#like. fuck society fuck the concept of having to work FUCK it !! fuck it !!
the “i do not dream of labour” thing was already mildly irritating but now that a certain subset of lifestyle youtubers have gotten a hold of it it’s like. unbearable lol
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In honour of Black History Month heres your reminder: you aren’t well read if you only read white authors.
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I reached the last sentence/paragraph I want to write.
I know the point I wanna make. But how do sentence? Also German? How when thinking thought in non German? Plz want be done...
i am TRULY a ONE OF A KIND person bc, like ive said many times before, when i see those quotes like “theres no such thing as laziness, just a person who is worn out, or a person whose skills arent applied well, or a person who just hasnt found their passion. no lazy human exists” im like. well guess im not human!
“oh but maybe you-” no i literally get an ecstasy and borderline erotic response when i commit the act of laziness, the “sin” of slothfulness. shut the fuck up. i WANT to be lazy. literally. -maxx
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welp 4.30am. yknow what that means. time to create my own fantasy universe to later annoy my friends with when I make them hear about it because I miss extensive world building and my lack of sleep had made me Inspired.
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Why doesn't Sweet Boy work?
A long dissertation about Noah Benson and why this character is so hated.
In my opinion, of course. *No child actor is bashed here*
The adoption process
Can we talk about it? What in the fanfiction was that adoption process about?
The lady who was denied by an adoption agency gets a white baby boy thrown in her lap. Yeeep.
In my opinion the main reason she was denied in the first place was because of the no support system thing. What I'm saying is it's very realistic that Olivia would be denied in the adoption agency. It’s true that she had no support system. You can argue that nowadays she has more of it but back then she didn't. .Nor when she was denied nor when she got Noah. In testimony to that let's go to an example.
Noah was sick with something , look I don't know. Pneumonia? Something with the lungs. He was a baby, his adoption process was not even finalized yet. So they played the "working mom" card which is fine. Olivia was worried sick but she still had to go to work. The baby had to stay in the hospital with the nanny. No friend, no family member. Nanny. Olivia had to pay someone to stay with the baby. Is that horrible? No. Bad parenting?Absolutely not, but it shows how Olivia is a lonely person (which I'll argue she still is despite improving in her relationship skills).
Something very stressful was happening in her life. Her baby boy was in a serious condition in a hospital. Still, she had nobody to call? Or maybe, she didn't want to call. Cause Olivia does things by herself. Childhood trauma, you can argue. It doesn't really matter but time and time again we see how hard it is for Olivia to let someone in. And even when she lets someone in she still has a hard time asking for help. But when you have a child, that goes to shit.
I'm not talking about a husband/wife. We need a community to raise someone. You can't do it alone. Olivia should know that. She herself was raised by her mother alone. She knows how hard it was not only for her but for her mother. How different things could've been if her mother had help? And again I'm not talking about a man. Or a romantic relationship. I'm talking about community. That's why people go to churches. That's why people join cults even. In a more ideally world, we have neighbors who help around, family members who are there for you. Aunties and cousins, blood related or not. We see that in many societies.
Who’s Olivia’s community? The 1-6. Maybe they too were working so much they couldn’t help. Or maybe we don’t see much of the squad and they are actually more involved in each other’s lives. I mean, they did go to sweet boys' baptism. What I am trying to say is: it doesn’t seem to come easy for Olivia to rely on people so I understand the denial of her adoption in the earlier season.
An adoption has to be in behalf of the child. I get that Olivia is a good mom and that she’s trying her best but I also think that the priority should not be “she really deserves a kid” but “this child needs a stable environment.” I really feel like because of the plot the first one was the priority. I also think that most adoptions in real life happen that way and that’s a big issue. Take a look at youtube family vloggers and you’ll see the amount of international adoptions clearly made in behalf of parents. I don’t really rock with that plot.
Therefore the whole idea of sweet boy already started on the wrong foot. And it does not get better...
Young boys in TV
I’ve seen this argument a lot when people talk about Noah and I can’t help but agree. Young boys don’t make good TV, usually. They’re pretty dull. Baby Benson was cute enough. If we take the adoption process out of the equation I didn’t mind baby Benson at all. Good prop. It was nice to see Olivia acting like a mom. Then the little guy started talking. Not cool!
Ok, I do think it's complicated to talk about child actors online. The concept of child actors in general it's actually fucked up, imo. Stage parents are creepy, ok? The thing about Noah Benson 3.0 it’s that I just don't feel it. Olivia and Noah's relationship doesn't feel organic. It's very forced. Maybe it's all about the writing, the plots. Which are bad, let's say that. Everything seems out of nowhere. That whole drama with baseball x dance could’ve been so cool but it just translated as: the actor we hired can dance so let’s use that. Not natural at all.
I get endearing names but the way sweet boy sounds, oof. Goes back to the lack of chemistry, I guess.
The two most interesting plots so far in my opinion were
1) Sheila, but just because of Sheila herself. Goes back to the whole “Olivia is doing this mom thing alone” plotline (which is forgotten after Sheila goes to jail but ok!!). It was nice to see Olivia’s dilemma, wanting to provide Noah with more family relationships while working with her inability to rely on people/jeaulosy. It made her human. Also, the thing about nurture x nature. That was entertaining. I didn’t really enjoy the ending of that arc but oh well;
2) Pushing Olivia Time! Ok, I’m not gonna lie, that was funny as hell.I gotta give it up to sweet boy. I just hope Olivia learns how to put some limits on that child. Look, that also could’ve been better. They could explore more on Olivia’s parenting skills. Olivia’s ways of dealing with Noah reminds me of the mother of a friend I had. Her mother was very strict with her, loving but strict. After almost 16 years she got pregnant again. So now she’s a mother of a baby at 40- something and the kid is just running wild. All that energy she had, putting limits, checking everything - that didn't exist anymore. The mother would give in to all the child’s wants. Luckly, the kid had a good head on his shoulders and even after many tantrums he grew up to be a decent teen. When you look at Olivia, you have a working mother who’s probably feeling guilty of leaving him with Saint Nanny Lucy all the time plus the woman who has spent years longing for a child and will probably give in to all his wants. It’s bound to make a terrible mixture.
In conclusion: I hope sweet boy grows up fast cause teens make fun TV. Teen Noah pushing Olivia? Now that 's good TV. Also, one minute of silence in honor of Calvin - Olivia’s first [forgotten] child.
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Deus Ex: Mankind Divided (2016)
Started: Night, 04 January 2021
Completed: Afternoon, 16 January 2021
Total Play Time: 46 hours
Saves: 430 (give or take a few)
With this, the venerable Deus Ex tetralogy -- sextology if you count The Fall and DX Go, trilogy if you consider that I didn't play DXIW -- comes to a satisfying close. In a lot of ways the highest-concept production of the series, DXMD promises a lot, delivers a lot, and is quite eager to put its budget all over the screen. However, much of my thoughts on this game will be grounded in my experience in DXHR -- for a series so seemingly stuck in its ways, this should come as no surprise.
Deux Ex: Mankind Divided completes a picture of a series that, for better or worse, loves its fans as much as its fans love it. It's hard not to get the impression though that this love permeates the rather unadventurously consistent narrative structure between each game in the series, just as much as its gradually evolving approach to a gameplay formula that, as proven in DX1, works, and works well. There's also the abundance of cute easter-egg callbacks: a copy of DXHR at the bottom of a crate in a basement, radios playing DX1 music, the DX1 logo on a mousepad, etc.
Each Deus Ex game seems very much a product of its time. Mankind Divided's time, it seems, was squarely in the midst of the Cinematic Effects zeitgeist, at the corner of Terrorists In The Middle East and Near-Future Military. Yes, setting the opening level of your game in a sandstorm-ridden Dubai, plastering the camera with dirt and dust and drowning it all in bloom while you stalk terrorists in an abandoned construction site, is as sure-fire a way as any to set the tone (Spec Ops: The Line, much?). So committed were they to the cinematic style that Mankind Divided deadass has its own fucking opening credits sequence; thankfully, this movie-like flair all but goes away after this (and after you turn off the visual effects).
We have to talk about the segregation motif. Yes it is a clumsy and hamfisted (and certainly deliberately so) echo of Nazi-era and Civil Rights-era shit and represents a misappropriation of modern-day BLM rhetoric (see posters and promotional material saying things like "All Human Lives Matter" and "Augmented Lives Matter," come the fuck on), but Given That it is interesting how, for example, you CAN choose to take the naturals-only train for fast travel, but you will get stopped and yelled at in angry Czech by a cop on your way out. They if anything do a good job at immersing you in this segregated world as a function of showing you how the world's doing in the years following the Aug Incident at DXHR's climax (hint: society's not doing so hot).
"Holy fucking god my EYES with these ugly ass cinematic effects" - Direct quote from my preliminary notes upon firing up the opening mission. I've said my piece already about these cinematic visual effects (film grain, motion blur, chromatic aberration, bloom, etc.) but it's good that you can turn them off.
Character designs are very nice I thought, and characters were iconic and easy to tell apart (fashion design was, as ever, great tho). However. These animations are so... bad. Poorly mocapped bodies noncommittally flail their hands in canned dialogue animations, and faces convey virtually no emotion as they very barely try to mouth along with the dialogue. Were they this bad in DXHR? As well, hair textures all have this unsightly white glimmer that wouldn't seem to go away no matter what I tweaked in the options.
Overall though, the game looks great, and definitely unified with the previous game. We got all the graphical trappings of the later half of the 2010, except -- critically -- real-time reflections, which were a
Lastly, I will also say that they have an interesting way of presenting fake photographs (e.g. for news articles) that look almost deepfaked. From a framing and composition standpoint it's a great emulation of journalistic photography and complements the alt-history style of the game really well. In general they also did a really great job with the wealth of fictional advertising material too.
I wanted to enjoy the music but it just wasn't quite as iconic as in DX1. It does its job, but I'm not going to go tracking down the OST and jamming to it or anything. I do know that by default it was Quite loud, and I ended up having to turn it down to like 30%.
Ambience was high-key throughout; there was a wealth of streetside interactions between NPCs that were really cool to listen to. The bustling workplace ambience of the TF29 headquarters was really keenly crafted as well.
As for voice acting, maybe the point of Adam Jensen's kind of lackluster VO performance was to highlight the fact that virtually everyone around him is SO much more well-acted than he is. For one, Adam couldn't seem to decide if Janus was pronounced JAH-nus or JAY-nus. Like, my guy, I've been going on about this shit since Gothic 1, throw me a bone here.
Deus Ex is a series that very much plays by a ruleset that can be at times predictable. There's always a vent behind a nearby dumpster, there's always a breakable wall into the sewer. There's always a level that strips you of all your gear and abilities, followed by a return to the hub world to find everyone is rioting and the cops are out for blood. (But these are more story concerns I guess.)
Gameplay is pretty much similar to DXHR; much of my strategy in DXHR informed my purchase of augs in DXMD, which was an interesting sort of cohesiveness of gameplay that I appreciated.
Not that it's without a great deal of QOL improvements. For one, the multitools from DX1 have finally been invented!
MANTLING, as well, improves traversal a great deal, and these new "experimental" augs unlock a lot more options like a Dishonored-style Blink aug (which I didn't use, but in practice it seems like it'd have been useful). Regarding stealth, in the last game, I complained that there was no difference between an unconscious enemy and a dead one; this time around, enemies can wake up unconcsious bodies. Still not totally certain that was a thing in the last game, but nonetheless it adds a new strategic dimension to stealth.
On a related note, the moving of bodies feels faster and snappier than last game; while your movement speed while holding a body is increased over DXHR, making it easier to move a body across an open space, it does mean that bodies tend to snag when trying to put them in vents or walk them up stairs or things like that. The ability to throw bodies as well as drop them is a really nice touch, however; I spent a lot of time yeeting bodies every which way.
Enemy AI leaves something to be desired especially if you're playing the Mischievous Hacker route like I did. If a security robot has all of a sudden gone on the fritz and started attacking people, surely the prudent thing to do as a guard getting shot at would be to scramble for the security room, and hit up the console that controls the robot to turn it off? Maybe? No, you're just going to keep searching every other room? Go off, I guess
In what may be a stunning first for the series, we finally get to see the world of Deus Ex during the day. Eat your heart out, VTMB parallels.
Narratively, Mankind Divided felt a little more lowkey than Human Revolution. Not a lot of really huge things happen. I mean like, there's Orchid and there's Stormsurge and everything, but it seems a lot less global-scale than what's at stake in DX1 or DXHR. They don't really impress upon you the long-term societal impact of what you're doing until the third act. However, the plot really did putter along! I kind of liked it. Though it did maybe lack the more iconic locales that were in DXHR, like the Tai Yong Medical building or the Omega Ranch.
Media misinformation emerges as a major theme, just in time for the serious emergence of discourse surrounding "fake news" at the start of the Trump era. Various parties report regularly in newspapers, on TVs and radios: you have the underground Samizdat jabbering about conspiracies and printing out offensive caricatures of recurring characters; you have Eliza Cassan of Picus insisting that her clearly slanted messages are Fair, Unbiased, and Impartial; you have that Alex Jones guy yelling his anti-aug vitriol on the radio. "No matter what name these terrorists go by... there's nothing more dangerous than the spread of false news," says Eliza in the end cutscene, verbatim, as if to drive the point home.
I also thought they did a great job incorporating all the Illuminati and conspiracy stuff! The inclusion and expounding-upon of figures like Joseph Manderley, Bob Page, and Lucius DeBeers did a great job bridging the 23-year gap between this game and DX1.
DLC - DEUS EX: BREACH
I didn't actually play Breach, because it seems to me that it's just a full-length spin on the Neural Subnet level in Act 2, which I didn't really like very much. However, I do have to respect the fair one-time payment model (as opposed to like an "episodes" or "seasons" joint, which in 2016 was just starting to gain popularity); I also like the implementation of Breach Software packages throughout the main game that have some effect (I think in the form of equipment and aid) in the Breach story.
DLC - JENSEN'S STORIES
Gonna be honest I didn't touch these at all lmao. They seem to remind me of like, the supplemental stories from the first Witcher. Maybe some day! But not today.
I was pleasantly surprised with this game's performance on my rig all things considered; I was able to get pretty solid performance on sub-Ultra settings. That said, it was definitely less technically sound than DXHR. A couple times I entered states where I could neither save nor load, and had to relaunch the game or lose all of my save progress. Once, I found myself unable to leave the Tab menu and had to relaunch the app again. Not great! But mercifully rare.
SPECIFIC THINGS I LIKED
Hacking Minigame - It's back, and not much has changed since DXHR, only now there are a few new bells and whistles thrown into the mix. Hotkeys for capturing, fortifying, and deploying viruses constitute a great QOL improvement for hacking speediness and aggressiveness. More complex doesn't always mean better, but in this case, I'm happy with it.
Prague - All these storefronts and enterable stores are so comfortably crafted (though cluttered; see below); I feel very much like I'm actually walking through the labyrinthine lanes and hole-in-the-wall shops of a dense European city.
Messengers - This is a cool spin on conversation challenges: Pretending to be someone else in instant messengers by hacking into their computers. I thought it was neat and intense.
The Útulek Complex Level - Really, really visually well realized, offering great and unorthodox freedom of movement and a shockingly expansive stretch of level to explore.
That Alex Jones Guy on the Radio - I like that they brought him back from DXHR. Video game radio stations are truly an artform unto themselves, and Deus Ex continues to do a great job at it.
Safehouse - Adam's apartment, by contrast to his little-visited Detroit one in DXHR (better designed though it may be imo), is made a lot more repeatedly visited and visitable by the addition of a fair handful of mission objectives taking place in it, as well as a storage bay behind a hidden panel in the wall. It is, however, Very cluttered again, strewn with loose papers, glitched physics objects, and open cereal boxes giving the impression of a place recently broken into. They also have only allowed the player a little more freedom this time to truly Customize the space; for example, you still can't raise or lower the blinds, control the lights, adjust the volume of the TV or radio, rearrange the furniture, even take a shower. It feels like so much set dressing where a little more interactivity would have gone a long way to make the safehouse truly a place to feel good to come back to.
CASIE - It's back, and this time a lot more useful! I dropped a couple praxis on this early on to see if it was improved, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it's a lot more intuitive (though still not Totally so) to see how you're doing convincing people.
Endings - A better approach than DXHR, more in line with the ending of DX1; your ending is determined in at least some regard by the course you take for the final mission. Yes, it still boils down to a choice between two endings, but your choices throughout the game (including lethal and nonlethal options) broadens your available paths a little bit more.
Collectibles - You have Breach Software (see DLC section) and Triangle Codes. It's nice, kind of refreshing really, that these triangle codes at least should offer some kind of extra BTS tidbit rather than be like, required for an ingame mission or something. That, at least in my opinion, is the form that collectibles in games had ought to take.
The Credits - It's a small thing, but I love when game developers treat the end credits of their game as sort of a sealed-with-a-kiss love letter, with things like lists of Production Babies, slideshows of behind-the-scenes photos, and in-memory-ofs and special-thanks-tos. It drives home the humanity of the production that much more.
Microtransactions - I shouldn't say I liked these specifically per se, but I literally only noticed the Shop panel in the main menu after I had beaten the game, to find that apart from a few things that I may or may not have already owned with the season pass, all it contained were options to buy praxis kits or credit packs. So the fact that these were that unobtrusive (and, all things considered, not unreasonably priced) was a plus.
Romance - Lack thereof! God I almost didn't notice until now that nobody in the Deus Ex series has to kiss anyone! Unless you count Megan Reed, Adam's ex-girlfriend from before the start of DXHR, but I don't. Especially for all of Adam's attractive and friendly coworkers that you'd Think would be pushed as a sort of will-they-won't-they romance; Deus Ex is simply not a romance-oriented series, and I haven't given this appropriate credit until now.
SPECIFIC THINGS I DISLIKED
Hacking Minigame UI - Uglier, darker, more cluttered, and overall harder to read than in the last game.
Clutter - In DXHR it was papers, books, folders - this time, while there's no shortage of that too, it's trash, trash, trash, piled up in every street gutter and strewn about every sidewalk. Oh my fucking word.
Level Design - It seems to be very conspicuously designed with the cover system in mind, moreso than in DXHR and certainly moreso than DX1. These stealth-heavy sections seem designed as convenient arenas with lines of assorted chest-high barriers circling the outer edge, beyond which no enemy will Ever even think to peek for someone shimmying along around.
Icarus Landing - While no less useful than in DXHR, I can see they still haven't fixed the Unnecessary Cutscene Problem from the last game. It really fucked with the flow then, and it does now, earning it a place here.
Tranquilizer Rifle - Being simply a palette swap of the sniper rifle, it is Comically Large compared to its sleeker, lower-profile equivalent from DXHR. It also takes up just as much inventory space as a sniper, i.e. too much for a tranquilizer.
The Útulek Complex Level - Hopelessly byzantine in layout and objective structure, virtually impossible to navigate even when there Aren't enemies that will shoot you on sight.
Shopkeepers - Big improvement from previous games (see DX1 thoughts); but am I crazy, or do these shopkeepers have a dialogue set for when you don't buy something, that plays whether you buy something or not? Like dude, I dropped ten thousand fucking credits on a praxis kit from you only for you to tell me to fuck off like I'm wasting your time? No, YOU fuck off
Singing Fish - There's a Singing Fish prop in the Praha Dovoz upper office that you can turn on -- all it does it play music. It doesn't "sing" and it certainly doesn't wiggle like a singing fish had ought to. 0/10 as singing fish go.
The Ending - That is, the way the ending is conveyed to the player. I'm typing this as I am watching a lengthy news report where Eliza Cassan sums up the consequences of everything I've done throughout the game. Like, they did this same thing in Fallout, sure, but at least in Fallout you get the barrel-aged hickory-smoked voice of Ron Perlman. Eliza Cassan, being secretly an AI hologram, is naturally a lot stiffer in her delivery.
While coming across often as a little less focused than Human Revolution, and while I don't think I enjoyed it Quite as much as a result, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided is a great time nonetheless and a worthy finale to the Adam Jensen duology. I can only hope that it will remain a duology, and that they don't, I dunno, come out with a soft Adam Jensen reboot simply titled DEUS EX. And I know they wouldn't dream of that, would they? 8/10
Don't you just love it when incels act as if feeemales are an essential resource like (food/water/shelter) that should be random distributed to incels to fuck in a fucked up pseudo-communist society? It never occurs to them that feeemales are sentient beings with their own minds/desires.
Sorry for the lateness of this reply, I needed to really dig deep into the incel mind before answering. You know I like you when I go into EXTREME detail for ya~
Their having never experienced sex has caused it to become a deified concept, to the point where they believe that it's the center of all human existence. We all only exist for the sake of getting that good dick/pussy. But with this pseudo enlightenment comes the fact that by their own logic they have no reason to exist, with LOADS of their bitchy online posts to prove it. So why do they feel so entitled to sex? Because they've convinced themselves that their sex-obsession gives them a higher understanding of human nature and therefore an intellectual superiority over the rest of us “normies”. And much like every loser with a superiority complex they feel like it entitles them to something they have no interest or intention to earn. That's why they think they automatically deserve to fuck the hottest women, because why should "geniuses" like them have to settle? But because there's the rare chance that one of them might develop a personality and actually get with a conventionally attractive woman, they set up impossible standards to keep it from ever happening to preserve their entire ideology. The incel's idea of an "acceptable" woman is a white/asian virgin that has no interests or opinions outside of his, can't get pregnant, is under 20 (if not underaged), can't age past 17 years old, is willing to cook and clean for him, has no job unless he doesn't want to work, doesn't mind his horrendous lack of hygiene, can't get STDs from his lack of hygiene, is willing to indulge every single kink of his no matter how bizarre, is so desperate for his “high IQ dick” that she’ll BEG him to fuck her, and has no standards that might require him to maybe do a couple sit-ups a week or read an actual book other than Mein Kampf.
“So why can’t they just buy a sex-doll?”
Because it’s not enough for them to simply orgasm into a vaguely human-shaped mass of medical grade latex. They need to feel like they have control over another human being to distract themselves from the fact their lack of personal responsibility guarantees they will never have any control over their own lives when they can’t blame minorities and women for their personal failures.
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guys watch out I am in a typing high rn and am typing so fast that I know I'll bruise or cramp soon
but omg it is so fun
here lemme write out a sentence like
hi my name is elli and my favorite food is umm you know what I don't think I actually have one and I kind of hate the concept of favorites to begin with because it causes the mindset that we always need to have a number one but sometimes things are better together and in groups so like what if my favorite food is just a combination of other foods that would be qualified to be in their own group by the standards of society which btw is so rude and I need to confess that cheese and chocolate back to back is the definition of good kush like it's like that scene in ratatouille where he gives homeboy cheese and a strawberry but it is cheese and chocolate and like cheez its directly followed by ummmm FUCKKKKK what are they even fucking called holy shit I am gonna riot ncsjkcnsjdc ummm OOOO OOO no that is NOT it holy fuck but anyway it has chocolate in it and it just fucking works but I also love pepper jack and grapes that shit slaps harder than ummm idk guys I wasn't hit by a belt growing up just emotional trauma lmao anyway yeah that is great and I love that and omg I never want to stop typing this is lowkey turning me on like I have not made ONE single spelling error this whole time I should honestly get my cock sucked for this shit rn but also I do not want a cock that is extra baggage I do not want to carry quite literally anyway hold on I am getting a text from my professor so I will stop lmao
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I have a ton of problems with both circe and song of Achilles.
with song of Achilles, it is beautifully written but I find it very weird that its a gay love story yet the gay sex scenes are rushed through and alluded to, yet the one straight sex scene is described in almost gross detail with way too much information about her vagina. it felt like a self insert moment bc Madeleine wanted to fuck her own character and very VERY obvious that she's a straight woman with barely any knowledge of gay sex. and what the other anon said is true, she frames women very negatively.
with circe, its framed as this feminist novel that gives agency to a character who is normally demonized by male authors. it is supposed to give her the dignity of a backstory, and I thought it would be about a young witch honing her craft and discovering herself and her personal power. its a little bit of that but its literally chronolized by her relationship with men. all of her motivations are based on men from her father, to her rapists, to her lover, to her son. it is a story entirely about men. it doesn't even pass the fucking Bechdel test because the two conversations she does have with women are about men! (except one with her sister where they talk about their childhoods, but even that convo is centered around circes relationship with her dad.)
and at some point through the story a bunch of nymphs start being sent to her island as punishment, and I'm thinking, okay work! like maybe she could teach them the craft and become like a little coven and be women uplifting each other. instead she bars them from her house, and calls them stupid and annoying to her lover at the time. she is literally a pick me girl.
the only people she respects the entire novel are men. also, if I wanted to read a book about how hot Odysseus is, how big is muscles are, how strong and brave he is and what a great storyteller and warrior he is, I would read the fucking odyssey. I went into this book hoping to relate to her character and came away disappointed and annoyed.
if it was framed as a love story it would be more acceptable. I just wish all the critics and publications would stop calling it a feminist novel.
SPOILERS FOR CIRCE
klossgron, my bestie, i could not agree more 👏🏻 👏🏻 see what i’ll say is that i did enjoy circe! i did! however, i think i set my expectations too high going in. it had raving reviews and immediately i was underwhelmed by the prose. i’m someone who really enjoys being shown things instead of told them, which is a standard in good writing more or less as we know, but it’s off putting to me right off the bat. i also don’t prefer first person but that’s sort of just my own preference and not indicative of quality.
but i agree with you sooooo hard! i was sorely disappointed by how much potential it had yet it fell flat. like i don’t mean to be a hater. i still would rate it about a 3.5/5 as far as entertainment and readability go. it’s a great concept but it is nowhere near being a feminist novel. like sure, circe is a hetty i guess, so a bunch of love stories with men is not a big deal. but... i wanted her to fully embrace her witchyness and own it. i was hoping for her to, as you said, own her craft and kind of become an “evil” woman (in the eyes of society) and embrace that. i was also hoping she’d take the nymphs under her wing and have a daughter instead of a son. most of the media i consume, i prefer to read/watch complex relationships between women. i do feel like circe really very much centered her life around men and did anything and everything to please them. which like? for a witch goddess? LAME.
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could u expand on what u mean about the rsd thing? bc i think i kinda know what ur getting at but yeah idk
Firstly please Do not reblog this, I don't have sources on hand immediately and for the sake of accountability online take what I say here w a grain of salt
But that said, like RSD isn't like a universally recognized concept, I have yet to find any articles on it that don't come from ADHDmag and the specific singular doctor who does all their research. I also have yet to really figure out what research he actually did to come up with the concept beyond like, an analysis of anecdotal reports of social difficulties experienced by ppl w ADHD.
Putting aside the limited research (because honestly I don't have sources on hand to back up that) I consider RSD to be part of just a major issue with the biomedical model of psychology in general in that it is the pathologizing of a societal issue. Not every ADHD person has RSD, I personally don't feel I have it, however many of us have experienced a great deal of social exclusion growing up on the basis of our disability that could reasonably have negative effects on our relationships with others in a variety of ways.
In my opinion even if RSD had a lot of research behind it and even if the guy who was writing it wasn't like being massively paid by the pharmaceutical industry (whole other can of worms but I found his finances last fall and among the many companies paying him to promote their products one of em is an amphetamines manufacturer), the whole concept of it is still saying "if you struggle with relationships, that's just part of your disability"
That is not affirming, that is not helpful. ADHD is something you have for life but it's comorbid mental health problems, depression, anxiety, RSD, etc, those can be recovered from and healed from. This RSD nonsense almost got it right by saying there ought to be more recognition for the social aspects of ADHD but telling young ppl "your disorder that you cannot change means you will always struggle this way with relationships" is toxic and destructive. You won't always feel that way, ADHD is not a curse of depression and loneliness. Ppl w social disabilities deserve to demand change with how society treated us, with how kids at school treated us, and we deserve a chance to heal from that and find peace with a part of ourselves we were born with.
My point being that there isn't something fucked up with my brain that makes it hard for me to form relationships with others but rather that I was treated cruelly by my peers for something I could not control and its taken work to heal to the point I'm at now but I'm proud of that and I no longer despise my ADHD, it isn't some destructive force ruining my life, it's just a way that I'm different from others and it breaks my heart to see other ppl coming to the conclusion they have ADHD and then immediately being told "and that's why you're depressed and struggle to form healthy relationships with others"
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DSMP World Building Headcanons: Species and Races
Anyone ready for late as fuck headcanons? No? Well fuck you /lh.
This time around is a rough summary of different species that exist in the world because yeeee, they be pretty cool. Also includes some character headcanons and what not!
This list currently just has three, but I’ll update it as I come up with more headcanons
There are many different types of of them, though the most common is goats with sheeps coming close after.
Characters: Puffy (Jacobs Sheep), Schlatt (Ram), Tubbo (Moobloom)
They aren't solely these animals as satyrs here are instead even-toed ungulates (hooves mammals), which includes animals such as antelopes, cows, deer, goats, pigs, and sheep.
One thing about their culture (atleast the ones with horns) is that whenever a satyr dies, their horns are severed and given to those they were closest to during life. c!Schlatt's horns were taken off by Puffy and she tried to give them to Fundy and Quackity, but Quackity refused to accept the one Puffy tried to give to him by simply walking away.
A close relative to creepers though known for being much more intelligent.
They aren’t actually fully natural creatures and the first were made in labs as tests to see what would happen if creepers were given intelligence, it has been a few thousand years since that and in the meantime society fell and then rose again (I’ll get into the fall and rise in another post).
Generally consider themselves mobs and being occasially mistaken as Creepers doesn’t really help them that much, so their known for seeming heartless especially with Creepers as they’ll make farms without any other thought.
Characters: Sam. Just Sam.
I’m super fucking bad at describing apperances, but I see them as looking like candyblob’s c!Sam design here.
Confusing name with an even more confusing concept. Corvids are what’s known as heavenly races as they don’t live (or usually don’t live) in the realm of the mortals, rather they live in the realm of the gods. Reason behind this is because of the before mention fall of society, during this some peoples sought refuge with the gods and a few open their homes up for those who were lost and dying. Death opened the the underworld up for Corvids and a few others to enter, but gave them a trade: They’d live their at the cost of their three lives and would have to work as servant, though were well treated servants.
Along with this, they were given humanoid forms. Basic rundown is bipedal, standing on legs like a Secretary Bird’s and having large wings on their backs, feathers along their backs and around their ears, lastly is their long lion-like tail that’s tipped with a plume of feathers. Most common base color is black while most common secondary color is white.
Characters: Philza (Crow), Wilbur (Magpie), technically Tommy (Crow, cus of lab havoc)
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Ok this may just be me but I hate deconstructions. I feel like they are always mean spirited and try to be dark and edgy and thinks that every single person is an asshole because that’s “realistic” when no it’s not. This maybe because I like superhero stories and love it when the heroes overcome their struggles.
I can agree for the most part. Whenever I hear “okay but what if it was dArK--” I’m just okay, gonna stop you right there.
I swear, nothing bothers me more than people who want Miraculous Ladybug to literally just be Yandere Simulator(with Marinette as Ayano, Alya as Info-chan, Adrien as Taro, Chloe as Osana, Lila as Kizana, Kagami as Megami, and Luka as Budo). It just grinds my gears, especially because they're, once again, framing Marinette as a stalker, which just makes her look bad, AND pits all the girls against each other for Mr. Generic Harem Protagonist, once a-fucking-gain. Just go play the actual game, ok?
All I'm hearing is that now I have to ship Ayano and Budo and write a fic where the ghost girl uses fancy fantasy magic to merge her soul with Ayano and lets her actually have emotions, healing her from being a yandere while the ghost girl (in a way) gets to live a life she was cut short of, also allowing Ayano to be happy and go onto be friends with all the rivals.
Extremely convoluted but that’s the only way we get happy endings in this house.
I remember how, when writing Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi refused to bow to older male writers wanted, say, for the girls to be stereotypical manga characters, with one being overweight, one being a stereotypical nerd, etc. But Naoko wanted each of the girls to be beautiful and feminine. While I don't like that they all share a body type, I admire how she didn't listen to grown men when writing for and about young girls. And I can't help but think about how Madoka is the antithesis of all that.
I can appreciate writers who put their foot down to stick to their values. There are limits of course, but yeah, a women writing women probably shouldn’t be listening to a man’s input. I’m sure good advice exists buuut...
What is your ranking of the seasons of the year from most to least favorite and why?
Summer - I work best in the warmth
Spring - Always brings images of flowers blooming to mind
Autumn - Things are getting cold and I don’t like it
Winter - It can go choke for all I care
Someone on TV Tropes actually said that the name Feminist Fantasy should be changed because "feminism excludes men the same way meninism excludes women" and actually had the nerve to link that to the "Not So Different" trope, as if women haven't been excluded throughout the history of almost every human society. Fortunately, someone responded to them in a way that technically amounted to "do your damn research" but I'm still facepalming so hard at TV Tropes' "what about the men" rhetoric.
I feel like I lost braincells reading this.
I feel like in fiction written by men there are only three flaws that female protagonists are allowed to have: clumsy, boy-crazy, or ashamed of their flat chests. I hate it.
Don’t forget, “having to listen to the men for how they’re supposed to feel.”
Jatp. Nominated. For. Seven. Emmys. SEVEN!!!! Miraculous could NEVER. Literally.
omg!! Congrats to Julie and the Phantoms!
WHAT ARE YOUR FLASHBACKS TO EVER AFTER HIGH?? I GOTTA KNOW? OMG?
Oh, I’ve seen basically the whole series, though the one I remember most is definitely Epic Winter. It was my favorite one though Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie so I’m biased.
I also like a lot of the “twists” and just--crazy concepts they rolled with, like with Red Riding Hood’s story and how Apple White gets woken up from her slumber.
You're gonna be happy to hear this...I just started watching Cardcaptor Sakura today, and holy shit not only do I love it, but I also love how freaking META it is! I know you said you're not all that knowledgeable about Magical Girl, but this show is AWARE that it's a Magical Girl show! From Tomoyo(the main reason this show is so meta, tbh) realizing Sakura is a Magical Girl and asking if she has a transformation pose, to designing outfits for her(more on that later) to videotaping her(aka literally making a Magical Girl anime out of her Magical Girl friend), it just has fun with itself and plays with Magical Girl tropes without making a mockery of them like all those "dark" male-aimed ones do(lookin' at you, Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna!).
And not only is it hilarious and adorable(especially with Sakura's crush on Yukito, Tomoyo's crush on Sakura, and Touya picking on Sakura, but playfully), but I love how it's riddled with girl power. While watching some of the first episodes I was looking forward to seeing Syaoran(partly because I love male Tsunderes and partly because I can't pronounce his name), and was surprised that he wasn't in the first few episodes, but more importantly I was so happy to see a show that treats its female characters with respect and shows women unironically receiving support from other women and being shown possessing power and authority.
I love Sakura and Tomoyo's friendship even if I hate the trope of "Lesbian Never Gets The Girl"(not that I think she's entitled to Sakura's affections or anything, but still.) and watching her support Sakura in her magic endeavors without being jealous or vindictive, I love that they're allowed to be independent and smart but that the show doesn't forget that they're kids, instead of making them like Manon and Chris, and I love that the show passes the Bechdel test in pretty much the first or second episode, and that pretty much every important and unimportant character we meet that's not Sakura's family members, Kero, or Yukito(plus maaaayyybe the Shadow Clow Card) are female.
Even little things, like all FOUR of Tomoyo's bodyguards in the second episode being female without there being a "reason" or the show making a big deal of it(either in a "yay girl power!" way or a "what but women can't x" way or an objectifying way) fills me with insurmountable joy. Also, I love that the show follows the Magical Girl trend of pretty much admitting that femininity is power, since frilly dresses are stated to be the most "fitting" thing for a Cardcaptor to wear, as without it, they might not be mentally up to the task, and this is an unironic truth rather than a joke(although Sakura is shown to be embarrassed, but it's much more likely that she's simply not used to that kind of gear due to not being rich as Tomoyo is.) or a gag.
I just thought I should tell you this because I know you like Cardcaptor Sakura, and with the crappy episodes that just came out of this show, I think you deserve to read an ask that's about a GENUINE girl power Magical Girl show, instead of yet more Miraculous Ladybug salt or Madoka Magica hate(not that there's anything wrong with either of those two, but it just gets grating after a while.). Overall, I'm looking forward to watching this show, since I've been looking for a Magical Girl show to watch nowadays(I've been meaning to watch Star Twinkle Precure but I can't find the third episode and all of Cardcaptor Sakura is on YouTube now, so.). So excited!
Hey, I’m glad that you’re having fun with it!
Though, just a warning, you might wanna steer clear of the Clear Card arc. It’s a sequel to the original series made waaaay after the original (think the equivalent of Yashahime for Inuyasha, though continuing with the original characters) but omg I hated it.
With the crappy Season 4 episodes that just came out I'm glad I got into Cardcaptor Sakura when I did. Who needs "Marinette needs to make a mistake every episode and learn something from it" when you can have genuine girl power and sweetness incarnate?
Alya could never compete with Tomoyo, I’m just sayin’.
Your comment about white men feeling "disenfranchised" because more shows are about black people and/or women(I say and/or because the two aren't mutually exclusive.), as if there aren't a million other things they could be watching instead is so true! It reminds me of how I was talking to someone recently about the new generation of MLP, in which I stated that we didn't need a male mane pony(spoiler alert: they have one, sadly.), and he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly".
Okay, so far, so good, but this I could chalk up to just unconscious internalized misogyny, especially since he didn't say it in any sort of "way". So I respectfully told him that the scale regarding representation is already not equal and that boys can look up to girls and that a show being girly is not a bad thing and all that stuff that you already know about. Then he responded claiming some stuff about how he keeps trying to pitch stories about straight white male characters and how nobody is accepting his offers and so this means that straight white men are underrepresented compared to everyone else. He even explicitly said, and I quote "White people are actually critically underrepresented in media right now. Especially boys."; I swear to the Goddess above.
At this point I was officially upset as a black girl, to hear this white(and presumably adult) man telling me that he was underrepresented in media compared to me, even saying that the media execs are practicing "quotas and tokenization"(and yes, he repeatedly used those terms for any instance of representation, even when I asked him politely to stop.) by replacing women with men or white people with pocs and are making white men look like incompetent doofuses.
He also kept saying stuff about how shows are always shoehorning people of color in where they don't belong by casting them in settings such as Shakespeare and medieval times when "realistically" there were no people of color during those time periods(which is obviously not true, it's just not what the history books show us.), and made a really insensitive comment about how black children in the USA today don't know the significance of having the first black president because the media supposedly already shows them black people in various professions(despite also claiming he couldn't speak to the "black experience" and yet here he is whitesplaining that shit.).
It got to the point where he was seriously and unironically using the word "blackwashing". When I pointed out to him that white men aren't underrepresented and that it's just his self-centered ego telling him that they are, that the word "blackwashing" isn't a thing, and that mis/underrepresentation in media DOES affect black kids negatively(even citing myself as an example) he went on to claim that I was being tone-deaf and that "blackwashing" is just as bad as whitewashing, and that making Ariel black is just as bad as making Jasmine white.
At this point I had to bang my head on the table and explain to him the difference; his ass still wouldn't get it. Eventually he started saying some really skeevy and hypocritical shite that white men say all the time when whining about how "oppressed and underrepresented" they are: that black people and/or women
(it looks like there might be an ask missing here, in which case, sorry if Tubmlr ate it!)
avor of supporting the commonly believed LIE that "women and/or minority groups don't have as much history worth learning about, so there's no point in focusing on them." He also kept using patronizing, condescending, mansplaining language such as "let me explain it to you" or "you still don't get it do you?", and when he said women had nothing to contribute to society because "oppression" he even had the nerve to tack on "welcome to the unequal society" as if I hadn't been lecturing him about just that.
Because obviously only white men did anything worthwhile or important in history. At this point, I had to block him. I couldn't take it anymore and this was on an MLP site of all places(although I'm probably just as guilty of that part, but at least I wasn't an ass!). I just can't stand white men who "want to be oppressed so bad" but still want to claim that their achievements are more important and deserve to be more prominent. Honestly, so many white men are so fragile the second they're not in the spotlight. I can't help but think that despite all the privilege afforded to their class being a white man sounds like the worst thing ever.
“he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly". “
I might be looking too deep into that but I don’t like the idea of, “Well WE squeezed in a girl and therefore YOUR SHOWS--” like it’s some sort of matter of “fairness” or that boys’ shows aren’t putting in girls out of a genuine like for them but because they “need” one or it’s some sort of obligation.
Also, we need to stop this idea that boys can’t look up to female characters and vice versa for girls. You already said it but yeah.
And yeah, I hear "quotas and tokenization" and I officially tune out of whatever the person is saying, lol. White men are critically underrepresented???? Newsflash, maybe it’s just because others are being represented more??
Just the whole thing about whites being “underrepresented” boggles my mind. White people don’t have some sort of special ability or skill that other races can’t do themselves unless you count the “superpower” of white privilege.
Like, oh my god, all that “whitesplaining” and having to read the word “blackwashing” was physically painful. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t know how they got hold of the technology to communicate with you from whatever time period their from, presumably the Stone Age.
Don’t even blame you for blocking them. There’s just a level of absolute... blindness? Arrogance??? That comes with the territory with them sometimes, I swear. You had every right to be upset; other races come to ask for equality and fair representation and suddenly you have these white men (not all obviously but damn) coming by and crying that they’re being oPpReSsEd. U_U
Like, honestly, my father in particular is absolutely that kind of person so I’ve heard that kind of stuff before. it’s all gross.
On a slightly unrelated note (trying to end this with some positivity), I hadn’t even heard about a fifth generation of MLP until I read this, and just wanted to let you know that I really hope you have a really good time with it! Hopefully the male character isn’t... well, you know.
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do you have any specific or lengthy fat/chubby jon thoughts or hcs bc if so id love to hear them, its what he deserves <3
hi, thank you for being patient with me while i gathered the spoons and thoughts to answer this! it took me longer than i’d hoped for to go back and edit my fic a little bit, despite how teeny tiny the edits are, but it also gave me some inspiration to combine this HC with some of my cooking, family and university HCs for him! i have a lot of love for it and i think it’s really warm.
i just think that he ate well as a child.
i don’t think he was underfed or neglected, i don’t think he had the capacity then to neglect himself the way he might later in life during the stressful and traumatic events of the canon storyline, and i think even with a “metabolism out of some sort of mirror dimension” (as i had georgie describe it once) there’s still a chance that for a while, he was just... comfortable!
particularly having grown up on grandma food :’-)
(which is a phrase that lives in my brain now because of this wonderful art & HC post by @b-e-n-j-a-m-i-n-s! thank HIM for the push towards chubby jon in the GTCU!)
i’d been thinking about it ever since he posted this and after ren drew this little number here, i was like, fuck it. going back to edit the first couple of chapters of two ships passing, since that’s the one where i spent the most time talking about him as a kid & some time in university! i think he would still have some baby fat around then and it’s just adorable.
i just think a lot about gaining weight as healing, to show signs of progress and comfort, especially when there is such a large culture surrounding weight loss as a signifier of being Healthy when the methods pushed to get people there are so often harmful instead.
as a fat person myself, i’d like to see (and so write!) more stories that don’t condemn bodies for whatever shape they naturally take, and allowing characters within them to embrace themselves and each other as they are! and, when applicable, explore insecurities and the mental toll that society’s treatment of particular bodies will inevitably take on a person, in a way that explores how to recover from it.
that’s something i plan to do with martin especially, but there’s definitely some of it in my concepts for tim, georgie and melanie, as well.
in terms of jon, i still think he’s on the thinner side of that spectrum, but i almost want to emphasize that it’s less, like... Traumatic Emaciation and more simply. not being fit? he’s just. not Fit.
he doesn’t exercise regularly! he scurried around a lot as a kid, but he was also a hypermobile asthmatic who had no interest in sports or getting sweaty or any of that. he had good endurance for walking, he could walk for ages, but that was about the extent of it.
the most physical activity i really put any focus on is the fact that he definitely did used to do some DDR when he worked in an arcade, and he learned some of the dances from favorite bollywood films! so he spent a lot of time just dancing around his bedroom and he never showed ANYONE that until he taught some to georgie, leo and alma in uni.
then his knee injury at 22 really benched him for a while! but he still remembers the moves ( >:3c )
so, he was a chubby kid! outright had a round face and was made of soft shapes and was still very Short so he was, like. so tiny and compact.
and then he hit a few growth spurts and it all leveled out over time, but there are always going to be little places your body just says, “okay, genetics say to anchor some fat here, so here it is!” and you just have to live with that sometimes.
it stays mostly around his tummy! little muffin top over his waistband.
g-d i love him.
i have a particular fondness for, like... the small idiosyncrasies in bodies.
things being a little uneven or a distinctive mole or birthmark somewhere or an unconventional gap in the teeth or small ears or thick eyebrows or how someone’s tummy might not quite “match” how their torso is shaped, but it’s very distinctly theirs.
in TSP CH7, when i describe jon wearing a saree for the first time, he describes his body type in relation to insecurities about it:
“It never felt like he could wrap himself up so securely, and that the problem lay with him. Him and his narrow hips and the bit of belly fat that doesn’t match his skinny chest or shoulders, how little muscle he has to his name. Even if he managed to get it to stay, it would still outline the wrong silhouette.”
most of this is social dysphoria, and the important part of the scene is how absolutely enamored georgie is the second she sees him, and they actually Talk about how important it is for him to feel safe wearing something he’s always wanted to try wearing.
but going back and adding the bit about belly fat there was important to me! the outfit included a choli top that stops just under his ribs, and he’s never really been very used to wearing clothes that show that much skin, even if he covers it up with the saree itself. baring his midriff was totally new to him, both in a gender way and a general body image way.
it was a big step for him!
and it’s nice to explore some insecurities with him because we all have them, and i like to focus on him living his life anyway with people who find him charming and love him wholly.
other people can’t heal our insecurities, but they can certainly help!
(g-d. i love writing pre-canon jon. filling in those blanks is my favorite thing to do.)
i think he’s very drawn to people who just appear at home in themselves. people who are solid and warm and good to hang onto when they’re walking together. he likes the balance. he finds them miraculous.
(i’ve said before that his type is “Big Handsome” and i stand by that.)
and frankly? i think sometimes he wishes he was structured more like that, could keep more weight on and fill himself out, but it’s just not quite what his body is built to do!
his fat distribution shifted a little as he aged and it went into some funny directions and it takes him a bit to find peace with it, i think he’s just naturally predisposed to being critical of himself despite being so strong-willed in social situations.
(which sometimes was to scare people away before they could come to judge him for the things he can’t help or change. he’s so. eye. jhbkjn.)
i also HC georgie as fat! you can see her here in this art of ren’s, too.
i really like the idea that jon and georgie both feel very at home with each other and each other’s bodies. the idea that they helped each other to love themselves a little more when they were together even if loving each other didn’t work out in the end.
i like that it was jon who suggested they deserved forgiveness for the things they spent so long denying themselves. i feel like it’s important that he said that. he was able to see that once and really mean it.
the effects of fatphobia ingrained into all of us do make it difficult for many fat people to even fathom relationships being possible much less being healthy. it’s important to me to see and portray fat people in relationships being loved and loving others and having that love be valued and sought after. georgie is a hot catch! she knows it! we all know it!
(she has her own things to overcome that i’ve written about before/plan to expand on when she’s able to have more of a focal point in PBR, but for now this will stay about jon!)
so i just really like the idea of georgie — someone jon adores and respects and feels safe with and encouraged by — being fat, and how that might make him feel more comfortable with a part of himself that certainly was involved in whatever bullying he experienced growing up.
and i especially like this because in my mind, i connect it directly to his family life and history, in a positive, nostalgic way that extends into adulthood as something that brings him great comfort.
time for the family, history and cooking HCs!
jaya @tolbyccian and i were talking just the other night about their HCs for jon’s family, and we can agree wholeheartedly on one thing:
jon grew up feeling at home sitting on kitchen counters.
as a kid, he loved being sat up there and passing utensils to whoever was doing the cooking, helping stir things, dropping stuff in pots, anything they’d let him or ask him to do.
both of our HCs for him differ greatly from one another, but race and heritage plays an important role in both of them! all the way from grandma to georgie.
i personally HC jon as jewish and indian!
his mother (sarika) was indian, and his father (isaiah) was a quarter indian himself, with a mixed race jewish/indian mother and a white father who converted to judaism for marriage.
that's a large part of jon’s grandmother's story (i named her miriam, and he calls her his dadima! which is a hindi word.)
miriam knew of her ancestry but didn't have exposure to culture due to being displaced during WWII.
her primary connection was to jewish culture through her surrogate sister, ruth, who was with her in the farmhouse that she ended up in when she was moved to england.
ruth insisted that they both remember their prayers and recipes and everything they could while they had to suppress themselves, and so miriam held onto that for a long time.
she and her husband agreed to raise isaiah jewish, and isaiah and sarika agreed to do the same with jon, as sarika was never particularly religious herself and they all agreed that given the family's history, it was important to keep this part of it alive.
a large part of keeping things alive in their house meant food.
many of the recipes that miriam ended up with were from her friends at synagogue, people she met as she grew older and established herself within that community in the absence of recipes from her own parents.
what sarika also had, was food!
it’s her recipes that really made the difference, and that really linger in jon’s head for the rest of his life. miriam’s recipes were comfortable, but sarika’s were fun.
she used to cook a lot in the house, all-day-long sort of cooking, and jon remembers that as best he can given how hazy his memories of his parents are.
sarika and miriam connected on this, as well. they all lived in the same house together (all the roomier when miriam’s husband died, even more so when isaiah fell, and so on.)
miriam had been able to cling onto her jewish heritage on her mother’s side, but not so much indian culture on her father’s!
having sarika in the family was something she loved very dearly. they worked together, they uplifted and encouraged each other, and they held things together in the short time when they were the two that were left.
but even before that? sarika introducing indian recipes into the house was something miriam latched onto with her entire heart.
miriam, like jon, is autistic! and cooking was one of her special interests, alongside maritime history and the ocean.
so, she was very good with establishing routines.
after sarika's death, miriam started up a new tradition: bebe night!
every year on sarika’s birthday, she and jon would cook what they still had of her favorite recipes: chana masala, simple biryani, dahl with rice, paneer, naan and raita, so on and so forth.
jon loved bebe night. it made the time surrounding those anniversaries a lot less painful, and gave them a means to celebrate sarika’s life instead of dwelling fully on the loss of her, or sweeping it under the rug.
his associations with “tradition” as a concept are very strongly rooted in his very small family and the glancing memory of when he had a bigger one, if a little less in the grand scheme of broader community.
he’s very much someone who tends towards a narrow focus in most areas of life (very beholding of him, again.) and so being able to have this is really important to him.
i just think food is one of his love languages.
food was a huge part of how he was shown love and nourishment and encouragement growing up, and so it’s a part of how he expresses it as an adult!
he makes big batches of things and then gives away leftovers as necessary, even if he pretends it’s not a big deal.
he will NOT let you help him with the food itself, but he will occasionally let you stand in the kitchen, or sit on the counter (if there’s a lot of room very far away from his work station.)
and if he asks for your help?
i think one day in uni, he was cooking aloo gobi.
(for georgie, of course. he spent some time looking for new recipes that didn’t rely on meat to fill the space left by all of his bebe’s old favorites that did. it was nice to look through websites and books together marking down things they were both interested in. it was nice to see him get excited to try something new.)
georgie was leaning on the counter and chatting with him while he diced the russet potatoes and he asked her to get a head start on frying the cumin seeds for him, the same way he might ask her to glance out the window for the weather.
until they pop, he said. i should be done with these in time to stir in the onions myself.
i think that’s the moment she knew for certain. not that she loved him — she figured that out a few months ago listening to him rip apart some cheesy paranormal investigation show they’d left on the telly, until she offered to turn it off and he said, what? no, i’m having fun.
she knew she loved him. he’d already said he loved her, too.
that was just the moment she knew he meant it.
it’s also just one of his favorite things to do in the autistic way!
he loves the mathematics of following a recipe. of getting something exactly right, and feeling accomplished.
but what he loves even more is being able to become so confident in what he’s doing that he can comfortably deviate from the guidelines and make adjustments that make it just right. special, and memorable, and fun.
this is why the indian recipes are his personal favorite when he wants to decompress; the spices!
the sheer amount of spices he gets to work with is like a puzzle. there are so many pieces, and one little addition or missing something else can change the whole taste.
it’s one of the only times he enjoys the pursuit of discovery. the “maybe i’ll try to put a little spin on something i know i love.”
it won’t scare him out of trying again, or frustrate him into giving up on it.
bebe never got angry at him for tapping too much turmeric into a pot. dadima never got angry at him for a bit of shell falling into the bowl with an egg he almost cracked perfectly.
no one will be angry with him if it’s not exactly the same or better than the last time he made it; they’re just going to be happy to eat.
so he doesn’t get angry with himself when he makes a mistake, either. it’ll still be worth something. it’s a very forgiving art.
he likes feeling proud of himself! it’s a productive activity that results in a tangible show of his effort and skill, it provides actual benefit, and he can give it away. he can show off a little! he can have something that’s his, and that people know him for, and look forward to, and cherish.
that feels amazing to him, you know? it makes him feel peaceful, and happy. it’s something he really, truly loves.
even if he doesn’t do it near as often (or, eventually, at all) when things go south for him, there was a time in his life when it was his favorite thing to do! and in an ideal world, it’s something he can get back.
just like the little bit of weight on his belly that says he’s doing well.
put simply, then:
if his heart was a room in a house it would be a kitchen.
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and Another thing
re/ the ergi discussion re/ drengr etc—
I feel like what’s really missed here when talking about cultural norms at that time is the true contrast between níðr and either of those two other things. It was always better to be drengr than ergi, but both was better than níðr. You can’t talk about these things in a vacuum. There was more to society than whether you were drengr or ergi—there just was.
For example, yes, drengr wasn't restricted to men; it was more of the cultural sense of what was expected of most people, and for certain, people of power and/or means. Drengr is bravery of the self. Just as honor to community didn't mean martyrdom, this courage didn't mean toxic pride nor vicious cruelty. It was self-control. It is, in essence, boundary work: consistently being able to stand up for yourself and your actions, to be appropriately assertive in your responses, and show fair play.
Ergi had those passive connotations I spoke about in my previous post, which included observational skills, often the ones that led to a variety of magic (although you’ll notice the berserker-úlfhéðnar-skipta hǫmum type magic wasn’t considered ergi and I’m sure you don’t need to be led to why). This “hesitation” was "cowardly,” and being on the receiving end of information was less valued that the one powering the information. This is why ergi comes into play as likening men to women, both from a social construct setting as well as, later, sexual slang (bottoming for men—mind you, topping wasn’t ergi—and horniness for women, how weird they want it like a man does).
Just as men could be ergi for practicing magic (even Óðinn was called ergi!), and women could be ergi, women could also be drengr. (Shieldmaidens, anyone?) These “gendered” concepts were based in expectations but were not exclusive to gender. I think maybe that’s why they went with coward in AC:Valhalla: to emphasize the cultural component over the slang. However! Let’s get back to níðr! It was no joke. To have the status of níðr was to be deemed shameful; a villain, avoided, reviled, and untrustworthy—a níðingr.
Typical causes for such disgrace included: desertion; treachery; shameful acts (such as killing kinsmen or defenseless people); breaking one's oath. When a man betrayed the trust of another man, that man would become known as a níðingr. This person wasn’t a coward: he was a problem. You couldn’t count on him to contribute to society. You couldn’t rely on him as a friend or a neighbor, or a brother-in-arms. He was unpredictable, untrustworthy—useless.
Okay, cool? Cool. Let’s get back to drengr/ergi. Not useless.
Sometimes, if someone had it out for you, ergi could land you as níðr if you failed to defend yourself (failing to defend yourself when insulted? not a good look). Ergi ≠ níðr; it wasn’t a perfect circle venn diagram, you could be ergi without being níðr. Drengr was a state of existing, a way of being and moving through the world, a default setting, even, if you well. People didn’t call people drengskapr regularly; this was what was expected of you. To be called drengskapr outright meant you did something really noteworthy. So, what else was involved in being “manly,” if that’s how we’re going to code drengr?
Being a good fucking person.
No really. It wasn’t just Hi here’s my dick, fuck you, eat my sword—drengr (as aforementioned) was about being composed of the self and an asset to community. Keeping friðr, for example—maintaining social contracts and bonds in a peaceful way, agreement not to cause physical harm to each other. There’s luck, honor, reputation, hospitality—all key components of functioning in this society. You didn’t know when you were going to be the one that needed help, so you helped where you could. Being a good viking was about interdependence—not about toxicity.
(*At least as much as I’ve learned in all of my research.)
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Sometimes I think about the concept of binary gender in society and I just get so mad. Like. Your body looks more or less like this, so that means you have to act like this, and do this kind of work, and wear this, and only socialize with people whose body looks like yours except for having sex. And if you don't, we'll make your life miserable if not outright kill you. And people were okay with this?????? What the fuck?
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Supporting anti LGBTQ Palestinians
Then why you cancel Non-PC celebrities like Gina Carano? Chris Evans? Gal Gadot? Donald Trump conviction understandable. But Hypocritical, what happened to the value for them if “even non-pc foreigners should be spared genocide” and now some left wing hate mobs are wanting to punish severely/or kil* those mentioned. Does the supporting wrong things/holding wrong beliefs rule only apply to the unvictimized at the moment, but you then try to hurt and cancel them so they too become fucked // Then why you want to fuck up non-PC celebrities for what if you don’t for international non-PC figures and “activists”? Double standards
Then why you say don’t tolerate or even be neighbourly with the Trump supporters locally, or army warfans. If you willingly support a whole protesting group’s goal even if it may have militant, violent or bigoted members, might as well support the no-better Pr*ud Boys and trump-love hong kong+falun gong and c0p “thinblueline” then! What’s the difference. Same theme, when the former underdogs come into power they’ll screw up and then you’ll have to trash them too, all your efforts go down the crapper then. Why are you still trying to pretend in hope to become famous and seen as this pure activist to be w0rshipped then. Your mission is one of smug self righteousness, not even republican or As*ian, but the word baizuo fits you too well(Look it up on Urban Dict!). Repeating the same actions of the things you are against but hamstering it off because you label yourself on “the other side so it’s ok” but it’s the same actions //
I did not write this, nor understand wtf they’re going on about. Try to answer some of their ramblings...(ps-great they, again, can send this anon-cowards).
a-people in power, overall, should not be in power. those who want power usually shouldn’t get it. Seriously-60% of all wealth is inherited-the same fucking douchebags have ruled us for CENTURIES.
b-influencers/celebs-if they are on the wrong side of a topic, SHAME them. If they do not change their minds, cancel them. They are only as powerful as we allow. You think the kardashians would be rich in 10 years if we just never gave them time or money? doubtful. <side note-jenner going to president/governor is one of the largest wastes of money ever. Think of how many lives could be saved with all that money wasted...>
c-did I ever say for having the wrong concepts/idea that you should DIE for it? Hell no. I don’t even believe in the death penalty, really. Just jail people forever if they are truly evil, like bezos. But I can tell you this much-ain’t too much learning/evolving/growing when you are running from bombs and bullets non stop. Celebs live in big houses, have a lot of time and resources to learn. Hateful Palestinians do not have access to that. Big difference.
d-how the FUCK did trump get brought into this? the only good thing trump did was be the dumbest fuck ever as president, and exposed how corrupt EVERYONE in power is.
e-that is why any system by DEFAULT is not only kept in check by the people (federal virtue society-cops against the government, strict STRICT durations you can work in government OVERALL, no lobbying, no electoral college, no federal reserve, more social services, less cops,), but, at the end of the day, its’ central focus should be making everyone, everyone self sufficient, independent, and free of constant struggle from outside parties.
f-if we had to boil it down, then go with ‘save some of these bad people (cuz not all are anti lgbqt) from these far far worse people.’ Cuz it’s easier to make someone who is being oppressed understand why it’s wrong to be oppressed...
g-I never wanted to be famous, even when I wanted to be an actor. But fame means simply people listen to you on a larger scale so, sadly, I have to get famous. I have always held the idea, forever, of ‘save the world, then go on with my life.’ Seriously-I contemplated a thought I am sure you haven’t-if you could save the world, and NO ONE would know (maybe not even yourself) would you still do it? Answer is OF COURSE. if everything gets better, who cares if I ain’t recognized for it. I can see the results, and they’re amazing.
h-I have no idea why you wrote me this, anon, attacking me. you’re either confused, jealous, or stupid, cuz most of what you said was ramblings off of things I never said. I haven’t talked about trump in forever, yet, you threw him into the mix...I am for everyone, everywhere. That does not mean stupid people or bad people should get into power. THey should be shamed. You think I want power? The only power I ever would want is to stop bad people from getting into power. REAL power? Holy fuck man, I would lose my shit if It was up to me who lived and died. I ain’t the trolley operator. I just want to make sure I can trust whomever is...
Hi. Here are my 'obscure questions' for you: 15, 20, 35, and 36.
I am very stoked that people are still sending me asks for this. Thanks, anon!
15. do you prefer space or the ocean?
I like studying space more than I like studying the ocean, but I like looking at both of them equally and would much rather travel to the ocean than space. (As much as I love space, I do not want to go there. So many ways to die horribly. Also, I think I'd get horrible motion sickness like Lana in the space episodes of Archer.)
20. do you believe in god(s)?
Nope. The idea never really clicked with me even though I was raised with religion. I'm Jewish, so we don't have the same conception of god actively working in people's lives the way Christians do. (Which has always bothered me, it feels like they believe the good things you do are from god and the bad things you do are your fault. Idk if that's true, that's just the impression I've gotten.)
There's a joke that Judaism requires you to believe in one god or fewer; most of our commandments (613 total) involve doing good deeds rather than believing in god, and blind faith is discouraged. (We love asking questions and arguing instead.) Judaism isn't about theism vs. atheism because it's a religion, a culture, and an ethnicity, so you can still identify as a Jew and practice Judaism without belief in god. Generally we're about works over faith so you're judged based on your actions, not your beliefs. (I consider someone like Bernie Sanders very Jewish because even though he's not religious, his ideas of justice and service to society are deeply rooted in Jewish philosophy.) I'm not a huge fan of organized religion in general but I do think Judaism is a pretty decent one if you have to choose.
35. when you get angry, how do you show it?
I answered this before in a previous ask, but the tl;dr of it is that I try not to express my anger outwardly if it's a me problem (which it usually is; I can get pretty irritable), but if I'm angry at someone I'll try to confront them calmly about it. I have been through an absolute fuckload of therapy to be able to do this.
36. do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.)
I'm a compulsive skin picker (especially if I have chapped lips), but thankfully I haven't done too much damage to my body from that. I'll also play with my eyebrow hair or pinch my upper lip so my philtrum folds like a taco. (It's weirdly comforting.) I also like touching soft things, so sometimes I'll rub my palms over my thighs when I'm wearing soft pants or pull my t-shirt up so the collar rests between my nose and mouth. If I'm sitting in a desk chair I will swivel back and forth for a long time without realizing it.
I'm a fidgety person in general and it's only in the past few years that I've come to realize that my fidgeting has a lot in common with stimming, and that my parents done fucked up refusing to have me screened for autism back when I was 2. (tl;dr version: I wasn't playing with the other kids in my nursery school and was instead reading or playing alone, but my parents — who both worked with people with intellectual disabilities! — dismissed my teacher's concerns because I didn't flap my hands or rock or do the other kinds of stims that autistic boys typically do.) Meanwhile I tick off a lot of the boxes for ADHD/autism symptoms in girls, but it's very hard to get screened for autism as an adult in the US without spending hundreds of dollars out of pocket. Anyway, I'm not really sure what a diagnosis would actually do to improve my life in any material way aside from me being able to say "I'm autistic" rather than "I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum."
Ironically, a while ago I tried flapping my hands to see what that would do and it made me feel very calm. I don't think that's supposed to happen if you're neurotypical.
If you’d like to ask me more questions, here’s the post!
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Neptune through the Houses: Thoughts/Decisions that (potentially) plague your mind Pt.2
Hello my lovely peoples. Part 2 is finally ready and I spent a lot of time researching this instead of studying for my operations management exam, so I really hope you enjoy lol.
Neptune in 7th House: Is this relationship going to be good for me? Should I leave them or try to make things work? Am I ready to let go of them and move on? Should I continue to put work into this relationship? Should we stay together? Do I need a relationship? Am I willing to compromise to make this work with them? What will it take to be with this person? Is this what I need in a relationship?
Neptune in 8th House: Is my sex life fulfilling to me? What is it going to take for me to connect with them on a deeper level? Am I willing to give it all for this person or will they take everything and leave? How do I spice things up with this person? To spend or not to spend? Do I need to give up my spirituality and sex life/ sexuality in order to get my dreams fulfilled? Can I be open about the supernatural here or do I need to keep it on the down low? Is there a deeper meaning to this or am I reading to much into things?
Neptune in 9th House: Is being faithful in my religion/spirituality what I want? Is it even real? Will I gain luck and abundance if I manifest it? (Yes boo, you will, but remember to also put in the work. Manifesting is half the process.) Is there someone that can help me do this or do I need to take on this responsibility myself? Is higher learning/college for me? Should I just drop out of school and feel my way through life? Does this person/thing/concept serve me in my growth? Do I need to be more practical and grounded or will my faith/spirituality do the work for me?
Neptune in 10th House: Do I do something that makes me happy or do I follow conventionality? Do I go with the crowd or do I swim upstream? What do I want to do with my life? Where do I want to be in the future? Which direction should I choose to go in? Does the work I do bring me fulfillment or am I unsatisfied with where I am? (Baby, go chase your dreams, but don't lose sight of the process that'll get you there. k?)
Neptune in 11th House: Would they want to be my friend? Should I set clear boundaries with my friends? But what if I hurt them by doing so? I've reached my goal, but is it what I wanted? Would they enjoy the things I like or nah? Do they pass the vibe check? What can I do to make the world a better place? Will they support my cause or oppose it? Are my current friends good for me or not? Should I find better friends? Will I hurt their feelings if I speak my mind?
Neptune in 12th House: Should I be more optimistic about life? Should I express myself more directly? Do I need to take my responsibilities more seriously or just...y'know..."fuck it, who cares"? Am I hated by society? Should I just ditch this shithole and go live in a swamp or mountain away from it all? But what if they need me? Why am I so sensitive?
I hope this resonates with you and if it doesn't then it's perfectly fine. I am by no means a professional astrologer, but I am trying my best. If you have any tips to help me improve don't be afraid to share them. Have a seductively divine day loves.
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