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#like what even happened that day it was much funnier than it seems
twogyuu · 2 months
Text
the unoriginal villain origin story
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Pairing: Jeonghan x fem!reader (ft. friend!Wonwoo)
Synopsis: In which Jeonghan and his friends recount the series of unfortunate events that led to you.
Alternatively, in which maybe leaving it up to fate Wonwoo is all Jeonghan really needed to do all along.
Genre: Fluff, crack, angst if you squint, cliche af, prequel to Thursday's Child Has Far to Go anthology, dilf!jeonghan, uncle!wonwoo (he's engaged LOL), part university!au, mild E2L (they're not really enemies, but OC definitely trying to stay AWAY from Jeonghan at first), one-sided turned mutual pining
Warnings: Profanity, mentions of food/alcohol, mildly suggestive (they just kiss and jeonghan likes skinship), reader is shorter than jeonghan, jeonghan changes hair color a couple times, wonwoo just swallows food without chewing like a maniac, proofread but not well, there are inconsistencies between this and easter egg's dropped about their relationship in other fics (i will fix that some day!)
wc: ~14.6k
A/N: I had so much trouble posting this T^T First long fic in a while🫶🏻 It's not my best story nor is it that deep, but made me feel all sorts of giddy 💞 I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing!
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“So,” Leah starts with her mouth half-full, capturing the table’s attention. She’s quick to cover her lips and swallow her food before continuing. “I’m curious,” she points between Jeonghan and you, “How’d you two end up together? As long as I’ve known Wonwoo, you’ve been married.”
Immediately, Wonwoo snorts, nearly spitting out his dinner on his friend sitting across the table. Jeonghan scorns in disgust, frowning, offended as to why Wonwoo finds his fiance’s question amusing. In contrast, you seem to lose your appetite, silver fork clattering against your half-filled ceramic plate. You grow quiet, straightening your spine and avoiding eye contact like you were back in middle school, caught red-handed with a confession letter to your crush. 
“I honestly thought she was going to end up with Baekho – she loathed Jeonghan with a passion,” Wonwoo chuckles to himself as he redirects his chopsticks at your husband. “But Jeonghan knocked her up – that’s what happened.” 
“Okay,” Jeonghan is quick to defend. He sighs, shooting Wonwoo a bored, but annoyed look, “That’s not what happened – do you have to put it that way?” 
The other man only shrugs his shoulders, raising his palms to the sky playing innocent and oblivious. 
Leah’s eyes flicker back and forth between you and your husband, then sweet Nina. Leah’s innocent smile slowly fading as you neither confirmed or answered. She isn’t aware that this was a sensitive topic for you and Jeonghan, and the last thing she wants to do is offend her fiance’s friends! The two of you just seem to get along so well and so in love, for lack of a better description, it’s hard for Leah to imagine much malice as to how you met and got together. Yet, this raises the additional worrisome, unfounded suspicion: Did you and Jeonghan just get married out of convenience?
No – that couldn’t be! Wonwoo is a sensible man; he wouldn’t be laughing if it was a pitiful marriage of convenience. 
“She didn’t hate me,” Jeonghan starts to explain. 
“She blocked your number after the blind date,” Wonwoo interjects. 
You met during a blind date?
“It wasn’t even our blind date,” Jeonghan quickly shoots back. He clenches his jaw, clearly getting fed up with Wonwoo’s teasing. 
This is certainly interesting for Leah . . . Jeonghan frequently annoyed Wonwoo, not that the latter gave the older gentleman the reaction he wanted, but it is rare to see Wonwoo get under Jeonghan’s skin. 
“It wasn’t, which makes it all the funnier,” Wonwoo comments, “In fact, she was technically,” Wonwoo holds his fingers up in air quotes, “‘my blind date.’”
“I was merely doing you a favor by tagging along – and it was free food!” you finally exclaim, frowning at Wonwoo. 
Wonwoo waves you off, smirking, “Jeonghan was down bad.”
Confused, Leah holds up a hand to silence the bickering. She shakes her head, “Wait, wait, wait – please start from the beginning. I didn’t grow up with you guys, so I’m so lost.”
Like those corny rom-coms, you and Jeonghan turn to look at each other at the same time, exchanging a knowing, tired look. There’s a bashful tinge to your expression; interestingly, the corner of Jeonghan’s lips quirks up in a crooked, smug smile. 
Sure, you may have resisted (NOT hate) him at first, and Wonwoo can make fun of him all he wants, but it’s Yoon Jeonghan who won in the end. 
After all, you're sitting next to him at the dinner of your shared home as his wife and Nina's mom after all.
. . . . 
The day was near perfect for Wonwoo. 
His morning coding lecture was canceled, so he got to sleep in. Though there was a pop quiz in his Operating Systems class, he passed with flying colors for once. Wonwoo only had two classes today, finishing in the early afternoon, leaving the rest of the day to his leisure. He decided to celebrate by treating himself to some fancy coffee from the new bougie cafe that opened on the edge of campus before meeting up with a friend for a quick study session. Now, Wonwoo wasn't some latte snob, but there was something pleasant and relaxing about taking a quiet stroll around campus with his Airpods plugged in and an overpriced hot brew with several scoops of sugar and multiple pumps of mocha syrup in his hand. The weather on this autumn day was also just right – not too cold that he needed a windbreaker, but not too warm that his green and orange plaid flannel and yellow beanie combo didn’t make him sweat buckets. 
All was wonderful: It was just him and his overpriced bougie sweet sludge of caffeine. Indeed this campus was huge and he was surrounded by so many students rushing to class or laughing with their friends on the grass instead of studying; however, he felt anonymous and loved it. No one minded him, no one dared to bother him–
“Hey!” a familiar crack of a shrill interrupts IU’s sweet voice streaming through his ear piece. It’s accompanied by a bony and heavy hand clamping onto his shoulder, nearly yanking Wonwoo back and tumbling onto his ass if he didn’t catch his footing. 
Annoyed, Wonwoo pulled out his earbud and turned to face his menace of a friend: Yoon Jeonghan. He was panting, chocolate brown hair stuck to his forehead by sweat and sticking out in funny directions in the gentle breeze, as if he had been chasing Wonwoo for several minutes. 
“Why are you out of breath?” Wonwoo deadpanned. 
“I’ve been,” Jeonghan sucked in breath, “Running,” he heaved again, “After you! Calling your name! How loud is your music? God – you’ve been spending too much time with Hansol.” Jeonghan adjusted the straps of his backpack, making a point to roll his shoulder back dramatically. 
“Sorry,” Wonwoo muttered, fingers tapping his screen to pause his music. “Um, what do you need? Can I help you?” He cleared his throat, keeping eye contact with Jeonghan as he took a sip of his coffee, presuming it cooled down by now. 
“Go on a date with me,” Jeonghan said.
Wonwoo choked, the mocha liquid spilling from between his lips, accidentally spraying the hem of Jeonghan’s gray t-shirt.
“Wonwoo!” Jeonghan screamed, jumping back. 
The said man was quick to dab his lips with the back of his hand, coughing in the process. 
“What the fuck, dude!” Jeonghan groaned, brushing at his shirt. “Good thing I didn’t wear white today.”
“I’m sorry, but what?” Wonwoo exclaimed. A few passing students throw confused glances in their directions. Wonwoo lowered his voice and quickly added, “Look – I know we’re good friends and I like you – as a friend, and I respect you, but I don’t swing that way.”
Probably thirty seconds passed by as Wonwoo waited impatiently for his friend to explain his request further. Jeonghan’s expression only grows unreadable, his brows softening as he let’s go of his shirt, lips drooping into a frown. Taking Wonwoo by surprise, Jeonghan roughly grabbed Wonwoo’s wrist and pulled him close. He tried to pull back, but for a twink, Jeonghan’s grip was strong.
“I’ve loved you for so long! I can’t believe you won’t–” 
Thwack!
“Hey!” Wonwoo’s hands come flying to the back of his head at the pain shooting up neck. 
“No, you dumbass!” Jeonghan finally sounding like himself again, “I’m asking you to come on a blind date with me – to keep me safe and keep me company, of course. Save me when I give you the look.”
“The look?” Wonwoo asked, still rubbing the base of his head.
“You know,” Jeonghan widened his eyes and clenched his jaw, extending his neck like a giraffe. “That look.”
“Right,” Wonwoo replied slowly – as if he knew what that meant. He waved his friend off. “Sorry – I can’t though. I also don’t want to third wheel.”
“Why not!” Jeonghan groaned. 
“I’m busy.”
“Aren’t we all?” 
“I’m meeting a friend.”
“Bring your friend!” Jeonghan grabbed Wonwoo’s arm desperately, “Or anyone really. Please! I just don’t want to go on this date alone.”
“You hit me – why would I?” Wonwoo teased back. “Also, why’d you agree to the blind date if you don’t want to go?”
“I owe it to Seungcheol,” Jeonghan groaned. “I’m going in his stead – something having a girl.”
“Ah,” Wonwoo nodded, the pieces coming together. The two friends were close and had a history of exchanging blind dates and sending one versus the other – a weird pact they developed in their freshman year of university. He suddenly scrunched his brows together, a new question forming on the tip of his tongue. “Wait – Seungcheol has a girl?”
Jeonghan doesn’t seem to care, however. “So?” 
“So?” Wonwoo repeated back, confused 
“I’ll pay for food,” Jeonghan offered. 
As if on cue, Wonwoo’s stomach growled. The two of them peer down at his abdomen, then back at each other. He was a growing, but broke college student – his fridge didn’t contain much yesterday, and even less today. 
Rubbing his belly, he replied quietly, “I guess I can think of someone.”
“Great!” Jeonghan brightened immediately. “7PM, tomorrow – don’t be late!”
. . . .
[Wonwoo]: Want free food?
. . . .
[Y/N]: This is NOT what I envisioned when you said ‘free food’ >:(
Pushing his black-rimmed spectacles up his nose bridge, Wonwoo looked up at his phone, offering you a sheepish, but apologetic smile, from across the table. He gave you a small shrug, scrunching his lips and bowing his head slightly to silently say ‘sorry.’ The sincerity of his apology doesn’t seem to go through though, as you only sigh heavily and roll your eyes. 
Violently, you stabbed your wooden chopstick into the pork belly sizzling in front of you. Not minding to blow at it, quickly, you stuck in your mouth, instantly regretting your decision, of course as the heat burnt a piece of your tongue. You jolted a little, eyes beginning to water.
And then, he does it – again. 
Sleeves of his brown sweater rolled up to his elbow, he reached over the steaming grill and placed a freshly refilled, full glass of ice water in front of you.
Hand hovering over your lip, your eyes flicker to Jeonghan. Lips pressed into a thin, but genuinely warm, crooked smile, his deep brown eyes, once round curves into half moons under the overgrown bangs of his soft cool brown hair (which was growing blotchy and brassy, if you might add). Though you were curious why he looked at you with such disgusting saccharine dripping from his eyes that may or may not have made you feel some type of way, you don’t let your gaze linger for long to figure out why. You were quick to turn your shoulder towards him, covering your steaming mouth and concentrating on a crack in the old oak windowsill. 
It had been like this since five minutes into the (now that you know) double blind date. You’re not sure how the seating arrangement ended up this way when you and Wonwoo were just here in support, but Jeonghan sat next to you, Dami across from you, and Wonwoo diagonally position. His date, Dami, sat across from him, but Jeonghan seemed to pay minimal mind to her, answering her questions politely, but vaguely. 
Perhaps you were just thinking too much about it, but Jeonghan was paying more attention to you. He laughed a little too loud at your blunt remarks, you caught him staring in your direction one too many times, and was a little too attentive at what was in your bowl. You made a point to ask Wonwoo about it after. 
The gestures seemed sweet until you took a step back and got a larger view of the situation: Two facts were certain.
One – You weren’t close with Jeonghan despite sharing Wonwoo and a few others as a mutual friend. Yet his reputation was notorious as it was confusing. Neither quite the fuck boy nor the campus hearthrob (that title belonged to his friend, Seungcheol), Yoon Jeonghan was a silent menace to collegiate society. He was gorgeous – a deep set of dark brown eyes framed by long velvet lashes, his features were gentle, yet somehow dynamic and sharp. His warm smile ignited hearts across campus, but no one dared confess to him: His intentions (or the lack thereof) were known far and wide: Yoon Jeonghan did not date. He was cordial, perhaps sometimes a mischievous flirt if bored, but his true kindness did not go out easily. It was not known why he didn’t date, a man that beautiful could snatch someone up with a bat of his lashes and flick of his finger. Some of your friends had said he had a long distance girlfriend on the other side of the country, others have proposed he was afraid of commitment and a closet fuck boy – kept his flings under wraps. He was close with the soccer team after all. 
With all of this “knowledge” about him in mind, that led you to the second point: Jeonghan was Dami’s blind date. There’s a piece of you that is curious as to why Jeonghan agreed to a blind date with Dami – not in a toxic or jealous way of course. Her jet black hair trimmed into a short, messy but stylish shag bob, her features resembling that of a wide-eyed kitten, Dami was indeed cute. You didn’t know much about her, however; no money to her name, she wasn’t particularly popular or desired in that way on campus, did not participate in sports or clubs, and you’re not even sure how she was linked to Jeonghan in the first place. 
Perhaps this was Dami’s big love story: the campus enigma takes interest in an ordinary girl and whisks her away to live an adventurous life after graduation. 
The catch though?
Dami didn’t seem interested in Jeonghan at all. 
In fact, hearts were literally shooting out of her eyes at Wonwoo. 
“So, uh,” Dami cleared her throat, her eyes flickered up to Wonwoo then you before returning back to the boy on her side. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she asked, “Are the two of you . . .?”
Wonwoo choked on his lettuce, followed by your awkward cough. Much to both of your surprises, Jeonghan also nearly spat out his water at Wonwoo. A moment of silence at the table lingered, the three of you glancing at each other, while Dami sat back in her seat trying to make sense of the situation; though frankly, you and Wonwoo were equally confused as to why Jeonghan reacted so volatilely too. 
“We’re just friends,” Wonwoo finally piped up. He cleared his throat, dabbing the invisible stain in the corner of his lip with the napkin. 
You nodded vigorously in confirmation. 
“Oh? Okay,” Dami said softly, a little breathless. There’s a small twitch of the corner of her lip, threatening to stretch into a grin, but she caught herself, offering the table a tight smile instead. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Jeonghan visibly relax, quietly returning to the meat grilling in front of him. 
The rest of the dinner proceeded without any choking mishaps – it was fairly nice, honestly. You decided that you actually really liked Dami. Despite her cat-like appearance and coy nature, she was lively and innocent. Her crush on Wonwoo was evident and you found it endearing, though your friend might not. 
In regards to Jeonghan, his nonchalant, yet caring nature carried on throughout the night; it even got Wonwoo raising his brows curiously. You do your best to not pay mind to him, but every now and then, you find yourself heating up at the sound of his deep laughter.
After bidding the pair goodbye and exchanging phone numbers with Dami, you and Wonwoo set off for your shared apartment complex. You lived in the same building, him on the second floor, you on the fourth floor. 
Unable to contain your curiosity much longer, you check behind you to make sure Jeonghan is a good distance away before nudging Wonwoo’s elbow. He looked at you, unamused, silently asking you what you wanted. 
You began, “Hey, this is a weird question and I know you were just there for moral support and free food, but did you get the feeling that Jeonghan–” 
“Yeah,” Wonwoo confirmed, already knowing the answer to your unfinished question. You stutter in your steps, putting you a few feet behind him. Wonwoo continued forward, showing no signs of slowing down for your confused state. He hollered back, “He’s definitely into you.”
It made you feel some type of way, but you can’t decide if it’s a good type of way or you didn’t like it all together. Your heart beats funny for the first time in years – it was reminiscent of when you developed a crush in middle school, but different due to the uncertainty of this feeling. Unbeknownst to you, Wonwoo’s comment made you come to a halt altogether, quietly contemplating in the middle of the sidewalk while strangers walked around you. 
As if on cue, just as Wonwoo noticed your absence lingering behind him, he turned to find Jeonghan actually running willingly, fast approaching behind you. He touched your elbow, interrupting your daze and you turned around slowly to greet him. Wonwoo can’t make out your expression, but he could only imagine, you looked lost like a guppy in the sewers. On the other hand, Jeonghan’s expression was very visible and clear: his friend was beaming; subtly in his smiles and soft in his eyes, but beaming nonetheless. 
One would think Jeonghan had something important to tell you given the way he sprinted nearly a block to catch up to you, heaving between words, but his message was rather simple. 
“It was really nice meeting you, Y/N.”
Yet, for some reason, it made all the impact. 
. . . .
“Please!” Jeonghan hissed, stabbing Wonwoo’s side with the tip of his pencil. Wonwoo winced away, shooting daggers in his friend’s direction. He was trying to use this spare few hours between classes to study for his finals in the serenity and quiet of the library. His friends knew around this time of the semester, Wonwoo didn’t like to be disturbed, but it just so happened that Jeonghan had an urgent request, prompting him to track down the computer engineering major to his sacred, hidden spot of the law school library. “Can you give me her number? It’s not that hard!”
Though irritating, Wonwoo did find this version of Yoon Jeonghan was very entertaining as much as it was enthralling as Jeonghan never took this much interest in anyone or anything. He wanted to let his intrusive thoughts win and indulge in it. 
The two of you were like night and day. Whereas, you spoke your feelings, wants, and needs openly, Jeonghan never dared to do so. His requests were cryptic, embedded questions pertaining to the objective, rather than what his heart desired truly. You had your mind set on a goal; Jeonghan was one to flow and ebb with the waters of life. 
However, though neither of you knew it yet, there was a beguiling bone in the both of you. It depended on how it played out whether it’d unite the both of you or send you apart. At this point, it was unironically up to Wonwoo if he wanted to be the third player in this game. t
Wonwoo scoffed, shaking his head. 
“What?” Jeonghan frowned. 
“Do you want it that bad?” Wonwoo asked. He pressed his friend further. “And why?”
Jeonghan closed his mouth as quick as he opened it, retracting the rationale at the tip of his tongue. A good gambler never shows his cards first. His eyes flickered, contemplating his next few words more carefully before adjusting his posture and continuing. 
“Just because,” Jeonghan replied nonchalantly. 
Wonwoo chuckled, not surprised. 
“If you’re just going to fuck around with her heart, I’d rather not,” Wonwoo replied, shrugging. 
And it was true – you were the same age, but to some extent, you felt like a long-lost younger sister to Wonwoo. 
“Hey,” Jeonghan punched him lightly. There was a slight warning tone as he was frowning even more, well aware of what Wonwoo was referring to. Jeonghan has never bothered to clarify the rumors of his dating life, thinking it too much work, but that didn’t mean he liked them either. “You know that’s not true and I would never.”
“Then admit it,” Wonwoo shot back. 
“Admit what?!��� Jeonghan flailed his hands wildly, earning a few dirty looks from the studious students a few tables away.  
“You want Y/N’s number because you’re interested.”
“Th-that’s not it,” Jeonghan muttered weakly. “I mean, yes? But also no? I just . . . want to know her better – you know, as a friend . . . first.”
Crossing his arm over his chest, Wonwoo nodded, feigning agreement. “Right, right.”
“Wonwoo,” Jeonghan protested. 
When he didn’t respond, Jeonghan groaned loudly, flopping back in his spinning chair dramatically. 
“If you won’t tell me, I’ll find someone else to give it to me,” Jeonghan threatened. 
“And risk other people questioning why you want to contact Y/N?” Wonwoo teased. He shot Jeonghan a shit-eating grin, “You know what they’re all going to think, right?”
“Jeon Wonwoo, when did you get so fucking irritating?” 
Wonwoo leaned forward, waving his finger for Jeonghan to get closer. The latter hesitated for a second before giving in. 
“If there’s one thing you should know about Y/N,” Wonwoo started in a hushed voice, “You’re not the first one to ask for her number.”
“So?” Jeonghan asked incredulously, “Why should that matter?”
“Just saying,” Wonwoo leaned back, resting his hands on the nape of his neck, “Don’t be surprised if she turns you down – she doesn’t like to mess around. She’s not really . .  . actively looking to date right now either, honestly. Something about careers and being her ‘me’ era.” At the time, Jeonghan wasn’t sure what that meant, but he was sure content with the way Wonwoo ripped a corner of his notebook and scribbled down your digits. “You should be grateful we’re friends – she asked me not to hand out her number the first time I gave it to Johnny Suh.”
He handed the scrap over to Jeonghan, who beamed as if it was the golden ticket from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. 
May Yoon Jeonghan be the last to ask for your number. 
Wonwoo called after Jeonghan, “In return, all I ask is that you don’t tell Y/N you got the number from me.”
“Why?” Jeonghan asked, adjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder as he stood up from his desk. 
Wonwoo rubbed his neck sheepishly, tips of his ear turning red. “I also don’t want her passing out my number – it’s a pact we made, kinda.”
It all clicked for Jeonghan then, if not more. “Don’t worry,” Jeonghan waved, “I’ll send Dami a text.”
“Hey!”
. . . .
[Jeonghan]: Hey – this is Yoon Jeonghan :) 
[Jeonghan]: I got it from Wonwoo hehehe.
[Y/N Y/L/N]: ???
[Jeonghan]: Hello?
[Y/N Y/L/N]: [your message not delivered]
. . . .
You don’t hear from Jeonghan after the double blind date.
Not that you were anticipating it, but still– Wonwoo said he was into you and then he chased you down a block to tell you it was nice to meet you!
Ugh – the bar was so damn low. 
On the other hand, you do hear from Dami, the two of you quickly becoming better friends. She reached out to you on Instagram, playful chatter turning into occasional hangouts and then weekly coffee runs or walking to the general vicinity of your classes together in between lectures. You were suspicious at first, wondering if she was using you to get closer to Wonwoo, but her intentions seemed sincere. Indeed, she did ask about Wonwoo every now and then, eventually also asking if he was seeing anyone, you didn’t find it particularly annoying. She still wanted to be your friend and understood boundaries, choosing to admire from afar and up close when the opportunity presents. 
It also turned out that Wonwoo wasn’t the only one who sensed there was something up about Jeonghan at the blind date as Dami brought it up months later when you passed the barbeque restaurant where you all met that fateful day on a stroll. At this point, you’d like to think Jeonghan became a distant memory – just a fleeting interaction, but there are times that you do catch yourself wondering about him. You wonder what he’s up to, wonder if he’s gone on more blind dates, what would have happened if you were a little more forward and you reached out. 
“Oh,” Dami waved you off when you asked about how she got Jeonghan to agree to a blind date with her. “I was just as surprised as the rest of you – that blind date was actually supposed to be with Choi Seungcheol, but I’m not sure what happened. He’s cute, but Jeonghan’s not really my type.”
“I see,” you nodded, feeling a sense of relief for some weird reason. You snuggle your hands deeper into the pockets of your puffer jacket. 
A beat passed before Dami asked slowly, “Is Jeonghan your type though?”
You peer down at the shorter girl, quirking a curious eyebrow. 
“What?” she asked innocently. “It was totally obvious – he was head over heels for you.”
“As if,” you scoffed. “We literally just met that night.”
She bumped your shoulder lightly. “Ey, haven’t you heard of love at first sight?”
“I don’t believe in love at first sight,” you corrected her. “I hardly know him and vice versa; how is he supposed to like me already?”
“It’s just . . . a vibe, I guess,” Dami tried to reason, “He liked your vibe.”
“Very scientific,” you replied sarcastically.
“I’m just saying,” Dami shrugged, “I may be a hopeless romantic, but I’ve never seen Jeonghan act out like that before.”
“Did you know him prior?” you asked curiously. 
Dami hummed, tapping her finger to her chin. “I knew of him and I’ve seen him here and there, but I never talked to him like that. Our circles never really overlapped, other than Seungcheol. Knowledge by observation – Jeonghan’s not really . . . he’s . . . gosh, kind of hard to explain.”
“How so?” your interest was piqued. 
“I don’t know . . . the way he talks . . . it feels like he’s flirting with everyone, but it’s never serious and he’s actually not? You’d think with how playful he is, he’d be an asshole,” Dami fumbled with her words. 
You felt your heart sink a little. “So what I’m hearing is . . . this was probably lust at best.”
“No! With you, it was different though! Agh – fuck, wish I was better with words,” Dami protested. 
“Doesn’t sound different.”
“Is he your type though?” Dami pressed again, nonetheless. 
You took a moment to contemplate, head skimming through your celebrity crushes, things you liked in old exes, things you didn’t like as you learned, growing up. Again, you hardly knew Jeonghan, but you’re slowly starting to piece together the person he seemed to be. He was the kind of man your mother warned you about: good-looking, sweet with their words and actions, but unpredictable – in a bad kind of way. 
Eventually, you shook your head, letting out a heavy breath. “Not really – he’s . . . too pretty,” you replied, “Wouldn’t bat an eye on him if I saw him on the metro.” Your voice trailed off as you were not in a mood to explain yourself further. Despite the certainty in your voice, the answer didn’t seem to settle well into your body, making you feel squeamish, a heavy sensation landing in your chest.  
So what if Jeonghan wasn’t your type?
Dami hummed in understanding, “I can see that.” She kicked the ball of snow in front of her. “Well then, it’s a good thing you won’t see him again, right?”
“Right.”
“What is your type then?” Dami asked. She quickly added, “Just asking for funsies.”
You smiled, appreciative that she’d indulge in your delusions every now and then. 
Just as you parted your lips to start, a deep voice bellowed your name from afar in front of the both of you. Dami and you lift your heads from the icy pavement, to find a broad young man standing a few feet away. His jacket was unzipped, sweater hanging loosely from his shoulders, just enough so that you can see his tattoo peeking out from underneath the collar. He grinned wide, eyes turning into crescents under his thick brows, cheeks and the tip of nose pink. 
“B-Baekho,” you stammered. Your lips wobble nervously as if they couldn’t decide whether to smile or hide the way your heart fluttered at the sight of him. “Hey.”
Despite your long-time crush standing before you, you had to make a conscious effort to quell the lingering thoughts of Jeonghan in the back of your mind. 
. . . .
You were wrong – you would see Yoon Jeonghan again. 
You and Jeonghan shared more mutual friends than you had thought. 
It’s Soonyoung’s birthday party. You’re not sure why, Soonyoung was full of surprises, but he invited a handful of his friends out to the outdoor ice skating rink about half an hour from campus. The plan was to hang out there for the afternoon before returning to his apartment for an evening of festivities. 
Jeonghan had changed his appearance since you last saw him. His once dark brown hair was now bleach blonde – he’d grown it out, the dark roots peaking through, but the bright ends hung shaggily, skimming over his long velvet lashes. At the chalet while lacing up his skates, he still donned those skittish grins and playful smirks whenever he was teasing his other friends, elbowing them and throwing his head back in a deep laughter, in contrast to his soft voice most days. 
You do your best to avoid him, sticking close with Dami (Soonyoung let you bring a plus one) on the rink or choosing to sit close to Wonwoo who opted to stay inside and watch from the chalet. Dami does a pretty good job keeping you busy, anyhow – the girl could hardly skate, clinging onto the walls and calling for you every time you strayed too far. It was moments like this you were thankful your mother put you in ice skating for a brief moment in your youth before you vehemently quit in fourth grade, terrified by the stories of professional figure skaters needing hip surgery and waking up early every Saturday for lessons. It also seemed like Jeonghan was facing the same challenge with the birthday boy. Out of the corner of your eyes every now and then, you’d catch a glimpse of Soonyoung bent over at a 90 degree angle, hands outstretched clinging onto Jeonghan’s hands like his life depended on it. 
“Y/N!” Dami called for the umpteenth time that afternoon. “Y/N! Hey!”
You huffed, growing tired of slowing down for your friend. You loved her! Don’t get it wrong, it’s just you wanted at least one round, where you could whiz around the rink and awaken those skater muscles you once built. 
You spun around to face her, skating backwards. “Dami, I think we should get you one of those skating walkers–”
“No, you idiot!” she cried, pointing behind you aggressively, “Watch out!”
Her warning proved too late, however. By the time you faced forward again, you came crashing into a familiar blob of white puffer and a high-pitched, but husky shriek. A set of arms wrapped around your body and you curled yourself inwards, allowing yourself to take refuge into whoever had been your demise and your savior. Mittens clinging onto the slippery material of their coat, you squeeze your eyes shut, letting your fumbling feet still so no one tripped and you both fell. 
The both of you eventually hit the side of the rink, eliciting a quiet ‘umph’ from the mystery person. The trauma of the impact seemed to linger a little longer; you were afraid to open your eyes to see yourself sailing towards a whole crowd of people despite feeling yourself still. 
“Um,” the person shifted uncomfortably. They tapped your shoulder before trying to peel you off of them, “Y-you can let go.”
You peel your lids open, one by one, cautiously to make sure you were no longer moving. Eventually, you relax, pulling back a little – still holding on nonetheless. 
The person cleared their throat, prompting you to look up. 
Fuck.
Jeonghan gave you a tight lipped smile, “Hey.”
“Uh, hi,” you replied, awkwardly. 
“You can let go now,” he looked around, leaning back into the board, “People are staring.”
“Oh, right,” you pushed yourself back, letting your skates drift you away. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Jeonghan pretended to be busy and brushed off the invisible wrinkles in his coat. 
A beat passed as he straightened out, catching your gaze and letting it linger. You feel your heartbeat hastened, his stare making you nervous and stirring up other feelings in your stomach, but you don’t dare look away – it was weirdly addicting. 
“Um well,” Jeonghan finally said, he nodded once, “It was nice seeing you around.”
You panicked, launching yourself towards him and catching his elbow. “Wait!”
Jeonghan threw you a confused look over his shoulder, quietly waiting for you to continue. 
“W-wait,” you whispered again under your breath. You inhaled harshly, eyes flickering up to meet him before dropping them to his black and white, scuffed rental skates. “D-do you maybe . . . wanna get hot cocoa?” You pointed back at the chalet and Jeonghan followed your mittens. 
He paused, expression unreadable. His brows knitted together, lips pressing into a thin line. He looks all over the place except for you, finally coming to a conclusion and answering, “Sure.”
“Cool,” you nodded.
He was the first to leave, skating towards the entrance of the rink. 
You followed quietly. 
Dami and Soonyoung watched from afar, both kneeling on the ice, one hand on the side board as their saviors left them to fend on their own. 
. . . .
The chalet was bustling with life: mothers with their young children in tow, friends bundled in layers as they waddled unsteadily in their skates towards the entrance, and others strewn across the wooden tables and benches. The young teens behind the cafe counter were certainly sweating away running between the cash register and the food warmers and coffee machines behind them. 
Jeonghan had graciously paid for your hot chocolates – not without a fight of course. You didn’t really want your drink to come with drinks attached. The two of you found a small table tucked away near the parking lot. It was a little quieter in this area, a little colder as well with the people coming and going. Nerves wracked your stomach as you tried to be as calm as possible, hopeful that he wouldn’t notice the regret lacing your entire body right now. You wonder if you got a concussion during that collision to even have the gall to invite him for a drink  after all these months. 
What would you even talk about? It’s not like your conversations during the double date were that deep. Let alone, who were you that he’d remember details about you?
The words exchanged between you and Jeonghan were far and few since the collision on ice – they were more so out of necessity. What you wanted to drink specifically, where you wanted to sit, be careful not to run into the kid whizzing across the chalet main floor. 
“You blocked my number,” Jeonghan blurted, interrupting your musing. You were only two sips into your hot chocolate, lips lifting off the rim of your white paper cup. He noted how the brown liquid faintly stained the rim where they once rested.
Jeonghan couldn’t hold it in much longer – the question was ruminating in the back of his mind for the past few months like an annoying fly they couldn’t swat in the house in the summer. He did his damn best to “let it go” like everyone said because “maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” However, it must mean something to have quite literally run into you now and you asked him to drink hot chocolate with you in the chalet, right? He wanted and needed to know your intentions.
Jeonghan watched you intently from the opposite side of the bench, your bustling surroundings melting away. You seemed to be in your own world, your silence ensuing. He noted how your left eyebrow twitched momentarily as if you were confused. It was quick to turn sly, your brow softening again, your lips curving into an amused smirk. It sent chills down Jeonghan’s spine to see your demeanor flip so quickly when you were coy moments earlier. Gears were turning – almost like you were plotting something. 
“And?” you asked, bringing up your paper cup of hot chocolate to your lips, the rim covering half of your face. 
Jeonghan snorted, shaking his head – the audacity!
“Yet, you’re asking to have a drink together?” Jeonghan continued. 
“How’d you get my number in the first place?” you asked instead. You raised a curious eyebrow. 
Jeonghan narrowed his gaze, setting his paper cup down roughly with a loud ‘clack’. The warm liquid sloshed around, threatening to spill over. “It’s rude to answer a question by asking another question.”
You shrugged nonchalantly, leaning forward towards him as if to challenge him; pressing Jeonghan to answer your question rather than vice versa. However, what you didn’t know was that Jeonghan was a different breed of man. He did not fall easily under pressure in the presence of a woman he was attracted to – he could sit here in awkward silence as long as you wanted. 
You’re not sure how long this showdown actually lasted, losing track of time. Seconds to minutes past, your drinks turned lukewarm and condensation formed on the inside of the unfilled regions of the cup. Admittedly, Jeonghan did grow more frustrated with you; yet he remained hopeful you’d crack. No one could withstand the “Yoon stare,” as Seokmin had dubbed it a few months prior at a drinking party. Nonetheless, perhaps he was a masochist, because for some reason, he was enjoying the company of someone who could keep up with him. 
“Yah!” a shrill comes from across the room. 
It was only a matter of seconds before Soonyoung, tip of his nose pink, came stomping over, removed his waterproof glove, and smacked the back of Jeonghan’s shoulder. Dami wasn’t far behind, though less upset. She threw you a questioning look, one that told you that you were going to have to explain yourself afterwards. 
“And you!” Soonyoung pointed an accusing finger at you. He then pointed it back and forth between you and Jeonghan. “You both suck leaving us stranded and helpless on the ice! You know, a couple of twelve-year-olds had to help us off! Took us almost twenty minutes!”
You shot Soonyoung an apologetic look, muttering a quiet ‘sorry’ before he quipped again, asking, “Also, like . . .” His eyes darted at the cups of hot chocolate and the way you were arranged at the table. Pieces began to click together. “What is this?” he tried to sound angry, “A date or something? I didn’t even know you guys knew each other!”
“Yeah,” Dami piped up, “A date or something?”
You coughed at this, turning your head away from them. 
Jeonghan made a note of this, raising a curious brow, before turning to Soonyoung. He shrugged and answered, “Or something.”
“Ugh,” Soonyoung groaned, “So you guys are like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeonghan asked. 
Soonyoung opened his mouth to answer, but Dami was quick to cut him off, an agenda of her own brewing. “Soonyoung, wanna grab a bite? And maybe some hot chocolate? My treat? We can go sit by Chan and Wonwoo over there.”
“But–”
“Great!”
Dami winked at Jeonghan, quickly pushing the birthday boy away. 
Jeonghan was really curious now. He turned back to you, who was still pretending to be fascinated by the old linoleum floors and the tips of your worn winter boots. 
“Yah,” Jeonghan called. 
You looked up, lips pursed. 
“You didn’t answer my question,” he said. 
“And you didn’t answer mine,” you replied. 
“Are you usually this irritating?”
“I don’t know, am I?”
Jeonghan let out a huff, blowing his blonde bangs. 
You were reaching for your cup and started to rise from your seat. 
“Hey, where are you–”
“You look better with brown hair by the way,” you deadpanned. You pointed at your own head, “It looked . . . healthier that way.”
Those were your last words before you set off towards Wonwoo’s and Chan’s table to join the others. 
If you were just anyone, Jeonghan might have shot some sassy comment back at your insult.  However, like never before, Jeonghan suddenly became anxious – as if you were slipping away like a balloon streamer threatening to drift away from a child’s hand in a windstorm. He felt his heart beginning to race and tongue took control of him. He spun in his seat and blurted after you instead, “Will I see you again?”
You paused in your stride before throwing a confused and mildly annoyed look over your shoulder. Your expression was quick to shift though. A shit-eating grin slowly stretching across your face, you explained casually, “Life . . . is full of surprises, Yoon Jeonghan. Only time can tell.” You raise your cup towards him in a final salute. 
“Touche,” Jeonghan muttered under his breath. .
Jeonghan watched you settle next to Wonwoo, bumping shoulders with your friend who only shot you an annoyed look when he raised his head from his book. Pushing his black-rimmed glasses up his nose, he said something, eliciting a frown and sending you into a pout. It must’ve been a tease because Wonwoo started to chuckle. 
Suddenly, another figure entered the scene – a well-built young man, bundled in a navy blue parka that framed his figure in a masculine manner. He had a broad set of shoulders and a thin waist – oh, he definitely worked out. To make matters worse, he was handsome: a sharp jaw and slim nose, his eyes seemingly cold due to their shape, but his gaze, at least towards you, was soft and warm. A pair of matching navy blue earmuffs donned either side of his face; his hair was immaculately well-styled in a side slick despite the wind outside. Jeonghan wondered how much gel he must’ve used to keep it that way. The man greeted you with a few word, possibly a question to sit next to you as far as Jeonghan could tell, because you nodded and scooted over to make room for him. The young man is grinning, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, eyes curving into crescents and he settled in, shoulders bumping against yours. Wonwoo was smooshed up the side of the wall, seemingly displeased though continued to read uninterrupted. Jeonghan found it all the more interesting just how friendly and smiley you were with him relative to himself just moments earlier. 
Jeonghan would never admit it out loud, but it kind of . . . infuriated him? An unsettling feeling overcame his chest, Jeonghan unknowingly shifting in his seat, fingers crushing the paper cup of hot chocolate a little tighter.
“You’re jealous,” Seungcheol said, approaching his best friend behind. 
Jeonghan looked up then back to you. “Am not.”
“I saw you guys sitting together earlier,” Seungcheol remarked. 
“Yeah – she offered.”
“Oh?”
“But then totally blew me off.”
“Yet, all chummy with Mr. Broad and Handsome, over there,” Seungcheol spoke his mind. He chuckled like the asshole he could be.
“Shut up, will you?” Jeonghan snapped. 
“Jealous?” Seungcheol patted his back. 
“Am not!” Jeonghan screeched a little too defensively.
Seungcheol shook his head, doing his best to suppress his growing grin.
“Then answer me this,” Seungcheol started, “For some reason, despite not knowing much about her, despite her ‘blowing you off,’ there’s a piece of you that still wants to get to know her better. Am I right?”
Jeonghan paused for a moment, considering his friend’s words. Never had Seungcheol made him feel so conflicted. It wouldn’t make sense for him to want to get to know you better after that rude encounter, but the tension from earlier was . . . thrilling? Also, in your defense, you weren’t exactly intentionally rude – he had accused you first of flaking on him, still unclear if you actually did or didn’t. It was kind of addicting and a piece of him was curious as to how far he could push you and vice versa. 
An enigma he couldn’t resolve. 
“I-I guess?”
Seungcheol clapped suddenly, each one staccato and slow. “And so, Yoon Jeonghan meets his match.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jeonghan asked. 
Seungcheol shrugged, “You’ll see – only time can tell.”
That’s what she said. 
. . . .
“How did Jeonghan get my phone number?” 
“He did?”
“Apparently, he did – but I didn’t.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You tell me.”
Wonwoo shrugged. 
“You said he was into me.”
“What about you? Are you into him?”
Silence.
. . . .
It’s the early spring, a month before graduation, when you see each other again – much to Jeonghan’s dismay. 
Many things have changed, one of them being that Dami and Soonyoung started dating a couple of weeks after their traumatic encounter on the ice. They’re sickeningly cute, but the important thing was that they made so much sense. Though they were still early on in their relationship, it could very well just be the ‘honeymoon phase,’ but fights were far and few between. They were two wholesome souls with hardworking drives, lifting each other up, yet also somehow knowing what the other needs. All it took was a simple glance from across the room, Jeonghan would imagine some sort of telepathy going on between them before Soonyoung waddled over Dami and whispered a few words to her, her glum expression brightening instantaneously and vice versa.
Even Jeonghan couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy at the sight of them. A part of him was envious. Not in a toxic sense, but also longing when he’d meet his soulmate like that – not that he was some hopeless romantic and believed in soulmates or anything (he’d like to think had some agency in choosing his partner, rather than leaving it up to the good old hands of fate), but there was a nice feeling to the thought of being with someone who just got you like that. 
Many things had also not changed, the main one being his perennial quest to get close to you. 
Or perhaps rather, the lack thereof. 
Jeonghan spent the last several months debating if he should contact you again. You blocked his number; would it be right of him to slide into your Instagram DM’s? You didn’t follow one another, however, which made things all the more complex.
Yet, your last few words lingered in the back of his mind: Life is full of surprises, Yoon Jeonghan. Only time can tell.
What did that even mean? Were you hinting at him to pursue you? Was that your way of avoiding him?
Ironically, Jeonghan relented and decided to leave this up to fate. Seungcheol urged him to reach out to you, claiming the worst thing you could say to him was ‘no’, but Jeonghan wasn’t sure he could handle that currently – not when you left off on such a weird note. 
Maybe whatever gods out there were on his side, however, because Jeonghan ran into again at a karaoke bar. The two of you had more mutual friends than you thought – or rather really, you ended up being Wonwoo’s plus one to all these things, showing up glued to his hip. 
Neon color lights dance across the dark room with tacky, faux leather orange benches, as Minghao and Seokmin sing a trot rendition of Beyonce’s ‘All the Single Ladies,’ the latter somehow acquiring a sogo drum and beating an out of tune rhythm across the room. You were tucked away in a corner wedged in between Wonwoo and that handsome man from the chalet again. Despite the lively energy, you were only quietly swaying, seemingly lost in another world. The handsome man (Jeonghan had come to learn that his name was ‘Baekho’) whispered something in your ear every now and then, maybe checking up on you, but you’d only respond with a tight smile, quick to divert your eyes from him to your hands. Jeonghan couldn’t decide if it was out of coyness or you weren’t truly up to being here tonight. 
Jeonghan didn’t try to sit next to you when he arrived. For one reason being he’d arrived late so you were already settled and didn’t pay mind to him. The other reason being he didn’t want to raise suspicions trying to wedge himself between you and Baekho. 
Just what was exactly your relationship with Baekho? With how he seemed to whisper so tenderly to your ear, Jeonghan was almost inclined to think you were dating, but your eyes seemed so . . . hollow? It wasn’t quite the same as the way Dami’s orbs lit up when she saw Soonyoung. 
“Quit staring,” Seungcheol elbowed Jeonghan, interrupting his musing. Jeonghan winced, shooting Seungcheol a dirty look. 
“I wasn’t,” Jeonghan remarked. 
Seungcheol waved off his friend. “You should go talk to her – or at least say ‘hi.’”
“And why would I do that?” Jeonghan retorted stupidly, instantly regretting the words that just spewed from his mouth. 
His best friend gave him an incredulous look. “This is the first time you see her in months and that’s what you’re telling me? Please! You’re about to burn holes into Baekho’s head with those laser eyes of yours – no one is not not noticing the way your eyes keep lingering over to them.”
“Who am I to interfere with whatever they have?” Jeonghan waved his hand at some abstract object in the air as if it represented your relationship with Baekho. 
“Yoon Jeonghan – that’s who,” Seungcheol shoved him roughly, nearly sending him sailing out of his seat. 
“Hey!” his footing stuttered and if it weren’t for his fast, he would’ve face planted into the table.
“Go!” Seungcheol hissed. 
Eyes were already starting to linger on Jeonghan, the young man having no choice but to play it cool like he was getting up to go somewhere. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught you looking at him momentarily, heating his spine up and making him feel stupidly giddy. He let out a quiet cough, relaxing his shoulder and slipping his hand into his jean pocket, stepping over people’s feet in your direction. 
If he can’t put himself between you and Baekho, he’ll just ask Wonwoo to scoot over – no biggie, right?
Jeonghan was only about two steps away when he opened his mouth to greet you. However, you were quick to ignore him, shifting out of your seat and pointed to the exit of the karaoke room, whispering something quick to Baekho. He stood up, making room for you to leave and you scurried towards the opaque door. 
Well, fuck.
 “Your luck is terrible,” Wonwoo remarked. He scooted over to make room for Jeonghan. With a heavy sigh, the bleach blonde man flopped into the empty spot. If the others weren’t now belting Justin Bieber at the top of their lungs, you would’ve heard the hard impact between Jeonghan’s body and this godly uncomfortable bench. 
“Well, gee – thanks, like I didn’t know,” Jeonghan replied sarcastically. 
“I’m . . . impressed, honestly,” Wonwoo crossed his arms over his chest. 
“About what?”
“You’ve never been hung up on someone for this long – let alone, not make a move,” Wonwoo explained further. 
“Well I mean, I kind of left a sour taste in her mouth,” Jeonghan noted. 
Wonwoo tilted his head to the side, glancing at his friend from the side. Jeonghan ceased to notice, both due to the way the light from the flat screen was dancing across his glasses and he was simply lost in his own heartsick musing. 
“What did you do?” Wonwoo asked carefully. 
“Didn’t she tell you?” Jeonghan scoffed. “I confronted her about her blocking my number.”
“She blocked your number?” Wonwoo said slowly – asking more than he was stating. 
Ugh – why was he was playing stupid? Jeonghan thought you were good friends!
“Yeah,” Jeonghan kicked at the linoleum with the toe of his sneaker. “Shouldn’t you know that?”
Wonwoo kept a straight face, only nodding. He quietly noted that maybe he just forgot – he was busy these days. However, what Jeonghan doesn’t know is that Wonwoo was finally and slowly putting all the pieces of your prefatory love story together.
Oh, how miscommunication was an amazing plot tool. 
“You should go check on her,” Wonwoo nudged Jeonghan after a moment. 
“Huh?” Jeonghan knitted his brows together. “Why?”
Wonwoo shrugged. “She’s been gone for a bit – said, she went to get air. Tell her I sent you.”
Jeonghan narrowed his eyes on his friend. Just what was he playing at?
Wonwoo leaned in close, “Or would you rather me ask Baekho to go check on her?”
That was the impetus Jeonghan needed, snapping out of his suspicious daze and getting up from his seat. 
It was now or never.
. . . .
You don’t seem to notice Jeonghan when he tumbled out the front door of the karaoke bar, leaning against the red brick wall, eyes trained up in the sky. Jeonghan looked up briefly to see what you were looking at, only to note the gray heavy clouds blocking the moon and the stars. The streets were starting to become more dynamic as people were filling up the streets. Young couples giggled, hand-in-hand, groups of friends bellowing out in laughter at inside jokes, while elderly shop owners pitched their tent – their grills starting to heat up the grease that were just slathered across them. 
Yet, you only continued to sigh and look at the sky, your vibe not quite matching the eccentricity of what was going on inside or outside. 
Jeonghan neared you, hands tucked in his jeans still, scuffing the dark pavement as he called out, “Hey.”
You look down and to the side at the sound of his voice. 
“Hi,” you greeted him with a tight smile before looking away. 
He teetered on the balls of his feet. “Whatcha doing out here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” you said. This sent Jeonghan back to your conversation at the skating chalet. However, your tone is less lively and playful this time – half-hearted. 
“It’s rude to answer a question by asking another question, you know?” Jeonghan joked. 
You chortled softly, “It wasn’t actually a question.”
Jeonghan took another step towards you, opting to stand a few feet away from you, side-by-side. “Same difference.”
Neither of speak further, letting silence envelope you both once more and suddenly it just felt like him and you in this little space despite the night coming alive around you. The silence is different this time though, in that rather than tension, there was comfort – a mutual, unspoken understanding that it was just needed. 
Jeonghan almost relished it, until his intrusive thoughts remembered–
“Wonwoo sent me to check on you by the way,” he blurted. 
You smile small, “That bastard.”
“Huh?”
You looked up at Jeonghan. “Well, you checked up on me,” you gestured back to the building behind you. “You can go back – I’m okay.”
Jeonghan cocked his head slightly at you, a crease forming between his brows as he takes you in. There was a bite to all your responses, but it lacked your usual flair. He’s not sure what it was exactly, but something told him maybe, you weren’t as okay as you led onto be. 
“What?” you asked when he didn’t reply or move. 
Sometimes, maybe it was better not to think too hard about it, Jeonghan decided. 
Maybe, he just needed to do what felt right. 
“Do you . . .” his voice trailed off as he hesitated for a moment, but he picked up right again. “Do you wanna go for a walk actually?”
You were taken aback, shoulders settling back and your faux smile falling into a small pout instead. 
Despite his cool and collected demeanor that he hoped he was displaying, in his head, he was quietly chanting, “Please say yes,” as if it was a mantra that would trance you into going on this walk with him. 
Maybe it does work, however, because even though you don’t say ‘yes,’ you take off in a direction without him. Jeonghan froze momentarily, in disbelief and relief, jaw slack and small breath escaping his lips. 
You must’ve sensed the lack of his presence behind you because you spin around, your jean pleated skirt twirling prettily in the process. 
Cocking your head at him, you simply asked, “Coming?”
Maybe, Jeonghan should leave it up to fate more. 
(Or just Wonwoo.)
. . . .
Fate was cruel. 
And Jeonghan was over dramatic and impatient – at least, in Seungcheol’s eyes. 
The walk that evening was rather uneventful, but it gave Jeonghan hope – so much damn hope. Initially, Jeonghan only tailed you until you asked him why he was doing that and he jogged to walk beside you. Naturally, your footsteps fell in sync, Jeonghan wondering if he was the only one who noticed. Far and few words were exchanged like at the skating center, but neither of you minded. Like prior, the silence was tranquil, bringing a sense of calm and comfort to the both of you. You seemed to relax, a genuine smile springing on your face as you passed various shops, eyes lighting up at the sight of the few bakeries and the few childish remarks of trinkets in the windowsill. 
To be frank, and Jeonghan wasn’t always, even with himself, you were fucking adorable – and he wanted to know this feeling more. This sensation that melted his heart every time his gaze flickered over to you, this joy that fills his body and courses through his veins; yet despite all this heart fluttering sensation, there was a sense of simplicity and effortlessness that accompanied it all. It made him feel like he could do this . . . for a long time. 
Maybe he was insane and beyond himself – he hardly knew anything about you, but he liked it. He wasn’t sure he felt this way before. He was a non-believer of love at first sight, but a piece of him wanted to defy this reality he knew. He wondered if this is how Soonyoung felt about Dami on the regular. 
Jeonghan doesn’t find out why you were feeling down earlier that evening. Jeonghan doesn’t ask to exchange Instagram’s with you. Jeonghan doesn’t ask when he will see you again because he knew he would – he had to. 
He reveled about you to Seungcheol. The short twenty minute walk felt like a lifetime; when it came to a halt and you arrived back at the karaoke bar and how he didn’t want to go inside, but he did anyway. He wondered what you did the next day and the day after. Did you go back to those bakeries with anyone? Did you buy that scarf you were eyeing through the clear glass?
But okay, maybe it was a mistake to leave it all up to fate. The thrill of it was quick to fade and entered misery and longing. 
Jeonghan didn’t meet you again until graduation.  
Countless, prolonged, corny speeches about the future and hard work given, long lines of people waiting for their empty diploma cases passed, a flurry of black caps thrown, tears cried, cheers shouted, and hugs exchanged later, Jeonghan spotted you in the middle of an aisle by yourself. You were waving good-bye to a classmate before you turned to walk down the path of green grass alone. Eyes trained on the ground, one foot in front of another, you unknowingly made your way towards him. There was a smalling, toothless smile on your face slowly fading with each step. 
You must’ve sensed his presence because you stopped a few feet away. The smile returned, making Jeonghan’s heart skip a beat. His face mirrored your own, the world seeming to fade around the both of you once again. 
“Hey stranger,” you quipped. He was holding his graduation cap in one hand. You note how his roots were showing, the bleach blonde growing and now shading over his eyes. 
“Hey,” he greeted. Folding his hands behind him, he took a few steps closer towards you. He tipped his head forward, “Congratulations.”
You saluted him and sent a playful wink in his direction. “You likewise.”
Jeonghan chuckled. His eyes wandered up to the sky a bit as his next question formed. How did he ask this without making it too obvious?
“What are your plans after all of this?” Jeonghan asked. He held his hands out, gesturing to the field of new graduates greeting their friends and family joyfully. 
“Um,” you chuckled, “Dinner with my family probably?” You scratched your head and looked around for them briefly before turning back to him. Your lips parted to ask ‘you’, but Jeonghan beat you to it.
“No,” Jeonghan chuckled, waving you off, “I meant like . . . future-future – career plans and all.”
“Oh,” you said, your voice much softer now. “That.”
Jeonghan tilted his head curiously. 
“I’ll be . . . around,” you pressed your lips together and chuckled softly, “Um . . . I’m honestly not sure – what I had planned, didn’t pan out.”
There was a flash of worry across your face – Jeonghan probably presuming you were thinking he thought you were pathetic and a failure. However, that was not how he felt. If anything, his heart panged for you a little. He didn’t claim to know what you were feeling, heck, he hardly knew much about you still – Jeonghan would like to think he knew a thing or two about disappointment. 
“C-can I?” he stammered. He opened his arms for you slightly, quietly asking for a hug. 
Your eyes widened. “U-um.” Your feet were already clumsily tripping over one another towards him though. 
Jeonghan pulled you in, your lips pressed into the shoulder of his graduation gown. Initially tense in his hold, with each breath, his woody cologne overwhelming your senses, the hug became more bearable . . . comfortable. You relaxed, bringing your hands up around his waist. You felt him patting your back gently as if to quietly reassure you. 
“The world doesn’t just end because one plan went awry,” he offered. 
You snorted and joked,  “Just what I needed – another speech on resilience.”
Jeonghan pulled away, grinning at you really hard. He could’ve sworn he probably looked like an idiot, but he didn’t really care – this could be the last time he saw you ever. 
“The world has a funny way of working out,” Jeonghan pressed on. “Fate . . . it isn’t too bad – most of the time.”
“Darling!” you heard your mother call from behind you. Instantly, your cheeks grew hot, already envisioning 101 scenarios as to how this conversation would go with Jeonghan meeting your family like this. Your mother in particular, was a fickle woman who had a lot of predictions. 
“There you are!” your younger brother jumped on you, hooking his arm around your neck. 
“Congratulations!” you heard one of your cousins shout as well, wedging celebratory balloons between you and Jeonghan. 
Jeonghan chuckled to himself. His heart sinking a little – maybe this is all you and Jeonghan would be to each other. 
“Who’s this, Y/N?” your mother asked, of course, first of all people and things. She gestured to Jeonghan. Her eyes were curious, scanning him up and down. 
Your younger brother released you and you straightened yourself out. You waved for Jeonghan to hold up his hand to greet your mom. 
“Mom, this is Yoon Jeonghan, my uh . . .” 
What were you two exactly?
“Friend,” Jeonghan finished for you. “Y/N’s friend – we met through Wonwoo.”
“Friend?” your mom repeated suspiciously. 
“Friend,” Jeonghan nodded in reassurance. 
“Friend,” you said again – it left a funny taste in your mouth though. 
“Well, pleasure to meet you,” your mom took his hand. Your dad, a kind, but quieter man, followed shortly after. 
After some small talk, Jeonghan excused himself from your family, explaining he needed to find his own. He gave you one last longing look when he said goodbye, sending you off with a small wave of his shoulder. It was accompanied by a tender smile; a bittersweet tint to his eyes. It made your heartache a little, a sense of panic overtaking you when your family pulled you away.
You decided, you didn’t want this to be the last time you saw Yoon Jeonghan. 
Yes, perhaps, he did mention moving to another city for his new job, but that didn’t matter. You didn’t want to lose this chance. 
You asked your cousin to lend you a pen and hastily rip out a scrap of the placeholder in your diploma (it wasn’t your actual degree anyways – that would be coming in the mail after your finals were graded). Quickly, you scribble your phone number onto it. Folding it up, you excuse yourself briefly from your family, not caring if your mom noticed and would lecture you later about how girls shouldn’t make the first move and that if Jeonghan liked you, he would’ve already asked you out. 
“Jeonghan!” you shouted. 
He turned around, a few steps away from who you presumed was his family. They also tuned in, eyes turning to observe the interaction. 
He was smiling, though evidently confused. 
Pressing your lips into a thin line, you marched towards him and held up the folded paper in your hand, gesturing for him to take it. He didn’t take it. His eyes only flickered from you then the paper, then back at you. 
When he doesn’t make a move, you reach for his wrist, pressing it into his palm and folding his fingers over, ignoring the way your cheeks felt ablaze.
“See you around, Yoon Jeonghan.”
. . . .
[Jeonghan]: You fucker
[Wonwoo]: Excuse me?
[Jeonghan]: [insert image]
[Jeonghan]: Your handwriting is HORRENDOUS!
[Jeonghan]: It was a 4 not a 6!
[Wonwoo]: LMAO
[Jeonghan]: Fuck you
[Wonwoo]: Hey – think of it as part of the plot. You’ll thank me later. 
[Jeonghan]: Whatever
[Wonwoo]: Well???
[Jeonghan]: ?
[Wonwoo]: Are you just gonna curse me or are you going to text her!?
. . . .
[Uknonwn number]: Hi 🙂
[Unknown number]: This is Yoon Jeonghan – please don’t block me!
[Unknown number]: . . . um hello?
[Unknown number]: omg did i fuck this up again
[Y/N]: [your message not delivered]
[jeonghan]: well fuck. 
[Y/N]: Haha – jk. 
[Y/N]: Hi Jeonghan 🙂
. . . .
You and Jeonghan found yourselves texting daily and calling nearly nightly. It started out as simple banter, but evolved to mundane questions of what you ate for lunch to 3AM discussions ranging anywhere from your post-bac thesis to whether straws had one or two holes. 
The calls at night were short on the weekdays, but they were disgustingly long on the weekends. Rather than going out on Friday nights, Jeonghan would make excuses to not go to the bar with his new colleagues as to just be able to talk with you on the phone for hours and hours. At some point, they caught on that Friday nights were reserved for you, teasing him about the much anticipated call as they left the office. Jeonghan being the seemingly transparent and nonchalant man he is, just chuckled and brushed it off. 
Typically, he’d give you a ring around 8PM on FaceTime. He’d watch you cook, maybe even eat his delivery while you ate dinner, and you’d talk for hours thereafter about everything and nothing into the early morning hours, only stopping when you drifted off to sleep or he claimed he was aging prematurely and was tired. 
“Hey, can I ask you something?” you whispered into your phone one evening. His end of the call was already dark, only a lamp in the distance illuminating his features. You peaked up to see him keeping one eye open underneath his bed of hair that was an ashy sombre now, blending his dark roots with a more neutral blonde. 
He hummed softly, signaling he was still there. “Technically, you just did.”
You chortled. “Prick – maybe I won’t.”
“I’m kidding,” he raised his head to look at you. Sleep was heavy on his eyes, his lids weighing down. “What’s up?”
Biting the inside of your cheek, you decide to forgo the question that has been haunting you recently. You opt to redirect the conversation in another direction instead. 
“I got an internship,” you told him. 
This truly woke him off. “What? Y/N, that’s amazing! Congratulations! Where at?”
“Park Consultants,” you told him, “But, I’m not sure I should take it.”
“Love, what?” Jeonghan said, confused.
You pretend to bury you face in frustration, but you were really trying to hide the way your lips wobbled at the nickname: Love. 
When did the two of you get this far?
Despite things going well between you and Jeonghan, there were always those thoughts that lingered in your mind. 
It was clear, there was nothing ‘just platonic’ about your relationship, as Wonwoo had pointed out several times. “Just get married already!” he’d joke. 
Yet, the unconventional nature of it, made you wary. 
It was only when Jeonghan moved away did the two of you become closer and it didn’t sit well with you. You remember vehemently telling Dami you couldn’t do long distance relationships – you had trust issues and were the jealous type. Yet, here you were glued to your phone most times of the day you weren’t working to talk to him. Your perspective of him was limited to a small rectangular screen – was he really who he presented himself to be? Your mother had always warned you about men like Jeonghan too – charming and playful with a smooth tongue, but snakes behind your back. You wondered if he was seeing someone else. In technicality, it was within his right; the two of you weren’t anything in particular. She also told you once that girls should not initiate, but be pursued – at least from graduation on, that was definitely not your story. 
“I wonder,” you stabbed your wooden spoon into your ice cream turning to Wonwoo, “Could it be that I just . . . like him because he reassured me at my lowest?”
You and Wonwoo had met up for ice cream. Tonight, Jeonghan’s family was visiting him, so he had told you ahead of time he couldn’t call as he would be spending time with him. The topic of you and Jeonghan resurfaced and you needed a reasonable sounding board. 
“What do you mean?” Wonwoo sniffled, feeling the tip of his nose grow cold from the chilled treat. 
“I just don’t want to end up being one of those girls who fall for someone because he was like, my ‘knight in shining armor’ who whisked me away when I was a damsel in distress,” you explained. “Graduate school didn’t quite pan out – I had just gotten rejected when we went on that walk that night we went to the karaoke bar and then graduation. I’m just worried I’m swooning for the wrong reason. I don’t want my relationship to be hinged on pity and depending on him.”
Wonwoo snorted, much to your surprise. Your expression was quick to change into a scowl. “What?”
“Are you hearing yourself right now?” Wonwoo pushed his glasses up the ridge of his nose. “When were you ever a damsel in distress? And if anything, Jeonghan was never and will never be anyone’s knight in shining armor.”
“I don’t think you get it,” you muttered, picking at the clump of cookie dough. 
“Yes,” Wonwoo swallowed the ice cream left in his mouth before continuing. “You may have met him at your lowest, but that’s not what matters. He didn’t save you and you didn’t save him. Neither of you needed saving to begin with – you’re both capable of picking yourselves up in the situation as shown.” Wonwoo held out his hands, “The way I see it, he was the first person you could readily be vulnerable with and that is what matters. Someone you feel safe with – amidst other things of course. Y/N you could hardly meet up with me that week and Jeonghan did it in the matter of seconds. I think that says something.”
“But you know, my mom said–”
“Fuck what your mom says – trust yourself for once, okay?” Wonwoo rolled his eyes. To his defense, you’ve spiraled about your mother’s expectations for you to him many times before and it was tiring. It was rare that Wonwoo just swore like that. “Maybe he’s not the stellar, perfect future son-in-law she has preached your entire life, but that’s okay. Trust him – trust Jeonghan. Despite his annoying antics sometimes, he’s a good guy – he’s always been. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out.”
. . . .
Jeonghan returned to the city almost a year and a half later for the holidays. The both of you try to arrange for plans to meet up, but in the spirit of the holiday season, timing doesn’t quite work out right due to family. Jeonghan invited you to his family Christmas party, but you suddenly became bashful, unsure of how he’d introduce you to his immediate family, let alone his cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. 
Friend? Girlfriend? Friend girl?
You declined politely, explaining to him it was too overwhelming. Gratefully, Jeonghan was understanding, promising to stay in town a little longer after the New Year’s for you – it made you feel all weird and tingling inside. 
Like you were special. 
Nonetheless, you were fated to meet once more before that as Minghao and his now fiance threw a New Year’s Eve party at his penthouse and you were both invited. You were unsure if Jeonghan would make it, however, as he mentioned his younger sister had a small celebration she wanted him to attend. You end up third wheeling Soonyoung and Dami to the party as Soonyoung offered to drive, but mingle amongst the others. 
Just as you’re finding yourself getting more immersed in your conversation with Seungcheol and his girlfriend, the lighthearted and drunken banter regarding his tattoo experience was interrupted by a nerve wracking, but familiar, presence. Someone’s hand slipped around your waist, a warmth blooming across your body, the silver long-sleeved dress seemingly not so warm. Smile fading, you turn to the figure standing in the once empty spot on your left to find Jeonghan occupying the space with a playful smirk stretching from ear-to-ear. He gives Seungcheol an apologetic look and then pulls you closer into his side. The latter grinned, raising his cup in greeting and a silent good luck.
Despite his flirtatious advances, there was a glint of alarm and plea in his eyes. Your lips parted to question him, but he doesn’t let you. Instead, Jeonghan leaned forward, turning his head to better dip into the junction of your neck and shoulder. Whether it was intentional or unintentional, his lips grazed against the shell of your ear. The waft of soju about him stung your nose; the warm, small breeze from his small, hesitant breath made you shudder. You gripped your own red solo cup a little tighter, crinkling the edges in the process. 
There was no ‘hello’, ‘I missed you’, and no wave. He simply leaned in and asked, “Dance with me?” His voice was low, loud enough just for you to hear as if he was sharing a secret no one else dares to know. 
He was wiggling his eyebrows playfully when he pulled back to look at you. The way he tugged you towards the crowd in the living room, fingers hooking tightly with yours, told you there really wasn’t a choice. 
Whether you want to or not, you were going to dance with him. 
Jeonghan handed off his red solo cup to a random presumed man standing by, chatting up a girl in a strapless silver mini dress. The stranger looked confused, but Jeonghan didn’t mind – his eyes were trained on you, as if you were the only person in the room. The bodies bumping into him didn’t seem to bother him; his grip on your hand was unrelenting, fearful to lose you amidst the sea of intoxicated party goers. His roguish expression made your breath hitch; you had to consciously remind yourself to breathe. 
Your musing was interrupted by Jeonghan’s sudden pull. Swiftly, your feet tumbled over one another and before you could register, you were flushed against his chest. Jeonghan brought up his hand, ghosting against the small of your back until his arm is fully wrapped around your waist.
“What are you doing?” you muttered, pressing a hand to his chest. 
He grinned like you were the only thing at this party that brought him joy.
“That’s no way to greet a friend after so long,” Jeonghan frowned. 
“Neither is sleazily dragging me onto the dance floor,” you faked a pout, “Consent in this day and age is sexy, Jeonghan.”
“Like you’d say no to dancing with me,” he teased. “But if you insist,” he stepped back and gave you a knowing look. “Would you like to dance with me, Miss Y/N?”
You giggled girlishly, nodding and extending an arm for him to come back. 
He had a point – you’re not sure what you wouldn’t let Jeonghan do at this point. 
The music suddenly slows, the fast and heavy beat melding into something mellower. 
Fate was cruel, but sometimes, it was nice. 
(Or maybe Wonwoo just requested Jihoon to DJ a slower song – just a thought.)
“How’ve you been?” Jeonghan finally asked. He peered at you, the lights bouncing off his dark irises. His steps slowed and you followed, rocking from side to side to meet the new rhythm. 
“You ask that as if we don’t talk every day,” you remarked. You’re embarrassed, nonetheless, turning your head so you don’t meet his eyes. 
“It has been precisely fourteen days and,” Jeonghan peered at his watch quickly, “twelve-ish hours since we last talked on the phone. A lot can happen in that time.”
“Yeah?” you challenged. “Such as?”
He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully as he came to a halt. Hand slipping down to link with your own, he ran his thumb across your knuckles as he finally caught your gaze. You were nervous – or maybe, it was just the champagne coursing through your veins. Your eyes were blown wide and glossy, breathing shallow. You were still, holding your arms close to your body. He did wonder if there was a piece of him that fucked up. 
“Could I show you instead?” Jeonghan asked. 
He didn’t wait for an answer, only holding onto your hand firmly and weaving in and out of the crowd until you met a set of stairs that led you to the top floor of the penthouse. 
Oh my god . . . he wouldn't, right?
Jeonghan moved to a room on the left, twisting the pearly white knob, and pausing briefly to make sure it was empty before entering. 
He pulled you in, shutting and locking the door behind you. It was dark – only the city lights and slivers of the waxing moon slipping through the murky white tulle curtains. It lit up a slit from the large balcony window, tracing a path to Jeonghan and you, who were now pressed up against the door. 
He was awfully close – one tip of your chin and your lips would touch. 
Wait – what!?
Why were you thinking about kissing him?
The franticness of it all must’ve been evident on your features, Jeonghan’s sly grin only growing further, eyes curving to mimic the moon. There was a wink of light in his dark brown orbs – warm, mischievous– before he pushed away, tucking his hands into his suit pants. 
“Just kidding,” he finally quipped.
You let out a small breath and ease away from the door. 
He pointed a teasing finger at you, “You were flustered, weren’t you?”
“Shut up,” you grumbled. Your palms grew sweaty and the tips of your ears grew hot. You were about to turn and open the door again, when you heard Jeonghan quietly call for you to wait. 
You spun around to face him again, finding him scratching his temple, he turned back to face you. “That’s not why I brought you here.”
“Huh?” you questioned. 
“I figured it was time to ask you, um . . . be an adult about it,” he continued. Jeonghan smiled at you, his lips in a tilt as he was amused but trying so hard to stick to the agenda. He muttered, “Wonwoo said you would never get it until I asked like this so . . .” Before you have a chance to question him again, Jeonghan sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, inhaling sharply. “Look, I’m not the best at being . . . uh, explicit about my feelings, but for you, I figured I could be, but um . . . say, uh, what do you say, love?”
And your world stopped, breath hitching. Your dress suddenly felt too tight. 
What did he just call you?! Again!
“I . . . like you a lot and I have for quite some time now, if you haven’t noticed,” Jeonghan pressed on. He exhaled deeply, letting out a quiet whoosh. Jeonghan tilted his head back and fidgeted for a moment, eliciting at a quiet chortle from you. “What if we tried this . . . dating thing? Yeah?”
The tension Jeonghan felt now was unbearable. It was different from the one at the skating chalet, different from the one at the karaoke bar. Like a rubber band pulled taut to its wits end, he was barely holding on as your quietness ensued. 
You suddenly start laughing, throwing your head back in guffaw and slapping your knee. Jeonghan was a bit scared – both just of you and what that meant. Did you not feel the same? Was he the one who got played? 
Did he really just rearrange his life to be rejected?
Heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, your laughter died down as you made your way towards him. Each step felt so long and far away, but it was only a matter of seconds before your arms were wrapped around his neck. Your fingers played with the fringes of his back hairs, eyes gazing up at him – indecipherable, if he was being honest. 
Maybe Jeonghan wasn’t as good at reading you as he thought. 
Taking him by surprise, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips. It was brief, but it burned – it was efficient if your goal was to suck all the air out of Jeonghan’s lungs in the matter of the two seconds your lips touched. 
That or he was just stunned at your boldness – it was hard to predict. 
“You look nice with black hair, by the way,” you noted when you pulled away. Your ran your hand through the front fringes, then teased them back into place. 
“What–”
You tiptoed, giving him another kiss – this one longer. He wasn’t prepared, stiff at first, but quick to lean into it and adjust himself to better slot your lips together. Jeonghan gripped onto your waist, the material of your dress bunching into his hands. 
“Took you long enough, asshole,” you muttered in between pecks when you pulled away. Jenoghan’s lips chased after you, not quite ready to let go. 
“Hey! Your best friend was the one who gave me the wrong number,” Jeonghan shot back. “We could’ve been dating two years ago.”
“Not my fault he writes like a third grader,” you chuckled. 
“He said it was for the plot.”
“Can we just stop talking about Wonwoo when we’re kissing? It feels kind of weird.”
“You know, if you think about it, he’s kind of the main character without being the main character.”
“Okay,” you pulled away, pushing at his chest lightly.
“Wait!” Jeonghan giggled, “Come back – I’ll stop.”
“If we stay here any longer, people will get the wrong idea,” you tried to come up with an excuse.
Jeonghan wiggled his brows playfully, pulling you back. “Like I care?”
. . . .
[Present]
“So, that’s why the joke was that Nina was conceived that night,” Wonwoo explained to Leah. 
“But she wasn’t because timing wise that wouldn’t make sense – I didn’t carry her for a year and a half,” you interjected. You quickly added, “We didn’t do anything either – just kissed and Jeonghan’s social battery was low so we stayed there until midnight and then I fell asleep.”
“I get that – don’t worry,” Leah waved you off. “But . . . uh, the two of you got married pretty fast then – only a year of dating, huh?”
You and Jeonghan looked at each other, gaze softening. 
“Yeah,” Jeonghan shrugged nonchalantly, “I mean that and a year and a half of missed opportunities and pining, but  . . . I dunno, it just made sense.”
You nodded in agreement. 
“That’s sweet,” Leah smiled, “I’m glad it worked out for you guys in the end and you got that job to bring you back here. Fate is so quirky sometimes.”
“Babe,” Wonwoo shoved a spoonful of chocolate cake into his mouth. His words were garbled, “Please don’t make them sentimental – they’re kinda gross and sappy when they get into it.”
“Uncle Wonwoo, mommy says no talking with food in your mouth!” Nina exclaimed. 
He gave the little girl an apologetic look and swallowed . . . without chewing. 
Three pairs of eyes widened, the little one not thinking much of it. 
“Did you just–” Y/N started, but was too stunned to continue. 
“Are you okay?!” Leah exclaimed. She passed him her own glass of water. Wonwoo wiped the corner of his mouth and smiled sheepishly, first at her then you and Jeonghan. “Please don’t choke – we’re getting married in less than a month!”
“Mommy, mommy! Can I try?” Nina exclaimed. 
“No,” you deadpanned. Nina knew that voice, going back to play with her spoon instead. 
Jeonghan guffawed, “Holy shit, I can’t believe you’re marrying him!”
Woonwoo gave him a dark look, gesturing to his daughter. Anyone who knew Wonwoo knew he didn’t like cussing, let alone, around children. “Language,” he scolded. 
. . . .
[Bonus]
“Hey, I have a question for you,” you stated as you wiped the wet cup. Jeonghan had his nose stuck in the dishwasher, making sure all the items were arranged appropriately. 
“Hm?” He waited for you to continue. 
“We all know why I fell for you, but . . . what made you fall for me? At first, that is,” you asked. “I feel like I never got a clear grasp on that.”
Jeonghan grinned, standing up from his crouched position. He stepped towards you, planting a hand on your waist. “That’s easy.”
“Is it?” you raised your eyebrows, curiously. 
He hummed and nodded adamantly. “I thought you knew.”
“Well, you’re not the most forward about everything,” you noted. 
“You remember the perilla leaf debate?” 
“Yeah.”
“It was that,” he explained, “Dami had asked and your answer was that you’re the jealous type, so you’d peel it for everyone to avoid bad vibes and hurting your own feelings – and while saying that, you were actually peeling the perilla for everyone.”
Your jaw grew slack, swatting at him with the dish towel. “That’s it?” you exclaimed. 
“I mean, it was an added bonus that you were kind of cute,” Jeonghan joked. 
“You suck.”
“What? I love the self-awareness and honesty!”
473 notes · View notes
barcalover86 · 3 months
Note
Hey!! Could you do something about reader and gavi watching the barça matches at home? I think it would be so funny to watch a match with him, he’d yell at the screen all the time like if they could listen to him hahaha and specially now that barça is not on their greatest days i feel he’d get so pissed, poor boy
Game night
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"When will the game start?" you asked while being in a big hurry.
You were waiting for the popcorn to be done while you were also making some orange juice, knowing that Pablo loves it.
"5-6 minutes." he replied.
Your hands were starting to hurt. Making your own juice wasn't easy and it took about 8 oranges so that it could be enough for you.
Or that is what you thought.
After all your hard work, it wasn't enough, and you had no oranges left now.
Gavi still had to take care of his diet, not being allowed to eat or drink sugar.
You sighed sadly, pouring the liquid into a bigger glass.
After some shouts that came from your boyfriend's mouth telling you that the game began, the popcorn was finally ready.
Thank God it was enough for both of you.
When you were done, you took the food, the water, and the juice, and immediately came to the living room, already seeing Gavi up with his hands on his head.
"What happened??" you asked confused while putting everything on the table.
"Not even 2 minutes since the game started, and they already scored a goal!"
You looked at the TV just to be shocked by how fast the other team scored.
"That's tought."
Gavi groaned in annoyance, sad that he couldn't be on the field to help his team when they needed him the most.
When he looked at the table, he had a sweet pout on his face.
"That's why it took you so long?" his tone was soft, being sad that he is unavailable for some months and that you have to take care of him.
"I'm sorry, I tried to hurry up-"
"No, I should be the one to apologise here, love. You are my girl and I should take care of you.." he interrupted you.
"You take care of me, Pablo. But right now, it's my turn, so shut up, and let's watch this game, okay?"
He smiled at you and kissed your lips shortly, but sweet.
The game was really stressful and Gavi just couldn't stay in place.
He would walk around the room, making all kinds of faces when Barca was missing or losing the ball.
When half the game ended, he tiredly hugged you, telling you how hard it is to watch his favourite football team lose.
"I just want to be on the field, y/n."
"I know, but you have to recover so that you can go there and help them win. Until there, your support is enough, love."
"Enough? They can't even pass the ball cause they lose it!"
You laughed at how his eyebrows were moving, making his face funnier.
You kissed his forehead, hugging him tighter.
The game continued and Barca wasn't getting better than the other half.
Gavi was like a couch at home, yelling at everyone for their mistakes. You were also disappointed that the team wasn't doing much and you couldn't figure it out why they are so bad .
Of course, Pablo had a big impact on the team, but De Jong and Pedri were back.
After what seemed like hours, at 89', Cancelo finally scored a goal, making it 1-1.
Still disappointing, especially since they weren't playing with a big team, but 1 point rather than 0 was a bit better.
You looked at your boyfriend who was stressing out.
"Maybe they can win. It'll be just luck at how bad they played today, anyway."
But they didn't.
Right after the players went to the locker room, Gavi took his phone and started to text everyone on the team.
You were laughing, looking at how serious he was.
He groaned before kissing you, and drinking the water that was on the table, leaving the orange juice just for you.
Oh and how angry he was when the players were taking interviews after.
"Only excuses" he rolled his eyes, making you chuckle.
Oh, how you love this boy.
324 notes · View notes
the-little-ewok · 8 months
Text
The Little Spoon
Poe Dameron x G/N Reader
Rating: M
Wordcount : 1600 (ish)
Warnings : Fluff, mentions of getting caught during sex/heavy petting, rife with teasing innuendos, soft softness, spooning, brief mentions of food, Poe being an adorable menace.
Prompt / Summary : Burying your face in their neck, listening to their heartbeat, spooning at night. / After a difficult day you and Poe try something new in the bedroom.
A/N : Anon who sent me the prompts - i dont know if fluffy was what you really wanted but… i kinda went pretty fluffy cute with this. If you were hoping more for a NSFW request please send me an ask and i’ll do an alt fic for you :)
If you enjoy this fic please don't just hit the like button. Hit the reblog button and tell me your thoughts! Support your content creators with reblogs!
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"Stop!" You half whine, half laugh, burying your face in Poe's neck.
"I don't know if he'll ever be able to talk to you again without blushing!" Poe laughs, clearly finding the fact his newest squad member walking in on you both in a, well, compromising, position, hilariously funny, and your embarrassment even funnier.
Since then poor Leru had been unable to look at you without his cheeks lighting up red, and losing all ability to speak.
"Take it as a compliment it affected him so much," Poe shrugs, taking the whole situation in his stride, as usual. "You can't change what happened, and besides you can't hide out here forever."
'Here' was the grassy bank outside the, what now seemed all too small, base entrance. You had escaped out into the humid night air as soon as your shift was over, convinced everyone you encountered knew the story and was staring at you.
Of course, they already knew that you and Poe were close, but perhaps not quite how close. There had never really been time, during the middle of a war, to consider what you were. And now you were together, both of you wanted to enjoy it without too much fuss. At least while you settled into a new routine, and Poe to his new role as General. So really, getting carried away in what should have stayed an empty office, after Poe had returned from a long mission, was not the best of plans.
But oh, he had been so distractingly hot. The way he'd smiled, his eyes flickering up and down your body, the way he'd pulled you tight against his chest, the way his lips had brushed against your skin.
It was hard to regret what happened. But you did regret getting caught.
"I can stay here as long as I like," you challenge his statement, folding your arms.
"I could just order you back inside," he shrugs with a sigh, making out it would be a huge inconvenience for him to do that.
"You wouldn't dare!" You twist to glare at him in challenge, as Poe leans back to look at you, a serious expression creasing his brow. He slowly raises one eyebrow, before he finally gives in, bursting into laughter.
"No, you're right. I like continuing to live without a vibroblade in my chest, so I guess orders are off the table!" He pulls you back into his arms, holding you tight against him.
"How about I very politely request you come back inside? We can grab some food and get an early night?"
"I don't want to go to the canteen,” you mumble, picking at a loose thread on your trousers, unable to remove the idea that everyone would be judging you.
"You know, I don't think anyone else knows? And even if they did, firstly, it's not like they saw anything personally, just second hand, and secondly, if anyone says a damn word I'll have their ass hauled in front of me faster than they can blink!" Poe states passionately.
"That's sweet. But we agreed on no special treatment."
"Not special. I'd do that for anyone talking inappropriately about anyone. You get absolutely no special treatment. I've never given you any special treatment." Taking your chin he tilts your face towards him before he places a soft kiss against your lips.
"Hmm, so you offer that to everyone, do you?"
"Well, everyone is a little broad. More like a select group. You, Finn, Rey, Snap, BB, that really cute medic we met in Yavin," he shrugs with a teasing smile as you roll your eyes. “Now stop overthinking.”
Poe was right, you were over thinking, and as annoying as his teasing could be, you know it comes from a good place in his heart. He simply wants you to see that it's not all bad. Nothing you could do now would change anything that already happened. All you could do was, as Poe does, make the best of the situation.
Still, the embarrassment gnaws a little at your thoughts, though quieter, still there for now.
"Can we eat in your room?"
"Only if we are naked," Poe grins, making you dissolve into laughter.
"Stop that, right now!" You warn through giggles.
"I've been away for almost a month! I've been storing it all up. You are in for a lonnnnnng night, baby," he winks, and for a moment, you`re laughing so hard you forget anything had gone wrong at all today.
~
"I'm sorry," Poe offers later that night, his fingers trailing up and down your back as you lay in his bed, curled up against his side, his heartbeat drumming in your ear as you lean your head on his chest, half asleep.
You hum in question, wondering what he's talking about.
"Earlier. It was my fault we got caught like that. I should have waited. I was just excited to see you and being impulsive. I’ll try and keep my hands to myself for a little longer next time.”
You lean up on your elbow to look at him, frowning in confusion and feeling the tendrils of guilt in your own belly that he feels he's somehow to blame. The last thing you wanted was for Poe to feel he couldn't be his usual, affectionate self.
"There's nothing you need to apologise for. We were both willing participants. I was excited to see you too. You’ve no idea how much I missed you."
Poe's hand slides around the back of your neck, pulling you down to him as he mumbles, "I missed you too, baby," against your mouth before he kisses you.
When he finally lets you go, you have to take a moment, feeling a little giddy, whether with love or lack of oxygen, you aren't sure.
"Anyway, I like you being impulsive," you assure him with a soft smile.
"Then I rescind my apology," Poe chuckles as you snuggle back down against his side, trying to get comfy again.
Except now you have a problem. No matter where you place yourself, you can't quite get comfy enough to fall asleep. Something just feels wrong.
You let out a noise of annoyance, sitting up.
"Turn over," you instruct, laughing as Poe raises a questioning eyebrow, his lips upturning in a familiar grin.
"Is this going a sex thing? Because you know I can stay awake a little longer. I'm sure I can help tire you o-"
"Get your mind out of the gutter," You laugh, cutting him off and pressing your hands against his arm, trying to manually roll him over, onto his side.
"So it's not a sex thing? I'm disappointed," Poe sighs over dramatically, ignoring your pathetic attempts to move him.
"I want to cuddle you!" You explain with an exasperated sigh.
"Oh, that's what we are calling it these days? Okay, well, we can 'cuddle' as much as you like," he grins, eyes crinkling with amusement as he makes air quotes at you. You make a show of dramatically rolling your eyes in response.
"No, Poe! I mean I want to hold you!"
"Hold which bit?" He wiggles his eyebrows as you try and bite back your laughter. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, telling yourself you are grateful he's home and he just needs to get this out of his system.
When you open them again you fix him with a stern look.
"Alright, alright!" Poe holds his hands up in surrender, clearly deciding he might be pushing too far now. "You want me to be the little spoon?" He asks, obviously having known exactly what you wanted from the first time you asked.
"I want you to be the little spoon." You nod in confirmation. Poe's expression softens from teasing into something that makes your chest ache with love. It's as though the seriousness of the last few years of war drop away, and the boy Poe used to be, stares at you with hopeless adoration.
"I like that idea better," he says simply, before he rolls over with his back to face you. "But I'm still open to the sex thing." He adds, making you snort as you try to contain your laughter, knowing it will only encourage him.
Once Poe is settled, you curl up behind him, wrapping an arm over his chest, tucking your legs in behind his, cuddling up close to him as you press your face between his shoulder blades.
"Don't think I've ever been the little spoon before. I like it," Poe sighs contentedly, his hands resting over yours wrapped around his chest, holding you in place.
You smile and press a soft kiss to his back, "I like it too."
A near silence settles over you both, the only sound in the room your steady breathing as you hold each other. You can feel your eyes finally starting to drift shut, but you also know Poe is not asleep yet, as his fingers continue to gently caress your arm, almost distractedly.
“What are you thinking, Flyboy?” You mumble sleepily against his skin, not wanting to fall asleep if he has something on his mind.
"I was just wondering," he mumbles quietly, “if you think Leru is thinking about us right now?"
"Go to sleep!" You sigh against his back, feeling him shake with barely contained laughter.
"I definitely think he enjoyed it a little bit."
"Sleep!" You hiss, refusing to play into his teasing again.
There's a moment of silence, one in which you think that he's given up with the teasing and finally decided to get some rest. That is until -
"Do you think he wants to join us sometime?"
"POE!"
You can't help but smile as his laughter fills the room. Insufferable, infuriating, pain in the ass. You had missed him, so very much.
--------------
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Hiya! So happy to see another loki fan!
Could you do him and a bubbly, optimistic y/n! Real puppy dog energy, but she's also kind of clever. Like people underestimate her because they think shes ditzy, maybe loki did at first too, but she really just sees the bright side of stuff and is high energy, so they're actually really smart!
Srry this was so long!!! Have a great day!
YES! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS PROMPT SO MUCH THANK YOU♡
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- CONSIDERING THE EGO OF THIS MAN, HE DEFINETLY HAD THE GALL TO UNDERESTIMATE YOU. I mean, look at you. So bright eyed and happy, you were chatting with your fellow peers and your enemies alike knowing full well you're entering this contest that will costs the lives of many people.
- He thought you were niave really or maybe just really stupid. I mean, you often got lost in the arena, you were so unaware of your surroundings at times that you would just casually walk into objects and then proceeded to apologize to them, and overall seemed so happy and enthusiastic even though you were losing.
- He never saw your frown fall and he always found that interesting, as your fellow human was sent to Niflhiem, there was no sadness in your eyes. Obviously no one else noticed because they were too busy grieving but Loki did and thats how his interest in you starts.
- One day he corners you to ask about why you smiled despite the fact that it looked like humanity was doomed. No one knows what happened, Brunhilde just watched as you walked away and Loki followed you.
- Since then, people are so baffled by how close you and the God of Mischief are now. The way you two started talking to one another as if you weren't on completely opposite sides, decorating his nails with nail polish that you somehow acquired, and overall just glued to the hip.
- Sometimes you're a bit clumsy, like when your eyes light up when you look at Loki and run over to him, only to trip over your own feet but he just teleports and grabs you by your waist by teasing you about how clumsy you are.
- You always find his tricks amusing and even let him know what he could do to make them even "funnier", you're the only person who actually has a sense of humor because while Ragnarok was fun, everyone was so terribly serious sometimes but at least you knew how to have a little fun.
- Loves how openly affectionate you are with him, he is pretty touchy but not obnoxiously so, yeah he'll have his arms wrapped around you here and there but you're the one who just grabs his face when he floats upside down and covers it kisses or playing with his hair absentmindedly as he tells you about his latest prank he pulled.
- He also never really annoys you, even when he is being a little mean at times. The gods see it go over your head and they feel bad for you but they don't actually know when he says passive-aggressive things, you're not really bothered because you know he's a sore loser and you had just finished beating him in a game that you were simply too good at. He never goes too far but its clear he's still sulking.
- The gods aren't sure how but you've somehow managed to get Loki wrapped around your little finger almost as much as you're wrapped around his. Some gods admit that it's strange to see Loki so absent but they assume that he's just manipulating you and you just happen to be the new toy he's playing with since you seem like you mean well, but they also don't think you're all that bright.
- That doesn't mean that they don't enjoy your company, you're very fun to talk to but conversations are always cut short because of Loki's possessiveness.
- He especially hates it when Hermes mentions some boring fact about Greece and what it was like back in the day and somehow you get interested and start asking him questions and Loki just rolls his eyes in annoyance as this conversation goes on for LONGER THAN HE WANTS IT TOO.
- Zeus gets curious as to why Brunhilde lets you near the God's so much or why she let's you near Loki in general.
- Zeus: "If I were you, I'd be very concerned or at the very least, pick a new champion. Who knows what sick game Loki is playing at?"
- Brunhilde can't resist that mischievous smile and looks at Zeus with a raised eyebrow, "Really? I don't think they're really playing any games with each other and even if they were, Loki wouldn't be the one I was worried about."
The day of your fight came, everyone felt bad for you because the Gods had pitted you against their wisest diety. The humans weeped, after all, you were such a delightful soul but you stood know chance against such a revered and knowledgeable God. Göll was horrified as she started to tear up, you had become something like a big sister too her in your time here. Always comforting her after she lost her sisters and reassuring her that their sacrifices won't be in vain.
"I-I...We can't lose her too, Brunhilde!" Göll weeded. Bruhilde looked at you as you entered the ring, the both of you sharing a crimson smile.
"We won't, Göll." She assured.
While Heimdall was doing introductions, Loki was floating upside down and kicking his feet excitedly when you walked out. It wasn't uncommon for him to switch sides but for the first time since Ragnarok started, he was rooting for the humans.
"You seem quite happy. Aren't you worried about her?" Hermes noted. Loki turned his head towards him slightly: "Hmm? No. Not really. Why?"
Shiva speaks up, "Hey, I like that little mortal as much as the next God but she's...kinda out of her league this round, isn't she? I mean...look at who they're going against."
The round starts and your battlefield takes place in a clock tower where gears grinded and other mechanics clanked and clacked loudly. Your opponent looks at you smugly as you play with your divine weapon, a bouncing ball.
"I know, I feel bad for the poor God." Loki snickered, "After all, she's is quite clever when she wants to be~"
The very first thing you do, much to everyone's surprise, is throw your ball into one of the gears. The God against you taunts you for creating such a dumb mistake and you just smile at them, shrugging your shoulders carelessly.
"I can't watch this." Shiva groans, looking away. The green haired God smiled: "Aw, but you're gonna miss the good part!"
As they charge at you, you seem completely unbothered, standing still in one place. As they went to attack you, something sounds like it breaks and one of the giant gears hits the God into the side of the arena. Sending them crashing into the other gears, they try to shake it off and go after you again but realizes that one of their garments is caught in the gears, causing them to stay stuck.
Everyone watches from the screen and the God's can sense something is about to happen.
"What on Earth is going on?" Aphrodite frowned, confused as to why you haven't done ANYTHING to attack. Thor looks at Loki and narrows his eyes: "What did you mean by she was clever earlier?"
"Exactly what I said. Wisdom is fun and all if you're boring, you can know everything all you want. But cleverness is all about using the area and everything around you. Sometimes even the people." Loki smirked as he looked at the other Gods.
During your fight, the God still hasn't been able to get loose and your ball that was stopping the two gears from moving couldn't handle the pressure of being squeezed into two different directions before it finally shot out of the gears and directly at the God. With such force that their body which was struggling to be untangled now went limp and everyone gasped, the ball now having created a clean hole through the God's chest. You tilted your head as you looked at the camera, directly towards Brunhilde.
"Was that really it? I've had checkers matches that lasted longer."
The gods are horrified, unable to comprehend how their colleague could have been beaten so easily by a human like you. Meanwhile when humanity recovered from the shock, they cheered with such ferocity and excitement as you walked out of the stadium, your valkyrie appearing beside you and suffering from a killer headache and you apologized sweetly but congratulated her for being such an awesome partner.
"W-What just happened!?" Ares demanded, turning around to glare at the God of Mischief, "DID YOU HELP HER!?"
"Hmm? Oh, nah. She did it all by herself, can you believe that?" Loki grinned. Zeus grabbed him by his shoulder warningly: "Loki...if I found out you betrayed us for a mortal-"
Loki looked shocked but then laughed, his hand covering his mouth and tears nearly forming at the corners of his eyes.
"Please, don't tell me you didn't notice anything off about (Y/n)? Even I knew it but I thought you'd all see it. Although, I can't blame you, she nearly had me fooled." He sang in a know it all manner, "That's why I went to talk to her after Adam's match, after all, she was so chipper...a bit too happy. You know what she told me that day when I asked her why?"
The Gods all stayed silent, Loki kept them in suspense before quoting those exact words you told him: "that she couldn't wait to see the look on your faces when she avenged her friends."
They looked at him and then at you, who was now waving at the cameras and even blew a kiss at where Loki was.
"She...She was acting the whole time?" Hermes frowned.
"You knew?" Odin finally spoke up, rising to his full height and standing in front of Loki. Loki only lowered himself onto his chair and brought his knees to his chest, "I wasn't sure. After all, she complimented my boots right after so I assumed it was her optimism but I had my suspicions. I didn't know for sure until this battle. It's terrifying, isn't it? How she played us into just giving her a win on a silver platter."
Loki then bit his nail with a smile, a blush on his face growing as the Gods were realizing how you'd play them for fools the entire time.
"She's so perfect.♡"
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umeoniii · 10 months
Text
aot women beige flags!
٩( 'ω' )و
mikasa, hange, annie, sasha, ymir, pieck
~
mikasa:
☆ gets super sick easily
and these sicknesses literally beat her ass
she just has a super weak immune system
can go out one time then when she comes back home she’s literally stuck in bed like it’s her dying days.
a common cold for her is like the plague
it seems as if she’s an old victorian child lying in her bed asking her mother for bread and water.
☆ somehow physic
not so much now, it’s not like she has powers
but she has a ‘6th sense’ and she can tell when something bad is going to happen
first time she did it you thought she was joking around
but then she was right because the building next to you caught fire (cooking error…)
you were totally scared of her after that bcs what if she was behind it
then you forgave her (she did nothing wrong?) and tried to convince her to give you a fortune
then she proceeded to tell you that’s not what the sixth sense is for
hange:
☆ really likes playing games
hanges a sore loser though.
this is super funny
super competitive with stuff like board games and video games. and she takes it seriously.
when she loses she takes it to heart.
she’ll throw a temper tantrum and get upset and everything.
she’ll do anything to win as well. cheats and switches the game all she wants, especially when she’s actually winning. but when you try to do it it’s all “no no that’s not how you play!”
you DO NOT want to play uno with hange. enough said
☆ makes impressions of people in public.
let’s say you’re in the car parked and you see a couple sitting on the bench talking.
she’ll give them names and make a voice and act what she thinks is their conversation.
it’s far funnier than it sounds.
if she sees a couple and their friend,
“eh barbra? i didn’t know you were gonna invite your annoying friend, you know how much i hate her!” she’d snicker while staring at the three people
and there’s actually times where you hate it bcs of how unserious she acts.
sometimes she would invite you along to voice someone else
and she would just sit and laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever!
annie:
☆ bargain queen
has coupons for everything in the whole wide world
she has all the apps for everyplace she goes so she’ll get some kind of deal.
her total at the grocery store would go from $135 to $80 bcs she’s a diehard user of coupons
she makes u use them as well and stuffs some in your wallet
she’s a karen for these things as well
if the price tag says it’s ‘$3.12’ then it’s ‘$3.12’ whether the seller says “well that’s last weeks price”
she’ll say “well maybe you should’ve changed it, how would the manager feel if i told them you’re not doing youre job?”
and she’d get it for $3.12
☆ greets an animal before she greets a person
if she seems someone she knows walking their dog she won’t even look at them let alone speak to them
she’ll crouch and pet the dog and start baby talking to them before she gets up and says something to the walker
she actually likes animals a lot
more than ppl
she’d have some kind of shirt displaying that as well
“im more of a dog person than a people person”
sasha:
☆ cant stay on track in a conversation
she could be talking to you about something she heard about someone. then she’ll be like, “speaking of her i remember when me and her went out for these awesome burgers.”
THEN she’ll say “wait because i was actually contemplating going vegan…. what do you think?”
the whole convo switches topics every 2 minutes or so.
you get so confused as to how the conversation went from work drama to when she thinks the world is going to end.
☆ takes the first bite of your food
it’s an unspoken rule.
she doesn’t even say “to test it for poison” she just does it because she wants
trying something new? she gets the first bite. you haven’t ate all day? she still gets the first bite. it’s your favorite food in the whole wide world? two words: first. bite.
and it’s not even a small bite, it’s the BIGGEST chomp she could take.
you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t care. you just shove it in her face.
because if you were being honest if she just suddenly stopped you’d be concerned and sad.
ymir:
☆ cannot take some things seriously
she could be out w you at a restaurant and see this waiter’s name on their tag
“gaylord”
it’s not even pronounced “gay lord” but “gaylerd”
she’ll turn around and start hysterically laughing she doesn’t even care that the waiters right there
you can tell her a story from work or something that’s completely serious and she’ll still laugh no matter what
☆ lies out of her ass for no reason
you could tell her you tried some cool new exotic food and she’ll be like
“oh i had that when i was 5 and i almost died because i’m allergic to the spices in it”
and it’s kind of obvious it’s a lie but you don’t even say anything bcs she rides hard to defend herself and say it’s the truth
she’ll even go as far as editing photos and calling other people so it would be more believable
she sometimes doesn’t even lie to be funny but just out of habit
these aren’t bad kind of lies and she tells the truth when needed but she still b lyin..
pieck:
☆ cannot save money for her life
she can put aside some money for important stuff and it would be gone in a flash
worst part is the money is wasted on totally useless stuff
like finger puppets
what are you gonna do with finger puppets when you’re stranded for miles?
tries harder to not let it happen
then it happens again and she tries to justify it by saying that maybe a corn butterer was a great investment
(it wasn’t)
☆ can sleep anywhere at anytime
we all know this don’t we…
but it’s horrible
restaurants, floor, toilet
she could probably go to sleep in the club if she’s tired enough
she doesn’t look dead when she sleeps (unlike connie)
she looks very calm whether she’s in a deep sleep or taking a power nap
and she probably gets a decent amount of sleep at night, she just naps bcs… she wants to?
a/n: at least 3 of these stories are actually real things i’ve faced with friends and family LOL so this is so funny to me. some of these aren’t even beige flags and are lowkey hcs, let’s just pretend alr!
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icannotpickanamewtf · 9 months
Text
The Day The Music Died (Part Two)
(PART ONE)
Possessive!Spot x femSpider!Reader & Possessive!Miguel x femSpider!Reader
Summary: Spot looks for you + you are not up for chatting. Things happen. Shit goes down.
Warnings: Cursing/Sexual themes. Angst. Dark!Spot. Maladaptive behavior.
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From that day on, your very first customer, was guess who?
The fucking weirdo.
Every morning he’d come in and pull the same shit. 
Saying to open the register, the he was going to rob you, that he was going to hurt you, blah blah blah.
You honestly could not find it funnier. 
But he had a little complex about your teasing, so just to ensure the safety of the Parkers, you kept it down to a minimum. 
Which wasn’t that helpful.
Part of you even looked forward to his little dramatic entry, he reminded you of a puppy. 
It was a morning like any other, Peter in the back, Mr. Parker in his office, and you dealing with an inter dimensional supervillain that seemed hellbent on terrorizing you. 
This time, you felt a bit more generous with others so you kept your snark under control a little. You loved the fall weather that broke out in New York during September. Especially that you could dress in comfy long-sleeved sweaters. Man-made heat was the fucking dream.
“Why can’t you just let me rob you!” Spot seemed to rely on whining a lot more nowadays. 
“‘Cause that’s not as fun.” You always had a straight face and harsh tone, and you could tell that Spot had adapted to your absence of emotion. 
“Please! Please, just let me rob you this once!” 
You stayed silent as you looked at him in a daze. Spot’s confidence seemed to have increased as he got much <em>much</em> closer to you over the time he decided to target your little shop. 
Now he towered over you as he leaned over the counter. 
Was it bad that you kinda liked his height?
His weirdness was definitely rubbing off on you. 
But it made you feel something at the very least.
“Coffee? Yes or No.”
You had never bothered to ask with his constant banter, but like you said earlier, you were feeling generous. 
Spot seemed a bit flustered at your question and stuttered a bit before finally finding his words again. 
“Oh–Oh! Yes! Absolutely yes! I used to love coffee, more than tea really…Well…the thing is…I–I guess I liked it with two creams and one sugar? Four shots of espresso. Whipped cream too.” He leaned over the display as you turned your back to him to make a coffee. 
“Are you–Are you making me coffee?”
You only gave a soft noise before continuing on with your work. Soon enough, you held his exact order in your hand. 
“Shut up, please.” You thrusted the coffee into his hand, letting him wrap his hands around your right hand that held his coffee. 
Spots large palms engulfed yours completely, but for real. Like you literally could not see a bare centimeter of your hand underneath his. 
He seemed to notice with how he lingered with both of his hands onto of yours. You could even say he seemed enraptured and pleased with this new found discovery. 
“I can’t move my hand. Let go.” You were still as straightforward as always.
If he had a face, you would bet it would definitely be blushing. 
“My bad! Sorry..uh…was thinking about–villain things.” He was totally lying. 
“Yeah. Sure.” 
Spot still seemed out of his element. “Hey…I don’t have any money I can’t–“ 
“I wasn’t expecting you to pay. Don’t.” You couldn’t care less. Really. 
“Oh. Oh, thanks.” Spot relaxed and took a sip of his coffee, 
or more like poured it into his face hole. 
He made a moan to indicate how good it tasted. 
That--was…uhm…a surprise. 
Spot didn’t even realize the effect or what that noise sounded like and just kept telling you thank you between sips of coffee. 
“Don’t drink too fast. You’ll get sick to your stomach.” You weren’t worried, but you didn’t want to have to deal with radioactive–or whatever the fuck he was made out of–throw up on the floor. 
He nodded shyly as he slowed down to enjoy his coffee more. 
“Seriously…thank you. This–This is the first time anyone has…” Spot trailed off as he whispered thanks <em>again.</em>
You knew what he was going to say, so you didn’t let him finish. 
“Ok.” That was enough talking and being open for today. 
“I’m sorry for trying to rob you all this time. Would you–Do you…Do you maybe want to–“ 
Nope. Nope, you were not going to do this. You were feeling generous and this is what you get. Of–fucking–course. 
The bell chimed behind him, causing him to freeze mid sentence. 
Thank god for that annoying door for once. 
“Bye.” 
“Well! Wait–I was thinking–“ 
You literally just stepped back and pretended to check on Peter in the kitchen. You did not want to deal with--with whatever this was.
When you peaked over to see if Spot was still there, you only saw the new customer examining the muffins that lined up behind the glass. 
Walking back out, you looked at the countertop and saw a tiny folded up napkin. A note.
Nope. Nope.
You threw it out before you could think twice. 
–––––––––
The next day, when you groggily woke up from your totally amazing sleep last night--
about three hours at best,
you immediately noticed the heatwave that dripped through your body followed by an unreasonable amount of exhaustion. 
Oh, a breakdown and a cold. 
Yay.
You groaned as you rolled off the safety of your bed and picked up your phone. You called Mr. Parker. 
Mr. Parker said your name softly over the phone as you grunted out a brief hello and a quick explanation to why you weren’t coming into work, saying you were on your period. 
These…lapses…always made you more snappy and sad. Way too sad to deal with customer service.
So, you would prefer to keep your sanity and lock up inside. 
Mr. Parker was more than understanding and you could hear him shouting for Peter to man the counter for the day while he offered to work in the kitchen.   
You ended the call before he could even say goodbye and flopped back into your bed. You forgot all about Spot when your head hit the pillow and the soft fabric of your silk pajama top chilled your scalding heat.  
—————-
Spot walked into Collin’s Coffee. This time, he was going to ask her. Nothing could stop him. Hell, he was a supervillain.
What if she was secretly horrified with how he looked and just didn’t tell him?
No! She was obviously fine with that. She didn’t even flinch when he attempted to rob her for the first time a few months ago. 
Should he be concerned about that?
Too late, since he was already turning the familiar knob to enter the whimsical shop. Spot had to duck in order to fit through the door due to his height. His distorted size was one of his big stand-out features.
Your hand beneath his, covered by the pale expanse of his skin. Clutched around a coffee made for him. He could feel your small knuckles and rough callouses from being burnt from coffee machines. They were soft, natural. They felt perfect in his.
Spot looked up and almost immediately threw out his same old greeting. Expecting to see your dead-faced glare. 
Your lips looked soft, plump. He wondered what it would feel like to touch them. What it would feel like to have them on him. You always were honest and spoke to the point. What did you look like flustered? Would you shake under him? Would you hold him? Would you--
You weren’t there. 
Some kid with brown hair stood in your spot, eyes wide and jaw unhinged as he stared at Spot. 
What?
“Who are you?–“
“What are you?–“ They both said at the same time. 
It was the echoing silence that followed that left pinpricks in his skin(?). Where were you? 
“Where is she?” Spot asked after a few moments of awkward staring. 
“Are you talking about–“
Spot was starting to panic. Who was this kid? Where were you?
“Yes. Where is she.” Static started to seep into his voice and boom throughout the tiny coffee shop. 
“Woah! She’s–She’s at home!” The boy clutched the counter as waves of energy swamped him. 
“Write down her address, please.” Did that sound creepy? Maybe…but Spot needed to know that you were okay. 
You were the only normal, constant, thing in his life left. This was completely reasonable.
“What? No! You–“ The boy, or his name tag said Peter, began to object.
”Now. Address.” Spot started to leer over Peter, intimidating him with the pure strength he held behind his voice. 
Peter hastily scribbled down your house number and handed it over with shaky palms. Spot just took it from him and used a portal to travel to the door of your apartment. 
Hopefully you were alright. 
He could take care of you if you weren’t. 
This was him caring after his…well…his….
You never told him what you guys were. 
Friend?
Yeah. Friends. Like a partner in crime. 
———————
A few knocks racked your wooden door, causing you to wake up for the second time that day. 
You were not in the mood to walk the whole six feet to the front door. So you didn’t.
“–Hello? I’m coming in!” 
Was that…was that Spot?
Before you could even stop him, a black dot appeared in front of your bed and out came Spot. 
“Oh! There you are! You weren’t at work so I–“
Your pajamas consisted of a baby blue silk short-sleeved Macy’s pajama top and skimpy white lace panties that were decorated with Lillies of the valley. 
You weren’t even wearing a fucking bra. 
“Spot. I’m on my period. Relax and shut up. Leave.” You were too exhausted to even question how he knew your address.
“But do you need anything? I could–“
“I am half naked.”
This seemed to snap Spot out of his 'nanny mode' and into his 'flustered grown man mode.' But he didn’t even have the audacity to pretend to look away. 
“Oh! Oh…my bad, sorry. Yep--very sorry.” After looking at you for a bit too long of a time after you admitted your current state, he turned his whole body away from you. 
“Get out of my house. Bye.” Sure, it was a little meaner than you intended, but you genuinely were starting to get a headache. 
“No.”
“What?” You were stunned. 
What did he just say? 
Spot the blushing virgin, 
Spot the failed robber, 
the same Spot that wrung his hands together when you tease him said–
 no?
“I said no.”
Huh. So he grew some balls. But just not at the right fucking time.
“Did you not hear me. I said get the fuck out.” You allowed yourself to be a little more mean. You were starting to get annoyed. 
“You're annoying me. Leave.” 
“No. You are sick. I can take care of you. Just–“ Spot tried to reason with you, even approaching the bed that you laid on. 
“Come near me and I’ll sock you in the face.” You were done being nice. You hated being 'sick.' 
You especially hated it when others saw you 'sick.' 
You were vulnerable when you were 'sick.'
Spot wasn't having it. “Just let me help. I can get you some soup–like chicken noodle or something?”
Shut up.
“I’m vegetarian.”
Please just leave me alone.
“Then vegetable soup! I can steal some soup from the–“
Shut up.
“Don’t.”
Shut. The fuck. Up. 
“It’ll be super easy, I can just teleport–“
“Shut up. Please.” You were so confused. Why was he so adamant on this?
“Just go home.” You flipped so you no longer faced him and closed your eyes. Ignoring the problem always made it go away. 
It was silent.
Fucking finally. 
But weirdly enough, when the echo of silence fell over your room like a weighted blanket, it felt like a stone landed in your gut. 
You felt…guilty. 
Taglist: @arachnagirl--spidergirl
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ryuichirou · 3 months
Note
lout of the twst cast, who would you consider the sluttiest to, well, the least sluttiest?
There is probably a much easier way to answer your question, but I simply MUST conduct a research, Anon.  Because while I was thinking about it, I started wondering: who Is a slut? What does it mean to be slutty? And how does one determine who is sluttier?
Here is what I came up with: I’m going to go through all the characters and judge them on the following parameters: promiscuity (willingness to have sexual relationship with multiple people during a short period of time/being open to the idea in general), flirtiness (tendency to flirt without necessarily making serious advances), sex-drive (interest in sex in general) and kinkiness. Why these factors? Well I don’t know, it’s just funnier that way.
So yeah, I’m going to give the boys points from 0 to 5 for each of the aforementioned things, and then we’ll have a full and conclusive 100% accurate list determining who is the biggest slut in the twst universe.
Oh, and it’s going to be obviously based on our headcanons + the so-called “default” state of the cast, so Idia won’t have 5 lovers in this one… sorry, Idia, you’re the biggest slut in our hearts <3
Alright, so.
Riddle
Promiscuity: 0; Flirtiness: 0; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 2.
Total: 5
And right away, Riddle is an interesting case, because in theory he is supposed to be a pure little prude who wouldn’t have sex before marriage, but with how much stuff he’s repressing already, I wouldn’t be surprised if he scored even higher than 5. Also the fact that he isn’t really promiscuous doesn’t mean that he won’t end up with multiple lovers in some scenarios, but that’s not entirely his fault lol
Ace:
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 2; Sex-drive: 4; Kinkiness: 3.
Total: 10
Not much to say about him; he isn’t really all that interested in this, having multiple partners (even if it’s just a fling) just sounds bothersome. But he’s also hormonal and definitely has a pervy side…
Deuce
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 1; Sex-drive: 4; Kinkiness: 3.
Total: 9
I know, shocking lol But I honestly don’t think Deuce would be that into messing around with multiple boys. If he ends up in a situation like this, it would be a misstep on his part… Or a petty thing that somehow got way too out of hand. But in general, he’s pretty similar to Ace, but even less flirty – he’s a surprisingly shy boy, even if he has some experience.
Trey
Promiscuity: 2; Flirtiness: 2; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 5.
Total: 12
Ah yes, the dark horse of Heartslabyul lol I feel like Trey is the type of person who could sleep around a bit due to being unable to express his feelings to his actual crush. He doesn’t seem like someone who’s super flirty, but his just has another way of flirting (more subtle?), and you never know when his flirtiness is going to jump out of him.  “It’s just sex so it doesn’t really matter” is something that Trey could think, even if he doesn’t act upon these thoughts.
Cater
Promiscuity: 4; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 3.
Total: 14
Never fucking mind, this is the dark horse of Heartslabyul lol But at the same time, I don’t think Cater has sex all that often, he’s just open to the idea. Similarly to Trey, he gets into the “it’s just sex” mindset sometimes, and since he is yet to have an actual romantic interest in someone, he probably used to have flings in previous schools as well.
Leona
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 1; Sex-drive: 2; Kinkiness: 2.
Total: 10
Don’t get too excited about the first one: Leona simply doesn’t care :( When he’s in the mood, he’s in the mood. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does happen, he might even get a liiiiiiiiiiittle flirty. Just a little bit.
Ruggie
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 0; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 2.
Total: 10
Once again, Ruggie just doesn’t care how many people he has sex with. He doesn’t sleep around much these days, but if he had to, he wouldn’t mind: it’s not like he’s loyal to anyone. He also isn’t really into flirting and stuff, but he does get horny and has some tendencies that makes him not-so-vanilla.
Jack
Promiscuity: 0; Flirtiness: 0; Sex-drive: 4; Kinkiness: 1.
Total: 5
This boy is almost pure. Almost. He has some urges, but other than that, he is a saint.
Azul
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 3; Sex-drive: 1; Kinkiness: 3.
Total: 8
Another guy for whom the idea of having multiple partners sounds like a bother and a waste of time and energy, but it’s not like he hasn’t ever thought of having multiple people who are way too out of his league fight over him only to say something among the lines of “ah I’m so benevolent that I’ll date both of you”. He is also quite kinky, but his sex-drive is a bit unpredictable. For the majority of time he isn’t into it at all, but sometimes it just jumps and makes him lose his mind a little bit…
Jade
Promiscuity: 0-5?; Flirtiness: 3; Sex-drive: 0-5?; Kinkiness: 5.
Total: 8? 18?
Speaking of fucking unpredictable, this man jumps from 8 to 18 based on how you look at him... He definitely wouldn’t mind having sex with multiple people at once; the only reason for Jade to be loyal to someone is to create a certain image to manipulate people around him. He could also be either not interested in sex at all or be even more into it than Floyd. We’ll go with the latter for now. Also, he is another character who wouldn’t do the traditional flirting, but the way I look at it is that he pretty much flirts with everyone he’s speaking to in his own way. The guy is simply having too much fun lol
Floyd
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 4; Kinkiness: 5.
Total: 18
Floyd’s also not the most stable person when it comes to these numbers, sometimes he has days when he doesn’t want to see anyone, but I guess his “default” state is 18. He is flirtier than Jade, who is more casual about it; and he definitely doesn’t mind sleeping with whoever he is into that day. I feel like any type of situations that would require Floyd to be loyal would just piss him off.
Kalim
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 3; Sex-drive: 4; Kinkiness: 2.
Total: 10
Kalim is sweet and innocent, but he is also deeply passionate and loves to love. I feel like he would feel bad for two-timing, and despite being quite a flirt, he has tunnel vision when it comes to the actual romantic attraction. He does a lot of things that could be considered romantic with others, like he could cuddle with them, shower them with presents, do all this stuff, but when it comes to sex, he is surprisingly loyal. And hungry. And super clingy.
Jamil
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 2; Sex-drive: 1; Kinkiness: 3.
Total: 7
And yet another “having multiple partners would be bothersome” person lol But it’s easier for me to imagine Jamil sleeping with multiple people if he has a reason to do so; it’s not his moral code that stops him from doing so. He is also very flirty when he has to be, and he is stupidly good at flirting, but he is not that into it. He’s also not into sex in general… but he surely does have a couple of skeletons in his closet.
Vil
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 3.
Total: 11
Vil is the main reason to have promiscuity and flirtiness as two separate things lol I feel like when Vil’s in the mood he enjoys flirting a lot. With the men that he likes, of course. He really likes teasing them, making them flustered, provoking them and stuff. But he also strikes me as someone who is very loyal, or at least not prone to having flings or several partners. Vil is also super good at keeping it together and abstaining from sex for long periods of time, but he is actually quite a passionate lover once he’s showing “this” side of him.
Rook
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 5; Sex-drive: 5; Kinkiness: 5.
Total: 20
Ah…. Wow. I didn’t even plan this. Speechless.
No comments.
Epel
Promiscuity: 2; Flirtiness: 2; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 2.
Total: 9
He is in this rebellious stage that Deuce has already left. He is still a bit clunky in terms of both romance and sexual stuff, but he wants to try everything, so at this point his parameters are this high. Overtime he might calm down… or get much worse lol depending on his experience.
Idia
Promiscuity: 0; Flirtiness: 1; Sex-drive: 1; Kinkiness: 4.
Total: 6
In general, Idia would rather jump out of the window than to even think about anything even remotely related to this direction. He’s not promiscuous because there is no way he’ll ever get even one partner, let alone multiple ones… what is he, a date sim protag? Don’t make me laugh. That would just be ridiculous.
His deep knowledge of hentai tropes is that gives him a 4 and makes him a bit higher on this list…
Ortho
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 5; Sex-drive: 5; Kinkiness: 5 ??????????????
Total: ?????
Not in a regular Rook Hunt sense, but Ortho is interested in everything, so the latter two parameters are basically him going “oh I have so much to learn about this!”, and Ortho has a huge appetite when it comes to learning. So when he is suddenly into flirting, he’ll start flirting the heck out of people, collecting all the data he could. And you know how it is with human-based research: the more data – the better!
But if I had to think about human!Ortho, I would say he’s around 0 (very loyal), 3 (quite flirty though), 4, 5. So in the final list, let’s use 12 for him
Lilia
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 4
Total: 16
Yeah, Lilia doesn’t really care about being loyal to someone, he’s just here to have fun. But at the same time, his sex drive and kinkiness used to be higher, but his flirtiness – a bit lower (I guess he used to be more of a aggressive flirter than he is now). Lilia tried pretty much everything over the course of his life, and he’s a bit calmer now… so to him this is actually a small number, but it’s still pretty high.
Silver
Promiscuity: 1; Flirtiness: 0; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 4
Total: 8
Silver isn’t a flirt, but he’s more sexually driven than he looks. It’s just that he is way too used to having sex on a regular basis, which is also why he is kind of kinky. He is also pretty loyal, but then again, Lilia did say to him that he should try things with different people, so I can picture him going for it when someone’s hitting on him.
Sebek
Promiscuity: 0; Flirtiness: 0; Sex-drive: 5; Kinkiness: 4
Total: 9
Ah Sebek, you would be such a bore if you weren’t so horny and easily provoked lol But in all honesty, Sebek’s prudeness and 0 understanding of how flirting works makes him even more hilarious. He is so helpless… So when someone who he’s into (Malleus) flirts with him, his brains shut down. And when someone he doesn’t like flirts with him teasingly, he gets so angry it actually makes him horny. He’s a mess lol
Malleus
Promiscuity: 3; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 3; Kinkiness: 3
Total: 13
It’s not like he sleeps around, and he usually clings closely to the one person that he loves, but he is also the prince which means if he wants to have someone there is no way he’ll stop just because someone thinks he should. He also really enjoys flirting with people and watching their reaction, he loves to shower in their admiration, but he also gets especially playful when they flirt back, and at some point he gets carried away, so yeah lol He is also not super obsessed with sex, but he loves it when it’s good. And kinky but to a very specific degree.
Crewel
Promiscuity: 5; Flirtiness: 3; Sex-drive: 5; Kinkiness: 5
Total: 18
He has quite a social life outside his job, okay? I’ll only add that while he enjoys pet play and dirty talk, he isn’t really a traditional flirter. People get way too clingy when he flirts with them in just a regular way… ugh, the joys of being too sexy.
Trein
Promiscuity: 0; Flirtiness: 1; Sex-drive: 0; Kinkiness: 1
Total: 2
Ah grandpa <3 Ironically, I don’t think it used to be all that different to him when he was younger. He just strikes me as someone who is not all that into sex…
Well that was a long list. Here are the results:
Uh… congratulations, Rook?
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defectivefanboy · 11 months
Note
Hey there! I’ve read a few of your posts now and I truly enjoy your writing, you’re very good at it ^^
I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.
If not, that’s completely alright! I hope you have a great rest of your day <3
~ 🕷️🕸️
yessir!! this is actually the first time (and second for good measure) that I watched Beetlejuice fully through.
I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.
Overall notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.
C/W: Cursing, Mentions of Pervertedness, its Beetlejuice, You're canonical Jesus Christ /j, or am I?, Dark humor, Possessive Alastor, Mentions of Bite marks, Dirt ball reader, just reader being gross here and there, nothing too much, youre Beetlejuice, reader has universal rizz
Notes: If you read the C/W warnings it was real late leave me alone. you'll understand when you get there. writing this my mind kept straying and just wanted to write Alastor love because god holy fuck I love him. Im an actual slut for domestic alastor I could write him all day.
The Radio Show...
Oh he's truly interested in you. Not remotely romantic or even platonically, but he is interested (at least at first)
Lets be real quick, he knows hes in hell, but what IN the hell is he looking at.
And what was that outfit you were wearing??? Did you just get out of prison prom???
But your first meeting with him was... interesting to say the least
But then again I think all your interactions are interesting (always more, never less)
But damn. He just had to think the 'sinner' was new to hell and could easily get a quick bite
Poor Alastor really thought the 'sinner' that looked around hell like a lost child as he strolled up with his uncanny smile
Last thing he expected was a jumpy, sporadic, and unfortunately a bit more then a little bit of a pervert.
The record stopped more than a few time at your comments–- Sorry Alastor.
And it had only been a few minutes of meeting you (rip)
And to be honest with you. come here. little closer
He did not know what in all of hell you were trying to pitch to him
He couldn't even get a word in with how fast you talked
And how many voices you did, you basically had a conversation to yourself.
"Ghost can't even scare humans away anymore, pfft. Can't you believe that shit. The last jack offs wouldn't even call me, I had to get some human girl to do it. Is it weird it happened twice? Second time her mom was dead! Gets funnier each time."
Oh?
Humans?
Now you have his interest
And you were able to travel to the human world
"So you're a hell born demon then, correct?" Alastor asked quirking a brow at the questionable individual in front of him, who quickly stopped talking to, well, themselves and snapped their head to him. They seemed to had just gotten here... or gotten back, as their clothes were slightly tussled and their hair was flying everywhere
With a quick dusting of your clothes you straightened your posture. Clearing your throat you spoke in a flat monotone voice. "Well, no actually, uhm, I was born in a manger inside of a barn, my mother, was a virgin and my step father Jospeh was a real piece of work let me tell you that. Died for your sins, y'know, should be thanking me."
This is the first time the radio show had gone radio silent... before he walked away.
Alastor had met a lot of demons, probably killed even more.
Hell he has even put up with that horny spider, but this was the first time he had to take a breather from another sinner? demon? enigma?
But damn it all to hell, he was curious
He had been for so long and he had only interacted with lower hellborn demons.
The occasional Goetia or hell royal would make a public appearance, but that that was all.
Never had he interacted with someone who went from hell to the human world on the daily
The first few meetings he truly tried to keep his distance, keyword tried
But you can only keep a person who teleports around at a distance for some long
Though it to end in you being pushed back by his microphone when you got a bit too close on accident more often then not
But overall he enjoys each of your meetings, enjoy being used loosely
He was more interested in the ever changing world of humans
You only get as knowledgeable of the new world as it comes in, but you have to find them
So having a way to always keep updated he truly enjoyed.
He kinda saw you as, well, while he would say a mole, as you get him information
Not that you honestly realize, you kinda just talk about random shit
He sees you as well, as uh, ahem...
"Quite the squirrelly fellow you are, aren't you?" He quipped with a smile on his face. The both of you walking along one of the many roads of hell as you talked about your latest excursion to the human world. Giving him a confused look you gave him a side eye a you spoke. "Now, what do you mean by that, hm? I don't storage tree nuts in my cheeks, I storage metal nuts in them." Taking your hand you drug into your cheek and pulled out a rusted nut before offering it to him. In which he squatted away with his microphone.
"No."
Alastor in or out of a relationship now seems like the calm one out of the pair whenever you two are together
And he always has a tilt to his head whenever he's with you as if he's always curious about your next move (well bc he honestly is)
Getting into a relationship is simple to him, but not to you.
He had to explain a few times (many times) to you that you two were on a date while out. Thank the lord he has more patience then he let's on
Truly he's only patient with you after learning he'll get no where either way
He tried threatening at one point, but it didn't work when you tried getting him to work for you in the human world.
Spoiler alert: that also didn't work
Alastor did tried to ask you out in a traditional way. Taking you to dinner, albeit at a cannibal restaurant, he really didn't know what you ate
He was disgusted when he found out, almost gagged, had to take a moment for himself
But he tried asking you out in a nice, classy, quiet place.
Spoiler again: didnt work
His question when right over your head.
"Go out? Aren't we already out? What we doing then? How more out do you wanna be? Gotta say though, never been to a place this fancy, must got some walking cash, huh? You know we could start a business together I be the brains, face and you can be..." You droned on as your hand flared around as you spoke. Alastor stared at you as static rumbled from his chest, one eye twitching in annoyance. Sighing he shook his head as he stared with a smile. Maybe you didn't understand what he was asking, or maybe you did. To be honest he doesn't know how much you know, but maybe letting you go on about whatever it is you're planning and get a deal out of you.
Nothing big, just a small pact that you two are "partners."
Cheeky Bastard.
He did tell you eventually someday, he's not heartless
Don't mention that it was after he had convinced you to move in his home (or apartment?? he staying at the hotel?? like??)
But it's another story for getting you to take a shower or a bath.
While Alastor isn't a clean freak or anything he much rather keep his house clean and smell free.
Alastor had quite a few sleepiness nights when you decided to sneak into his bed without a shower.
He almost banned you from the house until you agreed to take a shower after 'work'
now onto the good part
While he doesnt enjoy physical touch from anyone, only part taking in it when he's making someone uncomfortable
He settled on the fact you were gonna keep making every effort to get into his personal space
You only found out he enjoyed having you near him when your items from the guest room you had been staying in were now in his room
Be it having a hand placed on the middle of your back or letting you fiddle with his fingers as you talk
He always finds a way to get a touch in on a daily basis
What can he say? he likes to have a hold on what's his
That's another thing
He's a possessive lover, or person in general but ignore that right now
He just doesn't understand
Why do you have so much rizz
Both sinners and hell born demons seem to love you
And he hates it
Loathes it
If we wanted to get Nsfw real quick
He likes to leave bites and marks on you so even humans know where you belong <3
Going back to sfw
On the outside, beyond the walls of his home. He's well, he's Alastor
Cunning, Cruel, and Evil
But inside? .......Hey Siri, can you domestic a deer?
We already know he enjoys cooking, his mothers recipes are always a hit. He does have to convince you to eat something if it's new.
But he's decently domestic within the comfort of his own walls. As domestic as he can be will a feral dog in his home now. At least you're potty trained, right? Right??
He always enjoyed being alone, especially when he needed a break.
But as weird as it was for the first few months
Going to bed alone in a quiet home, everything neat and orderly was always a treat for the
just to wake up to a god awful mess like a hurricane had hit only the inside of the house.
Thankfully he's unable to fully freak out when he feels the weight of a body laying on him.
Arms wrapped securely in place as he moved around trying to view the full scope of the mess.
The look of defeat only rested on his face for a moment before he was pulled down by striped arms.
"What are staring at, red?..." You said half asleep as you pulled on the back up his shirt collar. "it's still too early to worry about the mess. Come back to bed" He gently shook his head in disgust opening his mouth to speak before getting cut off by a strong pull of his shirt. "I was setting up... sandworm traps. Couldn't't let them get my dearest deer." Alastor gave you a questioning look wanting to ask, but knowing better not too.
Sighing he let himself relax back into the comforter and wrap his arms loosely around as you laid right back on top of him. One of his hands softly treaded through your messy hair causing you to sigh and melt into his body. It was a quiet few moments until he had a passing thought.
"Wait... deer with an A, correct? Correct??"
He wasn't getting an answer from you anytime soon...
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bogunicorn · 9 months
Note
thoughts on what fandoms the da:i characters would be in
I will do this for you but ONLY if I amend it to "fandoms they would be annoying about" because it's funnier and otherwise I'm just assigning them shows they would be into and that's too subjective and less fun
One of them has to be a Homestuck and it's Sera, Sera is the Homestuck. Sera has a Trollsona that she doodles on everything, she would 100% absolutely try to dye herself gray using sharpies and vodka for a cosplay. She references it all the time and is annoying when you don't understand her jokes. She still tries to get people into it, but she considers Andrew Hussy a mortal enemy these days for Reasons.
Solas is a Song of Ice and Fire bitch. Not the show. The books. "But wait, Boggers!" you might say (if you know me well enough to call me "Boggers"), "What about LOTR? Why isn't Solas into LOTR?" And to that I say, he's definitely read it and is a nerd about it, but this is about fandom, and fandom to someone like a Reddit-addicted bitch like Solas is about theory crafting, debates, and politics, and ASoIaF being complex but unfinished really lends itself to the kind of deep internet toxicity that I think Solas would crave. Also he likes wolves.
Cole is a Supernatural Superfan. He has all the cheesy "join the hunt" merch because for a while it was his chief special interest and all he wanted was SPN stuff. He's kind of obsessed with Baby, specifically. His favorite episode was Baby and he has an AO3 account full of fic written from the car's perspective. He didn't cry in the finale until he saw the Impala under the canvas and he's been lowkey upset at Sam for doing that ever since.
Dorian is an old school Baldur's Gate fan. Like, BG1 and 2. He's played other RPGs of that era, those are just his favorites. What makes him an annoying fan is that he thinks complicated = good and looooooves to complain about how "simple" and "boring" current-era RPGs are. If you can't softblock yourself from all progress by making one mistake two hours into your playthrough, it's too easy. He's active in fandom spaces and is largely helpful, like he writes tips and guides and will answer newbie questions, but the price for his help is dealing with him being smug.
Leliana is a FromSoft fangirl and a Soulslike aficionado. Nightingale says git gud. She'll happily team up with you in co-op to get you through stuff if you ask, but she also explains mechanics and such like you should have known them already and thinks you're just not trying hard enough to listen, even though her advice is almost incomprehensible.
Cullen is an MCU fanboy. He fully believes they're the peak of cinema. He compares literally everything to an MCU movie, as he has seen all of them, multiple times, and thinks you're "thinking about it too much" if you criticize them in more than the most banal of ways. Usually it's fine, like, being excited for stuff is fine and enjoying mainstream things are fine, but you can only have so many "Thanos was a great villain" conversations with this dude before you go insane. Despite seeming incapable of critiquing the MCU, his criticisms of the DCEU are spot-on, sharp, and demonstrative of actually very impressive media analysis skills, but also coming from a starting point of "DC Bad, Marvel Good", so it's like, we could've had it aaaaaaaaall.
Cassandra is in the Bridgerton fandom. She read the original books and liked them, so she was one of the first people watching the show. Most of her fandom stuff happens on Facebook with other book fans. Watching the show with her is fun until the exact second she says "well, in the BOOKS" and then rattles off a list of the most inconsequential changes, distracting you from a pivotal moment in the show and forcing you to rewind. She is very pressed about the seasons going out of order from the books.
Varric is a Critical Role evangelist. He was there when it started, he's listened to everything. He's listened to other real play podcasts and shows, but CR is his favorite. That's not annoying in and of itself, what's annoying is that he will not stop trying to get you to watch it. If you even breathe in the direction of a DnD-related topic he tries to give you "advice on where to start" with CR. His friends put up with it because he's their Forever DM and they love him, but he sure does do a lot more obnoxious sound effects now than he used to and they're planning an intervention about it.
Josephine is a Disney Adult. She seems normal and then bam, you get blindsided by something insane, like that she owns every single Disney character Funko Pop, or that she's gone to DisneyWorld for vacation every year for the last decade, or you go over to her house for dinner and find Hidden Mickeys in her bathroom, or she's really intense about pin collecting and limited edition mouse ear headbands. You wonder when she has the time and energy to collect all this. And there's more of it every time you see her. But the thing is that she's pretty quiet about it as long as you don't poke the bear. You know that she's seen every one of the new remakes in theaters, but you don't dare ask her opinion about them. Her favorite princess is Cinderella and she tells you "the original dress was silver" with exactly the same amount of excited did-you-know energy every time.
I hate to break this to you all, but Iron Bull is a Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan fanboy. Yep. Yes he is. His toxic trait is that he shuts his brain off and just enjoys the gritty action sequences. He liked Batman v Superman. He bought the Snyder Cut. He thinks Nolan's Batman is the absolute best that franchise has ever been and ever could be. I'm sorry, it's heartbreaking but it's true. I know, I'm sad, too, we can hold each other.
Vivienne has been in the Anne Rice fandom under the same pseudonym for ever. She was one of the original fans and was much more active in fandom when she was much younger, but she made her fannish activities more and more private as she became more established in her career. You would honestly never know it meeting her IRL; at most, people come over for dinner parties and might notice that she owns every single Anne Rice book, but they're part of her overall book collection and don't really stand out. Secretly, though, she's been keeping up with the Anne Rice fandom under a pseudonym this whole time and goes to the more modern in-person events using her fake name. She might kill you if you ever connected her fandom activities to her real life in any way. She's also just, like, she's really bad at letting people be wrong about these books. Really, really, really bad. There are epic-length threads on old forums that are just her and one other similarly deranged person fighting about obscure Vampire Chronicles lore.
And finally, Blackwall is a Game of Thrones girlie. The show, not the books. He's one of those "I don't like fantasy but I like Game of Thrones" guys, and he thinks GoT is mold-breaking and special and better and grittier and more realistic than other fantasy and that's why he likes it. His most irritating fan trait is that he thought season 8 was good and that the ending was good and he likes to get into heated debates with other fans about it. However, he does not know what Reddit is, he only talks with other GoT-watchers in Facebook, which is why he and Solas haven't had the fight to end all friendships yet. Yet.
BONUS! Krem is into Star Wars and Scout Harding is a die-hard Trekkie, and they go to big cons and cosplay together. They're not annoying at all, I just wanted to mention it because I feel like that's in-character for them.
**also if you like this and think "i'm gonna give this fine person a follow because they're so funny about dragon age", i made a new DA sideblog at @skyholdstarbucks where i'd post anything similar to this in the future
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finelinevogue · 2 years
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imagine you and harry in a photo booth ellie IM SCREAMng
NO STOP IT RN
"Come sit here." Harry patted his lap, already sat down on the small bench inside the photo booth.
"I'll squish you though." You whined, standing outside the booth and in the centre of Urban Outfitters.
You and Harry had come shopping in London city centre, since you had birthday money to spend. Of course Harry had walked you in to shops such as Gucci and Selfridges to treat you, however you now wanted to go inside shops you could actually afford. Neither of you could just leave Urban Outfitters without actually going into the photo booth though.
“Sit down before I bloody drag you in here.” He pulled on your hand and took you into the booth with him.
“You’re funeral if I crush your legs.” 
“Sorry, but you didn’t seem to care about “crushing my legs” last night.” He winked, making you give up and plop down on top of his thighs. Your face slightly blushed as you thought about last nights activities. 
You settled comfortably on his thighs sideways, wrapping your arms around his shoulders so that you didn’t slide off. Harry made sure that his arms snaked around your waist to hold onto you and keep you sat where he wanted you. You leant into him a bit more, before reaching behind you and shutting the curtain behind you.
“How do we do this then?” You asked yourself more than Harry, reaching into your bag to dig out your phone.
It said ‘pay to start’ on the screen, you opened your phone to open up your bank app and caught sight of you lock screen. It was a pretty picture of your boyfriend, sitting on a beach in Brighton with a 99 ice-cream. He was laughing at something you had said and as a result had gotten ice-cream on the tip of his nose. It had been one of your favourite days ever, so you just had to keep it as your lock screen.
“You changed your lock screen.” Harry said.
“Yeah, I did.”
“What happened to the picture of us two?” He asked.
“Preferred this one of you.” 
Instead of saying anything to you, he leant in and gave you a few kisses on your neck whilst your phone payed for the machine to start working. He even nipped the skin a bit, wanting to stain his love against the cool of your skin.
“Stop, H. You’ll make m’skin red on the pictures.”
“Don’t care. Just shows that I love you.”
“Go away, y’pest.” You shoved his face away as he started to kiss you in the same spot again.
The screen then started to count down from five seconds and you positioned yourself better in front of the camera. He tightened his arms around your waist and brought you closer in to him.
The first photo was both of you just smiling into the camera. Your heads just laying on each other and squeezing each other tight, your smiles just showing how happy you were both with life and with each other.
The second photo you looked at Harry and he looked at you, his eyes sparkling at you with so much love. You rested one of your hands on his cheek and kept on looking at him as if he hung all the stars in your night sky, smiling at him because you were so grateful to call him yours.
The third photo was entirely candid, after Harry had made a joke. You laughed so loud you nearly fell backwards and it only made the entire situation funnier. The photo was captured of the both of you without you even noticing.
The last photo Harry took the lead and crushed his lips to yours, holding your cheek as your lips moulded together in perfect harmony. He tasted like the bubble tea that you’d just shared together and it tasted so good. So fresh and delicious. Like him. He kept kissing you and kissing you, not stopping until he knew that your lips were going to be raw and flushed - exactly the way he liked.
“I love you so much.” You whispered against his lips, going in for another peck.
“If you stopped kissing me for long enough, I’d let you know that I love you so much too.” He chuckled, mumbling against your lips that you were too in love with to disconnect.
“I don’t want to stop.” You sighed, kissing him like it was your last kiss on earth. It was so soft and yet so desperate.
After another minute, you pulled back from each other to see the effect you’d made. His cheeks were flushed and his lips puffed. He looked utterly beautiful and you could honestly cry at how pretty he was.
“I love you.”
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twisted-lover-boys · 5 months
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hello! Loved your Headcanon for my request! ❤ And thank you for providing me a new artist to follow their worked didn't even knew that it existed but overall I hope you have a wonderful day and great Life that's all!
ah also If you're still taking requests May I asked if you can do a brother rook reader fic?(if you're comfortable you can do headcanon or whatever you think suitable) where the reader just mischievous and tricked the 1st year since they didn't know rook has brother better yet attending the school, thinking his the real rook because of his unique power being available to copy anyone by appearances or their voice you can decide what happened in the end
I think I’ve said this before but I’m not a huge fan of the “reader is [blank] sibling” type of writing but, since I like Rook’s character, I’ll do it
Also, you didn’t really ask for anything specific so I’m just gonna make this a special event
{not proof-read}
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I feel like being on of Rook’s siblings is pretty chaotic since he’s the youngest of 7?? I think??? I don’t remember, it was mentioned in book 7. So now adding you, making you know the youngest of 8 feels even more chaotic
It’s canon that his older siblings like to travel a lot and aren’t normally home all the time so you were mostly raised by your parents + Rook. And don’t worry, they took extremely good care of you
You ended up being more mischievous than your other siblings and often got into trouble with your little pranks. You never went too far as you didn’t want to hurt any of your siblings
They eventually learned how to avoid your pranks but Rook was the quickest. Guess that’s why you both make such a dangerous pair
Let’s say that you’re a first year in Pomefiore, so about 2 years younger than Rook so it was almost too easy to prank others with your unique magic
Speaking on that, having the ability to copy anyone’s voice or appearance is pretty cool but, since we don’t want any over powered magic, let’s say there’s a time limit and you can only copy one person at a time and you can only copy the last person you touched
But, let’s be honest here, being able to copy your bother seems badass because of how notorious Rook is for “hunting” other students. You walking down a hall could easily push students out of your way
Anyway, planking your freshmen friends as different people is definitely funny. They don’t know who you’ll copy next and usually end up second guessing which has gotten them I’m trouble before
To be fair, you’ve probably been reprimanded by the other dorm leaders + your own and Rook as to why doing such things is dangerous. Eventually, you did stop and just ended up cloning your friends and copying their movements and voices. It was much funnier
That’s the pranking aspect of it. When it comes to battles/practical usage, it’s super helpful. You could easily blend into a crowd and escape detection or even divert attention. It’s super good for spy work, imo
Your freshmen friends did end up getting used to your jokes and would even try and prank you back, especially Ace. It was honestly just a bunch of fun
Or even doing funny impressions of them or others can get them riled up, especially if you do it in a satirical way. Just don’t tell Vil you copied him and made him say that he likes Neige…
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savi-our · 7 months
Text
Falling in Like with you...
Red - (UF Sans)
Red hadn't thought much of you at first, you were just a familiar face in a bar full of people. Just another somebody in a place full of nobodies. He minded his own business, as he often did, downing drinks faster than he could pay for them. You had done much the same, and as time passed it almost became routine. He would find you there, at the bar, a familiar face in the dim light. It was on a rainy night that he finally spoke up, no introduction, no opener, a joke about the weather of all things. He had made you snort and chuckle at the puns that just kept pouring out of his mouth, it was as if the more he drank, the funnier the jokes would get. He had tried to pick you up once or twice, on the days that his nightmares followed him outside the confines of his bed, dirty one liners masking the dark circles under his eyes. And you indulged him, of all things, you had indulged him. You didnt shy away from his advances, rolling your eyes and snorting at his half assed attempts to get you closer, if even for just one night. But that was as far as it ever went, you indulged him and then youd be gone, whisked away by the night. He felt loneliest of all when he watched you slide out of your seat, and as much as he loved to see you go, he hated feeling you leave. He didnt know when he began feeling this way, when your familiar face became his comfort, when the roll of you eyes made his smirk widen, when the prospect of you leaving made his mood sour. It scared him, by the stars it scared him. Both his comfort and his longing were growing by the day, and he was afraid. Afraid of so many things, afraid of the way his soul hurt whenever you were near him, afraid that one day you might stop indulging him, afraid of what would happen if you didn't. But as day turned back into night, and the familiar bar greeted him for the umpteenth time, you were no longer just somebody in a crowd of nobodies. You were his somebody. His comfort and his longing.
Edge - (UF Papyrus)
Edges life has been full of unexpected things lately. He never expected to see the sun and the clouds, he never expected to watch the ocean waves lap across the sandy beach, he never expected a life of calm and peace, but most of all he didn't expect to catch feelings. So when he found you - you who little by little sent his soul fluttering, you who sent his thoughts skittering whenever he heard you laugh - you who listened to him so attentively and paid attention to the little things, it was like a punch to the gut. He had needed weeks to come to terms with the fact that he actually liked you, not to mention the months of denial beforehand, but when one early afternoon you had come to visit the house and ended up jointly cooking up some late pancakes, he thought he would curse the stars for ever thinking he could keep his feelings locked away. You were just cooking, and cooking had soon escalated into talking, and talking escalated to teasing and teasing escalated into yelling. Soon it escalated so far from cooking that both of you were covered head to toe in flour. He sputtered, a deep crimson blush on his sharp cheekbones as he listened to you laugh at his expense. Both of you looked ridiculous, but at that moment he couldn't seem to mind. Your laugh made him want to bend at the knees and swear out the devil for how it made his soul stutter and swell at the sound of your annoying little laugh. He wanted to stomp his feet and tell you to shut the hell up. He wanted to curse you out for ruining his good shirt. But his blush betrayed him, his soul hung on every word you said, on every glance you sent his way. He decided it was okay - perhaps more than okay. Liking you was like getting on the wrong train, a train that made the scenic route worth the trouble. Like taking a wrong turn but arriving 10 minutes earlier. Like getting the wrong dish but liking it more than your original choice. It was both peaceful and unnerving. Liking you was akin to seeing the sun the first time, like dipping his toes in the ocean the first time, like seeing the light at the end of a very dark and empty tunnel for the first time.
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roguenancy · 1 year
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tbh i think it's So much funnier when steve is the one who's secretly an icon of gay culture. like, he's a rich kid who had no friends outside of middle schoolers for six months. it's entirely possible that he drove himself to Indianapolis (or a different city), were he could be surrounded by people who didn't look at him and immediately see the former king of high school who got dethroned by the new kid and then had his girlfriend dump him for the weird loner who beat him up the year before. and it's entirely possible that he could've stumbled across the indy queer scene on one of those trips
I'm gonna be honest, it's a little funny you sent this because I have a post sitting half written in my drafts about something very, very similar to this. My post was more of a focus on how I personally find it hard to really bite into the whole Eddie goes to Indy every weekend/every other, knows all the hidden safe joints, has lots of experience, and is well educated in gay culture concept that some people enjoy. It's not that it's bad, or wrong, or anything like that. It's just too hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of a canonically poor kid who A) is in a band that rehearses several times a week and plays every Tuesday night, B) runs a DnD club that also meets at least once a week, and C) is on his third senior year and attempting to succeed this time, has the time or the means to be doing all of that. Sure, it's fun... in theory, and if that's your jam, then by all means, go for it. I just personally can't get into it and think that the funny bit of it all is that between the two, Steve is in a place where he has so much more room to be that person.
We're talking about a kid who had parents that are routinely gone often enough he basically does whatever he wants without questions, including throwing parties, with booze, during the week. Who is known for being kind of rich and living comfortably above the norm of everyday Hawkins. Who was never in any way tied down or even weighted down by true responsibilities other than school and sports until after he graduated and was forced to get a job as punishment when he was cut off and being taught a lesson because he didn't get into college. Who, even after being cut off, doesn't seem to be doing that terribly and only really has the responsibility of holding down said job and occasionally looking after the kids when the world decides to try and end again. Who, even with the job, still has plenty of free time because he can't work 24/7 and his only age-appropriate friend is still in high school, also working, and in the school marching band, which has both weekly practices and game nights.
If you're going to sell me on anyone accidentally stumbling into the scene, it would be Steve, so you're 100% on to something, and I agree with you. I think my drafted post includes it happening after Steve runs into some old teammates who were down in Hawkins visiting for the week. They remember the peak days of King Steve and invite him to come up and visit one weekend at campus and party with them. Steve has nothing else to do, no parents around, no girlfriend, really no friends anymore, and longs to get out of Hawkins, so he agrees. His first takeaway from being on a college campus is how much different it is from high school. All of the bullshit they cared so much about before is suddenly out the window. The second takeaway is that some people are more open about their interests and what and who they do in the bedroom. It's confusing, it's new, it's overwhelming, but it's also kind of exhilarating. Give me Steve finding a weird, almost sad, and all too nostalgic-infused sense of belonging in hanging out at colleges he doesn't go to with people he barely knows. Give me Steve making it a bi-monthly thing when he has weekends off because it's nice to be able to just feel like a normal teenager for a few hours and hang out with people who don't know him or expect anything from him, and it's a hell of a lot better than remaining in an empty house, staring at the tv all day. Give me Steve, who eventually starts expanding on that, who checks out random bars on really lonely nights because he still has a fake-id that he paid way too much money for back in high school that's collecting dust. Give me Steve, who gets invited to a literal hole-in-the-wall bar and assumes it's going to be like all the others and then quickly finds it's not. Give me Steve, do doesn't even care because, for the first time in what feels like years, he feels comfortable somewhere. Give me Steve, who makes friends with an older bartender he comes to know by name and has his first boy kiss since his youth in the smoke-filled back booth. Give me Steve, who long time knew he liked that but is thrilled to find out just how much. Give me Steve, who is known to be impulsive at times, kinda reckless, and has no sense of self-preservation, who wants to love and be loved, who is kind of desperate and looking to fit in somewhere, who falls head first into bathroom stall handjobs and secluded car truck bend overs. Give me Steve, who got so sick of not having a place for himself, who got sick of not knowing who he was or where he belonged, that he went out and literally carved a hole for himself with nothing but a few dashed hopes and too much time on his hands.
Granted, even this wouldn't make him an expert in any means when it comes to queer culture, but I do think there is room to play around with what he does and doesn't know, and I kind of refuse to believe he's just absolutely ignorant when it comes to some of it. All in all, it is just so much more believable to me that he would be the one to go that far with it. The guy is literally a game for anything, so long as no one I care for is in danger type of guy. He's curious, kinda lonely, and filled with more emotions than he knows what to do with half the time. So him accidentally walking blindfolded and backward into a whole world he never really planned to? Yeah, kinda checks out, considering that's what he does with nearly. every. single. other. situation. he. gets. himself. into.
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kasagia · 1 year
Text
Our little game
~Part 2~ ~Part 3~ ~Part 4~ ~Part 5~
Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x witch! reader Summary: You and Klaus have been playing this game between yourselves since your first meeting. One day, you two would fight with each other like dogs, and the next day, you would flirt and act like people completely mad with love. But whatever was between you two, you would never lose this game and admit that you fell for him. He would only use you for your power, right? At least that's what you were telling yourself all this time. Words count: 4,2k
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I had no idea what I was doing here.
Wearing one of my fancy black dresses, I was staying in the middle of Mikaelson's compound in New Orleans, with hundreds of people surrounding me.
I was definitely making a huge mistake.
But a few hours ago, when my Mystic Falls gang tried (and failed) to kill these crazy heretics who came to our town two weeks ago, I could only think about coming here.
I needed to find a safe place to stay until Damon or Stefan called for my help.
But after hours of driving here, I wasn't sure if I still wanted to be a part of their group. Yes, I loved them all, especially Bonnie, who became my main "witch-teacher" after I found out I was like her, but sometimes I felt used by them. My power was stronger than any typical witch's. Even Bonnie was surprised to see the things I was able to do until my strength was exhausted and my nose started to bleed.
One day, Damon said that I was their greatest weapon. Then I burst out laughing. Now I'm not so sure how much the black-haired man was joking and how much his words were true. But I had to keep the promise I gave myself and stay with them, if only for Bonnie's sake. She would have killed herself trying to protect her friends, and I wouldn't let that happen. After all she did for me, I have to repay her debt of gratitude.
I turned on the radio while driving to nowhere and heard one of my favorite Mikaelson's, beloved, old songs, which was "better when it played at ball without this strange background sound." That's when I remembered Rebekah and her last words before leaving for New Orleans with her brothers: "You know, if your gang falls apart, you can always come to me. It would be funnier to have a partner in crime against Nik."
After a lengthy moral debate within me, I decided to fuck Salvatore's opinion of me and visit their nemesis. If Damon was so smart to make and realize his own crass plan without telling anyone, I could do something really stupid too and spend a week (or more) with Rebekah. After all, no one could control me.
Then it seemed like a very good plan.
Now with so many people around me, I decide that I have made a great mistake.
I totally forgot that four days ago, Bekah told me about the "engaged party" of Katherine and Elijah. (Thank God for my magic. At least I could turn pants and a T-shirt into a pretty dress.) I sent my gift to the happy couple with separate, joking congratulations to Katherine for "entrapping her Mikaelson after a long couple of centuries" without actually intending to attend the party.
Elena and Caroline would skin me if they knew that instead of buying them fancy birthday presents, I spent my money on something special for my best friend's big day.
In retrospect, I'd like to see their faces. They would be invaluable. Especially Damon's.
"My God, look who arrived!" a familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Hi Beks." I turned around to face her.
"Hi Beks? You appear here without telling me or Katherine anything; you hide in the crowd with a mean expression on your face, and all I get after months apart is a simple "hi"?"
"Well, in my defense, I was thinking about bringing you wine, flowers, cake and saying, "I'm sorry, baby,"  but I figured it would be only a waste of time and my money because you're going to yell at me anyway. Also, your boyfriend would be jealous." she started laughing and pulled me into a hug.
"I haven't seen you for too long."
"Bekah, we were talking yesterday morning."
"You called her yesterday and didn't call me?!" I heard Katherine's resentful voice behind me.
"You look gorgeous, honey. Engagement suits you." she gave me an unimpressed look. "Oh, c'mon. Don't be angry. I'm here now, ready to give you compliments and fight with your fiance's brother, who loathes you. Now, show me the ring. I want to see how much money Elijah was willing to spend on you." she burst out laughing, waving her ringed hand in front of my eyes.
"You realize you're not getting off so easily? Besides, something must have happened for you to suddenly decide to come."
"We can talk tomorrow. Tonight, it's about you and your undying love for her brother." I pointed to Rebekah.
"Talking about my brothers. We'll use some help with Nik's composure for the rest of the evening."
"It is so bad?"
"Yes. He's been following Elijah and trying to convince him to change his mind since this morning." Katherine complained. "He doesn't leave us alone, even for half a second."
"Do you two really think I'm able to "charm" him for the rest of the night?"
I asked, doubts about his supposed affection towards me. Since our first meeting, I and an original hybrid have had a kind of love-hate relationship. At the beginning, we only had short, verbal skirmishes, then it evolved into an open war (he tried to hurt Bonnie, so I gave him a headache and snapped his neck. After that, he used one of his hybrids to crack my car, so I convinced Rebekah to steal his car keys and give them to me. He gave up after two weeks of our teasing and after I (with little of Damon's help) ruined all his dark plans. The original hybrid bought me my own car, trying to bury the hatchet between us.) After a month of these events, the hatred between us began to develop into a kind of mean-companionship. At least no one had tried to gouge out the eyes of the other one anymore. Our "game" developed so much that one day he began to tease me with flirtatious phrases. And it's not true that I choked on my drink and blushed like a teenager from a romance book when he called me for the first time his "innermost, darkest pleasure," whispering it with his seductive tone, which he undoubtedly used for many women before. It was at our school party in the style of the 20s. Since then, I've figured out how to play by his new rules. I couldn't be worse than him.
"Well, you're doing your job even now. He's been staring at you for about five minutes, and you haven't even used any magic. I think we all know why, but you're too stubborn to admit it, so you might as well use his soft spot for you as reparation for your silence for 3 days."
"It's not a soft spot or any other stupid feeling you assume. This is a game."
That was our way of communicating: by circling around, lulling the other person's vigilance, and attacking when he least expects it. At the end of the day, I was just a toy for him—a mortal witch who was never scared of a 1000-year-old hybrid. He proved it after he moved with his family to New Orleans, and I never heard from him again.
"I like spicy stories, but please, keep my brother's kinks away from me. BOTH of you. It's just disgusting." Rebekah shuddered.
"I'm not…"
"Did I hear something about kinks? Y/N darling, it's a pleasure to finally see you here!" Kol suddenly appeared from nowhere. He got closer to me and gave me a strong hug.
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"What the bloody hell? You should be on Hayley's tail!"
"Relax, sister. Our brother's formal one-night stand peacefully came back to her husband and wolves. Which means I'm free for the rest of the evening.     Y/N do you want to dance with me?" without waiting for any response, he took my hand and led me to the dance floor, where other couples were dancing.
"Alright, what did you do?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"I have no idea what are you implying. I just wanted to dance with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time."
"Kol."
"Y/N."
"Okey, okey. Don't look at me like that. In a nutshell, there is a girl." Oh, I've heard about her. I was curious how much of the original's interest in this girl was genuine.
"My God. I never expected to live to see the day Kol Mikaelson finds his epic love." I cut him off with a smirk.
"She is a hag like you, by the way." he continued, ignoring my taunt. "She doesn't want to know me, but she loves me. I just need a little magic of jealousy, and voilà, I'll be kissing her at the end of this night."
"And you didn't think, Sherlock, that acting like this would make her think that you only play with her?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. The gears in Mikaelson's head began to turn.
"F*ck. So what should I do? I've tried everything. Flowers, jewelry, old grimoires, unexpected almost-dating, puppies, cats, and all of this modern stuff."
"The idea of coming to me with a "love problem" is as ridiculous as expecting an answer, but I will try my best because you are kind of my friend and seem desperate. I don't know if you thought of it, but speaking with her and making a true confession seemed too simple, didn't it?" I said it sarcastically.
"You mean… "L" word?" he cleared his throat, ashamed.
"For the love of God, Kol Mikaelson! Do you love her?"
"Of course."
"Then get out of my eyes and tell her, not me." he disappeared as quickly as he had appeared, leaving me alone in a sea of people.
"Little bastard." I said it to myself while trying to get out of there.
But someone made sure I wasn't left alone for too long.
"Hello, my love."
I would recognize that voice even on my deathbed, and I undoubtedly knew that he would someday be the reason for my death.
"Hello Klaus." I turned around to look him in the face. He had grown more handsome since the last time I saw him, which worried me a lot. I tried to hide my unwanted emotions behind a sarcastic smirk.
"If you're wondering if Stefan or Caroline sent their regards, I'm going to have to disappoint you."
"Actually, I'm wondering who I have to kill." I frowned, not understanding him. He swept me into his arms and whirled me about the dance floor as the orchestra played. "I knew you were planning not to go to this party. Katherine was very upset about that."
"So you must have had an enjoyable couple of days." I can't stop myself from interrupting him. He gave me a small smile, shaking his head in amusement. I was so close in his arms that I could feel his every breath adjust to mine.
"You don't usually change your plans, so it's obvious that your bunch of stupid friends must have done something impressively dumb. And quite possibly, it has to do with the emergence of competition vampire's group in Mystic Falls."
"You seem quite well informed, especially for someone who doesn't care about anyone but his family."
"Ouch. As mean as I remembered."
"And you're as irritating as always. It looks like no one changed."
I sighed as I looked around the room. Mission successful - Katherine talks to Elijah. The only problem was that they looked like they were gossiping about me and Klaus…
"Tell me, did you miss me?" Klaus' taunt diverted my attention.
I thought for a moment about how to answer his question. Of course, I missed him. I frequently found myself recalling memories of us in locations where I was at the time. But as I said to Rebekah and Katherine, there was no bond between me and Klaus. We were just two bored souls who were looking for entertainment. We liked messing with people and making fun of them. That's all. There is no feeling involved. But it doesn't mean I will miss my chance.
"Yes." I whispered this while staring into his ocean eyes, never taking my gaze away from him.
He was surprised by my bold, direct statement. He leaned slightly closer to me. His gaze was moving from my eyes to my lips.
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"I was bored as no one was trying to hurt me or my friends. Fortunately, Miss Salvatore came back with her own, special family." I got a little closer to him so I could whisper in his ear. "And then we had a new member of our group. Enzo. He's incredibly handsome and was an excellent substitute for your company."
He moved his hand slowly as he extended his arm to encircle my back. Then he dipped me deeply, looking at my eyes all the damn time.
"Be careful, my love. You may fall for him, of course, if you have a heart." he whispered, tightening his grip on me. I held my breath, too enchanted by the moment to respond to his taunt.
I should feel uneasy, distrustful, and disgusted that I am at his mercy, for he could drop me at any moment. Instead, all I could feel was being hypnotized by his blue eyes until he helped me get back on my feet again.
"Every girl would love him. He has dark hair, plays the guitar, and speaks with an English accent. Everyone's type, espessialy mine." I said, when I came back to my senses. If he wanted to tease me, I'd make sure I was a worthy opponent. I just had to keep my emotions under lock and key.
"So your "type" has to have an English accent? It's good to know."
"Yeah, but not as old as some of the people who live here. Also, not this one who wants to get closer to me only to use me for my power."
"You really think that little of me?"
"Is it truly important what I think about you?"
"No, not if you want me to remain a stranger to you. Not at all. But I'd like to think that we are more than we're willing to admit."
"Are you drunk?" I asked, taking a step back to examine him more closely. He began laughing at my reaction, drawing me closer to him once again.
"No, my love. I'm honest. But I'm not sure if there's a big difference between these two."
"You're honest only if you know it's in your interest. Clearly, you want something for me because you've been nicer to me than you have in the last few years. But you have to know I'm not that stupid to let you control me." I got out of his arms and went out in search of a room free of anyone.
"Running away isn't a solution, Y/N! I hope you know that." He shouted as he followed me. We came to a halt as we entered his art studio. Of all the fucking places in this huge villa, it had to be the den of the big bad wolf.
"Katherine has managed to escape you for more than 500 years." I said this without giving him a single, damning look. I much preferred to admire his works.
"Yes. Because she wanted. I'm not sure if you share her desires." He grabbed my arm, turning me to face him.
"What kind of fucked-up game are you playing right now?!" I yelled, yanking his hands away from me. He confused me. We never crossed that unspoken line in our banter. Few months apart, and now he shares the attitude of our crazy friends. That kind of playing wasn't fun at all.
"Did I bring up a sensitive topic? You're not ready to finally stop lying to yourself?" I laughed, mocking him.
"I've never claimed to be a saint." I growled at his face.
"You also never admitted being a sinner."
"That's good I've always wanted to be an anti-hero, then." I whispered, looking into his mesmerizing eyes, not even realizing that as we talked, we were getting closer, as we were suddenly a foot apart. I felt his hand slip around my waist like a snake. He pulled me closer and then I found myself pressed between his warm chest and cold wall.
"If only you weren't such a paranoid woman and suspected me of using you whenever I wanted to get closer to you. Maybe you would understand who you should be scared of and what is truly between us."
"Said the man who murdered his biological father because he was afraid Ansal would endanger Hope."
"You seem quite well informed, especially for someone who doesn't care about me."
"Katherine and Rebekah are gossipers. You can't blame me for listening to them."
"You have an excuse for every circumstance, don't you?"
"It's not my fault you can't accept the truth. Whatever you've been taking today, you'd better take less of it. It's damaging your immortal, ancient head." I started to turn towards the door, but he stopped me by grabbing my hand.
"Don't turn your back on me, love." he threatened, keeping his firm grip on my wrist.
"Or what are you going to do? Dance with me again? You're right, it's so dangerous and horrible that I can't take it anymore." I ignored his warning and tried to leave the room.
He used his vampire speed and pinned me against the door. He leaned in, his eyes closed, and rested his brow against mine. In a silent, peaceful room, our hard, synchronized breaths were the only sound I could hear. My world shrank to just the two of us. The party outside was long forgotten by me.
He rubbed the tip of his nose on mine. I shivered as I got close enough to him for the first time to feel the warmth of his lips (and yet they were so far from mine).
"You have no idea… what you're doing to me."
His deep, hoarse whisper reminded me of who was standing in front of me and why I couldn't give in to my inner, treacherous desire. Before his lips could catch mine in his intoxicating trap (and possibly destroy me for any other men), I wrapped my hands around his neck and pinned him against the door, keeping a decent distance between us.
When he felt a piece of wood on his back, he opened his eyes, looked at me, and gave me an impressive glance. He giggled sinisterly, sending a shiver down my spine.
"For your own good, if you're not ready for a fire, don't play with it, love." I leaned slightly toward him, still catching his gaze with mine.
"Who said I wouldn't be the one to burn you?" I whispered against his neck, placing a burning kiss on it.
His soft, strangled moan after I gently bit into his skin was enough reward for my patience and a sign to stop before things got deeper.
I slowly took my hand from his arm and put it on the doorknob. I smiled on his neck because he was too preoccupied with the feeling of my lips to notice anything. I decided not to tempt fate anymore. Hybrid could easily take control from me (which wouldn't be good for me at all). So I pulled the handle and opened the door. The original nearly fell down because of my sudden, unexpected move.
I left Klaus behind in my haste, casting a quick glance behind me. It was definitely worth it. His look of indignation will stay in my mind for a long time. This battle was mine. We gonna see what future bring.
I walked into the room in a magnificent mood and took the glass of wine from one of the waiters.
"Can everyone get together, please?" Elijah caught everyone's attention. "Thank you. I wanted to thank everyone for coming to our engagement party. Me and my beloved fiance are very happy to see people around us who are wishing us a long, beautiful future." the crowd began to applaud, interrupting his speech for a moment.
"Such a diva." I whispered under my breath as I sipped my wine. Rebekah somehow heard this and tried to hide her laughter.
"But I didn't gather you all here just to talk about my luck. We wanted to announce who, from our closest friends, will be the second-most important couple at our wedding. My best man and Katerina's maid of honor, I don't think it will surprise you that my best man will be my brother Niklaus."
Klaus stood on the stairs next to the couple, wearing his trademark sly grin. He scanned the crowd. His gaze lingered directly on me, and he didn't want to take his eyes off me. The little bastard must have been up to something.
"I've been thinking about this since the day we got engaged, and to be honest, the decision wasn't as easy as it seemed to be. It was my desire to have this person as my maid of honor, but circumstances indicated that, unfortunately, my dream would not come true. You don't know how happy I was when I heard a few hours ago that she agreed. So without further extensions. My chief bridesmaid and best friend, Y/N Y/L!"
Applause erupted around me. It took me a second to recover from the shock and climb the stairs. I was standing right in front of this smug son of a bitch.
"Thanks for asking." I said to Katherine when Elijah ended his speech and people spread around.
"Klaus didn't tell you?" she asked, looking at her future brother-in-law.
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The original just shrugged.
"Don't worry, Kath. I won't make a scene. I'm not going to play according to the script of this drama queen. It will be a pleasure to be your maid of honor."
"I'm not a drama queen." the hybrid interjected, frowning.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." I responded, giving him a small look.
"If you're so worried about my good sleep, why don't you join me in my bed, love?" he asked, coming to my side, so I had to give him my attention.
"Ha ha. Not even in your wildest dreams."
"In my wildest dreams, we don't need a bed, love." he said, casually adjusting the strap of my dress on my shoulder. His icy fingertips brushed against my heated skin, right next to my collarbone.
"You're the thousand-year-old father of a little girl. You don't think it's time to act like an adult and not a horny teenager?" I asked, grabbing his hand and pulling it off me.
"Ouch. But then you wouldn't even notice me." he pretended to be offended. He also tightened his grip on my hand without thinking of letting go. I fell into his trap with my own fucking wish.
"Believe me, it's impossible to miss you. I've tried. Many times." I growled, trying to free my hand from him.
"Aw, is that your way of telling me I'm special to you?" he asked, clearly amused by my annoyance. I've never seen such a huge smile on his face.
"Yeah, like a plastic, red punch cup at a school party," he laughed, reluctantly releasing my hand.
I turned to say something to Kath, but then I realized that she had left us in the middle of our conversation. I sighed as I was alone with him again. It's going to be a very long week (or month).
"By the way, when are you going to tell me I'm Katherine's maid of honor?" I asked, favoring him with my look again.
"It must have slipped my mind when you were passionately kissing my neck, love."
"Oh, I remember. You were moaning for me like a street lady."
I turned to leave, but he suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his hard, well-built chest. He placed my head on his shoulder and cupped the tip of my right ear with his lips. His fangs came out, reminding me of his superhuman strength. Sometimes I forgot that the man I was teasing could easily break me with a flick of the wrist. Of course, if I let down my guard and drop my magic for a moment. We both knew that was impossible.
"Maybe I should return you a favor, and then we will see which one of us is making the most tempting moans?" he whispered suggestively and placed a small kiss under my ear. "What do you think about it, love?" he asked, rubbing his nose against my neck. He took one deep breath before placing his revange-wet kiss there.
And then, when I was burning for even his littlest touch, he just walked away like nothing happened.
I stood there, frozen in shock, watching his receding silhouette (definitely with a proud smirk on his face).
There was only one thing in my head.
1:1 motherf*cker
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naffeclipse · 1 year
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Heya Naff, slightly late but Happy New Year!! 🎆 Hope you’re doing well and I wish you much inspiration and many good things this coming year! <33
I had a little query pop to mind recently if that's okay:  what if reader in the Deep Dreams universe had megalophobia and/or perhaps even thalassophobia? 
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I know this might make less sense for fisher Y/N as we know them, so it could hypothetically be some other person, a friend or a future Y/N who makes friends with juvenile Sun and Moon and then only later discovers they've grown to be big sea beasties - maybe seeing them in their dreams is fine but for real it's a different matter, at least until they get used to them :)
How might the boys react?
Having a slight bit of megalophobia myself, the best way I can describe my experience is a gentle anxiety with the need to seek shelter and cower there, but people's experiences can vary (and possibly change depending on the conditions). Also that kinda makes it 10x funnier that I have an affinity for giant creatures xD
Hi, Piixel! Happy New Year to you, too, babe! ♥ Thank you so much, ahhh, you're much too kind! :D I hope you have a beautiful year and an abundance of lovely things happen to you!
Oh ho! Fear of big things and of large bodies of water? I'm sure that totally wouldn't be a source of great fear and conflict with a poor little reader soulbond to a couple of mers hehe (The Sea Beast is an excellent movie btw!! ♥)
Y/N with megalophobia and thalassophobia wouldn't be caught dead on the ocean. You have dreams about two massive mers, and those creatures are always sweet and gentle and attentive, but you're still convinced it's some weird nightmare (even though no real spooky events unfold in said dreams). The mers coax and plead with you to go out to sea so you can all meet, but that's a solid no from you.
Then through a very terrible chance of fate, you're on a boat for whatever reason but very much against your desires, before you get swept away by a rouge wave and left behind. You're alone, struggling to swim in a massive ocean when—oh goodie, that looks like a giant mer floating right below you. What else could go wrong today?
Needless to say, after seeing Moon, then Sun, and realizing that these massive mers you've had dreams about are here in the flesh, you pass out from sheer fright. It's a lot for you to wrap your brain around, but when you come to, you're on Sun's back as he floats gently along the surface, keeping you dry as you begin losing your mind out of the horror of it all while Moon watches you from close by. You can't jump into the great wide ocean to escape the mer carrying you but you can't stay on the thing's scaly back either, so you may have a panic attack. Sun stops and turns his head back to give you his full attention while Moon tries to take you in his hands but that does not help your situation. They can feel your panic and horror, but you can feel confusion and distress at not being able to help, and in fact, them being the cause of your fear.
Their attempts to calm you down are met with resistance as you want to be anywhere but here in the ocean with two giant mers.
Sun and Moon are bewildered and upset, to say the least. You did often seem nervous in your little dream rendezvous but they thought they did a lovely job of reassuring you it was alright and that they would never hurt you and there's nothing to be scared of. Turns out, not quite. So, they take you safely back to the island shore where you more or less escape from the massive monsters and flee inland. But, there's not a whole lot of places to go on the little island and you've got to sleep eventually, so Sun and Moon decide to spend more personal time with you and show you that really, they're the two baby mers you happened to scoop up one summer day when you were just a tot and didn't realize how scary some things could be.
They'll be patient. You'll see that there is no place safer than with them in the water. They'll help you face your fears and then reunite with you.
If you ever leave your house again, that is.
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pixelpulp · 3 months
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10 years ago to the day, I put in my notice at the Bose store I worked at, because for some reason I was allowed to start an art career when I had almost nothing to offer.
At the time, I was 3.5 years out of college and depressed to the point of googling “most painless way to unalive yourself”. I don't know what the search results looks like these days, but the ones I got weren't within my means, so I applied for a job posting on CraigsList and said I'd circle back to Plan A when I got rejected. I didn't have any work experience, so I made my resume the big stupid thing up top there.
I don't know how much of the document constitutes as "lying". Technically I didn't lie! I was featured in the publications I listed! They were not real jobs. I don't recommend doing this unless you're a really good bullshitter and you have literally no other options in life, and even then I'd tell you that I'm an awful role model and you shouldn't do what I did.
For some reason, I was hired! Bonus: my first assignment was drawing rocket ships for Johnson & Johnson. I don't know why they'd give that to an obvious liar! But I didn't realize it was a contract/freelance hire, which, if you don't know, is a complete lifestyle change from a normal job. I decided to jump right into the world of running one's own business because Plan A seemed less attractive now.
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Over the years, I've had opportunities to work with major international brands, explore a bunch of different industries I never thought to work with, collaborate with folks I looked up to for years, worked on books and games and animation and music and ads and a bunch of other stuff. I'm very fortunate to have what others have told me is a "career" but what feels like a series of silly things that have happened to or around me. Lots of people took a chance on me when they probably should've hired someone with a better head on their shoulders.
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I don't use the Drawbarian resume anymore (I have work experience now!), and I don't think it represents me even a little bit, but I think self aggrandizing humor is way funnier than self depreciating humor, and that original drawing was so fucking bad that I wanted to see and enjoy my growth in something more tangible.
Plus I dunno muscle dudes are fun to draw.
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