#like yes you can ship them idc but when you believe that logically they can be a couple thats when you fall into the wrong | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

38 notes · View notes

turtle-steverogers · 5 years

Text

Fugitives- Chap 6

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Warnings: D E A T H (someone is shot and killed, yeet), drug mention

Ship: Eventual Ralbert

I’m so so so sorry

Albert was awoken a few hours later to the sounds of people arguing on the other side of the shower curtain. He kept his eyes shut as he strained his ears, trying to catch what the voices were saying.

“You let someone walk away?” Whispered a voice that Albert recognized as Jack’s.

“He promised he wouldn’t run his mouth,” Came Race’s reply.

“Of course he promised, Antonio,” Came another, exasperated voice, “Anyone would promise that if you shot a gun at their wall and threatened to kill them.”

“Davey’s right,” Jack said, “I can’t believe you, Race.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Race exclaimed defensively.

“Kill him, Racetrack,” Jack said, his voice was gaining volume, “You were supposed to kill him.”

“Jack Kelly, you know that I can’t fucking-”

“Yes, I’ve fucking heard it. I’ve heard a million times that you won’t fucking kill anyone else,” Jack was speaking loudly now, “I don’t know what happened to you in Prospect. I don’t know what part you played in Rockefeller, but you’re going to have to get the fuck over it one day, because in this fucking life, you’re gonna have to kill a few people and-”

“Shut up, Jack!” Race shouted, “Shut the fuck up. I know that I’m gonna have to kill a few people. Hell, you’ve made me kill a few people, but don’t fucking talk to me about Rockefeller. Don’t ever bring that up, asshole, there’s a fucking reason I don’t talk about it.” Race’s breath hitched after the last sentence.

“Both of you quiet down, you’re going to wake people up,” The other man, Davey, scolded, “Jack, leave his past out of this. Race, take a deep breath. We’re going to have to think about how to deal with Albert’s roommate, but for now, I think that it would be best if we all just got some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” Jack mumbled.

“Thank you,” Davey said, “Race?”

Albert heard Race take a measured breath, “Okay,” he answered, voice strained.

“Good, get some sleep, Race,” Davey instructed, “Jack, c’mon.”

Albert cracked an eye open, watching as two silhouettes walked to the other side of the theatre. He saw Race’s shadow pacing back and forth behind the curtain a few times, before he sat down on his cot. It looked like he was holding his head in his hands.

Albert felt worry claw at his gut. What were they planning to do to Elmer? He had half a thought to send a warning text to him, but didn’t want to find out the repercussions if Jack found out he’d contacted him. Maybe they weren’t going to kill him, maybe they were just going to recruit Elmer like they’d done with him. Logically, Albert knew that wasn’t the case.

Albert let out a frustrated sigh and reached under his pillow to grab his phone. It was nearly 6:00 am, so Elmer would be waking up within the hour to go to his morning shift at the coffee shop he worked at.

Albert clicked into his and Elmer’s texts and bit his lip, trying to decide how to word his message.

To Elmer: Bro, do me a fat favor and stay at your girl’s place for a few days. Don’t ask questions. I’m handling it. Just don’t go back to our place and never go anywhere alone.

He hovered his thumb over the send button for a few moments, then delivered it. Elmer was no doubt going to ask questions anyway, but it was worth a shot. He deleted their conversation and slid his phone back under his pillow. Rolling over, he noticed that Race was no longer sitting on his cot. In fact, it didn’t look like he was on his side of the wing at all. Albert frowned and lifted his head, glancing around the parts of the theatre that he could see, but there was no sign of Race anywhere. He got up, curiosity getting the better of him. Carefully, he drew back the curtain separating his and Race’s side, eyes sweeping the dark area. At first he didn’t see anything, then he noticed Race sitting on the ground in front of his cot.

“You okay?” He whispered, causing Race to jump violently and turn around.

His face was lined with tear tracks, which he hastily wiped away with his shirt sleeve, “What the fuck? How long’ve you been awake?”

Albert shrugged, “Not too long.”

Race stood, then sat down on his cot, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked tired, “Did you hear anything?”

Albert considered telling him what he had witnessed of his conversation with Jack and Davey, but thought against it, “Nothing besides you moving around.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah..”

“Sorry for waking you.”

Albert waved a hand nonchalantly, “You didn’t, I’m a light sleeper.”

Race sniffed and lowered his chin to rest on his knees, “What do you want?”

Albert glanced down, suddenly feeling guilty for invading what was obviously a very personal moment for Race, “Uh, nothing. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Race scowled, “Well, I’m fine. Why do you care anyway? I’ve been pretty terrible to you.”

“I was just curious, man-” They both startled when Albert’s phone began buzzing.

Race raised his eyebrows, “You better go get that before Jack or Davey hears. They’re really strict about phones and who we’re all contacting.”

Albert huffed and let the curtain fall back into place, once again separating himself from Race. He took his phone from under his pillow to see that Elmer was calling him. He quickly declined the call and clicked into his texts.

To Elmer: No calling. Just text.

From Elmer: Where the fuck are you man???? What the fuck happened yesterday??? Are you alive?????

To Elmer: Of course I’m alive, numbnuts. I can’t tell you where I am and I can’t tell you what was happening yesterday, but you’re kinda in danger so…

From Elmer: BUdDY you can’t say all this shit without an explanation. I’m freaking the fuck out

To Elmer: Believe me, I am too. Listen, please just trust me. Where are you right now? From Elmer: Sarah’s

Albert slumped onto his cot, relief flooding his system. Elmer was safe at his girlfriend’s place, far from their apartment.

To Elmer: Thank fuck, okay. Maybe don’t go to work tomorrow. Or move to China and change your name. Idc, just please look out for yourself. Also delete this convo

From Elmer: Albert what the fuck

To Elmer: I’m sorry. I gotta go. Remember to delete this. I’ll talk to you when I can

From Elmer: Jfc ok bye

Albert erased his messages once more and laid back against his pillows. He scrolled through Instagram mindlessly, trying in vain to get tired again. It was nearing 7:00 am, so he assumed he’d have to be up soon anyway. Eventually, he dozed off, phone still in hand.

XXX

“The fuck?” Albert yelped as his pillow was yanked out from under his head.

“Rise and shine, bitchatcho.”

Albert looked up to see Race hovering over him, pillow in hand.

“What time s’it?” He asked, voice still thick with sleep.

“Like, 8:00 am,” Race thwacked Albert violently with the pillow, ”We gotta long day ahead of us, so get the fuck up.”

Albert glared at him for a long moment before reluctantly sitting up, “Fine, give me like, ten minutes to change and take a piss.”

“Awesome, meet me downstairs by the storage room when you’re.”

Albert gave him a sarcastic thumbs up and watched as Race left the stage. He pulled his jeans out from under his cot and changed into them, then went to the dressing rooms to use the bathroom. On his way downstairs, he stopped by his bin and took out a sweatshirt, yanking it over his head as he bounded down the stairs.

As promised, Race was waiting outside the storage room, eating a banana. There were two other men with him, one sporting a backwards hat over his curly brown hair and the other leaning heavily on a crutch.

“Heya, Albert,” Race greeted, “Meet Finch and Crutchie.”

The one with a crutchie leaned forward, offering a hand, “As you can probably gather, outta the two of us, I’m Crutchie. I’m Empire’s medic, so if you’re aboutta die or some shit, I’ll patch you up.”

“Uh, sounds good,” Albert said, shaking Crutchie’s hand. He turned to the guy in the backwards hat, “And what about you?”

“Finch,” The guy grunted.

Albert cocked his head and looked at Race, who flicked the guy in the back of the head, “Sorry about him, he’s bitter. That’s Finch. He’s our botanist.”

“Botanist?”

“I run our drug inventory,” Finch said, toying with a cigarette and looking entirely uninterested.

“Cool, uh, nice to meet you..” Finch scanned his eyes over Albert, who crossed his arms self-consciously.

“Likewise.”

“Well, this is cozy,” Crutchie said brightly, “Anyway, I leave you all to your work. Just thought I’d introduce myself. Toodles!” He waved and hobbled away.

“You gotta key, Finchy?” Race asked.

“Don’t call me that,” Finch said, fishing a key out of his jacket pocket and unlocking the storage room door.

“Oh yeah,” Race said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out another banana, “Here, before I forget it’s in there and sit on it.” he handed the banana to Albert, who hesitantly took it.

“I didn’t poison it or some shit,” Race laughed, “Just thought you’d be hungry.”

Albert wordlessly peeled the banana and took a bite, realizing belatedly how hungry he was.

“Race,” Finch called from inside the storage room, “What do you need?”

“Uh, get me like, two grams of pot? And...I think that’s it. It’s a small trade.”

“Kay,” Finch emerged a moment later holding a white paper bag. He handed it to Race who crumpled it and put it into his jacket pocket.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Higgins,” Finch held out a hand, “Give me the bag back.”

Race rolled his eyes and shoved the bag into Finch’s outstretched palm. Finch held his glare as he neatly folded the bag over a few times, then handed it back to Race, who carefully placed it back into his pocket.

“Happy?” Race jeered.

“Extremely,” Finch answered with a fake smile, “We done here? I would like to get coffee now.”

“Yes, we’re done, go get your bean juice.”

Finch sneered and walked away, disappearing up the stairs.

“He’s really fucking meticulous about his drugs,” Race said, zipping up his jacket.

“Meticulous,” Albert repeated, “Didn’t peg you for a fifty-cent-word kinda guy.”

“Shut up, I went to high school. I glanced at all the SAT words.”

“Oh, did you? So what does brevity mean?”

“Uhhhhhhh..” Race screwed up his face in thought, “I said I glanced, dude. That doesn’t mean I retained any actual knowledge.”

“Brevity’s easy. It’s the quality of being brief or terse.”

“Albert, have I told you you’re annoying yet?”

“Many times.”

“Okay, you’re annoying. Now c’mon, The Bronx is waiting.”

XXX

The bleak winter air bit Albert’s face as he and Race left The Bowery. As they walked through the street toward the nearest subway station, Albert couldn’t help but notice the strange feeling that nagged at the back of his neck. The streets felt almost different, like they were hiding some enormous monster underneath them. The ever-existing presence of Empire and Prospect loomed ominously over Race and Albert, blind to the eyes of other pedestrians. He felt incredibly vulnerable, constantly paying mind to who was paying attention to them. Anyone at any time could be a threat- there was no telling who knew what.

They caught the yellow line that would take them to The Bronx, where they were scheduled to trade with some guy in Fordham at 9:30. It was currently 8:15 and the ride was supposed to take about forty-five minutes, leaving Albert wishing he had his headphones so he could disengage completely.

“You nervous at all?” Race’s question surprised Albert, and he turned to him

“Kinda, I guess? How exactly does a trade work?”

“First off, for the love of God, lower your voice,” Race said, leaning in so that they could talk in quieter voices, “And it’s pretty simple. You missed phase one, which is deciding a meet place and trade time. We do that using the graffiti, which I’ve already told you about. One of these days, I’ll show you the symbols we use and what they mean, but that’s not important right now. So now, we just have to be at the coordinated location and make sure he actually has the cash he promised. If he does, we trade, plain and easy.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

Race glanced to the side briefly, “Then, we….” he worried his lip between his teeth.

“...Kill him?” Albert tried,

Race looked down at his lap, reaching up a hand to tug at the hair on the back of his head, “I mean, no. Killing’s not entirely necessary. That’s like, last resort. Like if he pulls knife on us. Yeah, no, we’d just, like, beat him up.” He was rambling and Albert furrowed his brow.

“You alright? Why are you getting weird?”

“I’m not,” Race said, defensively scooting backwards a bit.

“You totally are,” Albert noted that Race had shrunken in on himself, “Is this something to do with last night? With Rockefeller or whatever Jack was talking about?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Albert regretted them.

He silently cursed his lack of a filter as Race whipped his head up, “What? How did you-” he scooted backwards further as his expression turned furious, “So you were listening. You lied to me, DaSilva. This puts you on thin fucking ice.”

Albert pursed his lips, annoyed with himself.

“If you were listening so carefully,” Race seethed, “Then you should have known not to fucking bring that up.”

“M’sorry,” Albert mumbled.

Race didn’t answer as he busied himself in pulling out his headphones, though Albert could see his hands shaking. Albert sat back in his seat and pulled out his own phone, electing to catch up on SnapChat until they arrived in The Bronx.

Fordham was significantly sketchier than the neighborhoods Albert was used to. The storefronts they passed were all worn down and the deeper Race led Albert into the area, the dirtier it got. Race hadn’t spoken a word to him since their conversation on the train, leaving Albert more or less in the dark about the specifics of where they were going. Eventually, they arrived at an abandoned auto-shop.

Race walked around to the back of the lot and knocked on one of the garage doors. It opened a moment later to reveal a tall, gruff looking guy.

“You Racetrack?” He asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Yes, sir, I am,” Race said, sauntering over to him, “But, a little piece of constructive criticism, don’t ever voice your assumptions. If you had been wrong about who was just now, that could have meant serious trouble for the both of us.”

The guy looked unimpressed, “I expected you to be less twiggy.”

“And I expected you to have more than one brain cell, but alas.”

“Whatever,” The guy said, “You got the shit?”

“Yeah,” Race retrieved the paper bag containing the weed from his jacket, “And you’ll get it as soon as I see the cash.”

The guy reached into his back pocket and produced an envelope, “Here, you see it. Now give me the goddamn pot already.”

“Nuh uh uh,” Race wagged his finger, “Calm down, you useless junkie. I already made it very clear the other day that it’s cash first, weed second. Hand it over.”

“Show me the pot first,” Race opened the bag and held it out for the guy to see. He peered at the bag’s contents, inspecting it closely, “And that’s two grams?”

Race clicked his tongue, “It should be.”

The guy nodded and reached into the envelope, revealing a large wad of cash. He held it out for Race to take, who in turn, handed the paper bag over to him.

Once the items were exchanged, Race spit into his palm and offered it to the guy. Without hesitation, the guy spit into his own hand and shook Race’s. Albert wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Pleasure doing business,” Race said, formally.

The guy huffed a small laugh, “Okay.”

With that, he stalked back into the auto shop and closed the garage door. Race turned to Albert, looking pleased.

“That went nice and smooth,” He said.

“Yeah, seemed easy,” Albert agreed.

“I’m hungry,” Race declared, “Let’s head back to The Bowery for lunch, then we can do our next trade.”

“What time’s our next trade? And where?” Albert asked, following Race away from the autoshop.

“4:00 over in Washington Square Park. We have a little while.”

The journey back to The Bowery seemed to take less time than the commute to The Bronx. Race had loosened up significantly and was telling Albert about the other guys in Empire as they entered the theatre.

“So yeah, you met Finch and Crutchie- great guys by the way, absolute geniuses. Aside from them, there’s Mush and Blink, who trade a lot over in Staten Island. Blink’s got an eyepatch. No one knows exactly what happened to his eye, but it definitely involved a knife. Romeo is a little shit, but a total charmer, which comes in handy during trades. Jojo’s the handyman- I’ve already told you about him. Giant teddy bear, that guy. Love him. And then you met Jack and I’ve told you about Les and Davey- oh! I want you to meet Davey, he should be around today, one sec,” As they passed the recreation room, Race stuck his head in, “Hey, Mush.”

Albert peeked over Race’s shoulder to see a shorter guy with straight brown hair, playing solitaire. He looked up upon hearing his name and smiled, “Hey Race,” He made eye contact with Albert and blinked, “You’re Albert, yeah? The dude Race pulled off the street?”

“Indeed, that’s me,” Albert said as Race pulled him into the room.

“Welcome, don’t fuck anything up,” Mush said, placing his cards onto the table and clasping his hands under his chin, “Did you guys need something?”

“Yeah,” Race leaned against the door, “D’you know where Davey is?”

“Uh, I’m not actually sure? I saw him and Jack leave a little bit ago. They said they have something they need to take care of over in SoHo.”

Race frowned, “That’s weird, I didn’t think that they had any trades today.”

Albert felt his blood run cold as he processed what Mush had told them, “Oh my god,” he muttered, “Oh my god.”

Race and Mush looked at him, confusion written on their faces, “What? What’s wrong.”

Albert swallowed and met Race’s stare, panic running down his spine, “Elmer’s girlfriend lives in SoHo.”

“What are you-” Albert didn’t let Race finished as he fled the room, running towards the exit.

“Albert, slow down,” Race called, running after him, “Albert!”

Albert stopped just outside the theatre, turning around to look at Race with wide, terror-stricken eyes, “Race, please, I need to make sure Elmer’s okay.”

“But what does that have to do with his girlfriend-” Understanding dawned on Race’s face, “Wait shit, is he still at his girl’s place?”

“Yes and I think that’s where Jack and Davey are headed. Come or don’t, I’m going,” Albert ran to the street and hailed a cab, Race climbing in next to him.

“Albert,” Race hissed, “You realize this is gonna make it worse, right?”

“Shut up,” Albert snapped, pulling out his phone and dialing Elmer’s number. When he didn’t pick up, Albert called Sarah.

“Hello?” Sarah answered from the other side. She sounded okay, which Albert took as a good sign.

“Sarah, are you at your place?” Albert asked, urgently.

“No, I’m at the grocery store right now, why? Is everything okay?”

“Is Elmer with you?” Albert pushed.

“No,” Sarah said, slowly, “He was still asleep when I left, so he didn’t come.”

“Shit,” Albert cursed, “Shit shit shit.”

“Albert, what’s-” Sarah started, sounding worried.

“I gotta go, but don’t go home,” Albert demanded, not waiting for a reply as he hung up.

They arrived in front of Elmer’s apartment complex fifteen minutes later. Albert almost didn’t want to go inside, too afraid of what he might find. He forced himself to get out of the cab nonetheless and sprinted in through the front, Race on his heels. He bypassed the elevator, instead darting towards the door to the stairwell and scaling the three flights of stairs to Sarah’s floor. When he got to the apartment, he found that it was locked.

He cursed under his breath, then turned to Race, who was standing nervously a few feet away, “Do you have, like, anything you can use to pick locks?” He asked, impatiently.

Race looked like he was having some sort of internal battle as he reached into his boot and pulled out a knife, handing it to Albert, who stuck his tongue between his teeth as he fiddled with the doorknob. It took a few minutes, but eventually he got heard the click indicating that he had succeeded.

“I don’t think you should go in there,” Race warned, but Albert ignored him.

The next thirty seconds felt like they went by in slow motion. Albert opened the door to find Jack and a man in a button down shirt and sweater vest standing on the other side. The man in the sweater vest was pointing a gun at Elmer, who was cowering against the wall. Jack looked up as Albert entered the room and opened his mouth to shout something, but was cut off by the sound of a gunshot. Albert looked over to see Elmer slump onto the floor, blood flowing steadily from his head. He screamed and staggered backwards into Race, who caught him and lowered him to the floor. The sound around Albert seemed to muffle. The world was blurry and he was certain that people were talking around him, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Albert, Jesus Christ,” He felt someone slap him across the face and he flinched, “Stop screaming or Davey’ll shoot you too,” Race’s voice bled into his consciousness and he was suddenly pulled back to reality.

He closed his mouth, stopping the screams that were escaping him. Without thinking, he looked at Elmer’s body again and his stomach lurched. He bent over to the side and threw up, unable to handle the sight any longer. He heard the door close behind him, then the man in the sweater vest crouched down in front of him.

His eyes were alarmingly calm as he offered a hand to Albert, “You must be Albert. I’m Davey, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

In the words of @newsies-of-nyc “R.I.P el, sorry bro”

next chapter we find out what ‘Rockefeller’ is oooo race’s dark past

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@well-the-kids-do-too

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@thatpoorguysheadisspinning

@newsies-of-nyc

@andthewoildwillknow

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@musical-shitposts

@thebroadwayaesthetic

#racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #ralbert #newsies #newsies fic #jack kelly #davey jacobs #fugitives

45 notes · View notes

fardell24b · 3 years

Text

Changes in Time and Space - Twelve and the Stargate - The Doctor vs. the Ori

Part III – The Doctor Vs. The Ori

The SGC

“Unscheduled off world activation!” Sgt. Harriman called out as the gate activated. “Closing the Iris.” The Iris closed.

“Report,” General Landry said.

“Receiving IDC now, Sir,” Harriman said. “It’s SG1!”

“They’re early, open the Iris,” Landry said.

“Aye, Sir,” Harriman said.

The Iris was opened and Daniel and Lana rushed through the gate.

“Close the Iris!” Daniel called out.

“Close the Iris!” Landry said.

The Iris closed. Several thudding sounds could be heard as Ori foot soldiers met their ends, then the Stargate shut down.

“Dr. Jackson, where is the rest of SG1, and who is this with you?” Landry said.

“They have been captured by Adria!” Daniel said. “This is Lana Halaia, from Ao Plaailla,” he indicated Lana. “We barely managed to escape.”

The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS. “What happened, everyone got captured?” he asked.

“Yes, we all put up a fight, but they were all captured,” Daniel said.

“We were lucky to escape!” Lana said.

“Right, one rescue party coming up!” the Doctor said.

“Doctor, we can’t just charge into the situation without first debriefing Doctor Jackson,” Landry said.

“Good point, but in an hour I will be going to that planet and rescuing the rest of SG1 and my companions.”

“I’ll join you then,” Lana decided. What she had heard about the Doctor from his companions lead her to believe that he was very capable.

Five minutes later, Daniel, Lana, the Doctor and Landry met in the briefing room.

For the first twenty minutes Daniel told the latter two of their mission until they entered Enb, then Lana joined him in the description of the mission.

“And then you were surrounded by the Ori troops?” General Landry asked.

“Yes.”

“How did you escape?” General Landry said.

“I’m not sure, it was fairly chaotic,” Dr. Jackson said. He looked at Lana. “Lana managed to grab me while the Priors were otherwise engaged.”

“The team put up a pretty good, fight, General, including that Kiara. She was using some kind of technology that I have never seen,” Lana said.

“I don’t think it was technology,” the Doctor said.

“Then what was it, Doctor?” Lana asked.

“An intrinsic power,” the Doctor said.

“That makes sense,” Daniel said, what with the powers that the Priors displayed he was willing to believe that what he observed Kiara doing was also intrinsic.

“Maybe,” Lana said; she was not sure that biology could explain what she saw Kiara doing, despite the observed capabilities of the Priors and her encounters with the Ancients.

“So, they got captured. Why couldn’t you free them?” Landry asked.

“They were almost immediately beamed to one of the motherships. They had a portable Ring Transporter with them,” Dr. Jackson said.

“As you saw, we were chased to the Gate, and I wasn’t about to lead the Ori forces to a town or village that hadn’t been abandoned,” Lana said.

“So you say,” Landry said, with a slight sarcastic tone.

Lana turned to the Doctor, “could you scare the Ori off from my world?”

“No. All I will be doing is rescuing the rest of SG1 and my companions.”

“Really?” Lana asked dubiously.

“Yes. I have never been to this universe before. Therefore my reputation doesn’t precede me,” the Doctor said. He didn’t want this universe to be too aware of his visit.

“And what sort of reputation do you have in your universe, Doctor?” Landry asked.

“You don’t want to know. I am seen as an incorrigible meddler in some places, and as a false trickster god in others. That is barely scratching the surface.”

Twenty minutes after the briefing ended, the Doctor, Lana, Daniel, General Landry and SG-6 meet in the Gate Room, next to the TARDIS.

“You’re sure you’re taking your ship, Doctor?” Landry asked.

“Yes, Even if it’s captured, neither the Priors nor Adria herself would be able to pilot it.”

“If you say so,” Landry said.

The Doctor opened the TARDIS door. “Let’s go,” he said.

Lana stopped as she entered the TARDIS. “Amazing, it’s actually bigger on the inside,” she said.

The Doctor snorted. “That’s hardly original,” he said.

“I thought it was,” Lana said.

“Actually, you may be the first to say ‘Amazing,’” the Doctor said.

“Good,” Lana said as SG-6 and Daniel Jackson followed her in.

“Here’s our plan, we will wait until the SGC dials P6Y-362, or as the natives call it, Tiloana. Then the TARDIS will follow the wormhole there,” the Doctor said.

“Not all the natives, just those on the main continent,” Lana said.

“Understood,” Colonel Francis Jameson, the commander of SG-6, said.

“Good to know,” Daniel said.

“Chevron Seven, Locked!” The Stargate opened with the usual kawoosh. The TARDIS then dematerialised.

The TARDIS in flight

The console room was shaking. “What’s wrong, Doctor?” Daniel asked.

“The Gate wormhole is interfering with the Vortex. But that can’t be possible!” the Doctor said.

“And yet it’s happening,” Captain Marcia Bates, SG-6’s scientist, said.

‘That’s impossible,’ the Doctor thought. “Right, unless you can use the gate to time travel...”

“Actually, it can,” Daniel said.

“Oh those arrogant Alterans!”

“Arrogant?” Daniel asked.

“That they would create a portal network that could go to any time period in it’s existence that could be used by anyone!” the Doctor said.

“But it’s not a normal function of the gate. It occurred as the result of the wormhole interacting with stellar flares,” Daniel said.

“Not that arrogant then, but their tech isn’t making it easy for Gallifreyian technology to track it. We’re still in the Solar System. At this rate we’ll reach Tiloana in just over three years.”

“Doctor, a Stargate wormhole can only stay open for a maximum time of 38 minutes!” Daniel said.

“That is a limitation. But we’d experience those 3 years within the 38 minutes that the wormhole would remain open. Remember that the TARDIS can travel in time, Doctor Jackson.”

“There has to be an alternative, Doctor! We can’t spend three years travelling in here. We’d go mad,” Jameson said.

“That’s where you’re wrong. There is more to the TARDIS than just this room. It’s so vast that it would take more than the 1100 days the journey would take to explore it all,” the Doctor said. He walked to Helena Lawson, SG-6’s archaeologist. “Imagine a library so vast it would take decades to read all the books. The TARDIS has it. However, it isn’t a given that it would take three years. I may figure out a way to clearly scan through the interference and make the journey go faster.”

He flicked a switch on the console. “There: I have established a spiralling Temporal Orbit around the wormhole, staying well within the 38 minute window.”

“What about food?” Marcia asked.

“The TARDIS can generate food indefinitely. There are gardens scattered throughout the ship,” the Doctor said.

“You heard him. We’ll start exploring the surrounds of the console room, now,” Jameson said.

“Yes, sir!” Marcia said.

As Jameson left the console room his team followed him. The Doctor got to work to try to scan through the interference given off by the Stargate.

“How does it work?” Lana asked. “That it is larger on the inside?”

The Doctor gave an exhasperated sigh. “It would be beyond your comprehension. You have to be a Time Lord to understand it all.”

“I doubt that,” Lana said.

“Much more advanced than the Ancients, Lana,” Daniel said.

“I can understand how the Stargate works, I should understand how the TARDIS works too.”

“Very logical,” the Doctor said. “But, the Stargate is a very simple system compared to the TARDIS!”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“You're not going to give the information at all, are you?” Lana asked in a disappointed tone.

“No.”

Lana sighed. 'There has to be a manual to this TARDIS somewhere aboard it,' she thought, as she left the console room. 'Maybe that library the Doctor mentioned.' She walked down the corridor...

After Lana left, the Doctor focused on the problem at hand. Why was it that the Stargate wormhole was interfering with the TARDIS's ability to track it? 'It's not like ancient Time Lord explorers had encountered the Alterans'.

Lana quickly found the library. She wondered why the TARDIS was so large inside. She saw that Marcia had got there first.

“Oh, Lana,” she said.

“Marcia. Found anything yet?”

“Not yet. The Doctor has a huge collection. A lot of it may not be from his version of Earth.”

Lana thought for a moment. “I suppose so, but it may be organised by planet of origin.”

“How do you organise information in your records halls?”

“By subject, not by village, or world of origin. But then, no Records Hall is as large as this.”

“I don't think any library on Earth is as big as this is either,” Marcia said.

“So, where do we start?”

“No idea.”

Daniel had remained in the console room. He looked at the console screen and saw a representation of the Stargate wormhole, but he didn't recognised much else. What writing there was seemed to be composed of circles. “Interesting writing system,” he commented.

“Circular Gallifreyian. The writing system of the Time Lords,” the Doctor responded.

“An interesting way of showing information.”

“But difficult for others to learn.”

“But not impossible,” Daniel said.

“Of course not.”

“Then you can teach me?”

“I can, but I'll be spending my time trying to shorten our trip.”

Daniel was disappointed. “I see. But you wouldn't be doing that all the time?”

The Doctor thought for a moment. “That's true.” He paused then said. “But not right now.”

“Of course not right now,” Daniel said. “But sometime soon?”

“Yes.”

Jamieson and his team entered one of the many lounges. “How big do you think this ship is?”

“I have no idea,” Helena said.

“It's certainly bigger than the Prometheus,” Captain Peter Jahns answered.

“That's true,” Helena said. “But we could ask the Doctor.”

“No,” Jamieson said.

“Why not?”

“We can find out ourselves.”

“Certainly, but it would be better to ask him,” Helena argued.

“No!”

“Yes, sir,” Helena said reluctantly.

It was quite later when Daniel entered the TARDIS kitchen. 'Surly a vessel this size would have a larger kitchen,' he mused. He saw that Helena and the Doctor were there already. “Hey, Daniel,” Helena said.

“Hi,” Daniel said.

Day 42

Daniel entered the TARDIS library. “Helena?” he called out.

Helena emerged from a nearby aisle. “Daniel?”

“The Doctor wants everyone in the Console room. He says it’s important.”

“I hope it’s a way to get to Tiloana quicker. As much as the TARDIS and this library are amazing, I don’t want to spend nearly three years here.”

“Same here,” Daniel said. They left the library.

“Amazing that our Earth and the Earth in his universe are so similar...”

The Doctor was waiting in the console room when Daniel, Lana and SG-6 entered the console room.

“What is this about? You have found a quicker way?” Jameson asked.

“Yes. I have found a way to take the TARDIS through the Stargate,” the Doctor said.

“That’s good, but we would have to return to Earth first, right?” Marcia asked.

“That’s true. It will take a month, or a few days less, to get back there. I’m just about to reverse course,” the Doctor said.

“But wouldn’t we crash into our previous selves?” Helena asked.

“I have taken that into consideration,” the Doctor said as he manipulated the console. The TARDIS lurched, sending the humans to the floor. “There, we’re on our way back to Earth.

“Great!” Daniel said as he pushed Lana off him. She flinched and shoved his hands away.

“I can get up myself, Daniel!”

“Sorry.”

‘They seem to be getting closer…’ Marcia thought.

With the TARDIS course changed, the Doctor soon shooed most of his (for now) companions out of the console room. He then continued to review the mission reports that he had purloined from the SGC computer system.

Marcia then went back to the Library. The history of Earth in the Doctor's universe seemed to be identical to hers until 2006, when an alien ship had crashed into the Elizabeth Tower at Westminster. (Of course, it was also referred to as a hoax, but she didn't believe that it was for a second. She was sure that the Doctor was involved somehow.) She entered the library and stopped.

The library was much like the corridors of the TARDIS outside, the shelves often moved between visits. This was just such a time. “You're making it difficult, aren't you?” she asked the ship, not for the first time. Again, there was no answer. 'Of course not!'

Daniel re entered the console room. “Doctor?”

“What is it?”

“We need to talk.”

“What about?”

“We haven't really planned for when we arrive on Tiloana,” Daniel said.

The Doctor sighed. “I usually work it out once I get there.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I find it easier to plan once I know the situation on the ground. When I'm experiencing the situation for myself.”

“Understandable, but one thing I have learned over the years, since the beginning of the Stargate Program is that it's best to have an initial plan, even if it changes once we're off world.”

The Doctor nodded. “Then my plan is to see what the situation is before I react.”

Daniel sighed. “Even when I worked as an archaeologist, I had to plan ahead, in case there were difficulties with the local authorities.”

“Of course,” the Doctor considered. “Even so, I need to situation on the ground.”

Daniel thought for a moment. “But Lana and I already know the situation on the ground.”

“That may be true,” the Doctor considered.

“So, we can plan.”

“Yes, we can plan,” the Doctor conceded.

“Then I'll find Lana,” Daniel said. He then left the Console Room.

Lana was in the Library. She still couldn't make sense of how the Doctor had organised it. Or maybe it was the TARDIS itself, she wasn't sure. She looked at the shelf where books on Gallifrey were filed next to those from several other planets. “It would take too long to reorganise it,” she said, likely to the TARDIS. 'What are these about again?' She had another look, and saw that one of the books was about one of Gallifrey's cities “Arcadia, the Second City of Gallifrey.”

She looked at another one, but then she heard someone enter the library. It was Daniel! “Daniel?” she asked as she went towards him.

“Lana.”

She listened as the Daniel told her about the conversation he had with the Doctor in the Console Room.

“Well, we can come back the way we came after we arrive.”

“That's obvious.”

The Doctor was still going over mission reports when Daniel and Lana returned to the Console Room. He sighed. “I don't suppose you have a map of the area on you?”

“I don't. But I know you copied files from the SGC computers,” Daniel answered.

“I suppose I can bring up the original report.”

“Good.”

A few moments later, the Doctor had brought up the report. “There we are.”

“Good,” Lana said.

They spent a while going over the maps.

Day 43

The Doctor looked over the maps again. The Priors could be anywhere. 'There would be guards at the 'Gate, but that would be a given,' he thought. Maybe Daniel would help again. He decided to go find Daniel.

Daniel was in the kitchen.

Day 65

The humans entered the Console Room as the TARDIS approached Earth.

“So what are we attempting again?” Jameson asked.

“We are going to materialise in the Gateroom and then go through the Stargate. We will then land somewhere safe on Tiloana,” the Doctor said.

“Sounds good,” Lana said.

“Everyone ready!” Jameson said. His team, Daniel and Lana each grabbed a hold of part of the console.

“Ready!” Lana said.

“Here we go,” the Doctor said. Everyone braced themselves.

The SGC

32 minutes after the Stargate was activated the TARDIS rematerialised and then took off and approached the Stargate.

“What?” Landry asked.

“Redirecting Artron Energy to the outer shell... now!” The Doctor than directed the TARDIS into the Stargate. “It’s going to get really bumpy!”

The TARDIS entered the Stargate, pushing the event horizon inwards, and then causing a reverberation, when it had entered. Then massive sparking, and electrical discharges occurred.

“Massive amounts of power...” Harriman said.

“Keep it open!” Landry ordered.

“The power grid can’t handle this much longer, the breakers are about to trip!”

“Understood,” Landry said.

The TARDIS

The TARDIS barrelled through the wormhole, keeping it wide enough to allow the police box shell through intact was a massive strain...

“This is taking a while!” Daniel said.

“How much longer?” Lana asked.

“A few more seconds!” the Doctor said, as he struggled with the console.

“Good,” Lana said.

Tiloana

The guards that the Priors had set to watch the Gate were confused. It had been open for over 30 minutes and yet nothing had come through. Suddenly the event horizon rippled in a weird manner and the TARDIS emerged from the Gate at great speed. They fired at the large blue projectile as the gate shut down, but their shots splashed harmlessly against the Extrapolator shield. The TARDIS continued on its way.

The TARDIS crash landed 10 kilometres from the gate.

The Doctor pulled Lana and Helena from the TARDIS which lay with the doors upwards. They then joined the others. “Right, you have any idea where Adria would have taken them?” the Doctor asked.

“They could be anywhere on this world, it’s been almost three hours, right?” Daniel asked.

“Yes,” the Doctor said.

“We better get moving. Can you get to where they were captured from here, Doctor Jackson?” Jameson asked.

“I think so,” Daniel said.

“Follow us,” Lana said.

After they helped the Doctor to set the TARDIS upright, they set off, despite the fact that the sun was setting.

* * *

Four hours later, they came to the site of the ambush. They could see no evidence of where the Priors may have taken the others.

“Well this has been a waste of time,” Daniel said.

“Not necessarily, they may be held back in N’b,” Lana said.

“That may be a wild goose chase,” Daniel said.

“Still worth a try!” Lana said.

“We can decide when the sun comes up. This is as good a spot to camp as any,” Jameson said.

“I agree,” the Doctor said.

12 Kalodar, 1027th year of Liberation (Ao Pliaalealan Calendar)

The Doctor and his group of temporary companions broke camp after a small breakfast.

“The village is less than an hour away,” Daniel said.

“Understood,” Jameson said.

The village was totally deserted. They had searched through and didn’t find any evidence that Adria or the Priors had been there.

They then headed in the direction of the TARDIS.

When they entered the TARDIS, the Doctor went to the console. “Ok, scanning for the Ori mothership.”

“Good,” Lana said.

“It took off six hours ago and headed into Hyperspace, towards the centre of the Galaxy,” the Doctor said.

“We’re too late then!” Jameson said.

“We’re never too late! I can still put the TARDIS aboard,” the Doctor said.

“Even whilst it’s travelling in Hyperspace?” Marcia asked.

“Oh, yes. Watch,” the Doctor said. He started to input coordinates into the console.

“This won’t take weeks too, will it?” Helena asked.

“No, ten minutes at most,” the Doctor said.

“That’s good,” Helena said.

“I agree,” Daniel said to Helena.

Ori Crusade Vessel Glorious Retribution

Adria knew something was amiss. “Scan the ship,” she said.

“Yes, Orici,” the Prior said. He repeated the order. One of his underlings then performed the scan.

The report soon came back. “There was a disturbance on deck 5. Getting a visual now.” An image of the TARDIS came up on the screen. The doors opened and Daniel Jackson lead a group of people out.

“Capture them!” She called out. “And that capsule that they have arrived in.”

“Yes, Orici.”

The Doctor locked the TARDIS and whipped out his sonic screwdriver. “I’m sure we have been detected. Security is on its way here,” he said.

“I know where the holding cells are, follow me,” Daniel said.

“Yes, Dr. Jackson,” Jameson said.

The team was halfway to the holding cells when they encountered resistance. They ducked into an adjoining corridor. “There has to be another way to get there,” the Doctor said. He used the sonic screwdriver to access a nearby computer panel.

“Orici, the intruders are accessing the computers. They’re bypassing the firewalls!” one of the bridge crew said.

“Location?”

“Deck 7, section 32.”

Adria stood up. “I’m going down there.”

“Yes, Orici.”

“Ok, there is an alternate route,” the Doctor said.

“Good,” Daniel said.

“Follow me,” the Doctor said. They quickly ran off as the security patrol arrived.

Before they reached the gangway the Doctor stopped. “Marcia, take Helena and Alyssa and go the alternative way. It is quite likely that Adria would focus on us,” he said.

Bates looked to Jameson. He nodded. She then signalled the other two members of the team and headed to the alternative route.

As they came down a gangway to Deck 8, Adria stepped into view. “Adria!” Daniel called out.

“I knew it was you, Doctor Jackson.”

��Let us go!” Lana called out. She stepped forwards, quarterstaff raised. Suddenly she rose up into the air.

“You impertinent child, your world will bow to Origin!”

“So, there are still forces of yours there. But we’re very resourceful!”

“Yes, I have seen. 10% of your nation’s settlements have been abandoned. However that strategy will not work forever. We’ll take your entire planet.”

“You won’t!”

“Yes, we will. We’ll also find your offworld colonies.”

“You will not! We’ll go from world to world...” Lana trailed off as Adria increased pressure around her neck.

“Let her go, Adria!” Daniel said.

“I will!” Adria said. Lana fell with the Doctor catching her.

“Out of our way!” Jameson said as he pointed his P-90 at Adria.

“That’s not going to work,” the Doctor said. Adria glared at Jameson ‘pushing’ him up the gangway with great force.

“That won’t work with me. Let us rescue SG-1, or face my wrath!” the Doctor said.

“Ah-yes, you’re the visitor from another universe. My soldiers are attempting to gain entry to your interesting vessel as we speak.”

“What do you know about it?” the Doctor asked.

“Let’s see. I know that the exterior is some kind of illusion. It’s also obvious that the interior is larger than the size of that exterior would suggest...”

‘She definitely knows too much,’ Daniel thought.

“You won’t gain access to it!” the Doctor said.

“Oh we will. I can guarantee it,” Adria said.

“Free SG1, or I’ll send this ship on a long journey back to your home galaxy,” the Doctor said.

“I’m sure that you could,” Adria said.

“Free SG1!” the Doctor deadpanned.

“No!” Adria said. She ‘pushed’ the Doctor as she did with Lana and Jameson. However, the Doctor didn’t move very far.

“Not a good idea, using telekinesis on a person such as myself!” the Doctor said.

“Yes, I see that you have similar powers,” Adria said.

“Yes,” the Doctor said.

Whilst the Doctor was confronting Adria, Bates, Lawson and Wells approached the holding cells. There were hardly any guards, they were distracted by the confrontation.

Wells rolled a Goa’uld stun grenade into the holding cell area. When the weapon had taken effect they went into the area. “About time,” Cameron said.

“Took a while for Doctor Jackson and Lana to get back to the SGC, and even longer for us to realize that you were aboard this ship,” Marcia said.

“I see, let us out of here!” Felicia said.

“Getting to it!” Lawson said. After a few seconds the forcefield went down.

“Adria probably already knows, let’s go,” Marcia said.

“Right behind you,” Carter said.

Adria became aware that SG1 and the companions were freed. “They have been freed. They won’t remain so for long!”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” the Doctor said.

“I don’t think so,” Adria said, she was struggling to hold the Doctor in place.

“Give up!”

SG-6, SG-1 and the companions approached the TARDIS. It was surrounded. “There goes that plan,” Vala said.

“No, we have more stun grenades,” Wells said. She rolled another of the stun grenades. It had same effect as the other one. They then walked up to the TARDIS. Lawson unlocked the TARDIS.

“What now?” Felicia asked as she locked the TARDIS door.

“We’ll wait for the Doctor,” Marcia said.

“That could take a while,” Kiara said.

“It could...”

“Orici,” a soldier said.

“What?” Adria asked, her eyes still on the Doctor.

“The guards around the strange box have been neutralized!”

“Send more guards,” she said.

The Doctor smiled and held up his sonic screwdriver. “Around me!” he said. Lana, Daniel and Francis crowded around him. He activated the sonic screwdriver. The sound of the TARDIS engines could then be heard. “No!” Adria called out. She dashed into the space next to the Doctor and the others...

The TARDIS engines started. “He’s calling the ship to him! That’s cool,” Cameron said.

“He does it a lot,” Tamsin said.

“OK,” Sam said.

Then the Doctor and the others, including Adria, started to appear next to the console…

“Uh-oh!” Cameron said.

The TARDIS then landed, bringing the Doctor, Lana, Daniel, Jameson and Adria fully into the console room.

Adria wasn’t shocked by the size of the console room. “You just made a mistake, Doctor. I’ll be able to figure out how this ship of yours works, and then I’ll spread Origin through time itself!”

“I don’t doubt that,” the Doctor began.

“Then you’ve lost!” Adria interrupted.

“To figure it out, you will have to stay in the TARDIS long enough to do so,” the Doctor said.

“You can’t force me to leave, Doctor!”

“I can,” the Doctor said. He clicked his fingers, and the doors opened. “Kiara.”

Kiara looked at Adria. Suddenly a gust came up in the console room and started blowing against Adria. “You have to do better than that!” Adria said.

“Chill,” Kiara said.

Adria started freezing, but with a sudden burst of heat, she overcame Kiara’s chill effect. “Nice try, but you have to do better!”

“Leave this TARDIS!” Cameron said.

“I will, once I know enough to build one for the Ori,” Adria said.

Cameron signalled and both SG teams rushed at Adria. Adria easily pushed them all to the side of the console room. “It’s not working,” Felicia said.

“Hold on!” the Doctor said. He pulled a series of levers on the console. The TARDIS took off in normal space, moving sideways through the corridor. Adria fell over towards the doors, but she stayed in the TARDIS.

“There has to be something in the TARDIS that can help against her,” Felicia said.

“Many things, but there may not be enough time to find any of the items in time,” the Doctor said.

“We could look for them,” Helena said.

“We investigated a lot of the ship during those weeks,” Daniel said.

“Go, quickly!” the Doctor said. As they left the console room, he spun the TARDIS around, and slammed it into a wall...

Adria fell towards the door, but she remained in the TARDIS. She stared at the Doctor. “I can keep this up all day, Doctor. Can you?”

“Yes.”

Helena and Daniel quickly found the library. “That was quick,” Helena said.

“The TARDIS is probably helping us,” Daniel said.

“Yeah.”

They quickly found the Doctor’s (incomplete) inventory of artifacts. “This will take a while,” Daniel said as he got the rather large tome off the shelf.

“Let’s get started.”

Back in the console room, Adria was still stubbornly remaining in the TARDIS. Kiara had tried encasing her in ice, but that didn’t work.

The battle continued...

About ten minutes later, Daniel found something of use in the Doctor’s artefact inventory...

“Here it is. ‘A device to neutralise telekinetic activity: it plugs into the console for specific control,’” Daniel said.

“That would certainly be useful,” Helena said.

“Certainly,” Daniel said.

“Does it say where it is?” Helena asked.

“Rather cryptically; ‘Go to the far side of the library, then turn to the left. Go up three levels and solve the riddle. Go through and walk for a minute. Open the cupboard and climb up ten shelves on the right side half way in. It’s near the back.’”

“That is cryptic.”

“I’ll write it down.”

“Good.”

After Daniel had written the directions down, he and Helena headed deeper into the library…

Adria continued to try to pry the TARDIS’s secrets. However, the Doctor, and the TARDIS herself continued to rebuff her efforts.

‘Now, the scanner has to be connected to the main systems...

’It took six minutes for Daniel and Helena to cross the library. It took them another half a minute to find the stairs. Once at the third level they found a door with a jumbled up picture on it. “That’s the riddle? This is going to take forever!” Helena complained.

“We have to do it,” Daniel said.

“I know,” Helena said.

“I think we have to reconstruct the picture.”

“I concur.” They started their attempt to solve the riddle by sliding the pieces of the picture around.

Back in the console room the companions and SGC personnel were attempting to shove Adria out of the TARDIS doors, with the assistance of the Doctor and Kiara’s telekinetic powers. “This isn’t working! We need another plan,” Cameron said.

“Indeed,” Teal’c remarked. “But there isn’t much other choice.”

“We just need to give Daniel and Helena time to retrieve one of those devices,” the Doctor said.

“They won’t succeed! I have already gained some information,” Adria said.

“But not much,” the Doctor responded.

“I know the fate of your civilisation,” Adria taunted.

“Then be thankful that you won’t have to face anything like that!” the Doctor returned.

“The Ori have no reason to fear the Daleks!” Adria shot back.

“Not just the Daleks,” the Doctor said darkly. “But the things that the War brought forth,” the Doctor said. He thought of the Nightmare King with a shudder, Adria just stared at him.

Helena and Daniel solved the door riddle after six minutes. The door opened revealing a dark corridor. “Walk for a minute, that doesn’t make sense,” Helena said.

“I guess we have to walk along the corridor for a minute.”

“Only one way to find out.”

They started walking.

A minute after they started walking, the cupboard appeared right in front of them. “Climb up ten shelves on the right side halfway, it’s near the back,” Daniel read.

“Right, I’ll climb up,” Helena said. She then climbed up the ladder that was at the position.

Helena climbed down with a small device in her hand. “That’s it? It looks small,” Daniel stated.

“It was the only thing in the position described,” Helena said.

“Right,” Daniel said. They turned to go out of the cupboard and found that it now led back to the stairs rather than the corridor. “That’s convenient,” Daniel remarked.

Back at the console room, most of the people, except the Doctor and Teal’c were tiring. Adria was glaring at the Doctor over the console as Teal’c spared against her.

It took another five minutes for Daniel and Helena to recross the library, and three more for them to return to the console room. “Doctor!” Helena called.

The Doctor left the console where Teal’c and Kiara were sparing with Adria and ran to the door. “You have it?” he asked quickly.

“Yes,” Helena placed the device in the Doctor’s hand.

“Thanks,” the Doctor dashed back to the console whilst Adria was still distracted by the Jaffa and the Tyrian.

However, Adria knew something was up. “You can’t stop me with a device!” she said as the Doctor inserted it into a port in the console.

“Yes. I can,” he said. He started manipulating the console. When he finished, he stared at Adria in the eyes. “Leave. My. TARDIS!” He pressed a final button, and Adria flew out of the TARDIS. He then closed the doors with a click of his fingers.

“That was close!” Tamsin said.

“What now?” Cameron asked, panting.

“Now, we go back to Tiloana. And then through the Stargate,” the Doctor said as he laid in a course back to that planet.

#adria #cameron mitchell #daniel jackson #doctor who #fan fiction #hank landry #sam carter #sg1 #stargate #teal'c #twelfth doctor #vala mal doran #walter harriman

1 note · View note

tobns · 6 years

Text

@alexanderludwig: can’t believe we’re gonna be starting 2018 without queen latifah #rip

@jackie_emerson: what in the fresh hell are you talking about

@isabellefuhrman: ????????????

@alexanderludwig: @jackie_emerson queen latifah died

@amandlastenberg: uh, no she didn’t

@alexanderludwig: @amandlastenberg yes she did look it up

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludiwg WE DON’T NEED TO LOOK IT UP

@dayookeniyi: god i hate white people

@jackquaid92: you know, the last 2 years have been so peaceful without getting a single notification from twitter on december 31…one of you please tell me why in the hell we’re descending back into this ridiculousness

@amandlastenberg: once the annoying orange became president, all bets were off

@willowshields: believe me, my life was going so well without one of these sucking up all of my data, so i don’t know why we’ve all of a sudden decided to breathe life back into this dead tradition

@jackie_emerson: as with everything in life, i blame @alexanderludwig and his inability to not believe everything he reads on the internet

@alexanderludwig: IT’S NOT MY FAULT QUEEN LATIFAH DIED

@jackie_emerson: SHE IS NOT DEAD YOU IMBECILE

@jhutch1992: long time, no see twitterverse

@jackquaid92: WHY ARE WE STARTING THIS SHIT AGAIN

@jhutch1992: @jackquaid92 dude calm ur tits, i legit just back got into my twitter account

@jackie_emerson: …then who in the fuck has been tweeting for you

@amandlastenberg: hey josh’s publicist!!! hows it going? pls tell josh he owes me 300 bucks okay thank u :)

@jhutch1992: @amandlastenberg it’s actually me this time, and you will get a nickel out of me when i’m dead

@amandlastenberg: @jhutch1992 don’t speak too soon, bc that can be arranged

@alexanderludwig: @jackie_emerson https://bit.ly/lu43t0 this is the article that confirms queen latifah’s death ill wait for my apology

@jackie_emerson: who’s sat scores did you steal in order to get into usc

@willowshields: i have met hardwood floors smarter than you

@jhutch1992: guess it’s time to log back off of twitter for forever!!

@isabellefuhrman: everyone who says you have no talent is completely wrong

@alexanderludwig: @isabellefuhrman aw thanks izzy <3

@isabellefuhrman: bc it’s truly talent, being THAT stupid

@alexanderludwig: @isabellefuhrman HE Y

@jackie_emerson: ALSO I WILL APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING

@isabellefuhrman: last nye w/out alcohol #21hereicome

@amandlastenberg: yeah ok

@jackie_emerson: i can see the champagne glass in your hand from here, and i don’t even think we’re in the same time zone

@dayookeniyi: illegal alcohol, maybe

@isabellefuhrman: ok why are you all treating me like i’m ludwig

@alexanderludwig: not much fun is it, being the punching bag of the bunch, huh @isabellefurman

@willowshields: @alexanderludwig you misspelled isabelle’s last name u dumb fuck

@alexanderludwig: @willowshields EXCUSE ME WATCH UR PROFANITIY

@jackquaid92: while i’m not surprised none of u thg fuckers have lives to tend to instead of tweeting all the livelong night, but i on the other hand DO so peace out #livefromvegas

@jackie_emerson: i didn’t know you renamed your living room ‘vegas’

@jackquaid92: @jackie_emerson YOU ARE RUDE

@amandlastenberg: there is nothing for you in vegas aside from a lifelong gambling problem, why are you there

@jackquaid92: @amandlastenberg wow you are not ready to hear about this thing called a britney spears residency

@jhutch1992: @britneyspears run

@jackquaid92: @jhutch1992 i liked you better when your publicist tweeted from your account

@dayookeniyi: can we re-ring in 2012 instead of 2018? asking for a friend

@amandlastenberg: why, so @willowshields and i will be back to being 10 again??

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg actually so obama will be back to being our president but THAT IS A VERY VALID POINT

@willowshields: it’s so he can take a few steps back from being a literal grandpa

@dayookeniyi: I’M ALMOST 30 NOT 300

@amandlastenberg: i see no difference

@jhutch1992: ok but why do we never drag @levenrambin into our twitter holiday dumpster fires like…she’s on here too

@jackie_emerson: just like you can’t work a remote, lev can’t work twitter aside from hitting the retweet button

@willowshields: she disassociates herself from us, like ludwig did that time in an interview

@alexanderludwig: @willowshields hey i apologized for that

@jackquaid92: @alexanderludwig @willowshields yes, and you could have spent more than $2 on an apology fruit basket, those berries were weak

@isabellefuhrman: i’m sorry @jackquaid92 i thought you were too busy with britney to tweet

@jackquaid92: @isabellefuhrman ….i am, it’s my publicist tweeting for me

@amandlastenberg: @jackquaid92 YEAH RIGHT

@jackie_emerson: just like you can’t work a remote, lev can’t work twitter aside from hitting the retweet button (RETWEETED BY @levenrambin)

@willowshields: it’s been 5 years WHY CAN I NOT FIND ANY DIFFERENT FRIENDS ASIDE FROM YOU PEOPLE

@isabellefuhrman: you’re never getting rid of us

@amandlastenberg: all the old goons are like barnacles

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU’RE CALLING AN OLD GOON BUT YOU BETTER WATCH IT

@amandlastenberg: @dayookeniyi or what? you gonna whack me with your cane? run me over with your walker?

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg i am two steps away from blocking you, calling your mother, and summoning my fairy godmother to turn you back to an eleven year old

@alexanderludwig: cant wait to liv it up tonite

@jackie_emerson: die

@isabellefuhrman: no one cares

@amandlastenberg: stop trying to revive liv it up it died before it even began

@alexanderludwig: @amandlastenberg liv it up deserved a grammy

@amandlastenberg: @alexanderludwig if liv it up deserved a grammy, then @jackquaid92 playing the recorder deserved to be our national anthem

@alexanderludwig: @amandlastenberg: i see nothing wrong with this logic

@amandlastenberg: if any of my neighbors are reading this – i hate u and i hope the cops show up to arrest you not for being too fucking loud, but for making it sound like pitbull is playing an outdoor concert on your patio

@willowshields: …why don’t YOU just call the cops on them

@alexanderludwig: what do you have against pitbull

@jackquaid92: and yet, you people wonder why others find us judgmental

@dayookeniyi: WHO’S THE OLD GOON NOW, COMPLAINING ABOUT THE VOLUME LEVELS

@amandlastenberg: @dayookeniyi go back to a) knitting your sweaters and b) minding your own business

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg you just wait until you hit your late 20s and all you want to do is tactile things, you’ll be singing a different tune then

@jackie_emerson: nothing screams quality nye party like frolicking on the beach and throwing all of the stupid shit 2017 gave me out into the ocean

@amandlastenberg: pls don’t get eaten by a shark

@isabellefuhrman: @amandlastenberg i wouldn’t worry, the shark would bring her back

@alexanderludwig: you’re stupid for going out in the ocean when it isn’t shark week, emerson

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig i know damn well YOU aren’t calling ME stupid

@alexanderludwig: shark week is the only safe time to get in the water, since all the sharks are busy being on tv

@willowshields: i can feel my brain cells dying the longer i keep this app open

@isabellefuhrman: for any of you who actually bought that whole bit about @jackquaid92 being #liveatvegas …have i got news for u ;) #EXPOSED pic.twitter.com/j7skao2lm

@jackquaid92: WHAT THE FUCK ISABELLE

@jackie_emerson: MY EYES I’M BLIND

@amandlastenberg: @jackie_emerson suuuuuuure you are ;)

@amandlastenberg: ALSO WHY ARE YOU TWO TOGETHER

@jhutch1992: part of me doesn’t want to know….but part of me does want to know where you got ahold of that seashell bra

@isabellefuhrman: @jackquaid92 what, merquaid??? just figured everyone would want to be part of your world this evening

@jackquaid92: @isabellefuhrman you are STILL EVIL IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS

@amandlastenberg: not that i’m surprised you assholes are keeping secrets ONCE A-FUCKING-GAIN, but i never thought i’d live to see the day when jackabelle was the only thg ship that sailed

@isabellefuhrman WHAT

@jackquaid92: WH A T

@willowshields: oh how we (and the shippers) were wrong

@alexanderludwig: AMANDLA STENBERG IDK WHAT JACKABELLE IS BUT FOR YOUR SAKE IT BETTER BE SOME MAJESTICAL WILDLIFE ANIMAL THAT LIVES IN THE OUTBACK OF AUSTRALIA

@amandlastenberg: @alexanderludwig listen you don’t get to be sad jack made a move first, mister ‘all i date is discount isabelles’

@jhutch1992: #highlightsof2017 @amandlastenberg outing @alexanderludwig ‘s type for all of twitter to see

@alexanderludwig: I DO NOT HAVE A TYPE

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig HOW DUMB ARE YOU

@isabellefuhrman: i am blocking all of you numskulls

@amandlastenberg: @isabellefuhrman who are you calling a numskull #mrsplebeian

@willowshields: @amandlastenberg @isabellefuhrman HOLY SHIT DID U JUST GO WHERE I THINK U WENT

@isabellefuhrman: @amandlastenberg BLOCKED

@isabellefuhrman: @amandlastenberg AND I AM NEVER TELLING YOU ANYTHING EVER AGAIN

@jackquaid92: @willowshields STOP CALLING ME

@willowshields: NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER AND TELL ME WHEN YOU AND ISABELLE STARTED DATING

@isabellefuhrman: @willowshields WE ARE NOT DATING

@jhutch1992: @isabellefuhrman no guy willingly wears a seashell bra and red wig for a picture that isn’t being taken by their girlfriend

@willowshields: @jhutch1992 for the first time in your life, you have made sense

@isabellefuhrman: today’s word of the day is BLOCKED!! here it is in a sentence: all of my thg costars are getting BLOCKED

@jackie_emerson: excuse me i’ll have you know i did nothing to perpetuate this jackabelle insanity

@amandlastenberg: i’d love to see you try

@willowshields: who’s gonna help you block us, @jhutch1992

@jhutch1992: @willowshields i see what you did there and i do not appreciate it

@alexanderludwig: pls don’t block me

@isabellefuhrman: @alexanderludwig ……..

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig SHE’S HAD YOU BLOCKED SINCE 2013

@dayookeniyi: almost 2018 and the hunger games relationship disaster is STILL plaguing my life

@amandlastenberg: you’re just jealous that no one shipped you with anyone

@jackquaid92: wanna trade places?????

@dayookeniyi: @jackquaid92 no thanks, especially seeing as how ludwig’s probably gonna show up on your front door within the hour to pummel you for going after his girl

@alexanderludwig: #wolfpackcode

@jackquaid92: OKAY FIRST OF ALL YOU BETTER DELETE THIS SUBTWEET BULLSHIT BECAUSE I AM NOT DATING ISABELLE AND EVEN IF I WAS, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT YOU HAD T H R E E YEARS TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU’RE A MORON WHO WOULD RATHER DATE A LOOKALIKE (WHICH WE ALL NOTICE BTW) THAN ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS

@amandlastenberg: for my birthday, all i want is for someone to print @jackquaid92 ‘s reply and @jackie_emerson ‘s og snapping on ludwig tweet and frame them

@jhutch1992: wait since when did we have a code???????

@dayookeniyi: ……who is we

@jhutch1992: @dayookeniyi YOU BETTER CALL ME

@jackie_emerson: one year, we can’t have ONE YEAR WHERE NOTHING STUPID HAPPENS

@willowshields: you had two of them, clearly you took them for granted

@jackie_emerson: @willowshields if only you and amandla had like, a half an ounce of chill, i would not have to play the role of the bomb squad

@amandlastenberg: @jackie_emerson @willowshields THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT INCLUDING US

@alexanderludwig: @amandlastenberg YOU GET INCLUDED WAAAAAY MORE THAN I DO

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig YES AND THAT IS FOR A R E A S O N

@jackquaid92: new year’s resolution: hire a publicist to run my twitter for me

@jhutch1992: dude you really should, best decision i ever made

@dayookeniyi: what, and miss out on these beautiful little breaks in sanity?????? why would you ever wanna do that

@jackquaid92: @dayookeniyi might i redirect you to like, the last half hour of my twitter timeline

@amandlastenberg: in 2018 yall WILL ADD ME AND WILLOW TO WHATEVER LITTLE SECRET GROUP CHAT YOU HAVE GOING ON

@jackie_emerson: the only thing i have to do in life is die

@amandlastenberg: @jackie_emerson keep it up and it will be by my hand

@dayookeniyi: we don’t have a group chat

@isabellefuhrman: @dayookeniyi or you’re just not in it

@dayookeniyi: @isabellefuhrman EXCUSE ME YOU BETTER GET TO ADDING ME

@amandlastenberg: @isabellefuhrman i swear to god if you add dayo before me i will show up at your house

@isabellefuhrman: @amandlastenberg i mean, my house has become thg cast central this evening against my will anyways so what’s one more person

@madelinefuhrman: @alexanderludwig i can see your car parked outside my window so i’m just gonna go ahead and save you the trouble – go home

@alexanderludwig: WAIT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AT HOME I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN PARIS

@madelinefuhrman: @alexanderludwig 2017’s just been a year of disappointments, hasn’t it

@willowshields: how is it that we all just magically happen to be in the same zip code whenever we go on one of these twitter tirades

@jhutch1992: and i’m always not

@amandlastenberg: @jhutch1992 you’re rich, hop on a plane and fly out here

@jackie_emerson: i mean, i always try to not be anywhere near you people during the holiday season but the universe hates me

@isabellefuhrman: @jackie_emerson says the girl who texted me yesterday begging me to cancel all my plans so we could hang out

@isabellefuhrman: in 2018 i’m going to chase after my newest career goal: professional receipt collector and exposer

@dayookeniyi: does that mean your athlete phase has finally ended???? thank jesus

@jackquaid92: @dayookeniyi i still think nike mistook her for the OTHER, actually athletic isabelle fuhrman in existence

@isabellefuhrman: @jackquaid92 @dayookeniyi we’ll see who gets the last laugh, tweedledumb and tweedledumber

@jackie_emerson: exposer is not a word, isabelle, stop trying to imitate your one true love

@willowshields: @jackie_emerson NOW WOULD BE A REALLY GREAT TIME TO ADD ME AND AMANDLA TO THE GROUP CHAT SO WE CAN FIND OUT WHO THIS IS ABOUT

@isabellefuhrman: i have dirt on ALL OF YOU i might as well be the key-keeper of the fucking thg cast secrets

@amandlastenberg: @isabellefuhrman lemme stop you RIGHT THERE BC YOU KNOW GOOD AND WELL THAT YOU AREN’T THE ONE THAT HACKED INTO TRAFFIC CAMS TO SPY ON LUDWIG WITH ONE OF HIS WALMART BRAND ISABELLES SO GET BACK TO RUNNING LAPS, FORREST

@dayookeniyi: @isabellefuhrman is not cut out to be an athlete in any form – a thread

@dayookeniyi: exhibit a) the infamous platform incident where we were all convinced she was dead and we’d have to recast the role of clove (and thus introduce alexander to his first knockoff isabelle)

@jackie_emerson: I’M INTERRUPTING THE THREAD TO CONTRIBUTE and remind everyone of when isabelle tripped over the fucking LEVEL SIDEWALK AND SPRAINED HER ANKLE

@jackquaid92: isabelle gave herself a black eye opening my freezer

@amandlastenberg: isabelle fell through the pool ladder at my fourth of july pool party and had bruises all over the insides of her legs for 3 weeks

@alexanderludwig: once during filming isabelle was in my room and walked smack into the balcony door and i thought she’d broken her nose

@jhutch1992: ooh on the mall tour isabelle sliced her thumb wide open trying to tear off a piece of scotch tape

@isabellefuhrman: all of you are going to begin 2018 in this wonderful land called my blocked list

@alexanderludwig: SOS

@jackquaid92: told u not to follow jackie into the closet

@amandlastenberg: I AM DRIVING 30 MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT TO GET TO ISABELLE’S AS FAST AS I CAN SO HOLD OFF ON ANY DEVELOPMENTS IN THIS GAME OF 7 MINUTES OF HEAVEN

@willowshields: it’s true she’s driving like we’re auditioning for fast and the furious 9

@alexanderludwig: @amandlastenberg this is not seven minutes in heaven belieb me it’s seven minutes in heLL

@dayookeniyi: @alexanderludwig did you just type ‘belieb’

@alexanderludwig: @dayookeniyi autocorrect

@amandlastenberg: @alexanderludwig WHY IS THAT SOMETHING YOUR PHONE WOULD AUTOCORRECT A WORD TO

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig GET OFF YOUR PHONE BEFORE I THROW IT INTO THE OCEAN

@jackquaid92: the worst thing to ever happen in 2017 was for twitter to give all of you nimrods 280 characters

@isabellefuhrman: says the guy who just got done using all 280 to roast alexander like a marshmallow

@jackie_emerson: LIKE YOU DON’T TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF SQUEEZING IN EVERY LAST CHARACTER TO COMPLETE THE BRITNEY LYRIC

@willowshields: in dark times like these, twitter needs as much of our fuckery as they can get

@alexanderludwig: if trump, the least deserving person ever, gets 280 characters, THEN SO DO I

@amandlastenberg: alright which one of you motherfuckers called the cops on me and willow

@jhutch1992: don’t look at me i’m busy freezing my ass off in kentucky and trying to set up this roku

@alexanderludwig: wasn’t me, i’m busy being INTERROGATED BY JACKIE WHO HAS APPARENTLY JOINED THE FBI SINCE WE LAST SAW HER

@dayookeniyi: i just learned how to dial 911 in this country like, 7 months ago so count me out

@jackie_emerson: what excuse did you use on them??? ‘sorry i was speeding officer, my ships from 2012 were on the verge of sinking’

@jackquaid92: consider this payback for starting jackabelle

@jhutch1992: have any of my followers/thg costars set up a roku tv and can give me advice

@dayookeniyi: advice: give up now

@isabellefuhrman: use your roku as a coaster

@jackie_emerson: who at best buy talked you into buying one of those like did they not know you were technologically inept the minute you walked through the wrong set of automatic doors

@amandlastenberg: call the lapd and tell them officer chad wrongfully accused me of about 20 different traffic violations

@willowshields: put it back in the box and send it to me, where it will actually see use

@jackquaid92: still trying to decipher if this is josh or josh’s publicist….

@jhutch1992: and the award for the least helpful people on the planet goes TO

@jackquaid92: @jhutch1992 yep this is definitely josh

@isabellefuhrman: @jackie_emerson you have 46 seconds to get the fuck out of my closet before i come in there and drag you out by the hair

@jackie_emerson: i’m trying to jumpstart your love life okay hold your fucking horses

@amandlastenberg: I AM COMING AS FAST AS I CAN @jackie_emerson HOLD THE FORT DOWN AND MAKE SURE JACK DOESN’T CALL THE COPS ON ME FOR SPEEDING YET AGAIN

@isabellefuhrman: @madelinefuhrman please come out of your room and literally kick everyone out i’m going crazy

@madelinefuhrman: @isabellefuhrman you had your chance to lose touch with them years ago, time for you to make your bed and lie in it sis

@willowshields: things i need to happen in 2018 – for the traffic court to take away @amandlastenberg ‘s license

@amandlastenberg: don’t you even START

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg DON’T TWEET AND DRIVE

@amandlastenberg: @dayookeniyi THEN TELL THE OTHER FUCKERS AT ISABELLE’S TO SIT DOWN, TURN ON HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, AND WAIT UNTIL I GET THERE BEFORE THEY START DOING THINGS

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg they listen to me as well as they do to you: not at all

@alexanderludwig: i wish i was @levenrambin right about now – not involved in this mess, probly enjoying my new years eve, living without the knowledge of what the back of @isabellefuhrman ‘s closet looks like

@isabellefuhrman: YOU WHAT NOW

@amandlastenberg: MY FOOT OF LEAD IS ONLY SO HEAVY

@jackie_emerson: you’ll thank me later ludwig

@alexanderludwig: @jackie_emerson i can’t thank anyone who doesn’t have respect for the dead

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig IF YOU SUGGEST QUEEN LATIFAH IS DEAD ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I AM HEAVE-HOING YOU OUT THE DAMN THIRD STORY WINDOW

@jackquaid92: HANNAH MONTANA MARATHONNNNNNNN!!!!!

@dayookeniyi: we have descended into hell

@willowshields: @amandlastenberg pls turn the car around i suddenly want to go home

@isabellefuhrman: IF YOU BREAK MY COUCH TRYING TO REENACT THE PUMPIN UP THE PARTY PERFORMANCE I WILL KILL YOU

@jhutch1992: are there any subliminal messages in the hannah montana soundtrack about how to properly set up a roku tv without using the usb cord to gouge out one’s eyes

@jackie_emerson: @jackquaid92 serenading me with ‘if we were a movie’ is not the way to my heart

@amandlastenberg: @jackquaid92 STOP IT RIGHT NOW YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO MAKE A MOVE ON HER UNTIL I GET THERE AND CAN RECORD IT FOR THE LAST LITTLE CULT OF TUMBLR FANS OUT THERE

@isabellefuhrman: #jacquelackFOREVAAAAAAA

@dayookeniyi: dude don’t disrespect corbin bleu like that

@jackie_emerson: @dayookeniyi for someone who’s SOOOOOO opposed to this hannah montana marathon, you sure do have a vast hm knowledge

@dayookeniyi: @jackie_emerson listen we only got like….5 channels back in the day and one of them happened to be the disney channel, i’ve lived through more hannah than i care to admit; i could bust out into the nobody’s perfect dance right here and now but I’M NOT

@willowshields: you guys are like in the same room….WHY ARE YOU TWEETING EACH OTHER

@jhutch1992: why do people in my family BUY ME GIFTS THAT REQUIRE COMMON SENSE WHEN IT COMES TO TECHNOLOGY

@jackie_emerson: you barely have common sense period

@isabellefuhrman: there’s this magical thing called youtube that might be of use

@amandlastenberg: @isabellefuhrman please like he knows how to work a web browser

@dayookeniyi: @amandlastenberg IF YOU DON’T STOP TWEETING AND DRIVING I WILL CALL THE LAPD

@jackquaid92: go cry about it into your tissues made of 20 dollar bills and tell someone who CARES

@alexanderludwig: for a moment, i thought the word box was spelled b-o-c-k-s

@willowshields: WE ALMOST DIED BECAUSE AMANDLA’S CAR READ THIS OUT LOUD TO US AND SHE SWERVED TO RUN US INTO A PALM TREE BC OF HOW DONE SHE IS W YOU

@isabellefuhrman: DID MY CLOSET SCAR YOU THAT BADLY

@jackie_emerson: sometimes i wonder how hard you were thrown at a brick wall when you were a child in order for these to be the results twenty something years later

@dayookeniyi: ………..just HOW much marijuana did you smoke before arriving

@alexanderludwig: @willowshields @isabellefuhrman @jackie_emerson @dayookeniyi oh come on like you people haven’t had moments like this

@jackie_emerson: @alexanderludwig WE HAVEN’T

@amandlastenberg: somehow we have run into nye traffic even though we’re headed in the opposite direction of downtown…is everyone trying to get to isabelle’s house or something this evening

@jackquaid92: i’m sensing passive-aggressiveness

@amandlastenberg: @jackquaid92 NO SHIT

@isabellefuhrman: maybe it’s just a sign that you’re not meant to ever experience a nye with us

@amandlastenberg: @isabellefuhrman you will take that back or else i will drive my car right into your living room

@isabellefuhrman: @amandlastenberg assuming you ever get here, that is

@jackie_emerson: the devil works, but la party-goers work harder

@dayookeniyi: @elinafuhrman is the best cook on the face of this planet

@isabellefuhrman: it takes one housewife to know another

@alexanderludwig: if you schmooze your way into getting that last vegan brownie imma wake up madeline and set her on your ass

@amandlastenberg: i’m going to take this as a sign that things have gone back to being uneventful as i requested so thank u dear idiots you all get gold star stickers when i get there

@jackie_emerson: @amandlastenberg *if, not when

@willowshields: can someone please come pick me up i’m on a road somewhere near isabelle’s house and amandla is 3 seconds away from a meltdown

@jackquaid92: this is karma for the jackabelle thing

@amandlastenberg: @jackquaid92 I am coming for your ass.

@dayookeniyi: @jackquaid92 @amandlastenberg dude she used proper capitalization and punctuation you better leave now while you still have a chance

@isabellefuhrman: #champagnefordaysssss

@jackquaid92: what happened to this being the last nye without alcohol?????

@amandlastenberg: keep on drinking your champagne girly, means that the hard stuff gets saved for me and by jove i’m gonna need it

@alexanderludwig: SHARE

@jackie_emerson: keep the alcohol away from ludwig’s grubby paws the last thing we need is him getting drunk and writing the 2018 follow up to liv it up

@jhutch1992: IT’S NEW YEARS HERE IN KENTUCKY HAPPY NEW YEARS AND MAY 2018 BE THE YEAR I FINALLY COMPREHEND MODERN TECHNOLOGY

@alexanderludwig: WAIT IT’S NEW YEARS THERE

@jackquaid92: what’s the sound situation down there?

@jhutch1992: @jackquaid92 sounds like the revolutionary war is occurring right outside my window BUT IT’S OKAY BC IT’S 2018

@jackie_emerson: your idea of modern technology is a toaster

@amandlastenberg: HAPPY NEW YEAR THANKS FOR BEING THE MOST BORING, UNEVENTFUL FRIEND I HAVE

@jhutch1992: @amandlastenberg THANK YOU

@jhutch1992: @amandlastenberg: HEY WAIT A SECOND

@jackquaid92: is it too late to ask for things i want for christmas bc i need life alert right about now

@jackie_emerson: you and me both

@willowshields: amandla wants to know what happened and so do i (but i’m not gonna tell amandla until traffic starts moving because i’m actually afraid for my life)

@dayookeniyi: @elinafuhrman where do you keep your bleach

@alexanderludwig: it’s midnight somewhere ;)

@jackie_emerson: and it’s 2017 here which means i’ve still got time to leave you behind

@amandlastenberg: ELABORATE PLEASE

@isabellefuhrman: x

@willowshields: CALL 911 I REPEAT SOMEONE CALL 911 WE ARE VEERING WILDLY OFF THE ROAD

@dayookeniyi: time to burn the best of both worlds into my retinas to hopefully unsee what just happened

@amandlastenberg: things i can officially say i’ve done before 2017 ends: off-roading

@jackie_emerson: in la?????

@amandlastenberg: @jackie_emerson you can do anything you put your mind to

@willowshields: we’ll be spending 2018 in the hospital getting treated for whiplash

@dayookeniyi: @willowshields see this wouldn’t be a problem if you and amandla were still 10

@amandlastenberg: @dayookeniyi go back to your hannah montana marathon oladayo and leave me ALONE

@alexanderludwig: @amandlastenberg who the hell is oladayo

@dayookeniyi: @alexanderludwig ....that’s it i give up @amandlastenberg if i come stand outside isabelle’s house will you hit me and put me out of my misery

@amandlastenberg: @dayookeniyi you got it dude

@jackie_emerson: the rise of the little merquaid

@dayookeniyi: white people

@jackquaid92: STOP TELLING SOCIAL MEDIA ABOUT THIS GODDAMMIT

@amandlastenberg: i hope one of you knuckleheads has a hidden talent of being a mechanic because MY CAR SURE IS GONNA NEED THE TUNE UP

@madelinefuhrman: CAN YOU ALL GO HOME ALREADY

@isabellefuhrman: @madelinefuhrman you had your chance to get rid of them hours ago, time to make your bed and lie in it SIS

@madelinefuhrman: @isabellefuhrman don’t use my words against me or i’ll start tweeting out old diary entries now that alexbelle is a-happenin

@amandlastenberg: @madelinefuhrman YOU START HUNTING AND I’LL BE THERE IN UNDER 5 TO HELP YOU TWEET THEM OUT

@willowshields: @amandlastenberg SLOW THE FUCK DOWN I JUST SAW US PASS LIGHT

@jhutch1992: next year i’m gonna fly out to wherever the hell in the world you guys decide to be so i can spend new years with you guys instead of my redneck neighbors and malfunctioning roku

@jackquaid92: i nominate we all go to disney, and you foot the bill

@jhutch1992: @jackquaid92 why the hell should i pay when i have liam’s credit card information stored in my apple pay

@jackie_emerson: i’m with jack, let’s go to disney world next year!!!!

@isabellefuhrman: we just gotta make sure wherever we go, we give @amandlastenberg ample travel time or else she might blackmail mickey into stabbing us

@amandlastenberg: @isabellefuhrman i’m touched that you know me so well

@jhutch1992: @jackquaid92 @jackie_emerson @isabellefuhrman @amandlastenberg are you guys just gonna ignore the bit about my roku????

@jackie_emerson: @jhutch1992 you actually expected otherwise?

@isabellefuhrman: i hear tires squealing so i’m going to assume @amandlastenberg has finally arrived to the wasn’t-supposed-to-be-a-party party

@amandlastenberg: I AM HERE AND MY PHONE IS ON RECORD RESUME THE ALEXBELLE MAKEOUT SESSIONS BECAUSE I AM CLAIMING MY TITLE OF QUEEN OF THE INTERNET

@amandlastenberg: also pls let me in it’s cold

@dayookeniyi: WONDERFUL @amandlastenberg i’m waiting at the door with scissors, provide your license upon entry

@amandlastenberg: @dayookeniyi maybe in 2018 you’ll stop being so delusional

@willowshields: i have never been so grateful to see @alexanderludwig in my life

@alexanderludwig: um what are you talking about i’m a cATCH

@jackie_emerson: how to know you’ve gotten Desperate

@willowshields: @jackie_emerson you weren’t in that car

@amandlastenberg: WE WERE NOT GOING THAT FAST

@willowshields: @isabellefuhrman please lock @amandlastenberg outside bc lightning is about to strike her down

@alexanderludwig: you guys are going to leave behind this mess of USING ME AS A PUNCHING BAG IN 2017 DAMMIT

@jackie_emerson: they will be lowering you into the ground and i’ll still be throwing hands

@jackquaid92: if you haven’t shaken it by now, you never will dude

@alexanderludwig: @isabellefuhrman please protect me

@isabellefuhrman: @alexanderludwig you’re a good kisser but you’re an even greater punching bag xoxo

@jackquaid92: almost all of the gang back together again…..i wish i was in vegas with britney

@dayookeniyi: all we have to do is pull out a karaoke machine and put ludwig in some heels, it’ll practically be the same thing

@jackquaid92: @dayookeniyi how dare you liken ludwig to jesus spears

@isabellefuhrman: um do you not remember what happened when we went to go see taylor swift’s nye performance a few years ago in times square???????

@jackquaid92: @isabellefuhrman it was wonderful what are you talking about

@jackie_emerson: @jackquaid92 WE ALMOST GOT ARRESTED

@amandlastenberg: get off your PHONES AND ENTERTAIN ME

@jackquaid92: @amandlastenberg this is why we don’t invite you, you’re too high maintenance – always trying to build up more footage for your alexbelle/emerquaid repertoire

@amandlastenberg: @jackquaid92 okay first, i don’t buy that you know what the word repertoire means so get off dictonary.com and SECONDLY I HAVE A DUTY TO THE PEOPLE OF TUMBLR

@dayookeniyi: i thought i had seen it all tonight….and then someone mentioned the word ‘reputation’

@jackquaid92: BEST ALBUM OF 2018

@alexanderludwig: SAVED MY LFIE

@jhutch1992: WHAT IS THIS ABOUT QUEEN SWIFT

@isabellefuhrman: you had to know the taylor swift fan-men would be extra rabid on a full moon, dayo, it’s your own damn fault

@amandlastenberg: @jhutch1992 since when did you become a taylor swift fan

@jhutch1992: @amandlastenberg SINCE ALWAYS

@alexanderludwig: I DID SOMETHING BAD IS MY JAM SOMEONE CRANK IT UP

@willowshields: @alexanderludwig *pretends to be shocked*

@dayookeniyi: @isabellefuhrman suddenly your closet is looking more and more like a safe place to begin the new year

@isabellefuhrman: @dayookeniyi WHAT IS SO SCARY ABOUT MY CLOSET?!

@jackie_emerson: @isabellefuhrman sweetie, you can’t be that oblivious

@amandlastenberg: @jackie_emerson don’t speak so soon, this is the girl that’s had the hots for ludwig for how long now???

@isabellefuhrman: @jackie_emerson @amandlastenberg get out of my house

@jackie_emerson: maybe in 2018 i will join @levenrambin and break free of this thg twitter curse

@jackquaid92: maybe in 2018 alexander and isabelle will actually stay together

@isabellefuhrman: maybe in 2018 you all will stop coming to my house uninvited

@willowshields: maybe in 2018 amandla will get her license revoked and stop terrorizing the roads

@dayookeniyi: maybe in 2018 i will get to watch as the isabelle posters in nike come down

@isabellefuhrman: @dayookeniyi maybe in 2018 i’ll get you your aarp card for your birthday

@dayookeniyi: @isabellefuhrman I AM NOT THAT OLD DAMMIT

@isabellefuhrman: @dayookeniyi i’m sorry i don’t speak grandpa

@dayookeniyi: maybe in 2018 you people will stop being so SASSY

@jhutch1992: maybe in 2018 you guys will learn about this thing called communication

@alexanderludwig: maybe in 2018 (as in this week) when queen latifah’s funeral is televised you all will apologize and acknowledge that i’m not dumber than a bag of rocks

@amandlastenberg: 3 words, all of you: NEVER. GONNA. HAPPEN

9 notes · View notes