her eventually.
overall im so glad i went and started reading this era of wonder woman. i miss george perez every single day im reminded of him and i love him and the work he left in this world. i cant wait to continue the volume and i especially cant wait to eventually reread cassies first appearances
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