we're on take a break & my lovely anon is also taking a break... interesting! ok, back to the lyrics:
my dearest, angelica, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, i trust you'll understand the reference to another scottish tragedy without my having to name the play, they think me macbeth, & ambition is my folly, i'm a polymath, a pain in the ass, a massive pain, madison is banquo, jefferson's macduff & birnam wood is congress on its way to dunsinane - ok but this is insane everybody agrees
in a letter i received from you two weeks ago i noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase, it changed the meaning, did you intend this? one stroke & you've consumed my waking days, it says: my dearest, angelica, with a comma after "dearest", you've written my dearest, angelica... - sorry, i can't help but quote lorde here, "i overthink your punctuation use, not my fault, just a thing that my mind do" cause SAME, i've always been like this so bonus points for lin again he's the love of my life in case you can't tell
angelica, tell this man john adams spends the summer with his family/angelica, tell my wife john adams doesn't have a real job anyway - mostly because it's so damn funny hshshshhs
honorable mention: philip's rap & hammy's hey our kid is pretty great at the end of it cause it's soooo cute
bonus: lin's demo for today! because it's a little bit different than the final version & also it's so damn funny to hear lin as philip hshshshsh (as usual, all the characters are played by him so go have a laugh).
Day 157, some progress on the expression meme challenge thingy. Look, I'm gonna be real, I picked the first one on Google search results that had credit in the image. Anyway!
I've decided not to do these in order, largely because Bereft really wanted to be drawn next. Nothing else screamed at me to take the third place prize, so I started going in order anyway, but I'll be drawing whatever catches my fancy first :P
I'm slightly displeased with Pleased, Mizu looks like she's wearing mascara and there's something more smug than happy about the expression. It doesn't have the gentleness I was aiming for, so I'll probably redo it tomorrow.
i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.
Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.
Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.
Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”
Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”
because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!