#listen i KNOW ill get sick and it wont taste good but why does it look so tasty then huh

[khiove]

the urge to just.. chomp on raw meat and fish in stores is always there. so tempting. why they package it in clear plastic if not for easy access to eat??? why no chomp??? no chew?? why cant i open a pack of pork loins like a bag of chips and just go to town. unfair.

#dragonkin #ive had this urge since i was a kid #its more or less gone down since ive repressed it so much but hmmng #the fish in the freezer looking kind of tasty /j #listen i KNOW ill get sick and it wont taste good but why does it look so tasty then huh #i wish i was one of those ppl who wanna eat rocks cause at least those are like entirely not edible #this shit just makes me look like a cannibal #otherkin

[sockpansy]

Vampire colds

@rudolph-sackville-bagg

Rudolph gets sick, and so does tony.

_______

Vampires can't catch human illnesses. But that doesn't mean they can't get sick.

Rudolph noticed he was getting sick when he found it harder to fly. He told his family and started to stay in his room more often. Of course Tony came to see him when he found out he wasn't out of his room yet even though the sun was down. 

Rudolph laid in his bed- the wardrobe actually, haven't had time to get a bunch of coffins yet- and opened the door to greet him.

" hello, Tony, i'm sick." 

Tony closed the door behind him as he heard and walked closer.

" i didn't know vampires could get sick? Are you going to be ok?" He asked a bit worried.

Rudolph smiled at him, it was so cute that Tony cared for him in his weakened state. He nods curtly.

" yes. Vampire colds aren't that common. We only catch them once every 25 years or so, but they are very contagious to other vampires. I can't fly or even float an inch, and the thought of drinking blood does not help me to feel better. Oh of course i have normal cold symptoms, like a headache and-" he wiggled his nose a bit and sat up a little. Before sneezing four times quickly and laying back down,"-and that." 

Tony nods as he listens to it all, " can i catch it?" 

Rudolph looked at him and hummed. 

" I've never heard of a human with a vampire cold. And vampires can't catch human colds, so I don't see why you would get sick from me." 

Tony smiled down at him, " then that means I can take care of you until you're better!" 

Now that was an idea Rudolph liked. He wouldn't mind being sick forever.

_________

Rudolph was sick for a few nights, but besides the searing headache and sneezing fits he woke up too in the middle of the day, he enjoyed it. 

Since Tony wouldn't get sick, he did what he could to help Rudolph. Since just thinking of drinking blood made Rudolph feel sick he had him try a glass of water, which actually felt really nice to drink at the time. He would also get into the wardrobe with Rudolph and a flashlight, and read old Shakespeare plays to him until he fell asleep so that he could rest. Once he was good enough to fly, Rudolph took Tony on a nice long flight as thank you. 

A week passed by like normal, the clan had stayed away from him and his parents and siblings had no signs of being sick, but it seemed like someone else had caught his cold. 

Tony had been showing Rudolph how to play a video game, and explaining that no. The squid people are not real and are not trapped inside, when he sneezed. 

And started to float a foot off the couch without help from Rudolph.

After a lot of screaming and confusion from both sides, and Frederick and freda coming to figure out what was wrong, they decided that tony had caught rudolph's cold. 

" But I thought humans couldn't catch vampire colds!" He turned upside down. He is used to flying with Rudolph, he did not have the practice on his own. Rudolph grabbed his foot and straightened him in the air.

Frederick shrugged, " we have never been close enough to a human to find out. We have never caught a human cold, it was fair to assume that you would not catch one of ours." 

" but it does appear that the side effects are reversed." Freda added.

Tony held onto rudolph' s shoulder to keep himself from floating too far away," wait so you're saying...i'm going to technically be a vampire until i'm better?" 

Freda hummed, " Well i suppose that is one way to look at it, yes. A honorary vampire with the sniffles." 

Tony grinned and threw his hands in the air, "cool! Woah!-" 

Rudolph grabbed Tony' s leg again as he started to float off.

" since it was my cold that got him sick, I'll take care of him so that no one else gets it." He promised. It totally wasn't mostly an excuse to spend more time alone with Tony, now with the added benefit of him being the only one allowed around him until he was better. Totally not.

_________

Tony being sick sounded a lot better yesterday than it did today.

Yes. Rudolph did get to have his alone time with Tony, but there did seem to be downsides. 

For one, Tony did in fact get the horrible headaches, and they could appear out of nowhere and ruin whatever small mood he had going on. Plus Tony would hold his head and roll into a ball when he got them which made it harder to teach him to fly.

Next, was when tony got the hang of flying. It was funny at first. Watching him float around oddly, and watching him hit the ground with anything but his feet when he did figure out how to get onto solid ground again, But when he figured out how to fly all by himself without Rudolph's help? 

It was horrible.

Tony had flown out the window and straight up, all by himself, as fast as he could, and Rudolph had to chase after him. Tony wasn't nearly as fast as Rudolph, and he was easy to catch, yet with Tony having control over his flight, Rudolph had no excuse to hold his hand now. 

Reason number three is just that. Tony flying by himself means no more hand holding. 

The fourth reason was the sun. Tony, out of habit, had gone up to the curtains to close them once the sun came out. Only to jump back in pain holding his arm. Rudolph had been careful to stay in the shaded areas and fly over to check him. He wasn't burnt but he was a little pink where the sun hit. It was like he got a quick sunburn. He has to be careful to close the curtains now too.

There were positives to this all though.  When tony wasn't zipping around or curled up in headache pain. Or sneezing, he was pretty much attached to Rudolphs side. Asking him all sorts of questions.

" How old were you when you learned to fly? Was it this hard or was it a lot easier since you weren't sick?" 

" do you know why vampires get colds?" 

" do you think this will turn me into a vampire forever?" 

That last question made rudolph stop and think, 

" no, i don't think it will. Being sick doe3snt last forever, and to turn you I would need to bite you. At least I'm pretty sure just getting sick wont turn you...we don't really go out and test these things all that much." He admitted. 

Tony leaned on his shoulder and nods his head a bit, " yeah that makes sense...you will turn me into a real vampire one day right?" He asked, starting to fall asleep.

Rudolph let the thought run in his head. Tony being a vampire would be...the best thing in the world to him. Not only could they spend eternity together, but they could live and stay together in the clan. There was also the benefit of him turning tony himself, getting to taste his blood and being the only one who gets too, along with being the one to give him the gift of the night.

" one day, I would like to. Just not so soon." He smiled and pet his head as he fell asleep against him.

The next few days passed by like this, Rudolph having to babysit Tony more than anything else, until one day he was having trouble staying off the ground. The day after his cold was gone.

The boys sat on the window sill together looking at the stars. Tony sighed.

" I do miss being able to fly," he looked at Rudolph and smiled, holding out his hand. ," but flying with you is always more fun." 

Rudolph smiled at him and took his hand ," then let me show you the stars, since you are feeling better then."

 And with that, everything was back to before, the two boys flying into the night.

#the little vampire 2017 #rudony #tony thompson #rudolph sackville bagg

[citialiin]

FIVE SONGS

list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.

TAGGED BY: @dansiere​​, who did such a good detailed job they even included an “honorable mentions list” ? i am embarrassed to type mine out now TAGGING: @blossomingbeelzebug​​ @zhrets​​ @dirtyfilthysunshine​​ @prcphesise​​ @hyakiru​ @foxcharmed​

01. kaun komsott - ros sereysothea

this song actually lyrically has absolutely nothing to do with ziggy !!!!  kaun komsott /  កូនកំសត់ actually just means “poor/pitiful child” it’s just a khmer dub of a song from a taiwanese movie lol but i feel like this is the kind of music he would listen to that made him fall in love with, like ... humanity, as dumb as that sounds. it’s time period appropriate (late 60s/early to mid 70s), the song is really good and it’s SO emotional.  i could see him sitting in the apartment of his bandmates after being “found” and they teach him how to use the record player and he sits there going through each and every record they have and listening to this and its like the fucking scene in ratatootie where the goddamn rat can visualize tastes as colors but he would be so enamored with the song he would see it in colors or something i dunno.  something has definitely fucking happened to my brain because ever since nat and alex and i rewatched ratatootie we keep referencing it for our characters. anyways i ended up using an instrumental of kaun komsott in the final film i made as the song that plays during the end.  so this song just also means a lot to me because it’s part of how i made this character and the film/story i animated to go along with him, i am sure you are all absolutely sick of hearing me talk about it <3  

02. who can i be now - daveed booweyywywy now you found me, now can I be real?  can I be real? if it’s all a vast creation / putting on a face that’s new someone has to see / a role for him and me someone might as well be you

one of z’s most obvious character motifs is figuring out self identity through adopting different guises.  he markets himself as being so overly confident and almost arrogantly certain of himself -- rock god space idol whatever -- as his own way of learning who he thinks he might be underneath it all.  i think at first it started off a little innocuous, a ‘ fake it till u make it ’ thing at the least and maybe more obviously a ‘ im not a human so i have to pretend to be someone else ’ deal, but over time it became almost all consuming and just obliterated all his previously held sense of self in favor of some weirdly demented version of who he wanted to be.  683 starts off with the same core personality traits as ziggy: maybe he’s a little vain, a little selfish, but he’s very interested in creativity/self-expression and he wants to be thought of as a unique individual and appreciated for his differences.  but the difference is that 683 isnt an arrogant asshole who has no regard for other people in the slightest.  so yeah ... who can u be now ... is it worth it to adopt a different guise or should he go through the effort of figuring out what parts of his personality were corroded by human influence and what parts are genuinely him?  my big endgame thoughts for his story would be that he eventually just decides to retire from the public eye and fucks off entirely.  this would be over the course of a long long long time -- maybe he has a good 20 yr run in the industry -- but there are some things about him he has to deal with (mental health issues, drug addiction, also the fact that you’re a freaky alien creature who doesnt age like a human so you’re physically like 46 and you still look like you’re 25?) so he inevitably decides he doesnt need the horrible pressure of fame and he ought to just live his life for himself.  i think this would be a nice final song for him to sing/perform -- then he goes into the dressing room and cuts his hair and just vanishes. bye.

03. sunny afternoon - the kinks Help me, help me, help me sail away Well give me two good reasons why I oughta stay 'Cause I love to live so pleasantly Live this life of luxury Lazing on a sunny afternoon

1. i think this would sound A LITTLE like the kind of music he would write/play albeit i feel like his would be more exciting and have more samplings of like laser noises or pewpewpew or weird spaceship sounds BUT.  its also pretty time period appropriate.  even in “modern” verses ziggy is inexplicably obsessed with the 1970s, he likes bell bottoms and thinks groovy patterns are neat and he owns too many lava lamps.  anywayz. 2. just the general idea of feeling unfulfilled with luxury -- even if ziggy enjoys his fame and wealth and the absolutely insane amount of pussy/dick he gets at some level he is still cognizantly aware of how weirdly empty he feels.  he ditched atomina and came here because he felt unfulfilled and bored and unwanted.  now he feels wanted (clearly, everyone loves him) and he feels entertained (earth is So Good at fun distractions) but his fulfillment still isnt quite there.  he’s getting there -- but in exchange of being able to live this life of fame, he’s had to kind of change everything about himself and live this almost caricature version of himself, and he knows he cant keep it up forever.  the luxury will run out one day and he’ll be a washup and no one cares about celebrities once they stop being hip.  it is literally only a matter of time before ziggy has to find out who he is because no one can be a “rockstar” forever.

04. i hate jimmy page - mindless self indulgence SUCKAS CAN REACH OUT TOUCH ME EAT ME BITE DA FUTURE & FUCK DA PAST  I'm lower than most animals and fear what might be weird and all those voices in my head have every right to be there i ain't a girl just cause i rock the boat i ain't a boy just cause i rock your world

i mean he does hate jimmy page but that’s beside the point. its just a good song about being a crazy rockstar and has the same Craziness that i feel like accompanies his character ... just go listen to it you will understand. there is nothing to explain here.  even the lyric “ill show u how official midgets jack me off” like just accept it. it’s whatever  but yeah i aint a girl i aint a boy ... i guess his gender (or lack thereof) never really comes up in rp but its still an important part of his character.  if any of u guys ever call him a man in prose again ill kick ur ass.  gender is like an accessory to him and he just takes whatever aspects of masculinity/femininity he prefers and discards everything else.  to him he’s just as much a “man” or a “woman” as he is a “human” which is to say he isnt, at all, and he just pretends to be because he feels obligated to.  also ziggy’s brain kind of sounds like this...just Noises.  his brain sounds like a microwave that’s been going off for 26 years.  i think his brain is a single uncooked pinto bean rolled in glitter that’s been left in a box with a cobweb

05. ghostride - crumb daydreaming I stay in the backseat / the slow beat rocks me back to sleep keeps me on automatic  press my face up close against the glass i see the people when they pass they move so automatic you wake up when I go down / the radio reminds me I'm alive we've been hearing it all night

i care more about 683 on atomina than i do about ziggy on earth sometimes (BUT I CARE THEM BOTH. DO U?) so ... 683 feeling aimless and drifting but trying to find purpose through passion, a person, some sort of concrete meaning -- going through the motions of life makes him feel empty he spends almost every day going through the same toil while feeling guilty or like a burden and also feeling like he’s ultimately nothing more than a replaceable cog in a machine. his species had a near extinction = bottleneck which made them so genetically similar they’re almost clones of each other.  no one ever seems to do anything wrong except him, he finds no joy or fulfillment in anything at all.  all he ever wanted (which isnt a selfish desire at all) was to feel purpose, or feel wanted, or appreciated. inevitably he leaves because of his own imagination -- he yearns for something More, and he doesn’t know What, so he figured he ought to at least Try instead of waste his life away. also atomina is supposed to sound like “automatic.”  do NOT make fun of my bad scifi.  i am trying to mimic the way 1970s scifi is endearingly cheesy.  come here.  i just want to touch you with this knife.  gently tho it wont go inside of you. bro you are bleeding. bro we are bleeding and i keep putting the knife in your soft parts.

#once again under the cut because i cant do memes without making them essays dawg! #i just have Things to say about zippy #also thank you so much for tagging me ... i know i take 200 years to do memes but i love them u_u #i did a meme like this earlier so i picked a new set of songs #KEEP YOUR 'LECTRIC EYE ON ME ; queue

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: [St Patrick's Day 2016] Joe: Ron Joe: Come back, I ain't going 'til tomorrow Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: go now what the fuck does it matter Joe: It matters to me Joe: every fucking second away does and I don't care if you know it Ronnie: then dont Joe: I missed Christmas, they don't care that I bullshitted I had the flu Joe: had to do everything to stop them flying over to get me, and it was my sister's 16th so they're all on one about how long it's been Ronnie: and I dont care if they believe your bullshit or not Ronnie: I care that youre a useless cunt Ronnie: I care that youre being a fucking pussy Joe: I know you do Joe: I'm sorry or I didn't ask you to, the end result is the same 'cos I can't fucking not go, s'been months, any longer they will do something about it and fuck that Ronnie: get out of my fucking face mckenna Ronnie: youre not worth shit to me like this Joe: I don't want to and you didn't want me to five seconds 'fore you slammed the door in my face so Ronnie: give a shit what you want Ronnie: grow a pair while youre there or dont bother coming back like Joe: that's what you want, yeah? Ronnie: like you care Ronnie: go ask your ma what she wants Ronnie: or your sister Ronnie: shes legal to fuck now what do you need me for Joe: I want to make you happy, not them Ronnie: I told you what to fucking do Joe: I reckon I've got a better idea Ronnie: are you gonna say it Joe: come with me Ronnie: thats not funny Joe: I'm not trying to be Ronnie: it better be a fucking joke Joe: why not? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you know every reason why not Joe: so it wouldn't make you even a bit happy to fuck her family up Joe: say you don't care but you do enough to hate her Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: I hate you Joe: go on then, do it and I won't be able to go back Joe: then you can chuck me if you hate me so much and I'll have nothing but another bad habit Ronnie: I aint the kind of sister to fight your battles for you Joe: now who's being pussy Joe: I'm ready to do it Joe: tell them everything Joe: show 'em Joe: what's the issue Ronnie: still you Ronnie: thats the issue Ronnie: you think you want it til I start it Joe: Name one thing you've started that I ain't wanted Ronnie: there aint a name for this Ronnie: you dont get it Ronnie: and youre not ready for it Joe: fuck that Joe: I don't love them I love you Joe: don't get involved then, I'm trying to give you something here Joe: but if I stop going, then they'll come, and it'll just happen here Ronnie: youre trying to give yourself something Ronnie: but I aint no performing monkey and you cant put me back in my box when you start shitting yourself Ronnie: there wont be one Ronnie: there wont be fuck all left Joe: Good Joe: what about me says that I want anything Joe: there's always heroin Ronnie: you want me to get arrested then yeah Ronnie: get rid of me like that Joe: I won't let that happen Joe: I'd take the blame before it did Ronnie: youre not listening Ronnie: you wont have any control Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: not over me Joe: I don't need any Joe: I don't want to control you Joe: I want you to do exactly what you want Joe: to me, to them, to the fucking world, that's what I always want Joe: you don't have to come, I thought you wanted to, wanted this Ronnie: stop flirting with me you sick fuck Ronnie: I cant think Joe: it's gone beyond flirting Joe: you've got 'til tomorrow to think Joe: come back Joe: please Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do Ronnie: or not do Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: I'm just saying if you don't come then I'll do it on my own Joe: that's just how it is Joe: I don't wanna do it no more, go back, not be here, with you Joe: pretend, more than I have to Ronnie: like fuck are you doing it without me Ronnie: the look on her face thats mine not yours Ronnie: a life for a life Joe: then it's settled Joe: come back though, I know Charlie and Bronson have got fuck all decent in to calm you down Ronnie: theyve got fuck all of anything now like Ronnie: having it in me already is the only reason youre getting words off me instead of a boot in your face Joe: gutted Joe: just for them, before you accuse me of flirting with you again Ronnie: yeah didnt reckon youd follow through on that Joe: if you'd come home I could give you everything you want Joe: close enough that it don't matter no more Ronnie: if I make it that easy neither of us will want it Ronnie: stop fucking crying Joe: what did they have then, make me cry some more with a trip report Ronnie: nursery school shit Ronnie: talk to me about this show and tell you wanna put on Joe: so my dad owns this pub, yeah Joe: st paddy's obviously best day and night of the year for business Joe: it'll be packed Ronnie: no shit Joe: do more damage if there's a crowd to hear and see Ronnie: then what Joe: depends Joe: loads of ways you could do it Joe: it's pretty obvious on both counts what we're trying to say together Joe: leave the rest up to you Ronnie: I know what I'm gonna do Ronnie: I don't trust you to pussy out first chance you get Ronnie: not* Joe: tell me Ronnie: I dont do foreplay Ronnie: fuck alls changed that much since I walked out Joe: alright Joe: could accuse you of being a tease about it but I can wait Ronnie: all those pint glasses on offer are the tease when you know how I feel about glass Ronnie: better lover than you Joe: won't take it personal Joe: made you look this good and I get to look so Ronnie: it only matters that you do take it baby Joe: whatever you give me Joe: and obviously, all this Joe: [drug haul!] Joe: i need to be comatose with you Ronnie: you shouldve started with the offer of that threesome Ronnie: Id be back ages ago Joe: if I made it that easy.. Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: alright, come get yours Joe: hurry up Joe: she's staring at me Ronnie: Im not your bitch Ronnie: Ill be there when im done ✂🪒 Joe: you wanna give them something to remember you by? Ronnie: theyll remember Joe: you gonna bleed for me too though Ronnie: im only doing my hair Ronnie: fuck all else is as fun without an audience Ronnie: dont get excited Joe: awh, you do care Ronnie: do you want me to cut your tongue out so you dont sound as rem as you look tomorrow Ronnie: care about that Joe: ✋🤚 long as you leave all ten relatively unscathed Ronnie: gotta leave myself something Ronnie: youre a shit enough ride already Ronnie: do I sound 🍀 now Joe: exactly like my exes Joe: well about it Ronnie: dont go round saying you were a virgin Ronnie: *nt Ronnie: more embarrassing Joe: oh, reckoned part of your big show was saying you deflowered me Joe: they're gonna be horrified enough though Ronnie: theyd believe it if you wanna go that far with the show Joe: don't reckon that's your plan Joe: but an interesting one Joe: I'll 🤔 on it Ronnie: your ma dont turn me on but neither do you so Id give it a shot Ronnie: reckon youll be horny enough for all of us Joe: the shit will have worn off by then, don't remind me Ronnie: how longs the flight? Joe: hour and a half, bit under Ronnie: 💔 Joe: I know Joe: long enough that all the mile-high cliches are gonna flood right back in Joe: more of a flight risk, should let me have my drugs instead Ronnie: no batteries no sharp objects no point Joe: you're hard to please, my dear Joe: and well selective Joe: the air hostesses, less so if they're even gonna consider it Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you want me to tell 'em you're coming or element of surprise Joe: what's your poison Ronnie: long as it eats away at her I dont give a shit Ronnie: tell em Ronnie: how excited I am Joe: 👍 Joe: on it Ronnie: lay it on well thick Ronnie: make sure theyve all got the taste in their mouths Joe: I know how to breed hope Joe: look at my shining education and musical genius Ronnie: almost hot til you ruined it Joe: one day I'll get you Ronnie: chuck your empty promises at that lot Joe: not the point no more Joe: don't just need my ✋🤚 for you Joe: string for my supper 'til I choke, that's the plan 🎻💉 Joe: can put my diploma on their wall if they want but give a fuck Ronnie: use it for roll ups Ronnie: like a hotel bible Joe: you're really gonna be that hot and not be here Joe: sounds like you Ronnie: it only gets hot when you start thinking about what poison youre gonna lace the 🚬 with Joe: you ever smoked wet? Ronnie: you wanna pop my 🍒 Joe: yeah Joe: only fair Ronnie: who plays fair Joe: hallucinations, disorientation, impaired coordination, paranoia, sexual disinhibition, and visual disturbances Joe: don't play 'cos it's fair, play 'cos it's fun Ronnie: alright you got me Joe: say again Joe: I can get that over there Joe: can smoke some 'fore the show Ronnie: sexual disinhibition Ronnie: thas the show you want Ronnie: I called it Joe: sue me Joe: or worse, obviously 🔪😍 Ronnie: 💉 Ronnie: Ill play and Im leaving Ronnie: dont start todays show without me Joe: you don't have enough hair to be taking this long Ronnie: I was using a broken mirror Joe: Charlie'll be fuming Ronnie: so was I when I broke it Joe: got all the shards out? Ronnie: not my first time Ronnie: youre getting 🍒 greedy now Joe: could've distracted me from the bag with a video or something Joe: you're being selfish, alternative title Ronnie: [sends him something only theyd be into, lord knows] Ronnie: take what youre given and lick it up Ronnie: im not a fucking charity Joe: 👅 Ronnie: ill bring you a shard to put on it the fun can really start Joe: 💘 Ronnie: you can fuck off calling me selfish like Joe: I'll take it back when I feel it Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: you will Joe: you still hate me, like Ronnie: only fair baby Joe: of course Joe: what kind of sick fuck Ronnie: theyll be lining up to tell you tomorrow Joe: might be worth sticking around for Joe: shame, they would make it fun when I'm trying to leave Ronnie: the lads mustve got that memo Ronnie: nothing more fun than a street fight Ronnie: gimme a sec to knock em out Joe: playing nice better or worse than playing fair Ronnie: you tell me soft lad Ronnie: youve had it up to the back teeth Joe: definitely worse Joe: fair was never a big concern with them but less soul-destroying Ronnie: ill rip mine all out before I use em to smile nice Ronnie: playing the way anyone else wants aint a big concern Joe: 🦷🦷 more useful than 👅 Ronnie: dont cry I wont I know what you like Joe: what did I do to deserve you eh Ronnie: you dont Joe: very true Ronnie: but your fucked family deserve me and ill let you watch Joe: suits me Ronnie: yeah you get everything you want Ronnie: this aint any different Joe: got a load of shit I don't want too, that makes up for it Ronnie: not gonna watch you cry fuck joining in Joe: just be here then Ronnie: im coming Joe: shouldn't have gone in the first place Ronnie: thats your fucking fault Joe: yeah Joe: but don't leave me Ronnie: if I wanted you gone Id kill you Joe: you're so considerate Joe: any time Ronnie: you aint getting out of tomorrow Ronnie: ill strap your rotting corpse into a plane seat before I go on my fucking own Joe: I want to be there Joe: and I wouldn't make you go alone either way Ronnie: mckenna Joe: what Ronnie: dont fuck it up Joe: that's your role Joe: is there anything you actually want me to do or just watch Ronnie: stay out of my way Joe: done Ronnie: 💘

[hellolittleogre]

Dusting off the archives

Since I like a lot of other fanfic writers are spending this time aggressively staring at different WIPs and NOT WRITING I thought I would dust off various WIPs which have stalled through the years. These are to a large extent morgue files, they will probably never be finished fic. I thought I’d share what I have written, plus synopsis or outline if I have it. I feel like they are like rings in the core of a glacier and different trends and tropes can be read in them. Some of them are also incredibly embarrassing.

Under the Cut: Avengers kid fic

Fandom: The Avengers

Paring: Clint Barton/ Phil Coulson 

Working Title: Uhhhhh.....Superspy Daddies  (not brilliant I admit)

Year written: 2012 (god help us all)

Synopsis: Clint meets Tasha when she ‘s a wee spy child and decides to adopt her. After a few years on the run they are caught up by SHIELD and recruited. There is something mysterious going on and they are assigned an alias as a family, with two dads and Natasha. Enter spy shenanigans and fake marriage and falling in love. Yay! Everything is safe and nothing hurts.

                                                       **

Natasha was seven when she met Clint. She can still remember the impact when she hit him, how she had launched herself into his body and sent them both tumbling.  They had ended up on the floor. Natasha with her knife to his throat and Clint with an arrow in his hand the point just pressing against her ribs.

It should have been easy, a clean-cut job of getting into the house, making the target and getting out again but something had been wrong, men positioned in places they shouldn’t and suddenly hostiles everywhere and a blond man with a bow taking out people with unerring accuracy.

She remembers the surprise in his face, how open it was.

“But you are just a child,” he had said in astonished and slightly accented Russian. It made her want to smile because she hadn’t been a child for a long time now.

“I am Black Widow,” she said simply, when she had planned to say nothing at all. The man stared at her.

“Ok, so, I’m going to lower my hand now, nice and easy, like this yeah?” The arrow was slowly removed from her ribs. “We have about ten minutes before my backup gets here so listen. You can kill me and go on doing what you are doing or I can get you out of here, somewhere safe and you can either come with me or go your way, but you don’t have to do this anymore.”

He is, possibly, the first person she can remember who has offered her something without asking anything of her. The idea intrigued her, that somebody could do something for you without wanting anything in return, that there could be actions without purpose or gain.

“You are not a pervert, are you?” She knows about those, they are easy, all soft words and soft hands right up to the point where they are not but then usually it is already too late. He actually laughed at that, a soft huff of air as if she had said something honestly funny.

“No, no perverts here m’am. Nobody but us chickens.” She does not understand that, it had been nobody but them and maybe a handful of dead men, no chickens at all. She frowns at him.

He sighed. “I’m Clint.”

She thought about it, the sharp edge of her knife resting against his throat, but. He has offered to do something for her without asking anything in return. He could have killed her but he didn’t. And he doesn’t want her to kill anyone, he doesn’t seem to want her to do anything. Maybe she can trust him.

“I’m Black Widow,” she says again. She doesn’t have to trust him much, or for long.

In the end they had gotten out through the air ducts. Crawled out a couple of yards behind the perimeter and Clint had then calmly walked her through the tail end of the increasingly panicked ranks of the mission, even snagging his own jacket and bow case from the back of a van. He had draped the jacked around her shoulders and pushed her lightly in the back. “Just keep your head down and walk, nice and easy.”

Natasha had to admire the audacity of it, she is not sure anymore but she believes at one point he even nodded to somebody he knew before getting her into the night. Quietly slipping away.

They go through Europe first, down through Ukraine and Romania to Serbia, Croatia and finally Italy. Clint makes Natasha cut her hair in the bathroom of a gas station. Says that maybe a man and a young boy might draw less attention. Hands her the scissors with an: I ain’t going to touch you, kiddo and closes the door. Her hair is now short and jagged and fiery red and she likes it. It takes her three months before she finally tells Clint her name is actually Natalia Romanova and he grins at her, delighted. “I’m Hawkeye,” he says.

Slowly as Natalia learns to trust him she tells Clint about the Red Room. She has a hard time remembering anything before that but she remembers training, learning and the experiments. 

They had been together for nearly a month when Clint accidentally cuts himself. Its straight across his palm and deep and painful as fuck.  Clint tries to stem the blood flow with a shirt and cursing under his breath. Natasha is strangely unperturbed, as if she can’t understand why he is making a fuss.

“Its not so bad, you just put band aid on it and it’s gone in the morning,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. Clint takes it that she meant, it will be gone in a sort of, it will still be there but at least it wont bother you fashion. As it turns out she means it quite literally.

The next night as they make camp she gives his bandage a suspicious look but says nothing. Clint is cleaning the wound with some water heated on the fire, it stings like a bitch but looks like it will heal nicely, looking up he sees Natasha across the fire, her face is white and her eyes are like saucers. Then she is by his side, prodding and poking at his hand with ungentle fingers.

“You are still hurt, why are you still hurt, why hasn’t it healed? Are you ill, what is wrong with you?” She is as animated as he has ever seen her, shaken up and honestly confused and terrified. It takes a while to calm her down to explain that when ordinary people get hurt it takes weeks and weeks for them to heal, and this is normal and it doesn’t mean that Clint is sick or dying. It is perhaps the first time Natasha lets on that she really cares. It is also the point when Clint realises how truly different she is, and the extent of those experiments. She takes out his knife and makes a shallow cut across the back of her hand and lets him watch as it fades into pink nothingness in a couple of hours.

In Croatia, Dubrovnik, Clint takes her to the beach, all blue water and fishing boats bobbing on the waves. It's the first time she has seen the sea. The water is so clear you can make out all the little fishes darting after each other along the shallows. After only half a day in the sun her skin was so burnt her back broke out in blisters and the heatstroke made her throw up on the bus back to the room they’re renting. Clint pets her hair and nods to the large woman across the aisle, who has been making sympathetic noises and has given them a plastic bag.

“Red hair, can’t stand the sun, any of them. Her mother was just the same, God rest her soul, always so sensitive.” The woman clucks in distress and finds a cough sweet in the horrifying depths of her handbag. Natalia swears she can still feel the taste of it in her nose even after she has thrown up twice.

 All she could do was lie on her stomach in their tiny room with an ice clamp wrapped in a wet towel on her back. She doesn’t cry in pain but she considers it, the possibility. There would be nobody here to punish her for it now. Cling gave her purple and yellow ice lollies, the first she’s ever had, until her mouth was skinned and raw from them. She peels afterwards and sits in the bathroom and gets Clint to peel strips of skin off her back showing her the longest ones. 

“This is so gross,” he tells her after he’s managed to peel a strip of skin all the way from her shoulder down to the small of her back. The new skin underneath the flaking was pink and tender and dotted with tiny freckles. It’s the closest to fun she has had in years.

Clint has never taken care of anyone in his life, not himself and much less anyone else. Things such as regular meals, bedtimes and food which is not pizza is pretty much new and foreign country to him.  It took him about a year to figure out that Natalia needed to go to school, because he could teach her English just fine (except maybe not words like corium and discombobulate) and some maths, as long as it had to do with geometry and seriously, he has been briefed on so many cities that they are probably good for geography for a while, but the rest of it? He has no idea. 

They stayed in Naples for six months, long enough for Clint to work out a way to get into the US and for Natalia to lose her accented English and learn a quite impressive smattering of Italian. Then, they are found. The same car stands parked on their street three days in a row, inconspicuously nestled under a great chestnut tree and Clint calmly tells Natasha to grab the overnight bag in the hall and they walk past is slowly and calmly, looking straight ahead like they were just heading for the park to enjoy the afternoon sunshine. The agents are Russian and in the end it turns ugly, they barely get away and leave corpses on their trail. They get on a plane to America a month ahead of schedule and it is a far too narrow escape. It’s only after this, after their narrow escape to relative safety that Natalia begins to have nightmares.

“Clint?”

“Yeah”

“Can you tell me a story?”

This is the third time the same night Natasha has woken from nightmares and Clint has resigned to sleeping on the floor by her bed instead of going back to his own. He has a lumpy pillow wedged under his head (in fact, he suspects it to be Natasha’s stuffed bear, Phillipov).

“A story, what about?”

There is a silence; it is long enough that he would have suspected that she had dropped off but for her calculated breathing. She is thinking about something, not sure how to phrase it.

“Angela has stories,” she says at last. Angela is Tasha’s friend from school, one of the few she has made. “I mean, her mom tells her stories about her, when she was little, what she said, when she was bad, you know. Could you, could you tell a story about me? When I was little?”

And Clint opens his mouth to say he can’t do that, he never knew her when she was little and lived in a facility where they trained her and filled her blood with god only knows what and then realises that’s not the point. Natasha knows this, but she wants a story. Not a lie, a story, about herself, when she was little, what she might have done. Clint exhales deeply and tries to think.

“Do you remember when we lived in Italy, in Naples? In that tiny apartment and your roll out bed?  Well, a couple of years before that we lived for a while in Rome, but you were so little, only four, you can’t possibly remember. We lived, you and me then, in this small apartment outside of Rome. The kitchen was tiny, but it had this huge fridge-freezer unit, this monster from the fifties in avocado green with a door thick like the safe to a bank vault and the freezer on top of it. It was like a fridge for a large Italian family with a grandma and a fat uncle with a moustache and not just for the two of us. Now it was summer and that apartment was always hot and you wanted gelato but I wouldn’t give you any because it was just before dinner and you couldn’t reach the freezer by yourself. So you had this trick of wedging a kitchen chair against the fridge, on its back legs and then climb up onto the back of the chair so you could open the freezer.”

Clint could actually see it before him, this small, determined version of Natasha, dragging the chair across the room and her bare feet soft against the linoleum floor.

“It used to make me so mad, y’know. You could fall down and split your skull, knock your teeth out, anything. And I caught you this one time, balanced on the chair with your head in the freezer and I got so mad and I yelled at you, and I said: You are driving me nuts, you’ve got to stop doing this. Do you want me to go crazy?”

And you said, without even looking away from the ice cream box: I don’t want you to go crazy. I want ice cream.”

There is silence and then Natasha laughs, it’s just a puff of amusement, there and gone again but its genuine. After a while he reaches up a hand and feels Nat stick her little paw in his. It is soft and slightly sticky, squeezing around his for a moment before she settles down.

“That’s a good story,” she says sleepily and after a while she falls asleep.  Clint is not so lucky but at least there are no more nightmares for tonight. After this she wants a lot of them, Clint tells her about fishing trips, about that time in the Natural History Museum when she thought she was lost in the room with all the gorillas, when Clint was standing right  next to her all the time.

Clint sweats the whole ten hour flight to America. Tasha curls up in her seat and pretends to sleep the whole way, the air hostess giving her a colouring book and nearly subconsciously petting her hair. There is just something about the short curls that people seem helpless to resist.

In the end it is only bad luck that Shield found them. A lot of bad luck at the same time but only chance in the end. Anyway that’s what Clint claims, Agent Coulson maintains that luck had nothing to do with it and it was the result of several years of hard work on his part and if anything it was lucky that Shield found them first and not the Russians. 

They have been living in the US for years now, slowly drifting across the north and the mid west, Clint picking up work where he can find it. They always have emergency bags packed but it was a while since they’ve had to use them. 

It was nearly five years since Clint found Natasha, or she found him, four years of Clint jumping from job to job and Nat from school to school but lately the time between moves become longer and longer. Clint had a job he actually likes, working as a bit of everything in a school for deaf kids. Natasha has friends to sit with her at the lunch table, has started playing soccer, and it turns out she is menace on the grass. They feel safe, five years have gone by and nothing has been seen or heard and maybe it has made them complacent. Maybe its just nice to belong somewhere. Tasha has friends on her soccer team and comes home grass stained and happy. She’s hit a growth spurt and reminds Clint of a foal with long gangly limbs.

It starts with a parent teacher visit, just a stupid mistake. It's Tasha’s homeroom teacher who gives Clint a considering look and remarks that he looks a bit young to have a daughter her age. And that’s all it takes to get the ball rolling, somebody looking just a little extra at the adoption papers and suddenly there is a social worker outside the door. Clint and Tasha are professional liars and it comes to nothing in the end but the notice is already logged into the system, leaving a minute paper trail for people who know where to look. And then Clint had gotten ill with the flu, enough to just not pay attention the nondescript car parked on their street for two days in a row. They are unprepared for it when Clint, kept awake by coughing, spots the stealthy movement on the street and there is no time, no time for anything other than getting out. The rain is pouring down and Tasha is still in her pyjamas, shoes held in one hand. As it turns out the location of their backup storage is compromised and Clint barely makes it out with one bag, containing a change for Natasha and barely enough cash to make it out of town. They don’t try to go to the second one, where Clint’s bow and arrows are stored. It hurts, that bow is as much a part of Clint as his arm, but if it is undetected they can come back for it and if it has been found it is not worth trying to get it back.  They make their way north on foot and hitchhike, avoiding gas stations and bus stops, suddenly nothing feels safe anymore, everywhere is strange and threatening. Clint’s flu had gotten worse and developed into a deep rattling cough that won’t let go and claws at his chest with dull teeth. There was no time to rest and the constant chill of their travel had made it into pneumonia.

They end up in a motel, where everything within the range of the little electric heater is stuffy and fever-hot and everything outside of it cold and damp. Clint lies propped up on the two slim pillows, Natasha is sitting at the foot of the bed, cleaning out her gear, her face cool and efficient. They both know Clint can’t go much further without rest and proper care, they both know they can't turn to a hospital and there is not enough money for any under the table dealings, even if they had the contacts in this part of the country.

It's only logical that she should go on alone, she has a much better chance to get away. How she is going to make it in the long run neither of them mentions.

“You have a quarter?” she asks “I just wanted something from the vending machine.”

Clint nods towards his bags and when she comes back she packs everything in her bag neatly, all her gear cleaned, three knives on her, one in her sleeve, one in her shoe and one at the small of her back. She puts the blankets over Clint. Go to sleep, she tells him. When he wakes up Tasha is curled up next to him and Shield breaks down the door.

They are being debriefed by Hill and Coulson, and a team of junior agents, even Fury is there, scowling behind the eye patch. Howard and Tony Stark is their target, it is just a scouting mission, there has been some untoward suspected HYDRA activity in Stark Industries.

The pale manila folder lands with a dull sound in front of Clint. It contains, in addition to information on the targets, the cover stories for the job.  Natasha squints down at the pages.

“I will be Clint’s adopted daughter and we are living with his brother, my uncle Phil?” Coulson, first name Agent, inclines his head slightly.

 “We felt it was best your handler was with you on site,” he says mildly.

Natasha gives him a slanted eyebrow of disbelief and snorts into her folder “yah, because a grown single man living with his brother and a young girl is not weird, at all,” she says in Russian and rolls her eyes at Clint. He tries not to laugh and hopes not too many at the table can understand. Judging by the twitch in Fury’s eye, he should be so lucky.

Just before the elevator closes Hill shows up and smacks a new folder into his chest.

“Your updated covers,” she explains, “ as I understood there were complaints about the last ones.” She gives Nat a nasty look. Clint opens the folder and starts scanning the content. There are papers, degrees even, official adoption papers and also…

“Hang on, we are married now? How is that better??”

They arrived back at the house at five in the morning, Clint practically carrying a half asleep Natasha and Phil felt so tired as if he was moving through molasses. He managed to change his clothes and brush his teeth before sitting down on the sofa and completely running out of energy. Mechanically turning on the tv and finding antiques roadshow on and just sitting there with the flickering light over him.

After a while Barton came down and slumped beside him, head leaning back and his eyes closed. 

“She’s brushed her teeth and she’s in bed now, I think actually asleep.  I hope to hell there will be no nightmares because I don’t know if I have the energy to even get out of this couch.”

“I’ll get it,”Phil says even though he feels like his spine has been boiled to the consistency of a wet noodle and all he wants to do is sleep for a week. Clint makes an exhausted noise beside him and slumps back against the couch, after a little while his head tips over onto Phil’s shoulder. He can feel the soft hair against his jaw and neck. Clint’s breath skates moist and warm over his neck and collarbone. It’s the best thing he has felt in ages and parts of him wishes he really could lean over and cover Clint’s mouth with his own and pull him close. Instead he leans back, promising himself it will only be for a second and then he promptly falls asleep.

Clint wakes up with the most awful crick in the neck. He is still on the sofa, squashed onto his side and his face plastered to Phil’s shoulder. He might even have drooled a bit on his t-shirt. At some point during the night they had managed to wedge themselves into the sofa, Phil mostly on his back and Clint, well, mostly on top of him. He tries to move his legs and find them stuck under something. Something turns out to be Nattie, curled up like a ball at the end of the sofa and her head pillowed on what might be Phil’s hip. Everything hurts like a motherfucker. Its not the discomfort that’s woken him though, it was the soft sound of the front door. Peeling his face slowly from Phil’s shoulder he raises his head to find Steve, Tony and Pepper awkwardly standing in the doorway staring at their slightly inappropriate family re-enactment of the Gordian Knot.

“Sorry Mr C,” Pepper says “the door was open.”

He really, really hopes he had the sense to take off the leather suit before he fell asleep last night.

#writing #morgue files #lets celebrate all the dead ends #the avengers #black widow #clint Barton/ Phil coulson #the dialogue is not good you guys #first installment #cleaning up my google docs

[hedgewolf-hunters]

Short story

Gonna give a quick glimpse into the Hedgewolf Family past. Note that this takes place when Bane is about six, Drake and Scarlet are four, and Inferna was recently born.

The old town, greying and falling apart, except for Castle Blackstone, the ancient castle made of a special obsidian like stone with swirling galaxies within the stone. The main barracks which is going through a construction process, as shown by the large plastic tarp spliting a portion of the left most wing from the rest of a modern mansion. And the arena which seems to be in pristine condition, fresh red stones and all the torches around its outer and inner walls lit.

"Bane Wyvern Darkos! Get your tail back here with that ham!" A female voice calls out from the mansion/barrakcs. A five foot tall red dragon comes barreling out the front doors with a half cooked ham in its mouth. It opens its wings and leaps up onto one of the old roof's. Looking back its bright blue eyes sparkle at a group of amber and blue eyes. It smirks as it runs off deeper into town loosing tiles from the roof's.

Once it was a good distance from the house the dragon plopped the ham into its claws before sitting down and beginning to change into a two foot tall hedgewolf. The same red scales are now fur and quills. His horns have become two of his top quills with his devil horn like ears in front of them. Two quills going back normally and his two bottom quills behind his tan cheeks curving downward than back up at his face like rams horns. A small tuft of fur like hair standing up at his forehead. Fingerless gloves getting greasy from the meat and combat boots on his feet. His tail shrinks down from the long lizard tail to that of a wolf. His sky blue eyes shine as he lips his lips looking at the ham. His stomach growling rather loudly for someone of his size.

Bane finally sunk his teeth into the delicious looking ham and took a large chunk out from it. He chewed for a bit with a smile on his face than it went sour slowly as he spit the chunk back out. Instead of the redish pink of the ham in his hands it was now devoid of color and looked like grey matter. Bane growls glaring before he tosses the ham as hard as he can back the way he came.

"Whoa! Nice arm son, i see your weight training and practicing with Hyleia is getting better." A male hedgehog says stepping up next to Bane. His fur is a deep purple with serrated steel looking quills. He wears a black and red gi with a samuri sword at his hip and a pair of tabi on his feet. Bane glances up at the four and a half foot tall hedgehog than goes back to glaring across the abandoned city.

"Somethings the matter. What is it my young child?" The hedgehog asks. Bane huffs and pulls his face into his arms and knees up to his chest gesturing over to the pile of food he spat up. His father Strider looks at the pile confused for a second.

"What about the pile." Strider asks.

"I cant eat or taste anything these past two weeks. I try and it always comes back up, looking like that. Ive barely had anything filling now. Ive been sneaking Aunties protien bars for snacks but they dont do it anymore. I took the ham hoping to get something in my stomach but it just tastes like bile after the first few bites." Bane cries softly into his little enclosed space. His father hums softly to him and rubs his back between the two large spines. He sits there and lets Bane cry out his frustrations.

Half an hour later Bane is passed out sniffling in his sleep. Strider is petting his head as he rests in his fathers lap.

"Strider is he doing any better?" A cherry red four foot tall wolf asks coming up behind them. Her hair like fur is in a mohawk with a braid that reaches her lower back. Shes wearing a sleeveless leather jacket with biker gloves a grey pair of jeans and knee length boots.

"Yes Sky my dear, he hasn't cried this much since he nearly burnt down the house two years ago." Strider says to the wolf. Her sea blue eyes glance down to her eldest son and she kneels down next to her husband leaning against his shoulder. She takes over petting Bane's head as Strider wraps his arm around hers.

"We should call in Doctor Sylvain." Sky says.

"No Sky, you know how i feel about that man. Not to mention our own son has a distaste for him. Besides if worse comes to worse Aura should be able to figure out whats wrong with him after a few potions." Strider says.

"Strider i trust your sister and i dont like him either. But if Bane is sick or worse we need someone who can find out a little sooner than that." Sky says turning her attention to Stirder. He turns to her and his amber eyes glow as the black and white stripes on his quills do. Her own blue stripes under her eyes glow as well. He sighs and kisses her head.

"Fine we call him in the morning. But he does a routine check up and thats it." Strider says resting his head on hers. She smiles and pets his cheek.

"Good now lets get Bane back inside before he catches a cold out here." Sky says getting up. Strider hands the sleepy Bane to her so he can get up. But something odd happens when Bane touches his mothers arms. She has to kneel and hold him at arms length as she quickly runs out of breath and her own color started fading grey.

"That was a odd feeling." Sky panted out. She looks like she had just run several marathons and almost dehydrated. Strider picks up Bane and helps Sky lean on his shoulder.

"Maybe we should have the Doc check you out too. Its been five months since you blessed us with a fourth child but you shouldnt be this drained still." Strider says as they hop down two stories to the ground and walk back to the manor.

The next day Sky is preparing breakfast and seems to be at full strength again. She turns off the six stoves as she plates eggs, bacon, crescent rolls, and fruit slices (for the children). She puts her index and thumb inter her lips and makes a whistle loud enough for everyone to hear over the chaos of a noisey Saturday morning. A female dark purple hedgehog walks in wearing a sports top and shorts. Her quills tied into a pony tail that still reaches her thighs, with a similar stripe pattern Strider. Shes carrying a bottle feeding light pink hedgehog with three short quills snuggled into a bundle.

"Morning Aura, thanks for taking care of Inferna this morning." Sky says setting a plate down for her.

"No problem dear, after all what are sister in laws for." The hedgehog says. Sky smiles and pets her the light pink hedgehog head.

"Have you seen where my other three little pups disappeared too?" Sky asks. Aura shakes her head before both are clanching their teeth as a shreik fills the house. Shortly after a small maroon wolf looking boy with two small quills growing out the sides of his head in socks and fresh gloves runs through a wall laughing as he hides under the table.

"Oh no." Sky groans as a scalret wolf faced hedgehog comes barging into the room through the door.

"Momma! Drake hoked a luge into my hair!" The little girl exclaimed as she showed where the snot covered spit sat in her hair between her jer ears. The purple hedgehog does a spit take and chokes down her food in her mouth to catch her breath.

"Drake why would spit in your sisters hair?!" Sky exclaims as she grabs a napkin and trys cleaning it out her hair.

"Scarlet said she needed some gel to hold it back for practice today. So i thought to give her some." Drake giggles out from under the table. Scarlet glares at her twin under the table.

"Oh lady death give me strength. Drake we told you to stop these pranks so early in the morning. For that your Aunt Aura is training you today." Sky says. Drake rushes out the table and looks up at his mother with puppy eyes. Scarlet is now grinning.

"No Drake, you wont listen the first three times this will be your punishment. You ok with that Aura? Bane is basically doing strentgh and basics today anyway right?" Sky asks. Aura nods and sips some coffee from her cup.

"Yeah a few hundred laps to start should get the point across than some hand to hand for the rest of the day." Aura says.

"Morning ladies, Drake, i see your getting into trouble already. Well have fun with Auntie today. So is Bane up yet?" Strider asks taking a seat. Drake and Scarlet shake their heads making Sky and Strider turn to each other worried. Strider gets up and leaves a purple streak across the dining room running up to the second floor where the rooms are located and stops in front of the door marked with claw marks and Bane carved into a piece of steel. He forces the locked door open and looks down to find a greying Bane curled up on the floor with a small spatter of blood coughed up on the floor. Cursing under his breath he scoops up Bane in his arms and runs downstairs.

"Sky call the doc tell him im coming in now and i have no time to waste." Strider says showing their eldest to her. Sky drops her plate and runs to the kitchen as Strider kicks into high gear and tears through the house and out the front door leaving slight burn marks across the floor.

Five minutes later nearly forty kilometers away in the city Trinitad a fox with a half sliced ear hangs up his phone. His fur is a bright orange and he is fuller in a round sense. Wearing a green turtleneck sweater and a white lab coat rounded black dress shoes and white gloves. He walks out to the front office.

"Sheryl dear we have an old patient coming in. Mrs. Darkos said her son isnt doing well. Could you please seat them and let them know ill be right out." The male fox says. A white female fox turns to him and nods. Dressed in a knee length flowing skirt, a blue blouse and one inch heels. Her grey eyes look dull from lack of sleep while his emerald eyes are the bright and awake.

"Your a little late on that one." Strider says from the door. He walks in carrying the raggedly breathing Bane. Both of them bolt up to look over Bane in Strider's arms.

"When did this happen?" Sylvain asks. Strider walks over and places him on the bed.

"This morning, last night he was complaining about not being able to eat anything and feeling sick every morning." Strider says turning with a grimace towards the doctor who has a sly smirk on his face.

"Heh i knew this was bound to happen without treatment." Slyvain says with a smirk. Strider grits his teeth and grabs the hilt of his sword in one hand and the foxes fat throat in the other.

"Now ive let it slide for the last five years of what you have been doing to my son because it kept him with us. I was even willing to come back here for treatment because he is deathly ill and you would know whats happening to him. So tell me whats wrong with him and what you can do or else i will make your blood boil inside your veins and come from every pore on your body!" Strider exclaimed pinning the fox to a wall. He struggles for a few seconds trying to regain a little air from the deadly grip on his throat.

"Its chaos deficiency." He gasps out before strider drops him to the ground.

"Your son has a severe case of Chaos energy deficiency. I dont know why all i know is that he needed more energy than his body had so i injected him with Chaos energy rich supplements. When you pulled him from the visits a little year ago i knew sooner or later his body was going to run out of the energy he stored so far. This is the end stages of his energy hitting bottom." Sylvain gasps out catching his breath.

"Still doesnt explain while he has been spitting up grey food stuffs, or how you can help him." Strider growls out beginning to pull his katana from its sheath. While strider was handiling her husband and boss Sheryl decided to clean up bane a little, wiping the blood and what not from his mouth and fur. Leaning over him a necklace she has hidden under her top touches Bane. The necklace is made of gold and Chaos jewels, gemstones that have a very finite chaos energy charge stored within. As the jewels pass over him Bane gasps and coughs violently as the energy is sapped from the jewels and into Bane visibly by a green smoke trailing into him from the jewels placement. He regains his color and begins breathing normally as he remaims asleep now.

Both men turn as soon as Bane began coughing. Strider watches in hopeful interest while Sylvain watches in mock interest at the show.

"Sheryl how did you do that?" Strider asks her in a hushed tone not wanting to wake Bane at the moment. She backs up as the last wisps of energy leaves the stones.

"I didn't. I cleaned him up and his body just started collecting energy on its own." She says. Before anymore questions can be asked a female voice begins a zslow maniacal chuckle. Banes fur turns from red to black, his fur hardens into scales, his quills recede into his body leaving the two horn like quills to turn into actual horns. His body grows a foot and a half with his claws becoming sharper and his hair growing longer till it reaches the small of his back. He slowly sits up as his body changes from male to female with a small bust. A old looking white tunic appears to cover her as the body finishes its changes with the eyes, turning from sky blue to blood red. Her muzzle is slightly longer with teeth protruding slightly from the top down.

Once the change is done everyone takes a step back away from the now felmale dragon. She chuckles lightly smiling as she rotates her neck.

"Mmmm, that nap was good. Six years of being half and half really did help." The female says nreathing a sigh of relief as the pressure in her neck loosens. She bends down to touch her toes and then leans back getting several pops from her bones.

"Who are you and what have you done with my son!?" Strider exclaims holding his katana again ready to strike. She smirks and looks at him through one eye.

"Oh relax Strider, your son is perfectly fine. Hes currently taking his own nap inside of me as i was doing him." She says stretching her arms.

"What do you mean napping inside of you like you were him?" The doctor asks.

"You can keep your damned trap shut lard lad, the way you treated this boy was bad enough i might just retaliate for the family. Otherwise to answer your question, what did you think was gonna happen injecting the boy with repeated doses of my blood? You think it wasnt strange that the dragon blood you had only worked on him and none of the other children you tried using it on?" She asks with a sly smirk. Strider glares at the fat fox ready to take his head in a single stroke.

"Mind if i ask what your name is miss?" Sheryl asks. The dragon turns to her something of pity or regret for her flickers in the dragons eyes.

"My name is Drain. I was a cosmic dragon that died in my sleep so to speak and i can tell you more about the boys condition better than anyone else could." She says.

(Thats the end of this story. Whoof i didnt expect to keep going this long. But i know this isn't alot about the entire family, each short story will be about a family member in general as this one was about Bane mostly and one of his more dangerous abilities. To make this short its called a chaos siphon and it allows him to take store and redistribute chaos energy. He also can switch out with drain at a moments notice if his own energy levels are too low. He can only absorb through contact such as skin to skin/fur to fur or pulling energy from a jewel filled with energy. It also has a limit which triggers an overdose sending him into a hyperactive feral state or creating an armor and weapon set of the energy hes taken. Well i hope you all enjoyed it anyway.)

#sonic au #sonic oc #ask blog #my ocs #short story

[feralhogs]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

#chatty #notthecanadianaverage #bug

[ryanjamessalmon]

12/1/2016 - 3:07am - Being Myself

Fuck this shit. I feel like i have addressed this before but i dont know what i have been missing because right now i feel like im really on a different page than i was before. Its 3am and i just finished watching Jordan Peele’s Get Out. Check it, its weird.  There are a lot of things that i havent been addressing in my Life that have been stressing me out. Ive gotten good at managing but dealing with this shit comes with the price of putting on a front. And, to some extent at least, im a very real person. Ill call someone out if i feel like theyre on some goofy shit and i wont let people manipulate me. Ill do a guy a fucking favor because im not a prick, but im not one to be taken advantage of. But what i really have a problem with is 

(i paused here because i was thinking about typing something, but then got real and realized what the real problem was)

myself. My problem isnt that i dont speak my mind or that im not confident in my choices and taste, theyre issues but theyre only branches that all stem from one root problem. The only real problem i have is my self-relation. There are aspects about me that i dont like. There are things that i do naturally that bother me that i wish i didnt do. There are crucial components to my character that i wish i didnt have and i look at others that are different than me and part of me wishes i could be like them. Not in the sense that i want their Life, I love my Life... but i wish i didnt have this sickness that makes me question myself and want to be someone besides myself. 

And its not depression or schizophrenia or anything crazy like that, I suffer from the same thing everyone else does. The only reason that claiming to suffer from some vaguely explained sickness sounds weird to say is because everyone else hides it. Thats where the problem is really. as individuals we see that everyone around us seems to be managing themselves well enough. When everyone talks in their classes or at their jobs no one brings up the existential crisis and hallowing lonlienss that they have been going through for the entire month because everyone else is talking about how last night there was a show one of your coworkers played and you should have showed up (even though you didnt get invited). This is the sickness we all suffer from. The sickness of thinking that the dark places that we end up in when we’re alone are anything but regular. In this world its a struggle just to be, so why does this culture try to make it seem like it isnt? Life is confusing, self identity is an enigma, purpose is infinitely contemplatable, isolation is crippling and im supposed to have all that shit in check enough to deal with never ending problems that get thrown at me on a regular basis like im a lacrosse goalie trying to keep these concrete balls from A.) getting in my net and B.) breaking my collar bone and putting me in the hospital.

We’re told to live with this sickness and most people go through Life never addressing their real feelings becuase the environment that they are in crucifies anyone thats different. I mean, i guess we’re never told to live with the sickness, but no one ever talks about it so everyone keeps their mouth shut even though fucking everyone is dealing with the same dark thoughts. No one wants to feel like they are the only one that notices the fucked up world they live in. No one wants to say what they’re dealing with because of how it might sound to other people. No one wants to sound crazy, no one wants to sound like they’re a broken person, no one wants to sound defective. No one says this shit becuase they’ll sound weird, but weird is the new normal. Fuck, if you havent sat and stared at yourself in the mirror for 5+ minutes before i dont even wanna fuck with you. Addressing this kinda shit is important becasue thats how you grow. Thats how you get stronger. Its how you really learn to deal with yourself and grow into your bones. Communicating your feelings/issues/problems/fuck ups is how you figure out who you are and learn to love yourself. Life is a 

Life is something that cant even be put into words because describing it would be an insult to the beauty of it all tbh. Life is meant to be this incredible thing but We made it bad. Everyone has dreams as a kid but as this sickness grows we start to let go of dreams and accept what society tells us is right and wrong instead of listening to our own intuition. Im not here trying to say that Life should be a problemless bliss where everyone gets to do whatever they want, but everyone should feel absolutely obligated to be themselves. You would be doing yourself the greatest injustice to try and portray anyone besides your truest self at every moment. Because even if I spend my Life a college dropout working at a studio until it falls apart and i end up working in retail until im 32 going in and out of broken relationships then get a job as a manager at a mattress store before quiting and start selling hot dogs in Panama to tourists on the beach until I die, at least I can say that I was doing me the whole time, because thats a lot more than most of these bum ass people will ever be able to say.

#blogposts #blog posts