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#like… I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever seen a show where it’s been THIS specific before
stellalunes · a day ago
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I’ve been binge reading 911 fic lately to fill the void and I feel like I should write a specific rec list of all the times fic writers predicted something specific in season 4 because holy shit there are some weirdly specific ones.
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yourbuckies · 15 days ago
(Sorry in advance that this is long) I just stumbled upon your post about all the recent Sebastian drama spanning from July and I just want to say thank you for being one of the few people on the internet that makes sense. I’m Asian and I wasn’t a fan of Sebastian’s (I liked Bucky, but never looked into him) when the whole girlfriend thing happened, and even then I just remember thinking "this is so fucking stupid." And even now with the whole Buddha thing, I just think it's so shallow and 1/?
damaging to respond to something so innocently-intentioned and ultimately not a big deal with the same backlash that one would with an actual hate crime or legitimate prejudice. It blurs the line of what racism actually is, it pisses people off, and it pushes them away from whatever "cause" these armchair activists are trying to support. Sure, I can see how the photo was mildly disrespectful, as someone who grew up around Buddhism. But is it worth all this outrage? Absolutely not. He didn’t 2/?
commit a hate crime, he didn’t throw around slurs, he didn’t even do anything outrageous with the statue (ie. flip it off or throw it, etc). These people are acting like he fucking killed somebody. I didnt even think "I'm offended" when I saw it, all I thought was "twitter isn't going to like this." I feel like that says a lot, honestly. I've always had such a big problem with social media activists, and this whole situation is just another example of why. These people don't care about the 3/?
issues they're relentlessly attacking people over. They just want to feel like they’re a good person and show everyone else that they're great because they care enough to make an incredibly hateful tweet in the name of a social issue. It's all so self-righteous, and the way they're doing it is unbelievably harmful in terms of actual progress for actual social issues. The whole point of activism is trying to educate people and get them on your side. Ever since social media activism, I've seen 4/?
more people than ever say they feel less and less inclined to be involved because these “activists” are actually dividing people and alienating anyone that doesn’t already think like them by being aggressive and rude and unforgiving. Especially for stuff that literally doesn’t matter, such as this whole Sebastian debacle. I wish people understood that if they’re posting stuff that only people who already agree with them would like, then there’s literally no point to what they’re doing. 5/5
i'm gonna respond to this final one cause it's mostly about what i glossed over here, when i said i fundamentally disagree with how stan/fandom approaches activism. but yes, i largely agree. i'm a woc - i've mentioned that before in an old entirely unrelated ask, but i didn't bring it up for any of this cause i generally believe that you should determine whether or not you agree with a point by the strength of my reasoning, rather than being worried you're going to be perceived as racist/sexist for disagreeing with a woc.
i think the disproportionate response is smth i'm struggling with - i think we can generally agree that even if you think he's fucked up in the past, he's done nothing to warrant a year (and possibly more, judging by the twt accounts of the ppl at the center of this) long campaign against him. it's disproportionate to put so much focus on just him when like you said, there are so many issues out there that genuinely needs attention that they don't ever look at unless it's handed to them in the form of already viral twts, so it is really hard for me to take at face value ppl presenting this out of all things as their demonstration of allyship.
and yeah, i basically had the exact same reaction to the picture. i saw it, went, oh ppl are gonna make a big deal about this, and then was kinda surprised when no one said anything for a while. the same ppl who fawned over it for hours until they were told it was problematic did a complete 180, which isn't a bad way to approach smth if you're told you're wrong, except in their case, they didn't know it was problematic so they're in the clear, but he must have posted it with full intent to offend.
and to your point about the point of social media activism, this is actually a topic i've been struggling with for the past few years. sm activism is increasingly useless because with certain exceptions where being loud is what helps best, everything is treated the exact same way. apart from literally donating money, if your approach to activism is the exact same for every single issue, which is just publicly being loud, you're not doing anything.
but i think this also comes from the way we've learned activism on social media, which largely comes in neatly packaged phrases you get in a viral posts/twts; "silence is complicity" "cultural appropriation" "your feelings are valid" "hold ppl accountable" etc. but these threads don't have space for nuance, and there's no critical thinking applied after ppl read them.
cultural appropriation originally entered the public conversation as a way for ppl to be cognizant that multiculturalism isn't a free for all. because of historical and cultural context (which varies country to country!), not everything in a different culture will be for you too. sometimes it'll only be for you if you're invited, sometimes only if you're invited by specific ppl of that community. but we've gotten to this place where cultural appropriation is now just segregationist, but woke, and you end up with stuff like this, where you actually end up hurting the group you're trying to support:
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this was also a part of my issue about july - i didn't actually think what ale did was cultural appropriation. she didn't wear it in a disrespectful way, she didn't try to claim it as her own - the thing that was a microaggression was actually of the conflation of jpn/chinese cultures, but that doesn't fall neatly under the buzzword of cultural appropriation for you to explain when someone asks why you're sending this specific woman death threats!
and it's not just this issue where we're kind of going backwards. if you're in the lgbt community it's not uncommon to see theory now that borderlines on homophobic. gen z is especially obsessed with posting pronouns publicly, which originally was supposed to normalize it so it'd be easier for those that want to have them but are scared, but now they use as a shorthand for whether or not someone is a bigot. if your assumption is that everyone but bigots has a public pronoun, you're going to be forcing a lot of ppl to misgender themselves, or come out when they're not ready, all to not be deemed Problematic. glaad actually did a survey that showed 18-34 years old are becoming more uncomfortable with the lgbt community, and while it doesn't say why, i figure stuff like this doesn't help.
and it's the same when it comes to activism should be about educating/getting ppl onto your side. it's clearly not now, and just largely about your own appearances. this is a good thread about why i'm not a huge fan of the whole silence is complicity idea wrt to sm, but basically it's just this:
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but at the end of the day i don't have an answer for any of this. it took us years to get to this point, and it'll probably take even longer to realize we've gone too far on issues, if there ever is a reckoning for it. i don't know if that'll ever happen fully in fandom spaces - i think ppl like the ones that started this are very aware they're using this as a cudgel; they have no problem with this behavior in their faves, and they regularly exhibit it themselves. i also think there is too much fear of being "cancelled" or at least piled on for hours having abuse hurled at you if you disagree.
anyways i could go on for a bit, but we're not solving anything today. i don't really have a neat wrap up for this either, but i hope you have a good day, anon.
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opaljm · 18 days ago
not gonna lie, but i liked you better when you were just doing your own little thing on tumblr. youre hybrid stories were so good and your hades!taehyung story was so promising. but now instead of writing and posting fics- literally where is eye of the tiger it's been more than a year since you teased it and where is turbulent part three?! your becoming a shooter for people that dont even like you as much as you like them. why do you hype up hantaev and chateautae when they never hype you up naia. i dont think they've ever read a single thing by you either. naia their never gonna become your bsfs and its pathetic to see you keep trying 💀 you should just write and post your fics (you know the ones that we ACTUALLY WANT) why did you even release yours truly. just give us eott youve had more than a year to work on it i dont get it. the more you draw it out the less people will care when you finally post it.
Um wow. Okay so, my readers know I have a policy of not answering hate asks and in general the treatment I get from my readers is so good and so pure and I'm always grateful for it but it seems like this motherfucker wants to ruin that relationship, but you know what? I have thick skin and I don't even know if you're actually one of my readers or you're one of those toxic anons that @hantaev and @chateautae have, that decided to come over here and bother me now.
The reasons why I'm suspicious whether or not you're even one of my followers or just fine combed my blog to find ways to hurt me is because I have actually explicitly stated why there is no Turbulent part 3 yet (It's a drabble series that I work on when I have inspiration for it or when I am not working on other works. But I literally have so many WIPs right now. All my readers know that Turbulent is the least of my priorities and they're so respectful of that).
And when it comes to Eye of the Tiger, I've literally stated that I've lost over 20k words of the fic when the file got corrupted and that actually put me into a slump and not want to write that fic anymore. Since then I've decided to completely rework the plot into something that I would want to write again. I had made it into a chaptered form before changing it back to a one-shot. It's even on my list of WIPs for this year. But let's assume for a second that you actually have read my stories and you're not a random anon from the depths of hell. Congratulations! You have delayed Eye of the Tiger for everyone. I was going to work on it next month but now it looks like everyone is going to have to wait until August at earliest. I also don't care if you think that Eye of the Tiger's anticipation is going to die down and no one ends up reading it when I finally do post it. It's not like you have clairvoyance and can see the future.
Now moving onto you insulting Yours, Truly and saying no one wants it. Anon, just because you love Taehyung to the alarming degree that you keep harassing creators for their Taehyung fics just cuz it's not set to your specification or whatever the fuck does not mean that everyone else is such a rabid crazy Taehyung stan. It literally makes no sense for me to put more importance onto your opinion of Yours, Truly over the hundreds of people who have reblogged and hearted it and even asked to be on the tag list. Not to toot my own horn but I really like Yours, Truly and I wish you would open your eyes so you could enjoy it like everyone else. Except I don't know that I want someone like you on my page so 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it's a blessing in disguise that you don't like Yours, Truly and won't be able to bother me about it in the future.
I left this for last because it's literally so stupid that I even have to address this. Anon, I don't think you realize this but Hads and Sammy are friends in real life, they are the type of friends that talk every day, facetime and text, and send each other presents. Not only that but they are also the same age. IN contrast, I am... get this... their online friend. I am not as deeply involved in their lives as they are in each others lives. And you know what that's perfectly fine and I'm okay with it, maybe one day it'll turn into something IRL maybe not, it's cool we're chilling either way. Also, I can't believe I even have to say this but anon do you realize that Sammy and Hads are both 19 and I am 23? I'm actually rubbing my forehead right now because there is literally no situation where it's normal or acceptable for a 23 year old to be jealous of a relationship that two 19 year olds have with each other. I just treat them like my little babies that I'm so so proud of.
If you think I'm trying too hard to be their friends, I feel like you genuinely have never seen people act kindly towards others without expecting anything in return. It literally costs me nothing to interact with them and brighten up their days. Also maybe it's my age but I'm not insecure about whether or not my mutuals read my fics or constantly reblog and promote it. We are all so busy I'm never going to ever demand that from someone. Sammy and Hads don't demand anything from me either. How can you say Hads as never read anything by me when she's listed as the beta reader of Yours, Truly (yet another reason why I think you have never read it but are just insulting it because you can)? Sammy has given me private updates of how much she's enjoyed my work. Just because she or Hads never posted a review for YOU to see on multiple works doesn't mean that they don't read and support my stuff. And it's so weird that you're claiming that about them but you're not holding me to the same standard? The last time I reviewed one of Sammy's Maybe I Do chapters was probably for chapter 4 but I've privately been keeping her updated on my progress with reading her fic. I haven't even read Hads' Before Dawn yet. But you know what? It's fine. We're all okay with it and we don't have insecurities like that, we understand that we will all read and support each other's fics when we can and when we're free. I feel like as you get older you realize that friendship is not just what you can physically show off to others its more so all the ways you can be there for someone. I thank Allah that Sammy, Hads, and I are all so much more understanding than you are and that there is not even an ounce of toxicity in our relationship.
Lastly, maybe I'm not jealous of Sammy and Hadiyah being best friends because I have my own best friends? @vivian146 is literally the light of my life and we're going on strong for almost 7 years 😭😭😭
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lumoshyperion · 19 days ago
I do have a few questions about Year 2:
What is your favorite thing about Sean? About Nyx? About them together on stage?
Aside from the main seven, who is your favorite character/portrayal?
Best costume? Favorite costume? Costume you’d like to make? (I believe you’ve replicated some!)
Please share, even if in another post, some things about this last show.
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It's so hard to choose just one favourite thing about Sean. A bunch of us stood outside the theatre after cast change, talking to her about the show and listening to her thank us for our support over the years, and I just... I don't know - I've seen a lot of theatre and I've met a lot of theatre people in my time as both an audience member and a theatre maker and I genuinely feel that they're one of the kindest, most passionate people I've met in the industry. And that has always shone through in the way they play Albus. Her empathy and love for the character has been such a constant over the years and it's made her feel like the heart and soul of the play. She said that it felt like she was ready to leave Albus behind. But that they were worried the character wouldn't be held and cared for once they left the company. Those were the words they used and it utterly broke me. I think it's that care and specific love for Albus that I'm going to miss the most. Cursed Child isn't a perfect play, but Sean always elevated it. And I know that whatever they do next will be brilliant. Performance wise, I think I'll miss her Albus's sense of joy the most? Albus is easy to play as angry or selfish, but Sean never really fell into that. They're always smiling and laughing. Whenever Scorpius says something about their friendship, Sean's Albus gets this look of soft surprise and awe, before looking away and smiling. When they come out of the lake after the dark AU, they can't stop giggling. In Godric's Hollow, they're scared and anxious and heartbroken at the sight of James and Lily. But Scorpius makes them laugh. There was a moment last night, when they ran offstage together - I think it was after "let's find some wands and get potioning" - where Sean let out the most wonderful, carefree laugh. I'll miss that. I'll miss that a lot.
And I love Nyx's sense of humour. I love their creativity. I love how thoughtfully they portray Scorpius - giving him the most sensitive, incredible arc in the play that took me totally off guard when I first saw them a year ago at cast change. The line that encapsulates their Scorpius the most is "sometimes I'm capable of more bravery than he might think I am." In the first scene on the train, they're so nervous and guarded, as if they already know that Rose and Albus are going to leave like the other student did. But, throughout the play, you watch this character grow more brave and confident and bright. Scorpius grows up in the play. He learns his own value, outside of being a Malfoy and being Albus's best friend. He learns to be brave. Tom's Draco stands over Nyx in Saint Jerome's when they're waiting for Delphi. And I know it's a bit of blocking that every production has, but... there's just something so indescribable in the way Tom looks at them. There's so much pride in his expression and it feels like the most beautiful culmination of their arc. It's about discovering who you are and who you want to be. It's about going through years of bullying and nasty rumours from the Wizarding World, and choosing to be kind and loyal in spite of all that. I also love how clear it is that their Scorpius isn't straight. They're extremely unbothered by Polly. They barely flirt with Rose in the last scene, mostly just smiling a little in surprise at her "Scorpion King" gesture. I don't know how much of that is intentional, but I love it and it was one of the first things we all noticed last year.
And god, I just... I'm going to miss seeing them together so much. I don't think this cast change would have been so hard if it weren't for Covid. They were both robbed of a full run together. They've become so close, onstage and off, and they could have had so much more time together, and it was cut short. And it makes me feel so sad. They're so incredible together. I've never seen a pair of performers work so well together before - you watch them and you can just feel the rapport and the love. It's like Delphi says, "you belong together." And they do. They're like puzzle pieces, they complete each other. It's been such an honour watching them work together and I already miss seeing them together... so much. I'm tearing up, just typing this.
And ughhhh it's so hard to pick a favourite outside of the main seven, there's just so many performances that I love??? I love Gillian's subtle manipulation as Delphi, I love how she molds herself into someone Albus and later Scorpius would trust and even care for. I love how feral and terrifying she is after the owlery - and how vulnerable and childish she is in Saint Jerome's, and whenever she talks about Voldemort. I love George's fierce love for his son as Amos, and I love watching him openly weep as he talks to Harry in his office as Dumbledore. I loved Sloane's shy, lovable Craig who just wants to help. I loved Louis and Simon in all their various swing tracks, and I loved watching them messing around and having the time of their lives in the first and third tasks. I loved Kuda's Rose - her sensitivity and care for Albus, which I wasn't expecting and which made me cry when I saw her in the role. I love Jess and her absolutely chaotic Myrtle who has the audience in the palm of her hand the entire time she's onstage. I love the dignity and compassion of Soren's Sorting Hat as he watches over Scorpius and Albus throughout the years. I love the way Debra imbodies McGonagall so perfectly that she feels lifted right out of the pages. She's funny and warm, but still fierce and commanding when she needs to be. The scene in her office after the boys come out of the lake is one of my favourites in the play - it's so clear from the way Debra plays the role and how she talks about it that she's put so much thought into it. I loved the charisma and ferocity of Iopu's Bane, and the weight and care he gave every single line. I loved the way Manali played Rose as a daughter who looks up to her mum and wants to be just like her when she grows up, and I loved watching her expressions on the staircase outside the office after In Trouble Again as she slowly broke before running into her mother's arms. I loved the way David's Cedric was so brave and heroic, and yet so impossibly young that my heart always breaks a little when he thanks Albus and runs offstage. I loved the innate sense of joy in Hamish's Karl. I loved the maturity of Connor's Yann. I love this cast so much. Letting go of some of them was much more difficult than I ever expected. It's impossible to imagine the show without them.
And is there anything specific you want to know about the last performance?
Ask me questions about Cursed Child Melbourne Year Two!
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hiriajuu-suffering · 20 days ago
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My views on Heteronormative Feminism are...problematic?
I didn’t used to think this way, I used to think men and women were morally equal, that generally both genders had the same conceptions for happiness. Having gone through almost 90% of my 20s, I can’t feel the same. I’m unable to feel the same. I’m totally numb to feminine experience because it garners no empathy of giving value to others intrinsically. While I think toxic femininity is a direct result of patriarchal norms, ultimately, feminism itself champions these negative traits rather than highlight them as repercussions of the patriarchy.
Women don’t find men attractive beyond what they can provide. Women don’t want men, they want the additional 22% average earnings a man makes to be taken away from the man they’re with and be given (most likely unearned) to them. Women don’t want sex with men, they’re driven by the biological need for sperm to reproduce to think they want men but are nurtured into thinking women are more attractive than men, thereby making it such that their attraction to any masculinity outside of a normative conception be nullified. Women don’t like men, the natural tendency for any pending issue in their lives is diverting blame to those in power instead of taking responsibility. Women don’t treat men as equals, men’s social opinions are automatically deemed lesser due to what male privilege provides (though female privilege affords basic things social instincts like interacting with children and acknowledging feelings) whilst adding toxic masculinity to the act of sex itself by assuming men are devoid of attachment oxytocin.
Women are Hobbesian, men are Lockean. I’m, of course, referring to state of nature theories here. Men’s desire to promote conflict and strife for the advance of power/status is a direct result of what the women said men desire and the perceived deficits women have of a men. Why are all the shortest dictators in history the most violent? Why is one of the largest postmodern marketing tropes about penis size (arguably eclipsing cup size)? Why do men prioritize their physical appearance (meathead culture) in a contrast where the feminine narrative is body positivity? Why don’t we talk about how men feel and why men (not just attempting) killing themselves at higher rates? A woman can rightfully feel fulfilled by simply being a parent, but a man has to be a good parent, professional, provider, lover, advisor, counselor, and source of emotional support all in one. It doesn’t matter what’s in a woman’s bank account to anyone, but it always matters what’s in a man’s bank account to a woman. A woman is a more attractive public figure because men flock to her, a man can’t fly through the roof in the same way because masculinity caps at normativity (hence why women pull more than 70% of the views on twitch/youtube while being less than 10% of the content base and having a generally lesser level of expertise in their target niche).
Our crossroads is heteronormative femininity gets every social advantage imaginable which systemic barriers remain in place in which men get punished for. Feminism shouldn’t be at the expense of men, any decent feminist should tell you this. Yet, frankly, it most often is. OnlyFans culture is the exploitation of men’s desirability complexes, the model itself doesn’t function when you ask women to pay to see men at that level of intimacy (and no, that has nothing to do with the wage gap). Women have a unique advantage of having the option to sell their body, labor, or mind; men can practically only sell their labor with a small possibility of their mind. The unavailability for a man to sell ones body professionally means while men “get paid more on average,” they will always have less opportunity because society will always pick a woman first. Heck, if we were to take the wage gap literally, it’s economically advantageous to pay equal work for 82% of its worth, meaning women have more opportunity to partake in occupational freedom holistically. Alimony and child support law is a relic of patriarchal norms all feminism ignores for its own benefit.
I can’t find myself to be a moral agent force for good if my physiological need to reproduce is making me beholden to the desires of women. What women desire for my life is my suffering, to undermine my existence to the point of nothingness because I am a South Asian American man that can’t even normalize within his own hyperminority. I can’t think of a single woman in my whole life that looked at my welfare selflessly, not even my mother, sister, or aunt (S.A.W.), the three women in my life that are supposed to care more about me than any other women should even if I were to take a wife. At this point, I think it’s impossible. Not because of these ridiculously contrarian views I’m spouting, because I’m simply that repugnant to the feminine ire that I can no longer see myself as attractive to those I care about attracting. Don’t get me wrong, I have a general disdain for all of humanity, how it treats it medium of exchange (money) over the valuation of personhood (hence why people have been bought and sold from the beginning of time until now), but because women are in primary control of the social forces at play, women are primarily responsible for money coming over personhood. No one will like me, but because a woman’s perspective is just a kaleidoscope of social normativity, it especially won’t be a woman.
I don’t want a woman who hangs on my words and come away from this hating their own gender, but there’s a reason many empathize with the notion of a woman who prefers the company of men over women. Not because she finds them attractive, no-no-no, they’ve all been friendzoned, it’s because they’re less morally manipulative specimens in a social arena. There’s not a constant play for social advantage or social dominance. Whereas men show their pride by flexing more literally, women step on each other much more willingly to get ahead and feminine engagement becomes a status-chase (even if the status itself empathy/emotional quotient). Every woman, from a very young age, is taught they must always do one thing well: exploit a man for everything he’s worth but never show your appreciation for what he’s worth, otherwise, it’s a sign of weakness and submission. Maybe that’s why lots of men find submission attractive, they see it as genuine appreciation...when in reality it’s often an even greater social ploy because no self-respecting woman would ever submit to a man by choice, even if they are completely, profoundly, and utterly wrong. Feminine submission always comes as a tradeoff for something else, masculine submission is expected as a necessity for consent which ironically somehow makes the person less masculine (way to internalize toxic masculinty, btw).
It’s gotten to the point where simping has become so normalized, every single girl that ever shows an iota of interest in me is always trying to get something out of me before she’s placed any of herself to be committed. Women just expect $1,000+ to be handed to them for showing a physical interest in a man at all, not committing to be with the man in any capacity, mind you. Even then, for most women, it’s just not enough. It’s like they want every man to be destitute while creating the least amount of real pleasure on men possible. When they say “suck you dry,” they mean your wallet and bank account, not your prostate. They want all of us to die in our Mid-50′s of prostate cancer because of course they don’t actually want to have sex at all so they would rather see us die a slow and painful death than follow their base instincts to put out once in awhile. If I haven’t made this painfully clear already, I don’t hate women. I want to hate women because I recognize every foul way they treat me, but I have a physical inability to hate women because of my own heteronormativity. My core claim is every woman is demisexual and only a statistical blip isn’t completely asexual to me, so why should I seek out happiness by companionship with one? Every moment I’ve spent pursuing the experience of a woman has detracted from something comparatively more morally productive, but I’m bound to it because life is suffering. Exploitation is the worst possible way to dehumanize one’s experiences and women seek to actively do that in their romantic relationships on a diachronic basis.
I know how fucked my views are right now, and I’ll delete them and this post when a woman proves me wrong and restores my faith in femininity. A depersonalized proof has no bearing on my personal views because I have to live my truth (funny how men are often denied the ability to live their truth out of monetary constraints yet women will always have another to lean on). I have no faith in the woman I love the most to be able to retain strength in femininity and she’s the only one I’ve experienced to appreciate me intrinsically. Even as an exception to a lot of the general patterns, she remains steadfastly unwilling to act for my, and thereby our, welfare with those intentions, making her a rather pitiful exception to say my views are wrong. If women want to be seen as positive morality, they have to stop working within the realms of being a slave to the patriarchy. Actively breaking down those barriers, even when a gender stands nothing to benefit, is good on its own. Patriarchal norms, in fact, pinpoint my specific ethnic diaspora and gender as the most abhorrent in the world and actively seeks to exterminate me when I’m not properly segregated to the group I was born into.
I’m going to get so much hate for this if any woman deems worthy of even so much as a reply, I doubt it though.
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tranbinhminh360 · 29 days ago
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Chesham is the litmus test of how serious the Greens are as a party
Almost unnoticed last weekend amid the spectacular Tory win in Hartlepool, the constitution-shaking SNP-led victory in Scotland or the dismal outcome for Labour – compounded by a botched reshuffle – another party did very well: the Greens.
Across the country, the thin Green tide advanced. Highlights included: – An increase in MSPs and pushing the Lib Dems into a clear fifth in Scotland; – Finishing fourth in Wales by vote – though no MSs, unlike the Lib Dems, who polled fewer votes; – A clear third in the London mayoral election on nearly 8%, with Sian Berry the only candidate other than Shaun Bailey and Sadiq Khan to retain their deposit; – Almost 12% in the London Assembly elections, again finishing third; – A net gain of 88 councillors across England; – Significant gains in Bristol and Sheffield, costing Labour control in both councils; – Reaching the run-off round of the Bristol mayoral vote, losing only by 56-44; – Vote shares of 10%+ in six of the seven PCC elections contested;
Why the success on such a broad scale? Scotland has its own story, and some of the more dramatic results in England can be put down to local factors, whether specific issues or pre-existing organised strength – or both – but that cannot explain the solid performance in the large-electorate polls. For that, we should probably point in part to the salience of climate change as an issue over the last few years but more, to the unusual weakness in both Labour and the Lib Dems. If voters don’t feel confident in either of the two traditional parties of the centre/left that they’d naturally look to, then it’s unsurprising if they opt for the other established one in that part of the spectrum.
The Greens have been here before. Their initial, surprise, breakthrough came in the 1989 Euro elections, when Labour was only just recovering from its 1987 hangover and the (Social and) Lib Dems were virtually on the floor after their bungled merger but the Greens couldn’t make that stick as the larger, older, parties sorted themselves out – both then and following later Green bounces.
In no small way, they bear a significant share of the blame for that, having always struggled to move beyond the mentality and culture of a pressure group with a sideline in electioneering.
What do I mean by that? Well, politics is a ruthless, competitive business and the Green movement seems to have a visceral antipathy to both ruthlessness and competition, preferring collegiality where possible. What that’s meant in practice is a series of withdrawals from elections in favour of parties on the left seen as better-placed, sometimes unilaterally (as in 2017), sometimes with minor concessions elsewhere (2019) but always tending to hit the smaller or less-established party harder.
The problem with that is that it doesn’t really advance the Green cause much, if at all; indeed, it very much submits to politics as normal. In reality, as UKIP showed, a smaller party can sometimes achieve a lot more by bringing pain to others notionally on their own side than by co-operating with them.
Which brings us to Chesham & Amersham. The top-line contest ought to be a classic straight Con-LD fight in the manner of any number of Lib Dem gains over the years. Indeed, it’s the sort of by-election they’ve probably been dreaming of in the (almost certainly vain) hope that they can not only repeat the glory days of Christchurch and Winchester and Orpington and Newbury but that doing so will mask the fact that their party is invisible and irrelevant for all practical purposes at a national level.
(As an aside, even if they throw the kitchen sink at it, the Lib Dems still have an uphill task. Those famous victories of the past came when the Tory governments were struggling badly. By contrast, the current one has overseen a successful vaccine roll-out, is around 10% ahead in the polls and is likely to be removing restrictions further as polling day approaches – the Indian variation is unlikely to affect much as long as vaccines offer protection against it. In addition, while C&A did vote Remain, it was probably only by about 55-45: that still gives the Tories a big Leave vote to go at.)
But there’s also a secondary battle to be fought. If the Greens are genuine about staking a claim to being thethird party, then helping the Lib Dems overturn a 29% Tory majority isn’t a great way to go about it. Even more important though is their own performance. After the excellent – by their own standards – results a week ago, the Greens have a realistic chance of pushing Labour into fourth, especially as the Lib Dems will be squeezing votes as hard as they can and Labour is going through a rough patch itself.
Clearly, fighting hard to potentially deny a centre-left candidate a win and so return a Conservative goes very much against the Green cultural grain but in the big scheme of things, one MP here or there doesn’t matter much when the government already has a majority of 80. On the other hand, proving that the Greens, and their voters, need to be taken seriously would change how the other parties think and act, and may influence their policies. UKIP, after all, achieved their primary aim with barely an MP to their name.
Politicians can’t be too picky about the chances which come their way. Chesham and Amersham might not be ideal Green territory but they had a solid set of local election results there. If they want to create a virtuous cycle with the media of coverage generating support generating election results generating coverage, they need to deliver. That not only means standing but fighting hard. Whether they do or not will tell us whether they’re ready to take up third-party status or whether it’s dropped on them by happenstance and will roll off as casually.
David Herdson
p.s. After twelve years, around 600 articles and something like half a million words, this will be my last regular weekend piece; I need a bit of time and space to do other things for the moment. I don’t expect this to be my last ever – I’ll still submit articles when I think I’ve something useful and interesting to say. Still, I’d like to place on record my thanks to Mike, Robert, TSE and all those who do so much to keep PBC going and make it the successful and enjoyable community it is.
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pinkfadespirit · 29 days ago
Fenders in 37 or Handers in 44 from Cliché Prompts!
Thank you for the prompt! I went with “I’m your new neighbour and I got locked out, help!” for Handers. The fact that getting locked out is something I have a lot of experience with made it very easy to think of a way to approach this one. It may also explain why this is such a highly specific scenario... 😅  
Had to take a minute to decide who was going to be the hot mess this time around and Anders won (it was Hawke’s turn last time, I think). 
Also, it started getting a bit long so I left it at the first decent stopping point and I’m thinking I might come back and do a second part to it for a future prompt. 
for @dadrunkwriting 
...
There were a few things about the new building Anders had moved into that were an improvement upon the last place he lived and having access to a washer and dryer inside the building and not having to haul all of his dirty clothing to the launderette down the road was one of them. It was incredibly convenient, situated just across the landing from his flat and though the facilities were communal, Anders was the occupant of one of only three flats in a large converted house so finding them free didn’t present too much of a challenge.  
Remembering the latch on the door to his flat, however, was something he might have to get used to. You just didn’t really think to pick up your keys, or your phone... or your shoes, when all you were doing was running across the hall to pop on a bit of laundry on a Sunday night.
Anders stared at the door, painted white with a small brass number two stuck to the top of it, then reached out a hand and pushed. Yes. Definitely still locked. He turned slowly and scanned the hall as though something might appear and offer a solution to this predicament. But of course the landing was as empty as it had been when he’d stepped out a few minutes earlier, quiet but for the loud hum of the washing machine in the other room and the rain outside pounding heavily against the walls of the old building.  
Anders quite honestly didn’t know what to do.  
Well, the door wasn’t budging so there was no sense in lingering outside as though it might change its mind and let him in if he just looked at it pitifully enough. He made for the stairs instead, since that seemed to be his only other option. Though, standing in the entrance hall, staring at the front door instead wasn’t much of an improvement. He listened to the rain battering the door and looked mournfully down at his sock clad feet.
There was nothing else for it; out of the few of his friends that lived in town, Isabela's place was closest. But would she even be in? It wasn’t exactly as though he could call with his phone locked inside his flat. Perhaps he’d have better luck trying The Hanged Man. But could he really face showing up there, drenched and shoeless, without even the money to buy himself the drink he’d definitely need after the night he was having?  
He wasn’t sure what choice he had.
Anders was still standing there, contemplating his fate when the front door to the building opened, letting in the roar of the downpour outside, along with a man, tall and broad enough to fill a good portion of the doorway, who, after a moment, Anders recognised as his downstairs neighbour. He didn’t think he’d ever caught the man’s name but Anders had noticed him several times before now. He was difficult not to notice, handsome and powerfully built as he was.  
He stepped inside and turned back, closing the door behind him. And he was pushing a large hand through his short black hair and flicking the gathered beads of rainwater from his fingertips when his eyes fell upon Anders. He smiled. “Ugh,” he complained good-naturedly, and Anders probably shouldn’t have found that smile as distracting as he did given the circumstances, “it’s dreadful out there tonight. Might want a coat if you’re heading out.” He gave Anders a once over, his eyes coming to land on his feet. “...and shoes.” He paused for a moment, and brought his gaze back up to meet Anders’ as a puzzled frown found its way onto his face. “Are you, er... alright?”
“Me?” asked Anders for some reason. There wasn’t actually anyone else here.  
“Yeah... You’re looking a bit lost.”  
The expression on his face was kind and Anders was torn between admiring that and thinking, fuck, that’s a lot of rain. He watched a stray drop of water make it’s way slowly down the side of the man’s face and disappear into his beard before reminding himself that he’d just been asked a question. “No... no, I live here.”
“That much I’d already gathered,” Anders’ neighbour replied easily. “I’ve seen you around a few times. I'm Hawke by the way.”
“Anders...” said Anders, accepting the Hawke offered him to shake. They really were very large hands. Anders had to keep himself from getting carried away with a brief fantasy about the sort of things hands like that could do to him because it was so not the time for that.
“Are you sure you’re alright, Anders?” There was a slight upwards curve to the corner of Hawke’s lips that Anders could just about make out under his beard but the slight wrinkle of concern around his eyes looked genuine enough.
“Maybe... not, actually. I don’t suppose I could borrow your phone for a minute, could I? And, er, if you have the landlord's out of hours number that would be great too.”
Hawke grinned. “Locked out, eh?” he said with a light chuckle.  
“I, er... Yes,” admitted Anders with some embarrassment.
“No problem. I'll lend you my phone. Might have to dig the number out for you though. I haven’t had to use it yet myself.” With that, Hawke walked around him and headed for the door to the ground floor flat, gesturing for Anders to follow. “You can come in for a minute while I get it for you if you like.”
Anders watched as Hawke opened the door to his flat and stepped aside to allow him to follow.  
It probably wasn’t the wisest thing to go into the flat of a man he’d never met before tonight but looking at Hawke’s welcoming smile and weighing it up against the prospect of walking to Isabela’s barefoot in the rain, Anders knew which option he preferred.  
“Thank you,” said Anders, throwing a tentative smile back at him as Hawke closed the door behind them.
“It feels like the neighbourly thing to do,” Hawke replied.  
He began to unzip his coat then, and after slipping it off his shoulders, hung it up on the door to the bathroom to let the rainwater drip onto the tile floor rather than the hallway carpet. Anders watched and couldn’t help but be a little bit interested in the definition to the man’s arms revealed by the shed layer of clothing. He tried to drag his gaze away before he could be caught staring but wasn’t sure he managed it. Hawke’s eyes caught his and as his smile widened slightly, Anders found his face heating up just a little.
“Come on through, I’ll see if I can find that number for you.”
Hawke led him through to the open plan kitchen and living area that was pretty much the same as the one Anders had upstairs, if a little more lived in. He crossed to the kitchen counter, opened one of the drawers there and began rifling through a pile of papers within.  
“So... locked out without your shoes or phone... How did you manage that exactly? You don’t look wet enough to have been taking a barefoot stroll outside.”
Anders tried to fight back his embarrassment. There didn’t seem to be much point in it now when Hawke had already found him pathetic and shoeless in the hallway. “I was... uh, doing laundry.”
“Ah... I see.”
“Please tell me I’m not the only person who’s managed to end up in this situation.”
Hawke laughed. “Probably not. Somehow, I haven’t managed it yet. Might be able to find that number for you more easily if I had.”
“Perhaps they have it online somewhere,” Anders suggested.
“Probably...” Hawke stopped what he was doing and looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. “Are you working tomorrow morning? Got anywhere you have to be?”
Not a question Anders was expecting. “It’s my day off actually.”
“You know, they’re only going to charge you for coming out here tonight. Why don’t you just crash here and go down to the office in the morning?”
“Wait, what?” asked Anders, trying desperately to silence the part of his brain that had already entertained several ideas about ‘crashing’ at Hawke’s place. He’d seen the man around enough times before to have had time to think about these things.
Hawke shrugged. “We live in the same building. I already know where to find you if you decide to make off with the silverware in the night... not that I really have silverware. Actually, I probably could do with investing in a set of spoons that don’t bend when you try to squeeze the teabag out on the side of the mug.”
“Um,” said Anders, “don’t worry. Your spoons are safe from me. I was thinking more that I don’t want to impose, or intrude on your evening.”
Hawke just smiled at him, exuding a warmth that when combined with how entirely gorgeous he was made Anders somewhat weak at the knees. “It’s no imposition. I was honestly just going to stick a pizza in the oven and spend the night playing video games. You’re entirely welcome to join me if you want. If not, I’ll get right back to looking for that phone number for you.”
Anders thought about it. Not only would it save him the fee but it would save him the embarrassment of having to drag the landlord out here in the middle of the evening just because he couldn’t remember to put the bloody door on the latch while he was doing his washing.  
The opportunity to get to know his hot downstairs neighbour was just a bonus.  
“Are you sure it’s alright?”
“Definitely. Makes my evening suddenly look a lot more interesting if you say yes,” Hawke said with a grin. Anders wondered if there was possibly something a little flirtatious in the way he looked at him as he said that. Surely that was just wishful thinking, though, right?
Anders wasn’t sure if he cared.  
He offered Hawke a smile in response. “Alright then. I’ll take you up on that.”  
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we-love-imagines · a month ago
Could we get Hcs for the Jojos with a pregnant s/o?
This ask was such a nice surprise because a family member of mine just had a baby this past week! Babies and pregnancy have been my life as of late, what a funny coincidence! So excited to write this one!
This doesn’t include Gappy because I haven’t gotten far into part 8 yet. Also, I kept the reader’s pronouns gender neutral! 
Warnings: mentions of pain during childbirth, morning sickness, depressive thoughts and some subtle spoilers for part 7 during Johnny’s section. Completely SFW!
Jojo’s With a Pregnant S/O
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Jonathan
~Jonathan is so excited! Maybe a little too excited... right after you tell him, he’ll start asking about names, what color the nursery should be, who the godparents are, and all of that junk. You’ll have to calm him down and remind him that you both have 9 months to get this all sorted out!
~Jonathan suddenly becomes really scared of hurting you. He’s always been gentle with you before- he’s a big guy who doesn’t know his own strength, and he’s accidentally hugged you a little too hard a few times- but while you’re pregnant he becomes very aware of this. He’s almost afraid to touch you out of fear of hurting the baby. This fear kicks into high gear when your bump starts to become visible. Even if you comfort him, his gentlemanly nature will make him apprehensive. Maybe you can convince him to channel that frightened energy into something more productive- like baby-proofing the house!
~While he’s not the brightest, Jonathan is just the biggest sweetheart. He tends to not remember little details, like forgetting to buy an actual crib and not just decorations when he goes shopping for the nursery. However, you know he means well, because he goes above and beyond for emotional support during your pregnancy. He plans you the best baby shower and gender reveal parties anyone has ever thrown, and his kind nature makes him prone to some sickeningly-sweet moments. He’ll bring home children’s books and read them to your bump, or politely ask to feel it when you tell him you felt a kick. You can tell by the smile on his face and the way his eyes sparkle how excited he is to be a dad, and you know he’ll be a good one, too!
~On delivery day, he really tries to be calm for you. He really does. However, when Jonathan sees you in so much pain, he can barely contain his own fears. He knew childbirth was painful, but it looked like you were dying! After asking if something was wrong for the 800th time, one of the midwives drags him outside of the delivery room to wait with all of your friends and family. He can’t bring himself to sit down, no matter how long your labor is, and he can’t stop shaking. After the longest few hours of both of your lives, the midwives call him back in, and he bolts to your side. You look exhausted, but the image of you holding his newborn child is nearly angelic to him. When he sees you smile, all of his anxieties disappear as he sits beside you, protectively wrapping his massive arms around his now complete family.
~And yes, he catches just the slightest glimpse of the baby’s head coming out as he’s hurried out of the room. He’s scarred for life.
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Joseph
~Immediately makes a bet on the gender. When I say immediately I mean immediately- the words “I’m pregnant” have barely left your mouth before he says “I’ll bet one hundred bucks it’s a boy.” Of course he’s ecstatic and smiling like a madman, but he couldn’t help it, he got this intense gut feeling right off the bat! So now, you two have a bet going throughout your entire pregnancy on the baby’s gender. As friends get in on the bet, the pool of money on the line gets larger and larger, until everyone is waiting with bated breath to see what comes out of you on delivery day. So- at least you know you have a lot of support during this pregnancy!
~Joseph is usually a pretty affectionate guy, always trying to sneak kisses and hugs from you, but he becomes strangely sentimental when you get pregnant. His brand of affection becomes a lot less cheeky and more earnest, as he just wants to spend some more peaceful, quiet moments with you. Playful tickle-fights become lazy afternoons where he holds you close, quietly rubbing your stomach as he recounts how you two first met. At first, this worries you; Joseph is never this calm! When you point this out, he tells you that he’s just feeling sappy, and that he can’t believe you two are going to have your own little family soon. While he still has his fair share of loud, bombastic moments of affection that are so perfectly ‘Joseph,’ these new, quieter moments are nice too.
~He isn’t the most comforting person, if we’re being completely honest. He doesn’t really have a filter, so sometimes things he shouldn’t say just slip out. When your bump starts showing, you definitely get a few comments like, “Woah babe! You’re huge!” He’ll apologize if you confront him about it, of course, and make it up to you, but if you’re having a hyper-emotional pregnancy you can’t really trust him to say the right things to calm you down. When you start crying, he just panics, and he has no idea what to say or do.
~Joseph is a smart guy, and thanks to some lessons from Granny Erina, picks up on the ins-and-outs of childcare pretty quickly. He’s constantly practicing changing diapers on baby dolls, lecturing you on how much sleep you should be getting, and out buying things in preparation for delivery day. In a way, he prepares for this baby like he prepared for his battle with the Pillarmen, intense training and all! This desire to be the best dad that ever was carries over to how he cares for you. He helps you stay active without straining yourself, taking you out for walks in the park or wading around in the pool.  Ready to satisfy your unpredictable midnight cravings, he always keeps his coat nearby in case he has to run to the general store at some crazy hour of the morning. He also insists you two figure out the nursery early on in the pregnancy so you could help out  and not have to worry about it when your body started to hinder your mobility. Joseph really puts his game-face on after the initial shock of your announcement, much to your (pleasant) surprise.
~When your water breaks, Joseph starts phoning everyone who had money on your bet, and they’re all already there when you arrive at the hospital. Speedwagon and Lisa Lisa look especially nervous- they have put a lot of money on this wager. Joseph, for once, also looks nervous, but that is mainly because you’re is screaming and crying and a baby is coming out of you right now and oh my god he’s gonna be a dad soon- needless to say, you’re both a bit of a mess. His immediate reaction to seeing you upset is to try and make you laugh, so he starts trying to tell you jokes as they wheel you into the delivery room. Emphasis on trying- you quickly put a stop to that by squeezing his hand so hard that he can hear the bones breaking. 
~Once all of the pain and anguish of childbirth is over, the doctor announces with a smile that you two have had a healthy baby girl. You turn to him, expecting to say something snarky about losing the bet, but you’re surprised when he just starts tearing up and smiling. As you both hold your newborn daughter, he just has so much love in his eyes. He can’t stop talking about how beautiful she looks and just how lucky he is to have the two of you.
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Jotaro
~I know I’ve used this gif before but I couldn’t resist!
~Jotaro... doesn’t really know how to feel. His number one fear is someone trying to come after him by hurting his family, and now that family is expanding. While he’s glad to be taking such a big step with you, and he loves you and your future child more than anything, he’s going to be a big ball of nerves the whole time. Because of this, Jotaro essentially puts you on house arrest; he wants to have a constant eye on you to make sure no one can come and hurt you or the baby. Even if you insist you don’t need him to constantly be around you, he’ll still find a way to keep you safe. This usually entails favors from the Speedwagon foundation, like having some of its finest agents escort you from place to place. After everything that’s happened to him, he’s taking zero risks with you.
~Building off of that last point, all of this heightened emotion and protectiveness brings out a more affectionate side of Jotaro. While he certainly doesn’t become all lovey-dovey, he does tend to hold you closer for longer, have less qualms about PDA, and be more generous with his praise of you. When your bump starts showing, this only increases, and you see something no one has ever seen before- genuine excitement from Jotaro. His eyes light up as the two of you talk about your future family. He admits that you’ll probably be the one to come up with the baby’s name- he’s not the most creative person- but much to your surprise, he ends up suggesting a few really good ones! You also think he’d want nothing to do with the nursery, with him being a minimalist at heart, but he gets pretty into it! He paints the walls and builds a lot of the furniture himself, and while he leaves most of the decorating to you, you notice some cute stuffed animals he picked out sitting inside the crib. He also made sure the nursery was right next to his home office, not just for convenience, but to have an excuse to take a break from his work and visit the baby.
~Jotaro is quite the hard-ass when it comes to your pregnancy. While he specializes in marine biology, he’s taken quite a few regular bio classes, including a few on specifically mammals and humans. He knows what to do to ensure a safe, healthy pregnancy, and he’ll be a real stickler on your diet, sleep schedule, and exercise routine. That last one is especially rage-inducing later on in your pregnancy, when you can barely walk around the house, let alone get up and stretch. It’s a bit much at times, but you know all of his pushiness comes from a good place.
~When your water breaks, Jotaro is stone-faced. He’s never been good with outwardly showing emotions, and when he’s stressed, he tends to shut down even more. But, in a way, it’s kind of calming. Instead of having a partner who is freaking out and losing their mind, Jotaro just squeezes your hand as he drives you to the hospital. While he seems unfazed, you know he is secretly freaking out, but you appreciate how he tries to keep it all together for you. After a long couple of hours, all goes well, and the doctor places the baby in your arms. Jotaro is never one to cry, but when he sees their little hand reach out and wrap around his large finger, his heart melts. Pressing a kiss to both of your foreheads, Jotaro promises himself that he’ll never let anything hurt his family.
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Josuke
~When you tell him, he totally has a “Jim from The Office” moment and just-
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~Josuke is a little naïve, but super excited! He’s not thinking about practical things like who’s gonna change diapers or when birthing classes are; Josuke’s more focused on the fun aspects of having a baby, like how cute baby shoes are. It’s only when you go to your first childcare class that he realizes how much work raising a child will be. Never one to back down from a challenge, Josuke starts (almost obsessively) practicing the parenting skills he learns from the classes. He times himself to see how fast he can change a diaper, tries squeezing big baby dolls into the tiny onesies, and tries his hand at mixing his own baby food. It’s a little alarming how he turns parenthood into a game- but hey, it takes a lot of stuff off your plate!
~Josuke was always nice, but he becomes quite the gentleman while you’re pregnant. He’s always insisting on opening doors for you, carrying all of your things, and helping you out around the house. As you get closer and closer to delivery, he starts doing more and more for you, to the point where he wants you to basically be stationary. He’ll insist you sit on the couch and relax while he does everything around the house, even the easiest of chores. While it’s cute, he does become a bit overbearing with it, so you’ll have to insist he lets you be a little more active.
~Early on in your pregnancy, Josuke is a little confused. While he learns a lot about babies from his mom and the parenting classes, he doesn’t know a lot about pregnancy. When you start getting morning sickness, strange cravings, or weird cramps, it completely freaks him out. You have to explain that these things are all normal and no, you’re not dying. He’ll always be there to help, but everything is definitely a huge learning curve for him.
~Josuke is proposing new baby names every five minutes. There are so many cool names out there, how can he choose just one? He’ll also suggest silly names in earnest (he’s the type to think that naming your kid Darth Vader is the coolest thing ever), but you’ll have to shoot down some of the crazier ones. He also dedicates a lot of time to decorate your nursery, calling Okuyasu and Koichi over to help him built the crib. While the gang’s hijinks leads to a lot of squabbling and wasted time, the nursery comes out very nice, decorated with light purple walls and toys gifted from friends all over Morioh. Showing his sweeter side, Rohan offered to paint a little mural from the nursery- it’s some of his best work.
~On delivery day, all of the knowledge Josuke has accumulated from the birthing classes has gone completely out the window. He’s scared shitless. In a panic, he ends up driving you to the hospital right after your water breaks, and the doctor has to tell him that it’s way too early. At least this gives him time to calm down and call everyone you guys want to be present at the birth. Once you start going into labor and having contractions, though, all hell breaks loose. Okuyasu has to keep him out of the delivery room until it’s over, because if he sees how much pain you’re in he will combust; but, it’s not like waiting outside is helping much, because he can still hear all of your carrying on and his mother loudly coaching you through the whole thing. Once everything is over and he’s called into the room, you can see all of the worry on his face wash away. He comes up to hold you and the baby close, and he can’t stop smiling. You suggest a name, and he thinks it’s perfect.
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Giorno
~Giorno is very nervous when you first tell him you’re expecting. Growing up, he had a neglectful mother, an abusive stepfather, and (technically) two absentee fathers. Not having any good parental role models, he’s very scared that he’ll fall into some of their same pitfalls. He’ll need a lot of reassurance to realize that he’s better than that.
~Once he had time to get out of his funk, he’ll prioritize you over all else. Himself, his team, Passione- you become all he ever thinks about. He’ll set up a comfy couch in his office so he can keep an eye on you while he works. Early on in your pregnancy, he’ll give you some space, but once you start showing he starts completely doting on you. Giorno will always be close by.
~He seems to know what you need before you do. Giorno is a very observant person, and he is able to catch onto your ticks before you even notice them. When your legs start to wobble slightly, he beckons you to sit down, even before your feet start hurting. He always seems to have the foods your craving, however abstract, stashed away in some corner of the villa. He has a knack for planning ahead, so he does a lot of research in your first trimester, so he knows what to look out for.
~In the few quiet moments you share in between all of the mafia drama, Giorno loves to discuss baby names, nursery decorations, or go shopping with you. He has very expensive tastes, and you always come home with high-end, trendy baby clothes. The nursery is also fit for royalty, an expensive crib and fancy toys filling the space. He thought he could entrust Mista to paint the nursery on his own- let’s just say Giorno had to do some touch-ups himself.
~Giorno is always calm and collected, even on delivery day. He’s always been your rock, and while he’s internally freaking out, he’s completely focused on you and how you’re doing. Even if the doctors insist he step out, Giorno can’t bring himself to leave the delivery room. He’ll be by your side, talking you through the whole thing, his voice reassuring even as you scream and cry. Once the baby is born, however, all of that pent-up emotion releases as little tears of joy roll down his cheeks. Giorno never cries, but when he holds your child for the first time, he can’t stop. He thanks you over and over again for bringing your child into the world, and tells you that he’ll protect you both for as long as he lives.
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Jolyne
~Jolyne puts her game-face on immediately. She’s going to make this as easy as she can for you. Late-night grocery runs for cravings, foot & back rubs, and doing any strenuous task for you are all givens. She’ll really go above and beyond with you.
~She knows that mobility and safety are about to become huge problems for you, so she helps you pick up new hobbies that can be done inside. Jolyne gets pretty into some of them too; she really likes making baby clothes. After awakening her stand, she started learning how to sew and knit clothing (she thought it might be useful, with her string-based abilities), and making such tiny little socks and hats gets her so excited! She, somehow, is able to whip up baby clothes that look trendy, with cool patterns and unique shapes worked into every little garment. To no one’s surprise, butterflies manage to work their way into almost all of her designs.
~Jolyne already knows a lot about pregnancy from her health classes in school and she is ready. Right after you tell her, she goes out and buys a bunch of prenatal supplies and baby books. Like her dad, she’s always on you about what you eat and how much sleep you’re getting, but she’s definitely more relaxed about it. Later on in your pregnancy, when you’re basically just a waddling mess of hormones and cravings, she’s gonna stop being so bossy. All she wants is for your pregnancy to be as healthy as it can be.
~Jolyne is a very active person, and adjusting to the changes in your body takes a bit of work for her. She used to always drag you to the gym, beckon you outside to throw around a baseball, or go on a run with you when you guys needed to let some energy out. But now- you just can’t do those things anymore. As your pregnancy progresses and you get bigger and more delicate, Jolyne realizes just how tiring carrying a baby is. While she still wants you to be somewhat active, the runs turn into slow walks down the street and the intense gym sessions turn into yoga at home. Jolyne just hopes she can keep her muscles after the baby is born, and not fall into a ‘dad bod-’ she worked hard for her six-pack!
~One day the two of you sit down to discuss names, and she pulls out a very long list of names from an old notebook. From the chicken-scratch handwriting near the top, it looks like she’s been adding to this list of baby names ever since she was a kid. It’s no secret that Jolyne has a more girly side- one of her favorite pastimes is to curl up with you on the couch and watch cheesy rom-coms-  but finding out just how much Jolyne wants to be a mom is a little startling. She tells you about all of her favorite baby dolls from when she was little, and she even has a few old photos of them to show you. After the two of you put together the nursery, you notice a few of those old dolls and stuffies have made their way into the toybox.
~Delivery day is very stressful for the both of you. Jolyne is the kind of person who takes no bullshit, so when nurses and hospital staff try to rip her away from your side to fill out meaningless paperwork sets her off. Jolyne wants to be there for you every step of the way. Even when you start screaming and squeezing her hand raw, she stays by your side and takes it. Jolyne has always been your cheerleader, rooting for you when you whether you needed the encouragement or not, and this certainly won’t change that. When all is said and done, and they put the baby into your tired arms, Jolyne shows you that million-dollar smile that you fell in love with. Letting a few stray tears fall she places a little kiss to the baby’s forehead, laughing when a bit of her green lipstick leaves a mark.
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Johnny
~SCARED. Johnny has made a fair amount of mistakes in his life, and he honestly thinks that he isn’t cut out to be a father. Despite your reassurances, there’s this horrible voice in the back of his head telling him that he shouldn’t even be alive, let alone making new life. Not to mention his issues with his own father- honestly, Johnny didn’t take the news very well. It’s disheartening, but you understand that he has a lot of trauma that keeps him from being able to take the news in stride. Unlike Giorno, it’ll take a long time for Johnny to come around and get excited. It’s not that Johnny doesn’t want to start a family with you, it’s just that Johnny doesn’t think he should be starting a family.
~When your hormones start acting up, Johnny starts to fear you. He knows the slightest misstep in his wording can have you sobbing or yelling at him, so he takes a lot of time to think over what he has to say. All sad books and movies mysteriously disappear from your house. The few times you do snap at him, however, Johnny just sits there and takes it. He’s very bad at comforting people, so he lets you get all of your rage/ tears out before he even reaches out to touch you. He knows you’re gonna be moodier and more sluggish as time goes on, but at least he doesn’t take your harsh words to heart. However, since he doesn’t want to set you off, he becomes your personal servant. You want him to run out at midnight to satisfy a random craving? Right away! Anything to keep you happy!
~Johnny really likes playing music for the baby. When you two are lazing about in the living room, he’ll pull out some old records and pull the gramophone close to your stomach. He also likes to think out loud about what your child will be like- will they like these songs? Do you think they’ll like riding horses? Do you think they’ll have your eyes? Johnny is just so curious about what kind of person you two will make. He hopes they’ll have more of your features and mannerisms as opposed to his, but part of him really hope your child will like horses. Johnny won’t admit it, but he’s really looking forward to teaching them how to ride. 
~Johnny ends up putting together a killer nursery. He decorates it with a few of the artifacts he had collected over the race, making your baby look far more cultured than any baby should be. He hopes that, one day, the baby will ask where all of these cool maps and dinosaur bones come from so he’ll have an excuse to tell them about all of his adventures. Gyro’s old teddy bears sit in the crib, and he set up two rocking chairs in the corner so you both could sit in there together. When it comes to names, however, Johnny struggles to come up with anything you both like too much. Though, you both agree on one thing: if your child is a boy, you’ll name him Julius. 
~When your water breaks, Johnny seems to be more panicked than you are. What if something goes wrong? Are the doctors prepared? What if he can’t get you there in time? This only gets worse as you start having contractions, Johnny going into a frenzy as he tries to calm the both of you down. When you get to the hospital, you realize you’ve never seen him so nervous. Johnny Joestar, the man who crossed an entire continent and defeated too many stand users to count, is shaking at the sight of you in so much pain. While part of him just wants to go sit in the waiting room, unable to see you in such a state, he resolves to stay by your side, no matter how distressing it may be. Even though he looks just as stressed as you, the way he holds your hand and talks you through everything helps you keep calm. When the baby is out and it’s finally over, Johnny watches as the doctor hands your child, and how you’re smiling despite all of the pain. When you ask him if you’d like to hold the baby, he moves slowly as he hesitantly goes to hold them, almost like he’s afraid they’ll break if he touches them. But, much to his surprise, the baby stops crying the moment Johnny holds them, and all of his fears melt away. Deep down, he knows everything is going to be alright.
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spellcasterdouxie · a month ago
Text
a jumbled mess of my thoughts about voltron
This’ll probably be the messiest post you’ll ever read. I’m done trying to finish this and edit it into something coherent, so I’m just combining the 3 drafts I have written out into one massive post. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, but each draft is a sort of rewrite of the last, so there’s a lot of overlap. But there’s also a lot of new thoughts too as I kept thinking about this. There’s also a lot of unfinished thoughts.
There’s mostly negativity in this btw. This fandom had/has an amazing ability in making you think that this show was utter garbage. on par with riv//erdale or s//pn, but it really wasn’t. Like many shows they had weak points, it was never perfect, but it’s much better than we’re told to remember it as.
Intro from Draft 3 because I liked the way I started it:
This is all of my thoughts about Voltron, the show itself and the fandom. I have tried to write this post out for over a year or two now, so it was originally intended to be my final thoughts about the show. Obviously, it’s evolved since then into whatever this is. There may be some things that I’ll be wrong about, because I’m not about to dig through hundreds of discourse posts and old interview videos to prove a point that I doubt anyone’s gonna care about. This will 100% be based on my thoughts, opinions, and experiences.
That said, I don’t even know how to begin to describe how much I love this show. I’m probably one of the few people who have no regrets about enjoying this show as much as I do. I’d wholeheartedly recommend watching it, because it’s genuinely a good show. Voltron did the unimaginable for me. I don’t usually enjoy sci-fi stories. I especially don’t enjoy mecha stories. Yet somehow, Voltron combined the two and made a show that I loved so much I can’t stop thinking about it even though it ended over 2 years ago.
Draft 1: thoughts about a year after it ended without rewatching any seasons since it ended
It’s been about a year since voltron ended. I never wrote my thoughts about s8/the show then so here it is now. Because I decided to wait a year I honestly don’t remember a lot of specifics. But I still have a lot to say about it. This is very long and is basically everything I have to say about this show. I love voltron. It’s been an important part of my life during college. 90% of all papers I wrote were about voltron. But as much as I love it, I won’t deny that it fell apart at the end. 
Note: I tried to categorize these thoughts so I don’t get off topic and can talk about everything fully. But because they overlap so much there’s definitely some minor repeats when I connect two parts but decided to hold off talking about it all the way until the right section.
PRODUCTION
This is something I’ve expressed concern over while it was airing, but in a span of 2 and a half years, they premiered 78 episodes. That’s a lot, especially when you consider that production for s3 started after s1 premiered. There’s a lot of really good voltron review videos out there that aren’t just “oh I’m so cool I hate voltron” but there was one that talked about how the production was a mess and the writers couldn’t make up their mind for the endgame ship. And while that doesn’t sound like an important issue, it really does show when it comes to how characters are written together and (I think) the fandom war. 
Summarizing what that video said because I don’t remember who made it, the writers/producers never made up their mind on which ship was supposed to be endgame (klance, sheith, allurance, kallura). And this really does show in the show itself. I don’t like klance. I especially hate it because of my experience with the fandom, but I won’t deny that they were sometimes written romantically. The same goes for sheith. And that’s the problem. 
I don’t think the world building parts of the show was fully developed either. Shiro was supposed to be a teen like everyone else but then he was an adult. His and keith’s relationship was honestly vague for a good while. I don’t think anyone really knew how each characters’ relationships with each other was supposed to progress. Was allurance always supposed to be endgame? Because they didn’t really interact that much until like season 6, and then it was kinda sudden from what I remember. There was very little, if at all, parts where we were shown oh allura might like lance romantically. Keith’s relationship with the main cast didn’t exist for like 3 seasons. It was messy. 
Speaking of which, keith disappeared for a good portion of the show. I assume it’s because steven yeun was busy. Which is fine but then I think about how quickly voltron came and went, I wonder why they couldn’t slow down a bit so they could still have steven voice keith during those episodes. Maybe it’s because of how much I love keith, but he honestly felt like a central character to me. 
If I think about teen titans, for example, this show also had 5 main characters. Sometimes certain characters would get a spotlight for a season, but all-in-all they were fairly equally represented. It didn’t feel like robin was the main character. But that’s how I feel about voltron. Keith, and shiro to an extent are the main characters. A good portion of the plot relies on them. Shiro got kidnapped, keith leads them to the blue lion. Shiro is the leader with keith has his right-hand man and they mostly interact with each other. So when shiro “dies” and keith takes over, it starts to feel like keith is now the main character. Now he’s the leader and the arc is about him growing into becoming the black paladin and stopping lotor, who is his main enemy. But then he disappears. 
Again this is most likely because of my bias towards keith, but the episodes after that felt lackluster. Lance didn’t really get his character growth to become a good second-in-command. Because that development was supposed to be based around keith. :P. A big part of lance’s growth is to learn to stop needing to feel that he’s better than keith. And him accepting keith as the black paladin was a huge part of it. But with shiro as the leader again lance loses that development. Keith’s not in the picture anymore, and the person in-charge was already in a leadership position and has nothing to learn by being there. 
Before I go way too deep into my thoughts about the plot/characterization, I do want to mention the animation. The fighting scenes are amazing and one of the most beautiful 2d animation I’ve seen. That is, when it is actually animated and not just the camera panning on a still image. Here’s where my biggest concern over the time comes in. 2 years is absolutely not enough time to animate that many episodes. I was genuinely worried for the animation company because it could not have been a good experience. And yes, we got more episodes sooner, the quality definitely dropped and it’s a real shame. Who knows when we’ll get another american cartoon in this style. I love this animation style but it takes time and a lot of skills to do, so not that many companies do it. I honestly wished they took their time with the show not just to get more time to animate, but also to flesh out some of the plot.
PLOT
As hunk said in one episode, they don’t linger on dramatic events that just happened. This show is very fast paced, and that’s not a bad thing. But they never took the time they needed to really feel the weight of everything that happens. Keith’s galra heritage reveal was basically swept under the rug. So was the shiro clone, lotor’s death, zarkon’s death, naxzela, and so many more. In general, that was a big problem with how the episodes went. If it wasn’t for the sheer number of fanfics covering those topics, they were really swept under the rug. It honestly kinda felt like the writers didn’t know what to do with the aftermath of their reveals. But some of these were pretty essential to the plot of the story. 
Keith’s part galra! So he doesn’t look it but there had to be obstacles with voltron forming the coalition. He’s part of the race that caused this war. I honestly think we should’ve seen that reveal become part of the plot, or what was the point of it? They could’ve just as easily wrote keith to be a regular human just like everyone else. Taking the time to add that part of his character needs to have some significance in the story. And yeah, they had krolia appear but she wasn’t really a significant character except to kinda magically fix keith’s problems. In general it felt like they forgot parts that they were foreshadowing with keith. Why could he turn purple sometimes? Did that quintessence he was hit with fix him or help him hide the galra parts? Why does he look so human? What is up with him having that quintessence sensitivity? I’m all for shows ending with some questions unanswered because sometimes it’s impossible to answer it all and let it feel natural, but this just felt like they forgot or decided it’s too much of a hassle and just ignored it.
Okay going into more specifics now, s8 was kinda meh. It especially felt bad because it came out the same day as spiderverse which had a very similar villain motivation, but objectively done better. I think honerva’s motivation came out of nowhere. We see in the flashback episode that she was so intent on getting knowledge that it literally destroyed daibazaal. So, it was established that her motivation is knowledge. Even though she lost her memory and regained it, as haggar she was still very focused on quintessence. We know she was gathering a lot of it, and maybe they said it and I forgot, but we never knew why. Family wasn’t really shown as a motivation for her. Even with lotor it didn’t seem like she wanted to be a family again, but instead was using him for her own unknown motivations. Anyways, the season felt awkward. And the new dynamic they had really needed more time. The last season should’ve expanded to be at least 2 more. It would’ve fit a lot better imo. S1-2 would have zarkon as the main villain, s3-6 would have lotor, and s7-8 would have haggar, who was also the puppeteer throughout the entire show. But she didn’t appear for s7 and her motivations didn’t really make sense in s8 so it evidently felt rushed. There were also so many major characters in s8 we needed more time to see them interact. 
So the ending with allura becoming constellations. Gonna be honest that whole last part had me confused. Especially with the fact that I barely remember what happened, why are the old paladins like trapped in the lions? I could excuse the other 4 but zarkon? Especially a zarkon that’s not corrupted? It was weird and didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and that’s all I’ll say about that. I don’t even want to try to suggest an alternative because I think that whole last half of the season is so messy it can’t be fixed. But it was so obviously pandering to the fandom it hurt. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted lance to be altean in response to keith’s galra heritage. The shiro/curtis kiss was very “look see he is gay and not just because we said so” while nice, was very weak (why wasn’t keith in the shot?).
Despite my complaints, I remember liking s8. I really liked the addition of the atlas, even though it didn’t feel like we were watching voltron anymore sometimes. S7 had to be one of my favorite episodes since s2. Not to say that s7 is better or worse, but I really like it because it felt like a genre shift. I usually don’t like space sci-fi or mecha stories. Voltron somehow managed to combine the two and make me love it. S7 did not feel like either of those. First, a good half of it took place on earth. And I believe two episodes didn’t even have the main cast, and when team voltron finally made it to earth, voltron wasn’t even there until the final battle. I genuinely loved it. I think it was a very well done invasion/apocalyptic story that doesn’t get told in animation that often. But if I think about s7 with the rest of the show, it was awful. It broke up the tone the show usually had and it was a very different way of storytelling that voltron didn’t have before. It wasn’t a space sci-fi mecha story, it was an apocalyptic action story. Voltron was so unimportant they sat on a moon for episodes. It stopped becoming voltron and started becoming a spin-off. 
I do have to add that I absolutely loved the color themes in s7. We already had purple for the galra, but in s7 it was very obvious that alteans are themed blue and earth is themed with orange. I loved it so much and it was great. I do like that they gave shiro something to do. Honestly not killing him off in s2 made him an awkward character afterwards. But I didn’t like that they brought back sendak. There was no explanation for it and it wasn’t good imo. He didn’t really do anything besides conquer earth then die. Haggar was also absent the entire season which definitely didn’t help her storyline in s8 because we didn’t know what she was doing the entire time except abandoning everyone who was loyal to her. 
I’m usually not a fan of time skips, it has the tendency to gloss over character development or create glossed over recap. Honestly I wish voltron spent more time over the blade of marmora massacre or just the bom in general. They received no rest. Literally everyone part of that group died except for kolivan. Speaking of that episode, there was no explanation for how keith was able to know where macidus was about to appear and that honestly bugs me. There’s so much about keith we don’t know. He has so many abilities we were just never told. 
Again a lot of problems within team voltron is that there was never any follow up on things that happened, like keith leaving the team. He becomes the black paladin and no one bats an eye. Lance did make one comment about keith leaving but then it wasn’t ever mentioned again. I get that the writers/producers wanted the dynamic the original had, but they didn’t take the time to work up to it. Keith wasn’t a natural leader, but he suddenly is because he spent 2 years on a space whale with his mom and a space wolf. Like I mentioned earlier, voltron feels like keith is the main character but then they dropped him for a few episodes, realized that he’s important and added him back in while saying “oh he went through a time skip so he grew into the role he needs to be in now”. It feels like a cheap pay off.
I’d like to specifically talk about my thoughts on each season and work back but honestly I don’t think I can remember s3-6 separately. So they’re being chunked together. 
Lotor had the potential to be a really great villain. But he had to be foiled with keith. They have a lot of similarities that I think could’ve really played off well together. Lotor isn’t really allowed to have a leadership position. Yeah he was technically in charge while zarkon was recovering, but haggar didn’t really allow him full control. But, he was a great leader. He knew how to read his enemies and form an alliance. Meanwhile, keith had a leadership position thrusted to him, and frankly he wasn’t a good leader. He tends to keep to himself so he never really has to make decisions with a team. It could’ve been great, but shiro had to still be in the story. I’m honestly conflicted about this because on the one hand, I think it really ruined character developments for the main cast, but then I loved the clone shiro plot line. I think keeping shiro prevented keith from growing. He was able to remain dependent on shiro instead of actually bonding with the rest of the paladins. And of course he had to just go awol. Also, lance didn’t really get to have as prominent of a role as I think he could’ve had with keith. 
These seasons are also when the lions stopped being sentient robots that specifically choose their paladins to just really cool spaceships. We don’t get that level of bonding that was so prominent in s1 and 2. That’s also something I’m conflicted with. I think the lion swap was a great way for character developments, but it also removed a lot of it. It kinda made the bonding feel useless. The swap also changed the dynamic of the group. Instead of shiro and allura being co-leaders, and everyone else feeling like they’re on equal footing, it felt like Keith was the leader with lance being a needed right-hand man. Hunk and pidge were off doing their thing and allura was a leader but also not. Maybe if they had spent more time working with this dynamic it would’ve felt better. But they didn’t and it didn’t. Voltron also implied that allura was the only one that could control the castle ship, but then she goes to become a paladin and who’s driving the ship?
I do wish we could’ve gotten more about the altean colony and the reveal about lotor’s plans, but that got overshadowed and forgotten by the clone shiro reveal. Maybe I just missed it, but I wasn’t sure what the galra empire and lotor were collecting quintessence for. Was it just to make mechs to rival voltron? Lotor’s death was also very unclear. 
The coalition was a much needed thing, but I think very badly executed. They were gathering people from malls. These people are regular civilians who probably don’t know how to fight or fly a ship. I thought it was really weird that they were just getting regular people (aliens?) to sign up like they’re applying to be part of the army. But we never see them maybe join the rebel force matt is part of to learn how exactly to help. I think about avatar and how they also had a rag tag group of people to fight against the fire nation, but these weren’t just regular people living in a village. They were either warriors or very skilled benders. The voltron coalition was just regular people. That genuinely annoyed me because the voltron show just felt like those army propaganda ads, but exciting. Not to mention it was a very hard to watch episode. 
It was definitely making fun of how the fandom complains about how characters are getting reduced to a certain characteristic. But it wasn’t done in an entertaining way like the ember island players episode from atla because some of those were legit complaints (like hunk being the fat/food guy) and that stuff wasn’t resolved. Like the ember island players made fun of sokka constantly talking about meat or katara crying all the time, but the show made it very clear beforehand that these characters are much more than that. Is hunk really more than the food guy? As far as the show mentions, the only things he’s done was make the machine to help find the blue lion, and help save the balmera. All of which was in season 1. After that hunk honestly took the backseat in voltron.
I mentioned earlier, but the time skip on the space whale felt like we were cheated out of keith’s character development. I mean we got development, but we didn’t get to see it. The vlog short showed that keith believes a lot of his problems stems from not having a mom (and a dad) in his life. But instead of seeing keith learning to trust and open up to people despite having so many people in his life leaving him, we get a cute montage of him with his mom. As if it makes sense that two years with his mom would fix everything. (side note, I know a lot of people were saying how obvious it was that krolia was keith’s mom, I genuinely did not know until she said so at the end of that episode).
I’m not gonna talk about my thoughts on s1 and 2 because I’m pretty sure I live blogged those and honestly I don’t think I remember it. 
CHARACTERS
Now I’m finally talking about the characters and I’m starting off with keith as if I haven’t talked about him enough already. I love keith. He’s undeniably one of my (if not the) favorite characters ever. And he’s obviously a fandom favorite if we’re considering the two biggest ships in the fandom. Or maybe he really is just the secret main character of voltron. We know so much about him, for someone who loves keith, it’s great. We basically know his entire backstory, and yet we know no one else’s (except maybe lotor but even that’s iffy).
I never rewatched a single voltron episode since it ended, and I can’t watch any of the connected shows (meaning shows that have the same ppl that worked on it or the same fans, think dragon prince and she-ra) because the fandom was the absolute worst one I’ve ever been in and parts legit trigger me. I am fascinated with fandoms. I love it. I chose my major because it was the closest I could get to just learning about them 24/7. But the voltron fandom was so incredibly toxic and over two ships? Honestly the fandom itself was a major reason why I couldn’t get super invested in the later seasons. I get afraid when it seems like a certain ship might happen. I actually hoped that certain characters just didn’t interact. (I’m not gonna get much deeper in this because I don’t want to touch this topic with a ten-foot pole, at least not now) Aside from that, I think that the plot and characterizations for voltron got really messy post s2. The lion switch was never handled well imo, and post switch the lions lost that sentient personality that was established in the first two seasons. It also didn’t make sense aside from the writers wanted everyone in the original lions. Or at least, we never got the proper character developments into those roles. Keith left right after becoming the black paladin. 
I think another major problem with the show is how some decisions felt like pandering. I remember hearing that they didn’t kill off shiro because he was a fan favorite, so he had to stay for marketing and to make more money. But then keeping shiro alive would’ve derailed the original plot idea. I wish I could see how the story would’ve played out with shiro staying dead.
Draft 2: rewatched the show then started writing this
So I wrote a draft of this like a year ago, realized I don’t remember the show much, so I rewatched the whole show and started rewriting my thoughts.
Pre-rewatch thoughts: It was a good show that was poorly executed
Mid-rewatch thoughts: it’s a really good show that just has some weak points (the second half of lotor’s arc, team voltron’s importance in season 4-6 it feels like a lot of filler episodes until keith shows up again)
End-rewatch thoughts: it's actually a really good show. It has some weak points and some really strong points. Season 8 was confusing though. I went through most of it going yeah okay I guess that can happen.
Final verdict: it's a genuinely good show
What went wrong
It ended on its weakest season, which was also the most abstract and different season. While the main antagonist changed throughout the seasons, it still continued to be the galra empire. Even when lotor joined, the team was still fighting fractions of the galra empire. Meanwhile, season 8 didn’t have any conflict with the galra. The antagonists were honerva and the alteans, who are very different types of villains compared to the galra. There was also little build up to that change. Sure, we got to experience that briefly in season 3 when they went to the alternate reality, but I don’t think that was built up well. Also, the protagonists and the audience are just not prepared. We don’t know how the alteans work like the extent of their abilities, but we were given dozens of episodes to learn about the galra. As a result season 8 just wound up with me feeling confused and thinking “uhh sure I guess they can do that, that makes sense maybe?”
It could not pick who its protagonist is. Yeah the five humans plus allura (and coran?) are the main characters but most shows with multiple major characters still focus one one character as the protagonist. Like atla has aang, adventure time has finn, umbrella academy has five. Voltron just never picks someone and the group constantly changes too, so you end up having to not focus on any character for the sake of time. Of course not all shows do that. Teen Titans had each season focus on a particular member of the team, and tbh I was wondering if that was what they were planning for the show, especially when season 2 was so Keith focused but guess not.
It feels like they did not have the time to fully flesh out the story. Voltron came and went so incredibly fast. They had 8 seasons (technically 6 if you group up the halved seasons). But also the show only lasted 2 years. It honestly horrifies me to think of the time crunch everyone on the team was going through, especially the animators. You can see the drop in quality as there were very few scenes that involved actual animation for the middle bulk of the show. So then, how much time did they have to develop the story, in addition to execs telling them what they can and can’t do. There’s so many arcs that seemed to start then get forgotten, and I don’t blame the writers for that at all. Although I wish we could’ve learned more about Lance and the Altean sword and Keith with his apparent quintessence sensitivity, they probably just didn’t have the time to plot those out.
It had too much outside influence. Such as, the writers wanting to kill off shiro, but then being forced to keep him on the show because the execs said to. And honestly, the fandom. For example, the whole last episode with Lance getting the Altean marks (an obvious omage to ppl wanting Altean Lance).
What went right
There’s a reason why the show became so popular (aside from being a reboot of a popular 80′s show) and it’s because of the characters. I’m not about the whole “we become attached to characters because the writers did them wrong but we fans can see the potential and that’s why fan works are better” bs that I see going around this site all the time. The first season particularly wrote these characters so well. They’re relatable but also intriguing enough for you to care about what’s going to happen to them. 
Some thoughts regarding popular fandom discussions:
It’s a plot-driven show with character-focused fans
I like to think of there being two ways to tell a story: by being character-focused or plot-driven. Plot driven shows are ones like atla, young justice, legend of korra, etc. There’s a conflict that gets introduced and the story revolves around that conflict. Character-focused shows are ones like adventure time or we bare bears, they’re less concerned about a plot line and focus more on the characters interacting with their world. Of course all stories incorporate both parts, just some focus more on one than the other. So, here’s where I think a lot of the issues about voltron and the fandom comes from. Voltron is a very obviously plot-driven show but the fandom is very character-focused. I won’t deny I loved the episodes about keith. Season 4 and 5 were hard for me to watch because I missed my boy. But that’s where the arguments come from. People get upset that their fav isn’t in the spotlight
It didn’t queerbait
I understand watching a show for representation, I really do, but voltron is not that show and that's okay. Not every show has to be revolutionary in its representation of marginalized people. I won't pretend to know the harmful tropes for marginalized people. My consumption of media is not usually diverse. But I will stand by my stance that a large part of voltron's later seasons is about the casualties of war. So of course a lot of people died. I also firmly believe that the producers had a much easier time adding diversity to their own created characters than the main voltron characters, because of rights and all that complicated nonsense. So as a result the ones who were more expendable and could die were also the same characters that they could add diversity too.
I’m gonna add the definition of queerbait here so we’re all on the same page:  Queerbait is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation.
But here’s the thing. We were told at comic-con or one of those cons that Shiro is gay, and he had a boyfriend. They actually gave us that. Yeah it wasn’t as explicit as She-ra got, but that’s another point for later. There was no lying about it. Shiro is canonically gay, and his boyfriend was Adam. If anything, this whole thing came out of wanting Keith in a relationship with Shiro or Lance. Yes. I will admit, there are plenty of scenes between Keith and Lance, and Keith and Shiro that can be read as romantic. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but did any of the cast members tease the possibility of Kl//ance or Sh//eith (VAs don’t count, sorry but they don’t really have a say in the story)? Because unless they did, and they did repeatedly, the fandom queerbaited themselves. So many people in the fandom were so certain that Keith would be in a relationship with one of them, there was basically an all out war. Even if there was a chance, did you really think the creators (who were pretty active in early fandom days) would continue that development? It was so so toxic they were forced to shut off any possibilities of that.
In regards to minority characters
Again, I'll admit vld is not the place to go for real, proper representation. Their characters tend to be characters that happen to be a part of a minority rather than a minority character. wtf does that mean? Well, you can swap (earth) races for just about any character and it wouldn't make too much of a difference in how they act. There's some lines that wouldn't work like Lance's "I'm just a boy from Cuba" but other than that there would be no significant change. Of course this goes down to preference. Would you want a minority character whose struggles reflect those in real life and as a result be defined by that aspect of themselves, or do you want a character that just happens to be a part of a minority group but whose life is not really affected by that? 
Draft 3: months after the rewatch, mostly an attempt to reorganize the previous two drafts
I’m gonna start with the negatives just to get the ranting off my chest. Season 8 was bad. Yeah. No argument there. Although I wouldn’t say it was bad in the same way Game of Thrones and Supernatural was bad. Rather, it was an interesting and complex premise that didn’t have the build up it needed and honestly needed a few more passthroughs to iron out some parts. At worse, I felt it was confusing to the point where I just accepted whatever new worldbuilding thing they threw at me. The issue with Season 8 vs Seasons 1-7 is that Season 8 had a completely different villain, and a brand new cast dynamic. We got 7 seasons (65 episodes) developing the Galra as the villain. We got to learn who they are, their motives, how they operate, etc. Not only that, but they were pretty basic and easy to understand villains. They’re conquerors. They don’t have any sort of magic, they really just use brute force to attack and enslave the planets. In striking contrast, the Alteans in Season 8 weren’t conquerors. They didn’t care about controlling the universe. They also had magic abilities that our main characters don’t understand and didn’t explore. Season 8 had villains who could create illusions, mind control, and manipulate quintessence. The Alteans are leagues beyond the Galra in terms of complexities as an antagonist, but they didn’t get nearly enough time to be fully developed.
Also, Season 8 essentially doubled the cast size. So despite the fact that we have yet to see much of Keith-as-the-black-paladin Voltron group dynamic, now that screentime is being balanced with the MFE pilots and other Garrison characters. Essentially, there were too many characters, and too little time to flesh out the ideas of this season. A side note, Haggar’s (Honerva?) motivations were lame. I think it would’ve been much more interesting if her plans were just to continue the research she did 10,000 years ago with the rift. That would’ve also brought back the rift monsters which we never got an answer for. What even are they? Instead, her goal to have a family again is really weak. Even in the flashbacks she never showed any care for the more familial aspects of her life. It didn’t make sense for that to be her drive. It also didn’t help that Season 8 came out on like the same day as Spiderverse and the antagonists for both had the same goal, but Spiderverse did an immensely better job.
Another thing that didn’t make sense to me was Keith giving the speech to the rest of the Galra. He is not the right character to give that speech. Sure he’s Galra, but he didn’t even know for most of his life. For him to say “we” like he’s also a citizen of the Galra empire feels so weird. He never grew up with the Empire’s influence, and we never saw him experiencing Galra culture with the Blade. He learned about the Galra as an outsider, and despite the fact that he’s part Galra (he doesn’t even remotely look Galra), I don’t think that gives him the authority to say a speech like that. The speech is similar to Zuko’s at the end of ATLA, and that makes me feel like it would’ve been a lot better had Lotor said it. I think even Kolivan would’ve been a better fit than Keith. 
The more I’m writing about Season 8, the more I’m remembering just how messy and confusing it was. Additionally, the last bit of Season 8 was so obviously pandering to the fandom it gives me second-hand embarrassment. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted Lance to be Altean in response to Keith's galra heritage. The Shiro getting married was just to make it more obvious that he’s gay, but had no build up. (There were definitely more but I didn’t write myself a list and I’m not rewatching that season)
Second, “Voltron queerbaited”. [this was posted before here]
Speaking of which, Voltron premiered summer of 2016 and ended in winter of 2018. That’s about 2 and a half years where they aired 78 episodes. That’s stupid fast, especially for an animated series. I’m constantly worried about what the people working on that show had to endure. For sure, Season 3 with Shiro coming back wasn’t written until at least Season 1. I recalled the execs demanding that Shiro not be dead since he was a popular character. It’s honestly concerning how little time they had to work on the show, and it unfortunately showed. In the later seasons, a lot of the shots were just still frames that moved across the scene. And the plot line with Lotor could’ve used some work. Although, I think Shiro being forced in there was also a reason for it being so shaky.
I honestly hate Seasons 4 & 5. I cannot tell you what happened because my brain keeps erasing it. Obviously, the lack of Keith had a huge impact on my opinion of those seasons, but it also felt like a whole lot of filler episodes, and not the fun ones with character development. With Keith mostly out of the picture, and Lance becoming the right hand of Voltron, that should’ve been a great time to develop Lance to become a second-in-command. To have him go through an arc where he overcomes his insecurities. It would’ve also been an amazing time to develop his and Shiro’s relationship. But we didn’t get any of that. 
I genuinely believe Keith was supposed to stay the black paladin and Shiro wasn’t supposed to come back. Keith would be an amazing foil to Lotor. They’re both half-Galra. They’ve both been given a new leadership role that they don’t want. The middle arc always felt so weak to me, and as I mentioned earlier, the Allura/Lotor interactions were awkward. It feels shoehorned in because someone has to interact with Lotor and I guess the writers decided Allura was the best option?
Season 3-6 felt like the epitome of what happens when showrunners are forced to do whatever the execs say and have no time to properly develop their story. I’ll forever be bitter at all the character and relationship development we lost because of that. We never got to see Keith really learn to open up to the team and start to trust others. But Keith still had to get to that point, which is why I assume they had the time jump for him. It’s so disappointing because we lost what could’ve been a great character development. It also made Keith being the Black Paladin again feel cheap. We didn’t get to see the struggle he had to be the leader Shiro saw he could be. He was just suddenly leading them and they worked like a proper team.
Voltron also had a lot of plot holes. Now, I don’t expect shows to answer every question, because it’s impossible to tie everything up and leave no questions unanswered in a natural way. But, there’s a lot of things that felt like the beginning of a plot line or honestly needed some answers. Like, Lance shifting his bayard to a sword. What was the point of that if it was never mentioned again? It felt like that was an important start to an arc for him that just got forgotten. Also, what was up with Keith’s quintessence sensitivity? How was he able to sense where that druid was. How did he know he could summon his bayard to him. I think the part that bugged me the most was that Keith was the only one who did that. Also, Keith’s eyes becoming slitted during his fight with Kuron was never addressed, and I really wish it was. It felt like such a throwaway moment that could’ve been interesting to explore more. Although I’m not too upset with that one as I think we were given enough to piece together a reason for it. 
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ani-does-vyn · a month ago
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                         A Story in Spring : Renewal {1/3} 
"I have a proposition for you."
The walls of the fallen seraph's humble hut had so far been something of a passive comfort, yet Lithirill found no sense of ease.  Her host, and fellow Tel'lmaltath could certainly tell, eyeing her with some hint of concern, slowly rising to his full height, turning to face her once the fire had suitably caught. "Go on."
The encouraging mannerism was commonplace in their interactions thus far, but it didn't do much to make her desirous of speaking her mind, as images played in her head of all she had been plotting in secret, only thinking to bring the matter to him when she -knew- beyond a doubt she could -achieve- her goals. "It is a...personal matter, to you specifically.  I hesitate to even ask, truthfully." At that notion, her company raised  a sculpted brow. How he might've read her words differed from what she seemed to mean by her body language; a normally stood straight, confident woman now half hunched and barely maintaining eye contact.  He simply watched, resting a hand along his hip. It was the only prompt to continue she was going to get. "...Right.  -Arkt-.  I will speak plainly." even then she hesitated, a sigh accompanying an expression of complete honesty, "...I want to reconstruct your wings. I would see you fly again."  
There weren't many things reality could offer him that still surprised, but that had done it, the gentle carefulness in her tone most of all. It wasn't just an offer, but a plea. Arkt's gaze fell to his floorboards, called back to the moment she had seen the tattered remnants, and the conversation that followed where he learned much and more about the individual he chose to champion. Her perseverance in the face of impossible odds had ensured his second chance at freedom from past mistakes, yet here she was still giving. It was not debt fueling her either, but desire, leading him to a thought forgotten sensation; confoundment.
Lithirill only fidgeted in the quiet, narrowing her eyes in passive calculation, half braced for some kind of impact. It took him some several moments to recover, clearing his throat. The ever-present ache at his back he'd still struggled with flared up. Even to this day, the injury pained him, centuries "dead" had been his only reprieve.
"You are firmly familiar with the reasons I lost them in the first place..." he began, watching his company instinctively tense, ready for rejection; instead he would give her a question, "Knowing that, I must ask -why-? To what end would you go to such efforts?" Asked with genuine curiosity, over any manner of accusation; he suspected her of nothing.
Lithirill nodded, crossing her arms and easing her weight onto one leg. "History was one among a few reasons I have debated asking. As for why, well. I feel there are certain wrongs afflicted to those I’ve come to care for, and it is within my power to unravel those wrongs.”
Arkt watched her carefully crafted mask slipping, the woman ever at odds with herself. He wondered if there would ever be a time where she did not engage in the practice, and simply felt at home in his company.
"As you did with Arantheal?"  he questioned, curious to see if he could keep her at that boundary.
Lithirill puzzled over the question for a moment, pondering if it was harmless comparison or an accusation. Foolish to think it the latter, knowing Arkt had no history of resisting her intent.
"...Yes. As I did -for- Narathzul." She corrected, offering a sideways nod and a shrug, "Know I don't need an answer -today-. I only wanted you to know that the idea lingered in mind long enough to...plan for.”
Ultimately, Arkt was touched. Shock still kept a whirlwind of emotions at bay at the mere hint of taking to the skies again, permitting the warmth of the smile behind his veil to only grow as he watched her. She was not having so easy a time, clearly having wrestled with herself on the matter for awhile.
"Is this what has kept you from your usual visits of late?" he wondered, gesturing with a hand in a motion pushing down from his midsection;  'Relax.' he said silently.
Her eyes followed his hand, flicking up to his face like the lash of a serpent's tongue before she took in a breath and let it out, chuckling to herself.  
"In part. Alongside the politicking and the visits somewhere warmer. Thoughts?"
He sighed through his nose as he partly answered with the considering tilt of his head and a prolonged shutting of his eyes, continuing to chew on the notion.
"Too many to rightly voice in a manner composed or remotely understandable. Would you mind returning to Castle Darlan for the moment? I'll have an answer for you come the evening."
"Of course.~"
The professional manner in which she pulled herself together and turned from him showed a wall climbing between them that he had no patience for, the old seraph chuckling when she moved to open the door.
"Lithirill."  
She twitched, shoulders bunching as her fingers fumbled at the doorknob, before she straightened again and smiled a familiar, shy curve over her shoulder. Her eyes lit up a touch when she saw he’d pulled down his veil.
"Yes?"  
"...Thank you."  he spoke, genuine appreciation clear in his expression.
A hint of color, and the wall scattered; his only goal in the moment. She departed with an amused, "See you soon.", quickly on her way.
                                                   ~~~ As promised, Arkt had arrived that evening, uncharacteristically anxious, but Lithirill could hardly blame him. She could not imagine the weight of what her offer truly meant to him.
In times long gone, the loss of his wings, however deeply traumatic, had served a purpose; symbols had power, as much in their creation as their destruction and his fall signaled the end of an era where the Lightborn could rule without fear of repercussion. Yet now that all his battles were over, and this new life lay before him...
It was not long before the old seraph was waxing poetic, teetering back and forth in his words, as was his way. He all but danced between every sentence- whilst Lithirill only offered more wine when his glass neared empty. She refused to rush him in coming to a decision, simply enjoying his company, equal parts devilishly curious and genuinely empathetic.
Such camaraderie came to it's end at the dawn of the following day, Arkt admitting in the quiet of the morning fog that he accepted her offer; even with her many warnings of risk and pain, he had seen firsthand what she was capable of; he knew he was in good hands, even if a fair few of her achievements were with his shadowed aid.
Two weeks had passed since he agreed to her offer, wasting no time in getting started. The first bout had been the hardest thus far- having not yet known just how -much- it took to render a seraph numb, and having the unfortunate task of plucking the feathers he still had. A meticulous, painful, unexpectedly bloody process...but it was safer to start with a clean slate than try to rebuild all that was under them when half the limb had been shorn down to bare bone.
Trippling the dosages from there made things much easier, at least for Arkt. His struggle was not with pain in the familiar sense now, it came instead from a nameless sensation;  the agonizingly slow return of what should never be, able to sense every -tiny- thread of what was lost reconnect. It was as torturous as it was euphoric, and it could only be overcome by sheer force of will.
Tonight would be no different. Lithirill had learned his tells after a few sessions. When in the throes of her spell work, she could spare little attention for observance, but awareness returned as she dialed back, murmuring gentle nothings mostly for her own comfort; though it signaled to Arkt he could stop taking such measured breaths.
The touch of the Sea crept away like the retreating tide, Arkt opening hazy eyes, idly stretching his fingers.  He knew well enough not to move until his companion told him to do so, watching her over his shoulder. There was a slight notion of fear that kept him from immediately looking upon his wings, naked and ghastly as they were. He only had eyes for Lithirill's face, noting the knitted brow and how she clicked her tongue when observing progress, pondering how to proceed.
"I'd hoped to have had bone completely covered by now..." she lamented, drawing again the magicked circles that held his wings in subtle regeneration between sessions, "I've underestimated how deeply the burns go. I should’ve-”
"You need not fret, Lithirill."  Arkt spoke up, a look of assurance crossing fair features, "This shall take as long as it will take, and you have plenty to grapple with without adding the unnecessary elements of haste and worry.~"
"...Perhaps. Still, I don't savor putting you through further pain I could have avoided." she spoke idly, glad he could not feel it as she undid the slings above, gently moving the humble beginnings to rest on cushions whilst she worked tension from developing musculature.
"We went into this knowing it would be difficult. We will endure." he replied, his tone as much an attempt to comfort as it was a statement of fact; she was far too deep in it now to safely -stop-.  "Which for you to manage, requires heady use of those flasks behind you, as I recall."
It was a gentle, but earnest jab to not neglect her own health whilst taking care of him. She might have been Tel'lmaltath, but healing at -this- level for such prolonged bouts tested the limits of even legendary resolves, and Arkt did not fancy the idea of a Shadow God turned Oorbaya.
Satisfied with her ministrations, she sighed and nodded, letting her hand trail down his back as she turned and gingerly stepped away to pluck a flask of Ambrosia from a stockpile. The edges of a smirk tugged at his lips as she made a show of drinking half the vial like it didn't taste awful, raising both brows at him in a silent 'satisfied?'.
"...-Thank- you." he muttered, humming a chuckle, "Do not lose sight of your own well being in concern for me. I must stress, we have nothing but time."
Lithirill tilted her head at him as her eyelids drooped, well accustomed now to the odd heated popping in her ears as the Ambrosia did its work, blanketing the red pressure in her head and quieting the skittering under her skin.
"-Now- whose fretting?" she teased, setting down the flask so she could help him to stand, not letting his wings droop as she supported them from the base, "I don't intend to go hurrying into the arms of the Blue Death, I promise. Come now.~"
Twas a short jaunt to the spare bedroom within her personal quarters, Arkt leading the way and Lithirill matching his steps. The seraph counted his blessings that his pride could not be so easily wounded as she settled his wings into yet another set of slings, these ones arranged to allow them to safely hang whilst he rested. He knew -she- worried about such mental troubles, but he was far too old and that much more taken by fascination in all she insisted upon doing for him to care for foolish things like shame.
"Tell me something, Lithirill." he said, eyes on her as she arranged the vials that would help him sleep, and come the morn, ease his pain,  "What do you suppose I'm meant to do in return for all of this?"  
The question was laced with an undertone of playfulness that reminded her of when the seraph had taken an almost catty tone in Arktwend, all but making -gossip- of the infatuation between those who'd brought Narathzul into the world. She could only raise a brow at him in plain curiosity, willfully stepping into whatever trap this might have been.
"That is hardly a matter to burden the likely recipient, don't you think?  Or am I -supposed- to be reading between some manner of line here?" The teasingly scrutinizing gaze she leveled upon him was nothing to the coy look he gave her beneath the messy strands of his hair, the two locked in a quiet contest before she relented; as she always did where he was concerned. "...ponder and plot all you like, my friend. But hold to that patience you've assured me with. I would say it is early yet to be planning anything more than recovery."  she offered.
Arkt sighed through his nose at that, uncapping the cork to her sleeping drought and drinking it down with a quick chaser of water. Her answer was as good as any. Ponder and plot indeed then.
"Fair enough. Rest well, when you find it."  he bid gently, offering only a smile. For a would be God according to most's definition, who had seen millennia pass and returned even from -death-, he seemed to be handling the life of a crippled patient quite well.
Lithirill could only take that profound patience and trust in her ability to heart; ensure no matter her doubts that she'd finish the job.
She returned the evening farewell and meandered to her own bed, falling upon it like a stone. All too swiftly would the sun rise, and the pair would be again until their great task of renewal was complete.   Lithirill could only hope she'd be done by Spring.
                                                   ~Fin~
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opalesense · a month ago
um um hiii! im like literally in l o v e with ur writing, especially the diluc and kaeya stories (im such a simp omg) and was wondering if you could do some more diluc x reader x kaeya nsfw—
ofc you can ignore this but ty if you consider it!! stay hydrated and safe ily <3
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diluc x f!reader x kaeya (NSFW)
6.5k words • ~40 min. read
summary: after a tense night at the tavern, kaeya accidentally forgets his belongings and comes back to see you and diluc having an intimate moment – or maybe it wasn’t an accident...
warnings: slight degradation, a lot of jealousy!!  drama!!
notes: reader is in a relationship with diluc beforehand just to switch things up a little from my last fic! also this fic favors diluc a lot more so diluc simps come get your juice ;D thanks for waiting anon ily too <3 i’m so sorry this took so long T_T
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SPENDING WEEKEND NIGHTS AT THE TAVERN was not uncommon for you. In fact, whether you were in the mood to drink or not, one of the main reasons you frequently visited the bar was to keep Diluc company, who greatly appreciated the effort you put into making sure he didn’t feel alone while he worked. Evenings with the two of you were often spent idly chatting while he served drinks, which surely kept his spirits up throughout the longer and busier nights. Customers usually commented about how Diluc always seemed to have a grin on his face when you were around, unlike some other nights where his deadpan expression often intimidated the people of Mondstadt and subsequently intimidated the customers themselves.
 That didn’t stop business from booming, of course. As long as the alcohol was good and quickly served, customers couldn’t care less about how intimidating Diluc could be. Neither would they care about how he would sneak some free drinks to your seat across the bar if you asked for it, or how he would shyly rest his hand on top of yours if the night was slow and no one was paying attention.
 In the end, on weekend nights when you were sitting in your favorite seat at the bar that was conveniently never taken no matter how busy the night was (or maybe not so convenient, since Diluc always made sure to secretly reserve it when the weekend rolled around), people knew never to bother the two of you. After all, on nights when Diluc was happy, he gave spectacular service to bargoers, who decidedly took advantage of this hospitality and thus visited Angels Share more often knowing the atmosphere was better if you were there.
 But of course, as soon as a certain blue haired customer walked into the establishment to take his long awaited night off of the week, Diluc couldn’t help but shake his head at you and sarcastically remark, “Well, here comes trouble...”
 “What, are you not happy to see me, brother?” After placing his belongings down, Kaeya took his seat next to you and shot you a friendly grin to briefly acknowledge your presence. “I’ve been coming here after work almost every night for so long – have you finally gotten tired of me already?”
 Diluc rolled his eyes and began making a Death After Noon for his brother, already knowing the specific bittersweet flavor he likes without Kaeya needing to ask. “Come to think of it, it’s about time I take off that family discount of yours, I’ve been too nice to you these past months.”
 Kaeya crossed his arms as he leaned forward on the counter with a scoff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
 “It means I need financial compensation for the headache that you induce whenever you’re in the same vicinity as me,” Diluc joked as he finished making the drink then set it in front of Kaeya, who took the glass with a pout and turned to face you.
 “You hear this guy? Financial compensation... as if he needs it, being the richest jerk in all of Mondstadt to date.”
 “Watch your tone, idiot,” Diluc snapped back as he turned to serve another awaiting customer.
 There was no doubt that the two seemed to get along quite well as of late.  At first it was almost as if they were both trying to impress you by showing you that they could be nice to each other as per your request, but as time passed, competition turned into a slow realization of having genuine concern for each other, and the brothers have been on the road to reconciliation ever since.  Even when Diluc ended up being the one to completely sweep you off your feet and steal your heart, Kaeya never showed any opposition and even encouraged your relationship.  “Despite everything, you truly deserve her, ‘Luc,” you overheard him reassure Diluc months ago after admitting defeat in their competition.
 There was no doubt that you loved Diluc more than anything.  He provided you with everything you could ever ask for, from emotional support and material things to overwhelming satisfaction in the bedroom.  But at the back of your mind, especially on slightly tipsy nights such as this one, lies a certain lingering thought about that certain blue haired brother.  Was it so bad to fantasize about being pressed between the two?  Was it so bad to imagine the feeling of being fondled and manhandled by both of them at the same time?  Was it so bad to be at least curious about being shared between the two?
 You took a sip of your free drink as you stared blankly at the dents on the wooden counter.
 Maybe it is bad, you thought.
 After all, if Diluc mentioned that he wanted a threesome with someone else, you wouldn’t exactly be ecstatic about it.
 That’s why you would never mention these fantasies to either of them, despite trusting them both with all of your secrets after being close with them for so long.  You were scared of how Diluc would react to your curiosity.  You were scared he would get the wrong impression and that your relationship would come tumbling down as a consequence of your little fantasy.
 Maybe it is bad.
 Your thoughts were interrupted by Kaeya snapping his fingers in front of your face.  His head was tilted to the side as if he were trying to meet your downturned gaze.  “Hey.  Did I lose you?  What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
 “I was just lost in thought,” you ignored the subtle compliment and averted your eyes from the counter to look at Kaeya’s face, the shadows of the dimly lit tavern casting on him at the perfect angle to show off his features.  You had to admit he was handsome - hell, all of Mondstadt surely thought so too.  You glanced around nervously looking for Diluc to see a glimpse of his fiery hair heading up the stairs to the second floor, presumably to serve a table.  He was understaffed today, you remember him saying.
 “What were we talking about again?” you asked Kaeya, a little dazed and confused, overwhelmed by the reality of the moment.  The clinking of glasses throughout the tavern, the bard playing the lyre in the corner, and the large group of rowdy men at a nearby table flooded your senses, leaving you a bit dizzy with no help at all from the alcohol.  He simply laughed, gazing down as he swirled his own drink in his glass then met your eyes once more.
 “I was asking how you and Diluc have been,” his sharp stare contrasted with his soft grin as the currently sober man turned his stool to completely face you.  There was intention in his eyes, but you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what those intentions were.  “I know he doesn’t like to catch up with small talk so I don’t like to bother asking him about what’s new.”
 With the heel of your boot you decided to turn your stool to face him as well.  Your knees were less than an inch away from touching his, which made you internally flustered given the fantasy you were just thinking about.  You tried your best to keep your eyes on his face, ignoring his exposed skin just under his neck.  He tilted his head back and took a sip of his drink then continued.  “Besides, I enjoy talking to you more than him anyway.”
 You could see right through him in this moment.  Or at least, you thought you could.  Maybe you were overthinking it, but you swore you could see his sapphire eyes slowly trail from your eyes down your body all the way to your grazing knees then dart back up again.
 Maybe it was bad.  Maybe it was the lighting.
 “We’ve been doing good,” you nodded, studying his face more.  “He’s been a lot happier recently since the two of you have been getting along more.  Don’t tell him I told you that, though,” you leaned in slightly with a wink.
 Kaeya let out a low chuckle at that and looked down at his glass again, taking a moment to form his next words.  With a nod, he let out a sigh of relief.  “That’s great.  You’ve been looking a lot happier too, I can tell.”
 “Oh?  How exactly can you tell?  We haven’t seen each other in a while,” you crossed your legs, feeling defensive, which accidentally brushed his in the process.  You quietly apologized and he slightly lifted his hand up to excuse you.
 “Oh, it’s nothing too crazy.  It’s just the glow in your face and the pep in your step when I see you on the streets while I’m out patrolling.  Seems like Diluc’s got one happy girl,” he tilted his head back for another sip, and for a moment, you saw his genial smile drop as he set his glass back down on the counter.  But as quickly as he let go of his façade , he quickly masked his intentions again with a chuckle.
 He seemed a little jealous, you thought.  But before you could fully form a thought around that idea, Diluc came back with a tray in hand, empty glasses and mugs balancing on top of his palm.  He carefully placed each of them into the sink and got to work on washing then drying them.
 “How have you been, Kaeya?” he said with his back turned towards you both, “You weren’t flirting with my [Y/N] while I was gone, were you?”
 “How could I do such a thing?” Kaeya huffed, seemingly offended.  “Put some more faith in me, brother.”
 Diluc turned around with a glass in hand, drying it with a rag and initially focusing his attention on Kaeya.  You watched as the two stared at each other across the bar for a few moments, the air suddenly getting thicker as they both emanated a strange seriousness, almost as if they were arguing telepathically.  Diluc’s intense stare burned into Kaeya’s cold expression, his arms tensing up so much that you thought he was going to break the glass in his hands.  It was a little scary to witness how quickly the mood could change in only a few minutes, and feeling a little uncomfortable, you decided to stand up and make your way to the second floor balcony for some fresh air, away from the loud atmosphere of the main room and even further away from whatever random feud the brothers sparked up tonight.
 The crisp air was meditative.  It was soothing to stand on the balcony, leaning over the rail and staring into the night sky, letting your mind wander.  Your days were often bustling with work and interacting with people so it was very rare to have a moment like this to yourself.  At first, you figured it would be best to go back downstairs – after all, it had been a week since you’ve talked to Kaeya and it would be nice to catch up with your friend.  But you weren’t sure why the mood was suddenly so tense, especially since nothing had really happened and as much as you knew how Diluc was protective over you, you felt like he was overreacting.
 As you took slow sips of your drink, savoring the taste and gazing upon the night life of Mondstadt below, seconds turned into minutes, then minutes turned into an hours, and soon the moon had settled into the midnight sky and the tavern was nearing its closing time.  You hadn’t realized that so much time had passed until Kaeya, who was usually the last customer to leave the tavern, whistled towards you from below as he was walking home, waving to get your attention then finally turning away and bidding farewell.
 “Darling,” you heard a familiar voice behind you as you were waving back to Kaeya, “Did I do something to upset you?”
 You turned to see a clearly apologetic Diluc standing in the balcony doorway, his arms crossed and hair messily thrown up into a ponytail.  “Why didn’t you come back inside?  We were waiting for you,” he quietly asked as he slowly approached you.
 He placed his hands on your waist and pressed his forehead against yours while rubbing small circles into your sides with his thumbs.  You pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he gladly returned with several more gentle kisses across your face, humming slowly and patiently waiting for your response.
 “You didn’t do anything wrong, Diluc.  I really just needed some fresh air.  I’ve felt a little overwhelmed all night and didn’t notice how much time passed,” you muttered.
 You were telling half the truth.
 You didn’t want to admit that you thought Diluc was being a little overdramatic, and you certainly didn’t want to tell him that you were overwhelmed with the thought of being touched by him and his brother at the same time.  Some things are better left unsaid.
 Maybe that was bad.  Maybe white lies were okay, only for now.
 He pressed one last kiss to your forehead before nodding as he processed your words.  “Let’s get you warmed up back inside, you must have been freezing out here.”
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 “I didn’t think this is what you meant by getting warmed up,” you softly giggled in between passionate kisses as his bare, warm hands traveled up your top to eventually pull the entire damned thing off.  He tossed it off to the side mindlessly before unbuttoning his own uniform top and letting it drape next to yours over the bar stool it landed on.
 “I’ve had a long night,” he trailed the kisses down to your neck, gently biting enough to only leave subtle marks and murmuring against your skin.  He lifted you up onto the counter to get better leverage over you, slowly spreading your legs apart then continuing the kisses down your collarbone.  “And you look so beautiful tonight, I can’t help myself.”
 “Just make it quick, okay?” you nervously looked at the window behind him which allowed the moonlight to illuminate the already darkened bar but also allowed anyone who felt like peering in to clearly see the two of you getting touchy in the tavern.  You let him press up against you regardless, feeling his bulge grind against your clothed hips desperately.  “What if someone sees?” you whispered, teasing him with the idea of getting interrupted and caught, which you knew annoyed him to the core.
 “Good,” he paused for a moment to look up at you, his hungry eyes burning into your memory.  “Let them see that you’re clearly mine.”
 Your heart throbbed at this sudden possessiveness and with a naughty smirk, you decided to give up the innocent act.  With a few swift movements, the rest of your clothes were ripped off until you were half naked, the only remaining bit of modesty you had being the underwear that clinged to your skin until Diluc eventually pulled that off too, exposing you fully to him.
 “So beautiful,” he sighed as he kneeled down in front of you, pulling your hips towards him then pinning your knees to the counter as he lowered his head to your aroused cunt.  “And all mine.”
 You couldn’t help but let out quiet, staggered breaths as he immediately wrapped his lips around your clit, gently sucking and nibbling on the sensitive nub as his eyes remained glued to yours.  “All y-yours,” you reaffirmed, which made him hum in appreciation.
 He had never considered fucking you in the tavern before, especially since he rarely had the establishment all to himself for a shift, but just this once, he was happy he was understaffed tonight.  All the frustrations he had endured this evening, from the annoying table on the main floor to bickering with Kaeya about things that didn’t seem to matter anymore led to this very moment where he hungrily licked your wet folds, burying himself into the sound of your hesitant moans and feeling himself harden by the second.
 “P-Please fuck me already,” you breathlessly begged, “Please, Diluc, hurry…”
 “Cum for me first,” his low voice muttered into your aching cunt, making your legs quiver, “Show me how much you really want it.”
 The whine that escaped your throat was suddenly replaced with a gasp as Diluc pushed two fingers into you, immediately setting a quick pace and pressing into your sweet spot.  “Cum for me, darling,” he let go of the grip on your leg to stand up and hover over your torso, leaning closer to your face and snaking his free hand up your back.  “Be a good girl and cum on my fingers.”
 “D-Diluc…!” you whimpered with a pout, which earned a hum of disapproval from him.
 “Master Diluc,” he sternly reminded you, shifting his fingers into you quicker, causing your brain to malfunction as you began to tighten around him.
 “M-Master…!  I’m…!”
 “Go on,” he ran his fingers through your scalp and grabbed a handful of hair, leaning down to kiss you and muffle your moans of pleasure as you finally reached your climax, gushing around his fingers and trembling at his touch.  You whimpered in his mouth, muscles slightly spasming still as you started to calm down from your high and feel his fingers slowly pull out of you.  While keeping his grip on your hair, he let go of the kiss and stuck out his tongue against his fingers, licking your fluids in front of you and smiling in satisfaction.
 “Good girl,” he said as he revelled in his favorite taste.  You watched as he lapped up all the fluids, the mixture of cum and saliva glimmering on his fingers under the light of the moon through the window.
 Speaking of which, you weren’t sure if it was the way you were slightly tipsy or perhaps the heat of the moment deceiving you, but through Diluc’s messy locks and shiny fiingers, you swore you saw a glimpse of a familiar shade of blue through the window.  It was unmoving, sure, but it was there nonetheless, and it wasn’t there the last time you looked through the glass.
 Maybe it was bad.
 Maybe it was Kaeya.
 Horror sunk into your chest for a fleeting moment, but you blamed it on the alcohol, and the way you were thinking about Kaeya and Diluc so much within the past few hours.  Besides, all the thoughts you were having about the strange color in the window were replaced by the way Diluc unbuttoned his pants with one hand, the other still intertwined in your hair, then freed his cock and let it rest on your stomach as he slowly laid you down across the counter.  He pulled you towards him once more so your head could rest on the wood, his hair-tangled hand acting as a cushion while his elbow took its place beside you so he completely caged you in.  “Be quiet for me, okay?  We don’t want to wake all of Mondstadt this late at night…”
 “I’ll be good,” you promised him, letting your hands travel down to feel his length resting on your skin.  It had some weight to it as you lifted it, and as if you two were mentally in perfect sync, he pulled his hips back to let you position the tip at your entrance.
 Excitement boiled in your stomach as he slowly inched his hips forward, pushing his cock into you little by little, stretching your walls apart by the seams.  Your mouth went agape with the sheer stretch alone and fighting the urge to moan had never been more difficult.  Instead, the only sounds that filled the silent room was Diluc’s heavy breath as he closed his eyes from the way you wrapped around him so well, the gentle gasps and whimpers from you as he bottomed out and nearly hit your cervix, then the sudden rhythmic slapping of skin as he began to pound into you with no warning.
 Your eyes rolled back into your head at the rush of pleasure that came with the rolling of his hips into yours.  It was so difficult to keep quiet, so hard not to at least whimper and give tiny moans here and there as he fucked you silly on that bar counter, but he couldn’t care less since he told you to be quiet and expected you to follow suit.  You knew that.  He instead opted to gently wrap his hand on your throat without applying pressure – simply as a warning.
 You couldn’t control your orgasm even if you wanted to.  The way he stared into your eyes so desperately while his cock kissed your cervix repeatedly made you lose control so easily, and he took advantage of the way you tightened around him by fucking into you harder.  Faster.  Deeper.
 “You’re so fucking good, darling,” his hazy eyes glanced down to your lips with the intent to lean down for a kiss.  “You’re–“
 A loud knock on the door startled the two of you enough for Diluc to stop his thrusts and look up towards the source of the noise, a few red strands of hair draping over your face and tickling your cheek.  He stared intensely at the door, pushing into you again at snail speed as he waited for an indicator of who was the culprit of the noise.
 Another knock sent a jolt up your spine – or maybe it was the way Diluc snapped his hips into you once then slowly pulled back to drag out the pleasure.  With a frustrated huff, he decided to tighten the pressure around your neck and pound into you at the relentless speed he set before, quietly shushing you when you initially gasped in surprise.
 After one more knock, Diluc lost his patience.  It was his greatest pet peeve of interruption becoming a reality.  “We’re closed!” his voice boomed loudly so the person on the other side of the door would surely hear him, startling you at the sudden break of silence.  Clearly frustrated, he pounded into you faster, chasing his pleasure, knowing that he would need to deal with whoever was bothering the two of you this late at night and wanting to quickly reach his release before then.
 “It’s me,” both of your eyes widened at the familiar voice, “I forgot my stuff at my seat, could you let me in real quick?”
 Diluc turned his gaze down past your head to see that, as a matter of fact, Kaeya’s belongings were still at his seat from earlier.  His eyebrow twitched as he quickly pulled himself off of you, leaving you quietly gasping for air and clenching around nothing.
 “Get under the counter,” he whispered so quietly that you just barely heard him, “Don’t move a muscle.”
 Following his command, you made you way under the counter, nestling your naked body next to a cabinet of liquor as you watched Diluc button his pants and loosely put his shirt back on, buttoning it while he walked around the bar towards the door.  At that point, all you could do was listen to a set of keys jingle as he unlocked the tavern door and a gust of cold air rushed through the entrance, strong enough that you shivered behind the counter and hugged your knees to retain warmth.
 “Get your things then get out,” Diluc bluntly greeted Kaeya, who chuckled in response.
 “Aw, why the sudden hostility again?” you heard slow footsteps approach the bar, sending your heart racing with anxiety, “And why the disheveled appearance?  Oh, let me guess–“
 “Get your things.  Then get out,” Diluc said more sternly.  You could recognize that tone from anywhere.  He was furious.
 “But let me guess first!  Judging by the way the tavern is still a mess, I know you weren’t cleaning up the place just now.  And by the way your clothes are so messily put together even though they were so neat and tidy earlier, as well as the sweat on your forehead…  Oh, don’t tell me I interrupted something intimate, dear brother!”
 You didn’t need to see him to know that Diluc’s jaw was tensed, unable to form a response out of pure annoyance and frustration.  And still, Kaeya pressed his buttons.
 “You were fucking her real good,” he teased after waiting for a response and getting nothing from Diluc, ”I could hear it from outside the door.”
 “I fucking hate you,” was all Diluc could say in response.  He didn’t actually mean it, you knew this, but he was beyond irritated.
 Kaeya shuffled to grab his belongings by his seat and turned to face the door.  But as if he weren’t being petty enough, he reached into his bag for something and suddenly tossed it behind him – his house keys, which landed behind the bar right next to your feet.  Your eyes widened at this. You swore you stopped breathing even if you didn’t mean to.
 “I think I might have left something behind the counter too, mind if I check?”
 The silence that followed was unbearable, even if it only lasted a few seconds.  All of the sudden, your heart began to pound out of your chest, not only because of sheer fear and anxiety, but also because of the possibility that Kaeya would see you so vulnerable behind that counter, naked and hugging your knees, waiting for someone to hold you and ‘warm you up.’  Maybe he already did see you through that window.  Maybe it wasn’t just your mind playing tricks on you.
 “Okay, I’m sorry, Diluc, maybe I’ve gone too far–“
 “No,” Diluc interrupted him, “Go ahead.  Go get your keys.”
 What?
 “Seriously?” Kaeya scoffed in disbelief.
 What are you doing, Diluc?
 “Go on.”
 What’s happening?
 “‘Luc, I know she’s there, I’m just messing with you–“
 “No, Kaeya,” Diluc turned to close the tavern door and lock it, “I know you’ve been eyeing her since the very beginning, even before I came along.  I’m not even mad, I just feel sorry for you.  I feel sorry that I took away someone you wanted so badly and that you haven’t been able to move on since.”
 Diluc took a few steps towards the speechless brother and lowered his voice, still maintaining the same intensity and dragging out his words.  “So why don’t you go behind the counter and get your fucking keys?  While you’re there, you might as well fuck my girlfriend with me too, since you want her attention so badly.”
 The room froze in time, only for a moment.  Thoughts began to flood your mind – why would Diluc say that, especially since he was usually very protective over you?  Should you refuse to let Kaeya see you, or let it happen?  After all, it’s not like you weren’t at least a little bit curious how this situation would unfold...
 While you sat in the corner naked and trembling, you held back your breath and listened to Kaeya’s footsteps slowly drag across the wooden floor, the creaking getting closer and closer until he was in your peripheral vision.  “Diluc,” he immediately turned away once he saw you sitting there, exposed and cold, then let out a disgruntled sigh.
 “Come now, Kaeya,” Diluc stepped in front of him to enter the bar and suddenly grab your arm, lifting you up with no hesitation and making you gasp in embarassment.  He pinned your arms behind your back and turned to make you face Kaeya, whose eyes were glued to the opposite wall out of a little bit of respect.  “How about we make this a competition, since you seem to love competing so much?”
 “Diluc,” you whimpered as you tried to struggle out of his grasp with no success, which you didn’t complain about because a part of you wanted to unravel this situation even further.  “Please…”
 “Please what, darling?” he muttered into your ear from behind, “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve been pining for him too.”
 “N-No, of course not,” you whined, “I just…”
 Maybe it was bad.
 Maybe it was bad, but you were going to do it anyway.
 You pressed yourself against his hips, gently grinding on his erection and letting out small whimpers.  Just like Diluc, you hated being interrupted and couldn’t exactly think straight. All of this petty arguing didn’t matter to you, especially since you wanted them both from the beginning either way.  In an attempt to admit your secret without explicitly saying it, you mustered up the courage to mutter, “Please, both of you, stop fighting and just…  fuck me…”
 Diluc tightened his grip around you with a grin, letting out a low scoff.  “Slut.  I knew you were a slut,” your eyes widened and stomach burned in excitement at the sudden degrading nickname he called you, “I bet you’ve been thinking about something like this for a while, haven’t you?”
 You sheepishly nodded as he slowly pushed you back onto the counter, this time laying you on your stomach and bending you over.  “I won’t deny that I’ve been thinking about the same thing lately,” he started to unbutton his top again as you raised an eyebrow at this new information.  He huffed with annoyance as he unbuttoned his pants and turned his head to the dumbfounded brother across the bar.  “Kaeya, either grab your keys and go or stay here and keep her mouth occupied.  I’ll let you decide – just make it quick and quit standing there.”
 With your head dangling off the counter, you watched as Kaeya slowly turned around to face the two of you, studying the scene for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.  As if he finally made a decision, he put down his belongings again, took off his vest, and made his way across the counter, his hips only a foot away from your face.  Meanwhile, Diluc had already freed his cock once more, keeping one hand on your restricted arms and using the other to prod your entrance with his tip.  The excitement was overwhelming, coursing through your veins as you watched Kaeya slowly unbutton his pants as well with a bit of reluctance.
 “Please hurry, Kaeya,” you softly begged, hoping to encourage him to quit holding back since it was obvious he was being overly shy, “Please, I want this so bad…”
 “I’m sure you do, darling,” he adopted the pet name from Diluc, “But I like seeing you so needy for me when I’m moving slow like this.”
 Letting out an impatient growl, Diluc grabbed onto your hips as he sheathed his cock with your cunt all at once, making you mewl and sigh at the feeling of being full again.  He began rolling his hips deeply just as he did before he was so rudely interrupted, never failing to maintain his quick rhythm and making your brain short circuit.
 With his slender fingers, Kaeya held your chin in his hand, lifting your face up to look at his and grinning once he saw how your mind was lost as you burned with pleasure.  He stared at your flushed cheeks and panting mouth, comparing it to the usual calm and composed demeanor you always seemed to have.  He smirked, rubbing a small circle into your chin with his thumb.  “So this pretty, helpless face is what Diluc gets to see every single day?  I’m very jealous, brother.”
 That comment only made Diluc pound into you harder, his weight shifting into his arm to pin you down further.  “Cry about it,” he mocked.
 Ignoring the comment, Kaeya only pressed his lips together in a pout to tease you, slowly taking out his cock which made your mind boggle at the sheer size of it.  He was just as deliciously large as Diluc was, and as he began to stroke it in front of your face, secretly admiring the sight of you being fucked senseless by his brother, you couldn’t help but feel like you were melting in the presence of such dominating forces hovering over you.  Without second thought, you left your mouth agape, letting your tongue stick out in a wordless way of telling him you wanted to take him, to satiate your hungry desires that you hid for quite some time now.
 “Eager, are we?” Kaeya didn’t seem to ever shut up his teasing, “I was just going to stand here and enjoy the show, but if you really want it that badly…”
 One hand on your chin turned into one thumb in your mouth, which you received gratefully nonetheless.  He let you suckle sweetly on his finger, cooing at how pathetic you looked drooling all over it when he hadn’t done anything yet.  All the while Diluc let go of your folded arms and instead used both hands to firmly grip your ass and pound into you deeper, the sound of slapping skin filling up the room along with his shaky breaths now and then.
 A whimper escaped your throat as you looked up at Kaeya’s face,  He didn’t need to hear you say the words to know that you were quietly begging for a taste of him by looking at him so innocently, and as such, your wish was his command.  He took a step forward to nestle the head of his cock into your mouth, his thumb still on your tongue to make you open up wider and let you salivate over the taste of his skin until he slowly began pushing himself deeper, watching your gag reflex just to find out you were taking him in quite nicely.  His heart was aching with jealousy that Diluc was so lucky to have you all to himself, but nonetheless, once he fully bottomed out inside of your throat that he had to remove his finger to fit properly, he saw this as an opportunity to enjoy himself and sighed in pleasurable relief.
 Kaeya’s hands found their place on both sides of your head as he slowly fucked your throat, wanting to relish in the feeling of you wrapped so tightly around him, holding back coughs and tears.  It was a painfully delightful contrast to the way Diluc was relentlessly abusing your aching hole from the other side of the counter, letting out his pent up frustrations of the night in the form of deep thrusts and shameless pants.  Kaeya couldn’t help but leave quiet moans here and there as well while he slowly pushed himself in and out of your mouth, filling your throat up with his entire length just to pull back with a sigh then do it again.
 Eventually, Kaeya became more comfortable with picking up the pace, watching as Diluc’s slammed his hips into yours and yearning for a similar feeling.  His hands traveled through your scalp, tangling through your hair messily as he leaned in to fuck into your mouth with more intent.  You hummed sweetly as Kaeya finally stopped holding back, giving into the pleasure and matching Diluc’s rough pace.  The feeling of the two of them ignoring their feud and instead taking out their frustrations on you made your insides twist and knot together knowing that after so long, your fantasies have come to light – or rather, they came to this dimly lit tavern in the middle of the night.
 Diluc was the first to release himself in you, filling your drenched cunt with his seed and controlling his staggering breaths as he fucked you slowly to calm down from his high.  It made you needy to hear his low groans in their fullest volume, but you knew that that had to be saved for different circumstances.  His fingers that dug into your skin so intensely gently lifted off of you has he wiped the slight sweat off his forehead and simultaneously looked up to watch Kaeya fucking your throat.  If he hadn’t been so exhausted from work tonight, he would’ve secretly loved to invite Kaeya for another round, knowing how tightly your cunt wrapped around him the second Kaeya started touching you.
 Shortly after, Kaeya finally reached his own release too, letting your nose nestle in his trimmed blue hair as he dumped his cum into your throat unceremoniously.  His chest slowly rose and fell with each deep breath he took, trying to control himself as he felt you attempt to swallow his seed while he was still inside you.  The feeling drove him crazy and craving for more, but as he averted his gaze from you to look at Diluc on the other side, a wave of regret and jealousy washed over him knowing that this was probably going to leave him off on bad terms with his brother – again.
 But much to his dismay, as he slowly pulled out of you, Diluc only laughed.  He laughed wholeheartedly as he gently caressed your waist, soothing you while you gasped for air.  Kaeya stood there confused on the sudden lightheartedness in the air, tucking himself back into his pants and getting ready to leave as soon as possible, slightly ashamed for indulging in such an impulsive moment of vulnerability for you and Diluc.
 “Not so fast,” Diluc spoke the first words after the long period of silence once Kaeya started to pick up his belongings, “You’re forgetting your keys.”
 With the help of Diluc, you slowly lifted yourself up to lay on your back, keeping your legs spread and incoherently mewling for more.  Diluc only grinned at this, shushing you with a gentle look and caressing your thigh as he briefly saw his cum pooling on the counter.  Kaeya nervously glanced at you before entering the bar and walking towards his keys next to Diluc’s foot, grabbing them, then standing back up with an averted gaze.  The poor boy was so nervous, but you had to admit he tasted so good.
 Diluc placed a reaffirming hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, making Kaeya lift his head and look into his eyes.  The two shared a moment of eye contact, communicating a shared sense of apology to each other.  Maybe it was bad at first, but regardless of how much they seemed to be at each others throats, they always seemed to make amends in the end.
 “Okay, get out,” Diluc bluntly said, which followed with hurried footsteps towards the door and a quick, “Alright, alright, I’m leaving!” from Kaeya.  The exchange made you laugh, but once Kaeya was finally gone and Diluc had locked the door behind him, you were beginning to get antsy.
 “So,” Diluc trailed his eyes up and down your trembling body still splayed out on the counter, “would you, by chance, ever be interested in doing that again?  Just the three of us?”
 “I want to so badly,” you breathlessly admitted, replaying the past half hour in your head and letting the memory brand into your mind.  “Please, Master?”
 He thought about it for a moment then grinned.
 “I’ll think about it.  As long as you know you belong to me in the end, maybe another round with him wouldn’t be so bad.”
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jonsa101 · a month ago
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Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.
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Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!
Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.
The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.
“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”
This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!
For example:
Oliva and Fitz
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Cristina Yang and Burke
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Cookie and Lucious
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Ghost and Tasha
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There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as
“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”
Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men? 
Let’s dive into it. 
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Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as
“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”
Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.
Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship  and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!
Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.
Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer.  Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!
Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?
Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own. 
That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER
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I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.
So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️
Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale
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yakuwuzas · a month ago
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movie sunday!!!!! so i’m just gonna do another two in one like i did with viddy game saturday last week. gonna also try to keep this one short because i’m so so so so tired and haven’t really been able to think clearly as of late. BUT YEAH anyway, a week ago we watched train to busan and this last past sunday we watched anchorman!!!!!! soooooooooooooooooo, here we go!!!
warning for spoilers and also talk about like death and the zombie apocalypse and all that so yeah heads up!! everything under a tag as usual
first up we’re gonna talk about anchorman actually because i don’t really have a lot to say about it. it was a pretty funny movie. shockingly hasn’t like ... aged horribly. i was kind of expecting it to be just flat out obnoxiously offensive but i didn’t really think it was that bad. the sexism stuff was obviously done on purpose and ramped up because it was supposed to be satirical and poking fun at misogynistic men and stuff so it’d be stupid to get mad over that - but even then i still really didn’t find the jokes over the edge. probably because they gave corningstone like ... good retaliation and stuff like that. she wasn’t just a punching bag, she was just as much as a bitch as them and that was very girlboss of her.
i was mostly worried about dealing with random unapologetic racism or something but it was actually pretty tame, aside from the fact that the cast was just like ..... pretty much exclusively white. sucks, esp with literally all the cameos there were in this movie and how many black comedian actors were really popular back in ‘04 (i mean there have always been black comedian actors that are thriving but this was in the era of like barbershop, white chicks, rush hour, daddy day care, etc) but whatever. i’m not about to search for any socio-political meaning in a movie like anchorman but i would have appreciated at least a quip where they talk about how they’re diversifying the news station by adding a woman but no people of color, like “we’re making media diverse!!! but not that diverse” or something. it just felt really weird to talk about diversity with basically no commentary on race, especially when almost everyone involved was white and this movie being set in the 70s. maybe they tackle this in one of the sequels but i’m probably never gonna watch them SO
here are some parts that really made me laugh
pretty much every scene with brick in it
the dog kicking scene w/ jack black along with his epic comeback
jazz flute
champ yearning for ron
pretty much all cameos were exciting
so basically, i had fun watching it, probably wont watch it again, kind of forgot a decent amount of it, feel the urge to draw champ/ron fanart, it’s over, we’re done.
NOW ONTO THE MOVIE I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT AND WILL HAVE TO SEVERELY INHIBIT HOW MUCH I WRITE TO AVOID SENSELESS RAMBLING!!
-
hello here is the section where i will talk about train to busan
intro
so i had heard about train to busan a lot before watching it. i knew it was a zombie movie and i know the storyline featured a dad and his daughter. the latter is typically all that’s necessary to sell me on content so i was pretty looking forward to this movie. i had it on my watchlist for a while and it’s very much one i kind of skim over and consider before ending up picking something i know is going to be a little more lighthearted (i kind of knew the movie was going to have a sad ending so i wanted to be mentally ok enough. spoiler warning: no amount of being mentally ok could prepare me for this RIP). anyway, i just want to say i’m genuinely so happy i ended up deciding on this. this movie was awesome. NOW LET ME TALK ABOUT STUFF I LIKED. IT’S ALL GONNA BE IN BULLET POINTS BC IF I DONT, I WILL RAMBLE FOR AN ETERNITY ...
GUSHING ................... COMMENCE .........
everything about this movie was so simple that it aged great. it’s been five years and it really hasn’t aged as poorly as some other movies that came out more or less around the same time. i think it’s because they didn’t really use excessive gore or special effects to try and scare you. they just hired some dope ass extras (honestly i don’t think i’ve seen extras go this hard in a movie ever) and kept all the grotesque violence just around the corner. implied carnage is always going to be scarier than actual viscera because you’ll find your mind leaps to worst iterations of whatever you could possibly be shown.
THIS MOVIE HIT ALL OF MY SOFT SPOTS. malewife, dad trying his best, little kid in danger, old people, homeless guy. these are all my empathetic weak points. I CRIED WAY TOO MANY TIMES DURING THIS MOVIE. MY EYES WERE STILL SWOLLEN THE NEXT DAY AT WORK. i feel like this movie was made to target me in specific, im ngl.
idk how i felt about trying to humanize that one dickhead guy at the end (the final boss, i guess you could say) what with him talking about his mom or whatever after he’s infected. i honestly could not care less about it. i guess sure he’s human too, he’s trying to survive. yada yada. but so were all the people he got killed so fuck him.
i find it kind of interesting that we never hear from the mom the entire time throughout the movie. ofc, it’s presumed she’s also died or something but i just thought it kind of interesting that it’s never confirmed that she is dead. could it have something to do with the sequel, penninsula? idk but i watched the trailer out of curiousity and there really doesn’t seem to be any relevance whatsoever.
it was so cool to see like so much interest put into all of the characters, even those aside from the main two. we learn so much from little things as everything unfolds. the baseball team, the older ladies, the people towards the front end of the train, the malewife and his girlboss woman, even the train conductor. i felt myself so invested in absolutely everyone in this movie. i honestly really loved how clever everyone is written, their desire to survive but some still working together while others throw everyone to the wolves and doom themselves in the process. everyone felt so genuinely human. it makes me emotional all over again to think about. it just really was a great watch.
i can’t really remember anything else that i really liked aside from like ............. everything KJANGKAMEKGNA i really enjoyed the production that went into the movie. the editing, the score, the writing, the cinematography, directing. i think i might have like one or two genuine gripes with it and i’ll discuss those in the next section over! i’ll also be sure to come back and add anything i might have forgotten but remember later down the line (i think that’s why these reviews take me so long, i get so worried i left something out and keep procrastinating until it’s been so long i barely remember the damn movie -_-)
ANYWAY, some complaints
i’m pretty sure it’s implied that the MC pulling funding from x organization may or may not have indirectly caused this entire outbreak to happen in the first place later on when he is called by his employee who is riddled with guilt over the financial decision he played a part in. HOWEVER, the first scene of the movie shows that the virus was already affecting fauna. there already was an outbreak, so while we are watching that scene - us, as the audience, already know it wasn’t their fault. i think that scene would have been more impactful if we, as the audience, were also left doubting the mc’s past actions and later accepted (broken heartedly) his death as atonement for his possible role.
that scene where the mc and the homeless guy need to take off running sneakily from the zombies but the homeless guy steps on a can of soda is dumb. it did kind of ruin my immersion. i thought it was super corny and maybe should have been left as like an extra whatever scene for the credits or some shit.
they establish in the movie that the zombies can hear and see you but do not “sense” you or scent you. so if you soundlessly sneak by them (as they do many times in this movie), you will supposedly go by undetected. there are a number of times where this is contradicted in the movie and the zombies will randomly attack just for that jumpscare/suspense factor. i found it kinda lame that it broke it’s own universe rules for the sake of cheap hollywood scares.
in conclusion
i really liked this movie a lot. i don’t know if i’ll watch it again because i don’t think i want yet another emotional breakdown but i’m still super glad i experienced it and hope i get to witness more awesome movies like this in the future!!!! :D maybe i’ll check out penninsula some day! it didn’t seem to be in the same ballpark as train to busan whatsoever, but still seemed kind of interesting conceptually. kinda wanna find out if there’s anything that ties them into the same universe aside from zombies.
ANYWAY that’s all for now!!!!!! hopefully i will now be able to start posting these on schedule now that i’m caught up and no longer a million years behind on everything. -_- ANYWAY BYE BYE SEE U IN A FEW DAYS WHEN I REVIEW WHATEVER I DECIDE TO WATCH THEN.
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allisoooon · a month ago
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Klaus, Addiction, and CodeBendency Part Five | The Codependent: A Different Kind of Addict
Warning: I am probably a bit harder on Ben than I am on Klaus, but it’s not because Ben is worse. It is simply because everyone knows, or at least has heard, that drug addiction is bad, whereas codependency is applauded and encouraged.  For proof of this, just look at how fans talk about Klaus vs. how they talk about Ben. Even Klaus’ biggest fans know the drugs are bad for him, but Ben gets described as “the angel on his shoulder” and praised as if a saint.  This behavior isn’t saintly just because it’s done for someone else’s benefit.  People don’t have any such rose-colored glasses for Luther, who has the second-most codependency issues, or Allison, who probably has the third-most.  Luther is seen as a controller and Allison is seen as a meddler, but Ben has pushed past that weird threshold for codependents where he’s become so extreme that he’s just seen as exceptionally patient and selfless.
The reality is that codependents are not UNICEF volunteers, they are not running homeless shelters or tutoring at-risk kids.  Codependency is not a sign of a charitable disposition, nor a healthy expression of one. Codependents are nearly as self-destructive as the people they are trying to help, and just as in denial about their wrongdoings toward both themselves and others.  They will take the blame for everything except what they have actually done wrong (because being confronted with something you did wrong while juggling self-blame for everything else is overwhelming).  They manipulate, obsess, and self-deny themselves sick.  Celebrating their “selflessness” is celebrating the horrible pain they endure because they think utter self-denial is what they need to do to be a good friend or family member.  It’s not unlike Luther admiring how Klaus seems “so carefree” and wanting to “be Number Four.”  Ben loves Klaus, hates seeing him in pain, and thinks that the only response is to regulate the behavior Klaus refuses to regulate himself.
Ben is not the angel on Klaus’ shoulder.  Ben is, in his own way, just as much of a mess as Klaus, and a lot of it is because of Klaus, though not always Klaus’ fault.  Season two shows him longing for a life separate from Klaus, but we never get to see him actually attempting such.  It probably wouldn’t last.  Ben’s situation is that Klaus is the only person he can interact with. The show has made his position symbolic of the sort of relationship they have—Ben cannot take part in the world except through Klaus.  And where does that leave the both of them?  Absolutely nowhere.
I’ve heard it said many times that a codependent is an addict in their own way—addicted to people. Unable to maintain their own sense of self, they gain it from other people.  Ben is a literal ghost who has to stick close to Klaus if he wants to interact with the world at all, so the show’s leaning pretty hard on the people-addiction thing.  If he had resurrected at the end of season two, he would have emerged into a life where he had no idea who he was or where he fit in.  Knowing he wants some boundaries with Klaus doesn’t mean he knows who he would be without him.
I mentioned in another post how many loved ones of addicts would give anything for the addict to open up to them and let them help them.  That’s what this is for Ben, but taken to an extreme.  He cannot escape Klaus, so his only option is to help him, and Klaus does not want to be helped.  Ben has no other purpose in life, can have no other purpose, because of the nature of his existence.  And yet, his situation isn’t 100% fantasy.  Plenty of spouses and children of addicts are in his position.
This is such a pervasive and agonizing problem that you have groups like Al-Anon specifically for the loved ones of addicts.  Unfortunately, if Ben picked up reading material about this topic, he’d find “loving detachment” hard to accomplish.  He could always stop reacting to Klaus’ bad behavior, but that’s easier said than done. So what he veers toward is manipulative and unhealthy—not because there’s no better way, but because he’s become so burnt out and resentful after all these years that even his acts of love have a drop of bitterness.
A normal person’s world revolves around themselves, and what I mean by this isn’t that narcissism is the default, but that we all worry about our own shit before we help other people with theirs.  Ben has lost this.  Klaus deals with Klaus first, but so does Ben.  Even when Ben complains about leaving the cult behind, he never tells Klaus why he wants to stay, just berates him for not doing so. Codependents don’t often feel like they can express their own needs or give a good enough reason to prioritize them over someone else’s.  They build up a massive amount of frustration by suppressing their needs and desires in favor of someone who probably never asked them to do so and get angry when they perceive this sacrifice is not appreciated.
I’ll tell you, you guys, I was definitely codependent before becoming an addict, and it was actually one of the reasons I started drinking so much.  I got mad when I had friends who weren’t grateful in spite of all I did for them, and only later realized that what I’d been doing wasn’t serving—it was controlling.  I wanted to be an amazing friend to someone, so I spent hours and hours she never asked me to spend researching things for her wedding.  She never once thanked me, and I was so frustrated, but the truth is, she only asked me to help with choosing a musician, and I’d been looking up clothing, venues, making calls while on the clock, just generally going way overboard.  Looking back, I suspect she felt smothered by the whole thing.
Which is the cycle we see with Ben and Klaus.  Klaus is self-destructive, Ben tries to help, Ben goes overboard, Klaus responds by pulling away or lashing out, Ben gets frustrated, Klaus continues to be self-destructive.  Meanwhile, Ben would give anything for Klaus to stop using, but is entirely unequipped to know what to do after Klaus does stop using because Klaus needs, at the very least, people who have been through what he’s going through.  There’s a reason support groups work so well.  Ben is so puzzled about why this isn’t working and so disappointed when Klaus relapses, not knowing enough to realize Klaus’ situation was unsustainable.  Ben’s not a therapist.  Ben’s just doing his best for someone he loves dearly, but in such a way where it makes them both uncomfortable.
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 Credit: I could not find the maker of this gif.  If it’s yours, let me know.
 Addiction is a coping method, not a lifestyle.  So is codependency.  In the face of Klaus’ self-destruction, Ben feels powerless, angry, and afraid.  When that happens, it’s not natural to go “well I can’t do anything” and drift along at the addict’s side without ever intervening. So you intervene, and it doesn’t work. You step it up, intervening more often and more forcefully because you cannot deal with actually being powerless over this situation.  Every time they resist your help, you feel struck in the face.  You don’t get why they love their addiction more than they love you.  They must, because otherwise, why is the addiction standing directly between the two of you?
What does Ben really want? Yes, he wants Klaus to be sober. Yeah.  But what he really wants, and what his behavior often gets in the way of, is a close relationship with his brother.  In a lot of ways, you think your own ego is getting in the way of that, so you get rid of it, and…you’re not closer to this person you love.  You just feel shittier.
Welcome to Ben’s existence.
But the real kicker, and what makes Ben a codependent and not just in a codependent relationship, is that when Klaus gets sober, Ben’s behavior doesn’t change.  I mean, he has his moments (refusing to fight in the bar in the first episode of season two, excellent assertion of boundaries my man), but his attitude is still very much that he is Klaus’ babysitter.  This brings us back to what I said at the beginning of this post: people know addiction is bad, but commonly don’t know what codependency is or why it is bad.  I think that includes Ben.  Ben knows Klaus has a problem, but I don’t think it’s occurred to him that he has a problem as well.  
Not all of Ben and Klaus’ interactions are codependent.  Many are genuine, honest, and loving.  The scene with Hazel and Cha-cha where Ben encourages Klaus to use his power to turn his captors against each other, then tells him how proud he is of him?  Beautiful.  There are many times we see the love these two have for each other, and often it’s non-verbal—the crushed look on Ben’s face when Dave strikes Klaus, Klaus’ gutted look as he lies in bed and deals with Ben being gone forever, Ben ending his attempt for control and just asking if Klaus is emotionally ready to try to save Dave’s life, Klaus letting Ben borrow his body to experience the world. With so many words spent talking about how unhealthy this relationship is, I want to acknowledge that parts of it are healthy and that the contention wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t so much love there.  And some of the contention is normal sibling stuff, the kind that ceases to exist the instant something serious happens.  For example, Ben deliberately freaking Klaus out by moving closer every time he closes his eyes.
Ben is not a bad person. Neither is Klaus.  Addiction is a reaction; codependency is a learned, compulsive behavior.  Both make you do bad things.  Both can be unlearned.  Klaus knows he can recover; Ben does not.  As much empathy as we can have for Klaus, we can also have just as much empathy for Ben. He is trapped, with no one to tell him he doesn’t have to suffer or teach him a better way.  He’s stuck watching the person he is closest to, someone he has always loved (Word of God is that Ben and Klaus were close even before Ben died), treat himself like garbage.  He has literally watched Klaus die.  As hard as Klaus’ addiction is on their siblings, Ben is the one who has seen the most of it.  When you love someone, you hate anyone who treats them the way Klaus treats himself.  That creates a fun little paradox for Ben to cope with.
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ayellowbirds · a month ago
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Ranma: One or the Other, ch. 3
Click here to view the previous chapter here on Tumblr, or here to view this one on AO3.
Chapter 3: Morning Routine, Anything But Routine
Ranma tries to learn some things; everyone's (least?) favorite swordsman shows up. Tofu-sensei conspicuously does not appear.
Ranma spent most of the night making very awkward small talk with Kasumi as their respective families gave them space. It wasn’t as if there was anything wrong with her. In fact, she was probably the nicest person he could remember ever meeting, regardless of gender.
But that was part of what made it awkward. Ranma wasn’t used to nice. He was used to making excuses, he was used to fighting his way through. He’d figured that the engagement announcement meant he was going to have to face a challenge like that stubborn Akane, or the weird middle sister who kept looking at him like a farmer sizing up animals for slaughter.
So, the conversation had been pleasant, and enlightening. But Ranma kept feeling like he had to bite his tongue, and hadn’t really learned most of what he wanted to know. He’d wasn’t used to being around girls for so long, as far as he could remember. Certainly not one so… girly. The only exception he could think of, well…
...the less he thought about her, the better. An itch made Ranma reach for his cheeks, and let out a soft hiss.
From her place by the sink, washing the remaining dinner dishes and preparing ahead of time for the morning’s breakfast, Kasumi smiled quizzically at him.
“Hm?” she prodded.
“No, just, thinking about the past,” he said. He looked around the kitchen. There were questions he didn’t think it was right to ask. Why a daughter was doing all of this instead of a parent. Whether there was anything Kasumi would rather be doing with her life, if someone else stepped in for her. Why she felt so familiar, in her quiet, restrained grace.
Why it was that he felt like her knifework in the kitchen was as impressive as any fencing he’d seen throughout his travels, or why Kasumi held herself in the kitchen like a lot of those fencers held themselves in combat.
“So, you got any hobbies?” was what he asked, instead.
“Oh my, yes,” Kasumi replied. “Cooking, mending clothes, keeping things tidy.”
Ranma thought about that. It sounded more like chores than hobbies. He said so.
“I suppose,” Kasumi hummed as she finished setting the rice cooker to keep warm overnight. After a moment’s silence, she added, “I do enjoy reading.”
Ranma managed an, “oh?” in response, and felt like kicking himself.
“Yes,” Kasumi replied. “I have a friend who has been lending me the most fascinating books on medicine. I’ve even purchased a few of my own, and cookbooks, of course.”
Ranma nodded. He knew a bit about taking care of yourself and fixing injuries, as a result of his training. But there was something respectable about people who tried to learn more than that. He didn’t think he had the head for it, but that was all the more reason to admire it.
“You wanna be a doctor or something?”
He could swear that the slightest crack in her expression showed in response to that question.
“I have such a fulfilling life here. I hardly need to think about things like that,” she replied, the smile feeling ever so slightly less genuine in Ranma’s eyes. It might have been his imagination; he couldn’t even dream of that.
But having a home, a family, a routine like that? It sounded pretty okay.
“Well, if there’s any way I can help out,” he began, and as her head cocked slightly to the side with an unspoken concern, he added, “after all, I’m probably going to be staying a long while, uh, yanno? All things considered.”
“That’s very kind of you,” she replied, “but don’t worry about me.”
Ranma puffed himself up. “That ain’t it. I mean, sure, it’s the right thing to do. But I’ve spent a lotta time just being on my own with my old man, and now there’s all the time where it’s Lina instead or me. We haven’t exactly learned how to cook a lot, and I ain’t exactly the best at sewing.”
Kasumi’s smile brightened ever so slightly, and she said, “I’d be happy to teach you something, Ranma.”
He didn’t ask her why nobody else seemed to have made the same offer, or if it was weird or wrong that a boy wanted to learn those things. He didn’t ask her about why she’d offered to be the fiancée, and why she was so happy to teach him or spend time around him when she already had so many responsibilities.
When the morning came, all his questions were replaced with a new one about learning.
“What do you mean, ‘school?’” Ranma asked his father, feeling more than a little lost. He hadn’t had many opportunities to be himself, lately, especially since Genma insisted on the cheapest (and wettest) travel options.
“We’re going to be here for quite a while, boy,” his father explained, as if it wasn’t obvious on its own, what with the whole idea that Ranma would become heir to not only the Saotome school, but also the Tendo school of Musabetsu Kakuto as well. “There’s a limit to how much I can teach you, and maybe spending some time around boys your age again will help with the whole… ‘Lina’ thing.”
Ranma bristled at that, but then felt someone approaching from the hall.
“Furinkan High School,” Nabiki explained, walking past in a uniform. “Akane and me go there, too.”
As she passed, the aforementioned younger sister appeared, in the same uniform.
“You ready, Saotome-san?” she asked, looking tense.
“Me?”
She grimaced. “Well, we’re in the same grade, and they’re probably going to stick you in my class, too. I guess you can follow me there.”
“Right, I mean…” he began, but she was already walking ahead. He got up and followed, slipping into his shoes and walking out into the morning light in a single movement to catch up. “You can call me Ranma, yanno.”
She turned, frowning, and then seemed to startle.
“Yo. Up here,” he called from above her. There had been a convenient and secure fence along the local canal, and he never missed an opportunity to practice his balance.
“Right. I’ll call you what I feel like,” she said, and turned back to continue on her way.
The two of them continued in silence for a while, before the annoying feeling needling at Ranma’s nerves caught up to him.
“Right, you don’t like me,” Ranma said as he hopped down from the corner of a fence, onto the sidewalk. He started ticking options off on his fingers. “I figured it was cuz I ain’t her, or that whole thing with the bath, but that obviously wasn’t my fault, and it’s not like we’re being forced to be friends or anything. I mean, apparently I’m engaged to your sister, not you.”
“Like that makes a difference!” Akane snapped at him, and then paused. Something else flashed on her face that Ranma couldn’t place, and she continued, “you—you saw! In the bath!”
“Aw, for real?” Ranma asked. It really wasn’t his fault. At least, he was pretty sure. “You walked in on me!”
“It’s completely different when a girl sees a boy!” she retorted.
Ranma didn’t know why that stung so much, but he turned the feeling outward. “I wasn’t trying to look!”
“You could have at least done something to keep anyone from walking in on you!” Akane yelled, more to the street ahead of her as she picked up speed, stomping along at a brisk pace.
Ranma had had enough. He somersaulted off the fence, reaching into his back pocket as he did. It had the desired effect when he landed in front of Akane and held out what he’d grabbed.
The plastic baggie dangled in front of Akane’s stunned expression, while Ranma felt his own face set into something more resolute.
“I tried. I’ve tried hundreds of ways. Every time that I’ve locked a door, the catch slips, the hinge breaks, someone desperately needs to bust in or comes through a window. Every time that I’ve carried an umbrella or worn a raincoat, I’ve fallen into a puddle or stream. I tried borrowing a fisherman’s gaiters once, and I wound up walking under a burst pipe,” he said, not budging an inch. He jostled the bag, the tiny spiral notebook inside bouncing against the pair of cheap pens kept with it. “Eventually, Lina explained it to me.”
He opened the baggie, flipping to a particular page. In black, the rough writing of someone too impatient to take the time to get the characters perfectly legible, yet with a bit of a distinctive curl to it. In red, an almost annoyingly cutesy, yet somehow energetic style entirely in hiragana and katakana. Near each batch of writing was a date, and sometimes a time.
He showed it to Akane, reading off what had been written.
“Like she said, ‘it’s a curse’. That doesn’t just mean I can’t touch cold water, or hot water for her,” he said, feeling that familiar misery returning. “It means that, any time we try to avoid it, we’ll get splashed anyway. Usually at the time that would be the most inconvenient for us.”
The written conversation had more, about how the guide at Jusenkyo had explained that some people tried to come in for a specific curse to change their own bodies to an ideal, only to leave having somehow fallen into the wrong one. He’d given up on keeping signs simply because there was no point in the first place. A curse was a curse. You couldn’t make it a blessing.
Akane stared at the pages, her mouth moving slightly as she read.
“You— the two of you talk to each other? Through this?” she asked.
“Yeah”
“This, I mean—Saotome-san, the dates and times here,” she mumbled, grabbing the book out of his hand in spite of his noises of protest, and flipping through it. “There were times when you were switching constantly, and then not for weeks?”
“That’s the other part of it,” Ranma said. “If it’s really inconvenient to switch back, Lina says there’s a reason that she’ll suddenly find it hard to find hot water. Same goes for me. It’s. A. Curse. If there’s a situation where it’s gonna be bad for me to be seen as me, then that’s gonna happen. If it’s a problem for Lina to be around, you can be you’ll hear her.”
He felt a familiar twinge of annoyance that he’d gotten used to thinking of as his ‘Lina Sense’.
Akane handed the booklet back to him, looking a bit more considerate.
“That’s… hard,” she admitted, at least giving him that.
“You’re telling us,” Ranma replied, as he slipped the book back into its baggie and sealed it against water. As he shut it, two pairs of instincts warred within him. There was the drive to be a man among men, which he was pretty sure was all his dad’s influence, and there was the need to be seen as his own person, which he was starting to think had gotten worse when he wound up splitting his time with a different person. And finally, there was a feeling that pushed back against his father’s influence, a wordless sensation that almost had a voice, telling him it was ridiculous.
He took a deep breath, and bowed to Akane.
“I’m sorry about what happened in the bath. Promise,” he said, without looking up. “I hadn’t been up for days, and everything took a while to review and understand and I’m just making excuses, damn it. We should’ve said something sooner, instead of taking the chance something like this would happen.”
Akane was silent longer than he liked. Was she gonna reject the apology? It would be just like a girl to do that—no, that was his old man’s way of thinking, again. The kinda stuff he hated having thrown at him, so why should he turn it on someone else?
He tried not to think about how much that felt like more Lina Sense.
At last, Akane broke the silence. “We’re going to be late, we should move.”
When he looked up, she was running full-tilt, her footfalls not the movement of someone who focused on running or sheer athleticism, but speeding away from him with power. Like a locomotive in the form of a teenage girl.
He’d have to see what she could teach him of the Tendo style.
“Hey!” she yelled, looking back at him, “come on, Saotome-kun!”
‘Kun’, was it? He figured that was a start. It was friendlier than he got from most people his own age.
He followed after, matching her speed with his own lighter steps. One good aspect to the curse was that the extra effort Lina needed to make to keep up with Genma’s idea of training had translated into muscle development for him. He was kind of curious about that, and had a vague idea about the differences between boys and girls, but he wasn’t really sure what it meant. Maybe Akane knew.
“Hey, so,” he started, and then caught himself, “Tendo-san, what’s the deal with boys? I mean, men—”
She let out a noise like a growl. “Men. Men are fine.”
That wasn’t what he meant, exactly. “No, I mean—”
Suddenly, he was distracted by a noise from ahead of them. The building that Akane was leading him towards sure looked like a school, and it sounded busy. But his ear for a threat told him it was too busy.
“It’s boys,” Akane began, as a crowd of people rushed out of the gates to meet the two of them, yelling and holding themselves with the tension of someone ready to strike. “I can’t stand boys!”
The crowd surged out of the bottleneck of the gates. Ranma saw every kind of athletic uniform he could imagine, from soccer to boxing, and more than a few boys wearing karategi or judogi. Above the heads of the crowd, he saw lacrosse sticks and shinai waving.
Akane was clearly the target, if the fact that most of the boys were calling her name was any indication. Ranma leapt into the air as they crashed down like a human wave, while he saw Akane pressing forward to meet them.
Ranma watched from a perch atop the school’s outer wall as Akane powered through the boys attacking her, with practiced ease. He was shocked to see how well she handled herself against such a large crowd, striking simultaneously in two directions at once. Was this more of the speciality of the Tendo school, or was this something unique to Akane?
“Yo, Ranma!” a familiar voice called out from above. He looked up to see Nabiki waving from an upper story window, calling out, “get your butt inside already!”
He looked down, indicating the chaos below.
“Never mind Akane,” she insisted, just as Ranma realized the battle had ended.
As he surveyed the field full of fallen and beaten boys, Ranma felt a chill in the air, and a cultured-sounding voice broke the silence of the battlefield.
“Lo, fools all; ‘tis evident that each one had intended to win thine hand in battle, Akane-san,” said an older boy clad in kendogi and holding a rose or something. Unlike the others, he carried a bokuto, the wooden sword looking far more painful an implement than a bamboo one.
“Kuno-senpai,” was all the acknowledgement Akane offered him. She didn’t look impressed, even less so as he tossed the flower in her direction.
“Tendo Akane,” the older boy asked as he settled into a ready stance, bokuto leveled at Akane. “Might I beg the favor that you now face mineself?”
Ranma hopped off the wall, saying to Akane, “you’re sure popular.”
Either the sarcasm fell flat, or she was still pissed off at him. What was it going to take to get her to chill out?
“Keep back, you’ll just get hurt,” she said. Well, at least that seemed kind of like she was viewing him as a fellow human being.
“Seriously,” he asked, leaning in closer. “What’s the deal?”
Akane was just finishing telling him, “you’ll find out,” when the bokuto swung to point in his direction. But there was no immediate threat to react to; its wielder was simply using it to point. Kinda childish.
“Thou, hark!” the kendoka said, “art thou not being too familiar with Akane?”
Ranma decided to ignore the irony of him talking about familiarity while using her name without a suffix. He thought about the right answer, and it came freely.
“I guess I’m her brother-in-law?” he said, specifying ‘義兄’.
“Th—thou darest?” the other boy gasped, continuing, “to name thyself as a sworn brother of the noble and beautiful Tendo Akane? Vainglorious cur, who art thou? Yea, ‘tis the custom to give thine own name first! Thus shall I give mine!”
Ranma looked to Akane, giving a gesture he felt conveyed, ‘what the hell?’.
“Dost thou ignore me? Thou shall know regret, for I am that same upperclassman Kuno Tatewaki, of the junior year’s class ‘E’! Famed captain of the Kendo Club, and the undefeated rising star of fencing at the level of high school students,” he continued. As he did, Ranma realized that clouds had begun to gather, and lighting struck in the near distance with a crash. “Mine peers doth know me as well as none other than the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School!”
This time, Ranma took the pause as an invitation to speak his piece.
“I think there’s a misunderstanding, sorry,” he said, indicating himself. “You know Akane’s sister, Kasumi? I’m engaged to her.”
Kuno’s eyes widened, and then narrowed, as he gasped. “What!?”
He lunged suddenly at Ranma, but in the instant before Ranma would dodge, he realized that the other boy had dropped his bokuto, and his arms were thrown wide. Before Ranma could fully process that, he found himself in the sort of embrace that only men who were convinced of their own status as manly warriors could deliver.
“Brother!” he cried out, lifting Ranma hard enough that the Saotome heir could swear he felt ribs crack.
“...cool, good,” Ranma gasped, struggling to free himself. Instead, Kuno released him, weeping tears of joy. Ranma felt as if, were his life a manga, the art style would have abruptly changed.
“Oh joyous day, to meet one such that I may join not only in camaraderie, but in the bonds of family!” Kuno continued, apparently not noticing that Akane had begun to walk off on her own. Ranma saw the expression on her face as she glanced back at him, and it said all too clearly, ‘better you than me.’
“But, I mean,” Ranma tried, then again, “you ain’t exactly engaged, are you? Kinda seemed like Akane-san wasn’t interested.”
“Ah, truly, you are young, my brother,” Kuno continued, this time adding in the English ‘my brother’ instead. What was this inconsistent characterization? Ranma felt like he was switching genres. Kuno posed with a hand to his heart and the other towards the sky, intoning, “it is the way of one so delicate and refined, yet embodying athleticism in the martial arts, that Tendo Akane doth outwardly spurn all romance. For who could win her heart but one who could win against her on the field of battle?”
Ranma boggled. “And you’ve done that? You’ve beaten Akane?”
Kuno began to chuckle softly, smugly. He set a hand down on Ranma’s shoulder, and looked him in the eye with confidence and charm oozing out of his curly bangs.
“Not a single time, nay.”
Ranma was going to say something about that, but then he felt the first drops of rain start to fall, so instead he said something not meant for polite conversation.
——————————————————————————————————-
“Ah, shit,” Lina groaned, feeling the familiar sensation of soggy clothing and the realization that she was somewhere other than where she was last. Ranma’s experiences started to filter into her memory as she tried to recall what had just happened.
The idiot that Ranma’s memories told her was Tatewaki Kuno was gaping at her, his hand still on her shoulder.
He sprung back, shocked and confused. Well, she figured she’d have to explain the whole thing. No point in keeping it secret.
But instead, Kuno cried out, “Sorceress!”
Lina looked around, and indicated herself.
“Yeah, so?”
A quirk of Kuno's character and reactions to Ranma (that I only caught onto while rewatching the series exclusively with subs) is that he only speaks of Akane with the -kun honorific. That's why he flips out on Ranma in the first place, because our genderfluid favorite just calls her "Akane". I tried to capture this by doubling down on the use of suffixes this chapter; I hope it works out. --Rainbow
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bonny-kookoo · a month ago
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Rabbit Boy | JJK x Reader | 🔞
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Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
Wordcount: 10.3k (Long)
Genre: Romance, Friends/strangers to lovers, Smut, BDSM because I'm making that a genre now
Tags/Warnings: BDSM themes (please I'm begging you stop reading my shit if it makes you uncumfortable), mentions of restrainment, light shibari, edging, orgasm denial (very mild), Subspace, Domspace because yes thats a thing, Dom/sub dynamics, Biting, Oral (m and f receiving), riding, and not the horseback kind if you know what I mean, protected sex yes, we love an organized household, there's just so much sweet filth istg
Summary: Jungkook is wild, untamed, and doesn't really commit to anyone for long. But maybe, you're his only exception in this world. Maybe, you're really that perfect partner he's been looking for.
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Jungkook likes to think of himself as an artist.
Sure, if people knew exactly what the young man does in his freetime (or as a side job, don't judge, we all want to make money out of our hobbies stop lying to yourself), they would surely look at him differently.
But he's an artist, nonetheless.
Technically, Jungkook also doesn't need to do what he does simply for the money. No, his main job pays very well- considering that he's one of the top elite in his genre of games. He doesn't just merely play and win a game; Jungkook, just like most things he touches, claims complete ownership of the match he's fighting. It's a well known fact that he's someone who likes things for himself. He loves control, craves to lead, and hates to be belittled.
Oh and yeah- financially, investing in an indie-game three years back had also done his bank account some good.
Now, at an age where he can be fully considered a man, and not a boy anymore, he craves control in different aspects of life- and love.
Jungkook has a problem however.
He's wild.
Not in the way one might think he is (although several people could argue that yes, that's also the case in bed..) but generally. He loves to control- but he hates to be tied down.
And a mindset like that doesn't work well with relationships.
He's had them before, don't get him wrong. He's had numerous in the past, but they all either broke apart because he would hold that particular desire back, making him antsy and moody, or he would welcome his partners into his world, and become uncomfortable with the way things would progress.
No, he doesn't want to experiment. He knows exactly what he wants, and if that means he's 'close-minded' and a bad person, then so be it for him.
He never liked the constant company in his apartment anyways.
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"Ah, I've seen her before. She's usually a regular for Yoongi though." Taehyung says, checking a name for Jungkook, who's doodling on a napkin while he waits for his new appointment to show up. "I see. I forgot that Yoongi took some days off recently- that's probably why she's now under your hand." He explains, and Jungkook huffs, his blonde hair tickling his cheek.
"So I'll have to adjust? I mean, Yoongi's style is pretty different from mine." The young man says, not looking up. He simply continues his little sketch of braided hair, while the lanky guy behind the counter clicks away on his laptop.
"Probably? I can't check the logs since they're private, but from what I know Yoongi only did the usual with her." he explains, shrugging as he looks at his friend and colleague. "I can re-schedule her to Hoseok if you want?" He asks, and Jungkook, after finishing his drawing, lets the pen fall and stretches.
"Yeah, that would probably be best. Wouldn't know what to do if she drops- rather not have him rip my head off, thanks." He says, before he gets up.
"Ah- you're still coming over tonight right? Y/N said she's gonna cook for us." He says, and Jungkooks body shivers a little.
Your name is nothing new to him, but the reaction to it most certainly was. You're a friend of Yoongi and Hoseok, having joined in on their gaming nights a few months ago after Yoongi had insisted you couldn't stay alone on a christmas day. Jungkook had never really asked why you were alone in the first place, but he had never really cared much for it either. Sure, you were an absolute gem to look at; technically absolutely his type, but he had early on decided not to pursue anything at all with you. He knew friendship wouldn't stay friendship with you, his own hunger way too large to simply be satiated by platonic gestures-
and he was also sure you wouldn't be able to handle him, truly. The conversation with Jimin, one of your best friends, had changed nothing about that. Because he didn't know you well enough to quite know if you were only bark and no bite- or if you were genuinely craving the same things he did.
But most recently, there had been a change in his opinion on you. Because he had seen you, come out of this place, out of Yoongis studio.
You knew about all of this- and you were still around.
Nothing had changed.
Now, of course he had instantly poked holes into the poor guy about if he had ever played with you before- and the answer he had gotten, had made him even more interested and antsy to get closer to you.
Because while you trusted Yoongi with everything you had, he had never done anything with you. You had simply been interested in watching a scene unfold- and had told him that you were definitely interested in participating. The reason Jungkook couldn't ask you directly was a clear one-
You were majorly intimidated by him, to the point of, he had never really had a proper conversation with you. Partially, he had to admit, because he himself didn't want to involve himself too much with you.
He’d always asked himself; wouldn’t you be even more distant and reserved with him if you knew this side of him? Sure, you always joked around that he probably tied his girls up and edged them until they cried- but did you know that he genuinely enjoyed these things?
Relationships for him were mere covers to call the arrangements he had with the girls that came and went in his life in a constant changing matter. Deep down, no one night stand could satisfy his most carnal desires, and he was very well aware of that. But he rather took what he could get and lived a fever dream for a few moments than stay on his own simply because his idea of pleasure and sex was not the norm.
No, he refused to deny himself that.
Maybe it was because he’d always lived a rather lavish life- with his parents well off and his own career skyrocketing he never really had any worries like you have had in the past. For some odd reason, while looking at the soft red rope in his hands, his thoughts suddenly went astray; he knew he could give you the stability you oh so craved, in every way shape and form. You were a diamond simply waiting to be perfected- you had so much potential, knowing that you were secretly wandering around the same paths as he did made him even more frustrated.
The hints were there, they were obvious; from the way you had sighed out in bliss when he’d teasingly pulled your hair just hours ago, to the sinful confessions he’d heard that night when he overheard you and jimin by accident. Of course he’d maybe wasted a thought or two of you underneath him to humor him once or twice- but now with the rope in his hands, his mind immediately began painting pictures of it against your skin. Would you enjoy it? And what if he took your sight, or only bound your hands? What if he denied you to cum, or if he took you from behind, grabbing your hair and pushing down your spine to make it arch so prettily- never with the intend to hurt, of course. He knew he’d have to tame you first, make you submit, but then again, he loved the challenge.
You made even the idea of touching fun.
He wouldn't even have to undress you to fully get himself worked up, he was sure of that. Only seeing you bow to his very command would be enough to satisfy him. Of course, over the course of time he would lead you deeper and deeper into his rabbit hole, but he would take it slow for you.
So, with a smile, and a wave of his hand, he walked past the girl he knew had been his appointment- grinning at Taehyung. "Of course I'll be there."
He wouldn't dare miss a night with you.
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You were stressing. A little.
Maybe.
Maybe a lot.
Everything would've been fine if they guys would've all come over. But due to the bad weather, and Taehyungs bad habit of never properly fixing his god-forsaken dumpster of a car, only one of them would be able to make it. And of course the one had to be Jeon Jungkook.
Just great.
Now, it wasn't like you didn't like the guy, no way. The problem was more, that he was on the exact opposite of that spectrum. You had a major crush on him, which felt like the plot to a really bad drama show you would watch drunk at night- and in a way, it really felt like one too. Because you were pretty sure, he didn't even know your name.
But oh well- apparently he knew more than that. More specifically, your phone number. And it had scared the shit out of you at first to receive a message from him because how the hell did he get your number, but then again you remembered that one of your connections was Kim Taehyung- and everyone knew what he knew.
It was the doorbell that ripped you out of your skin almost.
You didn't even change, deciding any effort would be too late anyways; and you were still heavily confused in the first place why the fuck he would come over alone, even though you two had never exchanged much more than a friendly hello and goodbye. But there he was, as you opened the door- soft, white hoodie and ripped jeans, a bit damp from the rain outside as you let him inside.
He didn't move.
"Uh-" You started, but he just looked at you, friendly as ever, although a teasing glint in his eye made you frown a bit.
He thought it was cute.
"You didn't tell me to come in." He said, and you blinked once, twice, before your brain had properly restarted.
"Oh uh- come in?" You said, again, moving a bit to the side so he could walk in- which he still didn't. "Jungkook come on now its fucking cold-!" You whined, and he laughed, finally stepping inside. Had he always been like that? Could very well be the case, after all, you had never truly paid much attention to his behavior before.
"Thanks for letting me come over." He said, and you watched him as he untied his boots. "I had nothing else to do- and also, I didn't want you to waste any food, considering Tae said you cooked for us." He explained, before he got up again from his half kneeling position, boots now standing next to your significantly smaller shoes.
"Ah, it would've been fine, you guys don't have to feel bad." You waved off, smiling. "I was about to stop cooking anyways when Jimin had texted me, but well, then you did and uhm.." You drifted off, noticing how you were suddenly waiting for him to lead the way.
In your own apartment.
What the hell?
If he noticed however, he didn't show it. He simply smiled, and moved his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie. "Ah, thanks. I appreciate it, really." He said, and you smiled at him as well, walking towards the main area of your apartment. It was small, very small compared to his own, but he enjoyed the feeling of it. Everything around him reminded him of you, in a way; from the pictures taped to the walls, to the stickers on your fridge. It all held a piece of you in it. "Your apartment is really nice, by the way." He commented, and you turned around, before getting plates and cutlery to bring inside the living room.
"Ah, right, it's your first time here." You said. "Thanks- the living room is right around the corner there, you can just sit down and I'll bring everything there." You explained, and he smiled, nodding without arguing.
You liked that.
Typically, there would've been this awkward 'oh no let me help you', but Jungkook didn't seem to dwell on it much, letting you do your thing instead of butting in and making things weird. He simply walked where you had directed him, sitting down on the couch as he went to place a blanket to the side. His fingers moved over the fabric for a moment, noticing how everything on the couch, including the pillows, were made of that same, soft material.
Interesting.
"Oh- you can just put that to the side, sorry I forgot to clean that up." You said, putting the food onto the table as he just smiles again. He waits for you to sit down as well before you turn up the TV volume a little, nerves finally setting in as you notice there's almost nothing you can talk to him about. "This is awkward." You comment, and he chuckles at that swallowing his bite as he looks at you.
"Doesn't have to be." He states, before he turns his body a bit more into your direction; a visible sign that he wants a conversation. "Tae has never mentioned what you do for a living." He states, an unasked question of his. He lets you decide if you want to take it as one or leave it as a statement- it makes you feel nice, in a way.
"Ah uh.. it's really boring, so I guess I never really talk about it either.." You say, and he tilts his head a little, a silent urging for you to continue. You feel insignificant next o him and his job however. He's superior to you in any way, and you don't want him to feel pity or laugh at you for your job. "I uh.. I'm a programmer for a.. pretty unknown game studio." You say, body almost shrinking in on itself as you wait for his reaction. Much to your surprise however, he makes a sound that's purely surprise, as he swallows his bite with a bit of urgency.
"Fuck really?! That's so cool though!" He argues, brows furrowed a bit as he playfully accuses you with his next words. "Indie or not, a programmer is the main force of any game. Did you work on any games I might know of?" He asks, eyes sparkling as he realizes he had finally found something to bond with you over.
"Uh.. 'Rabbit Boy' was our best hit until now.." You say, still a bit shy, but you're also a tad more confident now. His reaction is either well-staged, or he's genuinely interested in what you do.
"I played it I think. It was a bit short, but I loved the mechanics." He says, and before he can quite stop himself, his hand has already reached out to you, running over your hair as he praises you like second nature. "Wuah, so smart!" He says, before he gets a reaction he wouldn't have thought he'd get from shy-you.
Because you playfully shove him, your socked feet pushed against the side of his thigh as you giggle at him.
Interesting, again.
Now, Jimin has actually told him about this before. How you were anything but the shy girl when you were around people you knew and trusted. He had believed it- to an extend- because he had also thought that maybe you were like that to prove your spot between those guys. As the only girl, you easily got thrown under the bus, so you had to somehow own your spot in the midst of your circle of friends.
However, it seemed like you were truly just a brat, hiding behind that innocent facade of yours. A barking dog, with every intent to bite if needed.
And Jungkook knew, he'd love to tame you, show you your spot, and make you his prey.
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The trashy movie your watching bores you, in a way. Jungkook has noticed this already, having taken note of your feet wiggling around, your teeth nibbling on the inside of your cheek, as you rest your cheek on your hand, elbow resting on the side of the couch.
“I don’t know why she’s so hesitant.” You mutter, pouting as you slump into the couch- uncaring that the side of your body now leans against his own. He feels your warmth- and for some reason it brings him comfort to notice that you’re seemingly growing more at ease. “I mean, it’s what she’s into, right?” You say, brows furrowed as you watch the screen.
“It’s not that simple.” Jungkook explains, trying to not make it obvious that he’s not necessarily talking about the movie. “Some men like to you know.. fight for a partner. Impress them. Win them over.” He explains, and he can feel you shift a little- until your head raises a bit, watching him as he watches you; gazes locked, and you can’t look away. You’re shy, you’re growing restless, but his eyes are like magnets; there’s no way you can avert your gaze.
“And.. you?” You ask, voice not loud at all, as if you don’t even notice you’re saying it. He loves that- loves the fact that you’re slowly letting him closer- not only physically.
“I like to earn my spot in their lives.” He states, and your mind suddenly begins to spin. You’ve always seen him as someone who doesn’t care much about emotions or feelings, or relationships for that matter. And maybe he doesn’t- maybe he just says this because he knows your weak spots. But the way his words fall into your ears makes you believe him. “I like to see my partner thrive; I love to see them grow. And..” he says, boldly deciding to slowly reach out his hand that was placed on the back of the couch- his fingers running through your hair, only brushing through, never pulling (no matter how much you’re craving it secretly). “I love to see them let go.” He humms out, and there’s a sudden shiver down your back, one that he definitely notices.
This is it. This is where you’ll let him touch you, let him wreck you, let him ruin you. You lean in closer, and so does he, but just when your lips are about to touch, he smiles gently- a warm affectionate gesture that you’ve never seen from him. And with it being directed at you, it’s even more meaningful- but it’s all about his next move, the way his inked fingers trace your cheek, before he speaks.
“You’re not ready yet.”
And with that, he turns back to the TV.
You huff, and it's the first time you know exactly what you're doing. You knew from Yoongi what Jungkook did in his freetime- you knew that this stuff was his expertise. Defeated, you looked down towards your knees, as your thoughts start to grow more and more frustrated. He probably didn't even see you like that, having only visited you out of pity, and not because he wanted to see you.
You were probably already friendzoned, and he was too nice to outright say it into your face. It made your emotions turn sour as the situation grew more and more awkward for you.
"What're you thinking about?" He asks, and you don't answer. What was there to say anyways? You really didn't want to have this weird conversation where he would tell you that oh yeah you're a nice girl, but he's not the right guy, the usual stuff you've already heard time and time again. "Y/N." He says, his voice dropping a little, but you only chew on the inside of your cheek again, eyes moving towards the TV screen. You didn't want to talk- you just hoped he would now sigh and get up, leaving so you could forget about all of this. You could maybe fake being sick for the next week or so to avoid him, yeah, that would be enough time to gloss over this entire situation. But he only clicks his tongue, hands suddenly moving your legs as he moves your body to face him.
Looking at his face is your first mistake.
His eyes are dark and almost angry, irritated as he looks as you. His jaw is clenched, and his hands stay on your knees for a moment, before he's sure enough that he has your attention. Only then does he speak, his voice nowhere near as soft and light as it had been before. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't like it." He says, and that's when you make your second mistake.
"Can we not right now? You don't know shit." You say, and he stares you down for a moment, until his head tilts a slight bit, eyes growing predatory as the corners of his lips tilt upwards. It resembles a small smile, yes, but it's not meant to be one. No, the first thing you have to think about is a wolf snarling at you, ready to put his packmate into their place for acting out.
It makes your spine tingle.
"Hm, maybe, but we can be classy about it, no?" He asks, and you scoff, trying to move your legs away from him, as he scans you.
At this point, he can see clearly that you're testing him.
So he gets up promptly, moving you around so you're standing in front of him. His inked hand finds your hair, gripping without mercy as he pulls your head back, your gaze now forced to stay on his as he calmly speaks. "You think I'm not into you like that- and you're as wrong as you could ever get." He says, biting his tongue as to not let a petname slip. He'd love to use them, but he knows that it's not yet time. That would be foul play, in a way; he doesn't want to seduce you.
He wants to make you understand.
"Trust me when I say I'd love to just throw you over my legs to spank that attitude out of you right now." He explains, and you whine- not in pain, but simply as a reaction to his confession. "But you don't know what you're getting yourself into." He continues, and pulls a bit to interrupt your next words. You know that you can get free any second you want to- but for some reason, there's no urge to do so. "You think of this as some game to play, you think of yourself as someone who can take all of it at once, but you don't even get the simplest and most important things about this entire thing." You swallow, as you stay still, finally giving up your fight as he relaxes the grip he still has on you. "Even now, it's not me controlling this situation. Its you." He says, letting go of you as his hands rest on your cheeks, eyes searching for any clues of discomfort. Only when he finds none, does he continue. "I will only ever have as much control over you as you're willing to give to me." He smiles again, this time, warm and comforting. "If you're really willing to do this, we will do this right. You'll have to trust me first, and I'll have to get to know you fully first, before anything else happens. Understood?" He asks.
And you nod.
"Do you know what you just agreed to?" He chuckles, and, shyly, you shake your head.
"See?" He grins, breaking skincontact with you. "You're not ready yet."
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His brows furrow when he sees you sitting on the counter, Taehyung talking to you. "What're you doing here?" He asks, and you pout, as Taehyung moves away, not wanting to get involved into anything this time. "Stop that face. We talked about this last week, why're you here now?" He asks, and you tilt your head innocently.
"Maybe I'm here for Yoongi?" You say, and his eyes grow darker for a second, before he composes himself.
"Good try, but he's still off work." He states, and you deflate a bit.
"I just.. wanted to see, I guess." You say, and he smiles a bit impishly.
"Oh? I mean, I have a scene in twenty minutes.." He asks, and internally, you cringe. No, you don't want to see him screw or even touch another woman in the ways you secretly want him to touch you instead. No, you're technically here to maybe talk him into show you at least a little bit. But it doesn't seem like he'll cave in anytime soon, so you sigh out.
"Okay, okay, I'll see you around, I guess." You say, hopping down from the counter before you take a step towards the exit.
"Ah well, I'll drive you home then." He states, and you grow confused as he leans against the counter. "Seeing as my scheduled appointment wants to leave, I have time off." He states, and you skin tingles. "Come on now, before I change my mind." He states, as he walks you outside again, leading you towards his car.
"I didn't mean to turn up so.. I don't know. Sorry." You said, and he gets into the drivers seat, shaking his head.
"I can understand you, trust me." He says, as he starts the engine and drives off. "If you're okay with it, I'd like to get something from my apartment, and then drive to yours." He says, and you tilt your head.
"Why not to the studio, or your place?" You ask, and he nods.
"While those are places I feel comfortable, they're unfamiliar to you. It's best if we start in a place that's comforting and gives you a sense of security." He states, and you nod.
Jungkook, in your eyes, never really seemed as mature as he's acting in those moments. It's as if he switches every time you two change topics; any time this particular one comes up, his mood changing into a serious one. Now, you're not stupid, you know the risks- and of course you had somewhat done your research online about the damages that could occur during all of this. And there's also the not too little chance it really isn't something for you after all- and in a way, that scares you. Because you want jungkook, but what if you don't want.. this?
Instead of voicing that out, you simply keep quiet as he gets out the car, and inside again after fetching what looks like an overnight bag. "You're staying over?" You ask, and he simply throws it on to the backseat.
"Maybe. We'll see." He says, and you don't question him as he drives. "Let's get something to eat. What're you craving?" He asks, as he keeps his attention on the road. He notices how you seem to think, already able to practically see the gears turning inside your head. "Don't think about what I could want. I asked what you want." He says, calmly, and so soft, that you simply let your words out.
"Tae usually get's me food.." You start, and Jungkook nods, as if understanding. You watch him smile a little.
"Let's get some junk food and eat it in the car." He simply states, and you nod, happy that he seemingly really did get what you were trying to say. For you, things like these were almost like rituals- like you and tae getting random icecream just to hurry home every time to not have it melt.
Maybe this would become a memory only for you and Jungkook.
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"You're nervous." Jungkook says, speaking out what's obvious. You don't know what he'll do, you're confused whats in his bag- you're nervous, just like he said. "Why is that?" He asks, casually sitting on your bed with you. He had earlier told you not to panic-clean it; he was not there to be impressed. He was simply a visitor for now, nothing more, nothing less. You shrugged. There were a lot of reasons you were nervous. "If you want this to work, I need to have proper communication with you. Guessing will get me nowhere." He says, but his voice is not upset. He's simply informing you.
"I.. don't know what you'll do?" You say, and He smiles, sitting more comfortably, as he shows you his open hands.
"I'm not gonna do anything for the moment." He tells you, and you shrug.
"But wasn't that the plan?" You ask him.
"What would you want me to do then?" He asks instead, not answering your question. He's testing you, he want's to know if you really are aware of everything. He's also not only asking you about what you want him to do to you- but with you, as well. He was unsure if you wanted to romantically involve yourself with him, or simply explore something new at his side.
He's afraid he'd be okay with either, just because its you.
"Are you going to tie me up?" You ask, and Jungkook grins, before he laughs. You're growing shy, unsure, and he instantly makes sure you know he's simply laughing about what you said, not about you. His hand holds yours- and it's weirdly reassuring.
"No, although I can imagine you looking very pretty in that position." He says. "No, come here." He says, lays down on the bed, and you stay where you are, with reasonable distance between you two. "I want you to come as close to me as you feel comfortable. Don't force it- take your time. I'm not expecting anything, please remember that." He tells you calmly, not looking at you to give you mental distance from him as well. His eyes are actually closed, his body relaxed.
You don't move for a moment. You want to test how long he can really play this patient role- but after around five or ten minutes, he's still not moving. He's not even saying anything, and you're unsure if he's asleep or not.
There's only one way to find out.
You carefully lay down a little away from him, on your side, simply looking at him. It's weird to see him like that; you've always imagined him to be a very dominant and demanding person, from what you've heard and seen of him. But Jungkook doesn't feel like any of the guys you've been with; he also doesn't feel like Taehyung, or Yoongi, or Hoseok.. Jungkook, weirdly enough, feels comfortable. He's relaxed, and laid back, and still has that slight glint of power over you.
You move closer, your curiosity getting the best of you as scenes and pictures of him holding you fill your head. Is he even a cuddler? You can't imagine him being all soft and sweet for gestures like that, but then again, you didn't really think you'd ever be in a situation like this either. Maybe you were judging a book by its cover.
He smells nice- that's one of the first things you notice once you get closer. One of his arms is stretched out to the side- his tattooes visible, but partially hidden by his sweater sleeve. You want to look at them, so you test the waters- by touching his arm, just a small poke with your finger. You can see the corners of his lips twitch; he's definitely awake. You move his arm a little, inside facing you as you get a detailed look at his artworks. They're detailed, they fit him, the dark Ink a stark contrast to his skin.
His sweater seems soft.
You slowly lay down again, your head resting on his biceps as you simply lay for a moment.
This is nice.
You feel more and more bold with every minute that passes, not even minding the way he sometimes moves around. You're growing at ease, so much so, that you simply throw all hesitation out of the window, and cuddle up to him. one of your hands is on his chest, while your head rests ontop of the inside of his shoulder.
This is really nice.
"Are you falling asleep?" He asks, voice not loud at all, as his arm moves, palm resting on your forearm as he holds you. You don't mind it- you feel relaxed enough to really actually do fall asleep- so you nod. "That's good." He tells you.
"But didn't you bring stuff to try?" you ask, and Jungkook nods.
"We got time. A small nap is always a good idea." He tells you, and you simply nod- making him smile.
He's glad.
Because by falling asleep on him like that, you don't even know how much you've complimented him at all. You're relaxed enough around him, comfortable enough to let him close to you in a vulnerable state such as sleep. It makes him wonder how far you'd let him go- would you let anyone get so close so quickly? A sudden rush of protectiveness curses through his body, fills him up, as he swears he can't let you go now. No, what if someone else gets you like this? What if someone takes advantage of your open mind like that? He doesn't even want to imagine.
Jungkook really has it bad.
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You slowly wake up to a bit of weight on your face. "jungkook what're you doing?" you giggle, and he chuckles as well as he takes the hand away from over your eyes. He looks well rested, with his eyes still not fully open.
"Nothing." He says. "Just teasing." He says, but of course, nothing he does is just random teasing. Everything he does is calculated- it's to test you, to study you, to make sure he gets to know you. "Are you hungry?" He asks instead.
"Not for food."
He has to let that process for a moment, until he laughs. He's really got it with you, he thinks, as he suddenly moves, eyes dark, while he's now ontop of you, his hands holding your wrists. Expecting you to look surprised, he finds none of that however. It intrigues him, the way you don't seem to be nervous or fearful at all. It makes him wonder what you'd really do to him if he was to advance in ways he wanted to. "Careful, sweetheart." He says, and your eyes sparkle with a silent challenge.
"Or what?"
His grip gets a bit tighter at that, eyes a bit darker. "Someone's eager." He says lowly. "Don't you think you're biting off more than you can chew right now?" He asks, before he clicks his tongue, slowly falling into his own headspace. He knows however not to let himself slip. "Give me a random word." He asks, demands, and you say whatever finds your mind in that moment.
"Bunny." You say.
He raises his eyebrow for a second, but doesn't question it. "I want you to say that, loud and clear, as soon as you feel uncomfortable." He lectures you seriously. "It doesn't matter what it is. Physically, or mentally, or if you simply don't want me to continue because. I need you to tell me that you will say it." His gaze is intense, and you nod. "I promise you; I'll never get mad, or upset, or angry, or disappointed with you. My ego isn't worth your safety." He humms out at the end, and your eyes soften.
He notices it instantly, and it affects him more than he'd like to admit.
"I promise I'll say it if I need to." You tell him, and he grows comfortable again.
"Can I touch you?" He asks, softly, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a yes. "Remember; I'll only ever have as much power and control over you as you will give me." He mumbles, head now dipped down to ghost his lips over the skin of your neck. "But once you give it to me-" He says, his knee situating itself in between your legs to spread them in a silent command. "-I won't give it back." He growls, before he bites down, releasing the skin after hearing your delicate mewl, kissing the spot as if to apologize.
He's not sorry.
"Let me ask you.." He says, feeling you rut against his leg that's pressed against your center. "what do you really want from me?" He asks, and you open your eyes, movements slowly coming to a halt as you notice the way he looks at you.
He almost looks uncertain.
"I.." You want him. You know that- you want all of his bad habits and weird quirks. You want to get to know him and everything that comes with it. Hell, he was the main reason you even got into the entire scene in the first place. "You." You say, deciding its best to practice honesty.
"Me?" He asks, genuinely a little confused.
You nod. "Yeah. You." You say. It's a little weird, the whole situation, but you don't mind it. Your hands slowly slip out of his grasp, before they instead intertwine their fingers with his. He feels weirdly caught off guard by the gesture- his past encounters and relationships never having included things like these. So much so, that Jungkook genuinely believed those things to be simple movie-gestures. Overdone, and not realistic. "Like uhm.. if you want to. If you just want to, you know, I.. guess I'd be okay with that too-" You say, looking away, as Jungkook answers.
"I want you too." He answers, eyes searching yours for any glimmer of dishonesty. But he doesn't find it- there is none. There's just you. "I really want you too." He murmurs out, getting closer, before he lets himself loose, his lips finding yours.
He's never been a fan of kissing, but he can very much already imagine kissing you for hours.
Its not just you letting go in that moment, its him too.
Because unbeknownst to you, he's not just opening you a door to his world of unspoken fantasies-
He's also opening his heart as well.
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Your first time together is slow and comfortable.
It happens just a day after you had both decided to pursue an actual relationship with one another. He's gentle, careful, but not hesitant. He's exploring.
Inside of his head, he notes down every noise and every twitch of muscle. You sigh as he eats you out, the small ponytail of his unable to hold onto all of his hair as his eyes are partially hidden behind the blonde strands. He's watching you, his fingers having already stretched you out, but then he sits up. You whine, with him having stolen your release for a second time. "Let's play a little, yeah?" He says with an amused yet calm tone. You're already unable to do much about your position; your wrists bound to your bed over your head, carefully tied knots comfortable against your skin, as long as you don't pull. "Legs open." He calls out as you try and close them, and you whine again; testing his patience as you still go ahead and disobey his command. He watches, moves forward, before he pulls them apart again. "You want to cum, no?" He asks, and you nod, frustratedly so. "I wonder what made you think you've earned that reward from me." He tells you, eyes scanning your form as you pull on your restraints a little. He's not fully into his own headspace yet- he's still very much on high alert to notice any signs of discomfort coming from you.
He has to learn just as much as you do.
"You're lucky you're so sweet." He says, before he crawls closer again, his hand on your center, as he enters you with two fingers. Its not enough, but then his thumb draws circles on your clit- and you're approaching, quickly. "Hm? Won't you cum?" And then you say it.
"Can I?"
It's so desperate, so needy, so submissive, that it sends a chill down his spine. He moves closer, kisses your neck, as he can't help but let the rush of it get to him. He is, after all, just as desperate for release. No matter if its his, or yours.
"Such a good girl, of course you can." He tells you. "What a sweet one, such good manners.." He teases playfully, and you tug at your restraints as you come undone under his hands. He unties your wrists and you're holding onto him as soon as you're free, and he lets you hold onto him in your post orgasmic bliss.
Its after a moment that you realize it.
"Wait-" You say, sitting up to look at him. "You- I mean, you didn't get to-" You start, but Jungkook waves it off.
"Its fine, really." He tells you, and you know he's serious. "I'll just wait until it goes down, or take care of it in your bathroom if thats okay with you." He says, patting the side next to him to lay down on. "Come here." He asks, and you comply, before you speak again.
"You.." You start, not looking at him. "Could just take care of it here." You say. "Or I could.." you start, and he looks at you.
"Do you want that, or do you only feel like you have to?" He asks, and you shrug. You take some time, before you answer.
You've seen most of Jungkook until now. From his strong arms, his back, his inked skin, to his thighs and legs. You have seen all- but that. And you've never really considered giving anything back in that way to anyone because of one single embarrassing moment- but with Jungkook, for some reason, you wanted to try.
"I want to." You say, and he nods. "But I don't know how.." You say, and he smiles reassuringly.
"I'll guide you." He tells you, before he scans your face. He's never really felt that desired- at least not in the way he does in that moment with you. "You can take it out for starters." He says, and you nod, before you hesitate a little.
Jungkook is nice, when it comes to that. He's patient, always lets you do the pacing for now, until you trust him enough. This is only the start, after all. You stay cuddled up to his side, but your hand ventures towards his sweats, where you can see his prominent erection still waiting. Slowly, you push the fabric down, both his sweats and boxers underneath- his hips lifting a bit to make it easier for you, until he's freed from his clothes.
You've never really thought much about looks when it came to that department, but Jungkook was, in each and every way, highly attractive. Now you knew, that there was literally nothing about him you didn't desire.
Your first touches are a little hesitant, testing the waters, and Jungkook tries not to react too much to it to give you time. Its when you start to move your hand however, that he closes his eyes, head now completely resting on the pillows beneath as he just decides to enjoy what you might give him. His hips twitch upwards a little after you'd run your thumb over the head, precum glistening while your hand uses it as lubricant to move more smoothly.
He sighs out.
And you grow bold at that, moving to sit up and escape out of his embrace, before you dip down to feed your curiosity. As your tongue touches his skin, his muscles contract, the action not expected since he didn't look what you were doing. You've been told once before that you're not.. the best at this- but Jungkook made you want to try. If you would've looked, you would've spotted the intense stare that Jungkook had been sending your way; mesmerized by the way you tucked your hair behind your ear oh so sweetly, before you let a drop of saliva escape from between your lips, taking him in soon after it had dropped onto his awaiting length.
You really were something else.
He'd gotten head time and time before, and it was never something he didn't like- but he'd also rarely ever cared that much emotionally about the person giving it to him. It's weird, how an emotional connection can make you so much more sensitive to things- such as in that moment, as your tongue moved over his skin while inside your warm mouth, lips heavenly on his cock.
He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be inside you.
There's nothing he could teach you, nothing he could tell you to do, as you moved, sucked and licked. He was breathing heavily already, his hand finding yours as you hold onto it. He sits up, can't help it, has to somehow touch you while you're not letting go of your task. His palm escapes your hand, rests on your head instead, runs through your hair before it grips a little. You moan, vibrations making him throw his head back as he groans out, feeling his end coming closer. "If you don't want to swallow, let go." He grits out, but you suck harder instead, and its when your hand finds his balls that he lets himself fall back onto the mattress beneath, shooting his load into your mouth as you swallow it down.
He's on cloud nine.
You're thoughtful enough to pull his underwear and pants back up, laying on your stomach next to him, waiting, watching, with impish eyes. He looks so radiant, so relaxed, so at ease. It fills you with a weird sense of pride; since in a way, its your doing. "Why did you tell me you don't know how to do that." He comments, rather than asks, slowly calming his breathing back down. His eyes open, hand pushing some hair out of your face. "Thank you. That was amazing." He says, and you shrug.
"Thanks for the compliment." You say, looking at him.
"I have a request." He says, and you nod. "Not like that." He teases, making you blush. "No, but seriously." Jungkook knows that you've been with other people before. It scares him to know that some of your experiences might not have been good- he knows some absolute horror stories Taehyung had told him. "I want you to take all that you've experienced with your former partners.. all those moments, emotions, bad memories, all of it." He tells you, hand now resting on your cheek- a gesture in which you lean into. "And throw them away. Forget them." He tells you.
"This is a new start, for both of us."
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"How many clients have you been with?" You ask, casually sitting on the kitchen counter as Jungkook washes the dishes. Its your first night in his apartment, and you're more comfortable than you thought you'd be.
"None." He tells you, and you're ready to snort out a laugh, but he doesn't look at all like he's joking. Seeing your confusion, he continues while scrubbing a plate. "None of us actually have sex with our clients. Some only come to talk, really- others come to let go." He explains, and you nod. "I've never touched, nor been with someone intimately during a scene." He tells you.
"So you had scenes with your partners then?" You ask, and he shrugs.
"In the beginning, yeah." He admits, shrugging. "But I eventually gave up on it. It's not something a lot of people find very appealing. It all looks great in theory, but when practiced, most find its not for them." Draining the sink, he dries his hands on the dish towel, before putting it in its proper place.
"Could you.. imagine a relationship without it?" You ask, and he sighs, shaking his head.
"Not really." He looks at you after a moment. "Its who I am, and its how I love. I can't change that." He tells you, and you nod. Its understandable really, and you like that he has clear lines he likes to follow. It's weirdly comforting to know that he has his life so under control- its all you've ever wanted really.
It's something Jungkook might be able to give you.
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It was weird, the feeling of the rope against your skin. He’d been right about it earlier; it wasn’t rough or itchy at all. But maybe that was just because it was him doing it. Maybe he was simply fogging up your senses.
It would make sense.
“Okay?” He humms out, voice gentle and calm while he stops his hands for a moment, palm on your shoulder where it warms up your skin. You’re unsure what okay really means- okay like, he’s finished? Or is he asking if you’re okay? Or is he asking for permission? “Speak to me- don’t just think.” He says, eyes watching you in such a manner that made your slightly trembling body calm down.
“I’m not sure what- what you mean by, okay.” You say, and he smiles, eyes roaming over your body for a moment, but surprisingly not in a way that would make you feel exposed. You’re almost naked, after all- only your most private parts hidden from his sight. You can see the very evident tent in his pants; but he doesn’t seem like he’s frustrated or fazed about it.
“Good Job telling me.” He says first and foremost, and you start to feel warm inside. “I was asking if you were okay. Do you remember your colors?” He asks, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a ‘yes’. He nods again, a hand running over your head, fingers running through your hair affectionately. “Good. I’ll finish the last knots now- remember you can stop at any time. Don’t hesitate.” He says, and you nod.
He grabs the rope again; the tiny fact that he’d chosen one in your favorite color making you feel.. well, you didn’t know. You could feel your nose sting, before it shot into your eyes, making them water; something that Jungkook immediately noticed. “Color?” He asks, and you shake your head.
“Green, Green, I’m okay-“ you say, but you can’t stop the tears. He’s quick to sit down in front of you after tying the last knot- and it’s the first time you quietly look at them. They’re so delicate, so well done, but there’s no time to dwell on it as he lifts you chin gently.
“Talk to me.” He says, hands on your shoulders to give you some sense of stability. You’re safe, you don’t feel bad, but just..
“I don’t know. There’s so much-“ you begin, and he softly smiles, as if you’re not currently completely bound with no chance of proper movement. You take a deep breath, holding it before you release again, silently following the advices he’d given you prior. “Why do I feel so.. comfortable? I feel safe even though I’m in such a dangerous situation- I’m.. this is weird isn’t it, I should be.. I don’t know. Why’re you not doing anything? Wasn’t this supposed to be like, a sex session or something I don’t get it-“ you babble, and he lets you, before he speaks.
“You still don’t quite get it, do you?” He asks, and your glistening eyes stare up at him. “I don’t need something as simple as sex to feel satisfied.” He explains, and you nod, even though you don't quite understand. "I feel euphoric right now, even though you probably won't quite believe me." He says, his smile evident as his fingers trace the knots on your skin. It's there that you see it; the glimmer in his eyes, something you've never seen before with someone else. "The fact that you let me do this, it's all I need." He humms out. He looks at you, a silent question, and you take a deep breath.
You don't quite know what you're doing. Its weird- but seeing him like that makes you feel weightless. It happens slowly, you don't quite grasp what it is, but the feeling is nice. It's like letting go- like standing on the highest platform of the universe and just jumping down. And when you open your eyes, all you see is him.
He can't take his eyes off of you.
He's seen it often enough to spot it, knows what it looks like, but it still holds such a deep meaning to him to see you fall into your subspace for the very first time. You're so beautiful like that, so ethereal and enchanting as you lean forward to get closer to him. He's careful you dont accidentally hurt yourself with the big scissors on the bed close by- emergency equipment to release you asap if needed.
He knows escape is the furthest thing on your mind right now.
Able to do anything he'd want with you, he's not like that however. He's responsible enough to let you float for a moment, before he speaks to you again. "Baby?" He asks, and you nod, nuzzling his shoulder as he holds you close. "You're doing so good. Can you do something for me baby?" He questions again, and you nod, not parting from him however before he talks again. "Can you sit straight for a moment? Just like that, good girl." He praises as you instantly follow his command. "I got you, okay? I got you, you're safe." He repeats, as he slowly unties your body. It's careful reassuring and slow movements that make it possible to untie you- too quickly could make you drop; a state of sudden shift in mental state, that could send you straight into distress. Jungkook doesn't ever want to be the cause of that for you.
You're underneath him, and he's careful, as he undresses after placing the scissors onto the bedside table where it cant lead to any accidents. He also reaches inside the table, pulling out a condom from a box safely stored, before he gets himself ready.
Not even for a second is his attention not on you however.
"Hands up baby." He commands, and you do as he wants, already squirming as he advances towards you, fingers stretching you out as you grow huffy at the prospect of being edged again. He's quick to catch on though. "Hm, I'm not gonna be mean baby." He tells your fuzzy mind. "But I gotta get you ready, no?" Fingers steadily helping you relax, he waits until he deems you ready.
You struggle to keep your hands up as he enters you, but your mind is adamant on keeping his command. He groans out, kisses your neck, as he slowly begins to move lazily. It's enough for pleasure- but not enough to make you cum. "Good fucking girl. Look at you. My baby." He chants, and something inside you stirs at the last words.
His Baby.
You're his.
He wants you.
It makes you whine as he chuckles, nipping at your skin. "You can touch me baby, good job." He says, and your hands are instantly around his neck. You're mumbling something, but its not words. It's not coming out the way you think it does, and Jungkook doesn't mind, doesn't care. Its another one of those things fueling him up, urging him on.
You're his perfect puzzle piece.
He lets go.
"Turn around princess." He says breathless, and you follow his instructions eagerly. His hand rests on the back of your neck for a moment, leaves its place for a second to move your hair away from your face, before he gently pushes down. He's inside in a heartbeat, this time thrusting with more strength.
Something overcomes him that hasn't happened before.
Usually, this position is what he loves most- and yet, it's not what he wants. He wants you, he wants you close, he cant touch you enough. His arms snake around your torso, just underneath the bottom of your breasts, as he pulls you towards him. Your back arches so prettily, and he gasps out, breathing heavy as he continues his attack on your neck. "You're mine." He growls out, can't keep it inside anymore, his grip on you tightening. "Mine." His thrusts stutter, his hand reaches for your center, desperate fingers helping you find your release. It coats your thighs, stains the bed, and he pushes himself as deep as he can once he finishes himself.
He's breathing heavily, he's out of his mind, running on autopilot as his hands still hold you. He pulls out after a moment, a whine from you getting reassured by his own voice, before he leaves the bed, getting a warm damp washcloth ready for you. He's careful, gentle, seems to caress your skin more than clean it, places kisses every now and then and sends praises your way.
"How do you feel?" He asks, voice low and caring as he continues his aftercare.
"Like you love me a lot." You sleepily say, eyes still foggy, and he smiles.
"Good." He tells you, reaching out to kiss your lips, still high on his own afterglow. "That's how you're always supposed to feel like."
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"I've quit." He tells you one night on the couch, as you sit close to him. You'd asked him about his sidejob at Yoongi's- and this was his answer. Instantly, you sit up straight, fearing that he might've felt obligated because of you. "Before you start, yes, it was because of you." He says, and you already have the whine in your throat- but it doesn't make it out, as his fingers lazily trace your collarbone peaking out from his shirt you're wearing. "But it was also my decision. I just didn't enjoy it anymore- and you're more I could ever want really." He says, shrugging as you stare at him.
It was still new to you.
Although you knew that he was probably more than just a wild loverboy collecting partners and gaming all day, you never would've thought of him like this. He's a kid at heart still, teasing and playfighting every now and then- but he's mostly a strong shoulder to lean on for you. He really is the security and safety you'd always searched for. "What're you thinking about?" He asks, pulling you closer as he continues watching the TV show.
"You." You say, and he chuckles.
"Cute." He answers. He looks at you for a moment, TV long forgotten, before you crawl over his lap, shirt rising enough to give him free view of your thighs and panties. You've skipped the pants tonight- a habit of yours he enjoys a lot. His palms instantly find the soft skin, running along the outside of your thighs before they find your behind, squeezing, before he slaps it playfully. He grins as you squeal, admiring the way the very tips of your ears turn red. "You're really precious, you know that?" He tells you, and you shrug. "You are." He confirms, and you smile shyly.
"May I kiss you?" You ask, and he smiles warmly.
"We're not in a scene baby, do as you wish." He tells you, and you nod, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. Its a feeling you can't quite get enough of, and it seems like he enjoys it equally as much. His inked hands find their way underneath your shirt, running over your back and spine as you shudder. He doesn't find what he seeks, your underwear long gone and left in the bedroom, and he loves it, instantly moves to your chest where he finds the soft flesh, his thumb running over one of your nipples teasingly. You're arching your back already, moving around as if you can't sit still. "My baby." He mumbles out, "If you can be so kind and get me a condom, you can ride me if you want to." He tells you, and you nod.
By now you easily know your way around his apartment.
So its no wonder you quickly return from your now shared bedroom, condom in hand as you approach him again, settling onto his lap. You're not shy with him nor his body anymore, eagerly taking the condom out of the package for him to roll it down onto his length. "You good?" He asks, and you nod, pulling your panties aside as you slowly sink down on him.
He lets his head rest back on the couch, and you lean into him, for a change returning the favor of kissing his neck. He's grinning, throughoutly enjoying things, and you love watching him. It's a visual reminder to yourself that this is your doing. You're making him feel that way, and no one else. It makes you confident, and it makes you feel cherished in ways you haven't felt before.
Once you start to move, Jungkooks hands help you along. Its slow and lazy, not at all hurried. There's no real goal; you probably wouldn't even mind not cumming at all. This was just being close- a way of feeling connected in the most intimate of ways. Connected like only lovers could be.
You love him.
And it slips out as a tiny 'I love you' in between your sighs and gasps, and he hears it so clearly, he can't help himself but speed up the pace.
"I love you too." He chants out, kissing the side of your head as you rest against his chest, head on his shoulder. "I love you so much." He says, almost inaudible, his arms holding you as close as he can.
Jeon Jungkook doesn't need sex to feel satisfied.
But he will most certainly need you for now and forever.
And he's totally fine with that.
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(c)Bonny-Kookoo. You know the drill. I know where you live. I don't. But still. Be scared. Boo.
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suhppy · a month ago
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Descending down the grand stair case, a tidied up Celestia made her appearance for the Yule Ball. Her floor length ball gown swayed in reaction to her soft steps down, Celestair walking down besides her, as he offered his arm for support. It was no surprise that Celestia’s dress was a black corseted gown with intricate sleeves, with a galactic scene hidden within the fabric. The eldest Aphelion was seen wearing an all black pieced suit, his hair neatly tucked back. “You look beautiful, Lest. You really remind me of mum right now.” The male would compliment, offering a warm smile. As of late, tensions were rising rapidly. Offering a distraction, the celebration was everyone’s chance to let loose. Standing at the base of the stairs were Draco and Cho, the sibling’s respective dates. Celestair wasted no time in approaching Cho, greeting her with a soft kiss, before complimenting her upon her appearance. ”Look at you.” Draco cooed as he took a moment to appreciate the female’s appearance. Nearly taken back, he was certain there were not enough words invented to describe how ethereal Celestia looked. “You look…wow.” Draco was adorned with an all black suit, with green accents. The duo obliviously picked their outfits together, as the matched perfectly. ”Look at you!” Celestia emphasized, turning the attention onto the blonde. Her hand would gently stroke against his cheek. “Drac, you clean up nicely, huh?” Grinning, her attention was quickly pulled by the appearance of Cedric. Within a matter of seconds, her smile quickly faded, especially after seeing who he chose to attend with. Pansy Parkinson, a fellow Slytherin who she once called a close friend. Unbeknownst to Celestia, Pansy had always had an admiration for Draco. Despite their friendship, Pansy found joy in the subtle snub of choosing Cedric. Lately she had noticed Celestia’s odd behavior while around the Hufflepuff. Normally one to display coldness to other classmates, Celestia exhibited an uncanny fondness towards Cedric. Witnessing Celestia’s sour expression, Pansy’s suspicion was confirmed, something was happening that Draco was unaware of. Subtly shaking her head, the brunette fell into a fit of disgust, as it was apparent what Cedric was doing. Having originally asking Celestia, she declined, and chose someone he knew would get under her skin. “Can you believe he’s going with Pansy? Pansy out of all people!” She scoffed. Her reaction grabbed Draco’s attention, bringing an eyebrow to raise, he grew curious on her fascination with who attended with Diggory. “Hm, can you blame him? You must have crushed his poor heart after declining him.” Taking the opportunity to send a jab towards Cedric, Draco scoffed. The male cleared his throat before extending an arm out, as he guided Celestia into the Grand Hall. On their way in, the Slytherin duo passed by Cedric and Pansy, both holding their heads high. Due to traditions, the Triwizard champions were the first to dance. The pair stepped off towards the side, as the loud roar of trumpets inclined the champions to carry out their grand entrance. Applause erupted as the couples sauntered in between the crowd, destined for the dance floor. ”I’m so happy for Celestair.” She muttered, Celestia’s view following as her brother strolled passed. He had been through a lot through his years. This was the first time he genuinely appeared happy, bringing warmth to her heart, as that was all she could ever want for brother. As he passed, the two siblings playfully waved at one another. Celestia’s dark colored orbs followed after her sibling, purposely avoiding any eye contact with Cedric. Their friendship was reaching rocky terrain, constantly getting into spats over whom she was currently dating. The wizarding band began to play a classical tune that inspired just about anyone in the room. Slowly, more couples would join the champions upon the dance floor as it quickly filled up. ”Shall we?” Draco asked, raising a hand to lead them onto the dance floor. Responding with a nod of her head, Celestia set her hand into Draco’s, her feet following after his lead. The delicate, slow paced music filled the hall as Draco’s body held Celestia’s close to his while leading their motions in tandem with the tune. One hand was firmly curled against her small waist while the other held her hand in his own. The silence that fell between the two was brutal. But, to Draco and Celestia, they were used to keeping up appearances. Any outer speculation would bring one to assume they were perfect, when deep down, they struggled to find peace. Ever since the second task, it felt as it the two were struggling to keep their relationship together. The male extended his arm upwards, guiding his date into a natural turn, before pulling her back in. Whilst spinning, Celestia’s gown magically followed in a delayed wave. ”Are we ever going to discuss the conundrum? ” Draco abruptly broke the silence, his voice conveying the uncomfortable mood, as his eyes glanced around the dance floor. Clearing his throat, the male finally met his gaze with Celestia’s. “Why were you Cedric’s person to save?” He questioned, referring to the most recent task in the TriWizard Tournament. A sensitive topic for the couple, he sought to discover the truth. ”I don’t know how many times I have to answer this, nothing will ever be a good enough answer for you. I don’t know why. Do you think I would desire to sit at the bottom of the lake for so long?” Performing a roll of her eyes, Celestia scoffed at the audacity of Draco. She grew tiresome over the repetition over the subject. ”So, you mean to tell me that the mer-people closed their eyes, and choose at random?” Scorned Draco. ”Perhaps, but I don’t create the rules.” Celestia’s gaze shifted onto Celestair, whom danced nearby. “Do you ever stop to consider my feelings, Drac? I had to watch as my brother saved Cho, over me. I know he holds resentment towards me, but all I’ve done was cling to him in a desperate attempt to salvage our relationship.”
Frowning at the turn of the conversation, she allowed her mask to slip. Draco conducted another twirl, as Celestia’s gaze fell upon Professor Snape lurking in the corner. He returned her gaze with a scowl, arms crossed, obviously displeased with their display. A jolt shocked Celestia, reminded that she and Draco weren’t the only ones in the room. Quickly, a forced smile stretched from cheek to cheek. ”What are you smiling at?” Draco questioned, displeased at the female’s abrupt shift in emotions. ”Snape is watching us.” She warned, mocking a chuckle to escape passed her lips. Glancing over his shoulder, Draco caught a peek at the potion’s professor offering a look of disgust. Instantly, he kissed his lips in frustration. “I’m sure my father put him up to this.” Being a close confident to both the Malfoy and Aphelion families, Snape was given the task to keep a close eye upon the two. Little did they know, the plans for their future did not only rely on the binding of families. ”It’s disgusting, truly. Are we incapable of being an authentic couple without having our every moves being watched?” Celestia groaned. ”I think I need a drink.” Draco announced, awkwardly clearing his throat once his hands fell from off of Celestia. “Do you…need one?” He asked with hesitation. Shaking her head, Celestia’s hands smoothed out her dress. “I think I need a bit of fresh air. It might be best, for us to clear our heads, come back to this conversation later? I’d like to enjoy what’s left of the night.” Nodding their heads in agreement, the couple parted ways, as her body travelled passed the dense crowd of the hall. Thousands of voices filled the great hall, it was almost overwhelming. She managed to slip out onto the courtyard, the brisk winter air instantly bringing chills to graze upon her skin. Before she could settle upon the idea of being alone, a familiar voice spoke from behind her. ”You look like you’re enjoying your night.” Cedric teased. “Let me guess, this time you two are arguing over which over the top manor you get to spend the holidays?” Choosing not to reply, Celestia was aware of his specific choice of words. Even if it was meant to be a joke, the timing was unfortunate. Tears slowly accumulated, as her head cocked up to glimpse up at Diggory. “For being my friend, you truly do not know when to just drop it.” Taken back by her display of emotion, Cedric choked upon his words. He had no intent to make her cry, feeling instant remorse. “Celestia…It was just a stupid joke, okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. You know that right? You know how much I care about you.” ”Care?” She repeated, clearly offended. “All you do is rub any failures in my face, Ced. I have to constantly be reminded that me and Draco aren’t as perfect as everyone makes us seem.” ”When will the games end, Aphelion?” Cedric questioned as irritation lingered along his tone. His hands were pressed into his hips as his full attention was focused upon the female before him. “Your relationship is a silly little game to impress your parents.” ”Games?” Celestia repeated with a raised eyebrow. “Says the one who brought Pansy as his date! You did it on purpose to try and rile me up, it is oblivious.” Having been friends for a few years now, the two could easily read one another. She knew Cedric had a warm heart, but the moment Pansy was slung along his arm, his intentions were made very well known. ”Do not forget who I asked first. It was you who said no, now you grow jealous of seeing someone else on my arm? How is that any fair? I am constantly having to watch you and Draco. You don’t even look happy with him tonight. You should have came with me.” Kissing his teeth in disgust, the brunette haired male tossed his hands up in frustration. ”He’s my boyfriend, Ced. I can’t just not show up with him.” Her dark orbs followed the male’s motions, unsure of where all of the pent up frustration stemmed from. It felt like just a few short days ago their friendship was at its all time strongest. Now, it was crumbling before her. ”And you’re just going to settle with him for the rest of your days?” Stepping forward, Cedric closed up the gap between the two. He cleared his throat, preparing his words within his mind, as the wind rustled from above. “You know you’re settling, Celestia. He’s going down a path you don’t want to follow. I’ve seen it for myself in Divination class, whether you want to believe it or not. That’s your future with him.” Growing offended by his words, the Slytherin could only wish for this spat to be over. She never enjoyed disagreeing with Cedric. It felt as if that’s all they were doing as of late. “And who are you to tell me what is right and wrong for me? That’s all my life consists of, am I ever allowed to make decisions on my own?” She rhetorically pondered, her voice raising. A sigh emitted passed the male’s lips as he heard her reply. Cedric was familiar with the antics of her father, as it was the sole reason her brother lives with his family. Truth be told, he desired for her to just stay with them as well. He knew how much of a toxic influence her father was for her. “It’s me. Your best friend since your first year here at Hogwarts.” The male’s tone had softened drastically. “The guy who has seen you at your highs and lows. The one who is in love with you and could give you the world, if you would just stop being stubborn and give him a chance.” Cedric’s bold words were followed by a daring action, as he pulled Celestia’s body into his warming clutch. Her eyes expanded in disbelief from the words she had just heard. “L-Love?” Celestia repeated. Suddenly, a bright flash of light was seen that would startle the two. ”Quick-Quotes Quill! Write this down, ‘From Champion to Charmer. Cedric Diggory caught swooning over Draco Malfoy’s lady, Celestia Aphelion. That would surely grab attention. I love the sound of it already. Everyone loves a love triangle trope!” The blonde reporter would snicker, revealing herself from the shadows. It was none other, than Rita Skeeter, writer for the Daily Prophet. “I think I’ve got quite the story. Much thanks!” Celestia and Cedric would quickly turn to face one another, eyes wide. Without a second thought, the two had retrieved their wands in defense. Despite what they felt, there wasn’t a chance they would allow Rita to continue to abuse her power. “Rita, you cannot publish that without our consent. It would be highly unprofessional to release work that would come off as mere gossip.” Celestia spoke softly, in an attempt to coyly convince the reporter to see the issue from their perspective. But, she didn’t hold high hopes. ”Are you kidding me? This is the most exciting thing that has happened yet! You two are consistently giving me more content that the readers are begging for. Don’t even get me started when Cedric saved you instead of your brother in the second task. I could never sacrifice such work when it gives me such good ratings. I hope you would understand, lovelies.” Rita displayed a crooked grin. She held no compassion when it came to their feelings, her main motivation was her work. ”Expelliarmus!” Casted Cedric as a bright light emitted from off of the ash based equipment. The bolt aimed for the infamous acid green quill. The spell landed, however, the quill was only raised from out of her hand to dance within the air. ”Isn’t that adorable? I hope you would know it would take more than a simple spell.” Rita would softly shake her head in disapproval. “My time here is up, I look forward to the next time we cross paths. Fumos!” Her words finished with a spell, as a thick cloud of smoke gathered across the courtyard, as the sound of her heels could be heard clacking off into the distance. ”Ced, we can’t let her get away!” Begged Celestia in between coughs, as she choked against the dense air that surrounded her. If this was a first offense, it wouldn’t have been an issue. But the two already dealt with her rumors. The last thing she needed was another reason for Draco to erupt an argument. Nodding his head, Cedric proceeded on foot, taking her hand into his. “Come on!” He led as they kept a well pace right after Rita. The male held no issue when it came to running in formal wear. However, Celestia was finding herself struggling. ”If it wasn’t for this smoke!” She complained, her view following after the blonde reporter as she swiftly dashed inside the castle. Due to the ball, the majority of Hogwart’s students were gathered in one general area. Celestia and Cedric kept a close range with their target. “Here, this way, we’ll cut her off in the kitchen!” Without doubting her idea, Cedric nodded his head, as the two quickly changed their direction. A few house elves who worked in the kitchen would groan as the students caused disruption. They crept, swerved, and weaved through the kitchen as it’s chefs occupied it. Busting from out the doors, the two were met by Rita running in their direction. With furrowed brows, Celestia pointed her wand directly before her. “Immobulus!” Casting the charm, the female was able to immobilize and stop the actions of Rita. It was unfortunate enough she set them on a wild goose chase. “Rita, enough!” She spoke with her wand still aimed. One could never know what the infamous reporter had up her sleeve. “It’s unfair for you to share such nonsense. You’re bringing dishonor to Cedric’s and my name.” She wasn’t expecting Rita to comprehend the common decency to offer empathy towards the young adults. Cedric cleared his throat as he lowered his arm, relaxing his posture. Truthfully, he didn’t mind if the word were to get out. He solely cared over Celestia’s feelings, knowing how much her reputation meant to her. “There has to be something you want in exchange to convince you not to publish that?” Temporarily frozen in her tracks, Rita found herself forced to confront her two pursuers. “That’s going to be something big.” The female softly hummed. “I know you have something on the Malfoy’s, I know it. Share it with me and I’ll promise I won’t publish this article.” ”Bribery? Are you really trying to bribe me?” Celestia scoffed as her arms crossed over her chest, shooting Rita a deadly glare of disgust. “Just wait till my father hears about this!” Her reaction quickly brought Cedric’s attention, as a cheek grin slowly stretched along his face. “Calm  down, Malfoy.” He teased whilst attempting to withhold laughter.
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mybumpbirthandbeyond · a month ago
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Postpartum
Following our incredible birth, Alex and I decided to stay overnight in the hospital. Despite Emily being born just after 3pm, she was due her detailed check a minimum of 6 hours after birth. I felt better than I had with Cailean and actually managed a shower without almost collapsing this time, but the after pains were quite bad and I was worried my blood pressure would drop again to the point I couldn’t stand. Physically, I wasn’t sure I could manage the stairs at home. The fact Emily wasn’t seen until after 10pm for her hearing and her detailed check meant there wouldn’t be much point. What we didn’t realise was we were the only ones in the Midwife Led Unit until the early hours of the morning.
Apart from giving birth in the same room as I did with Cailean, I was then moved to the exact same postnatal room. Thankfully it was at the unit still instead of the ward, so Alex was able to stay as it was a single room. Emily passed all her checks with flying colours. The midwife who carried out those checks was actually the same midwife who had looked after me the day after Cailean was born. The only thing that she told us was that she would be referred for a hip check. The midwife had no concerns, but girls are apparently more prone to hip dysplasia than boys - if she was a boy she wouldn’t have been referred. We found out afterwards that as she was marked breech at 29 weeks, the referral would have gone through anyway.
What I marveled at this time was how many times someone mentioned my separation. Immediately after birth, the experienced midwife in the room checked my tummy and my uterus and asked “did you have a separation in your last pregnancy?” It was one of the first things they said. Already that was a revelation in comparison to first time around. The next midwife to check me on nightshift mentioned physio. Good job I already have the best team I could ask for.
The next morning, I was checked by another midwife. She too was experienced and I had come across her with Cailean as well. The difference was, she was the one who told me she didn’t think I was in active labour (I was), and that she would just give me a sweep before sending me home, only to discover I was 5 cm and declaring I was ‘a secret worker.’ When I was told who was in charge of the unit that day I recognised the name. I told Alex I was certain that it was her. When she came in the room we both looked at each other. It turned out she was also the person I had spoken to on the phone when I was in labour on the way in the car the day before. She told me she knew I wouldn’t be able to answer all the usual COVID questions so when I said I had no symptoms she ticked everything off to get me off the phone. I was grateful for that.
She carried out my final check before discharge. She felt my tummy and asked me “did you have a separation last time?” I told her I did and I’d been seeing physios ever since. I was seen antenatally and would be seen in a few weeks. She said “so you don’t need me to refer you to physio?” No, I confirmed. I was blown away by the number of times I was asked about my tummy immediately after giving birth. It just served as a reminder as to how poor my experience was last time in terms of my diastasis. I felt either someone had read my notes closely, or it was that significant it was hard to ignore. Or maybe they knew I had spoken to patient relations last time. The irony is, I know so much about it now and because I have such a great team, I was able to dismiss all of this confidently. Also knowing that, without being disrespectful, I’m sure I know more about diastasis than all of the midwives put together.
Empowering thing - not only was I confident in what my physios said about giving birth (with a wee wobble before the consultant review), but postnatally, I was neither up nor down by the midwives’ comments. Of course, I was still wondering how bad it is: gap wise, tension wise, depth wise - that’s natural. But I would find out soon enough and even 4 weeks down the line, it’s a helluva lot quicker than last time!
The focus on the tummy did not stop when I left the hospital. I was seen by the community midwives when I got home. I had three appointments spread over the week. The first I had was with the midwife who had been at my 34 week appointment and was unable to find Emily’s heartbeat. She knew about my tummy and specifically said – “now what are we doing about this tummy?” I told her I was booked in to see Lyndsey at the end of April and I would just restart my rehab. A few days later I was seen by the student midwife who had been at my consultant review and another midwife on the community team – my own midwife was on annual leave. Again, the same question – “did you have a separation after your last birth?” Everyone seemed to recognise I had a significant separation, even after only just having had Emily.
I’m sure everyone has seen my posts about my midwife appointments. As I have said before, I really like my midwife, but as Alex pointed out, she’s lucky I don’t take offence at the things she says. She doesn’t mean them out of badness, but I think she’s genuinely baffled by my tummy. I’ve developed a pretty thick skin over the period since finding out about my diastasis – I have had to in order to put up with the comments and the looks etc. I’m so used to it now after two years: sad, but true. My midwife requested to see me as I had seen two different midwives since the hospital and neither were her. The lack of continuity can be frustrating, especially if you are struggling and you just wonder how hard it would be to have the same person visit a few times a few days apart. She has been my midwife for two children and this is it for us, so I agreed to postpone the visit until she could do it. Plus she is a lovely woman so I would have preferred to see her for the last time.
She attended with the same student who had seen me on the Sunday. She asked me what happened and I explained it was extremely quick but everything went well. She had obviously met Cailean a few times so made a fuss of him. One of the first things she said was, “what’s happening with your tummy because you still look big.” I mean, I was only 1 week 3 days postpartum, but I guess I’m not normal judging by her reaction! I told her about my appointment.
She asked about support such as a corset and the surgery. Some people don’t think about it being major abdominal surgery, so when I said it would be a couple of years yet she was surprised. I explained it wouldn’t help to have toddlers dependent on me picking them up when I can do very little lifting, if at all, for at least 6 weeks. She asked me if I had managed to improve it before I fell pregnant this time around so I showed her my progress picture. She was astounded: no better example of a picture paints 1000 words! When it came to her examining my tummy I lay down and as usual, my tummy had a mind of its own. She didn’t quite laugh but it was a bit like exclaiming with disbelief. She actually said, “how am I supposed to feel your womb?” I mean, I’ve learned a lot over the past two years and know basic anatomy, but I’m still not medically qualified in any way – you would hope the people trained would still know where to look for the womb a week post birth!! She found it but her hand continued sinking in my tummy. She asked if the student could feel which I said was fine. “I’ve never seen a tummy like yours. I wish I had pictures.” There was a small part of me that thought I have plenty pictures but I bit my tongue. To the student: “You’re lucky getting to see this – I’ve never seen anything like this.” Well, good to know I’m unique and memorable, even if it is for my tummy and nothing else…
I was light-hearted and polite as always. As I mentioned, I genuinely don’t think she did it out of badness and didn’t mean it to be offensive. I think the way I am about it almost gave her the green light to say whatever came into her head. Someone who was more sensitive, and more easily offended could have been really upset by her comments. I just laughed it off when my husband said that. If nothing else, this journey has taught me to be mentally tough, and that my ability to be exactly that is far beyond anything I could have imagined.
That’s the last time I’ll be pregnant: I will never have any need for midwives again in my life. They are the most caring and some of the most incredible people I have met. I’ll never forget any of the midwives who have cared for me and my children and I owe them everything for bringing both my children into the World safely. There are not enough words to thank them for that. As much as my experience hasn’t always been the easiest, particularly in this pregnancy, it’s quite emotional to think I won’t be doing it again. I think postpartum was the first opportunity I had to think about that. Emily came so fast, I did not have the time most parents have to dwell on Cailean now losing his status as an only child. I didn’t get upset or wistful dropping him off because I didn’t know when I did it would be the last time we would see him as our only one.
Cailean has proven to be a brilliant big brother and even more caring than I could have wished for. The first thing he says in the morning is, “see Emily” and the last thing before bed is, “kiss Emily.” I consider myself so lucky to have such a good wee boy - it definitely makes adjusting to life as a four so much easier.
The next blogs will be about my early postnatal recovery and restarting rehab…
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radramblog · a month ago
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Album Discussion- Outlier
With how busy I’ve been doing uni work recently, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to let the stress out. The brief lockdown obviously hasn’t helped matters. Sometimes you just need to get the frustration out, you know? And there’s not a lot of healthy efficient ways of doing so.
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Anyway so I’m just gonna relisten to this underrated metal album and talk about it for a bit, yeah?
Twelve Foot Ninja is an Australian alternative metal/djent group that makes up for having the stupidest band name I’ve ever heard by having a solid couple albums full of bangers that take a few steps off the expected path. Outlier, their sophomore work, would end up nominated for the 2016 ARIA Award for Best Hard Rock or Heavy Metal Album, but lost to Nonagon Infinity, which to be fair is one of the best rock albums of the decade so not hard to get beat by. It is unbelievably edgy, but has some twists that make it all the more worth it. Let’s get into it, shall we?
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The album’s opener, One Hand Killing, makes a strong opening statement. You’ve got an extended guitar note and a fucking gong, some handclaps, and then the main instruments come in and what the fuck is the guitar doing. These stutter, almost glitchlike riffs give the track such a unique sound, and their being interspersed with these lyric sections with the claps and the bass just churning keeps it from getting too stale. The chorus is more melodic than you’d expect from the verse’s vocals, though they don’t properly kick in until the second verse to be fair. And then about two minutes in, suddenly the song is, uh. A soul track? I think that’s what’s going on there? It’s kind of a rug-pull moment the first time you hear it, and though it only lasts about 20 seconds or so it’s just so jarring- not necessarily in a bad way. The thing with Twelve Foot Ninja is their ability to weave what would otherwise sound absurd or ridiculous more naturally into what are otherwise really heavy sounding tracks, giving them this unique flavour of prog metal I haven’t really heard elsewhere (outside of some tracks on Between the Buried and Me’s Colors). The soul? jazz? bit comes back to close the song, piano having a really fun little ditty as the song fades out. I’m going to be honest, this song is the opener, and also the best track on the album in my opinion, so if you don’t like this then probably don’t keep going?
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Sick opens on a much funkier line, almost Red Hot Chili Peppers-esque, before the song proper cuts in. Yeah, get used to that. This track more fluidly combines its two…genres…? I feel woefully inadequate to describe this to be honest. But the funkier elements are folded into the verses rather than being separately delineated like in One Hand Killing. The backing vocalist is doing a lot of work on this track, lots of “ooohhoahahaaaah” sorta in the background that works pretty well. The guitars are doing this thing where it feels like they ratchet between chords which sounds pretty sick. Pun not intended. Anyway.
Inivinciblllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle is again, opening heavy, falling away to a quiet acoustic bit for parts of the verse, but this song really like building up towards its choruses which said quiet bits really accentuate. It’s kinda coming in waves, self-reflective quiet turning into regret and frustration into rage- it makes the very djent bridge feel earned. The final build skipping a step into yelling but going back to the singing at the end does feel a bit poetic, like the maturity gained through the reflection is showing through. Of course, then old mate sceams INVINCIBLEEEE again, so who knows.
Oxygen opens on this really bouncy rhythm, with these little mysterious riffs, punctuated by some shredding because why the fuck not. I really wish this part of the song stuck around for longer, though I could see it overstaying its welcome. The song goes between this and more, like groove-rocky instrumentation for a fair while, busting into a big chorus like a lot of these tracks do, and following up with just this really lovely little jazzy piece. I feel like I need to re-explain, there is little to no overlap between these sections in these songs, but it doesn’t feel wrong. Even when this song is just bongos for a bit, it connects, even as that bit leads into the closing minute of the track- the heaviest it’s been so far, repeating and slowly fading out as percussion that’s been there the whole time becomes more audible and too fades away.
The fifth track , Collateral, feels like it’s having the most fun with the vocal delivery so far. There’s a flow to the lyrics in the verses, and the way the chorus has little falsetto bits in between the usual deep delivery is really fun. That’s not even getting into the instrumentation, with that, like, koto? line? They’re kinda leaning into that Japanese theme, I guess. This is as good a time as ever to mention that the album art for the previous album was a giant fuckoff shuriken and their upcoming one is apparently titled Shinobi Voyage. God, I don’t think this is racist, but I’m obviously not the one to say it. Hell of a thing to talk about on what’s probably my second favourite track here, but that’s what we signed up for, right?
Post Mortem’s verses are the closest thing to rap-rock/nu metal on the record, though the funk influence is clearly still there, and there’s like a fuckin flamenco breakdown on this which you kinda have to hear to believe. Honestly this track goes in a lot of directions I wasn’t expecting, like I forgot about half of this, I have no idea what’s going on with those backing vocals at 2:30ish. I dunno, it’s about this point in the album that I start checking out. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love this album, but normally at this point I’m thinking about things while listening to it so I miss like half of it.
With that said, I’m listening to the next track, Point of You, and it’s way, way better than I gave it credit for. It’s an almost bubbly track with verses that wouldn’t sound out of place in like, a café song. It’s got trumpets going off in the background, yes! Also assuming I’ve got these lyrics right, this is secretly just a really romantic song, which I am occasionally a sucker for. I dunno man, what’s this doing buried at the back here, y’all should promote this.
Considering I’ve had a pretty long day and I’ve already written a lot (both here and in the essay I was writing for uni earlier) I’m going to miss talking about the final 3 tracks, though I will note that they really have a song called Adios and it isn't the last song on the album, that just seems like such an obvious move. Of course, seeing as how a lot of these songs are built on surprise directions, it’s probably intentional. I think part of what makes this album great is the sheer spectacle of it, where it’s just trying to keep you guessing at every turn where it’s going to go. But within that sporadicity is a consistency- no matter where these tracks go, you know it’s going to be built around these immense metal choruses, these similar guitar tones, and these killer riffs. The three tracks I’m not specifically discussing- Monsoon, Adios, and Dig for Bones- all of them might be more of the same, but the same here is great.
And I’ve seen these folks live, and it was a genuinely excellent experience. All that energy shifting as the songs develop, the fact that they were clearly having a lot of fun being there, it was just awesome- especially considering it’s the only time I’ve been to a concert on my own. Like, there’s no pretention with these guys, they’re just a bunch of blokes, they’re out here making goofy music that they enjoy, and doing a good job in the process.
I do legitimately think this album deserves it’s place among the royalty of the ARIA award King Gizzard denied it. Like, aside from the other King Gizz albums on the list of nominees, I can’t see anything I like more on here. This album fucks, but in such a unique way that it gets to stand on its own among dozens of other heavy records. I’m admittedly not super familiar with Twelve Foot Ninja’s first album, Silent Machine, and they are supposed to have one coming this year, but as it is Outlier is easily one of my favourite metal albums, ever.
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secretmischief · a month ago
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Dessert (Suga x Female)
Contains: Smut; Fictitious representations of existing persons; First date sex; Slight role play; Spanking; Unprotected sex.
Summary: Min Yoongi asks out a woman he’s had his eye on from the park he jogs at.
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Min Yoongi had been coming to the park to run for about a month. His physician had suggested running to stay in shape since going to the gym with the guys still put too much stress on his shoulder and upper arm. He supposed that running on one of the high-tech treadmills would suffice. However, running in the park provided fresh air - and the girl he’d been eyeing. Coming here to see her was a recent development. He noticed her a few weeks ago, then had seen her again the next time. It just kind of snowballed from there. Today she was wearing a maroon sundress with little white flowers, propped up under a tree reading her Kindle, as she always did. He wondered what she was reading this time. He knew it was a little wrong what he was doing, probably flirting the line of stalking, but he justified it by telling himself jogging in the park was the point of being here. Never mind the days he became irrationally disappointed when she was nowhere in sight. He was definitely here for his health, sure. After his run, he collapsed on a bench a few meters from her spot, taking large clumsy swigs of his water. This was typically the point where he contemplated speaking to her, then thought better of it and left. In fact, he was about to do just that, when he glanced back toward her but found her closing the distance between them. Her eyes locked onto his. “Hi,” she greeted, “I was just curious what kind of bottle you’re drinking from? My brothers birthday is soon and I think he’d like one,” she explained. He blinked stupidly at her a few times before answering dryly, “I think it’s a Hydro Flask.” Several seconds passed, she was clearly giving him a wide open opportunity - yet he sat there dumbfounded by her presence. The way the wind whipped her hair and dress made her seem like a vision from a classic film. “Okay,” she said, pressing her hands together awkwardly, “I just see you here with it a lot and thought I’d ask. Thanks,” she smiled sweetly and turned to retreat. Suddenly an alarm started buzzing in Yoongis brain and jolted him to his feet. “Uh...what were you reading?” he asked in a clumsy yell. She whipped back around to face him, trying to gauge if he was just being polite or genuinely trying to start a conversation. “I was reading a biography on Earnest Hemingway, the author,” she replied. “Oh, I’ve heard of him but I’ve never read any of his stuff,” he admitted. “You must like him I guess?” She scrunched her nose in possibly the most adorable way he’d ever seen. “Not really,” she admitted, “but I’m giving a lesson on him next week and I needed to brush up.” “Are you a teacher?” he guessed. “Yes, I teach English to Grades 9 and 10. I like to incorporate American and British authors and artists into my lessons,” she explained. So she taught English, he wondered what had brought a western girl like her to Seoul. “That explains why you’re not Korean,” he said, then felt like kicking himself for saying something so ridiculous sounding. “I guess,” she laughed. “I’m originally from Tennessee,” she told him. “Oh, cool,” he replied. Tennessee had never been a stop on their tour and he wasn’t really familiar with the region though he knew it was in the US. “I’m Elena Barton,” she said, holding her hand out. “Min Yoongi,” he replied. She blushed a bit, “is it weird that I knew that?” she asked. He shrugged, “not really. I’m used to it,” he admitted. “I’m not a crazy fan,” she assured him, “I just see you on television like, all the time here,” she said. He smiled, “so you’re not a fan of our music?” “My students are,” she quipped with a grin. “I see,” he laughed. “Honestly I wouldn’t know if I like it or not, I’m not really familiar with it, since moving here I barely have time to do anything but work - I don’t get out much.” “I could familiarize you,” he offered, involuntarily licking his lips. “That would be nice,” she agreed.
*
Several days had passed since they’d met in the park. Going out in public wasn’t really an option for him, so he’d invited her to dinner at his apartment. She understood and offered to bring dessert. He had thought about making a naughty remark about what he’d like to do with her and a dessert, but didn’t want to run her off. He was taking the last bit of dinner out of the oven when she knocked on the door. He set the dish on the stove and rushed to open it. She had on another summer dress, this time in a plain navy color. Her hair was half up in a cute bun, the rest cascaded over her shoulders in milk chocolate waves. Black rimmed glasses framed her pretty face, which had very little (if any) makeup on it. “You look so nice,” he said causing a pink blush to fall across her cheeks and ears. “Thank you, you look dashing yourself,” she smiled. “Oh, this old thing??” he gestured to his baggy tee and ripped jeans. They both laughed. She handed him a dish, “oh what’s this?” “I made All-American brownies, because I don’t know shit about Korean desserts,” she admitted. “I love brownies,” he responded in English. They ate, talking about their jobs. He let her listen to some of his music, and asked her if she could teach him some English. She showed him her students’ progress reports on her phone, proudly indicating how well they’ve been doing lately. After they both finished a slice of brownie they sat, satisfied and full, both grinning at how well their date was going. “I have a confession,” he said, breaking a small pause in their conversation. “Oh, do tell,” she urged. “Most days I’m at the park, I’m only there to see you,” he glanced at her, wondering if it would freak her out. She nodded seriously, “I have a confession as well then,” she folded her hands as if at an interrogation. “My brothers birthday was last month, and he’d like a Hydro Flask about as much as he’d like a sack of dirt,” she grinned and he laughed loudly. “I see you all the time watching me,” she continued, “and I knew who you were but I didn’t know how to approach you without seeming like a weirdo, so I made up the water-bottle-gift idea. Which is kind of a weirdo move, but still.” “Naughty girl,” he tutted. “You have no idea,” she joked, but immediately blushed, realizing how erotic it had come out sounding. They both went silent for a moment, taking sips of their wine. Wondering if they were thinking about the same thing. “Another confession...I’d really like to kiss you,” he said, looking at the floor. “I think I’d like that too,” she replied quietly. He smiled and leaned over the table, pressing his lips against hers. He was gentle at first, but gentle was never really his forte. Sliding his tongue across her lip, he was pleased when she met it with her own. Her hand slid behind his neck, up into his messy hair, tugging at it and wrapping it around her fingers. He let out a moan and nipped at her lower lip, eliciting a barely audible whimper from her. Grabbing her arm he tugged her body toward him, her legs straddling his lap on the dining chair. He buried his hand in her hair, controlling her head - tilting and turning it to kiss her how he wanted. Her hands roamed his chest and sides, desperate to touch and grab him. They sat there, making out feverishly like teenagers in his dining room until the buzzer on his washing machine rang out through the apartment. The noise so invasive it nearly knocked them both to the floor. “I forgot I’d started that,” he laughed and she started giggling as well. “You kiss by the book Romeo,” she smirked, pulling the top half of her hair out of the bun that Yoongi had destroyed during their kiss. He watched as her brown locks loosened and bounced messily around her face. His cock was still quasi-hard from her straddling his lap during their make out session. He was aware enough to know he probably wasn’t thinking clearly, but he was dazed enough not to care too much at the way he was devouring her with his eyes. “You look like a teacher,” he grinned devilishly at her. Her hair was messier, her glasses a bit off kilter, and her cute, but form fitting dress was a bit twisted and crinkled, but he wanted to see what was under it. “I am a teacher,” she reminded, looking up at him through her thick lashes. She could tell he was wound up, and saw the twitching bulge under his jeans. She bit her lip, moving her eyes back up to his. “Mmm,” he nodded, “specifically you look like a very, very hot teacher. Like the kind people fantasize about but never actually get,” he explained. She licked her lips and resumed her seat across his lap, running her fingers through his hair roughly. “Do you want to fuck a teacher Min Yoongi?” she whispered, gently sucking and licking his throat. His hands gripped her hips and he let out a breath he’d been holding in. “Yes,” he admitted, “but I don’t want to move too fast with you...I like you,” he admitted shyly. “Yoongi, I’m a school teacher but that doesn’t mean I’m in any way prudent,” she told him, “I like you too, I wouldn’t be straddling you in a skirt if I didn’t,” she chuckled. “If you don’t want to we won’t though.” “I do want to,” he slid his hands under the skirt of her dress, raking his nails against the warm smoothness of her thighs. “Tell me what you want,” she asked softly. “Get up, turn around,” he commanded and she did as she was told while he frantically shoved dishes on the table out of the way. Pressing himself against her back he buried his nose into her hair, it smelled like flowers and shampoo. He kissed her shoulder as he pulled the tiny zipper down the middle of her back. Sliding his fingertips beneath the straps of her dress, he pushed them away, wiggling the light fabric down her curves then watching it slowly drop to the floor. She was wearing a black strapless bra with a matching pair of lacy briefs that made his mouth a bit dry. Pulling her into him he buried his head in her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses as his hand snaked around to gently caress her breast. She leaned her head back into his shoulder, guiding his other hand down her midriff.
“Are you wet?” he whispered in her ear, his fingertips teasing the hem of her briefs.
“Why don’t you find out?” she breathed, turning her head to capture his mouth with her own.
He dipped his hand down, feeling the small patch of fine hair above her center and was pleased she wasn’t completely hairless down there. Smiling into her mouth, he gently teased her clit, the contact eliciting a moan from her. He ran his finger over her wetness, bringing it back up and circling her clit with a gentle pressure.
“God, you feel amazing,” he told her. He wanted her so badly he could barely contain himself. He stepped back from her and she used the opportunity to brace herself against the table, taking time to breathe and bring her heart rate back down a bit. He removed his shirt and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down along with his boxers. He pressed his erection into her ass while he removed the bra that was now pulled down under her breasts.
“If I fuck you well, will you give me good marks ma’am?” he teased her.
“Yes,” she whispered, unsure of what to say.
“Bend over,” he ordered and she bent slightly, “No,” he whispered and he brought his hand down hard on her ass, the sound resonating in the small dining room followed by her gasp. “I said bend over,” he repeated and pressed her shoulders down so her chest and stomach were on the table in front of them.
“Good girl,” he said, then touching her where his hand had just slapped her he rubbed it gently, “was that okay, what I did?” he asked, realizing it may have shocked her.
“Fuck yes,” she groaned.
“Good.”
He hooked his fingers into her underwear and pulled them down her legs, he could see how wet they were and he bit his lip.
“I don’t have any condoms right now…” he trailed.
She turned to look at him, “It’s okay, I’m on birth control. I trust you Yoongi.”
“I trust you too,” he replied with a sweet smile. “Now put your face back down on the table,” he demanded, his hand slapping her ass again.
She bit her lip as she resumed her position, stretching her arms out to grip the edge of the table, “if you want good marks you better earn them,” she moaned, feeling the tip of his cock teasing her slit.
He chuckled a bit, “I plan to.”
Gripping her hips with one hand, he guided his penis to her entrance, sliding up and down her wet center before slowly pushing himself into her. They both moaned, and he pulled back out, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. He pushed back into her, this time a little harder and deeper.
“That’s so good,” she whimpered.
He grabbed a handful of her hair to steady himself as he plowed into her, listening to her pant on the tabletop. The only sound in the room was their skin colliding and a delicious melody of moaning and hitched breaths. His hands were gripping her hips so tightly he was afraid they’d leave bruises, but it was the only thing he could concentrate on to keep himself from reaching orgasm.
“I’m so close,” Yoongi warned.
“I’m nearly there,” she groaned in reply.
He kept pumping into her ferociously, his torso curved over her back, legs shaking.
“Oh fuck,” she yelped, and he felt her walls start shuddering around him. Smiling, he thrust into her a few more times, then pulled out to spill himself across the back of her thighs.
He breathlessly pulled her off the table and turned her around, crashing his mouth against hers in a tangle of tongue and teeth. Then pulling her into his chest, so they could catch their breath.
“Well, do I get a good grade?” he smiled, planting gentle kisses across her jawline.
“Yes. You get a good grade,” she smiled and kissed him deeply, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into her.
“You know what I want to eat right now?” he breathed against her neck.
“What?”
“Another brownie,” he teased, both of them laughing.
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