#like. hm

[queerofthedagger]

I'm not replying to the post cause I'm trying to be less bitchy on tumblr and all but I HATE when people say stuff like, haha Arthur in s4 knew there was a traitor bla bla bla and he didn't suspect Agravaine despite the leads like. He did. He actually fucking did and he was quite done with him too. It's not a much-giffed scene but the goddamn scene is actually in the goddamn show. And yeah, Agravaine twists himself out of it by using Ygraine's memory against Arthur, but 'falling' for that doesn't make Arthur stupid, it makes him Arthur, for fuck's sake. That's like, 50% of his whole DEAL. And yeah then in the next episode Agravaine takes it further, turning it back on the one other possible suspect to, you know, keep Arthur's suspicion off himself, and yes again Arthur doesn't react with cool logic, he reacts tinged by the conversation of the previous episode. Like. This is the guy who was ready to kill his father over Ygraine, who when he "saw" her apologized in his first sentence for killing her, like, of fucking course he's susceptible to Agravaine using her memory against his logic like. Come on now

#bbcm #arthur pendragon #it's also quite literally the ONLY thing Agravaine could've used because Arthur was THIS close to killing a bitvh #i suggest occasionally rewatching the show. ANYWAY #god #like. hm #yeah #anyway

[raayllum]

me if callum only does something vaguely fucked up this season / we don’t get answers on the cube: so CHET for s6 right

#like s5 could do enough i put the theory to bed #but on the other hand. i'm unstoppable #s5 #s6 #cube hostage exchange theory #like it might be some of the symbolism gets Split between s5 and s6 #y'know? could go different ways. but i do feel like rayla + the cube + stella + possession + tragedy arc + book 6 stars and Destiny #is related #esp if rayla has a reason bc callum did so something somewhat fucked up in s5 #to feel extra guilty by extension in s6 #like. hm

[clowningaroundmars]

something is Occuring rn and i'm not sure if i love it or hate it yet

it seems like every single fixation i used to have even as a kid is jumping me in an alleyway rn

i'm rewatching ben 10 alien force rn?!?!??! completely unprompted?! i'm gettin back into my feels abt aliens and best friends who are enemies who are soulmates who are rivals. like. bruh

#mine #i am juggling so many cartoon Feels rn yo what #i'm most likely gonna still stick to motorcity as my Main Obsession but boy is that ben 10 fanart really Hittin rn #like. hm #cuz i will 4ever love muckles but #whats better than a childhood friendship? #a childhood RIVALRY #wheres that post thats like “if youve been rivals for more than x years thats not a rivalry youre just gay” #yeah. that #my goodness #but hey at least i know what the Common Thread between all the ships im falling into is #punkflower? bevin? muckles? #all yaoi ships filled with Devotion 🫶🏼 #guess thats the theme for me rn

[kara-zor-els]

It's actually kinda worrisome how many new DC variant covers look like AI art

#like. hm #not to accuse the artists but idk #kara zor el #lois lane #clark kent #clois #supergirl #superman #variant cover

[soft-fella]

anybody else just subconsciously push your belly out when someone does or says something that turns you on. is that just a me thing. I only just noticed,,

#minors dni #like. hm

[t4tbedehopmar]

does it make sense that i don't wanna be in romantic relationships but i still like romance

#LIKE. hm #like idk i've been feeling like this lately....... so annoying #oh well....... maybe this is just temporal and i'm exaggerating. maybe.......... #THO i'm still ok w platonic relationships yeah! but romance............. eh

[nailgunstigmata]

thinking about the nuts being bad (even frank says they taste „rancid“) and mac being allergic against them and dennis repeatedly telling him to stop eating them because theyre bad for him….and mac keeps eating them……and dennis keeps telling him to stop even though mac wont listen. thinking

#iasip spoilers #like. hm

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

nothing will remind me that i have an anxiety disorder with a side of mild hallucinations like being in the same room as a horror show

#genuinely starting to wonder if my aversion to horror counts as a health thing bc like. i Like the stories #but i physically cannot leave the fight or flight paranoia shadows becoming distorted faces fear even weeks after i haven’t seen the media #like. hm #mossy speaks #personal #sighs in spanish the show looks so good too but i Will be mentally ill abt it i just Know #hate hate camera angles designed to put you on edge Hate that i can feel the Dread creeping in

[juice-from-17776-football]

yknow what crazy. being a trans girl robot in an afab system. like this should be awesome for me but i honestly just miss my body in headspace. lol. i guess i'm just not dysphoric! not enough for it to matter anyway! being trans and a system is weird. but usually in a good way. i think

#not serious or venting i'm just thinkin #like. hm #trans #trans system #did #actuallydid #system #how do i. tag this? #juicing #im trans no matter what because in my source i was an androgynous space probe/android #it doesnt matter if im a girl or a boy im still trans no matter what B] #cool of me i think

[robotpussy]

"No protester should be able to evade justice by wearing a face covering

That's why we're banning them.

Offenders could receive up to a £1,000 fine and a month in prison."

mask off, full blown fascism

#uk politics #like hm 'CERTAIN PROTESTS'.... i wonder which protests they're talking about....

[monstergirlclaws]

#Zepotha #Goncharov #man how come we had to get the genre I’m not interested in and TikTok got the fun one #like the op who came up with this idea is 18 and I don’t want to bully a teenager #but based on their comments they started this solely to promote an upcoming album they made #which. hm

[yappacadaver]

Why does my fyp think I want to roleplay as a dog sexually

#like. hm #I feel vaguely insulted LOL #one of my mutuals probably rbed something idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ #the fyp is nutty sometimes but I still use it lolol #dash is slow as shit today

[elucubrare]

i firmly hold that it's my duty as a reader to believe it when an author tells me at the beginning of the series that the dragons are gone forever and never coming back. but god it's a struggle sometimes.

#that is: i don't think it's fair to hold that kind of genre knowledge against a specific instance of it #not even because while i've read hundreds of bad fantasy novels someone else might not have read any #but because hm. 'the dragons are gone' is the foundation of a kind of feeling - discovery; renewal; awakening - #there's not a way to get the feeling later on without laying the foundation #so even if the foundation feels like busywork for me the reader #it has to be there in some form or other

[navysealt4t]

guys would it be weird to invite my main group of friends to hang out and also invite a different friend from my school

#like. hm #i wanna do another christmas hang out thingy but i wanna invite my new friend #but idk if it would be weird or not #i mean. my other friends invite their friends idk to sleepovers and stuff

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy